#its an easy misunderstanding
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tomicscomics · 1 year ago
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11/10/2023
Aw...
JOKE-OGRAPHY: The class is drawing pictures of Bible verses.  The girl, Agnes, chooses to draw one of her favorites, but she's misheard the words.  In the actual story, Jesus tells His disciples "parables" (or stories with morals).  She mishears "parables" as "pair of bulls," so she thinks Jesus had two disciples who were male bovine.  She's excited to draw Jesus's animal friends and has a whole headcanon where they're the children of a cow who was in the manger when Jesus was born.  The news that she's misheard the story destroys her, and it takes weeks for her faith to recover.
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mad-jesters · 24 days ago
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i think boromir is the type of person to be so...... devoting. To serve. boromir devotes himself to whoever, whatever it is that he holds close to his heart. We see that with his family, with faramir, and mostly with gondor. He is her heart all along.... and i think it doesnt matter which kind of love it is because boromir is a person that is willingly going to offer his whole being for that.....
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ttvck · 1 year ago
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is noah aware of hes expressionless face?? how does he feel boutit
he knows but he cant tell in the moment since he cant see himself.....in his mind hes smiling big while in reality hes ●_● 
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texanmarcusdavenport · 6 months ago
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I'm sorry but the idea that Oliver "We're a package deal" "Without Kaz, there's no me" "I'm always thinking 'what can I do for Kaz? How can I make him happy?'" "Only you and I could've [figured that out], that's why we're best friends" Nolastname would EVER be (seriously) homophobic to Kaz or stop being friends with him bc of his sexuality is laughable
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hotsugarbyglassanimals · 10 months ago
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i feel like this site leaning heavily into the "pedophilia and incest and rape kinks are good" angle lately can be attributed to the mass expulsion of sex workers and black ppl on here ngl
#like gonna be honest these r the two groups that have far more of an understanding of how these r linked to colonialism and exploitation -#to be able to wholeheartedly oppose them w/out hesitation#like if youre a sex worker you'll likely see farrrrr more clients who are total strangers specifically seeking out children#by virtue of trying to protect said children in whatever way that you can#its easy to form opinions in the abstract if you straight up do not witness these events time and time and time again#and thinking about my ancestry + history of black exploitation especially against black children ...#i dont fully buy into the idea of 'these are exclusively issues of the nuclear family structure'. FAR more nuanced than that#as of the current society we live in.. the very family dynamic is one of inescapable relationships#if you can imagine how hard it can be when two people in a relationship have a lot of overlaps in friends have an awful break up#a relationship within the family would be much harder to reckon with. you cant just pack it up and walk away so easy#most of the ppl on here defending this shit do not even buy into it for themselves. it is entirely for roleplay purposes#they can put it away when theyre done#no disgust isnt always a good moral informant. but i will say i felt appauled reading the words 'incest fans' said in a cutesy way#ppl seem to misunderstand when black bloggers say incest kinks are a white ppl thing#what they mean is white ppl never have to reckon with the TRUE magnitude of power imbalances. it's treated like a fucking game#you never had to stand and feel the weight of knowing your ancestors are lighter than before because of the countless times white slave -#- owners raped them
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television-overload · 1 year ago
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I hope my coworker isn't ever on NCIS tumblr because I'm about to tell you I just mentioned NCIS in the break room and excitedly told her about the Tiva spinoff, and she said "ugh" and talked about how much she dislikes Ziva and how her character "made no sense" LOOOOL
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ribstongrowback · 2 months ago
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after trying to play Uknown Armies for a while i think that what bothers me is that it didn't go hard enough into its weird shit and instead is kind of stuck in the time of monsters between the sandboxy days of old and the more ritualized, codified phases of play of modern storygames such as blades in the dark. feels like a game that wanted to modernize its genre but didn't know where to go with it and ended up missing its mark.
