#its almost 2 am i should soooooo go to sleep

[hatekawa]

you are more than the sum of your feelings, kawa

thanks *snoooooooooooooooooore mimimimimimi*

[foursdarkdays]

i like a girl lol

Sooooooooooooo ummm the title of this rant? would be "i like a girl" lmaooo Soooooo yeah theres a girl i kinda like?? its nothing serious tho but yeah i like her ig, she's not really my type tho but idk . She treats me so well i cant help it. i feel things lol. I keep checking my phone every second of the day (just did again) and it sucksssss. She kinda likes me back? atleast thats what she says . but idk i dont think so. The possibility is too narrow but yeah.

She has a boyfriend lol and its not like i care tbh cause its not like i wanna make her cheat on him something i mean she wouldnt and i wouldnt want her to. Also i know this isjust a phase for her and itll go away soon. for her or for me. Yk know i cant like someone for long especially if i dont see a possibilty of us dating. so yeah im gonna go with the flow rn. She told me that she had a crush on me since months tho but again ahh i dont think so. maybe shes overthinking . maybe she just wants to be my friend.

anywayyy soo im just going with the flow. we flirt a lot. we blush a lot. Thta bitch flirts with othets and makes me jealous lmao dumb fuck and i do the same bwahaah. sooooo yeahhhh i know after whatever this thing is ends im gonna be sad af for 2 weeks i think? cause we talk so much and its gonna be lonely. but again im a pro at moving on soooooooooo

7/10/23 (1:51am)

(im gonna keep adding the rants)

and the best thing about this is that i'm very well prepared for the heartbreak so im sure it wont hurt much lol im actually very sure about that. I always expect the worst in these things so its going to be chill. I'm sure shell come out of this phase soon and it will only be a memory for both of us. mostly in a good away tho. I'm not gonna take this too seriously and just have fun. you're flirting? okay ill flirt back. you're treating me well? ill do the same yeah thats it lol

i have a strong gut feeling that this is gonna end soon like 3-4 days? i dont know. lets see

7/10/23 (18:25)

Oh wow soooo it almost ended that day lollll but then yeah we kinda talked it out? Anyways i feel like something changed after that. I think in a good way? The obsession feelings decreased and maybe the good friendship feelings increased? I honestly have no idea and i should probably stop trying to figure it out lol. Anyway now I'm back and i think she doesn't like me anymore. Maybe I'm just over thinking? But lol nvm let's see how it goes

11/10/23 (2:05am)

Lmao bitch read this post. anyways im gonna act like no one knows about this account. Its soooooo scary i know i've told this before but its just really scary. See i have trust in myself that if IF something goes wrong ill move on fast, OKAY WHY AM I OVERTHINKING AGAIN. lets fuck this. SHES SO CUTE IM SO OBSESSED I HATE HER SO MUCH. ITS SO MUCH FUN TALKING TO HER. even though sometimes i really wanna push her off a cliff but its okay. I wanna write so much but im blank again wtf

14/10/23 (01:48am)

Why do i feel like she hates me now. Maybe she'll finally lose feelings. i mean yeah thats okay and understandable but it'll be too sudden so idk. I'm ready for anything at this point . I wanna text her but i guess ill give her space. I'll just distract myself and sleep. She has nooooooo idea about the amount of over thinking im doing rn. im so sure shes done with me and will never see my face again. lemme prepare myself. Thankfully im veryyy tired so ill fall asleep easily.

14/10/23 (9:22 pm)

i randomly have such sudden outbursts of love for this baby. i want to cup her face and kiss her whole face , i want to hug her to my chest and kiss her head and baby the fuck out of her. She's gonna cringe reading this (please dont). I want to like put our foreheads together and close my eyes and feel it yk??? i sound soooooo weird. Please dont be creeped out

15/10/23 (10;02pm)

I like her so much like so so so so so so much. Its very scary and i know for a fact that i will be hurt later but ugh its sooooo worth it. I'm sooooo happy with her. The feelings keep growing and i dont think im gonna let it stop. its okay ill let it grow. yoloooo sooo ahhhhh. We just had a pubg date sksksksk shes soooooooo ahhhhh. She flirts so confidently , i was panicking behind the pubg call sksknjiuck. anywaysssss ugh I want to kiss her sooooooooooooooooo bad like fuckkkkkkkkkk i wanttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!.

20/10/23 (01:13am)

Hiii so idk bro she says she's more obsessed with me but obviously i disagree. I think i really fell harder lol I mean it's scary af but anyways. Idk she can go for hoursssss without talking to me and be fine and me ? Lolllllll I try to text back whenever I can but she doesn't do that. Maybe I'm asking too much. Okay i should chill out fr. I don't wanna depend on anyone lol. I only want fun stuff here even though i know I'm kinda in deep but anyways it'll be okay. I know she's putting a lot of effort i shouldn't complain. I'm getting more than i deserve anyway. And I AM happy af. I just miss her i guess. I sound sooooo stupid. Ugh I hope she doesn't read this

21/10/23 (17:12)

(23/10/23) 1:40am

She didn't text me back today. But I'm gonna be understanding. I don't want to overthink. Not today . There are so many possibilities and i wanna listen to her . I really want to be understanding. Because i genuinely care . I didn't text her back till 2pm due to some valid reasons tho but anyway I feel calm now. I texted in our gc and she seen zoned but maybe she has her reasons . Let's see . I don't want to think about anything. I really hope she's alright .

It's like i want her to text me about her day and all but then I don't want to expect much i don't want her to do zyada also idk she's already treating me nicely and it makes me happy. Its honestly more than enough and I don't want to be greedy.

23/10/23 (19:12)

okay sooo ummm the reality is hitting me these days. I was okay being the side chick but its really hitting me lol. Its not like she makes me feel that way nahhh she shows that she cares. Its just that idk maybe im only stupid. she flirts with others and sends me screenshots and everytime she does that i lose little feelings. Even though she does that for fun idk. If she keeps doing this, i might actually lose feelings lol idk how to tell her that. I dont wanna bicker or anything i dont have the strenght and anyway she'll be like nooo i do it for fun only because im cool. **heavy sigh** nvm . but should i let her know? communication is good yk. i guess ill try tonight. if she doesnt fall asleep. Okay ill tell her that, rest is her wish lol .

oh yeah btw todays our 1 month anniversary???? ehehehehe

okay she fell asleep, shes really sick so i hope she feels better soon.

but anyway i keep feeling stupid lmaoooooo i need to stop feeling this way and accept it. Thats the only way lol

21:23 (30/10/23)

Wah its been long, soooo umm idk we kinda had a disagreement? i honestly dont know what that was but yeah im 1000% sure that it wasnt my fault. i took my time to write and explain everything but nah i guess shes mad at me? ofcourse she is. we didnt talk the whole day and its kinda driving me crazy but im trying to look normal. I wont text her first , not because i have ego or anything but because im not at fault here. She took things a little too far and i got triggered. But again i did explain her everything like why it triggered me and all because i didnt want any misunderstanding. But yeah shes mad at me for that? i honestly dont know what to do. is this the end of us? i dont want it to end like this. I'm not ready but i also wont text first. She needs to own up to her mistakes. I miss her. I miss her so much . please text me ughh .

its okay i guess. this is like a break for us i think i dont know how this will end up

22:56(7/11/23)

lmao i got on with a lot of thoughts in my head but as usual im black again. sooo i cant stop thinking about her and its scaring the shit out of me. Atp im pushing myself to go out with friends and family just to divert myself from thinking about her lmaooo yeah its that bad. The worst part is even k-pop idols are not helping me this time. Its always her on my mind. But ill try my best to distract myself because i feel very one sided. Its prolly not but kinda is . idk. But i'm also behaving the same way with her ig? i talk about idols and behave like they're the only ones on my mind when its absolutely false. I'm sure its not the same for her tho. she really isnt that whipped for me lol. and thats okay. ill keep trying to calm myself down . BUTTT the more i try the more i think. What do i do?

05:36am (17/11/2023)

we had a talk yesterday and it hit a nerve, It hit a wrong spot and now idk what i feel anymore. It was hurting. My heart felt like it would explode. I felt too much that i dont feel it now. No i'm not over her. It'll take time for sure but something snapped for sure. I'm taking a break today, from her. I need to analyze my feelings and emotions and think. I need to be ready for whatever is about to come. and i will be, Im strong and i can do it.

