#its also funny how no one is daring to mention the fact that it could be about his gf

[lokisasylum]

👻

[endearng]

Firsts

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Summary: You and Spencer navigate through your firsts throughout your life as childhood friends.

WC: 6k

Warnings: death, grief, use of drugs to cope with grief, uhhhh i guess that's it

A/N: HELLO!!! It's been so so long and I'm sorry I took forever to update — uni's kicking my ass but now I'll try to write a bit more during holidays season. I hope you guys enjoy this one <3 Feedbacks are highly appreciated!

| masterlist

"Do you think we'll stay friends?"

"I'm sure we'll stay friends."

For a genius, your best friend, Spencer Reid, never seemed to notice some of his speech patterns — he would echo you sometimes, which you honestly found adorably funny, and he also had a tendency for rambling, even if it wasn't that appropriate at times. When you two were alone, you didn't mind; in fact, you encouraged him and let him talk to you all the way. When there was someone else, like either of your parents or a teacher (these were your regular companions), you would try to tap him on the arm subtly so he would know when to stop. Although it broke your heart, he said himself once that he appreciated when you helped him look more normal.

Right now, things are everything but normal. Spencer had graduated high school at the age of 12 while you were still in seventh grade and he was leaving to study at Caltech. You didn't dare to compare yourself to him, but you would definitely miss him around, since he was the first person you saw everyday (besides your parents, of course) and the one who walked you to school and then went on the way to his. Right now, you are sitting on the floor of your front porch, while Spencer is laying his head on your lap and you have your hands on his hair. You always said to him that he's got nice hair, no matter how he styled or decided to cut it. He blushed every single time.

"You know… I'm gonna miss you, Spencer."

"I'm gonna miss you. But you'll still be in my life."

"Will I?"

"I'm leaving, but I'll try my best to keep in touch. We can call each other. I'll spare a couple hours of my week so you can talk to me." A small grin stretched on his lips when he mentioned talking to you. A crease made its way between your brows when you thought you'd only talk to him weekly.

Trying to play it cool, you asked, just to be sure, just to check if the pang in your heart felt less intense, less hurtful. "Will you?"

"Yes, I will."

Despite having him in your lap, you couldn't see his eyes, for they were closed in delight from your gentle touch. You saw him smile softly and you could see just how relaxed he seemed with this big change — honestly, if you were him, you'd be terrified. Quickly trying to get rid of your sad and fearful thoughts, as you ran your hands through his hair, you poorly fought the urge to chuckle when you thought about braiding his hair. He felt the air that left your lungs hit his face when you did.

Curious, as he always had been, he inquired, "What is it?"

"You'd look good with braids."

"I'm not letting you braid my hair," even if his tone was one of mock offense, a chuckle made its way out of him.

"I didn't ask to."

You saw as he bit back a grin. Little did you know, but he's is heaven, here in your presence. In dire need of some place safe to just be, without the expectations and the big things that are expected from him and to happen to him. As you unknowingly soothed his thoughts with your gentle touch, he thought about how strange it is having someone touch him and not being utterly opposed to the idea. He also thought about how, for one time in his life, he didn't know something, which was the feeling spreading on his chest. Nevertheless, there was a ghost of a small, shy smile on his face as his shoulders relaxed.

He was happy.

—

As you made your way home from your sixteenth birthday dinner, something felt odd. Looking out the window, the city lights seemed to run from how fast your dad is driving. In the backseat, all alone, you tried to figure out what made you feel so empty all night long. As the car went over a bump, you instinctively looked to the side, and then everything made sense. Spencer wasn't there. Usually, after whatever family celebration you'd go to, he would be there (because you'd insist on taking him with you), by your side in the backseat of your dad's car, laughing at whatever funny thing had happened during the event. He was your company to every single thing you did, and you had been missing him quite more often as the contact between you two became more and more scarce.

Turning to look out the window again, your mom saw the frown on your face and sighed quietly, knowing precisely why you weren't chatting like you normally did. The specific pair of ears that you wanted to be listened by were not here. And she didn't blame you one bit.

As you got home, your frown was quickly replaced by a hopeful feeling on your chest and in your features when you found a voicemail addressed to you.

Hey! I hope you get home before midnight so that you won't think, not even for a minute, that I have forgotten about you. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it! I'm really stressed right now because there are too many things happening at the same time and I'm here all by myself, so... I guess you know, better than myself, how I feel. You… You know me so well. It is nice to be known by you. Anyway... Um... I'd like to wish you a happy birthday and, ah, I also would like you to know that I wish I could have been with you today. I'm really sorry because I know how much you love your birthdays. I'm sending you a gift, but I'm not sure if it will arrive on time. I miss you. I miss you and whatever Taylor Swift song you were always humming when we were walking back from school.

Anyway, er... I miss you—hah—I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how much I miss you. And how much I miss our time together. Uh, happy birthday!

You didn't know when, but you had teared up at some point listening to him. You didn't know whether the cause was hearing his voice again or because he remembered you or because he told you he missed your time together or that he remembered the silly songs you'd sing when you were walking back home together. Before going to bed, you let your bedside table lamp on, as you always did before so Spencer knew, from the house beside yours, that you were up or you didn't care if he called you in the middle of the night. Either way...

You were happy.

—

Underneath the Christmas tree, the glow of the warm white fairy lights you and your mom had picked out was almost blinding. Yet, you and Spencer couldn't care less. You were both too infatuated by the blinding brightness that punished your eyes to care about having problems later. Closing your eyes, you smiled to yourself, happy to be doing something so ordinary, so dumb, with your best friend. Behind your eyelids, the light was not as relentless and it granted some relief from the current sight, which sort of looked like a kaleidoscope of... white. You heard when Spencer turned his head to look at you, but you missed his soft grin.

"It was overwhelming me," you explained.

"I know." He replied, still looking at you.

Your profile, under the yellowish glow, looked almost ethereal. The slope of your nose, the curve of your lips, everything was forever ingrained into his memory. By now, Spencer could map out every single freckle on your face — especially the particular one on your lower lip. He sighed at the sheer thought of your lips. You were now seventeen and so was Spencer. Puberty had been way gentler on you than it was on him and he noticed with a blush that you were growing up, just as he was. You were a little taller, for sure, and you had put on some weight in all the right places, not to mention your style that matched your personality. As for him, he had that voice pitch swing that he hated greatly, still wore thick glasses and overall went with the nerdy stereotype that everyone picked on him for… while you looked like you were glowing.

You opened your eyes and turned to look at him. You were so close that it almost hurt. Inches separated Spencer from what he thought would be the best feeling of his life. From the person that had him lying awake for hours, tossing and turning on his bed until the sun began to rise. "I can't wait to give you your gift. I think you'll love it!"

He grinned. "I'll be happy with anything." From you, he meant to say, but he didn't finish.

You closed your eyes again, a grin of your own on your face. He wondered... What if he got closer? What if he kissed you? What if you pulled away? What if you didn't pull away? What if you cut him off?

Almost unconsciously, he inched closer and closer to the point your breaths mingled together. You didn't pull away, not even for a second. Instead, you leaned in, getting ever closer to him than you ever had been before. The fairy lights made you look even prettier than before. You looked like a dream.

"I was thinking..."

"About what?" He asked. Despite his gaze being lost in you, he was acutely aware of the words coming out of your mouth.

God, your mouth.

"It's stupid..." You muttered, looking away from his eyes.

"You know you can talk to me." It's not stupid if it's you.

"Okay... okay." You breathed in. "Me and the girls were talking about first kisses. And I felt so, so embarrassed because I haven't had mine yet."

Spencer felt dizzy. Even if he wasn't the best at social cues, if he was reading this right, you wanted him to kiss you too. He exhaled softly, trying to clear his thoughts. His voice was weak when he asked, "And?"

"Have you had yours yet? I know we talk about everything and all that, but... have you?"

He chuckled at your question. How could he, the scrawny little nerdy boy have had his kiss and you hadn't? "You're joking right?"

"I'm not! I'm genuinely curious."

He didn't know, but your heart was in your throat, too scared of a positive answer.

"I haven't had my first kiss yet."

Somehow, that did nothing to calm your racing heart. Inching even closer, you muttered, "we could have it together."

If Spencer didn't pass out with your words, he was sure he would be unshakable for the rest of his life. Whatever life threw at him, it wouldn't matter as much as this moment of sheer strength and self-control, because he didn't pull you in immediately. "Are you sure?"

"I'd be fine with kissing you. You're my best friend. I—I know you won't judge me and you know I won't judge you either. And—and... even if things are... embarrassing... i—it will still be a good memory in the… future." As your soft voice reached his ears, he felt like he was in heaven.

Your arguments for kissing him made him wonder if you had spent that much time considering it as he did. "Okay, you've got a few points. I'm—I'm not... opposed to the idea."

Your heart burned. You both inched closer and closer, a hair width separating your lips. As your eyes fluttered closed and you placed one of your hands on the back of his neck, both hesitantly and surely, Spencer mimicked you and pressed his lips to yours with the lightest pressure as his hand found your waist tentatively. Your lips felt so soft and sweet. He knew he would feel you for days — and hoped you'd feel him for days, too.

Encouraged by him, you pressed your lips a bit harder against him. He gasped softly and you took the opportunity to capture his lower lip between yours and kiss it gently. Spencer could feel his heartbeat drumming on his ears and he tightened his hold on your waist the tiniest bit. Internally, he thought he died and went to heaven and that's how he was welcomed there. Your lips fit together so nicely and he felt his heart burning for you and he knew back then that he would do anything you asked him to in a heartbeat.

You pulled back to lick your lips and fitted them into his again. He sighed, again, moving to your accord as he tried focusing on how good it felt to be kissed by you rather than how you could regret it later. Distancing yourself, your eyes slowly fluttered open, finding his dazed ones already looking back at you. You grinned at him. Another secret between the two of you; but this time, it wasn't an embarrassing one.

He smiled back.

Later that day, Spencer sat on his bed, touching his lips, feeling the tingle yours had left behind. Smiling like an idiot, he wrote that date on the wood of his nightstand, black marker holding the evidence that tonight had actually happened, if he were to ever forget. If anyone asked, well, he would have to come up with something to hide the fact that he was relentlessly in love with you, but he would replay the best memory of his life in the back of his mind as his mouth stuttered out a little white lie.

He was so confused. And screwed. And so utterly happy.

—

At Caltech, at the ripe age of eighteen, on a working day, as usual, Spencer typed aggressively on his keyboard, writing an academic paper on a topic that had come to his mind during one of his classes and later inspired fully by a conversation with this one professor. Looking at the time on his computer screen, he cursed. It was already time he was supposed to be on his way to class, which was unlike him. There was a reason, though.

Last night, he had gotten home late. He had lost track of time talking to a girl whose name was Alex. They were both at the university library, and they hit it off immediately talking about Literature and then more mundane things — he had found out that she was a high schooler having classes with grad students, just like himself a few years back. Getting home late, his entire schedule for the day ahead had been ruined, so everything felt odd as he tried to navigate through his last obligations. He had gone to bed later than usual and overslept for some reason unknown to him.

As he got up abruptly, he knocked his knee on the desk, which was now getting very small for the size he had grown into. Shutting his eyes and suppressing a whine, he breathed in. As he opened his eyes, his line of sight caught glance of one of the two only photos he had hung up on his wall. The first was him and his mother, Diana. The second was you and him.

It was short after your fifteenth birthday, and he finally had had the time to go visit. You had greeted him with a very warm hug. That very same day, you had dragged him to your bedroom, which now didn't have the pink walls and the posters of the bands you liked so much anymore. Now, the walls were a cool tone of sage green and your walls were cleaner, the posters being replaced by photos of you and your friends from school. He had felt a tinge of jealousy, noticing just how much he was missing out on your life. Despite the lingering feeling, he tried to not let it get to him.