While UA a game about driven people trying to do dangerous shit for profit and ideology, in a comparable (though very distinct) way to Blades in the Dark, it focuses also on very specific things that people can do with its magic, in a way that is tied to this philosophy of game design that i find good OSR tends to tease out which is giving people weird tools to see what people do with them. But it also gets very diluted and messy with everything else.
for those of you who haven't played it, UA's core resolution mechanic is a d100 roll under sort of affair. the main things under which you roll are attributes that are determined by how hardened you are on five Shock Gauges that represent the sort of trauma life throws at you (Helplessness, Isolation, Identity, Unnatural, and Violence). for example, being very hardened to violence will make you better at Struggle, which allows you to punch people, but worse at Connect, which allows you to relate to the folks you meet. your gauges accumulate Hardened notches which allow you to shrug off some kind of trauma whenever you manage to stand firm while faced with horror, and a secondary track takes up failed notches whenever you lose your shit, serving as a sort of insanity track. this system is already fairly rich and complete in itself, i'm only giving you the basic view of it, but it is fair to say you've already got a game with only that, and that is a problem, because what UA wants to be its core is its Identities.
Instead of skills, your character can put percentile points into Identities that represent core aspects of who they are. This can be a job, an occupation, a hobby, an art they perform or even just a belief they hold dear. In some circumstances, you can roll under your identity rather than the appropriate attribute, and failing a roll guarantees you'll get more points at the end of the session in that track, which is the only way to progress in something without getting worse at something else.
this is also where magick with a k comes in. if you wanna do magick, not only does it have to be one of your identities, it has to be THE identity that you obsess over. normies can obsess over normal things like tax filing, but you are obsessed with being so wrong about cinema that it allows you to do looney tunes shit to people. and the thing with this is that, what it wants to do, right, is give you something that you'll always want to use. it states outright in the book that it considers being a magic user in the same way as being an alcoholic, you never really cease to be one. it's always there and you can't ever really be anything else because a single drop can make you plunge again and it's always right here, waiting for you.
which i find interesting and compelling! you could make an entire game about this! there is so much stuff in there you could make an entire game about! but it's all so incoherent it ends up being less than the sum of its part. the core drive of the PCs in UA is to advance the Goal of their cabal. the goal is basically a track measured in percents and the players have to do stuff in the background to advance it. they just say that they do a thing and they think about how much time that take and then they roll d10+5 if it's a thing that's just kind of the cost of doing business and 2d10+10 if it's something that would bring them major advancement. and that's supposed to be the core of their personnal arcs. and it has basically 0 interractions with the part where you can make hats that melt people's heads. sorrow.
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ragnarokhound · 1 year ago
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re: your tags on the jason’s anger post~
hard agree!! i will read reconciliation fics bc like… i do enjoy them getting to be a happy family/group but ultimately, i am firmly in the Jason Todd Was Right camp, &. serious work would need to be done for him to ever actually be part of the family again, bc the actual roots of his issues run DEEP. (and again! he has points!!)
and also same again on like… if i mention the batfamily dynamics in my fics, with the exception of au’s, jason’s relationship with bruce especially is still at least a little strained. he’s a member but also kind of an outsider and maybe he has complicated feelings on that sometimes but ultimately it’s bc his convictions / beliefs run deeper than his need /want of acceptance / belonging.
anyway sorry to dump a rant in your inbox but, i loved your tags & wanted to reply 💞
OUUGHH YES THO!! THANK YOU FOR RANTING, ALWAYS RANT IN MY INBOX STAY IN THIS SPACE WITH ME <333
(I'm about to have a mini-rant of my own, and disclaimer, it's largely informed by my terrible foundation of the UTRH movie + fandom osmosis + the occasional page/panel drop/arguments from other fans skdndndj sO GRAIN OF SALT THE SIZE OF RHODE ISLAND: )
Because yes yes absolutely! It would take serious work on Both sides for Jason to be brought back into the fold. They would both need to want it, and someone would have to be willing to bend on what they are ok with letting slide. Bruce would have to allow Jason his independence and divergence in philosophy; Jason would have to make concessions to Bruce's hard anti-murder stance.
