#not like ACTUALLY dying but its an amnesia story and *rubs hands together have i got SO many ideas.

[noxiatoxia]

@pumpkinmetaphor HII ur asks are off and tumblr DMs are a nightmare to navigate so I will respond here to spare poor poor op

soo I have quite a bit written out actually, but idk if it'll ever come to be ...? I think I actually made a post abt it a bit back. It's just one of those many many things I write in my downtime for fun that will prob never get finished. Anyways the concept revolves around werewolves because I love stories of protags having some deep secret they cannot reveal for fear of rejection or worse. In the story, Kaoru has been infected with lycanthropy after being attacked badly by a werewolf. He lies about this encounter to everyone, doctors and his brother included, as he genuinely believes he must have saw wrong. He was attacked at night when he couldn't see well, the animal seeming to be a wolf...but there aren't any wild wolves in Japan. So Kaoru believes it must have been something else. (side note idk how the disease spreads as of yet. Think either saliva in the bloodstream like rabies or it's a thing of if you get killed by a werewolf you come back as one not knowing you technically died...)

Soso Kaoru beings acting strange after this event. After weeks recovering physically, coming back home, his personality shifts unknowingly to himself. He becomes a lot more restless at night, much more snappy and rude, generally kinda acting like his brother more lol. He just seems to be losing his temper easier and being more aggressive and physical, even with Hikaru, who he also becomes more snappy with. Obviously he doesn't understand why he's acting like this, neither does anybody in the club.

Then the big thing happens...full moon baybeeee. Up to this point Kaoru would feel more awake/elevated heartbeat when looking at the moon, but when the full moon comes around, he feels fucking crazy. Like manic and uncontrollable and he starts to freak out a bit. However he sticks it out because the club is hosting a prom event like episode 2, so it's like, whatever, go home and sleep later.

Until he makes the mistake of forgetting to keep himself busy, which leads to him compulsively staring at the moon, and then he finds he can't look away, and well.

And the transformation thing sort of has him black out. In my head, I imagine the werewolves look like regular wolves, just a tad bigger with bigger paws that may be more human-like. Definitely makes him lose all cognitive ability, and by the time he snaps back to normal, he doesn't know where he is, his clothes are tattered, he's in so much pain, and there's blood, and he's like whaaat the fuck happened here...

He's able to hide these facts, not wanting anyone to know how he found himself when he woke up bc that shit cannot be good. quickly through talk he finds that morning that haruhi got hurt last night, so of course hikaru (who is doubly worried about his brother who disappeared for a chunk of the night) urges that the two of them along with the rest of the host club check up on haruhi (who is at home trying to tell them "im fine guys gooddd")

but like, ofc its the club so they knock the door down lmfao. and tho haruhi plays it cool, she is obviously a little shaken about whatever happened. she has some bandages but nothing awful.

turns out, as she explains, an animal attacked her last night (cue tamaki wailing) and she scared it off by blindly slashing a pocket knife at it ("WHY ARE YOU CARRYING SUCH A DANGEROUS WEAPON AROUND!?!? IF YOU NEED BODY GAURDS KYOYA CAN DO SOMETHING IM SURE-" "i use it to open packages senpai.")

kyoya of course takes the idea of a wild, vicious animal on school grounds very seriously, and so inquires on the appearance of the animal. haruhi pauses but admits it looked like a wolf. of course kyoya tells her that can't be right, it must have been a stray dog, but haruhi insists it did NOT look like a dog.

anyways, the club are in uproar about this, arguing back and forth about this wolf-not-wolf that nearly killed haruhi, and kaoru is silently watching from the back as a terrifying realization dawns on him. he remembered waking up with there being blood. namely, blood on his hands and under his nails, and a nasty cut he got on his cheek which he assumed he acquired by tripping and hitting something sharp. But if he pairs that with what haruhi says, it seems INSANE, but also...it would make sense. everything to this point would make sense.

and it terrifies him. it terrifies him more that hikaru swears up and down that he's going to "kill that filthy mutt" that hurt haruhi, and it terrifies him that kyoya says he's going to bring this up with school staff about increasing security. he wonders if he told them that it wasnt just a wolf, it was HIM, that if they would be merciful, or if they would still hate him. if hikaru would want him dead still. and the fact is, he HURT someone. his friend. this is his fault and he cant even blame his friends if they wanted to go as far as kill him if they found out, now that he is literally a monster that can kill people.

