#its been like. over 2 months since i finished something lmao

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

tag from @babyrdie and @greekmythologylover234 .

been a lot of tag games recently huh! thanks for remembering me 🤣

9 people you want to know better

i don't know enough people on here, but i'll be tagging @amnesiaa-on-ice @akhillaous @whorewhouse @naurumii @elnbnt @peggy-sue-reads-a-book

here are the questions to copy-paste:

three ships

first ship

last song

last tv show

currently reading

currently watching

currently eating

currently craving

my answers to them are under the cut so only those who are interested will be reading it (because i'll be yapping) lol

three ships

- patrochilles (duh; probably going to be my favorite, if i'm honest)

- kavetham (admits this semi-shamefully because the rest of the fandom is ass-- but i've left it. glad i did because the recent toxic community will never do me any good. i stressed, i die. simple. was a huge hyperfixation for a year or so though.)

- vashwood (it's been a while, but i really got obsessed with them and the show. watched 1997 once, stampede 3 times, not inclusive of the scattered episodes)

first ship

tbh no idea. it may or may not be solomon and saya from blood+ (great show great show) but i was around 7 when this happened and was just tagging along with whatever my sister had to say about things like these? i'm not a super shippy person either-- i'm not big on these things and certainly a lot less when i was younger. didn't have a lot of interest in couples prolly bc i had no idea what difference it had with friendship. just that you kiss and fuck or something. and i thought that was weird, or well, nothing much to it.

i guess you could say that the first pairing i've ever wanted to defend was zuko and katara from ATLA 🤣 nowadays i understand mai and zuko's relationship and i think it's pretty sweet, but back then i was fixated on zutara chemistry so whee🕺

last song

i haven't been playing music recently since i've been over at my partner's, but "done for" from epic the musical has been playing in my head since i woke up so there's that lol

last tv show

we were looking through netflix for an "easy" show to watch for dinner and got through 2 episodes of the exploding kittens show 🤣 played the game a lot when we got it, plus fond memories of things that happened whilst prompted us to check it out. it's an american tv show i guess, and i've never really vibed with those so it was alright, i guess. the kitties were cute.

currently reading

nothing. finished madeline miller's circe 3 days ago or so, though. my odyssey reading has been suspended for 2 weeks now but i guess it's because i'm pretty much kept up on the plot from randomly reading shit about it on the internet? i'm generally more of a "how did the story go?" person when i get into a book unless i become super obsessed with it. then, i'll dive into the nuances of text and its analysis. which hasn't been happening recently. i'll probably be balls-deep in academic text soon considering i haven't been a good student (our research adviser told us to start doing our thesis papers over the summer holiday so the process will be smoother... guess i'll be disappointing the prof who actually likes me ✊)

currently watching

nothing. finished castlevania (as well as the released season of nocturne) last month and i think that's my quota for shows for a while lol.

currently eating

fast food because the rain started pouring so hard. in time for lunch or so. it was a sign from the lord to spend and have a good time because the world might end tomorrow or something.

currently craving

the other items on the menu i didn't order- kidding lmao. a calzone for some reason, as well as a fizzy drink i usually get from a local cafe run by a nice old lady and youth on the drinks. ok, now i want her pesto sandwich.

ight i'll just eat now brb

[jademickian]

oh man, haven't done tag games in a while, sorry friends 🥹 i've been passive the last few weeks because uni is really taking most of my time and energy, but i appreciate the tags and i love love reading your answers<3

ok enough blabbering, thank u @callivich, @lingy910y, and @mickeysgaymom for the totally optional, fun gallavich questions tag!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

Stuck at Three for Days - delicious banter, laughed my ass off

another kiss is all it takes - so fuckin sweet, dude

Like Real People Do - just finished my reread last month:)) i needed the comfort

Cooperative Gameplay - currently rereading! i miss the feels

Sometimes I reread bits and pieces from ORFNSP and since we're alone because they changed my brain chemistry. I will eventually get around to actually rereading them.

2. What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

You know the one... this legendary world heritage gifset

3. What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

not sure if this is counted but i always like to think that once, ian got struck with grief about monica's death on her death anniversary. mickey asks him what's wrong and he opens up about it. ian will say it's stupid but mickey will truly handle it with grace and say nah man it's not. because yahknow, he gets it. and ian melts at it, because no one has acknowledged his grief like this before. mickey teases him about it a bit, sure, but deep down he held ian's mourning warmly, like petals on his palm. and they went together to the cemetery that day, simply sat in front of her grave and talked. the good things, the bad. and that despite it all "hey, tleast she popped out an alien lookin mfer i ended up marryin." they get pizza after.

4. What’s a fanart you love looking at?

Van kiss by @lingy910y

Prince Mononoke by @darthvaders-wife

Prison Boyfriends by @gallavichonly

Part of Our World by @steorie

It's Okay by WhatsaMattavich

This Kiss by @deathclassic

SO MANY others actually if i could fit them all here

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

i actually have a LIST lmao. one of those has something to do with art because i cannot take my mind away from human mickey and manananggal ian (manananggal is a Philippine myth creature with wings and can separate the upper half of its body from its lower half).

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

oh man. believe it or not, i was never into fics. i was in fandoms before, but i just couldn't get into fics within those fandoms (i tried). this is the only time i truly liked and LOVED reading fics. it really speaks volumes about the talent and dedication, and i'm glad i got to experience it.

it's also fun reading metas on the show and getting different perspectives, especially on characters. one of my favorites (just because i was so distressed about it the first time i watched it) are analyses on the city hall scene and ian's hesitation on marriage. after reading up others' thoughts on it explaining the why's, i totally felt some relief and was able to get some sleep. lol

7. What’s an underrated trope or concept you’d like to see more of?

apocalypse aus 👍

8. What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

The first five seasons are gems to me. but i truly love season 2 because it's so chill (at least compared to some of the heavier seasons after) and the gallaghers move as a unit. special mention for season 4 because it holds Emily and Lazarus.

9. What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

same qualms with @mickeysgaymom about mickey's mom. brain rotting over it.

10. What scene or moment do you feel isn’t discussed enough?

not gallavich related, and i'm sure people have already mentioned it, but sometimes it hits me how smart debbie is. like, i know she's smart, but people easily forget from all the chaos. at the heart of it, she's a fast learner and also would and have excelled academically.

11. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

aaaa @lingy910y beat me to it! it's totally "I'll take care of you. / It's rotten work. / Not to me. Not if it's you." but if i could pick another, maybe "I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world."

12. What do you think is next for Ian and Mickey post-finale?

they'll grow old together and be just as in love, no matter what happens in between.

tagging @mybrainismelted, @scurvgirl, and @lupeloto if u wanna join!! raahh

[andromedadoesntwrite]

Twenty Questions: Fic Author Edition

Thank you @bodyelectric77 for tagging me! I always love participating in these fun things. I am quite new to fanfic though (two months more or less) so I'll do my best to answer as much as I can <3

1-How many works do you have on ao3?

2

2-What's your total AO3 word count?

23,538 words

3-What fandoms do you write for?

The Hunger Games. But I'm not closed to maybe writing for others.

4-What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Cold Coffee

Fated From The Start

I've only published two atm :)

5-Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yesyesyesyes

I absolutely love comments. No matter how long they are I appreciate them so much. To know that people read my stuff AND that they like it AND wanna let me know, it completely makes my day. So I try to answer all of them, even if its just to say thank you. I especially love when the commenter references a specific part of the fic that they liked or made them laugh. It hits a spot.

6-What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhhh.

at the moment I don't have any out. None of my fics have ended lmao. But something may or may not be in the works. Idk, not sure yet.

7-What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

once again, none of my fics have ended but I think Fated From The Start's will be the happiest.

8-Do you get hate on fics?

No at the moment, no. But if I keep writing its possible I will. But we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.

9-Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Nope. Not really my strong suit or focus when writing. I've written a few suggestive scenes but nothing too intense or graphic. It's very difficult to write good smut so kudos to all writers who do.

10-Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and hoping it stays that way lmao

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13-Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No

14-What's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly Everlark. I really like both characters individually and think they're ship is pretty fitting. But if you had asked 12 year old me, she would've said Marshal lee from Adventure Time and me.

15-What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

There's a piece about Katniss not liking Peeta back till they were much older and both married sitting in my drafts buuuut I don't think I'll ever get to finishing it.

16-What are your writing strengths?

I actually don't know lmao. At least I'm not sure when it comes to fics. But I've been told I'm good at evoking emotion when it comes to sadness in other pieces I've written. I guess I still have to develop them.

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

I can get impatient quickly, leading me to sometimes not expand on something at first and just quickly writing it out. It sucks. And in the end slows me down even more. Since I have to come back and write things over. So a lot of times my descriptions fall short. It cringes me out when I read something back that I wrote in a hurry.

18-Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would love to. I'm actually trilingual but Spanish is my first language so I'd love to write a fic in it. I think some things are just better written in Spanish, at least for me. Maybe one day I'll include it in one of the fics.

19-First fandom you wrote for?

The Hunger Games

20-Favorite fic you've ever written?

Fated From The Start! It's the one I spend more time in.

This was super fun and I'm tagging @thelettersfromnoone should they choose to do it, and anyone else who sees this since the rest of my mutuals have been tagged <3

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Dead Plate (Part 2)

OK so its been a month since the last time ive played Dead Plate and uhh oops!! my bad !!

in my defense life has gotten very busy for me especially since its the holidays but now i finally have the time to finish this game and get at least one ending!! (hopefully)

spoilers under the cut

back to day 5 where i struggled so incredibly hard

the amount of times ive played through day 4's nightmare sequence is killing me

bro. how do i pass this level without losing a customer

NOOO I WAS SO CLOSE WHYYY. PLEASE. literally i was doing so well but i took too long for the 4 table orders ugh <//3

i wish you could see like, a patience meter for the customers or something

maybe i should try using the item that slows down how impatient they get

YESSS FINALLY!!! I DID IT I FINALLY DID IT!!

what is that weird squelching sound.

still here even though the shift is over and the sounds i am hearing are concerning to say the least

what if... i just leave ok i cant leave

boss's office? also i just noticed the timer ticking down uhh

can i just leave please why is the timer ticking down wtf do i do???

also lots of interesting things in that office

was the review on the waiter about Rody? if so ouch man thats harsh

NOOOOO OH MY GOD...... I ACCIDENTALLY QUIT I HAVE TO DO DAY 5 ALL OVER AGAIN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

ok well. at least now i know my key to success is the cologne

ok so Rody had an interesting reaction to the crumpled up picture of Vince and a woman so maybe he knows who she is? is this the 'her' that you can sorta not really call on the telephone??? or is he just surprised to find love letters in the trash

anyways its telling me the sounds are coming from the freezer but idk where to go from here

LMAO the sound signalling the end of the day jumpscared me askhjdakj

at least the food looks tasty

what was that whole thing about tho? what was going on in the freezer??

back home, looked out the window and i noticed you can see someone's silhouette in the background windows

i dont know if that was always there and i just missed it but very interesting

FINALLY a new nightmare

bro he was in an oven?? why ?? damn Rody's nightmares are like really creepy akladjalks

another day another dollar

damn. im gonna struggle once again because there is a LOT of customers and like i am just sooo. ksfdjslkdj whatevr kakayanin !! lets go guys

my hands are so sweaty akladh

another successful day and another tasty dish ....my fingers hurt LMAO

looked out the window and yep alright the person's silhouette isnt always there

huh. interesting nightmare it was Vince eating him and like damn that actually scared me lskjd

shorter than previous nightmares

well onto day 7 another day another dollar

lets go!! i am winning!!! only had to retry once this day!!