There would have to be compromise, and reparations of some kind. They would have to actually talk and be able to listen. Apologies exchanged (mostly from Bruce because lmao) and a bunch of stuff people with the whole picture could probably tell me better lmao. ALL HARD ASKS
Because yes yes yes!! Jason's convictions and his beliefs ABSOLUTELY run deeper than his desire for acceptance. That's not-so-low-key the biggest obstacle for both him and Bruce in their ever reconciling. It's why Talia was able to manipulate him at all (idk the specifics of that, but details), it's why he hatched a deeply convoluted plan to get back at Bruce and the Joker and fuck over Black Mask in one fell swoop.
He wanted to confront Bruce with the consequences of letting Joker run around even after committing a deeply heinous and personal crime. Show him that taking a more intense and hands on approach and cracking down HARD on the crime families in Gotham would have more immediate results than what Bruce did. And that's not even getting into the Robin stuff yet lol
I don't personally agree per se with Jason's stance on murder and crime fighting lmao - but I also think he has a goddamn point, especially in this universe. In the world of batman, where death can be impermanent and supervillains pull all kinds of heinous, torturous bullshit, Jason has a lot of righteous and justified anger about how Bruce does things, on top of his hurt and betrayal over how both he and his death were treated.
Bruce's stance makes sense to me too, in a 'everyone deserves a second chance' and 'no one is beyond redemption' and 'its a slippery slope' perspective. But at some point you have to wonder about accountability. About what's acceptable. When the Joker is an unrepentant, murderous, sadistic criminal who has demonstrated that he cannot be adequately jailed or rehabilitated, what do you do? Do you ever give up on him? When is enough enough? Is the death penalty ever justifiable?
It's what makes Jason vs Bruce's arguments interesting and tragic to me, because from Jason's perspective, he is seeking retribution for himself as a victim. He is an avenger for victims failed by the system as it stands. And the system fails a lot of people. It needs to change. (And it's something being felt very strongly by a lot of people rn IRL which makes Jason's ideals v sympathetic.)
But from Bruce's perspective, Jason has given up. He has lost hope in the inherent goodness of people. He no longer seeks to find the good in people; he has decided that there exists instead a sharp dichotomy, that there is such thing as a bad person who deserves to die for what they've done, and for being bad. As opposed to seeing deeply injured people who need help, even when you find them repulsive. Rotten work, that.
Bruce sees the end of the path that Jason is on, and it's a bullet that Jason puts in his own brain - because if there are good people and bad people, and bad people deserve to die... won't Jason lump himself in with the bad people eventually? (I am once again standing on my 'Jason Todd wants to die on some level' soapbox)
Anyway, all this to say - there is a sharp divide in Bruce and Jason's methods/beliefs that makes their reconciliation impossible if neither of them is willing to budge. And when they both see budging as a terrible thing to do, a failure to the very people they are dedicating their lives to protecting...well.
It's gonna take a lot of angst and a lot of work.
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buckets-of-creativity · 2 years ago
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I think the fact that since these people aren’t purposefully writing say an autistic or ADHD character, it means they don’t over think it. They don’t forget that this is still just a person with depth and heart. They pull from the archetype/trope bag, decide which ones they like, and then they build onwards without thinking too hard. They’re allowed to be “a character coded with X” and not “the X character”.
Could someone please tell me why the best, most well-written neurodivergent / autistic - coded characters are always BY ACCIDENT
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nicholaes · 2 months ago
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reading a book and one of the pov characters is British nobility and it's supposed to be like oh he can't understand these silly American commoners but it's so extreme it comes across like he's never interacted with another human being before 😭
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idontwant2drawu · 3 months ago
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art style theft is real? come up with your own shit? hello?
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nohara-rin-dot-mp3 · 4 months ago
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is there a connection between the many many back-of-her-head shots we get with rin in the manga and the eye framework? probably not, but im about to make one anyways.
