#its also making me relive my concert and how amazing it was. i miss them sm!!

[throwbacktears]

someone posted the entire valley show from manila on youtube and i am watching it with just immense pride at how much love the crowd is showing this niche lil indie band from toronto. its so deserved and we showed up right there with them 🥹

[theadventurousdork]

Two Sides of the Same Coin: Chloe Price

If Chloe could go back and meet herself... would she?

Chloe takes a drag from her cigarette before flicking it away. She lays on the rusted roof of an old fishing boat, the breeze carrying away her puff of smoke. The sun is setting over the junkyard. Everything is still, yet her mind is buzzing. Can she really do it? Run away. Away from the torment. Away from the emptiness. Away from Arcadia Bay. Away from it all. And with Rachel freakin' Amber.

Chloe flicks her cigarette as her arm hangs over the side of the roof. Shards of broken glass are crunched under a shifting foot a few yards away, causing the rebel to sit up in caution. She looks around the junkyard, a feeling of unease sits in her gut. The shifting footsteps move behind a run down car.

"Rachel, I swear to God if you're fucking with me..."

Chloe hops off the roof of the boat and onto the splintered deck below, the setting sun shines in her eyes. She squints over the edge and looks down to see a figure looking up at her. She feels familiar.

"Jesus christ. That's what I looked like back then?" The woman says. Her hair radiating a faded green through the sunlight.

"Who the fuck are you?" Chloe demands as the woman climbs onto the boat.

"Look at me, you little nugget," the woman says as she hops onto the deck, the wood creaking beneath her, "I'm you."

Chloe takes a step back. She looks at her future self in confusion, "Alright, that cigarette I bummed from Justin was definitely laced with something."

"Holy shit. Justin." Older Chloe says in an amused tone. She looks over the trees at the setting sun, "I wonder how he's doing nowadays. Either he finally became a skate pro or he's now the creepy dude no one knows who's still riding the same rails at Blackwell."

Young Chloe is at a loss of words. She stares at her older self not being able to comprehend what she's seeing.

"You... I... we... look pretty rad," she finally says after an awkward silence, "I just... don't understand what the fuck is happening."

Older Chloe walks past the teen and hops onto the roof of the boat, her feet dangling over the edge. She looks down and pats the empty space next to her. Young Chloe looks around the empty junkyard looking for any sign of being pranked. After realizing there's no one else around them, she takes a deep breath and climbs to the top of the boat to join her future self.

"It's all very confusing so I won't waste time explaining how I'm here," Older Chloe says as she takes out a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket. She takes out a stick and puts it between her lips before extending the carton out to her younger self, "Trade you a cig for a light."

Young Chloe reaches into her ripped jean pocket and takes out a lighter. She takes a cigarette from the carton and lights both of their smokes. They both take a long drag unison.

"So... let's say I'm not tripping absolute balls right now," young Chloe says, "why are you here?"

"If YOU had the chance to visit younger you, would you?"

"I don't think I would." Young Chloe takes another drag, "It would hurt too much."

"Well... opinions change as you get older, I guess." Older Chloe looks at the junkyard around them, "Man, I miss this place. Brings back so many memories. What year is it anyway?"

Young Chloe hesitates, still not fully absorbing what's happening, "Uh, 2010."

"Fuck. That feels like ages ago."

"What year are you from?"

"Doesn't really matter." Older Chloe brushes off the question, "So what's going on in your life right now?"

"Well, my stupid mom betrayed me by letting the walking mustache move into the house." Young Chloe grumbles as she pushes the butt of her cigarette into the deteriorating metal.

Older Chloe smiles, "David and his damn mustache."

Young Chloe doesn't hear her comment, "And the ever so elusive Max Caulfield hasn't answered a single text or call in months. So she could be dead." She lifts up her legs from the edge of the roof and hugs her knees, "Not that it fucking matters anyway. I mean, I could be dead and she wouldn't even care."

Older Chloe softens her gaze as she looks to her broken, younger self.

"What else is going on?"

"Well, I finally got booted from Blackwell."

Older Chloe lets out a small laugh, "Jesus, took you long enough."

"Right? You should've seen how smug Principal Wells looked with that stick up his ass as he broke the news," Young Chloe furrows her brow, "I mean... I guess you have seen what he looked like then."

"Oh, man. Of course I remember what he looked like. So pleased with himself. He definitely celebrated our departure from Blackwell by shoving two more sticks up his ass."

Young Chloe couldn't help but laugh.

"And uh..." her laughing died down to a nervousness, "I also met Rachel Amber recently."

The burning cigarette hangs loosely between Older Chloe's fingers as she stares over the treeline. Her mind is obviously in a different place.

"Rachel Amber." she finally says after a moment, "How is she?"

The words leave her mouth with a heavy weight.

"She's... awesome." Young Chloe breathes out. Her shoulders loosen as Older Chloe's tense up, "I just... I don't know how to describe it. Ever since we went to that Firewalk concert a few days ago and we started hanging out... I don't know. She's just so fucking cool. She has this..."

"Light around her." Older Chloe says, finishing the younger's sentence, "A light that seems to never dim. No matter what kind of darkness hits."

"Yeah, exactly."

Young Chloe notices the shift in the elder's tone, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Older Chloe blinks away her tears, "Can you... can you tell me more about her?"

Her words feel slightly desperate. Like she's treading water, desperate to relive the feeling she's lost so long ago. The feeling of knowing that Rachel's okay.

"I mean, you've already lived through all of this. You must know more than I do. What do you want to know? Honestly, I should be the one asking YOU questions," Young Chloe sits up straight, eager to ask her future self a barrage of questions, "What's it even like in the future? Have the mole people taken over? Have we discovered life on other planets yet? Is weed legal in every state now? Do I ever make it out of this shithole?"

Older Chloe puts out her cigarette before looking at her wide eyed younger self, "How about you answer my question and I'll answer ONE of yours."

"But..."

"My time is limited here, you ding dong. You really wanna waste it by fighting?" Older Chloe leans back on her hands, "You know I'd win."

Young Chloe huffs at how smug she is, "Okay, fine." She takes a moment to collect her thoughts. "So you wanna hear about Rachel?"

"Yeah. What's she like right now? Where are you at when it comes to her?"

The younger lays down on the roof, her hands clasped behind her head, "She's absolutely amazing. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else like her. There's this indescribable thing about her that makes me want to... be better." Young Chloe closes her eyes, images of Rachel flashing through her mind, "It's like ever since we started hanging out, everything's felt... not as heavy, you know? I mean, don't get me wrong. This place is still a top tier shitter, but she makes it... not as shitty."

Older Chloe doesn't say a word.

"And when I'm with her... I feel nervous. But not the 'Oh shit, I'm gonna throw up' nervous but more like the... 'Oh shit, I wanna stay in this moment forever' kind of nervous," Young Chloe feels a slight tinge of embarrassment as she opens her eyes to see the clouds moving in the sky above, "I must sound so stupid."

"You don't." Older Chloe wipes away a tear that escaped from her grasp. Younger Chloe doesn't notice.

The older's mouth hangs slightly open as she struggles to find the right words to say. After a moment, "Just... hang onto that. Hang onto that feeling. That feeling of wanting to be better. That feeling that there's a light that will never dim. It's important."

"Since when did I get so mushy?" Young Chloe sits up.

"Don't act like you haven't always been," says the Older.

"Okay, my turn."

"One question. That's all you get."

Young Chloe crosses her arms as she thinks carefully about her question. The sun has just touched the top of the treeline. A blanket of golden light lays gently across the junkyard. The familiar sound of glass crunching under a shifting foot gets lost in the sound of the trees rustling with the breeze. Young Chloe, lost in thought, doesn't seem to notice it this time.

"So," Older Chloe interrupts, "I don't got all day. It's now or never, young grasshopper."

After another moment of silence, the younger uncrosses her arms and takes a deep breath. She looks to the setting sun. Two sides of the same coin, sit side by side under its light.

"Will I ever find the happiness I lost?"

Older Chloe furrows her brow, slightly taken aback by the younger's question.

Young Chloe's heartbeat increases slightly, scared of the answer.

The older looks up at the sky before taking a deep breath, "Look, kid. You're going to lose a lot. You're going to lose so much that it feels almost impossible to make it through... but you will. You'll be okay."

Young Chloe, looks down at her feet dangling off the side of the roof. Slightly disappointed with the answer.

The sun has begun to disappear behind the treeline.

"But," Older Chloe starts up again, "about that happiness..."

She looks out to the junkyard. Hidden just out of the younger's sight, an older Max Caulfield sits behind a dilapidated car door. She's waiting patiently, as she looks up at Older Chloe. The two look at one another with a reassuring gaze. Max gently nods her head as she gives Older Chloe a kind smile.

