#its different than the other two for. some reason.
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starmapz · 3 days ago
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what you know - ch1: fallen angel || r. sukuna
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❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. mutual pining. smut. slow burn. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.1k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || next chapter - coming soon
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You make a point of not judging a book by its cover. So, when paired with the college’s resident bad boy for the literal most important project of the year, you just nod to yourself. Of course, you’re aware of his very poor attendance record among other things you’ve heard about him. At the end of the day, the rest is all hearsay, so you’ll treat him the same as you would any other group project partner.
Searching around the lecture hall until your gaze lands on him, you shoot him a kind smile. You don’t expect him to return it, he practically always sports a disinterested or aloof expression and now is one of those times, it would seem. He’s wearing his usual oversized but fairly stylish shirt, baggy cargo pants and a leather jacket, even though it’s quite warm inside. One airpod sits in his ear, only half paying attention.
The two of you are practically polar opposites. You, who shows up to class ten minutes early, jots down every note you possibly can, and turns in projects a week early, not to mention your fairly preppy style, makes the two of you about as different as it gets. On top of that, there were moments where Sukuna would dip into a room late and you would wonder why he bothers paying for college at all. Does he even want to be here?
Turning back to your laptop, you decide you’ll set up some documents for your project to get ahead of everything and stop worrying about someone else’s life. You’ll just have to make the most of the project. Besides, Sukuna could be the best project partner you’ll ever work with.
Upon dismissal, you wait a moment for the room to clear before slinging your pale pink bag over your shoulder, holding your books to your chest and making your way up the lecture hall to where Sukuna’s seated.
“Hey, nice to meet you, I’m-”
“I know who you are,” he sighs. “I’m Sukuna.”
Rude. “Right,” you swallow, blinking twice as you attempt to clear your mind of the less than ideal first impression. “So, I was thinking since we need to analyze three paintings, I can choose one, you can choose one and we can do the work separately and then work together on the last one-”
“Sure, whatever.”
You purse your lips. That was easy. Or does he just not care? Brushing off the thought, you nod slowly. “Okay. Great,” you mumble somewhat nervously, unsure if the reason your voice is wavering is out of fear that you’re doomed from the project, or the fact that Sukuna is hardly giving you the time of day and it’s somewhat imposing.
Finding the nerve to meet his gaze, you find that it seems he’s barely paying attention. His deep near-crimson eyes accented by tattoos are trained off to the side, one hand in his pocket and the other is fiddling with an unlit cigarette. You have half a mind to wonder if he’s heard a damn thing you’ve said given the airpod still hanging from his pierced lobe.
“Do you, um,” you worry your lip between your teeth as you mentally reset to stop yourself from stammering. “Do you want to go over anything before we do our parts?”
“Nah.”
Nah? Oh my god, you’re doomed. 
“Okay. No problem. Um, why don’t we just meet after class next Friday?”
Sukuna balances the unlit cigarette between his lips, shuffling to pull out his phone and open his calendar. “Sure,” he agrees, his words muffled by the cigarette.
“Great! I think we’ll want to start working on the third piece next week so I’ll choose the first painting and get started on it and then we can choose the last painting next week,” you say, putting the date in your calendar as well. “Oh! And we should exchange numbers.”
He hums in agreement, not even giving you the time for words now but he does give you his number. Realizing you aren’t about to get anywhere else with him, you shoot him a wry smile and make your way out the door.
Oh Shoko is so gonna hear about this.
Before you know it, next Friday comes around and when you turn your gaze to where Sukuna usually sits, you realize he just isn’t there.
Well that’s… lovely.
Leaning forward on your elbows, you groan with your face in your hands. This project was sure to be a nightmare at this rate. You could already see yourself going to talk to the professor about how Sukuna hadn’t done an ounce of work and it was all done by you.
Opening your laptop, you stare at the document you’d put together for Persistence of Memory, which may be an obvious choice but you love the painting too much to choose a different one.
Maybe you should just choose the third one on your own.
Maybe you should just choose the second one on your own…
Fuck.
You sigh, glancing back at Sukuna’s empty seat once more, and to your surprise just as you begin to give up hope upon seeing his seat empty, he ambles through the door in an oversized hoodie and sweats as though the lecture didn’t end fifteen minutes ago.
His gaze meets yours and he tilts his chin upwards at you, a silent message for you to take a seat near him.
Gathering your belongings, you take your laptop over to him, setting it on the table beside him in the mostly-empty lecture hall.
“Hey,” you greet him, receiving a grunt in response. “I was starting to think you were gonna flake out on me,” you joke with a somewhat nervous laugh when you meet his striking gaze. His disinterested eyes bore into you as he examines your nervous expression, and it’s then that you notice that- “are you okay?”
He sighs, heavy with exasperation, running a hand over his sharp features. His hair is still damp, not spiked up as usual as it hangs over his forehead, he has dark circles that make him look like he hasn’t slept in years, and his leg is shaking up and down like he’s got somewhere else to be.
“I’m fine,” he grumbles, unimpressed that you’ve noticed how horribly disheveled he looks, but he brushes it off. “You got somethin’ to show me?”
“I, um-” you pause, casting him one last uncertain glance at the fact that oh my god, he looks sick? “Yeah, so I chose a Salvador Dalì piece,” you tell him, nudging your laptop towards him so that he can see your analysis.
He casts a glance at it, and it’s then that you realize that he doesn’t seem to have a laptop on him. Hm.
He seems to have noticed your confusion as he pulls out his phone, fiddling with it for a moment or two before setting it in front of you. “Had to do something before our meeting, so I don’t have my computer right now, but here’s what I’ve got so far.”
You flash him a curious glance before staring at his phone screen, reading through his notes quietly. The Fallen Angel painted by Alexandre Cabanel. You can’t say you’re shocked, but it’s a good choice. His analysis is short and needs more detail, but it’s a good start and fairly insightful. Sukuna lacks elegance with his words, but this is just the research phase anyway. Okay, not a bad start.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
To your surprise, although he’s mostly quiet, he gives you some input on your analysis and hums in agreement when you ask him to write a bit more in certain areas to match your research. He doesn’t even seem that bothered by it, only mildly inconvenienced. You would almost argue that he was agreeable if you couldn’t feel the side-eye you were receiving from him.
When you finally settle on C. Allan Gilbert’s All is Vanity for your final piece, Sukuna excuses himself quite quickly and makes his way out, grunting in agreement when you ask him to meet you at the same time next week. You had hoped to get some research done with him but this would have to do, and hopefully you would have more time next week.
Only… when next week comes, he doesn’t show. You lean over the desk where Sukuna usually sits, figuring maybe he’s just late again, but as the clock rolls past the thirty minute mark, you begin to lose hope. Tapping your fingers rhythmically over the desk as you stare at the clock, you resign to texting him.
3:39 PM || You: hey! just wondering if youre on your way
Another twenty minutes of staring at the sent text does you no good and you can’t really get much done without Sukuna’s portion, so with a sigh, you push yourself up and call Shoko to go out with you. At least now you can make the most of your Friday night, even if it’s a bit earlier than intended.
“He just completely no-showed, huh?”
“Not even a text,” you confirm with a groan, keeping your attention on the road as you make your way to the bar by Shoko’s house. The afternoon sun glints on the windshield of your car, warming the interior of the vehicle rather comfortably for the early autumn day.
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Shoko hums at the thought.
“I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, I mean honestly his research wasn’t too bad,” you sigh, casting a glance at your best friend.
“Could still be salvageable. Maybe try asking him what works for him?” She suggests with a shrug, leaning back in her seat as she stares blankly out the windshield.
“I don’t know. I think if I leave things up to him, he just won’t do it.”
“Oh, because he’s been so good at showing up when you organize things?” She chides with a raised brow.
You suppose you can’t really argue with that, so you groan in response. “At least he has a good taste in art.”
“Yeah?”
“A little edgy, but yeah. He chose The Fallen Angel, you know the one that-” you pause, moving your arm over your face to mimic the famous painting while keeping your eyes on the road and one hand on the wheel.
“Oh yeah, I think I know the one,” she agrees with a chuckle at your description. “I think I’ve seen-” she pauses as your car comes to a slow halt at a stop light. You shoot her a questioning glance when she remains quiet. “Speak of the devil. Isn’t that him?”
“Sukuna?” You question, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of whatever Shoko’s looking at.
Sure enough, the pink-haired man in question is on the sidewalk along with two young kids. He seems frustrated, his hand flying in the air in obvious exasperation and you wonder what his relation to them is. Your first thought is that they could be his, but the older of the two kids is just a bit too old to make that assumption.
Still, you didn’t take Sukuna as someone enthusiastic at the thought of being a babysitter.
“Shit, that is him,” Shoko confirms for herself. When the light turns green, the car jolts forward as you pull through a lane abruptly to turn and grab street parking very suddenly. “Woah, what are you-? You can’t be serious.”
“I-” your words die in your throat. Are you serious? What are you doing? It’s not like you’re friends. Are you here to confront him about not showing up? No, you aren’t really even mad, just frustrated at most. Your mind flashes back to how he’d looked the week before, like he could pass out at any moment, and you wonder if you’re here out of concern. “I don’t know,” you mumble, parking your car and hopping out.
“You are serious,” she mutters more to herself than you as she watches you leave the car with a sigh, following a short distance behind you.
The day is relatively warm for the early fall, the sun shining high overhead and providing a comfortable escape from the brisk breeze. Leaves are losing their vibrant green colors overhead, replaced with beautiful hues of yellows, oranges, and reds, and the sound of them rustling in the breeze is refreshing.
From around the corner, you can just barely make out Sukuna’s words. You were right to assume he was frustrated.
“Give it back to your brother,” he instructs, his voice a near-growl, but as the younger of the two kids whines in complaint, you can tell neither kid seems all that intimidated even by the almost seven-foot-tall man made of pure muscle who towers over them.
“No!”
“C’mon brat, I don’t have time for this,” he hisses out, voice rife with irritation. As you round the corner, lightly jogging up to Sukuna, you watch his gaze slowly turn to land on you and Shoko, his eyes widening for a moment as his expression shifts to surprise. For a moment you even think you see horror flash through his eyes, but he masks it all with his usual disinterested expression before you have time to think much about it.
“Sukuna?”
“That’s me,” he grumbles, running a hand through his tousled hair in exasperation.
“Hi! I’m Yuji!” The younger of the two boys bounds up to you, blatantly ignoring Sukuna as he waves to Shoko behind you.
You grin at him, kneeling down to his height as you greet him with your name. His eyes are filled with delight and as you get back to your feet, you put the pieces together. These must be Sukuna’s little brothers. Although the older of the two doesn’t particularly look like him, the youngest is a near carbon copy of Sukuna, only lacking his tattoos, piercings, and his signature attitude.
“What a cutie,” you coo at the little boy, who can’t be any older than five. The older of the two boys doesn’t resemble Sukuna in the same way Yuji does, with sunken eyes and unkempt long brown hair, he looks to be about eleven… and he also looks like he’s about to burst into tears.
“Don’t feed his ego,” Sukuna huffs, watching you interact with Yuji with his hands shoved in his pockets.
“Look! Look!” Yuji excitedly holds his hands out to you. You recognize an old GameBoy in his hands, something you’re sure you have hidden away somewhere in your own apartment from your childhood.
“I had one of those when I was young,” you tell him, glancing up at Sukuna whose left brow slowly raises.
“Really? Do you like Pokemon?”
“Yuji, that’s enough. Leave her alone and give it back to your brother,” Sukuna instructs, his frustration laced within his words.
“No! Choso’s playing it wrong,” he argues.
Sukuna looks like he’s about to burst. If he were a balloon, he’d be floating dangerously close to a pin, and it’s in that moment that you finally get a good look at him. If you thought he looked sickly last week, he looks like he’s about to collapse now.
His eyes are sunken, skin pale, and although he’s making an effort to mask it, his focus seems as though it’s drifting while he simply stands there. His hair is disheveled in a way that doesn’t look intentional and there’s a stain on the abdomen of his shirt. Which, to your surprise, is also a uniform for a local food distribution warehouse. He’s wearing cargo pants, steel-toed boots, and a blue polo shirt. It’s a strange look for him, but you’re more concerned about the fact that he seems to be swaying, he’s so tired.
“I wasn’t playing it wrong!” Choso argues back, leaping at his brother as they get into a scuffle, and it’s barely a split second before Yuji is in tears alongside Choso.
“Fucking-” Sukuna cuts himself off, taking a step forward.
Instinctively, you step in before Sukuna needs to. “Hey, hey!” You coo softly, leaning back down to them. “Why don’t you both play together?” Yuji’s sobs don’t stop at your suggestion, although Choso backs away from the younger boy, listening to what you have to say with a heartbreakingly sad expression over something so simple. Life was so much easier at their age.
“How?” Yuji asks through sobs.
“Why don’t you take turns? It’s Pokemon, right?” You ask, earning a nod from Yuji as he sniffles and wipes his face, his sleeve absolutely covered in tears and snot already. “Why don’t you pass it over between each battle?”
Yuji stares at you skeptically, as though the little boy cannot possibly fathom sharing. Choso quietly waits for his brother to come to a conclusion as his sniffles subside, all the while Sukuna just watches the entire scene unfold with a furrowed brow.
“Okay,” Yuji finally agrees in a small voice. “But I go first!”
To your surprise, Choso seems fine with this as they both crowd around the game.
When you stand back up, you’re happy to find that Sukuna looks absolutely relieved.
“Fuck, thought I’d never hear the end of that,” he mumbles, making you wonder if that’s his begrudging way of thanking you.
You chuckle quietly, crossing your arms over your chest with a small shrug. “I’m good with kids,” you tell him. He eyes you for a moment, humming, but doesn’t say anything. After a brief silence, you glance back up at him to find the tall man’s tired gaze still boring into you.
“Ask,” he instructs.
Your brow raises. “Ask?”
“You wanna ask where I was today, right?”
That obvious, huh? “I did wait for an hour.”
A hint of a smirk graces his lips as he snidely comments, “y’know, I’m sure I’ve had other women wait longer.” You aren’t sure how he expects you to react, but the way you raise a brow and don’t entertain his lewd implications clearly doesn’t encourage him to continue. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he clicks his tongue and turns his head away from you. “Had to pick up a shift at work. Was gonna text but the little brat broke my phone yesterday.”
“Sorry, Kuna,” Yuji’s voice is small as you realize he’s been listening the whole time now that Choso is holding the GameBoy. His cheeks are puffy and red still from crying, but god he sure is a mini Sukuna.
“Kunaaaa?” You coo teasingly at the absolutely adorable nickname.
“He can’t say my name,” Sukuna grumbles, suppressing his irritation as best as he can, given that you did save him from further arguments with his brothers and he did already test his limits with you anyway. Still, his nose wrinkles in distaste at the nickname as he stares at the ground with a huff.
“That’s so cute!” You practically squeal, eyes bright as you grin at the hulking mass of anger and maybe even embarrassment as his cheeks heat up before your eyes.
“Shut up,” he hisses, still avoiding your gaze.
“It’s alright, by the way. We can figure out another time to meet.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll text-” he cuts himself off, blinking at the realization that he has no phone. “I’ll email you or some shit.”
“Email. Right,” you sarcastically tease with a tilt of your head. A muscle in Sukuna’s jaw visibly twitches and he huffs.
“Take it or leave it.”
You raise your hands in the air defensively, unable to help your amused smile. As silence falls over the both of you, interrupted only by Choso’s quiet commentary to Yuji about their game, you let your expression morph to one of concern again. Your lips part to ask if Sukuna’s alright, but he beats you to it.
“I’m fine.” His voice is low and strained and you both know you don’t believe him.
“You look it,” you challenge him sarcastically.
Sukuna’s jaw tenses as he stares you down as if daring you to challenge him again. Luckily for him, you’re willing to let it go.
“Do you guys need a ride somewhere?” You ask, glancing back in the direction of your car. Shoko is probably itching to get to the bar, though surely she won’t mind your offer given that the man in front of you looks like he could melt into a puddle if it only meant he could sleep.
“No.”
“Yeah!”
Sukuna and Yuji stare at one another as they both respond at the same time.
“No. We’re fine,” Sukuna growls, narrowing his eyes at the young boy.
“I don’t wanna walk anymooooore,” Yuji complains, shooting Choso a pleading look. Catching on, Choso shoots Sukuna a pair of puppy dog eyes. God the two of them are just adorable.
“No, both of you. Cut it out. Now.” Sukuna’s voice drops an octave as he hisses the last word.
“I really don’t mind,” you say quietly, leaning closer to him in an attempt to keep your words between the two of you.
“I don’t need your help,” Sukuna protests, taking a step towards you with massive muscular arms folding over his chest as his polo shirt is pulled taut from the movement.
“So if I give you a little push, you won’t fall over and pass out?”
“No.” He scowls defensively as he stares back at his two brothers, not noticing the way you slowly reach your hand out before shoving him lightly. He sways backwards slightly, catching himself before he actually does fall over as he swats at your hand. “Fucking- What the fuck is wrong with you?” He grouses, voice dripping with irritation and anger, although it doesn’t reach his eyes. He just looks tired.
“Let me drive you where you need to go and I’ll stop,” you taunt, moving your hand forward to shove him again.
Now paying attention, he grabs your wrist before you can push him. “Christ, you’re almost as much of a brat as my brothers,” he huffs, fiery eyes hyper-focused on your cheerful demeanor in spite of the fact that he’s been nothing short of snappy with you since you first showed up. “You’ll stop because I said so, not because I’m agreeing, got that?”
You shrug, shooting him a smile that says you won. “Whatever you say, Sukuna.”
He drops your wrist with a dramatic sigh before ushering his brothers after you as you turn to make your way back to your car.
“Can’t say I know what just happened,” Shoko whispers in your ear as she walks alongside you to your car. “But I’m surprised he agreed.”
“I’m not. He’s barely awake,” you tell her as you both cast a glance back at him. He doesn’t seem to notice as he bickers with his brothers, telling them to keep up if they want a ride from you.
“Yeah, he looks like shit,” she chuckles with a shake of her head. Never one to beat around the bush, but she is right.
Unlocking your car, you open the back door as Sukuna lifts his youngest brother into the backseat, grumbling about the two boys needing to behave before he climbs in himself, completely blocking your view through your rearview mirror.
He huffs and puffs as he gives you his address, choosing not to say a word throughout the ride as he listens to you chat with Shoko, muttering only the occasional “cut it out” or “stop that, brat” to one of his brothers.
Rolling up to what you assume is his apartment, you put the car in park and turn your attention back to the boys, putting on your best radio voice.
“Thank you for riding, please exit to your left and have a greeeeeat day!” You earn a sweet laugh from Yuji and a calm smile from Choso for your antics. You can practically feel Sukuna’s exasperation as it comes off of him in waves, clearly done with the world for the day, but you don’t miss the silent relief gleaming in his eyes.
“What do you say?” Sukuna gruffs, nudging the youngest of his brothers who you’re obviously putting on the show for.
“Thank you, miss!” He grins brightly as Sukuna opens the door and lowers him to the ground. He hands Choso a pair of keys, nudging them along to the door of the run-down building. To your surprise, he shuts the door and comes around to your side, knocking on the window.
You tilt your head as you roll down the window.
“Thanks…” he trails off as though the word is sour on his tongue, shooting a glance at Shoko in a silent gesture of thank you to her as well.
“No problem. Go get some sleep,” you tell him softly. Frustration flashes through his eyes as you tell him what to do but he’s not about to lash out at the person responsible for his grade who also gave him a ride home. Even he’s not that much of an asshole.
He sets a hand on your hood, pausing for a moment before he runs a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up more than it already was. “Do me a favor and don’t mention this to anyone, yeah?”
You tilt your head, exchanging a glance with Shoko as he looks between the two of you. “Yeah. No problem.”
