#its deeper than that
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I don't know about the book, but show Hawk is such a good main character and that is because of how complex and real he is. So it annoys me when people try to act like he's not complex and they try to view him through the most dense lense possible. It's more complicated than just "he's hurt Tim so therefore he's evil and deserves nothing good." You're not supposed to watch this show and walk away with the impression that Hawk is the bad guy. Because Hawk IS NOT the bad guy. That becomes even more obvious if you have read any of the interviews from the cast/creators where they discuss Hawk's character.
Hawk is a man with layers, both good and bad, just like the rest of us and just like the rest of these characters. He's definitely not a saint and YES his tactics aren't kind and they need work, but people need to stop acting like he's not also a victim who is just trying his best to survive and protect not only himself, but the people he loves too (because yes, even if you guys don't think it looks like it, he does the stuff he does to protect others too, not just himself. But that's a post for another day).
You can criticize the WAY in which he goes about protecting himself and others and recognize that it's harsh and mean without completely disregarding WHY he even needs to protect himself to begin with and erase him being a victim too. I highly recommend you guys read some more of Matt's interviews because he has given some wonderful insight into Hawk as a character.
#nuance people#we love it#its our best friend#please stop viewing hawk as some one dimensional asshole#he has layers and complexity to him#i will fight anyone who thinks hes being harsh just because hes an asshole#its deeper than that#fellow travelers#hawkins fuller#hawk fuller
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the magnus protocol episode 3 - putting down roots:
#im so sorry i made this in a haze#i love this episode its a lot deeper than this but i did laugh the entire time i was making this#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp 3
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what fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me (please don’t look at me)
#mouthwashing#art#anya mouthwashing#anya#illustration#artists on tumblr#fanart#mouthwashing fanart#lyrics from ptolomaea by ethel cain#abort that thang anya#i played the funny game#i have many thoughts. number one being i think we need to learn to not fandomify every piece of media#like yes please draw fanart and have fun and stuff#but maybe interact with the characters that are abusers and abuser apologists a little more carefully!#specifically curly. lots of people woobify him when hes an enabler#obviously not a bad person inherently but a lot more nuanced than it seems. i dont really like seeing anya x curly art#he took away her autonomy in the game after she told him abt jimmy. i think they cared about each other but its deeper than surface level#anyway good game. yeah
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A detail I love about Episode 4, is the symbol that appears in the music ball Charles finds and the meaning it has when it comes to his own story.
The relief in the ball, is a lyre, Orpheus' symbol. It was the musical instrument that he received as a gift from the god Apollo, who was considered his father in some versions of the original myth.
Note: In The Sandman Universe, Morpheus and the Muse Calliope are Orpheus' parents.
CHARLES: I found one of those at a maritime museum once. The Case of the Drowned Diver, wasn't it, Edwin? Superstitious sailors would use them to calm the seas.
Orpheus was well known as a talented musician; his music could intrigue people's minds with supernatural ideas and had the power to broaden their thinking to new and unusual theories.
When he joined the expedition of the Argonauts, he saved them from the Sirens' music by playing his own, more powerful and beautiful melodies. Later, it was also his music that allowed Jason to accomplish the purpose of his journey.
It makes sense that sailors used his symbol on an object designed to calm the seas and guarantee their safety while navigating.
When it comes to Charles, in particular, the way he ends up using the music ball (in the absence of a more technical name for that object) is both literal and metaphorical.
On one hand, he uses the music ball to put Angie, a sea monster, to sleep, thereby solving the case of The Lighthouse Leapers. On the other hand, he uses the instrument to save Edwin and himself from The Night Nurse—not just by literally pushing her into Angie's mouth with the ball in her hands, but by causing her to meet Kashina. This meeting prompts her to remember Kashi's words later, when Charles tried to save Edwin from returning to hell by pointing out it was a mistake, and again when he asked her to open a portal to hell so he could bring Edwin back.
In Orpheus' story, when Eurydice died from a snakebite, he charmed the ferryman Charon and Cerberus, the guardians of the River Styx, by playing the lyre and singing. By doing so, he also softened the hearts of Hades and Persephone, which gave him the chance to bring Eurydice back to the world of the living.