"You'll find it again." Older Chloe finally says without breaking eye contact with Older Max, "Happiness will always be within reach even when you feel like it's gone forever."

A breeze blows through the junkyard just as the sun has finally disappeared behind the trees.

Young Chloe looks up and finds herself alone again.

[tenfluenza]

sorting thru my liked music under the read me cuz im emo tonight ://

i didnt expect los campesinos to be on my list of go-to listens but knee deep at atp is pretty darn good. i am not a wilbur soot kinnie

please delete anything on your playlist related to polyphia. you dont like it and you have never liked it.

the more i listen to chiodos the more i end up enjoying them. the heartless control everything and the best way to ruin your life albums have a some overlap but overall i enjoy the heartless control everything more just because the opening song compromise of 1984 is terribly good. the trailing end sort of turns me off but it kinda reminds me of another song i really love so it turns out i can deal

bone palace ballet is funny because the track names are just so artsy and the piano and violin it in makes me happy. dont really have a favorite song from it though. i think its just an easy listen for me

devil by the chiodos is easily a top 20 (?) it has it all. behvis bullock has that energy im looking for but the lyrics are honestly hit or miss depending on how much of a singing mood im in. 3AM and under your halo are both solid songs for showing people without scaring them off

idfar is a single collab that i cant get over because it just came into my life so randomly that i still get surprised when i notice that its like, a real song and not something i dreamed up. the lyrics are depressing though so i try not to loop it too much

the used is a classic band. i only like certain songs and it all depends on if i want to sing along or not

i liked martyrs among the casualties more than i did mukiltearth. sorry guys. TECHNICALLY theyre different but i actually feel that the older one has this grungy (intentional or not :P) mixing i like. mirrors are more fun than television rly hits different if youre listening to it thru a CD

the fall of troy beloved <3 im really warming up to in the unlikely event. it was the first album from them i ever saw recommended to me but i didnt listen to it entirely cuz i got scared off by how strong panic attack! and straight jacket keelhauled sounded. empty the clip and battleship graveyard are deffo my faves tho lmao

doppelganger :) made me read house of leaves. book and music changed my life

manipulator is a great album but it makes me all teary so i cant listen to it for long or else i actually cry when i get to oh! the casino?!

the tribune ep is something i want remade so bad. i want to see a show just so i can request one playthrough of windmills and so true, ever so true. cant get enough of how the screaming vocals pair so well with the cleans

jlv but only because of the kite remake. if there is any song you listen to this year its kite. its gotta be kite. its got it all. the perfect song. black mass is also great but if i listen to it too much i start hating women.

do not listen to delta sleep.

wisiro by dgd makes me sob but in a good way :) i havent found anyone who feels the same abt the album but honestly it just has that level of emotion that resonates with me so well. cant really single out any of the songs but tidal waves comes on at just the right time where it makes you reevaluate your entire life from start to present. this album is better and cheaper than therapy.

also no one talks about attack of the dashing young and bold and the rain in vietnam. theyre both awesome

im just going to list off dgd albums i liked cuz theyre so popular already someones prob already said how i feel abt them (if your concert tickets are worth more than $50 you are mainstream): mothership, s/t, downtown battle mountain 1&2, happiness

fearofdark is my go to for chilling out and reliving the good times with the homies. makes me cry but in a good way

sewerslvt is amazing. raw and emotional in every song. its really too bad people dont like her more

i kill giants s/t i love them for their lyrics. i liked their sinatra collab too and their style with the spoken word poetry in the songs

saosin and circa survive. awesome, one of the rare cases where album art really ties the mood in with the music. they know how to choose their album artists

deaf havana, not to be confused with deafheaven. has one good album before they got rid of their one good singer in favor of making christian rock. meet me halfway at least is a banger album

deafheaven, not to be confused with deaf havana. roads to judah and sunbather are just -chefs kiss- love their metal. not a big fan of shoegaze sung by men to begin with though.

exactly one nirvana song. it is not smells like teen spirit

ajj gets an honorable mention for getting me Through it but ngl i like their ghost mice collab even though i know i shouldnt. firestarter is also a cute song i sing often

misc bands that i think are pretty cool: defeater, sufferer, sianvar, ttng, taking back sunday, thursday, mccafferty, a day to remember, mass of fermenting dregs, death cab for cutie, tfb, alex g, animal collective, sufta, ty scientist, madeon, a lot like birds, teenage halloween

[abizarreyodelingincident]

Our Nightly Confidant 5

Four steps in my shoes

Four feels strongly.

In general, as a rule, but also in this specific situation, where sweat sticks his hair to his forehead and the pegasus boots chaff from constant overuse. From the slight burn of his arm muscles that nonetheless keep swinging the Four Sword.

Amazingly, the emotion at the forefront of his mind cannot be easily and neatly assigned to one facet of him. Annoyance isn't exclusive to any one side of him, quite the contrary. And the 'you can go die!' disdain is a taaaaad too specific as well.

White paws sweep at him and barely miss the top of his head. Would have hit Ezlo, if this had been his first adventure. The pang of nostalgia doesn't help his focus much.

Small bursts of magic and swings of his boomerang sting enough to keep his enemy on the backfoot. Behind him, a few roots twist enough for an opening beneath the trunk. If he can just...

The paw slams inches away from where he was standing a second earlier.

Urgh. It had to happen after they marched all day in search of civilization, didn't it?

Well, nothing to it, Four adjusts his sword and glares back at the slitted eyes trailed on him.

Which is when the loudest, most thunderous bark he ever heard rips the air in half and hammers in his eardrums. The white monster (cat) yowls in fright, fur straight up in horror, back arched, and it sprints right up a tree.

Wolfie is a familiar sight, and a welcome one at that.

But some instinctive part of him that is more Minish than Hylian can't help grip the Four Sword tighter.  From this perspective, Wolfie has more in common with Wild's divine beasts than a regular animal. His claws look about as tall as Four himself. And at the moment, the wolf is displaying a mouth full of fangs that promise a painful death.

He doesn't blame the cat for scampering. He's seen what those fangs can do to a throat. Or a wrist. Or an ankle. Not, really, he thinks the cat shows great wisdom in getting the hell out of Wolfie's range.  

But, because he is a Hero of Courage, he flips the sword in his hands, sheathes it and waves his arms.

“Twilight!”

The shift is instantaneous, and a little amazing to witness. The ears perk up, the posture straightens from its crouch, the teeth all disappear behind the black lips. It's a flip of Pacci's cane, a turn on a rupee, and there's the big beast their group loves.

“You okay there, Smithy?” Twilight asked, sniffing him for signs of injuries.

It's strange, hearing Twilight's voice coming through the sort of mental-bond-language of the Minish. Useful though. He's not certain he currently possesses the patience for some games of charades with a wolf.

“No injuries.” He puts a hand on the damp nose even as a burst of hot air washes over him. “Just a bit out of breath.”

“Right.”

It's not a doubtful tone, but there's some Time-patented exasperation in there.

“I would have been fine, you know?” says the part of Four that is a bit younger. “I dealt with lots of monsters even at this size.”

(Not Wolfie size though, that he thinks might be beyond him when shrunk.)

The flat look he receives makes him want to squirm.

He's too controlled for that.

“Yes, yes, I know.” He waves off the implied question. “I thought the innkeeper's cat was still inside.”

“He was. But after he mewled a bit, his owner let him out. And when I didn't see you... I had a feeling.”

Four wants to hit his head against a tree. Animals always were more aware of the scent of Minish magic. Many eyed him curiously when he walked through town. He should have known the cat would want to stalk after him. Probably thinking he knew where a village was hidden. He's going to have internal arguments about this all night.

“Cats are all bastards.”

To Four's amazement, Twilight's tail curls between his legs, his ears drooping. He rather looks more the guilty dog part than the majestic beast he insists he is.

“... But they're so cuddly.”

“When you're bigger than them, maybe,” Four deadpans. “Sneaky little shits.”

Twilight's whine is absolutely ridiculous and enough to make him snicker.

“Fine, fine. I'm not deaf, I hear what they say. Not as bad as cuccos, though.” Twilight's gaze wanders off to a faraway place. “Nothing is as bad as those psychotic birds.”

They lose a moment reliving their trauma over the feathered fiends.

Twilight shakes it off first. He lies down, his body like a hill of dark fur before Four, and hints at his back. Any protest Four might have had before dies in the face of his aching legs. He can fight off monsters at this size, but it's unreasonably more complicated. And he is not in the mood to stab spiders in the face tonight.

