#its been... a while since ive drawn a face

[goldenstorm0]

saw a dumb thing wanted to draw it. don't super like it but I'm happy with some of the shading

Bonus:

she knew, they felt guilty

[arolesbianism]

I've been brainstorming design ideas for one of the side party characters and I have received visions that I 1 don't know if I can pull off 2 don't know if it'd fit amongst the rest of the side party and 3 fucking adore and wanna try drawing anyways. Raiden found dead in a ditch

[burning-omen]

Happy (Belated) Halloween!

Jason Todd x Demon!male!reader

(A/n: I'm tired, I've been getting argued at and pulled into fights that have nothing to do with me from the time I woke up- had a bunch of chores and shit to do and the fucking grocery store was packed and people keep bumping into me and all the fucking prices went way up since the last time I was there less than a month ago- I'm thoroughly overstimulated and getting home to edit and rewrite certain parts of this shitty little fic was a probably the best part of my day.)

Warning: crack fic kinda, blood, Demon!reader, murder, mutilation, and gore, summoning gone right technically, reader has TWO dicks, size difference, overstimulation, masochism, probably misspellings idk I'm not reading it again that's your job, dom/sub, ownership marking, sacrifice (rip that guy, ive been calling him marvin in my head), going missing for a lil while (consensually), OOC jason todd but this is literally porn who cares

word count: 1981 (short, i know, shut up/j)

Halloween parties were the worst. If the loud, drunk, half-naked crowd wasn’t enough to convince Jason, walking in on an honest to god seance was.

Being dragged to a party by Dick, only to lose him in the crowd of people within the first few minutes. He just wanted some quiet- and under the guise of looking for how brother he managed to avoid nearly every conversation that came his way- except for some incomprehensible drunk girl who insisted on holding a conversation with his even though she sounded like she was under water every time she opened her mouth.

He eventually managed to escape from her, finding the nearest room to recuperate in, only to be greeted by a room of chanting, drunk party-goers, kneeling around a shakily drawn yet intricate summoning circle. The chant was Latin- super old Latin- and Jason really wanted no part in this. He knew that demons were real, he knew a lot of shit that was supposedly fake was real- he had Batman to thank for that. So, after standing in the room for about 30 seconds, he decided to leave.

Turning on his heel, not saying a word to whatever party cult he just walked in on- deadset on leaving when he heard choking, and gasps from the mini cult as they clamored around the chanter who had suddenly collapsed.

Taking in a deep breath, cursing Bruce and the unwavering need to help he instilled in all of his children, before turning back to the group.

Laying, choking in the middle of the circle was a young man-

‘He’s drunk,’ Jason thought, pushing through the group surrounding him, their concern was nice- but unhelpful ‘probably choked on his tongue.’

Tilting his head back, the choking became louder- tears streamed down his face, his mouth agape as he clawed at his throat- his eyes desperate and afraid.

“It’s okay,” Jason tried, but he wasn’t exactly known for his bedside manner. “Just let me look.”

He peered down the man's throat- his tongue was wear it was supposed to be, but blood still filled the man’s mouth. Clearly whatever was happening here was internal, there's nothing Jason could do for him. Before he could ask anyone to call an ambulance- he saw something move at the very back of his throat. Even through the pooling blood, he could tell something wasn’t right- what the hell did he swallow?

His neck bulged as something made its way up- that was good- maybe. Slowly pushing up- whatever it was- caused the man to cry out in pain. He coughed and sputtered as it moved up and up until it pushed past the muscles of his throat and out of his mouth. A hand, clawed- drenched in blood, moving with so much force that a crack sounded through the room as more and more of the form inside him- whatever it was- came out. Breaking his jaw to finally reach out and grab his face- he cried out as pain and panic filled him- he turned to Jason for help as his friends fled but there wasn’t anything Jason could do but sit there in horror as an arm lifted from his broken and mutilated face- he cheeks tearing in as his mouth opened to unnatural length.

The bloody arm clawed at the floor, sharp talon like nails leaving deep wounds in the wood. Jason backed away- fear as well as guilt taking over. The basic instinct that anyone who had even taken the moniker “Robin” knew took over soon after, he needs to call batman- he couldn’t handle whatever this is, not on his own. He reached for his phone right as the candle lit room suddenly went dark. Jason, usually so strong and sure, didn’t know what to do. His communicator clattered to the floor as he stood.

He swore quietly- backing up until he was pressed against the wall- the sound of flesh tearing filled the room- still hot blood splattered across his face.

A soft growl came from the dark, deep and steady and growing closer by the second. Then,as if they had never been out, the candles were re-lit.

A massive beastly thing stood above him, horned and winged- a long tail trailing behind it. Soaked in the blood of the man that was scattered in chunks around the room. Despite knowing that he should definitely be afraid, a man had been ripped from the inside out right in front of him, something somewhere in his mind was saying, “would”. The thought immediately made him cringe at himself- he could not survive that- not only were you massive, you were also very naked. With not one but two just as massive, heavy cocks resting between your legs. He’d die, simply put, torn in half Terrifier style.

“Scared, human?” You asked, voice just as inhuman as your form.

Suddenly unable to find his words, Jason shook his head.

The action made you purr- something was so wrong with this man, not running or screaming, but instead sitting before you, his eyes wandering over your body, face reddened as his heart pounded in his chest.

He didn’t even attempt to move when you reached for him, his breath caught in his throat, but he remained perfectly still as you stroked his hair, then ran the backside of your claws down his cheek. All the way down to his chest, pressing just the tip of your claw in, watching as his shirt quickly became stained with blood.

“Not scared? How brave of you, human. “ You mused, “I require sacrifice.”

“Sacrifice?” he barely managed.

Trailing your claw lower and lower until the point of it rested over the growing bulge in his pants.

“A sacrifice of life is usually offered.” You pressed down, “But, another kind of offering will suffice.”

Jason breathed out- he can’t. Mentally, he could- he’s done all kinds of weird shit, fucking a demon wouldn’t even come close to the worse things he done- it doesn’t even reach top ten with the rest of his family’s track record for weird shit. But physically, that would kill him. One alone would shatter his pelvis and probably paralyze him- two would just straight up kill him. And you really didn’t seem like the kind of demon to go half way- you did come all the way from hell after all.

The obvious thing to do was to say no and call a fucking exorcist- but Jason didn’t do that, instead he speaks, so sure and steady as he spoke-

“Can you shrink?”

The entirety of your form became, your horns no longer scraped the ceiling, but you were still massive above Jason. You didn’t make it easy for him- pressing him into the floor with one clawed hand gripping his hair tightly, knees pressed into the hard wood and legs spread wide open, his cock- which you decided needed to remain untouched for the “sacrifice” to be valid.

Labored breathing, gasping and all encompassing sobs filled the room as both of your cock stretched him to the limit every time you thrusted into him- his nearly blunt nails leaving marks in the wooden floor below him.

With his mouth hanging wide open- he begged- muttering a broken “Please-’’ between moans-

You leaned down, pulling him up by his hair- resting inside him before speaking.

“You want more, human?”

Eyes brimmed with tears, feeling far fuller than felt natural- but so good and warm at the exact same time- deep in his stomach all the down to the very tips of his toes, every nerve so very alive.

He nods, shortly and without hesitation.

You grip on his hair loosens, and he sighs in relief as the burning pain in his scalp stops.

Only to flair up in his hips as you dig your claws into them, literally. Piercing through skin and drawing blood that slid over his skin and pooled beneath him on the floor. Jason, ever the masochist, only gets louder. With the party outside still raging on, you're sure the sound blended into the background- and any attendee lucky enough to have heard the high, whiny moans was listening far too hard.

Thrusting became painful, hard slamming- both cocks abusing his prostate with unnatural accuracy. Pulling out until the tips of your cock were just barely inside of him- then pressing back in so hard his entire body was pushed forward.

Jason’s mind was loud and incoherent - incomplete thoughts running through his head, cut short by either pain or pleasure every single time.

His body spammed unwillingly, muscles tightening and releasing, his hole tightened around you in an attempt to suck you in more- even if more would cause so so many problems for the man.

“So greedy,” you hummed in his ear, and you take cock so well.”