I never spoke about this or wrote it here but i think i should now. I need to analyze my feelings and write it out. I like her. i like her a lot. It was all happy happy at first, just us flirting. It wasnt that serious. But it did get serious later. A lot of feelings got involved. I know i know that she has a boyfriend and that i am a second option. I know its genuine and she really likes me. But i sometimes i wish the other way around. Everytime she mentions her boyfriend, its like a stab in my heart and reality hits me. I get distant for a bit. idk if she notices. its not her fault tho, I cant talk to people about this because i know what they're gonna say. "its all your fault, you knew she was taken but you still chased her. its all on you. you"re stupid for even hoping or wanting something from a straight taken woman" oh dont even get me started on how much it hurts when she tells me shes straight. Its gives me mixed signals. she says she wants to kiss me, hold me and do things with me and then she says shes straight. see i know sexuality is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of time and courage and thinking to come to a conclusion and tbh its okay even if she doesnt, but i cant stop my feelings and my overthinking. what if she doesnt really like me and its really just a phase shes going through. because im confident about the way i feel. i like women, i like her, romantically , emotionally and sexually.

i want her. i want her so bad even if its for a month, i want to experience how it feels like to be in a real relationship with her but i know its impossible. Like that equation doesnt even exist.

yesterday night, when she told me she loved me. i couldnt say it back. I didnt have enough energy to feel things because my heart was already hurting. Thats why im taking a break from her today, Her calling me baby , princess and whatever cute things she does , its making me feel guilty. She shouldnt do those things for me, but i want it . i dont know what im typing honeslty. i just want her so bad but i know i shouldnt. i NEED to tone down now . from my side, ill take the love shes giving me, also reciprocate. but not more than that because even i feel guilty and shes going through things because of me, she says its worth it but is it? i know that one day both of us will move on from this. I'm pretty sure we're gonna think about this and laugh but right now i want her, But i also dont , But i do. lol.

14:04 (21/11/23)

Hi, lol. I feel so much for her. like so so so so much. what we have is so precious and important to me. i dont want to let her go. As a girlfriend, yeah i guess one day we'll have to part, but as a friend? i dont want to lose her. I may sound greedy but along with her girlfriend(idk what we are but lets pretend im her girlfriend) right now, i also want to be her second best friend. Is it too much to ask ? i mean i guess it is. It hasnt been that long but our emotional bond is too strong and idk if ill ever find it anywhere else. Even if i dooo ugh idk i just want her for a long time. Even after we break up and take our time off, i want her to talk to me. This may sound selfish but yeah. I still want her to come nag to me, complain about things and share her problems, emotions etc. Relationship issues, marital issues, friendship issues, work related issues, family issues, financial issue etc like literally anyyything. I want her to feel comfy with me, I will never force her tho. I just hope things turn out this way instead of us completely falling apart. Because if it breaks , im sure itll take more than 2 years for me to open up tp anyone again. After my last ex best friend , i really shut myself off and it was lonely. I do have friends and i know they are always there for me but i cant open up to them. emotionally. But with her i can. So i want her , need her for a long time. We may drift . life is unpredictable and people change so its okay but i hope both of us try our best. I know she said she ignores and ghosts her close friends when she feels something is off and then they drift apart but i want her to really try for us. Idk if it will be worth it for her but i want her to try because i know i will. unless she wants otherwise. lol why am i having such emotions today? this is the first time im feeling this way. with us i mean. okay ill stop now.

26/11/23 22:30

I think I'm in love lol idk I tried so much to not be 'in' love and to just love her but I think I failed at it. I'm even scared to admit it to myself because I'm a coward. I still don't want to admit it to myself. I love her so much . I feel so stupid for loving someone who loves someone else. I was never like this. What is wrong with me? Idk but can it be helped? No. I know I'll move on in the future and everything will fall into place but right now ugh i love her and I feel stupid af. Like really really stupid. I'm never telling this to anyone tho. They'll make fun of me lol. They won't understand. I myself don't understand anything. I'm giving away so much of myself and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get it back like after we break up. Anyways I hope she gets well soon. She must be in a lot of pain. It hurts to even think that she might be in pain ughhhh stupid**inserts my name* get it together.

Come back soon . I feel like a zombie without you

Lol I just looked at my instgram activity and was wondering why I had spent 4 hours on Instagram yesterday when we didn't even talk. Then I realised that we did. It has only been a day but it feels like weeks? Wtf? What is going on with me. I'm scared I'm so so scared.

28/11/23 (23:43)

Happy 2 months to us lol sksksk anyways I didn't miss her yesterday. Probably because I was dealing with my own shit . Doesn't mean I like her any less. I still care . I hope she feels better soon

30/11/23 (00:19)

I googled the recovery rate and the death rate of dengue and I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I'm crying too much because I'm sick . I cry a lot when I fever like it heightens whatever I feel and now I'm worried about everything. Myself , her ahhh.

This is way too scary. New fear unlocked. I don't wanna say it but ugh just the thought of your loved one not being there hurts lol. I think I'll never move on from it. Never. So dear universe or whoever is listening to me , you've been mean to me these days , there are only 2 things that I want the most right now. The most. And I'll do anything for it. 1. Her getting well soon. 2. I need freedom from my life . Which means moving away to another country. I need these so bad. I don't care if I don't die anymore. I know I've always wanted to die and that was the only prayer in my head but now no. I want these 2 . Please please please. I won't be able to take it please ahh I'm crying again. I'm never getting attached to anyone again.

It's December already, please please please I promise that if these two things happen, I WILL NEVER NEVER EVER think about killing myself again. I promise this. I really really really promise you. But , if not , then that's it. You know I've always wanted to die , ever since 2011, so I'm giving up on this if I get the things I want. Atleast the 1st one. I won't be able to live at all.

Why am I crying so much. It's too much to handle. I feel like the nerves in my head will tear open with the strain. Its been long since I cried so much . I know I'm over thinking but why can't I fucking stop. STOP. Okay I'll just sleep .

1/12/23 (00:05)

I didnt miss her at all these last 3 days but i think i miss her a little today. I suddenly think about her and feel like crying. This is not because i miss her but idk. I feel like every bad thing happened to me at once and my mental health is at stake. 1. her being extremely sick with that deadly virus? whatever it is. 2. My uni thing. 3 me falling sick as well. i cant control my emotions when im sick. especiallllyyyy fever. i feel so weak and that stupid fever aftertaste on my tongue is making me wanna puke. i think im sleeping a lot these days. like 16 hours a day or something, maybe physcial and mental exhaustion is catching up to me. fuck this life . anygays idk i hope something good happens please. i wanna cry again lol. crying feels nice all of a sudden . its all because im sick lol. i guess ugh idk fuck this

i slept on the couch yesterday night, i think ill do the same tonight lol. i always sleep on the couch when im sick i guess??? ah im sleepy again. prolly med effect. ill eat and sleep now. i hope my baby feels almost better tomorrow. wow im sleepy af all of a sudden . no energy i think ill fall off byee

01/11/23 (20:16)

Lol i haven't written in so long ahhh yeah idk it's going okay I guess. We were having a call on gmeet with another friend of mine and she spoke about her boyfriend today. Idk what happened to me and why it happened but I cried wtf? Like wtf?????? Idk what to do anymore. It's reality I know but it's hurting. I know I'm just a ummm what am I again? No one omg fuck this

03:20 (18/11/23)

i love you

22:36(uk time zone) 11/02/24

Ah i need you so bad but i yeah i should be understanding. I’ll be. But know that i need you so bad like emotionally but im not brave enough to text you .

15/02/24 1:14pm

I love you . It feels sad now . When i think about her, my brain makes me sad lol. Whenever i imagine fake scenarios with her my brain keeps constantly reminding me that im just delulu and nothing will ever happen. I already know that but lemme be happy? i keep thinking about the break up that will happen soon when she gets engaged. I know there’s time, there’s a lot of time but i can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like it’s always there at the back of my mind. I just wanna be delulu , carefree and happy. I don’t wanna think much okay bye

29/02/24(2:30am)

I hope you dont see this but I’m so sorry. There are so many thoughts running in my head rn. I feel like im ruining something perfect. i mean you and him. I know nothing will change , yall are the end game and i dont want that to change. But the guilt is hittinf me these days. Am i that bad? Am i that selfish? What am i supposed to do? Shouldi stop? I dont want to stop but i dont want to be so selfish. Am i really a homewrecker? fuck

(12:06)

(PLEASE DONT READ THIS IM BEGGING YOU)

Ouch. That stung. Very bad. Ahh i can feel my heart breaking into pieces and im having a breakdown. I feel so so so helpless. I really can't do anything about this. I have no way out now do i? Please universe please please help me please.

I'll do anything. Hold me from breaking apart every time. I should be used to this by now?

Right? It's been so long. It should be normal. But as the days go by i can't take it. I'm breaking so bad. This is why i hate love so much. Only pain and hurt. But do you think i can let go? No. The most dumb and stupid award should be given to me. I hate everything

6:46 (19/8/24)

I want a day where it doesn't hurt me anymore.

But i guess that day will be the day im not in love anymore and I've completely lost feelings. I dont want that.

7:06

I love myself too much. I want to be happy. I will be happy. Me me me me and only me.

Every time i close my eyes her Instagram story flashes ahhh i want amnesia. I want to hid my head somewhere and lose all my 24 years memories. It hurts THAT much. Or maybe I'm over reacting too much. Its prolly the latter lol ok.

But i know its something she can't help too so lol both of us are helpless. Im just opening up here and she's not. Now i need to give my brain some rest. I'll be offline the whole day to heal

7:47

Why do you keep hurting me so much. Why do you always sabotage us for everything. Every minor inconvenience you get you let it affect us. Bro even on our one year anniversary? Is it not special to you? I’m so hurt but I’m even scared to tell you that.