The fur is silky under his fingers, which is comforting but also a bit of a pain. Climbing means parting the coat of dark hairs and finding grip against skin. Sometimes, the body under him flinches or trembles, like Twilight is fighting off the urge to roll over. Four imagines it's quite similar to tickling. So he hurries up and makes his way up to the top of Twilight's head. Between the ears and roughly around the markings on his forehead.

Satisfied, Twilight stands, and the whole world blurs like he's still using his pegasus boots. A few more steps are needed before Four's body adjusts to the speed, and then he can relax. Twilight's safe.

And, he notes, not heading straight for the inn.

“We noticed the looks, you know,” Twilight says, because he's one of those busybodies that can't help mother cucco everyone around him till they are 'right as rain over a spring'.

“So?” he replies, even, practiced.

(Zelda had questions, at first, then orders that were swiftly obeyed, when in her sight. He hasn't told her that yet.)

“... How many of them do that?”

Do what? He wants to ask. The inn's owner had been quite polite, very careful in avoiding certain words around Four. Indeed so careful that Four could feel their syllables get more and more defined by the innkeeper's silence.

“Whisper?” he settles for. “A few. I'm weird, I know. Shorter than some kids, but can lift a hammer to forge. Own my business outside Castle Town, only shows up for groceries, talks to myself sometimes and stares at empty spots on shelves. I don't know, I suppose they expected me to apprentice beforehand, but there was a kingdom to save and what did that matter then?”

He punches the ground next to him before remembering too late it is Twilight's head.

The growl doesn't last. But the first few words he says are a bit more bitten out than the tone implies.

“There's a kid in my village. Younger than you. Couldn't lose the baby fat in his face for the longest time.” Twilight snorts, and his tail wags a bit. “And he's smart, really smart, a lot more mature than his older brother too.”

Four has a feeling that's partially due to the older brother's personality, but holds his tongue.

“People whispered behind his back. 'That boy is so creepy.'”

“Fey-touched,” Four says before he can hold back the red in him.

That one hurt. He's picked up habits from the Minish, he's aware. Little things like leaving keystones lying around for other kids or tiptoeing minish rings in the grass. But for those differences to matter so much, he hadn't expected until the first time the words had been floating around him.

“Ah,” Twilight says, followed by a whole lot of nothing.

Crickets around them sing. He can almost see some Minish putting a collar on the bugs to bring them home for a concert. Moving from behind stalks of grass, praying to the moon and the goddesses.

Then, Twilight says: “That takes me back.”

Four stumbles through the fur, his hands grasping on some new strands, but he can't tell if his unbalance is due a jolt in their steps or to the enormity of the idea. Twilight, the stereotypical rancher, seen as an outsider?

He tries, but all his brain conjures up is a much shorter version of Twilight dragging goats by the horns. That and dancing (badly) to the melody of a grass whistle.

Even from his spot atop Twilight's head, the eye roll is obvious despite being out of sight. “The only Hylian in a village of Humans?” he drawls. “Found as a toddler lost in the woods? Hardly able to speak for a while?”

Oh, Four thinks, that'd do it.

“They don't have the right to say that to you,” Twilight growls. “You're their hero.”

He could bask in the warmth. Lets himself lie down on Twilight and forget all about the events of tonight.

Curiosity wins, or well, violet does. “What did you do?”

“Nothing special? Just stayed the same and let them talk.”

Four's eyes bug out. “That's it? Nothing? How does that change anything?”

“When you're you, Four... When you're a good person regardless of rumors and whispers... Idiots don't stop talking, but the ones that are worth it stop listening.” A wolfish grin breaks out on Twilight's face. “Besides, you should have seen their black eyes after Rusl heard them say it to my face. After that... well, they could have called me the King of Evil and it wouldn't have mattered. Knowing you got someone in your corner's better than hollow praise from idiots.”

Four blushes.

He forgot for a bit, and he'll apologize to Zelda when he sees her, but it's true. Whenever he recalls that moment, the guard's words aren't ever the same. The phrasing lost all its power, outshone by the impassioned defense and the sheer anger wielded by his friend.

His back straightens. And he allows himself some childish pride in having the Princess of Hyrule in his corner. What do they have to beat that?

Twilight rumbles a laugh. “So... yeah, ignore them. Put them in their place if you want, the goddesses know you have the strength to do it, but that won't change their minds about anything. If you want some peace of mind, discard the idiots.”

Companionable silence falls between them. Four doesn't feel the need to speak after that bit of reassurance. They circle the woods, avoiding Hylians late on the road and monsters alike. Twilight's seemingly content just taking him on a ride, and Four's loath to admit he wants the moment to last a little longer.

They're not too far back from their starting point when he decides to ask: “About that kid?”

“Malo?”

“Yeah, him, how does he deal with it?”

Twilight does not answer right away. He first jumps over some large, gnarled roots and growls at a fox that seemed a bit too curious about the smell of Minish magic. Four's grateful for the time to calm his pounding heart.

“Well, Malo just stares at them until they get uncomfortable. Then he asks them what they're looking for. It never seems to affect him too much.” – discomfort hits at that, and Four can't tell why – “But, well, it also happened in front of me, you know? And I take after my Pa. So I might have knocked a couple of heads together in Casle Town. Followed by a strong talking to. Not that Malo appreciated that I ran off some of his customers.” A sigh. “That kid, I swear.”

Four grimaces. That type of 'customers'. Will think they bless his forge with their presence, praise him to all ends, then turn around and whisper. “I'm sure he's grateful inside.”

“Eh, I hope so, but it's his call in the end. Can't live his life for him.” Some muscles roll, and Four gets the impression of a shrug. “Speaking of, what do you want to do, Smithy?”

The question takes him by surprise, and it's silly that he didn't expect it.

He knows that Twilight would spend the night outside with him if he asks. They're no strangers to outdoor camping and the woods of his era are less dangerous than most. Wolfie would intimidate most if not all the creatures that live inside it.

But it would be illogical to sleep in the woods when they have more than enough rupees to pay for some rooms in a local inn.

Four is reasonable. It's one of his trademarks as a Hero. Mature for his age. Calm. Collected. It's how he's taken seriously as an adventurer. Why would he shatter an illusion that useful? Over some mild ostracization?

'Serve it cold,' says one quarter of him.

Another sides with Twilight. Their big brother made a good point. They couldn't be bothered by every single ungrateful person out there. They'd always exist, so let them stew in jealousy and paranoia and fear. He has the favor of the Princess, his best friend. What does he need anger for against a countryside shop owner?

But, the blue in him counters with an hammer-like argument: 'No, the best revenge is both.'

The others would be a little mad, he thinks. A little.

He's usually mature enough not to get in trouble. He's due for some insanity and explosions. Wild would back him up here. And it might be his voice in his head that pushes the words out of his mouth.

“So, not that I haven't listened to a word you said, but, hypothetically, if I needed help knocking heads together...”

“How many heads? Wars mentioned an interesting technique he learned from his sparring with some Sheikah general the other night. Though, if you'd rather, I can say, without boasting, that a lot of grown men weep at this form. It's embarrassing for everyone, I tell you.”

Four snorts, struck by mischief. “We're going to need to find a stump. I might have a plan.”

Yes, Four contemplates, the glint of wolf fangs under the moonlight is just as terrifying as he figured it would be. He can't wait.

                                                        ***

Legend is silently debating with Sky over the right to punch the innkeeper in the face. It's a fierce debate communicated entirely through raised eyebrows, scrunched up nose, muted snarls and meaningful looks.

The others' patience is steadily fraying at the edges. It's especially noticeable with their youngest. There are fireworks going off on Wind's face. The knife cutting his slab of meat to pieces steadily stabs into it every time the innkeeper's mouth opens.

“And where are you fine young men traveling to?” he says with a customer pleaser smile.

'Fine young men'. Ah! There's a thing he didn't say about Four. The fucking nerves of this man.

“Far,” Time replies, his tone even, but his expression thoroughly unimpressed.

“Ah, yes, of course...” the innkeeper says agreeably. “You, huh, you'll be going with the, ahem, with the boy, I imagine?”

How dare he sound hopeful? And 'boy'?! This man's livelihood is owed to the smithy! And he doesn't even have the excuse of mind control!

A hint of shame tickles the back of his mind, when he had first heard the innkeeper talking. He had sounded nothing like the ones from his era, who sometimes refused him entry outright on the basis of old and false accusations.

This current attitude was, technically speaking, a strict improvement over that.

But does the man have to come alive and become so at ease serving them food whilst the Hero of this land take a walk outside? Alone, at night?

Legend grunts into his mug. The rancher left after the smithy, so that ought to solve the 'feelings' question. A bit of a stick-in-the-mud he might be, but Twilight's one of the few he would trust to help navigate difficult feelings. He's got the patience for it, unlike a lot of them who tackle everything the way they do a dungeon, with reckless abandon.