BROSKI JUST QUIT?!?!?

ohhh so the woman is named Manon

aww i feel so bad for this guy :(( the girl isnt picking up i wonder why tho? like does she just not like him anymore and he just needs to give up on her or is it cuz of smth w Vince (shes probably the girl from the crumpled photo in the trash right?)

damn the phone just ringing while the credits are playing

ouch :((

alright then time to get the other endings!! to do this i will be following the ending guide bc my brain is not big enough to figure it out by myself lmao

ive opened up the official ending guide and oho? you can actually get a phone call from Manon? cool i will try that out first

restarting all the way to day 1 bc i miss how easy it was

yk an interesting thing that was introduced in the tutorial that i havent experienced yet is the customers asking questions

oh hey!! i kept the stuff that i purchased in my previous run?? really?? awesomeee

ooh hey!! i kept the dishes from previous runs too!! cool

ok its day 3 now and i have to take out the trash to activate the cutscene

ok went through that whole baffling ordeal of getting slapped

also!! i chatted with Vince on day 3 and like. idk their chats are just funny to me

also like there might be something wrong with me but i am lowkey shipping Rody and Vincent together kadjlksd this is something that happened in Elevator Hitch where i started lowkey shipping the two main characters oopsies

anyways!! moving swiftly onwards!!

um. my guy disappeared after i checked the fridge

oh shit new cutscene

BRO ??? UM ????? well that was scary uhh. damn

oh the boss isnt in the kitchen anymore wait i didnt get to do all the dialogue options that are needed!! no!! does this mean i need to redo this whole day in order to get the phone call event???

better safe than sorry i guess

ok so interestingly when Rody asked Vince if he liked his job, he didnt answer the question he just changed the subject and made fun of Rody LOL

the 'can you give me a raise' question gives some more details on Manon and what Rody thinks of her (he is a grade A simp bro)

the 'are you single' question is interesting to me just bc Rody the simp has issues w Vince being like 'meh' on romance and tbh im with Vince on romance not being the end-all-be-all

THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT A STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE

IS IT CUZ I FED THE RAT CHEESE INSTEAD OF SCARING IT AWAY OR SMTH???

EW ITS IN THE FRIDGE AND THE REAL ONE I HAD BEFORE IS GONE NOOOOOOO

Vince: I haven't got any sense of taste. Rody: Yeah I could see the decorations out there-

LMFAOOO RODYYY

bro now i am sad that i missed out on these gold interactions between them on my first run this is so funny

also they both didnt really have any proper answers for what their favorite food is Vince was like 'eh i dont have any since i cant taste stuff idk lemons or smth' while Rody was like 'i just like whatever my girlfriend likes'

very interesting how Rody is like obsessed(?) with Manon

then when asking Vince what he's reading, he just straight-up lies about what the reviews are saying about Rody lmfaoooo

anyways now for the creepy night restaurant segment and going back in Vince's office to check out the possible Manon love letters in the trash

i just realized the croque madames are like. rotten cuz they have flies flying around it which ew! yuck! why is it like that

well. nothing i can do about it so next day i guess!! oh hey wait i can now afford the matches which i will be needing for ending 3! nice

OK NOW I HAVE REACHED THE PHONE CALL

damn ok so its not Manon but its Vince inviting Rody to a dinner party!! nice !!

LMFAOOOO HE INVITED RODY TO MAKE HIM WORK VINCE I CANT BELIEVE YOU!!

Rody you are so embarrassing but its ok bc ur really funny anyways!! getting interesting lore on Vince and Rody!!

one of Rody's old classmates was there, and then another guest said that either Vince must really like Rody to have him there at the party or is incredibly desperate akldskl (since she said that Rody's outfit sucks LOL)

ooh ok so. Rody is desperate and a bit delusional my bro u gotta let go of that girl bc apparently she dumped you already so like. stop bro

dkjhskas nooo ive served all the guests and theres nothing left to do except snoop around in Vincent's bedroom agh!! agh!!!!!

bro when i go in the room the music just disappears wtf

UM? HELLO??? BRO THAT SCARED ME DSKJKSDJ

i knew this was going to happenn aughjahkj

BRO THE MUSIC IS JUST GONE AJKSDFK not Rody asking what happened like he didnt just steal smth from Vince and pretty much get caught in the act 😭😭😭

well ok then so that happened

actually you know, now that im thinking about it, its kinda weird that Vince threw Manon's letters in the trash does that mean she is pursuing him romantically but he like just doesnt care or what??

i am inside and i am afraid cuz the game asked 'are you sure?' when i clicked 'go inside' broooo

oh hey its Manon and Rody WAIT WHY IS THIS LOCKET IN HERE ?? DID VINCE KILL HER ??

ASKHDKAS OH FUCKK OH NO

bro thats so like. sadistic leaving him tied up and telling him he can live if he runs away but like he can only crawl across the floor

i see why the matches are needed for this part

gee wow thanks game

ok now this time im bringing the matches with me

ok so ive burned away the ropes but im still trapped inside cuz he locked the freezer aghhh

what the heck do i do?? oh nvm i found bags of flour, i can use these to reach the cooler

so i have to stop the fans of the cooler, probably by putting something in it

can i take the saw out?? oh wait theres a switch LOL

ok so ive use the saw to cut the meat off and now ive got animal bones

ive jammed the bones in the fans and now i can break open the window wow

SHIT GOT CAUGHT BY VINCE

DID HE JUST BITE A PIECE OF MY FLESH?!??!

oh my god. he killed and cooked her to feed to Rody i. wHY???

oh so he ate Rody's ear i am shook wtf

bro Rody just severely pissed this guy off by telling him he never ate his food i feel it in my bones also makes sense why its just sitting in his fridge

Rody really hitting this guy where it hurts damn i mean its deserved cuz of like the whole thing

i accidentally got ending 4 since i messed up a QTE but damn. damn that was wild and also this is gross

something i didnt mention earlier but i noticed that there was a grilled hanger steak on the table, which is the dish when you get ending 1 would the other dishes i got in past endings show up when i got them? but i got ending 2 and the dish from that didnt show up so maybe its just a little detail for ending 1 wait was the steak made out of Manon. oh boy that makes that ending a lil more fucked up

ok going back to the chase sequence

BRO RODY JUST KILLED HIM

so i went into Vince's office, surprisingly did not get chased inside and then i picked up the broken bottle and now Rody's just killed the guy

got the restaurant key

bestie like. theyre gonna arrest u if u just leave and never say anything please explain the situation to the police or smth

why is the game not letting me leave. what do you mean revenge is best served cold. does the game want me to put Vince in the freezer!??!?!

yep the steak is def Manon

why r u not letting me leave wtf do i do

trying to read the comments on the game's page on itch.io and the amount of people going 'when will they kiss' 'kiss ending when' im laughing

like even tho all this horrible shit just happened i still lowkey ship Vince and Rody oopsies. toxic yaoi LOLOLOL

i have no idea what to do now so i am just gonna look up a guide rq

ok i need to get the cooking oil

he's burning this place to the ground

wait was Vince still alive after getting stabbed repeatedly???? his eye moved when Rody was pouring oil on him and i mean the game did say that his eyes are still following you

oh bro after-credits cutscene with Manon???

aww ok my opinion of Manon has greatly improved cuz she broke up w Rody cuz he was destroying himself for her she realized that she wasnt good for him and like, for the greater good of his mental health they cant be together

its burnt and also its lemon, which is what Vince said was his favorite food

OH HEY IT CHANGED

actually i did notice that after ending 3 it was snowy

damn

well, thats the end of my playthrough on Dead Plate

honestly, it was a very fun and enjoyable game! i liked the serving aspect even tho i kinda sucked at it and like i also really liked Rody and Vince despite all that just happened those two are seriously fucked up and i love them LOLOL

the music was really good and made up for having to redo day 5 over and over again alskdjh i was jamming most of the time to the music the art was also really good! i liked how cute the pixel sprites were, and then like the art for the portraits and CGs and everything was also really good! i really enjoyed the art style and music

the story was interesting, and i liked it too the twist was wild and blew my mind but i am still a massive fan of Vincent x Rody JKDAHSDKJ

i like how there was a cannibalism twist but Vincent wasnt actually like, an actual cannibal he was just insane and planning on making Rody an unknowing cannibal

i know he ate Rody's ear but like. he said that he doesnt eat people on the regular so yk he's just fucked up

also its really funny reading all the comments and seeing a lot of Vincent x Rody stuff LMFAOOO so true of everybody honestly

HELP I FOUND A COMMENT THAT SAID THEY NOTICED EVERY PIC WITH VINCE IN IT (on the store page) HAS HIM LOOKING AT RODY LDSJHSFLSDKN THE SHIP IS SO REAL!!!

ok sorry enough of that

overall, 10/10 would play again solely for the server gameplay (would be cool to have a kind of endless mode where you just serve customers until one leaves or something) and also because i love these characters

thats all for today and probably for this month LOL byebye!!

[olivieraa]

In my attempt to do a spoiler-free review...

If I'm being honest... If I could go back in time... I'd tell myself not to watch this anime, which looks crazy since I was freaking out through most of it

Now it ticked lots of boxes before I went into it, but for it to tick even more when the anime already seemed perfect was incredible. So it ticked an extra three boxes. One of the before I watched it moments being that, I literally had only just made a rant about BL and how that label should be removed from animes and like, y'know, let us be surprised if the main character ends up in a same-sex relationship. Don't spoil it with the BL tag. But I'd made the Banana Fish post a month before that rant. I'd listed the Banana Fish genres, already hyped at it being a shoujo, made by a woman, with the delinquent/crime/psychological genres.

1. And so therefore, I did not go into this knowing that... it would end up being a BL. And anyone that tries to deny it was a BL is actually insane. The author could try and tell me this gay as fuck anime wasn't a BL and I wouldn't believe it (whether she has or not idk). Fucking heart emojis coming outta these fuckers eyes whenever they're in the vicinity of each other. I didn't screenshot the majority of it bc I'd too many screenshots. So yeah, this anime basically... did the exact thing I wanted in my rant. It's honestly the weirdest and most perfect timing. Legit shocked at the gay that happened in an anime not labelled as BL. I'm still not over it

2.

Takahiro Kagami was the key animator. The animation director most known for YGO's signature style. YGO at its most beautiful. The guy who created Joey's chin. The animator they called back to animate DSOD and gave Joey his most perfect look

So I learn just before watching this anime that made me think of Joey in the first place, that Joey's key animator was working on this show? Incredible.

3.

Joey's S!0 VA comes in as our main dudes trainer/mentor, who taught him how to fight and shoot. Like, I been comparing him to Joey the whole time and Joey appears?? What sorcery is this??????

So with the boxes out of the way, I'll list the positives outside of that:

Voice acting was fine, but the MC has risen up the ranks for me and this is my second time hearing him as a main character. Before that he was a side character in animes I barely remember. Actually I just finished Starmyu again and I think he was one of the less memorable characters (ok just checked and yes, also he was a little gay in that, he's always gay that's crazy). But he was fantastic, a scene stealer.

The animation was stunning (as expected). And it being set in New York added so much to that appeal. The action scenes... yes.

And for 24 eps it had a decent pace, I had a few days off so just binged it but took a lot of breaks (even tho it may not look like it lmao).

I had some good ass laughs.

Onto the negatives...