You thanked him so much for the gift he had given you, one of those polaroid cameras. He had spent so much time saving money to get you that present. The excited, happy tone in your voice during the phone call you had made to thank him made him feel like it had been worth it to spend that much.

"Hey, here she is! I named her Marie. From Marie Curie, of course." You explained, holding your camera carefully as you both entered your bedroom

"You named 'her' Marie?"

"She has a special place on my heart."

He chuckled. "You're so material, sometimes."

"You gave it to me!"

"I gave it to you." He whispered, a hint of a smile dancing around his features.

You smiled. "Come on, let's take a picture. It's her first. I waited a whole month so you'd be here to take this photo with me. It's only fair you're the first person to be photographed with me by Marie."

"Oh... okay..."

Holding the camera with both of your hands, you held it out so that it would capture the two of you. "Smile." You said, and, without checking his pose, you pressed the button, a big grin on your face, for the photo, of course, but also from being so madly happy that you were with him again. Spencer didn't know what do to, frozen on the spot because you were so, so close. He just looked at you, dumbstruck gaze on him as he watched you smile so beautifully at the camera.

His heart was doing somersaults.

After the flash in your face, you blinked rapidly, chuckling to yourself. "Oooh. That's uncomfortable, heh." You open your eyes and the first thing you see are his beautiful hazel ones, looking straight at you, as if he didn't even blink upon the bothering aftermath of the light on your faces. You nearly had to gulp under the intensity of his gaze. Then, you quickly regained consciousness and started fanning the small piece so that the picture would appear faster.

The result was the one now stuck to his wall: you, with the biggest smile on your face and he, lovestruck, dumb, lost gaze as he looked at you.

Sigh.

Spencer quickly shook his head, not meaning to be later and even more stressed than he already was. He missed you, though. And he let himself relish in that feeling of longing for a minute. Glancing at the photo, he couldn't help but think you were already eighteen. And that he had loved you from the first time he saw you — when he was twelve.

He sat on his bed, having removed the photo from the wall. As he held it delicately between his fingers, he thought of you. He always did. In spite of being late, in spite of everything telling him he had to go through his days, he felt something tugging at his heartstrings, a longing feeling that he should be somewhere else, something that told him something, so he knew.

It was time to go.

—

Back in his hometown, even the air felt different, despite exuding an aroma that reminded him of his younger days. It had been some time since he had visited, and the distance between you and him only grew further. Driving past your house — the state of California had finally issued his license —, he saw a somewhat big crowd of people, all dressed in black.

He felt like the noise around him didn't fully reach his brain. Like he was under water.

Robotically stepping out of his car, he approached the house cautiously. Almost as instantly as your mom welcomed him, he saw you across the room, dressed in black. Bloodshot eyes found him instantly, and a flicker of relief passed your expression — unable to muster up a smile, but oh so willing to show him that you were grateful for his presence. You felt frozen to the spot and had been standing in that corner for hours. A man placed his hand on your shoulder and that's when you looked away from Spencer. He noticed it, of course, and was obliged to acknowledge the blonde man by your side. You didn't smile at him either.

Spencer approached, somewhat relieved that you were okay, but so confused and overwhelmed by the entire situation. Almost unwilling to believe whatever bad thing had happened, because he had been so happy with you in that house.

Once he was within your earshot, you greeted weakly, "Hi."

"Hi."

Silence.

"Can we talk?"

Something about the look in your eyes told him that you desperately wanted, no, needed, craved it from him, his presence. With a subtle nod, you excused yourself from the man and lead him to the backyard. Sitting on the same bench you did when it was too late and you talked about the stars together, you reveal softly as you stare into the distance, "Dad's gone."

Spencer felt like he had been punched and all the air had left his lungs after your confirmation of something he was suspecting already. Finally, he blurted out, sitting down by yourself, "W—what?"

"He didn't wake up."

"He didn't wake up?"

"No... Last night, Spencer..." You begun, your voice thick with emotion, "he said that everything was alright." You frowned, tears streaming down your face, "That he... loves... loved me and mom... and that... that had been his role on Earth."

He stood quiet, waiting for the rest of what you had to say, still shaken by the news. Your broken voice and distant gaze were enough to skyrocket the pain he felt. Spencer absolutely adored your dad, and he was one of the few that Spencer confided in wholeheartedly when things got too rough for him to bear by himself. Even though your dad was the quiet type, Spencer would go as far as saying that he was somehow his dad as well.

With your silence, he had a little time to see past the pain. Analyzing your figure, he knew. He knew you had to leave. If you decided to stay, you'd be rooted to the spot and you wouldn't be able to grow any further, forever stuck into the never ending, relentless force of grief. Spencer knew that because, besides knowing you better than anyone else, he had left in hopes to escape the person he thought he was doomed to become. Your voice brought him out of his reverie. "I laughed. I thought he was joking."

"Maybe he was joking."

"Maybe he knew he was leaving."

Silence.

You look up at him. Asking for answers. For something. For comfort.

Sitting down beside you, he held your shaking shoulders as you let tears fall freely and you lost your breath and you choked on your own saliva. An ugly, guttural, desolate crying. Spencer held you through it all — he was ready to scream at anyone on the garden if they had the nerve to go there, but, actually, in that moment, you didn't care that somebody could see or hear you. The effect of the pills your mother had given you had started to wear off and you felt things way more intensely than when she first broke the news.

Dad's gone, was all that you could hear her voice say as Spencer turned his body to fully embrace you, placing your head on his shoulder and sobbing your pain as an effort to quell the ache of your loss.

It took every single ounce of self-control for Spencer not to break down with you, because in that moment, he preferred to swallow his own pain so that he could be your safe space instead. As your sobs slowly subsided, you sighed, squeezing your eyes shut as if that would make the pain that invaded your whole body go away.

"I think..." you started, but never finished.

Silence.

"I think you should move away."

You looked at him, baffled, puzzled, hopeful.

"What?" You whispered softly.

"I think staying won't do you any good. And you know I'm right." His gaze never faltered.

You took a deep breath. "M-my mom... Spencer... she doesn't have anyone else. I-I can't do that... to her..." You gulped. The meer thought of leaving felt exhilarating, but you had to stay. You were rooted.

"Your brothers are always around." He replied.

"Not anymore. Much has changed since… since you... left."

"I didn't leave." He said, defensively.

"I didn't accuse you. At least I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

He pressed his lips into a thin line. "Would you consider it? Leaving, I mean?" Please, say yes. Please, say yes. Come with me.

"I would... I don't know, Spencer." Your voice was broken. "Too... too much is going on. I can't just... go."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"There's dad. And now mom. And that stupid college... I don't know where I fit." You fit next to me, he wanted to scream at you, but he realized it wasn't fair of him to demand anything from you at that moment. "I don't know what path to take without my dad here to guide me." A wet chuckle made its way out of you. He hugged you again.

On a sudden wave of boldness, he stated, "If you stay, this will be your life. If you go, you'll have somewhere to come back to if things go wrong. I—I… I know, um, that I sound very insensitive right now, but that's the truth. Why do you think I went away?"

"I can't." And your tears began again, even harder this time.

He sighed, holding you against his chest once again. Despite the unbearable pain of not being able to help, to persuade you, he decided to respect your decision.

“My father's in a casket. I have got no plans.” You muttered softly. His heart broke for you all over again.

“You've got me. And I've got you.”

Looking up at him, your eyes glimmered with hope. Desperate to believe him, desperate to leave. With him, if he'd have you.

But that wasn't how it worked.

You buried your face on his chest again, willing the tears to stop, to have some control over yourself again.

He held you through it all. He was there for you.

Spencer's stay didn't last long, even though it was filled with an unspoken, desperate beg for you to come with him, even if he didn't quite know how things would work once you accepted. After some thinking, he realized he was asking too much of you for the sake of trying to protect you from what he knew was going to happen. Losing his own father, albeit for a different reason, had changed him permanently and he was scared that you, losing yours, would turn into a different person too. The mere thought of losing you to grief was too much to handle, even if he understood that his pleas were unfair to you, not to mention absurd.

Spencer's brain was turned into a whirlwind of thoughts, all of them desperate to find a way out of this situation, to find a way out to get you out of that place — both physically and mentally. As he stood by your side during your dad's burial, he let you squeeze his hand as if that would somehow make the pain less intense for you. It didn't, but it felt nice to have someone to carry the weight with you.

—

Spencer had joined the FBI at the age of 23, when you were graduating from college. The difference was staggering and it made you laugh the same as it had when he was going to college and you were going to seventh grade. It had been years since you had last met in person, after all, Diana was the main reason he'd go to Vegas, and he didn't go there much because he was often too busy with his studies and his career. Once, he had confided in you, saying that he secretly wished that it would be enough of a good excuse to avoid seeing his mother in a facility and saving them both from the pain. Tonight, though, that would change. You were visiting him in Virginia.

A little nervous, you knocked on his door. Once he answered, you took in his appearance and your heart swelled at the sight. In your eyes, he'd always looked the prettiest, but now… It's like something had shifted: Spencer was all that you saw. And you didn't want to look at anything else anymore.

“Hi,” you greeted in a weak voice. Perhaps the intensity of your smile stole away your will to speak properly.

“You're here.” Spencer muttered, eyes filled with many emotions, but that you decided to read as relief.

“I am.”

“God, it's been so long,” he says, closing the gap between you and him, wrapping his arms around your torso, resting his head on your shoulder, not so subtly trying to smell your perfume. And failing to hide the overdrive when he noticed it was the same from all those years ago, from when you had first kissed.

Pulling away slightly, you cupped his cheeks with both hands and took in his shiny eyes, the ones that you adored so much and now met yours with a new perspective on everything. Once entering his apartment, you found that the place screamed his name, from the scattered books and the endless piles all over his living room. His TV had a documentary in a foreign language on, and you smiled to yourself. Spencer had never changed and, at his core, was still the boy you were once close friends with.

Spencer filled you in on the things you missed. You knew they were mostly about his job because he wasn't one to step out of his comfort zone — not that you'd judge him for it. “I miss having you around, tapping my arm so I know when to stop,” he revealed softly as you two shared a tub of ice cream.

Forget germs, forget pathogens, forget viruses, forget everything. She is here.

You giggled. It set his heart on fire. “Ah, Spencer… You know I only did it when other people were around. Other people are just other people. You're you. And rambling is part of who you are. Don't let that disappear.”

He smiled. You were still you.

“In fact, I have something to tell you.”

His heartbeat fastened, thinking of every possible scenario, reliving every single one of your experiences in the back of his mind. “You… you have something to tell me?” He echoed. He was still him.

Chuckling softly, “I'm glad you're still you, Spencer. I still say your name when people ask me who's my best friend. It's an excuse to relive our favorite stories as I tell them all about you.”

Spencer was left speechless, bashfully looking away from you as he resumed to talk about his days at the FBI. He told you all about his team, the people and what they found on a daily basis. “Do you think it's weird that I study what I do study?”

“No, Spence. You've always had a curious mind. Why do you ask?” You inquired back.

“I don't know… sometimes I think that people find me weird.”

“You're not,” you said, simply. “Your interests are very diverse, and anyone who talks to you will find that out. Being a profiler is not weird.”

He grinned. Your words or arguments about his insecurities throughout your friendship weren't always the most complex, but he always felt better by talking to you. He was never ashamed, never too scared of admitting something or voicing his needs. You made him feel like it was okay to speak, to want, to be. Whatever his limitations were and whatever words he left unspoken, they were never your fault. You'd never frowned at him, not once.