Yet, in the cozy warmth of the fire in the hearth, over the hesitant plucking of the minstrel's chords, a howl suddenly calls to the moon.

They, alone, do not tense.

The howl echoes a second time, much louder. Closer.

The innkeeper shoots them a desperate look, but Legend suddenly realizes that he is blind, and possibly deaf. He has no reason to stand up, much less draw his sword. And, would Farore look at that, his condition is contagious!

The hinges creak as they inch open.

If Legend were not so experienced, he might have been nervous. But he's better than that. He leans back in his seat, places a hand on Hyrule's shoulder, and sips his ale.

There in the doorway, cut in shadows with the moon as backdrop, riding on a large grey wolf, Four raises both arms high in the air.

“Fear my unnatural power,” he says with as ominous a voice he can produce.

Warriors snorts, cheeks reddened by alcohol, and he gives a thumbs-up to their smith, despite the owner's pale complexion.

The mugs left on the table begin to shake. Oh, this is gonna be good.

It starts with a pair of squirrels and a owl, neither obeying their instincts in favor of swooping inside the inn. Followed by a handful of moles, fireflies and stray dogs.

In a flash of white, the inn's cat bolts inside the inn, meowing, till it reaches its owner's legs and climbs onto him. It perches itself on his bald head, seconds before the first deer bounces inside the building.

Epona breaks the first table.

But the three raccoons lunging after his cat are what make the owner scream.

Legend guffaws in his ale.

[breannapena]

8/29/2022

Its officially here. Today marks 3 years since you left this world. Not even sure where I start. I miss you for one. Not like normal miss but miss everything even the bs you put me through. I miss sharing the girls with you and I miss you seeing the world through their eyes. Aubrey’s in kindergarten and boy is she doing great. I know you would be so proud. Bella is doing amazing in high school. She is funny like you and smart like me. She is also the best. She tries to help me the most since you have been gone. She remembers how we were always a team and she has done so well with helping around the house and taking care of her sisters. Gabby is you. She is my protector and always trying to make sure I don’t get hurt. The pain they get from missing you is constant. I wish they didn’t have to hurt. They love you so much Tony. We all love you so much. We surround ourselves with ways to remember and honor your legacy. We share home videos and lots of pictures in the house to never forget you. Not that I think we need to do that. Truth is we will never forget you. Tony I still cry everyday and I can remember everything about you from your voice to your smell. I miss your laugh and I miss your hugs. You forever have been imprinted in my soul and life without you isn’t easy. I wish younger me would have known what we had when we had it. I wish I soaked in more days of us waking up and cooking together and more rainy days in bed together. I wish I had read more while you played the guitar and I lived in those moments more. I wish to relive all of it again. We were so focused on getting our careers in order and raising the kids I think we forgot sometimes to take those extra days off and do more vacations. We always thought we had time. We promised we would do so many things with the girls like travel and yearly Disneyland trips. I want you to know we do that now for you. We take more time to sit on the beach and we always take spontaneous trips to the zoo, a museum or some concert. Some of the best memories the girls have are of our trips and I make sure they keep making those memories of family trips. I will do everything in life we always said we would do so when we finally meet again I can tell you all about it. I want you to know I love you and I always will. I know we were not perfect but I love you. I love how we grew up together and I love how you made me feel safe. I love how no matter what happened between us I know I was always your top priority. I love how you laughed and smiled and I love how you were an amazing dad. If I had to do it all over again knowing how much I hurt everyday for you I would. I would choose you a million times over even with all the pain now. The only thing I wish was different is is wish you saw the man I saw. I wish you knew how loved you are. I miss you and love you very much Tony. Thank you for so many great memories and for leaving me your world. I promise I’m taking care of them. You always ended our letters with see you soon and miss you. So see you soon my love. I miss you ❤️

[broadwaybabe18]

In The Heights is TEN YEARS OLD!

So Lin Manuel Miranda’s first (better) musical turns ten today and I just need to take a moment to appreciate the majesty that is this creation. Even though I’m not Latina and don’t have the same background as the characters in the show, something about this story pulled me in and refuses to let me go. Specifically, the character Nina jumped out with flashing lights and screamed “listen to me!!! I’m you!!” Over and over again no matter how many times I listen to the music. I connected to this show for whatever reason and it is now my favorite musical so I wanna take a second to talk about, in no particular order, my favorite songs from the musical and why I really love them. Here we go.

Benny’s Dispatch

No one really talks about this song and it makes me very sad because it’s just special

I love how upbeat and it is at the beginning but how sweet it is at the end and the tiny little arc you have in this two minute horn piece.

Honestly it’s such a good establishing song for what’s going to come it gets how shy/anxious Nina is about coming home and how fun-loving/bubbly Benny is and how excited he is to see her.

10/10 great song

Everything I Know

I didn’t listen to this one until I had been listening to the soundtrack for about two months because instead of listening to every song I just picked out Benny and Nina’s songs and didn’t realize this was Mandy Gonzales. I don’t know why I didn’t see if it was, but I didn’t and as soon as I heard it I was mad that I didn’t sooner.

I think this represents missing/remembering someone so well and it’s so emotional while being so clear and focused.

This is the Nina song that I can sing the best so it’s really high in my list for that alone.

It’s perfectly poignant in its message and a great motivator.

Blackout

Okay I avoided this song a lot because it was such a big number and I thought I wouldn’t like it because it would be so crazy and I just really like the love songs buT OH MY GOD I WAS SO WRONG THIS IS AMAZING

The little melodies in this song are amazing. I love the one-liners that stand out in this mess of character craziness especially Sonny’s lines.

“it’s lATE AND THIS GRATE WONT COME DOWN, COME DOWN we are POWERLESS we are POWerlessss”

All the couple coming together/moving apart and the character pieces in here uggghhhh

I have fantasized getting a group of choir kids at my school to sing this song because it’s just so perfect and fun.

And honestly the ending with the firework is beautiful.

Breathe

This is actually the first song I ever heard on this soundtrack and the story is wild: I was watching a YouTube video and the ad that played before it was the girl who plays Jasemine in Aladdin broadway was singing Breathe at some concert and I only watched the whole thing because I saw Aladdin. I loved the song so much that I sought out that video again to hear it more and then I looked up the lyrics and remembered that I’d heard of In the Heights and then got introduced to the rest of the album.

From the second I heard this song I knew that it was me and I was it and I would never forget it.

Nina is so earnest in this and I could not have expressed my worries about the future better than this four minute ballad.

The beginning Spanish is so catchy and I love the simple little line from the men so much that I always sing it before I jump into singing Nina.

It inspired me to draw for real like I had an idea of seeing the line “Just me and the GWB saying gee Nina what’ll you be” on a sketched GWB so I did it and it turned out really good and I’m very proud.

“They’re not worried about me, they are all counting on me to succeed” described my family that I left in Pennsylvania so much because they just hear about the good things I do in school and they have such high hopes and I just tell them everything’s good even when I’m struggling because I want to make them proud and this song is just perfect.

Just Breathe.

Inútil

I only listened to this song because I saw the lyrics of the end of the song “I will not be the reason...” on a tumblr edit and it made me really curious so I looked it up. I honestly had no idea that Nina’s father has a song before that moment. It made me realize I need to listen to the whole album(which I have now)

The second verse sounds so familiar to what the relationship is between my father and I from when I young till now and it made me appreciate my father more and further emphasized that I am Nina

I plan to play the second verse till the end during my father daughter dance at my wedding (in like ten years but none the less I am planning)

When You’re Home

Okay the beginning is adorable and funny but honest and the whole “top of the world” thing is perfect

I absolutely love to reminisce when I visit my home town and this song just sums up all of the emotions you feel when you relive old memories

The part that really gets me is Nina’s big moment about how her life would be different if she was still in Puerto Rico. Any kid who has moved away from their home knows that feeling of wondering who you would be if you stayed. And I will always wonder. And did I make my Home proud? Was it worth it? And I think that Nina’s moment there is one of truth. And when you forget your home or you do something that your home family wouldn’t recognize you doing, you feel ashamed.

But the Benny swoops in and is super sweet and supportive. And it’s just such a happy build in their budding relationship.

Finale

Okay the one part that I just keep singing from this song over and over again is the the beautiful line “the hydrants are open, cool breezes fllo-o-o-o-ooooow” because it’s just a gorgeous line and great melody/harmony

This song made me cry about my legacy that I will leave behind more than Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story for reasons that I can’t explain.

I love how the ending isn’t tied up in s perfect bow of everyone right where they need to be couple wise or everyone doing exactly what you wanted. There’s still a lot that these characters are gonna have to go through. And that life. So just the ending of “I’m going to” is so more realistic. It’s a perfect ending to a perfect musical.