It's curious that the lyre symbolizes the power of persuasion for Orpheus, as this is a quality in which Charles takes great pride (he is indeed very convincing). Still, I hope that's where the coincidences end.
That's all for now. To everyone who knows about Orpheus' myth and the different versions of his story, I apologize for not quoting specific authors here.
#The parallels between Charles and Orpheus run deeper than this when talking about the myth and its retellings#but one thing I find curious is the arc of Orpheus and Dionysius and that you can compare it to the influence of Desire in Charles' actions#PD: thanks to the one (1) person who told me I was making sense when I tell them about this 🩷#charles rowland#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#dead boy detectives meta#dbda#dbda meta#paineland#edwin payne#edwin paine#payneland#[s1e4] the case of the lighthouse leapers#notebook entry
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every time someone reduces CAPTAIN !!! elizabeth "lizzie" lafayette down to "a sad lesbian" a fairy dies bc i shoot it with my gun. like you're telling me you were spoon-fed a character that has one of the most realistic and RAW representations of grief and perseverance in the series and all you got from that was "she's sad" ????
is she a constantly happy character? Fuck no! that's acknowledged!! but to take EVERYTHING that she is, which has positive and negative aspects THAT ARE BOTH SHOWN, to take the fact that she is THE DRIVING FORCE OF THE MAIN BACKGROUND PLOT, and reduce her down to NOTHING but her relationships?? ?what the hell!!!
#saw someone say that lizzie was the most important npc and i cheered and then they tagged on 'bc riptide is abt sad lesbians'#like ok are we ignoring that it's ACTUALLY about living despite everything? are we ignoring that she's fighting an oppressive gvmt?#her sole motivation is NOT ava dude. RAFT is KILLING HER FRIENDS AND HER FAMILY#like you can acknowledge her relationships w ppl. in fact i ENCOURAGE you to do that#because she loves people DEEPLY even though its rare. and that alone says smthn about her.#but she's not waxing poetic about how much she misses ava. id say she's actively ignoring it#my girl is unstable as shit#idk as 1. a lesbian and 2. a person who feels grief intensely#i just. hate how she's reduced to nothing but person b in a ship#BC THE MFS THAT DO THIS HAVE A DEEPER ANALYSIS OF AVA THAN LIZZIE. DAWG AVA AINT EVEN REAL. SHES BEEN DEAD SINCE BEFORE EP 1#sigh. lizzie i love you so much.#jrwi riptide#jrwi#captain lizzie#elizabeth lafayette
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You make one kinda weird post that gets more than 10k notes, and for months, sometimes years afterwards you get the most boring people in the world in your inbox begging for a Slumdog Millionaire style explanation for every single word you used because there's no possible way you could just be a kinda funny person who's says kinda funny things while typing on your phone and not looking at the oncoming traffic
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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ok guys. i have to be so real with you. luke saying annabeth is like a little sister to him was not just added for the tv show he says that in the book ("she would never... i mean, she's like a little sister to me" (page 223))
#personally i have never understood why people think that the scene in last olympian is luke saying he loves annabeth romantically#'did you love me' can mean so many things and also luke saying annabeths his lil sister doesnt necessarily mean annabeth doesnt have a crush#its extremely common for little kids to crush on people older than them#like i wouldnt be surprised if they drop that plotline but to me its always been deeper than 'annabeth has a crush on luke'#am i being a lil pedantic and petty. perhaps#percy jackson#mine#pjo tv#pjo#luke castellan#annabeth chase
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Can we see how the cup Brothers act with Goldie and Smith?
