#its been bothering me and I wanted to say something about it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'm reblogging this again because I want to say thank you. Thank you for reminding me why I really love writing.
I've been stuck in a funk for, probably years now, where the primary driving force behind me writing anything was the audience. I loved the stories I was working on, but I was getting burnt out because I felt this weight of obligation to work on them "for my readers". I was left wondering where the joy of writing had fled to.
Enter the OP. This was a huge wake-up call that writing for readers is not fun at all (at least, not for me). It left me wondering why I cared so much about engagement when this was the attitude readers had about it. Why did I even love writing in the first place? Why was writing and telling stories so important to me?
And those last two questions set my muse free.
I looked back at my wips, really paid attention to them, and saw that there are stories that I want to tell. I remembered why I fell in love with these ideas, because I wanted to explore them, because I wanted--and still want--to see what happened next. I'm writing these stories because I love these stories. I think they're cool, I think they're neat, and I want to engage with them and see how they unfold and develop.
The joy of creating. I'd forgotten what it felt like. To just make something because it's fun. Because it tickles my curiosity. Because it makes me feel. Because I love it.
Shouldn't that be our driving force? Shouldn't creative endeavors be, you know, fun? If we spend twelve hours baking a cake, and nobody eats it, are we going to let that ruin the fun we had making the cake? And if it wasn't fun to make, then why are we bothering to make it at all?
We do this in our free time. We do this without being paid. If we do this expecting something in return, we're going to be disappointed. But the joy of creation can reward us all on its own, no likes or kudos or comments required.
Idk, the OP just combined with some other things I was hearing about goals and paying attention to what's important to us, and that gave me a really massive paradigm shift on this whole topic. Why is writing important to us? Why is creating important to us? This goes for readers too: why are these creative pieces important to you? Why are you spending your free time on them? If they brought you joy, why not share that joy with the author/artist/creator?
When our drive changes to joy rather than being bound to audience engagement, it allows us to create more freely. The worth of our project is no longer dependent on the whims of other people. We create because we find joy in it; and if others find joy in it too, all the better!
A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
15K notes
·
View notes
Note
okay steve definitely wouldn’t care about body hair, but i just know that man goes feral over your freshly shaved, smoooooth legs
i took this to make him a sillay boyfriend 🫶 sorry if u wanted HAWTNESS this is just silly LUV…. forgive me
The sheets feel cool against your bare legs.
You can feel the scratch of your hair tucked against your neck but you’re too content, all but sinking into the mattress, to be bothered to move it. Your legs are tucked up, your arms splayed wide across the bed. You’ve just done the hard job of an everything-shower and lying down is your well-earned reward.
Across the room, Steve pulls the curtains to cover the window. Shadow falls across the room, banished after a moment when Steve pads to the bed, turning on the lamp. Amber coats the ceiling.
It’s balmy tonight. You feel warm without even being under the covers. Dozing off sounds like a pretty amazing idea right now.
“Not falling asleep with me, are ya?”
You smile at the sound of Steve’s voice, lifting your heavy eyelids to gaze at him.
He looks scruffy the same way he always does at the end of the day. His hair has lost some of its magnificent volume and he’s wearing a ratty old t-shirt from high school. You can see the beginnings of his five o’clock shadow on his jawline. He’s gorgeous.
And you’re the only one who gets to see him like this. The thought makes you smile wider.
“Mm,” you hum, definitely giving away your sleepiness. “Nope.”
A warm hand touches your knee, Steve’s hand reaching out and rubbing it tenderly. He tsks playfully. “You’re not fooling anyone, baby.”
You huff a quiet laugh and let your eyes fall back closed. Steve’s touch has always had a magnetic property, drawn to you whenever he’s near. It has a similar effect on your heart, which always feels like it’s surging forward in your chest to reach him.
The touch shifts, skimming down your shinbone. You expect him to maybe begin a half-hearted massage on your calves— he’s prone to giving them to you— but then, unexpectedly there’s another touch added to your legs.
You lift your head, peering down at him with squinted eyes. He’s crouched down beside the bed and he’s rubbing his cheek against the smooth skin of your legs.
When he knows he’s been spotted, he only grins, shifting his cheek again. “You’re so… smooooth.”
There’s definitely awe in his voice. You laugh, a real laugh this time, and shake your head. You should really stop being surprised when Steve’s a dork — he’s proven to be one time and time again. If you didn’t know different, you might assume this was his first ever relationship.
“Mhmm,” You hum. “That’s part of the appeal, handsome.”
Something glitters in Steve’s eyes at your pet name for him and his grin melts into something softer. His hand on your shin moves again, stroking softly up your calf. His face shows his bewilderment at your supremely smooth skin— and then betrays the look of mischief that crosses his face.
Your brows furrow instinctively. “Steve—” You warn.
He does it anyway, turning and licking one big stroke up your knee. You squeal, surprised at the sensation, and jerk your leg away from him.
“Steve!”
“What!” He mimics your tone, finally getting up onto the bed and crawling up to meet you. He’s smirking, looking terribly proud of himself. He plops himself down, half of his weight pressing into your shoulder as he nuzzles himself into your neck.
“S’just wanna a little taste, that a crime?”
His breath is hot and almost tickles against your neck. It’s impossible not to dissolve into quiet giggles, leaning into him. He snakes an arm around your waist, pulling the two of you closer.
“You’re a dork.”
You can feel the little puff of air he lets out in a laugh as well as the smile that spreads on his mouth. He pokes his tongue out, a minuscule touch against your neck that has you shrieking again— except this time, Steve’s holding you too tight to squirm away.
“Mmhm,” He says. “Your dork.”
You grin, turning to nose against his temple and make a noise of agreement. “Absolutely.”
#this blog kinda has insane energy like…. i wrote that in one go in 20 mins#perhaps not impressive to some but considering it took me like a whole day to mince out 600 words#i’m so PLEASED to have it feel easy#i hope u enjoy some fluff#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve x reader#jay writes#steve harrington fluff#tumblr post it in the tags or this guy 🧍♂️ dies 🔪
224 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do it again, and things will get ugly.
Yandere skz not pleased with your little habit—make sure you understand that.
Hyung line, Maknae line
Stray Kids Masterlist 1.0 & 2.0
Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨
Han
You’re completely immersed in your book, the world around you fading as you turn the pages. Reading is your favorite escape, a quiet comfort that brings you peace. But just as you’re sinking deeper into the story, a hand suddenly snatches the book out of your grasp. You blink, startled, realizing that Han is standing in front of you. Without warning, he hurls the book across the room with a force that sends it crashing against the wall, the loud thud jolting you out of your peaceful reverie. The book lands on the floor, pages crumpled, and for a moment, you’re too stunned to speak. “Have you even noticed I’ve been here this whole time?” His voice cuts through the silence, filled with a sharp edge of anger that makes your heart skip a beat. “Are those stupid words more interesting to you than me?” There’s frustration in his tone, but there’s something else too—a raw vulnerability, as if he’s trying to mask his own insecurities with anger. You look up at him, seeing the mixture of hurt and irritation in his eyes. It’s more than just frustration; it’s a deep-seated insecurity that rears its head every time you lose yourself in your hobbies.
He hates the way your books seem to draw you away, making him feel like an outsider, as if he’s competing with words on a page for your attention. And no matter how much he tries to ignore it, it eats at him, making him question how much you truly care. He lets out a harsh breath, running a hand through his hair as if trying to steady himself. “Do you even care that I’m here?” he demands, his voice breaking slightly. “Or am I just supposed to sit around, watching you get lost in your own world, feeling like I don’t even exist to you?” His words hang in the air, heavy and filled with an ache he can’t fully hide. You open your mouth to respond, but he continues, the frustration spilling over. “Maybe I should just burn all those books—would that finally get your attention? Make you look at me, instead of always burying yourself in them?” There’s a desperation in his voice now, a vulnerability that’s almost painful to witness, as if he’s baring a part of himself he doesn’t want you to see. For him, it’s not just about the books or your hobbies—it’s about the fear that maybe he’s not enough to hold your attention, that he’ll never mean as much to you as those stories do.
And as he stands there, waiting for you to say something, you can see how much this truly bothers him, how much he longs for reassurance that he’s not invisible to you. "If you want to keep those books, you'd better not get too lost in them," he says, his voice low and firm, each word measured and carrying an unmistakable warning. He steps closer, his gaze never leaving yours, trapping you between his arms as he braces himself on either side of you. The intensity in his eyes pins you in place, leaving you feeling cornered, as if there’s nowhere to escape his scrutiny. "I don’t like it when you ignore me," he continues, his tone tinged with a simmering frustration. His eyes are dark and unwavering, searching yours as if demanding an answer, needing to know that you understand what he’s saying. There’s a raw, almost possessive edge in his voice, a silent insistence that you remember he’s here—that he’s the one who should have your attention. He leans in slightly, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his breath, his presence consuming the space between you. “Make sure you’ve got that in your mind,” he says, his voice soft yet laced with a hint of a warning, as if he’s daring you to look away or challenge him.
Felix
Felix’s grip on his glass tightens so much that his knuckles turn a stark white against the dark wood of the bar. He watches you, his gaze unwavering, stormy, his jaw set hard as if biting back words he doesn't want to say. Every so often, he brings his drink to his lips, taking a slow, controlled sip, but his eyes never leave you. His attention is riveted on you, locked onto the way you throw your head back with laughter, the way you lean in, smiling, as you engage with the people around you. He’s watching every detail, every casual brush of your hand, every animated gesture, every sparkling smile you offer to those sitting beside you. The laughter surrounding you fills the space like a bright, airy melody, but in Felix’s mind, it’s a sound that grates on his nerves, reminding him of something he hates to admit, something he can’t help but resent. He watches you throw yourself into every conversation with that effortless charm of yours, capturing everyone’s attention without even trying. It's something he’s never understood about you—the way you seem drawn to the energy and approval of others, the way you seem to thrive under their gaze.
And you do it all so naturally, like it’s second nature to you, as if it’s simply who you are. But the thought gnaws at him, unsettling him in a way he can’t control. Why do you care so much about what they think? He wonders why his own presence, his own attention, doesn’t seem to be enough for you. Isn’t that all you need? He’s always been there, always the one standing closest to you, watching you, knowing all the little things that make you laugh, the ways your eyes light up, the little gestures you make when you’re deep in conversation. But as much as he knows you, as much as he feels connected to you, this part of you—the part that shines for everyone—remains just beyond his grasp. As soon as the two of you were alone, he grabbed your arm and dragged you back to his place, his grip firm and unrelenting. The door slammed shut behind you, echoing through the room and leaving a tension that was thick and unsettling. His sudden change in demeanor left you feeling uneasy, a knot forming in the pit of your stomach. He fixed you with a cold, penetrating stare, his gaze so intense it felt like it was stripping away every layer of defense you had.
"Is it fun getting their attention?" he asked, his voice low and laced with a quiet rage that made his words all the more frightening. The question hung in the air, his deep voice dripping with accusation, making it feel like he could shatter you with just a look. "Is it fun to bask in anyone else's attention but mine? Because from where I’m standing," he continued, his eyes never leaving yours, "it doesn’t look like there’s anything ‘good’ in you having me but acting like you’re so starved for attention that you have to seek it from anyone else, like some lonely soul without a lover." He took a few slow, deliberate steps toward you, each one calculated, closing the distance between you as his towering frame loomed over you. The intensity in his eyes didn’t waver, and you could feel the weight of his words pressing down on you, making it hard to breathe. "This is my warning," he murmured, his voice chilling and measured. "Consider yourself lucky. If I find out you pull something like that again, I’ll make sure you never have the chance to grab anyone’s attention. Ever again." The promise was dark and unmistakable, sending a shiver through you as his gaze held you firmly in place, every word he said echoing in your mind.
Seungmin
It felt profoundly unfair to Seungmin when you didn’t show any gratitude for all the effort he poured into everything he did for you. Every small gesture, every thoughtful act, meant the world to him, yet your indifference stung deeply. He couldn't shake off the frustration that churned within him, particularly when he sensed your ignorance of all his hard work. As you simply nodded at the dessert he had painstakingly learned to make once he discovered it was your favorite, he felt a flicker of anger ignite inside him. The spoon he held felt like a fragile thing in his grip, and he squeezed it tightly, his knuckles turning white as he struggled to contain his emotions. Moments later, unable to bear it any longer, he slammed the spoon onto the table with a sharp clatter that broke the silence, the sound reverberating in the air like a sudden thunderclap. He stood up abruptly, the movement sending a ripple of shock through the room, and began to circle the dining table, his frustration palpable with each stride he took toward you.
He stopped directly in front of you, his expression a mix of hurt and exasperation. “Do you even realize how much I put into this?” he demanded, his voice low but charged with emotion. “I wanted to do something special for you, and all you can do is nod?” The tension between you crackled, and he could feel his heart racing, caught between his desire to express his feelings and the hurt that came from your apparent indifference. His hand trembled with barely contained anger as he faced you, the tension in the air thickening with each passing moment. “All the things I do for you...” he began, his voice strained, carrying the weight of his frustration. He stopped for a moment, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, trying to rein in the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to spill over. He needed to calm himself, to gather his thoughts before he let his anger get the best of him. “All the things!” he continued, his voice rising slightly as he struggled to keep his composure. “Can’t you at least say a damn thank you?” The plea hung in the air, echoing with a mix of desperation and hurt.
He looked at you, searching for any sign of acknowledgment, any hint that you recognized the effort he poured into every small gesture, every thoughtful act he had done for you. "Eat this. Now." Seungmin’s voice was low but laced with an intensity that made your pulse quicken. His eyes held a stern, unyielding gaze, the kind that left no room for argument. He leaned in closer, his tone taking on a dangerous edge as he spoke, "And from now on, you’re going to be more aware, more grateful for every single damn thing I do for you. Understand?" He held out the spoon firmly, his grip tightening as if daring you to defy him. The way he looked at you made it clear that he expected nothing less than compliance. His expression was a mixture of frustration and something else, something deeper, that sent a chill down your spine. "You wouldn’t want to see me mad again, would you?" he added, his voice dropping to a quiet but potent warning. The threat lingered in the air, a reminder of the weight his anger carried, and his gaze bore into you, making it clear that he expected you to listen.
Jeongin
He gets visibly frustrated whenever he sees you stumble or drop something, his eyes always drawn to your every clumsy move, each one stirring his concern. Ironically, he’s just as prone to accidents himself; he knows firsthand how easy it is to get hurt in a split second. Perhaps that’s exactly why his frustration with you grows—it’s not just annoyance but genuine worry because he knows just how much a small misstep can lead to something serious, as he's experienced so many times himself. To keep you safe, he’s become hyper-vigilant, watching over you more closely than you might like. He practically has eyes in the back of his head, always noticing when you’re about to trip or reach for something potentially hazardous. Sometimes, his protectiveness feels almost smothering; he keeps such a close watch that you feel he’s always in the room with you, guiding your every movement, as if trying to control every factor around you. Even when he’s not physically present, you’ll receive a flurry of messages, checking in on what you’re doing and reminding you to be cautious.
Just as your fingers hover over the knife handle, his hand darts out, intercepting you with a firm grasp. “How many times have I told you not to cook by yourself?” he says sharply, his tone tinged with impatience and a protectiveness that feels like it’s crossed the line into control. His gaze is unwavering, locked onto you with an intensity that leaves no room for argument. You let out a sigh, a flicker of frustration and defiance slipping into your voice as you answer, “But I want to. I can handle it. I’m not as helpless as you think.” His expression doesn’t soften for a moment. If anything, your words only seem to harden his resolve. “Just because you want to,” he begins, his voice a low, steady warning, “you think that means I’m going to stand by and let you mess with something that could hurt you?” His eyes flash with an almost parental authority, a refusal to back down. “That’s not how this works.” With a purposeful motion, he nudges the knife away from your reach with the toe of his shoe, making his stance clear.