this, finally, is where the carriage thing comes in (took long enough!) the story functions as an elaborate ass metaphor, where kaoru's lycanthropy is a physical metaphor for his anxieties about the person who he's supposed to be, the harm he thinks he's causing other people, the harm he's causing his brother. he's running around, trying to find a cure while keeping everyone in the dark, praying no one finds out before he can fix this and fix himself. and if he cant, his only option is likely a grim one, but he CANT let anyone know, it's too risky, he has to do this by himself. his self-destroying obsession with keeping everyone safe and doing the right thing for his friends causes him to push them away from fear of hurting them or getting hurt himself. there's that part of him that's convinced he won't be able to solve this.

it basically drives him to his lowest point mentally and physically. he avoids all his friends so he can't hurt them with his uncontrollable temper or possible transformation, he's doing tons of shady shit in an effort to cure himself. he goes to nekozawa bc if anybody knows how to solve this fuckery its nekozawa and nekozawa treats him like a little lab experiment lmao bc of course he is enraptured by kaoru's newfound form and the physical changes it has made to his body (sharper canines, faster-growing hair, possibly an inch taller, newfound silver allergy). but of course as news of the wolf attack on campus spreads so do rumors, some "crazy" rumors about werewolves being real, of course rumors that are mocked by most of the kids as being nonsense scary stories, but this does NOT help kaoru's paranoia...

as for how this story ends WELL it's unfinished so you can guess (i have no ending.) i do want some part of hikaru obviously finding out at the worst possible moment, probably a very unfortunate circumstance where kaoru is unable to escape transformation on a full moon and hikaru is there. and he probably begs and pleads for hikaru to leave him alone but of course his brother won't do that, and obviously he is fucking stunned to see his brother turn into ?? a wolf. like erm *marvel voice that just happened..... and since kaoru has no control in this form, he tries to attack and even kill hikaru. hikaru would obviously not fight back, bc he doesn't want to hurt kaoru. that and he is stunned silent.

there are other elements of the story i want. for example, if i ever finish this thing, i do have ideas of ayanokoji being involved somehow. probably a witness to kaoru's odd behavior/actual transformation and thusly being able to use this against him cuz Fuck Da Host Club. or even try to kill him herself bc he's a fucking wolf dude idk. i also had this scene in my head with arai being involved bc the night kaoru attacks his brother he wakes up far as fuck away from tokyo with no memory except knowing A) hikaru was there and B) there is blood all over him he can only think of the worst possibilities so he kinda wanders in an unfamiliar back road in a fugue state until some lady almost accidentally hits him with a car and is like. who is this child covered in wounds and blood......and very sane thing to do she is like. hey do u need like. a lift. you look like ur gonna die. you have like 3 stab wounds. and kaoru is like. floor it chief. anyways turns out it's arai's mother ! woah. which is funny because after helping Kaoru and hanging out with him she admits she's like, "oh i helped you cuz you remind me of my son. you seem about his age" and kaoru is like oh ha ha that's nice of you....and then fuckin arai shows up a few hours later and kaoru is like "ohhhhhhhhhhh............................uhoh."

to which since kaoru doesnt have his phone on him arai offers to phone haruhi for him since he has her number and of course 5 minutes later the host club is at their location in a fucking helicopter or some shit bc ZOMG KAORUUU WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUUUUU WHERE DID U GOOOO (hikaru withholding information)

it's an incredibly "fan fiction-y" story i admit. but that's the fun of it. it could get soooo dramatic too. cuz like yeah duhh hikaru wouldn't want to kill kaoru ofc not but OTHER people ? there's a guy who is a werewolf. umm. can't see that going over well. and the general attitude kaoru would hold and the way he attempts to figure everything out on his own. the day he and hikaru reunite after hikaru finds out the truth could go so many ways, from silence to yelling to crying to awkward laughing to kaoru just blankly asking what hikaru plans to do with him now, like he's a prisoner accepting his execution. sorry i am a fan of introducing trauma between the toxic codependent twins. and like the other members of the club? i can see people like tamaki being quick to try and help kaoru (despite what he did to haruhi) and haruhi being like "this may as well happen welcome to Ouran Fucking Highschool" but people like Mori or Kyoya may be more hesitant, pointing out kaoru, while not malicious, genuinely CANNOT control himself in his canine state and has shown multiple times that can and WILL kill people, including his friends, and that can't be ignored or brushed off. maybe they put a muzzle on him idfk. either way, it's also a great metaphor for stigma bc once his friends start finding out, they are obviously treating him differently. Even (or especially) hikaru. he's being treated like a different person now. it makes him feel more inhuman than ever. they only see this awful monster he can become now, he feels, and honestly, maybe they're right. it's not all of who he is, but it's a part of him, a part of him that has hurt two people he loves most, and so he can't help but judge himself based off that too.