I have spend the past 5 hours throwing together the world's quickest thumbnails regarding the relationships between the main four and the apples :)
#Cuphead#Cuphead: DDWTD#Cuphead: Don't Deal With The Devil#CDDWTD#CDDWTD Cuphead#CDDWTD Mugman#CDDWTD Mac#CDDWTD oc#Cuphead oc#cupsona#CDDWTD Val#CDDWTD Boba T.#CDDWTD Smith#CDDWTD Goldie#fizzles draws#anon#anonymous#this is a LOT so im sorry if its hard to follow#and these are just very basic ideas of the relationships between them#some of them are much deeper than this of course; but it would have taken up more room to write
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i love you stories where the narrative device becomes a theme of its own, i love you magnus archives “who is listening?” tape recorders, i love you interview with the vampire “how does memory warp?” interviews, i love you house of leaves “this film never existed and yet the minotaur hunts me” academic dissertations, i love you i love you i love you—
#the magnus archives#interview with the vampire#house of leaves#a story’s medium not as representational but inherently and monstrously transformative#everything is a lens is a lens is a lens but some warp deeper than others#when the weft and weave of the story becomes its own character and that character is the villain#horror#analysis
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Where Does This Path of Thorns Lead To? Event Story Summary
TL;DR: After watching Mafuyu begin to move forward, Mizuki resolves to finally tell the others their secret. Still, they're incredibly nervous to do so, and struggle to actually send a message to Ena.
The Kamikou Cultural Festival is soon approaching. After realizing Ena will be attending this year, Mizuki decides to tell her then. MEIKO and KAITO both notice hesitation and anxiety within them, though. KAITO wants to force them to do something, but MEIKO begins to argue with him. The two end up visiting Mizuki together- KAITO to say that Mizuki needs to make a choice, and MEIKO that she'll always be watching over them no matter what happens.
Mizuki runs into Rui after they finish setting up for the festival the next day. Rui can tell something is bothering them, so the two chat. Mizuki reveals that they want to tell the others, but they're scared things will change if they do. They don't want to lose what they currently have. Rui sympathizes with them, and though he can't do much to help, wishes for Mizuki's happiness. With the courage from MEIKO, KAITO, and Rui, Mizuki tells Ena she wants to talk about their secret after the festival.
Mafuyu and Kanade join Ena and Mizuki for the daytime festival. They visit many of the stalls, including the escape room Mizuki and Toya created. During the escape room, they try solving the final puzzle by thinking about where Mizuki would have hidden the key. Though they ultimately failed, Mizuki was impressed and touched. The spot they chose was where they had initially hidden the key- Toya made the last minute change.
Mafuyu and Kanade go home after the festival, so Ena and Mizuki go up to the rooftop. On the way, though, a classmate asks for Mizuki's help with something, so Ena decides to meet them up there. Two of Mizuki's bullies end up going up to the roof, too, recognizing Ena as Mizuki's friend. They ask her if she's "actually a boy", too. Their comments lead Ena to realize Mizuki's secret is that they are transgender. They turn to find a terrified Mizuki staring in horror. Mizuki runs away.
Ena chases after Mizuki. When she catches them, though, she's at a loss for words. Mizuki apologizes for not being able to say anything. They know Ena and the others would accept them, and that they'd try and make it so nothing would change, but they can't bring themself to accept that kindness. Mizuki apologizes again for not being able to say it and runs away. Ena cries out in self-frustration for not being able to say anything back.
Fan translation (Puroeng) / Song (Ghost Flower) 2DMV
Chapter 1: After Mafuyu was finally able to tell her father her true feelings, Mizuki resolves to move forward themself and finally tell their secret. With shaking hands, they go to message Ena, but flashbacks of others calling them "weird" and "doing it for attention" make them freeze. Mizuki knows the others won't reject them, but still can't send the message.
A few days later, Nightcord all meet in the SEKAI to discuss the current demo. They end up talking about the upcoming Kamikou Cultural Festival. Ena's class is going to do a squid grill (though she's unsure if she'll actually go or not), and Mizuki's class an escape room. KAITO and MEIKO notice something change in Mizuki when they realize Ena could be coming to the festival. Mizuki's scared Ena will hear rumors about them, but decides, no matter what, they'll tell Ena during the cultural festival.