“If I say no, it’s no,” he states firmly, his voice carrying an edge that’s impossible to ignore. He grips your wrist with a sudden, unyielding force, his fingers pressing into your skin hard enough to make you wince. The pressure is intense, almost as if he wants to leave a lasting mark, a reminder of his control. His gaze is sharp, locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your stomach churn. “Understand?” he asks, his voice low and clipped, each word carrying a weight that makes his intentions unmistakably clear. “You’re going to do exactly what I tell you,” he continues, his voice tightening. “If I ever catch you doing something I told you not to…” He pauses, allowing the silence to hang between you, thick and charged. His eyes hold yours, unblinking, dark with a fierce resolve that sends a chill down your spine. “I’ll make sure you learn to obey me.” The words linger in the air, a promise and a threat, making it clear that he won’t tolerate any disobedience. His grip remains firm, unyielding, almost daring you to defy him as he lets the message settle in, making sure you know exactly what he expects from you.
#stray kids changbin#stray kids hyunjin#stray kids jeongin#stray kids seungmin#stray kids bang chan#stray kids felix#stray kids han#stray kids masterlist#stray kids lee know#stray kids imagine#stray kids au#stray kids imagines#stray kids yandere#stray kids reaction#stray kids reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids x reader#stray kids#skz changbin#skz chan#skz jeongin#skz han#skz hyunjin#skz seungmin#skz felix#skz minho#skz scenarios#skz imagines#skz yandere#skz reactions
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
a lover's redemption | chapter 3
chapter 3. the new normal
pairing ↠ mafia leader!park jimin x reader
genre ↠ mafia AU — romance/action (angst, fluff, smut)
summary ↠ Blood, business and betrayal is all that Park Jimin has ever known, but when you cross paths again, the stakes are raised even higher and he finds himself battling his conscience, and his heart.
word count ↠ 13.3k
18+ | warnings ↠ drinking, explicit sexual content, violence, all sorts of crime (please see the series masterlist for a complete list of warnings).
taglist is open – dm/comment/send an ask to be added <3
notes ↠ please enjoy and shareeeee xxoxoxox and pls share your thoughts w me as we get into it ;) also in case its not clear, jimin's birth year in the fic is 1995, same as real life, and Y/N is 2 years younger than him. I always put the year for any flashbacks so you can work out how old they are :) any confusion, please let me know (i might make a mistake!) thanks angels! <3
17th July 2009
The heavy scent of cigar smoke lingered in the room, curling around the dark oak furniture. Jimin sat quietly beside his father, his small legs barely brushing the floor. Across from them, Lee Han-Jae exhaled a long puff of his cigar, looking tired.
“They confirmed the crash?” Jihoon asked, his tone devoid of warmth.
Jimin did not know what accident his uncle and father had planned but he knew that his father had been on edge all day because of it.
Han-Jae nodded. “Mostly. But he's gone.” He downed what was left of his drink. “Did we take care of the family?”
Jihoon swirls his glass. “We’ll let them go, they have no one.”
“Except Kija and Min-Baek-hyun,” Han-jae counters.
“They mean nothing to us.”
“But they were loyal to Sehun.”
Upon hearing this, Jimin goes still, realising what’s happened.
“Their loyalty was not just to Sehun but the entire Han family. They will protect them at all costs and they’ve been in this long enough to know not to retaliate if they want to keep themselves safe.”
Han-Jae says nothing else of the matter but his face does little to mask his disapproval. He took another puff of his cigar before he spoke again. “The other two men survived. Escaped before the flames could finish the job. They’re digging through the wreckage, but the police are sniffing around."It seems dental records are proving... inconvenient.”
Jihoon’s eyes narrowed, his jaw clenching. “Inconvenient?” he echoed. “The detectives are a problem?”
Han-Jae waved a dismissive hand. “Nothing we can’t handle.”
“Funny,” Jihoon said, leaning forward slightly. “You said the same thing about the last case they opened. And now I hear whispers about them building something bigger — trafficking charges. Another detective’s on the case, isn’t he?” His tone sharpened. “You’ve been careless, Han-Jae.”
The room tensed, the air thick with unsaid threats. Han-Jae stiffened, his smirk faltering for the briefest moment. “Watch your tongue, Jihoon.”
Jihoon’s lip curled. “You’ve been playing dirty, using our resources to fund your side business."
Han-Jae remained indifferent. "You'll be asking for a share soon. All the pieces are almost complete and this detective is nothing more than a bump in the road. I'll deal with it."
"That's besides the point. I trusted you and you're acting foolishly."
"Foolishly?"
"Is it not?" Jihoon asked, patronising.
Jimin watched as Han-Jae got up wordlessly and walked over to his cabinet. He picked up the decanter and generously poured himself some whiskey.
“I’ve given you more than enough leash,” Jihoon continued, his voice rising. “But if you think I’ll let you drag my name down with yours, think again.”
Han-Jae emptied his glass before he turned, his face a mask of fury. “We’ll talk about this later,” he spat. “We have somewhere to be.”
Jihoon didn’t bother responding. Instead, he turned his attention to Jimin, his gaze cold and commanding. “Get a gun.”
Jimin froze, his blood turning to ice. His lips parted, but no sound came out.
“Now,” Jihoon snapped, his tone sharp enough to cut. "Then meet me by the car."
Jihoon left the room and Jimin followed, his legs moving before his mind could catch up. He went towards the basement, down the stairs and past the training floor, all the way to the locked room at the back. Some of his father's men watched as he walked, but none said a word. Hands trembling, he pressed his thumb to the scanner and waited for the door to unlock, revealing an entire array of weapons lining the walls.
Jimin didn't think. He picked up the first handgun he saw, checked it was loaded and then walked out with the cold metal feeling alien in his grasp, the weight far heavier than he anticipated.
Without realising it, his feet carried him to the kitchen, where his mother stood slicing vegetables. She turned at the sound of his shaky breathing, her eyes immediately softening when she saw the gun in his hands.
“Jimin,” she whispered, crossing the room in an instant. She crouched down in front of him, pulling him into a gentle hug. The faint scent of lavender filled his nose, momentarily drowning out the suffocating reality around him.
“I can’t,” he mumbled against her shoulder. “I can’t do it.”
His mother’s embrace tightened. “I never wanted this for you, Jimin,” she murmured, her voice thick with regret. “I’m so sorry.” She pulled back, brushing his hair from his face with trembling fingers. “But this is your life now. Your father won’t wait. If you don’t go back, he’ll only get angrier.”
Jimin shook his head. “Why do you let him—” His voice broke off and a single tear rolled down his cheek.
"I'm so sorry." Her face crumpled, but she quickly composed herself and closed his fingers around the gun. “You have to go now, before he comes looking for you.”
Reluctantly, he nodded, his small frame trembling as she kissed his forehead and guided him toward the door.
The container yard smelled of damp concrete and iron, the air thick and stifling. As Jimin stepped out of the car, he immediately spotted Kwan and Duri ahead of them.
Jihoon and Han-Jae walked ahead while Taemin and Jimin followed behind. As they went further into the yard, around a dark corner, Jimin glanced at Taemin, hoping for some kind of answer. Taemin, barely older than Jimin, gave a reassuring smile of sorts when Jimin glanced his way, but it did little to make him feel better. Jimin figured he knew where they were going since he and his dad spoke often.
Duri pulled the heavy door of one of the containers open as they approached and both fathers stopped short outside of the container. Han-Jae laughed mirthlessly and they both stepped aside for Jimin and Taemin to see.
Two detectives knelt on the floor, their faces bloodied and swollen, their hands tied tightly behind their backs.
Suddenly, the dead weight of the gun in his hand felt heavy again.
Jihoon glanced over his shoulder. “Stay here,” he ordered both boys.
Taemin, barely older than Jimin, gave a solemn nod but said nothing.
Jihoon stepped into the container, and crouched in front of one of the detectives, his voice low but menacing. “I warned you to stay out of my business. But now, you’re here. What do you have to say for yourself?”
The detective spat at Jihoon’s feet, earning himself a sharp backhand. Jihoon stood, motioning to Jimin. “Come here.”
Jimin hesitated, his heart pounding in his chest.
“Now, Jimin."
Taemin looked between them and gently nudged Jimin forward. "Go on," he whispered.
Reluctantly, Jimin got closer, his eyes glued to the ground.
"This man is a threat to us,” Jihoon said, calmly. “End him.”
Jimin’s breath hitched. “I-I can’t—”
Jihoon’s hand lashed out, striking him hard enough to send him stumbling. “You’re weak,” he snarled, stepping close to Jimin and speaking low in his ear. “Your mother’s made you soft.”
Jimin’s head snapped up and he ignored the harsh stinging sensation on his cheek. “Is that why you always send her away?” he asked, teeth gritted. “To keep her away from me?”
Jihoon froze, his face darkening. For a moment, Jimin thought he might strike him again. But instead, Jihoon looked right at Jimin and spoke, his voice icy. “She chooses to leave. Every time she walks out that door, it’s her choice. And it’s time you grew up and realised that.”
Jimin’s grip on the gun tightened, his knuckles white. He didn't look at the man before him but raised his arm, finger closing around the trigger. "You're right," Jimin said, voice low. "It is time I grew up."
The gunshot echoed through the warehouse, the sound ringing in Jimin’s ears long after the man’s body hit the floor.
Jihoon’s voice cut through the haze. “Finally.”
But Jimin didn’t hear him. All he could see was the blood, pooling and spreading across the cold concrete. All he could feel was the weight of his father’s shadow, pressing down on him, suffocating him.
Jihoon glanced at Han-Jae, his lip curling in irritation. “You deal with the other one.”
Han-Jae smiled thinly, his hand settling on Taemin’s shoulder. “Go on, son.”
Taemin hesitated, his youthful face pale under the dim light of the yard's lights. He glanced at Jimin, whose expression was frozen in a mix of horror and detachment, and then back at his father.
Han-Jae’s smile faded. “Do you want to disappoint me?”
The weight of that question hung heavy in the air, and Taemin swallowed hard, but slowly, he stepped forward.
The second detective, bloodied and trembling, began to plead incoherently, his words dissolving into a sob.
Jimin’s stomach churned violently. He couldn’t bear to watch as Taemin raised the gun with far steadier hands than his own, nor could he endure the suffocating tension of the warehouse any longer. His voice was hoarse as he muttered, “I’m going to the car.”
Jihoon turned his head slightly but didn’t object. “Fine. Go.”
The indifference in his father’s voice stung more than any reprimand. Jimin moved toward the exit, his legs unsteady but quickening with each step.
The sound of the gunshot rang out just as he stepped out of the container, the echo chasing him into the night.
The air outside was still warm despite it being well past midnight. Jimin usually loved late summer nights like this but not today. As he walked around the bend, he felt more hot, and the humidity worsened the thick, suffocating tension inside.
He made it only a few steps further before his stomach betrayed him. Rushing over towards a stack of crates, he retched violently. The contents of his dinner surged upwards and all Jimin could hope was that he was far away enough from his dad.
His throat burned, and his body trembled as he leaned a hand against the cold metal for support.
When the heaving subsided, the silence around him felt deafening. His mind was a storm of guilt and revulsion. He could still see the detective’s lifeless eyes in his mind, and worse, as he still held the gun now, he kept imagining his finger was still around the trigger.
“This is your life now,” his mother’s voice echoed in his head, her words a hollow comfort against the growing ache in his chest.
His throat tightened, and for a brief moment, he felt the urge to cry. But the tears didn’t come. They couldn’t — not here, not now. He took a deep breath, forcing air into his lungs until the sharpness of it dulled his emotions. He repeated the motion over and over, steadying himself, quieting the chaos within.
Jimin wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve and straightened up. His legs felt heavier than before as he trudged toward the car, but by the time he reached it, his breaths had evened out, and his face was expressionless once more.
Sliding into the back seat, he leaned his head against the window and the chill of the glass grounded him.
As he sat there in silence, the weight of his actions settled like stones in his chest, and he knew this wouldn't be the last time.
Present day
It takes you a while to come to your senses, your fuzzy mind drifting in and out of sleep, telling yourself that you’re dreaming every time your eyes half open to see the surroundings of a room which isn’t yours. Your head sinks back into the feather filled pillow, your breathing is slow and steady and you remain completely still as you wait to wake up in your own bed, in your own home.
But it doesn’t happen.
As you start to focus on the feeling of your chest rising and falling with each breath, your eyes flutter open fully and everything comes rushing back to you. Seojun lying helplessly on your kitchen floor, Minjun and the men flooding your kitchen, Dani and Siho dying to protect you. And Jimin.
The thought of it all hurts your head, and you push the thoughts down, focusing on something else for now. You have many questions and you’ll make sure to get answers, but right now, one thing you’re sure of, is that you’re safe.
Looking around the room you’re in, you faintly recognise the large wooden doors and particular coving style on the walls. You spent more than a few days running around the halls of this estate, hiding and playing in the rooms belonging to the boy you were once friends with — now the man who saved your life…
It hasn’t escaped you, that had Jimin and his men not walked in when they did, Minjun would’ve killed you after he got whatever information he needed from you.
You’ve never forgotten him, and now it seems like an odd sort of fate that you’ve ended up entangled in some kind of mess with him, thanks to Seojun.
There’s definitely something going on, because there must’ve been a reason why Seojun was in your house, why he spent those late evenings at the cafe just trying to have a conversation with you.
Looking next to you on the nightstand, you see your phone and purse, as well as a few of the other items you had in your pocket and your first thought is to call Yoongi. Whatever’s going on, you need to tell him and he might know something too.
There’s also a small bowl of fresh fruit on the nightstand and a bottle of water — a small reminder that you’re safe here.
As you reach for your phone, you feel a mild throbbing pain in your wrist. You almost forgot that Minjun cut you, but the wound is neatly bandaged now. Pushing the sheets back, you look down at your thigh to see it’s also been bandaged and you’re almost certain you’ll find stitches under there. You’re also wearing clothes that aren’t yours — a loose tee and baggy basketball shorts. You don’t remember anything since falling unconscious but you’re sure one of the housemaids must’ve dressed you.
Reaching for your phone again, you expect to see a call from your grandma since she normally calls you every morning, but your home screen shows no notifications except the many security camera notifications which you’re sure must show the events that took place at your home – you might be able to use it to identify a few of the men who were there, Yoongi certainly would be able to help you with that.
Unlocking your phone, you open up your contacts and scroll through to find Yoongi’s name. Just before you can press call, there’s a knock at the door. Pausing, you look up and a few seconds later, the handle turns slowly.
A slim man enters the room, dressed sharply head to toe in a suit… Your eyes widen, and suddenly, everything makes sense.
“Yoongi.”
He smiles, though somewhat apologetically.”Y/N.” Walking over to your bed, he doesn’t hesitate to pull up the chair that sits in front of the dressing table and bring it beside your bed. While your thoughts race, Yoongi sits quietly and waits.
He’s been working for Jimin, of course he has – his dad was close with yours and Jimin, and after your father’s death, his dad, Min Baek-hyun, stayed close with your grandparents and still resides close to your grandma in Namwon, while Yoongi stayed in Seoul. All these years, you’ve stayed close friends with Yoongi, not knowing he was so close with Jimin too – someone you once considered a best friend.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” you ask finally.
“I didn’t want to complicate things,” he murmurs, looking up. As soon as you meet his gaze, you know what he means by that…
You still remember that night, a few months ago, when Yoongi asked you to take out the Cheong men at the warehouse holding the drugs. For the first time, you asked for something in return – for him to help you find who killed your dad. It was the fact that he looked away as soon as you said the words that told you he already knew.
