#its essay time its 30% of your GRADE GIRL!!!

[themyscirah]

When you come up with the coolest concept except you can't let yourself think abt it because you have a major essay due in 3 hours 😡😡😡😡😡

Anyways. EMBASSY DAY AT THE THEMYSCIRAN/AMAZON EMBASSY. YOU SEE MY VISION

[vlrspace]

essay, bakugou x reader

wc: 1K

cw: pure fluff

“read over my essay, great explosion murder god dynamight” you said as you threw your book on the table in front of him.

bakugou, who’s been minding his own business, looks up at you from where he sits, face blank for a second before he furrows his brows with a grimace. “why the fuck would i do that, especially for you? go ‘nd ask the extras” his tone is unbothered, though he doesn’t push your book away.

“momo’s on a date with shoto and tenya uses the sophisticated words he learned from middle school, every time. that’s how i know what sophisticated means” you start to explain, before using a little tactic on him “and you’d help me because you’re so smart and good at school, like i wish i was as smart as you” you compliment him in a pleading way, hoping if you stroke his ego a little bit then he’ll help you.

“nah, i see what yer trying to do, go ask the nerds. i ain’t got time for your shit” bakugou says after a few seconds of looking at you and while you somewhat expected him to react like that, doesn’t mean you weren’t prepared to come up with something else.

“okayy, i’ll ask izuku. i’m sure he’ll help me in a heartbeat” you beam at him as you reach for your book, however bakugou grabs it first and holds it away from you.

“‘right, i’ll fucking do it” he yells at you and a sly smirk makes its way to your cheeks as you cross your arms and the ash blond, quickly realising his actions, puts your book down with a huff. “i get better grades than that nerd ‘nyways” he mumbles while standing up with your book in his hand, completely dwarfing it with his larger ones.

ripping your eyes away from his hand before he could catch you staring, your smirk turns into a small smile. “you’re the best kats” you look up to him, his body slightly towering over yours as he looks down on you with a hint of softness and you can see his his lips curling up a little bit at the ends. “let me know if you’re done” you grin and turn to join the girls on the couch.

bakugou doesn’t have time to reply, he’s only looking after you for a few seconds before turning to leave and read over your essay in the comfort of his room.

katsuki: come over

came the message an hour later and you swiftly excuse yourself from the group, all of them wiggling their brows and teasing you as you emerge from the common room, knowing about your crush on the explosive boy. your face turned red from all the words and gestures and you decided to ignore them, hoping your cheeks calm down by the time you reach bakugou’s room.

bakugou opens his door a moment after you knock on it and lets you in. you take a seat on his bed, where he joins you a few seconds later, sitting next to you a few inches away.

“yer essay was fine, just stop repeating words and use different sentence structures. the built up was good, though not as interesting as mine. overall it was bosting” he explained to you, smirking at the end and you looked at him with eyes narrow, lips in a pout.

“you’re doing this on purpose i swear” shaking your head, you gently push against his shoulder with yours, knowing it won’t effect him at all from how muscular he is. “do you think it’ll give me a passing grade?” you ask unsurely, looking down at your hands.

“i know, you’ll get more than a passing grade” bakugou’s voice is rough, but his tone is soft and he wonders if you can sense the tenderness in his eyes, showing only for you.

“thank you for reading over it!” you say, a smile tugging at your lips as you stand up from his bed, already missing the warmth of him by your side, even if the two of you weren’t touching. “i should probably go, it’s nearly 8:30 and i don’t want to mess up your sleeping schedule” there is no teasing in your tone and bakugou feels his heart beating a little faster at that as he looks up at you and your breath hitched in your throat at the eye contact. bakugou looked up at you with care, completely different from an hour ago and the butterflies in your tummy are going wild.

before you could make a complete fool out of yourself, you take a step back before turning to walk towards his door and he follows you with your book still in his hand. you’re so caught up in your thoughts that you haven’t seen his hand reaching towards the doorknob before you, opening it a little as he murmured a quiet “here”, holding your book out for you with his other hand. you turn around and take your book away from him bashfully, mentally slapping yourself for forgetting the very thing you’re here for.

“thank you katsu, you’re such a sweetheart!” you quietly say, before standing on your tiptoes and kissing his cheek, surprising both you and him with your boldness and you feel bakugou’s body tense slightly before relaxing and you feel one of his hand softly brush against your lower back, rubbing against your shirt gently.

“‘s okay” he breaths against your hair after you pull back and with a final glance at each other you leave his room with a grin and he returns it.

later that night, it’s well past his bed time and bakugou is still up, thinking about your little encounter from earlier. he knows that he likes you and he also knows that he needs to make a move before someone snatches you away from him. he gets out of his bed, fully aware that it’s past curfew and as quietly as he can, he exits his room.

he feels his heart in his chest as he knocks on your door, fearing that you might be asleep already, but you open the door, still awake. bakugou utters out the words before he can stop them upon seeing you.

“go on a date with me”

[lunarmote]

Revisiting Suicide Room (2011)

Watch the same movie at age 12, 19, 25 - you'll react to it differently.

Two nights ago I watched a Polish movie with my art school friend S called the Suicide Room (Sala Samobójców). I’d seen this movie before about 5 times. The movie is about a gay high schooler called Dominik who gets "outed" by his former friend in an embarrassing public accident, is made the laughingstock of his class, and spirals into a depression. He seeks refuge in an online VR game where he meets a depressed girl who seems to understand him... As the movie goes on, he gets more sucked into the virtual world and loses touch with the outside world.

It's a film that seems to have gained a bit of a following in certain circles. It's criticized for the same drama that its followers praise it for -- depicting what it's like to have teenage depression. And all at once I am puzzled by this supposed "charge" against the movie: that it's melodramatic. The fact that there seems to be such a clean divide between older people calling it over-the-top and funny, an exercise in teens taking themselves so seriously, and teenagers idolizing the characters for being true-to-life, indicates to me this movie IS effective at highlighting some kind of bridge in preferences or empathy.

What does it mean for a film to be overdramatic?

I mean, this isn't the first teen movie to be called sentimental, melodramatic. As for myself, the film has lost the poignancy it once had but I am still incredibly fond of it.

This was my favorite movie as a teenager. At age 14, I begged my mom to be homeschooled. My overworked single mom panicked - a straight-A student threatening not to go to school was unheard of. The school administration freaked, set up "counseling" sessions where all they could do was talk glibly, soullessly, about the importance of education.

I remember watching Suicide Room that night and telling my mom I was perfectly willing to write a 5-page essay on my own on how the film was so beautiful and truthful and that if all English assignments were like this I would have no problems with school. I learned so much more through empathizing with the characters of Dominik and Sylwia than I learned through any school assignment. (It's interesting how this film works - it distracts you from your own pain by convincing you to, for an hour and 30 minutes, sympathize with another person. You come into the film wanting vindication, but you come away from it feeling like you lost a friend. I wanted to save Dominik.)

The fact that teenage angst seems to be near-universal, and the fact that adults eventually overcome it (I'd argue they don't actually, as many adults seem to be living in some kind of low-grade feelinglessness) doesn't suggest to me at all that the pain teens face is out of proportion, or that teens lack "perspective." It suggests rather, that perhaps adults have lost the memories of what it's like as a teenager, or they have lost sympathy towards that time of their life, since many people seem so embarrassed by their high school selves they try to scrub clean any memories of them.

I guess I can talk a little more about the main character in the film, Dominik. He is an entitled, condescending, sheltered kid. He nonetheless has a deep desire to connect with another human being. In the depths of his pain he turns to Sylwia who at first seems to be the provider of psychological support (and this time around, I picked up on this more strongly) - Dominik's redemption lies in the fact that he was willing to sacrifice himself to alleviate the pain of someone he thought had it worse than him. But his deepest flaw was not realizing that he had it worse.

Isn't that what happens? Your immediate environment fails you so you turn to the Internet. You find a community. You're led there by your own pain but you stay because you empathize with others' pain. But to break free of the pain means to break free of community.

A very clever scene exists in the movie. Sylwia is using Dominik to get herself pills so she can overdose. Torn between the threat of her hate and his fear of losing her to suicide, he talks to his psychiatrist through the closed door of his room while being in a voice call with Sylwia. The psychiatrist doesn't realize his answers have the double intention of showing Sylwia that ultimately, he will do as she wishes (get the pills), but not without stating his piece. He says he doesn't want to die. He doesn't understand suicide. His voice strains and he starts tearing up as he speaks to both - he doesn't understand how people who commit suicide could do that to their loved ones.

I've always wanted to stay up all night with Dominik. As a teen I wished I could pause the movie and jump in-universe and get through to him somehow, before the fatal incident. I told him I would stay up all night with him and we could just talk about, you know, life and death and beauty and our willingness to live, because sometimes you just need a friend.

So the film is dramatic. That’s what it takes to save a life.

[ellesliterarycorner]

Putting Casual Normalcy In Your World

Welcome to my five-point essay on why no matter what genre your story is, where your story is set, or when your story set, there should be some kind of diversity in it. There are so many people who are basically saying that if authors didn't want to have diversity and representation in their work then they don’t have to because it's their work and their world, and technically yeah, I guess I can’t like make you put representation in your work, but why be like that when you can depict the world in a realistic light and have good representation for children everywhere!

The thing about diversity is that it’s normal. It's normal for there to be diversity in the world. The world is a very diverse place. I would bet all of my allowance that there aren’t any places in the world without BIPOC or members of the LGBTQ+ , and even if you're writing a fantasy novel set in a different world, it's important that you reflect the rich diversity of the world within your world. For BIPOC children and LGBT+ children, it's important for them to see that they can be the heroes of their own stories. Our media and literature is so whitewashed. As a kid, I only read books about white characters. All the shows I watched, only had white characters. But, that wasn't reflective of my daily life at all. In my grade of 128, 14 are black, 30 are Asian(Chinese, Japanese, Indian, etc.), and 10 are Hispanic or Latinx. That means that 54/128 in my grade are BIPOC.  I can’t do math, but I’m pretty sure that’s around like 40ish percent. My life has always been filled with diverse people, and I didn't understand why the media I consumed didn’t reflect that.  I knew I didn't like it though. 

It messed with my worldview. It made me feel like I didn’t get to be the hero of my own story because I rarely saw people I could look up to in those roles or really in any roles. Having diverse casts is so important, so that kids of all races and ethnicities can see themselves in your characters. 

Not only is having that diverse normalcy important in literature, but casual representation is important as well. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE reading books about LGBTQ+ teenagers questioning their sexuality and going on a journey to find themselves. Those books are normally awesome! But, I also LOVE books where the MC or other characters are members of the LGBTQ+ community, and the story isn't about them discovering their sexuality, it's just about them fighting giants or dragons or some shit. Stories about them living their normal lives that do include their sexuality, but are not consumed by it. 

Casual representation is so important because as a black bisexual woman, my whole life isn't about my sexuality or my skin tone. It's a large part of my life, but it certainly isn't my whole life. A lot of time when minority groups do see themselves in media or literature, its about them overcoming the odds and combating discrimination. And, yes, that does happen, but more often than not, we just live our lives, go to school, go to work, hang out with our friends, because YES we are normal people too! 

Like I said causal normalcy looks like BIPOC characters just living in your world, and not as servants or god-forbid slaves. It looks like your LGBTQ+ characters just living their lives without constantly facing discrimination. It also looks like conversations like this, 

“Hey, that’s a really cute necklace where’d you get it?” 

“I don’t know! It was a present from my dads.” 

Simple conversations like that which is actually a conversation I’ve had with a girl in my grade about a necklace she was wearing. Little conversations that shows people that it’s okay and perfectly fine and normal to have two dads or two moms or non-binary parents, or any combination of those. 

[boomerang109]

hi!! (god i hope the way i type doesnt rat me out skddk jesus at this point it might who even know i feel like its distinct but maybe thats just me idk) but!!! time to just Rant abt twwda, *sighs in the best way possible* ****this***** fic. man. the Very first thing it helped me (that was memorable to me) honestly was the whole acne thing where toph was like are you good looking and zuko’s like ‘well i have a scar and acne’ and toph’s like ‘acne’s a normal thing’ my hesrt just idk why but whenever i have a Bad day abt myself (or the parents are on my back abt it skdhdj i Hate that but thats Not what this rant is abt) im just like ‘its a normal thing’ and!!!! i got that from **your** fic!!! genuinely you Cannot understand how close twwda is to me as a person bc

the whole test anxiety? and zuko not telling his teachers he has trouble hearing? in the fifth grade i needed glasses Bad but i never told Anyone bc i felt Bad (still hold strong to this habit 😃) but God i just- i just *relate* and Finally.

the enby aang. ive been able yk even tell my irl ant me possibly being she/they (maybe even they/them) solely bc of your fic (i even told her that it was thanks to your fic and explained everything abt the whole enby aang!!!) ill seperate this mess into paragraphs skdhdk but!! please just know how Much you helped me

OH SHIT FUCK the whole a flower in shade can also grow in the sun. that Hit bc its like ‘you dont Need to suffer just bc you can survive in that condition, you deserve the basic necessities too’ and honestly when i read that i just sat there stunned like wow. so?? true??? i honestly just love you and your fic (okay bye sorry skdbdksk !!!!!)

thats my four paragraph essay for you boom <3

okay anon, it’s nearly 2:30 am (probably will be by the time i finish typing) so if im a bit incoherent i apologize. i just know im going to be busy tmrw and i didn’t want this to sit in my inbox (sorry to everybody else who didn’t get responses whoops)

(honestly idk who you are and i hope you feel comfy telling me at some point, but it’s okay if not!) (i do have a few guesses but i keep changing my mind so basically im clueless ahdhdjsks) (actually right after i typed that i noticed something that’s unique—i think—to you. the person i’m thinking of is absolutely lovely, but i’m not going to start guessing or anything cause if you don’t feel comfy having any identity connected to this, that’s okay! that’s what anon is for!! just do what makes you most comfy)

i love that the acne line resonated with you? i think you’re the second person to mention this and i 🥰! it’s such a throw away line but i always hate in fics when people make them high school age and then are like “except for his scar, zuko’s skin was smooth” or whatever the fuck. like no!!! high schoolers have acne!!! and obviously zuko is embarrassed of it, but sokka is just like dude. we all have it, im good looking and ive got acne so just don’t even worry. and that’s the energy im sending you (and your parents cause they better not be on your back about acne that’s dumb af) cause no one is judging your acne (they’re too busy worrying about their own) AND even if they were, that makes them a shitty person whose opinion doesn’t matter. you’re beautiful with acne

i want you to work on asking for help, like mx mak said, it’s not a limited resource! and often teachers/adults are happy to help you. (and often it’s their job/the law that they have to). but also? i wrote zuko missing shit in class being like “oh this is unrealistic if someone was missing what was being said in class they’d get notes from someone” and then i took a class where the prof spoke way too fast and my audio processing said NOPE and there would be days where my notes would just be question marks like zuko and i didn’t ask anyone for help. (i did start recording class which is literally illegal without permission but shhh it’s fine)

i’m so glad i was able to help you and please know i’m here to help in whatever capacity i can outside the fic as well. it’s kind of a joke that being trans is contagious but actually being able to hear about other people’s experiences is So Important. cause six months ago i could’ve confidently told you i was a cis girl and had been sure of that my whole life. but then i finally admitted to myself that my “thinking they/them pronouns were the coolest thing ever and kind of being jealous” thing was not very cis of me. and yeah, everyone’s experience is individual. but we can at least share our thoughts and what we learn to help each other. cause i wanna support you

you deserve MORE THAN basic necessities. you deserve so much more, but the necessities are a good place to start. treat yo self.

please don’t apologize!!! i appreciate this sm, i love you and your four paragraph essay <3

[rakeshys]

Things you should be knowing as student

1) If you take control of your Sunday, you take control of your week.

2) When assigned a long-term project, finish some amount of work toward its completion that very same day.

3) Start small and start immediately.

4) If you cannot maintain an organized room you will never truly feel that your life is organized.

5) It is important to keep your room clean. And it will make your mother happy.

6) Apply to the scholarships.

7) You should never begin studying without a systemized plan for what you are going to review, in what format, and how many times.