Chapter 2: MEIKO realizes Mizuki might be about to share their secret and move forward. KAITO approaches and demands information on Mizuki. He wants Mizuki to be okay because Mizuku can help Mafuyu. MEIKO tells him about Mizuki wanting to stop running away, but refuses to tell what the secret may be. The two fight about whether or not to interfere, and KAITO storms off.
KAITO goes to talk to Mizuki, but is interrupted by MEIKO. KAITO ends up telling Mizuki to stop hesitating and make a choice for survival. MEIKO promises to keep watching over Mizuki, no matter what happens.
Chapter 3: It's the day before the cultural festival, and Mizuki still hasn't been able to send the message. They had been helping Toya create the puzzle challenge, so the two finished setting it all up. Mizuki is clearly nervous about telling Ena, but tries to hide it.
Rui ends up running into Mizuki in the hall. He sees through their facade and asks to talk. Mizuki reveals their decision to tell the others the truth, but they're scared. They know the others will accept them for who they are, but their relationship will still most likely change. They don't want the others to think any differently of them, even if it's well-intentioned. Rui sympathizes with their fear of change; though he can't help alleviate it, he wishes for their happiness.
Mizuki thinks of KAITO, MEIKO, and Rui's support. They get a message from Ena saying she'd decided to attend the festival tomorrow. Mizuki finally asks if they can talk, tomorrow after the festival.
Chapter 4: Mizuki greets Kanade and Mafuyu at the school gate. Ena runs over from her class's stall, having just finished up her shift. Ena hates the T-shirt she has to wear. Kanade tries to cheer her up, which flusters her. The group decides to wander around and see the stalls. Ena notices that Mizuki seems off, but resolves to wait.
An, Akito, and Nene's class put on a photo booth, and Rui and Tsukasa's put on a play about reaching the moon. They decide to visit Mizuki's class next.
Chapter 5: Mizuki is nervous about what might happen with whatever classmate is on reception, but it ends up just being Toya. Mizuki acts as the guide for the escape room, since they helped create the puzzle. Kanade, Mafuyu, and Ena breeze through most of the puzzle.
They only have a few minutes to find the key with the last clue, so rather than actually solve the riddle, they try and think of where Mizuki would hide the key. Rather than something simple like under a desk, they check something surprising, like the pile of stuffed animals. One has a zipper on its back. They use the remaining time to open the zipper, but it ends up being a decoy. Mizuki reveals the true key was hidden in a stuffed animal hanging on the ceiling. (Still, they're shocked. That was the original place they were going to hide it- Toya was the one to make the last minute change.) They're happy, to be known so well.
Chapter 6: After the festival, Kanade and Mafuyu head home. Before they leave, Mizuki asks to tell them something later. Mizuki then asks Ena if they can go up to the rooftop to talk (even though they're so anxious it makes them nauseous). Ena chats about music video ideas to help calm down Mizuki, something they greatly appreciate.
Suddenly, a classmate runs up to Mizuki, asking for help. Apparently, another student had gotten hurt, but they need help finding the school nurse. Ena offers to meet Mizuki on the roof when they're done.
Chapter 7: Two students end up walking up to the rooftop while Ena waits. They recognize her as Mizuki's friend and ask if she's "also a guy". Ena doesn't know what they mean. The guy apologizes, knowing Ena's "a normal girl". Ena presses, and the two realize Ena doesn't know "his" secret. Ena realizes that Mizuki is transgender. She turns to find Mizuki staring at her, terrified.
Chapter 8: Flashbacks of Mizuki's memories with Nightcord flash by the screen. They can't say anything and sprint away. Ena chases after them.
When Ena finally catches up, she's at a loss for words. Through shaking breaths, Mizuki apologizes for not being able to say anything sooner. They know Ena was just surprised, not hurt, but can't find it in themself to accept it. They know they'll try and make it so nothing will change, and they'll all accept them for who they are and keep making videos. They know it's from all their kindness, and they want to accept it so badly, but they can't help but hate it.
Ena tries to reassure Mizuki, but she still can't find the words. Mizuki turns their back to her, apologizes for not being able to face her, and runs away. Ena starts crying.