“I need something in return.”
Yoongi lifted his head calmly. “Is everything okay?”
You nodded, placing the key down on the table. “Just, promise me you’ll do it first.”
At this, Yoongi’s expression changed to one of concern and he hesitated.
Meeting his gaze, you said his name. “Please.”
“Alright.” Yoongi shifted, keeping his eyes on you. “I promise.”
There was a moment of silence as you mulled the words over in your head. It had been on your mind for a while, something you’d been considering often for the last few months, since you passed what would’ve been your father’s fifty fifth birthday. Not a day had gone by that you didn't miss him, and you’d known since his death that the last place he was called to, wasn’t a timely coincidence. You may have only been 12 at the time of his death, but your father always taught you to be aware of everything, and you’d noticed the tension between him and his friends for months before that night. Even the fact that you hadn’t seen Jimin in years, and the way Jihoon always disregarded your presence – that is before your father limited their visits to your family home. He was trying to protect you from them.
“I want to know who killed my dad.”
The words felt strange on your tongue – though your dad’s murder wasn’t a secret to you, you didn’t often speak about it so forwardly, especially not to Yoongi.
Concern returned to the lines in his face, brows furrowing as he shook his head and reached for your hand. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
You moved your hand from the table before he could hold it. “You know.”
He paused, eyes flitting down to where your hand was. Releasing a slow sigh, he closed his eyes. “And I think you already know.”
The anger and frustration you’d been holding on to for years began to surface.“It was them, wasn’t it?”
Yoongi looked up. “Y/N–”
“Lee Han-jae? And Park Jihoon?”
Yoongi gave the smallest of nods, and your fist curled in your lap.
“Do you know why?”
“Y/N, please, don’t��”
“You promised, Yoongi.”
Meeting your gaze, Yoongi sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
“Everything.”
So he did…
Na Doyun was a corrupt prosecutor who worked for the Lee’s, keeping them out of trouble as long as they paid her well enough. It was the perfect deal until some of the DA became suspicious of Doyun’s intentions and motivations, and she panicked, demanding more money, as well as a way for her to launder all the funds she was receiving.
The Lee’s had no choice but to comply since she had enough dirt on them to put them away for life, (as well as a supposed contingency plan that would expose them should they try anything to harm her), and so Han-jae developed a nightclub under his name and added Doyun as a majority shareholder, as well as a few others under his influence. It became one of the most popular nightclubs in all of Seoul and the perfect place for any illicit activity,
“The one that closed down months ago?” you asked, vaguely remembering. You were sure you'd followed more than a few unsuspecting victims of Yoongi’s from there on one of your errands for him..
“Yes. They have a few all over Seoul but none as big as that one. And you remember Taemin?”
“Lee’s son?”
“Yes.”
You barely saw Lee Taemin growing up. Though he was close in age to Jimin and you, his father had sent him to school in the United States. There were a few occasions where you were there together but unlike Jimin, he barely spared you more than a glance.
“Closing the club was intentional on their part. Han-jae wanted Taemin to replace it with something much bigger and better.”
“The Benitoite.”
Yoongi nodded. “A clever move on his part. The nightclub was becoming a hot spot and that was risky for them. After years of illegal trading, predatory lending and more, they had to find a way to get rid of any liabilities who used to frequent the club for their own gain, and with the Benitoite, they got the DA off their backs while attracting a whole new world, as well as another way to make their money clean again.” Looking up, Yoongi carried on. “Once that was done, Doyun had nothing left to hold over them.”
“They killed her?”
Another nod.
Your hand tightened around the fob. You couldn’t say you felt bad for the woman, she was corrupt after all and served men doing worse than herself, but it still didn’t make any of this easier to hear.
Yoongi sighed, his hand moving towards yours. “You okay?”
“Fine. Tell me.”
“When that nightclub before the Benitoite first opened, your dad wasn’t opposed to it so he never said anything. But, Jihoon or Han-jae weren’t just abiding by what Doyun wanted, they both saw an opportunity and wanted to run part of the nightclub as a secret brothel for invited guests only, those who would pay enough.”
Yoongi looked up apprehensively, but he saw your expression and continued.
“They knew anyone who knew of them, or had any kind of business with them, feared them, so they used that. If there was anyone who had done them wrong, or owed them money, they offered them a way out. Hundreds and millions worth of debt in exchange for years of service, and they didn’t care who it was.
“A mother, father, son, daughter, brother or sister. Any relation to the person who owed them was good enough and as you can imagine, none of the actual offenders offered themselves so it was all innocent family members being taken in. They would kidnap them and coerce them into working there doing whatever it was that needed to be done too. The whole thing was set up as a way for them to earn honest money to pay back whatever was owed.”
You looked up, repulsed. These are the men you once regarded as your uncles, seeing them as your dad’s friends you thought of them as family while growing up. It’s true that as you got older, you started to feel a certain way towards Jihoon because of how cold he was, especially with Jimin, but this was still beyond anything you would’ve expected of them.
“So that’s why they killed my dad?”
Yoongi shook his head. “Not exactly.” Pausing, he studied your expression for a few seconds before he leaned over the table to grasp your hand. After a gentle squeeze, he let go. “There was a lot happening around that time, I don’t know the details but the way Han-jae and Jihoon saw it, is that your dad became soft. When he first found out about the nightclub he was angry and threatened both of them.”
Your stomach curled.
“They wanted to appease him so they said they would reconsider.”
“But they didn’t.”
“No. And truthfully I don’t think your dad ever believed them anyway.”
It went quiet, the distant humming of car engines along a nearby busy road carried the sound of your thoughts as they ran endlessly.
Yoongi took another sip of his milk, watching you carefully. “Y/N,” he spoke softly. “I can tell you the rest another time.”
You looked across at home, taking a slow breath. You do feel like you’ve heard enough, but you need to know. “What more is there? They killed him after that, no?”
Traces of a grimace appeared on Yoongi’s face. “Not quite.” He paused, waiting.
Wordlessly, you nodded for him to continue.
“Did you know Han-jae was married twice?”
Nodding, you remembered his step-daughter, Jiyoung. She looked after you occasionally, but like Taemin, she wasn’t always there. “Yeah, his first wife passed away but Jiyoung was from her, right?”
“Not exactly, Jiyoung wasn’t Han-jae’s daughter.”
Now, this was news to you.
“And her mom wasn’t a huge fan of Han-jae, their marriage was arranged after her first husband died, and she had plenty of reasons to dislike the man and he felt the same, except she always threatened to expose him.”
The arranged marriage wasn’t a surprise to you, as it was common amongst many of your father’s affluent friends, including your own parents, but you hadn’t known that Han-jae’s first wife despised him.
“After she died, Jiyoung got older, she looked more like her mother, acted more like her, and Han-jae didn’t like her just as much as she didn’t like him, so… he saw an opportunity to get rid of her.”
Eyes widening, you asked, “The nightclub?”
Yoongi nodded, looking down. “But your dad saved her.”
Despite the warm evening breeze, you feel your skin go cold.
Yoongi continues. “He knew something was going on and he happened to be there the night she was being taken. He killed the men and took her away to a safe place, out of the country.”
And just like that, it all made sense. “So that’s why they killed him.”
Taking your hand again, Yoongi nodded silently. “It was a means to an end for them,” he murmured. “Han-jae and Jihoon had changed. They weren’t who your dad befriended and their morals and ambitions were far from the same.”
Yoongi’s words were said to comfort you, but they only fueled your anger… your dad’s closest friends, the men who he regarded as brothers, were the ones who killed him.
That conversation felt like a lifetime ago, and as you see Yoongi sitting in front of you now, you understand why he chose not to tell you, but you can’t help but feel a tiny bit betrayed.
“Still could’ve told me,” you mumble, looking away from him.
“Would it have made a difference to anything?” he asks, leaning forward with a playful smile.
Realising he’s right, you frown indignantly. “Might’ve stopped this,” you say, knowing it’s a weak point.
Yoongi’s expression darkens. Shaking his head slowly, he meets your gaze. “Nothing could’ve stopped this.”
Seojun is the first person that comes to your mind, and you feel your stomach coil.
Reaching to hold your leg over the covers, Yoongi says your name. “You need to tell me everything you know.”
Nodding, you push the mental image of Seojun out of your mind. “I don’t actually know much,” you start, “Seojun had been coming into the cafe around once a week and would talk to me, just small talk. He must’ve known who I was but I didn’t realise until the last time. He seemed worried about something and kept asking me about grandma, and when she called, he’d left and there was a note on the table.” Looking towards the night stand where your belongings are, you see the note you pocketed then, and the drive is there too. You take them both, handing the note to Yoongi. “This is what it said.”
Yoongi takes a few seconds to read the simple words, She’s the only family you have left. You should stay with her. Frowning, Yoongi lowers it to the bed. “He must’ve known, but I don’t know how.” Looking up, he asks, “you never told him anything about your grandma?”
“No,” you shake your head. “He just knew.” Thinking of this, you suddenly remember all those conversations you had with Seojun… he had a girlfriend. “Yoongi?” You meet his gaze with worried eyes. “He had a girlfriend.”
Yoongi’s expression softens, lips pursing. “Yeona. She knows. She lives here with us, she moved in with Seojun a year ago.”
Nodding your head slowly, you look away. You don’t bother asking how she’s doing, that would be a pointless question – you could tell how much Seojun loved her and from the stories he told you, you’re certain she loved him just as much, she must be heartbroken. The thought of it reminds you of the night your dad passed away… you’d never seen your mom in so much pain.
As your emotions begin to swirl heavily again, you look up at Yoongi. “Did he not say anything at all about what he’d been doing?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “We knew he was up to something, but Jimin told us to let him be.” Again, Yoongi’s expression looks pained.
“Why?”
“A few weeks back, Jimin had one of their clubs raided by the police on the same night they were receiving a weapons shipment and there’s since been a good few detectives on their case. Taemin’s uncle got some time in prison for it and even though he’s out, they still wanted to send a message to Jimin, a way to get back at him… so they killed Seojun’s mom.”
The words wound the knot in your stomach even tighter. “So Seojun wanted to get back at them?”
Nodding, Yoongi shakes his head. “Jimin warned him not to, he promised they’d work it out together and end things for once, but Seojun was angry. Once we figured out he was up to something, Jimin told us to leave him and once Seojun had a plan, we’d join in on it.” Releasing a shaky breath, Yoongi looks down. “We never got to find out what it was, and each week we’d see him less and less. Everyone here knows how to look after themselves, but now I wish we’d taken more care.”
Seojun was a friend to everyone here, Yoongi included, you realise. You know you ought to comfort him but you don’t think you know how. “I’m sorry, Yoongi,” you murmur.
He gives a small smile. “Finish telling me what happened.”
Sitting back into the cushions again, you recall the events from that night. “I left work as normal, came home and when I went upstairs, something felt off. So I went back down, and then I saw him in my kitchen, he was bleeding, barely conscious on the floor and I ran over to him. I tried to help him but he kept apologising, and then he gave me this.” Looking down, you hand the drive to Yoongi.
Confused, Yoongi turns it over in his hand. “Did he say what’s on it?”
“No,” you shake your head. “And it’s probably protected too since the Lee’s wanted it as well. But he told me to take it and find Jimin.” At this, Yoongi looks up and meets your gaze. “He kept saying he’d keep me safe and that I should leave him and go.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I couldn’t. He needed help, but it was too late. When I was about to get out, Minjun and some of his men came in. Seojun tried to help me but in the end…” you trail off, looking down. “In the end it was Minjun questioning me, asking me who I am. I lied, of course.” You finish telling Yoongi the rest of what happened, up until when Jimin and his men came in.
When you’re done, Yoongi is cursing under his breath. “Minjun was a fucking psychopath.”
“Yeah, he seems like it,.” You remember the way he laughed when Jimin was punching him.
“He has a brother, Kwan, he’s just as crazy, if not worse.”
The thought of it leaves you shuddering. Minjun was ruthless and you can’t imagine how much worse his brother is. You hope you never have to meet him, although luck hasn’t really been on your side recently.
“Hey,” Yoongi says quietly, moving from his seat to the bed. “You okay?”
“Mhm,” you nod.
He smiles softly. “Your wrist should be better in a few days, but your leg might take two or three weeks to heal well. I got you some crutches in case you wanna use them.”
“Thanks, I probably won’t use them though.”
“Yeah, I thought you’d say that.”
Smiling at him, you push the sheets back to look at your bound leg. “It’s not deep is it?”
Yoongi shakes his head. “You got lucky. Only an inch or so. Ah, also,” he looks up at you apologetically, “you’ll need to stay here for a while until your house gets fixed.”
“Oh.” You remember how the windows were smashed in as Minjun attacked, and you’re sure there’s more damage to the property that you’re not even aware of.
“Jimin is making all the arrangements,” Yoongi continues, “but he’s trying to keep things quiet so I don’t know exactly when things will be sorted.”
“He doesn’t have to, I can do it myself.”
“He wants to,” Yoongi responds. “He blames himself for what’s happened, so just let him please.” His words appear to carry more meaning, and you can’t imagine how he must feel after seeing Seojun dead. You still remember the look on his face when he saw the body.
“Why?”
“He blames himself for a lot of things,” Yoongi murmurs with a soft sigh. “This hasn’t helped.”
Even though it’s been years since you were close with Jimin, you still find yourself feeling a familiar twinge in your chest – ever since you’ve known him, Jimin has had to suffer so much hurt, you couldn’t even count on your hand the amount of times you saw him looking so defeated and terrified in front of his father. He seemed to prefer the company of Lee Han-jae over his own father, although you don’t know how much better Han-jae was as a father since his son, Taemin, was in America most of the time to study. All you know is how he treated Jiyoung.
Now, curiosity (or care) gets the better of you, and you ask, “What happened between them? Han-jae and Jihoon?”
Yoongi looks up, grimacing. “It started with money. Han-jae got greedy and wanted the Benitoite to be only his, but Jihoon insisted it belong to them both since the nightclub was half his effort, though he never really cared for the extra money, he just needed the front. Han-jae reluctantly agreed but it was clear he wasn’t happy.
“And then Jihoon found out that Han-jae planned on going behind his back and he got angry. Han-jae was drunk one night and started threatening Jihoon, which only made him more angry. But before he could do anything, Taemin stepped in and shot him.”
“Taemin?!” you ask, surprised..
Yoongi nods. “He knew of his dad's plan for the Benitoite and he wasn’t fond of Jihoon, so he did what he had to to protect his dad. But Jimin was there.” His expression darkens. “He watched his best friend shoot his dad, who was bleeding out in front of him. I’m so grateful we were with him that day…” He trails off, exhaling as he looks down.
He doesn’t need to say anymore for you to know what he means – Taemin was going to have Jimin killed too.
Your head lowers too. You don’t allow your thoughts to wonder what would’ve happened if Jimin had been alone, you’re just glad he got out. Though you can’t imagine what he must’ve felt given his relationship with Jihoon.
“Did he get to have a funeral for his dad?”
“Yeah,’ Yoongi answers. “Han-jae had just lost another one of his friends and the blood was on his hands, so he sent the body back to Jimin and tried to make amends, but Jimin wasn’t having it. He was already against everything they were doing and now that his dad had gone and he’d lost Taemin as a friend, he had no reason to keep ties with them.”
Leaning back into the cushions, you mull over everything he’s just said. For years, you stayed away from these families who were such a big part of your life growing up, and now you learn that they’ve fallen apart as well.
After a moment, Yoongi speaks again. “I was surprised when they brought you in.” You look up at him as he continues. “I thought he might’ve recognised you, but he said nothing.”