96,000

Talk about a bop. This is a great song that is just a magnifying gas on the characters. It’s like a classic “I Want” song but for the entire cast and you see this key moment for who these people are and how they live.

It’s so much fun and fast paced and you just wanna dance and sing along and it’s gorgeous

The end where they get all quiet and then all loud and the very last STOP is just great harmony between choreography and staging and music and jUST PERFECT!

Benny has the best charisma ever and it might come from Chris Jackson but it’s perfect and I love how genuine he is in his parts.

Okay Sonny in this song is *ehem* SO CUTE because he just has this fit of passion and he’s adorable.

I will always get excited when I hear this song, no matter what.

One time, this came on broadway Sirius XM and my grandparents were driving and they turned it off and it ruined my day honestly. So that shows you how much I love it.

Alabanza

Oh this beautiful piece of sadness

This is such a simple piece but it is so heartfelt

Honestly, an amazing representation of saying goodbye and the unity in it with everyone coming together on the one word it’s perfect

Alabanza is a melody that I somehow always have in my head and I’m okay with that

Nina in this song man

When Usnavi gets choked up on “she was just here” is so sweet and genuine

Every single person in the world can relate to this song but that doesn’t make your connection to it any less special.

It’s just a good cry song but also really motivating to find that group of people in your life

So that’s not every song that I like/listen to but just the ones that I have mind enough to write on. Anyways, if you haven’t heard the soundtrack, go do it. I promise you that you will like at least one of the songs. If you have, feel free to add your own thoughts/favorites. Happy Ten In the Heights!! Many you have many many many more. Adios.

Here are some song suggestions if you aren’t convinced by up there:

[reality-retold]

; top 15 favorite beast/highlight songs

so, i’ve wanted to do this ever since i watched K!Junkies video of their top 15 favorite Beast/Highlight songs. tbh this is something that i sometimes do, picking my top 10-15 fave songs from each group i like and then compiling them to make a playlist. more often than not, though, i end up getting somewhat frustrated because i can’t make up my mind on which songs i have to include on the list l o l. but it’s good fun, and the list tends to change from time to time, depending on my mood, so yeah.

it really took me awhile to finish this list because, again, it is never an easy feat to have to choose only 15 songs. i mean, come on, beast/highlight have been amazingly consistent with their music and they have LOTS of awesome songs. so i decided to base my choices on my own personal attachment to the songs - whether they hold sentimental meanings to me, and so on. that said, it doesn’t mean that the songs not included here do not have any effect whatsoever on me, no. 

anyways. here goes my list, and it’s in no particular order, i guess?

1. ��먹을 꽉 쥐고 (Clenching A Tight Fist)

As far as i can remember, this was the first Beast song that i listened to. I can’t recall how i ended up listening to this song, though - it was around the time when i wasn’t into them yet and barely knew them, but i remember feeling impressed by their vocals. So yeah, naturally this song owns a special place in my heart for being my first Beast song ever. It’s just my kind of song, because boy am i a sucker for Beast ballad. Once, Doojoon also talked about how special this song was for him and, as shallow and silly as this sounds, it just made me grow fonder of this song :’)

2. 숨 (Breath)

This song is one of my favorite title tracks ever, hands down. Idk, it’s just.... epic? I love everything about it. The fast-paced, sort-of rock-ish, gritty instrumental, Dongwoon’s adlib at the beginning (that he gained after his Dad bribed the producer l m a o), Yangyo’s impressive long notes, the dance, the styling they’re sporting for this era, just.... everything, really. And this may not be a popular opinion, but I personally think that this era marked the beginning of their more... sophisticated sound and style? 

3. Fiction

Ask any B2uty/Light and they’d most likely tell you Fiction was the era (or one of the most significant, at least) for Beast/Highlight. And i just can’t agree more even though I actually joined the fandom just right when the promotion era for the song was ending. I know, what a bad timing, eh? I guess, what i’m trying to say is, I didn’t include Fiction on this list because it was such a massive hit back in the days, but because it’s the song that sealed the deal for me? Really, there’s no turning back for me after listening to their Fiction and Fact album. 

4. You

If I have to describe this song in one word, it’d be Dongwoon. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It is a beautiful song in its own right and all the other members sound so good (Doojoon’s part is still one of my ultimate favorite ever), but for me personally, Dongwoon owns this song. I was snatched from the moment he opens the song with his I’m gonna make you love me line. Yeah, I do love you, all right, so mission accomplished, magnae. l o l.

5. 비가 오는 날엔 (On Rainy Days)

On Rainy Days is one of the songs that I always seek for first whenever they hold a concert or perform in an event. I’m not sure why I love it so. Maybe because imo this song is just such a perfect representation of them? They’ve always been known as a vocally strong group that are especially good with ballad, and this song showcases it all? I’m pretty sure I’ve listened to and watched performances of this song for hundreds or even thousands times already, and yet I just can’t get tired of it, ever.

6. Midnight (별 헤는 밤)

Midnight is probably one of their finest songs to date. And it’s special to me because it’s the pre-release for It’s A Beautiful Night comeback, which was their first comeback after I became a fan. Every time I listen to it, it’s like I can relive the excitement I felt back then, and the feeling is just wonderful. I love the original version, but I also like the acoustic version that they did in some of their concerts.

And Doojoon’s part during the bridge is pure perfection. It still gets me every time, even after years. Ultimate favorite of all his parts in any songs, hands down ;-;

7. 니가 보고 싶어지면 (When I Miss You)

I fell in love with this song from the get go, and I think it’s easy to see why. It’s one of their slower songs and it’s beautiful in a bittersweet kind of way. And it’s also one of the songs that show just how much Dongwoon has improved over the years, as he shares the chorus with Yangyo ;-; He also harmonizes for Yangyo’s parts during the live perf of this song. And then there’s Doojoon part ;-; Anyone should know by now that I have such strong affinity for his voice l o l.

8. Good Luck

While I can’t say I loved everything about this song’s era (I wasn’t digging Dongwoon’s purple hair and Doojoon’s brown hair), but the song itself is so awesome I could overlook everything else. It’s so fierce and packed with energy and just... amazing. And i think the song also served as a reminder that yes, they are actually capable of doing some intense choreo - it’s just that most of the time they choose not to do so l o l

9. 12시 30분

If I had to choose the ultimate favorite of all my favorite songs, this is it. I’m not sure why I feel so emotionally attached to this song. Maybe it’s got to do with the fact that they released this song (and the mini album) as a commemoration of their debut 5th anniversary. Maybe it’s got to do with the fact that this is like everything i ever want of them. The concept is on point, the styling is on point. And the song and the dance are both challenging and yet they manage to make so effortlessly easy, belting out those notes while dancing gracefully. Idk, i just love it bunches ;-;

10. 가까이 (Stay)

As per Can You Feel It concerts, this song screams Doojoon through and through. Seriously, it’s legit the most he has ever sung in one single song! So of course I would have to put this song on the list here. But, to be fair, I’ve loved this song since I heard it the first time back then, though admittedly, yeah, it’s mostly because I thought Doojoon (and Dongwoon) sounds amazing. I can’t help ruing the fact that they never got to perform this song with Hyunseung, but it is what it is.

11. Stay Forever Young

Their one and only Japanese track to make it to the list. While I love their other Japanese songs, I have to say this is my ultimate favorite. I just love the vibe and the feel of it? And how it’s about life and being young, and it’s just like a reminiscent of the kind of song my favorite jpop group would sing, so yeah. 

12. 리본 (Ribbon)

I know not everyone is a fan of this song. Some found it too boring, even. But not me. Granted, it’s not the song that I’d always put on my playlist like every single time. But whenever I do listen to it, it overwhelms me with feels. I suppose it’s because it’s their first title track as 5-member Beast, and also their last as, well, Beast. So in a way, it represents both a new beginning and an end for them.

13. 아름답다 (It’s Still Beautiful)

God, if i ain’t choked with emotion the first time i listened to this song ;A; But could anyone blame me? This song was like solid proof of how these boys survived against all the odds, of how they’re still pretty much in it together, bringing music to their fans once more. I will never not feel things whenever I listen to this song ;-; And don’t even get me started on how beautiful it is, simple as it is. It shows that they don’t need much else because their vocals just shine.

14. 얼굴 찌푸리지 말아요 (Plz Don’t Be Sad)

I don’t think there could be a better, more fitting song for their comeback/re-branding as Highlight than this song. It just hit all the right notes. It’s fun, it appealed to the public, it showed their versatility in music while at the same time conveying their message for their fans: don’t be sad, be happy because we’re back to bless you with more music :’)

15. Sleep Tight

If anyone ever questions why Yangyo is their main vocal (though, seriously, why would anyone?), well, this song will tell you exactly why. He simply slays the song, all right, with his raspy voice that is so fitting for such a rock-ish kind of song. And it also proves, yet again, how their music is so versatile, that they can tackle almost everything: heartbreaking ballad, uptempo fun, rock, you name it,

Honorable mentions: Shadow (그림자), 그곳에서 (At That Place), Easy, I’m Sorry (2013 version), Butterfly.