The chapter ends with a monologue from Mizuki. "You reap what you sow, huh? Running, and running, always running away. I had hoped that someone would just say it for me. Guess it turned out just as I hoped. Ah... I want to disappear."
After reading the final chapter of this event, Mizuki's menu lines and live2D model are changed to a hollow, lightless version of themself, similar to Mafuyu when not masking. They also will only appear in the Empty SEKAI for area conversations, if at all.
#project sekai#(this ones getting main tagged guys)#akiyama mizuki#event story#yoisaki kanade#asahina mafuyu#shinonome ena#n25 meiko#n25 kaito#aoyagi toya#tenma tsukasa#kamishiro rui#tw transphobia#ough. what a doozy of an event. ough#it's so real. its. its so real. mizuki's fears are so real.#i was scared it would be a “they wont accept me” but its so much deeper than that. it's the inevitable change. its inevitable#anyways WATCH THIS EVENT. like WATCH IT. the voice actors did such an incredible job.#also there's no video for chapters 5-6 right now but they're not really that important and there's human translations for em so. eh
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may i have the 10 wholly unasked for paragraphs of semen retention belief lore please 🙏
Ok
MEDICAL MODEL:
The philosophical core of Wardi medical model revolves around the universe’s primal dualism- it exists in between the extremes of Sea (cold wet dark female) and Sky (hot dry bright male). These forces are sterile and stagnant when separate, God emerged at their interacting boundaries as their synthesis, capable of creation. Life itself required God’s sacrifice of Its living spirit and the shedding of Its blood, which rendered sterile earth fertile and inhabitable and kicked of the perpetual death-rebirth flow of living spirit that maintains all life. The body is a reflection of this primordial state- it is maintained by the flow of living spirit (contained in the blood), and its core matter is an interactive mixture of primordial Hot Sky and Cold Sea, Warm in balance, with male and female physically differentiated by the presence of primordial extremes- the male has Hot testes, the female has Cold womb, the interaction of these extremes allow for creation.
(I promise this will have to do with semen retention eventually.)
Blood is understood as carrying the body’s living spirit, the animating force whose proper flow maintains life and health by balancing the body’s primordial extremes. Semen is a type of blood, given Hot nature by its isolation in the testes, and also carries the living spirit. It functions as the active seed of the living spirit. It is the Hot element planted in the Cold of the womb, the mingling of these forces allow for creation, and insemination with living spirit creates a living body that can host an immortal soul. (Wardi belief describes two souls- a living spirit that animates and maintains the body and an immortal soul that houses the mind).
Male gender designation revolves almost entirely around the testes, the Hot extreme of the body where semen is (assumed to be) produced and stored. In addition to its procreative functions, the testes are an organ whose function is to masculinize and strengthen the rest of the body. Each organ requires the proper flow of healthy blood/living spirit to function properly, and thus loss of this living spirit must be performed with great care- bloodletting in offering is highly controlled, bloodletting in medicine is carefully selected and done in accordance with balancing procedure. Since testes are regulated specifically by the living spirit in semen, semen should not be discharged with reckless abandon.
SOCIAL SEXUAL NORMS:
Cultural ideals for sexual behavior revolve around moderation and self-restraint. Sexuality itself is not demonized. There is nothing wrong with nonprocreative/nonmaritial sex in of itself (unless it is adultery on the part of a woman (male adultery is ostensibly bad too but is rarely treated as gravely), or a girl losing virginity prior to marriage, or it violates a litany of gender-sexual norms), but sexual RESTRAINT is an expectation.
Having an active but controlled libido is idealized, particularly in men. A man who is an absolute paragon of ideal masculinity has a libido, but is not ruled by it. He does not masturbate and rather seeks a partner for sexual release. He usually has a wife for this, and otherwise is capable of the patience and restraint to attain a quality sexual partner rather than finding the easiest release out of desperation. His partners are suitable to proper male interest, being good looking women or pretty beardless youths (going for 'unseemly' women or older, masculine men (so long as one performs the penetrative role) is not wholly unacceptable but suggests desperation and a weak control of libido).