As the night progressed, he filled you in on what he had been doing for fun, mentioning his current readings — one of them on his nightstand. Giddily, you went over to his bedroom to find the novel that he was talking about, so that you could hear him talk about it and recite, by heart, quotes that illustrated his points and interpretation from the book. Upon entering his bedroom, you smiled to yourself. So Spencer. The sand-colored walls, the neat and clean floor, his slightly wrinkled bedsheets, a pile of laundry on top of his bed, a few scattered items on his nightstand — which, by the way, was the same in his mother's house. You had always found it amazingly pretty, the light wood and the black paint that covered the iron of the drawer pulls.

As you reached the piece of furniture and removed the book, you found something scribbled right under where the object had been lying. You were ready to give him a piece of your mind and you opened your mouth, ready to tell him not to ruin the perfect nightstand, but as you turned on the lamp to try and find out what was written there, the writing in black ink made you shiver. You fell silent. It was the date of your first kiss.

Time stopped. Why was that date written there? And why did the possibilities both scared and thrilled you so damn much? You felt someone behind you. “So, you found the book or what?” The question made its way out of his lips in a teasing tone. But, as you turned around softly, the book still clutched tightly in your hands, your eyes questioned him back. Not accusingly, only… curiously.

When he realized what you had discovered, the air left his lungs and he tried desperately to come up with an excuse. It turns out that he hadn't been asked by many people about the meaning of that date — and it's not like he had many visitors, anyway. “I… You… You… Did you… see it?” You managed to nod, weakly.

“What does it mean?” You asked, eyes never leaving his.

Looking away, he replied, “I was scared to forget.”

“Forget?” You inquired, shifting your weight.

“About it…. That night, I mean. about… us.” You gazed at him understandingly once he answered.

“About us?” Funnily enough, now you were the one parroting him. It would have made you chuckle if the situation wasn't that serious.

He breathes out, “Yeah, us.”

A beat of silence. You take a step towards him, and his breath hitches. “Have you forgotten?”

He searches your face. Upon finding nothing but support, he reveals, “There's not a single day I don't remember that moment.” You gulp and he takes a step closer, which makes your grip on the book tighten even more. You closed your eyes — a silent invitation, but it makes him falter once he doesn't have your eyes to navigate him through what he's supposed to do.

I'm glad you're still you, Spencer.

Encouraged by the memory of your words from moments ago and the presence of you, he closes the distance between you, once and for all. There's nothing that could hold him back from loving you once your lips touch and press together in a kiss that makes the book fall to your feet as your hands find their place on the back of his neck.

On any other day, Spencer Reid would be pissed upon seeing someone drop a book, let alone a considerably heavy one, on his feet — that's absurd. That moment, though, he couldn't care less as he squeezed your waist, as if trying to convince himself that you were there, that it was real, and that he finally got to do what he has always wanted.

Spencer and you had been through many firsts during the time you've known each other; some good firsts and some pretty bad firsts. But, there was a quote, from ‘Doctor Who’, that you always reminded him and yourself whenever things got too tough:

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant."

As long as he had you to soften the bad things and had your company during the good things, Spencer figured that life would be a pile of more good than bad things.

[bbyobbyo]

Everyone thinks Vernon is always at your place because you feed him. While you can agree it's mostly true, there might be more to it than meets the eye.

content: fluff, f2l, mentions of food

wc: 1.6k

notes: me taking a stab at writing lol. i also don't know how tumblr works. inspired by the fact that this man will eat everything in sight regardless if its someone else's food or not. i'd love to cook for him someday ���

6pm on the dot. You don't even have to check to know who it is.

"Hey, Sol." You look up from the pot you've been stirring to greet your visitor who let himself in. Your apartment's passcode was practically muscle memory at this point.

"Hey, smells good in here," he comments while taking off his shoes, "I mean — it always does but you get it." You give him a little chuckle in response.

You hadn't been friends with Hansol for very long, but when a mutual friend decided to introduce you two to each other, you instantly hit it off. The whirlwind of a friend group you now shared was filled with strong personalities and quirks: Seungcheol was the self-proclaimed "dad" of the group but you'd swear he would whine and complained more than the rest of them combined. Seungkwan, the one who always had a sassy quip to share, but would be the first to cry at Disney movie nights. There was Jihoon, who showed his love exclusively with acts of service but is so tsundere he would rather die to admit he had any kind of emotions besides annoyance. Not to mention Soonyoung, who made it his mission to convince everyone that he was a tiger. No one knew how this bit started but everyone finds it entertaining nonetheless.

Amongst them all, Hansol was just a dude. A normal guy. As funny as it sounds, that's what made you two click so well. Not that he didn't have his own aspirations (and his own fair share of quirks!), but he had always been the sort of person that was along for the ride. Although a little bit clueless at times, you could tell his heart was in the right place.

"I brought dessert, by the way," He plops a plastic bag onto the kitchen counter, his cheekbones pushed all the way out in a smug grin, "hope you like it."

"Aww, Sol you didn't have to!" delight in your eyes as you wipe your freshly washed but still wet hands on your pants and scurry over to peek inside the bag. "Oh my god, this is that tiramisu from that bougie place, isn't it?! I heard the wait times were, like, over an hour. You're insane for this, thank you so much!" You're practically beaming as you put the dessert in refrigerator, promptly turning around to give him a hug. His hands automatically reach around your back as you bury your face into his chest. Man, he will never get tired of the way you smile at him over the smallest things.

"You're always feeding me, so it's like, the least I can do really" he murmurs as you let go, his own smile spreading across his face when you look up at him.

Right. Your relationship with Hansol was rooted in the fact that you both loved food. Cooking food in your case, and eating it for him. It was a match made in heaven, really. In the beginning stages of your friendship, you always noticed how he would always ask for bites of other peoples' food, the way he would eye a bag of snacks if anyone dared to bring them out, the "you gonna finish that..?" that would inevitably follow the conclusion of every meal. The guy was a human trash can with a black hole in place of his stomach. So really, was anyone surprised when Hansol practically attached himself to you that day you brought in those homemade baked goods for the friend group?

After that day, the rest was history. His insatiable hunger and the lack of his own cooking skills (poor dude would be consuming toast everyday if he didn't eat out) made him worship the ground you walked on whenever you fed him. In turn, his enthusiasm for your cooking and willingness to give honest feedback on your experimental recipes made him a regular guest at your apartment, much like today.

Hansol would be lying if he said he didn't feel like he was taking advantage of you sometimes, no matter how much you insisted that it wasn't the case. He always tried his best to chip in for your groceries or pick up ingredients when you didn't have time. He didn't even mind the way his friends teased him for being at your place more often than his own or the fact that you gained your own nickname among the guys as his personal chef. He was happy with your little arrangement, and it also helped that you were so easy to be around.

"Hey, can you help me set the table?" you say as you push a stack of plates and tableware toward him. Your attention is quickly pulled away again as you go to plate the food you've been laboring over the past hour.

The routine is a familiar one: sitting down across from each other with a wide array of dishes and sides in between. You always make him take the first bites; "I already taste tested everything as I was cooking, silly!" you would say, eyes focused and hands tucked under your chin eagerly awaiting his reactions and thoughts.

Today's meal was a hit, as it usually is. Hansol could count less than a handful of times that he didn't love your food, and even then he still ate everything despite you telling him that it was okay if he didn't finish it.

The next part of the routine, however, rivals even the food in his eyes. Both of you are glued to the chairs chatting away, even when all the food is long gone and empty plates remain on the table. Between you two, there was always something to talk about. Tangents turn to into more tangents turn into "remember when we…" turn into "we should totally do…" Hours can pass by before one of you even remembers that there was dessert in the fridge, and even more hours before either of you get up again to go wash the dishes. When that happens, you simply carry the conversation to the kitchen except this time with the gentle running of sink as background noise.

You were like a breath of fresh air from the chaos of his main friend group and someone he felt entirely comfortable with. Except lately he's been wanting to see you more and more. He would catch himself staring at his phone hoping a text from you would pop up, asking him to come over again.

He's embarrassed to admit that you have never hung out one-on-one outside of the walls of your apartment. It was an unspoken boundary that you two saw each other under the pretense of food, a boundary that he increasingly would like to cross.

You're not even looking at him, attention focused on scrubbing away at the pot in your hand, still talking about that awkward encounter with your neighbor yesterday. But the longer he stares at you, Hansol thinks to himself — have you always been this pretty? He traces every part of your form, from the micro expressions you make with your eyebrows as you talk, to noticing the little strands of hair by your face that escaped the ponytail you put it in, and the way your left sleeve is slowly slipping down your arm and in danger of getting soaked.

"...so screw me if I thought that it was none of his busine— Sol...?"

Before he even knew what he was doing he found himself abandoning his plate drying duty and sliding behind you at the sink, your back pressed against his chest as he grabbed your sleeve and gingerly rolled it up your arm once again. Just as he thinks you can't get any more gorgeous, his world stops when you turn your head around and he finds your face inches from his. The way your eyes glisten into his own makes the split second feel like an eternity before pulling away.

"S-sorry if I scared you, just didn't want your sleeve to get wet." adding a nervous chuckle to the end as he returns to the stack of tableware he has yet to dry.

"N-no! It's okay! Thank you for that!" you stammer back, trying not to look him in the eyes to hide the very obvious blush that spread on your cheeks. "Ahaha... yeah so anyways, what was I saying again?" Without missing a beat, he replies "you were talking about how your nosy neighbor thinks we're dating because I come over so often."

"Oh, haha, right..." your voice is barely above a whisper, a chuckle dies in your throat as you realize you've been scrubbing an already clean pot for 5 minutes now. You sigh as you turn off the water and start drying off your hands to put the dishes back in their places.

"I don't mind," he says after a thoughtful pause. It takes a second for you to register the words. "Sorry, what?"

"I don't mind if he thinks we're dating."

You feel like the hearing comprehension part of your brain just reset. "Wait, wha-"

"I think it would be kinda nice actually... if we dated."

After a second too long of silence from you, he was the one with panic with his eyes this time. "B-but only if you want to! Shit, uh, sorry I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. Just forget I said anyth-"

He's interrupted by your arms snaking around his neck. "You're hopeless, Sol", you say as you press a light kiss to his lips. "I think it would be nice if we dated, too."

[the-astronome]

Saw a post here about names of pathologic characters, and decided to share some thoughts regarding our beloathed Bachelor, because I realised something and have to share it with you.

So, what do we know? Well, his name is certainly Daniil and his surname is Dankovsky. “What about his patronymic?” you might ask. Here it’s a bit more complicated, but knowing that he once signed a letter with D.D.D. we can safely assume his patronymic starts with a D, and as a matter of fact, I’m quite sure that it’s actually Daniilovich (i.e. his father’s name was also Daniil), though my arguments in favour of this are rather funny

1)Name:

Daniil, what does this name mean? To begin with, the name comes from Hebrew (“Dānīyyēʾl” in romanised version) and literally means “God is my judge”. What is more interesting, in my opinion, is that this name is partially formed by another Jewish name, “Dan”. “Dan” literally means “judge” and its most known bearer is Dan, son of Jacob (also known as Israel, the angel-wrestling guy), who was (according to the Bible) the founder of the Tribe of Dan. Moreover, the symbol of this tribe is a serpent, because of Dan’s sly, scheming, and calculating character.

Apart from that, Bachelor’s a doctor, and one of the most famous symbols of medicine (at least in Russia) is a Bowl of Hygieia, see a simple example below

This also could be an intended symbolism, which probably started with IPL thinking how they would name their genius-doctor-character, and then spiralling down into all these snake-related topics, eventually choosing Daniil. It might have been just a funny coincidence. Someone can probably text them on Twitter and ask.