8) Before you even crack your first book, take ten minutes to actually write down exactly how you plan to study.

9) The planning is as important as the process.

10) If you want to become a standout student, you must befriend a professor.

11) Reading a daily paper provides essential food for your ambitious brain. Make sure you don't go hungry.

12) if you are constantly worried about avoiding anything negative, you will never do anything out of the ordinary.

13) Don't let others dictate how you should feel about yourself; strengthen your identity—then go conquer your world.

14) do yourself a favor and give time-blocking a try. It's a much smarter way to manage your day.

15) Remember, giving up, when done strategically, is not a weakness. It's simply smart life management.

16) The happiest students are also the most involved students. When it comes to crafting your slate of collegiate pursuits, the sooner you get involved, the better.

17) always be working on a"grand project "

18) take art history and astronomy before you graduate.

19) Imagine the following scene: Your professor is handing back a major research paper to your class. The groans that begin to fill the room indicate that the professor was particularly demanding for this assignment. And rightly so, it's worth forty percent of your grade. As he gets to your name, he asks you to stay after class. Uh oh. Nervously you wait as your classmates file out, and when you are the only student remaining in the lecture hall, he walks up to you . . . and then shakes your hand. “Congratulations,” he exclaims, “your project was by far the best in the class!”

Sound good? Well, get used to it.

20) One or two good questions a class is enough to keep the professor happy, but not enough to solicit the annoyance of your classmates.

21) Getting involved with research early is like drinking an elixir of success.

22) If you pay your dues with grace and enthusiasm and are mindful of the opportunity you are receiving, you will maximize the many positive benefits of participating in original research work.

23) Take ten-minute breaks in between each fifty-minute chunk.

24) One, it makes you feel better about yourself. If you look good, you can imagine that cute guy or dimpled girl in the front row shooting some glances in your direction. This will make you happy. And when you are happy, you have more energy and pay attention better in class. Two, it makes the day official. When you look like you just rolled out of bed, it's all too easy to imagine rolling back in. If you dressnicely, you are sending yourself the message that you are ready to get started and attack the day.

25) Decorate your room.

26) experience the joy of dominating a test without any hard work,this is done by studying Two weeks in advance.

27) Force yourself to write as much as possible. It is an essential, irreplaceable skill for succeeding. Master it.

28) taking the time to eat a social meal with your friends is a great idea; just don't do it more than once a day.

29) Schedule an escape for yourself every single week. And do it alone. Treat it like taking medicine.

30) “Why waste your time and money in the minor leagues of college courses when you have the ability to be swinging in the majors.”

31) When it comes time to study, go where it counts.

32)The best way to learn difficult material is to go over it by yourself, with a lot of concentration, again and again and again until the concepts become second nature.

33) As long as you are paying so much money to attend college, you might as well maximize what you get out of your investment. If you can get into an honors program, do so. No excuses.

34) The key is consistency.

35) Getting fired up, once or twice a month about subjects that interest you, will go a long to way to helping you succeed. Go to guest lectures and keep your intellectual fires stoked.

36) Don't let the decision to exercise become a debatable question. Instead, make it a habit, like going to class or brushing your teeth.

37) You never realize how important your back-home friendships are until you begin to lose them. Stay in touch.

38) Sleep is just a tool to help you function. Treat your body like a machine—give it exactly what it needs to perform its best, not any more, not any less. Give the snooze button a rest. Try to sleep only the amount you need to make it through the day.

39) The best state for your mind to be in is confident and calm. Take the hour before an exam to relax.

40) Read a nonacademic book. Listen to music that makes you happy. Run a couple of errands. Have a conversation with a friend. Work on unrelated—nondemanding—schoolwork. The key is to keep your mind active and energized, but not exhausted. Then head over to the exam fifteen minutes early. On the way, start to lightly review some material that you feel particularly good about. Imagine yourself writing a strong essay on this topic, imagine the professor handing the class a copy of your essay as an example of a good answer. This technique is more than just shameless ego-stroking, it builds your confidence, and, more important, it warms up your mind in a good and controlled sort ofway. When you arrive at the test location, avoid the temptation to frantically catalog all the concepts you are a little shaky on. Try to keep your mind blank, or, alternatively, continue thinking confidence-boosting thoughts about doing really well. When the exam is finally handed out, take a deep breath and have at it. You should be mentally nimble, rested, and energized by the time your pen hits the paper.

41) If a friend invites you to do something and you are not too busy, find the energy to go. If a friend invites you to do something, and you are really busy, don't go, but make plans to get together later in the week. Most important, if a good friend needs help, drop everything and go.

Making friends your number one priority doesn't mean sacrificing your other obligations, but it does demand that you keep them in mind.

42) Be mature and make the right decisions to keep your mind and body in a condition to perform your best.

43) The point is that there are too many factors that can account for both good and mediocre academic performance on any given day, and none of these factors has anything to do with intelligence.

So save yourself a lot of unjustified grief (or pride), and simply ignore your classmates' grades. Worry about your performance and progress; let your classmates worry about their own.

44) A good listener at college is rare.

45) Don't decide to start working the day before.

46) Find something every single day that will make you laugh.

47) Using a high-quality notebook will not guarantee you success, but it will create the right environment for it to flourish.

48) if you don't actively seek out fun, it won't actively seek out you.

49) Take the most important projects or commitments with which you are involved, and pump up your criteria for success.

50) corporate recruitment sessions, and yes, even parties. In the chaos of classes, extracurricular activities, and a healthy social schedule, these optional events are easy to avoid. Don't avoid them.

51) If you want to be a successful student, forget about your G.P.A. Ignore it. Don't talk about it. Make no attempt to know the numbers. You should approach your collegiate career with confidence and energy.

52) Always go to class!

53) Set arbitrary deadlines.

54) eat healthy

55) don't just volunteer, volunteer quietly.

56) approach every paper as if you were trying to win a Pulitzer Prize for explanatory reporting.

57) Attend political rallies and keep the flame of progressive thinking alive.

58) Once you have decided on a destination, explore many routes to get you there.

59) Don't take breaks between classes!

60) Don't network. But keep your connections strong.

61) If you can maximize the use of your surroundings, you can maximize your performance as a student.

62) Organize the messages in your e-mail in-box like you would your paper files

63) To be a successful student, you must abandon the start-slow, end-fast mind-set, and instead approach all projects by aiming to start fast, end slow.

64) Spend a semester studying abroad.

65) you want to succeed because you love the excitement of pushing your potential and exploring your world and new experiences, if you want to succeed because life is short and why not fill it with as much activity as possible, then you will win. If you approach life with an attitude of never having regrets and always having a hopeful smile on your face, you can find a measure of success in all your endeavors. Don't have no regrets, but have plenty of fun along the way. In the end, that is what it is to really win.

66) “Don't have no regrets.”

The above points are all from the book I read...

Book: - HOW TO WIN AT COLLEGE: - surprising secrets from the country's top student's

Author: - CAL NEWPORT

Anime forever ✌

[almightyellie]

WHAT ABOUT being professor lee's ta and you guys became really close friends, always together around campus (maybe you guys haven't crossed the line yet, but def some interesting thoughts) and one day he hears someone shit talking you "no wonder she's his favorite student from the way she licks his boots!" and gets really protective of you and all 😧

ugh what i wouldn’t give for prof!gwil to be protective of me

maybe its odd that your best friend is your professor, and maybe it’s a little weird that it’s mutual, and maybe it was inappropriate that you had established the feelings between the two of you, but that was how it seemed to be. gwilym was rough around the edges, that was no secret. but those kinds of teachers had always been your favorites. it was no wonder that you had wiggled your way into his heart so quickly. your sharp wit and bold attitude were easy for him to adore—you were the first student who hadn’t feared him, and had instead openly challenged him. no one had ever done that before, and it had confounded him; the first time it happened, he had been absolutely speechless. you had marched in his office and demanded that he tell you why you hadn’t gotten a perfect grade on your essay, not faltering for even a second.

he had stumbled over his words and given you a half-assed explanation, and you had made sure to tell him so. after, you sat at the chair in front of his desk, revised the essay, and asked him to read it again. that moment, both of you knew, had flipped a switch in your relationship. somehow, you had weaseled your way past gwilym’s unapproachable countenance and found yourself an easy friend. it wasn’t a secret that you were his favorite student, oftentimes the only one he liked. as brave as you were with him, you were shy in the classroom, and he’d do anything to help you shine a little light on the rest of the class, even if it meant annoying you by calling you out.

today, however, was not one of those days. you didn’t have his class this morning, but you had a physics lecture that lasted until about 11:30, after which you would come to his office and complain about both the course material and your professor, and he’d hide his smile and pretend that he wasn’t just admiring you, nodding along as you ranted. his class was let out at eleven, which gave him just enough time to get coffee for you both from the shop on campus on his way to his office.

so, he stops by on his way, his lips turned down slightly at the cold but otherwise in a good mood. no one calls his name as he walks across campus, which is just the way he likes it, which further uplifts him as he pushes the door of the coffee shop open and steps inside, sighing in relief as he got out of the brisk weather.

behind the counter, a girl he taught the semester before looks up at him with a shy smile. “hi, professor lee. what can i get for you today?” he spares her a smile and rattles off the order he’s memorized, one for you and one for him, and he pays before stepping off to the side, waiting for his name to be called.

he spots a group at a table near him, a few faces he recognizes but one that he doesn’t, and he turns away from them, sighing softly and checking his watch. you aren’t due out of your lecture for another ten minutes, which gives him the perfect window to get settled in his office before you arrive. he forces away a smile at the simple thought.

“he totally fancies her,” one of the group laughs, and gwil rolls his eyes at how juvenile they sound, shuffling on his feet as he waits.

“completely. it’s no wonder y/n’s the only one passing his class, he’s practically starstruck by her every day.” his ears perk up at the sound of your name and he frowns. he can’t blame anyone for being starstruck by you, but he also can’t help but feel curious.

“hey, let’s give her some credit. i’m sure grading papers isn’t the only thing she’s doing for lee,” someone snorts. gwilym feels his muscles seize up in anger, whipping his head over to glare at them and before he can help it, he sticks his hands in his pockets and walks slowly up to their table, feigning indifference as he glances out the window. one look down at them shows horror all over each of their faces, and he smiles smally.

ponderously, he sighs, “some of you could afford to get in with your professors. it’s no wonder that y/n has the highest grade in my class; it’s because she communicates with me and worries about her own work rather than being too afraid to look me in the eye and passing the same paper around for her friends to copy. i hope you’ll take her as an example as opposed to this juvenile talking behind her back.” as if on cue, he hears the barista call his name, and he smiles coldly down at them. “i’ll be seeing you in lecture, then.” he nods, turning on his heel and grabbing his drinks from the counter.

by the time he gets to his office, his anger has faded, for the most part, just leaving him annoyed. you’re already waiting for him outside the door, picking at a fraying string on your jeans before you smile up at him. “hey.”

“hello,” he huffs, handing you a drink with a brisk, “for you,” before he was digging in his bag for his keys.

you frown. “what’s wrong?”

he sighs, shaking his head. “do you think we’re too close?” he asks, unlocking the door and letting you in. you raise a brow in question and he flops in his chair, pursing his lips. “i just heard some students talking and...i don’t know.”

you roll your eyes, sitting down. “i hear that shit from them all the time.” he looks at you in shock and you chuckle, sipping your drink and shrugging. “what? you’re surprised?”

“i just wish you would have told me, is all,” he shakes his head. “i mean, they know that’s not...allowed, right? we could never get away with that,” he trails off, looking at you as he played with the cup in his hands nervously.

you smile sadly, setting your chin in the palm of your hand. “no, we couldn’t.”

he sighs again, looking down at his hands. “but we never know what the future holds.”

and this time when you smile, it isn’t sad. it’s hopeful. “i suppose we don’t.”

maybe someday, you both agreed. but for the time being, you two were confined to laughing in his office and sharing furtive glances over cups of coffee. that was okay for now.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

You’re still the smartest girl I know; John Deacon x daughter teen reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys wow my final crunch time at college has kept me REALLY busy with all these final projects that I need to do, so my thanksgiving break is gonna be INSANE with doing all this work that I need to do BUT the good news is is that I had this request done in my downtime that I had, so to the anon who requested this awhile back, I’m SOOO SORRY for getting it to you so late but I hope you love it either way.

I also have updates on a few of my series so I may end up making a post about my writing updates and what all I plan to work on to try and get more organized with all that I have to do. So I’ve got two updates for you guys so I hope you all like this fic.

Warnings: school, mild angst, failing school, FLUFF, Dad!Deacy (cause let’s face it its a warning because he’s FREAKIN ADORABLE!!!) and my unknown knowledge of how Catholic schools work, so if I’m wrong about something, PLEASE send me a comment or an inbox to correct it. 

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@waddles03​

@queendeakyy​

@platawnic​

@kairosfreddie​

___________________________________________________________

I just don’t get it.  My dad graduated with 8 GCE O level and 3 A level in electronics, he’s designed his own amp, and helps with not only the family finances but the band finances too. He’s the smartest guy I know and I share half of his genius, or at least I should.  

I needed to sustain at least a 3.50 average to stay in my current Catholic secondary school but with my failing classes I’m barely at a 2.50.  It’s not that I don’t try to do the work I do the homework and attend the lectures, it’s just that some of my classes like Geometry and Ancient religions, the teachers make the assignments so confusing.

Even when I would write the papers, they always found something to pick at and I end up with either C’s or even D’s on my papers, even when I would stay up all night skimming through book after book to get the required aspects they ask for. Also their quizzes and exams are so unfair, they would tell us this or that would be on the test, but by the time the test came around, absolutely NONE of the stuff they said would be on it, is on it. Hell they’ve put things down that we haven’t even learned yet.

It was currently Fall break and I spending some time with my family for the holiday trying to get my mind off of school.  I was watching over my brothers rough house in the backyard.  God they were so lucky they don’t have to deal with the harsh school life just yet.

“So (y/n) how’s school going love?” I heard my mum say.  I quickly looked up at her and said quickly.

“School’s fine.” She looked at me skeptically.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah mum, everything’s fine.” Then fortunately saved by the bell, the doorbell rang and I immediately shot up and said. “I’ll get it!” I quickly raced to the front door and cracked it open.  And there at the door was the mail carrier.  He took out of his bag our mail for the day and he said.

“Here’s your mail ma��am.”

“Thanks Gardner, have a good day.” I said.  He nodded and walked off the curb and continued down the road with his route. I closed the door and skimmed through the mail.  Most of it was bills, some Queen stuff for dad to sign and look over, but then there was a letter from the school sent to me.  At this point my heart was racing.

“Who was that?” Oh shit dad.  I turned around to see him coming down the stairs holding my baby sister who had probably just woken up from her nap.

“Oh just the mail. Mostly bills this time, but then again what else is new. And there’s some Queen stuff for you to look over dad.” I handed him most of the mail but kept the letter from London University for me.

“Well what’s that?”

“What? Oh this oh it’s just junk mail. Something about 20% interest rate on life insurance from a different company. Damn things are just scams anyway. I’ll shred it dad.” I walked up and kissed his cheek then my baby sister before racing upstairs.

As soon as I reached my room, I closed the door and locked it and leaned against it in a panic.  Nervously I opened up the envelope and it read the worst thing I could imagine.

To Miss (Y/n) (M/n) Deacon,

It has come to our attention of your low grades. It is required that your parents come in for a meeting with the Headmaster in regards to your low grades.

At that point my mind went blank as I ignored all that the letter said.  Tears formed in my eyes.  Goddamnit why did they send this letter? Cause first comes the letter, then the phone calls will follow.  I’ve tried so hard to keep my struggles in school away from my parents because I didn’t want them to get involved, that all I needed to do was try better since that’s all teachers seem to push onto me, if not then I’ll make it up in summer school.  

I just wanted to prove that I was as smart as my dad is.

So I hide the letter in the folds of my diary knowing that my parents don’t go snooping around it and putting it in the secret place where I know my snoopy brothers can’t get to it (thank god I change places every week) and tried to forget about it.  It was then a knock was heard at my door.

“(Y/n)? Poppet is everything okay in there?”