This is an IDEAL and not strictly enforced- very few people will think you’re a weak failure of a man for jerking off sometimes or bragging about fucking some random tail, and hiring sex workers is entirely normalized (and will only be condemned if deemed notably ‘excessive’ and disruptive to a normal patriarchal role, or truly symptomatic of being unable to get laid without paying for it). Rather, if someone is already identified as a weak or effeminate man, ‘excessive libido’ may be cited as a cause or symptom, or rhetoric to criticize them.
THE SEMEN RETENTION:
Encouragement of semen retention/regulation stems out of both of these forces. Proper masculine social/sexual behavior encourages a limitation to discharge of semen, and medical thought deems it necessary for physical masculinization. A man who does not 'excessively' lose semen via an uncontrolled libido is thought to be physically more masculine- it is assumed to directly make the testes larger since they are Storing More Cum, but also to deepen the voice, assist in the growth and maintenance of the beard, and generally enhance strength, mental acuity, and vitality. Men are regarded as innately physically and mentally stronger than women, with the medical model slapped on as one of the means of explaining patriarchal norms (in addition to spiritual concerns of pollution and metaphysical vulnerability). Regulating semen is one of many behaviors that allows a man to stay this way.
This is also an element in why 'effeminacy' in men is linked to hypersexualization- there is an assumption that men who are physically or behaviorally non-masculine have exaggerated, uncontrolled libidos. Effeminancy or ‘softness’ in men is a failure to perform a wide set of behaviors and not strictly an accusation of receiving penetrative sex, but this is often an element- a man who receives is presumed so desperate and out of control of his libido that he will submit to debasement and shame for fulfillment (an un-masculine man who cannot be a penetrative partner could at least retain his dignity by having enough self-control to abstain entirely).
Some scholars, high ranking warriors, and politicians will (at least claim to) be functionally celibate and refrain from all discharge of semen in order to function at peak performance. This total abstinence is rare and NOT culturally mandated, and is often looked on with a little snide derision as a tryhard performance. More commonly, men will attempt to live a life with a controlled libido, and may temporarily abstain from sexual activity leading up to situations that require physical and mental acuity (combat, debate, sport, etc).
Of most concern to the average day to day person is accidental loss through nocturnal emission. While this is harmless every once in a while, it is cause for concern if it occurs frequently- your body is discharging part of its living spirit completely outside of your control, you are directly weakened by this and you don’t want this happening on a regular basis. Recurrent, frequent episodes may indicate polluted blood, or outright inhabitation by evil spirits.
The only level on which semen retention tends to be actively, directly enforced is with children. Teenage boys are typically discouraged from masturbating (especially during the early stages of puberty)- retention of semen masculinizes the body, therefore will contribute to a healthy and normative puberty and should be preserved at this vulnerable time. It is considered normal to chastise and punish a pubescent boy for masturbation. This is seen as preventing him from harming his health, and to teach him to regulate desire and exercise self control, one of many facets of shaping a boy into a proper man during this critical time. This norm does not contribute to children developing lingering psychological issues AT ALL.
Wardi traditional medicine is a holistic methodology of spiritual/physical treatment, using a base system of items (foods, animal parts, herbs, metals, stones) with Hot or Cold properties and individual Essences to manage imbalances in the body and it's blood/spirit flow and dispel evil spirits. This medical system (and related subdivisions of folk medicine) is commonly used to treat nocturnal emissions, and may also be used to lower libido and/or discourage teenage masturbation. These are largely medicines with Cold properties and noted anaphrodisiac Essence. Eels are a big one- given that eels, obviously, are sexless and emerge from river mud, their bodies are anaphrodisiacs and consumption of eel meat/eel based tinctures can lower libido (this should be done with caution, as it also lowers fertility in humans and animals). Medicines may be directly applied to the penis, this does not interfere with the intended function of the testes but subdues excess lust. Phallic amulets are worn regardless of gender and have holistic nonsexual protective properties, but may also help defend against nocturnal emission. Other medicines are worn in sachets that are tied around the hips during sleep, often weighted with lead. In very severe cases (mostly associated with other dysfunction), the penis or testes may be infected with polluted blood and should be bled.