2)Surname:

Here it’s a bit tricky, and please do feel free to correct me, because the info I’ll give here might be false. Anyway. When I first started P1, I was a bit puzzled by Bachelor’s surname. You see, even though it is defo a Slavic surname (e.g. -sky ending), it doesn’t make much sense to a Russian speaking person, since what the hell is “Dankov”? A surname in a surname, now ending with “-ov”? Well, here is a potential explanation:

Western Slavs have a form of “Daniel”, namely “Danko”. As far as I understand, it can be a surname (and it is, in various forms, at least in Slovakia and Ukraine). This makes the surname “Dankovsky” mean something like “of the Danko” “son of Danko” “belonging to Danko” etc. All this suggests that, if we translate his surname to Russian in the literal manner, it would change to “Daniilov”. So you see where I’m going, right..?

3)Patronymic:

So. What do we have. “Daniil” as a name, and a surname which apparently (through numerous layers of linguistic irony) is also formed from the name “Daniil”. And we know that his patronymic starts with D. Do I dare suggest that his patronymic follows this silly pattern as well, so it would be “Daniilovich”?

This leaves us with a beautiful name of Daniil Daniilovich Daniilov, which sounds rather humorous and comical to russian-speaking folks (reminds us of the legendary Ivan Ivanovich Ivanov). As a close friend of mine suggested, that could have been a placeholder of sorts during the early development of the game and/or character, when IPL only came up with a name, but not with everything else. Then they decided not to over-invent things, and just obscure the surname via translating and adapting it to Western Slavic languages (Polish and apparently Slovak, I would guess), and basically never mentioning his patronymic. Ingenious if you ask me

4)Takeaways:

Not much, unless you see a sentence where I’m talking out of my ass, please I beg you speak up if messed up the Western Slavic part, I’m not native to those languages, so could’ve missed something there.

More importantly! For me, all these layers behind DDD name form a very concrete foundation for my headcanon that Bachelor is of Polish-Jewish origin. In general, his surname suggests lots of interesting stuff, so explore the linguistic opportunities my fellow patho people

[praetorqueenreyna]

well i AM asking for the essay on modern ACOTAR fandom please🙏😩

YOU ARE ALL ENABLERS!!! FINE I SHALL WRITE MY ESSAY!!!!! I'm putting it under a read more because I'm embarrassed of how long it is.

ACOTAR fandom is strange in a fascinating and NOT FUN way. Fandom has gotten SO restrictive recently, it's suffocating. And idk what it is about ACOTAR, but its fans are among the WORST. Whatever discourse you've seen in other fandoms, multiply it by 10 to get the experience of being in mainstream ACOTAR fandom. It is an unchallenged belief in this fandom that writing, drawing, or consuming any kind of content that isn't 100% healthy in the real world means that you - YOU!!!!! - are a danger to real life human beings. Criticizing a character's choices and the author's writing decisions is warped into you being an abuse apologist and also you probably yell at abuse victims in real life. A drawing of Tamlin and Elain sitting in a garden is now a disgusting acceptance of real life abusers and you're traumatizing every abuse survivor.

I can think of countless examples off the top of my head of real life human beings being harassed and bullied and called all kinds of nasty names for the fictional content they create about fictional characters. Like, I cannot stress enough the irony of these puritans spouting off in woke-enese about how "dangerous" certain fans are being incredibly verbally and emotionally abusive to people in this fandom. A fanartist on Instagram was painting portraits of each of the ACOTAR characters, and as a fun framing device, each painting was meant to be a painting that Feyre would make, and the captions talked about how the artist thought Feyre would paint this character. A charming and delightful series taking advantage of the fact that the main character is a painter, right? WRONG!!! This artist did a painting of Tamlin, and she was raked across the coals for DARING to even IMPLY that Feyre ever even THOUGHT about Tamlin or could even CONSIDER forgiving him enough to paint him. She was accused of "forcing an abuse survivor to think about her abuser." Like, do you see how absurd that is?? Feyre isn't real!! Nobody forced anybody to do anything! That's the kind of batshit insane nonsense we're dealing with.

Not to mention any depicition or joking about the series' villains is seen as you endorsing REAL LIFE VILLAINY!! me and my friends are constantly under fire for DARING to enjoy villainous characters or dark content. I feel like I shouldn't even have to say it, but the content that you create and consume doesn't say anything about you as a person. People who are very well adjusted, kind, and happy will engage with dark content for a variety of reasons. Some use it as a coping/healing mechanism, some just find dark content fascinating and worthy of exploration, and some people have dark fantasies. This fandom behaves as if the things you make and consume are examples of what you consider "healthy" and things that you want to do to real life people. It's INCONCEIVABLE to them that you could enjoy something in fiction and not endorse it in real life. INCONCEIVABLE!!

Aside from the irony of people claiming to battle against toxicity screaming violent insults at real life people over fictional characters, this is very very funny. Those of us that have been in the rarepair trenches in other fandoms can't help but laugh at these grown ass women losing their minds because somebody drew a blonde man. The culmination of this has been the runners of Elain Week refusing to even SEE characters they don't like. The visage of Tamlin will shatter their fragile minds and send them to their early graves. And this isn't even TOUCHING how their standard for which characters are Acceptable and which ones aren't is almost solely decided by what the author has explicitly stated and not based on any critical thinking or analysis.

The sheer and utter absurdity of this fandom in particular being SO hung up on canon should be studied. SJM is such a poor writer that she contradicts canon within the same book. I am firmly convinced that nobody actually reads her novels all the way through before they are published. This canon is bad. Which is why it's so baffling that this fandom in particular is so obsessed with canon and what the author has stated both within the books and in interviews. SJM says this character is bad, and so they are BAD!!! This character is good, and so they are GOOD. Oftentimes if you see people try to tear down Tamlin, they'll bring up SJM saying that he's abusive in interviews, talking about how she doesn't like him, and bringing up that she put a hotline for abuse survivors in the back of one of the books. SJM has said that he's an abuser, and so therefore he IS, and there is no further investigation.

Again, a kindergarden concept I didn't think I'd have to explain to a bunch of grown adults on the internet, but a creator's intention is not the end all be all of discussion. It's certainly a part of the analysis, but it is also up to the reader to determine if the author has convinced you of the story they're trying to tell. For example, the creator Joss Whedon clearly created Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be a feminist, empowering show for women. However, the viewer can watch the show and point out areas where he failed in this intention and allowed misogyny, racism, and homophobia to seep into his works. Imagine if every time you tried to criticize a "feminist" show made by a man, the fans screamed at you that the creator said it's feminist, and so therefore it is, and that's the end of that.

This is PARTICULARLY galling with SJM's villains. A lot of them are just...not written well, or convincingly, or realistically. BUT a lot of them are sexual predators, and so any discussion about them and their character is cut off at the source. SJM tells you that these people are BAD GUYS and you have to accept it, otherwise you're defending r*pists. It's especially hilarious because a lot of her "good" guys also commit many horrible acts. Part of the hilarity of the Elain Week nonsense is that the man that the creators ship Elain with, Azriel, is a PROFESSIONAL TORTURER. But SJM says he's good and sympathetic, so therefore, he is. And it's an entirely different essay to go into how SJM portrays her female villains, and I got Cancelled for it last time I tried so NO YOU CANT MAKE ME!!!

Lastly, I'll mention the bloated victim complex of people that like popular things. Again, not unique to ACOTAR fandom, but certainly very prevalent. The people who are in the majority NEED to feel like they're the underdog, fighting the good fight. Hence having the people who like one of the MAIN CHARACTERS and one of the Top 5 Most Popular Ships acting like they are Jesus on the cross for shipping Elain and Bland Dude #4. They work themselves into a paranoid frenzy, feeling attacked at every twist and turn. I would bet my LIFE that the people that run Elain Week have never even seen Beron/Elain content, let alone had it submitted to their event. But they got themselves all worked up about the Evil Tamlin Cabal RUINING THE EVENT that they made these rules that are simply ridiculous. And it backfired on them. Me and my friends have been accused of ruining other character weeks for making content for ships that WE like but the moderators don't. They'll see one single Rhysand/Tamlin drawing and act like you've fucking shot them. They genuinely feel like nobody likes Feyre or Rhysand, the most popular characters, and everyone supports Tamlin. It's insane and they need to get offline. I've seen people wearing Night Court merch in real life. Trust me, you won. You are not the victim.

[pikahlua]

Look, it's probably still not time to go really deep into it, but I did mention there are ways this ending where Tomura dies could work for me. Honestly I didn't have much of an issue with chapter 423 itself before the internet's emotional onslaught over it, but now that I'm hearing rumors the chapter was received well in Japan and a number of western fans have decided to couch all their disappointment in racism and rage at the target readership, maybe I should give some cursory thoughts just to counteract the stupid.

The Bittersweet Ending

Here's the thing. For all the game the bird app likes to talk about how MHA is happy and kid-friendly and not dark and that's bad somehow, it's kind of funny to me how little MHA actually meets expectations in that regard. If I were to divide MHA arcs into categories based on their endings, I would probably have to put the majority of them into the "makes me cry" category. Even arcs where the hero wins with ostensibly happy endings often have absolutely gut-wrenching moments, like All Might's retirement in the Kamino arc, Tsuyu's apology in the UA Dorm Contest arc, and Nighteye's death in the Overhaul arc. I don't think it's possible for me to watch the Sports Festival arc and come out of it with anything but mixed feelings of hope and haunting. Stain may have lost his battle, but his effect on society sure seems to give him the win when it comes to the war. The Paranormal Liberation War arc has a pretty rough ending where there may still be a sliver of hope, but goodness is it a small one.

Sure, some of the teariest moments are a result of happy scenes like Eri smiling for the first time at the cultural festival, but what I'm getting at is that MHA tends to go for more hopeful endings rather than happy ones. And those hopeful endings are often stained by some other tragedy, a price to pay for the hope. Just because MHA isn't full of random death doesn't mean it doesn't contain poignant loss. This was one of its early selling points in fact. MHA's most hopeful moments have always felt so real because the story acknowledges that these things should often play out messily. We've seen the mess, and now chapter 424 has given us a glimmer of hope. The question is now where the story will take us from here.

The Anticlimax

This post has come back for me in the most unexpected way, not gonna lie.

I often hear “anticlimax/anticlimactic” used as a negative criticism, especially colloquially. This criticism assumes an anticlimax is always written unintentionally. But that’s often not the case; anticlimax is actually fucking fantastic when placed in the right hands. And Kohei Horikoshi is a goddamn anticlimax connoisseur. I say he’s a connoisseur because Horikoshi has the gall, nay, the gumption–dare I say the balls to showcase the versatility of anticlimax as a storytelling technique for more than just comedy (although he does also use it for comedy a lot). He dares to use it in action scenes, horror/thriller scenes, and even fuzzy heartfelt scenes, all to the great effect of toying with our emotions. And he successfully has us feel exactly what he wants us to every time–because that’s the point. These aren’t cheap jokes; they serve a purpose! They illustrate an actual, meaningful point about whatever scenario they are used in to make the story more realistic, to combat the fridge logic “well actually” complaints endemic to fandom. Because Horikoshi is a fan himself.

When I write "realistic," I don't mean to apply this quote here to indicate that death (especially for edgy aesthetics) is realistic. I mean to indicate that imperfection is realistic. Izuku isn't a perfect hero. Tomura isn't a perfect victim, and by victim I mean "character for the hero to save." Izuku says it himself:

A perfect victim for the hero to save would yield to the hero's attempts to turn and save them. They would see the wisdom in the hero's position and 100% change sides to agree with them. Trite.

Doing this runs the risk of erasing the victim's identity that comes before. Izuku never has a perfect answer to all of Tomura's problems with the world.

Izuku is the same as All Might. He's only human.