He didn’t respond, he couldn’t, overwhelmed and obsessed with the feeling. His orgasm- the first of many snuck up on him, his body overstimulated and oversensitive as hot, white cum shot straight onto the floor.

He gasped for air as though he’d been held under water- his body burned as he clenched around you- pleasure gone- replaced by what could only be described as fire destroying him from the inside out. He cried out in pain, his body writhes and contorts- and yet he never asks you to stop.

You grinned, “so cute, I might just have to keep you, human.”

You weren’t far behind him, cum seeping from both of your tips as you buried yourself deep inside him- it only added to the burning. Filling him so much until his hole, still plugged with your cock, leaks it back out. Down his legs and onto the floor, mixing with his own puddle of cum. You watched him for a long moment, letting him grit his teeth and cry at the pain, before showing your newest pet a bit of mercy and pulling out.

His body slouched onto the floor the moment you leg go. Jason was on the verge of passing out, eyes barely open, covered in blood, sweat, and cum. He has a high pain tolerance and his stamina was through the roof- but fucking hell he was so tired, and everything hurt, from his over used knees, to his damn near broken hole, and the small wounds your claws had made- coupled with an over bearing overstimulation making everything ten times worse- Jason, without question, was never doing this again.

—--- A couple weeks later—---

Dick realized that Jason wasn’t a party person, but for him to just disappear (and possibly kill someone at the party??? What the hell Jay???) for weeks seemed to be a bit of an overreaction.

But when he walked into the manor, happy as can be, after just being gone for three weeks, Dick knew something was very wrong- or very unusual- was happening.

“I had a date.” Was Jason’s only response, as he leaned heavily against the back of a chair, but never actually sat down in it.

“A date?!” Dick is so glad he questioned him in private. “With who?”

Jason shrugged, “met a guy at the party.”

“Jason you just dropped off of the face of the Earth with some guy for nearly a month?!”

Dick didn’t realize how literal that was- Hell has some pretty nice residential areas, it turns out.

“I was having fun.”

Jason, of course, was never going to tell Dick what he has really been doing- or what he will continue to be doing for the foreseeable future- but it was fun watching him freak out at every vague answer he gave.

The mark (brand?? Tattoo??) on his back still felt weird, sensitive from its spot hidden under his clothes, but how else would other demon, humans, and every other sentient being know that he was yours.

(a/n 2: AND I KNOW ITS LATE BUT I STILL FINISHED IT WITHIN A REASONABLE TIME SO EVERYBODY SHUT UP/j)

[florexyy]

𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈 𝓂ℯ - ni-ki

pairing: "enemy"!ni-ki x fem!reader

warning: profanity, gossip and rumors the rest is pretty fluffy(?)

wc: 971

a/n: This is a oneshot and has nothing to do with my actual story, but while youre here might as well check it out <3

᯽ 1 Year ago᯽

The hallway filled with whispers, a low murmur of gossip snaking through them. Ni-ki leaned casually against the lockers, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched his handiwork unfold. He had planted the seed, and now, he just had to sit back and enjoy the show.

Y/Ns footsteps were hurried as she walked toward her locker, sensing the odd stares and mumbled conversations surrounding her. She could feel the weight of something unseen pressing down on her, making her stomach turn with unease.

“Y/N!” a sharp voice called out, cutting through the noise of the corridor. A girl, Lee Chae-won, stormed toward her, her expression twisted with anger. Students began to gather, drawn to the girls loud shout.

Y/N barely had time to react before Chae-won was in her face. “So its true, huh? Youve been running your mouth about me? Spreading lies to make yourself look better?”

Y/Ns brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, dont play dumb,” Chae-won spat, folding her arms across her chest. “I know youve been fucking telling people I throw myself at every guy i see”

Y/Ns heart pounded. “I never said anything like that”

A chuckle broke through the tension, and both girls turned to see Ni-ki, his eyes filled with amusement. He pushed off the lockers and inched closer, his voice laced with mock innocence. “Oh? But I couldve sworn I heard Y/N saying something like that the other day.”

Chae-won clenched her fists. “So you admit it?”

“I didnt say anything like that!” Y/N insisted, glaring at Ni-ki. “Hes twisting my words, who even are you? You obsessed with me or something?” Y/N looked him up and down

Ni-ki shrugged, faking a thoughtful expression. “Hmmm… Maybe I misunderstood, but thats not what I heard. And, well, you know how people talk. But hey, if Y/Ns calling me a liar, I guess thats a whole different problem, isnt it?”

Chae-wons eyes blazed with fury. “I shouldve known you were fake this whole time,” she hissed, stepping closer to Y/N. “Youve always been jealous, havent you? Always trying to make yourself the victim.”

Y/N opened her mouth to protest, but before she could, Ni-ki leaned in toward Chae-won and whispered just loud enough for people to hear “If I were you, I wouldnt let that slide” He grinned looking in her direction.

That was all it took. Chae-won shoved Y/N back, and the gasps of the crowd grew louder. Y/N barely managed to catch herself before she stumbled, anger rising in her chest. She had done nothing wrong, but now, because of Ni-kis lies, she was about to be dragged into a fight she never wanted.

Ni-ki grinned, his heart racing with excitement. Drama was his favorite game to play, and right now, he was winning.

Y/N glanced in his direction, giving him a furious look.

"ive never heard your dumb name before, but something about you already annoys me thats for sure."

᯽ And ever since that day, Ni-ki would try to make Y/Ns life miserable

᯽Present Day᯽

The school hallways were buzzing with the usual pre-class chaos lockers slamming, students laughing, sneakers squeaking against the floor, reminding her of the incident a year ago, she hated Ni-ki for what hes done, and yet here she was thinking about him. But for Y/N, all of that faded into background noise the moment she saw him walking towards her with that annoyingly smug expression on his face, the one she hated the most.

Ni-ki. The bane of her existence. The guy who made it his lifes mission to get on her nerves. The one who could piss her off with just a glance.

She rolled her eyes, already preparing for whatever snarky comment he had ready for today. But when he stopped in front of her, he shoved his hands into his pockets gritting his teeth, he didn't smirk. Instead, he stared at her, a little too serious.

Y/N sighed, ready for whatever he had prepared, "What do you need, Ni-ki"

His eyes wandered to the lockers behind her, refusing to look at her.

"What?" Y/N asked impatiently.

"I fell for you." He suddenly blurted out.

Y/N blinked, shocked for a slight second, stunned into silence for a moment before letting out a sharp laugh. "Yeah, right. And pigs just flew past the window. Try again."

Ni-ki sighed dramatically, tilting his head, still avoiding her face. "Im serious. I like you. I have for a while."

Y/N could see the embarrassment on his face.

She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, really? And this realization just hit you today? Right before class? In the middle of the busiest hallway?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah.. I guess i just had to finally tell you."

Y/N scoffed, crossing her arms. The whole thing had bullshit written all over it. She glanced around, and just as she expected, a few of Ni-kis friends were lurking near the lockers, peeking over like middle schoolers spying on their crushes.

Bingo.

Her gaze wandered back to him, an idea forming in her head. If he was going to play a game, shed make sure he lost.

"Okay, if youre so serious about liking me..." she leaned in slightly, challenging, "then kiss me."

Ni-ki visibly stiffened. "What?"

She shrugged, knowing he wouldnt do it, and whatever plan he plotted with his friends would fail. "Kiss me. If you really fell for me, this shouldnt be a problem, right."

He hesitated. "But you dont even want me to kiss you. You just want me to do it so I can prove it to you."

She tilted her head. "So? Go ahead, i dont believe you."

His jaw clenched, and she could practically see the gears turning in his head. He had two choices: back out and admit it was a bet, or actually go through with it, and get the money his friend promised him. He knew she was onto him.

Ni-ki glanced back at his friends, gulping. Watching them hold back their laughter.

He sighed.

And before she could even process it, his lips were on hers.

It wasnt rushed or sloppy. It was firm, confident- like he wasnt just doing it for the bet anymore. His hand found her waist, pulling her just a little closer, and suddenly, her heart was racing for reasons she hadnt planned for.

Her eyes widened, her thoughts racing, he actually did it. She expected everything but this.