1/10/24

[kaistarus]

Mistexting Mayhem

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: You accidentally send Nishinoya a text that was meant for Yachi and now he’s knows secrets you were hoping he never found out

A/N: If you think this fic is anything but crack you’re wrong lmao I’ve always wanted to write a fic with this style and Noya is great for the chaos i needed. It was fun

Masterlist

[6:40pm] idiot⚡: look y/n without adhd id be too powerful

                         i could beet god himself in handtohand combat

                         god was afraid of my raw fuckin awesomeness wen i bursted from the woom

[6:41pm] y/n: there is so much wrong with what u just said

[6:41pm] idiot⚡: i have absoltly no clue wat

[6:43pm] y/n: put those 3 brain cells to work. I believe in you

[6:43pm] idiot⚡: but theyve reached their daily quota

                          plz there so tired and overworked

You snorted, a dopey smile on your lips as you laid surrounded by textbooks and homework, swinging your feet in the air behind you. You focused intently on the cell phone in your hand doing everything you could to procrastinate the schoolwork around you.

[6:44pm] y/n: noyas so stupid

[6:44pm] yachi❤: i thought you liked him?

[6:45pm] y/n: jeez Yachi. dont come for my throat

                       i cant help that i have bad taste 🙄

[6:46pm] yachi❤: if it helps he tripped over a stray ball today

                               maybe think of that till you don’t like him??

Unfortunately, the image of Nishinoya waving to everyone then biffing it only had you smiling like a dork. How you’d gotten to a point that Nishinoya being an idiot made you swoon, you’ll never know.

You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at the new notification on Snapchat from ‘Tanaka’ and after swiping it open you nearly dropped your phone. Looking back at you was Nishinoya, his head tilted and eyebrow quirked in confusion with a gari-gari kun shoved halfway down his throat. The caption at the bottom reading ‘daaaammn look at your prince charming go 😩’.

You frowned at the picture, letting out a frustrated groan at how your heart accelerated against your ribcage. You quickly tapped out of it and reopened the messenger app.

[6:57pm] y/n: we have to kill Noya

[6:57pm] idiot⚡: we??? what kind of mission is this??? 😤

[6:58pm] y/n: i like him too much. he has to die. its for my own good

You waited impatiently for her response and almost debated doing your homework since it took longer than you felt necessary. You supposed you had suggested murder to Yachi, but still…

When you finally received a response your entire body froze.

[7:11pm] idiot⚡: U LIKE ME?!?!? 😍

                          UR KILLING ME?!?! 😢

                          IM SO CONFUSED......

                          and a lil turned on ngl👀

Your hand covered your mouth in horror as you processed what the hell you had just done. This didn’t happen to people in real life. Mistexting was stuff people made up when they created fake texts for social media to get likes. You didn’t think people actually went through this.

You opened new notifications to escape the hell that stared you straight in the face.

[7:15pm] Tanaka💪: Yo, whatd u do. Whys Noya having a panic attak

[7:16pm] y/n: I accidently texted him instead of Yachi and told him i liked him 😣

[7:16pm] Tanaka💪: O wtf thats hilarious 😂

[7:17pm] y/n: ITS NOT HILArIOUS

[7:18pm] Tanaka💪: Hes askin if its a prank. Wat do i do?

[7:19pm] y/n:I DONT KNOW SDKFHJN IM THE IDIOT WHO STSRTED IT

He stopped responding and you banged your head against your pillow anxiously.

[7:23pm] y/n: YACHI ITOLD NoYA I LKED HIM AND NOU HE NOS WAY DO JI DO!?!????! 😭😭😭

[7:23pm] idiot⚡: THIS ISNT YACHI!!!!

                           HOLY FUKC U DO LIEK ME!!!

You screamed into your pillow. Were you fucking kidding? This could not be happening.

[7:25pm] Tanaka💪: dude, twice? i cant save u now 🤪

[7:25pm] y/n: betraying me in my time of fucking need? i’ll remember this asshole

[7:26pm] Tanaka💪: so vulgar 👀

You growled at Tanaka’s uselessness and bravely peeked through one eye as you went back to your conversation with Nishinoya.

[7:24pm] idiot⚡: STOP IGNORING ME I KNO UR TEXTING RYU

[7:26pm] idiot: IM GONNA KEEP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWE RME😤

[7:26pm] idiot⚡: 1

                          2

                          3

                          4

                          5

                           6

                           7

                           8

                           9

[7:27pm] y/n: what is this twitch chat? fuck 

[7:28pm] idiot⚡: your heeeeererererreee 🥰

[7:29pm] y/n: soooooo………..

                        clearly there has been a misunderstanding

[7:29pm] idiot⚡: oh nonono. I understand PERFETCLY. u LOVE me

                         its ok. this is a safe space. we can discuss feelings 😌

[7:31pm] y/n: there are zero feelings to discuss

[7:31pm] idiot⚡: then y did u say u like me too much so i have to die?

[7:34pm] y/n: i am filled with rage 🤬

[7:34pm] idiot⚡: rage over how much u liiike me???🥰🥰🥰

[7:36pm] y/n: definitely not

You racked your brain for some kind of reasonable sounding excuse, eventually landing on:

[7:36pm] y/n: It was autocorrect

[7:36pm] idiot⚡: HAH????? FROM?????

[7:38pm] y/n: HAH???

                       ....Nora?

[7:38pm] idiot⚡: Who TF is nora???? 😡

[7:39pm] y/n: someoe i like obviously 😏

[7:40pm] idiot⚡: so u like them but u use my name so much it autocorrected to me? 🤔

[7:44pm] y/n: OK MR DETEcTIVE WHERE TF ARE THES BRAIN CELS COMIN GFROM?

[7:45pm] idiot⚡: i pull them out for special ocasions 😌

[7:45pm] y/n: well how bout you pack those up and put em away

[7:46pm] idiot⚡: how bout two people who LIKE each other SAY something so they can DOOOOOOOO something bout IT 🙄

You began typing a frantic message about how it was none of his business until you processed the message. Then you read it over several times before letting out an audible, “what the fuck.”

[7:50pm] y/n: YOU LIKE ME

[7:50pm] idiot⚡: I FLIRT WITH U ALL THE TIME WAT DO U MEAN yOu LiKe Me!?!

                          FUCKING OBVIOSLY

[7:51pm] y/n: literally when. name one time.

[7:52pm] idiot⚡: I WALK WITH U EVERY MORNING!!!

[7:53pm] y/n: I thought that was a coincidence???

[7:54pm] idiot⚡: I BRNIG U SNACKS DURING LUNCH!!!

[7:54pm] y/n: I thought they were leftovers??

[7:55pm] idiot⚡: …....I call you cute and invite you to my games.

[7:56pm] y/n: you call everyone attractive and i thought there was like a audience quota or something........?

[7:57pm] idiot⚡: ….i cant tell who i should be upset with rn but i think its u 😑

[7:58pm] y/n: WAT WHY!?!

[8:00pm] Idiot⚡: I LIKE U+U LIKE ME=WE LIKE EACH OTHER

[8:01pm] y/n: whoa. slow down. I hate math 😣

[8:02pm] Idiot⚡: ===WE SHUD GO ON A DATE!!!

[8:02pm] y/n: HAH!? i think you started multiplying that addition problem buddy 🤨

Your cheeks were beginning to ache from how wide your dopey grin was. You couldn’t help but tease Nishinoya-it was second nature at this point-even if you now knew your feelings were mutual.

[8:04pm] idiot⚡: i suk at math but thats NOT the point

                         point iiissss i think deep down u want to hang out and cuddle and fall in love

                        maybe even..... 😏 kiiisssss

[8:04pm] y/n: WHOA WHOA WHOA

                        WARN ME BEFORE YOU GET NSFW

                        i would never premarital eye-contact. let alone k🤢ki-🤢🤢kiss🤢🤮🤮

[8:05pm] idiot⚡: well we would have socks on 🙄

[8:06pm] y/n: oh. well if there’s protection

[8:06pm] idiot⚡: Im not a maniac

[8:07pm] y/n: i suppose as long as you dont do something stoopid

                        like faceplant in public

                        that would be humiliating

[8:08pm] idiot⚡: I-

                          who told you that 😠

[8:08pm] y/n: i have spies everywhere noya

                        youre never safe

[8:09pm] Idiot⚡: kinda hot 👀

                         makin me fear for my life like that👀

[8:10pm] y/n: i hate that i like you

                        It kills me inside 

                        i feel braincels leaving with every conversation

[8:12pm] Idiot⚡: fan behavior 😏

                          so am i taking u to eat tomorow or wat?

[8:14pm] y/n: if I HAVE to 🙄

[8:14pm] Idiot⚡: No u GET to

                          I am a fucking delite 😤

[8:15pm] y/n: whatever helps you sleep at night

[8:15pm] Idiot⚡: nothing helps me sleep at night. this mind never rests

[8:16pm] y/n: thinking 24/7 and still not a smart thing comes out of that mouth 👀

[8:17pm] Idiot⚡: yas, bully me more 😫

[8:19pm] y/n: ok thats as much as i can handle for one day......

                       im gonna pretend to do homework

[8:20pm] idiot⚡: okie... good luck my sweet baby pogchamp 🥰

[8:20pm] y/n: no

[8:20pm] Idiot⚡: 😘😘😘

[8:22pm] y/n: 🙄✋

[8:23pm] Idiot⚡: oh FUCK yas 🥵 shut me UP

[8:25pm] y/n: suddenly all i feel is endless regret

[8:26pm] Idiot⚡: i have that effect on people

                          See you tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰

[8:27pm] y/n: unfortunately 😘

[8:27pm] idiot⚡: 🥵

You flung an arm over your eyes and let a small giggle bubble up from your chest. Nishinoya was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met, but you couldn’t help that thinking of spending time with him had you kicking your feet with excitement.