[...]Horikoshi has no compunctions using anticlimax in big, important, non-humorous scenes (even if the anticlimax ultimately adds humor to the scene that was otherwise unexpected). This man has no fear. He ends his famously popular take on the tried and true trope of tournament arcs with one big let-down that affects not just the audience but the in-universe characters. [...] You wanna tell me Horikoshi didn’t know exactly what he was doing here? You wanna tell me Horikoshi didn’t know about the fandom war over Katsuki’s hero name? That he didn’t purposefully fucking troll the fandom with this? That this isn’t the single greatest brick joke in the history of published media for its effect both in the canon and in the meta? Fuck you, we’re building up the tension around the most wildly popular character’s hero name reveal for 248 goddamn chapters (that’s five-and-a-half years) just to make it the cringiest fucking thing you’ve ever heard in your goddamn life. His hero name must be the closest audio rendition anyone can imagine shaped like a middle finger and fucking nothing less will suffice. Congratulations, fandom: you played yourselves! You made a war no one could win! Horikoshi could have chosen Ground Zero or Kacchan as Katsuki’s hero name and risked alienating half his fandom either way, but you didn’t realize there was a third option, which of course he took: to risk alienating the entire fucking fandom.

I'm just saying, an ending like this isn't out of character for Horikoshi. In light of this trip down memory lane and Izuku's parallel with All Might in that they acknowledge they cannot save everyone, I'm interested to see what Horikoshi does with this ending whether or not Tomura survives. What sort of hope will he offer?

The extended ending arc

The only real extended ending arc we've had in MHA that might give us a glimpse at the inner workings of Horikoshi's mind is the School Cultural Festival arc. Because of that (and the many other things I've mentioned before this post), I will say there is cause to believe we will have a hopeful ending. Again, I don't know what that looks like. A lot of people seem to have a specific thing they need to have happen to save the story for them, and I cannot speak to those.

Except for Deku vs Kacchan 3, which is what I need to have happen lol. And god does it seem really fucking possible now.

[la-pheacienne]

Continuing my post about Jaime and Rhaegar’s respective roles in the sack of KL, let’s talk about Jaime and Rhaegar’s last conversation which I didn’t mention in that post and it deserves its own analysis. I find it extremely funny how both (some) Lannister stans and (some) Targ stans seem to think that the last convo between Rhaegar and Jaime was actually like this :

"Jaime, a sack is about to happen very soon. Elia and my kids are in a high risk of getting brutally murdered inside the very capital by the orders of your father who has ghosted us for some time but is deep down an enemy planning all of this in secret. Meanwhile, my father is planning to blow up the entire city any minute now because reasons. I’m leaving you here, alone, to take care of all this and keep all these people, my wife, two kids, father and the people of the city, safe from harm. If you fail to do any of that at any point, you’re incompetent, a traitor and a coward. Now I have to leave to do my thing with the others, don’t forget your duty and your vows, bye".

While it was actually like this :

"Jaime, there’s a war, we are in a pretty tight position and I gotta go to battle taking some men with me. Unfortunately my father wants to keep you close because he believes Tywin will not turn against him this way, and he’s kind of insane so there is nothing we can do about it without risking an even bigger outburst. Give me some time to get out of this mess, and then I’ll come back and we’ll fix this. All this will be over soon, bye".

So the first reading of Jaime and Rhaegar’s last convo completely misses the mark in many ways.

Some Lannister stans are screaming crying throwing up that Rhaegar left a literal cHiLD with all tHiS rEsPoNSIbILIty he doesn’t give a FUCK about anyone how dare he what kind of tHOUGhT PrOCesS is that !!!! Some Targ stans say that Rhaegar gave specific orders to Jaime to protect his father, wife, kids and city against multiple and opposite threats and thus honor his vows, and Jaime failing to do that means he is basically a traitor and a coward. And incompetent.

None of this is correct, because this isn’t what Rhaegar asked him to do, at all. Rhaegar did not know, could not know, could not possibly conceive or imagine or suspect that a sack was about to happen at the orders of Tywin no less and that his family was in immediate danger in.the.very.capital. Nobody.knew. That is why this sack is so horrifying. Also he may have been well aware that his father was insane but not to the point that he could expect him to literally want to blow up his own city. That is a whole other level of insanity he very legitimately didn’t expect. Thirdly, Rhaegar had no power to take Jaime or his family away at this point (« I dare not » is not an epheumism. He literally dares not. We’re talking about Aerys here).

All he asked Jaime to do is wait for Rhaegar to come back and in the meantime try to keep his father at bay. That.is.literally.it. Rhaegar said : « Give me some time, I’ll come back and fix this » And Jaime did wait and he did hope that Rhaegar would come back, but Rhaegar didn’t come back not because he decided to go on vacation with his new chick but because he got killed. Nothing went according to plan, and Jaime had to take matters in his own hands.

So :

Rhaegar did not leave """""all that responsibility""""" to a """"literal child"""".  He left his father the king with the one member of the Kingsguard the king specifically wanted with him, and he told that member of the Kingsguard to literally, wait it out and be a KG. Apart from the fact that Rhaegar couldn’t take Jaime away because Aerys wanted him there, Jaime was not a random child, he was a member of the KG. Him staying with Aerys is technically what he was supposed to do as a member of the KG anyway, there is nothing abnormal or particularly stupid or outrageous or naive in this """"thought process"""", despite Jaime’s age. That order seemed both inevitable (it was Aerys’ order) and reasonable (Jaime was a KINGSguard after all), at the time.

Likewise, Rhaegar did not reasonably expect Jaime to go all Superman on both his father and Tywin’s men and save like the entire population of KL including his own family, all by himself. Again, what he actually told Jaime to do was literally wait for him to come back and try to keep his father at bay. He hoped Jaime’s presence would satiate his father until he comes back. That’s all. He did not know that Aerys would want to blow up KL, he did not know what Jaime would be forced to do and he did not expect the sack and the fact that his family would be murdered in the capital. He didn’t entrust Jaime with all these things simply because he wasn’t expecting these things. All these things were definitely not part of """the job""" Rhaegar gave him. Rhaegar’s GHOST saying to Jaime in his dreams "I left my wife and children in your hands" is manifesting Jaime’s guilt for not being able to save the family. It is a ghost in Jaime’s dream. This doesn’t mean that Rhaegar literally expected Jaime to prevent his father from blowing up the city and simultaneously protect his family from an entirely different threat that wasn’t even remotely a possibility then. Jaime failing to do all of the above by himself doesn’t make him a traitor, an incompetent loser or a coward.

The distortion of their actual convo led the entire fandom to engage in a strawman argument ad nauseam. Lannister stans are attacking Rhaegar for leaving "all this responsibility" to Jaime and Targ stans are attacking Jaime for failing to honor this responsibility, while "all this responsibility" was never part of their actual conversation to begin with because none them had the slightest idea of what was about to happen in the first place.

It is such a pity because this last convo between these two men is so tragic and haunting and beautiful, Jaime (grrm) describes his last visual memory of Rhaegar in an unusually poetic manner, and the fact that deep down he is still waiting and hoping for Rhaegar to come back makes me insane. « The day had been windy when he said farewell to Rhaegar, in the yard of the Red Keep. The prince had donned his night-black armor, with the three-headed dragon picked out in rubies on his breastplate ». « So the Prince of Dragonstone mounted up and donned his tall black helm, and rode forth to his doom ». « It is not Aerys I rue, it is Robert ». « I almost mistook you for Aegon the Conqueror ». « How much can a crown be worth when a crow can feast on a king? ». And instead of focusing on that and the symbolism of it all and that fact that it’s literally foreshadowing Dany’s or Jon’s « return » and their meeting with Jaime (Rhaegar will come back in the end in some form or another, all hope is not lost) we’re reiterating bad takes about a supposed conflict between them ad infinitum. It is boring, reductive and uninspired.

Be serious, read the text and stop spreading misinformation about either side. This is not a football game. We all love a fandom fight occasionally but it is important to actually engage with the themes of the story from time to time.

[9mysterybook6]

TO @rhyliethelovelycaterfly

HOW DARE YOU

You are a shame

first: You didn't ask MY permission if you were going to use my video.

And if you did, I would have rejected you immediately

I made This video to support my friend in their time of need.

BUT You decided to do YOUR dirty edit ON MY video

You could have replied without using anything of mine.

Someone said about you that have a habit of taking advantage of people's interests, trying to copy them in order to get people to stay with YOU.

If you think this will bring you closer or change my opinion of you.

YOU just added fuel to the fire.

Guys check this out!

Oh no Guys, did you read the part?

(I am a winner for every minors.This is the first gacha rant About Rhylie caterfly Who Is Actually A hero For Everyone.)

We are talking about real life AND NOT hazbin hotel

Rhylie You are so delusional

Your condition is worse than I thought

Guys, Rhylie words don't make sense.

Come on guys, is there a sane person who would say this?:

(My behaviors makes everyone happy and healthy, they know I've been taking a shower all day everyday.)

It doesn't matter if others know if you take a shower or not Because This has nothing to do with the topic at all.

Rhylie are really a very sick person

I'm losing my brain cells from this bug cell Rhylie

Rhylie YOU just copied my words and twisted For your benefit

Rhylie You are creep

You are really a disgusting person Rhylie

Crazy laugh

You just prove my words

Didn't I tell you any reaction from you proves my words?

You lost, I won

And I said before that you should leave me alone And stop mentioning my name in your blog BUT you didn't

This proves that you stalking people Even when they asked you to stop

I am not your friend and I don't want YOU to mention my name in Your rotten blog

Rhylie You are a coward and When your true colors are revealed

You started saying meaningless things Just a failed attempt at defending yourself.

and What about this?

I'm sick of this drama that I am having

I beg your pardon

You are the one who continued the drama From the beginning

You don't stop posting about drama.

Are you living a lie?

((And always give trust and believe me instead and Do talk to me and go to rhylie page, RhylieTheLovelyCaterfly Is Always Be A Heroine, A Winner And Always Can Deseeve deserve this effort and your attention And Everyone Loves Me That I Am Not Manipulative or Reliant or Even Toxic Person.))

This is Rhylie is living in her imagination

This was the worst defensive response I have ever seen in my life.

We don't do a roleplay hazbin hotel

At least tell us some facts here instead of empty talk

All this proves everything about you

You are really a very sick person

Didn't I tell you not to blame anyone?

You are really a coward if you persist in blaming: prometheus2007

You are a suspicious person What about your Angelic Kitty community

I fear for everyone's safetyin from YOUR community

Do you think you are some kind of god?

I fear that you will do A type of roleplay For control Others without knowing your truth on your community

Are you trying to do cult where you are in control like Bella the wolf and Meowbah

I mean guys look at Rhylie page and her words

There are a lot of red flags ON HER BLOG

Have you seen its Rhylie rules ON HER community

Rule Number 1: Do Not Block Me Number 2: Do Not Cut Ties With Me

THis is the Others decision if they want to Block YOU Rhylie OR NOT

And also their decision if they want to cut ties with you

Rule Number 4: Do Not Denied My Apology

All your apologies are false and fake

You know what's funny?

Rule Number 13: Do Not Steal My Arts

You stole my art My video is considered artistic

Rule Number 14: Do Not Hate Me Rule Number 15: Do Not Kick Me Out Rule Number 16: Do Not Ignore Me

You are such a controlling person Rhylie

I'm laughing like crazy Because Whatever your response to this will be It will be worse

After all this Are you trying to deny your truth?

Do you think we are fools or were born yesterday?

It's over Rhylie

you lost Because of your response

Because unlike you, I said the facts And the truth And logic

We won

NOW everyone knows your true self

[enzoarweq]

(im talking about the characters q!, not the cc!)

imo no one else seems to understand the landduo/foolhalo relationship is much much deeper than "he's a friend who annoys me and i love to annoy him" or "they are secretly in love" in fact i might be as bold as to say NO ONE does till this day. which is pretty funny how they understand and notice the littlest things about each other but no one can see their deep bond despite that... tho to be fair Bad has said multiple times that he praises Foolish till high heaven from his skills, smarts, to his good looks but he would never ever admit it or say it to his face. (he RARELY does actually so when it happens, we all cheer and die) same for foolish.