Now... this anime is rated an 8.5 and its very popular.

I rated it a 7.

So I decided on the 8 rating about a third of the way into the anime. It had the potential to be higher but... the anime got sloppy and repetitive. Super repetitive. And it drags, quite a bit. But bc of all the positives, I was like "ah... its going downhill a little but I'll still give it an 8."

Then something happened. And I... just couldn't give it that 8 anymore. What happened infuriated me. There's animes that can do what happened well, and I'll be upset but like, get it. Not in this one. I had to pause and breathe for about 3 mins before pressing play again.

Others may rate this anime low due to how triggering it can get. It didn't trigger me in any way but I can see how it could. The MC goes through a lot. I just wanted to protect him.

But uh, yeah. Due to the thing that happened I'd honestly rather have not watched this show. It kinda erased all the joyous, positive things that happened throughout, in a way. Idk. I need more time to sit on it.

Yeah... idk what else to say. I'm in limbo right now

[aphel1on]

tag someone you want to get to know better

tagged by @woobifiedvillain a few days ago and finally remembered to do it!!

Favorite color: Yellow, but not an overwhelming yellow, like that soft warm yellow? I love it. People tend to not expect this answer, I think I give off more of a blue or grey vibe. Honestly a pretty grey/silver is probably my second favorite color, but a buttery yellow is just so good for the soul.

Last song: You Give Love a Bad Name by Bon Jovi. Danced to it in the kitchen, got consumed by the guitar riffs, nearly knocked a chair over. Before this morning it would've been the Genshin OST... I've been listening to it a lot while I write or do chores recently.

Last movie: An exceedingly mediocre romcom on Netflix that I watched with my sick mom to be nice. Genuinely couldn't tell you the title or more than like, two or three plot points. Last movie that I watched bc I wanted to was the Barbie movie, which was genuinely better than I expected. Enjoyable but would still give it, like, a mixed review. I'm not getting into two months' ago Barbie Movie Discourse on this post

Currently watching: I'M STILL TRYING TO FINISH THE UNTAMED!!!! woobifiedvillain i'm speaking directly to you and quoting you: i too am "chronically incapable of paying attention to visual media, even the good shit" and when i try to explain this to people irl they act like i am insane!!! I haven't watched Good Omens season 2 yet even tho I am reblogging posts about it rn. I think it's mostly adhd, or really just a part of the larger Neurodivergence Soup (tm) that makes it nearly impossible for me to learn something from a YouTube video. I mean, sometimes for a hands-on task a video is essential, but can't there be a written list of instructions to go with it too, bc that sticks in my mind way better sobs... ANYWAY i'm currently on episode 43 of The Untamed, so I should be able to finish it by, like. The end of the year at least lol?

Currently reading: I started reading SVSSS recently because, like. The mxtx mania is in full throttle. I just got here a little later than most people lmao. I'm also currently "reading" like seven different books that I bought or pirated this year and have on hold. One of my Unfortunate Skills is bingereading like 200 pages of something in 1-2 days and then not finishing the rest of it for 8 months.

Currently working on: Keep My Shadow Alive, my big xue yang-centric fix it fic!!! Well, more like a fix it, and then break it more, and then eventually actually fix it fic. Starting from the canon divergence of "Add Pre-Teen Xue Yang to the Burial Mounds Fam" and going from there. I read every fic like that that's on ao3 and was still being eaten alive by the brainworms so I started writing my own take on it and ~6 months later it's the longest fic I've ever written and only 25% of the way through its outline???? So. Who knows if it will get finished (my track record is admittedly not great)- but I've had such a blast writing it so far. Xue Yang is just SO fun to write. Yes it has a plot and character arcs and I could even go full English Major* and start telling you about its Themes, but also it's just an excuse to write Xue Yang interacting with every member of the MDZS cast. Going to STOP talking now bc I fully am the type of writer who will get carried away talking about their wips.

*i am not an english major, but spiritually i am an english major.

Current obsession: Yeah uh, MDZS. My friend convinced me to finally read it in January of this year, and the hyperfixation train has simply not stopped since then. Genshin Impact also dragged me back in with the Fontaine update and I've been having a lot of fun playing it. But MDZS is still mostly the thing that's eating up my RAM. Particularly the Yi City crew, but 3zun is rotating in there too. Sometimes even The Man WWX Himself, i talk about him less but i do love him a lot also lol

Tagging: I'm honestly too shy to do this!!! But thank you for tagging me anyway<3

[yakool-foolio]

this is just a loser finding ways to partially vent but my story it's cringe, undeniably funny, and related to Danganronpa in ways So, uh yeah, if you want to read that'd be nice but if not I understand. When I say Danganronpa is the most impactful media I've ever consumed in my entire life I'm not joking.

I got into Danganronpa after GameGrumps played the first game in 2020, when they finished it I loved it so much I went on to watch someone else play Danganronpa 2. At the time my life was pretty awful, I was sort of becoming numb emotionally everything felt the same day after day, and it's stupid, but when Nagito Komaeda made me feel something after feeling so numb during that time I kind of got obsessed. It was so bad not only did I make myself so much lonelier, but I had to research hyper fixations to know I wasn't insane. So you could say Nagito caused me learning and acknowledging i'm autistic! Which sounds like a big impact until you hear the biggest one.

It was 2021 now, I was still obsessing over Nagito Komaeda and the fixation was so bad that I joined the fandom early before playing v3, Danganronpa on the Nintendo Switch was announced and I was eager and excited so I looked up a ton of reactions on Youtube. A day later Youtube recommended me a live stream, two guys were just joking and playing Danganronpa. My humor was changing but I knew that I laughed at their streams and videos so I stayed, I watched every stream I could and every video uploaded. Eventually I joined their Discord Server, I edit videos so after a while I asked the main owner of the channel for advice on videos and such, and then we bonded over some videos and songs like the v3 hated by life itself animation. After that I always thought of something to text to him every day, as a matter of fact we talked so much that I became behind on School because I'd be talking to him instead. After a while we started calling every day, and then we started face timing, and after that he had confessed to me. At the time I wasn't sure about my sexuality and I had repressed any attraction I felt for anyone out of "respect" So when he confessed to me I was able to think about it finally. It took me 3 days to think about my life and myself and I said yes and we started dating. We met in person 2 times, and dated for 2 years before he broke up with me a few months ago just because life has been hectic I suppose. The channel doesn't have any of its videos public anymore, the server is somehow barely alive for now despite one of the owners already leaving and the other just not talking much, and basically anything that came from all of it no one will know about other than the small group of mutuals that keep in touch and me making these. Most of those mutuals still don't even know that we ever dated. The channel is Emigc btw I think the only thing ever left public is someone reacting to a video he made on Danganronpa S.

anyway boohoo story sad ending but yeah that's how Nagito Komaeda helped me experience my first romantic love and know that i'm autistic, that's it. he's still funnily enough one of my favorite characters of all time i'm normal about him now at the very least Lmao. I finally got into Rain Code after the breakup since I got it for Christmas and it's stupid but it really does feel like the next step? if that makes sense? Danganronpa was the impact to my life, Rain Code is what I'm loving in the aftermath of what Danganronpa has done to my life. I honestly have loved Rain Code somehow even more than I loved Danganronpa, maybe not to the insane extent of Nagito though Lmao. Oh yeah, I also completely skipped over how Danganronpa helped me bond even more with my best friend who feels like a brother to me now but this is already long enough! I've just been making messages about what happened because those were the happiest years of my life and I miss it.

thanks for reading if you did

Goes to show that media really does have a grand effect on our daily lives. From my personal experience, I wouldn't have met any of my friend group, aptly named Ding Dong Bing Bong, without Danganronpa. Long story short, I started playing the first game after watching Game Grumps' playthrough of the 2nd game (and proceeded to spoil myself about the entire trilogy), and I did so in a Discord server. Someone ended up joining me during the start of the prologue, and we shared in voicing the characters. After a few days, another person joined, then another, then another. And now we're a tight huddle of ten after more than a year of playing games together!

It's interesting to hear how the Dangan series, Rain Code, and other media has affected other people as well. Meeting new people, discovering new things about ourselves, and watering our creative roots! Looking back on the moments can boost our spirits, too! I hope the future bodes well for you as you continue to enjoy your interests!

[thesilentpotato]

need to blog about this.

(about archiving my blog (on a hard drive im not leaving lmao))

TL;DR: i made an offline version of my tumblr archive using cebtenzzre's fork of tumblr-utils on github. I'm debating on buying an SSD to house my tumblr on. it currently takes up several hundred 82 GB.

in 2018 when the NSFW ban happened I downloaded basically my entire blog at the time, using an external tool via the command line. out of fear of posts disappearing or tumblr dying. over the past several years i have been slowly going through the whole archive to double check everything got saved (some posts errored, images and video were missed, deactivated blogs were wayback machined and looked through, etc etc).

so! today i finally fucking finished going through everything and i also edited the html files that list the eons of pages of my blog so now i can have my posts archived by year/month/post! this involved batch file editing in visual studio, familiarity with running console commands, and random internet deep dives to find obscure missing content or its equivalent.

44,282 posts

this took me SO LONG that...

tumblr changed its api so mass downloading at that scale is no longer possible without long cooldowns

some of the posts i downloaded have been nuked from the platform. like they are inaccessible. GONE.

i changed blog themes 2 or 3 times and any new archives that get saved will have to be stored separately in my hard drive, to preserve my theme over time

oh yeah, im storing all of this on an external hard drive dedicated to backing up files i dont have easy access to.

i uh. really really need a backup for that backup! i could dump it into my google one acct but it's a lot of personal info about who i am as a person spanning 10 years. haha .....

Soooooo now i get to go through 2019-now but probably at a much slower pace and also maybe not as organized. id rather not batch edit again 😶

I have also been skipping downloading videos from external sources like youtube to save on space but tbh a lot of videos have disappeared so ive done a small bit of video saving for 2013 and 2018 posts. but i posted soooo much that i rlly don't wanna go thru all 44k posts AGAIN to search for those links. think of the storage space!!!

currently everything is on a hard disk drive but i suspect i should just buy like. some super SSD or something to lessen the risk of the HDD failing since it has mechanical parts in it. (idk that's what the internet computer makers and data hoarders talk about im sorta talking out of my ass here)

anyway that's it i needed to share my accomplishment with someone before going to a party hehe

[cielsosinfel]

I'm reading in fits and starts because my health nose-dived last month... and really ruined my attention span and energy levels in general... also I've been struggling to find books that hold my attention.

I'm still reading "Kill the Dead" by Tanith Lee which I LOVE, and should have finished by now since it's less than 200 pages, but alas... but I'm enjoying it immensely. It is the exact kind of grim fantasy with lush prose, well-defined character voices, bits of sardonic humor, and interesting (but not overwhelming) worldbuilding to keep me invested. There's also ample homoerotic subtext between the lead male protagonists and I'm obsessed with the idea of them. (Unfortunately there's no fic on Ao3- if fic ever existed, it was probably via email lists, Yahoo groups and personal websites on now defunct 90s/early 2000s web hosts. if not in mail-order fanzines. LMAO.)