His hand slides off your car as he rounds the vehicle to follow after his brothers. He pauses to cast a glance at you, before pushing into the front lobby of his apartment building and out of sight.
Silence falls over both you and Shoko as you watch the tattooed man disappear into the building when Choso holds the door open for him.
“That was fucking weird,” Shoko comments.
“Hm?” You hum as you pull out of the apartment, unsure of what she means. Of course Sukuna would have a life Shoko had never thought about, it’s not like they were close, you aren’t sure what she was expecting.
“He wasn’t a complete dick.”
Shooting Shoko a confused glance, you purse your lips. “Is he known for that? I thought he was just a bit of a delinquent.”
“Yeah, that too, but he’s pretty well-known for being snappy with people and snarky to profs.”
“Oh,” you blink twice in thought, keeping your eyes on the road. “I don’t know. He’s pretty quiet in Art History, this project is the first time I’ve ever talked to him. I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Huh,” Shoko shrugs, “guess you’re on his good side, then.” She sighs, leaning back in her seat once again. “Oh well, you have blackmail on him anyway, so there’s no way he’s bailing on you now,” she grins with a teasing smirk.
Your eyes widen and you move your elbow to nudge her. “Absolutely not, and don’t you think about it either!”
Shoko chuckles, though you know she wouldn’t anyway. Much like you, she’s too kind to spill Sukuna’s secrets to the school, regardless of her opinions or thoughts on him.
As you return home from the bar late that night with a comfortable buzz that had left you needing to keep your car at the bar overnight, you pour yourself a glass of water and open your laptop on your bed, letting it boot up while you change into an oversized cozy beige hoodie with little bows adorning the sleeves.
Pulling the sleeves of the hoodie down over your hands and throwing on a pair of shorts, you run a hand through your hair and log into your laptop, pulling it onto your lap to browse social media, when something catches your eye.
You don’t pay much attention to your email inbox most of the time. Maybe you should, after all the college sends you a fair amount of emails and you’ve missed some in the past, but what catches your eye is certainly not from the faculty.
It’s a response to the document you sent Sukuna via email last week.
Oh shit, he was serious about sending you an email.
Maybe it’s because you're drunk, or maybe it’s because the idea of the nearly seven foot tall tattooed man who you’d watched leave class once just to smoke sending you an email of all things is a truly funny thought, but you snicker to yourself as you open it.
[email protected] - Saturday, 1:17 AM hey. you around this weekend
Your snicker turns to a full laugh as you read the message. You can’t decide if the message feels like a sad attempt at a booty call, an old man attempting to text via email, or an embarrassing attempt to save his bruised ego since he can’t text you.
You’d learned from Shoko at the bar earlier that Sukuna has quite the reputation. Supposedly he’s known for bringing a woman home at every party, for being able to smooth talk his way into the bedroom in spite of his usually grumpy and ill-mannered demeanor, and for being able to always get what he wants even though he has a reputation for being an asshole. So it’s hard not to laugh when that same man is the one who just sent you the most awkward email. At one in the morning. On a Saturday.
Oh my god.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:12 AM Hey Sukuna! I’m around tomorrow afternoon and all day Sunday. Did you have time to work on the project?
You hit send and shut your laptop, deciding to brush your teeth and begin getting ready to get some rest. Taking off your makeup and brushing your hair, you finish up your nighttime routine and decide on a whim to see if your project partner has responded to you.
Getting under the covers and leaning against the headboard of your bed, you open your laptop again. To your surprise, your inbox has gone up by one.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:19 AM cool. come by mine tomorrow whenever
You snicker to yourself as you read the message again. He’s certainly not fighting either the sad booty call or old man texting via email allegations.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:23 AM Had to leave my car at the bar, did you wanna come by my place?
To your surprise, it’s only a couple of minutes later when he replies.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:25 AM uhhh i gotta watch over the brats
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:26 AM Bring them!! They’re so cute :)
You can practically feel his irritated grumbles through the screen when not even a minute later he responds.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:26 AM fine. address and time
With a satisfied smile, you let him know to drop by at two in the afternoon and send him your address before shutting your laptop.
As you lay down in bed, you can’t help but wonder what a strange little world you’ve somehow managed to squeeze your way into. Sukuna’s world. Maybe it’s because he’s easy to tease, maybe it’s the undeniable fact that he’s a good looking guy, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s actually surprised you more than once now and you’re somewhat enjoying the project more than you initially thought you would, but you can’t help but find yourself fascinated by him.
Come to think of it, you wonder if maybe Shoko’s comment has something to do with it. You think back to the way that she mentioned that he was oddly agreeable and, well, not a dick, and you wonder if it’s a curiosity to get to know this side of Sukuna that no one seems to know that compels you to be laying in bed at two in the morning thinking about the situation.
Regardless, you fall asleep with a calm little smile.
Glancing at the clock, you have half a mind to wonder if Sukuna will actually show up. Sure, he was the one who reached out, but maybe you should have just bussed to your car rather than waiting on Shoko to drive you to it and gone to his place on your own given that you can’t text him to ask where he is and it’s almost two thirty in the afternoon.
You could email him.
No… no. You aren’t about to email him.
You almost laugh to yourself at the thought.
Returning to your coffee, you keep at your work, refining your notes until you have something you think you can confidently write a full thesis about, when finally there’s a buzz at your door.
Speak of the devil. You buzz him up and there's a knock at your apartment door a few moments later.
“Cut that out,” Sukuna hisses practically the moment you open the door. You raise a brow at him and he sighs. “The brat, not you,” he clarifies, nudging Yuji.
You shoot him a sweet smile, suppressing a chuckle. Sukuna is dressed in a leather jacket, a plain white V-Neck and a pair of ripped jeans. In comparison to his usual baggy cargo pants and hoodie, he almost seems like he’s dressed up a bit and you can’t help but smile at the thought. More importantly though, the dark circles beneath his eyes are just a bit faded in comparison to when you had spotted him yesterday and you can tell he was able to get a bit of rest.
Yuji is excitedly looking up at you and attempting to tug on Sukuna’s hand while Choso stands behind his brother silently, his expression neutral.
“Hey guys, c’mon in.” You grin as you open the door for them, watching Yuji bound in ahead of his older brothers. He begins looking around with wide eyes, so full of wonder and excitement that you can’t help but smile.
“Such sweet kids,” you comment as Sukuna stands beside you, sighing as both brothers practically run to the sofa, looking around your little apartment excitedly.
“Yeah, whatever.”
You giggle at Sukuna, nudging him playfully. The glare he shoots you as he grunts seems to lack the usual malice his expressions hold and he runs a hand through his well-groomed hair, motioning for you to lead the way.
You show him to your little desk at the back of the apartment, pulling up a kitchen chair for yourself as you give him your office chair. He silently obliges, sitting down with his legs spread.
“One moment,” you mumble, heading into your room briefly before reappearing with none other than your old GameBoy, complete with a copy of Pokemon Ruby. Sukuna’s gaze is tethered to you and although his expression doesn’t change, you see surprise flash across his crimson irises as you walk up to the boys, kneeling in front of them.
“Choso, do you want to use my old GameBoy?” You ask the brown-haired young man, holding it out to him. His eyes are wide with surprise as Yuji’s jaw drops open. Choso nods, not saying a word as he flips the device and eyes the game. If it’s even possible, his eyes widen further and he smiles shyly.
“Are you sure?”
“More than sure. I bet there’s some neat Pokemon on that file,” you tell him.
The two boys exchange a grin and Choso thanks you profusely as he turns on the system.
“No problem. There’s a TV in my room, why don’t you two hang out in there and you don’t need to listen to your brother and I talk about boring art, hm?”
Yuji nods excitedly, bounding to his feet and grabbing your hand. Your heart swells at the action as you lead him and Choso to your room and hand them the remote. It takes all of a moment for both of them to begin bickering about what to watch, though you notice their arguments are fairly one-sided, with Choso being much quieter than his younger brother.
Leaving the two of them to their own devices, you make your way back out to Sukuna, who’s set his laptop on your desk and draped his jacket over the back of his chair. He’s wearing a white band tee with a deep V-neck for a metal band you aren’t familiar with, though the sleeves are torn off. With arms crossed over his chest and tattooed muscular arms on display, it’s undeniable just how attractive he is.
The real surprise is when he turns his head to look at you and his sharp eyes are, strangely, filled with… well you aren’t quite sure. Uncertainty? Confusion?
You subtly tilt your head when you take a seat on the kitchen chair beside him. His chair spins to face you as he examines you.
“Is something wrong?”
Sukuna’s adam's apple bobs as he swallows, before shaking his head. “Nah. Let’s just get this shit over with,” he grumbles, opening his laptop and turning his research document towards you. He’s clearly taken a look at yours, because his notes are in a similar format and he has about as much written as you, not to mention he’s put some work into research on the third painting you two had chosen.
Your brows raise as you read through it. “Wow, this is really good.”
He scoffs. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
You chuckle in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to come off that way, I just-” you pause, leaning back in your chair. Aside from the subtle sounds of Pokemon and the TV in the background, the only sound that breaks the silence as you pause is the squeaking of your chair. “I don’t know. When you were late and then you just didn’t show up, I…” you trail off, not wanting to accuse him of something that clearly isn’t true.
“You assumed the worst.”
Your mouth opens but any words you had in your defense die on your tongue, casting your glance to the side as you search for something, anything, to explain your thought process. No matter what way you try to word it, you’re definitely the bad guy here.
“It’s fine. Everyone does.”
Your brow furrows but before you can ask what he means, Choso is surprising you as he taps on your arm. You turn your attention to the young boy, who’s looking up at you with gleaming eyes.
“You have Rayquaza,” he states, arms outstretched to show you a serpentine creature on the GameBoy.
Your curiosity twists to easy mirth as you smile at him. “I guess I do, huh?”
Choso’s arms fall back down in front of him as he stares down at the Pokemon. His eyes flicker up to you briefly, then back down. “You have Groudon too.”
You can’t help your amused laugh. He’s such a sweet and shy little boy, but he talks just like Sukuna. Straight to the point, blunt, and rather short. He may not look like Sukuna like Yuji does, but his speech is just like his older brother’s.
“Leave her alone,” Sukuna mumbles gruffly from beside you. Choso smiles up at him before bounding back to your room. You can hear the two of them gearing up to play the games together from across the apartment, the game’s music heard in mismatched double as they both turn up the volume.
Turning back to Sukuna, your trail of thought is completely gone. “What was I saying?”
“You got any music? The brat’s game’s been drivin’ me crazy,” Sukuna mutters. “Yuji broke my laptop’s speakers,” he sighs.
“He’s on a hot streak for breaking things, huh?” You giggle.
“Don’t get me started.”
You turn in your seat, pointing towards the wall where a table sits with a fairly nice record player on it, and a shelf of records. They’re organized by artist and their sleeves range from new-looking to clearly well-loved.
Getting to his feet, Sukuna follows to where you point, curiously staring at the spines of the records. He’s not exactly shocked by most of the choices, but a few of them do stand out to him, and you’re thankful when you hear him sliding something off the shelf and putting it on the player.
You recognize the melody in the air instantly, and grin when Sukuna sits down beside you again. “The Eagles?”
Sukuna doesn’t move as his eyes slowly trail to you. He hums after a moment. “It’s a good album. You have… alright taste.”
In truth, he doesn’t mind your taste in music. Sure, he may not be fond of all of your choices, many in fact, but it would seem the two of you are making a habit out of surprising one another as he has his next album choice in mind already.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you chuckle at his dry attempt at being nice. The corner of Sukuna’s lips twitches up into a hint of a smile. It suits him.
As Hotel California blankets the air in warm strings and simple drum beats, the two of you are able to get a good amount of work done, putting your research together into one well-written and coherent thesis, one to be proud of.
Of course, you still need to put together an actual visual presentation to go with the thesis to be presented, but at least the bulk of the work is over with and you can feel confident in your project without concern anymore.
You have half a mind to get started on the visual portion now as well to get it all finished, but one glance at Sukuna tells you he’s tapped out, and either way you’ve gone through three records at this point as the final track on a Pink Floyd album comes to a close.
As silence falls over your project group, Sukuna lets out a sigh. It’s fairly dark in the room too as the sun sets, and when you check the clock to find it’s already six, you realize that’s likely why your stomach’s been making noises for the last twenty minutes.
“Why don’t you guys all stay for dinner?” You suggest, mostly out of politeness, but you can’t help but feel as though you’re drawn to him. You want to get to know him, know why he’s late so often, why he stays in school just to not show up for classes when it’s his money being blown. After all, it can’t just be his brothers or work, he likely only takes care of them while his parents are at work, surely.
Sukuna wearily glances between you and the door where his little brothers are, before shaking his head. “Nah, I can just make us somethin’ when we get back.”
“I insist,” you grin at him, watching the way a muscle twitches in jaw. “There are some great places nearby, we can just grab takeout while they play games, we’ll only be gone for a moment.”
He remains silent, arms crossed disdainfully over his chest before grimacing, giving in to your overly kind grin.
You settle on a curry restaurant just down the block and grab the boys’ orders, letting them know you’ll be right back. You’re sure you can trust Choso to look after his younger brother for twenty minutes.
As the chilly evening air hits your face, you let out a content hum, peering curiously back to see Sukuna falling into step with you. The two of you are a sight to behold, your appearance preppy and sweet decorated with autumnal colors fitting for the season, while he’s clad in leather and punk attire, the tones of his clothing purely grayscale.
He shoves his hands into his pockets, keeping his mild gaze locked in front of him.
“How old are they, your brothers?”
“Five and twelve,” Sukuna replies, fighting off a yawn and failing.
Amused, you smile up at him. “I’m glad you got some rest last night. I was worried about you.”
His brow twitches as he meets your kind smile. “Worried? About me?” He shoots you an incredulous look, scoffing. When you pout at him, he’s unable to hold back a smirk. It’s the first time you’ve seen him truly at ease and now that you’re alone with him, you notice that he actually seems to be somewhat relaxed.
“Yeah, maybe I was. Shoot me,” you shrug, playfully rolling your eyes.
He snorts, entertained, growing silent although the air that settles over you is comfortable now. Sukuna’s presence is surprisingly calming now that he isn’t constantly regarding you with disinterested gazes and irritated huffs. His expressions remain mild, but his brooding is more infrequent and the tension in his gruff voice has dulled. You would almost think he likes being around you.
As you come up to the curry restaurant, you lean into Sukuna with a point of your finger, silently telling him to enter the restaurant to your right. He pulls the door open for you, trailing closely behind. The atmosphere of the restaurant is busy, the employees behind the counter moving quickly to fulfill orders. Sukuna can only imagine how good the food must be given the line waiting to order, though you assure him it won’t take long.
He casts a glance up at the menu and frowns as he takes in the prices. He can afford to pay for himself, Yuji, and Choso, but not you. He has half a mind to say something, but his pride causes him to choke on the words. He inconspicuously pulls out his phone to take a look at his bank app to see if he can swing anything, but catches a glimpse of an employee not paying attention as he moves quickly towards you, all the while you’re not paying attention either, idly staring at the menu.
The employee about to barrel into you is holding a massive steel bucket and while Sukuna can’t see what’s inside, he doesn’t love the idea of you covered in water or worse.
With an annoyed click of his tongue, he lowers himself slightly, locking a strong arm around your middle and lifting you off the ground. You yelp in surprise, eyes wide as you latch onto his arm for purchase, head whipping around in confusion until you find the employee now walking past the exact spot you were in with boiling hot oil in a bucket.
Your lips purse, a shiver running from the base of your spine up to your nape just as Sukuna drops you to the ground unceremoniously in front of him. Your heels land with a clack on the ground as you catch your balance, your eyes still trailing after the employee that hadn’t been able to see you over the jug of hot oil they carried.
“Pay attention,” he scolds you with a frown.
“Oh my god,” you mutter mostly to yourself, your heart beating out of your chest as you finally look up at your savior. Your eyes flicker down to his arms. Even covered in leather, the way his muscles ripple beneath the fabric with each movement he makes doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “Thank you, S’kuna.”
He shoves his hands in his pocket, nodding. The way you abbreviate his name is painfully close to the nickname he avoids as much as he can, but he can’t bring himself to correct you and in all honesty, he’s not sure why. He lets it slide, clearing his throat as he clears his mind of the way the name seems to shake him.
“Don’t make a habit of it.”
His words feel like they should be scolding, but his tone doesn’t hold the same meaning. As he stares back up at the menu with a stitch in his horribly handsome brow, you can’t help but find yourself confused by the meaning of his words.
You don’t have much time to think about it as your turn to order comes and you find yourself at the counter, giving the employee your order before glancing back at Sukuna. His mouth parts and he hesitates.
“I- uh-”
You’ve never seen him dither in such a way and you tilt your head, blinking in confusion.
“I can’t-”
Frustration flashes through his eyes and you can see his jaw clench as he trips over his words. Flustered isn’t the right word, but his pride is certainly hurt as he finally manages to force out the explanation you need.
“I can’t afford to- uh-”
Again he pauses, his expression burning with irritation as his cheeks heat up, the admission coming at the cost of his ego.
Your face softens in understanding and your soft fingers wrap around his tattooed wrist, pulling him up to the counter.
“I’ve got it. I invited you to stay, it’s on me.” You hold your card out with a kind smile, but Sukuna doesn’t share your sentiment, anger flashing across the crimson of his eyes as he grits his teeth at you.
“I don’t need help,” he hisses, eyes narrowed as his walls go back up right before you.
“That’s not-” your eyes widen as you try to salvage the situation when Sukuna recoils suddenly. You hadn’t intended for him to take your words so personally, you’d just felt it was the right thing to do given that you had invited not only him, but both of his brothers over as well, and suggested the place to begin with. “You can get the next one,” you tell him in hopes of mending the bridge between you.
He examines your expression, finding no traces of malice or ill-will in your features. Frowning, he huffs as he turns to give his order to the poor employee who’d had the displeasure of witnessing Sukuna’s outburst. In his silence, you order for his little brothers as well.
With a dour sigh, the tattooed man moves along to the side to wait for the order, the fact that you paid leaving a sour taste in his mouth. You make your way over to him, leaving a small distance between you.
“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine.”
“Really, I- I-” you stumble over your words as he glares at you. You suppose Shoko had warned you that Sukuna was notoriously an ass, but you hadn’t witnessed it first hand until now. Still, you can’t help but feel like what you’re witnessing isn’t that. At the end of the day he isn’t lashing out for no reason, it’s clear you struck a nerve and you can’t blame him for being hurt by it, even if it’s not what you intended and you don’t fully understand where he’s coming from.
“Drop it,” Sukuna growls, though his anger has subsided somewhat, his gaze cast to the wall.
You blink up at him, hating the way the world seems to hold its breath around you.
You can’t deny that the man who towers over you, covered in tattoos and piercings is intimidating. Between his gruff voice, his mild mannerisms and his disinterested demeanor, he’s tough to read and you really can’t afford to let a rift come between you when you still have to work on your project.
Your lips part to say something but one striking glance from those crimson eyes has the words dying in your throat. Your mouth goes dry as you wrack your brain for anything to stay, but draw a blank.
Sukuna’s brow knits together at the sight of your anxious expression and he shuts his eyes for a moment, sighing.
It takes him a moment to fully cool off and collect his thoughts, but he can see in your eyes that you genuinely meant no harm and he supposes it’s the right thing to do to give you a break for that. You’re just naturally kind and he finds that he needs to remind himself of that.
“It’s… fine,” he murmurs in a strained voice, nudging you with his elbow. You crack a smile at him, thankful when his body language seems to relax somewhat again.
You don’t dare say anything as you wait for your food, fiddling with your phone in your hands as you contemplate his reaction. You obviously hurt his pride unintentionally by offering to pay, but between skipping school for work and the fact that this restaurant isn’t by any means expensive, you have a guess as to why he might have been so affected, one that makes Sukuna’s entire demeanor and his exhaustion click into place like a puzzle.