Jaiden, who is probably one of the closest to Foolish rn said recently no one else takes Foolish srsly or that they are like outcasts of the island or that no one cares for Leo (para). and im like um theres literally Bad who cares a lot for Foolish and Leo. and has said multiple times that he is much more intelligent than ppl have granted him to be (but ofc she doesn't know, she doesn't know the early moments where they would hang out together almost all the time, constant banter, she doesn't know of THE convo where Bad literally for his advice and was treating and talking to him like two gamemasters in equal footing talking about the games they will play, she doesn't know should anything happen to Bad, he left Dapper in Foolish's care, Foolish constantly leaves Leo in Bad's care, she doesn't know that Leo loves and adores his Tio Bad, she doesn't know a lot of their "true hidden" relationship/sides, she doesn't know how easy Foolish can read Bad like an open book like that mine roulette game which i think she participated but not when both bad and foolish were playing iirc etc etc) not to mention theres also Roier who cares a lot for Leo and vice versa and constantly thinks about her (but this post about foolhalo so i digress)

There was also that moment with Bagi and Tubbo where they were like go ahead and cage Foolish or smtg. like daring Bad to do it. Bad was like aww thats no fun, its boring (cuz yk theres no song and dance, theres no arguing back n forth, it was just that). so when foolish shows up and bad was like hey could u step in ig *shrugs* Foolish was like urgh ok ig. I still remember Bagi's and Tubbos reaction, they were like mildly surprised. like ok what now. Bagi then said to Foolish, hey Bad is insane. Foolish then replied, yeah i fcking knew that already (in a so what tone) and again, Bagi seemed slightly taken aback. Tubbo then went on a rant about them being in love or smtg idk.

or the time when Bad would make a torture chamber for Foolish which he willingly went along cuz why not. and ppl were making angst about it as if Foolish didn't just walk into the torture chamber willingly to play a fun torture game with Bad smh.

also the time when Foolish was hiding his hurt over Leo's absence but Bad knew deep inside he feels deeply. that time where Foolish will run away from everyone else when confronted about his feelings but finally stood silently besides Bad in comfort, instead of a hug. (wasn't Jaiden there for that?)

--

theres soooo many foolhalo landduo moments where so many fans just blatantly ignore, like they have selective memory. genuinely confuses me everytime, like are we even watching the same POV.

theres also a lot of moments where ppl were gen mad at bad for the pranks n shit, like its 2023 ppl, we've been thru with this already in dsmp, do better pls. (ik them be new fans but still urgh)

[1nconcievable]

A rant on Carmen Sandiego's S1 E1 Cold Open (Spoilers)

A cold open refers to jumping into a story before opening credits or title

Another analysis rant! This time where it all began. So I know a lot of people have praised the first 2 pilot episodes but I like to put my own take on why the show's cold open worked so well (In my opinion).

According to the internet, a cold open needs to:

Engage the Audience Quickly: It should immediately capture interest, whether through humor, drama, action, or suspense.

Set the Tone: It establishes the emotional or thematic mood for the rest of the episode or film (e.g., funny, intense, mysterious).

Introduce Key Themes or Plotlines: Sometimes, a cold open hints at a story arc or central conflict that will unfold, but it should never give away too much.

Provide a Hook: Leave the audience wanting to see what happens next. It can either resolve quickly or leave a lingering question.

Be Short and Sweet: A cold open is typically brief, setting up just enough to intrigue without overloading the audience.

Here's how I think they did it:

The show starts by showing off its art style throughout the cold open which hooks art enthusiasts. Some of the more visual stunning shots used in reviews I've seen can be traced to this episode.

It introduces the plot of Carmen being a master thief chased by the police without giving away too much more. This is done from descriptions from Jules and Devineaux and brief images of Carmen which make her reveal all the more stunning.

It hooks older audiences given that it makes references to her previous incarnations such as the fact that she "leaves clues and wears bold colors".

The introduction of the characters are also very well done:

Chase is presented as an overconfident "professional" from how he says "the game is over" and how he talks down to Jules.

Jules is presented as a soft spoken, intelligent "amateur" based on the fact that she's only been at Interpol "for a fortnight" and her small info history dump about Poitiers... (That is not an attack - I genuinely like history facts I SWEAR!)

Carmen is presented as a suave, cultured and (dare I say) attractive thief in the first shot she is introduced in. Her introduction still gives me chills with the way the camera moves and the music builds up.

5. The cold open sets the tone which balances the action and humor. This can be seen in the chase between Devineax and Carmen.

Alright here is the part where I rant and try to analyse the opening (feel free to add your analysis as well)

As mentioned earlier, Carmen's introduction is just perfect... and probably gave some people gay awakenings... from what I've heard.

When she's robbing the museum, we see how deadly her job is... yet fun!

Chase's quote of " Why must the elevator date back two centuries? WAS NO ONE EVER IN A HURRY BACK THEN!?!?" not only gives insight into his rush before thinking personality but also is one of the funniest line deliveries in the show and is underrated.

Just as Carmen is about to steal the diamond, she is caught off guard by her dolls. On first watch the viewer is drawn in by its mystery but on rewatch, knowing her backstory - I realised the shots used for her dolls and the diamond might have symbolism.

The diamond is bright and obvious which might make the viewer take as her target and overall goal.

The dolls however are in the dark - first time viewer would take it as mystery. Once you know her dolls are her connection to her past, the dolls in the shadows could represent how Carmen was "in the dark" about her past. She didn't know anything about her dad or deeper connection to VILE.

The chase scene between Carmen and Devineaux does a good job at further establishing characters and tone of the show. Throughout the chase, Carmen is presented as experienced and swift yet likes to taunt her enemies while Chase is shown as determined and... well, less experienced when it comes to super thieves.

The chase scene also uses music, which can be seen in depending who the camera is focused on, to present characters (any music professionals - please help. I am not one):

Carmen - quite elegant with plucky melody presenting accuracy and experience.

Chase - Sounds deep. Maybe a little saxophone and deep bass? Presents grit?

The chase ends with Carmen's "Au revoir" highlighting her taunting and being cultured. It also ends with Devineaux falling to his car - setting off my favorite running gag of car destruction and reminding the viewers that this show has cartoon logic.

I was writing an analysis on the entire 2 episode pilot at one point but I got busy. I tried getting back into it only to realise the work load. So I decided to take what I've got for the opening. Do with that as you will.

Do I think the opening is perfect? Well yes but actually no - I'm aware there are flaws. Please point them out.

Did I write this at night? Yes. Hence sloppy writing.

Did I forget to greet you happy New Year? Actually yeah... HAPPY NEW YEAR! And remember to always protect the face!

[springtrappd]

thoughts on dsaf?

oooooooooooo i hope you're ready, because could talk about this for a while

it's a difficult series for me to articulate my thoughts about, despite having hyperfixated on it for a good few months of 2022, because... well, it's dsaf. it's the funny haha meme game that also features body horror so disturbing i feel uncomfortable even talking about the phone guys without giving a fair warning. they're visual novels made in fucking rpgmaker that use and abuse their medium to the fullest, packed to the brim with countless jokes that only get funny the more you think about them. it accidentally landed on several ideas similar to those later in the franchise and executes them in a way that is uniquely itself. it's also got several outright racist jokes and phrases in it, relies heavily on memes & pop culture references that were dated when it came out, and is incredibly nsfw -- all things that make it tough to talk about, and very tough to recommend.

it's easy for me, a white australian, to accept these flaws and move past them, but it makes it an inherently hostile experience for anyone who doesn't have the privilege of being actually affected by that shit. it doesn't impact me directly when a fangame slips in a joke about crime rates in america, but to an african-american person that's a big slap in the face! and that sucks, and i think it's very important to acknowledge that even as -- and especially when -- we praise the series for what it does right. liking dsaf doesn't make you a bad person, nor does it make you inherently racist, but dsaf is racist, and it's only in acknowledging that fact that we can learn from & avoid the same fate ourselves. this is something that will always hang over the series, and it should.

in terms of things it does right, though? as i've said before, a lot of the (non-racist, which is the majority of) jokes are really fucking good. i've been meaning to do a replay so i can collect the best of them, because god are there so many gems in there. i think one of my favourite moments playing blind was the one when i realised that jack always exits buildings by climbing out the window rather than just... use the door. it's got a lot of subtle jokes like that that're my exact sense of humour, and it's when it's doing shit like that that it's at its best.

it's also shockingly mature for what began as a satire of the fnaf fandom from 2014-2016, and the ways it remixed the main series' concepts & themes rewrote my fucking brain chemistry. using "he always comes back" to represent how someone (jack) will always be there to care about those lost? actually genius, i think about it so much when it comes to (c/f)anon's take on michael. everything about the phone guys is horrifying and i love it, i love the way it's set up and 2's slow-building wrongness and the storytime about the originals you get in 3. it's such biting corporate satire and i love it, fantastic take on it 10/10 no notes. henry is terrifying, like actually his voice is so uncomfortable to listen to and the way his scenes are lit doesn't help -- just a really good ultimate villain/antagonist, and a good contrast to dave's wacky cartoon antics. i like how it's implied that the reason the dsafverse is so fucked is because he broke it (reality) back in the 50s. it's neat!

there is so, so much love put into these games it's unreal. have i mentioned that they're fucking visual novels made in rpgmaker? because they're visual novels made in rpgmaker. there are TWENTY-THREE ENDINGS in dsaf2 alone, with two "main" routes that both feature some of the best writing i've seen in a fnaf fanwork ever. phone guy's takedown of jack in the evil route is more scathing than the novels have ever dared to be, and does much more to convey the depths of the depravity that's occurred here because of it. i've had a post about how the game uses colours to convey character alignment fermenting in the back of my brain ever since i started 3, and primary barrier to me doing that is just how much shit is in these things! and, well... it's dsaf -- not only does it feel kinda weird to take seriously, it's also a fanbase i kinda want ten feet away from me at all times?

no offence to you guys, it's just not my scene, lmao. the aforementioned memespam and edgelord attitude combine to make a fanbase that skews young and immature, and a result the atmosphere is... kinda insufferable! general fnafdom is also bad, don't get me wrong, but at least you can filter out most of the twelvies by using big enough words. while i do appreciate davesport and think it's great, i'm not a guy who's into stuff for ships, and i like these games for......... all the reasons mentioned above, which just happen to include davesport, not because of it, ykwim? instead i'm the kinda guy who had dave's "you were lost, but now you have been found" line from 3 haunt him for over a year before it finally hit me that it was a fucking bible quote. to quote myself at the time:

in conclusion,

[rpmemesbyarat]