“Uhh—yeah dad everything’s fine.”

“Then why is your door locked?”

“I’m changing clothes dad, I’m meeting Stacy and Courtney for a movie later tonight.” There was a brief moment of silence before he said.

“Alright but at least unlock it. We’ve talked about this before, plus your brothers think girls are gross so I doubt they’d pop in on their sister changing.”

“Okay dad sorry.” Thank god he bought it.  I then went over to my phone and tried to make my lie seem real as I called both Stacy and Courtney to meet me at the theater in 15min.

Thankfully since it was the weekend, my parents let me go out later than usual so long as I was back before ten.  My dad gave me some money for the tickets and food and we kissed each other goodbye and I drove off to the theater.

I soon met my two best friends and we decided to just walk around the mall instead going to see a movie.  It was there I told the girls everything.  As they were trying on new stuff from a new store called The Gap, I said to them.

“What am I gonna do girls?”

“Well you know me girl, if I were you I’d just come clean.” Said Courtney.

“Are you crazy?! No way can she tell them about this. Okay chick this is what you do. You answer any calls the school makes and come up with any and every excuse you’ve got.” Stacy said as she peeked over her changing room into Courtney’s.

“Stace, no offense but your parents may buy into that but I’ve met her mum and dad and they aren’t stupid like yours are.”

“Yeah you got a point. Hell I could go to prison for murder and my parents wouldn’t care.”

“Guys hello! Back to me.” I begged.

“Sorry. Well looks like your screwed chickadee.”

“Oh gee thanks Stace.”

“Look (y/n). All I can tell you is that you won’t be able to hide this forever. Just—show them the note and tell them the truth. I’m sure they’ll understand if you explain it to them. And I can back you up about Mr. Crowley. Guy’s a right up arsehole if you ask me. Gave me -20 points because I used the wrong citation for the Bibliography page. And it was only one source that was labeled wrong” Said Courtney.

“Yeah and our Geometry teacher Miss. Ringo, I can barely understand what she’s saying with that thick Dutch accent of hers. Gave me a 30% on our last exam.”

“That’s because all you did was doodle and call her an old bat.” I said bluntly.

“Oh yeah. But oh man you should’ve seen the look on her face on the last homework assignment we had.”

“I don’t even wanna know.” Said Courtney.

“Trust me you don’t.” I vouched.

“Hey come on, let’s forget about school, get you to try on some clothes. We’ll go to the food court and get your mind off of things. Sound good?” Stacy said as she came out wearing a new jean jacket with suspenders underneath.  I nodded and said with a smile.

“Thanks guys, you’re the best friends I could ask for.”

“Hey divas in diapers remember? The three musketeers. The triple threat angelz.”

“With a Z because…..”

“We’re bad bitches!” we all exclaimed as we held our right hands out in a fist touching each other’s in a triangle shape.  And so that’s how it was, the girls helped me get my mind off of the letter and the stress of school with a good Girl’s day out.

A couple days later I was back in school in my Ancient Religions class. Mr. Crowley of course barely allowed any time for me to fully write down what he had on the board because he immediately went to the next thing.  He never once asked if anyone had any questions and if someone stopped him, he’d slam the ruler down on the student’s desk and either ask them to meet him after class, or just give them detention.

“Alright students; I’m going to give you your final assignment for the semester for you to do just before winter break.” Everyone groaned.  He had just give us a 10 page paper on how Christianity as a whole effected the Global conquest, and now he’s giving us another essay to do. “Hey, hey, hey, hey! No complaints you miscreants!”

But just before he could continue, the intercom beeped above us.

“Mr. Crowley?”

“Yes?” he said annoyedly.

“Will you please send Miss. Deacon into the office.”

“She’s on her way.”

“Thank you.”

“(Y/n) Deacon.” At that point everyone but Courtney all made the ‘oooo busted’ vocals. I flipped them off as Mr. Crowley made me my hall pass so that I wouldn’t get caught by a teacher patrolling the halls.  I grabbed my bag and left the classroom.

I walked down the second floor staircase, down to the main level and turned towards the entrance where the main office was.  I walked in and I said.

“I’m (Y/n) Deacon. I was told to come here from Mr. Crowley’s class.” The receptionist said.

“Ahh yes Miss. Deacon. The Headmaster would like to speak with you.” Oh shit. This is probably about that letter.  I swallowed nervously and hung my bag further up my shoulder and walked down the corridor towards the Headmaster’s office.  It felt like the walkway was getting longer as I walked towards that dreaded office room, that was until finally I arrived at it.

Slowly I reached up and knocked on it.  There was a brief period of silence before a low voice said.

“Come in.” I opened the door and there standing at the grand desk was Headmaster Byron.  He was a fairly older man (if I had to make a guess I’d say currently around Miami’s age). He was a bit—you now stout shape wise. He was going bald and he wore glasses over his hazel eyes. “Ahh Miss. Deacon please sit down.” I walked in and nervously sat down at the chair in front of me.

“You—wanted to see me sir?”

“Yes. I’ve called you down here regarding a letter I had sent over the fall break. I expected to hear a call from your parents but I hadn’t heard anything back from them. Is there a problem?” Oh god what do I say to him?

“Well I—I guess the mail service was just a little slow. Because we haven’t received the letter just yet.”

“Hmm well that’s unusual. Usually the mail service is properly on time. I mean at least we’re more organized than the American system at least to my knowledge.”

“Yeah guess they must’ve lost it.” I said nervously fiddling with my fingers, anxiously picking at my nails.

“In that case; I can send you with another copy of the letter. But if I don’t hear anything within 24hours expect the first phone call.” I nodded as he handed me the same letter that I had gotten in the mail over the break.  I thanked him and quickly headed out of the office. On my way back to class I ripped the letter up into as many pieces as I could before discarding it into the nearest bin and returned to class like nothing happened.

After school I was in my room trying to make sense of the math homework I had to deal with and that’s when a knock was heard at my open door.  I looked up and there stood my mum.

“Hey love. So you’re dad’s working late tonight with the band so I’m ordering a pizza for dinner. What would you like on yours?”

“Get me a full cheese and my toppings are sausage and pepperoni.”

“You got it. Doing homework?” I nodded solemnly. “Which class is it for?”

“Geometry.”

“Oh yeah, I remember taking that class. Hardest thing I ever knew. In fact all math was difficult for me. Thank god for your dad though, he was always better at finances than I was. That’s how we met as a matter of fact, I was struggling with my Algebra homework and he offered to help me since we were in the same class together.” Lucky her that she at least had dad to help her, meanwhile I on the other hand had absolutely no one to help me.

Everyone was in it for themselves, not even the teacher was willing to give us tutoring sessions if we didn’t get any of the stuff taught in class. He just expected us to memorize and do everything correctly.

“Say, speaking of geometry did you get the midterm results back yet?” Oh god that’s right. Dad actually skipped out on Queen rehearsals to help tutor me for the upcoming fall midterm exam.

Unfortunately for all that hard work, nothing we had practiced was on the midterm, half the stuff was gibberish to me so I just wrote random answers that I could and I ended up with an F.

“He uhh—he got super busy grading our other stuff that he didn’t have time to look over the midterms. But he said hopefully in the next week or two he’ll get to it.”

“Are you sure?” I nodded and she looked at me skeptically.

“Okay, if you say so. I’ll call you when dinner arrives okay?”

“Sounds good mum. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She kissed the top of my head and left my room.  I turned away and tossed my books and homework off my bed and buried my face into my bedsheets and softly began to cry.

Why? Why does this have to happen to me?! Why can’t I just get the damn work? Why do I have to be such a fucking idiot!?!?

Days passed and I still didn’t have the heart to tell my parents that I was failing school.  And when the phone started ringing I tried to make an effort to try and answer it before they did, fearing that it was the school.

Some calls it was to which I would make excuses for the school and then tell my mum and dad that it was just boring telemarketers trying to sell us stuff. Other times it’d be Uncle Freddie or uncle Roger calling for Deacy about some Queen business stuff (and of course I chatted with them, I’ve known them ever since I was a baby, plus Freddie was my godfather—or I should say fairy godmother).

But it wasn’t until one day when I came home from an afterschool football game Stacy and Courtney invited me to, that I would pay dearly for the lie that I had been trying to keep.

“Yeah I know and when Bobby finally scored the winning goal I swear it was a one and a million shot he got that!” Stacy exclaimed as we got out of her car and walked up my driveway before stopping at the gate.

“I tell you you’ve got one lucky man right there Stace. Your boy’s gonna go far in football.” Said Courtney.

“All I know is that for the first time in decades our school is finally in the playoffs and that we might have a shot of winning the district championship since 1971.” I said.

“Well we definitely have the best team to get us there. Not to mention the cutest.” Courtney said before snickering towards the end.

“I’ll drink to that.” I said taking a shot of my water.

“(Y/n). Can you come in here please?” I looked up to see my dad standing there by the door.  His arms crossed over his chest and I could tell something was wrong.

“Yeah dad I’ll be right there. See you girls Monday then?”

“We’ll save you a seat at the cafeteria before homeroom.” The girls then walked back to the car and they drove off.  I opened the gate and trotted up the stairs before standing in front of him.

“Is something wrong dad?”

“Come in the house and let’s talk.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and guided me inside.  As we walked through the house towards the kitchen, I could feel the tension in the air. It was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.  My mum sat there at the kitchen table looking distraught almost. “Have a seat.” Okay now I was getting a little freaked out.

I sat down and that’s when dad stood behind mum placing his hands on her shoulders.

“(Y/n), has something been going on at school that you’re not telling us?” asked my mum concerned.

“No—why do you ask?”

“Well we caught Robert and Michael reading your diary and—”

“They what!? MICHAEL! ROBERT GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE BUGGERS!!!”

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Language and lower that tone in your voice!” dad snapped at me. “We handled the boys, but it was then we found this.” He took something out of his pocket before unfolding it and placing it down right in front of me on the table.  My heart sunk and my throat grew dry.

It was the first letter sent in by my school.

“So we called the school and they said they’ve been trying to get in touch with us. And that you said we didn’t receive any letter the first time around so the Headmaster gave you a second letter.” Mum stated more in an interrogating tone than the concerned tone she had earlier.

“Have you really been failing your classes? And this time don’t. Lie. To us.”

“No!” I exclaimed.

“They said you’re barely holding a 2.50 GPA.”

“Well I—I just….I don’t mean to I-I-I-I….the teachers they’re…..” I kept rambling as I felt tears in my eyes and my throat clenched. “I don’t get why I’m being target.”

“The better question is why did you lie to us!? You’ve known about your grades for what weeks? And you lied to us every time a grade was mentioned! Do you have any idea the level of betrayal you’ve given to me and your mother!?” my dad’s voice slowly raised up in anger.

I tucked away in fear at his intimidating voice.  He rarely and I say this with a big emphasis that my dad rarely gets mad, but when he does—oh god help us all.  I didn’t answer.  Couldn’t answer him.

“(Y/n) (m/n) Deacon answer me when I’m talking to you!” he snapped.  I looked up fearfully and ashamed and I did the only thing that was running through my mind.

Run.

I got up and as quick as I could I raced out of the house and down the street.  I fucked up. I know, but at this point it was too late. Just seeing my dad get angry with me, I knew he hated me now.

I ran all the way down the street and turned left and ran towards old widow Johannsson’s back garden.  I opened the gate that stood around her AC vent and locked the door so that no one could open it.  I leaned against the corner of the gate and just sobbed as hard as I could.

All of my fears and sorrow came out as I wept hysterically and choked on my sobs, that’s when I heard my dad’s voice calling out my name.  I held my hand over my mouth to try and keep quiet as his voice got louder and louder.  I soon saw him through the cracks in the fence as he looked around.  Unfortunately a sniffle just had to come out and soon dad turned towards the fence.

“(Y/n)?”

“Please just go away and let me cry in peace.” I choked out.

“That’s not going to happen, now c’mon open the gate.”

“No you—you already hate me.” He scoffed out a sigh.

“Wha—what makes you think I hate you?” he asked in disbelief.

“You only yell when you hate someone. And now you hate me. You hate me that I lied to you. You hate me for keeping secrets. And you hate me because I’m stupid.”

“Hello? What—what is going on out here?” widow Johansson came out on top of her deck and looked down towards us.

“I’m sorry Valarie but—could you give us a few minutes?” she must’ve looked down and saw me because that’s when she slowly backed off and allowed my dad to talk to me again. “(Y/n), love I—I don’t hate you. Yeah I’m upset because you lied to your mum and I but I could never, ever hate you.”

“But you do dad don’t deny it. I kept this from you and you’ll never forgive me. You’ll never love me again because I’m a stupid bitch who can’t understand anything!”

“First of all you are not a stupid bitch. You are a brilliant, smart, beautiful young girl. And I will always love you no matter what.”

“Stop saying that. Please just go away please…..” I trailed off before pleading out one last time. “Please.” With that I didn’t hear another response from him as I continued to softly weep.  I could hear footsteps walking up widow Johansson’s back deck and then the back door closed.  I looked up and saw my dad as well as widow Johansson gone.  I wiped my tears and just curled myself into a ball.

I don’t know how much time passed but I knew it wasn’t long, maybe 5-7 minutes because the next thing I hear are footsteps walking back down the deck and my dad sitting himself down against the gate.  It was then I heard a guitar being strummed before a familiar tune was being played.

It was strange to hear it on guitar instead of an electric piano like it was on the record but the tune was easily recognizable, especially when my dad softly began singing the lyrics.  And sure he didn’t have as good a voice as my uncles did but—he still made the song count.

Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had I've been with you such a long time You're my sunshine and I want you to know That my feelings are true I really love you Oh, you're my best friend

While it is true that my dad wrote this song for my mum back when a Night at the Opera came out, he also written it for me as well.  Because when he first played it for us, he said he wanted a song dedicated to his favorite girls.  

So taking the electric piano he practiced and practiced till he knew how to play the tune and since then the song’s been like a comforting lullaby to me.  And he’s played and sung it to me ever since.

Ooh, you make me live Whenever this world is cruel to me I got you to help me forgive Ooh, you make me live now honey Ooh, you make me live

You're the first one When things turn out bad You know I'll never be lonely You're my only one And I love the things I really love the things that you do Oh, you're my best friend

Ooh, you make me live

I'm happy at home You're my best friend

He stopped playing and slightly turned towards me.  I wiped away my tears and just like it always did, it made me stop crying.

“Guess I still got it huh?”

“Shut up.” I muttered which made him softly chuckle.

“Can you please open the gate love? Let me see my best friend.” He asked.  I slowly scooted towards the gate and slowly reached for the handle.  I held onto it for a while and I pulled one side down which caused the other side to lift up.  The gate slowly opened and there sitting a few feet away from me was my dad.  “There she is.”

I sniffled and wiped away the tearstains but I was still afraid to look him in the eye for more than a second.  I felt his hand cup the side of my face wiping away the tears.

“Do you think you can talk to me now?” I nodded. “Okay. Now (y/n) please explain to me why you lied to us about your grades?”

“Because I—I wanted to prove myself.”

“Prove yourself about what?”

“That I could be as smart as you. You’re the smartest man I know and you never seem to get stumped about anything. You graduates college with the highest in your major, you’ve built your own amps from old junk, and you handle both our finances as well as the bands. But—the schoolwork I’m given is so beyond hard. I tried my best dad it’s not that I don’t do the homework because I do. I really do, it’s just that…..”

“Hey, hey poppet. Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay.” I sniffled and harshly wiped my tears away but my dad stopped me and replaced my thick sleeve with his gentle but calloused fingers.  “I know you do the homework. I’ve seen you do it and so has your mum.”

“But the teachers make it so unfair to learn. They say this or that will be on the test but then something we haven’t even learned yet is what ends up as majority of the questions. Or they’re not consistent with what they want on the papers before giving us a bigger paper the next day after the previous one. Dad I—I’m a failure. And I didn’t want you to be ashamed of having a stupid daughter like me.”

“Oh (y/n),” he scooted closer to me and cupped both sides of my face forcing me to look up at him with teary eyes. “I am in no way, nor will I ever be ashamed to have you as my daughter. You’re my first baby girl and I love you soo much. You don’t have to be a genius like me to be my daughter, because you are smart in your own clever way.”