Before you have a chance to ask him, unsure if you even want to, your name is called and Sukuna is grabbing your order. You reach out to grab one of the bags but Sukuna swiftly holds it overhead with a smirk that doesn’t quite meet his eyes as you pout playfully. He continues to hold the food overhead as he leads the way outside. Watching you trail closely behind him, standing up on your tiptoes in an attempt to reach the bags, he raises a brow.
“Walk, brat.”
You shoot him a look, brow furrowed, before giving in and falling into step alongside him. He brings his arms down, holding the bags on his arms opposite you.
With your mind still preoccupied with thoughts of Sukuna’s earlier outburst, you bring your lower lip between your teeth, mindlessly chewing on it as you stare at the sidewalk beneath your feet.
Sukuna eyes you from his peripherals, taking note of the way you’re deep in thought. “Just fucking ask your question.”
Much like yesterday, Sukuna easily notices the way you glance at him uncertainly, the question on the tip of your tongue. It catches you off-guard how easily he reads you and you fall out of step with him, taking longer strides to catch up after you falter.
“I- um- do you-” you hesitate, casting a glance at his aloof expression. He seems at ease again and you don’t want to burn the bridge you’ve only just managed to mend, out of fear that another fire wouldn’t be put out so easily.
“Yeah.”
You stop in your tracks, blinking in surprise with pursed lips. Sukuna raises a brow at you, only a short distance ahead as he stops too, turning to face you. You can’t read his expression as it remains mild, his questioning brow the only sign that gives away any hint of his thoughts. In a few short strides, you’re back at his side.
“You’re… their guardian?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
Sukuna chews on his tongue piercing mindlessly as he watches the gears turn in your mind, putting together the pieces of the puzzle that had been laid out for you.
Of course Sukuna’s tired if he’s taking care of two young boys, going to college, working, cooking, cleaning, god the list can only go on. You wonder if the reason he seems so at ease right now, so quick to forgive you, is because he’s thankful for the break. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s had time to himself.
“That’s why you missed yesterday.”
He shrugs. “You knew that already.”
“I guess, yeah.” Your turn to shrug. “I just thought it was a temporary thing.”
Sukuna lets out a humorless laugh. “Well it’s not.”
You’re not really sure how to react, in all honesty. You don’t want him to think you pity him, you can’t offer sympathy, you certainly can’t offer help. In your uncertainty, you find yourself continuing to fiddle with your phone, avoiding his gaze.
Sukuna quite simply… turns to leave, deciding to spare you of your discomfort, and him of any more blows to his pride. You jog after him, falling into step again. There are questions left unanswered and sympathies you want to extend, but you can’t bear the thought of hurting him again, even if it’s unintentional, so you bite your tongue.
The sounds of the city surround you, filling the silence. Sirens blare in the distance, trees rustle above you, and casual chatter comes and goes as you pass other groups of people on the way to your apartment. It’s all a welcome distraction as you continue to fiddle with your phone, the air between you two neither tense nor comfortable. It lies somewhere in between and you don’t dare tip the scales out of fear of making your counterpart uncomfortable.
“You play a lot of Pokemon growin’ up?”
Your eyes light up as Sukuna starts a conversation, finally tipping the scales back towards being comfortable.
“My best friend growing up really liked it, we played a lot of Ruby and Sapphire.”
“Same as the brats.” He scoffs playfully.
“Are you gonna pretend that isn’t your old GameBoy?”
He tilts his head in your direction, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “And if it is?”
“Dunno, I might think you’re a bit of a nerd,” you tease, mindlessly chewing on your lip.
Sukuna’s eyes flicker down to your lips. He catches himself immediately, averting his gaze. “Tch.”
You giggle when he doesn’t refute your claim. He shoves his hands back into his pockets, your takeout bags dangling from his forearm.
As you arrive back at your apartment, Sukuna lets you unlock the door before grabbing and holding it open for you. His eyes trace your figure as you tread ahead of him with a skip in your step. When you turn back to him, realizing he hasn’t followed you yet, he blinks in surprise as he realizes exactly what he’s doing, shaking his head to clear it.
Why in the hell was he checking you out anyway? He doesn’t make a habit of hooking up with people who know him beyond face value. He mutters a ‘sorry’, relieved when you don’t seem to notice the way he’d so shamelessly checked you out.
Closing the door behind him, he sets the food on the table, tossing his jacket aside as you call his brothers, setting up a little dinner around your coffee table. Sukuna groans as he slips down onto the floor to eat, remaining quiet as he simply watches the way you cheerfully entertain both of his brothers’ antics.
Shoveling rice into his mouth, Sukuna stares down at his curry, contemplating the strange sense of warmth blooming in his chest. The feeling is so unfamiliar to him that he can’t place it. He has half a mind to drown the emotion in nicotine and the need to smoke grows quickly.
He’s so preoccupied in his thoughts, Sukuna doesn’t realize his little brothers have both run off back to your room, leaving the two of you alone.
“S’kuna?”
Striking pupils suddenly meet yours. He straightens from where he sits across from you on the couch, taking notice of the fact that you’ve already finished your dinner.
“Are you alright?”
Sukuna nods. “‘M fine.” Yet he can’t help but to drink in the sight of you, the way you look at him with so much care and he can’t understand why, the way your lips move so softly when you speak. The way your figure and curves would feel under his hands, the way you keep biting your lip… Sukuna shakes his head suddenly, getting to his feet as he chalks it up to lust. He’ll get over it at the next party he goes to. “Balcony?” He asks suddenly, pointing at the door at the back of your apartment.
You nod, watching in confusion as he rises suddenly and rushes out the door, pulling out a box of cigarettes. You hum to yourself, deciding to give him a moment. You’re not sure exactly what came over him, he seemed flustered even if only for a moment, but there was something else you noticed in his eyes, something darker you couldn’t identify.
Pushing that aside, you put the lid back over his food to keep it warm and check your phone to find Shoko’s been trying to reach you to go pick up your car. You let her know you’ll have to pick it up tomorrow since you’re with Sukuna as you wait for him to finish smoking.
After a few messages back and forth, you glance back outside at Sukuna. The way the muscles along his back ripple just from the act of breathing is eye-catching enough, but when he stubs out his cigarette and leans over the railing of your little balcony, your eyes trail to his shoulder blades protruding from the white material of his shirt.
Catching yourself holding your breath, you take a step forward and decide to check on him, closing the balcony door in your stead as you slip onto the small overlook behind him.
He doesn’t acknowledge you even as you lean beside him, his tired expression fixated on the street below. You rest a hand on his bicep as you tilt your head quizzically. “Are you sure everything’s alright?”
Ever aloof, you aren’t able to tell what he’s thinking as he turns to look at you. You, completely unaware that your touch has set his skin alight. Unbeknownst to him, his eyes have darkened a shade as his pupils dilate at your touch. Unsure what’s come over him, he simply hums affirmatively as an answer to your question.
Your brow knits together but you accept his response. He wonders if you know that you’re rubbing circles into the skin of his bicep and it’s driving him crazy. What the hell is it about you that’s got him horny like it’s his first year of college again? It frustrates him beyond belief, but maybe it’s just been too long since he’s slept with someone. That has to be it. It’s just lust. He swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing with the action when you finally bring your attention out to the road in front of you both, removing your hand from him.
“Hey, um, what do you do at the supermarket?” You ask in an effort to create conversation with him.
“Stock,” he replies shortly, his tone as stoic as his expression.
“That’s not too bad,” you murmur thoughtfully, giggling to yourself suddenly. Sukuna’s brow raises. “Sorry, I just can’t imagine you as, like, a cashier or something.”
“Why not?” He sneers, standing up straight and facing you, offended.
“Come on,” you giggle, “you’re not very talkative.”
“I can be,” he insists, taking a step towards you.
“Is that your way of proving it?” You provoke him with a grin.
He scoffs. “I just don’t have anythin’ to say,” he grumbles with a tense jaw, staring down at you. “‘Sides, I work with customers at my other job.”
Another job? You frown at his admission. How the hell is he managing this? How hasn’t he flunked out? “What other job?”
“Mechanic,” he states blandly.
“Really? Are you a big car guy?” You ask, genuinely curious.
Sukuna’s somewhat taken aback by the way you lean in, your full attention directed towards him. You seem to take such a genuine interest in him and he isn’t quite sure what to make of it.
A smirk pays at the corners of his lips as he decides to mess with you, loving the idea of keeping you on your toes and pushing your buttons. “Nah. ‘M just good with my hands,” he drawls as you present him the perfect opportunity to tease you back given how much of a hard time you’ve been giving him.
Your eyes widen at his euphemism, cheeks heating up as you grip the balcony railing harder. You avert your gaze in an attempt to save face, willing your heart to slow down to no avail.
You clear your throat. “I-I um, th-that makes sense,” you stammer, mentally facepalming at just how nervous your words come out. He has no right to be this hot.
“Not so talkative now, are ya?” He chuckles lowly, sliding from his position leaning on the railing beside you to rest his opposite hand on your other side, effectively trapping you.
You flip over to face him, leaning back against the railing with pursed lips. Sukuna grins at your mousey behavior, thrilling in the way you squirm trapped between him and the railing. “Sukuna?”
His heart pounds in his chest at the sound of his name coming from your lips and his smirk falters. Why the hell is his heart beating so fast? He forces his smirk again, moving his face down to your level in an effort to push away the strange feeling blooming in the pit of his stomach. “Yeah, woman?”
Focusing on anything other than the man in front of you, you can only manage to mumble out a few ‘um’s and ‘uh’s. Sukuna chuckles at just how flustered you are, freeing you from the cage of his arms as he rests against the railing beside you again.
You clear your throat, trying to ignore your spiraling thoughts. And boy are they ever spiraling as you stare out at the street beneath you, attempting to focus on the passing cars and not your pounding heart. “Why are you in Art History?”
Sukuna’s lit another cigarette in the time that you’ve used to recover your thoughts. He looks calmer once again as smoke spirals from the glowing embers. “Required class.”
“R-Right.” You swallow, moving past your stammer. “What do you want to do?”
He pauses for a moment, taking a languid drag from the cigarette. A puff of smoke leaves his lips before he replies. “Dunno. I’m a history major.”
You wouldn’t have imagined the college’s resident bad boy to be a history major, if you’re being honest with yourself, but you remind yourself not to judge a book by its cover.
He runs a hand through his hair as you contemplate the idea of Sukuna as a history major and what he might do with that major given that you can’t envision him as a historian or a museum curator, and certainly not as a teacher.
“I’m thinking of swapping majors,” he admits. You examine his expression as he taps the edge of the cigarette with a finger. He shrugs, shifting his gaze to stare at the sidewalk beneath the both of you. “Starting to think history doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, what do you want to do, Sukuna?”
He casts you a glance, examining your attentive face. You’re so wholly invested in his words that it causes a pang in his chest. He subconsciously brings a hand up to his chest, scratching at it as if to cast the strange feeling away.
Setting the feeling aside, he finds himself scowling in thought. When he was considerably younger he’d wanted to pursue graphic design but he hadn’t had the luxury of thinking about his future for a while now. In truth, he’s not even sure why he’s in history right now. It interests him enough to keep him attentive but the career options are… few and far between and he can’t exactly afford to fuck around and swap majors constantly.
His minor in business makes more sense, at least he can do something with it, but… in truth, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s another page filed under ‘uncertainties’ in the book that is Sukuna.
You take his silence as an answer and shoot him a wry smile. “You don’t have to answer, I’m sorry to pry.”
“It’s fine,” he sighs. “I just dunno that either.”
Admitting to it feels shameful, almost, and frankly, Sukuna thinks he’s had enough of making a fool of himself in front of you today. Stubbing out his cigarette, he stands up and makes his way back inside. You follow after him, blinking as he begins packing up.
“I should go,” he mumbles, shutting his laptop and tossing it into his bag. He picks up his keys from your desk, shoving them in his pocket as he zips up his backpack. “Oh,” he stops his movements, hesitating for a moment. “I… Appreciate dinner.”
Your expression softens and you smile wholeheartedly. “No problem. You can take your leftovers, too. They’re still on the table,” you point over to the box you’d set the cover over. He nods, shutting it and tucking it in his bag as well.
With a tired sigh, he gathers his brothers, ushering them towards the doorway.
“Got anything to say?” Sukuna utters, staring down at both kids expectantly.
“Thank you!”
“Thank you, miss!”
You grin at both kids, kneeling down. “I hope you two had fun. You know, maybe you can convince your brother to come over again and I’ll pull out my old GameCube.”
With the expressions of jaw-dropping awe you’re getting right now, you would think you’d revealed to them the secret to happiness or something. Yuji leaps into your arms immediately, nearly toppling you over as he shoots a pleading stare at Sukuna.
Sukuna’s expression shifts to one of irritation as Yuji pleads with him, “Kuna! Pleeeease pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease,” that has you giggling at the way a vein in his forehead seems to pulse.
“Brat. Brat! Shut up, I’ll think about it, alright?”
Yuji nods cheerfully, counting straight to Sukuna’s leg to hug him, and the clear irritation on your classmate’s face immediately falters. Maybe he’s a bit of a softie after all.
Sukuna sighs heavily, reaching a long arm down to ruffle his brother’s hair. “Yeah, alright, kid. If she invites us.”
His voice is tired, albeit strangely soft. It’s almost like he’s a different person, and suddenly you can see why it is that he’s pulling such a terrible schedule. Despite the clear stress being a twenty two year old parent to two young kids is, he clearly loves them.
But this is Sukuna we’re talking about, so he doesn’t always know how to express that.
It’s sweet, really, and your heart melts at the sight.
“Go wait outside, you two.” Both kids run down the hall to the elevator as they excitedly ponder what games you might have, leaving you and Sukuna alone as he leans on the doorframe.
“You free next Saturday?” You ask once his attention returns to you.
“I can let you know. Depends on the auto shop’s schedule.”
“We can always do another day, whatever works best for you, Kuna.” Your voice holds a teasing lilt as you mimic Yuji’s entirely too adorable name for him.
“Don’t start with that,” he snarls, mumbling something about the name being annoying. Before turning to walk away, he decides to pay you back for all of your teasing with a jab of his own. “Don’t make a habit of getting oil dumped on you, yeah?”
What Sukuna isn’t expecting is for you to be able to match his teasing without a second thought. “What, I can’t email you for help?”
He snorts, smirking at the ground as he pushes himself off of the doorframe and begins to turn away. “See you around,” he says, raising a hand in farewell as he follows after his two brothers. Your eyes trail curiously after him until he’s out of sight, shutting and locking the door quietly.
In truth, you don’t expect to hear from him until maybe next Friday if you’re lucky, but to your surprise when you check your email later that night, your inbox has a new email from Sukuna. It’s still funny, to think that you’re communicating via email, but at least you aren’t giggling to yourself as you open this one.
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:04 AM brat stole your gameboy. meet at the fountain at noon monday
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:23 AM That’s alright!! He can keep it :)
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:27 AM no he needs to learn. noon at the fountain
With a sigh, you realize he isn’t about to relent and give in.
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:28 AM Okay I’ll see you then Kuna lol
And oh if you could see the way Sukuna is guffawing and huffing at his screen, slamming his laptop shut as you call him the nickname he doesn’t want anyone to know. Yet here you are, barging into his life on all fronts and learning more about him than he wants.
The way his heart stutters, it actually stutters when he sees his inbox go up by a notification because he just knows it’s you and fuck why is it actually cute when you use that nickname?
Sukuna rubs a hand over his face and pulls his comforter up over his shoulder, sinking into the plush of his mattress as he tries to get some rest before his shift the next morning. He’ll deal with his other issues later.
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main masterlist || series masterlist || next chapter - coming soon
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❦ a/n ; hello!! thank you so much for reading i've been having an absolute blast with this. i've been working on this for a long time and it was initially intended to be about 25k, but after working on it for a month straight it hit that pretty quickly and i'm nowhere near done. aaaanyways, thanks for all the love and support and as always, likes, reblogs, and comments are super appreciated <3
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
@yenayaps @rinachains @aiicpansion @fushitoru @gojoscumslut
@hellish4ever @creamflix @theonlyhonoredone @catobsessedlady @timetoletmyimaginationfly
@clp-84 @coffee-and-geto @candyluvsboba @favvkiki
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune.
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drawnfamiliarfaces · 2 days ago
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How do Jake and June get along?
its... complicated? <;D
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They are friends, don't get me wrong, but their friendship is definitely one of the more bumpier ones amongst the group.
There are some aspects of their relationship that are heavily influenced by some plot points of this AU that I dont want to reveal rn, but I can explain some other reasons why its complicated in broader strokes for now (in a bit of yapping under cut) but the short answer is probably that they get along maybe just a little better than Jenny and Ben. xD
As you know, both of their shows are very similar in many aspects, but also different in others and those differences are actually what makes those two clash more often than not.
Despite both being of magical world, and both being chosen as respective guardians of it - their positions in it are different.
Jun, was chosen by Magical Elders, or basically be magic itself, as Te Xuan Zhe, while she was very young. And while she comes from magical line, its clearly that aside of that she is human. Also, her position is not something she can just abandon, not until a suitable replacement can be chosen at least, and that can take decades until she or her brothers (or maybe other relatives) have more descendants. So she more or less has no choice at being Te Xuan Zhe, and while she doesn't necessarily resent the position itself, she really doesn't like all the restrictions that come with it.
Jake, on the other hand, comes from a line of magical creatures. And yes, not everyone can manifest this hidden magical part of them, like his mother, but they are still considered as part of magical community, since they are still aware of it (unlike Jake's dad who is human). So, while Jake awakened his draconic abilities that are inherently part of him now, his position as protector of New York/USA - is not inherent. We saw him train for that position, we saw Hailey being considered for it, we saw him lose it too! And while, yes the Dragon Council apparently has the power to seal someone's dragon side away if they fire them from that position, but it still doesn't inherently change the fact that he is from dragon line.
The reason why I brought up this seemingly not big of a difference between their positions in the magical community - is the freedom of choice that Jake has and Jun lacks. If it comes to it, Jake can resign from his position as American Dragon, but it would not mean that he would stop being a dragon or being a part of the magical community (I mean just look at retired Lao Shi). While Jun on the other hand doesn't really have a choice at being Te Xuan Zhe. Sure, she can probably return the title to her poor aging Ama, Jasmine or even find a way to pass it to Ray Ray, since their whole entangled magic thing - but it doesn't change the fact that she was chosen by The Magical Elders - by the highest magical authority there probably is - to be Te Xuan Zhe. And if she hadn't, she probably would have not access to magic and knowledge about it - she would have essentially been like the rest of their family - their parents and Dennis (before he learned about magic). This freedom of choice is not necessarilly something Jake and Jun discussed directly and openly very often, but it's a thing that is an almost palpable tension current in their interactions.
So, the second point that kinda spirals from their positions is about the authority and power. Jun, is essentially a boss of herself. It might not seem like it, but its kinda true - because she works mostly under her own power, without the Magical Elders directly breathing down her neck. Sure, Ama, Monroe and others help in guiding her, but more often than not she is not working necessarily under any orders, but on her own decisions. (It's actually a lot like Danny operates, but, well, with a lot more assistance than poor Phantom lol) In comparison, Jake, like I said, is essentially hired/chosen into his guardian position by the Dragon Council, and he is mentored by his grandfather and trained in some aspects by the Council. And while, sure, largely he also operates under his own power and makes his own decisions in regards of doing his job, there is also this constant watching from the Council and the threat of beings 'sacked' and have his powers restricted or completely sealed, like I mentioned before. It seems like such a small difference, since essentially they operate the same, but its another thing that kinda comes up in their interactions.
