#its crazy im like. not going full out being open with her after all the shit shes put me through

[caruliaa]

this is my joe alwyn and taylor swift breakup <- joking but its smth thats genuinely hugely big and awful for me i feel

[lilblackcheezits]

fresh out of jail - E.Jaeger

your worst fear had came true, Eren had got caught dealing weed. He got three years in prison, three fucking year in jail, three year u had to be away from your boyfriend. It completely crushed you, how were going to be alone for 3 years?

Now Eren on the other hand was heartbroken, he missed his baby so fucking much it hurt, and it was all his fault, not being careful of what he was doing. He thought u we’re going to leave him, he didn’t think you would wait on him, but you loved Eren so much you would wait, cause he was worth waiting for.

1 year later

Eren was on his best behavior, hoping they would let him out early, and spoiler alert he gets out next week. He hasn’t told you about his release but he’s dying to see you, to hold you, to kiss those sweet lips of yours, do all those things he hasn’t done in a year. Him being in jail has been doing his biceps wonders, And you started going to the gym with all the free time you had, and gurlllll that ass was getting bigger(if that was even possible🤭) you look good if you do say so yourself.

That last week in jail never felt to longer, Eren just wanted to be home with you. Finally Monday was here and Connie came to pick Eren up, he just couldn’t wait to surprise you. The whole 30 minute drive to y’all’s house, Eren was just thinking about u. The effect you had on that man was crazy.

You were at home sitting on the couch, a throw blanket one your fresh showered body that smelt like coco butter, u had vaseline on ur lashes, chapstick on ur plump lips, the windows were cracked so the fresh air could flow through the house. Some romance movie was playing on the tv while you we scrolling through insta.

Finally Connie pulled into the driveway, they said there goodbyes and Eren started walking to unlock the front door as Connie pulled away. You we so deep in your phone you didn’t even hear the door open, Eren walked in taking his shoes off. He heard the tv so he walks towards the noise and he see you scroll through ur phone, man you looked like the prettiest thing on the earth.

“mama…” he says almost a whisper, you look up at him and your jaw drops “eren..” you stand up and he runs to hug you, “Eren oh my god- I’ve missed u so fuckin much” you say into his neck. “how are u here I thought u had 2 more years-hmm” he cuts you off with a kiss he’s been waiting so long to do again, and let me tell u this kiss was full of passion and lust, you both pull away because ur out of breath and that when you get a good look of Eren, and DAMN that’s man was ripped. The way his biceps were busting out of his shirt made u want to bust.

Eren noticed u taking a good look at him, and he liked it, he knew he got bigger and he just couldn’t wait to show u. “u look good ren” u say as u look up at him, just for him to by staring right down at u, giving you that smile he knows u love so much, “yea? how good?”

Now to be honest you don’t know how you got here.

“Fuckkkk ma” he smacks her ass “throw that shit on me” he groans. “yesyesyes don’t stop” u drag your words “u got so much fuckin tighter” he say throwing his head back “fuckkkk” he hissed

He’s just pounding into you and he doesn’t care, he misses you and this pussy too much to care. “you like that mama? u like when fuck you hard like this?”

your brain was to foggy to comprehend what he was saying so u we’re just nodding at everything he was saying

he pulled ur hair back so you can look at him in his eyes “i asked you something” “yes i- I love it when you fuck me like this” your honestly just babbling

“I- hngh i missed u s’much ren” “I missed u so much more baby i promise u i will never leave u again, i want to spend the rest of my life with you baby- fuck”

“me toooo ughhb ren imcummig imcumming holy fuckk im cummingg”

“yeah? make a mess on this dick cmon”

“yesyesyes oh my godd” ur practically screaming at this point its been so long since you had sex

Eren cums right after you still fucking his cum into you “ren m’sensitive” you say tiredly trying to push him away

he just smiles at the sight in front of him, his beautiful girlfriend looking all fucked out all because of him

he pulls out and gets up to go grab a warm rag and a blanket

When he gets back he sees y/n passed out on the couch, he wipes her up and puts the blanket over her sleeping body, then goes upstairs to change his clothes

He comes back downstairs to lay on the couch with her and eventually ends up falling asleep too

Eren couldn’t be more happier with being back home with his little mama

authors note!

im sorry if there misspelled words this is my first time writing something like this so i hope yall like it! - vaeh💗

[kaeyachi]

I finished the 5.1 archon quest...

first off, its a long one, and you will be actively moving for over 2 hours (and I do mean active) so you might need to time yourselves before starting Natlan AQ4.

not gonna lie, i dont think i have the emotional capability to function much after finishing it. the fact that for 2 entire hours of the AQ 4, I was full on sobbing...

heavy spoilers for genshin 5.1 below:

himeko death flags are still here

seeing a monster and death counter was haunting. Both of those rising as i proceed was haunting

being given a choice where to go and knowing you not going to the other location could mean that group's death was also haunting

arriving too late to several locations and seeing all of those dead bodies scattered was haunting

chuychu's death was so damn painful, and chasca's reaction hurt too (im thinking of Kaeya and Diluc in that position so I hurt myself more

finding out vichama died was a slap to the face but hey, at least he and his friend are together again

the cutscenes were cool but my tears made them hard to see so i might need to watch them on youtube later

hearing a baby saurians cries as the lone survivor... hnghh...

but there are some good too

the will to fight, the kindness and compassion from everyone. it really motivated me to go crazy despite fighting the abyss for OVER AN HOUR

finally i have 1 more confirmation and that is the fact that Mavuika is a member of the Scions of the Canopy, but what surprised me is finding out Burkina is her childhood best friend (i guess that's where the Kinich favoritism came from)

Capitano is still open to being Anfortas Alberich, Perinheri, or any other member of the sinners list of Khaenri'ah

wait i got reminded, but yes mavuika punched the false sky so hard she opened us all up to HSR lmao

more edit coz some thoughts popped up

i genuinely figured that Chasca was our last chosen one coz she was our only option from the flower-feather clan, but the fact that it took the death of chuychu...AFTER THEY GAVE US A MINI PORTION WITH THEM WORKING TOGETHER?!?!?!?! foooooouuuulll

Paimon's reaction at seeing all the dead bodies... her being left to no other reaction but to gasp...she sounds like she wants to cry...and this is a repeated event of us seeing a group of dead bodies in several locations. Just arriving too late far too many times...yeah it left my heart heavy...

there was a long period of time where kinich is the only one left on the map, so honestly Ajaw asking how tf he survived is so effing real like BRO??? HUH??

for a moment, the death counter reached over 4k and i looked at it in horror until the number went back to 1k+ (which is still horrifying), and i never thanked the ode to resurrection as much as i did until that moment pls

I need a breather. the quest is lore and emotions heavy.

[mikalame]

hiya!!! could you write a really sweet fic (story) about y/n and Bill getting a huge matching tattoo together and Bill being asked about this tattoo on an interview and he just gets really shy etc (could you make the reader female and a singer) please ?

bye :D

"Are you sure you want to do this meine leibe, this is gonna take a couple hours, and will hurt a bit being where it is" Bill asks, eyes searching your face for any sign you may not feel 100% about this, exspechily because its a tattoo that will be on you forever.