Wait, I'll copy some bluesky posts I made (EXTREMELY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT):

1/21/24 Reading more of Kill The Dead. I do enjoy how Lee writes Dro's physical disability, and how he reacts to other people reacting to it

It's not like his disability never affects him, there are scenes where he's contending from the chronic pain worsening after exertion. But it just reads very /naturally/ to me as someone who also struggles with chronic pain that affects my ability to move around… And he's so pass agg its great

I really do appreciate how Lee write's Parl Dro living with his disability throughout the entire story: it's an ever-present part of his day-to-day, something he's used and knows how to live around, still gets frustrated by, the need to rest because he can't help pushing his leg past what it can really handle. The way he reacts to other people either pitying him, or trying to take advantage of him (the priest trying to sell him a horse for far too much money.) It reads very honest and relatable, compared to a lot of other books with disabled protagonists I've tried.

1/31/24 Obnoxious persistent Uncommonly Beautiful bard with major daddy issues who projects fraternal-paternal vibes onto the protag and also tries to kill him (ineffectually) confirmed BI (in a 70s/80s sff novel way) Honestly I want to write fic… There's very little Tanith Lee fic and 0 for this novel

2/5/24 God I ship the two dudes in this Tanith Lee book so bad and I KNOW. I KNOW THE VIBES ARE INTENDED. GODDDD and yet it still manages to be so straight. I really need to find the lesbian erotica she wrote under pseudonym, I have never read a single one. The younger beautiful bard who has nightmares of being beaten by his father and projects all sorts of things on the MC got caught trying to fuck a ghost trying to kill him and threw up and now has been taken captive by a bunch of men set on killing him for necrophilia…. Be still my heart Also he follows the MC around like an angry but desperate puppy, he describes him as an older brother and then tries to kill him ineffectually and proclaims he hates him but is terrified of wandering at night without him and has to constantly resist apologizing to him for Existing… Anyway. (also the bard is the one who is canon bi. The author made sure to mention that. Thank you ) How can I not ship them……

I wasn't super into Myal at the beginning of the book but he has grown on me SO MUCH. Just like he's grown on poor Parl Dro, who is so standoffish and stoic and yet feels responsible for Myal and worries over him, in his own way. And Myal can't really see past his own self-hate and self-pity and self-absorption to really see that.

He is just SO weird with Parl Dro: he hates him, he's attracted to him, he's desperate for his company and the feeling of safety even as much as he's scared of him and wanted to kill him, even as much as he's convinced Dro hates him and judges him, he keeps projecting his daddy issues on Dro while also viewing him as fucked up distant brother figure... dfjgkdfhl

Also the glorious amount of good old-fashioned whump that happens to him.

At the part I've read up to, Myal has ended up kidnapped/ghostnapped by Ciddey, the once-haunted woman whose ghost-sister was killed by Parl Dro, so she commits suicide despite Myal's efforts to save her... and then haunts him from thereon, in order to use him to get revenge on Parl Dro. But basically at the part I'm at, he gets seduced by her- even while knowing she as a ghost feeds off the life-force of the living, and he's giving his own life-force with every moment he's near her, touching her. He is just SO EASY, and Ciddey knows it, and Myal knows it, and he hates himself for it.

But OK. OK, the kidnap scene is just... so horny. Please.

I just love him... he's such a mess... And he suffers so much... And he needs to be rescued by a tall, dark brooding not-quite-hero so often...

Also I loooove this exchange Parl Dro has with Sable, the healer-woman hermit, while they're taking care of Myal's almost-dead body:

[Sable] "That's why you're here, eh? And him--somehow he knew the right time, too. So he's cleverer than you think." [Parl Dro] "Or than he thinks."

The fact Parl Dro reads Myal so easily and does have this respect for him, not just for his musical skill but his like... bull-headed tenacity, his will to survive despite everything thrown in his way. And Myal can't see that!! He's so wrapped up in himself and his own sense of eternal inadequacy and disappointing everyone around him. kdgksfhfh

Also here are some pieces of prose that really stood out to me while reading:

The sunlight, creeping like a cat, had almost reached Myal, when Dro spoke to her.

Dro sat, the branches loose in his hand, listening. Fine as silk threads drawn through the dark, the notes sewed over and about each other. The melody was oblique, tragic, stabbing somewhere inside the heart with a sweet piercing pain, removed yet immediate. Like that of any excellent minstrel, Myal Lemyal's music could find out emotions that did not belong in the humors the mind of the listener, and plant them there and let them grow while the song sang itself. But Myal was much better than excellent. Myal, playing the bizarre instrument his father had killed to get, was one of the lost golden gods from the morning of the earth.

Then a cold sighing came over the ravine, and stars scattered along Parl Dro's spine.

The fire was low. A crimson branch had broken open, whistling as the sap bled from it. The fortress wall hid the lights of the village from Parl Dro the man. Only the mild passage of the river at its summer low was audible, and sometimes a treacly chorus of frogs.

There was a thin noise of water, not in the ravine, but to one side, along the edge. A spring flickered from the rock and over, uselessly, into the gully.

Dakrness swirled from the thickets, the trees, from pockets in the ground. The sky, a smooth sheet of dark lavender,put out a thousand stars.

As the flame fluttered around the shoe, destroyed it, and expired on the flags, Dro stared at what was left of Ciddey Soban, plastered, insectilre and beautiful, on the wall. She never moved. With vast extinguished eyes, she gazed at him. And then she melted like frost. And then she was gone.

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Ok since you reblogged that one post I hope you know I reread The Sum of Them for the 3rd time, maybe like a month ago, up until the last chapter and i never finished it cause i didnt want to experience it ending again (if that makes sense), i wish it never ended. I wish they could play baby games forever but its so important it does end because the ending is soo beautiful but so devastating, and it's beautiful because its so devastating, and my heart cant take experiencing that again :'-(

i already sent a message on here saying that your fic was the first fic to make me cry, possibly the first piece of LITERATURE in general to make me cry (i could be wrong but i cant remember any piece before that), and it made me cry 2 times when reading it for the first time. It is truly my favorite piece of McLennon fanfiction, but the only reason i dont fully consider it mine is that if someone were to ask me, it'd be too taboo/freaky to say but its truly one of the most heartfelt and complex ways ive ever seen anyone portray John and Paul while also feeling completely accurate and realistic. My god. And i love so many of your other fics too but The Sum of Them really means so much to me and I cant even say that enough. i wish you could just live as me and be inside my mind to fully grasp how much of an affect it had on me, I dont think i will ever be able to explain it sadly </3. But just know out of every McLennon fic ive ever read (and ive read many), THAT one is my very favorite out of like 100+. The way you characterize them is just so completely different from any other fic ive read and its so intimate and raw and holy shit i dont even have the words. Sorry i know im rambling at this point but I just think about it a lot! Also your fics are the only fics i enjoy anymore, (recent) beatles fics have gone down the drain in my opinion and yours are the only ones i can be satisfied with because, as far as im concerned, anything you write is automatically in-character for them after reading The Sum of Them lol x) thank you so SO much for writing cause it's truly exposed so many of my own desires and hidden , sensitive parts of myself that couldn't be excavated any other way without your work 💖

Dude... this is legitimately one of the best comments I've ever gotten. I wish I could memorize all of this and replay it for myself whenever I'm feeling blue. Thank you so so much, it means the world to me! I think all writers insert their own thoughts and emotions into their work, and I definitely do that in all of mine, but especially The Sum of Them. This fic is basically my wishlist of things I would do with a partner, as well as coming to better terms with my own kinks, so I'm glad it's been able to resonate with people. I'm also glad that I managed to keep John and Paul in character, even if John is crying every other paragraph lmao! I totally get what you're saying about wishing I could experience what you did, I wish I could too. Sometimes I reread my fics with the mindset of someone reading it for the first time, but it's just not the same. I'd give my left tit for more writers on my level or higher who wrote bottom!John or even ABDL fics, I swear. I don't read a lot of fics these days, but I'm usually disappointed whenever I check the Beatles tab. I'm also really really bad at remembering titles and author names, so I never remember what fics that I like! Thank God for bookmarks. I definitely understand not wanting to tell people that this is your favorite fic though, lol! I've been writing Beatles fics for a long time, but I created a new account on AO3 when I started writing these fics. I'm comfortable talking about this stuff, but only with the help of an alternate profile. I'm really really happy to help people explore this side of themselves though-- too often fics like mine are just really gross over-the-top and completely unrealistic portrayals in my opinion, and I guess I wanted to bring something sweeter and more realistic to the table. <3

[thompsborn]

diabetic harley you are so so special to me already (also! i know the focus is on HB and your other one shot right now but do you have any sort of projected schedule for TBAF in mind? what are the next steps there if you don’t mind me asking!)

the focus is on hb and tbaf!! the other one shot is something i've been working on in the background when i have time/motivation for like at least a year and a half, it's not a priority at all, i just happened to reread it earlier today and decided to post about it pjfkjhg, i do want to maybe try and finish it and post it on feb 24 because feb 24 is my nine year diabetic anniversary and i think that'd be cool like. emotionally lmao. but yeah no hb and tbaf are my top priorities!!

the thing with tbaf is i have it WAY more planned out than hb, so whenever i make myself sit and work on tbaf, i can bust out the next one shot in like. a day or two lmao. like i have what is happening in the next ten installments already figured out (some one shots, some multi chapter)

i think what i keep doing is focusing more on homeward bound because 1. the hb series is a lot more complex and like. grittier? and more real and intense and stuff, you know? whereas tbaf, while it does have a lot of serious moments and touch on angsty stuff, overall it's a lot more lighthearted, especially in its approach to the serious stuff. hb is Trauma. tbaf is Funny Trauma Bonding Therapy.

but also 2. i have a lot of ideas for homeward bound that i know i want to do but i don't have it all laid out the way i have it for tbaf, so then i'm like, well i need to focus on hb first to figure it out, and then i get stuck on something and spend literally MONTHS stuck on this something in hb and go over a year without updating tbaf because of it. which is why i'm trying to like. bounce between them?

so after i write chapter 16 of hb, i'm going to at least START the next installment of tbaf, though i might also work on chapter 17 at the same time since i have a time limit goal for finishing hb.

sorry this is a very long winded way of saying: tbaf is definitely still a priority! i have the next ten parts planned out (though i am still struggling to figure out how and when to actually END tbaf) and i know exactly how i want to write them, it's more a matter of finding the time while still trying to reach my goals for hb.

my guess is by the latest i'll probably post the next part in january if i'm not able to do so sooner. MAYBE february if the holiday season gets super crazy or something lmao. but with me trying to have hb 1 finished and posted on christmas eve, tbaf, while still a top priority for sure, is like a tiny step down from hb for the time being

[omniscientoranges]

Advanced Reader Copy

Dean gives Cas a book to read. Or, well, a passage from a book.

(basically, Cas reads a part of Lost and Found)

1.5k

read on ao3

"Hey, Cas, can I talk to you?" 

Cas stops in place at Dean's voice, a few feet in front him. They're standing in the middle of the library, where Cas had just been trying to stealthy avoid Dean noticing him walking by. 

It's been a little over a week since Dean (with some help from their friends) had pulled Cas out of the Empty. Since then, they've been not-so-obviously/obviously avoiding each other. 

The reason being that, basically, they haven't talked about what Cas said. Yet. Maybe they wouldn't ever talk about it. Honestly, Cas would be absolutely fine with that, if it meant he got to keep Dean as a friend. That would be absolutely fine and not at all painfully heartbreaking in any way. Not at all. 

Cas nods. "Of course, Dean. What is it?" 

Dean shifts on his feet. "It's, well, it's kinda important." 

"Okay," Cas says, smiling slightly even though his heart has started to beat erratically in his chest. 

"Look, I- shit. This is-" Dean stops himself, and shakes his head as his eyes dart back and forth across the concrete floor. Then he pauses, eyes fallen on one of the shelves, and looks back up at Cas. 