“But I—I’m failing my classes, how can I be smart when I’m failing?”

“You’re still trying, are you not?” I shrugged.

“I guess.”

“Then that proves your smart. Oh my sweet girl I wish you had come to me about this sooner instead of feeling like you had to hide this from me.”

“I’m sorry daddy.” I softly choked out.

“It’s okay love. Now come here, you deserve cuddles and kisses right now.” I immediately fell into his arms and buried myself into his shoulder.  He rubbed my back in soothing circles and stroked through my hair. “We’ll get this sorted out okay? But promise me that you’ll never lie to us about school again, okay?”

“I promise…..never again.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And they did just that.  I showed my parents everything regarding exams, homework and showed just how unfair the work was for me.  I showed them my notes and told them what my teachers were really like.

The next day they scheduled a meeting with the headmaster and they talked about how the teachers are treating me and my fellow classmates unfairly with too much work and not unfair teachings of not asking for help.

Now one would think after telling you this I got off scot-free right? Wrong. I was grounded for the same amount of time that I had lied to my parents about school, so that meant over a week and a half of no TV, no after school activities and no phone privileges.

But after getting the teachers fired and currently dealing with substitutes for the rest of the year, whenever dad wasn’t busy with Queen; he made a promise to sit down with me and if there was anything I was stuck on, he’d help me with it. No matter how long it took.

[owenshire]

Robert Muhlbock (virtually) Inducts Nine Inch Nails into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2020

Nine Inch Nails. One band, and often one man, with a computer (and guitar) against the world. Oh yes, Nine Inch Nails have added members for live performances and gained members (well, a member) for studio compositions, but from this “band-like-musical-entity’s” earliest days, it was just one person—one person who combined pop-hooks with industrial whirs, and harrowing rage with uncomfortable vulnerability. And his name is Trent Reznor.  

No one should claim that Nine Inch Nails invented a genre. They didn’t. But they sure as hell popularized and perfected it. Electronic, Industrial, ‘Disco Death Metal’—whatever you want to call it, the labels don’t really matter.  In fact, I think the genre should just be called “sounds like Nine Inch Nails” which is compliment enough on its own, right?  

Nine Inch Nails are one of the most important, vital, inspirational, talented, and unique of musical artists. I love them. And now I’m going to tell you why…in a lengthy video essay, so settle in.  And if you don’t have the fandom or attention span for what I’m about to say, go back to consuming shitty tweets and dumbfuck Instagram posts because you’re not wanted here anyway.

                            _______________________________

My first introduction to NIN began like so many others: by catching the iconic video for “Head Like A Hole” on MTV—the band rocking out amidst electrical wires and magnetic tape, until it seemed like the entire writhing mess would consume them whole.  It’s an image as potent today as it was some 30 years ago.

However, my real introduction to NIN was originally steeped in urban legend. I was in grade 10 and I heard Pretty Hate Machine played on my school bus on the way home. The owner of this cassette tape, a “cool girl” who shall remain nameless, told me that the album was “out of print” and “unavailable.” In short, she assured me that I would never be able to find a copy, but, guess what, I did.

In a trade with former MMA coach Shawn Tompkins—and in my grade 10 art class no less—I swapped two ninja stars for a box of his old cassette tapes, and Pretty Hate Machine was one of them. This was my own NINJA moment, if you will—does anyone get that reference—anyway, upon witnessing said trade some random guy in my art class immediately offered me $25 for the Pretty Hate Machine cassette tape—a king’s ransom in 1990—but of course I wouldn’t sell. I knew it was valuable—and in more than one way. Instead I played the hell out of the cassette in my Walkman. I was 14 years old. “Terrible Lie” was my favourite song from the album. And it still is.

And then—poof—like that, NIN dropped out of my life. Where’d they go? Well, I guess they were making a name for themselves during Lollapalooza 1991, white chalk dust and all. Not that I knew any of this. Pre-internet I had no idea what was going on.  In fact, I wouldn’t hear any new NIN music until almost a full year later when one of my friends with a penchant for industrial music introduced me to the Broken EP. As he handed me his CD for borrowing, he warned me that it was “pretty extreme.” And he was right. The Broken EP is why album warning stickers were invented: it was a fist to the face, a kick to the face—it was even an ass to the face.

Anyway, the Broken EP was my real introduction to the seemingly bottomless rage of NIN. When I heard Broken I was just starting to get into so-called “heavy” music, but nothing could have prepared me for the lyrical and musical brutality of “Wish.” While Reznor’s litany of profanity was extreme—at least to my sheltered 16 year old ears—what truly staggered me was the song’s main riff (you know the one I mean) the one that is so distorted, so disturbing, that it sounds like a guitar being burned alive while flailing in a wind tunnel.

I’d never heard anything like it before—it wasn’t cock-rock; it wasn’t fake satanic rage done for laughs, theatre or to impress--no. Instead it was the audio embodiment of complete destruction and utter despair. And 30 years later, it’s lost none of its power.

                          __________________________________

These same sentiments must be applied to The Downward Spiral, Nine Inch Nail’s career defining work that launched the band into mainstream success. Too often discussions of the record get bogged down by emphasis on “Hurt” or “Closer,” or, to some extent, “Heresy.”

Yes, “Hurt” is the perfect album closer and expression of pleading vulnerability, and, yes, “Closer” and “Heresy’s” choruses were brutally raw and shocking in 1994 (and, it should be said, still above average shocking  in 2020), but I feel the album is best presented as a whole. This was the beginning of NIN’s discovery that (to paraphrase one rock critic) just as much tension can be generated with a whisper as with a scream.

Dynamics have always been a huge part of NIN’s’ sound, and The Downward Spiral stands as a defining moment.  The album, as all of you know, begins with “Mr. Self Destruct” (well, that’s not entirely true—the album actually begins with the audio of what appears to be a man being beaten to death while submerged underwater)—but anyway, “Mr. Self Destruct” was as sonically astonishing to me as “Wish” was two years prior. As I listened to the verses of “Mr. Self Destruct” I kept asking myself “Is it supposed to sound like this? I can’t hear what he’s saying”—it was such a cacophony of meticulously detailed and layered noises, but of course not without substance or a melody: its quiet refrain of “And I control you” buried so deep in the mix, it mirrored the subconscious itself.  

“Mr. Self Destruct” gives way to “Piggy”—again a haunting track that’s almost tender and such a shock in sequence given the song that preceded it. Again. Dynamics. Surprise. Making the atypical typical in the best non-traditional way. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I felt the same way about the mini-piano solo/ lyric pairing of “now doesn’t it make you feel better” before the dramatic pause in “March Of The Pigs”—I don’t think any of us saw THAT coming. I was literally shocked when that phrasing appeared out of no where, emerging like a tiny ironic rainbow out of the whirlwind of thrashing drums, crazy guitars, and “stains like blood on your teeth” screams the preceded it.  

Speaking of screams, the title-track of The Downward Spiral still stands as a monument to vulnerability, despair, and pure abject horror. It’s the only song I’ve ever heard that I am afraid to listen to. When I listen to The Downward Spiral, I wait for the song the way a child hides behind a blanket awaiting glimpses of a film monster: I know it’s coming, and I know it’s going to be horrifying…and it always is. So why do I subject myself to it?

                                     ______________________

That’s a fair question. Let’s be frank here: Nine Inch Nails isn’t for everyone. It takes a certain personality to fully appreciate the band’s complete package of black, blue, and bleeding, “but you can dance to it!” Still, NIN is more than mere nihilism and hopelessness. Those who label the band in such ways, kind of miss the point. To me, NIN has always been—lyrically at least—about catharsis: I suppose ALL music functions as such—a tool of understanding, and a mechanism for coping. Trent Reznor once commented on the vulnerability of his lyrics, saying in an interview with NPR that his topic of choice was less about vanity than it was about delivering a performance with honesty and integrity. The only topic that mattered—his emotional struggle—was the only subject he could speak about with authority and with conviction.

However, it just so happens to be a struggle that millions of other people share. When Trent Reznor sings “Now you know/ this is what it feels like” on The Fragile’s “The Wretched,” he is inviting his audience to share in his pain. Whether he intended it this way or not, his is a gesture borne or isolation but ending in comradery: many of us certainly know what “this” “feels like.” And many, many more of us can certainly relate to the words “Dear World, I can hardly recognize you anymore.”

In short, Trent Reznor’s lyrics, as personal as they are, speak for us: his fans. He speaks for me. He still does.

Interestingly, themes consistent in NIN’s best work offer a type of almost emotional ambivalence: caring, but not caring; wanting to be helped, yet rejecting help; and most importantly, wanting to be alone, yet desperately wishing to connect with others. The songs “We’re In This Together” and “The Fragile” perfectly illustrate these sentiments.   To me, it is no coincidence they are sequenced side by side on the “some-critics-didn’t-like-it-at-the-time-but-have-since-come-to-their-senses-album” The Fragile.

                                      _________________

Musically, however, NIN is best known for three distinct styles of music: computer chaos, groovy beats, and symphonic soundscapes. I’ve touched on the first—and will return to it—but for now, let’s discuss the second. I’m not a huge fan of the term “death-disco”; however, NIN’s long list of ass-shaking beats, should not be overlooked. What began on Pretty Hate Machine with “Sin” and “The Only Time,” pleasantly resurface on “Into The Void” only to be perfected on “The Hand That Feeds,” “Only” “Capital G,” and “Discipline” not to mention a large portion of Hesitation Marks.

But back to computer chaos—or maybe just chaos in general. I can think of no better example to illustrate my point than the final coda to the song “The Great Destroyer” on the fabulous dystopian opus Year Zero—one of my favourite albums of all time: the sound of things falling apart—wires frayed, systems destroyed, screens cracked: static humming and ‘please stand by’ messages flicking forever. The Eater of Dreams. “All we ever were—just zeros and ones.”  

                                           ____________________

The final cornerstone of NIN’s musical contribution is soundscapes and instrumentals, and what a can of worms THAT is given all that’s transpired since 2011.  Anyway, when The Fragile was released in 1999, more than a few fans bemoaned its inclusion of no less than 7 instrumentals, and yet these contributions have always been a signature addition to NIN’s body of work: from “pinion,” “help me I am in hell,” “a warm place,” the deeply personal “La Mer,” to Ghosts I through VI, NIN’s experiments with sound have always been integral to their songwriting process—a willingness to experiment and a love of discovery which surprisingly, yet somewhat inevitably, lead to NIN’s work in soundtracks. Beginning somewhat inadvertently with Tony Scott’s Man On Fire (look it up), and then deliberately on the video game Quake, this creative direction eventually resulted in (as we all know) various Oscar and Emmy nominations and wins for Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and yeah, while technically not “Nine Inch Nails” releases, I think we can all agree it’s hard to separate the two sometimes because as we all know, the line begins to blur, amiright?  

The point is this: Nine Inch Nails were and are no strangers to pushing boundaries musically, visually, and artistically. Some defining unconventional moments in the band’s career to me are as follows:

·  The 97 one-second tracks on the Broken EP before its final two songs; the infamous Broken film itself—a movie I found on a bootlegged VHS tape and rented for a mere 1 dollar at the time—and then proceeded to wish that I never did.

·  Moving on, there is of course the band’s seminal 1994 Woodstock performance, where the musicians arrived on stage in a foggy haze, caked head to toe in mud, and bringing the apocalypse with them;

·  Next we have the Alternate Reality Game developed around the release of Year Zero,

·  There was the free download of The Slip; and the free downloads of Ghosts V and VI some years later

·  Who could also forget about the NINREMIX website where fans were invited to remix the band’s songs and post them for all to enjoy, and copyright be damned.

·  Um, there was also that time they said “a heartfelt fuck you” to the Grammy’s.  

·   And finally we have Nine Inch Nail’s unexpected live appearance on the rather toned down Austin City Limits.

And the list goes on. Trent Reznor once explained such actions in the most self-aware terms possible: he likes pushing himself (as well as his fans) out of comfort zones, to flirt with mainstream conventions but to approach and execute them as only Nine Inch Nails can: with integrity and—to borrow Trent’s appraisal of the late David Bowie—“uncompromising vision.”      

                               _______________________________

Speaking of integrity and uncompromising vision, NIN’s humility is one of the band’s most inspiring and endearing characteristics. In Reznor’s case, we’re talking about an accomplished artist who admitted publically that he still feels he has so much to learn about his craft—that he’s barely scratched the surface regarding his mastery of sound and songwriting; a man that mocked his own starry eyed expression upon receiving an Oscar by pairing it with the caption “I see unicorns” and inviting fans to provide similar self-deprecating taglines.  A man who speaks in measured tones about his opportunities and successes in his life—and does so, repeatedly I might add, quietly, humbly, and gratefully.  

Such self-awareness is extremely rare in show-business let alone by a band that’s achieved as much as Nine Inch Nails.

And guess what? Here’s the thing. I think there’s no stopping them. With Nine Inch Nails—particularly, Trent and Atticus no matter what they call themselves and until they are inducted into the IHOR as solo artists, anything’s possible:  

·  Scoring a children’s movie? The upcoming Pixar film Soul? Why not? Let’s have some more. Give me a children’s album!

·  Creating a vintage jazz ballad (the unparalleled “The Way It Used to Be”) in a week and making it indistinguishable from other songs of the era? Of course!

·  Winning a Tony Award to become part of the EGOT club—I say sure. In fact, prediction: before the end of the world (so basically, in about 30 years) Nine Inch Nails will get an EGOT.  There. Prove me wrong.

                                       ______________________

In 1997 Spin Magazine once hailed Trent Reznor as “the most vital artist in music today,” while in that same year Trent Reznor appeared on Time Magazine’s list of the top 25 most influential Americans.

These accolades were well earned; however, I prefer a statement made by some music magazine critic whose name escapes me in their review of a Nine Inch Nails album whose name also escapes me: they said, “we can only hope something else pisses him off,” sentiments which I’m sure are echoed by many, and to which I reply…there seems to be no worry about that.

                                      ____________________          

Nine Inch Nails encompass a facet of popular art that is as necessary as it is compulsory: they remind us that the world is not pleasant; tragedy is inevitable; the game is rigged; faith is a lie; and everyone you know will abandon or disappoint you.

But guess what? If you’re lucky, the way out is through, motherfuckers.

I am honoured to induct Nine Inch Nails into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  

[birdlord]

Every Book I Read in 2019

This was a heavier reading year for me (heavier culture-consumption year in general) partly because my partner started logging his books read, and then, of course, it’s a competition.

01 Morvern Callar; Alan Warner - One of the starkest books I’ve ever read. What is it about Scotland that breeds writers with such brutal, distant perspectives on life? Must be all the rocks. 

02 21 Things You Might Not Know About the Indian Act; Bob Joseph - I haven’t had much education in Canada’s relationship to the Indigenous nations that came before it, so this opened things up for me quite a bit. The first and most fundamental awakening is to the fact that this is not a story of progress from worse to better (which is what a simplistic, grade school understanding of smallpox blankets>residential schools>reserves would tell you), in fact, the nation to nation relationship of early contact was often superior to what we have today. I wish there was more of a call to action, but apparently a sequel is on its way. 

03 The Plot Against America; Philip Roth - An alternative history that in some ways mirrors our present. I did feel like I was always waiting for something to happen, but I suppose the point is that, even at the end of the world, disasters proceed incrementally. 

04 Sabrina; Nick Drnaso - The blank art style and lack of contrast in the colouring of each page really reinforces the feeling of impersonal vacancy between most of the characters. I wonder how this will read in the future, as it’s very much based in today’s relationship to friends and technology. 

05 Perfumes: The Guide; Luca Turn & Tania Sanchez - One of the things I like to do when I need to turn my brain off online is reading perfume reviews. That’s where I found out about this book, which runs through different scent families and reviews specific well-known perfumes. Every topic has its boffins, and these two are particularly witty and readable. 

06 Adventures in the Screen Trade; William Goldman - Reading this made me realize how little of the cinema of the 1970s I’ve actually seen, beyond the usual heavy hitters. Ultimately I found this pretty thin, a few peices of advice stitched together with anecdotes about a Hollywood that is barely recognizable today. 