"Yes im sure Bill, I've researched and all plus ill ask for some numbing cream, are you okay bill" You ask thinking that the reason he keeps asking you if your okay is becasue he isn't.

"Of course, i cant wait" he says kissing your cheek giving you tight hug and pushing open the tattoo shop's door.

Time skip

"how are you feeling hun, you in any serious pain" Bill asks eyes scanning over you again looking down at you, eyebrows pinched.

"Im fine Billl" you whine playfulling pushing him away giggling.

You two smile at eachother and walk to your car you look at your forearm and the tattoo placed on it, the phantom pain of it comeig back to you but the pride and meaning of it over powers it.

Time skip again

"SO WELCOME..... TOKIO HOTEL!" the interveiwer yells at the camera, the crowd behind it full on fangirls and boys yell in exsitement waving their banners and posters around hoping to catch one of the band members attention.

As the band walks on the stage single file line they wave at the fans, the majority of them smiling wider and yelling louder, while the crazy super fans faint or start yelling not so innocent things (i dont blame them ahaha)

"Hello we are so happy to be on the show with you today" Bill says taking the mircophone from the interviewer so the audiance could hear them clearly.

"Well im glad, so today we have a couple questions to ask you, if thats all right with you all" She says looking over the band and seeing their nodding heads.

"Okay, great sooo the first question is from.... Marie asking if any of you have any big regrets in you career". She cocks an eyebrow then looks at the band, a smile on her face.

"Oh well uhm probably styling my hair with CANS of hairspray, kinda wish i just wore a wig but oh well" Bill says shrugging passing the mircophone along.

"Oh hahaha, Okay next question" She says smile dropping as she reads the next couple of questions out.

"Oooo okay this one is for Bill , aparently you were seen with ___ going into a tattoo parlor, do you care to show us what you got" she asks smirk stretching on her face.

"Oh, uhm no sorry" Bill says shaking his head in disagreement, but the interviwer just keeps on begging.

After a while it really started to get on him nerves, more so when she brought the audiance in on it as well, but bill just kept on saying no, blushing hinding if face.

The tattoo was very important to bill and he didnt feel like it should be made public like this, exspeachily when it had such a deep meaning for bill and ___.

"Oh, well sorry ladys and gentlemen thats all the time we have today, sorry i coldn't make bill show the new tattoo but mabey next time" she say fake smile still prominent on her face.

As the band walks of the stage fareing their good byes bill mutters under his voice.

"There wont be a 'next time'".

They all groan as they sit down in the tour bus, tom cracking his back as well as gustav. "She was real adamant on getting the tattoo shown" Georg laughs opening a bag of chips sitting down across from the boy.

"Yeah she need to learn to take no for an answer, she must be a real treat in bed" tom laughs sarcastically behind the two.

"mmh" bill agrees putting his headphones in listening to a song ___ and him made when he was staying at her house one of the first times they met thinking about calling her when they head off to check up on her.

SORRY GUYS I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT 😭.

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

[moonshynecybin]

what are your favorite aus you’ve ever come up with?

GOOD question i've churned out quite a few and i dont think i've ever lumped em together... uh full disclosure a lot of my fav aus were collabs or asks sent by my lovely mutuals :) they rule and are probably my faves so i'll lead with those

FCO: forced coming out au... she's maina @kingofthering and i's baby. marc and vale caught fucking in an alleyway a few months after the sepang fallout and vale comes forward to fake date marc in order to keep him from losing his ride... very much about the violence of fame and vale sort of using his influence with the media to PROTECT marc rather than harm him. a fun time with lots of fraught fake dating your ex situations. visuals here

same age au: elle @lestelledreams dropped this in my lap because shes a genius ! and two fics on ao3 were written about it which is CRAZY. basic premise is how it sounds: marc marquez is born in 1979 and they spend their early years doing a very codependent little rivalry/first love dance that gets cracked the fuck open right around the time of marc's arm injury. sweet and very y2k and very about them being stupid overly-competitve teens with REALLY different vibes and sort of. only being able to identify with each other i love it a lot

kayaking/whitewater au: niche sport forever i think about her all the time. kind of my own way to excise some personal feelings as a girl who quit doing a death sport as a teen and then kind of continued working in the same industry as said deathsport and who's brother's lack of little danger voice in his head wrt to the sport reads very marc to me. also im tortured because i simply think they would be very good at it. marc let me get you in a half-slice hard boat pspspsps... and tbh they just fit the vibe. need vale to meet an old man kayaker its the fookin same

reporter au: yayyyyy i love mess. this one is more about saw trapping these fools im like hmm what would hurt marc a LOT. oh never being able to ride only being able to interact with the sport from the other side of the proverbial glass. what would hurt vale a LOT. oh being in love with a REPORTER. lots of half chances and repressed anger and being kind of damaged so you blow your relationships the fuck up. also a sepang-esque scenario that dials in on marc's vindictive streak through it all which i enjoy. my wife is a bitch.

teen mom au: marc with a liddle baby. vale being kind of psycho. what more could you want

bridgerton au: their weird older sibling slay and repressed freak ass horny selves. thank you.

proximity au and emotional bond transference: theres a post missing from this tag and i cant find it :( anywayssss if they arent gonna feel empathy towards each other im going to MAKE them as a sort of benevolent god

amnesia au: i think about this one literally all the time. time travel too its like. the fantasy of erasing their past. for BOTH of them. reset button. but the thing is you CANT... and maybe you dont even WANT to.... also a marc saw trap bc SO much has changed for him…

fantasy au: i think marc would look hot in a doublet and the academy guys as a sort of. fail knights of the roundtable is good 2 me. fun exploration of marc and injury in many ways just add some swords and class dynamics

anastasia au: one of the OGs. don bluth animation.....

threesome au: :3333 lets get nasty.. actually theres two :3

[tittysuckersworld]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAASE!!!!! tell me about your huhhhhh fem skk au .... actor dazai.. band chuuya. idk where the post went i think it was you, i beg, on my hands and knees i love them. plzplzplz (agree with ur tags btw me2:(( )

I AMMM THE PERSON WITH AUU THANK YOU FOR ENABLING MEEEEEE- ehem hi hallo i am yes hi sudhsudjs okay ya uhhhhh hm im not sure where to start from where left off- rant got long so under cut is more :>

but pretty much soukoku as an idol group til the photographer/aspireing writer oda somehow gets in a scandle and has his parental rights to his kids taken away. before was shared custody but now is.. not.

at this point dazai was already very ready to quit being an idol. so to try and cover up the oda scandal she leaks some pictures of her kissing some people earlier in her career and some mysterious ginger lady....... she also sets up a bomb under one of the agencys cars to really blow everything over.

chuuya is not happy with this. very not happy with this.

but, now she has the freedom to do whatever she wants with her music. so she gose full pop-punk rock<3<3<3<3 and also this is where stupid animatic make their way into my plan. remember the song black sheep cover by lady in schot pilgram, this is one song chuuya makes when she hits it off on her own. she also gets really popular when she moves to pop punk rock

okay dont actually have much else planned with this- just that 2-3 years later dazai publishes a book and its a crazy best seller. talking about the inner workings of the industry and is working on her next books. mabey publishes another in like a year. i am not fully sure timeline-

the dazai leaving the agensy and car bomb really give off breaking up vibes to chuuya til a hose soaked dazai is in front of her door. not even fake rain just blondie(kunikida) got mad at her plan and desided to try soaking the prick. i dont think they immediately start dating again, but they do at some point. and is secret dating ya.

dazai just shows up to some of chuuyas shows? its a running gag that dazai will somehow get on stage and fuck with chuuya. or mess with the lights. or just anything to make a lil ruckus. the media has no clue how dazai keeps ending up at them at the right place and right time.

so! one time 4-5-6 years after dazai leaves the company and a few years of them dating again, dazai sorta.. stops coming to the shows for a little? like seems to be super busy with new book or smth.

animatic timee

then on anniversary chuuya desides to sing one of her old songs. and dazai is sitting in the croud. and is so so much. at the end the light moves over to dazai in the croud as she walks tword the stage. then the lights shut off when shes on the stage. just those two, heres their dialog have thought up, will be little janky not best but im trying. pls change if want.