When it comes to less magical aspects tho, their families play a role in how they interact too. We all know that Jake has a little sister - Hailey, who seems like a perfect youngest child and often is shown to trying to one-up her older brother in the eyes of their parents. And we all know that while Jake and Hailey love and care for each other, the both clearly have sibling issues (like rivalry and feeling of inadequacy) between them. Jun, on the other hand, is a middle child, with a bossy teenaged older brother Dennis, and a chaos gremlin of younger brother Ray Ray. Jun constantly sqwabbles with Dennis (a little less after he learned about magic) and as Ray Ray's older sister, she constantly have to keep him in check. With those close relationships its no wonder that sometimes interactions between Jun and Jake can descend into similar sqabbles - it really doesn't help that Jake and Dennis have a few similarities, and that Jake has just a tiny bit of similar chaos gremlin energy that Ray Ray has; and that Jun is fiercely independant and very self-sufficient, which would remind Jake about how Hailey can be.
And when it comes to their parents, well, there is one super obvious glaring difference. Jake's mother always knew about magical side of the world, presumably that while she did not awaken her own dragon abilities she still possessed some inherant magic - and she had always been a stauch supporter of Jake's position as American Dragon (does not mean she was necessarilly happy about Jake being in danger, but since he awakened as dragon, there probably was little she could do), while Jake's father finally learned about it in the finale and accepted it and his family. Jun's parents on the other hand... are still very much oblivious, and very much human. And while its clear that they both love their kids, its inevitable that there would be some sort of distance between them, especially after all three kids learned about magic. And I feel like for Jun, being a middle child is not easy in general, but while also being a magical protector and staying close to her parents is probably twice as hard. Though, I guess to balance it out, Jake and Hailey are not really that good at getting along, at least compared to Jun, Ray Ray and Dennis, who got a lot closer ever since Dennis learned about magic.
But in conclusion: not only Jake gets a freedom of choice and the open support from his family, while Jun is literally caught in her position, and still prohibited from revealing about magic to her parents.
And I know it sounds a bit bleak for Jun when I put it all like this. I know it seems as a very solid ground for a relationship where Jun resents Jake and etc. but BUT!!!!! Those plot points that I mentioned before come in play, and it changes that relationship dynamic a bit, and while SURE there are some resentment from Jun about Jake, its not as strong, due to those PLOT POINTS THAT I CANT REVEAL BECAUSEEE AAARRRHH SPOILERS
it would be much more fun to reveal in stories ;)
But, so yeah, their relationship is just kinda really complicated??? It's the best I could give you rn. TTwTT
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jetii · 3 days ago
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By Your Name
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Pairing: Wrecker x fem!Reader / Wrecker x Jedi!Reader
Words: 11,228/18,183
Tags/Warnings: angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, forbidden romance, unrequited feelings, love confessions, some kissing and heavy petting, smut in part 2
Summary: Ever since you were assigned to the squad, Wrecker has delighted in calling you pet names in Mando'a — an'edee, cyar'ika, mesh'la, the list goes on. Little does he know, you understand every single one of them, and it's starting to become a problem.
A/N: I wrote this months ago and got around to editing it recently and whoa, was not prepared for the sad. Sorry about that! This is mostly self-contained to part one, with part two being purely a smut add-on for my own amusement. I'll post that next week.
Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist
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You hit the ground hard, skidding to a stop face down in the dirt, your whole body aching. The ringing in your ears slowly subsides, and the sounds of battle come back in bits and pieces. The roar of blasterfire, the clatter of droids and metal feet, and crunch of tanks rolling over rubble. You groan and turn yourself over onto your back, coughing and trying to get the taste of dirt out of your mouth, just in time to see a droid bearing down on you, cannon aimed.
You try to move, but you’re completely winded. Your lightsaber was thrown from your grasp when you were sent flying, and it lay several feet away, taunting you with the idea of your own survival. You close your eyes and prepare for the worst, waiting for the searing pain of a laser bolt tearing through you
There’s the sound of metal tearing as a large hand grips the droid’s head and rips it clean off its neck, and your eyes fly open as the metal body falls to the ground in a clatter of lifeless metal, its head still in the hands of your savior.
You look up and meet Wrecker’s eyes, and he pushes his helmet up with the back of his hand to offer you a toothy grin, the droid head held aloft in the other. The relief at seeing him alive and well washes over you like a tide, and you can only manage a weak smile back, your ribs smarting from the impact of your fall.
"That was a close one!" he says, tossing the head away like a child throwing a ball for a dog. It pings off the chest of a droid advancing on the pair of you, sending the metal soldier careening backwards.
"A little too close for my liking," you wheeze, and you take his offered hand. Wrecker pulls you to your feet with ease, the motion tugging you close to his chest, and his arm wraps around you to steady you.
“You okay, cyar’ika?” he shouts over the sound of another tank exploding, a cloud of debris flying up and raining down around you in a shower of dust and smoke. You nod, the movement stiff and stilted, and you pray he doesn’t notice the flush on your cheeks at the use of that Mando'a word.
And that's the problem, isn't it? Cyar’ika, sarad, mesh’la, all the words he said to you in his native tongue, thinking you wouldn't know the difference. It made your heart race and your head spin, and the fact that you understood exactly what they meant only made it worse. It was like a secret between you two, one you weren't supposed to know.
The words made your heart do cartwheels, but the tone he said them in?
That was what was really going to kill you.
The soft way he said the words, the gentle, affectionate way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention, the way his hand seemed to linger on your shoulder after pulling you back up from a fall, the way his smile made your knees weak... It all came together to paint a picture of how Wrecker felt. It was a picture that made your face feel warm and your throat dry, and it was one that was starting to drive you crazy.
It also drove you to distraction, so much so that you hadn't even noticed the AAT firing at you until you were flying through the air.
And now you're here, in Wrecker's arms, your heart beating fast for more than one reason. You take a moment to gather yourself before stepping back, Wrecker's arm falling reluctantly from around your shoulders, and you give him a grin that's a little stronger this time.
"I'm alright, thank you!" you shout back. "We need to stop that tank!"
Wrecker nods, and the two of you turn to face the massive tank, which was slowly making its way through the city, demolishing everything in its path. The cannons swivel back and forth, destroying a building to your right, then to the left, then forward.
You call your lightsaber back into your hand, and it flies past Wrecker's head into your awaiting palm. You ignite the blade and glance at him, and he grins and cracks his knuckles before slamming his helmet back onto his head.
"Ready, cyare?"
Your breath catches in your throat. It wasn't the word you thought he'd use, but the endearment has the same effect. He doesn't seem to realize what he's said, and you decide not to bring it up.
You can think about it later. For now, you had a droid army to stop.
"Ready," you murmur.
Wrecker holds his hand out to the side, bowing his head in a courtly gesture. "After you."
You roll your eyes and step past him, and you feel the heat of his gaze on the back of your neck.
"Keep up, then."
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It doesn’t get any easier.
You try your best not to let it affect your performance. You focus on the missions, on keeping your men safe, but Wrecker is always there, with a compliment or a gentle touch, and the feelings grow until they threaten to burst from your chest.
He does everything in his power to make you laugh, and every time he does, your stomach feels like it's doing backflips. He calls you pet names and winks at you, and your knees get weak. He smiles at you, and the world seems to get brighter.
He does everything he can to protect you, and you find yourself falling for him, hard.
And you can't let it show.
So you ignore the feeling, try to bury it deep inside, but you can feel it growing, day by day.
You have never wanted to tell someone how you feel so much, and yet you are absolutely terrified to do it. It's almost funny, really. You’ve stared down the barrel of a blaster a hundred times, fought dozens of battles, and yet this one man is the only one who can make your heart race.
But there's a difference. With the other things, you could always fight back, try to fix the situation. But how can you fight against feelings? How can you stop yourself from falling in love with the most wonderful person you've ever met?
You can't, and you know it.
Every night, you think about telling him, but every morning, the fear stops you. In the light of day, the idea of a Jedi and a clone being together is ridiculous. It's impossible, and you can't risk your career and his life for something so foolish. So, each time, you say nothing, and the words go unsaid, lingering between the two of you, a heavy weight that seems to follow wherever you go.
You try your hardest not to think about it, but it's like a constant buzzing, an annoying insect that's always in your ear, always nipping at your thoughts, always reminding you of something you don't want to deal with. It's dangerous, and distracting, and it makes you worry that someday, someone will find out.
And that's the most terrifying thing of all.
If the Council ever discovered what was going on between you, they would have no choice but to separate the two of you. The thought of never seeing him again fills you with a deep dread, and the knowledge that it could happen at any time drives you crazy.
Every time the thought comes to the forefront of your mind, you try to push it away, and the effort has become a daily struggle. The others have noticed your preoccupation, and have done their best to cheer you up, but even their good-natured attempts have become frustrating, the reminders of what you were trying not to think about grating on your nerves.
The only person who doesn't seem to notice is Wrecker.
It's ironic, really. It's Wrecker who causes all the trouble, and it's him who's oblivious to it. He doesn't know the effect his words have on you, and if he does, he doesn't acknowledge it.  Instead, he seems to be more affectionate, more playful, more himself than ever, and the more you try to push away your feelings, the harder they come crashing back.
It's like being caught in a riptide, unable to stop yourself from being pulled farther and farther out, no matter how much you struggle. You wish he would stop, wish he would just back off and let you think, but a part of you doesn't want him to. A part of you wants this, wants him, and it's slowly consuming the rest of you.
The only thing that keeps you sane is the knowledge that you will have to return to Coruscant soon, and that when you do, you can go back to the Order, and put the distance between you that you sorely need.
You can't hide anything from the Council. The Force is your ally and enemy, and it shows you exactly how they would react if they ever found out about you and Wrecker.
Dismissal. Disapproval. Disdain.
All things you're not ready to face, and the sooner you're separated, the better. That thought, the idea that you won't have to see Wrecker every day, helps to soothe your anxiety, and, despite the guilt and sadness it brings, you look forward to the mission ending.
The sooner you can distance yourself from him, the easier it will be.
At least, that's what you tell yourself.
You have no idea how wrong you are.
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The tunnel network on Akiva is a mess, a winding labyrinth of tunnels and dead ends. The six of you have been trying to navigate them for hours now, and it's starting to take its toll. You've lost the trail of the tactical droid you're hunting multiple times, only to pick it up again an hour later. Your patience is wearing thin, and the squad is getting restless. You're all tired and hungry, and the dim, flickering lights of the tunnels are giving you a headache.
"How many turns have we made?" Crosshair asks, his voice echoing in the narrow tunnel. He's leading the pack with Hunter, whose trying his best to keep up with the trail, though it's growing colder by the minute.
"I...have lost count," Tech admits bitterly, squinting at the holographic map of the tunnels displayed on his datapad. "Perhaps we should have split up, that would have made the task—"
"Not happening," Wrecker cuts in, his voice firm.
"I wasn't finished," Tech snaps.
"Yeah, but you were gonna suggest splitting up," Wrecker says, "and that ain't gonna happen. We're all staying together."
"Tech, if we split up, we might lose each other," Hunter adds, his voice strained as he concentrates. "This trail is difficult enough to follow as it is. I don't need the distraction of trying to find a missing man on top of it."
Tech opens his mouth to reply, but stops when he catches your eye, and you give him a subtle shake of your head. He sighs and nods, looking back down at his datapad. "As always, the logical course of action is the least popular," he mutters.
Hunter snorts, but says nothing, and you and the rest of the group continue down the tunnel. You trail behind the group, trying to keep your frustration in check, when you suddenly feel a presence behind you, and you glance back to see Wrecker fall into step next to you, a small smile on his face.
"Hey," he says softly, and you can't help but return the expression. You realize what you're doing and try to school your features, but the damage is already done, and Wrecker's smile widens.
"Hi," you murmur.
"You holding up okay?" he asks.
You nod, the movement stiff. "I'm fine."
"You sure? Cause you look like you're ready to kill someone."
You grimace and glance ahead, where the others were slowly disappearing from view, and you lower your voice. "I'm sorry. It's been a long day."
"Ain't that the truth," Wrecker mutters.
"This is a mess," you sigh, glancing around the cramped, dimly lit tunnel. "We're not gonna find anything at this rate."
He shrugs, and his elbow nudges yours gently. "It'll be alright, cyar'ika. We'll find him."
The affectionate word is like a bucket of cold water thrown over your head, and your heart skips a beat. You swallow hard, and nod, hoping he can't see the flush on your cheeks.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Cause we're the best there is," Wrecker says. His arm brushes yours as the pair of you walk, and his fingers bump yours. He pulls his hand back quickly, but not before his fingertips brush against the back of your hand, and you can't suppress the shiver that runs through you. "And we have the best General in the galaxy."
"Stop," you groan, the tips of your ears burning. "I'm not the best. I've gotten us lost three times today, Wrecker. Three. If I was a better General, I would have found this stupid droid by now."
"Hey," he murmurs. "It's not your fault."
You keep your eyes on the ground, but his hand comes up and his fingers brush the back of yours. Your hand twitches, but you don't move, and his thumb runs gently over the back of your hand. You're too distracted by his touch to notice that the group had stopped walking, and it's only when Hunter speaks that you snap back to reality.
"Guys, we've got a problem."
You and Wrecker stop short, and you pull your hand from his quickly, ignoring the way his face falls. You glance up and see the other clones gathered around the entrance to a large cavern, their backs turned to you.
"What's wrong?"
Crosshair steps aside to allow you to join the group, and his eyebrow arches as his eyes flicker between you and Wrecker, a smirk crossing his face. You pointedly ignore him, and he shakes his head before returning his attention to the task at hand.
"Dead end," Hunter says.
"I don't understand," Tech murmurs. He steps forward to scan the walls and floor of the cavern with his datapad, and Echo peers over his shoulder. "According to the map, this tunnel should continue on, not stop at a room."
"Well, clearly it does," Crosshair snarks as he moves past you into the cavern. "Or are we supposed to climb the wall?"
"The structural integrity of these walls is poor," Tech replies. "Climbing would only serve to bring the ceiling down upon us."
"Then how are we supposed to get through?" Echo asks, and you bite your lip, the wheels turning in your mind.
Crosshair's flashlight pans over the walls and floor, illuminating the room, and it's then that you see the marks in the dirt. Footprints, dozens of them, some large, some small. Hunter crouches down and brushes the prints, and he frowns and pulls his glove off, running his fingers along the floor.
"These are fresh," he murmurs.
"So are these," Echo says. He and Crosshair are crouched by the far wall, examining a patch of disturbed dirt. You move to take a step forward when a chill runs up your spine, and you freeze, the hairs on the back of your neck rising.
Something is wrong.
You feel it, the air becoming thick with danger. Your muscles tense, your hands clenching at your sides, and the others must sense it, too. They rise to their feet and turn to you, their weapons ready, and the only sound is the distant dripping of water and the soft whirring of Tech's datapad.
"What is it?" Hunter whispers, his voice barely audible, but you can't answer. Your eyes dart around the cavern, searching for the threat. There's no cover in the room, nowhere to hide, and it's making your skin crawl.
"I don't know," you whisper back.
Suddenly, the ground beneath your feet starts to sha, and the men shout in alarm as the shaking gets worse. Dust falls from the ceiling, and you scramble backwards, trying not to fall as the walls start to crumble.
"Go! Go!" Hunter shouts, and the group bolts for the tunnel. You trip on a stone, and the ground cracks and splits open, swallowing the rocks whole. Wrecker grabs you and pulls you to your feet, and the pair of you race after the others, the cavern falling apart around you.
"This isn't natural!" Tech shouts, and he ducks as a rock flies towards him, missing him by inches. "The droid must have set charges!"
"Doesn't matter! Just keep moving!" Hunter yells.
There's a loud roar, and the ceiling comes crashing down. You barely have time to throw up your hands before the weight of the cave-in hits you, and your arms tremble with the effort of holding it up. Ahead of you, the others shout, but the dust and rocks muffle the sound. Your knees buckle, and the rubble starts to push down on you, your back bowing.
No, no, no, no...
The rocks shift, and your hands slip, and the ceiling starts to come down again, and all you can think is that you're not ready, not ready, not ready—
There's a flash of black, and suddenly Wrecker is diving towards you, his arms wrapping around your waist, and the two of you are thrown to the side, out of the way of the falling rocks. He wraps himself around you, his broad shoulders protecting your head, and the pair of you hit the ground hard as the rest of the cavern collapses.
The impact knocks the wind from your lungs, and you're left gasping for breath, unable to move as the cave-in rages around you, the sounds of the others muffled by the rocks. After what feels like an eternity, the noise and movement ceases, and silence settles in, save for the soft tumble of stones.
Your eyes fly open, and you're greeted with darkness. It takes a moment for them to adjust, and you blink away the grit, a shudder running through you. Your limbs feel heavy, and it's only then that you notice the crushing weight on top of you. You can feel the hard edge of plastoid digging into your chest, something softer cradling your head, and Wrecker's heavy breathing fills your ears.
"Wrecker?" you rasp.
His body moves against yours, and his helmet buried in the crook of your neck, his chest rising and falling as he pants for air.
"Yeah?"
"Are...are you okay?"
He laughs, a soft, wheezy sound, and his grip around you loosens, his arms pulling back, allowing the air to return to your lungs.
"Am I okay? I should be askin' you that!"
You laugh, the sound coming out as a half-sob, and you feel his hand cup the back of your head, his fingers threading gently through your hair. "What...what happened?"
"You almost got crushed," he replies, his voice hoarse. "Had to get you outta there."
You blink rapidly, trying to get the dust out of your eyes, and the dim light illuminates his form. He's curled around you, his body protecting yours, and his arms are still holding you tight, one wrapped around your waist, the other cupping the back of your head, his fingers gently stroking your hair.
"Oh," is all you can manage.
"Yeah," Wrecker chuckles, and his grip tightens. "'Oh' is right."
"How did you...?"
"I dunno," he mutters, and his chest rumbles with his words. "I just knew I had to get to you, no matter what."
"Well, thanks."
You swallow hard, trying to ignore the fluttering in your stomach. His hand is large enough to cradle your entire head, and his thumb gently strokes the skin of your neck. You're suddenly hyper-aware of the feeling of him pressed against you, the weight of him, the warmth, the smell of metal and dirt and sweat, and you can't help the way your face heats up.
Your hand pushes at his chest plate, and his grip on you loosens. "Uh, we should—"
"Right!" Wrecker exclaims as his arms unwrap from around you. "Sorry!"
"No, no, it's okay!"
"I shoulda let go sooner," he babbles, and you can hear the flush in his voice. "I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine," you assure him, and you sit up, wincing at the aches and pains in your body. You can hear him move beside you, his armor scraping the floor as he stands, and a moment later, a gloved hand appears in front of your face.
"Need a hand?"
"Thanks," you say, and Wrecker helps you up. The pair of you stand for a moment, listening to the silence around you. The room is dark, the only illumination coming from the narrow gaps in the stones above you, and the occasional shift sends dust falling from the ceiling.
“—al…Wrecker! Are you alright?" Hunter's voice crackles through the comms, the sound distorted by static.
"I'm okay," Wrecker replies, stepping back a little as he activates his comm. He pauses and glances down at you, and his head tilts slightly, like he's looking you over.
"What is it?" you ask, and Wrecker hesitates, his fingers brushing yours.
"You sure you're alright, cyar'ika?"
The endearment is like a slap to the face, and you blink rapidly, taken aback.
"I'm fine, thank you," you say, trying to keep your voice steady.
Wrecker doesn't seem convinced, and his fingers curl around yours. "You don't sound fine."
"I am."
"Really?"
"Yes, Wrecker," you snap. "I'm fine."
"Wrecker, report!" Hunter's voice demands, and Wrecker pulls his hand from yours and activates his comm again.
"We're okay," he says. "Me and the General."
"Thank the Maker," Hunter replies. "What happened?"
You let Wrecker answer while you try to calm yourself, your heart pounding against your ribs. It's just a word, you tell yourself, and yet the knowledge that he was willing to put himself in harm's way, risk being crushed by the rocks just to get to you...
You're not sure how much more of this you can take.