When he pulled away, there was a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. But before she could even process what had just happened, he stepped back, clearing his throat. "There. Proved it."

Y/N was still in shock. She blinked up at him, her lips tingling. "You actually-"

"Yeah. See you in class," he cut in quickly before turning on his heel and walking off, his ears tinted red.

Y/N stood frozen, watching him disappear into the crowd. She swallowed hard.

Her fingers brushed over her lips.

Shit.

Maybe she had just lost the game instead...

[laudanum-and-arsenic]

WHY THE LONG FACE?

drawn: 15/01/25

oh patheticstat how i love you

hi!! im not dead!! sorry. school has been kicking my ASS and i may or may not be in an art block rn. this drawing was me dipping my toes back into it. its been a while since ive drawn something i like lol but hes such a cutie pie. i just love when men are pathetic wet cats yk. okay bye lol

[roodles03]

The Art of Alastor's Expressions: An Analysis by an Profressional Cartoon Artist and Current Animation Student

This is not related to TOH but I wanted to bring this up because the art how they animate Alastor's facial expressions deeply fanisnates and heavily impresses me. And also because I'm an animation nut and I am currently in animation school and I heavily appreciate the art of animation.

In Dad Beat Dad, during the scene where Husk confronts Alastor about Mimzy, directly after when Husk says, "You've been gone a while, and it's not like anyone knows why," there is exactly THREE frames where Alastor's pupils turn into dials as he eyes away. (Being most noticable on the first)

Now I gurantee since Husk was talking, there was a good amount of viewers focusing on him as the focal point, over Alastor, despite this shot being from Alastor's POV. Meaning a lot of people probably missed Alastor even eyeing away at all on their first viewing. But this is noticable on a rewatch and if you just focus on Alastor as the focal point.

But I have never seen anyone point out that his pupils actually turn into dials here. And you definitely wouldn't even notice UNLESS you spefically paused on one of those three frames. To give you an idea of how truly fast these frames go by, typical 2D animation runs at 24 fps. These three frames only last 20 milliseconds together. And since the detail is so tiny it is nearly impossible to notice when the shot is running normally at 24 fps. Its even hard to notice if you pause on these three frames because this detail is so small.

Whoever animated this added this detail despite the fact nearly no one would notice just to truly show Alastor losing his compsure. And as one of my animation profressors said "Every detail in animation is intentional since you create everything from nothing," (Unless it is an animation error) And as someone who is currently in a hand drawn 2D animation class, yeah, you spend a while on every single frame, knowing its only gonna be shown for a few milliseconds and the overwhelming majority of people will never notice or even care to notice. But You can slip in tiny details like this that add an incredible amount of insight to the very slim margin of people who will dissect your animation looking for details, or even just looking for funny inbetween frames or animation errors and they happen to discover a cool detail you left.

Back on the topic of Alastor. People have noticed that often Alastor's eyes give away how he's truly feeling through the mask of the smile he puts on. And they're absolutely right. But ive never seen anyone talk about this moment.

And in these brief three frames he loses his compsure for just a BRIEF moment upon being reminded of his deal. In fact, look at his expression in both the key frames right before these three inbetween/extreme frames

Overwhelmingly confident after he says "Who in their right mind would cross me?"

Doubtful of Husk after he says "You've been gone a while"

Losing his compsure when Husk reminds him of his deal after he says "And it's not like anyone knows why,"

Then puts on his classic mask, with that look in his eyes completely gone, saying "They don't need to know," (about why he was gone)

It's incredible how much three frames of showing Alastor losing his compsure adds to his character and this scene.

Also, This is not the only time where Alastor has an expression where it's clear that his deal is some sort of trigger to him, either. (Outside his verse in Finale which is obvious) Just look at these frames when Zestial simply comments that he's be gone for a while and there were rumors that he fell to holy arms

(wasn't able to include the other frame of his eyes going side to side damn you tumblr)

He also clearly looks away from Zestial as well, avoiding eye contact or even facing him when Zestial questions why he's been gone, indirectly reminding Alastor of his deal.

I love these such tiny details about Alastor. Its clear he is often hiding so much behind his smile. And since I can't add more pictures (thanks tumblr), I cannot even go into the two frames where he actually does frown, or another two frames where it's up for debate if he frowns. But I feel like there's more to say here where his eyes give away everything despite his smile, even if its just for a few frames, rather then the four frames where its either up for debate if he is frowning or he is clearly frowning.

I also want to mention that accomplishing expressions like like this is incredibly hard. Drawing is hard. Animating is even harder And despite expressions being my strong point, expressions are still hard as hell.

Most and sometimes all parts of the face go into making the right expression. Eyes, eyebrows and the mouth are the main factors, but you can even use the nose for extereme negative emotions (often used for extreme anger, hysterical ugly crying, or intense disgust. Hazbin actually does this for Alastor in one shot to my memory When Carmilla says she wasn't wondering where Alastor has been for the past 7 years) And depending on the character design, you can also even use their ears (positive emotions they perk up, and negative emotions they flatten. Most commonly seen in characters with animal ears but humanoid characters with pointed human-like ears can do this too. Like the witches from The Owl House for example the use of Ears also apply to Alastor when he experiences EXTREME negative emotions... Or Susan)

But when you take away a major part of the face, mainly eyes or the mouth, making the proper expressions becomes a lot harder. But it is possible. think Let Me Explain Studios or character's with hair covering both or even one eye. But Alastor is the only case I've seen where he actually does have ALL the facial features for expressions available, (including ears which is not common!) BUT one of them is actively working against the others parts of the expression, which is the fact that he is REQUIRED to smile. That means you must always draw him smiling, in every single frame, but try and use his other features (mainly his eyes and sometimes his nose or ears) to try and hint at his true emotions. Take a moment to think how HARD that is. That is insane.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my Ted talk about Alastor and his emotions lmao.

[futurama]

OK so finally after however long it's been I'm doing this sorry lol!!

I love characters like lil Hal So much. the ones that get discarded/neglected. something about that loneliness is so fun to explore, especially in Hal's case. the horror n despair of being a normal person and then one day waking up in what equates to a sensory deprivation tank with nothing else to do but talk to your lifelong friends who suddenly don't even view you as a person with thoughts and feelings anymore, but more as an obstacle or plaything. it's so fucked and it's Sooooo good. I honestly don't know how he kept it together while enduring all of that.

During my first read through of homestuck I had to pause just so I could go on a rant when dirk called him something along the lines of a shitty experiment that turned into a monster. Like, dude.. he's not a monster, he's YOU. (moot point because those two things are synonymous to dirk lmao). but for real... he's you, from when you were 13!! of course he's going to be irritating and fuck things up, especially when being irritating and fucking things up is all he has to do. I know it's because of dirks' self loathing that he treats Hal the way he does, he's basically a walking, so to peak (lol), reminder of everything he hates about himself, and a guilt-free target for dirk to take all of his shit out on, because it's not like hal can actually feel anything, right? (and if he Could, would it even make a difference?) oughhhh. but, I honestly can't entirely blame dirk for feeling the way he did about Hal because I don't know if the average person could stand having their 13 y/o self around for very long.