07 The Age of Innocence; Edith Wharton - A love triangle in which the fulcrum is a terribly irritating person, someone who thinks himself far more outré than he is. Nonetheless, I was taken in by this story of “rebellion”, such as it was, to be compelling.

08 Boom Town: The Fantastical Saga of Oklahoma City, Its Chaotic Founding, Its Apocalyptic Weather, Its Purloined Basketball Team, and the Dream of Becoming a World-class Metropolis; Sam Anderson - Like a novel that follows various separate characters, this book switches between tales of the founding of Oklahoma City with basketball facts and encounters with various oddball city residents. It’s certainly a fun ride, but you may find, as I did, that some parts of the narrative interest you more than others. Longest subtitle ever?

09 World of Yesterday; Stefan Zweig - A memoir of pre-war Austria and its artistic communities, told by one of its best-known exports. Particularly wrenching with regards to the buildup to WWII, from the perspective of those who had been through this experience before, so recently. 

10 Teach us to Sit Still: A Sceptic’s Search for Health and Healing; Tim Parks - A writer finds himself plagued by pain that conventional doctors aren’t able to cure, so he heads further afield to see if he can use stillness-of-mind to ease the pain, all the while complaining as you would expect a sceptic to do. His digressions into literature were a bit hard to take (I’m sure you’re not Coleridge, my man).

11 The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences have Extraordinary Impact; Chip & Dan Heath - I read this for work-related reasons, with the intention of improving my ability to make exhibitions and interpretation. It has a certain sort of self-helpish structure, with anecdotes starting each chapter and a simple lesson drawn from each one. Not a bad read if you work in a public-facing capacity. 

12 Against Everything: Essays; Mark Greif - The founder of N+1 collects a disparate selection of essays, written over a period of several years. You won’t love them all, but hey, you can always skip those ones!

13 See What I Have Done; Sarah Schmidt - A retelling of the Lizzie Borden story, which I’d seen a lot of good reviews for. Sadly this didn’t measure up, for me. There’s a lot of stage setting (rotting food plays an important part) but there’s not a lot of substance there. 

14 Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy; Angela Garber - This is another one that came to me very highly recommended. Garber seems to think these topics are not as well-covered as they are, but she does a good job researching and retelling tales of pregnancy, birth, postpartum difficulties and breastfeeding. 

15 Rebecca; Daphne du Maurier - This was my favourite book club book of the year. I’d always had an impression of...trashiness I guess? around du Maurier, but this is a classic thriller. Maybe the first time I’ve ever read, rather than watched, a thriller! That’s on me. 

16 O’Keefe: The Life of an American Legend; Jeffrey Hogrefe - I went to New Mexico for the first time this spring, and a colleague lent me this Georgia O’Keefe biography after I returned. I hadn’t known much about her personal life before this, aside from what I learned at her museum in Santa Fe. The author has made the decision that much of O’Keefe’s life was determined by childhood incest, but doesn’t have what you might call….evidence?

17 A Lost Lady; Willa Cather - A turn-of-the-20th century story about an upper-class woman and her young admirer Neil. I’ve never read any other Cather, but this felt very similar to the Wharton I also read this year, which I gather isn’t typical of her. 

18 The Year of Living Danishly: My Twelve Months of Unearthing the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country; Helen Russell - A British journalist moves to small-town Denmark with her husband, and although the distances are not long, there’s a considerable culture shock. Made me want to eat pastries in a BIG WAY. 

19 How Not to be a Boy; Robert Webb - The title gives a clue to the framing device of this book, which is fundamentally a celebrity memoir, albeit one that largely ignores the celebrity part of his life in favour of an examination of the effects of patriarchy on boys’ development as human beings. 

20 The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will be Glad that You Did); Philippa Perry; A psychotherapist’s take on how parents’ own upbringing affects the way they interact with their own kids. 

21 The Library Book; Susan Orlean - This book has stuck with me more than I imagined that it would. It covers both the history of libraries in the USA, and the story of the arson of the LA Public Library’s central branch in 1986. 

22 We Are Never Meeting in Real Life; Samantha Irby - I’ve been reading Irby’s blog for years, and follow her on social media. So I knew the level of raunch and near body-horror to expect in this essay collection. This did fill in a lot of gaps in terms of her life, which added a lot more blackness (hey) to the humour. 

23 State of Wonder; Ann Patchett - A semi-riff on Heart of Darkness involving an OB/GYN who now works for a pharmaceutical company, heading to the jungle to retrieve another researcher who has gone all Colonel Kurtz on them. I found it a bit unsatisfying, but the descriptions were, admittedly, great. 

24 Disappearing Earth; Julia Phillips - A story of an abduction of two girls in very remote Russia, each chapter told by another townsperson. The connections between the narrators of each chapter are sometimes obvious, but not always. Ending a little tidy, but plays against expectations for a book like this. 

25 Ethan Frome; Edith Wharton - I gather this is a typical high school read, but I’d never got to it. In case you’re in the same boat as me, it’s a short, mildly melodramatic romantic tragedy set in the new england winter. It lacks the focus on class that other Whartons have, but certainly keeps the same strong sense that once you’ve made a choice, you’re stuck with it. FOREVER. 

26 Educated; Tara Westover - This memoir of a Mormon fundamentalist-turned-Academic-superstar was huge on everyone’s reading lists a couple of years back, and I finally got to it. It felt similar to me in some ways to the Glass Castle, in terms of the nearly-unbelievable amounts of hell she and her family go through at the hands of her father and his Big Ideas. I found that it lacked real contemplation of the culture shock of moving from the rural mountain west to, say, Cambridge. 

27 Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of Lusitania; Erik Larson - I’m a sucker for a story of a passenger liner, any non-Titanic passenger liner, really. Plus Lusitania’s story has interesting resonances for the US entry into WWI, and we see the perspective of the U-boat captain as well as people on land, and Lusitania’s own passengers and crew. 

28 The Birds and Other Stories; Daphne du Maurier - The title story is the one that stuck in my head most strongly, which isn’t any surprise. I found it much more harrowing than the film, it had a really effective sense of gradually increasing dread and inevitability. 

29 Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Faded Glory; Raphael Bob-Waksberg - Hit or miss in the usual way of short story collections, this book has a real debt to George Saunders. 

30 Sex & Rage; Eve Babitz - a sort of pseudo-autobiography of an indolent life in the LA scene of the 1970s. It was sometimes very difficult to see how the protagonist actually felt about anything, which is a frequent, acute symptom of youth. 

31 Doctor Fischer of Geneva or The Bomb Party; Graham Greene - Gotta love a book with an alternate title built in. This is a broad (the characters? are, without exception, insane?!) satire about a world I know little about. I don’t have a lot of patience or interest in Greene’s religious allegories, but it’s a fine enough story. 

32 Lathe of Heaven; Ursula K LeGuin - Near-future sci-fi that is incredibly prescient about the effects of climate change for a book written over forty years ago. The book has amazing world-building, and the first half has the whirlwind feel of Homer going back in time, killing butterflies and returning to the present to see what changes he has wrought. 

33 The Grammarians; Cathleen Schine - Rarely have I read a book whose jacket description of the plot seems so very distant from what actually happens therein. 

34 The Boy Kings: A Journey Into the Heart of the Social Network; Katharine Losse - Losse was one of Facebook’s very earliest employees, and she charts her experience with the company in this memoir from 2012. Do you even recall what Facebook was like in 2012? They hadn’t even altered the results of elections yet! Zuck was a mere MULTI-MILLIONAIRE, probably. Were we ever so young?

35 Invisible Women; Caroline Ciado Perez - If you want to read a book that will make you angry, so angry that you repeatedly assail whoever is around with facts taken from it, then this, my friend, is the book for you. 

36 The Hidden World of the Fox; Adele Brand - A really charming look at the fox from an ecologist who has studied them around the world. Much of it takes place in the UK, where urban foxes take on a similar ecological niche that raccoons famously do where I live, in Toronto. 

37 S; Doug Dorst & JJ Abrams - This is a real mindfuck of a book, consisting of a faux-old novel, with marginalia added by two students which follows its own narrative. A difficult read not because of the density of prose, but the sheer logistics involved: read the page, then the marginalia? Read the marginalia interspersed with the novel text? Go back chapter by chapter? I’m not sure that either story was worth the trouble, in the end. 

38 American War; Omar El Akkad - This is not exclusively, but partially a climate-based speculative novel, or, grossly, cli-fi for short. Ugh, what a term! But this book is a really tight, and realistic look at the results of a fossil-fuels-based second US Civil War. 

39 Antisocial: Online Extremists, Techno-Utopians, and the Hijacking of the American Conversation; Andrew Marantz - This is the guy you’ll hear on every NPR story talking about his semi-embedding within the Extremely Online alt-right. Most of the figures he profiles come off basically how you’d expect, I found his conclusions about the ways these groups have chosen to use online media tools to achieve their ends the most illuminating part. 

40 Wilding: The Return of Nature to a British Farm; Isabella Tree - This is the story of a long process of transitioning a rural acreage (more of an estate than a farm, this is aristocratic shit) from intensive agriculture to something closer to wild land. There are long passages where Tree (ahem) simply lists species which have come back, which I’m sure is fascinating if you are from the area, but I tended to glaze over a bit. Experts from around the UK and other European nations weigh in on how best to rewild the space, which places the project in a wider context. 

FICTON: 17     NONFICTION: 23

[quincyisc00l]

Ch. 1

Crisp, almost sweet morning air enters through the cracked windows of a third floor apartment in midtown Burrowsville, Oregon. Soon, the strong scent of coffee joins the wafting aromas beginning to fill the small space, its bookshelves crammed full of novels, dusty and unkempt from months of disgusted neglect from a man too tired to keep up with the rapidly changing (and increasingly dirty) environment of his home. 

Clatter emits from the tiny kitchen, two eggs frying on a pan with just a little cheese and pepper, and the slightly metallic jump of the toaster alerts a black haired man to the finishing of his deliciously carbohydrate-filled breakfast. Assembling his ingredients, he placed the peppered eggs on the toast, taking a hurried bite from a slice carefully to ensure his dress shirt looked at least slightly presentable before he headed out the door towards his slightly beaten up car. A bag of assorted books weighs on his shoulder. 

His name is Jack Kaylem, an English professor at the Burrowsville State University, a teaching career he never really intended to pursue. He could remember the pipe dreams he had as a kid, ambitions of astronomy and paying the moon a visit so grand you could see it all the way from his hometown. As he got older, pressure from his parents to pursue a meaningful career instead of a life filled with “day dreaming about the stars,” or whatever nonsense his parents used to spout had begun to go to his head. So, he graduated from high school early and went to college to get his masters in English at seventeen. 

Long story short, he met a girl in college, fell in love, got a degree in teaching at twenty six, moved to Oregon, became a professor at BSU, went through a painfully long divorce, took up drinking, and now he’s here. Driving to work on a Monday morning at 7:30 a.m. and dreading the very first day of his fifth year at BSU. He never really felt passionate about anything when it comes to teaching, but he certainly can’t afford to quit after such a nasty divorce. Hell, he’d probably being paying off student loans and lawyer fees for the rest of his excruciatingly uninteresting life. He now spends his days grading into the late hours of the night with nothing but a humble shot glass and a bottle of rum. Or, at the very least, he’s going to. 

It’s pretty inevitable at this point. Any and every time he has ever attempted to start out the year in an optimistic manner, it goes up in flames. Poor Jack ends up in the same place. Every year. At his desk, grading the essays his seemingly hopeless senior students turned in just before the due date until around two in the morning. At least then he had a semi-loving wife to come home to. Now what? What does he have going for him now..?

Mmm Mmm. 

Grey eyes glance to his screen for just a moment, long enough to gauge that it was just a “welcome back” email from the Dean. He returns his focus to the road, a sense of dread beginning to pool in his stomach. A momentary look into the rear view mirror would reveal dark circles, scruff and obvious morning fatigue. A brief sigh escaped his lips. 

Upon puling into the crumbly asphalt of the staff parking lot, the overcast sky left barely noticeable shadows on the scarce trees and cars that resided there. How fitting, for such a dreaded day. Gathering his thoughts and willpower, Jack stepped out of the car and ran a firm, calloused hand through his raven locks. Just get it over with, he thought. 

He pulled open the somewhat hidden door that lead into the central building of campus from the lot, keeping one arm tight on the strap of his bag and the other in the pocket of his grey dress pants. The thought of picking up coffee in the break room crossed his mind, but a risk of unwanted conversation lead him straight to the tranquil yet almost eerily quiet space of his lecture hall. 

That had to be the one thing he liked about this job. There was no quiet like this one, the perfect place to read or sit and think. The silence was seldom placed in areas he frequented. Oddly enough, he found such lack of noise the perfect place to clear his mind, an escape of sorts. It never lasted long, fifteen minutes tops, but that never really mattered. He would always be back to repeat days as some cruel punishment. Of what, he was unsure, but it was undeniable. The moment he married that woman from college he would be damned to eternal contemplation that he, somehow, felt he deserved. 

Orientation would go on as expected. Tiresome, restless adults ready to either dive right in or get the year over with, the fidgeting all the same. Antsy children, that’s all they were. He went over rules, his expectations, a brief summary of the contents of his class, then bid the students farewell over and over again throughout the day. 

As time went on, the gentle pitter-patter of droplets on the panes of glass began to emerge, spots littering the cement of campus. He could almost feel the dark circles under his eyes begin to grow, and he had just barely gotten through the first day. At the very least, he wouldn’t have any grading to do this evening. 

How odd. He knew it was cloudy earlier, sure, but the sheer magnitude of water falling from the overcast sky. He hadn’t brought an umbrella. Just his luck. 

Taking a seat on the steps of the exit, he let the water drench his work shirt. It felt nice, though he knew he would regret this later. Thoughts of his life choices began to flood his mind. Which was ironic, considering the circumstances. Its almost as though every drop that fell on his soaked raven hair brought up another painful memory.

Another fight, another drink, another year, month, week, day. And now it’s gone. The sliver of good that he once had, ripped from his palms.

Why wasn’t he good enough?

Hm. Even more odd, why did the rain stop? Jack’s eyebrows knitted in confusion for just a moment before glancing up to find a yellow umbrella, patterned with lemon slices. His grey irises trailed down to the handle, then to a small hand and eventually, an empathetic smile. 

There was a girl holding an umbrella over his head, likely out of pity. How strange. 

They made eye contact for a moment before she looked away, her expression lifted with the content Jack ached for. In that brief moment, he had wished that anyone in his life would be so kind as to stay, just as this complete stranger did.

He looked toward the nearly empty parking lot, and the girl spoke up. 

“Are you alright?” She asked. 

“Yeah.” Jack sighed, rising from his cement seat. “Thank you.”

She hummed in response. She offered her free hand in introduction, the other still holding the citrus-themed umbrella above the two. 

“I’m Delilah.” She smiled. 

“Jack.” He said with a huff, shaking her hand. It was so small, and soft. Free of the worlds nasty claws, he thought. She has a warm kindness to her, something he hasn’t seen in a long time. 

“I’m aware. You’re my English professor.”

“Ah. I thought you looked familiar.” She didn’t, but its hard to remember every student on the first day, isn’t it?

“Get home safe,” the Delilah chuckled, “I’m looking forward to your class tomorrow.”

[blushypetey]

friday night lights (au)

summary: you offered peter help & you slowly started to fall for each other.

paring: popular!peter x shy!reader

warnings: swearing & flash being flash

word count: 3,872

a/n: its a football!au so i decided to write peter as a popular football player, a cliche concept but not when it comes to our boy peter parker. i’m actually proud of this imagine & it’s an au so i hope you guys like this concept.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

thursday | 7:30 am

HE WALKED, down the football field with confidence heading to morning practice — simply Peter Parker was the star quarterback of Midtown Highschool, a heart-throb to his fellow class mates. His personality was unforgettably sweet — his looks did him justice with his beautiful smile, messy brown curls, & charming smile. He was nice to everyone and always filled the room with joy & kindness.