"Is anyone injured?" you ask, cutting off Wrecker mid-sentence.
"No," Hunter replies. "A few bumps and bruises, nothing serious."
"Good," you say. You walk toward the wall of rubble, reaching out with the Force and testing it, searching for a way out. There are gaps here and there, large enough for a person to fit through, but the amount of debris is daunting, and you know that without tools, the task would take hours.
"Well, this is a karking mess," Crosshair grumbles, speaking your thoughts aloud.
“You can say that again,” you say. “We’ll try to dig our way out, but it might take a while."
“Negative,” Tech’s voice cuts in immediately. “This tunnel system is too unstable. Any further attempts to excavate the debris could result in further cave-ins, which could cause catastrophic structural damage.”
You sigh, leaning your head against the rocks. "So we're stuck?"
"It would appear so," Tech replies, and you can practically hear him grimace.
“What are your orders, General?” Echo asks. You can tell by the sound of his voice that he knows what you’re about to say, but the question still makes your stomach twist. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, but the feeling of the walls closing in is growing, and the anxiety is starting to become overwhelming.
"You're going to have to leave us," you say softly.
The words are met with a chorus of protests, and you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to block out the noise. Behind you, Wrecker has fallen silent, and his eyes are burning into the back of your skull, his presence looming, waiting.
"You'll be walking blind," Hunter argues. "Without Tech, you could get lost."
"Or crushed," Crosshair snarks.
"It's dangerous," Echo adds.
"It is," you reply. "But we can't stay here. We need to find the tactical droid, and the longer we wait, the colder the trail gets. So get moving. That's an order."
There's a moment of silence, then: "Copy that."
“May the Force be with you,” you reply, and you turn off your comm and close your eyes.
The silence seems deafening after the sound of the voices, and you stand there for a moment, collecting yourself. You can still feel Wrecker behind you, and his presence is as comforting as it is suffocating. You take a deep breath and steel yourself before turning to face him, and you offer him a small smile.
"Ready to get outta here?"
He doesn't reply, and his gaze is so intense that it makes your skin crawl. You clear your throat and glance away, and when you look back, he's still staring.
"Wrecker?"
"You really think they're gonna leave us here?"
"They don't have a choice," you say gently. "And neither do we."
He grunts, but says nothing, and he turns away to scan the rubble, the flashlight on his helmet casting eerie shadows on the walls. You watch him as he walks the perimeter of the cave, and it's not until he's made his third trip around the space that he speaks again.
"There's a gap over here," he calls, and you cross the cavern to join him.
He's right; the rocks have formed a tunnel, large enough for you to crawl through, and when you peek through the other side, the tunnel stretches on for several meters, the walls and floor clear of debris.
"Well, at least we have somewhere to start," you murmur.
"I'll go first," Wrecker offer, and he drops to his knees and crawls into the opening, his wide shoulders brushing the stone. You follow close behind, crawling over the jagged rocks, and when you reach the other side, Wrecker grabs your arm and helps you stand.
"Thanks," you murmur, and the pair of you turn and shine your lights down the tunnel. It stretches on ahead of you, twisting and turning, the path vanishing around a corner.
"When I get my hands on that droid..." Wrecker growls.
"If I don't get to it first," you mutter, and the two of you set off down the tunnel.
It's slow-going, with the two of you constantly checking for traps or pitfalls, and the longer you walk, the more nervous you become. It's too quiet, and the tension between you and Wrecker is thick, like an unspoken word lingering in the air.
You've been trying to think of something to say, but every time you open your mouth, your throat dries up, and the words die on your tongue. Every time, you convince yourself to tell him how you feel, and how you can't deal with his attention, his affection, but each time, your nerves get the better of you, and you lose the courage.
After a while, you turn and glance back at him, and his gaze is locked on you, his head tilted.
"What?" you ask, and the word is sharper than you intended, but the tension is starting to make your skin itch.
"Nothin'," he says. You can hear the smile in his voice, and you sigh and look ahead again, trying not to think about his eyes on you.
"Stop looking at me like that," you grumble.
"Like what?" he asks, his voice low.
"I don't know," you say, your frustration getting the better of you. "Just...just stop."
He falls silent, and you bite the inside of your cheek, the guilt starting to eat at you. It's not his fault, you remind yourself. You're the one who has the problem. He's doing what he always does, and it's driving you insane, and he has no idea, and it's not his fault, it's yours.
"I'm sorry," you murmur.
"No, no, it's okay," he replies. "I'll...I'll try not to stare."
You can hear the disappointment in his voice, and you swallow the lump in your throat. It's not his fault, it's yours.
"Thank you," is all you manage to say.
Silence settles in again, and the two of you continue on, your footsteps echoing off the walls. Wrecker keeps his promise and doesn't look at you, and it only makes the tension worse, the distance between you yawning wider.
It's hard to see anything in the dark, and the tunnel seems endless. The walls are crumbling, and the ceiling is low, and every time the stone shifts, you're afraid the tunnel will collapse on you, and that'll be the end of the Jedi and her trooper, crushed in the tunnels on Akiva. It's not the way you expected to go out, but you suppose it could be worse.
It's not a very Jedi-like thought, and you shake your head, trying to clear your mind. The exhaustion is starting to creep up on you, the long day finally catching up, and you're not sure how much longer you can stay focused.
"You okay, mesh'la?"
Wrecker's voice, soft and low, catches you by surprise, and you glance up to see him watching you, his head cocked. You're not sure what's worse, the fact that he can see right through you, or the fact that he's still calling you those names.
"Fine," you lie, turning away so he can't see your face. "Just tired." 
"We can stop if you want," he offers. "Rest for a bit."
"No," you say, forcing a laugh. "I'll be fine. We need to keep going." 
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay," he replies. "But tell me if you need to stop."
You nod and walk a little faster, leaving him behind. The sound of his footsteps behind you makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and it takes all your self-control not to turn around.
You need the distance.
The longer the two of you are together, the closer you feel to him, and the closer you feel to him, the harder it will be to say goodbye. And if the way he looks at you, the softness in his voice when he speaks, the gentle brush of his hand against yours is anything to go by, Wrecker isn't planning on leaving your side anytime soon.
The thought makes your heart swell, but you push it down, ignoring the longing it brings. You can't get attached. You can't let him get attached. It's not fair to either of you.
Wrecker's hand finds your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks. His grip is firm, but not painful, and his fingers gently squeeze, pulling you back a step.
"Cyar'ika, slow down," he murmurs. "Don't go runnin' off."
"Sorry," you mutter, and his thumb runs over your shoulder.
"S'okay. Just be careful."
He doesn't release you, and his grip stays on your shoulder, his thumb running gently over the fabric of your robes. You should pull away, should shrug his hand off, but his touch is comforting, and you can't help but lean into it.
"I will."
You don't move, and his fingers stroke your shoulder, the motion slow and rhythmic.
"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
"Nothing."
"Don't give me that," he says. "There's something bothering you. I can tell."
"It's nothing, Wrecker," you say, and this time, your words are firm. His grip on your shoulder tightens, not painfully, just enough to make his presence known. "Everything's fine."
"You can talk to me, y'know," he says, and the gentleness in his voice makes your throat close up. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you."
You stare at him, torn between wanting to scream and wanting to cry. Instead, you take a deep breath and let it out slowly. You can't do this right now. You can't handle his concern, his kindness, his affection.
"I said I'm fine," you say, your voice tight. "Just drop it, Wrecker." 
He stares at you for a moment, then his hand slips from your shoulder and falls to his side. 
"Okay," he says flatly. "I'm sorry."
You want to reach out and grab him, pull him back and apologize, but you can't. You can't even bring yourself to say anything, to explain yourself. You just watch him as he walks away, and the distance between you feels like a chasm. He's only a few steps away, but it might as well be miles.
You stand there, frozen, for what feels like an eternity, before finally you turn and start walking again. The silence is unbearable, but there's nothing you can do. You're trapped, with nowhere to go, and the man you care about most is walking away from you. It's a helpless, hopeless feeling, and you can't shake it. But you have to keep moving, so you do.
At some point, Hunter checks in and lets you know they're close to finding the T-1, but the knowledge does little to ease the pain in your chest. You keep walking, pushing yourself as fast as you can, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. The darkness, the silence, and the weight of your emotions seem to swallow you whole.
Wrecker doesn't seem to be faring much better. He keeps casting glances your way, and his posture is tense, his steps heavy. You know he wants to talk to you, but the words won't come. So you both suffer in silence, each step feeling like a betrayal, and the air is thick with things left unsaid.
When the two of you finally reach the end of the tunnel, the sun has started to set, casting the world outside in shades of orange and gold. The entrance opens into a field, the long grass swaying in the wind, and the sky is a vibrant shade of purple. It's a welcome relief from the stifling confines of the tunnel, and the sight of the sky is enough to make your heart ache.
I never want to be underground again, you think, and you take a deep breath, relishing the taste of the air. Beside you, Wrecker does the same, ripping off his helmet and sucking in a deep lungful of air.
"Fresh air," he groans. "I love fresh air."
"Me too," you murmur.
His head turns, and he smiles. "Glad we're outta there, cyar'ika?"
The affectionate word is enough to ruin the mood, and you glance away. "Yes. Glad."
"Good," he replies. His voice is soft, and when you look up, he's staring at you, his eyes searching your face. You want to look away, to avoid his gaze, but his eyes are like a magnet, drawing you in.
"Wrecker—"
"There you are!"
The sound of Hunter's voice startles you, and you tear your gaze away from Wrecker's to find the rest of the squad running towards you. Tech has his datapad in his hand, and his eyes are bright with triumph.
"I have good news," he says. "The tactical droid is—"
"Dead," Crosshair interrupts, and he tosses something at you. You reach up and catch the object, and the metal is still warm from Crosshair's grip. It's the head of a tactical droid, its expression fixed in a permanent nonplussed grimace, the red light behind its eyes extinguished.
"How...?"
"Hunter ripped it apart," Echo explains.
"I didn't like the way it was talking," Hunter mutters, and his shoulders shift uncomfortably.
"So, that's it, then?" Wrecker asks.
"Yep," Echo says. "Mission's done."
"Then let's go home," you sigh.
The men cheer, and the squad gathers around, jostling each other playfully. You smile at the display, and the weight on your chest starts to lift. You're free, the mission's over, and everything is going to go back to normal. It's a relief, and yet...
Your gaze wanders, and your eyes find Wrecker, and your chest aches. His expression is bright, a grin splitting his face, but his eyes are dark, and his smile doesn't reach them. Your hand tightens around the droid's head, and the guilt is almost unbearable.
It's better this way. You remind yourself. Safer. For both of us.
You can't risk the Council discovering what's been going on. If they ever found out, the repercussions would be disastrous. The thought of the men being punished for something that's your fault makes your stomach turn, and the idea of losing them, of never seeing Wrecker again...it's too much.
So you put on a smile and try not to think about the future, try not to think about what's waiting for you, the distance that will grow between you, the way you'll feel when the time comes to say goodbye.
The six of you pile into the ship, and Tech takes the controls, lifting the ship off the ground and flying into the evening sky. The takeoff is bumpy, and the ship groans under the strain, but eventually, you're in the air.
All you want to do is hide in your bunk, but there's a debrief to be done. Hunter is giving his report, and you're trying to pay attention, but all you can think about is the look on Wrecker's face.
You can't get it out of your head, and it's starting to drive you crazy. He was so happy when you got out of the tunnel, and now he looks like he's in pain, and you're the cause. You hate yourself for it, but the fear is still there, lingering, a constant reminder of the dangers that await you, and it's enough to make you stay away.
"We made it out with a few scrapes, but nothing too bad," Hunter finishes. He turns his head, looking between you and Wrecker. "What about the two of you?"
You open your mouth to answer, but the words die on your tongue, and the silence grows. All eyes are on you, and the longer you wait, the more concerned the men become. You look at Wrecker, hoping he'll say something, but he doesn't. He's staring at the floor, his shoulders tense.
"Uh, we're fine," you reply, and the words feel like glass. "No injuries. We're...we're good."
Wrecker scoffs and pushes himself out of his seat, stalking out of the cockpit. You watch him leave, a knot forming in your throat.
"That's odd," Tech murmurs, his eyes following Wrecker.
"Yeah," Hunter mutters. He shakes his head and sighs, then follows Wrecker, leaving you alone with the others
Crosshair raises an eyebrow and turns to look at you, his sharp eyes scanning your face. "Well?"
"What?"
"You really expect us to believe that?" he asks, his tone mocking. "You're a terrible liar, General."
You glance between him and Echo, and both of them are staring at you, their expressions unreadable. You swallow hard and force a laugh, shaking your head.
"There's nothing to tell."
"If there was nothing to tell, Wrecker wouldn't be sulking," Echo points out.
"And you wouldn't be sitting here looking like you're about to throw up," Crosshair adds.
"I am not," you argue.
"Oh, please," Crosshair snorts. "It's written all over your face."
"It's pretty obvious," Echo says, his voice gentler than Crosshair's. "What's wrong?"
You shake your head and rise to your feet. "Nothing."
"We're not gonna leave this alone," Crosshair calls after you.
"We're worried about you," Echo adds.
"Fine," you say, trying not to sound as defeated as you feel. "Worry. It doesn't matter. We'll be on Coruscant soon, and then I won't be your problem anymore."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Echo asks, his voice sharp, but you ignore him and keep walking. You can hear them arguing, their voices rising, and the words they're throwing at each other make your stomach churn. You keep your head down and keep walking, but before you can reach the bunks, you see Hunter and Wrecker. They're standing in the middle of the hallway, their backs to you, and Hunter's hand is on Wrecker's shoulder.
"—just give her some space," Hunter is saying.
"But she's—"
"She's fine," Hunter cuts in. "She just needs some time to herself. You've been a little clingy, and she needs a break."
Wrecker's shoulders stiffen, and the hurt in his voice is palpable. "Is that what she told you?"
"Well, no," Hunter says slowly. "But—"
"Then how do you know?" Wrecker demands, pulling away. "How do you know that's what she wants? How do you know she doesn't..." He trails off, his voice thick, and he turns, and his eyes land on you. The two of you stare at each other, the space between you charged with emotion, and when he speaks again, his words are quiet, and heartbreaking. "...want me?"
"She's a Jedi," Hunter says softly. "They don't...feel those kinds of things."
Wrecker stares at you, his expression open, the longing on his face so plain, so obvious, that your knees feel weak. You can't take it anymore. You turn away, ducking into the refresher and locking the door behind you
The room is silent, the air still. There's no sound but the pounding of your heart, the blood roaring in your ears. You lean against the door and slide to the floor, wrapping your arms around your knees.
You know what you have to do, but the idea is terrifying, the thought of saying goodbye to Wrecker too painful to bear. But he's hurting, and it's because of you. You can't put him through that, not any longer. He deserves better. He deserves someone who can be with him, can give him the affection he deserves, not a cowardly Jedi who can't handle the consequences of her actions.
The realization hurts more than you thought it would, but there's nothing you can do. You've known all along that this would have to end someday, and that someday has come.
The only thing you can do is let him go.
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The next day passes in a blur, and the tension is thick in the air. Wrecker doesn't say a word, doesn't look at you, doesn't acknowledge your presence, and you're grateful for it. You can't bring yourself to look at him, and the others are quick to pick up on the change. They cast furtive glances at each other, their concern growing, and their efforts to cheer you up only make the situation worse. You'd much rather they focus their attentions on Wrecker, so you avoid all of them as best you can. 
It's easier this way. Safer. Less painful. 
And maybe, if you keep telling yourself that, you'll start to believe it.
Once you land on Kashyyyk to refuel, the five of them disappear into the village, leaving you alone to meditate. It's the one thing that can help you clear your mind, and you welcome the chance to relax.
The ship is silent, the hum of the engine the only noise, and the quiet helps soothe the ache in your chest. You close your eyes and settle onto the floor, clearing your mind and reaching out with the Force.
When you were a youngling, you were told that the Force was your ally, and you believed it. Now, you know better. The Force doesn't take sides. It simply is. It exists in everything, every living thing, and sometimes, when you meditate, you can feel it. It's a gentle brush against your senses, like a soft caress, and you let yourself sink into the feeling, allowing it to envelop you, and for a moment, everything seems to fade away.
That's why, when you hear the sound of someone approaching, you're startled, and your eyes fly open. You frown, remembering Hunter saying he'd comm you when the others were headed back. It's more than likely Tech sneaking away from the group to tinker with the ship, and so you stand, turning towards the sound.
What you see instead, however, makes your blood run cold. 
Wrecker is standing at the top of the ramp, his form silhouetted by the light outside, his eyes burning into you. You're frozen in place, unable to move, unable to think. All you can do is stare at him, trying to make sense of the expression on his face, but all you can see is anger, and your heart sinks.
"What's going on?" he asks. His voice is low, but there's an edge to it, and his shoulders are stiff.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm talking about the way you've been acting," he says, stepping further into the ship. "Ever since we left Akiva, you've been avoiding me. Why?"
"I haven't been avoiding you," you lie, turning away from him.
"Like kriff, you haven't!" he exclaims, and you flinch, the anger in his voice catching you off guard. "I've tried to talk to you, and you walk away! You won't even look at me!"
"That's not true," you argue. "I'm always—"
"Yeah, it is," he snaps. "You think I don't notice, but I do. You're always running away, avoiding me. Why? Just tell me why. Talk to me. Please."
"Wrecker..."
"Don't say my name like that," he pleads, his voice cracking. "Don't push me away. Please, cyar'ika, I need to know what's going on."
The endearment sends a jolt through your system, and you squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to cry. You've spent the past twenty-four hours doing nothing but thinking about this, trying to steel yourself for what's to come, and yet here he is, begging for answers, and you're not ready. You can't bring yourself to say the words, can't bring yourself to push him away, but if you don't, it will only get harder.
"Please," he whispers. "What did I do? How did I hurt you?"
You can't look at him, but you can't ignore him, either. The last thing you want is for him to think any of this is his fault, and so you force yourself to turn, your eyes meeting his, and your resolve breaks.
"You didn't," you murmur. "It's not your fault, I promise."
"Then tell me what's wrong," he pleads, and his voice is soft, and the desperation in it is enough to break your heart. "Tell me what I can do to fix this."
Wrecker reaches out and takes a step towards you, his hand outstretched, but the gesture is hesitant, almost as if he's afraid to touch you. When you don't move away, he steps closer, his fingers brushing the hem of your sleeve. His gaze is intense, his eyes searching yours, and the ache in his voice is enough to make you want to scream.
"I'm not good at this," he admits. "This...talking stuff. I never know what to say, and I'm sorry. If I made you uncomfortable, or did somethin' wrong, I'm sorry."
"Wrecker..."
"I just want to make things right," he whispers, and his fingers curl around your sleeve. "Just tell me how, and I'll do it. I'll fix it."
He's so earnest, so sincere, and the guilt is crushing. You can't lie to him, not anymore. Not when he's looking at you like this.
"It's not that simple," you say, and the words feel like lead in your mouth.
"Why not?" he asks, his voice raw.
"Because," you say, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. "Because I can't do this anymore, Wrecker. I can't..." You trail off, the words dying on your tongue. You can't bring yourself to say them, can't bring yourself to end things like this. But it's too late. He knows.
He drops his hand, and the look of pain on his face is almost enough to break your heart.
"Do what?" he asks, his voice shaking.
"This," you say, gesturing between the two of you. "Whatever this is. I can't keep pretending that I don't know what you mean when you call me those names. I can't keep acting like it's nothing, because it's not." 
Wrecker stumbles back a step, eyes wide.
"You knew?" he asks, and his voice is barely audible. "This whole time...?"
"Of course I knew," you say, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. "You think I could have missed it?" You try to laugh, but it comes out as a choked sob. "You're not exactly subtle, Wrecker."
"Oh," he says, and the single word holds a world of hurt. He turns away from you, his hands curling into fists at his sides, and the tension in the air is palpable. A heavy silence settles in, and when he speaks again, his voice is a hoarse whisper.