well ermmmm yes! that is my funny funny story that i have like 6k written down in a word document of that i may or may not finish who fuckin knowwws

[spycethra]

Train of Heart (part 1)

WOW, this was long overdue. But hey, I finally finished part 1 and commenced part 2 a bit for this mini Handsome Peacock Sorcerer AU. @handsomepeacock drew an amaaaazing version of Peacock Jack as a kickass sorcerer. 

Anywho, so yeah. =D Had to make a story and I finally found the vital bit of inspo I needed to continue this. Thus here we are.

AU: Handsome Peacock Sorcerer Pairing: Rhack Summary: Long ago, Jack was a total dick across the land. In laymen’s terms, he was too much of a jerk for the rest of the world to handle anymore. So the heroes came along and defeated him by cheating. [Just kidding, they cursed him to become an immortal peacock without his train (AKA that bundle of feathers at his butt.)]

Many years have passed since that fateful encounter until finally he happens across a certain fanboy that might be his only chance at breaking his curse.

Hope you enjoy part 1, Handsomepeacock!

Once upon a time in the tiny hamlet town of Flamerock, there was a simple commoner by the name of Rhys. He was a fairly vanilla individual as he worked the usual afternoon shift in the only bookshop within town. The villagers found it fairly odd how the man sincerely enjoyed working alone amongst the yawning pages of strange almanacs and forgotten biographies as well as not-so-fictional bestiaries, but they still accepted him as one of their own.

He was a boringly normal guy with just as dull a lifestyle. Even as his twenty-sixth birthday arrived, he looked back on it all with a soft sigh of disappointment into his mug. Where was the thrill? When did he ever feel his heart pound? Did he ever?

The incessant questions created an unpleasant yearning in his chest as he rose from his stool at the bar. With every step taken away from it, his mind seemed to have a new reason to put him down. After all, his most notable traits were that of hushed mentions within the townsfolk of his missing right arm and unseeing eye. Hardly something he wanted to be remembered for if he were to suddenly kick the bucket, but it was something he was forced to deal with.

That was the most mystery he had in his life as he couldn’t remember what happened to either of them. Much less what most of his life had even been about prior to showing up to Flamerock. Not that anyone was aware of it, of course. Rhys was very careful about keeping his ‘mild’ amnesia on the downlow. The last thing he needed was to have people thinking he had been bewitched.

With another dejected sigh, he made for the backway while avoiding any eyes that might trail his movements. He needed some time alone to think, or at least reassess his life. In his mind, there honestly had to be more for him, but the young man consistently felt himself at a loss on how to find it.

Rhys successful slipped away unnoticed from the lively party his friends had thrown for him in the local tavern. The gaiety beheld for his birthday was very real, which he could appreciate, but the heavy weight of wasted years effectively distracted him from the celebration. He decided a bit of air might do him some good as he took a stroll down the unkempt road.

“At least tonight is nice…” he murmured toward the cool night air, trying to cheer himself up.

Rhys raised his mismatched gaze to enjoy the starry sky in all its magnificent wonder. Hundreds of dazzling specks decorated the sky with their varied hues of colorful glow. The rest of the town was quiet. Every home and shop seemed ready to serenely slumber away into the tomorrow as not a single window shined with candle light.

His little world felt at peace… and for some unexplainable reason that made Rhys very sad.

Were the days of the Handsome Peacock Sorcerer truly so far gone?

The birthday boy’s face fell as he stopped staring at the mystical constellations above him and instead fixated at the uneven cobblestone path before him. His shoulders slouched while his pace slowed. His unseen burdens became heavier with every unwanted step toward his equally mundane abode.

Would he never escape such a mundane existence?

He used to almost be something before… Didn’t he? The ache seemed to agree within his chest, but Rhys still couldn’t pinpoint its cause as he gripped the front of his shirt.