[redlemonz]

Day #19

My liver feels quite betrayed this morning. Just lying in bed, dehydrated as hell in mind and body, and I can anxiously hear my heart beating the way it is with the after effects of the alcohol in my system. Although, that effect thankfully only lasts so long once I gulp down some glorious and thirst quenching icy cold water. The physical medicine to all my real troubles. Probably also helps that I healed rather quickly and am not hungover due to the fact that I ate a huge burger and 20 nuggets at 3am - I'm such a genius. Actually no, I'm not. The exact opposite in that regard because of how I got to that destination, but I'm not going to be able to disclose that now without further self hatred incurring so I'll leave it as it is. Nevertheless, though my memory is lacking in its details, it was a nice night hanging with my ex-work mate. Her dog was also very adorable - the poor thing is blind in one eye and quite deaf though, and is sadly nearing the end of her time supposedly. Even though she was rather smelly (even after a bath - wet dog smell, I believe it's called?) and riddled my sweater with fur, she was a joyous and welcoming new friend to me. I also got the chance of reliving my days as my high school's table tennis captain (we didn't have the most formidable team) which was exciting, as I demolished my friend in a game when we decided to start scoring (though she put up a good fight). My friend was telling me about the past weekend in which she happened to go to the same snowy mountain as her too, and stayed there around the exact same time. So obviously my mind was then fixated on her yet again, and questioned whether my friend was lucky enough to be in her presence as I wish I could've been, especially in the snow. Thankfully I didn't end up making too much of a drunken mess of myself and end up calling her. Though I did send a couple generic snaps, and I may have texted her a heart emoji at 2am.. fuck. So close. I acknowledged it today in another message, but haven't heard anything back at all - not that I need to. I'll just leave it there as it is. Here's just hoping I didn't awaken her from her beauty sleep in the middle of the night is all (though she doesn't need it). Overall it was still a good learning experience - Im pretty content now with not drinking again for a while, unless I'm comfortably with her somehow. Day 19 - personal security Spending my morning with all the nieces, as my sister and brother in law are busy cleaning their house and running errands during the day. The kids are running wild and causing havoc and destruction to everything in their path, as kids should I suppose. Someone's gotta do something though before things get too out of control and the house burns down - this feels like a job for.. The Godfather. Okay so I just wanted to hype up the scenario so that I could say that. It's actually a pretty chill time as the eldest one is watching some teen YouTube vlogger and I'm just playing catch with the 1 year old and my favourite one (whom is the only one I'm ironically not the Godfather for). Just kidding though of course - they're all my favourites. Because they all bring so much love and joy to my heart with their sweet innocence and adorability. But also because they all watch Pokemon with me. Anyhow, I picked up my guitar and started playing all that I could with my limited skill - and my nieces gathered around and loved it, and would dance along to it or simply listen in content. Except for the elder one - she's 7, so she's sensible and knows I'm probably shit at guitar. I'm actually procrastinating going to the gym and getting some exercise in too, even though I really should given the fact I actually do have decent energy right now. Fuck that unnecessary anxiety right now though, I'll just go tomorrow. I mean I'm still suffering from a busted finger from indoor (who knows how the hell it happened) so that's a valid excuse. But also primarily because I have to work security (and by that I mean we usually just stand around in a friendly red and yellow uniform for hours on end) tonight at some World Darts Championship that's supposedly a big deal. Should be entertaining I suppose, except that I'll be surrounded by old, drunk English men in the West part of town ( I've only agreed to the job tonight so that I have something to pass the time with, instead of wallowing in my thoughts and striking myself mentally further about how three weeks ago right now I'd be down there, by her side, feeling whole. Great, I miss her again - how flabbergastingly unusual. I don't think that's going to change much either when I transform into a security bitch tonight however - considering she use to be one of my colleagues too. I initially got her and a couple other friends the role, so we could all attend some free concerts essentially, and get paid for the minimal effort of work required. Also because I thought it'd be another avenue in which I'd just get to spend more time with her in general too. Except she'd be allocated the blue shirt role, which was sort of more like ushering and promoting the 'awesome events'. It made sense though - she's pretty good at putting people in their place after all, and at guiding them to where they need to be in life (yup, even ushering has philosophical undertones now). We would always try and meet up for our breaks, grab a delicious bratwurst or something - though she would've maybe resorted to a pie and donuts instead, and enjoy whatever performance was on. So you'd have me, in my red and yellow shirt (sort of like a red lemon, you could even say), and her rocking her favourite colour, but without the lime green tinge (which was a missed fashion opportunity on the Company's part - though what the hell do I know about fashion), and together we'd make one badass security couple who saved lives. Or maybe just strolled around aimlessly and showed people their seats. Wondering what she's up to this weekend as I eat some noodles and yam (thrilling meal, I know). Last she told me she'd be doing some domesticated duties such as helping around the house with cleaning and some gardening. Hopefully she's actually managing to keep an empty sink that's not up to its neck with dishes. Shouldn't be a problem considering that her parents should still be down there I think, cracking that whip. I'm actually so glad that they have been there too - ideally that's reduced any sense of loneliness she would otherwise feel when being alone in that house. That's why I suppose that I haven't felt as much worry as I did at the beginning, even though I constantly still continue to. Seems as though she's doing well and moving on with her life best as she can. It helps that she's a proactive and focused person who can potentially shove any negative thoughts aside and move forward a lot easier than others, especially me. That's just because she's always been a stronger and tougher human being. She did also mention that some twin lambs were born at the farm house at which she resides, but that unfortunately one was unable to walk, and ultimately did not make it through that evening. It was heartbreaking to hear the way in which that mother lost one of her babies, and that the other baby lost its twin sibling. In that moment I just wished I could be there and give her a comfort cuddle. There's more newborns to arrive in the coming weeks apparently too, so here's hoping things go swell in that regard. Nevertheless, I'm happy and I feel pretty lucky that she's kept me in the loop with her life and all the happenings, even though I've been demoted considerably and don't actually know where I fully stand, except on the other end of the bridge from her. She wasn't wrong at all though (classic) - it is nice that we're mutually navigating this weird after relationship zone and putting in sufficient enough effort to remain in each other's lives. Of course I'd say that though - I freaking love her after all. Star power! Myself and my mate, the leader of the pack were coincidentally working together side by side tonight, as we got designated the same team & duties. Supposedly we did an amazing job considering we were informed that our team leader sung our praises back to management as we were signing out at the end of our shifts. I actually had a reasonably great time as a result - and very enjoyable so, as none of it really felt like much work. I also ended up with a new free umbrella, which was left unclaimed. My first one since she broke mine a while ago - guess I can finally move on now, like Misty did from Ash when she finally received her bike after 5 fucking seasons. Despite everything, I still missed her presence tonight as my secutie (see what I did there). The sad part was just at the beginning as I was signing in, as the big boss was asking me where my girlfriend was. I just said that she moved down, out of our town - way too much effort and time to explain otherwise, when he's busy and doesn't actually give a shit. Just another crappy reminder of my reality though, and further makes me realise that a lot of friends (even close ones) who are presently unaware of these circumstances also. But again - I don't think they give a shit either. It's not like I've really had any of them even bother speaking to me anyway so yeah. That's probably why I'm enjoying and valuing time on my own significantly more than I believed I would initially. I don't require any fake or convenient friends, who likely probably judge me or don't want to make the effort to be present. Not that I can speak - I'm probably a hypocrite when it comes down to that too - primarily as I'm simply just not a very nice person. On the other hand, there's also been some really wonderful people in my life that I do in fact value so much more because they've reached out to me. Essentially everyone I've mentioned previously is included (local homie, mastermind, two thirds of the pack, the work-wife, my family, etc) under that, in addition to others. It's not an award ceremony so I'm not exactly going through the effort to name everyone. There's also Blondie, who was part of our New Years crew - she's always been lovely to me and is the tough yet kind, and caring yet non-sympathetic friend who slams down reality on you (in a good way - tough love). I'd definitely break more bones for her if it were ever required. So she's trying to sort out some dinner plans and catch up and everything which is rather nice. There's also my other indoor team mate who had described her similar relationship story which was almost reflective of mine - the dentist, who's been supportive and has always made the effort for me, and others whenever she's capable to. I have an incredible level of respect and admiration for her, as she's quite inspiring herself. A great dancer too - she taught me a few steps which was much more enjoyable than I imagined, once I started understanding how to move my feet. So she's taken the time to message me details about a potluck dinner which is tomorrow night - which I haven't decided upon whether I am attending yet, due to the crazy level of sociable activity this weekend has already involved. However, she has actively messaged me regarding the event, including the rescheduled date that turned into tomorrow, and has otherwise also been involved in generally just being the kind of friend I've needed. When people personally make the effort to invite you along to their events for which their social media usually simplifies the task on a broader, networked audience - it's just something a little more special. More so because they don't judge or question why you're taking a break away from the social media platforms - they simply just accept you and move on with life as your friend regardless. I mean as I've said before - I have enough self pity in my own endless hole of despair already, so I don't require any further of it from anyone else. These true friends are the ones that have shined a light as a result, and it's just a surprising comparison I suppose, because the ones I'm closest to usually (with exception to mastermind) have kept their distance. Even so, I'm grateful for all these people I constantly probably take for granted otherwise, for being the human beings that I could only aspire to be more like. Especially her - through everything we've been through, she's still been sticking by my side and has been making the effort of putting up with me and my 2am text messages. I ended my Saturday night with some late night snap message exchanges with her, right up until 1am. Though she did disclose to me that I did in fact unfortunately wake her up with my stupid heart emoji late last night, as aforementioned, so I'm not proud in regards to that. I apologised. She was much too sweet as usual, and constantly displays such care and concern for me that is simply heart warming, and brings a loving smile to my face. I really couldn't ask for a better conclusion as a result really - well, except for maybe if I had her head against my chest right now, and her arm wrapped around me. It's freezing after all.