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starfieldcanvas · 2 years ago
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@staff If you claim that most users want an algorithm or whatever, you're really going to need to back that up with data if you want a chance of the high-engagement high-community high-loyalty users believing you. It's POSSIBLE that all of us are in a bubble together and actually most of tumblr's traffic is an entirely different group of people, but the people who think of themselves as your core audience and actively identify as Tumblr Users? Those people are going to think you're insane for most of this post.
If there's some data backing this up, SHOW US, because this sounds like bullshit based on our lived experience.
Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy
Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.
The Diagnosis
In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 
Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 
To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.
Our Guiding Principles
To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.
Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Retain and grow our creator base.
Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.
Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.
Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.
Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 
We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.
Actions & Next Steps
Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.
Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.
Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.
We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.
The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.
Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 
Actions & Next Steps
Deliver great content each time the app is opened.
Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 
Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 
Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.
Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.
Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.
Actions & Next Steps
Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.
Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 
Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.
Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 
Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 
Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 
Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.
Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  
Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.
The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.
It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.
Actions & Next Steps
Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 
Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.
Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.
Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.
Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.
Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.
Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  
Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  
Actions & Next Steps
Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.
Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  
Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 
Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 
Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.
Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.
The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.
Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.
Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 
Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.
Conclusion
Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.
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jaggedamethyst · 3 months ago
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easy (bucky barnes x gn!reader)
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content: life with bucky is amazing…but it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough when your relationship is a secret.
secret relationship, miscommunication/misunderstanding, angst, self doubt, alpine!!!!! not proofread
notes: fawk tik tok but welcome everyone who is bored and here getting their bucky content now. real as fuck. (no sharon carter slander allowed around me ever btw.)
there will be a part two (possibly more but idk)
main masterlist
part two
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*  
“I never really understood the appeal of a secret relationship until now,” You glanced over to Bucky, “It’s kinda invigorating.”
He smirked, his lazy smile matching his relaxed figure—sprawled on the bed next to you. “Invigorating, huh?”
He had rushed over the night before, getting back to the compound and waiting for a good time to slyly step out. It became habit; he would say that he was coming back from a run in the mornings. If he ever was caught in the evening, he’d simply went on one of many errand trips.
The truth was, that people didn’t really notice him. Bucky Barnes could sneak out and back in relatively unchecked save for Steve. Even then, Bucky’s elusive nature made it easy for people to stop asking after a while. He knew the underlying issue was that they would never truly separate who he was with who he is now. It was okay, though, because he had you. Thats all that mattered.
Peoples’ concern for Bucky’s wellbeing and whereabouts dwindled—figuring he could handle himself. He loved that when everyone else could simply shut their minds off to the thought of a rehabilitated solider—you accepted him with warmth. That affection would never truly be lost on him.
You turned over in your bed, observing Bucky’s features. You couldn’t help the way your entire face upturned—truly invigorated by the sight.
He noticed your stare in his peripheral, “Like what you see?”
“Oh, please.” A pillow found its way in your grip, playfully smacking Bucky in his face. You quickly moved to leap off of the bed, but the attempt was futile, of course. The man had been able to lean over and grab you before you could even process the movement—pushing you firmly into the mattress. Without missing a beat, he leaned in to kiss you—smiling into it. His metal hand found a grip on your neck, just under your chin, and pulled you up into him. The pressure was delicate—the inherent weight of him using this arm not lost on either of you. The coolness spurred you on. Your arms snaked around his back and tightened at the feeling of his skin on yours; you’d never truly gotten used to the feeling.
It was an honor, truly, to be loved by James Barnes. It was even more so to love him. When you were able to bask in the morning sun like this, to kiss him like he could disappear, you never took it for granted.
The kiss quickly became overwhelming. Thoughts of the man filled your mind��mostly of how lucky you felt. Even more common at times like these was to feel as if you weren’t deserving…despite him constantly saying otherwise. He made sure to tell you daily, if not more often, that being a secret was to keep you safe. He couldn’t chance losing you, he’d say. He couldn’t live without you.
But something else clawed at your skull, telling you that maybe you just weren’t enough—that you didn’t look the way you should.