You supposed you should actually get started on your homework. You reached forward when a notification popped up from Yachi, asking if her idea worked and you had stopped liking Nishinoya.

...you should probably break the news, huh?

[imagintheworldaway]

Used Pt 2

Anonymous said: Hello i loved your post “used” with Harry and i just wanted to know if you are planning a part 2 in the future?!?

Anonymous said: Loved your most recent imagine of Harry! Can you plzzzzz make a part 2 of used, where she’s a bad B and becomes even more successful and she’s better off without him? Thank you!

A/N I loved that you guys loved the first one! I went through a few different ideas / endings for this one and I think I'm happy with the outcome! warning it is a long one so strap in!

Used Pt 1 can be found here

Requests are open!

That night at Harrys apartment felt like a life time ago. The breakup wasn’t messy as neither of us addressed it really, I archived all of my posts of him and he had done the same for me and that was about it. It didn’t take the fans to catch on but what can you expect, they know more about me than I do. it had been almost 6 months to the date, not that I was counting or anything but I honestly felt like Harry was my soulmate at the time. Oh how love can blind you. 

The past few months I had submerged myself into my channel and my fans. I had done an array of meet and greets and was interacting more with them, and honestly my love for YouTube was restored and I felt like a whole new person. I had had a full make over and due to this my channel had grown immensely and I had hit 50 million subscribers, a huge achievement which I never though would happen. it was amazing to see the amount of support I was gaining from my fans and how much I had grown, from a naive teenager to a young adult. I had received an overwhelming amount of support from my friends. When Harry and I broke up they tried not to take sides but It was evident that that couldn’t last forever and I was ok with that. 

I had just finished a meeting with my manager at her office. With my new look and attitude brands seemed to swarm at me and I was gaining so many new opportunities it was kind of crazy. It was like I was a completely different person and it seemed to be working in furthering my career. I got in my Uber and made my way to my new apartment, after the break up I felt like starting a new was best and so I moved into my new multi million apartment in knightsbridge. It was nice to be in an area by myself as it meant that I had more privacy and was able to truly live my best single life. Plus a tour of new apartment left many of my friends in awe, and honestly I loved that I could show off all my hard work. 

I thanked my Uber driver and made my way to my apartment, once inside I collapsed on my sofa and kicked off my heels, which I was still getting used to in all honesty. Having changed from living in baggy jumpers and old trainers was a bit of a shock but I loved wearing my more out there wardrobe, with tighter clothes and higher heels, my makeup always done to perfection, I always felt like people had their eye on me and I felt amazing.  My change in personality and look hadn’t gone unnoticed either, although they didn’t say anything I could tell my friends liked my new attitude, after wallowing in self pity for a few months I think they’re happy that I’m back and stronger than what I was before. 

I still thought about Harry from time to time. How I not so secretly still had one of his jumpers and when I was alone id wear it, just to feel his embrace once more. When we had initially broken up it took him less than two days to send Freezy round my apartment to drop off my box of things and to request his stuff back. I know Freezy felt bad but what choice did he have if Harry wanted to erase me from his life then so be it. More fool him, I had grown so much and if he was truly clout chasing then he should’ve stuck around a little longer. 

I woke up to my doorbell ringing. I must’ve fallen asleep on the sofa. I stretched a little when the doorbell kept ringing. “Jeez I’m coming” I mumbled to myself. I pressed the array of buttons for who ever it was to get through the front gate and after a few minutes I opened the door to reveal Talia. “Have you been sleeping?” She giggled at me as she walked into my apartment, propping herself up on one of my breakfast stools. “Hmm, oh yh, busy day” I laughed closing the door and standing the other side of the breakfast bar looking up at her. 

“Soooooo” I edged her to start talking. “Oh right sorry, your release party, Simon was pestering me to ask you if a certain arsehole could come?” She said the last part in a sheepish tone. Fuck, my release party I completely forgot, I had had so much on my plate that I forgot I was opening a club and releasing my own line of spirits. I stood up looking at Talia with a confused look “why the hell would I invite my ex to my release party?”. I reached up and grabbed two wine glasses pouring us each a glass of rosé. Passing over a glass to Talia as she pondered her reply. “Honestly I said the same but apparently all the lads feel bad as everyone we know is invited except for him” she swirled her glass of wine and took a sip as I copied her mentioned. In all fairness it was rude that I invited everyone but him, plus it was going to be the event to beat, and I had a few spaces on the guest list. “T, I don’t know” I shrugged at her sighing. “If I was you id tell him to stick it where-“ Talia started before I cut her off “I know, I know, it does seem a little harsh, I have invited so many people and, well, you know what fuck it, I’ll get my manager to add him to the list if you let him know” I decided. Talia looked gobsmacked, I had never seen her this speechless in our lives. “Are you sure, he’s a dick like you really don’t have to” she said cocking an eyebrow at me. “Look its not fair, plus there’s going to be hundreds of people there and the likelihood of us actually interacting are practically 0” I stated. Which was true, there was going to be just about the whole British YouTube community there, as well as some celebrities and journalists, and I would have my team around me at all times so the chance of him even getting near me is slim. 

That night Talia and I had gotten wasted, watching movies and just have a nice little girly night. However, right now I was shaking in my heels. My hair and makeup had been done to perfection and I was in a body hugging dress which showed off all of my curves perfectly. I looked almost like a model that’s how good I looked. I of Course was going to be the last to arrive at the venue, I needed everyone to be chatting with flutes of complimentary champagne when I entered so all attention was on me, as conceited as this sounds my publicists and manager had worked months for this to run as perfect as possible. I arrived at the venue and I could hear the music from outside “you ready?” My manager, Lucy asked. I nodded my head and made my way through the back entrance. I stood behind the stage door with a mic in one hand and a bottle of my own vodka in another. “Deep breaths, you’ll smash it” Lucy smiled at me, I just nodded and plastered on a smile, I heard the music die down a little and the door opened and I made my way on stage. An eruption of applause and cheering began from my friends and guests. I smiled taking it all in for a moment before I raised the mic to my mouth. 

“Thank you all so much for being here today and supporting me in my new business venture. If you would have told me a year ago that this is where I would be I would have laughed. These past few months I’ve grown more than I ever have, my channel, my business and more importantly myself. I can’t thank you all enough for the continuous love and support, without you guys or my fans I wouldn’t be where I am today. So id like you to all enjoy a complimentary glass of my new Vodka and enjoy yourselves. Because tonight is about friends and loved ones. So let’s get wasted!!!” I recited my speech cheering at the end. I got a mass amount of applause and cheers and I smiled looking over the crowd. I could see all my friends together happy, the way it should be and I smiled until I saw him, he actually came. My smile faltered slightly and my breath hitched in my throat. I quickly shook it off and made my way to the stairs, exiting the stage. I was quickly engulfed in a mass of hugs and bodies, people I knew and some I didn’t all congratulating me. 

I had done it I had made it and all on my own. 

After about half an hour I made it over to my closest group of friends. They all cheered when I went over and I did a mock curtsey, careful not to reveal too much. I got handed a glass of something and started polite conversation. “We’re all so proud of you” Gee gushed “you’ve done so well I can’t believe that you are basically the most sought after name at the moment” freya added. “ I couldn’t have done it without you guys” I smiled. “Oh shut up little miss humble” Ethan who had clearly had a bit much to drink already. “You’re  the queen of UK YouTube, you have your own empire going and you built it all yourself” he grinned at me before smothering me in a hug. “You need to be in more of our vids then maybe we’d be doing just as well as you” Simon commented earning a laugh from the group. “Here’s to Y/N the baddest bitch I know” Talia toasted and everyone joined in. I smiled as we fell into polite chatter. “I’m just nipping outside” I informed my friends smiling at them before making my way to the balcony. I leant over the edge and smiled, nothing could ruin my life right now. I thought to myself. That was until I heard footsteps approach me from behind and the body heat of someone I could recognise in an instant next to me. “Before you say anything I’m here to congratulate you” Harry said. I kept my gaze forward, not wanted tears that I didn’t know still existed for him to spill. “I’m so proud of you, honestly I am, so are my family, they miss you, I miss you” I turned my body and met Harrys gaze. I studied his face, he had bags under his eyes and the usual scruff on his beard was longer than he usually kept it, his hair was also scruffy, not scruffy like usual but tangled and unkept. He was wearing smart trousers and a nice button up shirt, no blazer, Harry hated formal clothes. “Thank you” was all I was able to say as I smiled at him. “You know, with every day that goes by someone reminds me how I fucked up and should have kept a death grip on you, that you were the best part of me and now I’m just some boring kid who plays Fifa” I half chuckled at the end. I felt sorry for him, it seemed that I had grown and succeeded and that Harry had stayed stagnant in his life. “Harry, I, I don’t know what you want me to say” I looked at him with sorry eyes, I think maybe I still loved him, but I had been doing so well without him I just I didn’t know whether I wanted to kiss him or kill him. “No I, I get that, I was a dick. I was in a rut and I took it out on you. And well honestly seeing you do so well without me just shows how I was holding you back. I’m proud of you, I’m happy for you, honestly I am bear, sorry Y/N” we had made eye contact at this point. So many memories came flooding back to me. Our first kiss, our first date, the nights we spent talking about what we wanted to name our children, and how we wanted to have a house in Guernsey and one in London. How we were going to grow old together and never let the other go. 