This is where things start getting fuzzy for me about Hal, I can't remember many specifics on the conversations he had with everyone, but I vaguely recall Hal just kinda.. not really fighting back against his situation for the most part?(aside from insisting on getting a body so he could gtfo and do something else) like, he knew how everyone felt about him, he Definitely knew that dirk hated him, but he never seemed to be mad about it, never seemed to be mad about his situation, or at least he didn't show it. I was kind of surprised he didn't go the whole Evil Robot trope route, because he'd have been totally justified in doing that. If anything, he probably felt like he must've deserved it in some way (he's still dirk after all), and I think that on top of still genuinely caring for his friends (Sob) is probably what kept him from flipping his lid. I could definitely be misremembering things though. I can't remember if dirk always hated himself or if that kinda developed as the comic went on. Maybe Hal was just a chill guy who didn't GAF lawl.

most of what I've said here just feels like conjecture based entirely on fuzzy recollections, I didn't do any research for this.... I definitely need to reread HS!!!! anyways LIL HAL!!! Love him. I feel so bad for him and deserved way better than what he ended up with. I was so hyped when I thought he finally gonna get a body, and then my blood drained from my face when I saw that shitass sprite silhouette in the back of the panel. well, at least he was happy..... :(

no no its ok… yes. yes ive been waiting for this. thank you for getting back to me with your thoughts on lil hals character, i always think its nice to sit down and reflect on your favorites every now and again lest we lose sight of what makes them important in our own eyes ^_^ its also been an eensy weensy handful of years since ive last reread homestuck so i totally get it. im sure id have a lot more to say about hal and dirks relationship if it were fresh in my brains but im running on memory and nostalgia at the time being… oh well!

ive for sure been drawn to hal since being introduced to him all those years ago, but i think a lot of people are typically drawn to the doppelganger of our favorite guys as theyre born unto us with an inferiority complex! theres nothing better than loving and maybe even idolizing a character and then finding out they have a lame, pitiful copy living in their shadow. enticing and relatable. now that i type it out its fun to think that there are plenty of homestuck characters with that specific sort of complex but ESPECIALLY the striders. hal and davesprite are copies of guys who are copies of guys (who are copies of guys…) they really have the worst of it i think!

i dont believe dirk is a monster though, i think that he just has a lot of stuff that is very hard for him to work out on his own though he only wants to do it on his own. i just dont think he trusts anyone else to help fix the gripes he has with himself but in turn isolates himself from that potential comfort and connection that is shared with talking to other humans. i think having hal, a reminder not only of his own existence but his past existence sitting on his face at all times was a really bad idea. in hindsight. i wish i could have told him not to do that, but at the same time its really fun to see him get really mad *blushes*

me personally i read the rooftop conversation between dirk and hal as dirk coming to terms with the fact that he does not actually want to kill himself and is ok with moving on from the person he used to be in turn allowing hal to grow as his own character and move on from the perma presence of his better self, or at least that would have been the case if he weren't thrown into a sprite with equius and left to be a nothing character alongside davepetasprite <--PERSONAL OPINION

anyway its fun to type about hal and co with you :) its always a treat to draw him even though i dont fuck with homestuck anymore but thats because ive adopted him as my son and roommate and brother and pet. i love drawing him and always will

[kickasscentral]

"Oh! right, Its that time of the year again.. "

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!! i havent actually drawn a full of card for him in SO LONG

it genuinely feels like its been forever since ive drawn him like this

heres the concept art+ a little doodle lol

...i didnt know your supposed to make the letter on the jacket correspond to their birthdate until after i finished the first sketch 😭

thanks to d-oie for the dividers!!

ALSO SHORT SH!TTY ONESHOT BE UPON YE

The 4th of June. Reeses birthday. Reese knew he was supposed to be happy as he was surrounded by his friends, everybody celebrating his birth, but he just… couldn't. he was stuck thinking about one thing… his sister, Tessa.

He couldn't stop thinking about her, and how much he missed her despite the fact he felt he shouldn't, at all. he felt couldn't stay there any longer, so he tried leaving. out the door, through the hall ways and in the courtyard as he walked to the mirror rooms to return to his dorm room, where he could wallow in pity in peace, but before he walked into the mirror room a shout interrupted him.

"REESE!!!" Kalim shouted "WAIT FOR ME!!!" he said as he ran to Reese, while he braced himself for contact. Kalim hug-tackled Reese to the floor "well where are you going silly? the parties not done yet!" Kalim said with a hint of confusion in his voice. "Kalim…could you give me some room please?" Reese said quietly. "Oh! of course!" Kalim sat up and sat on the floor so Reese could move, where he followed the other boys movement, the two sitting in front of each other. "Phew…" Reese sighed in relief. "Now, you still haven't answered my question!" Kalim exclaimed "The parties not over yet! so why are you over here??" Kalim tilted his head a little, as if to signify his confusion.

"I just…" Reese hesitated a little "…my sister" "hm?" Kalim said, even more confused than before "You mean Tessa? I thought you stopped talking to her??" "I did!" Reese exclaimed "I think thats the problem…"

"Ohhhhh!" Kalim said seemingly reaching an epiphany "Your brains doing the thing where you cant stop thinking about someone when your mad at them, right?" Reese shrugged a bit as he said "That seems about right…"

"Its always SUUUuuuper annoying when that happens isn't it? The last time I was mad at one of my siblings I felt like I was going insane!!" Kalim Exclaimed "It was like, 'oohh they would love this!' or 'They'd look great in this!' Y'know?" Kalim giggled to himself. "heh… yeah" Reese said, genuinely grinning a bit before his face dropped again "… Hey, Kailm?" Reese looked at Kalim "is it ok to miss bad people? even if they've hurt you…"

"Well of course silly!" Kalim said "…really?" Reese said, sounding a little shocked "I mean, we're people y'know? we're supposed to miss people! if you didn't I think it would actually be more concerning" Kalim explained to Reese, while leaning foward "your allowed to miss people, even if they've hurt you, aslong as you don't let them hurt you again, alright?"

Reese stared at Kalim, seemingly shocked by his response. Reese's slightly crossed brown eyes started to become teary, as he started crying a bit. "Wait! no! I didn't mean to make you cry!!" Kalim said, panicked. Kalim wrapped Reese in a warm hug in the hopes it would cheer him up.

After a few minutes, Reese broke away from the hug, snifflying "Thank you Kalim… I really needed that" Reese said "Glad to help!!" Kalim exclaimed as he stood up and extended a hand to Reese "You wanna go back to the party?"

Reese took his hand, and as he rose up he said "yeah… I would like that"

and so the two walked back to the party for a night of fun and excitement.

[top10bigchungus]

found some older (2-4 years old) art that for once i dont feel like throwing up when seeing. havent drawn in a while and ive defo kinda forgotton how 2 draw like i tried doing some simple sketches but all of them were uhm shit.

starting off with some honkai (impact) drawings (sorry for being a gachaslop fan, childhood and autism were not kind to me) idk what order theyre showing up so i maybe will add like a description or whatevs if u wanna know like some thought processes type shit

BRO there was one cute but wonky sakura that DIDNT SEND (wifi so bad here i couldnt upload from mobile i had to email these to myself and then download to upload cuz idfk what happened) but oh well sorry my goat sakura

anyways we move onto the masa works design shit (god was not kind), im posting these more seperate because i was actually somewhat creative that summer a few years ago. heres uguisu baita (slapper of a song), i really liked the concept of being able to pick up the drawing to move it around kinda in the style of the pv so i went through actual effort for this ( and the next peice). i dyed the back piece of paper using tea bags (im a tea drinker britain has influenced me), and then drew the drawings on a paper which i then cut out to their sillhoette. even if its not much and the drawings are kinda ass i LOVE the concept i really did have joy seeing these so fuck yeah i defo would do shit like this again

and here mentalism maria, done in the same style as above. i once again REALLY REALLY REALLY love this one like these were so fun to make, didnt finish the concept unfortunately (as seen in pic 2) but putting all the chains n shit on the paper was super fun. process was the same but i tried to draw the background (its dogshit), idk what the random pieces of paper wouldve been for but theyre there ig

last of the masa shit, any comments on individual drawings r made on them, aside from the ban nen one. this was going to be the third fanwork in the style of the prev 2 but with the shards seen in the image of the pv standing out (now that i think about it the random extra papers on mentalism maria were probably for that) but i never finished it past the drawing. really like the face of it though

and finally, miscallenous. i think the first one was enstars i drew for my friend but i lowkey dunno thats my guess, second im guessing was an oc/persona kinda deal (i dont look like that i look worse) and im fr not sure what was going on i cannot tell you tf its actually meant to be

n e ways you could probably find a lot of my older shit floating around since i was severely terminally online a few years ago (i wouldnt be surprised if the 5 year anni of me quitting being terminally online spontaneously is this year but i actually erased a lot of that shit from my mind) it was not a good time for me though and ive grown a lot since those times so please never really bring that shit up please and thank you and good bye i know all of it looks ass but what can i say im just an ass artist

[horizon-verizon]

Was the Velaryon family also black in the books?

because I've seen some fans of the show accuse artist or even fanarts of being racist just because they decide to draw/portray the Velaryon being white according to the book canon version, despite the fact there is no description of their skin color.