“Do you think he does?” you ask, remembering the look on his face when he first saw you. “But he’s just not saying it?”
Yoongi shrugs. “Might be. If he does remember you though, he’ll say something.”
“Are you going to tell them?” you ask, looking at him.
“Only if you want me to.”
After a few quiet seconds, you shake your head. “At least not yet.”
Yoongi nods and it goes quiet again. You close your eyes, leaning against the headboard as you think back on everything that’s happened, and then it comes to you.
“Dani and Siho,” you say, opening your eyes again as a heavy weight settles on your chest. “Did you get them out?”
Solemnly, Yoongi nods. “I sent them back to their families and have offered to make all the necessary arrangements for anything else they need.”
“Thank you,” you murmur. “Let me know what they say, I’ll sort it out for them..”
Yoongi nods again, pursing his lips as this time he reaches forward to take your hand and comfort you. “They knew the risks, Y/N, better than anyone else.”
“I know,” you sigh. “But it’s different, they were there because of me.”
“Yeah, but they made that choice, they wanted to fight for you,” Yoongi says, shifting on the bed. When you look at him, he winces slightly. “Sorry if this isn’t helping, you know I’m shit at comforting people.”
You smile. “I know.”
“Hey, you’re not any better though,” he says defensively, “you didn’t even hug me properly when my mom passed away.”
“What?” you chuckle. “I tried to, but I know you don’t like hugs.”
Yoongi shrugs. “Not normally, but then I would've liked it.”
“Oh…” Now you feel bad. “Really?”
He nods, only looking up at you when you fail to respond. Seeing your face, he smiles. “It’s okay though, I got lots of hugs from the guys here.”
Scoffing, you absentmindedly pull the covers over your legs again, feeling cold from the aircon. “Yeah, you’re telling me Park Jimin was giving out hugs?” It comes out sarcastically and without much thought.
“Yes, actually,” Yoongi answers simply.
Pausing, you realise what you said and his response. You don’t know why you feel surprised when the Jimin you knew was nothing but caring and considerate towards others, oftentimes more than he was towards himself.
As though he can read your mind, Yoongi smiles. “Surprised?”
“Kind of.”
“You knew him though,” he says, as though that makes it so obvious.
“Knew,” you repeat. “I didn’t expect him to still be the same.”
Yoongi hums in agreement. “I wouldn’t say he’s changed, but I wouldn't exactly say he’s the same either…” looking up, he smiles again. “I guess you’ll get to see for yourself now.”
“I guess so,” you say, reaching for an apple from the bowl beside you. Seeing Jimin again has been weird, but you can’t ignore the part of you that is ready to welcome a part of your old life back, someone familiar, someone you liked very much. Like Yoongi said though, you’ll get to see for yourself if he’s anything like you remember him. Although you were both younger then, you don’t think he would’ve changed much from what Yoongi has told you so far.
“D’you want something a bit more filling than that?” Yoongi asks, nodding to the apple you’ve just bitten into. “Dinner is just about to be served so you can come down to eat or I can bring it up for you?”
“Oh, yeah, actually,” you answer, hearing your stomach growl after receiving a tiny morsel of food. “I am quite hungry, so I think I'll come down.”
“Sure,” Yoongi chuckles, “you must be hungry, you’ve been sleeping for almost three days.”
You look up at him with wide eyes. “Three days?!” When he nods, you immediately reach for your phone. “I need to call Moni, she’s probably wo–”
“I already have,” Yoongi says, interrupting you quietly.
Fingers freezing over her name, you look up at Yoongi. “What?”
“I already called her.”
A frown settles on your face. “What did you say?”
Yoongi has always been aware of your wish to keep everything hidden from your grandma, so he hesitates now, knowing this would be your response when he told you he called her. “Everything, but Y/N, she needed to know.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make.”
“I know,” Yoongi sighs. “Sorry.”
For a moment, it goes quiet and you lower your phone to the covers. Yoongi is right, she did need to know about this, and it’s not like she’s a stranger to this kind of stuff. Besides, what happened wasn’t related to any of the stuff you’ve been doing for Yoongi, which is what you always wanted to keep from her, and what’s happening now does seem to involve you, and therefore her.
“Sorry,” you say. “You’re right, I just didn’t…” you sigh, trailing off as you think about how worried she must be. Your grandma is a strong woman and you’re everything to her, just as she has been yours.
“I know,” Yoongi says, understanding what you mean without you saying it; he knows your grandma well enough too.
“What did she say?”
“First, she just wanted to know if you were safe,” Yoongi answers. “After that, she didn’t say much except that she’ll come as soon as she can.”
You nod. Knowing she’s coming brings a smile to your face, you’ve missed her a lot. Before you can respond, your stomach growls again.
“Come on,” Yoongi says smiling, getting up and pushing the covers back, “let’s get you some food.”
“You still remember it?” Yoongi asks, a tone of surprise in his voice.
Taking another step, you shrug. “I wasn’t that little when I was last here, I must’ve been, what, eleven? Twelve?”
“Hm, Yoongi hums. “Still impressive.” He keeps a hand hovering around you should you need him, but you’re doing just fine, walking slowly down the hall you recognise as being the third floor.
The Park Estate isn’t much different from what you remember. The estate sprawled across acres, is a masterfully designed blend of elegance and practicality. The entrance opens to a grand foyer, splitting into two distinct wings. The East Wing houses the biggest office which used to belong to Jihoon, and now you assume it would be Jimin’s. It’s flanked by a suite of offices, all of which are bathed in polished woods and leather tones, belonging to his closest men. The West Wing, larger and more personal, feels more like a home. It rises three floors (taking the space above the East Wing) to accommodate the family’s quarter’s on the top most floor, a lounge and other rooms on the second, and downstairs is a dining room, a sleek kitchen caters to formal gatherings and another lounge.
Yoongi points out his room as you pass it, as well as naming some of the other guys whose names you try to pay attention to as you ignore the mild pain that spreads through your leg.
As you approach the stairwell, you notice another dimly lit corridor leading off the main hallway. You can’t see anything down the corridor as you pass, only a wall with light coming from the left and you assume it continues on.
“Jimin’s room is down there,” he says, answering your unspoken question.
“Ah,” you nod, carrying on. It makes sense for his room to be separate from the rest.
The second floor has a few extra guest bedrooms which are rarely used, and a private lounge which is different to what you remember, with a huge balcony that overlooks the gardens and the furniture has changed from mostly dark colours to a much warmer colour palette.
Downstairs, the split between the East Wing, and the West Wing is much more noticeable. The entrance to the West Wing from the grand foyer is always guarded and behind is a much more private hallway with more guards at the end for extra security, and the only way to go upstairs is from the two staircases within the West Wing. The staircase you’re approaching now takes you downstairs where the kitchen is.
As you approach the stairwell, you freeze, your eyes landing on a painting hung up on the wall at the far end of the hall. Yoongi says your name as you begin to walk towards it, but you don’t respond as an old memory suddenly returns to your mind, from the night your father was murdered.
“Lightning… is it a storm?” you asked, standing next to your dad in front of the easel.
“Yes,” he said, ruffling your hair with his elbow as his hands were smudged with paint.
“What does it mean?”
“Sometimes it can mean power,” he answered, turning back to the canvas in front of him. “But sometimes it can also mean punishment.”
You looked up, frowning.
He smiled. “Sometimes, too much power isn’t a good thing. If you’re not a good person, then it can be dangerous.”
“Oh…” You looked back at the canvas, admiring the deep shades of blue and black and grey he’d used to paint the night sky. In the centre, a spear of light struck the violent waves of the sea below. “Who is it for?” you asked.
Your dad’s smile disappeared as he looked back at the canvas. “An old friend.”
The painting is just as vivid as you remember, and seeing it now brings tears to your eyes as you feel a bout of nostalgia.
“My dad painted this,” you say quietly as Yoongi joins you in front of the huge canvas.
He doesn’t say anything, but instead looks up at the painting, admiring it in its entirety as though he’s never seen it before. “It’s beautiful.”
Nodding, you blink a few times to get rid of the stinging sensation in your eyes.. You realise now that Park Jihoon was the old friend your dad mentioned; realising he called him an ‘old friend’, you know your father must’ve known in those months leading up to his death that he couldn’t trust Han-jae and Jihoon.
Just then, Yoongi’s phone vibrates in his pocket. Reading a text, he quickly excuses himself. “Come down if you can, or I’ll ask someone to come up,” he calls out as he’s already walking off towards the stairwell.
“Okay,” you answer absentmindedly, still looking at the painting.
It’s not often you allow yourself to dwell on the past, but it’s also not often that you find yourself face to face with things that remind you so much of the past. There’s a reason your grandma decided to leave Seoul all those years ago and it’s a decision you agreed with. Even when you moved back to Seoul, you knew you couldn’t return to your old home, not when all you had there was fond memories of a life that was so unfamiliar to you now. But now, standing in front of your father’s own hand painted work, a flood of memories return and you find it harder to fight the lump that settles stubbornly in your throat.
You don’t realise you’re standing there for long until you hear someone approaching behind you. Turning around, you recognise the man approaching you as one of the ones who were with Jimin that night at your home. He smiles as he comes to a stop beside you.
“Admiring the art?” he asks.
“Mhm,” you hum, still watching his face – you didn’t realise then but now you see just how handsome he is, you feel like you can’t stop staring.
He chuckles, glancing at the painting. “You know I was talking about the painting, not me?”
Shaking out of your daze, you smile. “Yes, sorry. I just recognised you from the other night.”
“Ah, yeah, sorry we had to meet in such a way,” he nods, still smiling. “I’m Seokjin, but call me Jin.” He extends his hand which you shake.
“Y/N, and it’s okay, not your fault.”
“How’s the wrist?” he asks, pointing to your wrist.
“Oh, it’s okay,” you answer, lifting your arm for him to see. You can still move your fingers fine, just the occasional stretch or twist of your wrist hurts.
“Good. And the leg?”
“It’s mostly fine,” you nod.
He smiles again. “That’s good. Your wrist will heal fast, the leg might take a few weeks but it’s looking good so far. I didn’t expect you to be up so soon though,” he adds, raising a brow as though impressed.
You shrug.
“I take it this isn’t your first time getting hurt like this?” Seokjin says casually.
“What makes you think that?”
“You didn’t flinch that night, when we all aimed our guns at you. And the way you handled your own gun…” he shakes his head, smiling. “It definitely wasn’t your first time, and no normal person would point their gun at a mafioso at that.”
Chuckling, you turn back towards the painting again. “I guess I like getting shot at.”
“Just like everyone else here,” he laughs. “Well, you must be hungry, Yoongi asked me to walk down with you.”
“Sure,” you nod, turning away from the painting. You can return to it later. “So what about you?” you ask Seokjin as you approach the stairwell.
He watches carefully as you descend the first few steps. “What about me?”
“This definitely isn’t your first time stitching someone up,” you remark.
“Ah,” he nods. “Definitely not.”
You have to pause, reaching out for the banister to continue on. “So you’re a doctor?”
He snorts, stepping along beside you. “No, but I should be. I’ve done this kind of stuff enough times.”
Smiling, you know his statement is true enough. Injuries like yours must be a regular occurrence in the Park household. Stepping onto the landing, you take a breather and sit on the bottom step for a moment before you continue on. At the same time, you hear hurried footsteps running towards you and Seokjin.
“Jin hyung!” A bubbly voice sounds from down the corridor. You look towards the source and see two men who you recognise from that night – the man bun guy and the slender brown haired one behind him. They can’t see you sitting on the bottom step but as they get closer, Jin nods in your direction, turning their attention to you.
They both smile warmly when they see you, bowing their heads.
“Oh, miss L/N,” the first one comes forward, extending a hand. “I’m Jungkook, nice to meet you.” He has an adorable bunny smile and you can’t help but return it with one of your own.
“Nice to meet you Jungkook,” you reply, shaking his hand. “And you can call me Y/N.”
“Y/N, got it,” he nods, taking a step back so his other friend can greet you properly.
“Hi, Y/N, I’m Hoseok, Hobi for short,” he grins, shaking your hand.
“Hey.” You return his handshake, feeling slightly taken aback by how relaxed these guys are compared to their stoic looks from when you first saw them. Jungkook looks like a bunny rabbit in human form, and Hoseok beams like a ray of sunshine.
“How are you feeling?” Hoseok asks, motioning towards your leg.
“Um, it’s okay,” you smile. “I can still walk at least.”
He smiles with you, helping you as you start to get up. “Will you be joining us for dinner?”
You hum in response, allowing Seokjin to continue walking beside you as Jungkook walks ahead, leading you to the extensive lounge.
Distractedly, you look around the familiar room. The coffee table you’re sitting at is still the same as it was when you used to have extra helpings of dessert with Jimin, secretly given to you by the housemaid who had a soft spot for Jimin. Being here reminds you so much of your father too, and knowing how much of a huge part of his life this family was makes you miss him dearly.
Before any of the guys notice you’re not tuned into the conversation, you return your attention to what they’re saying. It hasn��t escaped you that none of them have said anything about your identity, and you reckon it must be because Jimin hasn’t recognised you – if he did, surely he would’ve told these guys since they were there too. You’re not sure if they know anything at all about you – perhaps you should’ve asked Yoongi about that before you came down.
Whether they know anything or not though, they keep the conversation away from anything that would involve you from sharing too much, and you realise now, how their warm smiles and easy conversation is a stark contrast to the tense memory you have of first meeting them the other day. However, there’s some missing.
“Are there more of you?”
Jin, in the middle of swallowing a big sip of water, nods and hums.
Hoseok answers for him. “There’s Yoongi, who you saw already, and Taehyung, Namjoon and Jimin.”
“They were there the other day,” Jungkook says, his tone dimming slightly.
“Namjoon and Taehyung will be joining us,” Jin adds, ignoring the last comment and keeping up his chipper attitude. “We always eat together whenever we can and they’re about somewhere.”
It doesn’t escape you that he didn’t mention Jimin’s name though.
“Taehyung is probably in the wine cellar,” Hoseok says.
“Ah, yes, Taehyung loves to pick out the wine for dinner.”
Jungkook snorts. “He thinks he’s a sommelier.”
You smile. “Well, does he make a good choice?”
“I can never tell,” Jungkook shrugs.
Hoseok jerks a thumb in his direction. “He’s not matured enough.”
“Hey!” Jungkook starts, but is interrupted by Jin, glancing toward the doorway.
“Ah, speak of the devil!”
You look up and see two more men entering. One has dark curls and sharp features, his posture relaxed but his gaze calculating as it sweeps over the room. The other one has dark grey hair and broad shoulders, wearing glasses that give him a sophisticated air. You recognise both of them from the other day.
“Yoongi said you’d come down,” the man with dark curls remarks as he approaches. His tone is calm, and a slight smile plays on his lips. “I’m Taehyung. Nice to meet you, Y/N.”
“Hi, Taehyung,” you reply, shaking his hand. His grip is firm but not overbearing. He’s undeniably striking, and there’s something about his presence that feels both inviting and enigmatic.
The broad man steps closer, adjusting his glasses as he nods at you. “I’m Namjoon. I handle most of the boring work around here.” His smile is disarming, and his voice carries a hint of dry humour. “Finances, logistics, making sure this place doesn’t fall apart.”
“Nice to meet you, Namjoon,” you say, shaking his hand. His words make you curious about just how much he handles behind the scenes.
Namjoon takes a seat in the armchair across from you and sinks into it comfortably. “How are you? I imagine this isn’t how you thought your day would go.”
You smile wryly, keeping your responses guarded. “Not exactly, no.”
Taehyung sits down next to Jungkook and returns his attention to you immediately. “Yeah, you put up quite the fight. Most people would’ve frozen in your position.”
