#its been TWO SESSIONS
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I have been spraying straight liquid out of my ass for almost half an hour now someone PLEASE kill me
#goblin mode#ibs posting#''i kinda feel like i have to poop im going to do that before bed' <- me in the past naive and clueless the fountain i was going to become#its been TWO SESSIONS#like i say here for god knows how long dying and thought i was done THOUGH it was over and went to finish getting ready for bed#then#right as i layed down i felt another gurgling a cramp in my guts#and now here were are once more#round two electric boogaloo#someone save me#i would KILL for some baby wipes rn PLEASE 馃様馃様馃様
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would you bite the hand that feeds you?
#pearlescentmoon#smajor1995#wild life smp#namemc spoilers#i hope these two never get along in the storyline i find them fascinating#OKAY SO#originally i had this sketch back in session 2 when scott manages to throw her something actually edible JUST IN TIME#and now with the namemc spoilers of pearl ACTUALLY having a yellow eye which does! kind of match scotts esp since he died for this#i figured itd be an appropriate time#i did edit it though the original was pearl eating smth#now do i think scott and pearl has had any Major (heh) interactions to warrant this fanart in WL?#frankly no LMAO theyve been very civil you go guys . but i like the dynamics between them anyway#also i finally got a piece with scott!!! hes been very hard to draw goodness#anyway long rambly tags#eydidraws#my art#mcyt#trafficblr#galaxyduo#majormoon#** i say civil because its just been more on verbal light jabs at each other rather than anything Really significant ?#and well. its obvious all 3Gs are being very careful around each other which makes me JUST A L IL SAD#id love to see them let loose and be vicious but i also understand the angle theyre coming from#anyway can you tell i like the 3g dynamics
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If I'm not too late, could I get an Optimus & Bumblebee hug? I think everyone needs some dad Prime cuddles today.
Even Dad Prime needed the Dad Prime cuddles...
#art#jenstoart#optimus prime#bumblebee#hugs#transformers#transformers g1#two of these in one hug request session I never would have guessed#im glad though#its been a long time since ive drawn a transformer and two whole friends asked me for my literal favorite part
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my toxic trait is i cant accept the roll over and die mentality even when someone tells me theres nothing u can do im always like arson is an option forever btw
#my therapist calls it resilience i call it stupidity#and its been the bulk of our sessions yes#the problem is when i say arson is an option i do wholeheartedly admit it#like oky so step one: find a way to fit into the system or work it or whatever to achieve ur goals#step two if step one fail: destroy the system
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Been doing a lot of figure drawing recently. here are some of the free references I've found helpful in case anyone would like to join me!
https://www.deviantart.com/phelandavion
https://www.deviantart.com/theposearchives
https://www.pinterest.com/jookpubstock
https://www.adorkastock.com/
https://www.deviantart.com/null-entity
https://www.youtube.com/@NewMastersAcademyorgNMA
#im trying to shake off the last bits of a lengthy art block and its helping me a lot to do really quick sketches#zeet studio has been esp fun (but theyre not free. they do have a session up for two dollars rn tho and its so much fun)#al chatters
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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#i haven't been able to go through tumblr recently#i have a bunch of stuff ive needed to do and i haven't done any of it!!#i'm behind on secret life too :[ i saw pearl's episode last week but i haven't been able to watch any other POVs#or anything from session 2 which is sad#i don't wanna mute the tags so i'm just staying off the dash#but hopefully HOPEFULLY soon i get to have time where it's just me and i can just Draw#this weekend was nice but i am still doing a bunch of stuff#some good stuff too! my friends are lovely! but still stuff. and coursework.#gonna have to live like a hermit for the next while in order to have fun online and make fanart /silly#time to last minute work on my second group presentation project in two weeks!#delete later#the words of a fudgecake#[scheduled]#edit: after this was posted i broke up with my ex of almost a year lmao (its a good thing dw)
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my roleplay for the backstory reveal scene was kind of hindered by what im now understanding to be pretty intense emotional exhaustion. i just didnt quite realise you could become emotionally exhausted from joy and excitement
#something something dopamine crash ?#plus its just been a BUSY pasy few days#i was actually kind of upset after the session but after getting home and lying down for two full hours and replaying the series of scenes#in my mind#im realising that actually i do quite enjoy the way it played out :]#i just was not physically able to experience the all consuming brainrot hyperfixation DURING the session. but i do like what was created#and will be enjoying it thusly#textpost tag
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Im not gonna cut my hair for a long time (I miss it long, though I don't really regret cutting it)
#Just had to do a factory reset on my hair to be able to take care of it in the future#I would dye it a lot and spent years brushing it dry#AKA the stuff I project into clover lmao#only difference is that she bleaches hers and I wasn't not THAT evil to my curly hair#Also I'm not technically ginger anymore so thats fun#context for that is that my hair is strawberry blonde (blonde part was closer to dirty blonde so it was a little darker)-#but over the last two years of me dying over it with black I didn't realize that my natural color had been getting darker#so that's fun. its just kinda a warm brown now#apparently its not uncommon for people with blonde hair to have it eventually turn brown#andy rambles#it might keep getting darker. idk#its a medium kinda shade rn so I guess over the next couple years I'll keep yall updated??#anyways thats it for todays yap session
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okay is it actually my new meds making me feel shit or is it me choosing to listen to sufjan stevens before 7am on a work day. 馃樁鈥嶐煂笍
#it probably doesnt help watching miserable movies and then crying myself to sleep early.... well.#ik it might just be me placebo effecting w these meds so trying not to fall into it. tbf its been a stupidly busy few weeks#and being tired and in pain makes it difficult to stay afloat! and ive missed both gym sessions i wanted to do this week#and i always feel shite when i miss a gym session or two... whatever i already agreed to try it for two months anyway#at least this is my last working day this week..... lord work is gonna feel long tho they surprised me with 20x samples yesterday#so thats like. at least 5 continuous hours of work. lets just get it over with#AND im lonely i want to talk to someone abt all this health shit and this overwhelming urge im having to get Out#but my roommate is too low empathy to give a fuckkk and it clearly makes her uncomfortable and everyone else is too busy#but thats okay ive always gotten thru shit alone before and ill do it until i die innit. not that big a deal anyway im being melodramatic#man i need to start getting laid regularly again. irrelevant but not really its always a bit relevant i <3 thinking with my dick#sigh.....okay well see yall later#.diaries
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already day dreaming about an animatic idea for my current CoC campaign for a scene that hasn't even happened but I know it will line up with the song, it's joeover.