No, they were not. They were white. Corlys, Laena, and Laenor would have been described as such through darker-dark skin color if so, just as Nettles and the Summer Islanders and Missandei all were at one point or another, but they are not.

(The Dornish are not PoCs, they are "spicy whites", [refer to image below of GRRM's reply ato a fan abt race in ASoIaF and adaptions] and THIS POST I made).

Ryan point blank said that he/they made the Valyrians black for the diversity count and that it was an advantage to have it "obvious" Rhaenyra had kids who weren't Laenor's.

GRRM said he wished he could have made the Valyrians darker skinned. Which tells us that they canonically, typically, are not PoCs/Black.

Not all canon Valyrian/descendants are pale-skinned OR white (Nettles, Bellegere Otherys' kids by Aegon IV, Baelor Breakspear [Baelor was not canonically PoC, again, at least he cannot be transferred as the modern def of "poc"]), but the Valyrians are a majority pale-skinned and white in both pre/post Conquest Planetos history.

Of course, it's always possible that some artists choose to ONLY portray bk versions of the Velaryons BECAUSE the bk/orig/canon Velaryons are white...but that doesn't mean ALL artists who refuse to draw HotD characters/actors do so bc they are racist, bc HotD characters =/= to their F&B orig counterparts in terms of characterization or appearance. Sometimes it's because they hate the costumes or simply don't like HotD's story, how they treat actors, etc. Or they simply make so much more F&B/ASOIAF content than the TV adaptations bc they prefer the orig story and characters.

fkaluis on tumblr/fkadaeneyrs on Twitter was one who first made only art based on strictly what existed for Rhaenyra and the others pre-HotD; Rhaenyra especially nearly never is drawn in her HotD costumes...bc HotD really dialed back on her extravagance. But fkaluis has also seemingly decided to do more "merges" of HotD and F&B/ASOIAF but upgrade HotD to resemble more F&B/ASOIAF-familiar imagery with original elements in their work. Laena Velaryon, Rhaena of Pentos, and Baela is Black in many, many of their work, but they never wear the HotD costumes. They also love drawing Black Baela/Rhaena is what their book!selves were described as having worn or imagined given what other canon art shows for Rhaenyra.

Examples [order: rhaena, jocelyn baratheon, rhaenyra, laena x rhaenyra, laena x daemon, rhaenyra x laenor, baela x jacaerys, rhaena, baela, baela, laena, HotD young rhaenyra in upgraded and mod version of show costume in epi 4, and finally hotD older Rhaenyra in upgraded and mod version of show costume in epi 8, finally Aegon III w/Daenaera Velaryon]:

See how all the Valyrians/Velaryons/Targs also have purple eyes in his work, while the show doesn't? And Daenaera canonically is described as having skin as pale "as snow":

Rhaena and Baela had "fine features", which is code for European white in most white-written (90s and older, but you still see it now) literature....as well as here, to distinguish them from the Velaryon boys' "snub" noses:

Laenor, too ("aquiline"):

And the two Rhaenyra art piece beside the Aegon III x Daenaera showcase modifications of HotD costumes and hair on face/bodies of Milly and Emma.

Of course PoCs and Black people can have "fine" features (more prominent nose bridges, thinner lips, etc.), but in Western literature today, as well as for a long time since the late Mid Ages, white people tend to not describe white people's skin unless its to really emphasize their beauty through paleness, describe how it's transitioning to something else through the flow/nonflow of blood, etc. Everyone else, to make it clear they aren't white, were/are ALWAYS told to have olive (even here, debatable), brown, dark skin...unless they want to say they've (white people who've tanned OR darker skinned or South/Med EU-coded white people) tanned then it gets confusing for PoC/Black readers. Then you'd need other clues like the features and how people in the world treat them, even if it seems innocuous or positive.

Which means people have got to do a little investigating or light inquiry to the artist if they can if they really want to discover that the artists is racist.

[ivanttakethis]

Post Row 5 [Pt. 1] - Tov’s Log

————————————————————

Tov woke up in the hospital.

Again.

Same room layout.

Same smell of antiseptic.

Same IV needle.

Same heart monitor beeping.

The sense of deja vu was strong enough to make her dizzy.

Fleeting vestiges of Himei’s warm smile slipped through Tov’s fingers like sand.

Despite the IV feeding into her left arm, her right arm stung like she’d been burned.

She groaned.

“Welcome back to the world of the living.”

Wren was sitting at her bedside, just as she was before, grey eyes studying her face in anticipation. Her face mask was white again.

“Heart attack?” Tov rasped.

Is there really a need to ask?

“Yep, right on stage.” Wren nodded. “It happened before you could be shot. Though this one was worse than the last. We almost lost you for a second there.”

Tov furrowed her brow, “Lost me? What do you mean?”

“You died. Technically. But only for a little while.”

Because that makes it so much less traumatizing.

Tov resisted rolling her eyes. Truthfully, she should be grateful to have the chance to roll them at all.

“So what now? Are they going to make me compete again?” She asked.

“Nope!” Wren clapped her hands together, pleased. “The Alien Stage contract states that contestants who die are removed from the competition. Since you technically died, you were removed. So you can’t be forced to participate again.”

“A legal loophole.” She muttered under her breath.

The gears in Tov’s head were working overtime, fighting against the sedatives she’d been given to try to make sense of everything.

She couldn’t believe it.

A heart attack had killed her and saved her life all at once.

She was reborn.

She was free.

Tov would laugh if her ribs didn’t ache.

“I never thought I’d feel lucky to have a heart attack.” She said. “I guess I shouldn’t have doubted your good luck charm.”

Wren’s tone sharpened. “Yeah, it served both of its purposes well.”

The fine hairs on the back of Tov’s neck stood on end, “I… don’t follow.”

“Well, while the ring is a good luck charm, it’s also an electronic device that can be remotely controlled. So when you lost your round, I sent an electric shock through the ring.” She said.

Tov blinked. Once.

Twice.

What the fuck?

Her heart rate spiked, the monitor she was hooked up to started beeping faster. “Y-You caused my heart attack? You shocked me into cardiac arrest?!”

“Yep.”

“I’ve been wearing that ring since I got out of the hospital after my first heart attack. You’re telling me you could’ve shocked me any time between now and then?”

Wren nodded once, completely unfazed by Tov’s change in demeanor. “If you’d lost to Akane or Jae, I would’ve done it sooner.”

What the fuck?!

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want you to die.” Wren said, like what she did was a completely normal solution to the problem.

“But—” Tov groaned in frustration, her chest heaving from short breaths. “But why me? Why would you do all of this for me?” She asked. “We don’t know each other well. We’re barely even friends. It doesn’t make any sense!”

“It makes perfect sense,” Wren said, calmly removing her mask, “Because I’m your twin sister.”

She pulled the cloth away from her face revealing a nose very similar to Tov’s own, with a broad scar across the bridge, and an identically shaped mouth drawn up in a smile.

Tov reeled back, struck by the glaring similarities. Alarm bells rang loud in her head.

Not possible.

That’s not possible.

It must be a coincidence.

It has to be.

“H-How are you so sure?”

Wren’s smile shifted slightly before she pressed two fingers against her eyes and removed contact lenses.

Grey contact lenses.

The ones Tov always thought looked off.

And she found herself staring into dark brown eyes, with slightly misshapen white stars in their irises.

A mirror image of her own.

WHAT THE FUCK??!?

Her heart slammed against her chest, punching the air out of her lungs, hard enough to make her physically wince.

She couldn’t breathe.

No.

No no no no no no no.

I don’t have any biological family.

I don’t have a sister.

Flor was the closest thing I ever had to a sister and she’s dead.

I’m an only child.

I was alone when Cassio adopted me.

Why is this happening?

How is this happening?

Tov gripped her bedsheets until her knuckles turned white.

It felt like her world was tilting again.

Sharp and sudden.

Disorienting.

A wave of nausea rolled through her.

“This whole time… Have you known this whole time?” She could taste bile on her tongue as she spoke.

“I always knew I had a sister, but I’ve known you were my sister for a long time now.” Wren said.

Tov looked up at her… sister? Twin? She didn’t know anymore. “How long?”