"Just gimme a minute, I'll be right back." 

Cas squints, "Alright, I'll just-" he starts to say, but Dean's already ran off to some far-flung corner of the bunker — taking whatever he wanted to say and whatever idea he's suddenly had with him. 

Cas stares after him, but stays rooted to the spot. 

Time passes. It is — possibly — the longest string of minutes Castiel, former Angel of the Lord and current Angel of Absolutely No One (Except, Maybe, the Winchesters), has ever experienced. 

After an eternity passes in 10 minutes, Dean walks back into the library. He's carrying a beat-up cardboard box, with a single book resting on top of where the box has been folded closed. 

Dean drops the box onto a nearby table, and the old wood creaks under the new weight. Before Cas can see it, Dean quickly grabs the single book off the top and holds it tight to his chest. It's angled in a way that Cas can only make out that it is, in fact, a book; but not anything else about it. 

"What are these?" Cas asks, moving the cardboard flaps out of the way to peer into the box. 

"Books." Dean answers. 

Cas rolls his eyes, "I know they're books, Dean, I mean what-" and Cas finally catches sight of one of the covers. 

Carver Edlund.

"Oh," Cas says. "They're, um. Our books, I suppose." 

Dean rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah. I guess, uh, I guess Chuck kept writing. Sammy found them when he went to check out Chuck's old place a few weeks back. Looks like the rest of his books never made it into circulation though. I think he just mojo-ed up some printed copies for himself when he finished with 'em, pompous bastard." 

Dean's mouth forms a thin line at the thought of Chuck, but wipes it away as quickly as it came. "But anyways, here," Dean holds out the book he was carrying between them. "Take it." 

Cas reaches out apprehensively, and pulls the book from Dean's grasp. 

"I promise it'll all make sense," Dean insists. "Just, um, flip to the page I have marked." 

Cas takes a moment to look over the book before opening it. The paperback is a stark black, contrasted by a stylized funeral pyre adorning the front, which is set at a distance so the majority is taken up but a long trail of smoke curling up until it disappears beyond the edge of the cover. 3 figures are silhouetted by the flames, and they stand apart from each other. Separate. The title reads Lost and Found by Carver Edlund.

Cas opens to where Dean has dog-eared the book only a handful of pages before the end, and reads. 

Dean held the lighter close to his chest, almost like he was holding a candle at a vigil. In a way, he was. 

Dean had been to a lot of funerals, built a lot of funeral pyres, but something about this one had broken him in a way he wasn't expecting. It broke him in a way he had spent years — decades, really — fighting against. 

You see, Dean wasn't the kind of guy. He was a red-blooded, beer-drinking, pool-hustling, bacon-cheeseburger-eating, classic-car-driving, skin-mag-reading American male. Guys like that don't have game-changing feelings for other guys. They just don't. 

At least, that's what Dean always told himself. 

But standing in front of that pyre, watching the smoke rise, he told himself something different for once. Dean told himself it was all a bunch of bullshit, because he was still all those things he was before, and he wouldn't ever stop being those things no matter what. He was just something else extra, too. 

Because Dean would have traded anything in that moment to get Cass back. Would have traded all the cheeseburgers and beer in the world. Would have traded his life. Hell, he would have traded his car if it meant he'd get another chance at this. Another chance with Cass. Just one chance to finally tell him what he'd been too scared all these years to say. Because Cass had always been around, even when he didn't need to be — he was there. But now he wasn't. And Dean wanted more than anything else in the world for him to be there so he could finally say— 

"Dean," Cas says, voice wavering. The paragraph cuts off mid-sentence; if he wants to read the rest of it, he'll have to flip to the next page to see. "What is this?" 

"Your funeral, after Lucifer killed you." 

Cas shakes his head, not quite believing Dean's words, or Chuck's for that matter. Surely this couldn't be, he couldn't really mean—

Dean interrupts Cas' swirling thoughts. "It's Chuck's words, but it's- it's all me. He writes it more flowery than it really was, ya know, up here," Dean taps two fingers to the side of his head, "but it's the truth." He laughs to break the tension, but there's an edge of nerves there. Cas can almost hear his heartbeat across the room. "Don't tell Baby this, but I really would've given her up if it meant getting you back." 

Cas shakes his head harder, tears springing loose and dropping onto the page, smudging the ink. 

"Dean-" 

"Turn the page." 

"What's on the next page, Dean?" 

"You know what." 

"I-" 

"Cas, just turn the page." 

Cas turns the page with an unsteady hand. It's blank, likely formatted that way for dramatic effect, save for 3 words in the top left corner. 

I love you.

Cas makes a choked sound and breathes out in disbelief, in sheer amazement. He runs his fingertips over the letters, traces the shape of them, feels their weight and knows it's heavier in his hands than any cheap paperback ever could be. It feels too much all of a sudden. Like something so remarkable shouldn't be confined to print — like 3 typeset and faded little words shouldn't be enough to shift the core of him so intensely that it makes his whole body ache. 

Then, the feeling of hands brushing over his pulls him out of his own head, and he looks up to see Dean (Dean, of course it's Dean, who else would it be? Who else could it ever be but Dean). Dean shifts one hand over Cas' around the spine of the book, and uses the other to push Cas' fingers away from where they rest on the page. He gently pulls the book out of his grip, and sets it on the table next to them. They both stare at it for a long moment, and then Dean is moving his hands back onto Cas, bringing both of them up to cup his face. 

Dean looks at him, eyes shining. "I meant it, I mean it. I know I'm not the best at showing it all the time, and I know I should've told you a million times before this, but I really do mean it." 

"I know you do." Cas wraps one hand loosely around Dean's wrist, and lets the other dig into his hip; anchoring both of them in place. "I- I mean it too." 

"Yeah?" 

"Of course." 

They smile at each other and rest their foreheads together, just standing there breathing the same air like it's the first time they've let themselves breathe for months. 

When they kiss, it's not a storybook. It's not bargain bin horror fiction. It's not a bestseller. It's not scripted, or planned out, or lighted particularly well. It's a kiss. It's a little awkward, a little unpracticed, a little gross through the tears. 

What it is, is the promise of another. And another after, and after that, and after and after and after. As many as they want for as long as they want. 

Their life isn't a story anymore, not in the way that they're used to. And it's no longer getting written down to be conveniently handed to each other to read whenever they have a hard time expressing their feelings. But, for a time, it was a story. It was their story. 

And it was a hell of a story, all things considered.

[mrshipsmcgee]

1. Peter and partner go to see a movie for date night. Things a little handsy in the dark. 2. Peter has the ability to get almost anywhere in NYC. That leaves some unique places for sex to occur. Peter/partner have a check list of all the famous nyc landmarks to fuck on top of. Bonus points if its the statue of liberty lmao. 3. Possessive!Peter "teaches you a lesson" after watching u flirt for another dude for the sole purpose of making him jealous. hope one of these could inspire something!

Oh my gosh, I fell asleep - I’m sorry!! I choose all 3 for this lil sexy moment with Pete lol I apologize if it isn’t the best - I just really wanted to finish it before I left for work <3

-

Summary: Peter has been slacking lately. Everything has just been so busy with Spiderman lately that he’s been missing things, or forgetting all together. One night when you decide to flirt with another person while on a date to make him jealous, Peter gets possessive and decides to teach you a lesson.

Warnings: smut central under the cut ;) and I didn’t proof read lol that’s the greatest warning of them all.

——

Things have been tense lately between you and Peter. He had become almost unattainable because Spiderman had started to take up so much of his time.

No one talks about how strained your relationship can become when you’re boyfriend is an actual superhero. It’s a lot of long nights, missed calls and opportunities in the name of justice and crime-fighting. And you know he loves you, but jeez this has been going on for an entire month.

And your relationship was only four months old - so, that’s really not the best track record.

Peter surprisingly took you to see a movie in the park, hoping to figure out what had gotten into you lately. He noticed you were agitated and short when you would speak, which is out of character for you - you guys normally had riveting conversations that ended in laughter and merriment. But, something had changed. Things had started to get stale between the two of you, so Peter decided to take you on a date.

So, there the two of you sat - an old movie plays on the projector in front of you as you sat in a crowd of people on picnic blankets. Couples cuddled, kissed - hell, someone even got engaged. But you and Pete sat six inches apart from each other while he plays with his thumbs and you stare at the movie screen, not really wanting to even look at him.

You were an hour into the movie when Peter asked you, “what’s wrong, my love?” You let out an aggravated sigh. “Nothing, Peter.”

Peter.

He panicked, you never call him Peter. It’s always either, baby, babe, Pete - hell, even Petey is better than just Peter. Something was definitely wrong.

You shake your head, groaning as you stand, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, I’ll be back.”

A few minutes had passed since you had left for the restroom when Peter spotted you from afar, some guy was talking to you. And you were laughing so loudly. Peter swallows, trying to breathe as he told himself that you probably knew the guy or something.

And then he sees the guy give you his phone, and you take it, quickly typing something and giving it back to him. You nod your head and laugh again, the guy laughs too - hard.

Peter feels anger rise up in him knowing you were flirting with another person right in front of him.

“That’s it,” he stands, stalking over to where you stood. He’s seamless as his large hand wraps around your arm, pulling you away from the conversation as he walks you away from the park, “We’re leaving. Now.”

“What?” You say breathlessly as Peter drags you away. “Why?”

“Because you’re fucking unfaithful,” he grits his teeth, you had never seen Peter like this. But you’re angry, too. You remember how terrible this past month has been and you hiss out, “Well, it’s hard to be faithful to someone that doesn’t show up anymore.”

Peter walks you into a dark alleyway and pushes you against the wall, his brown eyes angry and confused at your words. “Excuse me?”

“Oh what, Peter? Are you upset that I’m fucking lonely?” You ask, sarcastic as you shove him away from you. “You haven’t been around for an entire month and you think taking me to a fucking movie is going to help? That it will magically make me want to stay with you?”

He furrows his brows as he digests your words. He’s upset - no angry. Different emotions wash over his handsome face as he pushed you back against the brick wall of the alleyway. “Is that what you think of me? That’s so fucking selfish of you. I’m trying to stop crime in our community and you’re upset that I’m busy?”

“Fucking yes, Peter. I’m mad as hell,” you’re angry, gritting your teeth with every word. “And-.”

“And you are upset that I haven’t been around for the past month?” He asks even though he knows your answer. “There is a very very bad man out there that I’m trying to track down right now. He kills without remorse. He - he threatened to kill you. So I have to find him, I have to. And now, after this entire month of trying to protect you - you go and flirt with the first tall brute you can find to piss me off? What the fuck is that about?”

“Oh fuck you, Peter,” you hiss. “I’m sorry I’ve never dated a crime fighting hero before and I’m needy! I flirted with that dude because I wanted you to finally pay attention to me!”

“Fuck me?! Fuck you!” He yells, punching the wall beside you. “Whatever! Go flirt with that guy again, I’m sure he’ll be glad to have you!”

“Yeah - just fuck me, Peter! You’re such an asshole. Fuck you!” You yell, walking away from him. You can hear a web shoot and feel it extended around your wrist as Peter pulls you back into his arms. His brown eyes look into yours and he flashes you a smirk, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Before you can react Peter has thrown the two of you onto the roof of the building he had just had you pinned against. “How about instead of fighting I just fuck you senseless? Would that get you to shut the fuck up already? You’re so needy for me I bet that is just what you want. Do you want that? You want me to fuck you?”