"Why didn't you say something?" he asks. "Why didn't you tell me to stop?"
"I couldn't," you say, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I...I liked it too much."
"What?" Wrecker turns, his head snapping around to face you, and his expression is torn between hope and horror.
"You heard me," you say, fighting to keep your voice steady. You turn away, but his hand finds your chin, gently tilting your face back to his. The heat of his palm burns into your skin, his touch so gentle, and your heart leaps into your throat.
"Then why are you doing this?" he asks, and the words are barely audible. "If you like it, why are you trying to push me away?"
You close your eyes, trying to gather your thoughts. It's a good question, and one you're not sure you can answer.
"Because," you start, and then trail off. When you open your eyes, his face is inches from yours, and the pain in his eyes is overwhelming. "Because I'm not meant for this. For us." You motion between the two of you. "I have a duty. A responsibility. I can't...I can't give you what you want. What you deserve."
"But I don't want anyone else,” Wrecker says softly, his thumb brushing your cheek. "I just want you."
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you close your eyes, trying not to cry. You can feel the warmth of his body, the weight of his hand, the scent of him surrounding you. You want to pull away, to run and hide, but the way his hands cradle your face, the gentleness in his touch, makes it impossible.
"You don't mean that," you whisper, the words like poison. "You can't. I'm a Jedi. You know what that means. You know what my life is. I can't give you anything, Wrecker. I can't even be there for you. I can't..."
"Stop," he whispers. 
His hands drop, moving to your shoulders, and he turns you, pulling you closer. You let him, and his arms wrap around you, his forehead resting against yours. The touch is warm and gentle, and his eyes are soft, full of pain and love. 
He's never been anything but gentle with you, even when he didn't have to be. Even when the mission demanded he take risks, put his life on the line, he was always careful with you. Always protective. Always gentle. And now, here, when the mission is over, the danger gone, he's still treating you like something precious, something to be treasured.
It's too much.
"Don't say that," he murmurs, his voice low and rough. "You don't get to tell me how I feel. You can't decide for me, cyar'ika. I'm not gonna change my mind. I'm not gonna stop caring about you. So just...just stop. Okay?"
Your hands find his, curling around his wrists. His pulse is pounding under your fingertips, and his chest is rising and falling with each breath, the beat of his heart matching the rhythm of yours. It would be so easy, so tempting, to let yourself give in. To give him the answer he wants. To give him the one thing you've wanted to give him for so long.
But you can't. You can't let him sacrifice his future, his happiness, for you. It's too much. Too selfish.
"Wrecker, please," you say, squeezing his wrists. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."
"Then don't do this," he whispers. "Don't walk away from me. Please." His voice breaks, and his fingers dig into your shoulders. "Just...just give me a chance."
You want to scream. You want to cry. You want to hit him, to shove him away, but you can't. All you can do is stare up at him, his face inches from yours, his eyes begging. It would be so easy, and yet, impossibly difficult. If you do this, if you give in, it's not just your life on the line, but his. If you give him what he wants, if you allow him to care for you, it will only lead to more heartbreak. More pain.
And yet...
You can't bring yourself to pull away, can't bring yourself to deny him. And, if you're honest with yourself, you don't want to. You've wanted this for so long, wanted him, and now that the moment has finally come, the opportunity has presented itself, you can't let it go.
"I can't," you whisper, your voice shaking.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm scared," you confess. You reach out and cup his cheek, running your thumb over the scarred tissue beneath his eye, and his expression softens. "I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not supposed to...to love you." The words come out choked, and the tears in your eyes blur your vision. "It's wrong. It's forbidden. It's...it's..."
"It's what?" he asks, his voice rough with emotion. "It's amazing? It's the best feeling in the galaxy?"
"Yes," you whisper, and the tears spill over. "But I can't do this. I can't...I can't let you sacrifice yourself for me."
"You think that's what I'm doing?" Wrecker asks. His hand slips from your shoulder, his fingers stroking your cheek, catching a tear as it falls. "Cyar'ika, I'd sacrifice myself for you a hundred times over. You think I care about what they'd say? They can go kriff themselves. I'd fight every single member of the Council for you, if I had to. But I don't need to. 'Cause they can't tell me what to do, and neither can you."
"You say that now," you mutter. "But—"
"I'll say it every day," he cuts in. "Every single day until you believe me. I don't care about them. I don't care about the rules. I just want you."
"Wrecker, stop," you whisper, but he shakes his head, his hands cupping your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks.
"I know you're scared. I know you're worried about what's going to happen. But we don't have to think about that. We can just be together. Just us. Nobody has to know. We can figure this out. Together. But you gotta let me in."
You stare at him, stunned by the strength and certainty in his words. He's right. You are scared. You're terrified. And not just of what the Council will do, or what the consequences might be. 
You're afraid of him, of the power he holds over you, the way you feel about him. But standing here, with his hands on your face, his eyes searching yours, it's enough to make you reconsider. Enough to make you question everything. And so you swallow your fears, and you say the words.
"I love you, Wrecker."
His lips part, and his eyes widen, and the sound that comes out of his mouth is halfway between a laugh and a sob.
"You mean that?" he asks, his voice tight with emotion.
"Yes," you say, and the word is like a weight lifting off your shoulders. "I do. I love you."
His arms slip around your waist, and he pulls you into him, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath warm on your face. He doesn't say anything, just stares down at you, his gaze burning, and the silence stretches on, charged with anticipation. And then, finally, he speaks.
"I love you too, cyar'ika," he says, his voice trembling. "More than you know."
Your heart feels like it's going to burst. You pull him close, burying your face in his chest, and his arms wrap around you, holding you tight. It's an overwhelming feeling, this affection, this love, but you can't deny it. Not anymore. And as you stand there, his body wrapped around yours, his hands running through your hair, you know that he's right.
"Don't let go," you whisper, your voice muffled by his armor. "Please, don't ever let me go."
"I won't," he says, his voice a rumble in his chest. "I got you, an'edee. Always."
The words send a jolt of warmth through your body, and you melt into him, allowing yourself to be swept away by the feeling. It's like coming home, the warmth and comfort washing over you, and the tension melts away, leaving only relief in its wake. 
You're not sure how long you stay there, wrapped up in each other, but when he finally pulls away, you're stunned by the look in his eyes. No one has ever looked at you like that. No one has ever seen you like he does.
"Better?" he asks, his voice gentle.
"Yes," you say, smiling up at him. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me," he says. "You don't gotta thank me. Just keep lookin' at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you love me," he murmurs.
"Oh," you reply, blushing. "Well, then, I suppose I should do my best. It wouldn't do for me to fail in that regard."
He chuckles, his hands sliding up your sides. "No, it wouldn't."
You shiver at his touch, the heat of his hands sinking into your skin. His palms are rough and calloused, and his fingers are gentle, tracing the curve of your waist. Your eyes meet, and his smile is so wide, so warm, that you can't help but return it.
"So," he says, his hands drifting lower. "Where does this leave us?"
"Us?"
"Yeah. You know, our relationship," he says. "Are we...together? Or do I still gotta keep pretendin' that you're just a friend?"
You sigh, a smile tugging at your lips. "Together, Wrecker. We're together."
"Good," he grins, his eyes bright. "'Cause I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it. Having you around, knowing how I felt, not being able to do anything about it."
"That's why I was avoiding you," you admit. "I knew if I had to spend much more time with you, I was going to break. I was already having trouble controlling my feelings. If we'd had another mission, I don't think I would have made it. I was so close to telling you how I felt."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Kriff, cyar'ika," he groans, his grip on your waist tightening. "I wish you would've said something sooner. Woulda made things a lot easier."
"I'm sorry," you murmur.
"Don't apologize," he says, his voice husky. "You're worth the wait."
Your breath catches in your throat, and his eyes flick to yours, and his grin turns mischievous.
"What is it, mesh'la?" he asks, his fingers digging into your hips. "Tell me."
"I, um..." You clear your throat, trying to ignore the way his voice makes your insides turn to mush. "It's just that...when you call me those names, it, uh, does things to me."
"Good things?" he asks, leaning in.
"Yes."
"You want me to keep saying them, then?"
"Yes."
"Well, I can do that," he murmurs. His breath is warm on your skin, his voice low and teasing. "And I can do a lot more, too. If you want me to."
You stare up at him, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, trying not to let your desire show on your face. You've never done anything like this, never even considered doing something like this. And yet, the idea of him touching you, kissing you, fills you with anticipation.
"I'd like that," you manage, your voice hoarse.
"You sure?"
"Yes."
He nods, and he leans down, his lips ghosting over yours. His eyes search your face, and he waits, and when you nod, he presses his lips to yours.
It's a slow, soft kiss, the barest brush of skin on skin. But the contact sends a thrill through your body, and you can't help but press closer, wanting more. Your hands move to the back of his neck, pushing yourself onto the tips of your toes, and he obliges, pulling you in.
His lips are warm, his tongue slick and hot as it traces the seam of your mouth. You open for him, letting him deepen the kiss, and his palm slides up your back, cradling your head. His thumb strokes your cheek, and the gentleness of the gesture sends a rush of warmth through your veins.
When the two of you finally break apart, your lungs are aching, and his breath is ragged. He leans his forehead against yours, his fingers tracing lazy circles on the back of your neck.
"Kriff, cyar'ika," he whispers, and the name sends a thrill through you. You can hear the longing, the need, in his voice, and it's enough to make your knees weak. "Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this?"
"Tell me," you say, your voice shaking.
"Too long," he murmurs. "Far too long."
You lean back, looking up at him. The adoration in his eyes takes your breath away, and you pull him down, kissing him again. This time, the kiss is deeper, more intense, and you can't hold back a moan as his tongue slips past your lips.
The noise seems to ignite something in him, because the next thing you know, his arms are around you, lifting you up with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in, and his hands roam over your back, sliding down to cup your ass. He breaks the kiss, his lips moving to your neck, and the heat of his mouth, the scrape of his teeth, makes you gasp.
Wrecker sets you down on the edge of your bunk, and the height difference is suddenly very apparent. You're not used to being on eye level with him, but now, with your legs spread, his body between them, it's impossible not to notice. His gaze rakes over you, taking in every detail, and the hunger in his eyes sends a jolt of excitement through your body.
"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, his fingers tracing the line of your jaw. He sounds awed, like he can't believe his luck, and the compliment makes your heart flutter. "So kriffing beautiful, cyar'ika." 
You lean into his touch, and his fingers brush against your lips, the callouses of his hands rough against your skin. You kiss his fingertips, and the heat in his gaze makes you blush.
"Not as beautiful as you," you murmur. He shakes his head with a wide grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
"No one's as beautiful as you," Wrecker says, his hand finding yours. His fingers lace with yours, and he raises your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of your knuckles. His touch is gentle, and the tenderness of the gesture makes your heart clench. "I could look at you forever. Never get tired of it."
The heat on your cheeks is unbearable, and you're not sure how to respond. Words can't capture the emotions coursing through you, and so you lean in, your lips meeting his in a searing kiss. He groans against your mouth, his hand finding the small of your back and pulling you flush against him.
You wrap your legs around him, the need to be closer, to feel his body pressed against yours, overwhelming. He seems to understand, his fingers tangling in your hair, his teeth nipping at your lip.
"I'm gonna take such good care of you, cyar'ika," he promises, his voice rough with emotion. "Promise."
"You already have," you whisper. "Just having you here is more than I deserve."
"Don't talk like that," he mutters. His hand slides up, cupping the back of your head, and he kisses the corner of your mouth. He tilts your face up to meet his, and the intensity of his gaze is almost overwhelming. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. I'm not gonna give that up. You're mine, and I'm not lettin' go."
The words are a jolt to your system, the possessiveness of his tone making you tremble. He's always been protective of you, but this is different. This is more than just a desire to keep you safe. This is something else entirely. You can't find the words to respond, and so you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat and praying the tears in your eyes don't spill over.
"Wrecker," you whisper. "I..."
"I love you," he murmurs, his nose brushing against yours. "So much."
The words are a balm on your aching heart, and the tears finally fall. Wrecker leans in and kisses them away, his lips soft and gentle against your cheeks. The tenderness, the closeness, it's too much to bear, and the emotions welling up inside you are overwhelming. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his chest, and he holds you tight, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.
"I got you," he whispers. "It's okay. You're okay."
"I'm sorry," you murmur. "I don't know why I'm crying."
"I do," he replies. He cups your chin, tilting your face up to meet his. His eyes are soft, and his lips curl into a gentle smile. "You've been through a lot, and you're tired. You're allowed to cry."
You nod, wiping the tears from your face. He's right. The past few days have been exhausting, emotionally and physically. Between the mission, the tension between the two of you, the anxiety and uncertainty, it's a miracle you're not falling apart.
"Hey," he murmurs. "Stop thinking so hard. It's okay."
"I'm not supposed to let my emotions get the best of me," you murmur.
"That's some banthashit, an'edee," he says, and his voice is teasing, but there's a hint of steel in it. "You're human. You're allowed to have emotions."
"I suppose," you reply, unable to keep the smile off your face.
"Good," he says, and his thumb strokes your cheek. "We'll make this work. We'll find a way."
"Wrecker," you sigh.
"Shh," he cuts in. "None of that. We're together, right?"
"Right."
"Then trust me. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you," he promises. "I'll keep you safe."
"I know," you whisper, closing your eyes.
"We'll figure it out," Wrecker says. "It might be hard, but we'll find a way. We always do."
He leans in and kisses you again, his lips soft and warm. You kiss him back, allowing yourself to give in, to let go of the fear and worry, to let yourself be swept away by the feeling. He's right. It will be difficult, but it's worth it.
This is where you belong, in his arms, and no matter what the future holds, no matter what the Order says, no matter the consequences, you know you'll always have him. And that's more than you could have ever hoped for.
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crumplstiltskin · 19 hours ago
Text
unckuna au hcs migrated from x
main post: i cant draw rn but like this for a random unckuna au hc (from my verse so dont come @ me if it doesnt fit with yours)
unedited btw so don't come for me!!! some things are subject to change bc i said so
1. sukuna daps up  young choso as a greeting bc he thinks its funny with the size difference + how choso goes along with anything
2. sukuna has the passcode and key to jin and kaori's house so they find him randomly in the house sometimes. he likes to nap on the couch bc its nice and deep
3. sukuna met kaori first but they were all involved with bad company when they were students. kaori and jin immediately started to clean up their act after they started to date
4. yuuji used to cry looking at sukuna but at one point after seeing the twins side by side he just started laughing and never stopped???? rorschach test on sukuna's face ✅
5. sukuna and jin kick their feet behind them when they do tummy time with yuuji
6. yuuji named sukuna's cat cheese burger. they call her chizu
7. choso is kaori's first child and jin's step son. he rarely calls jin "dad" (usually something similar to "mr. jin" "uncle" "sir" etc) but when he does he's shy about it and jin also tends to get teary eyed ☹️
8. sukuna lives in tokyo. kaori has long stretches where she lives in tokyo for work. jin travels back and forth between sendai and tokyo. yuuji lived with wasuke until high school+his passing, then he moved in with his parents in tokyo.
9. choso is wherever yuuji is. but when he moved to sendai the first time they cut his hair short and he sulked for a week. he had to keep it trimmed short until he graduated middle school. he went to a local vocational school instead of high school
10. when choso and yuuji go to tokyo during holidays everyone stays at sukuna’s place bc it’s bigger. otherwise kaori stays at company housing (if jin is visiting kaori he also stays with sukuna)
11. kaori is older than the twins by two years 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ ‍‍‍kenjaku (kaori’s brother) is older than the twins by three years (kk irish twins!!) jin is the older twin.
12. kaori had choso at 20, only started dating jin a couple years after that bc he was too busy pining and she was dating someone else, married jin at 26 and had yuuji the same year. choso and yuuji are 6 years apart
13. sukuna likes to offer to stand in for parent discussions about yuuji’s life. kaori never takes him seriously even if he is only half joking (he says that yuuji is also HIS bc jin and sukuna are identical twins. genetically it’s true but this does not impress her at all….)
14. megumi and yuuji met during one of the holidays he was in tokyo for. they occasionally met the following summers and sometimes ask their parents to call each other until finally they became classmates in hs (when yuuji moved out to tokyo)
15. the twins and toji knew about each other by reputation (same circles but they’ve never met and they dont wanna talk about it either 😭😭😭esp not around his innocent wife)
16. tsumiki is megumi’s neighbour+childhood friend and they basically grew up together. she sometimes stays with megumi’s family bc megumi’s mom is friends with hers and she works a lot of nights.
17. sukuna pretends to be annoyed by choso but one time after he said he doesnt love young choso he went to cry in his bed and it hurt sukuna’s feelings lol
17.1. (he remedies this later by talking to him and saying he really likes him though and he’s his best friend—all while frowning and shaking his head at kaori who was watching)
18. sukuna and uraume have been besties since elementary school. uraume used to have a crush on jin (but they never liked sukuna that way for reasons related to his personality ☠️)
19. sukuna fixes cars and motorcycles in his free time. he only has space for a single bike in his garage, but he often visits one of kenjaku’s properties to work on other ones that kenjaku has.
20. kenjaku is in prison‼️‼️‼️
21. yuuji and toji’s rs is exactly like that one radio episode where they talked about yuuji being a (lovable) nuisance to his life…megumi’s mom and tsumiki both treat him like family
See: [podcast] Will Toji & Itadori get along well?
22. when jin and kaori ask yuuji about nobara they always refer to her as his gf (not true, they aren’t dating, never will). nobara always complains about it when she comes over and begs on hands and knees for them to stop (they dont bc they think its funny)
23. as an infant yuuji liked to sleep on sukuna’s chest bc of the cushion :robloxmanface: jin got jealous and started working out just bc of that
24. nobara and kaori are so close sometimes they go on little shopping dates and send the pictures to yuuji and jin🤷‍♂️ people on her insta keep asking her if “her mom” is single and yuuji fights for his life in the replies
25. sukuna also gets a lot of attention on yuuji and nobara’s socials but they leave him to the dogs. if it gets crazy they just start blocking everyone after sending them the link to sukuna’s account
26. megumi’s insta is just candids of his friends and dogs mixed into photography. no captions except on bday posts
27. if yuuji asks his parents for something and they say no, he will sometimes ask sukuna if he is desperate (who will always say yes if its amusing enough bc hes an enabler)
28. yuuji makes sukuna do a duet with him every time they bring out the karaoke machine at big family parties (sukuna just stands there breathing into the mic)
29. jin is a stay-at-home husband 👍 kaori’s the one making bank and insisting jin wear his cute lil apron when she comes back home
30. as an infant yuuji only ate whatever jin/wasuke/sukuna made. they didnt feed him any processed food unless it was baby puffs or something like that
31. heights for fun (sorry uraume they gave you a lil boy body….or am i…🤨)
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32. the only person sukuna is scared of is jin and maybe wasuke one time when he got mad (he's usually pretty mild-mannered, just frowns a lot)
33. sukuna has never had a steady gf in his life🤷‍♂️ when they start getting too comfortable with him and telling him what to do he cuts them off
34. he always introduces girls he's interested in (beyond hooking up) to uraume. if uraume thinks the vibes are off even a little bit he drops them. jin and wasuke have only seen a few in passing
35. tw????? sukuna uses "gay" the millennial way. as in "wack"
36. yuuji has  tried to wash/rub off/erase sukuna's tattoos on several occasions
37. jin and sukuna greet each other by wrestling and doing silent takedowns. when yuuji gets big enough he also does the same thing with sukuna (sukuna never lets him win until he actually starts taking martial arts classes and he has to take him seriously😭 sore loser)
38. besides his own food sukuna only eats homemade food his family (wasuke, jin, yuuji + uraume) make. he’ll eat kaori’s food if jin makes him but he pretends to have a hard time swallowing it
39. sukuna is always in bed by 11pm!!! he sleeps in the dark with blackout curtains and a pillow on his head. doesn’t move an inch. hotel sheets with high thread count. bedroom never above 20 degrees celsius
40. sukuna used to steal food off yuuji’s plate to mess with him but after he noticed that yuuji would push his plate closer to him on purpose (to feed his poor uncle) he stopped 😔
41. child yuuji has called sukuna to finish a tub of ice cream (to get rid of evidence) that he shouldn’t have been eating but bc sukuna was all the way in tokyo and yuuji in sendai he couldn’t save him from getting scolded by wasuke 💔
42. sukuna has billed a girl for staining his shirt with makeup
43. sukuna and uraume sometimes pretend to be father and child to get family discount 👍
44. twins and uraume are only one year apart. they are just built different…sukuna built like an industrial fridge, uraume like an immortal elf on the shelf.