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Tangent: If the Wardi community had reddit you would occasionally see threads like "DAE eat their semen after masturbating so you don't actually lose any?" and most responses would be "no wtf" but there would be a decent number of people going "omg yes I thought I was the only one" "I mean that's kind of weird but I guess it makes sense if you really think about it" and then one very angry commenter ranting about how, No, eating your semen DOES NOT suffice as mitigation of the loss, this is why so many boys are SOFT AND EFFEMINATE these days, the men of old NEVER jacked off and NEVER ate their own cum and had MUCH FULLER BEARDS AND LARGER TESTICLES.
#I also promise I did not intentionally milk this into 10(+) paragraphs I just like to be thorough . Like you need to know how cosmological#philosophy filters down into common practices of semen retention#It should also be noted that in general when I describe these deeper philosophical models it should not be interpreted as things#that Every Member Of The Population Is Routinely Thinking About#The primordial SEA/SKY dualism has philosophical significance and directly informs the medical traditions and practices of some#priesthoods but does not factor directly and explicitly into everyday practice.#Most people's religious practice is based around active interaction with God and Its Faces (and for that matter much of the public#experiences this religion more like a pantheon than a singular monotheistic god with different aspects)#The everyday person is thinking of semen regulation as 'it keeps you healthy and masculine' and not 'it ensures flow of living spirit#through the Hot masculine element of the body and improves the health of this system'- they'll be aware of the core concepts#like blood/semen as a carrier of living spirit but not necessarily thinking about it in THIS level of detail#imperial wardin
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insane how people act like charles is ‘the jealous one’ like edwin didnt spend the whole first episode screaming crying throwing up every time charles looked at crystal and not him
#obv its deeper than that#like after 30 years of almost always taking edwins side on everything#he suddenly leaves WITH SOME RANDOM GIRL while saying he has a poor attitude and hes like? do i? yeah bc the living suck right? right?#and he decides to stay annoyed when they come back bc he LEFT him ugh. for a GIRL. like they’re actually still teens in school#so he really really hopes this is a passing fancy. like a pet or something. a wounded bird that we CANNOT KEEP#and when charles points out that it is in fact jealousy (which by charles time is not at all couple exclusive) it literally takes him aback.#bro said ‘jealous?’ so breathlessly like cmon. but b4 he could let that sink in crystal wakes up so he lets it go#probably had a whole internal convo where he reconciled being able to be friend-jealous and then kicked it up. like really up#‘maybe its your outfit’ and ‘also we are punishing you’ and ‘are you ready to talk to her shoes’#‘you spoke to a demon in this friendly malt shop’ and ‘oh you love this dont you’ and ‘saved you one time and now you wont leave either’#like yes he IS jealous and yes he WILL make it everyone’s problem on purpose#do i even have to pull out ‘of course you fell for a living girl’ (looks at him through his lashes) help him#90 percent of these are from the FIRST EPISODE okay#episode 1 edwin is THE cattiest bitch so it tracks that the cat king wants him#point is they are both insanely jealous ok#dbda#dead boy detectives#payneland#paineland#bumblysdumbly
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youtube
FUCK THEM UPPPPPPP TILL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD
The visuals of Till's splash art (in my humble opinion, the best one so far) is STUNNING. AND very interesting.
For Till specifically to cover All-In is an interesting message to give off, All-In is a song about freedom. A type of freedom that allows you to live confidently and freely, creating whatever type of world you want, the stage is yours, so make what you want of it. living confidently in YOUR OWN SKIN. And living freely "cause you only got one life to live"
Freedom is something Till fights for relentlessly, and confidence is a bravado, as by far the most uncontrolled and tested person in the cast, he still fights for his boundaries and self-expression even when he's punished, molded into something he's not, or beaten into obedience, tested far past the limit; he never loses his bite. A wild dog can never be tamed.