You nod, not realizing you had Peter’s shirt in your tightened grip. He smirks, “That’s all you had to say, my needy baby.” Peter wraps his arms around you before he swings you through the city - dropping as he neared the Statue of Liberty.

“Peter, are we allowed to be up here?” You ask, clinging to him as you scanned the city. Gosh, you were high up. Peter walks himself into you, rubbing his erection into your ass to show what you’ve done to him.

“Now be a good girl and take your pants off so I can fuck you,” he whispers in your ear, his hand cupping your breast as you let out a gasp. You take your pants off, the wind hitting your most private parts as Peters hand finds it’s way to the curve of your hip, pulling you into his pelvis. He digs his nose into your neck.

Peter unzips his pants, pulling his warm cock from hiding and sliding it between your asscheeks. “You’re too short, I need to pick you up,” he grunts, picking you up with ease as he slides his precum soaked erection between your legs. You both let out soft moans as he rocks back and forth, gathering both of your juices for between lubrication.

“Are you going to flirt with other people again?” He asks as he slides into you, “Hm?”

You can’t speak as he slides further in, your wall squirming around his cock as he starts to fuck you. “You won’t flirt with anyone because you know that no one else can fuck you like this - yeah? No one else can fuck you whenever they want like I can. No one. You’re mine.”

You moan, feeling yourself beginning to unravel under his touch. “I’m going to cum, Pete.” “Then fucking cum, baby,” he growls as his hot cum shoots inside of you. “Cum for me.”

—

Tag List: @rose-writes-shit @xuxialling @itwasallinmyhead1 @mypalbuck @angelcritterz @levylovegood @gwenebear @saltedcoffeescotch @thelittlebirdwriter @mbjackie @kiwi5335 @nikkitc0703 @laurathefahrradsattel @lizabethmenke @cheeseman @blooming-violets @andrewgarfieldsloml @s0upisgood

[atinywhore]

I knocked on every door

kang yeosang x fem reader

genre: honestly, mostly angst with a splash of smut at the end.. but its good smut, in my royal opinion, so don't worry

word count: 3540 (most of it is angst lmao)

warnings: pleasure dom vibes (yeosang ofc), oral (fem receiving), HICKIESSS, multiple orgasms ;) unprotected sex (use a condom dummies), some trauma elements idk how to describe it but you'll see hopefully, angst to fluffy ending bc im a softy who needs happy endings..

an: This is part two to my besties yeosang request! This is my first time doing angst really and I'm happy with how it turned out. P.S. I didn't really edit this.. so I do apologize if there are any big issues, there shouldn't be but if there is my bad, its literally midnight the I'm finishing this and am running off of 4 hours of sleep. OMG, I have nothing against Seonghwa, I would literally shoot someone if they did what I did to him in this fic, so please no hate, he was just the first member that popped into my brain. stop I love him.

be kind and lmk :) please be nice and let me know if I missed any warnings. enjoy my dirty little hoes <3

tag list: @ch0isa99ie @mingigoo @ateezinmymind @wickeddarkness-place @whatudowhennooneseesyou @teezers99