“Not the first time I’ve had to defend myself,” you reply simply, not offering much else.
There’s a beat of silence as they all exchange glances, clearly intrigued but not pressing further. You appreciate the lack of prying.
“So,” Hoseok pipes up with an ever-cheerful tone. “Yoongi mentioned you might like spicy food. We had the chef prepare something special just in case.”
“Spicy works for me,” you say, grateful for the change in subject.
Jungkook claps his hands together. “Great! That makes two of us. The food here is amazing – you’ll love it.”
As the conversation shifts to lighter topics, you glance around the room again. The faces around the table are new, but the setting is steeped in nostalgia. Flashes of your childhood in this house flit through your mind – running down these halls, playing games late into the night, and the quiet presence of your father when he was here.
You force yourself to focus, tuning back into the conversation just as Seokjin asks, “So, Y/N, what’s your impression of the estate so far?”
“It’s... different,” you reply honestly, but keep your tone light. “Bigger than I remember.”
Seokjin tilts his head. “You’ve been here before?”
You curse yourself for slipping up but recover quickly. “Not this one exactly. Just a similar setup.”
Namjoon raises a brow but doesn’t say anything else, and you’re thankful for the reprieve.
The door from the far end of the room opens, and an older woman with an apron tied around her waist steps in, carrying a pitcher of water. Her hair is neatly pinned back, and her face is composed but kind. You immediately recognize her – Ara, one of the housemaids from your childhood.
Your eyes meet for a brief moment, and something flickers in her expression. She knows who you are. You’re certain of it. But to your surprise, she doesn’t say a word. Instead, she places the pitcher on the coffee table and begins pouring water into the glasses.
“Thanks, Ara,” Jungkook says warmly, and she nods with a small smile.
When she reaches you, she hesitates ever so slightly before pouring the water, her gaze lingering on you. You hold her gaze for a beat, searching her face for any sign that she might say something, but she doesn’t. Instead, she finishes and steps back, her expression carefully neutral.
“If you need anything, let me know,” Ara says softly, glancing at the rest of the table before leaving the room.
Namjoon watches her leave, then turns back to you with a faint smile. “She’s been here for a long time. Reliable, like everyone else here.”
You nod, trying to mask the unease and nostalgia that her presence has stirred up.
On the opposite side of the room, Yoongi comes in from the corridor you came through. With a smile at you, he then nods at everyone. “Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat before Jungkook inhales the entire table.”
Jungkook laughs, not bothering to deny the accusation. Everyone rises from their seats, and Yoongi gestures for you to follow them to the adjoining dining room.
"Taeheyung, did you choose a bottle for dinner then?" Hoseok asks.
"Of course. It’s spicy food so I brought up a Riesling."
"Nice one," Yoongi murmurs in approval.
"I want a beer," Jungkook says, with no regards to Taehyung's expression.
"More for us then."
As you walk, Namjoon falls into step beside you. “You’ll find this place can be both a refuge and a maze,” he says softly. “It’s easy to get lost, but it has its charms.”
You glance at him, wondering if there’s a deeper meaning to his words. “I’ll try not to get lost, then.”
He smiles faintly. “If you do, just call out. Someone will find you.”
Returning the smile, you find that any uneasiness you'd been feeling, begins to dissipate. It’s clear these men, while different in personality, share a bond that goes beyond mere loyalty to Jimin. You can see why they’ve been by his side for so long – they feel like a family in their own right.
Once everyone is seated at the table, conversation flows more freely and the atmosphere is surprisingly warm. Jin sits at one end of the table, serving himself a generous helping of the roasted chicken and rice dish.
“Jin-hyung, don’t hog all the drumsticks,” Jungkook whines as he watches Jin’s plate pile up.
“Then grab faster,” Jin quips with a smirk, not slowing his pace.
Taehyung leans back with an amused grin, observing the chaos. “I’m telling you, Jungkook, he does this every time. You should know better by now.”
“Should I?” Jungkook huffs dramatically. “Maybe next time I’ll just take the whole plate first.”
“Do it, and I’ll poison your portion,” Jin deadpans, but with a twinkle in his eye.
Hoseok chuckles as he passes you the salad bowl. “Don’t worry, Y/N. They act like this every meal. You get used to it.”
You smile faintly, watching them banter. It’s strange to see these men, who just days ago were all sharp glares and deadly precision, behaving like siblings teasing each other.
“Y/N,” Taehyung’s deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “Do you always eat so quietly? Or are you just plotting something?”
You blink at him, caught off guard. His face is serious, but his lips twitch with suppressed amusement.
“Maybe I’m just afraid to get between Jin and his drumsticks,” you reply lightly.
Laughter ripples around the table, and Taehyung raises his glass in salute. “Smart answer.”
Jungkook grins at you between bites of food. “Yeah, but next time, you should at least try to grab a piece before Jin wipes out the whole plate.”
“I heard that,” Jin retorts, mock-offended. “I’m ensuring quality control.”
“You’re ensuring there’s nothing left for the rest of us,” Hoseok counters, sipping his water.
As the banter continues, you allow yourself to relax a little. It’s a stark contrast to what you expected when you first woke up in the Park estate.
“By the way, hyung,” Namjoon says, turning to Jin. “Have you checked the medical inventory reports? They were due yesterday.”
“Oh, are we doing shop talk at the table now?” Jin sighs dramatically. “Can’t a guy just eat in peace?”
“It’s your own fault for procrastinating,” Namjoon replies smoothly, adjusting his glasses.
“Don’t drag me into your world of schedules,” Jin retorts. “I’m a free spirit.”
“You’re just lazy,” Jungkook interjects, earning a flick of a bread roll from Jin.
“Enough guys,” Hoseok says, raising his hands in mock exasperation.
Namjoon’s phone buzzes on the table, followed immediately by Hoseok’s. They both glance at their screens, and their smiles fade slightly. Exchanging a look, they nod in unison before standing up.
“Sorry, something’s come up,” Namjoon says, sliding his phone into his pocket. “We’ll catch up later.”
“Don’t eat all the dessert without us,” Hoseok adds with a wink as they head out.
“Like we’d wait for you,” Jin calls after them before turning his attention back to the table.
“Do they always leave like that?” you ask, genuinely curious.
“Pretty much,” Taehyung replies, leaning back in his chair. “They’ve got the busiest jobs out of all of us. It’s a miracle they even sit down for meals sometimes.”
“Or they just like to be mysterious,” Jin adds, rolling his eyes. “Half the time, it’s probably nothing.”
You smile, but you feel the weight behind it all. These men might act carefree, but there’s no denying the underlying layers to their lives.
After a while, another two housemaids quietly enter to clear some of the empty dishes.
“You okay?” Taehyung asks, drawing your attention back to the table. “You’ve been pretty quiet.”
You nod, brushing it off. “Just tired, I guess.”
“Understandable,” Jin says, rising from his seat. “You should rest. Recovering from an injury takes time.”
The others murmur in agreement as they begin to disperse, leaving you with a mix of gratitude and uncertainty. The warmth of their camaraderie is undeniable, but beneath it all, you can’t shake the feeling of what’s happened, and what is undoubtedly yet to come.
Only Yoongi remains at the table. He sits across from you and smiles. “It’s bringing back memories, huh?” He asks, seeing right through you.
“Yep.” You look around. “Loads. I don’t know how this might sound, but it feels like I missed it.” You look across at Yoongi, expecting to see a puzzled expression but he just smiles.
“I think it’s normal. You were young when you came here and I don’t think you have many bad memories associated with the place. Only good ones, right?”
He’s right. Back then, coming here usually meant evenings filled with laughter, hiding in closets with Jimin, and Jiyoung’s occasional teasing if she was here. Your dad was still alive, and this house, in a strange way, felt like an extension of home. Now, it’s like walking through a memory you can’t decide if you’re grateful for or aching to forget.
You smile softly at Yoongi and nod, letting the silence stretch as you stand. He doesn’t press you further, only watching as you cross the room to the wide, cushioned window seat at the far end. The large pane of glass offered a view of the front of the house. Settling into the seat, you lean against the frame, your gaze drifting outward.
Outside, the estate is alive with movement. Men are stationed around the house, their presence a constant reminder of the life you’re now steeped in. From the East Wing, you spot four men climbing into a sleek black Escalade. Then your attention shifts to the house’s front steps, where Namjoon and Hoseok emerge, walking with purpose.
Behind them, another figure appears and you recognise him instantly.
Jimin, dressed sharply from head to toe, walks across the front drive. He pauses briefly in front of his Porsche, glancing back toward Hoseok, who says something you couldn’t hear. A moment later, Hoseok and Jin climb into the car, and Jimin gets into the driver’s seat. The engine roars softly to life, and within moments, his Porsche is gliding down the private lane, the Escalade following closely behind.
Your gaze lingers on the lane until the cars disappear into the distance. Though you can’t see the estate’s gate from here, you can picture it clearly in your mind – a familiar marker from years ago.
“Where are they going?” you ask without turning, your voice quiet but curious.
“Something’s wrong with one of the shipments we received from the Takahashis. They’ve been a bit of a pain these past few months. Jimin reckons they’re now involved with the Lees and are trying to keep us distracted.”
You hum in response, saying nothing more, but your eyes stay fixed on the far-off trees that bordered the estate. Centred in front of the west wing, a fountain catches your attention, its centrepiece intricate and elegant. It reminds you of the one in Jimin’s mother’s garden and absently, you wonder if that fountain was still there.
As you shift, a sharp pang shoots through your leg, where the knife wound throbs dully. Your wrist isn’t much better, but the pain in your leg is what makes you wince audibly.
Yoongi notices immediately, his gaze darting toward you. “I think you’re due for your meds again.”
You exhale softly, nodding. “Yeah, I think so.”
“You wanna stay here or go back up?”
You push yourself to stand, biting back a groan as the strain makes your voice tight. “Mm, I know I slept for days, but I’m actually still exhausted.”
Yoongi chuckles, rising to help steady you. “That’s to be expected. Don’t worry.” He gestures toward the far end of the room. “We’ll go up, but this time we’re taking the lift.”
You can’t help but smile faintly at his consideration. “Appreciate that,” you murmur as he slides a steadying arm under yours.
The dim light of the ensuite glows behind you as you step into the bedroom, a towel draped over your head. You had just woken up after another long nap, your internal clock utterly thrown off by the days of rest. It's late now, just past midnight and the night is quiet, broken only by the faint rustle of fabric and the soft padding of your feet on the carpet.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, you absentmindedly rub the towel through your damp hair.
Your gaze drifts to the shelves by the dresser table, now stocked with an array of skin and hair care products. A small smile tugs at your lips as you stand to examine them, fingers lightly trailing over the meticulously arranged items. Appreciatively, you sit and carry out a full skin and hair care routine – after three days without it, you definitely need it. You wonder if it was Ara who must have put them here. You're certain she recognised you at dinner and when you think about it now, you think it would be nice to speak with someone familiar.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the buzz of your phone on the bed. Turning, you see the screen light up with an incoming FaceTime call. The name on the screen sends a swell of emotion through you.
“Moni?” you answer, settling back on the bed as your grandmother’s face appeared.
The sight of her brings a pang of guilt and relief all at once. Her tired eyes search your face and you can tell she must have been worrying nonstop. “Y/N,” she says softly, her voice warm. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” you reassure her quickly, though your heart aches knowing she must have been so anxious. “Really.”
She gives you a sharp look, the kind only she can manage, and her tone turns brisk. “Good. Stay safe there, you hear me? We're figuring out what's going on and Yoongi will tell you more when he can."
You nod, knowing better than to argue. Her expression softened just a little as she continued. “Tell me about Jimin.”
“He hasn’t said anything.”
“About recognizing you?” she asks, her brow lifting slightly.
You nod. “Nothing.”
She sighs, a mixture of fondness and exasperation crossing her features. “I don’t imagine he would. But I have no doubt he does. You haven’t changed much. He, however... he’s different.”
Her words hang in the air, and you find yourself looking up, your thoughts turning to Jimin.
“Life hasn’t been kind to him,” she continues, her voice tinged with melancholy. “When I last saw him, I didn’t see the same little boy I knew.”
A bittersweet smile crosses your lips. “Life hasn’t been kind to any of us.”
Your grandmother purses her lips, acknowledging the truth of your words. “Do you remember his father?”
“Of course I do,” you say without hesitation. “It’s hard to forget a man as cold as him.”
“And Mr. Lee?” she asks, her tone cautious.
You nod, already anticipating where this was headed. “I know, Moni,” you say quietly, cutting her off.
She looks up at you, her expression briefly surprised, but it fades just as quickly. "Of course, I should have expected you would piece it together."
“I know it was them,” you say, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “They did it. They killed Dad.”
She lets out a slow breath, her gaze steady on yours. “They were his best friends,” she says softly. “And then, all of a sudden…” She trails off.
You nod. You can only imagine that the sting of betrayal is still fresh even after all these years. Your grandmother's gaze remains on you, sharp and searching. “You’re there now, though… so, do you trust Jimin?”
You pause, memories of the night at your house flashing through your mind -- seeing Jimin in your kitchen with your gun aimed at him and he didn't retaliate in the slightest.
“I didn’t, at first,” you admit. “But I think I do. Besides, I trust Yoongi, and Yoongi trusts him."
She exhales slowly, relief evident on her face and a small smilw touches her lips. “You’re safe there, Y/N.”
You tilt your head slightly, meeting her gaze. “You trust Jimin?”
“I do,” she says without hesitation. “I trust him with you, and you’re my everything.”
The words wrap around your heart, and you wish you could reach through the screen to hug her. Instead, you nod and smile.
“You need to rest,” she instructs, her tone turning firm again. “I’ll call you later. Baek-hyun and I might come to see you. I think he wanted to see Yoongi too.”
Your lips quirk up at the thought. “That would be nice.”
"Good," she nods, and you eventually exchange goodbyes.
As the screen goes dark, you set the phone down, feeling a renewed sense of comfort. The thought of her visiting makes you smile softly as you sit in the quiet of the room.
Still restless though, you wander to the window, gazing out at the sprawling grounds bathed in the moonlight. You spot three men stationed at the back of the house, conversing together as they keep watch. The gardens stretch endlessly, just as you remembered. You can’t see the part of the grounds where Jimin’s mother’s garden would have been as it's hidden beyond the trees, but it would be nice to visit it tomorrow when the light returned.
As you shift, you feel your leg still aches, but it's different this time, more like the dull stiffness of inactivity than pain. Restless energy courses through you, and you decide a walk would do you good. The house is big enough and you need to keep your legs moving.
Stepping out of your room, you close the door quietly behind yourself and hear the faint hum of distant voices and sounds that tells you that not everyone is asleep yet.
As you move through the corridors, memories of Jimin filtered into your mind -- moments you hadn’t thought of in years now rising to the surface with startling clarity and they give you a strange sense of familiarity.
Eventually, your wandering brings you to your dad's painting again. You stop in front of it, the vivid strokes of lightning and sea send a wave of nostalgia over you, gratitude mingling with sadness. You remember you have a few of your father's paintings hanging up at home too and you make a mental note to ensure they're safely retrieved.
“Can’t you sleep, little bear?”
The voice, familiar and gentle, pulls you from your reverie. You turn to see Jimin standing a few feet away.
Dressed casually now, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top and his sleeves rolled up, he looks markedly different from the composed figure you saw earlier. There’s a softness to him now, something that reminds you of the boy you once knew. His smile, small and tentative, feels as though it might disappear if the silence breaks too loudly.
You smile back, and the corners of his lips lift a little more.
Realising what he just said, his words stop you short – it’s the name of the book you gave to him the first time you met him, so many years ago.