#worse that this is set like. late late game.#bro what are you on about your players havent even gotten pass your first three lines of notes nevermind the fucking late game#mf its been two sessions calm down#alright im normal now rant over#and im sure there is no correlation with any of my future media posted here with this post. none what so ever
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how...how write kiss
#listen its been almost a decade yall think i can remember what a makeout session was like#especially like the first one between a couple these two aint mauling each other affectionately yet
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I know the radio members hate to see me opening the arcane score on my computer
#its my radio labeling session that im running and I get to choose the music#and the music for the past two days has been arcane soundtrack. except for the break where two of us made the others listen to tma#they will know the concerto performed by ray Chen. they will.
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Then she asked softly, "How long?" It took the entirety of his three centuries of training to keep the devastation, the agony for her, from his face. "Two months, three days, and seven hours." Her mouth tightened, either at the length of time, or the fact that he'd counted every single one of those hours apart.
#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Rowaelin#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Chapter 35#Two months three days and seven hours.#the fact he counted Aelin to the hour#Two hundred three years twenty-seven days ago.#Heir of Fire quote paralell#break my heart#She ran her fingers through her hair its strands floating around her in the water. Still too long for two months to have passed.#They healed me after each ... session. So that I stopped knowing what had been done and what was in my mind and where the truth lay.#Erase her scars and Maeve stood a better chance at convincing her none of this was real.#But the healers couldn't remember how long my hair was or Maeve wanted to confuse me further so they grew it out.#Her eyes darkened at the memory of why perhaps they had needed to regrow her hair in the first place.#Do you want me to cut it back to the length it was when I last saw you? His words were near-guttural.#No. Ripples shivered around her. I want it so I can remember. What had been done to her what she'd survived and what she had protected.#we went from The shame I鈥檒l carry until my last breath to But if it was death seperating us I would find you.
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mod kitty do u want a hug
yes please
#going on a little rant in here#ive been stressed asf because 1. exams#and 2 i have two days for competitions back to back#and ive been missing my counselling sessions#competitions arent that bad they might be a highlight of my week actuallh#but its gonna make me soo so so tired because im usually already fatigued so much its hard to interact w people sometimes#and stress makes it like 10x worse#but like if i dont overwork myself to the point my body's screaming i dont feel productive#so im basically doing thru a cycle of feeling like shit to feeling like shit to feeling like shit ykwim#but yeah#mod kitty#mod kitty shitposts#not a take
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jake and i are hesitantly planning for japan again in october 2025 or 2026 and the downside is thats soooooo long from now and the upside is october is objectively a better month than may to be in japan
#COLORED LEAVES. MOST SCHOOL YEARS IN SESSION. COOLER WEATHER DEPENDING ON WHEN IN THE MONTH/IF U GET LUCKY.#also it gives me plenty of time to plan to knit. like hmmm yes two weeks in japan you say well perhaps i will knit myself a sweater and a#cardigan with this specific trip in mind#(these days i am knitting either extremely cool or extremely warm things so having enough notice to switch my focus to mid-autumn items#will really help me actually have something finished to wear there) (my cotton sweater works fine for that weather too but as soon as a cool#breeze blows it is allllll over) (so i ak considering knitting a merino/mohair pullover sweater and a next-to-skin cardigan i can throw on#for chilly mornings/nights) (knitting is fun and i like planning projects ive wanted to do anyway around events in my life)#anyway ive been knitting vests these days i made one with some yarn i snagged on sale but its WAY TOO SMALL!!!!#so im making a second out of some leftover lettlopi i had from my sweater last winter#t
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