bite me- (pt 1) (pt 2)

~~~~~

He slid himself fully inside, my walls burning with pleasure. “Fuck” the word comes out in a breathy moan directly into his ear. “Holy shit doll.” He flexed his hips and another wave of pleasure burned through me. “Taking me so well.” he drew his eyes away from mine and looked down to where we were connected. Slowing his pumps and filling me as much as he can, repeating the torturous motion over and over until I almost reach the edge, and then he stops.

~

It has been 2 months since that night in the parking garage. It took me over a week to finally peel myself from my bed and actually shower. No matter how hard I tried I could not seem to erase the feeling of his hands roaming my body and how perfectly he seemed to fill me up. It wasn’t until your friends forced you out of your apartment back into civilization. You were at a cafe waiting for your friends when you got a text saying (We are sorry, please don’t hate us. You need this.) Rightfully pissed, you make to leave after seemingly being stood up, you hear a man's voice directly in front of you, “Y/n?” Your vision focuses on the tall and very handsome man now smiling down at you. “Are you y/n?” His cat-like features pulled to reflect the smile now dominating his face. “Yes I am. Do I know you?” Trying not to be impolite but his stature and angular greek like looks are ripping you back to the night you have been trying so hard to forget. It was not this man's fault that he has a similar look to.. You can’t even speak his name in your head or else you’ll crumble right here in this cafe.

His face twists in a concern like manner and you snap yourself out of the spiraling thoughts consuming you. “I’m sorry did you say something?” Feeling a slight blush warm your cheeks, he just plasters that same smile back on, this time a dimple settles on the corner of his left lip.

He never looked at me like that.

“I said I’m Seonghwa. I work with your friends and they have been trying to set us up for a while now I guess. I’m sorry it seems you didn’t know and I don't want to make you feel comfortable. I will just go now and-” Now it's his turn to warm with embarrassment. “No you came all the way here! Sit, we can just talk over a cup of coffee. His cheeks illuminating slightly with the pink still tinting his tan skin. His smile shines even brighter as he takes a seat across from you.

And for almost two months now it has been Seonghwa. We have been inseparable since that fateful day. We might be on the cusp of dating but no matter how many times he brings it up I just can’t say yes. My mind is so clearly set on picking Seonghwa, but, it's my fickle heart that is standing in the way of fully letting him in. He makes me so happy, so it should be the obvious choice of Seonghwa but it’s almost as if Yeosang cast a spell on you. No, fuck him for screwing with my life even after he’s no longer in it.

Your kinda boyfriend Seonghwa was throwing a party and of course you had  to go. It didn’t take you long to get ready and take the elevator down 3 floors to his apartment. As you neared his floor you could hear the slight thumping of a deep bass. As the elevator dinged and opened its doors to the hallway, almost shaking with the music. You turn right and walk down the warmly lit hall close towards my destination. Another right and I’m hit with the stench of weed and alcohol. Dodging the dazed bodies of both men and women to finally reach the heart of the party.

My eyes roamed the crowd, taking in the delightful sight. There’s a young girl swaying her hips in time with the beat, a drink in hand raised above her head. Looking to my left I see two young men, bodies facing one another in an intimate type of way. The taller of the two looked down at his partner with a soft expression of bliss coating his features while his counterpart excitedly shared some story, hands and arms flinging around to better share the experience.

Continuing to scan the crowd I finally see Seonghwa. Squeezing, sliding and ducking, I’m able to make my way through the crowd and reach him. Moving closer to him I wrap my arm around his and he finally turns noticing me. “Y/n! You made it!” He moves his arm causing mine to fall but he leans down and pulls me into a hug. His scent of warm vanilla and coconut rum washed over my senses. I felt the twitch of arousal flicker down to my lower stomach at the pressure of his hands running from my shoulder blades down to finally wrap around my hips.

A chill ran down my spine, but not of pleasure. I can feel the burning of eyes labored onto my back. My body stiffened and my palms began to sweat. Sensing my change seonghwa releases from the hug and sets his focus solely on my face. His brows curl in concern and he places his hands on my shoulders to pull me out of my frozen state.

It can’t be him. He doesn’t know Seonghwa, right?

“Y/n?” Seonghwa shakes my shoulders slightly, finally pulling me out of my state. “Yes hwa?” My voice barely a whisper. I clear my throat and repeat the sentence. “You went all quiet. Are you okay?” His hands move up to cup my cheeks and I can’t help but smile at his comforting warmth. “Yes hwa. Just got lost in thought I guess.” You try to laugh it off but he still seems to be on edge. You move his hands from your face and hold them in yours, “Come on, let’s go get a drink.”

~

A few drinks later and you definitely forgot about the chilling thought of him being here. There was a slight buzz clouding your mind as you and your kind of boyfriend danced within the crowd. You could feel the heat of his body pressed closely behind yours. His hands held a weak grip on your hips, just enough of pressure to keep your ass connected with his pelvis. Swaying sensually to the music with a tall handsome man behind you, a great buzz growing, your mind finally turned off. This feeling enlightened your mind of its troubles and just let you be.

This euphoric feeling did not last long when the chill returned, slithering it’s way down my spine. Shooting my eyes open, I now searched the crowd for the source. Relief started to settle my jumpy body but disappeared when I spotted him.

He looked like a god. Standing in the corner of the room, drink stopped just at his full lips and his darkened eyes met mine from across the room. Stopping the movement of my body as the rush of emotions consumes me. Seonghwa’s grip tightens, encouraging me to keep moving with him. The memory of Yeosang hands grabbing me the same way causes a flare of panic to jolt my system alive. Grabbing Seonghwas hands from my hips while still holding them, I turned to face him, “I’m not feeling so good hwa. I’m going to go home, I think.” Obviously drunk, he whines out a response but I place a quick kiss to his cheek and head towards the front door.

~

I could feel him following close behind me.

His footsteps mocked mine, the heel of his boot clicking against the black and white tile. The sound echoed louder and soon enough there was a hand stopping me by the shoulder. “Y/n.” My breath hitches at the sound of his deep voice. “Please don’t walk away from me again.” He turns me around to face him but my head is locked downward, staring at his shiny black combat boots. With his other hand he hooks a finger underneath my chin and lifts my line of vision to meet his.

Gone were the inky, brooding eyes I’ve come to know and fear, now his eyes shine like two pools of dark honey inviting me into the sweetness. His warm eyes flicker all across my face before landing briefly on my lips once and taking their final place meeting back with mine. Our faces are so close that I can smell the sweet scent of peach, no doubt from the flavor of soju he had been drinking. His thumb gently runs back and forth over my bottom lips as his eyes never leave mine.

Reality hits me like a fucking train. Taking a step back, I break the contact between us and now I’m left with a cold feeling deep deep inside me. His mouth opens to speak again but I hold my hand up to stop him. “What can I help you with Yeosang?” I managed to muster up every ounce of courage I had. He falters at my response. A long silence drags on between us. He’s just staring intently at me, mouth slightly agape and his posture now rigid. “Okay then. Good night Yeosang.” Turning around I continue walking straight, aiming for the elevator directly in front of me. I don’t look back. I press the button and the doors slide open. Entering the old fashioned metal cage-like elevator I finally turn and see him. Standing exactly as I left him. It’s not until the doors are about to close that I see him start forward. It’s too late. The doors have shut and the 5th floor button is already glowing with its destination.

I make it down the long hallway to my apartment, the last and furthest one from the elevator. I kick off my shoes in the entryway and slug my way into the joined kitchen and living room. I open the fridge door and grab my picker of water, setting it on the island behind me. It’s at this point that my mind is no longer thinking. There are only the basic thoughts like the ones for water and sleep. I grab a cup from the cupboard next to me, then pour and gulp the chilled water. The water energizes me long enough to make it to the couch and once my head hits the soft throw pillow, I’m out.

~

I’m jolted from my sleep by a loud smack at the door. I froze, careful not to make a sound. Then a fury of knocks follow the smack. My dazed brain racks itself for some sort of rationalization for the situation. I jump to the thought of Seonghwa. He was pretty wasted, he could be coming up to check on me. My heart does a guilty flip. I get to my feet and head over to the door. The banging has stopped by the time I open the door. The man on his knees before me was not who I was expecting. The sound of me opening the door has him lifting his hanging head. His dark shaggy hair moves in motion with his head. The dark bangs framing his face fall back with the rest of his hair when he is fully looking up at me. The look in his eyes has not changed from when I had just seen him last.

“I knocked on every door.” His rasp almost brought my knees to tremble. “Excuse me?” My words came out weak. “I knocked on every door on this floor to find you y/n.” He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back even further making him look even more like he was carved from stone. He takes a deep breath, holds, and then lets it go slowly, reopening his eyes to look back at me. “I was wrong y/n. Ever since that night you walked away from me, I have not been able to get you out of my mind.” His hand jets up to push the hair falling into his face back. “I don’t understand what you did to me y/n but all I know is I want you. I need you.” He meets my eyes again and they are wild this time, almost as if I can see the thoughts consuming his mind like a wildfire. “Well to quote your own words Yeosang, ‘This was a one time thing. Don’t get it twisted.’ Plus if you couldn’t tell, I’m already seeing someone.” He let out a laugh at the last part of my retort. “Come on y/n, we both know you can’t fully commit to him.” Once again feeling the annoyance that once always accompanied his presence, “And why might that be Yeosang?” He rather slowly gets to his feet, now towering slightly over me, and begins to back us into my apartment.

“You know why y/n. You are just too scared to admit it like I was.” I stop moving, causing him to stop as well. He does not get to come here and treat me like this again. “Fuck off Yeosang. I’m not some toy you can just pick up and play with when you are bored.” A half grin pulled the left corner of his lips up. “That’s not how it seemed to feel last time we were together y/n. Don’t you remember?” The flashbacks playing through my mind cause waves of pleasure to migrate to my stomach and lower. “Oh bite me.” As soon as you said it, you wish you hadn’t. He closed the final distance between you two and he leans in to whisper, “Don’t tempt me doll.” His hot breath fanned down the length of your neck before he stopped right above the last spot he had bitten you. “Y/n, I need to know that you feel the same before we go any further.” My mind whirled from the sleepiness, his confession, his soft lips placing sweet kisses all along my neck and exposed shoulder and my once buried emotions for him resurfacing. Taking a deep breath I pull back from Yeosang. He seems defeated by my movement until I grab his hand. Meeting his eye briefly, I turn to lead him further into my apartment. Walking past the living room and through a tiny hall I stop outside the door to my bedroom. Before I open the door I release his hand and grab him by the face, effectively pulling his head down to my level. “I can’t be another one time thing with you again Yeosang. I won’t be able to pull myself together if it happens again.” A couple tears fell down my cheeks and now it's his turn to hold my face. Wiping my tears away and placing a kiss where each one fell, he looks at my lips and leans his head in to kiss me.

I wish I could say I forgot how soft his lips were, but I can’t. He worked my mouth open slowly for him to let his tongue slide in, deepening the kiss. When he pulls away I find myself fiending more and more, just needing another hit. “Y/n, I’m the biggest fool for ever thinking that you were.” My breath shortened in excitement and hopefulness. I reached behind me and opened the door. Keeping one hand on cupping my face, the other hooked under my knee, urging me to straddle him as he strode towards my bed. He looked into my eyes the whole time, our souls connecting. He tossed me onto the bed and placed himself in between my legs. “You are mine, doll. I want you and only you.” My whole body becomes heightened with arousal, I try to roll my hips into his but he stops me. “No, I’m going to take my time with you and show you how much you truly mean to me y/n.”

He starts by peeling off the black dress that I was wearing, leaving me in my matching blush pink underwear set. I assumed Seonghwa and I would end up sleeping together tonight so I wore it, and by the angered look on his face, it seems Yeosang figured the same. Frustration getting the better of him he rips my underwear off, like legits rips. The tear of fabric is all I hear before a rush of cool air hits my private area. He then does the same for the matching bralette. Anger now subsides to awe as he sees my naked form laid out in front of him. “So gorgeous.” He mumbles before leaning down and biting the sweet spot on my neck. As he bites he sucks to create a hickey. He repeats this action all down my neck, chest, breast, stomach and inner thigh. Leaning back on his knees once again he admires his work. He takes my new markings in as if he was staring at a piece of art, which in some ways I guess this could be his own art form.

Once he's decided that he has admired his artwork for long enough he slides off the bed to the ground,  pulling me by the hips towards his face and opening my legs , bearing  myself to him. He licks his lips and then he dives right into my soaking pussy. All kinds of sounds, moans, whimpers, pleas, etc come from my mouth as he eats me out. He doesn’t let up his assault as he makes me cum the first time, no he continues and adds two fingers. Soon enough I’m reaching my second climax. Still not letting up he adds a third finger and picks up his pace. Creating a pleasure I’ve never experienced before has me screaming out his name as I cum for a third time in a matter of minutes. Panting and truly struggling to breathe after that unworldly experience leaves me speechless. Yeosang stands from his current position, licking his fingers clean of my juices and licks his lips clean as well. The sight has my still pulsing walls clench again in excitement.

Pulling his form fitting, dark purple sweater over his head, exposing his lean torso and smooth abs to me. He reached for his pants and soon enough the sound of his dick was slapping against his skin. Mouth and pussy watering at the sight of this Greecian God standing before me. Kneeling back on the bed and then trapping myself under his form, he lines his tip at my dripping entrance. The thrill of having him inside me once again is almost enough to have me reaching my 4th climax tonight. He then slid himself fully inside, my walls burning with pleasure. “Fuck” the word comes out in a breathy moan directly into his ear. “Holy shit doll.” He flexed his hips and another wave of pleasure burned through me. “Taking me so well.” he drew his eyes away from mine and looked down to where we were connected. Slowing his pumps and filling me as much as he can, repeating the torturous motion over and over until I almost reach the edge, and then he stops. I dug my nails into his back, a plea for him to stop teasing me, and he quickened his pace. He flipped us over and pulled out the same move he did when we first had sex. Pulling me closer onto his sweat glistened chest, he wrapped his arms around me and began to flex his hips harder and faster inside me. He hit the spot deep inside that caused my vision to go blurry and my head short circuit. Hitting the spot over and over again he had me releasing in no time. He followed shortly after, once again filling my oversensitive pussy with his cum.

Unlike the first time we just stayed in this position for a while. We stayed connected like this for as long as we could. Neither one wanted to break this magically-seeming moment. We would have had we not started to get hard again, while still inside me. The sensation, while amazing, was too painful after 4 orgasms. He pulled himself out of me and grabbed my dress from the floor and began to clean me then himself off. When he was done he tossed the dress back on the ground and just stood there staring at me. Not sure what to say after suddenly feeling self conscious, “You can leave if you want now.” I say it almost as a test, but really it is just me outwardly thinking my biggest fear, that he lied and he was just playing me. He smiled and joined me in bed. “I wasn’t lying, y/n. I want you and only you.” He places a kiss on my forehead and he tucks us under the comforter. For the first time in months, I was finally able to sleep all through the night.

[duckugou]

Great First Impressions (NSFW)

Uraraka x fem!reader Reader is the mom friend