[sblikesmusic]

AJR Concert Experience 8/2/17

On August 2nd, 2017 I drove 2 hours to see AJR live in concert and it was everything I could have wanted and more. These boys are truly so amazing and such great artists and performers I love them so much! If you ever get the chance to see these boys in concert then you definitely should and I’ll tell you why.

I was so excited for the concert that I could hardly speak. My friends didn’t really know anything about AJR, they just came to keep me company so I didn’t have to go by myself so I had to educate them before the concert. I mean Emily knew some songs but she wasn’t a hardcore fan like me and Isaiah literally only knew part of the chorus from ‘Weak’ and that was totally okay. Emily looked them up and on Wikipedia and gathered general knowledge about them and found out their ages and she decided that Adam was her soulmate. While waiting in line I saw Adam, Jack, and Ryan’s dad walk out of the tour bus and causally said to Emily and Isaiah that that was their dad. I don’t know how you mention that you know almost everything about someone’s life without sounding creepy but it was fine. 

After a while I saw the opener, Johnny Balik, walk out of the venue and he was handing out stickers to people waiting in line. I knew of his music and listened to it in preparation of the concert so I was excited to see him. Once he got to me and my friends I told him that I was excited to hear him and he said, “You know my music?!” He was very shocked that I knew him and his work and it was really cute. After he said that he was all excited and asked if I wanted to take a picture and of course I said, “YES!” so we got a picture and he was very sweet. 

So we finally get into the venue and we’re standing on Ryan’s side and I was so excited to see the boys. We listened to the playlist they created for the tour for before and in between acts and it was cool, they played some Kanye and disney songs, of course that just screamed AJR. Some one also passed out paper hearts that said, “When we're done turning out, you'll still be in our heart” and we were suppose to hold those up during ‘Turning Out’ and that was gonna be cute.

Finally Johnny Balik started performing and he was really good. I knew all of his songs, besides the unreleased ones of course, and it was a really fun time. Johnny is much more pop-y compared to AJR but I enjoyed it. There were multiple times where I was singing along with Johnny and he would come to our side of the stage and would see me singing and would point to me and smile on stage. That was super cool because it felt like we were friends and he noticed that I was a huge fan enjoying his music, which I was. I suggest you guys listen to his music because he’s a great musician and a awesome performer and his music is really fun and catchy.

After Johnny’s set we waited about 30 minutes for AJR. Once the lights turned off and the intro monologue started I screamed so loud and I didn’t even care. Jack came out with an iPad with a metronome on it and did a little overture for the concert so that was super exciting and original. Finally Adam and Ryan came out and everyone was so excited and they played ‘I’m Not Famous’ with a mashup of ‘Thirsty’ which was really cool.

There was so much energy in the room it was incredible. After this they played ‘Three-Thirty’ and ‘Call My Dad’ and Ryan sounded amazing during ‘Call My Dad’. When Ryan was singing he did his dramatic “This night got f*cking weird” bit and it was awesome. Everyone cheered for Ryan and it made me so happy.

Then Ryan gave a speech about bullshit and someone in the crowd shouted “Preach!” and Jack went on a little tangent about how they never imagined they’d be a band that people would shout “Preach” to. It was very cute and I wish I had it on video but I’m pretty sure it’s out there somewhere in the world. Next they played the song I think I was most excited for, Woody Allen, because I had heard the new tour version of the song from other videos but I wanted to hear it for myself and it was everything and more. In the beginning Ryan sang the wrong lyrics and Jack gave him such a weird look it was so funny and so cute. Also Ryan and Jack did the “Tell them how you feel Jack” and it was the greatest thing ever I love them so much lol.

After being blessed with ‘Woody Allen’ Jack said, “Okay Berkeley, let’s get a little weird.” They did a drum break down and a clapping sequence that led into ‘Come Hang Out’ and it was incredible. I sang that song so loud that my throat hurt and I thought I was going to lose my voice. Then ‘Pitchfork Kids’ started playing and I was so excited. I was also really excited for this song because I wanted to hear Ryan scream “2, 3, 4″ right before the chorus because that’s one of my favorite things. Whenever I hear that song I had to yell “2, 3, 4″ like Ryan does during concerts because I think it’s great. 

Then they sang a little piece from ‘Netflix Trip’ which was super cool and they did ‘Drama’ and oh my gosh that one was so much fun. When the chorus hit everyone was so hyped and having so much fun it was awesome. After that they gave their speech about how ‘Sober Up’ came about and how Rivers Cuomo was featured in it. And I’m sad that I didn’t get it on video or anything but during ‘Sober Up’ Jack broke one of the strings on his guitar and Ryan commented on it asking if he did in fact break a string so that was funny. Those two are so funny and so witty together it’s great lol.

Then they played one of my favorites “Let The Games Begin’ and I was so hyped for this one. I missed Ryan’s verse because my phone was recording with a filter and it looked bad so I had to stop and fix it but I got most of the song so its fine. Jack telling the whole venue to ‘f*cking jump’ is what I lived for. Ugh he is so cute and amazing lol. This song was one of my favorites live and I’m so glad I recorded it because you can just feel the energy and the excitement from the crowd.

After all that excitement and jumping around the boys decided that they wanted to get emotional and sad by playing ‘Turning Out’. Adam introduced the song by saying it was one of his favorites from the ‘What Everyone’s Thinking EP’ and once he said that I knew that we were all about to cry. Ryan started playing the piano and everyone held up the paper hearts and Jack commented on how something like that happens during every concert and they all liked it a lot. I was also super excited to hear this song because it’s one of my favorites and I knew that I was going to cry because it’s super emotional and I connect with it so well so I knew I had to record the whole thing to relive over and over and cry again and again.

After we all cried a little bit they showed us how they make their remixes. They started with making the beats and then they remixed Kanye West which so really frigging good. Then they sampled some sounds that represent New York which they called an annoying remix but honestly I liked it and thought it was kinda good lol. Then they made a remix tailored to Berkeley, California and that was super awesome.

REMIX STORY VIDEO

And in AJR fashion they introduced ‘No Grass Today’ by saying “Berkeley, this is a song about weed.” This song was super fun to sing. Once the song was almost over they came down into the crowd and we all sang together and it was super fun and cute. These boys are honestly the best I love them. Ryan came out away from his piano and danced a lot during this song and it was so goofy I loved everything about it.

And then they tore down the ‘What Everyone’s Thinking’ poster and revealed a sample machine pad and Adam pressed the buttons while Jack pretended it was him on the poster. They played ‘I’m Ready’ and the crowd went crazy for the song and it was so much fun and great.

They said goodbye and then the crowd chanted for ‘Weak’ and the boys came back on for an encore and they played ‘Weak’ and oh my gosh it was amazing. Everyone sang so loud and knew all the words and it was just awesome. Then they did a drum break down and had audience members hold buckets while they played on them and it was magical. 

Next thing I knew the concert was over. Adam, Jack, and Ryan all walked to center stage, grabbed hands, and bowed. The audience cheered so loud it was so great.