Ch: "oh so right here-"

D: "Chuuya Nakahara. that first day i met you. that was begrudgingly one of the best days of my life. you were one of the best things in my life. you are one of the best things in my sorry life."

*the sprinklers to the concert all go off*

Ch: "DAZAI?!!?!"

D:"Remember that first arcade date? it was raining so hard we got instantly soaked. got sick for a week with our managers yelling at us. i hated it, but i hated it with you."

D:"or how we snuck out durring that one stop in paris? i was able to get that shitty corner store wine and a day old baguette and you smiled so wide. it was like the sun opened up in front of me."

D:"Mabey instead you could think of that one time, after that accident at that one fan meet. where you slowly unwound and rewound my bandages. kissing each little thing. had to drag you off before you tryed kissing every molecule of my arms."

Ch, wispering: "Osamu.."

D:"Chuuya Nakahara. i am sick of telling lies to the world. im sick of hiding how my eyes can light up hearing your snorts. im sick of hiding the butterflys in my stomach whenever we brush hands on the sidewalk. im sick of not being able to say and shout to the world im yours. so today, no more hiding."

by this point any audience people that stayed are using the flash on their cameras to take pictures, and dazai had bent down to one knee.

D:"Insted, how about we be Chuuya Nakahara-Dazai and Osamu Dazai-Nakahara? from today to death do us part, will you marry me?"

and yada yada ruegfuejhrbe okay yup not sure thats any good- half tempted to have chuuya take the knee here but i think she dose her own cute more private proposal for her engagement back. but yee thats all i got planned!! thank you so much for enabling me and pls pls pls if wanna talk more about this me dms are so so so so open and so is my ask box please begging

[eternalera]

Some problems i had with the finale in hazbin hotel

now before i start i just wanna say that i absolutely love and adore this show with all of my heart but with that being said i can still recognize its flaws and god does it have some

🌟

lets get one of the most obvious things out of the way first. charlie did literally nothing. she hit adam once or twice and he beat the shti out of her which was just a dumb excuse to have lucifer show up nad beat the shit out of him.

but more on that later. charlie is the main character and she only gets the motivation to go full 'god mode' when sir pentious dies? even then she didnt do anything. dazzle ends up dying but oh well its fine (or razzle i cant remember). she stabs adam once and even then he beats her up more than anything. hes powerful yes but charlie couldve put up more of a fight

she even has a song in episode 7 about taking charge but honestly... she doesnt really do that. actually sir pentious had a better arc than her and we hardly see him throughout the entire show

🌟

sir pentious' death was fine we see him gearing up and it was kinda leading onto the big scene where he would take on adam but...

bro got obliterated in less than like a second and then adam made a joke off of it. tbh at this moment i started laughing so hard because goddamn was it hilarious but then you have charlie and the hotel mourning it like not even five seconds after- like half a second after the joke.

the tonal whiplash of that scene was just... ugh-

like i didnt care about it being serious because guess what? im already laughing at the joke like everything that i cared for about him just thrown into the gutter because guess what? haha funny :)

but for that to be what makes charlie go into her full form still makes me mad- ugh

🌟

adams death was fine. he was killed by nifty so like- okay i guess. honestly i didnt really care for it. it was funny but then ONCE AGAIN you have lute cry over him and actually i cared more for that than nifty-

but its just like- nifty?

dont get me wrong its funny asf but... nifty? they treated both of what was meant to be serious deaths in this show as a goddamn joke and expect me to not call them out on it? like okay nifty shes a funny character but her killing adam just made me go though 3 different stages in the span of like- five seconds

bro just got stabbed wait what-

omg its nifty thats kinda funny

actually i dont really care for nifty so wtf-

like huh?

the death just kinda felt like... nothing to me. like i get thats its funny misogynistic asshole gets stabbed by crazy straight small bug woman. but i didnt really care for it. nfitys fine but i dont care about her enough for me to laugh out loud at this moment

🌟

lucifer's entrance was horrible. bro can open portals, he knew what they were doing, he knew what was coming yet he comes in like- halfway through the fight only when charlie's getting hurt

all im sayin is that if he was in it at the start the final episode wouldve been like half the amount of time it actually was...

oh yeah and pentious would be alive, but no they needed him to die to show that the hotel works so why not just hold him off.

im sorry but lucifer stole all of charlies glamour in this scene like charlie was getting choked after hitting adam once and then boom. daddy to the rescue ig

like are you kidding me? at least make it fucking vaggie or smth. not lucifer and why was he late? we've pretty much established that man doesnt do shit so like-

its fucking pointless it a quick and pretty damn cheesy ending. if he wasnt there at the start we dont need him at the end. or at least have him arrive earlier not at a convenient ass time

🌟

going back to the fact that NOT A SINGLE DEATH WAS TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

i know that sir pentious was coming back so its fine to make it a joke but like adam? bro thats your main villain right there. a show is only as good as its villain and honestly his death just wasnt satisfying (as i mentioned before)

like seriously wtf?

🌟

this all being said though i really enjoyed this show with my whole heart and i do love it and some of the things that it did. the fact that this show even got out is a goddamn miracle <3

[psycheofaphaggot]

we’re opening the floodgates people because the only thing i think about ever, and what i WILL shout from the top of every rooftop i come across

DINA IS THE PERFECT WOMAN.

i don’t care. i don’t care what anyone else says. i don’t care if your opinion is different because you’re wrong.

she’s witty, she smart, she’s incredibly fucking kind, patient, and yet so strong willed and never not willing to speak her thoughts even when she’s unbelievably scared. she’s so perfect it hurts honestly.

one of the things that breaks me the most about dina and ellie’s dynamic throughout the entirety of part 2 is dina’s part in it all. her, irrevocably in love with one of her closest friends, JUST after finally confessing to one another officially is suddenly thrust into a WAR where she can only be a bystander. ignoring the whole pregnancy thing, just that is fucking insane.

and she handles it with the utmost care and patience. moreso than honestly anyone around her deserved (not that these characters didn’t deserve kindness).

i could go in depth about how much i believe ellie williams is one of the best representations of PTSD in modern media today but as much as seeing that breaks me, watching dina deal alongside her is infinitely worse. ellie is a character who has just lost her entire world basically, only a few years after seemingly losing her purpose for being alive at all. with no closure. she’s sad, she’s angry, she’s broken, she feels essentially unloveable.