I broke my gaze when I heard Lucy call my name. I took a deep breath. “I loved you harry, with all my heart, with all my being and I was willing to stay and love you no matter what. I think I still do love you. But right now I need to focus on me, my empire has only just started and I don’t want us to back peddle. The only way for me is forward no mater if you’re there with me or not.” I spilled my heart out to Harry before I heard Lucy call me name again. “Sorry” was all I could say before I headed back inside. I wiped a stray tear from my eye and took one last look at harry, I had left him so broken. But now was time to put me first Y/N is number one in my life and as much as I wanted to fall back into my old self I couldn’t. I had made promises and shown that after heartbreak you can build and make yourself stronger than before. And I was not about to throw it all away.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Reggie//i can't let you go now that i got it

Request: your last reggie mantle imagine was soooooo cute it was.... BIG FAV i'm still grinning! could you please do one where reader and reggie have been best friends their whole lives? she's super protective and sweet to him and like? she's been in love for years but has been hiding it well?? she gets him to come away with her to college because 'screw this town' and they live together? but eventually she starts going on dates and it makes him realize he's in love with her too?? mutual love confession

hey! so before you go any further trigger warning mentions of abuse, specifically around reggie and his dad. it’s not in detail but it is mentioned a few times so don’t read if that upsets you. the last thing i want you to be is sad. i hope you all have a good day anyway, whether you’re reading this or not! (title is from Børns ‘electric love’)

- For 18 years 

- Reggie Mantle has been the only constant in your life 

- Even when you were babies he was there 

- Your mom’s sat beside each other in baby class, cooing and awing over each other’s kids

- All while 6 month old you stole 6 month old Reggie’s toy

- And then he cried so hard he vomited on not only himself but you as well 

- Which then made you cry even louder 

- And then your mom’s were asked to leave 

- So instead

- It became a weekly thing for your mom to take you to The Mantle’s 

- While her and Mrs Mantle gossiped and drank tea 

- You and Reggie would hit each other with various stuffed toys. 

- As you got older 

- The weekly visits turned into daily ones 

- Especially when you moved three houses away from him

- You and Reggie started to see each other more than your own parents did

- Your mom still went over once a week

- But when she arrived you were always usually there

- Either stood in the kitchen getting a snack 

- Or lying on Reggie’s bed watching an awful movie he just ‘had to show you’ 

- They usually involved a hybrid of two animals

- Sometimes mythical, sometimes not 

- But in all of them they were usually taking over the world

- They also always had the same four actors in

- But despite how much you protested 

- ‘reggie? are you being serious? we watched this one last time.’ 

- ‘no, we watched molemaid last time. this is medusamaid. they’re completely different’ 

- ‘oh, sorry. my mistake’

- You actually secretly loved them 

- Because they made him happy

- You would watch in awe as he laughed at stupid jokes 

- And how his eyes would always light up at a particularly gruesome part, no matter how badly CGI’d it was

- You also listened to the countless of theories as to how ‘hurrik9’ is clearly the prequel to ‘hellhounds’ because ‘they’ve got the same main character! it doesn’t matter if they’re not played by the same person. y/n, they’ve got the same name.’ 

- You also listened to him complain about the inconsistencies between ‘werewombats 1’ and ‘werewombats 2’

- ‘no matter how much the director stands by the decision to make them turn on each other, despite the first film clearly stating that that’s the last thing they’d do.’ 

- But the thing you loved the most about it 

- Was that he was only ever this way with you

- You’d been sworn to secrecy when you walked in on him watching ‘dinocano vs uniquake’ 

- And you promised never to tell anyone about his secret passion

- Or the fact that he had a stack of notebooks filled with plots and mini scripts for his own films. 

- Reggie may have gotten popular

- But to you, he’s still the same Reggie you’ve always known.

- Whose scared of clowns but won’t admit it

- And cried when watching Edward Scissorhands but if anybody asks it was you

- And who hates hot chocolate, but its the only thing he’ll drink when he’s sick 

- He also only eats pink marshmallows in months ending in R

- And white ones every other month 

- But in December he has both...because its Christmas.

- Yeah, you and Reggie are best friends 

- Always have been, always will

- But it doesn’t stop you from wanting more.

- It doesn’t stop the longing looks when you think no one is watching 

- Or the lingering touches whenever he hugs you

- It doesn’t stop your heartbeat picking up whenever he walks into a room

- Or how you forget how to breathe whenever he looks at you

- You look forward to everyday, even if you have a pop quiz or homework you only remembered the night before

- Because he’s going to be there to make you smile

- Even if he isn’t doing it on purpose 

- You look forward to the countless of texts he sends

- No matter how weird or ridiculous 

- Like when he text you at half three in the morning to ask if birds were real because somebody told him they weren’t.

- You then got a text straight afterwards telling you that it would be great idea for a plot

- And you still answer every single one

- No matter how stupid they are 

- It’s really a wonder how you get any sleep with your phone being on loud all the time

- But it’s worth it

- Especially when you get texts like 

- ‘he’s done it again’ 

- Reggie’s relationship with his father complicated to say the least

- You remember when you were younger they used to be best friends 

- Reggie idolized him 

- And you’d have conversations in Reggie’s tree house, about how much he wanted to be just like his dad when he grew up

- But when he did grow up

- And started to develop a personality that didn’t just revolve around football 

- Reggie no longer wanted to be just like his dad 

- He wanted to be the furthest thing from him

- The first time it happened 

- Reggie tried his hardest to hide it from you 

- And for the first time in 8 years 

- You went two days without seeing each other 

- On the third day though 

- You’d had enough 

- So you went round to see him 

- But when you asked his mom if he was in 

- She lied and told you he had just gone out 

- Even though you could clearly see him trying and failing to hide on the stairs

- So you did what any normal friend would do 

- You climbed through his bedroom window 

- With about as much grace and steal as you could muster 

- Which surprisingly, wasn’t a lot

- And you gave him the fright of his life 

- ‘what the hell are you doing here?’ 

- ‘you’re avoiding me’ 

- ‘i’m not. i’ve just been...busy’ 

- ‘doing what? fighting?’ 

- ‘what?’

- ‘your eye’ 

- ‘oh yeah...that’ 

- That was when you knew something was wrong 

- You’ve known Reggie your entire laugh 

- And you know the three things he’ll always boast about 

- Girls, football and fighting 

- ‘what happened?’ 

- When he told you 

- You couldn’t believe what he was saying 

- You wanted to find Marty Mantle and give him a black eye...see how he likes it 

- But Reggie begged you not to do or say anything 

- ‘it’ll only make it worse’ 

- ‘but its wrong. he should be locked up’

- ‘who’s going to believe me?’ 

- ‘me’ 

- ‘see...it was only one time anyway’ 

- So you agreed, reluctantly 

- And you so wanted to believe it

- But then a few weeks later he turned up to school with a bust lip

- A month after that another bruise around his eye that he tried to hide behind sunglasses 

- And by the time graduation rolled around 

- Both of you had lost count of the sunglasses and excuses 

- For three years he’d been trapped in a house with a father who thought hitting was the same as love 

- And a mother who pretended it didn’t happen 

- But now college was round the corner and that meant a chance for both of you

- Or at least thats what you thought

- ‘you didn’t get in?’ 

- ‘i didn’t get in.’ 

- ‘to any of them?’ 

- ‘nope’

- ‘reggi-’

- ‘it’s fine. my dad has always wanted me to work for him. i guess this will make him happy. even if i am the cleaner’ 

- ‘reg-’ 

- ‘please go’

- That summer was the longest one of your life 

- It was even longer that the time Reggie had to get his appendix out and so you couldn’t hang out for a 3 weeks.

- For two and a half months 

- You heard nothing from Reggie 

- You text, called, DM’d and even E-mailed

- But you got nothing 

- You went round at all times of the day to try and talk to him

- And every time Mrs Mantle answered and told you he was either out or busy

- Doing homework was her favourite excuse

- And Reggie has only ever done homework when you were doing the majority of it 

- You even tried climbing in through his window again 

- But he locked it 

- So you watched every morning as he dragged himself into his dad’s car

- Wearing a stiff suit and a miserable expression 

- No matter how hard you tried to get to him before the left 

- How fast you ran or how early you got to his house

- They were always long gone before you managed to get anywhere close to him

- You missed the midnight texts about nothing 

- You missed his stupid jokes 

- You missed watching an entire room light up whenever he walked in

- You missed the way he made you feel, even if he was unaware of it 

- You even missed watching his god-awful movies 

- You just missed him 

- And when he missed your leaving party 

- That was the final straw

- At 7am the next morning 

- You shoved the last of your boxes in the back of your car 

- Said goodbye to your parents 

- And drove away

- Three houses down the street 

- Making sure your parents had gone back inside before stopping 

- You sat outside for a few minutes 

- Trying to think of what to do or say 

- You knew his mom would answer the door

- And that you’d get the same excuses 

- You also knew from the past few experiences that his window would still be locked 

- So you threw rocks at his bedroom window in the hopes that when he’d check to see what it was, he’d leave it unlocked 

- And he did! 