This was honestly one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to, the crowd and energy was great, the performance was phenomenal, and the whole experience was just one of a kind and very memorable. If you ever get the chance to see AJRi highly recommend that you do so because this was a once in a lifetime feeling that I want everyone to know and these boys are amazing, talented, and loving people.

[cctherinesadventures-blog]

It’s currently June 22 and I haven’t written since June 3

We’re packing to go home. The last 6 weeks have been incredible. I know I haven’t written in like 3 weeks but I’ll do a brief summary to catch you all up.

Our last day in Rome included Vatican city and Kimmy’s grandparents’ dinner recommendation, De Mao Patacca. Both were incredible. I didn’t realize how much of this trip is really honoring my grandparents (on my dad’s side) until Vatican. I’m not catholic and I’m not full Italian, both of those things I get from grandma and pop pop. It’s really made me miss them, because I know how excited they would be for me and how much they would love this trip. While at Vatican I wanted to get things for my family, but we aren’t catholic and my gaga isn’t catholic so I just imagined what I would have gotten my grandma and pop pop. I’m so proud of that heritage though and I’m happy for all they taught me growing up. It’s made me appreciate the trip so much more.

After Rome we went to Cinque Terre. On the train ride I talked to a woman who was born in Ontario, but moved to Italy 20 years ago. She told me all about the government here and how different it is from ours. Even though I really wanted to relax and listen to music, I’m glad I got her perspective on the world. She told me so much about life in Italy from her experiences. Cinque Terre was beautiful. It’s literally a huge cliff on the side of a mountain that falls right into the water. We swam there and relaxed for a day and a half - well deserved. I wish we would have hiked some of it, but I plan to be back so I’ll do it another time. 

When we got back to Florence Julia was here so we got to meet up with her and it was so refreshing to see a comforting face. We did the Academia with her and got Pinos and went out to this club called Dolce Zucchera - 12 euros for unlimited drinks. We also got dinner one night at Ghianya and it was SO delicious. Me and Kimmy have been back since then because wow. Yum.

Now onto one of my favorite weekends (even though they’re all my favorite) - NAPLES! I’m gonna take some time for this one because I won’t get over it any time soon. We got there and checked into the hostel of the sun - immediately I could feel pop pop’s presence. He knew I was there and he was so happy. As soon as we checked in we went for Pizza, obviously. We went to one of the famous pizzerias and ate dinner there with a few beers and simply wow. First things first, it was only 4 euro for a full pizza. Secondly, literally the best pizza I have ever tasted in my entire life. I don’t know if I’ll be able to enjoy pizza in the US the same ever again. We got to know some of the hostel pals there and went back to the living room area to hang out with them. We ended up playing cards against humanity (lol), but it was fun. Everyone was really welcoming. Since we had a full travel day we went to bed around 11, also we were going to Capri the next day so we had to rest up. The group from the hostel who went to Capri was so fun - the girls, Vicky, Torie, and Megan, and the only boy, Ben. The boat was supposed to take us around Capri, let us swim in the Mediterranean, take us to the Blue Grotto, and give us time on the island. We got to do all of that, except the Blue Grotto (which was so sad). It was a super fun day though, we didn’t get back until like 7pm and then we went to a place called 900 for pizza. It was back in the not-touristy part of town so we got to really experience Naples. The people there are so fun and loud and always excited. I honestly can see so much where my family gets it from. At the 900 everyone got pizza except me because I wanted to honor pop pop by getting a mussels and spaghetti dish. It was some of the best mussels I’ve ever had. We got back to the hostel after and went to bed to wake up and do Pompeii and Vesuvius the next day with Torie, Vicky, and Megan. Vesuvius was so big and hard to climb - we literally took a safari vehicle to get up most of it. Afterwards Kimmy and I went to Pompeii by ourselves since the other girls had to catch a train that night. At lunch we met this couple from Norfolk who knew the Tribles.... weird. But Pompeii was so beautiful, we spent literally 4 hours there. On the train back this family came on and was playing Despacito for us, the son who was like 4 was on the drums. It was so fun! When we got back to the hostel we decided to shower (because we were covered in Volcanic ash) and then go to dinner. We were supposed to meet people at this place called Nennella so we headed there. From this point on, I knew that my family was truly from Naples. It was the most lively restaurant I’ve ever been to in my entire life. The waiter was yelling names, he called me Catherine (pronounced Cat-a-reen-ay), and they put dollar spritz for the people waiting outside. The restaurant literally had a party in one of the rooms in the middle of everyone eating. When we finally got seated we were next to a man celebrating his 51st birthday and he wanted us to celebrate with him so he gave us drinks and cake! We each ordered a bottle of wine with our meal (which was delicious, even though I don’t remember exactly what I ordered). After we ate and celebrated we headed home, but stopped at a fountain and took pictures and drank our wine and just had fun being there. It was so much fun, I would go back in a heartbeat. Even though it’s a little reckless, it’s my city and I loved every second of it.

All I remember is Monday going up the the Piazzale Michelangelo for the first time with Torie and them (they were in Florence too!). Beautiful. Breathtaking. We’ve been so many times since and I’m so happy each and every time. I don’t remember anything from the rest of the school week except being unbelievably excited for Blink on Saturday.

We headed to Milan right after class on Thursday to check into the Koala hostel. When we got there we just laid in bed for a while and relaxed before dinner. For dinner we went to this amazing restaurant, Al Gargano, that was about .4 miles from the hostel. The dinner there was amazing. We also got to try Affogato for the first time - YUMMY. The man didn’t speak English at all but he was trying his best. He was doing that thing my pop pop used to do where he just makes noises, I wish I could describe it because it’s so funny. He over exaggerates everything hes saying thinking it will help us understand but its fine. After dinner we went to bed to wake up for our tour on Friday. Our tour was so nice, honestly if we hadn’t done it we wouldn’t have seen anything in Milan because it’s all so hidden. We got to see the last supper, a church, a (very big) castle, the duomo, and a theater. All beautiful but hidden in the upscale, modern, Milano. We went to this mozzarella bar for lunch called Otica. The mozzarella was really good, but eating pizza after Naples was never a good idea. Also, I think it was the worst pizza we’ve had in general here which is even more terrible right after Naples. We wanted to stay and walk around all day but there was a strike so we had to head home around 5:30. We got dinner at a sushi place by the hostel that was so good and then we went to bed to wake up early and go back to the city center before the concert!!! When we got up we got dressed and headed to the city around 12 for a few hours. We checked out some of the stores but I was so excited for Blink. When we left for Monza I couldn’t contain myself. We got to the venue around 5 - which it turns out it was a rock music festival.... WHAT THE HECK! It was so cool, we were on a lawn with probably 15,000 people. Sum 41 was awesome, Blink was incredible. We made it to the front of our section for Blink’s performance and their set list was perfect. Linkin Park was alright, their music has changed so much since New Divide so I wasn’t really a fan. It was still an amazing experience though. If I could relive Blink every day of my life I would. We headed back to the hostel, the metro in Milan was closed, so we had to get an uber (the driver was so cute and old and trying so hard to speak English with us) and then went straight to bed.

We’ve gone up to the Piazzale almost every day this week, and I’m so happy about it. Weirdly enough we ran into Ford and Keithley on Monday here so we took them there and showed them around Florence for a day. I might feel weird about seeing so many people from home but its nice every once in a while. Before we saw them we climbed the Duomo though so that was so cool. I loved seeing the city from up there. We weer exhausted by the end of the night though from all the walking and climbing. Tuesday we had so much planned to do but we ended up just laying in bed most of the day and doing work for class. Our professor gave us a project and a final exam... Not fun. Wednesday was the same, we went to Osteria San Spirito for dinner though, a place Kimmy’s friend recommended, and it was really good. Expensive. But good. We both got two glasses of wine because class was really stressing us out. After dinner we walked around and went on the Piazza de Repubblica carousel just for fun. It was a really good night. When we got back we studied a little and then went to bed.

And now here I am at today, June 22, 2017. I can’t believe we move out tomorrow. Lucky for us we stay an extra night though so we don’t leave until Saturday. Our exam this morning actually wasn’t bad at all - even though I’m sad to leave I’m happy that class is over. After class we went to the Uffizi which was so much bigger than I expected. We walked around there for about an hour and a half and then came home to pack. I finished getting my things together around 1:30 before we got hungry for lunch. We went to Pinos for a panino and took it all in. We bought shirts and the woman working asked us if we were leaving soon. I hated saying yes. Honestly it’s all hitting me and literally as I’m writing this I can feel a knot in my throat forming. We got home and finished packing. Here I am now, writing away my day. We’re going to go out tonight with some classmates, so I’ll be sure to fill in more tomorrow. Ugh, I don’t want it to be over. One more full day, thats it. Wow.