and dina treats her with the gentleness of a morning breeze. you know the thing thats like “character who feels unloveable and the other character who loves them like its breathing”? yeah.

dina is patient, kind, stable. she is exactly the thing that ellie needs. she never blames ellie for her outbursts, she never insinuates that ellie should get over her emotions faster, and even better she doesn’t even treat ellie like glass that could shatter at any moment. she just loves her. in the easiest way one could possibly be loved.

and its hard. it’s difficult and they both go through an unbelievable amount of trauma together and yet they still come out on top. they’re still able to build the semblance of a life together in the ashes of what they’ve lost.

as someone who identifies a lot of myself in ellie. everything about their love and how they love each other does nothing but break me apart. its so full of hope yet so layered in nothing but destruction. it really is the worst kind of despair. especially because of their end. all of that work and just the existence of trauma is what throws it back in her face.

i am not the most eloquent person. im sure my thoughts are jumbled and insane and hard to understand when i write them out like this. but there are so many aspects of this games that are so fucking admirable. naughty dog found a way to tell a tragic story full of people. not good people, not bad people. just humans, and the world would devolve into when pushed to the absolute edge. and even before that. it is a story of the human race at its most raw.

and its heartbreaking. its enjoyable, its sadistic, its humorous and it’s absolutely gut wrenching. its beautiful.

this series will probably never not be my favorite game ever. i will scream about it and look like a crazy person, and i will keep finding more and more things to love about it.

but this is a ramble when its really supposed to be a dina appreciation post. i love her. everyone should love her. she’s such an amazing person and i think about her constantly. i hope that wherever she ended up, her and JJ live the happiest and most fulfilling life they can.

[decaydanceredacted]

dallon finding out that i finally got the balls to top someone only to turn it on me bc they never said yes you can do that, and not telling me shes planning a punishment for ages so randomly at night, when im half asleep, she can start mocking me and teasing me, calling me a slut and it takes a second for me to remember what ive done

then its "oh, oh shit" from me when i get pinned to whatever the nearest surface is, and i can feel the knife back up against my throat like last time i decided to be a bitch. "did you really think i didnt know what happened?"

he cuts a line against my neck again then ends up sucking on the side of it, and i can feel the blood struggling to rush to my dick and also into their mouth because fuck shes the equivalent of a vampire

ends up forcing me to lay back and watch as they strip down to nothing, then forces me to slowly take off each peice of clothing im wearing, or else she'll cut it to shreds off of my body, so im forced to do a stripping show for them

once im fully naked and laying back, the knife is returend to my throat because "bad boys cant think about running away" and yeah no a slut like me cannot even think a thought other than just dallon dallon dallon dallon sir sir sir sir sir

she forces me to suck his fingers for a bit, and i try not to bite down on them when he drags the knife across my chest and below my nips. for a second after thei fingers are removed from my mouth im like thats nice yay then i feel the finger at my hole and i just go oh fuck no while dallons just teasing me and telling me i broke another rule by not having a plug in for him

im barely adjusted to the feeling of a finger in me when he takes it out, then takes a bite on one of my nipples, and presses hard until she can feel the bar of my piercing

"no speaking unless spoken to" is already driving me insane almost crazy and horny enough that dallon pressing his dick against my hole is like ehe yay for a second before i remember im barely prepped but no matter what i cry out or say no (getting slapped across the face each time i do) she's already pushing the head in and fuck it feels so good and so raw and so painful that i almostt think thats the only punishment

but of course its not thats not the end even though im a stupid slut and came from that already, hes still pushing in, and im screaming and yelling and almost crying, shes not even trying to comfort me just telling me how stupid i am and how this makes it so much better for them

and fuck she ends up fucking me and each thrust i scream out because it feels so good and so so painful and it doesnt help that they end up sucking up more blood from my wounds and dripping it off her tongue onto my stomach so it mixes with my cum

when they get close to finishing i know because shes going so fast and is biting down into the crook of my neck and shoulder and it almost feels like his teeth are piercing me and hes growling and huffing and i feel them fill me up

i feel so full and good and finally restful but then she pulls out of me and turns me onto my back, not to fuck me again but to grab the knife again and start carving his name all the way down my skin, then turns me back over so i scream at the feeling of being pressed down on open cuts, and its even more when she carves obsceneties and insults into my arms and thighs

then when shes finally done with that, they take another suck at my blood and then force me to make out with them, and i feel saliva and blood drip out of my mouth and i just lay back in some weird bliss

-drummer anon

.

[noxiatoxia]

@pumpkinmetaphor HII ur asks are off and tumblr DMs are a nightmare to navigate so I will respond here to spare poor poor op

soo I have quite a bit written out actually, but idk if it'll ever come to be ...? I think I actually made a post abt it a bit back. It's just one of those many many things I write in my downtime for fun that will prob never get finished. Anyways the concept revolves around werewolves because I love stories of protags having some deep secret they cannot reveal for fear of rejection or worse. In the story, Kaoru has been infected with lycanthropy after being attacked badly by a werewolf. He lies about this encounter to everyone, doctors and his brother included, as he genuinely believes he must have saw wrong. He was attacked at night when he couldn't see well, the animal seeming to be a wolf...but there aren't any wild wolves in Japan. So Kaoru believes it must have been something else. (side note idk how the disease spreads as of yet. Think either saliva in the bloodstream like rabies or it's a thing of if you get killed by a werewolf you come back as one not knowing you technically died...)

Soso Kaoru beings acting strange after this event. After weeks recovering physically, coming back home, his personality shifts unknowingly to himself. He becomes a lot more restless at night, much more snappy and rude, generally kinda acting like his brother more lol. He just seems to be losing his temper easier and being more aggressive and physical, even with Hikaru, who he also becomes more snappy with. Obviously he doesn't understand why he's acting like this, neither does anybody in the club.

Then the big thing happens...full moon baybeeee. Up to this point Kaoru would feel more awake/elevated heartbeat when looking at the moon, but when the full moon comes around, he feels fucking crazy. Like manic and uncontrollable and he starts to freak out a bit. However he sticks it out because the club is hosting a prom event like episode 2, so it's like, whatever, go home and sleep later.

Until he makes the mistake of forgetting to keep himself busy, which leads to him compulsively staring at the moon, and then he finds he can't look away, and well.

And the transformation thing sort of has him black out. In my head, I imagine the werewolves look like regular wolves, just a tad bigger with bigger paws that may be more human-like. Definitely makes him lose all cognitive ability, and by the time he snaps back to normal, he doesn't know where he is, his clothes are tattered, he's in so much pain, and there's blood, and he's like whaaat the fuck happened here...