- You watched from behind a bush as he hung his head out the window to look around

- His brow furrowed and hair messy

- Clearly he’d just woke up

- You couldn’t help the smile twitching at your lips 

- You’d missed that face 

- Climbing the window was a lot harder than it used to be 

- Mr Mantle had taken the ladders away 

- Another reason as to why he sucked

- But you managed eventually 

- And you almost died only twice 

- Which is good 

- It’s better than three 

- You landed on the carpet with a loud thud that made him jump half way across the room

- ‘y/n. what the hell are you doing here?’

- ‘it’s moving day. and i must say i’m very disappointed at the lack of preparation on your part. have you even started packing yet?’

- ‘it’s not funny y/n’

- ‘i know. do you see me laughing?’

- ‘i’m being serious y/n. just leave’ 

- ‘no’ 

- ‘what?’

- ‘the last time you told me to leave, i listened and i didn’t see you for two months, so no’ 

- ‘what about college’ 

- ‘what about it?’ 

- ‘it starts in three days’ 

- ‘i know. and if we stand here any longer we’re going to miss it. so get packed and lets go. it’s a nine hour drive and i’m not doing all of that alone’ 

- ‘you know i can’t go’ 

- ‘says who?’ 

- ‘my dad, every single college i applied for and me’ 

- ‘listen to me reggie. you are my best friend, you have been since we were babies. there’s not a part of my life you haven’t been in. do you really think that would stop at college?’ 

- ‘we didn’t spend the summer together’ 

- ‘and it was the worst summer of my life’ 

- ‘same...but that might have been because i was spending 12 hours a day in an office’ 

- ‘rude. but i’ll take it!’ 

- ‘i did miss you though. it was weird not seeing your face everyday’ 

- That makes your cheeks heat up and you have to force the flutter in your chest to go away

- ‘it always cheers me up’ 

- There it goes again and you want to claw at your chest until it’s no longer there 

- Hope is a terrible thing to have when you’ve been in love with your best friend for your entire life

- ‘you always cheer me up’ 

- Oh dear...

- ‘i love you...a-as a friend. this summer has been the longest and most depressing for both of us. i don’t want to live the rest of my life like that. i need you reggie. so please pack your bags, say screw you to your dad and to this town and lets go’ 

- ‘what about money? where am i going to live?’ 

- ‘we’ll figure that out on the way there. just hurry up’ 

- And he did 

- You and Reggie threw the majority of his belongings into any bag you could find

- He took all the money he’d been saving out of the poorly disguised fake plant

- And wrote a nice little note for his parents 

- You also may have added a few choice words to it 

- But what Reggie doesn’t know won’t hurt him 

- And the two of you climbed into your car and never looked back

- The 9 hour car ride was the most fun you’ve ever had 

- It was like you were trying to fit the entire summer you’d lost into those few hours 

- It was filled with off key singing 

- And stories of your summer 

- His favourite being about Archie being tricked into going skinny dipping by himself

- You laughed loudly like nothing had happened 

- And cried silently because everything had 

- Thankfully when you arrived on campus, it was already night 

- So you managed to sneak Reggie into your room

- And when you nervously told your roommate 

- She just grinned at you

- ‘it’s fine, my boyfriend will probably be staying over a lot too’ 

- ‘oh, he’s not my boyfriend’ 

- ‘we’re not together’ 

- ‘...okay’ 

- She said with a knowing smile and you and Reggie shared a look

- And a year filled with adventures started

- Reggie got a job as a bartender with a little help from Veronica 

- And you started your classes 

- But nothing is ever easy 

- At least not when it involves you or Reggie 

- It turns out hiding a whole human is a lot more difficult that you anticipated. 

- It involves Reggie squeezing into your closet 

- And a whole team of people to get him to and from the showers 

- But it was also difficult for another reason

- Because it was easy to hide your feelings from him when you lived in separate house 

- But now you’re sharing a room

- And a bed 

- And every time he would wrap his arms around you 

- And pull in for a half asleep cuddle 

- You’d forget how to breathe 

- You’ve never been more excited to wake up

- Because he’d be all messy hair and parted lips with just a little bit of drool coming out of them that it would be cute instead of gross 

- And when he said good morning in the same deep, tired voice 

- You wanted to live in that feeling forever 

- But then 2nd year rolled around and everything changed 

- It all started when you moved into your own apartment 

- You knew you had to but there was a part of you that hoped you could keep everything the same 

- You found a tiny, two bedroom flat that you could both just about afford 

- Reggie was so happy to have his own room

- ‘i won’t have to sleep next to you and your freezing cold feet anymore’ 

- ‘i’ll just sneak into your bed when your fast asleep and put them on you then instead’ 

- ‘i thought we were supposed to be friends’ 

- It took a few weeks to get used to an empty bed 

- But eventually you started to sleep properly 

- And it was quite nice to have your own space again

- It meant you could study without having to listen to ‘nighthawk nightmare’ 

- Honestly, you don’t really know what the plot of that one is 

- But you’ve still seen it 7 times 

- You may be in love with him but it doesn’t mean he can’t be annoying sometimes 

- And you were happy with going back to admiring from afar

- Your heart can’t get broken that way

- In fact a small part of you thought he felt the same way 

- That one glimmer of hope you felt a year ago

- Came back all of sudden 

- And soon 

- You became aware of the lingering touches 

- And the gifts he’d buy you just because 

- He also asked what you wanted to watch for your movie night 

- And he’s never, ever done that unless you were sad or sick

- And even then, when you broke your arm a few years ago, he chose the film

- The way he looked at you suddenly felt different 

- You would feel him staring, but when you would check he would always be scrolling through his phone 

- And you’re sure the was a little bit of flirtiness in his tone whenever he spoke to you 

- But just because you think you can’t be burnt if you stand far enough away from the fire 

- Doesn’t mean that the sparks can’t jump out and get you anyway 

- Because all of sudden Reggie started bringing girls home 

- And every time you saw a t-shirt that wasn’t yours on the sofa 

- Or a pair of shoes discarded by the door

- You felt yourself die a little

- After a few weeks of this 

- Something in you snapped

- You’d spent the majority of your life pining after some boy who saw you as nothing more than a friend 

- And sometimes a small part of you thought as just an escape route

- So you moped for a few weeks before deciding it was finally time to move on

- Reggie would only ever see you as a friend 

- And that’s fine 

- The only way to move on, is to move on. 

- So you waited for the right guy to move on with 

- And there were a few 

- But none of them were right 

- Until you met Daniel 

- Sweet Daniel with curly brown hair and dimples

- Who studied history 

- And spent his days sitting in the coffee shop on campus

- For a few weeks the two of you spent your short interactions stealing glances and exchanging shy smiles 

- That evolved to small talk with flirty undertones

- Until finally he asked you out 

- And you said yes 

- And you kept saying yes to each date afterwards 

- They were fun too

- He’d take you to museum's and on picnics and at night he’d pick you up and you’d go star gazing 

- He would make you laugh when he’d tell you a joke 

- And make you blush when he’s whisper in your ear while staring up at the sky 

- But he wasn’t him

- And that killed you

- It doesn’t matter how many time he takes you to watch some unknown indie film thats supposed to be the greatest thing ever made

- It has nothing on standing outside the only cinema in town that’s showing ‘sharkcano vs tigerana’ in the freezing cold with Reggie wearing an absolutely ridiculous costumes that Reggie threw together last minute and somehow roped you into wearing too.

- But what hurt even more was watching how Reggie acted around you when you and Daniel started dating 

- He looked hurt whenever he saw the two of you together 

- And you would watch him roll his eyes whenever you mentioned him 

- Until eventually he would just avoid you all together 

- Do you know how hard it is to avoid someone when you’re living in the same 2 bedroom flat that barely gives two foot to yourself? 

- It’s hard 

- But Reggie finds a way 

- Eventually you’re more roommates than friends 

- And you really don’t know how much more you can take 

- You feel like you’re about to break 

- And Daniel can see that too

- So on Friday night he invites you to go drinking with him and his friends instead of staying in and moping 

- ‘bye, i’m going out’ 

- ‘wait’ 

- The speed of which he runs from his room and into the living room where your stood, startles you to say the least 

- ‘what?’

- ‘don’t go out with him.’ 

- ‘why not? what ever george has told you about is a lie. george does that. he once told a bunch of people that you streaked in an old people’s home and almost killed his grandmother’ 

- ‘because he isn’t me’ 

- You’ve dreamt of those words 

- Built them up in your head for years 

- But in all of your daydreams, there’s never been a scenario like this one 

- Not one where you’re about to leave to go on a date with another guy 

- ‘reggie? what are you talking about?’ 

- You need to make sure he’s saying what you think he’s saying 

- Because you can feel yourself hoping again

- And you know if he doesn’t mean what you want him to

- You don’t think you’ll be able to recover

- ‘i love you y/n. you’re my best friend, you always have been, you always will be and i love you.’ 