Unsympathetic Evil Done Right

“You’re not gonna shoot a puppy, are ya Jack?!” “Yeah, in the face, why?” NOTE: NO SPOILERS! SPOILER FREE! A lot has been written about how to make nuanced, noble, and/or sympathetic villains done right. I think I’ve probably written about that too, pretty sure I have. But today I’m going to cover the equal and opposite quandary: How to make a purely evil, unsympathetic villain who knowingly delights in being evil, but not have them be one-note or boring? I think Big Jack Horner in “Puss In Boots: The Last Wish” is a really good example, and he’s from a piece of media that is recent and popular enough that most people will know who he is, he’s not some obscure reference. That said, none of this contains any spoilers for the film, so if you haven’t see it, you’re safe, read on—if you DARE! I think there are a few things that make Jack really work. Firstly, he’s fun to watch while also being scary. He’s both hilarious and threatening, hitting that incredibly difficult sweet spot of being both comedic and a legitimate threat. It’s very difficult for bad guys to be both funny AND scary, since making something funny typically takes away its power to frighten us. But when a bad guy can do both, they become really fun for the audience. You’re not rooting for them, you don’t think they’re good people, but they’re damn entertaining. And yet, we still fear for the protagonist against them. We may logically know that of course the hero will triumph, especially in a children’s movie, but we have to at least wonder HOW that will happen. Jack’s established as a threat from the start, showing a cruel personality very early AND a vast armory of magical items combined with a task force of workers to help him. Even one of the other antagonists treats him with great caution. He’s still not the most dangerous of the lot (Puss in Boots sports THREE antagonistic people or groups) but you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who didn’t find him the funniest, I bet. Part of Jack’s charm is how much fun he himself is having. He’s clearly just enjoying himself immensely up until the very end. He is ENTHUSIASTIC. He is ALL IN. Being a stoic, serious villain absolutely works better for a lot of bad guys, but these are typically for the ones who veer to the “purely scary” side, not the “scary and funny” side. Jack obviously loves what he does, and what he does happens to be being a bastard a lot. His callous disregard for the lives and wellbeing of everyone, including and especially his own men, is also played to the max for black comedy. Another part of his charm is his self-awareness; Jack very much knows he’s awful, and doesn’t try to disguise it in the slightest, nor does he lament it. There’s no scrap of shame at all, and he in fact mocks a character who thought it might be otherwise. Not only does the movie never ask you to feel sorry for him, he never does either. He does have a backstory to explain his motivations, and I like it because it does make it understandable WHY he wants what he does, it just also doesn’t make him sympathetic in the the slightest because it only serves to play up how callow and entitled that he is. You get an explanation that makes sense, but “making sense” for this character also means “emphasizing that much more what an asshole he is” Note that I do think unsympathetic characters can still have very sympathetic backstories and be done well (one of my fave baddies is like that) but that’s another topic, and not Jack. Finally, he’s not the only villain. As mentioned, there’s three antagonistic parties in this film. Of them, Jack’s the only one who could be called evil. One of the others is just doing his job/fulfilling his natural role and that threatens Puss. The other is competing with Puss & Co for the same goal, and is willing to do harm to the heroes to achieve it, but that goal really isn’t any more selfish or unsympathetic than Puss or Kitty’s own goals, and the character is very much a human being, as are her cohorts (though they’re not human, but you get what I mean!) So, Jack is a comically evil bastard who is evil through and through with no excuse, and he’s awesome and fun enough, but he’s also balanced by more nuanced villains who are really less “villains” and more “obstacles to the protagonist in some way” , one a force of nature, the other someone with a goal they can’t achieve without thwarting Puss’s goal. It is definitely hard to pull off in a movie especially because of the limited time, but I think having multiple types of villains in a single work—especially a series, like a comic book or a television show—really helps with pulling each type off that much better. The noble and sympathetic villains can play off and contrast against the complete monsters, and you don’t need to choose between one or the other. In fact, what tends to irritate me most in a series, is when ALL villains are a single type—they’re all super redeemable tragic misunderstood woobies, or they’re all 2D evil cardboard cutouts who eat babies for kicks, etc. People will debate with each other all day about which is more realistic, but I think what’s most realistic AND most interesting for a reader/viewer/consumer is a nice mixed bag of diverse villains. Diverse here meaning diverse personality, diverse motives, diverse ranks on the ‘terrible person’ scale, etc. Again, this isn’t doable in every work. But I think Big Jack type characters can still work well in a solo role as well. Good examples of this abound in the Disney Renaissance films—Scar, Ursula, Gaston, and Jafar are all the perfect combination of hilariously hammy and seriously scary that Jack taps into. This need not be limited to children’s media either, though I think it does work best there. But enjoyable “pure evil” villains in darker, more adult works can still be done, such as Freddie Krueger, some interpretations of various Batman villains, and, rather subtly, Hannibal Lector. The last one isn’t overtly bombastic, he’s not singing big musical numbers about his evil plans or cracking overt jokes every two seconds (though he comes close with his cannibilism puns in the NBC series), but he does have a wry and dry sense of humor, he’s very witty and cultured, and he’s very intelligent. He’s not funny per se, but it can be really interesting to watch him outwit others and pick them apart. While I’ve mostly focused on humor for what makes a baddy fun to watch because that’s the case with Jack Horner, it’s not the ONLY thing that can make them engaging either. Bringing up my point about “unsympathetic characters can have sympathetic backstories” from earlier too, Hannibal does have a tragic tale behind him, but it’s also undeniable he very much enjoys doing what he does for its own sake. Whether he’s truly unsympathetic or absolutely the reverse is probably more down to opinion, unlike Jack and the others, but personally for me he’s in the “just loves being a horrible person” category, and he’s still very interesting both despite and because of that! Some people will tell you that pure evil characters are automatically boring. I don’t think so. I just think most writers don’t put the effort into making them interesting and engaging to watch. And there are MANY ways to do that!

[pocketramblr]

Naomasa is a traitor working for AFO AU and him and Giran are a thing

hmm something like traitor naomasa or his sugar daddy giran... except something new...

1- Naomasa's father also had a truth-detection quirk, and AfO decided he wanted it. The father attempted to offer Naomasa's instead, then buy time by saying his other child could end up with it, but Naomasa's quirk is limited to activating with eyesight, and AfO wanted to be able to use it over the phone, so no dice. The father vanishes. Naomasa goes looking for him and learns what happens, with a warning to go back home and never tell his mother.

2- But his mother's husband just vanished weeks after she gave birth, and there are bills to pay. Naomasa, young and clever, thinks about his options and about how AfO apparently didn't take his father up on his offer, punish a family or force him to work to pay off the debt. Which means he probably values loyalty and wouldn't be the worst way to get money? probably? So when the kid goes back, AfO knows he's caught him, and tells him he'll pay an allowance for good grades- Naomasa could lend an ear places AfO can't get, but he needs to do well in school to get those places when he's grown up. Naomasa takes the deal, studies hard, etc, and starts as a guileless rookie with an open face and clear and uninteresting as a bit of plain glass.

3- except that is, of course, a facade. it's funny, if you frame your quirk as a truth-detector, people assume you're naturally honest. the fact that it is equally a lie-detector, and he'll have gotten at least a little more insight into every single bit of deceptive he's seen in decades does not seem to catch up to them. Naomasa doesn't ever mention a partner, they think he's simply too focused on the job, or in love with someone as equally plain and nice as him, and keeping personal life away from professional. (absolutely no one would think he'd have started teasing the manager of the villain's intelligence gathering as a dare before it got physical, then emotional. and not just because of the fact that naomasa's gathered some of that intelligence)

4- Naomasa appreciates how Giran wears his masks more naturally than Naomasa does- he's heard Giran introduce himself by a dozen different names, none of them 'real'- but all of them with a shade of truth in what Naomasa sees. His loyalty's far brighter than AfO's, and deeper than what many of their other underlings have for their sensei. Giran appreciates Naomasa's loyalty in return, and finds him amusing. After so many years, they've got a great way of knowing each other without having to say things out loud. Naomasa never asks why Giran agreed to help KD save his daughter, and Giran never asks why Naomasa had All Might ruin Six's plan to save his sister.

5- Naomasa looks so poorly when seen after Kurogiri's arrest because he hasn't heard from Giran in months but can't do much to find out more while on such a high profile case. Not that anyone really knows how to get anything out of kurogiri, so he's not obvious or anything, but he still can't leave. It'd be out of character. Finally, he gets a message- Giran lets him know he's been rescued, going to lay low a bit, heal. Concerned, Naomasa asks how the others are- but Giran says that at least none of them questioned when he said he'd be gone a few days to get something for his hands. at least he's trusted to return, if not treated like one of them anymore. more a loyal dog than a respected colleague. and that's more machia's speed anyway, not Giran's. Naomasa says that's good, and decides that though he's certainly not going to help the heroes find any locations, he isn't going to send a tip about the day the heroes plan to attack either. After all, its not like he technically works for shigaraki anyway. Giran's actually the one who's arranged Naomasa's pay since he graduated, and before that it was one of Ujiko's child minders who got thrown in the nomu soup a few years later. No one in the league is sure where Giran was during the attack at the villa but assume he must have been taken, when they spare a thought for him, and Detective Tsukauchi is missing assumed dead after the battle of Jakku.

[upgradewater]

daima time-ah

blabbering about ep 1!

spoilers obv

btw I blabbered a lot on twxtter about it a lot, so I'm likely gonna repeat myself here.

First of all.

NEW DRAGON BALL SET

NEW STINKY OP NAMEKIAN GRANDPA HACKING EARTH'S DBS LIKE IT'S NOTHING

DESIGNATED DB GUARDIANS NO ONE DARES TO FUCK WITH

NAMEKIANS "OTHER WORLD" ORIGIN LORE DROP FROM THE SUPER MANGA HAD PAYOFF IN LINKING BACK TO THEM BEING FROM THE DEMON REALM, ALONG WITH THE LINK BETWEEN "DEMON KING" PICCOLO AAAAA

was this made for me??? this feels specifically made for me.

And then there's also:

White vs black magic, specifically talking about wishes and what Shenlong won't do

The new DB set is known as Porunga, so I'm really looking forward to the design!!! Porunga OG, the prequel!

Shenlong being hesitant and oddly specific about the age wish and what to do with ones who are already kids, but then deciding for himself who the wish effects. (You could say Chichi stood up to Buu, but 18? Bulma? You could really include everyone who contributed to the genkidama lol)

DEGESU AND GOMAH BEING SILLY and Degesu being related to Shin! And Arinsu is also their sister?!?

That's Kaioshin, Namekian, and DB lore lovers all being fed a feast in this one episode. Upcoming Majin lore with Pansy, I suppose too.

Arinsu potentially could be the first main Big Bad Lady???? And she's pulling the strings from the start???? Amazing.

I think the fact that there is already THIS much (even though it was a slightly longer premiere episode) to talk about just in story and new lore is... Just wow. Who would have thought when Super was at its end that we would be here a few years later with not only story content, but animation QUALITY. Soundtrack quality as well.

I'm so happy to be around for this period of DB. It's so fun. And bittersweet with the timing of Toriyama's sudden (?) death. But so magical.

I don't think I shared this sketch here? Here's my guess at a Super Porunga of sorts.

As a side note, here are some things I guessed correctly from the trailers:

Neva hacking the DBs via auto-summoning

New DB set/new Namekian grandpa (though I thought it might be Zalama) based on the spell in one of the later trailers. (Does this mean the dragon's name is part of the spell? Dorusie? Dorushiē? We'll see. He does say it twice though.)

Other stuff that remains to be seen:

What Arinsu's goals are

What wish does Degesu want? (Surely this will be a silly gag)

What will the other 2 wishes actually be used for?

What the fuck is that Eye item Gomah mentioned? Tenshinhan relevant???

Will they try to go to Namek first, but they'll all be affected too? Please show me tiny Porunga.

Alternatively, it would be funny if Gomah and Degesu hopped along to Namek to summon Porunga for more wishes, and Neva could probably push past the password part. Hence why our main team have no choice but to head to the Demon Realm. The first part likely won't happen as long as they don't find out about the planet though.

Gohan. I have seen discussion about him coming in clutch and having his powers as he's there only one that was in pretty good fighting shape at age 6/7. Please show our boy and tiny Videl.

Okay I'm gonna have to turn my brain off now. But anyway EP 1 stopped at such a great point. I'm so in love with this production and love how positive it has been received. We're so back. I can't wait for Friday.

[bugwolfsstuff]

Wine Child Chp 2

Percy: I don't go on a picnic.

I figured after fighting gods, monsters and titans since I was twelve and fighting in a war, the fates would let me chill out and have a semi-ordinary life for a while. I personally think I deserve some semblance of a vacation.