You pulled away, looking between his eyes. He was completely in a daze—lips reddened and swollen so quickly. A blush feathered its way over his cheeks, then, watching you look at him so intensely.
He swallowed, “What?” He pecked your lips quickly. “Am I just that good at kissing that you’re mesmerized by my talents?”
An involuntary huff escaped you and you quickly forgot that fleeting thought of inadequacy. You mirrored his smile before playfully pushing him off of you, finally moving off of the bed and toward the kitchen.
Bucky had a charismatic way about him that could be mistaken for immature. You knew better, though. In his new life he adopted optimism—a way to combat the thoughts he had. Feelings of his still being a horrible man. That he would never escape being an assassin. So when he looked at you and saw a growing somber look on your face, he didn’t expect the worst. He should’ve.
After some time passed, Bucky emerged from your bedroom. You gave him a quick look over the brim of your cup, sipping on your tea. You made a show of observing how he’d freshened up and changed into his signature dark clothing. The sight of Alpine snuggling up to his boot had you cheesing then.
He stalked over to you, planting a kiss on your cheek. “Gonna go stop by my place and get a few things…figured she would like the trip.” He leaned down to scoop up his cat. “Should probably also grab more of her food.” He motioned toward the now empty tupperware he had made into a makeshift transport for when the both of them would stay at your place.
“No worries. I should be tidying up around here anyways.” You reached up to hug him, leaving space for Alpine between you.
“I’ll be seeing ya, doll.”
You pushed into his shoulder at his silly remark, but decided to play along. “Be seeing ya, too, Sarge.”
With that he turned to leave—the white cat perched comfortably on his shoulder now.
The sound of the door closing immediately made you turn to survey your apartment. It wasn’t too bad—but could easily take a few hours to freshen up if you made a day of it. With a nod, you began tidying and cleaning to pass the time—occasionally checking your phone for a text or call from Bucky.
It was only way into the night that you began to get anxious. You knew about his job; at one moment there could be nothing and the next a universal threat they had to combat. You tried not to jump to worry, but it was so unlike him. There’d been times like this, where he would disappear. You would take the time, giving him space he probably needed—only to find him holed up in his apartment in the worst condition he’d ever been in. Images of him contracted in on himself and shoved into a dark corner played in your mind. You had to go check, to be sure.
Throwing on a matching sweat set, you shoved your phone and keys into your pocket, quickly making the trek to his place. It wasn’t far, but it wasn’t exactly close. For some reason you made the decision to walk there—the franticness and burn in your legs making the distance seem even larger.
Your chest burned, heaving as you turned the corner. The building came into view, finally. You quickly swiped the extra card he’d given you to enter the building. Every step felt like a march toward complete devastation. Your hands opened and shut, grasping at your hoodie. The elevator ride was torturous. You weren’t sure how you’d find him—the thought alone was driving you up a wall.
As you approached his door, your pace slowed. You dug into your pocket again, reaching for his key on your keychain. Just above the gasps of your breath you heard shuffling in his place—causing you to still. You were sure the expression on your face was one of confusion, wondering why he’d not let you know he got here at least. Just as you went to call his name, a voice spoke, muffled by the closed door. Without a thought, you leaned in at the sound—growing more cautious and remembering just how much Bucky told you to stay aware of your surroundings. With a tilt, you steadied your breathing. None of the words were coming clear to you. It was certain, though, that there was a woman in his place.
You took a long and drawn inhale before swiftly pushing in and turning the key to Bucky’s apartment.
The woman paused the call she’d been on, now looking at you. “I’ll call you back.” She pushed the phone into her pocket, looking at you expectantly. “Hi.”
“Hi?” You gave her a quizzical look, “Who are you?” You hadn’t meant to ask so bluntly.
The woman across from you didn’t move, clearly aware of the fact that you didn’t let the door close. Either you were really dumb…or someone taught you that. She stepped toward you, then, a hand outstretched. “I’m Sharon.” She observed your lack of motion except for a brow that arched at the introduction. “You must know Barnes, he sent me here to check on Alpine…can’t seem to find him.”