Jimin steps closer, the lamp’s dim light casting soft shadows on his features. As he nears, the subtle scent of his cologne reaches you – a delicate blend of cedarwood and something faintly sweet, familiar yet grounding. It lingers in the air between you, quietly drawing your attention to his presence. Despite the weariness evident in his eyes, there’s a steadiness about him, a calmness that feels both reassuring and disarming.
“Y/N,” he says, your name leaving his lips quietly, as though testing how it feels after all these years. “Did you think I wouldn’t recognise you?”
“I wasn’t counting on it,” you admit, your voice soft. “I’m surprised you remember the book.”
Jimin’s smile grows, faint but genuine. “How could I not? I never got to thank you for it properly.”
“Thank me?” you ask, tilting your head slightly.
He nods, shifting as if the memory is a tender one. “It was a comfort to me for a long time. I wasn’t allowed picture books of my own, so… thank you.”
You remember then how he once told you about his father’s strict rules. A cold man, his father likely saw no value in picture books – if they didn’t teach something useful, they weren’t worth having.
“You’re welcome,” you say softly.
Jimin’s gaze lingers on your face, and you feel a warmth creeping into your cheeks. Turning back to the painting, you focus on the familiar strokes of your father’s work.
“He was talented,” Jimin says quietly, standing beside you.
You smile faintly. “He was.”
After a moment, he adds, “I can have it moved to your room, if you like.”
You shake your head. “No, no. It’s okay. This is where it belongs.”
Jimin laughs softly, the sound low and soothing. “It’s actually covering up a stain we couldn’t remove. You might remember it since it was you who put it there.”
“Me?” you ask, eyebrows rising in surprise as you look at him.
He nods, a playful glint in his eyes. “Yep. One of the nights our fathers were away, and you had to stay over. Jiyoung was babysitting us, and we were painting. When it was time for bed, you didn’t want to sleep, so you ran away from her – with all the paints.”
As he speaks, the memory surfaces, vivid and sheepishly embarrassing. “Oh gosh, I remember. I tripped, and the paint went everywhere.”
Jimin smiles wider now, clearly suppressing a laugh. “We tried to paint over it a few times, but the colours were too bright. Eventually, my dad decided to put this up.”
You shake your head, laughing softly, though you still feel a twinge of embarrassment. “I can’t believe that’s still here.”
Jimin’s smile lingers, and the space between you feels quieter, weighted by an unspoken familiarity. His eyes flicker back to the painting, then to you. “It’s been a long time since then,” he says, his voice gentle, almost reflective.
You glance at him, catching the subtle shift in his tone, something deeper beneath the surface. “Yes,” you reply, turning your gaze back to the painting. “Though being here again… it almost feels like no time at all.”
Jimin studies you for a moment, his expression softening. “I imagine it feels different,” he says, “without your father?”
“Exactly,” you answer, the memory stirring a pang of longing. “It felt safe wherever he was.”
“And now?” His question is soft, careful, as though he’s weighing each word before speaking.
You hesitate before answering, meeting his gaze. “I want to say yes,” you admit honestly, “but experience tells me not to feel safe anywhere.”
Jimin nods, his expression contemplative, and something about his calm presence makes your honesty feel less vulnerable. “You’ve learned not to trust anyone,” he say, his voice carrying a quiet understanding.
You look at him, searching his face, but his steady gaze gives nothing away except an openness that feels disarming. “You’re right to think that,” he continues, his tone neither judgmental nor apologetic, as if he understands the walls you’ve built all too well.
The words sit between you for a moment before you ask, carefully, “Can I trust you?”
His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, silence fills the space between you.
“Yes,” he says, his voice quiet but certain. “But you’ll make that decision on your own.”
You nod slowly, his answer settling something inside you. There’s no urgency in his response, just a quiet assurance that feels like a small but solid anchor. It’s not a promise – it’s an invitation.
“Until then,” he continues, his voice softening, “please, make yourself at home. You’re safe here.”
The sincerity in his words lingers, and while they aren’t a guarantee, they feel real.
Jimin doesn’t say anything else, but you catch the way he watches you, something unspoken but soft in his expression. You feel it yourself too – after so many years there is so much to say, to ask, but for now you take the peaceful quiet for what it is.
His presence feels closer now and you let out a faint smile, glancing back at the painting.
It occurs to you now, how strange it is, that this time, there is something familiar that Jimin’s presence stirs in you – a reminder of what it feels like to trust, even if only a little.
note. thank you all so much for reading! please don’t be a silent reader :’) this fic takes me forever to write and I’d love for you to share your thoughts w me -- i really wanna know what you guys think! and rb toooo <3333
#jimin x reader#pjm#park jimin#park jimin x reader#jimin fanfic#jimin series#bts series#bts fanfiction#bts imagines#jimin imagines#jimin fluff#jimin angst#jimin smut#jimin x you#jimin x y/n#bts mafia#park jimin x you#jimin masterlist#bts masterlist
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Am Your Destiny (Yandere!Rio Vidal x female!reader)
Summary: You had recently gotten engaged and you couldn’t be happier. But someone you’re close with has taken it upon herself to ensure that that will never come to pass, that you are hers and hers alone….
Prompts taken from the Yandere Writing List by @yandere-daze
67. " Nothing can separate us now."
38. "Only look at me with these pretty eyes of yours."
(CW: Kidnapping, forced kiss, potential murder implications, (kinda up to interpretation) restraint, (just on the ankle) possible drugging)
Author’s Note: I actually managed to get one of my ideas out of my head and into a story, holy shit!
Reader is, of course, 18+.
Your eyes shoot open as a soft breeze brushes against you.
“Where the hell am I?” you whisper fearfully as your eyes dart around. It looks like a clearing in the moonlight surrounded by a thick forest, but….it feels unnatural.
The last thing you remember is preparing your wedding invitations. Your partner of seven years had proposed to you and you’d been nose-deep in preparations despite the date being far off. But there’s bigger fish to fry.
Your heart pounds, your breathing quickens; is this a kidnapping? You try to stand up, but something’s keeping you down on your knees. Looking behind you, you see a rope of green light surrounding your ankle, the other end tied to a tree. This escape clearly isn’t going to be easy.
Suddenly you hear a familiar chuckle from the forest.
“Finally, you’re awake, my love.”
Your blood freezes as a shadow slowly strides out of the forest, unveiling their identity; dressed in a black off-shoulder gown with a crown on her head, her dark hair flowing in the light breeze.
“R-Rio?!” you gasp out.
Hearing this, her smile grows.
“Ah, my little bird….how I love hearing you say my name.”
She glides closer until she’s hovering above you, like a hawk hovering over its prey.
“What’s going on?” you choke out.
She doesn’t answer, instead slowly kneeling down in front of you.
“What’s going on?” she repeats before shrugging. “Nothing much, just…..claiming what’s mine.”
The drop on her volume at the end sends chills through you.
“Wh…what are you talking about?” you gasp out.
Rio coos in response. “Oh darling….don’t tell me you’re really this clueless.” Reaching out, she slowly tucks a bit of hair behind your ear. “It’s so obvious; you and I are meant to be together.”
Upon hearing this, you have to do a double-take. No….there’s no way you heard that right; Rio’s your best friend, the first one you told about your partner’s proposal, the one you told all your secrets to. Of course you know she’s Death, that she’s the original Green Witch, but you never considered her as anything more than your best friend.
“Rio, don’t talk nonsense,” you chuckle nervously, praying that this is just a joke, just a terrifying joke.
“….Who said it’s nonsense?” Her face betrays no sign of deception, that just makes you feel even more horrified. “What’s nonsense is believing that you’re not meant to be mine, by my side for all eternity.”
“Okay, that’s enough, Rio,” you pant. “Just…..cut the bullshit and let me go.”
Hearing this, her eyes harden.
“Let you go?” Her tone drops as she leans in close, her face only a few inches from yours. “Do you think I’d be insane enough to do that? When I have what I want here and now? Don’t make me laugh. Besides I’ve waited long enough for this moment, and when things arose, I decided to take matters into my own hands.”
Once again, you try to stand up, but within a millisecond, you’re back on the ground.
“Don’t even bother, it’s cosmic-grade magic,” she huffs. “I can’t have you running off; besides, you wouldn’t even know the way out.”
A lump forms in your throat as you remember just how powerful Rio actually in.
“Why are you here?”
She doesn’t answer for a hot second. “Well….it’s pretty simple; I want to ensure this destiny is fulfilled, and one way to do that is soul-binding.”
“Soul….binding?” you gasp out.
“Soul-binding,” she repeats. “A ritual that connects the souls of two people to the point where the mere thought of being separate from them gives one a sense of absolute dread. It is a bond that nothing is able to sever.”
Gently she cups your cheek, brushing her thumb against it in a slow circular motion.
“Once the ritual is performed, our souls will become one. We’ll sense each other’s thoughts…feelings…desires…we’ll develop a deep desire to be with each other, a desire that will grow into a compulsion. We’ll sense each other’s wants and needs, we’ll be able to communicate telepathically, among many, many benefits; best of all…”
She slowly cups both sides of your face with one hand.
“….Our life forces will be connected,” she whispers.
Your blood goes beyond frozen; Rio, being Death herself, cannot die. If you become connected to her…..
“Rio, you’re insane!”
She just grins and nods.
“Insanely in love, in particular.”
“This isn’t love, it’s obsession!”
Rio merely chuckles. “I see them as one and the same. Anyway, let’s not waste anymore time. Our souls will soon be one.”
You’re in the biggest panic of your life.
“Rio, you can’t do this; you know about the proposal!”
Upon hearing this, Rio gives a bitter chuckle. “Of course I know…..why do you think I’m doing this now? They don’t deserve you. They’re not your destiny; I am.”
“But…..they’re gonna wonder where I am!” you stammer.
She sighs. “Oh, my love…..you’re truly so naive. Did you think I wouldn’t be prepared for that? I’ve already taken care of the problem.”
All of your trembling that you’re trying to hide freezes at that moment. “….what did you do to them?” you gasp.
“Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, my little bird,” she says. “Enough diversions; it’s time to bind.”
In an attempt to avoid the ritual, you turn away, but Rio grabs your head and yanks it back to face her.
“There’s no use fighting it, my love,” she purrs. “This is what’s meant to be.”
“If you do this to me, I’ll hate you forever!” you snap.
However Rio just laughs. “Oh, I beg to differ, my love. Once the ritual is complete, you’ll be so enamored that you’ll only look at me with these pretty eyes of yours. I guarantee it.
Keeping her hands on both sides of your face, she leans forward and locks her lips onto yours. You try to pull away, but Rio’s grip on you is too strong. Her lips give off the taste of mint, one that’s almost….alluring….
You begin to feel your mind fog up and your muscles begin to loosen. But you know you need to get away…..right? The mint taste and scent is beginning to overtake you; at the same time, you feel a strange sensation enter your body, which brings back your alertness slightly. You sense yourself torn between the need to break out and the desire to succumb. However the more you’re exposed to this delicate but intoxicating aroma, the more you lean towards the latter. The strange sensation strengthens, but it’s strange in a euphoric way. Even as that little voice in the back of your mind tries to bring you back, the euphoria and mint both nearly have you. The voice is slowly fading away….until all there is is the euphoria and mint.
You reach up and grab Rio’s face, burying yourself deeper into the kiss. A deep primal desire awakens in you, a desire to be closer than humanly possible; and the more you two kiss, the stronger the euphoria becomes until it’s one of the only things on your mind.
After some time, Rio slowly pulls her lips away from you before giving a chuckle. The two of you lock eyes and you feel as though everything else has faded. As far as you’re concerned, nothing exists but your beloved Rio….
“There…. Nothing can separate us now,” she whispers.
Reaching over, she places her hand just above your chest, the touch making you feel…whole.
“You can feel it too, can’t you?” she chuckles. “Our souls are now one, bound together eternally.”
You focus, and sure enough, you feel as though your souls have practically merged into one, and you love it. It just feels…..right. Seeing this, Rio releases the bind on your ankle and brings you in close. Her warmth immediately puts you at peace as your head settles on her chest.
As you settle in, Rio whispers in your ear, her warmth breath caressing your ear. “You’re safe with me, my love. I’ll protect you, cherish you, treasure you as the precious gem you are. You will want for nothing. All you have to do is stay with me….can you do that for me?”
Without hesitating you nod, an enamored smile forming on your face, and Rio chuckles.
“That’s it. You’ll stay with me like the good girl you are. You don’t need anyone else. I am all you need…..”
As her warmth encompasses you, you feel your eyes begin to flutter shut, the echoing sounds of the waterfall, along with the rise and fall of Rio’s chest, lulling you into a peaceful slumber. Nothing can make this more perfect for you. You know you’re exactly where you need to be, where you want to be. You simply can’t imagine being anywhere else, except with your beloved Rio. And just before you drift off, you hear her whisper into your ear.
“I am your destiny….”
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lee Know Jealousy
SKZ Jealousy series pt. 2: (when they're in a serious relationship do they get jealous at all? What makes them jealous if they get jealous? How do they act in a relationship? What's their response/behavior when jealous? How do they handle it?)
If anyone has ever told you he’s not jealous they’re a liar. Fibber. Deceiver. Storyteller, even. Believe nothing they’ve ever said after that. Lee Know and Jealousy are two peas in a grenade.
First off, when he’s jealous you’ll know. He’s not the type of person who won’t show it out of fear for what will happen if he does. He’s just not. He stands his ground and isn’t about to let some weirdo flirt with his partner right in front of him. That’s not how he operates.
He fights for what’s his. And that includes whoever he’s with. If he DOESNT get jealous…He simply doesn’t care. Doesn’t want you anymore. Because his jealousy is part of him fighting for his partner and their relationship because he WANTS it and doesn’t want any threats to it.
He wants a stable relationship. Anything that would stoke jealousy is a threat to the relationship’s stability, plain and simple. And he won’t be satisfied until that thing is over and done with. Out of the picture and out of his life. For good.
He has a very restless mind. He overthinks, and over analyzes. He can’t help the thoughts that come up that’re jealous when his partner is a little too friendly with another guy. Because he’s a thinker. And once someone stokes that jealousy in him it will keep bubbling up. It will linger in the back of his mind.
He holds onto things a lot. So I WOULD NOT recommend getting him jealous on purpose. He will remember. And trust me, it will stack up against you. That’s how he is.
Generally he’s content and comfortable with his jealousy. It’s part of him. He doesn’t hide or deny it. Hell, he’d tell you he’s a jealous person if you asked. He’s always been that way. And he has a wealth of it to give out.
Jealousy builds and builds and builds with him. And it will stay until he’s 100% sure what started it will not be an issue again.
But even then he probably would throw it back in your face during arguments if it’s still lingering in his mind.
He’s content in his jealousy. But that doesn’t mean it’s not draining. If you constantly flare it up, he will feel like he can’t trust you. And trust is the most important thing to him in relationships.
Make him too jealous and he’ll be exhausted. Helpless. It’ll affect his self esteem slowly but surely, make him wonder why his partner keeps doing these things that make him jealous when they have him. It’ll make him doubt the relationship and his partner’s love for him, point blank period. And he may lose focus or interest in the relationship.
But he also doesn’t mind a jealous partner. Im getting a balance and equality there.
He wants to work past whatever it is that made him jealous. Because if he’s with you and caring and trying he loves you. And he doesn’t like losing those he loves, contrary to popular belief. And conversely he wants to know if the actions caused by his jealousy hurt. He’s like that with most things. He can say and do hurtful things but he won’t know they are unless he’s told. And he wants to be told. He doesn’t care if he is at any point as long as he is.
He will act like it’s fine after all is said and done but it’s not. It lingers. It causes a lot of turbulence in him. He’ll probably be on edge and the jealousy will be quick to flare back up. He’ll constantly be looking out for something.