45. sukuna and yuuji decorated yuuji’s first helmet together (for skateboarding). the theme was dinosaur but it ended up looking like a rooster
46. the glovebox in his car still has stickers yuuji stuck on when he was small
47. once jin caught sukuna going🥰😚😝 with baby yuuji and when sukuna realized he was being watched he pretended to be asleep…��..
48. sukuna has an album on his phone just for yuuji. half of it is burst pics of baby yuuji in action (dont ask why he didnt just take a video)
49. jin matches his outfits to yuuji’s
50. when they lived separately sukuna would sometimes get blurry pictures from jin’s phone of things yuuji would photograph (baby foot, jin’s scalp, wasuke in the garden, etc) and sukuna would text back very seriously (eg “tell your dad i can pay for his trip to turkey”)
51. whenever he babysits outside of the house and comes to pick up yuuji sukuna asks where “his accessory” is in reference to the baby and kaori hates it😭😭😭
52. if he HAS to, sukuna only uses metal tin containers for food. you can distinguish who made yuuji’s lunch that way (metal tin + looks gourmet = sukuna, food with faces +cute dividers = jin)
53. uraume and sukuna always invite yuuji to test new menus so he’s kind of acquainted with sukume’s industry friends. they think he has a gift in it too.
54. megumi and choso are so awkward together they usually sit in silence if left alone in a room….yuuji and sukuna think it’s so funny for some reason
55. jin is the last person to realize yuuji and megumi are dating when they eventuslly do. sukuna is the one to tell him but kaori (clocked it, asked nobara) and sukuna (mental math) realize first.
56. sukuna’s cat is a ginger maine coon😊
57. sukuna built a catio behind his shophouse for his cat
58. sukuna wears saxx underwear
59. sukuna and gojo go on food and bar crawls together (they play stupid games to see who should pay. gojo always pays)
60. choso is a nurse🫶
61. yuuji gets ""free"" scans at the hospital whenever he thinks he broke something (9 times out of 10 he's fine)
62. when yuuji calls for “dad” sukuna will always look, sometimes he’ll catch himself almost responding (jin always catches him too)
63. choso doesnt actually have the face tattoo in this au. i just draw it  bc i thats what i’m used to 🙃 sukuna has all his tattoos though
64. sukuna thinks blended chicken protein shake is an abomination. he believes in chewing your meat (his fav protein shake is vanilla flavor)
65. jin always greets yuuji at the door when he comes home (before anyone asks he likes to act busy when kaori does so she can backhug him hahahahhaha)
66. difference between bffs
🐯🐺= they also kiss…
🐯🔨= act like siblings
⛩️❄️= evil girl telepathy, will snicker about you together without saying anything
67. sukuna is the type to get a new phone just bc his gallery is full also “doesnt it look cool though” (jin gives him the dad look)
68. yuuji was the deciding factor (excuse) for sukuna not to have his own child bc when he realized during a discussion b/w jin and sukuna that his uncle wouldn’t have time for him he got sad and cried lol
69. when sukuna takes choso and yuuji out together he makes them hold hands and walk infront of him so they dont get kidnapped 😭
70. sukuna has gotten emo over yuuji outgrowing his baby clothes. jin straight up bawled
71. if they don’t meet for a while (12+ hours) and sukuna lifts his hand yuuji will get under his arm for a hug. choso will get a shoulder squeeze or a sidehug and jin will get his ribs crushed. he nods his chin at kaori (very rude)
72. bc they grew up together and choso has been fussing over yuuji ever since he was born, yuuji is the only person choso is comfortable hugging and making extended physical contact with. he doesn’t mind his mother touching him but anyone else?? very flustered
73. sukuna treats nobara like family and he’ll call her his neice if a random person asks. has let her apply makeup over his tattoos for fun, will drive her places if kaori isn’t around. they also talk about luxury brands together….
74. when yuuji was sick as a baby jin would cuddle him the entire time so he can feel warm. if sukuna is around he’d also take shifts with jin. they wouldnt let wasuke bc he might get sick (sukuna: he might pass away from a cough)
75. sukuna got jin a baby wrap for the above reason….otherwise yuuji would cry his head off if he was put down for even a second
76. (when sick) yuuji cried less the older he got but he would still hold his caretaker’s hand and follow them around the house if they were making food, etc…
77. yuuji doesn’t cry a lot or make a fuss in general though 🤷‍♂️he’s the kind of kid to wave at strangers and say hello
78. the rare times yuuji gets combative is bc sukuna is provoking him 😭 that stands true throughout his life. bc if he has questions they all answer him and he takes it as true (sukuna will lie and then yuuji looks foolish which will lead to arguments)
79. callback to the tweet below but yuuji has asked sukuna on several occasions if he has a job to do when his uncle gets on his nerves
i realize sukuna acts jobless in the unckuna au but its only bc he gets to make his own hours most of the time if he’s not booked for an event/job 😭
80. after yuuji and nobara start posting sukuna online his insta and business profiles go viral. the requests get concerning sometimes but every time there’s a big private/foreign one yuuji asks if he can go (answer is always no)
81. sukuna, jin, and yuuji (after childhood) come down with a cold maybe two times a year. choso and kaori get sick more often. and choso plays it up bc hes dramatic
82. megumi has been scouted by modeling agents a few times. of all the times it happened while out with nobara she chased them away out of spite (not that megumi was interested in the first place)
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thatsveryvortex · 3 days ago
Text
Writing Tools for Planning Your Story
I've tried tons of writing apps and sites, so you don't have to. Here's a list of free sites to plot out your novel, with my review and some images of how I use it.
Milanote
Milanote is like having a giant pinboard with folders. You can upload anything onto it [yes even your main doc] and then draw over it or connect things with lines and arrows
Milanote lets you add up to a hundred things for free, not including drawing. This is one of the downsides of the site as I've found myself reaching that limit recently.
For me, the best part is being able to draw over stuff, and the color swatches.
Milanote is a lot less structured than other sites I've used, and personally, I don't think their templates are worth using.
8/10 overall, Milanote is what I mainly use. Here are some pics of how I use it:
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Miro
Miro is a flowchart website mainly used for corporate jobs, however, it can be a great plotting tool for that reason
Miro has a lot of great starter templates if you are looking for a more structured freeform experience. It also comes with a blank page as well.
Unfortunately, I'd argue that it's a bit of a hard tool for beginners to use without a template, I've learned copy-paste is my best friend with Miro the hard way.
It's much better than most platforms at making timelines though.
It has a limit of three boards which is a bit disappointing but overall, I think it's worth the try.
5/10 Miro is very middle of the road for me due to the limited ability to customize things and the free limit. Here are some pics:
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[I wrote that part weeks ago, I am now fully using Miro and believe it's the best for making timelines and charts, I just wish it let me make more boards 8/10]
Hiveword
This might be someone's jam, I can't really say it's mine though.
First off, the unpaid version is really just a few boxes saying "Write a summary here." which makes it just not worth it in my opinion
There really isn't any way to customise things which is my favorite part of most of these softwares
I've barely used this, so maybe there's something I'm missing but
1/10, Just use Google Docs at this point, here's a couple pics
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World Anvil
People like this software, it's mainly used for tabletop, which is just a different way of writing adventure, and I've seen it recommended by authors.
Unfortunately, I'm going to disagree with a lot of people and say it's hard to use and isn't even really good at plotting.
I may be biased on this one as every time I've tried to use it in the past I've struggled. However, it seems like another just write it in a document and create a folder.
I'd say it's closer to an organizing tool, but even then just use something else.
3/10, I have nothing to say about it but maybe you'll enjoy it, all here are two photos
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Campfire
This is the one I think I've heard the most about, but have never actually tried.
right off the bat, I'm going to say this is 100% worth it, you'll see at the end with the photos but this is like if Miro and World Anvil had an organization baby.
It's extremely easy to understand, and it makes timelines, it's more for writing your whole book but idk about that yet.
7/10, its themes are really pretty but it limits how much you can do to 20 I believe. Here are the photos
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That's all for now, honestly, I think you should use Miro if you are looking to plot things out, and Milanote if you want to collect and organize your thoughts for writing, as that's what I do. Obviously what I like won't be for everyone, but hopefully, this helped you see some options
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alroma1 · 2 days ago
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Some Uncanny thoughts
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Some thoughts about this issue but more like about this run so far.
One thing I am sorry to say about this issue is that its clearly shows that Marquez needs a break. Art is good in Rogue scenes but battle scenes feel like half done. Mangakas usually corrects things for volume release so I wonder is this is possible for american comics
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1. So first thing first. Simone did tell on twitter that the most controversial page from this issue is going to be two women talking in office and she didnt lie. I have fall out of comics for some time so I dont remember exact timeline but if Rogue used to live in NYC for some time maybe she just didnt want to sound like country bumpkin. Thats usually main reasons people try get rid of accents. Maybe she wanted to do something more public. At the end scene mixes with reality but it makes me question if Harvey powers actually messed up whole scene and its not really how it was. The quote used in the scene if from 9th sonnet of Shakespeare.
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2. Jubilee comment how Jitter and Deathdream had each other backs and it was implied before. Could be something behind that closeness. Like they are yin\yang variation.
3. Sarah singled out Calico pretty fast. I think its too early to let go of idea that girl somehow related to Sarah or Xavier,
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4. Zero surprise about Sarah. Something was clearly off with her story. She might be a mutant but her story feel more mystical than sci-fyish. People pointed about Llorona but it reminded me of slavs version of mermaids - rusalka-s, In versions I read they were either girls who drowned themselves or dead unbaptised babies. Sarah kinda fits both since she said she was pagan. If she didnt lie that is.
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5. Remy Lebeau gathers death flags faster than mushrooms grows after the rain. But its all so right in your face that to me it looks like misdirection.
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6. People say Harvey having healing powers is way too convenient and they are right. But its feel like a reason for this is pretty clear. Simone didnt want Rogue to take Logan healing factor. After battle too. Because something going to happen when she probably do it eventually. There are two things I can think of and I suspect both are true
a)If she absorbs Logan his thoughts would flow right in her mind and she going to have some kind of discovery. If you wonder what kind of... well let me get you a few hints or what I think it is. In 3 issue during kitchen talk there was what I suspect very feeble reference to very conflicting arc in x-men history. Also unlikely old Louisiana manor has sound isolation.
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7. Also b) I really suspects Logan has R-lds. And by the time he met with Rogue and Remy in first issue he practically went blind. His eyes still havent regenerated at the start of issue and even though it happened somewhere during the fight at the end he stll wears blindfold. Like theres no difference. Might be the reason for moonbeam nickname. Thats literally how he sees Rogue now. Simone did write though that he called another X-lady like that in the past and I wonder who it was.
So if Rogue absorbs him now would she also get R-lds? I dont remember her and Remy being resurrected during Krakoa but I might be wrong.
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I know "fuck canon" is always an option and generally the more sensible thing to do, but with last night's episode I had two smidgens of HOPE and now with Tim's apparent new interview I just want to crawl back into my cave again 🫥
Hi nonnie!
TLDR (cause I'm having THOUGHTS): I don't think anything is off the table, if I had to bet money I'd lay somewhat decent odds that Buck and Tommy get back together, and I don't think either side of the ship war has anything in particular that indicates victory.
I'll preface this by saying yes, 'fuck canon'is usually the more sensible option. 'Fuck canon' is where no one ever dies, people do not make stupid decisions, and couples never break up.
And I'll also preface this by saying that Buck is my favorite character (honestly one of my favorite characters of all time, not just this show) and my ultimate OTP is Buck/Happiness in this show, however he gets it and whoever gives it to him. I am quite happy being a multishipper and I started out in fandom spaces back in the mid-nineties, where the etiquette and relationship to the content were vastly, vastly different than today and that really colors the lense I view fandom through. In the ship war, I'm mostly Switzerland.
Still with me? Okay.
My main source of optimism re: Buck/Tommy is the simple fact that guys...911 is Not That Deep. It's a fun show (usually), predicated on ridiculous Situations (increasingly), and in movie terms is a cash-grab popcorn flick. Have they hit something with the characters and actors that often elevates it above its station? Absolutely. Are there parts that make you go, "whoa, this came from the shark on a highway weewoo show?" Of course! But 911 isn't fucking Inception. There's no hidden messages and jaw-dropping plot twists that No One Saw Coming.
Like...all the cries about "learn some media literacy you cretins!" really have me scratching my head because, uh, taking everything solely at face value--this absolutely is the Third Act Miscommunication in the relationship. Both parties expressed a desire for the relationship to be more. They broke up on the tried and true "I'm doing this for both our sakes'even though it hurts" and not a dealbreaker schism which they ABSOLUTELY could have done. Literally, one scene of "wow I can't wait to be a dad/oh, uh that's not something I want" and we have a reason to break up that has the exact same "no villains just circumstance" vibe.
On the other hand, it absolutely is a stopping point that is believably permanent.
They went out of their way to show how desperately much Buck wants to talk to Tommy (like we turned it into a meme, but they didn't really have to show him baking That Much) and how he's spiraling in a way we haven't really seen since Abby. In a Hallmark romcom this would be where the audience is reassured that our plucky protagonist has Real Feelings for the LI.
On the other hand, the show often uses Buck as comic relief and the keep away with the phone could absolutely be the indicator that this breakup isn't as serious as Buck thinks it is and he should move on.
The interviews are pretty disheartening, but the interviews for this show really honestly have always had a kind of weird monkey's paw quality to them. Like, they don't lie exactly, but there's a lot of misdirect.
As it stands now, the relationship 100% reads like a Hallmark romcom that is being written by people who Had a Gay Friend In College Guys, So of COURSE We Know What We're Doing...wait why are you discoursing?
On the other hand, as it stands now, it also wouldn't be surprising if this was the end. I honestly don't think they have 100% decided how it's going to go and the writing and especially the pacing this season has been so uneven that it's not hiding the flaws in the storytelling as well as it usually does.
But, if canon goes in a direction I don't like, I have no problem saying 'fuck canon' ;)
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remiratboi · 10 hours ago
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Float
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Yandere!G/NTentacleMonsterXG/NFatReader
CW: Near death, drowning, grief, loss of family to car accident (mentioned, not explicit), monster fucking, noncon that turns to dubcon, stalking, yandere, tentacles, obsession, ovipositor, breeding, oviposition, anal, insertion, maybe Stockholm Syndrome?
The waves lapped at your edges. The sky above you was overcast and threatening to rain. You gazed up from where you floated on the water. It was serene and peaceful.
You loved this lake. Every summer you and your family had spent their summers at this lake, in their vacation cabin. It was just up the beach a short ways. Now, you’re an adult, and your family is gone. This cabin became your haven.
For a few years after the incident, you tried keeping up a job, but your heart wasn’t in it anymore. You sold everything you owned, took that and your inheritance, and moved permanently to the little two bedroom cabin.
It was secluded and only a few other families had homes here. You were the only one who lived here year round.
It was for those reasons you regularly felt comfortable enough to wade into the waters, naked. It was freeing. Being in nature, no restrictions, just floating. You felt like you were one with the soft waves.
Scattered droplets of rain plunked into the water around you. It was soft and slow. You knew you should head to shore. The clouds threatened worse than some rain. It would be just like you to get electrocuted in the middle of nowhere. You rolled your eyes at yourself.
5 more minutes, you thought. If the rain got a lot worse, you’d go quicker. But you loved these moments. The sky darkening by the second, rain falling around you. Totally isolated and at peace.
You shouldn’t have waited those meaningless 5 more minutes.
It started with a light brush on your ankle. You wrote it off as weeds or a small fish. When something wrapped around your calf, though, it was harder to ignore.
You splashed in the water, trying to jerk your leg away. Whatever was holding it, held tight. A cold panic ran through your body. This was a small, very inland, fresh water lake. Nothing here should be able to grip you the way this thing was. Your analytical brain ran through a hundred different possibilities while you thrashed.
You tried swimming anyway, but very quickly found yourself turned around as the storm raised the waves higher. Tears rolled down your face. You gripped the… thing on your leg and tried to wrench it off. It held tight. It felt like flesh, something pulsed. It seemed content to just hold your leg, and soon it became the least of your worries.
Waves crashed around you, pushing you under. You fought against the pressure, gasping breaths when you could. Lightning flashed in the sky. Close, too close.
A part you relaxed when you consciously realized you were going to die. You had been fighting for so long. Desperately trying to live and function. But your mental health had been bad long before your entire family died in a tragic car accident. At this point, you were shocked to realize, you almost welcomed death. Well, not death so much, as silence. No longer listening to the voices in your head. No longer missing those you’d lost. While you didn’t desire death, you found it didn’t upset you as much as you’d expected.
Another flash of lighting. The sky was almost black now. Your chest was full of water, and your muscles burned. You didn’t want to fight anymore.
You closed your eyes and stilled your limbs. The waves pushed you down immediately. Your chest burned as you tried not to breathe in the water, but soon you couldn’t help yourself. You gasped and water rushed in. It was more painful than you’d expected. You opened your eyes and gazed up at the surface of the water. You could see its movements, but it felt like it was a thousand miles away.
Some part of your brain registered that the thing holding your leg tightened. The water around you started moving faster. Your vision started to fade and you tried to focus on all the happiest moments of your life. Thinking grew harder until all you could picture was your favourite family photo from a few christmases ago. Their smiling faces brought you comfort as the world slipped away.
*********
You were wrenched back to life and heaved water from your lungs. You sat up, coughing, tears streaming down your face. You were freezing. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but you found yourself on a smooth, damp stone in what appeared to be a cave. The water was black and inky next to you.
You sat naked, and shivering. Where were you? Was this death?
“Why are you so sad?” A smooth voice rung out, startling you. You couldn’t identify where it came from as it bounced off the cave walls. It seemed to have some light accent to it. The way the words were said felt overly enunciated and clipped.
You gathered your knees to your chest and tried to cover your body. You couldn’t help a shiver roll through you.
“Please, why are you so sad?” The voice asked again. You thought it came from the water.
“Wh… who are you?” You stuttered out.
“Rav” the voice replied.
“Rav? Is that your name?” You asked.
“Name.” The voiced seemed to play with the word. “Rav is me. Who are you?”
“Um, Rav, where are we?” You ignored their question.
“Near home.” Rav answered. You thought you could make out an area of water that didn’t behave like the rest.
“Near my home?” You moved your head to the side to try to catch a different angle of the creature.
“My home.” Rav answered. You nodded to yourself.
“Can you come closer?” The fear almost stopped you from asking. Rav didn’t answer for a moment, but then you saw the water ripple.
Slowly they came into your view. You didn’t even know what to call them. Creature seemed accurate. They had a humanoid head, but their skin was as black as the water. They had large all black eyes and no nose. Their lips looked human, but the gills on their neck told you they didn’t need a mouth to breathe.
“Hi.” You said, then chuckled at yourself. What a ridiculous thing to say in a ridiculous situation.