“Her.”
“Sorry?”
“Her…Alpine’s…a her.”
Sharon lowered her hand. “Didn’t know, sorry.”
Your grip on the door’s knob loosened a bit at the mention of Bucky and Alpine. Finally, you let the door swing closed behind you—stepping into his living room but keeping a distance.
You cleared your throat, “So where is he? That he couldn’t check on Alpine himself, I mean…”
“I um…” She paused, teetering on her feet. “I’m not sure I’m supposed to say-“
“I’m his friend,” you interrupted. You groaned internally at the attempt to make your presence at his place seem legitimate. “We’ve been friends for a while. Haven’t heard from him and wanted to see if he was okay.”
“So you just walked in?”
“Isn’t that what you did?”
The woman smiled, chuckling to herself. “Got a point there.” Silence filled the room again before she spoke again, “So…you’re a friend…with a key?”
“I watch Alpine when he’s out of town…he figured I should have one just in case he’s ever gone longer than expected.”
You surveyed the woman, looking for any questioning of your rehearsed reply. It was somewhat true…not entirely, though.
You chose to repeat your question, concern still sitting within you. “Where’s Bucky?”
The woman reached in her pocket, causing you to step away from her. She raised her arm—motioning for you to wait. Reflected back at you was her ID and badge. She worked with him.
“You should come with me.”
Just then, Alpine strolled around the corner, approaching you in recognition. You scooped her up the same as Bucky had, watching Sharon move toward the door. You inched back, allowing her the space to exit and for you to follow.
The car ride was uncomfortably silent. No words were exchanged between you and the only sound that resonated between the both of you being Alpines sweet purrs into your lap. Eventually you approached the compound. Bucky had never bought you here—thinking better of it. You followed Sharons swift motions, keeping a somewhat close distance on her trail. Looking around as you walked, you were overwhelmed. There were so many people, all of which Bucky didn’t want to know about you. There were so many weapons, so casually strewn about and waved around.
A shake of your head was inadvertent. You pulled Alpine in closer to you, sniffing in the lingering scent of Bucky on her.
The two of you rounded a corner, a few sectioned off rooms coming into view. Sharon quickly stepped into one, ushering you in.
She leaned down and clicked on a keyboard, speaking while looking at the computer screen. “Barnes was called up.” She clicked away, “We needed some undercover done and they had to be able to speak Russian…possibly other languages.” She side eyed you, making sure you were looking. “We have feeds on them at all times.”
She stood then, backing up to stand in line with you. You surveyed the screen, confused by the atmosphere, “Where is this?”
“Some arts gala…few hours away. We got word of illegal dealings happening a few weeks out so they’re doing recon.��
You nodded, watching the zoomed out view of the ballroom. A quick scan came up empty—no signs of Bucky at all. You saw Sharon in your side view, watching the various emotions littering your face.
She crossed her arms, “Barnes isn’t your friend.”
“No.” It wasn’t a question. You figured this would happen, Bucky said as much, that anyone he worked with would see right through you. You kicked yourself for how obvious you’d been, even when trying to be subtle.
“There they are.”
You looked over to her suddenly, “They?”
She moved to zoom in on the screen. “Yup, Barnes and Romanoff.” Sharon resumed her stance next to you. “See? He’s alright…figured this would ease your mind. I know how he can get.”
There was nothing out of the ordinary and you reasoned that you were just being overly cautious. Admittedly, you jumped to so many conclusions in such a small time.
The sound of Sharon’s phone going off filled the room. “I have to take this, but feel free to stay. I can take you back in a sec, okay?”
“Thank you, Sharon.”
She nodded before stepping out to take the call.
You sat down, allowing Alpine to observe the screen as well. “He’s doing just fine. That’s good, right?”
You looked down at Alpine for a second, amused by your own love for the cat—seeing as you weren’t fond of them as a whole. Generally, you were more of a dog person, but you compromised because Bucky loved her. You smiled at the thought of them, your own little family.