- ‘reg-’ 

- ‘please tell me you feel the same way’ 

- ‘i-’ 

- In your head you had a full oscar worthy speech planned out just in case this ever happened 

- But now you’re here in the moment. 

- You have no idea what to say

- ‘it doesn’t matter. just leave’ 

- ‘no’ 

- ‘what?’ 

- ‘do you really think i’m going to walk away from you after that? when have i ever walked away from you?’ 

- ‘i-no’

- ‘i love you too by the way. if you care’ 

- ‘shut up...wait really?’ 

- ‘yes i do. i’ve loved you for as long as i can remember so are you going to just stand there or are you going to kiss me?’ 

- ‘i’m definitely going to kiss you’ 

- ‘good’ 

- And he does 

- He’s standing in front of you before you can catch your breath

- His hands reach up to cup your cheeks 

- His lips part as he stares down at you 

- And you’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at you

- Like you’re everything good and light in the universe 

- And like he’s also been waiting just as long for this moment 

- Maybe he has 

- Maybe he’s been waiting all his life for this 

- He just didn’t know 

- You feel whatever breath you had left leave your lungs

- His lips are soft against yours, but he gets his point across 

- And you’ve never been happier 

- All the heartache and tears 

- The laughter and stupid jokes 

- The 3am texts 

- The constant worrying 

- The early mornings and late nights 

- The damage to limbs from trying to fit in tiny closets

- And the scrapes on your ankles and bruising on your legs from crawling through his bedroom window 

- They’re all worth it

- ‘are you still going on your date?’ 

- ‘what do you think?’ 

- ‘good. because they’ve just released werewombats 3’

[keepcalmandreadfluffinpublic]

Coyote Ugly part 3

A/N: soooooo I know I haven’t finished I hope you’re the last, but this was too good of an idea to not write. ;) This was so long overdue!!!! I’m sorry for such the long wait I made the mistake of grabbing a snack and came back and the whole chapter was deleted :( (the pain I felt). However, to make up for the wait I should be posting the other 2-3 within tonight or tomorrow!! As always I do not own the gif.... credit goes to moviewhorexo :)

Warnings: cussing, more ptsd (may be triggering), angst, things start to build!!

Pairings: Plus! Sized reader x Bucky, Steve x Natasha

Imagine: Running a bar was not ideal in your mind. However being able to invoke complete privacy for your clients was. All you had to do was lie about them and yourself, but what happens when your lies come to the surface and fate takes you on a whole new path? What happens when Earths greatest hero’s force that path?

An annoyed groan left my lips as I looked back at her picture. Her bright (y/e/c) eyes that were sparkling from earlier, now appearing dull through the screen. Her hair dull and lifeless, resembling the emotions held in her face. Her face was hollowed and thin, dark circles apparent under her eyes. I couldn’t wrap my head around how this was the same girl. If anything I would have thought they were twin sisters, and one fell into the wrong crowd. Shaking my head I placed the tablet down and pinched the bridge of my nose. the only thought crossing my mind was, who are you? 

The silence was cut short by the slam of the door opening. I didn't need to open my eyes to know it was Tony. “Are you fucking serious?” he yelled. I turned my head towards Steve who was looking right back at me. Great. “Now Tony before you start a fight-” Stave began to try and defuse the tension building, but Tony wasn’t having it. “I said to drop it! How hard could it be to just drop it? But no you went behind my back and invaded someone’s privacy, might I add a someone I love like a sister!” roaring he stepped further into the room. 

“She lied to you at the party.” I replied flatly

“The fuck did you say?”

“She lied to you, hell all of us back there!” I began feeling my own anger rising. “Tony how well do you know her? I mean there isn’t a shred of paper on her, no one has that little of information on them!” I say standing, while subtly crossing my arms over my chest. The metal turning and shifting was the only thing distracting me from losing control. 

Tony stared at us for a second, before shaking his head. “Friday call a team meeting, NOW!” he said eying both Steve and I. “Right away Mr. Stark. Is the living room ok?” the system responded earning a curt ‘that will do’ from Tony. “You want to know more about her? Well first we’re going to discuss serious matters, before we get to that part Barnes.” Tony fumed, before storming out. I took my chances looking at Steve, he looked just as confused as I was. “Did we just start something?” I questioned hoping he would provide me the clarity I was searching for. Steve stood there for a second before looking at me. “All I have to say is she better be worth what Tony is about to do, because Nat will freak if we did this without a good reason Buck.” was all he said before following Tony. Shit. 

The living room was in full chaos by the time Steve and I arrived. Wanda and Vision were arguing with Clint and Thor over what this ‘meeting’ would be about. Loki sat across from Natasha and Bruce who looked focused in their own conversation. Sam sat in his love seat with popcorn. He was smiling like a kid on Christmas. Tony was in the front setting up the screen. I felt out of place, don’t get me wrong I love the team (well most of them). But right now I felt like a fish in a shark tank and I was about to meet a very slow death. Steve strolled over to Natasha, who upon seeing him smiled. “What the hell is going on?” she asked watching Steve for any sort of hint. He looked down at her and smiled. “I guess we’re about to find out soon.” was all he said before joining her on the couch. I took my chances on the wall behind Loki, who seeing me knew this was going to more of a scolding then a meeting. “What did you do now Barnes?” he harsly whispered, with a smug smirk on his face. I just rolled my eyes and stayed on the wall. 

“Well now that we are all here.” Tony began, “I want to bring something to everyone’s attention.” he paused and scanned the room. No one moved an inch, but stared back at him confused as to what this was all about. “Invasion of privacy is a big deal! Now I know I’ve dealt in invading people’s privacy, but I want all of you to know right now. If you are going to try and dig information on anyone without my knowledge. Do not use my resources, I will not permit anything of the sorts. Now why is this relevant Tony? I’ll tell you why. Wanda put your hand down.” he snapped. 

Wanda taken by surprise lowered her hand and waited for him to continue. “Now as you all know I have very few people in my life who are dear to me!  People who are like family, besides all of you. I take it very personal when I let some of you meet someone close to my heart and for you to try and invade their privacy.” he stopped again, eying Steve and I. This caught everyone’s attention, causing me to shift my weight between my feet. “So I have decided to tell all of you about this special person and some general information, and I hope this will end curios minds from continuing their search.” Tony stated before tapping the screen. Her picture appeared replacing the once black screen. Her eyes still as emotionless as they were before. I couldn’t keep my gaze off of her. 

“This is my ‘adoptive’ sister Lea Black. She is 23 years old and owns her own Business, Coyote Ugly. This picture was taken 3 years ago when I first met her. She is my family and frankly I could use some. Here.” he said tapping the screen again. “is her today.” The image was completely opposite from the previous one. Your (y/h/c) shone brightly in the sunlight. Your delicate (y/e/c) eyes were squinted just a bit from your smile. Your eyes alone held so many emotions and life in them, I felt myself getting lost within them. Forcing my gaze from your eyes your smile welcomed me like a warm summer day. It was effortless and raw, truly beautiful. You were standing in the middle of a sunflower field with a bright yellow dress on. You looked content and at peace. 

“Now like I said she does own Coyote Ugly, a few of use have had the pleasure of being clients there, but if I find out that there is anymore invading her privacy there will be hell to pay.” as he finished everyone slowly looked around the suddenly to small of a room. There was a brief silence before Sam’s voice broke through. “So that’s why y’all were in a hurry to get back.” he stated throwing more popcorn into his mouth. “What does he mean by that Steve?” Wanda asked knowing no one was gonna let her in their minds. Steve lowered his hands into his hands, releasing a long sigh. “Well I-” but before he could continue I interrupted him. 

“I was the one who invaded both Lea’s and Tony’s privacy. She said something back at the club and I caught her in a lie. I forced steve to help me and againsts his better judgment he helped because he is my best friend. I am sorry Tony for doing what I did, but I will not apologize for trying to find the truth. There is something more you won’t tell us about her and I’ll be damned if I don’t figure it out.” I said my voice slowly lacing with venom as I spoke. Before anyone could say anything else, I stormed out of the room. Leaving them all in confusion and my head swarming with questions. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How could I have been so foolish? I let a dry laugh pass my lips. How did he find me? Why hasn’t he come for me directly, Brock wasn’t a patient man, what’s his game?  Releasing a frustrated groan I stand up, deciding it was best if I left my home for a bit. Maybe going to see Maci would help. I glance at the clock seeing it was only 11 am, I normally would be getting up at this time, but I haven’t slept at all last night.

 I tossed and turned before caving in on the fact I wasn’t going to be getting any sleep. I spent most of the night sitting on my balcony embracing nature’s tranquility; while silently wishing I was as peaceful. The moon shone high above me, almost proudly. And with every pass of the night breeze sent a shiver up my spine causing me to nestle further into my blankets. My mind soon wandered over when I was little and everything was so simple. But simplicity is a luxury only few can afford. Around dawn I made my way inside for some coffee before resuming my silent contempt. Living a life mine, caffeine was the only consistent thing in it, besides Maci and Tony. The sun rose emitting soft orange hues, making the almost pitch black night turn into a shade of vivid lilac and pink. 

At that moment I wished for once time would freeze and let me relish this a few seconds longer, but all good things must come to an end. I finally made my way back inside, and began pacing back and forth once more; leaving a permanent trail in its wake. I don’t remember when I had decided to take a shower, only when did the scalding hot water hit my skin did my overly tense muscles relax. I stayed there for well over an hour trying to escape my reality. But all to soon the familiar worrying and unsettling feelings started creeping back in. 