Now on the other hand you weren't known throughout the school like Peter. You thought you were nothing special being super introverted with your only friend being Michelle — until you crossed paths with Peter Parker.

You had first met him in English class during the start of the semester you sat next to him & he wasn't doing so great in the subject although he was great at Chemistry & Algebra. The semester continued with Peter still struggling with his writing. He wasn't failing he just had a C- which was still unacceptable because it was on the verge of a D meaning he wouldn't be able to play football. He wasn't proud of that the main reason he had that grade was due to him failing an essay.

He had gotten a 45% on the essay Peter couldn't bear the grade anymore. He went to the teacher to ask for help & that's when you offered to help.

“Ms.Willams, is there anyway I could fix my grade. Or revise my essay?” Peter asked as the students left the classroom.

“Currently No, I could set you up with a tutor or you could attend homework center & ask for help there.” she simply replied as she started packing her things.

You heard the conversation & felt bad for Peter, you had an A in the class thinking maybe you could help him. To your defense helping would benefit Peter to continue playing his games — you picked up your backpack & walked to the teacher's desk.

“I — um can't go to homework center I have practice.”

“Okay let me see what I can do,”

“I — um could tutor you Peter,” you quickly responded.

This caught Peter by surprise he knew you, you were the best in the class & he knew couldn't pass up this opportunity this could really benefit his grade. He was also relived for once — a girl was talking to him not because he was Peter Parker.

You waited for his response awkwardly, ��Really?”

he said after being lost in his thoughts.

“Yeah of course,” you lightly smiled.

“Okay then it's settled Y/n, you will tutor Peter. You'll have your next writing assignment soon. See you guys tomorrow.”

That's how it all begin Peter really benefited from your tutoring — his next writing assignment went up to a 75%. You both actually worked great together & he didn't feel awkward around you. He hadn't felt pressured to keep an image up — surprisingly he was nervous around girls.

Peter finally caught up to all of his friends on the field & got is shoes ready & tied for practice. He greeted his teammates while doing his usual warm-up with them. Although almost everyone at Midtown respected him Flash didn't — he was jealous of the individual being the most popular student at the school & star quarterback.

“Hey what's up Parker,” Flash remarked as he was warming up.

Peter's other friends rolled their eyes knowing what was going to happen — this often happened where Flash would tease the quarterback. Peter would honestly care less & Flash always ended up embarrassing himself.

“What do you want Flash?” Peter said annoyed.

“Oh nothing just wanted to know if you passed the 5 page paper we just did. Or did you need Y/n to write it all?”

He was usually calm towards situations with Flash but when he brought up you he was more tempered.

“She didn't write it for me. Just fuck off already.”

“You seem upset Peter did I offended you.” he said teasingly.

“No can you just leave me alone.”

Flash looked at him with a challenging look Peter had stayed straight faced. One of Peter's friends spoke up, “Dude honestly none of us like you so would you please just fuck off.”

“No one asked you,” Flash remarked.

That was until a whistle was blown & all the boys huddled back up to their coach. This had focused the boys back to practice instead of Flash.

You were currently on the bleachers waiting for Peter's morning practice to end. It wasn't something new to the both of you — the first time it had happened was because he had forgotten his paper. Since then you had both of you had spent time together before 1st period.

You didn't know that his other teammates had started to realize that Peter had a soft spot for you. They honestly could've care less who he was with but the rest of the school was to question your friendship.

Peter had finished up early & he started walking off the football field noticing you from the corner of his eye. You approached him, “Hi Peter,” he looked up at you.

“Hey Y/N. Is that coffee for me?” he laughed in response seeing the two cups in your hand.

“Indeed it is. You said you stayed up finished that reading so I thought I'd help you out.”

“Thanks, I don't know what I'd do with out you.”

You both sat down at a table with a few minutes to spare before class. Then a few of Peter's friends had approached the both of you — knowing a few of his friends but for some reason you were still nervous around them you felt that they judged you. They had actually never judged you & just had wanted to get to know you better but you were just very closed off.

“What's up Peter!” Lucas had said. He was one of Peter's closer friends besides Ned which was his closest.

“Hey Y/N.” he said afterwards.

“Um Hey,” You has said they looked back down at your phone to avoid further conversation. A few of his other friends came to sit by you at the table finally Ned had took seat next to you.

One of his friends grabbed Peter's cup of coffee & took a sip, but it was before he could say anything he knew his friend would hate it. “Dude this is disgusting why would you get this,” Peter just laughed.

“Hey it's not even that bad,” Peter remarked.

“When did you have time to get coffee,”

Peter had looked at you then he saw that you were a bit uncomfortable surrounded by his friends. You had just been sitting there. “Oh I didn't get it Y/n did,” he replied.

“Wow next get me something Y/n.”

“Sure just tell me what you want.” you said back at Peter's friend.

“Hey — No she's gets me coffee losers,” Peter budged in.

“So am I only you barista,” you looked back at him.

You heard his friend chuckle & focus on Peter. He seemed shocked “What! No your my friend your just super nice & always get me coffee,” he quickly responded to save himself.

“Sure Parker.”

“What I was kidding—”

“Jeez I know you were.” you laughed back at him.

The bell had rang & you quickly retrieved you stuff too get to class. Peter's friends just looked at him Ned was the first to speak up, “Dude you so like her.”

“What No I don't,” Peter quickly denied.

Lucas raised his eyebrows at him, “Um it's pretty obvious we're not judging you I actually think it's cute.”

“Okay but I don't think she would like me back.”

Ned just looked at Peter, “Are you serious dude of course she likes you, you're Peter Parker! “

“Okay yeah but I don't know she's different.”

“Different how?”

“She doesn't care for my popularity, looks, or that play football.”

“Yes Peter & that's good,” Lucas informed.

“Okay yeah but then how do I know that she likes me.”

“She just does man. Now let's get to class.”

Although Peter may have seemed to be a confident kind he actually wasn't when it came to you. He didn't think you liked him he thought you were too good for him. When in your situation you thought he'd ever like someone like you.

— 12:30 pm

Michelle was waiting for you to show up at your usual lunch table in the back. She constantly had to wait for you due to your 4th period being across from the school. She never minded though it gave he a few minutes of quite to focus on her book before you came & started a conversation.

“Michelle today I got my English essay back & I got an 100% I'm so happy,” Michelle looked back up at you unimpressed.

“You always get good scores what is there to be happy about?”

“Oh — Peter he got an 87% so I'm really happy so now he can play at the homecoming game.”

“I feel you only talk about him now. It's always Peter this & Peter that. I'm pretty sure you like him. Actually I know you like him,” she confidently said.

You weren't shocked that she had picked up the fact that you liked Peter. You just didn't want it to be brought up you were trying to avoid the fact that you liked him. You were hoping your stupid crush would go away but at this point it developed into something more.

“Okay you caught me I like him,” you looked down avoiding eye contact with her.

“Hey what's wrong I honestly don't care that you talk about him. I think it's cute,” she was to quickly respond avoid hurting your feelings.

“You did nothing wrong it's just I really like him & I never really expected it.”

“Isn't that how it works?”

“Okay yeah but at first it was a stupid crush & I wanted to push it alway. But then I just kept spending time with him & now I'm here stuck.”

“You're not stuck unless he doesn't like you back.”

“That's the thing I know he doesn't like me.”

Michelle just looked at you in disbelief how you had such little faith in yourself. She knew it would be something unheard of at Midtown specifically Peter to be dating someone like you. But the thing was to Michelle it wasn't impossible she saw something between you two.

“You don't know that.” she had smiled at you then went back to her book.

You hadn't bothered responded back you knew Michelle — when she started reading there was no way to have a conversation with her. It gave you time to think about what she said. Could Peter actually like me?

Peter was at the other side of the cafeteria crowded by the rest of his friends. They had been talking about the upcoming game, “Peter can you play at this game?” one of his friends asked.

They had known about his grade in English the coach had purposely told him he needed to pass his most recent essay to play.

“Actually yeah I did I got a 87%”

“What the fuck, that little tutor of yours is helping you big time.”

“Um yeah she helped a lot,” he lightly chuckled.

Ned was one to speak up, “Okay now Peter cut the bullshit how are you gonna ask her out to Homecoming?”

Peter's friends have been dying to know all day how he would ask you out. Peter each time would just avoid the topic or say it wasn't going to happen.

“Look dude I don't know. I don't even think she likes me.”

“You should ask her to wear your jersey to this game,” Lucas suggested.

“What why?”

“Because last game you let Gwen wear it. Plus if you are going to be with Y/n other girls should see that so they could — you know back off.”

“Look Gwen asked me that one time & I didn't want to be rude,” Peter admitted.

“Yes & people thought you were dating now you should ask her to wear yours.”

“Okay fine I'll ask her after school,” Peter finally agreed.

All his friends all smiled at him while Ned high-fives him. They were surprised that Peter was actually going to make some sort of move finally. In that moment you saw his friends smiling & cheering no idea why but you saw Peter. He looked somewhat uncomfortable trying to fit in that moment.

He saw from across the room — he gave you a smile. His smile radiated through the cafeteria you smiled back it him it gave you butterflies through your stomach knowing Peter saw you for that split second. It was probably pointless to you in his mind but to you it left you breathless.

— 3:00 pm

You had quickly left your last period thankful the day was over. You were waiting for Peter in front of the school he had texted you during your 5th to meet up after school. You had wondered what it was about though you were eager to see him again.

“Hey Y/n I wanted to ask you something,”

He had just came out of P.E you remembered him telling you that was his last period. But you could also see the bit of exhaustion over his face presented while speaking to you.

“Hey what did you want to tell me?” you smiled back at him.

“Well first I wanted to say thank you.”

“For what?” you had no idea what he had been thanking you for. You had always been a thoughtful person you often were surprised when people personally thanked you.

“You know for all the help this semester.”

“Oh that's no problem. I love helping you out plus you're a pretty cool guy,” he laughed back at your response. You had always been too sweet of a person & he almost forget he was going to ask you to wear his jersey. That was until he saw all his friends in the corner of his eye giving him huge thumbs ups.

“I was wondering if — um you would want to wear my jersey for the game this Friday. I mean you don't have to if you want to — it's just sort of a thank you.”

You were shocked about this, last game Gwen had worn his jersey. You thought that maybe they had some sort of unspoken thing between them but here he was offering his jersey to you. It flattered you that he had offered because it was usually a couples thing.

“I'd love too,” it took you a second to respond due your shock.

“Great I'll give it to you tomorrow,” he had giving you a affectionate smile before speaking up again.

“I'll text you later,” he waved back at you as he walked towards his friends.

That was when you could wait to get home & text Michelle what had just happened. Tomorrow was the big day but that also meant people were going actually pay attention to you. Seeing that you were going to wear Peter Parker's jersey infront of the whole school.

— 7:55 am

You had been waiting for Peter at the football field for little over 20 minutes waiting for him to get out of the locker room. His morning practice had been extended a little later due to the big game being today. You picked up your bag & started walking down from the bleachers.

While you stayed on the bleachers you could see Peter & a few of his friends walking towards you. Still hoping this whole thing wouldn't be a big deal — you picked up your bag & started walking down from the bleachers.

Suddenly your nerves got to you reason being that this was actually happening. Sure you thought Peter 'doesn't like me' but he was thinking of you. His friends slowly parted from him then it was just you had him. You couldn't see it in his face but he was just nervous as you.

He gave you a smile — the smile that always made your heart flutter, “How was practice?” you didn't want to ask him about the jersey just yet. You may have thought that he forgot or just changed his mind — over thinking the situation.

“It was okay a little bit more than usual. Oh — I have this for you if your still wanted to wear it.”

There it was his jersey plastered with the #10 it was something that held so much value to not just Peter but the school. You grabbed it in your hands shocked at the offer still that it was actually in your hands.

“Thank you. I'll take good care of it,” you exaggerated.

At that moment you felt that everyone was watching — you had removed your backpack & slipped the jersey over your current shirt. The only people that were actually watching were Peter & his friends. They wanted to see if you would actually follow through on wearing the jersey.

“No Problem I'll see you 2nd period.”

“Bye Peter,” you smiled back at him and walked towards your class as the bell rung.

Peter had quickly ran to catch up with Ned heading to his first period. Ned had quickly looked at him waiting for a response of what just happened.

He didn't think of the situation that much he had just given you his jersey. He knew that Ned saw what had happened he didn't know what so say, “You look like you want me to say something.”

“Yes what else Peter, I want to know what happened.”

“All I did was give her my jersey that's all dude you can calm down now.”

“Then when are you gonna ask her out.”

“Shh... I don't want people to know. There's lots of people here I'll tell you my plan later.”

— 8:05 am

You had taken you seat at your 1st period you heard the whispers in the classroom. This is the part where you kind of wish you didn't accept the offer. Only because you couldn't handle the attention — all you heard were people whispers which seemed to be really loud.

She's with Peter no way.

Dude what did she do to get that.

Never expected that one.

Michelle was the one to snap you out of your thoughts, “Hey don't worry about anything their probably all jealous of you,” she winked back at you.

Throughout the day you've gotten used to the stares & whispers you knew the school was going to get over it the next day. That's how Midtown has always been news died down quick so you knew you had nothing to worry about.

During class Michelle gave you a look like she needed to say something important. You didn't ignore her message, “What?”you whispered at her.

“Are you going to the football game tonight?” she asked quietly to avoid getting in trouble.

“Yes, will you go with me?”

“I knew it,” she said proudly.

“Yeah why wouldn't I go?” you said confused.

“No, I knew that you would ask me to go.”

“Hey I don't want to be alone.”

“I'll go. Just so you won't be alone.”

“Thanks you're the best.”

You were beyond relived that Michelle decided to go with you. You didn't really have any other friends besides her so it was your only option to ask her.

Plus she had agreed because she knew Peter had something planned that night.

— 7:00 pm

The night barely begun & you could hear the crowd cheering as the football players field took the field. The bright stadium lights lit up the whole field while the bleachers were filled with sent of popcorn & other snacks. The players were getting ready for kickoff while Michelle was getting snacks.

The game has started you kept your eyes attached on #10 as he ran across the field. There was some paying attention at the game while others were just having a conversation with their friends. Michelle had came back, “What up loser I got food,” she threw a bag of candy at you.

“Thanks, what took you so long.”

“Dude the line was so long like the whole school is here & I Also had to go to the bathroom.”

You guys had been enjoying the game having random conversation while the second quarter was slowly coming to an end. That meant half-time was approaching & you knew the cheerleaders would perform like always.

You saw Peter run across the field as the ball was thrown in his direction, “Come on Peter!” he had quickly caught the ball. The crowd filled with cheers as he ran towards the end zone. He started running faster the crowd roared as he made the made it to the end zone. That put an end to the 2nd quarter & the players ran back to the bench.

The cheerleaders took the field — the speaker blared the loud peppy music. Some students cheered them on as others could care less & continued unfinished conversations. Not until two football players came up holding a unopened poster running up with the cheerleaders — they seemed unbothered by what was happening.

Then you knew someone was going to be asked to Homecoming you just didn't know who. You could tell that one person holding the poster was Ned you couldn't make out the other friend of Peter's though. That was when Peter ran up to the center of the field with a microphone in hand you heard some gasps when he approached.

“I'd like to share something very important with you all,” you heard cheering in the distance.

“I have a friend who means the world to me & I know she's out here today,” you felt eyes on you.

“I'd like her to know she helped me with my grades & helped improve me as a person. Not only that but she's the sweetest person — she always gets me coffee & gives the me her best advice.”

That was when you slowly got up from the bleachers towards the field knowing it was you. He was smiling at you when slowly started walking up to him, “So

Y/n L/n will you go to Homecoming with me?” the poster opened as he said those words.

You met eyes with him standing right in front of him his beautiful brown eyes filled with innocence & hopefulness. You smiled and breathed out, “Yes.”

In that moment Peter pulled you into a soft yet passionate kiss. The crown erupted with cheers the sound echoed through the back of your head. Everything seemed muted in the moment of the kiss — when it was over you looked him, “I didn't really expect that.”

“You weren't supposed too.” He just gave you his charming smile & pulled you into a hug.You turned your head slightly seeing the crowd with smiles & their phones out capturing the whole moment.