He's able to hide these facts, not wanting anyone to know how he found himself when he woke up bc that shit cannot be good. quickly through talk he finds that morning that haruhi got hurt last night, so of course hikaru (who is doubly worried about his brother who disappeared for a chunk of the night) urges that the two of them along with the rest of the host club check up on haruhi (who is at home trying to tell them "im fine guys gooddd")

but like, ofc its the club so they knock the door down lmfao. and tho haruhi plays it cool, she is obviously a little shaken about whatever happened. she has some bandages but nothing awful.

turns out, as she explains, an animal attacked her last night (cue tamaki wailing) and she scared it off by blindly slashing a pocket knife at it ("WHY ARE YOU CARRYING SUCH A DANGEROUS WEAPON AROUND!?!? IF YOU NEED BODY GAURDS KYOYA CAN DO SOMETHING IM SURE-" "i use it to open packages senpai.")

kyoya of course takes the idea of a wild, vicious animal on school grounds very seriously, and so inquires on the appearance of the animal. haruhi pauses but admits it looked like a wolf. of course kyoya tells her that can't be right, it must have been a stray dog, but haruhi insists it did NOT look like a dog.

anyways, the club are in uproar about this, arguing back and forth about this wolf-not-wolf that nearly killed haruhi, and kaoru is silently watching from the back as a terrifying realization dawns on him. he remembered waking up with there being blood. namely, blood on his hands and under his nails, and a nasty cut he got on his cheek which he assumed he acquired by tripping and hitting something sharp. But if he pairs that with what haruhi says, it seems INSANE, but also...it would make sense. everything to this point would make sense.

and it terrifies him. it terrifies him more that hikaru swears up and down that he's going to "kill that filthy mutt" that hurt haruhi, and it terrifies him that kyoya says he's going to bring this up with school staff about increasing security. he wonders if he told them that it wasnt just a wolf, it was HIM, that if they would be merciful, or if they would still hate him. if hikaru would want him dead still. and the fact is, he HURT someone. his friend. this is his fault and he cant even blame his friends if they wanted to go as far as kill him if they found out, now that he is literally a monster that can kill people.

this, finally, is where the carriage thing comes in (took long enough!) the story functions as an elaborate ass metaphor, where kaoru's lycanthropy is a physical metaphor for his anxieties about the person who he's supposed to be, the harm he thinks he's causing other people, the harm he's causing his brother. he's running around, trying to find a cure while keeping everyone in the dark, praying no one finds out before he can fix this and fix himself. and if he cant, his only option is likely a grim one, but he CANT let anyone know, it's too risky, he has to do this by himself. his self-destroying obsession with keeping everyone safe and doing the right thing for his friends causes him to push them away from fear of hurting them or getting hurt himself. there's that part of him that's convinced he won't be able to solve this.

it basically drives him to his lowest point mentally and physically. he avoids all his friends so he can't hurt them with his uncontrollable temper or possible transformation, he's doing tons of shady shit in an effort to cure himself. he goes to nekozawa bc if anybody knows how to solve this fuckery its nekozawa and nekozawa treats him like a little lab experiment lmao bc of course he is enraptured by kaoru's newfound form and the physical changes it has made to his body (sharper canines, faster-growing hair, possibly an inch taller, newfound silver allergy). but of course as news of the wolf attack on campus spreads so do rumors, some "crazy" rumors about werewolves being real, of course rumors that are mocked by most of the kids as being nonsense scary stories, but this does NOT help kaoru's paranoia...

as for how this story ends WELL it's unfinished so you can guess (i have no ending.) i do want some part of hikaru obviously finding out at the worst possible moment, probably a very unfortunate circumstance where kaoru is unable to escape transformation on a full moon and hikaru is there. and he probably begs and pleads for hikaru to leave him alone but of course his brother won't do that, and obviously he is fucking stunned to see his brother turn into ?? a wolf. like erm *marvel voice that just happened..... and since kaoru has no control in this form, he tries to attack and even kill hikaru. hikaru would obviously not fight back, bc he doesn't want to hurt kaoru. that and he is stunned silent.

there are other elements of the story i want. for example, if i ever finish this thing, i do have ideas of ayanokoji being involved somehow. probably a witness to kaoru's odd behavior/actual transformation and thusly being able to use this against him cuz Fuck Da Host Club. or even try to kill him herself bc he's a fucking wolf dude idk. i also had this scene in my head with arai being involved bc the night kaoru attacks his brother he wakes up far as fuck away from tokyo with no memory except knowing A) hikaru was there and B) there is blood all over him he can only think of the worst possibilities so he kinda wanders in an unfamiliar back road in a fugue state until some lady almost accidentally hits him with a car and is like. who is this child covered in wounds and blood......and very sane thing to do she is like. hey do u need like. a lift. you look like ur gonna die. you have like 3 stab wounds. and kaoru is like. floor it chief. anyways turns out it's arai's mother ! woah. which is funny because after helping Kaoru and hanging out with him she admits she's like, "oh i helped you cuz you remind me of my son. you seem about his age" and kaoru is like oh ha ha that's nice of you....and then fuckin arai shows up a few hours later and kaoru is like "ohhhhhhhhhhh............................uhoh."

to which since kaoru doesnt have his phone on him arai offers to phone haruhi for him since he has her number and of course 5 minutes later the host club is at their location in a fucking helicopter or some shit bc ZOMG KAORUUU WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUUUUU WHERE DID U GOOOO (hikaru withholding information)

it's an incredibly "fan fiction-y" story i admit. but that's the fun of it. it could get soooo dramatic too. cuz like yeah duhh hikaru wouldn't want to kill kaoru ofc not but OTHER people ? there's a guy who is a werewolf. umm. can't see that going over well. and the general attitude kaoru would hold and the way he attempts to figure everything out on his own. the day he and hikaru reunite after hikaru finds out the truth could go so many ways, from silence to yelling to crying to awkward laughing to kaoru just blankly asking what hikaru plans to do with him now, like he's a prisoner accepting his execution. sorry i am a fan of introducing trauma between the toxic codependent twins. and like the other members of the club? i can see people like tamaki being quick to try and help kaoru (despite what he did to haruhi) and haruhi being like "this may as well happen welcome to Ouran Fucking Highschool" but people like Mori or Kyoya may be more hesitant, pointing out kaoru, while not malicious, genuinely CANNOT control himself in his canine state and has shown multiple times that can and WILL kill people, including his friends, and that can't be ignored or brushed off. maybe they put a muzzle on him idfk. either way, it's also a great metaphor for stigma bc once his friends start finding out, they are obviously treating him differently. Even (or especially) hikaru. he's being treated like a different person now. it makes him feel more inhuman than ever. they only see this awful monster he can become now, he feels, and honestly, maybe they're right. it's not all of who he is, but it's a part of him, a part of him that has hurt two people he loves most, and so he can't help but judge himself based off that too.

well ermmmm yes! that is my funny funny story that i have like 6k written down in a word document of that i may or may not finish who fuckin knowwws

[gayspock]

goodness gracious

okay so set the scene im eating fruit and yoggy and granola with an iced coffee. just so youre aware. its 9am. i had a BIGGGG LIE IN bc i dont have work today (bank holiday) so smile

although in truth i wanted to go for my run & watch it as is tradition but it turns on the gym IS closed today booooo

tom will honestly suck the bigest dick in the room its so true

kendall being like "stewy dont hide from me" is seriously like half this website for the past few years. come out stewy. come out to see us. come on? kiss?

