#its been 7 years guys
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skunkes · 5 months ago
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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ruporas · 1 year ago
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all I wanted was to save them... (ID in alt)
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bittersnsweetz · 7 months ago
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ohhh my god i just realised why i love narumitsu so much, despite the obvious (mutual pining, slow burn, one-sided enemies, to friends, to distant friends, to close friends, to lovers all that good stuff)
its BECAUSE they have a shared emotional journey that is so narratively satisfying to me that as im typing this im barely able to contain my stimming
phoenix defends miles, so convinced he can save him and is almost blinded by that fact because he knows edgeworth as so good and so pure and he totally definitely absolutely would never willingly hurt anybody and then he ghosts him for a year which phoenix obviously interprets as yet another person abandoning him, leaving phoenix to pick up the pieces, and that whole time phoenix is beating himself up because wow this is just like when he put all his love on the line for dahlia and it turns out she was just using him this whole time and the absolute mess of emotions that arises when edgeworth comes back, alive, with no apology whatsoever.
and then two years later phoenix loses his job and edegworth is trying so hard to help and be there for him while also juggling his prosecutor job and the challenges that arise from adjusting to a new justice-driven mindset, but phoenix is already closing himself off and refusing to talk about it because hes stingy and secretive and edgeworth has seen the stingy in passing but never to this extent, where he can tell that phoenix NEEDS someone but apparently that someone isnt going to be him. and he's on call with him one night and he hears trucy for the first time and hes mortified because so many complicated emotions and questions arise from that alone: "wright are you sane" "wright are you seeing someone" "wright why didnt you tell me about this so i could help you" and i do think edgeworth gets overwhelmed by all this at once, the secrecy, the daughter, the friend who visits phoenix every now and again, the lack of healthy communication. and suddenly everything that he thought theyve worked so hard to build together has come crashing down and theres nothing phoenix will let him do to help
and its the shared parallel of the initial proposal to help "let me defend you"/"let me be there for you" being completely rejected and the repeated efforts to do so being met with a sudden shift (prosecutor miles edgeworth chooses death/i have a daughter and a new friend who helps me now) and how its so difficult for the both of them to realise at the time that its for their sake that they're doing it, that neither of them are doing this to hurt the other intentionally (although for phoenix i definitely think theres spite involved, but not to the degree to which edgeworth ends up experiencing what he does emotionally), and the idealisation that gets completely shattered by reality
just. UGH. the full circle that is them, after everything is said and done, finding closure in each other again, however non-linear that journey is, and, this is important, CHOOSING to still stay with the other through anything and everything that comes to pass, and truly SEEING the other behind their professional masks. Seeing them entirely and not just the attractive parts. im rabid.
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beaulesbian · 9 months ago
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i was rereading some water 7 chapters, and the introduction of kaku was so funny. i love when luffy and zoro are using the same braincell even at a distance
luffy meeting kaku, ch. 325 "usopp?"
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and zoro meeting kaku, ch 326 "oh, just usopp"
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vs. Egghead arc and meeting kaku again post time skip - with nothing really changing of how luffy perceives some people (ch. 1078)
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and also kaku meeting zoro on the sunny on Egghead prior the scene above and their lines echoing the first meeting on Water 7 - "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" vs here "Who dares to disturb my nap?"
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 3 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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dayurno · 1 year ago
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kevin day is like. he's a child star. he's experienced an incomprehensible amount of labor abuse and inhumane working conditions. he was taken from his home country by a close relative with bad intentions. he's a cult baby. he grew up in captivity underground. every bad thing that could happen to a human being has happened to him at some point. he is happier than most of us when he can kick a ball for a living.
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gadgetini · 1 year ago
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get my swag on
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lowkey-loki245 · 2 months ago
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I have things I want to say, but SOCIETY won't let me (I am very passionate about how Bradford's and Scrooge's relationship counts as abusive, even if they're just business partners, but most people would probably be weirded out by the idea of Scrooge Mcduck (2017) being an abuse victim).
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meirimerens · 5 days ago
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Sainte Hildegard of Bingen patroness of literate women I'm gonna ask you to pray for my Average Intelligent Unfortunately Undisciplined ass on that one
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chlotual-archive · 11 months ago
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hello chlo nation i start in person classes this evening im kinda nervy but also excited ^.^ yayy for education
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jasper-crow · 1 year ago
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I guess this is first time all 30 of y'all who follow me get to see my face lol. I just feel very cute today in my uniform with my new belt and glasses.
💙💙💙I love love love accessorizing my work uniforms 💙💙💙
(You're okay to reblog if you want y'all)
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cator99 · 2 months ago
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You know you're about to get the best T shot of your life + some strong opinions on the bullshit ways people are doing it when u go in to a rural pharmacy and the 55 year old guy behind the counter is so jacked he barely fits into the damn lab coat
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mr-stottlemonk · 9 months ago
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made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.
[more in the tags]
[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]
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kaiser1ns · 3 months ago
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seek my vision please young chika and 2018 jungkook LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME !!! THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!!
(i shall now seek answering the asks in my inbox)
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chuuzmii · 5 months ago
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While im on a roll i might as well talk about how tiktok 911 fans think buck cheating doesn't count. And ik what ur saying "Michu tiktok fans really? U shouldn't talk about their opinions cus their brain stems look like swiss cheese!!" Ik tumblr user and i understand but i still want to talk about it.
Anyway so like tiktok fans are saying buck kissing lucy doesn't count as cheating because "Lucy fed him alcohol and got him drunk then sa'd him" and like ik buck has a history of sa. That thing with the therapist was so fucking icky and genuinely made me concerned with the writers because like wtf?? How did u think thT was okay??? so like i get it but i think sometimes u guys sort of .. woe is me buck a little bit to make him the Squeaky Clean White Boy™ because Lucy did not force feed Buck drinks what the fuck. Literally canonically we only see her give him maybe one or two drinks the rest of the time he's drinking with EVERYONE? and we have seen buck belligerently drunk and he was not that there. I also find this crazy because when he retracted consent LUCY LET HIM? Like i feel like some of u guys just have this deep need to villify every woman that comes into contact with eddie and buck and its weird. Some of u guys have some real internalized misogyny to work through brother. Buck cheated. Its okay. Buck could punch an old lady in the head and i promise i wouldnt gaf. But some ppl just HAVE to have buck be perfect and pure so they just make up the worst shit they can about the 911 women its so strange and baffling
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puhpandas · 6 months ago
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I cant wait to wait 6 months for my Gregory plushie to arrive when they release it (⬅️hates youtooz)
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