This is the cover that follows what becomes of Till after round 6, and still, in Till's all-in, he sounds so raw, pained, energized, and passionate desperation is evident. It's a contrast from HyunA's celebratory cheers and upbeat mood because Till isn't celebrating the idea of freedom; he's angrily proving to everyone, especially the aliens, that he isn't backing down yet and he'll still keep fighting and that he can fight for his own freedom.
Till's cover of All-in is truly the most powerful depiction of Till's fighting spirit, after everything he's gone through, the pain, the grief. It's all in his voice and the way he sings he's pained the entire time he sings and he's aggressive because the fire of his spirit is lit once again. He's going "all-in" so to speak and expressing himself.
The tape around his neck--
It's a contrast to HyunA who doesn't mind showing her brand, even proudly showing it off as a form of reclaiming her individualism.
Till is different. Because being reminded that he is and was once a pet is not something he would want to remember about himself, he will always bitterly try to distance himself from that fact in any way he can, HyunA feels free from the system when she can own it, but when Till sees his branding, he'll still always feel that collar. It's a testament to his self-deprecation, as long as the evidence of his past is present, and he still feels all the pain the aliens inflicted on him, It'd be presumptuous to think he'd ever feel like he can relate and fit in with the other "fools" who are so free.
It'd be presumptuous to think he'd ever feel free. That's what the aliens wanted, right?
Another interesting part of this is that the name 'All-in" is actually a real-life poker reference, to go "all-in" in poker is to voluntarily bet all of your remaining chips, there is nothing else you can do but hope for the best after that point (and hope you win).
When HyunA sings All-in, she deceives you into thinking she has the upper hand or good hand, and that she will win. When Till sings it, he's giving it all away recklessly, he's showing all he has. Basically, him saying fuck it. he doesn't know if he'll win or not but says, "Let's go all-in and risk it all anyways" Even if internally he knows that this is stupid and risky, this is his foolish rebellion.
At this point he has nothing to lose and nothing to gain, it's his final stand as he lets his heart out not for the crowd, but for the family he lost, himself, a form of self-expression. He will be so nervous, so aggrieved but it's the freest he will ever feel on that stage.
The color symbolism also drives me CRAZY.
For his other two splash art, he's been represented with a color close enough to teal. In both songs, he's open when he sings and fully serene. Teal is a generally calming color, and it's not too evocative. It's more emotional (and has it's own reservations)
And then, we have green, which is a general symbol of growth, new beginnings, and freshness. After all, Till has been through all-in is a sign of his growth. And a new era of his life, or in other words a sudden tonal shift from his depressive state in round 6.
And for my favorite (it's not.) part! the head shot, (interesting how his has nearly the biggest impact out of them all.)
A bit of a theory.
It's a bit similar to one particular art of him, he has a little shape that's almost akin to impact from a gunshot near the same area.
So, I think this is tell-tale symbolism for a future injury, but the gun portrayed is a bubble gun. I believe it is symbolism for the wound being non-fatal, so even if Till loses and gets shot, he'll survive, fundamentally changed. and will probably join the rebellion, too.
/side note
The heartbeats in Till's version of all-in are faster and louder than HyunA's version, similar to CURE.
#trust me im qmeng#till all-in cover got me tweaking out big time do you UNDERSTAND how long i waited for this#ever since the teaser#GUHHH#IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE#i am never sleeping again fuck this#am i crazy about till alien stage no of course not#haahahah#if this sounds like a big rant i just want till to live bear with me WAIT NO COME BACK#im going so crazy about this its not even funny its so serious#this shit is so good though#the growls#and everything#urgh#till alien stage#alien stage#alien stage till#alnst#alnst till#i just really like how this song isnt all that much lika hyunA's in terms of tone#it has the same beat but when you look deeper into it. this is more dark than youd expect#to me it's not a cheerful take on All-IN it's a darker one through the perspective of someone on their final rope aggressively proving he's#not broken#this is also him grieving#everything about this scares me but i have a lot of faith in him.#(praise akugetsu I couldn't thank you enough)#alien stage round 6#alien stage round 7#alien stage analysis
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