“The first time I saw your face was when I was ten. It was on a billboard downtown. I knew from your eyes.” She said. “It’s been thirteen years since then.”

“Fourteen,” Tov said, reflexively. “We’re 24 now, so it’s been fourteen years.”

“About that, we’re actually 23.”

Tov frowned, confused, “But my teeth were—”

“Growth-dated?” Wren finished for her. “Mine were too, probably around the same time as yours. The results placed my age at 3.45 human years old, and my age was rounded down to 3 years old.” She said. “I’m guessing, your results came out to 3.5 after rounding, and then you were rounded up to the whole number age of 4 years old; a rounding error on their part. Otherwise we would’ve been in the Season 40 class together.”

She stared blankly at Wren.

Blinked.

Struggled to process what she’d just heard.

A rounding error?

My life is the way that it is… because of a rounding error?

It all felt so trivial.

By the mark of a different pen 20 years ago, Tov would’ve never met Himei, or Tallis, or Nyx, or Moran, or Dian, or Flor.

She would’ve never come to love or care for or lose any of them.

Tov wouldn’t even be the same person.

Her temples throbbed.

She was so distracted by the new flare of pain that she didn’t hear the door swing open and slam shut, or the pairs of footsteps quickly approaching the side of her bed opposite of Wren.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” A deep voice snapped.

Tov lifted her head and her vision went fuzzy for a moment before focusing on Elias’s face.

He was angry. Furious, even.

She could see it in his eyes and the tight pinch between his eyebrows and the sharp, downward curve of his mouth.

There was a wild emotion simmering just below the surface of his skin, barely held at bay by the strict and obedient frame of a soldier.

But his anger wasn’t directed at Tov.

It was directed at Wren.

She didn’t seem phased by him at all, “What are you talking about?”

Elias scoffed and dug into the pocket of his jacket, tossing whatever he found inside at Wren.

She caught it midair with a lazy, outstretched hand, without looking away from Elias staring her down.

“Oh,” Wren said, “You found my good luck charm.”

The shock ring. Tov thought.

Only now did she realize she wasn’t wearing it anymore.

“Cut the bullshit, Wren. I know what the ring did. You are so fucking lucky I found it first. What were you thinking?!”

“I was saving Tov.” Wren said plainly.

“You could’ve killed her!” Elias hissed. “Her heart stopped. Prem and I had to keep it beating manually until we got a pulse back.”

Tov tore her eyes away from the growing volatility of the back and forth to look behind Elias.

Prem was there too, almost as pissed off. His arms were crossed, jaw set, eyes narrowed and glaring daggers at Wren.

“She would’ve died for sure if I’d done nothing.” Wren countered, voice scarily even despite the subject matter. “At least this way she had a chance of surviving, and we didn’t have to watch her take a bullet to the head.”

We?

Hang on—

“How do you guys know each other?” Tov asked.

Despite not raising her voice, or even speaking at her usual volume, Elias and Wren immediately stopped to give her their full attention.

Like a fire smothered in foam, the tension between them fizzled out.

They both looked at her with gentler gazes and softened edges.

It felt oddly familiar.

Elias sighed and ran a hand down his face, “Tov, meet your benefactor.” He said, nodding to Wren.

Wren gave her a half smile, “Surprise.”

…

..

.

What?

————————————————————

So yeah, Wren is a little fucked up, actually. She’s a very “the ends justify the means” type girl, even if the means are like,, morally questionable.

But that’s just how she was raised. You’ll learn more about that next time!

Also, note the wording used in the letter Tov’s benefactor (Wren) wrote to her in the Before Round 30 log:

“We will meet at the End of Round 30,” instead of “When you win Round 30,” because if Tov survived her heart attack, Wren was going to “meet her” as her twin regardless of if she won or lost.

Shoutout to @rockwgooglyeyes who guessed that the information leakers (Elias and Prem) were linked to Wren a while back.

I had a good chuckle reading your tags with my narrator knowledge 😁

[midnight---hollow]

I spent an entire day on this and i feel you can tell based off how some bits are rushed. I wanted to make this before i play the update and learn whats gonna happen to capitano. Ive been struggling with what may or may not happen to this set of pixels and this is me using my oc i tied heavily to him as a means to almost tell myself its ok. (Under is ranting but no spoilers or leaks) ANYWAYS HAPPY NEW YEARS ^^

I hope i made capitano in character, he doesnt speak much but i tried to make him fit how i see him (a big hearted man of honor… that will do fucked up stuff for a good reason). If my pens didnt all die and i was forced to switch up programs i so would of made his face more scared and fucked up im sorry capitano fans its not rotten enough i know 😭

Esfir is iffy in this because this is specifically her after a LONG while of character development to the point where she can act like this (but in general she isnt like this)

I already made the decision to pull esfir from genshin but i will admit im a bit sad about it, i was planing alot of things about her in genshin like animatics and comics. Im still going to do those things and im probably going to make a genshin au but i feel genshins story telling is so… different than the story i want to tell. I hate having to change my story to fit into genshins especially since so much or her story isnt even related to the main plot. I love the game but im so tired and esfirs story is genuinely so important to me and i dont want to half ass it to fit into genshins story. It just sucks right when i was planning all my animatics and the order i wanted to make them in and the comics is when i learn what might happen in game. Her first genuine appearance is her last one and its not even a main thing tied to her its something i threw together last second

I had to switch the platform i was on in the coloring and editing phase cus all three of my drawing pens died which is why the last two photos are drawn differently, its not as rendered as i wanted but i just wanted this done before the update. Ill have time for au stuff and to work on esfir now separate project on a later date.

[lewdssyum]

Lucifer in labor possibly? <33

mama birds <3 its been a While since ive drawn them so sorry if their faces look off😭

[soundleer]

Which game series do you like more?

PMD or Miitopia?

oh fuck that's a good question- hope you don't mind me rambling lol

explorers of sky was my first exposure to pokemon and has been around in my childhood somewhere in 2009 and that game subconsciously made me learn the concept of therian/otherkin... but i got miitopia in 2018 and the face-stealing machanic influenced my artstyle so heavily that without it i wouldn't have drawn anything the way i do then and now

pitting these two together based on which i like more is kinda difficult since they're both on the same game genre but i guess ill give my biases

story? gameplay? pmd (as a series)

customizations? character designs? miitopia (3DS and switch remake)

nostalgia? with all the information i give out in this post, its self-explanatory that i have huge connections with pmd even if ive only played the first two entries.

fandom? ive never involved myself in pmd community and i used to be the face of miitopia community up till 2023. while i stray away from miitopia (as a fandom, not as a game) nowadays, i guess there's the answer.

final verdict?

im struggling to give a definitive answer of which game i like more when i have connections with both of them in different ways. if i have to rank the two, id prioritize gameplay as the main determining factor—therefore, pmd goes above miitopia. however when it comes to ocs, ive had mii ocs that existed for longer which would make miitopia go above pmd.

BUT imma throw in what i like more now that i thought long and hard on it. ill give that to.....

PMD!!

i still love miitopia for its own influences on me but there's your answer hyee!!

[calritchie21]

4

at the sight of her opening eyes, aryne and john’s shoulders sag in relief, tears of relief accumulating in their eyes. meanwhile matthew, still posted by the door, stood frozen, unsure if his desperate mind was playing tricks on him.

after a few beats, matthew let out a soft “baby,” voice hesitant in asking. and while he didn’t get a verbal answer, the hum he got in an affirmative tone made sobs of relief bubble in his chest. “baby,” he said again, voice a lot more sure. yet again, no verbal response, but this time her eyes were drawn towards matthew, a sleepy, still half-drugged up grin making its way to her face.

yet before he could make a move towards her bedside, the door came bursting open, dr.smith, nurse johnston, and another professional the three people in the room (bar bear and bug) didn’t know rushing in the room.

upon seeing bear awake and conscious on the bed, smiles overtook their faces. “hello ms.tavares, glad to have you back with us. do you know what happened?”

bear noticeably gulped, pausing, and then gestured towards her throat.

matthew, an expert at reading his girlfriend, states, “she needs water, her throats too dry.” at his words, nurse johnston’s eyes widened, uttering, “oh, right,” before quickly shoving a glass of water in bear’s direction.

after bear had a few sips, she gained a thigh full look on her face, before replying, “i remember making another drink and then sitting on the couch in the suite. after that, everything is dark.”