A surprising squawk followed by a livid hiss struck the air. It was coming from a nearby alleyway that was thrust between the barber and the florist shop. It sounded as if there was a struggle as the grunts and strain of an unknown man invaded the air followed by more inhuman noises of pure rage.

The safe (and sane) choice would have been to silently return to the party while pretending he didn’t hear a thing, but after having mentally berated himself for never taking risks, Rhys couldn't help himself but to investigate. He was tired of always playing it safe. He carefully made his way toward the violent conflict, hoping it was just one of the chickens that may have gotten loose or-

“Grah! Blasted bird!! Grrrhk!” the man yelled furiously before a thud.

Rhys lingered closer, wholesomely terrified. Murder wasn’t exactly a norm anymore… at least not by wild birds. The sorry gasps of a dying man tempted him to examine the scene.

“Wh-what’s… going… on?” He inquired, barely over an audible whisper while squinting his eyes to better see through the shadows.

By the time he arrived, the man was already sprawled dead upon the ground. Blood drained from his freshly torn throat, trickling between the gaps of stonework underneath him. Rhys’ hand flew to his mouth as he fought off the oncoming waves of nausea that now swirled repulsively within his stomach. He had no chance to identify the man in the dark, but he had a far more pressing issue at hand as the unsettling sound of something large scuttled behind him, forcing the auburn haired man to turn with a frightened yelp.

“Agh!!”

At first, he whirled around to find nothing in front of him besides the empty road. He began to calm when he thought the creature to be gone until an unhealthy scritching against stone caused him to dip his eyes downwards toward what was unmistakably a stray peacock standing directly in front of him - draped unpleasantly in blood. Rhys could see drops of gleaming scarlet dripping from the ruffled avian.

It eyed him threateningly, holding its ground for any potential provocation. He could tell the bird was definitely sizing him up, but for what, the one armed man couldn't tell. Though Rhys should have been much more terrified of the dangerous creature before him, instead he felt an overwhelming sense of awe.

“Wow… You’re an actual peacock… I didn’t think there were any left,” he whispered while inspecting the bristling peacock from where he stood, “Nice birdy… I'm not looking for any trouble...”

Or so he claimed. Rhys attempted to step closer to the avian but the flustered bird squawked warningly at him to keep his distance if he knew what was good for him. The man stepped back with heightened fright. There was no question for the stranger's cause of death. It clearly stood right in front of him with an unbridled fury as its bloody talons continued to scratch at the ground, much like how a bull would indicate its readiness to charge.

A few scared back steps was all it took from Rhys befor the peacock to begin charging straight at him with massive wings outstretched and a battle cry of livid squawking.

“Wait! Waiiiit! Ahhhhhh!!”

Fleeing desperately for his own life, Rhys continued to yell and shout in hopes of getting someone to help him, but it seemed all the residents of Flamerock were heavy sleepers as none of them came to his aid. Sprinting as fast as his long legs would take him, Rhys eventually reached his home. His trembling hand patted desperately around every pocket he had until feeling the familiar lump that was his keys.

He wasn't even sure where the crazy peacock had gone but he wasn't about to risk being killed on the night of his birthday over it. He had his fill for danger to last the rest of of his life as far as he was concerned. The jingle of metal clinking together became the beautiful sound of salvation as Rhys quickly stabbed them into the lock of his door, quickly swinging it open before sealing himself safely inside.

The door rattled against its hinges as talons scraped furiously against splintering wood. Rhys pressed against it with his shoulder, placing his full weight in fear that the cheap rusted hinges would soon give out.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he pleaded while the bird carried on destroying his door, “You just reminded me of the Handsome Peacock Sorcerer!”

And just like that… the assault on his door ceased entirely.

Rhys lifted his head, now covered in sweat, as he waited for some sort of additional sound to indicate the bird was leaving. Fear still stung at him while adrenaline pumped through his veins, gluing him a moment longer against the door. When the silence continued, he chanced taking a breath and removing himself to call it a night.

“...Talk about a close one,” he panted while rubbing at his side before trudging toward his bedroom, “I wonder why it stopped though… Could it have understood me?”

He shook his head with a chuckle. A peacock understanding English? It was far more believable that the avian simply grew tired and left out of loss of interest. Though a part of Rhys felt it was nice to dream a little. As frightening as the encounter was, he was grateful to have had something happen. His only regret was that he’d probably never see another peacock again for the rest of his life.

With a dejected sigh, the young man made it a few steps inside before he heard the indignant squawk just beside him...