CW: mentions of foul men, homophobia mentioned, reader w bad experiences w men, puking, drinking, weed, oral (fem.. obvs), fingering, just like big fat lesbian shit. /not proofread/ kiribaku moment too lmao

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

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"No seriously- it's a small get together! I want you to meet my friends!" Mina was begging at this point.

See, being Mina's roommate wasn't something you had prepared for fully. You didn't know how hyper and excitable she was going to be when you responded to an ad for a roommate in your new town. You loved her for every inch of her loud self- but lord knows you are not one for parties.

"Mina- I already said no." You sighed, walking your plates into the kitchen since you had both finished eating.

"And I already said PLEASEEEEE!" She was following you and was definitely not taking no for an answer this time.

During that last few months, you had become really close friends. She understood your need for being away from large groups of people and you understood her need for watching RENT over and over again on the weekends.

You both bonded over your love for ramen and obsession with the same artists. She knew when to give you space and you knew when she needed "couch time"- which included platonic cuddles and ice cream while she vented. It was honestly a match made in heaven.

Until she realized you didnt just not like parties- you didnt go to parties ever. Or "get togethers" as she tried disguising it as this weekend. She has since made it her mission to get you to 1, go to a party 2, meet her friends and 3, get some action. In her eyes, you needed to get l a i d or you were going to shrivel up.

You didnt disagree with the last one but it was hard finding a girl in a new town- let alone at all. And fuck Tinder. What a shit show that is- full of "Lets just be friends!" and "I'm straight but want to experiment!" bullshit.

"Mins- I'm so fucking tired from this week and-" You started, but Mina whipped the fridge open before you could finish.

"Knew you'd say that! Thats why I got your favorite redbull. Try againnnnn~" She held the can over your head, making you sigh.

"I have nothing to-" You tried.

"Yes you do. I've seen your wardrobe filled with hot shirts you never fucking wear." She stated, pushing you towards your room.

"I have to finish-" Your final attempt, crushed.

"ITS FUCKING FRIDAY YOU HOMEBODY- your stupid work presentation can wait. Go put on the sexy purple shirt in the back of your closet and get ready- WE ARE GOING." She said in a matter-of-fact tone, hands on her hips as you sulked into your room, knowing your fate was sealed. She wasn't giving up.

With a sigh, you turned around to see her at your doorway still, hands on hips, shaking her head.

"Fine." You stated, opening your closet to get the damn purple top.

---

Walking into the house, you felt your throat tighten from the sheer amount of smoke in the air.

"Jesus Christ, Mins did we walk into a fire?" You asked, coughing lightly.

"No, that just means Sero's ass is here already." She laughed lightly, leading you through the party.

"MINAAAAA!" A voice bellowed, catching both of you off gaurd.

"DENKI YOU FUCKER HOW ARE YA!" She shouted, dropping your hand and meeting the blonde in a hug.

"I'm good! Just been layin low- got back from visiting family actually!"

"Oh my god aw! How are they?!"

"Good- whoooooo is your friend?" Denki inquired, letting go of Mina and walking towards you.

Now, before I go any further- its not that you don't like parties due to shyness. You dont like parties due to not liking people. People can get nosy and rude- and you seem to get nasty looks when returning energy. Especially when men try flirting with you and you have to shut it down because they think they can "Turn you straight." Gag me, Brendan, you smell like puke and your facial hair looks like pubes.

"I'm Y/n." You said curtly. New people made you feel on edge.

"Oh- youre Minas roommate! Nice to finally meet you- hope you're as funny as she says you are! I'm Denki!" He held his hand out for you to shake- which you accepted.

"I like to think I'm funny enough." You tell him, looking to Mina.

"Yeah- I totally told all my friends about you. Sorry!" She held her hands up in surrender.

"Nothing bad was said, promise!" Denki said, making you and Mina laugh.

"Hey Mina!" A new voice rang out behind Denki, an arm swinging around and resting on the blonde's shoulders.

"Ah, Kiri! This is Y/n!"

"Oh shit- hey!" He held his free hand to shake yours, shocking you with his bright smile. "Kirishima Eijiro!"

"Nice to meet you." You said, charmed.

"You too! There's booze in the kitchen, Bakugou's making some snacks, and Sero's got weed. Pick your poison mama!" He informed you, making you feel welcome.

"I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything Mins?" You said, feeling comfortable enough to find your way to the kitchen.

"I'm good- gonna find Sero! Text me if you need me babes!" She said, walking towards the living room.

Walking to the kitchen was a lot of "Excuse me"s going unheard, resulting in you shoving people without really meaning to.

"Christ- no fuckin manners here." You mumbled, opening the fridge for a non-alcoholic drink.

"Shit, tell me about it. People walking around here like theyre deaf." A voice startled you as you grabbed a soda and shut the fridge.

"I try and say excuse me but-" You began.

"No use around here. People dont listen. Just gotta shove em out of the way." He said, stirring his pot of...whatever he was making.

"That's what I did." You laughed.

"Good. I'm Bakugou."

"Oh- Kirishima said youd be making food- I'm Y/n."

"Ah, Pinky's roommate. How ya like living with her loud ass?" He chuckled.

"I find quiet time when shes bothering you guys." You laughed.

"Fair fair." He says, watching you sit on the counter. "So, ya likin it here?"

"What, the house or the town?"

"Both."

"Yeah. Town's layout was easy to get used to. And this house is really nice." You said, taking a sip of your drink, admiring the color of the walls.

"Well thanks. Eij and I put a lot of work into it." He smirked.

"Oh- this is yours and Kirishima's place?" You asked.

"Yeah, moved in like a year ago. Had to make it a home from absolute dog shit."

"Im impressed. Love the colors in here." You complimented.

"Thanks. Kitchen's my domain." The conversation was interrupted before it could go any further.

"Bakugou where do you guys keep your towels? Momo is puking-" A short girl walked into the kitchen, opening drawers and looking around.

"You fuckin kiddin me? Christ- where'd she-" He was interrupted by the brunette.

"She made it to the toilet. She needs a cold cloth."

"Oh. Bathroom, top shelf of the closet." He sighed, turning back to the stove.

You, on the other hand, were completely enamored by the girl that had invaded the kitchen so suddenly. Her figure was amazing, her hair cut was adorable, and her eyes were fucking beautiful.

Immediately, you knew how you could get talking to her.

Hopping off the counter, you let your drink rest in your place.

"I'll come help- I have a way with these things." You said, walking up to her.

You weren't lying. Another reason you hated parties was because you always ended up nursing someone back to health. You didn't drink much and rarely smoked- making you the designated driver and mom friend of any party you went to.

"No way, really? Thank you!" She took your hand, leading you away from the kitchen and pulling you up the stairs.

Climbing the stairs, you couldn’t help but notice her ass-ets as she pulled you behind her. You forced your eyes to look at your feet instead as you reached the top. She pulled you into the bathroom as a girl with short dark hair held back the hair of another darker hair girl- the latter was puking of course.

Dropping your hand, the brunette shut the bathroom door, opening the closet and struggling to reach the shelf the cloths were on. She managed though, standing in her toes and allowing you to admire her further.

She turned around and handed you the cloth, expectantly.

“Right- sorry.” You took the light blue cloth and ran it under the cold water as the girl on the floor heaved.

Gently ushering her friend to the side, you took over. Putting the cloth on the back of- who you assumed to be Momo’s- neck, you took the scrunchie off your wrist and put her hair up in a bun the best you could.

“Hey, you’re okay. I promise. You’re in good hands here. We gotcha.” You said lightly, rubbing her back.

“We’re right here Momo!” The brunette chirped, looking less worried.

Wiping her mouth with toilet paper, Momo flushed the toilet and leaned back into your chest instinctively. You took the cloth from her neck and set it in her forehead as she rested her head on your chest and you settled onto your butt on the tiled floor.

“Fucking haaateee vodkaaaa.” She groaned, eyes screwed shut.

“Hey, can one of you get her some water? Maybe crackers?” You asked the two girls by the door.

“On it!” The dark haired one said, leaving the room.

“I’m Y/n by the way.” You said to both of the remaining girls.

“Momo.”

“Ochako Uraraka!”

Finally. A name for the cute one.

After a second of comfortable silence, Momo lurched forward from your chest, barely giving you time to swipe the cloth from her forehead and she threw up more.

"'s okay. Youre good, youre good." You comforted her as she threw up whatever was left in her body.

"Nghhhh- dont wanna throw up anymore-" She whimpered, wiping her mouth again and leaning back on you.

"I know babes, youre gonna be okay." You said, pushing her baby hairs out of her sweaty face.

The other girl returned to the bathroom, water and saltines in hand.

"Bakugou said to clean any mess we make." She laughed, handing you the water.

Ochako looked at you in awe as you held Momo up, helping her drink the water slowly, and letting her lean against your chest.

"You're good, Momo." You whispered, feeling bad for her.

"Youre good at this stuff huh? Oh- Im Jirou by the way." The remaining nameless girl said, admiring your actions.

"Yeah- just one of those things. Y/n by the way." You laughed lightly.

Ochako couldnt get over how sweet you were with the stranger in your lap. The way your hands brushed her hair back, the way you whispered to her, the way you were immediately knew what she needed. It was so intriguing.

"Okay!" Momo seemed to have a sudden burst of energy as she tried to get up from the floor- way too fast. She fell back into your lap for a second, laughing and starting to get up more slowly. "I wanna go back down! Im better!"

"You sure about that?" You asked, holding her up.

"Yes!" She walked towards the door, stumbling into Jirous arms and out of yours.

"I got her- thank you so much, Y/n seriously." Jirou said, taking Momo from you.

"Let me know if you need anything else!" You offered as they stumbled down the stairs. "Theyre gonna be okay right?" You asked Ochako.

"Yeah- they always are!" She laughed, turning towards you, then glancing at the bathroom floor.

"Welp- dont wanna be on Bakugous bad side already." You said, picking up the water cup from the floor and dumping it into the sink. Ochako grabbed the crackers from the counter that never got used and wiped the sink off.

"After you." You gestured for her to leave the bathroom first, earning a smile and she led you down to the kitchen where you both took care of the cup and crackers.

"Ya clean it all up?" Bakugou asked, not turning from the stove.

"Yes sir!" You both said in unison, making the both of you laugh.

"Good. Come try this dip." He gathered some dip on two spoons and handed them to you.

"Oh- here-" You held a spoon in front of Ochako's mouth, allowing her to blow on it and make eye contact with you as she put the spoon into her mouth, licking off the dip.

You didnt move or breathe the whole time.

"Super good, Bakugou!" She exclaimed, not breaking eye contact still.

You took a second to quickly taste it. "Mm! No its really good!" You broke the eye contact admiring Bakugou's skills.

Ochako was blushing hard, and wanted to bring you out to dance. She wanted to be close to you. It had been a while since she was genuinely attracted to someone- and she wasnt letting it go to waste.

Grabbing your hand, she ushered you out to the most filled room, wordlessly asking you to dance.

She giggled to you about nonsense as she danced on you. Ochako was grinding on you to every song- as if it was only the two of you in the room. And it was fucking amazing. But it felt too much like she was taking control- and you had something you wanted to make clear.

Without letting your self-doubt get in the way, you tilted her head back while her ass was against your hips, and kissed her. Right there. And holy shit. It was like heavens gates opened.

She turned her body around, giddy that this was moving so fast. It had been too long since she had any girl hit on her and damn did she miss it.

Her hands found your hair and your hands found her ass, making her squeal lightly into your mouth. You took the opportunity to slip your tongue into her mouth, enjoying the feeling of her lightly tugging your hair. It was a messy, teeth clashing, spit inducing kiss that you needed more of.

“Let’s go upstairs-“ she mumbled into the kiss, starting to pull your hand and lead you to the guest room that she knew about. Thank GOD she was good enough friends with these guys to know the layout.

Getting past the bedroom door, you shut it and locked it- there would be no interruptions.

“Y/n, how the hell are you so hot?” Ochako asked, getting comfy on the end of the bed.

“Uraraka, how the hell did you seduce me with dip?” You laughed, meeting her at the edge of the bed, situating yourself between her legs.

You held her face in your hands, admiring the way her eyes shined in the dim lighting of the room. You dipped down and kissed her with intent, ignoring the way your heart had fluttered at the sight of her smiling up at you.

Laying her down without breaking the kiss, you leaned over her, greedy fingers slipping under her skirt. A light moan left her mouth and suddenly you had no need in the world greater than hearing it again.

Your body rested its weight on your knees as your hands opened her thighs. Flipping up her skirt, you toyed with the center of her panties.

“Mmm- don’t tease me!” She squirmed under your touch, whining. Every sound she made was delicious.

Taking her panties down her legs, you were greeted with the most beautiful sight. Her pussy was glistening, begging for you to taste it. So you did.

Using your pointer and middle finger, you spread her lips, taking in the sight of how wet she was. Your tongue touched her slit and she jerked, hips bucking lightly as she gasped.

“Shit- oh my god.” She whispered, looking down and meeting your gaze. Your mouth was all over her slit, your tongue dipping into her tight hole. It was like you were starved, slurping messily to taste every inch of her pussy.

Ochako lifted her top, panting and needing more. Anything. She wanted it all.

Her right hand found your hair, her left hand playing with her nipple. She was panting, chasing her high and subconsciously pushing your face deeper.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as she pushed on your head, grinding against your tongue. Your right had was holding her thigh down while your left looked her her clit. And once you found it, it was game over. You played with it like it was your only purpose in life, making small circles on her clit, drinking in her moans and high pitched pleas.

“Oh my god! Fuck y/n! S-so good!” She whimpered, tugging your hair.

You rubbed your thighs together, craving friction. She tasted so good, you almost forgot to breathe.

Pulling back for a second to gasp in a breath of air your eyes met hers. Her eyes were half lidded and her cheeks were flushed- she was fucking gorgeous.

You buried your face back inbetween her thighs, deciding you needed to taste her cum. Instead of toying with her clit, your fingers dove into her tight hole, making her squeal.

“Fuck- yes!” She yelped out as you glided your fingers over that spot, bringing her closer to her release.

“Cum for me, Ochako.” You pulled back for long enough to urge her closer to the edge.

“R-right there! I’m gonna c- fuck!” She whined, hands grabbing at the sheets on the unfamiliar bed.

You bullied her g-spot, needing her to cum- craving her so deeply.

With a scream, Ochako’s pussy tightened, and you almost stopped. But you didn’t. And she came all over your face. Within a few seconds, your chin was covered in her juices, your fingers becoming pruny as you continued thrusting your fingers in and out of her tightening hole- feeling it flutter around you while you fucked her through her orgasm.

“Jesus fuck- y/n pleaseee-“ Ochako started pleading, her head fuzzy as she came down from her high.

Pulling back from her pussy and wiping her off of your chin, you asked, “What is it baby?”

“Wan’ taste you. So much pl- please.” She whimpered, pushing herself up on her elbow.

In that moment, you knew what you needed.

“Hang on baby hang on. I wanna-“ you stood, leaning down to hold her face in your one clean hand. “- wanna take you back to my place. I wanna take my time with you. Shit. You’re so fucking delicious- I need to savor it.” You admitted in a whisper.

“Take me. Fucking take me, Y/n please.” She finished her plea with a kiss, tasting herself on your mouth- making her whine.

“C’mon baby.” You said, helping her get dressed, wiping your mouth on the inside of your forearm.

Walking downstairs while holding Ochakos hand- helping her a little as well- you found Mina in the crowd.

“Mins! Hey- me and Ochako are heading back- uh to our place.” You said, trying not to get close enough for her to smell you.

“Oh. My god. Uraraka! You and- Jesus Christ! Okay yeah- whatever. I’m gonna make sure i come home late you sluts.” She joked, shooing you with her hand.

“I can drive us.” Ochako said as you walked out of the house without bidding anyone else goodbye. You’d taken not earlier that she was drinking soda- thanking god silently that she hadn’t been drinking alcohol.

“Can you drive fast?” You asked, feeling greedy as the wetness between your legs still grew.

“Sure can, sweetheart. Give me the directions.” She giggled, pulling her keys out.

———

Taglist: @pillboxmb @lovemegood @maggiecc @is-this-ash

!!come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in!!!!