ROMAN HAVING AN ABSOLUTE MENTY B and just going to rot at his mams. so real for that. im sorry his MUMS. (booo)

"new jess" YOU SICK FUCK

ishould be saying more on this but im kinda jsut watching i know

do you know whats great. no matter who "comesout on top". we will always get a she-eo ceo <3

cunt i

cunt is

as

cunt does

fantastic....

its. horrfying to watch this bc i know shiv does not come out on top. of course she fucking doesnt. this isnt how it ends.

"i wanna fuck her a little bit" panning over to those sad wet bloodhound eyes of tom's

HELP

LUKAS THE FUNNIEST SEGUE

LUKAS SERIOUSLY WILL FUCK YOU BOTH I THINK . IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

"we're going to be okay, greg" good heavens

GREG OPENING GOOGLE TRANSLARTE IS SO FUNNY

romans little grunt about that comment on his nuts. fantastic

something fucking tragic as well about tom being chosen bc lukas doesnt want a partnership, he doesnt want ideas, and shivs too full of them when

"he said them to me first" SO. BIG BROTHER.

HE DOESNT WANT IT. ROME NOT WANTING IT. so. real..........

kendall just diving into the water after going back to the pursuit kendall floating on the water kendall drowning in the water with a dead kid ken almost killing himself in the FUCKING WATER

THEIRI MPRESSIONS OF HIM AWWW

HES NOT GOING TO BE CEO I KNOW HE WONT BE BUT GOD FOR A SECOND HERE YOU COULD IMAGINE IT AS A GOOD THING EVEN WHEN IF HE UCKIN DID ITD BE HORRIBLE

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ITS HORRIBLE

oh god this scene is fucking . help. eyes watering emoji. sniffling sound.

PETER DONT BE SO BITCHY

OF COURSEEEE WILLA WANTS THE COW PRINT COUCH. SO REAL

SHUT UP WHY ARE THEY .. theres so many nice uufcking. i feel ill. i do feel ill . STOP IT.

DONT CUT TO FUCKING GREG RIGHT NOW THATS INSANE

tom you absolute bitch

theres something about toms timbre when he feigns surpris-

"its you" the fucking venom in her voice

IM REEEEELINGGGGGGG

EXACTLY. HE WENT FOR THE EMPTY SUIT SHIV. AND THATS THE MOST TWISTED PART OF IT. SHIV WOULD ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SEEN AS THE EMPTY SUIT AS A WOMAN BU-

OHHH M GOD HER BITCH WALK COME ON FUCKING

THE MUSIC

GOOD HEAVENS

IM HAVING GOOSE BUMPS

YOU ARE NOT CUTTING FROM SHIVS FUCKING DRAMATIC LITTLE MOMENT TO FUCKING TOMGREG IN THE BATHROOM

YOU FUCKING PRICK-

HIT

GIRLS . ladies . HEY

FIGT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGH

PUNCH HIM IN THE CUNT

CAROLINE SNAKINGGGGGG HISS GIRL HISS FOR ME

hi stewyyyyy giggle

cutting to shiv making eyhes at this exchange happening in front of her like uh huhhorrific

ROMAN

imliterally soryr fuck roman i know so earlier it was like fuck roman but ugh yeah fine hes

whatEVER

do any other LOSERS RELATER DO ANY OTHER LOSERS WHO KNEW THEY NEVER HAD A CHANCE RELATE ANY OTHER LOSERS RELATE, DOES THE "IT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU" BURN MORE THAN THE LOSS ITSELF MAYBE anyway

we need compilations of shiv power walking

the fucking parallels of fucking

OF WHEN LOGAN WAS FUCKING PRESSURRING THEM ALL IN THAT ROOM AND NOW KEN DOING IT NOW YOU BETTER BE SMELLNG YOUR ARMPIT ROMULUS VS THATS FUCKING RIGHT

hi shiv

shiv

I DONT THINK YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT TH

for fucks sake s

shiv get his ass

thats so

THIS FUCKING SHIT LIKE I MIGHT DIE KENDALL HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT AS THE PROBLEM KENDALL- HE KILLED SOMEONE GOOD HEAVENS

THATS NOT AN ISSUE IS ANYONE CRAZY

what is worse. killing a kid or lying about killing a kid

SHIV JUST BEING LIKE No................. I LVOE YOU B UT I CANT SOTMACH YOU IS ANYONE FUCKING

THEM HEARING THIS ALL

IM THE ELDEST BOY

IS ANYONE

YOURE NOT

CONNOR IS

holy shit

holy shit

YOU FUCKING C

GHOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

GUYS CAN YOU ALL BE SERIOUS

THIS IS ALWAYS HOW IT WAS GOING TO FUCKING END YOU FUCKING

I FEEL SICK IN THE HEAD

KENDALL

KENDALL WE NEED TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS NOW

KENDALL

ME WHEN I BURN EVERYTHING ME WHEN I GIVE EVERY PIECE OF MYSELF TO MY BIRTHRIGHT WHEN IM NOT EVEN GOOOD AT IT AND MY SISTER SAYS SO OOOPSIES

WE'RE NOTHINGGGGGGGGGG

i love it when little men get angry. like ahhh! x3 so ferocious. awww. yap yap yap

EVERYONE WHO JUST FUCKING HEARD AL OF THAT IN THE FUCKING OTHER ROOM. KEN. ITS DONE.

ken dont fucking kill uyourself now

ken

we need to be normal right now

TOM ON TOP IS PERHAPS THE MOST NANUSEATIGNG. MY GOD.....

WHY ARE WE GETTING KRANK KONTENT

WHERES KAROLINA. HEAVENS.

GREG BARELY GETTING A FUCKING HANDSHAKE

THEYRE DEAD. KRANK ARE DEAD. OLD CUNTS.

you fucked it man you fucked it man you fucking piece of shit help-H WHY DID YOU JUST FUCKING STIKC TH

OH I FEEL A LITTLE UNWELL . CAN YOU TWO CUT IT OUT FOR 10 FUCKING SECONDS.

OH GOD ITS ENDING NOW ISNT IT

OH GOD

this shit reeks

kendall

KENDALL

GET AWAY FROM THE FUCKING WATER KENDALL

DONT KENDALL YOURSELF YOURE SO SEXY

does anyone else feel fucking unwell i think im gonna sob

[poems-of-a-lover]

nick watches spiderman

oh boy okay. agh. here we go. right off the bat the opening is just SO good??? its so sick and for what??? the soundtrack to both films also is very clearly 2010s pop music or whatever but still im a fan. shoutout to 2012 and 2014 specifically (bc thats when the movies came out KJHKJASHG)

peter playing hide and seek with his father in the beginning of tasm is very cute until u realize why his fathers hiding =]

AGH. richard parker.

oh yeah i forgot abt the office. so richards office gets broken into and like ransacked bc oscorp employees (????) were looking for his data on the spiders. is this ever stated in either film? no.

anyway! time to abandon our child and leave the country! - richard and mary parker

we learn basically nothing abt mary btw like we have noooo idea who she is shes just there

OKAY ALSO in the first film when theyre leaving richard says "be good" and just shuts the door. in the SECOND one he holds peters hand and rubs his thumb over it then says it and leaves. idk why its different its probably just a mistake but i noticed

FLASH THOMPSON this flash is soooo interesting he has such a fun character

peter being a scrawny brunette white boy and a skater and photographer in like the 2010s and also somehow being single is baffling to me

anyway hes abt to get his shit kicked in

remember how i said flash is a fun character? hes not rn he kinda sucks BUT he gets better

like he hits peter a few times but he gets better i promise

SHOUTOUT TO GWEN shes awesome she doesnt suffer from "only worth being a love interest" disease she actually has a full character

also her checking on peter after the fight is so cute

most of her character development and stuff comes in the second film bc it focuses on their relationship more but its so fun

"ben parker dont u even think abt leaving that filthy box in my kitchen" "these are my bowling trophies" "oh well then by all means please leave that filthy box in my kitchen" I LOOOOVE MAY AND BEN

ben is such a fun father figure for peter. like he says he doesnt know how to parent and take care of him well enough but honestly? he does a pretty good job

THIS. GODDAMN BRIEFCASE. THIS BRIEFCASE RUINS SO MUCH.