Unfortunately, the fates seem to disagree with that.

So here I am, instead of being on my way to go out on a nice romantic picnic with my girlfriend, Annabeth (gods, I love saying that); I'm at the archery range staring at Chiron having a casual conversation with the goddess of youth, Hebe about how our camp director, and the god of wine, Mr D ticked her off.

Did I mention that she's holding a very alive-looking, violently squirming gym bag?

"Well, it's a funny story, really." She said, which meant in god language: It was very much not funny, but you better laugh or I vaporize you. "Dio had said some extremely offensive words to me about youth, and I simply couldn't let that slide. So, I decided to teach him a lesson about the value of youth."

She twirled the gym bag in her hand as she talked, pulling it up by the straps and tipping it upside down like a very angry yoyo.

Whatever was in the bag really didn't like that, which to be fair, I'd be pretty cranky if some goddess shoved me in a gym bag and then started playing with the bag like a yoyo.

"What I didn't account for was how whiney he was. So then I thought, hmm, where was the best place where he could learn to appreciate youth? Nowhere else but summer camp!" 

The bag, like me, did not like that idea and started to squirm more violently. I shifted my weight uneasily, my hand instinctively reaching for Riptide. I have a feeling one way or another, that bag was gonna be opened.

I glanced at Annabeth, who also was staring at the bag with piercing grey eyes like she was trying to see through it. Is X-ray vision an Athena power?

Lucky — rather unlucky — for us we didn't have to wait long to find out.

"Welp, I must love you and leave you, demigods!" Hebe said, unzipping the bag and disappearing laughing.

As soon as the bag unzipped, I uncapped Riptide, ready to fight whatever cranky monster tumbled out of it.

Yeah, that did not happen.

Instead of a cranky, snarling monster, a lump of curly, black, untamed hair fell out of the bag and before anyone could react, flung itself at the closest person.

Which happened to be me. Because it's always me. I swear I have a giant sign only visible to monsters and gods that says:

Please attack Percy. We don't like his face.

"No more monsters!" It shrieked, trying to impale me with a sword that was way too big for it. Which, first of all, rude. You're already shrieking and trying to impale me with a sword; you don't need to insult my appearance as well.

I sidestepped out of its way, causing it to stumble as it tried to regain its balance. I had a good look at it now.

It wasn't an it at all.

It was a kid, a little girl that looked no older than 8. She had weirdly familiar purple eyes that looked like they saw something horrifying. The sword she was holding was far too big for her, and she stumbled as she waved the sword at the crowd wildly.

"Get away!" She screamed, stumbling as she swung her sword at an Ares kid who dared get too close. "No more!".

She looked barely 8 years old and downright terrified, and the Ares kids trying to surround her and take the sword weren't helping. In fact, they were making it a lot worse.

Then something worse happened.

The girl caught sight of something, "you!" she yelled, pointing at me before charging. Abandoning her sword on the grass to...run faster. Oh great.

"Hey!" I put my hands up in surrender, "I'm not gonna hurt you!" 

She either didn't hear me or just ignored me and continued charging. "Hey!" I said again, taking a step back as she got in kicking distance....for her to kick me, not the other way around, I'm not kicking the little girl.

Surprisingly, it turned out she wasn't going for me.

I stumbled as she shoved past me with too much strength a child her age should have. 

She headed straight for Will Solace, a son of Apollo and before any of us could react, she delivered a swift kick to his crotch, causing him to double over in pain.

Every guy in the camp simultaneously winced, and there was a chorus of oohs and ouches.

Even as Will doubled over in pain on the floor, the girl wasn't finished. She yelled extremely colourful Greek insults and accusations that didn't make much sense to me.

"You were supposed to protect us! You were supposed to care!" She screamed, pummeling him with her tiny fists.

"Woah! Hey! Calm down!" I yelled, rushing over to pull her off him. I tried my best to hold her back, but it was like trying to wrangle a wildcat. She continued to struggle against me, her eyes blazing with fury as she yelled at Will. 

"You! Kourotrophos! You should have protected us! You should have protected me from her! I prayed for you!" 

I don't know what a Kourotrophos is, but she said it with so much venom I almost expected her to start spitting acid at him. She also put emphasis on her, like it was the worst word she could think of. Which, from the kind of swears she was throwing at him, would have to be horrible.

And what did she mean that she prayed for Will? What did she pray for: 

Dear god of crotch kicking, please guide my foot and make Will Solace wish he was never born.

"Let me go!" she shrieked, clawing at my arms furiously as she tried to escape. Will soon recovered and scrambled away into the crowd.

"No, we're not monsters. We're—ow!" Ever been bitten by a demigod? It freaking hurts, and from the feel of it on my arm; this one had sharp teeth.

Annabeth rushed over, her expression unreadable. "Let him go, Percy!" she said firmly.

Now, if anyone else told me to release the feral screaming, biting, scratching child into a crowd of people after she has already injured one. I would be seriously questioning their mental state. 

But this was Annabeth. And when Annabeth tells you to do something, you do it. No questions asked. She probably had a plan, and if she didn't?

Well, the situation would have been hopeless anyway, and at that point, any idea would have been helpful.

So, I reluctantly put the child down.

She didn't attack, probably all tuckered out from using my arm as a scratching post and a chew toy. Instead, she stumbled, shivering slightly. Annabeth kneeled to her level. Which I personally would not be doing; that kid looked like she'd go for the eyes.

"Monsters!" the kid wailed.

"No." Annabeth promised, using her gentle 'I am completely harmless, and you can trust me' voice. That is usually reserved for young campers and Hades' dog Cerberus that one time. It was always weird hearing Annabeth change so quickly. "It's all right. We're not going to hurt you."

The kid trembled, all the wildness draining out of her. She had dark eyebags under her eyes, a deep cut on her cheek that looked slightly infected, and her limbs were stick thin like she hadn't eaten in days. How the Hades she had enough energy to swing that sword, attack Will, and use me as a chew toy and scratching post, all while screaming her lungs off, was beyond me.

"Monsters?" she whispered, her eyes swivelling to look at the still-growing crowd around us.

I could understand her hesitation. The Mist could even fool demigods like us and make a Chimera look like a Chihuahua (not that Chihuahuas weren't already little monsters), and the fact that she'd been shoved into a bag and then cornered by Ares kids probably wasn't giving her a good first impression of us.

"No, not monsters," Annabeth said, "We're...." She hesitated. The kid might not know what demigods even were. That happened alot. Kids these days clearly never watched Hercules (the Disney show, not the guy). "...Well, it's hard to explain, but we fight monsters just like you."

"You're like me?" The kid asked, still suspicious, but she sounded slightly hopeful, too.

"Yes," I promised, and the kid scowled at me with her big purple eyes. I was slightly afraid she was going to kick me, too. There was something familiar about her scowl, though, like I've seen it before. "Why were you in Hebe's bag?"

Her scowl deepened, but thankfully she didn't kick me, "I don't know. I just woke up."

Maybe that's why she was so murderous; I'd be cranky, too if someone woke me up from a nap by shoving me in a bag and dumping me in a Summer Camp without a word.

In fact, that kinda sounds exactly like something that would happen to me.

"I'm Annabeth, and that's Percy," Annabeth said, "You can trust us. We have a friend, Chiron. He can help you."

Speaking of Chiron, where did he go? He was there when Hebe opened the bag. Did he just go to the Big House to play Pinochle with Mr D and leave us to deal with little Miss Crotch-Kicker on our own?

The little girl nodded, "Okay...I'll go with you."

"So..." I whispered to Annabeth, "Any clue who little Miss Crotch-Kicker is?" I figured if anyone knew who this kid was, it was Annabeth. 

"I have a vague idea, but I need proof first." She replied cryptically

"Wanna share with the class your idea?"

"Not yet."

"You know I can hear you, right?" The kid crossed her arms and scowled at us, keeping her distance at the back of the group. She had been silent the entire walk.

Annabeth and I sheepishly apologized. The last thing we needed was to upset the already untrusting and wild kid.

We walked in awkward silence until we got to the Big House.

Chiron was alone on the porch. Mr D was nowhere in sight. Which was good. Because if I have to listen to his sarcasm while dealing with this situation. I'm setting the kid on him.

The little girl stopped the moment she saw Chiron.

"Kentauros! Monster!" She shrieked, and I was afraid that was her form of a battle cry.

Chiron smiled at her kindly, "Yes, Dionysus, I am a kentauroi, but you have nothing to worry about. I'm not like my brothers."

"What—?" 

Then I saw how tense the kid suddenly got.

'Dio said some extremely offensive words about youth, so I decided to teach him a lesson about the value of youth,' Hebe had said.

That's where I recognized the kid's scowl. That's why her purple eyes were so familiar. That's why Mr D wasn't with Chiron.

This kid was the Wine Dude himself.

"H..how do you know my name?" Dionysus said, already on guard. Which was fair, she—or he? Why was Mr D a girl?

Chiron just smiled at them, "We have a lot to talk about inside." Then he turned to us, "Percy, Annabeth, will you please alert the rest of the head counsellours and tell them there is to be a very important meeting."

Annabeth nodded, frowning, "Come on, Percy."

I sighed and followed her.

I guess we arent going on our picnic any time soon.

-----

Chapter one on tumblr

And thats the last chapter of this I will be posting here. When i post the third chapter it will be going on Ao3

[swimmingferret]

man, House of the Dragon is still such a let down. Like the dragons look cool but I so do not understand so many of the changes they made, especially with making Alicent such a dumb-fuck loser in the show.

And before you go all 'Fire and Blood is written in HEAVY bias so its okay that the show is an au' its established as being heavily pro-Green and Alicent is stated to be a calculating, ruthless woman instead of the abused, spineless under-her-daddys-thumb waif she is in the show. I really wish we would've gotten the Alicent who was the driving force behind the coup, the one who intentionally hid Viserys's death for a week as she specifically ordered servants to only tell her when he passed and helped kill Rhaenyra's supporters and sent Criston to crown Aegon and where the fuck was 'Kingmaker' Criston anyway???? he did jackshit while in the book he was the one who convinced Aegon to steal the crown- its literally his nickname!!! Instead in the show Alicent mis-hears Viserys death ramblings about that dumbfuck prophecy and thinks he means her son Aegon and then later screams at the Green council when they suggest killing Rhaenyra. Like what the fuck did you think a coup meant you stupid moron. She's so idiotic in the show, I really wish HoTD wasn't so scared of putting in scumbag ambitious women- cause a woman can in fact, be an opportunistic piece of shit that Alicent should have been like her bookself was. The same way Rhaenyra was a negligent idiot and hid on Dragonstone for years rather than consolidate her power to take over the realm. Which is sorta funny 'cause they kept that part of Rhaenyra in the show but whitewashed the shit out of Alicent to make her some hapless victim instead of the ruthless schemer who basically blew up the realm because she wanted her blood on the Iron Throne.

Then there was Daeron, who was literally never mentioned in the show. Ya know, Daeron the Daring who was like the only Green dragonrider who wasn't a complete fuckwit and they just somehow never mentioned the fourth of Alicent's kids lol how many peop,e are gonna be like 'who the hell is this' when he shows up.

Also with Blood and Cheese maybe it would be more impactful if we actually saw Heleana's and Aegon's children at one point lol rather than just a few random shots with zero interaction. Like who are these children

And wtf was that stupid scene with Rhaenys in the dragonpit, cause that was so stupid. That moron could have ended the Dance right then and there but didn't for no reason. then again they admitted in behind the scenes that only added it cause it would look cool so...meh

Idk House of the Dragon is pretty lame in my opinion cause of the random time-skips, bad pacing and fucking up Alicent's character so badly. Sometimes a woman is an asshole.