“Thank you.”Peter whispered in your ear.

“For what?” you asked cluelessly.

“Everything,” he breathed out.

[douneedquotesoritalics153]

writing papers

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[gray-anxiety]

No Sympathy → Levi Ackerman Chapter 4 → First Day

Read the rest of the chapters here!

As a result of this chapter being semi-late (I was working on the plot of this story and figured out a pretty solid one, though I'm not sure about the ending yet), have the longest chapter of the story so far — clocking in at 2,660 words

 Aella’s phone blared with one of her 30 alarms telling her to get out of bed, though Aella thought otherwise. Aella buried herself deep into her blankets and tried to go back to sleep but the alarms kept going off. Damn her and her genius method of making herself get up. The warmth that encased Aella lulled her back to sleep, but she knew she had to get up — school was in 3 hours and she had to now plan out a schedule and a new budget to share with Levi. She really needed to take a day off sometime; this shit is fucking horrible. Aella finally pulled herself out of bed and checked the time on her phone — 5:04 A.M. not bad considering that she spent all four of those minutes just trying to sleep in. Aella thought about taking a shower but decided against it knowing Levi was probably asleep still. Aella opened her door and was surprised to see Levi across from her on the couch watching the news looking like he’s been awake for hours.

   “Levi? The hell you doing awake?” Aella asked, rubbing her eyes while walking to the kitchen; Aella was already famished, any food seemed delicious right about now.

   “Insomnia.” Is all that Levi said, not bothering to even pay attention to Aella; he was focused on the news that had just come on four minutes ago. Aella looked back to the TV and saw a report about the recent murders that happened in the capital. Aella couldn’t have given two shits about the politics happening there as they never did anything to help Maria or the districts that struggled to not go broke. Corruption was everywhere in Sina, which made it perfect for mafia activity rather than the gang activity that occurs around here, but it was just as bad, if not worse there. The capital had long attempted to cover the high crime rate occurring in Maria and Sina (Rose was considered the safest city out of the three) and did a fairly good job convincing the other territories that the country with three cities was safe and far from corruption, but when you’re isolated from every other country due to their hate for you, it doesn’t do much. Yes, it did suck being born in such a hated place, but it did have its benefits as well — mafias have tried to lessen the corruption by attempting to take over the government to establish a more equal democracy, but every attempt so far has failed. That’s right — mafias. When fucking mafias try to lessen corruption you know you fucked up. Aella bit off a piece of her sandwich and grabbed a tea bag from her cupboard; no day started off right unless she had her tea.

   “Levi, we should establish a schedule and a budget since you’re living here now,” Levi grunted in acknowledgment and turned his head to pay attention to Aella once the news segment was over. Levi got up and stretched his arm a bit before walking over to sit at the tiny wooden table Aella had against the wall parallel to the kitchen.

   “Tea?” Levi raised his brow and Aella rolled her eyes; she pulled out three tea flavors and made him pick one.

   “You drink black tea as well I gather.” Aella nodded her head and poured the hot water into two cups with tea bags in them — she hoped he preferred nothing in his tea as she did. Aella grabbed the two cups and set them down at the table where Levi resided and grabbed her planner from the counter.

   “How much money do you make a month?” Levi rolled his eyes at the question and sipped his tea.

   “Too much. Let’s just say 50,000 for now. I imagine that’d be plenty for a month’s rent.” Aella’s jaw dropped — she only made 2,500 a month if she was lucky! How on earth does a high schooler make so much damn money?

   “How old are you even, Levi? That’s so much money!” Levi looked up with a blank face.

   “19. I would ask how old you are, but I already know from looking at your documents. You’re not doing all that bad for being a month away from turning 18.” Aella’s eye twitched; Levi could’ve seen her real name! Aella sucked in a breath and started planning a budget with Levi. Most of the funds would be stashed away and saved for an emergency while about 5,000 would be reserved for the apartment alone, 2,000 on food; which would bleed over to next’s month’s food reserves, and another 2,000 for anything that was needed but didn’t group in with the rest. Aella questioned why in the hell Levi, at 19, was still in high school, but made no attempt on asking knowing she’d receive a glare from Levi. Three hours pass by fast when planning out financials and getting ready for school, Aella managed to even start working on a ten-page essay! Levi stood waiting at the door with his backpack over one shoulder for Aella to hurry up and turn off all the lights — Levi even grabbed Aella’s own backpack and threw it over his shoulder too.

   “I work from 5-8 at a local writing company, please don’t do anything that’d destroy my apartment during that time,” Aella begged as the two of them walked out the door to school. Levi rolled his eyes and threw Aella’s backpack towards her.

    “Relax. I’m not going to do anything. The worst thing you’d ever come back to is me cleaning up a murder, which you’ve already borne witness to.” Aella rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. The dynamic duo had finally reached one of the numerous entrances for Karanese High, nodded at one another as a goodbye, and went their separate ways for one 90 minute class. Levi skipped out for the second half of his ‘block’ class for a smoke — he was considered a ‘bad boy’ for a reason, apparently. Levi thought the whole classification system was absolutely ludicrous, but who was he to judge? His official work title was being a motherfucking mafia boss. Another senior stepped out onto the roof as well, earning a blank glance from Levi — it was some guy named Armin Arlert. Contrary to popular belief, Levi and Armin both held the spot for smartest kid in the school even though both parties were considered ‘popular bad boys’. Armin nodded his head towards Levi and pulled out a blunt — offering an extra to Levi for later, which he gladly accepted. Armin had his bob-length hair pulled back into a mini man bun that surprisingly went well for some dude who was supposedly considered a nerd two years ago.

   “Did you hear about the party happening over the weekend? Apparently, some really high-class mafia bosses are funding it.” Levi’s eyebrow arched in interest; Armin nodded in understanding and continued:

   “Remember that chick Sasha from Government that’d always propose anything related to food?” Levi nodded and sighed through his nose. Sasha annoyed him to no end — especially when she was right next to him screaming to some kid named Connie right across from her.

   “She’s hosting it. She’s inviting all the populars and any party animal that wants drugs and booze. Of course, there is little to no chance of the party being raided as the police couldn’t give fifteen shits about anything outside of the capital. You in? There are some of my friends that I told you about that will be there — you should meet ‘em. They love fighting, drugs, and crime as much as you.” Levi looked at his phone and stood up.

   “I’ll keep it in mind, Arlert.” And with that, he walked off to fitness — where Aella would be. The whole popularity thing didn’t bother Levi much, except when the one person he was trying to talk to kept getting glares from every horny girl in the room wanting to have a go with Levi’s dick. Levi rolled his eyes and flipped off the girls before dragging Aella to a private sector for people who wanted to work out alone or in groups of two. Aella looked at Levi with the look of ‘you didn’t need to do that’; irking Levi to no end especially whenever he defended her from their comments.

   “Why do you keep letting them hurt you like that, Dumbass?” Aella stared at Levi; unaffected by his insults and harsh words.

   “Because I deserve it after last year. Now, that’s enough talk about the past, let’s just work out so we don’t look like the fuckin preps.” Levi followed Aella to the library for study hall, though Levi still had yet to need it — he finished all his assignments in period 1; irking Aella whenever he rubbed it in. Levi sat down next to Aella at a table in the corner and watched her pull out every material she needed.

   “Thought you didn’t like having friends.” Aella snarked, working on every bit of homework she was assigned for the entire day. Levi clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

   “I never said that; you assumed, Brat. If you didn’t realize already, but I’m in a bit of a problem that won’t stop coming back to bite me in the ass.” Aella scoffed and continued to type her essay due next month. Hey, it never hurt to get ahead, right? Especially when your unexpected new roommate is a fucking gangster.

   “Don’t you have homework too?” Levi shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair.

    “Unlike you, I get it done all in class.” Aella’s jaw dropped.

   “Pardon me, but what the fuck? How in the fucking hell did you manage to crank out a ten god damned page essay in one 90 minute class?” Levi mentally face-palmed — he never mentioned once to Aella that he graduated when he was 16 after founding No Sympathy and getting access to online education to make up for the years lost from living in the slums.

   “I graduated years ago, brat. I skipped five grades in one year the moment I had access to online schooling whenever things were quiet.” Aella groaned at the thought of asking about his GPA, but she already knew it was probably a 4.0 with no effort whatsoever.

    “Can you at least help me, then? I have work later and I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish all of this.” Aella was as desperate as it comes when asking the Levi for help. She still had a job to uphold even if Levi started helping with paying the bills.

   “No.” Levi was unfazed by Aella’s exasperated self and looked away to scan the library while she continued to beg for his help.

    “Please, I’m begging you, Levi.” Aella was now not only stressed about a new roommate, a job, finances, and where she’d even go to college — if she could even afford it –– but now she had to deal with homework that almost cost her to be held back because all of her assignments were late; she spent all her time working with no time whatsoever for homework. This year was no exception.

    “No.” Aella gave up trying to ask any help from Levi whatsoever — she simply sucked it up and worked on everything as quickly and efficiently as possible. As soon as school ended, Aella bolted out to get home to eat something before going in, leaving Levi to bolt after her in confusion.

   “Brat! The hell you going?”

   “Home!” As soon as Aella shoved the key into the apartment and got in, she dropped her backpack and ran to the fridge to make anything that’d keep her from starving, knowing that she’d be too tired to eat after work. 

   “Where’s your damn car?” Levi strode in, leaning against the door frame; his backpack still strung on one of his shoulders. Aella looked up from her food and raised her brow.

   “Can’t afford one. You’ve seen this apartment — it’s all I can afford and even then I’m struggling to keep myself off of the streets.” Levi closed the door and gently set his stuff on the couch before padding over to where Aella resided.

    “Why not live with your family?” Levi’s curiosity peaked.

   “Hate me; like everyone else. Got kicked out two years ago.” Aella answered so nonchalantly like it was an obvious answer, though the hurt in her eyes was evident and shown right through Levi — she suffered just as much as he did and had no one to help her. Aella turned back, walked to her backpack, and started to pack for work. The room was silent after Levi’s question — he knew he stepped too far but also knew Aella forgave him as long as he never brought it up once more; Aella sighed and ruffled her hair after looking at the clock 20 minutes later.

   “I gotta go. You have a phone?” Levi grunted and tossed his unlocked burn phone to her. Aella set up her contact info for Levi to reach her in case anything happened.

   “There. Call me if you fuck anything up.” Levi raised a brow and gave Aella a look of ‘are you fucking serious’.  As soon as Aella left, Levi looked around. Dust had covered everything — Levi felt disgusted at how little Aella must’ve cleaned the place. Levi walked to one of the cabinets in the kitchen to see glorious unused cleaning supplies that even came with the holy grail itself — bleach. Levi greedily grabbed every single product and started with a round of dusting and sweeping, then added a single layer of bleach on every hard surface that wasn’t the dark wood floors or the walls, followed by a good old fashion soap and water scrubbing while on his hands and knees, repeated about three times after until he finally moved on to the floors and walls. After deeply cleaning the floors and walls, Levi attacked the windows with Windex and polished them until they reflected everything — even the floors and countertops were so clean Levi could see his reflection in them; he even cleaned his room, the bathroom, and Aella’s room.

     Levi retreated back into the living room and looked at Aella’s full backpack; she needed all the help she could get with her assignments — Levi saw her planner full with 4 essays due ranging from tomorrow to next month; to say Aella must’ve been stressed was an understatement. Levi carried her backpack to the table and started doing everything to either completion or half-way to completion until he decided two hours of work was enough — Aella should be getting home soon at any minute. Levi put every single item back into the backpack and placed it on the couch where Aella left it. Aella sighed, brushing a rogue hair out of her face while she unlocked her apartment’s door — oh the benefits of living in a complex where the building had access to every single apartment outside. When she walked in she was greeted with a clean space and reading Levi — Aella smiled and silently thanked Levi as she walked to the couch to collapse — collapsing right next to Levi. Aella didn’t care if Levi would yell at her, she rested her head on Levi’s lap; eventually feeling Levi’s fingers thread through her hair while he read — Aella watching some late night show.

   Aella supposed that this entire arrangement wouldn’t be that bad.

[shawnstoriesx]

Old Times Pt 1

heylo! sorry for being so inactive i was a busy girl and i rlly just couldn’t figure out how to continue the fics i started so i just made a whole new one XD anywayz i will get back to those until then ! feedback would be greatly appreciated! thanks for sticking around i love youuuuuuuu 

YN climbed out her bedroom window and onto the roof of her house, letting out a small groan when she heard loud yelling downstairs. So much for a peaceful evening. 

With a pizza box clutched in one hand and a light blanket in the other, she rushed her way to the front of her house. At first glance, the trek from YN’s bedroom window would seem tricky but she’d grown used to it. Every Thursday night for the past 4 years, YN’s roof had been the designated hang out spot for her and her neighbor. YN could probably do this blindfolded. She quickly set down the blanket and pizza box before lying down on the blanket too, staring up at the setting sky. It was the day before her high school graduation and YN’s body was pounding with emotions. Her nerves were on edge. She couldn’t wait to graduate and was excited for the next chapter of her life but was also anxious about starting college and leaving all her friends behind. Or rather her friends were all leaving her. They’d all chosen out of state schools that were hundreds of miles away while YN had opted for a school that was just a 30 minute drive. At least she still had Shawn. Shawn was her neighbor and she’d been his first new friend when he moved here the summer before their freshmen year. They’d been good friends ever since and although they didn’t hang out at school, being part of different crowds, Shawn and YN talked almost every day, whether it be in person, through text, or by writing on paper and pressing it up to their bedroom windows which were directly across from each other. Shawn had opted to dorm to get the “whole college experience” so YN was comforted by the fact that he’d always be on campus. Perhaps they could even hang out together once school started. Speaking of which, YN checked her phone to see the time. 7:15 PM. Shawn was only 15 minutes late to their standing hangout so YN didn’t think much of it. This was their last hangout as high schoolers and probably their last in a while since they’d be away all summer. YN and her family were going on vacation the first half of summer and Shawn was going on a road trip with his friends for the last half so this was kind of an important one to YN and probably to Shawn too. He was probably just caught up at work and running a little late. YN went back to looking up at the sky and perusing her thoughts. Another 15 minutes passed and it was starting to get chilly. YN walked back to her bedroom window to quickly grab a jacket. Texting Shawn probably would be a good idea too. Walking back to her spot on the front of the roof, YN unlocked her phone and started to type a message when she heard noise coming from her neighbor’s front yard. Shawn’s front yard specifically. He’s here! YN steadily made her way to the front of her house but stopped midway upon hearing multiple voices from Shawn’s yard. “Thanks for the ride man. I’ve been meaning to get my bike fixed.” Shawn yelled out and then YN heard a car door shut. “No problem!” another voice called out while another one yelled “Hurry up and change! We’re already late to the bonfire.” Bonfire? YN quickly ducked down behind the peak of her roof and peered up into Shawn’s yard. There was a truck packed with 3 boys and after a few minutes, Shawn jogged out of his house in swim trunks and a backpack slung over his back. “Your parents cool with you going out with us?” “Yeah.” Shawn shrugged. “It’s not like I had anything else to do today.” YN stayed hidden behind her roof until she was sure that Shawn and his friends had left. She quietly walked back to where she had placed the pizza box and blanket earlier in the evening, picked everything up, and returned to her bedroom. It was just another hangout, YN thought. There really wasn’t anything special about it. They’d been doing this every week for the past 4 years so it should’ve lost its charm but YN couldn’t help but feel hurt.  She pulled her blankets over her frame and shut her eyes. She’ll just call it an early night.

“YN! Honey! Do you have class today?”

YN groggily woke up to the sound of her mother calling from the kitchen downstairs. She let out a tired groan. She’d stayed up late last night to finish an essay but at least she got it done with. Sure she was feeling a bit sleep deprived but as soon as she submitted this essay in class, YN would finally be done with all of the finals from her first year of college.

She blindly reached around her bed to find her phone, letting out another frustrated groan when she heard it fall off her bed and onto the floor. YN tried to unlock her phone...but it wasn’t turning on.

YN cursed under her breath. She must’ve forgotten to charge it last night. YN plugged it into its charger and made her way to her restroom to get ready for school.