"guess who sold it to him? your mother, thats how they met" AGHHHH THATS SOOOO CUTE anyway whatever back to peter

oh yeah the photo of richard and curt. the start of it all. KGJHSKJGH this causes so many issues for everyone now

peter parker in glasses. i wanna be him.

im genuine peter parker is like prime gender envy for me i wanna be him soooo bad

THE DOOR LOCK he managed to build his own remote controlled door lock its so fun

ben is suchhh a good character to compare to richard. bens not even blood to peter but he treated him so incredibly well. and ik richard was in danger and thats why he left but he also just left his son. its more complicated than that for sure but at this point chronologically thats all we know

curt and richard working together is soooo interesting bc richard was just out here working for everyone JGHSKJHG

"youll find your badge to the left" [peter looks for two seconds] "are you having trouble finding yourself?" MAAM GIVE HIM TIME KJGJKSHF

like yes he snuck into this very important building and stole an internship slot from someone else but still!! let the man find a fake name!!!

GWEN oh yeah gwen is dr connors head intern she is so incredibly smart JKGHJSKHGKJ like u see her intelligence a lot more in the second film but shes so smart and i love her so much im a gwen stacy fan

each of the spiderman villains (or marvel in general) either want revenge or to make the world perfect. or both. gimme somethin new. /LHLH ITS FUN I ENJOY THE LIZARD PLOT

"hes second in his class" "second?" "yeah" "are you sure about that?" "im pretty sure" peter and gwen my beloveds <333

they have such a fun relationship and it drives me crazy theyre so cute jhafkjhskj even when theyre not together theyre still like. friends. (dont think abt the second movie we're not there yet)

i wish i was watching this with someone so i wouldnt have to explain whats happening on screen while also giving thoughts abt it. whos gonna step up and watch spiderman with me.

PETER. HE JUST BROKE INTO THE BIG SECRET SCIENCE LAB> U CANT JUST.

hes a little stupid

this might go without saying but if ur arachnophobic i do not recommend watching the first movie bc this whole lab sequence is just a shit ton of spiders. the second movie should be good but this one is. not.

anyway peters touching things and its not going well for him

OH YEAH CURTS TALKING ABT NORMAN okay so dr connors work is strictly to work on curing norman osborn bc he has retroviral hyperplasia (the osborn curse) hes not actually working to help ppl, thats not what he was hired for, hes here to help cure norman so that he doesnt die from this disease that no ones cured yet

so what theyre essentially doing is trying cross species genetics to see if some animal with like. self healing abilities. (like a spider) would cure norman if used in the correct way. thats also what richard was working on with him but we dont learn abt that for a while.

ANYWAY MY FRIEND IS DOING STUFF SO IM GONNA PAUSE HERE. ILL PICK BACK UP ON THIS LATER TONIGHT <3

[cassiesc0rner]

kicking my feet rn. im so happy you liked my vision because it really feels like we match on our ideas or something. i mean for example theres people that like him but just for his looks so they basically rewrite the entire character for him to be sugarcoated in the fic but honestly i just like him the way he is...... like i imagine myself getting to east highland as a new student after all the drama that went down and still considering being with him just because i need therapy and i like the danger and how crazy he is. like ok i wanna fight him or have him drive me around town at 3 am going 100mph just because he wants me to feel like we will crash for fun. idk i feel like we just match in a weird way ... and i cannot stop thinking about him he's like my newest obsession (i need to be obsessed with something or else i get bored and everything in my life is dull lmao) but yeah sometimes i think about comforting after he fights with his dad or things like that.... ALSO its crazy how you the way you wrote y/s's relationships with her parents similar to my family's relationship. it just makes the whole thing more surreal. only difference between her life and mine is that i have full on screaming matches with my mother at least twice a week and my dad never does shit until he loses it and yells at me like a mad man. but yeah im so happy u liked what i wrote i was kind of u scared not liking it. BUT YEAH HE NEEDS TO CHOKE HER PLEASEEE

also also can i be 💿 anon? (like can that me sort of my sign off so u know its me whenever i send an ask??)

omg ikr?! i noticed that too, especially on wattpad. I mean, there’s obviously nothing wrong with thinking he’s attractive and writing him out of character, some people enjoy it but yeah, I like to keep him as true to character as I can🙂‍↕️ (might be because I’m just like you and like him like that bjsnwhsne?!?) and omg I literally did/do the same lmao that’s why i came up with this story in the first place and I’m so glad I published it, because I just thought it’d be another piece of ff I’d write and never upload lmao. And I fear we might be twins bc her mom is literally like mine too lmao. I just couldn’t bring myself to write normal parents for her, because I literally don’t know what that’s like, so I totally get you💀 and noo don’t be scared, I’m always open for suggestions and thoughts on impurities, and your ask was just chefs kiss so don’t be shy!!

and ofc you can be 💿 anon!!

[softzindagi]

tw: grief, parent in hospice

its crazy, in a way thats increasingly devastating, how i sit beside my father, whose body is “transitioning” as it makes itself ready for its finality. i sit here and i feel utterly bereft, my mom sleeping on the sofa and my family scattered around my house asleep. ive spent the entire day with him, watched my mom cry twice as we prayed for him (and ive never seen her cry on e), telling him we love him and hope he hears it, that he knows it in the care i have given him without reservation for so long. we sit at home, after countless hospital visits and constant moments of thinking this is finally it. but he’s still here, unresponsive but still alive and breathing. maybe he’s waiting for all his family to be here, maybe he knows not everyone is here yet, or maybe he’s giving us the time to be with him, to say our goodbyes. maybe it’s both. i just want him to be without pain, and i know he is in so much pain, his body rigid and lungs wheezing. i write this all to keep this memory, to save it in a way my memory cannot. i think about that often, how i dont remember things well, how i’ll forget so much and not have the memories of him that i should. pictures and videos are my saving grace, but more than that i have the voicemails he’s left. i found one the other day of him, during covid, calling me in a sing song voice, asking me when im coming downstairs to hang out. i cried on the spot, after frantically looking in the deleted voicemails. i thought i did not have anything of him saying my name, of the dad who was fun and loving and not in any pain. a man full of such life, when all these last eight months have given him is nothing but pain and suffering. parkinsons has taken everything from him. i would give anything to see him smile again, for the smile to be like it used to, with full cheeks that haven’t been stripped and sunken, with eyes bright and squinting, not closed and unable to open. i don’t know what i’m going to do when i don’t have him anymore. i am in denial really, the grief has been such a part of these last few months, that its hard to feel anything when i feel like ive felt it all. every bit of decline, every small or large step backwards. being his caregiver has been the hardest thing of my life, but i’d do it again. he deserves that and more. one of my fears as a teenager was my dad never meeting my kids. i’m 27 now, still single and now that fear is coming true. its not something thats been on my mind, but even then i knew he wouldnt. having elderly parents does that to a person. i knew he’d be sick, he’s been sick my whole life. i just hope he’s peaceful and he knows how loved he is in this big crazy family of his. so loved and so beloved. that we did everything we could. i just hope he knows.