The absentminded circling on Alpine’s back stopped abruptly as you looked up at the screen again. You whispered to yourself, “What the fuck…”
In what seemed to be an average recon mission, seemed to linger a hint of something you didn’t quite like. The distance between Bucky and the woman was closing. His grip found her back, a secure hand there while the other held hers firmly. They were talking. You turned to look for Sharon, hoping there were mics on them. The smiles exchanged back and forth had your chest in pain—the same lazy smile he’d shown you just hours ago. Your body started to shake, pulsing at a frequency that left you feeling unstable. A hand secured you in the chair; you urged yourself to keep watching, even if to your own detriment.
He leaned in, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle. They moved apart, then, searching in one another’s gaze. In a split second, the pair’s lips met one another’s. You felt your eyes blink away a sting that approached you quickly. An immediate pain welled up in you. You couldn’t believe it. Clenching down on your teeth, you stood up quickly, moving closer to the monitor. Your finger trailed his face, looking for any sign that this was just an act—an elaborate ruse for the task at hand. Yet, there was nothing.
You couldn’t help but let the feelings of inadequacy cloud your judgement. You couldn’t help but doubt everything he’d ever said. You couldn’t help but cower away from yourself—scared of your own reflection now. It had to be true…you just simply weren’t enough. Someone else was better.
Feeling Alpine in your hands, you pressed a firm hug and kiss into her fur. You rubbed her reassuringly before setting her down in the chair. “I’ll see you later…okay?”
The cat seemed to look at you longingly—but you couldn’t let that stop your path. You had to get out of here. Swinging the door open, you stepped out into the hall and looked around for Sharon. She seemed to have disappear—of course. You took a few steps, unsure of which direction to go. To anyone watching, you seemed to stutter step. You’d move in one direction and question the next. Suddenly, a man came into view, towering over you.
He leaned down to meet your eyeline, “Hey.” He waved a hand in an attempt to break you from your trance. “You okay? You seem lost.”
“I just need to get out of here.” You move to step around him, “Excuse me.”
Your quick footsteps carried you toward the outside—the familiar burn of your legs reminding you of the feeling just an hour ago. How concerned you’d been, you thought, only for him to be hours away having the time of his life…without you.
Within a few minutes, you were able to find a ride and head home. Opening your apartment door hit you in a way you didn’t expect. You had cleaned everything, yes, but you had accidentally removed all traces of Bucky in your attempt to straighten up. The lack of him felt too real—hitting your chest with a force you couldn’t take.
In all your time together you hadn’t felt more connected to Bucky than right now. You empathized with him—sinking to the floor came easy. Letting yourself waste away in an effort to not acknowledge the pain was… easy. Sitting in the dark, ignoring calls, letting your mind run rampant.
I can do this, you thought. Reveling in the feeling of sadness was much easier than facing Bucky. So you simply…wouldn’t.
part two
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cardo-de-comer · 6 months ago
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soo helloo and i think it's time for me to explain the deal with my characters and this whole "you're not supposed to be here" thing. EDIT: just fixed some stuff. thank you folks for your support, i really appreciate you all <3
i made these characters way back in june and by today they have a lot of lore around them in my head. i even have a dream to make a game with them but it's just a dream for now so i'm gonna try to explain the main things about this story. Obviously this is a long post, although I tried to keep this stuff short. and excuse me for my writing and any mistakes, I don't usually write this much text.
It starts with the world. Alternate 15th century, humanity is almost gone and what's left of it shares quite a big city with demons and angels. However, demons and angels are usually being treated like servants - eventually one gets tired of it all, so everyone knows an uprising is just around the corner. Let's just ignore that for now.
The City has a catch of it's own - it's alive. The walls have eyes and ears and the City knows every resident by heart and soul, both figuratively and literally. Usually City acts through the King, it chooses protectors for itself, ones who have strong minds to comprehend it - they will be called the royal knights, each of them have a company of a /more wiser than the rest of them/ demon and angel to help with their tasks. Only the King and ten royal knights know that the City is alive and very talkative but they don't understand fully what it's trying to tell them. Most of them choose to ignore the voices in their head because hey, that's what you do usually in this situation, otherwise they drive you nuts.