The type to go through his partner’s phone without them knowing.
He may keep it a secret if it lingers too long because he doesn’t want to start rocking the boat for something that’s passed.
But he will throw it in your face in an argument.
Just a lot of emphasis on VII of Swords specifically here.
He likes it when he can get over these things. Or when he feels he doesn’t have to hide it and can safely express its still bothering him with his partner. It makes him feel grateful for them. Grateful that they’re understanding of it. Like he’s lucky.
It makes him all the more content and emotionally satisfied in that relationship/situation.
This can start a lot of arguments though. Jealousy. And he’s not the kindest in arguments because his priority is protecting himself and his own peace.
He can be aggressive and say very hurtful things with no real compassion. He may possibly feel guilty or ashamed after the fact if he realizes it hurts you and he…Well, cares, but he’ll very rarely offer an apology unless you express how much it hurt after.
#kpop tarot#tarot#stray kids tarot#lee know#lee minho#kpop astrology#stray kids astrology#stray kids#skz
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ecto-Implosion 2024
Credit to @chaseacer-ghostedition for their amazing art.Fic below
The table broke the silence with a loud complaint. With heavy groans, the table cracked in two, and the collapsed ghostling began melting on top of the broken heap; a smashed table and its splattered breakfast. Dripping flesh, spilling like tipped soup, oozed and mixed with the food, making a runny mash and green milky mess stick and stain the mansion’s expensive carpet.
Dan leapt back to get out of the splash zone as the ghostling struggled to get up in a puddle of their own ecto, the smushed food, and broken crockery. Feeling a little homicidal about the ruined meal, Dan fired up an ecto-blast - no need to go ghost to finish off a ghost that can barely keep itself together. Dan fully aimed to turn the intruder into a burnt smear.
“No, Stop!”
Vlad shouts as he forcibly moves in-between them to block Dan. Dan rears back in sheer surprise. His ecto-blast fizzles out and a pair of red eyes stare at Vlad in wide disbelief. Dan's utterly bewildered at Vlad's vehemence in stopping him. Dan felt his lips twist into snarl. His chest ached with defensive hurt at the implied reproval and rejection in Vlad’s actions of Dan’s actions. This hurt surged when Vlad, without further word or explanation, dismisses Dan and turns his back on him in favour of giving his attention to the ghostling instead. The ghost that had so rudely and messily intruded breakfast.
Dan watched Vlad get on his knees and, whilst skirting the disgusting mess the ghostling had made, Vlad softly approached the intruder. But the moment Vlad opened his mouth to say something, he got punched in the face.
“I know I deserve that. But -” Vlad gets scratched on the other cheek. The man takes a deep breath. “I” and Vlad catches the third blow in his hands - that final blow had been the weakest of the three. Dan sneers at the feral behaviour.
“The fuck? Is it rabid?” Dan calls out derisively.
“Language,” Vlad reprimands Dan.
“Who the fuck are you calling an it?!” The ghostling snarls, wriggling and wrenching their hand free from Vlad's grasp before unsteadily pulling itself onto its feet. Vlad easily lets the ghostling go, with no reprimand for its language Dan sulkily notes. And still Vlad, now standing, continues to give it his full attention.
“Enough. I understand that I very much deserve your wrath, but I'd rather you not waste your energy when you're so clearly not well. Let me help you,” Vlad patiently offers. Dan crossed his arms and huffed, as he rolled his eyes. Dan could not see why, after being so violently rebuffed, Vlad even still bothered.
“Over my fully dead melted body will I accept your help Vlad,” the feral ghostling snarled, “I'm going to Danny.”
“Excuse me?!” Dan pulls a face, “are you talking to me?”
The ghostling pulls her attention away from Vlad and for the first time, it properly sees Dan face to face. At first their expression (what of their face that isn’t gooey and dripping) is one of shock. Then it morphs into outrage, flickers with disgust, as it settles into a sneer. The ghostling sends Vlad a venomous look.
“I see that you've finally got the son you've always wanted,” Daniel’s failed clone snarled up at him.
Taking a deep breath, lashing out in anger would be the wrong thing to do, Vlad then chose to speak to the failed clone in a conciliatory tone.
“Ok I know what it looks like but it's not what it looks like,” he tries to placate. It’s unsuccessful. The failure shoots Vlad a deadpan look. Vlad barely manages to suppress a flinch.
“So he’s not a clone of Danny?”
Vlad grimaces at the pointed and justified accusation. From behind, Dante belligerently interjects.
“No I’m not. Now who the fuck are you?” he vulgarly asked. Vlad deeply sighs. ‘Truly this is karma’, he thinks to himself.
“This is my daughter, Danielle.” The words lie heavy on his tongue as the meaning of what he just said slowly settles in his mind. The implications and the responsibility he had so easily forgotten and discarded smacks him full force in his face. This disaster of a clone was his daughter! And she was desperately hurt.
“I beg your fucking pardon,” Dante shouts at Vlad before turning to glare Danielle. He looks at her with extreme distaste.
Danielle meets Dante’s glare with a sharp sardonic smile, her lips ready to unleash barbed words in retaliation.
Vlad quickly looks back and forth between his two children. He feels a rising panic at his loss of control of the situation and a sinking sense of alarm at their burgeoning hostility.
“Oh no, did you think you were an only child?” Danielle asks with saccharine sweet venom. Her eyes glint with malice. “Nah Vlad’s made lots of us clones.” She cocks her head and faux-lightly asks, “I wonder how many failures lie between me and you?”
Her words were initially directed at his son to hurt him, but Dani then switched targets. She aims her rage onto Vlad and stares him down. Vlad is bereft of speech, guilt and shame had seized his tongue. From behind, Vlad hears Dante sputter back an answer.
“No, I mean yes, I mean shut up.” Rage and confusion has clearly deadened his son’s usual eloquence.
Dante moves out from behind Vlad and into his line of sight. He excludes Dani by pointedly turning his back on her, thus also entirely blocking Vlad’s view of Danielle. Dante locks in full direct eye contact with Vlad.
“You have a daughter ?! Is that thing,” Dante blindly points, “supposed to be my sister?!” he whines with teenage entitlement. Blasely lounging on the floor behind Dante in a gooey puddle of her own ectoplasm, Danielle interrupts.
“Don’t worry, Vlad’s not my father,” she reassures Dante in a relaxed tone between attempts to mop and squeegee her melting body back together. “I disowned him the day he left me to die because I wasn’t Danny’s perfect clone son,” she seethes.
Dante silently waits for Vlad to give his side of the story.
“Do I have a daughter? In a manner of speaking, yes.” Vlad tentatively admits. “After all, I am responsible for her creation. But as you can see our familial ties have been severed. That being said,” Vlad moves forward so that speak to his daughter over Dante’s shoulder, “Danielle please, will you let me help you? You are quite literally dissolving before my eyes.”
Danielle loudly scoffed, “You never cared before.”
“And I apologise for that. My previous behaviour, especially towards you, has been shameful.”
Danielle freezes and looks up at Vlad, truly gobsmacked.
“Who even are you?” Danielle gasps. “Are you a clone?”
Vlad flinches. “No I’m not a clone,” he denies. He finds himself surprisingly hurt by her derisive disbelief. But it was understandable. Danielle, was the child that he had for a time raised like a daughter, and he had betrayed her. For the single act of not being a perfect copy of Daniel, he had not even wanted to save her. Why would she believe that he cared about her physical distress now when he had so callously proven that he had “never cared before”? Why wouldn’t she logically deduce that such an offer couldn’t possibly come from him? Now Danielle was staring up at him with utter revulsion.
From the floor Dani stared up at Vlad, who had just apologised and then denied being a clone, and wished she was anywhere but here, doing anything but this. She wished at least she had Danny there with her whilst she was dissolving into a puddle of goo. Danny, even if he didn’t have any Ecto-Dejecto on him, would at least be more helpful and reassuring, than Vlad and his awful, moody, perfect clone son.
It had all gone so wrong, so quickly. One minute she was fine, the next she realised she was feeling really faint. By the time she realised it was because she was destabilising again it was already a race against time and she was losing. Badly. Being in a whole different state, flying took energy she couldn’t afford to lose but, if she was somehow going to make it to Danny, not flying would take time she couldn’t afford to waste. It had been exhausting. Both mentally and physically taxing to balance out her limited time of existence against her remaining distance and stamina. But she had almost made it. She had made it to Amity Park. All she had left to do was to find Danny. Or at least one of his friends, or even Valerie, or Danny’s sister Jazz. They hadn’t met before but she was still an option, a better option. But no. Instead when her powers guttered, and glitched, and she was free-falling to Earth, unable to restart her powers and go ghost, it was Vlad’s fucking mansion she fell through the roof of. This was a nightmare. She needed to leave. But her powers were out of reach, and her body was struggling to remain solid.
Meanwhile that manipulative, heartless, piece of shit was pretending that he wanted to help her. As if she couldn’t see Danny’s shitty perfect clone standing angrily right there in front of her. Therefore Vlad was, evidently , still on his bullshit. So no, she wasn’t going to believe his nice words and promises, never again. She wasn’t going to be tricked, or used, or manipulated to somehow hurt Danny. Even if Vlad finally got his perfect clone son, there was no way he was done being a total bastard.
“I only wish to redeem myself,” Vlad lies. He looks so apologetic and honest and genuine. Dani wants to scream in his face. It couldn’t be real . This was all lies. Vlad was just, once again , lying and trying to trick and manipulate her. Just like he had done to her, just like he had done to Valerie.
Dani flings herself forward, heat seething beneath her skin, as she fires up an ecto-blast. Her fist is raised but before can she fires a shot, goo squelches between her clenched fingers.
Like a deflated balloon, Dani lets her anger go - her anger is causing her to destabilise faster. Defeated by her own body, Dani miserably watches her arm turns to liquid. She calmly pats her flesh back into shape like it’s soft clay. When she is done she’s surprised to find Vlad staring silently at her with a concerned and worried look on his face.
She asks squint-eyed, “Are you Ok? Are you like possessed? Have you been brainwashed, or like are you under magical influence or?”
“I'm sincere.”
“Sounds fake.”
“Why?!”
Dani drags her judgemental gaze over to look side-long at the other clone in the room. She silently lets that make her argument for her. Vlad had the good grace to at least look sheepish.
Dani looks Sad Vlad up and down. She internally groans at what she is considering doing. She looks Sad Vlad up and down again. Dani gustily sighs.
“Ok Vlad, if this isn't a trick AND you're not brainwashed AND you do want to help me then take me to Danny” demanded Dani. Vlad agrees suspiciously quickly. “I'm also going to need a bucket,” Dani orders. From her shoulder, a blob of flesh drips and stains Vlad’s expensive carpet.
Danny’s shitty perfect clone pulls a face, “Ew.”
The End
#danny phantom#vlad plasmius#danielle phantom#dani phantom#ellie phantom#Dan Phantom#cw: body horror#Post-Graphic Novel: A Glitch in Time (Danny Phantom)#Danielle is going through it#Dan Phantom is Angry#Vlad Masters Being Less of an Asshole#barely#Parental Vlad Masters#Vlad & Dan Phantom Redemption#the beginnings of anyway#Older Sibling Dan Phantom#Not that he's happy about it#ectoimplosion2024
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Semi related to my posts earlier but kind of a tangent. This is messy but its something that's been eating at me and I don't really know how to move forward.
Yesterday was Transgender Day of Remembrance. There are many names we know and mourn, but there are many more that are never seen. Many names are missing because they could not be acknowledged as their true selves after, or before, their deaths.
The thing that's been bothering me is that the lists most groups will consult, these missing names include those lost to suicide. Known cases of trans people, often young people, are being left out of these lists. Their deaths are not considered part of "the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence".
Every trans suicide is a murder.
Its not a coincidence that minorities have higher rates of suicide. Its the way we are treated, our quality of life, that most influences these statistics. I have seen news of at least one case, a trans man in Alberta, who committed suicide explicitly because of the anti-trans policies his province was set to enact.
Ive seen dozens of articles. I've seen a trans masc's instagram, where the most recent comments are from their friends. On a post where they were celebrating starting hrt, the most recent comment is mourning their loss, that they didn't live to complete their first year on T. I've looked at their posts, I've read their words, I've seen their smile. And they're gone.
Their name was Bekett Noble. They deserve to be remembered.
There's dozens of people each year who share thier experiences and go unnamed. The young man in Alberta, for example, was not named publicly in the article where his death was mentioned. Due to a family connection, I know of at least one instance of a murder of a trans man in western Canada that I have not seen any news of publicly at all. His body was found with his genitals mutilated.
There's many half formed things I could say about these lists when it comes to trans men and mascs specifically but I don't feel my thoughts are solidified enough and it's not what I want to focus on here.
I believe trans suicides should be part of these Remembrance lists. Its a disservice to our community that they aren't.
If you can, please use the site below. They have a database going back decades with a well implemented filtering system.
These are the known deaths of trans people in Canada since last year's TDoR. Each name links to a page of information about them and links to where the information was sourced.
As for many things, these lists are a community effort. If you see that a death you know of is missing from the list, please contact them with whatever information you have. The second entry, whose name is still unknown, was added after I contacted them and provided the article in which I'd learned of his death. Since then, the folks running the site have done additional research and added what they could to his info page, including an extensive statement from his aunt, whom he was close to.
This past September, The Trevor Project published a report:
From 2018 to 2022, 48 anti-transgender laws were enacted in the U.S. across 19 different state governments. The study examined the causal relationship between these laws and suicide risk over this five-year time period, using national survey data collected from more than 61,000 transgender and nonbinary youth. Results concluded that, during this time period, anti-transgender laws significantly increased incidents of past-year suicide attempts among transgender and nonbinary youth by as much as 72%.
[...] Across the full sample of transgender and nonbinary young people ages 13-24, an increase in suicide attempt rates of 38% to 44% was observed.
- The Trevor Project
Every trans suicide is a murder.
There will always be missing names on these lists. I don't believe that known instances of trans suicides should be excluded from them. They deserve to be remembered.
#trans rights#cw sui mention#cw mutilation#cw murder#anti trans legislation#anti-trans violence#transphobic violence#transgender day of remembrance#trans awareness#hatter does stats#trans stats#needed to get this off my chest
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Law of ASSUMPTION
Its YOU. Whatever YOU assume to be true. Manifesting is so natural. My favorite way to manifest is to deny, deny, deny, anything telling me otherwise. And you might think I’m being delusional or think this is a method I use to manifest. But why? You see from the moment I decided I had somethin then it became true. Me denying anything showing me otherwise, was just me knowing it happened and not giving power to anything else. It wasn’t me deluding myself. The 3d doesn’t matter. I can easily wave it off by saying it conforms instantly and I don’t care anyway bc I already have what I want. Because I quite literally do. Im not gaslighting myself. Im gaslighting my logic. I mean what part of manifestation is instant did we not understand?
The last of the logic tying us down. I quite literally do not care for the 3d or to even say that I’m manifesting, no I manifested. I mean I’m always manifesting but this particular thing already happened and if something already happened would you be worried about it not happening? Isn’t that ridiculous to you?
If you think you need to change subconscious beliefs, then you do. If you think you need to perform delta waves, then you do. If you think listening to that subliminal continuously will work for you then it will. But it comes down to what you assume. If you think you need to get rid of resistance then you do. If you think that paid service will help you it will. If you assume there is no difference in affirming to get and affirming to remind there isn’t.. If you think listening to subliminalinals while asleep will work then it will. If you think SATs will work then it will. BECAUSE U MADE IT WORK BY ASSUMINE IT WOULD.
The law is the only thing there is. It can counter anything if you assume it can.
The 3d not showing you what you want? Assume it is. It’s always showing you what you want. And you don’t care to hear otherwise.