[scentedchildnacho]

I don't know I think the man who pulled up at me where there is no parking is the same man that stalked me in several areas......it's just what he does as a psychiatrist stalks up to victims and tries to electroshock victims with his car to see if humans can survive extreme heat

He got out of his car and clicked something like he had a gun then opened his trunk but then he just drove away apparently shooting me finally and putting me in the trunk was not a good option

So I just prayed to God to finally give my spirit justice he was a weird disgusting man and deserved no comforts and to finally give my sacrifice his things and may he finally know my severe pain and deprivation while I lord over the world as my true vanity

Im sorry but people like me were kind and don't deserve having to really really pee with everything locked up behind a gun....so if God is true and real no God would give things to people as vile and repulsive as car man engines his dick kills the whole world

I was so frightened I was like dear God finally give me tanks though finally give me something much larger and meaner then these work terrorist wars and may they be as terrified as they have terrified let it finally be over full military quarantine

Lord over others under fascism...

He stalked me behind a fence in las Cruces new Mexico he drove up at me by a federal mail building in Escondido....he has been trying to shock me to death in many ways

Its a stalker that's why I keep moving or people won't finally notice him showing up as too many jobs with too many state 🆔 with different names

I was really screaming nothing but fuckos but people still give them my comforts....so after Barcelona on the christian history of heresy I'm really tired of dying of a peace God

Stupid bitch puts her nudity near an engine or near nuke sand.....im sorry but I'm tired of them trying to kill me with their nudity problem....still no payments to me made

I dont want to die of its stupid bitch cult....so if I can I will put them in crazy mad ward mesh and tell it it's on bed rest till it's a civil human being to itself get out of my face

No I didn't call police...its having to call someone about all ones problems in life when there was prior legislated conversations about the problem

I don't know all the police will do they act kind of ineffectual and they do know all about that man and will stop and shock him at times more convenient to them I assume

I've watched cop shows......so I assume that was maybe my case worker and they will stop him eventually and ask him where my monthly payments are and why I don't have a membership to shower regularly

That is what cops do about child welfare cases......its why doesn't he have anything for his actual physical diagnosis mental regime

The blacks around are being expulsion stereotypes so that cult also can finally go to a ward and emigrate or deport but God get the fuck away from me with your drug problem

They have a street dealer that kind of alters their need to stalk around calling outside their nasty smoke problem that test psychoactives in food so eventually people will stop making them states

Myal difference between jamaican and African....if whites here finally stop stealing my funds to cover obligations to Africans then

Their white racists and they kill other white people to cover their problems with other populations

A drunks history of Harriet Tubman...I sure do hope she arrives to go where I cannot

That's people like this clear cutting nothing but car motorcycle company....it has projects fucking over nature all over the world and you have to die of good relief efforts elsewhere

They need relief in many areas and you have to die of other people's finally getting their just relief

That is why white religions teach people to not get into pleasure and valuation too much or your just day could really fuck over a treaty and backlash ya later

People like me do believe in the Confederacy and creation of the ku Klux klan so I have to be called white and tortured till I lash out in stereotypical ways

[cuntspunsgunsfuns]

manifestation works

and here's what happened to me; my dream job, my final exams, money, make up, clothes i wanted, relationships, basically everything that i ever asked for and manifested, came to me. no bullshit.

i graduated last week, and there's (im not exactly sure if its called the SAT's) your final exams you have to take all of them when you're about to graduate and stuff. so mind you, in january i signed up for it, back then i had trouble with school learning and stuff, so i was pretty CONFIDENT that i signed up for nothing and i was gonna fail. and i wanted to study real bad, but i never did. so before the SATs i wanted to get a job like real bad after i was finished with school, and i was not close to getting one. and i was so lost, i felt like my life was over and i was so insecure about stuff, so i pretty much gave up trying. i was scrolling through tik tok and i found a video that was talking about how SUBLIMINALS work and that people are actually getting crazy results from listening to subliminals and stuff. i was desperate, and very much worn out but i still gave it a try, cause like it wont hurt and this stuff is really interesting to me. every morning before going to school, i sat In front of the mirror doing my make up and listening to a subliminal that was focused on like, getting my dream job. and i was getting ready and just imaging myself getting that call from the boss or some shit, and getting ready for work like it was all in my head.

deadass, i get a phone call saying that they were so interested by my application and they would like to offer me an internship just to see if i like it, if its something that its meant for me, if they'll see that i am capable of working here, and stuff.

guys, im gonna start working in september, and they pay me 2x more than what i thought they would.

i will always be thankful to myself for being patient and actually never losing hope, because sometimes it took too long for them to reach out to me, but in the end i got it.

i had three final exams left. and these were the most, intense, like the ones that count the most. and you cannot fuck up any of these exams because they are literally, the most important of all the exams you've done so far. i was not prepared, i didnt open a book to like at least try or something. i was walking in these exams confident about everything, like i know what im doing, i didnt learn shit but im here for it and im gonna pass it.

i had doubts but each time my mom asked me howd it go id tell her that i aced it and nothing to worry about. so math is the final exam, and its tomorrow, and im procrastinating each time, i tell myself ill study later but it ended up being 9pm and i was literally on PRIME VIDEO.

i go on yt, search a short video explaining hard math, dont understand one thing. so im like, why should i do this when i can just listen to a subliminal?? LOL. I LISTENED TO A SUBLIMINAL FOR 2 MINUTES. AND IT WORKED.

i dont wanna go into full detail but im writing this to remind myself how i did all of that. i always thought that i was crazy, because i could not understand, why, or how, each time i think about something it comes to me. i thought i was losing my mind lol. i think about a song that i havent heard in a loooong time or a shirt i havent seen for a long time and they just pop up. right in my eyes. in the same day in the same hour.

my subconscious mind is so powerful and i swear u cannot convince me otherwise. its helping me. and every thought just comes like it sounds super crazy but its so real and its amazing.

so thats why u should visualize, think about what u want, who u want to become and that will come to you. your subconscious mind is already getting it. because your thoughts already exist, your desires are yours and you just have to let them come through.

each time you talk bad, or bad mouth, talk shit about someone your subconscious mind records it and basically places that effect on you. like who you are, that negativity doesn't flow to that person, it comes to you. so whenever you open your mouth and say something hateful its only backfiring.

the same is with your thoughts. whenever you sit there and worry and just constantly doubt yourself, hate yourself, hate the future and think about how horrible its gonna turn out or ur not enough, thats exactly whats gonna happen.

u can control it. you can be it