City is also extremely emotional and appearance depends on its condition. Usually it's a sunny day out and the city looks welcoming, but you don't want to be there when the City is scared: it might eat you alive by accident. Now that the environment is aside, time for the main three characters.
Imri is a young lad who will soon be a royal knight. He actually wanted to be a painter when he grows up but well, you cannot disobey the king's orders. Quite emotionless and a man of a few words, he tries to stay on a neutral ground between good and bad - a perfect candidate for manipulation to all three sides, demons, angels and the City.
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look at him
Royal knights get to know their angel and demon companions at least a week before they get knighted to avoid any misunderstandings. Imri doesn't mind his friends at all, although one of them caused quite a fuss.
Angel /they name themselves Lyra/ is an overly positive, naive and blindly kind entity. A bit childish and very fond of justice, they try to act as a voice of conscience, not understanding that sometimes this can make everything even worse than it was. There is a feeling that they're trickier than it seems but you can never quite tell.
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the latin text all over them is just a part of their design
The demon though... That's not even a demon, that's the Devil himself. Yes, everyone knows who this is, everyone avoids him and he's not supposed to be here at all. Despite being THE Devil, he didn't try to do anything horrific yet and, when he's not joking around, he tries to be the voice of reason, the voice that no one listens to. He seems to know a lot more about this whole world than anyone else but he talks about it only when he wants to.
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no one likes him at all, expect maybe Imri who just tolerates his presence like he always does
That's the main three. There is a few secondary characters, Imri's father being one of them.
sir Jastrab /or just Dell/ is one of the royal knights, he's a bit naive, loyal, and a soul so kind that his demon hung himself. Oh well. He lost one hand in what he calls "a work accident" which is partly true but he never goes into details.
He never wanted for his son to be a part of the knights because he knows by experience that it's not an easy job and not every father wants for their child to go insane from the voices in their head.
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few people said that the angel accompanying him looks like d20 and so be it
The others are Sun and Moon - local deities, despite being on the sky every day and night, usually they don't really care about what's going on down below. You can still talk to them but don't expect much action. Regardless of all this, they are still loved by almost all living things. They can rarely meet each other but humans always depict them together no matter what. Although maybe humans are right...
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creators of the Stars - some part of a human soul that i can't talk about :)
Angels and demons come in all forms and sizes but those are the main population - lesser demons resemble the Devil in some ways and lesser angels look like clovers. Rivals usually but when the revolution happens, they learn to tolerate and work with each other. Humanity doesn't really have a chance.
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they hate everyone equally And there is another being, that Imri meets a few times through the story - it's Death. Death is just having fun in this end of the world and there is a lot of work to be done.
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this is an old and rough design so maybe it'll change The whole story begins at that day when Imri is supposed to be knighted. Everything seemed fine until Imri gets to hear the City for the first time and realizes that he hears and sees a lot more than everyone else. Completely overwhelmed he blacks out - even the toughest of minds often can't take it - and wakes up later only to find out that the King got killed somehow, angels and demons saw this as the starting point for a revolution and the City starts to panic.
Now Imri, guided by his companions and the voice of scared City that's crumbling and slowly drives him insane, shall travel to the center of it to find out what really happened, getting through demons and angels who are busy destroying the rest of humanity. Fun.
There is a lot more to this whole thing but I cannot tell the entire plot because spoilers, in case if i actually will make something out of this story. Think of it as a game lore. I'm not sure about making sth yet because i operate only on hopes and dreams and i barely have any strength lately but who knows... But now you have at least some context! And yeah, thank you if you actually read all of this, you're a hero.
Now i need to get back to drawing. Thank you all for your support. <3
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scourgebrother · 2 years ago
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also so tired of how some of yall just cant stop making up people n situations to be mad about. cant you just chill, this drama is not only unnecessary but worse unfunny
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