“Hello.” Rav replied. They continued up the rock and emerged from the water. Their body far surpassed their head in strangeness. They had limbs similar to arms and legs, but they were long, thick tentacles. They had several smaller tentacles along their torso. These seemed to move of their own will, squirming and writhing. Rav walked… slithered? You weren’t sure, up the rock towards you. They were also naked, but didn’t seem to share human anatomy.
“Will you take me home?” You looked up into their black eyes above you. Rav looked down at you with what you thought to be an amused smile.
“Home not safe for you. Deep.” You thought that they didn’t have any problems with speech, but their knowledge seemed to be limited.
“My home.” You clarified. Rav shook their head.
“You are so sad at home.” You laughed self deprecatingly at their words.
“It’s not about the home. I’m just sad.”
“Rav make you happy.” They said and held out a hand… tentacle.
“Uh, thank you, but I am quite happy on my own.” You didn’t take their tentacle.
“You killed yourself.” Rav stated, unconvinced.
“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.” You forced a wide, fake smile. Rav didn’t seem to believe you.
“You cry often.” Rav shook their head sadly. “Rav can’t watch anymore.”
Watch?!
“Yeah, I… uh I lost some people I love, and it’s been hard. But I’m ok, really. It’s part of moving on.” You hesitantly reached out and patted their still extended tentacle.
“Rav will help you.” They answered, and smiled a strange, eerie smile at you. You guessed they were trying to imitate yours. “Rav has loved you for a long time.”
Loved?!
“You don’t know me?” You started feeling uneasy and tried scooting back on the rock. You became very aware of your nakedness.
“Rav does know you. Rav has watched you for many years. You are always so sad, and Rav can fix that. Rav can love you, can make you feel good.” They stepped forward, claiming back the space you’d put between you.
“Th-thank you for saving me, now please take me home, I want to go home.” You pushed further until a hard wall pressed against your back. Rav continued stepping forward.
“No. Rav can… I can show you.” They spoke slowly. You had to credit how fast they seemed to learn, but that didn’t stop you from cowering at their feet.
You felt something slide up your leg again and you thrashed, trying to escape. It was like blood in the water and with your movement, suddenly their tentacles were everywhere. Your arms were quickly gripped and pulled straight out. Your legs unbent and spread also. In a flash, you were spread eagle in the air, hanging just above Rav, trapped by their tentacles. Tears ran down your face again. It wasn’t hard to guess what they meant by “make you feel good”.
More tentacles joined the others, seemingly unending. They ran over your bare cunt. You were ashamed that in that moment, you thought about how long it had been since you’d been fucked. A part of you almost wanted this. You were so lonely. And Rav was right, you were so sad. You tried snapping yourself out of it.
One tentacle sucked onto your clit and pulsed. You couldn’t help the cry of surprise that ripped itself from your lips. This just seemed to fuel the creature in front of you. They plunged a thick tentacle into your cunt, in one deep thrust. You cried out half in pain and half in pleasure.
Rav didn’t seem to have much experience, but what they lacked, they made up for in sheer number of appendages. They seemed desperate, tentacles roaming over every inch of your body. Each noise, movement, or reaction from you made them repeat the action that had elicited it. They played with your nipples and clit. Those seemed to pull the best reactions from you.
Another tentacle pushed against your ass, and before you could even gargle out a plea, it plunged just as deep as the one in your cunt. You moaned loudly. Two thick tentacles rested inside you. The sucker on your clit continued pulsing. A new tentacle circled your throat and rested near your lips. Rav seemed to understand you needed to breathe, but it played with your lips, pushing in slightly, exploring.
After a while of this, you started feeling desperate yourself. Rav was playing with you. Their tentacles stayed still inside you, the one on your clit pushing you along, but never tipping you over the edge.
You squirmed, trying desperately to deny your desire. You didn’t want this. You wouldn’t beg. They would get bored eventually. Right?
“Please.” you felt yourself mutter.
“Please?” Rav replied in a questioning tone.
“Please ma-make me cum.” So much for not begging.
“Cum?” They questioned again.
“M-move them.” You stuttered out. You ground your hips into the tentacles for emphasis. Rav looked from your face to your cunt, confused. It seemed to dawn on them what you wanted as you pushed yourself against their tentacles.
Rav thrust the two even deeper inside you. You let out a mangled cry and your vision was full of speckles.
“Too deep!” You cried. Rav pulled the tentacles back out, almost leaving your body all together. Then they thrust them back in, but only to about where they had them the first time. You moaned loudly and leaned your head back. Now they understood.
Rav started pushing the two thick tentacles in and out of you at a wicked pace. You practically screamed and writhed on them. After a long time of being kept on edge, your orgasm crashed through you almost instantly. You squeezed your eyes shut. Rav didn’t stop pounding into you.
Their pace didn’t falter. You felt so full. Two, thick, long tentacles curled deep inside you. You could feel the suckers along them pulling at your insides. It was incredible and bizarre. It wasn’t long until a second orgasm ripped through you.
“You’re ready.” Rav said, focus solely on your dripping cunt.
“Wha…” you tried to ask, but your brain was starting to feel like mush. You felt like you were floating again.
The tentacle in your cunt withdrew, while the other stayed, but slowed down. It lazily moved in and out of you. Something new pressed against your cunt and you gathered your strength to pull your head up. A slit had opened on Rav’s lower half and a thick, very bulbous tentacle had emerged. It pressed against you. It was wider than the other, but not by much, and your cunt was dripping. Your fat pussy lips embraced the tip of whatever this was.
Rav groaned as they slowly pushed the new tentacle into you. It settled against your cervix. They didn’t move this one. You watched as something glowing could be seen moving from their body, through the tentacle. It was slightly larger than the tentacle, and made a round imprint as it moved. You froze.
“Wait-” you started. You tried, in vain, to wiggle away. Rav tightened their grip.
The thing moved out of your view and you felt it inside you. Soon it was pressing against your cervix. You cried out and sobbed. The pain was incredible. You tried frantically to squirm away, but it was no use. You felt the thing push through and enter your deepest parts.
To your horror, another glowing egg started travelling towards your pussy. And another. Soon the tentacle was full of them. You begged with incoherent words. It was no use.
Egg after egg pushed into you. Your stomach bulged with them. A faint glow shone through your skin. You blacked out at one point, and were awoken by a painful orgasm. It burned, and fuelled you. You started enjoying the feeling of the eggs slip into you. You had never felt so full before.
Finally, stomach tight and glowing, Rav pulled out of you. They lowered you and pressed you against their body. Something like a coo came out of their mouth and they looked down at you with what couldn’t be mistaken for anything but complete adoration.
“You did very good.” They comforted. You found yourself blushing and hiding your face against their chest. For some reason you felt safe. Some part of you recognized that was insane, but you had been alone, so truly, bitterly alone for so long. Years. Was it really so bad to let this creature comfort you?
*********
In the weeks that followed, Rav returned you to your home. They couldn’t be out of water for long, but they spent as much time as they could with you. You’d sit in the bathroom and read to them while they sat in the tub. As it turns out, they were incredibly intelligent, and wildly curious. They had an innocence you had never experienced.
They were clever too. Witty as all hell, and kind. As your stomach grew, so did your feelings. As crazy as it was, you fell in love with this creature. They were also alone. Their family didn’t seem to work the way humans did. They didn’t stay, they weren’t raised. They were laid and left. But Rav had spent their childhood watching you and your family. They wanted something different.
Somehow, in the strangest way, you had both found a new family. You were, finally, happy.
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purpldawne · 1 year ago
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being an irl of a character is hilarious im playing twst again after like,, a year and JUMPED when someone offhandedly mentioned cater by name. like,, that's me.
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finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using
#feels so selfish like. all this skin what am i saving it for?#open to design suggestions! (please make me regret this offer)#maybe some deep sea horrors. a pretty watercolor of a gulper eel#once saw a person on the subway with various Skeleton Tattoos on all their limbs#i respected their commitment to the theme#but more than that i respected how all the skeletons were engaged in Activities#dancing in a ballgown. juggling its own (and two other???) skulls. swordfighting. being a mermaid skeleton#ANYWAY. the only reason i haven't already gotten tattoos is i just couldn't be bothered#i'm old enough to know i don't have any strong-but-potentially-temporary feelings driving me towards it#aesthetically i prefer decorated to non-decorated surfaces. but i'm not artistic or thrilled with commitment#honestly it feels like sheer laziness. indecisiveness--nay. immaturity!--that i HAVEN'T gotten a tattoo yet#letting all this blank canvas go to waste. tut tut i need to grow up and be an adult and get a tattoo sleeve already.#really i've put off my responsibilities long enough#(in fairness i DID at one time have 18 different piercings)#(but i took most of them out bc they interfere with wearing headphones and/or shoving my face in my pillow during Sleep Time)#(i only kept the nape piercing bc oddly enough it ended up being the most convenient. and the least painful to get now i think about it.)#(neck piercing? no problem. normal pair of earrings? Tribulations And Suffering. i don't make the rules i just poke them with a stick.)
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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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lessnowon · 5 months ago
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anyways, i'm just dropping by to say fuck jk rowling and that snape being romantically in love with lily is really stupid when it would be more narratively and thematically consistent (and, frankly, more compelling) if his love for her was familial
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liquidstar · 10 months ago
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wanted to post the royals and co. as a set for reference, though the only new things here are the king+queen and koe's updated design :p also most of them didn't get little infoboxes so those will be a first under the cut here ^_^
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Name: Andromeda (Andy)
Name origin: The Andromeda Galaxy, named for the mythical princess
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Heir apparent
Weapon: Flamberge (Same as her mom's)
Ethos (Power): None
Flaw power is based on: N/A
Notes: She wants to go on adventures someday, and make a lot of friends, and be normal. So please drop the "Your highness" and call her Andy!
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Name: Cepheus
Name origin: The constellation Cepheus, the king
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 54
Title: King
Weapon: Scepter
Ethos (Power): Authority (The ability to control people’s actions through his words, but not their minds)
Flaw power is based on: His controlling and paranoid nature
Notes: He prefers not to use his ability unless it seems necessary, but ends will justify the means.
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Name: Cassiopeia
Name origin: The constellation Cassiopeia, the queen
Pronouns: She/her
Age: -
Title: Queen
Weapon: Flamberge
Ethos (Power): Alis (The ability to generate wings)
Flaw power is based on: Her overconfidence in her own abilities, ironically like a completely different winged mythological figure...
Notes: Before being the Queen, she was the Hero.
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Name: Koeia/Koe
Name origin: The star Koeia, whose name literally means "Star"
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 20
Title: Maid/Andromeda's lady in waiting
Weapon: Twin Sickles
Ethos (Power): Blessing (She can make others more powerful through cheering them on)
Flaw power is based on: Her Obsequiousness
Notes: She assures you her devotion to the princess is strictly for non-homosexual reasons
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Name: Perseus/Percy
Name origin: The constellation Perseus, the hero
Pronouns: He/him
Age: 21
Title: 1st Knight/Andromeda's personal guard
Weapon: Harpē sword
Ethos (Power): Divine swordstrike (An all-powerful swing of the sword with no limit)
Flaw power is based on: His incredible arrogance and show-offishness
Notes: He assures you that his showy devotion to the princess is as heterosexual as it seems. Also he's the cousin Io from Nova Stella
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Name: Ursa
Name origin: Ursa major, the big dipper.
Pronouns: She/her
Age: 38
Title: Major
Weapon: None
Ethos (Power): Bear-handed (Her claws are unbreakable and can slice through any material)
Flaw power is based on: Her hyper-diligence. Her ruthless devotion and adherence. Literally nothing could ever stand in her way.
Notes: She’s the mama bear of Kochab (Ursa minor) from the timber scouts
#reason i wanted to change koe's design was bc i felt like the first one was a bit too basic ig?#wanted to give it more personality beyond being a maid outfit#so a funkier skirt and shorter sleeves and gloves and stuff. idk its more koe and less maid. but still maid#other than that obviously are the two wholly new characters#honestly designing them was interesting in a way bc it was like reverse engineering andys face#i think she takes after her mom more tho#but she also does try to emulate her so thats also part of it#honestly andy is really similar to amary in a lot of ways not just bc of the whole princess thing but the family dynamics to a degree too#there are still some pretty big differences (andy wasnt abused but her father is still really strict and constraining out of worry#and amary's mom was actually kinda the polar opposite of andy's and their emulations are completely different too)#BUT#look read cepheus's flaw. hes not going to be a good guy lol#hes the type that starts out nice enough on the surface but when pushed it will become. again. ends justify the means#very.... 'my way or the highway' type guy i guess. but with power#cassiopeia s more noble than that though despite any arrogance in her skills#its like one side of a balancing act lost#again look at her power. its wings! wings mean freedom! no restraint! touch the sky!#unfortunately kingdoms arent usually about that is the thing#maybe andy can fix it now though#but honestly andy percy and ursa are pretty much all just here for convenience#it wouldve been easier to have a ref post lumping all royals and andy's entourage together. and ursa i guess idk where else shed go lol#i thought abt putting her w the zodiac knights but their theme is too uniform. background color is the same tho so same affiliation#w the royals#also does anyone get my amazing joke. shes a major. major ursa. ursa major. i know i know#ill be here all week#finn's ocs#oc references#finn's art
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lambjock · 19 days ago
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i think that viewing the little hope relationships as just ‘family’ ( specifically : blood family, ones with traditional roles and relationships, one bred from a nuclear familial structure ) has a habit of dismissing them entirely. it is not blood that binds them together, nor is it family structures, and throughout every iteration of their lives things change. sometimes they’re merely neighbors with a slim portion of blood relation, sometimes they’re bound by flimsy paper or war, and sometimes they’re students at a college following their professor around. the nature of their relationships change, as do their circumstances and surroundings, but they ( as a mismatched unit ) are eternally bound and divided by a child and an inherent, unescapable tragedy. the important aspect of their relationships is that they are agonized individuals who are stuck together and wouldn’t like to be. the important theme between them is that despite their determined suffering, all the bad ways they clash, and in spite of a bubbling self loathing so awful that it literally kills them, they have found love and comfort in each other anyway, or perhaps have realized a love that has always been there. there’s no ‘i love you as a daughter’ between angela and taylor, just as much as there isn’t any ‘i love you as a sibling’ between dennis and tanya. they just love each other. even the clarke family, arguably the most familial bond they have, still isn’t traditional. none of them are blood and all of them are strangers inside their own home. they don’t look alike and they don’t share dna and they typically don’t care for the facade of a family either, more content to treat each other like roommates at best, and that’s fascinating because why would they care? why would standard labels matter to souls as ancient as theirs? it’s just another flesh they adorn, it’s just another pain they’ll carry and shape and hate. idk! i just think forcing titles on it all is rather boring in nature, and actively hinders the genuine relationships there, in an attempt to have a rulebook of sorts to follow. i also just loathe how the found family trope is constantly turned into a literal family, when it was made to spit in the face of a nuclear family structure. but that’s just me <3
#my posts.#if you believe in the reincarnation theory than HOW can you only view the relationships through a family lense#in two out of three of the timelines we see — they are not family!! not all of them anyway.#they put on different titles but their bonds remain the same.#all the masks in the world cant change their instinctive feelings for each other. good AND bad!#there is a lot of ‘you cannot hide from yourself’ in lh and i do think that’s important#they are always themselves. no matter what time period they’re from or how they’re raised or how different they now are. etc#so viewing things as like ‘oh they’re father/son’ doesnt do much for me#joseph and abraham start out as equals and close friends despite their age difference. and you see that friendship between john and andrew!#at least more than a typical parent-child dynamic#daniel and taylor are lovers and it’s heavily implied their feelings for each other have always been intense and more romantic in nature#despite their original label as siblings#so on so forth. john and angela being married in past lives is sweet but it never becomes their main reason for caring about each other#angela ( even at the end of things ) still mocks the idea of being married to john and actively doesn’t care for it.#but that doesn’t negate her love for him — romantic and otherwise!#again idk!! little hope has some of the best relationships ive ever seen and i think its because of this aspect#at their core they’re soulmates in horror. which is a better way to view them as opposed to family imo#the group entirely is far from traditional and i love it!!! i love a love and pain that transcends time plot#and lh actively does it so well …#i could say more on this but im a bit hungover and stuff alas ugh#but. idk! in my eyes they are NOT a nuclear family lol. not even the clarkes were one#their characters and relationships are so profound BECAUSE they are stripped of labels in my eyes. they are all an exposed nerve of a thing
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notmoreflippingelves · 1 year ago
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I'm just a girl standing in front of the Elena of Avalor S3 timeline begging for it to make even a little logical sense.
#elena of avalor#honestly the only way it does is if we assume that the various avaloran holidays take place in radically different months#than their real-world counterparts#like if we assume that carnaval matches its real world equivalent#"the magic within' takes place in feb-march#but the very next episode is the final dias de los muertos one#which by real world standards is beginning of november#so you're telling me that after the massive fallout of carnaval; absolutely nothing happened for like 7-10 months(!)#and then pretty much all of the next few important episodes happen b/w Nov and Dec (assuming hannukah is also at its real world time)#so like elena spends an intense period of like 1-2 months being just completely fixated on esteban#(i mean girl; same but come on)#after having spent like nearly a year forgetting he even exists?#and then has her nice little winter holiday break#and forgets about him for a month or two in between#only to just suddenly without much logical reason just become obsessed w/ him and ash again for an ep or two#and then forgets about him again#because the plot demands it#i mean like tbf all the flores cousins read to me as neurodivergent to some degree#so i guess it makes a little sense that she'd fall in and out of hyperfocus and get distracted by other fun things#but like i feel like the situation is a bit more intense/important/demanding than just a regular special interest waxing and waning a bit#i mean the real answer is that at least some of the filler episodes were aired waaaayyy out of order#maybe we're meant to see carnaval as not actual carnaval time? but like a big random party in like july or aug??#so like elena still ignores the plot for way too long but at least its like less than 6 months and not more#and it is making plotting s3 era fic very very hard#since it's very tricky to find the right spot to set things
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majorshatterandhare · 1 year ago
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Apparently my brain really hates when names have A, U, and R in them, because without fail, every time I go to type Arthur my brain wants to spell it “Aurthur” or perhaps “Aurthr” and every time I go to type Marius my brain wants to type “Mauris” or maybe “Maurius” or maybe “Maurias” its unclear because I *usually* notice my mistake by the end because it’s clear to me those ending are wrong. Brain just really wants “AUR” together.
#if you see me misspell those names. that’s why#also im american so i default to pronouncing marius— hang on let me look up some IPA symbols#i pronounce is with this vowel ‘ɑ’ which is the open back unrounded vowel#where as they seem to pronounce it with the ‘e’ symbol which is an english (or at least am english) long a sound.#they say it like the name mary. like ‘marry us’#reasons english needs either more vowel symbols or accent marks#also i am aware the ipa vowels are fucked up but its still the best ive got because even in the same language there are accents and-#dialects and that makes examples hard. i also learned recently that british and australian english has actual long an short vowels.#i knew american english didnt have strut (inverted v) but i didnt know- i mean i kinda did because i had noticed it but like not fully-#understood it. anyway if youve read this far you should go watch dr geoff lindsey on youtube hes great#to be clear we have ‘long’ and ‘short’ vowel sounds in am english. but ‘long’ and ‘short’ are just names. the actual length that we say-#them is apparently basically the same. at least when compared with br and au english.#dr geoff lindsey *just* published a video about this. re: how br and au eng speakers say ‘two o’clock’ and ‘four o’clock’ as significantly-#different lengths. while am english speakers say them the same length. he also touches on a bunch of other interesting stuff#im not gonna fandom tag this i guess#i think its funny though that its arthur and marius since they are both voiced by the same person#oh also i think all IPA symbols should have special names like eng. schwa. and strut. rather than having to be called shit like ‘open back-#unrounded vowel.’ although i do realize that theres a fuck tonne of ipa symbols. i also think each of the names should have the sound it-#represents in it.#im autistic about pronunciation somehow. arent i supposed to be in the… *other* sciences. how did this happen?
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