“you said another drink. about how many did you drink?” dr.smith questions, wanting to ensure the assumption they had made about her alcohol intake was correct.

“three- but my second one might has well have been two. i went a little heavy,” bear stated. her statement made the unknown medical professional’s presence light up, instantly writing down notes on his clipboard.

“and just for assistance purposes, please state your full name, where you live, your parents and siblings names, and what your father’s occupation is,” dr.smith inquires, the unknown male seemingly awaiting bear’s responses eagerly.

“my name’s barret aryne tavares, i live in toronto, my dad’s name is john, my mom’s name is aryne, my siblings are axton, jace and bug. and my dad plays hockey for the maple leafs,” bear responds with ease.

at her responses, the man quietly converses with dr.smith, before making his way out of the room. “that was dr.allar- he’s one of the neurology specialists on site. he was just in here to monitor you for any immediate signs of memory issues. however, you aced it. he’ll likely drop in one more time before you leave, but otherwise you shouldn’t see him,” nurse johnston pipes up from her place beside dr.smith.

“may i ask for your names? i would know them, but i was kinda unconscious when we first met,” bear joked, being met with silence from her parents and matty, even bug giving her a little look. on the other hand, dr.smith and nurse johnston let controlled smiles bleed onto their faces.

“i’m nurse johnston, and i administered your hemodialysis treatment. this is dr.smith, and she’s overseeing your case,” nurse johnston replied, tone giving the effect this wasn’t the first time she gave an introductory like that.

dr.smith spoke now, from her place next to bear’s vital machine. “your vitals look very improved. we were able to take you off hemodialysis in about. 10 minutes. you’ve been on fluids ever since. however we’re going to start you on an iv, to help lower your BAC, and also remove any traces of your medication that still may be interacting with the alcohol. but after tonight, as long as everything looks good tomorrow morning, we should be able to discharge you,” and with that, she gestured towards nurse johnston, who took that as her que to take a few quick steps towards the floating desk connected to her iv, and made quick work to prepare another one to go into her arm.

once she was done preparing the iv, dr.smith took a step back to give nurse

johnston some room, who made quick work to prepare any area on her vein, she took one glance towards bear, as well as matty who had taken refuge in a chair directly on this other side during this interaction and said, “you may want something to hold on to. patients sometimes feel various levels of discomfort,” and at her words, matthew’s hand found a home on the arm rest of her hospital bed, and bear’s hand wandered up the rest to grasp his. at the minimal connection, they both let small grins make their way on to their faces.

seeing bear grasp kniesy’s hand, nurse johnston quickly inserted the iv, and bear gripped matty’s hand a little harder, before letting go once the discomforting feeling was over with.

“well you look to be set. nurse johnston will probably come back before night fall to change your iv if your BAC hasn’t lowered. however in the morning, you should be good to go, and should be discharged by 11am,” dr.smith chirped, and then glanced at nurse johnston, and gestured for the other woman to follow her.

once the door shut behind the two women, it was as if the silence became a thousand times heavier.

best glanced nervously between her parents, who were sat in chairs close to the door, and her boyfriend sat next to her, and then quickly broke eye contact once she locked eyes with matthew, and resorted to glueing her eyes to the hand in her lap with two iv’s attached.

finally, matthew had enough, and he broke. “what were you thinking bear? that was so stupid. i get aryne usually reads your meds and their requirements to you, but why wouldn’t you do it yourself? and i know i like to read them off to you as you take them, but do you understand how utterly stupid you were today? had you made another one, you could’ve died bear! you could’ve died…” his voice broke towards the end as he trailed off, phone grasped limply in his hand, with a google search of, “how much alcohol can mix with prescription drugs before you die?”

the longer his rant went on, the faster tears fell from bears eyes. she knows she was stupid- at least now. and all she wanted to do was get to the arena quicker. that’s it. she didn’t mean anything by it.

at her thought process, she quietly spoke up, “i just wanted to get to the arena quicker. i know i was taking forever to get ready, so i just grabbed my pills and took them before we left. i swear i would’ve read them. i should’ve read them…,” her voice broke now, distressed by the amount of worry she knows she caused the people in the room, and probably many more.

at the thought of other people, her head whipped up, distress taking over, “where are the boys? are they okay? did they have to see me like this?” she asked in a panicked manner. her daughters distress made aryne remember she had never gotten an answer from john in the lobby about the boys, and her head turned quickly to him.

“mitch and steph got them home. steph said she remembered their night time routine, and me and matty jumped at the opportunity to get here faster,” john’s voice spoke up in a soothing manner, bringing a hand to grasp his wife’s, and making eye contact with his oldest.

unexpectedly, the door creaked open, nurse johnston peaking her head in. “i went to go search for a blanket, as most hemodialysis patients, along with people with multiple iv’s usually complain of the chills. however it looks like we’re running short, so i apologize,” and she quickly flashed a smile and shut the door again.

once again, as she shut the door, silence overtook the room.

finally john spoke up, with a sleeping bug in his arms. “im going to hand you bug, and me and mom are going to run to the restroom, grab a few snacks and drinks to bring back here, and then i think we’re going to head out. mom’s about to join bug in lala land,” he joked towards the end, raising the hand attached to his wife’s, and promptly shaking her out of her sleep filled haze.

and doing as he said he said he would, he adjusted bug into the crook of her big sisters neck and took a step back to ensure she stayed asleep. at the loss of weight, john shook his arm out, and then questioned, ”what snacks do you guys want?”

both young adults in the room answered harmoniously, “cheetos and blue gatorade,” and then shyly glanced towards eachother, before looking away.

the adults in the room smiled at one another, reminiscent of how they sued to be. after their rapid reminiscing, they quickly made their way to the door, shutting it softly behind them.

at their absence, matthew looked towards bear, and simply took her in. he was so thankful she was alive. and in reality- he didn’t mean what he said earlier. he was just scared of the idea that he possibly could’ve had to continue on in life without her.

“i’m sorry for how i said what i said earlier baby,” matty paused, ensuring bear’s attention was on him. “it’s everything i wanted to say, but in the wrong way. today just scared the shit out of me bear. it made me realize just how quickly things can happen that can change your life. i; at this point in time, have no clue how i’d go on without you,” at the conclusion of his emotional confession, bear was worked to tears.

“oh baby, no don’t cry i-“ bear cut him off quickly, “please kiss me idiot. you don’t just tell me you can’t live without and don’t give me a little kiss,” she jokingly spoke, quickly leaning up to meet him in the middle.

however in the middle of their lip-lock, the door cracked open agan, john and aryne coming back through the door.

aryne spoke up jokingly to break their embrace, “just because we finally let you two have the door shut doesn’t mean you jump in her bed,” aryne teased the knies boy, coming close to the boy and messing with his hair.

once she neared matthew, she set their snacks on the bed, and then reached for her babygirl, who had begun just barely waking up.

when she had bug securely in her arms, she made her way to stand by john at the door, both parents turning around one last time before they departed.

“bear, we’re happy you’re okay. mom’s gotta run the boys to school, so i’ll drop by in the morning to sign you out. we called off morning skate before we left, so we’ll probably just head home after,” john spoke with the confidence of a leader.

“anyway,” aryne chirped up after her husband, “goodnight to the both of you. we love you guys, sleep tight!”

and with that, the tavares parents, along with the littlest tavares, were out the door.

once it was just matthew and barrett in the room, there was a long pause. but then suddenly, bear spoke up in between her now chattering teeth.

“fuck did they- they turn the temp down in here?” bear questioned, arms covered in goosebumps.

at her reaction, matthew got up to check the temperature first, before answering, “no babe- its only 67 in here. are you okay?” he questioned, concern building in his chest for his girl.

that concern was suddenly washed away when he remembered what nurse johnston had poked her head in about earlier. “they said you’d get cold baby- but they don’t have any blankets. what do you want me to do?” he questioned, placing his warm hands on her arms in an effort to help warm her up.

“please cuddle with me”, bear said rapidly, grasping matty’s arm with the hand closest to him.