Your limiting beliefs holding you back? Assume it’s not. You just created this concept to hold you back lol. You’re so powerful like that. Your beliefs don’t make any difference you always get what you want instantly.
Been affirming for a while and don’t feel fulfilled? Assume you are!! Girl please you and me both know that worked and because you are completely in control. Let’s be for real.
The law not clicking for you? Assume it did. It already clicked for you. You already accepted yourself as the creator of your life and manifest instantly.
Not seeing movement? Assume you are. What are we talking about right now. Everything is always conforming to us.
Our assumptions make our reality not our circumstances.
No matter what problem you have it can be solved by assuming it away because that is the law. Everything else we made up. Why try so hard for something that happens instantly. An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. The key to manifesting is accepting something as true or certain to happen without proof. Assuming. You accepted having your desire as true or certain to happen without proof. So it happened/is true.
Here is a little exercise for the next time you feel like it’s not going to work. Affirm “I assumed it would happen so of course it (did/will/is) my assumptions create reality, so (whatever is bothering you) doesn’t matter I don’t need any proof to know I (am right, have everything you want, or whatever it is you assumed). You are not saying this to insinuate the process you are saying this CAUSE ITS FUCKING TRUE.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.
DO U GET WHAT IM SAYING. YOU DONT NEED ANY PROOF FOR IT TO BE REAL YOU SAID IT WAS REAL AND SO IT WAS. Do understand how many loop holes you can create with this. We all have this power. To make anything real/true without proof. Just because we said it was. Your assumptions create reality just because they do. So anytime you panic and are like wait why isn’t happening remember that it already did. Something is true real as soon as you say it is and that’s it.
*ahem ahem*
~with love, Jyspire
#loa blog#loa tumblr#loablr#loass#loassblog#loassumption#loa#4d reality#self concept#shifting motivation
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
' huh ?! oh , no --- ! it's not that i don't think you're strong enough to hold him or anything ! ' he sweats , he frets in place ! ' i just --- i-if somehow he did turn into a bother ... ! it'd be wrong to keep you holding him forever ! '
because , especially after asking how to hold him , would sakura have known how to hand him off or put him down ?! there was the idea that wiz might have been heavier in his mind than he really was , too --- the occasional night of being practically suffocated by wiz's entire body on his face as he tried to sleep had lent itself to things .
' wiz usually has a good sense for people , though ... ! ' he nervously hesitates , then mildly continues on : ' maybe even better than me , aha ... '
after all , how many times had wiz tried to protect him from someone dangerous before he even understood that they were a danger ? likewise , maybe the people that he could burrow himself into and still feel completely , utterly safe beside , were different from daisuke's own ideas , if not fears and worries of them .
--- still , the only one who'd end up transforming just from something like a hug and cuddle wasn't wiz , but his owner .
' um , do animals not usually like you , sakura-san ... ? ' it doesn't take long for daisuke to anxiously shoo away his own question --- he didn't want sakura to find more offense in things somehow and end up growling at him like a disturbed animal herself . ' it can depend on the animal or its personality , sometimes , but most of the time , as long as you're patient and gentle ... and willing to take care of them a little , then i don't think there's any reason that you couldn't be --- ! '
because even if he didn't actually know whatever it was he was apparently supposed to know , ( yanno --- ? ) he wanted to at least believe in that much ; in sakura's capabilities if not the entirety of her own self . anyone that could hold wiz while he slept could have been trusted with just about anything ...
( ... anything ? )
' er --- wha ... ? ' all of the sudden , his cheeks inflame . it's only now that he seems to realize the way sakura's pointedly looking at him . it's in the next instant too that he practically bursts with volume . ' oh , sorry !! did i say something weird ?! i didn't mean anything by it ! really ... ! ' stupid , stupid ! ' of course it's nice for him ! i mean , i-it's probably amazing ?! i just ... s-sorry , i'll be right back ... ! '
he can hear wiz's head pop up with a small , curious : kyuu ? and the ensuing animal thrash to break out of sakura's arms . all the while , his shoes slam against the pavement as he starts to turn rapid corners . he's let his guard down --- whether he really was or whether he wasn't about to , what would he do if he transformed ... ?! then again , maybe it was better to just let it come ? even as he tells himself not to think about anything , even as he tries to run away , the thoughts still come in a buzzing barrage , bursting past every wall and flooding his mind , his body and his heart . wanting to be held too , wanting to be able to hold someone , anyone , even just once --- there was no way he could have ever admit anything like that . some things were easier for an animal ; simpler , and despite the sharpening whet of his teeth in his mouth , or the painful split at his shoulders giving way to folded black wings , his laments remained all too human .
( i've gotta find someplace to hide --- ! )
a cursory thought and survey of his surroundings interrupted by the crying sound of wiz fast-racing towards him . daisuke --- dark's shoulder's jump . ' no , wiz --- ! ' any amount of his melancholy instantly turns into a silent scream of anxiety --- his heart leaps from a sprint to an even more painful race . ' don't come here ! go somewhere else ! ' if wiz had already left sakura , then --- ! ' you're going to lead sakura-san right towards me --- !! '
He thinks, and it should...do something, probably, but it doesn’t—really and truly, she is almost entirely focused on the little rabbit in her arms. It probably isn’t really fair to focus on’im like this, but she can’t entirely help it, either.
The idea that a rabbit would be heavy for her is just as outta the blue as the allergy question, though, enough to make Haruka raise an eyebrow in genuine disbelief; “D’ya really think it’s possible for’im to get too heavy for me?”
Is there somethin’ else he’s worryin’ about?? She can’t help but be confused as all shit; ‘cause sure, she ain’t exactly the poster-perfect example of knowin’ what the hell to do in just about every situtation possible, but geez! She’s muscles and strength all over—she’s trained this body of’er’s for years, dammit!!—so how the hell can he stand there and worry about somethin’ like a rabbit’s weight???
“He can’t even be but, what, a couple’a kilograms? I can handle that—honest.”
(And if she sounds a little desperate adding that on, shut up about it; most of it’s eclipsed by a bit more offense, too, anyway, so may ‘s well focus on that.)
“...‘people he really likes’, though...” All the offense leaves her in a second at the thought, the rest of her thought dying with her voice; he’s decided she’s one of’em? One of the people he not just likes, but really likes?
“...I’d’ve never thought that I could be. I—I’ve never been, yanno...”
Liked. She spent fifteen years not being liked, being hated, by everyone around’er. Moving here to Makochi has been somethin’ else in terms of all that, of course, and even meetin’ Dai has been, too, but...she’d have never considered something like this. She’d never even imagined that she would one day be holdin’ someone, something, so intent to be close to her that they’re diggin’ into her hold, small white paws pressin’ and pushin’ with a determination she didn’t even think a rabbit could have. He even headbutts her, too, his fuzzy head thumping against her chest before he finally seems to get comfortable, all his movement stoppin’ and just...just laying there, in her arms, right up against her...
It’s— He’s so—
She doesn’t know what it’s like. But... She likes it. A lot.
“I won’t do that stuff, then.” She promises, even if it is a little more than half-distracted. “But ‘m glad I ain’t doin’ it wrong already, too.”
Not that she meant to add that out loud, but she doesn’t mind too much that she did (what could she mind, right now?). His follow-up, though, confuses her a bit, her mismatched brows joining together outta confusion as she glances at him.
“Whaddya mean by that?” She asks—not accusing, and nowhere near the realm of anger. She genuinely just doesn’t know what he means, especially with his own tone; What’s he sound sad for? Does he want Wiz back already, or is he...?
“If he’s lookin’ like he’ll sleep, doesn’t it mean that it is nice for’im?”
#*・゚⊰ IC. ⊱#CANON.#cherriedrage#THE GLANCE AT HIM WAS A ONE SHOT KILL. 😭😭😭😭#HE WASN'T EXPECTING IT!!!!!!! HE THUGHT SHE WAS LOOKING AT WIZ!!!!!!! HE THOUGHT SH'E D -KEEP- LOOKING AT WIZ!!!#DAI VC WHHHHY ARE YUO LOOKING AT ME?!!??!?!?!? <- IMMEDIATELY COMBUSTS#HE WASN'T READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111#YOU SNIPED HIIM!!!!!!!!!!!! /SNIPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!/#HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE HIS MOMENT ADMIRING SAKURA AND WIZ!!! MAYBE A LITTLE SADLY BUT HE WOULD'VE LIVED!!!#/NOT THIS/#DAI (DARK) VC IM GONNA HURL#i was spposed to queue this too but i got scared abt it getting eated so its delivered on the spot. enjoy
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Saudi Arabia is currently doing is sportswashing, and it is NOT okay.
Sportswashing is a term used to describe the practice of individuals, groups, corporations, or governments using sports to improve reputations tarnished by wrongdoing. [wikipedia]
By signing multiple [washed] players for their league and not producing any young "talent" all they're doing is drawing attention away from their own nationals and trying to fit in already popular footballers. They want you to watch the Saudi league without thinking of Saudi Arabia.
Saudi Arabia, along with basically the rest of the middle east has committed multiple human rights violations in terms of migrant workers, sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, the list goes on. And they get away with a lot of it because they are viewed as "unflinching" religious states - the same unflinching state that bent their own Islamic law just so Ronaldo could play for them, reportedly - and get conservative backing. But when the left (or to be honest, decent human beings) try and criticize them and bring these things to light, they disguise them through participating in sports events. I'm only familiar with the [recent] football examples of this:
Manchester City & Newcastle being [majorly] owned by Emirati and Saudi GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS. Newcastle is literally DIRECTLY OWNED by the Saudi government through their treasury jesus
PSG literally being fucking owned by Qatar???
The 2022 World Cup being held in Qatar (Saudi also bid on the 2023 Women's WC as well but lost)
And obviously, Saudi Arabia beginning to push its own football league by signing (poaching) multiple players and not fostering any of their own talent.
Human right violations are not Muslim doctrine.
By playing for, and promoting, the Saudi league, you are either saying you don't care about the human right violations going on in the region, or you agree with them.
Every player is part of the problem. Including that one you like.
In these trying times, let's not lose the plot. I've seen people on Twitter, Instagram and even on here try and spin Saudi league criticism into some sort of islamophobia thing when that's as far from the point as you could get. It is anti-Muslim to commit the violations that are currently going on in the middle East.
Just had to remind you all.
Read more abt sportswashing on the wikipedia article and its attached sources
#football#long post#this is shit and I just threw this together I hope it makes at least some level of sense#its been bothering me and I wanted to say something about it#as someone who is NONE of the things saudi arabians like (african; gay; non-binary; feminist; funny)#saudi arabia#saudi league#al nassr#never tagging that again yuck
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
"YES, I GLEANED THAT FROM WHAT YOU TOLD ME, THANK YOU."
Why else would Vox have called him here specifically and made it a point to state how he'd not been with anyone else? Whatever is presently existing in him is the combined act of them both. And that is why Alastor is both bothered and concerned, his fear and overarching struggle with the unspoken weight of expectation feeling like a vice that is closing around his throat and threatening to pierce flesh with jagged teeth.
Vox's sudden turn to both tears and an obvious desire to run before Alastor can say his piece is enough to force his hand - a tendril slips its way from his spine to surge forward and wrap itself around Vox's wrist. Not at all permitting him to escape this conversation before it can come full circle to an eventual conclusion. He will not let the thing linger.
Not like he has before.
"You bring me here to laden me with sixteen pieces of information that has never once occurred to me to even be possible and you anticipate me simply digesting it and providing you adequate comfort in the course of a few minutes? You fucking impatient sop." There is anger in his tone, but so too is there his own brand of panic in the face of the loss of control. The filter in his tone is strong, the deep buzz of radio interference weighing each word down.
"And then you have the gall to turn tail and try to escape the conversation you started?! How is that fair?"
Selfish. Impertinent. As Vox has always been.
"If you wanted a coin-operated outcome to this situation then I am afraid you will not get it from me. I am not some machine you input information into and get what you want. This is the culmination of both of our actions, is that not what you're saying? Because if so, I will ask you kindly to shut the fuck up and allow me to think for five seconds before you scream and cry about me not reacting in the picture-perfect way that you've envisioned!"
Alastor does not often lose his cool in this way - he has spent far too many years masking; keeping himself above.
But this is... not something he has ever prepared for.
He is begging for just a few minutes.
Of course a stated fact could be easily misconstrued with tensions running so high and maybe there was a trace of him there that could be blaming Alastor. Vox is merely left staring at him appalled. Mouth agape. Having everything Valentino had threw at him yesterday come to the forefront. This being all his fault. Some affront to not just Val but Alastor too.
The claws digging into the host's arms sink deeper.
All that apprehension and stomach churning worry twisting to defence and moral outrage. "Oh yeah! Cause when I'm so horny my brain is literally starting to fry itself the first thing that's on my mind is a biology lesson! Should I have brought diagrams and note cards?!"
There was no precedent.
As Alastor goes on Vox flinches like he's struck him. Letting him go and taking a step back. The wrath and ire that had been swirling to life suddenly cold and frigid. His eye pulses, not because he's calling on his power but because his control is starting to slip. He worries that the electricity in his body is going to go off in a chaotic burst. It's a much harsher reality though.
The only thing that escapes him is tears down his digital screen. And isn't that pathetic.
"I came to you because it would be our kid, Al!"
A hint of distortion in his tone. Said a bit helplessly because it should be obvious. Shouldn't it? This wasn't a one night stand. There might not be a label on exactly what they're doing but after so many declarations... They were supposed to be in this together.
"I should have just told you over the phone and dealt with it myself." Genuine bitterness bleeding in as he turns his back to frantically wipe at his face, "So you wouldn't have to be inconvenienced with my problems!"
Energy cackles. Hair stands on end. He's getting ready to jump. Ready to run. As every worst possible outcome and insecurity comes roaring back through his mind.
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
quick random poll because this has been bugging me since frontiers came out
cutscene in question -> X
#if you have stuff to say please tell me i wanna hear thoughts on this#not to sway the poll but its felt like such a weird cutscene to me and not right for their characters#but i dont know if i have any reasoning for it#something about how maybe knux is too trusting ? but he really hasnt been lately#tryna work it out in my head. different situations sonics been in and how hes handled them#he kinda just rolled with merlina. then again she wasnt directly working against him at the start. same with shahra#maybe im getting a mix of idws sonic in it and thats whats rubbing the wrong way#its got a similar feel to the whole 'i can fix them' attitude he has toward enemies and rivals in those comics that just isnt my favorite#dont want to get into idw arguments but it does bother me#rraaaaaa ive gotta stop trying to analyze sonics character its gonna drive me crazy#rambles#sth#sonic frontiers spoilers#anyway this is just genuine curiosity and asking for clarification if anyone does think its in-character and why#i like hearing thoughts on this stuff#can you tell its midnight for me
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like girls and i like to talk about liking girls. you'd think this would be a good thing among girl likers but sometimes it does not feel like that at all
#i try not to let it bother me but it bothers me yall#attraction is normal and cool until youre actually attracted to someone. apparently.#cilly.txt#i even exaggerate it sometimes. can you believe that#i know this is about ego death and the evil fucking internal gold star lesbian thing for me but god#i wish i just didnt tell people things sometimes#because i get too comfortable talking to people and then they'll say sth and ur like oh. Oh#right.#i didn't need to say that that couldve been an inside thought#i want to share all of myself but it will never not lead to me being hurt#and thats normal kinda right. its life. but i dont like being hurt any more than your regular person#and then once they jab at something i'm actually insecure about i'm like oh okay.#like it kinda came out of nowhere today but in hindsight i knew that about myself already so it's really. hm#anyway. im gonna go draw some cats
12 notes
·
View notes