“YN! Aren’t you going to be late?”

Late? “What time is it Mom?”

“8:45.”

“FUCK! Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” YN yelled. Her class started at 9 AM.

Her mother muttered something unintelligible as she scrambled to the sink and hastily brushed her teeth before running back to her room and haphazardly throwing on clothes she found lying around her room before flying down the stairs and running to her car.

YN started the engine and was backing out of her driveway when she noticed her mom running out of the doorway...with YN’s backpack in her arms.

“Thanks Mom.” YN said sheepishly as she rolled down her windows so that her mom could push the backpack in.

Her mom simply laughed, threw out a quick “Love you,” and walked back into the house.

***

45 minutes later, because of course the one time YN had woken up late all year was also the day there was an insane amount of traffic and congestion, YN pulled into the school parking lot and sprinted out and to her class.

YN arrived, out of breath, just as students were beginning to file out of the lecture hall. She’d made it just in time. She could sneak in right now and slip her essay into the pile and everything would be alright.

“YN!” a voice called and she looked up to see her friend Belinda walking over. “Where were you? I’ve been texting you nonstop!”

“Sorry!” YN gasped in between breaths. “My phone died so my alarm didn’t go off. But it’s all good.” YN let out a weak smile and raised the hand that was grasping onto her paper. “Got here just in time to.” But that smile quickly washed off her face when she noticed Belinda’s concerned look.

“YN. He collected the essays at the beginning of class.”

***

YN made her way to the front of the hall where she saw another student deep in conversation with the professor. She took in a deep breathe to calm herself down and prepared what she was going to say. If he just checked her grades on all the other assignments for this class, he’d see that she was a stellar student. Today was just a slight slip up.

“Can I help you?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and saw that the professor and the other student were looking at her. “Uhh...I came late.” YN stuttered, holding up her essay. Very eloquent YN.

“You too?” her professor sighed.

YN’s eyes glanced to the other student and she looked rather frustrated. That didn’t bode well.

“Look, I can’t accept your essays. They were due at the beginning of class and I have a strict no tolerance late work policy.” YN’s face must’ve visibly fallen because her professor quickly laughed. “But...I am in a good mood so you two ladies can collaborate on a presentation responding to the essay prompt. Record the presentation and send it to me by midnight Sunday. How does that sound?”

The two girls nodded their heads in agreement and relief before walking out together.

“How do you want to do this? I’m Zara by the way.”

YN muttered a small sigh of relief. Yes! A partner who would take charge and wouldn’t leave YN to do all the work. She flashed Zara a small smile. “I’m YN! And we should start today. Plan today, film Saturday, and edit Sunday.”

Zara frowned. “I can’t do tonight...I’m having an end of the year party at my place.” she responded simply.

“Oh.” YN deadpanned. So Zara was probably the type to push all the work on YN. “When does it start?”

“7 ish”

“Was this your last class?”

“No. I have class until 12.”

“Same here. Can we meet after 12 and we can finish when you need to get ready for your party?” YN mentally patted herself on the back. There was no way Zara could get out of this.

“Yeah fine.” sighed. “Give me your number. We can meet at my house.”

***

YN pulled into Zara’s driveway where she was quickly rushed into a small room cramped in the very back of the house by the host herself.

“Look I have people coming over later to help me set up so I’ll be in and out a lot to check on them.” Zara said matter of factly as she sat beside YN and pulled out her laptop.

An hour in, a loud commotion came from the front of the house and Zara sprung to her feet to open the door for her friends. YN continued working on the presentation and didn’t notice how long Zara had been away until she was halfway through making the slideshow presentation.

She could hear laughter coming from outside of the room so she figured that she’d slip out quickly to remind Zara they had a presentation to work on. YN creaked the door open and peaked through the crack. She could see people gathered in the kitchen and as soon as she opened the door, YN was met with the aroma of pizza. YN took a few quick breaths to muster up some courage and confidently walked out to confront Zara.

“Uh hey, Zara. I got about halfway done with the presentation but I kinda need your help on it so whenever you’re free.” YN said as she walked into the other girl’s kitchen.

The conversation halted and everyone in the room turned to stare at YN. Suddenly quite self-conscious, YN’s eyes darted away from the others’ gaze and onto the pizza box on the counter.

“Do you want some pizza YN?” a gentle voice asked. A voice that definitely wasn’t Zara’s. A voice that was definitely male.

YN looked up and her face dropped. Standing on the other side of the counter was Shawn Mendes. Her ex-neighbor and ex-friend. The one who bailed on their last hangout. The one she hadn’t spoken a single word to since before their graduation.

“I’m good. Thanks.” YN responded coldly before shifting her body to face Zara. She didn’t have to shift far though since Zara was standing beside Shawn. In fact, his arm was slung around her shoulders. Interesting.

“Just join me when you’re done and I’ll be out of your way.” And with that YN walked back to the room she was in earlier and worked on the presentation with newfound rigor and focus. She just wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible and if that meant finishing without Zara, then so be it.

***

She stayed focused on her laptop screen when YN heard the door creak open. “I’m about done with the presentation so we can wrap this up probably within the hour and-“

“Hi YN.”

YN stopped typing to look up at Shawn who had just closed the door behind him. Now that they were both crammed into this room, YN could see that he’d changed quite a bit since they last saw each other. His hair was longer and curlier. He’d bulked up quite a bit. And...was that a piercing in his ear?

“Zara said you came over as soon as both of you got out of class so I’m assuming you haven’t eaten lunch yet...so I brought you pizza.” Shawn brought a plate out from behind his back and offered it to YN. “It was pepperoni but I know you don’t like that so I picked off all the pepperoni for you.” he added with a smile.

YN stared blankly at the plate and boy in front of her. Once upon a time she probably would’ve appreciated the offer and the fact that Shawn remembered how she liked her pizza but that was the old YN. She’s since changed. “Thanks but I’m not very hungry.” She started typing away and that was the only noise that filled the room for several moments until YN noticed that Shawn was still standing there.

She mustered up a weak smile. “I’m fine. Honest. I don’t really like pizza anyways.”

Shawn’s brows furrowed. “But cheese pizza is your favorite.”

“It WAS my favorite. Things changed.” YN went back to typing, hoping that Shawn got the hint to leave her alone.

Instead, he took a seat beside her. “So…” Shawn started. “Haven’t talked to you in a while.”

YN secretly rolled her eyes and gave a curt nod.

“Probably since the summer. Move in day maybe?”

“Graduation.” she corrected him.

He let out what YN would’ve described as a nervous laugh. “Yeah right. We probably saw each other-“

“No. It was graduation.” she cut in firmly. Or rather it was a couple days before graduation. They hadn’t even spoken to each other during their ceremony. But who was keeping track...Certainly not YN.

“Damn.” he whispered softly.

Another beat of quiet passed.

“How’s life been?”

“Good.”

“Oh...that’s good to hear. Where do you live now?”

“Other side of town.” YN paused before adding “I’m planning on staying with my dad this summer though.”

YN instantly regretted saying that. Saying that she’d be back in her old house this summer. The house that was right next to Shawn’s. It was like she was hoping to get to see Shawn and hang out with him again and that was far from the truth. She wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

She quickly shut her laptop and rushed to put her belongings back in her backpack. “Look I think I’m gonna head back now. Can you tell Zara that I’ll finish the last few slides at home and we’ll text to meet tomorrow to film.”

“Wait-you’re not staying for the party?”

YN let out a quick laugh and shook her head. “Not really my thing. And I don’t really know Zara so I’d feel weird.”

“You know me though.”

She flashed Shawn a weird look, trying to get a read on if Shawn was being serious or not. They haven’t exchanged a single word in the past year and he was acting as if nothing had changed between them. As if they were still friends and neighbors.

“I’m good.” she smiled. YN walked out, muttered her goodbyes to Zara and her other friends who were all laughing at some joke, and got into her car.

***

It was now Saturday morning and Zara was expected to come over any moment now. YN finished up the slides last night and they both agreed to film at YN’s house since Zara’s place was probably a mess from the party last night.

She’d just finished setting up the mic when she heard a car pull up in her driveway.  YN peeked her head into the kitchen where her mother was cooking to announce that her partner was here and ask if she could open the door while YN ran to the restroom really quickly. When YN returned, she was shocked to see her mom and Zara sitting in the living room...with Shawn.

“YN! Oh great! You won’t believe who dropped Zara off. It’s been a while since I last saw you huh Shawn.”

She snapped out of her daze and sat beside her mom on the couch across from Zara and Shawn. “Yeah uh hi guys.”

“So do you guys see each other a lot at school?” her mother innocently asked.

“No. Not really.” YN answered in monotone.

“Yeah I guess we’ve just been busy. And it’s a big campus.” Shawn answered with a bit more inflection.

YN couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh, which pulled a frown from both her mom and Shawn.

“Anyways...I should get going. I just came to drop Zara off” he said before turning to Zara. “Text me when you’re about done.”

“Oh why don’t you stay and we can catch up Shawn! YN said the recording shouldn’t take more than an hour. It’ll save you the trip.”

Zara’s expression perked up at the suggestion and YN practically twisted her neck to shoot her mom a look that expressed “No. Why?”

“Uh if that’s fine with you that’d be great.” Shawn smiled.

“Great! I’ll get some snacks for you kids!” YN’s mom bustled out of the living room to grab whatever she could find in the kitchen, leaving YN, Shawn, and Zara alone.

After a couple seconds of the 3 of them just sitting there and staring at each other, Zara broke the silence. “So let’s hurry this up.”

YN and Zara worked quickly in another room while Shawn and her mom caught up in the living room. The loud laughter and conversation from the room did very little to distract the girls from recording. YN figured they were both eager to wrap up quickly and go on with their Saturday plans. After all, it was supposed to be summer break. Shawn and Zara were dressed to go to the beach or a pool party and YN had a date with her bed and Netflix.

“Okie I think that’s good. We just have to edit and then we’re done.” Zara declared confidently.

“Editing shouldn’t take too long either. Great job! How do you want editing to go? We can meet up or you edit one half and I edit the other half?”

“I don’t think we should split up the editing. It’ll just look and sound weird.”

YN nodded. “Good point. What time are you free tomorrow?”

Zara frowned. “The thing is...I’m not free tomorrow. I’m flying back home at 11 AM. And it’s a 6 hour flight.”

“Oh.” YN’s mind raced with ideas to work this out because there is no way in hell that she’d be editing this all by herself again. “Why don’t you just stay behind a bit. And we can edit together.”

“Shawn and I actually have plans.”

YN let out a frustrated sigh. She was really done with this and just wanted Shawn and Zara out of her house. “Fine. How about I finish editing today and then I’ll send it to you and you look over it before your flight?”

Her partner’s face instantly lit up at the suggestion. “Great! Look at us! Teamwork makes the dream work.” Zara picked up her laptop and made her way back to the living room with YN following in defeat.

“Done?” Shawn asked when he saw the two girls enter the room.

“Yep! YN just has to edit!” Zara answered excitedly as she slid into the seat beside Shawn.

Shawn flashed YN a smile to acknowledge her presence and noted her sullen expression. “Err Zara...are you editing too?”

“No. I have my flight tomorrow remember? YN is going to do it and then I’ll look over it before we turn it in. You wanna go now?”

He looked back at YN with concern. “Zara why don’t you stay and help edit for a while. We still got time and I’m still talking with Mrs…” Shawn’s eyes widened when he caught his mistake. “Sorry I mean Miss…”

YN’s mother simply laughed. “It’s alright Shawn! Just call me by my first name. We can skip all the formalities love.”

Shawn nodded and reverted his attention back to his girlfriend. “How does that sound?”

Zara shot Shawn a cold glare and begrudgingly got back up to help YN edit.

One hour later, the girls finished editing and decided to submit the assignment early just to get it over with. Zara returned to the living room with a smile, knowing that this time she and Shawn were definitely leaving.

“What are your plans for today?” YN’s mom inquired as she walked their guests to the door.

“We’re going to the beach today with some friends!” Zara responded with a smile.

“Oh that sounds nice! Have fun dears.” YN’s mom closed the door behind her and and then turned to YN.

“You going to ever tell me what happened between you and Shawn?” she asked with a raised brow.

“It’s nothing. We just stopped talking.”

“Mhm...well I hope you’re not busy today. I’m going to need you to run by the the farmer’s market to buy some food.”

[filmmakign]

this is super long sorry to anyone who sees this on their dash 😔

this is a very brief rundown of how things went for my very first week at university and i wanted to share some of my experiences and give some advice !!!

accidentally kicked a squirrel - squirrels on campus are absolutely fearless. they won’t move, even if you get close, and if you happen to get too close and they still won’t move, you will kick them. be wary of the squirrels they are hunting for you. ALSO ?? the male squirrels here have such big balls, they drag on the floor i was so scared of the male squirrel i kicked because oh my GOD??

the pool here sucks - it’s not even a part of our rec center/gym for some reason?? it’s part of the physical education building and is only 10 or 15m, has 6 lanes and its deepest is 6 feet. the outdoor pool is open until september, but it’s usually not even open for the public. i cannot tell you how many times i complained about the pool to my friends.

SHARING IS CARING!!! - i’m taking some art classes that require hella expensive supplies, and a new friend and classmate of mine are just sharing things that can be shared (pads of tracing paper, card stock, pencil sharpeners, etc etc). it may not seem like a lot, but these things build up in price over time and amount, so we decided to share some things and split the cost (we both ended up saving around 128 USD

i’m scamming my way out of buying textbooks lmaooo - some textbooks i found online (thank goodness). some textbooks i’m borrowing from upperclassmen. for my online textbooks, i had to buy them because they have assignments and quizzes attached to them that are graded. i also but for the really expensive textbooks, i’m just going to the library, scanning the pages i need each week, and emailing them to my university email. it’s so easy and saves you so much money. a little time consuming and inconvenient? sure, but i set aside an easy 25-30 minutes each week to scan my books. also, for one textbook that i couldn’t find online or in the library, i’m splitting costs with a friend to share our rented textbook. saved about 200 USD just by sharing a rented textbook, finding them online, and using the library :)

ratemyprofessor made my english professor sound okay, but they were being stupidly generous - she teaches from the already shitty textbook (which is just a bunch of templates for generic “smart sounding phrases”) and participation is a whopping 40%?? she won’t let us use our laptops in class even though half the class is just writing essays in class ?? she smells like strong cigarettes and it fills the whole room. her english class is easy and the essays (which i looked at ahead of time on the course schedule and syllabus) are stupidly easy, but she’s going to be hard to deal with and is weirdly rude to former IB and GSCE students for some reason. 

i need a new weekly bujo layout - my simple layout of just writing down what was due that day wasn’t working out. now i have a section for work due that week (with the dates they’re due) + my normal everyday spread for what assignments to work on that day so i’m ahead of schedule.

new friends!!! - i made like, 10 friends in 3 days, but only 3 of them are girls and i think i just fit in easily as one of the guys lmaoooo, and one of them is the son of the very first VSA president here? interesting guy.

steal from the dining hall - don’t like. sneak in or anything, but grab a to-go box (i use a reusable glass or plastic one) to take your “leftovers” and eat them at some other time or add them to other meals that you make back in the dorm kitchen lol

had some fun !! - my university has parties and social events during the first two weeks of school to welcome everyone back to the new school year. i won’t join any clubs officially yet until the activities fair next week, but i’m excited to get involved! 

my math professor is hot as fuck - he also goes at a good pace for my brain, which is already acquainted with fast IB teaching styles. thank u professor z for existing.

hot people everywhere ??? - wow??? hot girls ????? cute girls ??? hot guys??? HOT GIRLS IN NURSING WHO ARE HOT AND SMART ???? ghgskdhgkshkg THE HOT GUY ON MY FLOOR WHO I SCARED BECAUSE I LOOKED LIKE A GREMLIN IN MY HOODIE AND BLOODSHOT EYES WHILE STUDYING IN THE STUDY LOUNGE ???? and then i later ran into him around the corner and knocked his phone out of his hand. my guy, if you are out there,,,,, i’m sororyr, ,,, let me flirirht with you hakfdhksahf