“your like a heater at night bubba, and you should do the trick,” she spoke in a mix of seriousness and teasing.

matty took her statement at face value. “alright, then move over, and i’ll lay on your right,” matthew said, as he got up to lay down in his usual place beside bear.

just as he went to lay down though, bear got a timid look on her face. “you- ah- you usually don’t wear a shirt at night bubba. can you uh- take it off now?” she questioned, prepared to say it was a joke depending on his reaction.

at her question though, he simply reached for the bottom of his shirt, and yanked it off of his body, showcasing his athletic build.

“even in a hospital bed you just want to see me naked,” he teased, before laying down next to his girl and getting comfortable.

with her one good hand, bear jokingly hit his shoulder. “nuh-uh,” she said in childish manner. “you’re just warmer this way, that’s why,” she said, a grin on her face alluding to a different meaning.

after their teasing interaction, matty got bear settled in his chest, her head laying on his heart to listen to the rhythmic beat. the duo went silent, before bear spoke up in a tone of voice that showed just how worn out she really was. “thank you for loving me matty, regardless of how stupid the decisions i sometimes make are, the girl said while tilting her head to look her boyfriend in the eyes.

quickly he responded, “baby, i wouldn’t have you any other way. let’s not make this a weekly thing though, okay?” at his teasing words, bear nodded her head and said, “agreed. i’m a little tired of it too ya know,” making the duo for some reason break out into sleep deprived giggles.

“in all seriousness, i love you to the moon matthew knies,” bear said after the fact, all remnants of joking gone. “and i love you to the stars barrett tavares,” and with their loving words, the couple locked lips one more time for a kiss that said everything they couldn’t.

once bear finally lays her head back on matty’s bare chest, a few beats of silence pass.

“hey ba-“ he attempts, before quickly realizing she was asleep. with that realization, he slowly angled his head down to place one more kiss on her hairline, and then wrapped one of his arms securely around his girl to keep her safe where she belonged- with him.

the next morning, nurse johnston opens the door quietly to begin making patient rounds, and smiles at the sight of the two lovesick teenagers embracing eachother.

she could come back later- they could use the rest.

IM SOBBING

this is so good

i love you gray

[domokunrainbowkinz]

probably my last manhwa post of the year eheheh.....

titles discussed:

don't mess with the pooch! (18+)

dear zero (18+)

the count's secret maid

night of muheun (18+)

when the third wheel strikes back

regas

don't mess with the pooch! (18+): I'm always biased towards asshole MC's who will not hesitate to throw hands...these hands are rated E for Everyone...the ML is also the exact flavour of unhinged that I like to read about. the tone is very lighthearted and I do feel there were certain scenes that felt too unserious in tone. I ended up binging the novel it's based on and I feel the manhwa doesn't do a great job in conveying the tone or character thoughts in certain scenes (like that scene where chiyoung turns into his true form for the first time, in the novel they make it very clear its a terrifying experience for heeseong but in the manhwa it has like a slightly comedic tone which idk it was weird dude). overall the novel was a pretty fun read, I classify this as "junk food bl" bc it is very "turn off your brain and just go with the Vibes" kinda read. I also do love bitches with separation anxiety heheheh...I will be reading the manhwa tho bc I like the art and they made chiyoung very pretty...I am not immune to prettily drawn men

dear zero (18+): I s2g ive said something about this one but I guess not...anyways it's by bwat so I already knew going in I would like it. it was also my intro to guideverse, which I had No Idea existed before this. the story seems like it's being told as a confession tape by the MC in the future, and I am so curious to see how the story progresses!!! the story starts with the main pairing's first meeting, and then immediately after it jumps to a point into the future where they make it very clear Something happened, bc the ML wiped his own memories and is in cryo sleep, while the MC had to retire early bc of a permanent leg injury. the ML also has the power to manipulate other ppl's memories, so we can't even fully trust what the MC remembers about the ML. they're just starting to remember bits and pieces of what actually happened in recent chapters and I'm so looking forward to see how this all unfolds. I love me some stories told in retrograde that deal with unreliable memories ohohohoho

the count's secret maid: this one is promising so far, only 17 chapters out for the manhwa and I'm already gnawing at the walls for the next update. It's based off a completed novel (which I am planning to read lol) and all the reviews say its a banger so I have a good feeling about this one. even just based on the manhwa chapters, I already love the way the character interactions are written. both the FL and ML are traumatized and have their own issues, and it seems like the story is about how they help each other heal and move on. the FL is a poor peasant who had been abused since birth and called ugly/hideous, she's extremely sensitive about her face to the point where she refuses to look anyone in the eye bc she's learned that everyone recoils in disgust when they look at her. the ML is a count who went blind after a poisoning, and refuses to leave his room after several assassination attempts bc he's become afraid and fearful of everything due to the attempts and also the fact he cannot see. their interactions are so fun to read and there are also some beautiful scenes that had me going "oh they're Cooking cooking". anyways I really really hope this one won't let me down like some other romance manhwa that have started out promising only to peter out once the main pairing gets established 💀

night of muheun (18+): I ended up dropping this one bc I didn't like the ML. he comes off as very wishy-washy and there wasn't really anything compelling enough in the story to draw me in. the MC has a childhood crush on the ML and like. idk man. I don't like the way the ML treats the MC...he's keeping a lot of secrets and treats him like a bit like a clueless kid, I just don't see a compelling romance between the 2. maybe I will pick this back up in the future since it is my favourite genre (modern-day supernatural / ghost hunting romance) but like. I got more and better things to read lol

when the third wheel strikes back: I read s1 of this manhwa like months ago and idk why I never talked about it...anyways I haven't read s2 bc I heard from novel readers that it skips over some events and isn't a super great adaptation, so I'm planning to read the novel instead lol. despite that though I really enjoyed s1, it had a lot of funny moments and also many moments that made me go 🤨🏳️‍🌈 like I could not believe this isn't a romance novel. my one gripe is that I thought there would be more emphasis on like the worldbuilding, the power system, and maybe we'd see Jesse train his skills as a priest but every single time they say they're training they just end up drinking tea and eating biscuits 😭 GURL I WANNA SEE YOU DO MAGIC....I know it's not the emphasis or main focus of the story (the emphasis is on The Polycule which I loooooove don't get me wrong) but I personally like a good balance between these elements. I might just end up picking up the manhwa again bc atp I got so many webnovels on my tbr that are at least 150+ chapters long, my brain capacity is gonna be at max. anyways for the orv-ers who liked the yoohankim scenes during the kaizenix arc. I would read this bc it's giving fantasy yhk LOL (except jesse/yeseo is the polar opposite of kdj he knows Nothing about the novel he got transmigrated into except that he's gonna die, and thru some wacky shenanigans he somehow ends up in a polycule with the 2 ppl he was supposed to avoid. c'est la vie 😌)

regas: I also read this a while back and even read a good chunk of the novel it's based on, but I just never continued it 🧍‍♀️ I think it presents a pretty interesting concept, basically a fantasy world where the rulers have dragon blood and bc it causes them to eventually go mad, they require a tamer, called a "regas", to help soothe them and retain their sanity. except that as time went on, the surrounding court becomes corrupted and eventually chips away at the king's power by feeding them poison and training up regas that are pretty to look at, but would not be functionally uself / able to handle an essentially humanoid dragon. I actually thought the politics were quite interesting, and the rship between the MC and ML is quite sweet but sad. the MC starts off as like a big burly guy who was properly trained as a regas who can handle wild beasts, and he was brought in to tame the young prince who was born with particularly strong blood, so he's been chained up and abused bc no one can handle him. some ppl are really iffy on the age difference (bc the way the first part is depicted, it almost seems like a parent / older guardian raising their ward) but I didn't mind it?? something about the devotion and affection of a powerful being directed at the 1 person who showed them love and kindness makes me go AWOOGA!!!! the most heartbreaking thing about this story is the MC ends up dying and reincarnating into the body of a frail and pretty twink 😭 THEY TWINKIFIED MY BEAR....I'm still so sad about that. I think I may pick this manhwa back up in the future, tbh I think I stopped bc I felt a bit burned out by reading too much manhwa in a short amount of time lol