Forcing me back to reality. I proceeded to get ready in an almost dazed like trance. I hadn’t even realize I was downstairs till I was grabbing my keys. The drive was around 15 minutes, surprisingly short for New York traffic. Maci had been by my side since we were little. She knew everything about my past and still stayed with me. I didn’t knock when I reached her house, using the key she made me I opened the door. I began to shrug myself up the stairs and slowly make my way to her room. 

I noiselessly open her door, her room was barely lit. Her shades were almost drawn closed allowing the only light to enter from their small cracks. I quietly made my way to my side of the bed, before taking off my shoes. Double checking for any one night stand stragglers, before easing under the covers. Minutes passed and the only sound in the room was her soft snores. Slowly I positioned myself to face her, while trying to make sure she didn’t wake up. “Don’t be quiet on my account. I heard you when you opened the front door dumbass.” she said in a airy laugh. I laughed as well party at her response and the other out of relief. I hate silence. “I was trying to be considerate moody Judy. What’s got you so cranky?” I ask genuinely curious. Maci is normally and angel when she wakes up. “I met tequila, and tequila knocked me on my ass.” was all she said before we were taken by a fit of giggles. 

Maci got out the bed with an urgent need to go pee. She left me still silently shaking my head and laughing. She wasn’t gone long as soon enough we were facing each other again. “What’s bothering you gorgeous. Normally you don’t come over here till after lunch. And I can practically hear your thoughts turning around in there.” she said tapping me lighting on the head. I pursed my lips not know where to begin, and eventually giving up while rolling onto my back. I let out a long frustrated groan while my arms covered my face. “I don’t know if that was angry frustrated or sexually frustrated, but I will gladly help with either.” 

Maci said earning a heartfelt laugh from me. Maci was something else, and the complete opposite of me. She was 5′7, thin and toned in all the right places. She had long blonde hair that fell to her low back and sparkling green eyes. She was the equivalent of sex on legs, she slept with anyone and everyone. No matter size, gender, or sexuality. Not only that but she was extremely intelligent and witty, maybe that is why Shield hired her.

“Definitely angry frustrated, but I’ll let you know about the other.” I said jokingly. she said something along the lines of ‘you better’, but I was still too busy laughing. She got out of bed to put her hair up as she waited for me to talk. “Y/n? What’s wrong?” she persisted standing in front of the bed. I sat up running my hands through my hair. “Yesterday there were a couple of kids who snuck into the club. Nothing out of the ordinary until we started to interrogate them. Someone had paid them to sneak into the club. Me being curious as to why kept persisting on the topic.” I said before pausing to release a sigh. I looked down at my hands before meeting her waiting gaze. “Well one of the kids, she said he paid them to come and find out if there was a y/n y/l/n there. I was stunned because only a few people know my real name M. So against my better judgement I asked who sent them. A-an-and she said he was a man who went by the name of Brock.” I finished looking at my best friend. 

Minutes of silence passed between us before Maci spoke again. Her gaze was fixed on the wall behind me.  “Fucking bastard will wish he was dead, before I ever get the chance to find him.” she fumed catching me off guard. “M I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop living my life, and so far there has been no more contact attempts.” I said her stare was hard and cold, before softening when she looked at me. “You know I will have to tell Fury Y/n... I would much rather you be safe than in the hands of that bastard again.” she replied softly while sitting next to me. I let her words sink in for a moment, while trying to come up with some answer. 

“Then tell Fury. I was foolish to think I could out run my past...” I said while the memories clawed their way back into my mind. 

“Come now it’s not that bad see?!” Brock said while bringing the needle too close for comfort. I flinched back only to earn a hard slap on my left cheek. The room he held me in was white, but not the pretty, pure white. No this white was dirty almost yellow, close to turning brown. The lights were bright as if knowing they were going to burn themselves into my memory. I didn’t know what I had done to deserve this. I stopped fighting him a long time ago, so why did he keep treating me this way? His hand came around to my arm, jerking harshly for me to move. When I didn’t move fast enough he dug his nails deeper into my delicate flesh, causing me to bite down on my tongue. Tears brimmed my eyes, while metallic filled my mouth. He led me down hallway after hallway, my tears causing me to trip earning more punches or kicks, whatever Brock felt like doing. When we reached the last hallway there was only one door at the end of it. It was all black and metal by the way the light reflected off of the steel. And as if to make it worse there was a large red x painted in the center of the door, making a shiver dance up my spine. My head was pounding and I began to think this is how I will die. I began to feel betrayed, betrayed by my family for abandoning me the way they did, betrayed by my brain for it won’t cooperate with my body, and lastly betrayed by heart for ever being able to love a man like Brock; and worse of all for still loving him. He released my arm to start unlocking the door, and my body came alive. I had a minute tops to start my escape and if I were to die, well I’ll be damned if I don’t go down with a fight. I turned on my heels and sprinted down the hallway. My blood felt like it was going a billion miles an hour, my ears were ringing, and natural instinct took control. I rounded the first corner and kept going, I heard the footsteps getting closer, but I kept pushing. As I went to round my 3rd corner a hand grasped my hair and flung me back, forcing me to land on my back and head. The air that once fueled my lungs to escape completely vanished and I was left a coughing mess. My head began spinning as all the blood rushed to the injury. Brock came into view and leaned over my body. He swayed his finger in a ‘no’ motion while tutting at me. “Now sweetheart, why’d you go and get yourself hurt like that? I haven’t even shown you my surprise yet and here we are with you hurting yourself again.” he said with a dark smile. I gasped for a few more minutes trying to gain the strength to crush his heart like he did mine over and over again. “I-I-I” I stopped to inhale a breathe, my breathe coming back to me. he leaned forward before grabbing my hair and pulling my face close to his, our lips no more than a hair apart. “What was that?” he asked a scowl forming on his once handsome face. The face I used to trace and love with every fiber of my being. “I-I-I was going to sa-y... I’m not your swee-eetheart no more!” I said before spitting in his face. His eyes clouded with fury I have grown to know all too well. He dropped my face and stood up motioning for whoever that was coming to wait. “We’ll see about that Y/n...” was all he said before I felt the feeling of his foot kicking my face and everything went black. 

It tooks me a while to remember I was at Maci’s and not at that horrific place. My breaths came out uneven and short. “Y/n? I need you to breathe okay? You are having a panic attack, hands over your head. What are your favorite things in the world?” Maci asked kneeling in front of me. Tears blurred my vision, but I refused to cry. “Y-yo-you....” I paused to raise my hands over my head to allow myself better access to breathe. After a few seconds I got a deep breathe allowing me to continue. “To-ony.. m-y job... a-and.” I paused again finally getting my breathing to return back to normal. I slowly lowered my hands and looked at Maci. “And cake.” I said with a small smile. “There ya go. See, you are ok? Now how about we get that cake and a stronger concealer for your dark circles.” she said with a smile. I laughed before pushing her slightly. “Hey!” I laughed getting up and slipping on my shoes. “Well babe I don’t ever hide the truth and the truth right now is we need food in our bellies! And some new makeup!” She said before throwing her hair into a messy bun. I gazed at her for a second, before glancing at her full length mirror. “Ooo God! You’re right, I look like a racoon.” I said laughing followed by a very loud ‘mhm’. 

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Tags: They are open so if you want to be tagged when a new part comes out just let me know :) @mccloudchloe​, @buckysthing​

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

[thekingdomheartsprincess]

when kairi died part of me felt relieved

very long rant filled with run-on sentences, over-use of bold words, and over-use of italics. you’ve been warned

I’ve been holding off on my full review and thoughts on kh3 until after I get through my second playthrough. I will say, it was an overall great game and I was pleasantly surprised by a lot. I have my issues, but I’d like to hold off until I’m finished with my regular paced play through (not speedplay) before I write all my thoughts. However, one thing I really have to get out now is how absolutely disappointed and disgusted I am by kairi’s entire existence in kh3.

And just an fyi, I set the bar low going into this for her. I wasn’t expecting much, yet somehow, I was still let down harder than I thought was actually possible.To me, the highlight of kairi’s appearance in kh3 was probably going to be because she was training with axel. Therefore, with the reasoning that axel usually gets excessive screen time---you know, the guy that should have fake died twice before his actual fake death (which I’m not complaining about, just saying)...kairi would have by default gotten some of that extra relevance right??

Wrong... in a stunning turn of events they actually left axel to the side as well. He got a few good lines in, but at the end of the day he barely fights, does anything important, and somehow has his keyblade destroyed by xemnas in his first real battle with it. I’ll get back more to the truly ridiculous lack of keyblade skills later. While I’m still on the topic of axel though, let’s talk about kairi’s use as a tool to figure out axel’s feelings and xion. Like, no problems with the whole kidnapping thing, no deep connection making. Did a lot of us expect and fear that kairi would be used as a plot device for axel’s xion memories? Yes. Does it make it any better that we were prepared for it going into kh3? For me, yeah, but the real problem is it doesn’t stop there. And axel’s feelings and memories of xion were poorly included and barely mattered anyhow

Also the whole letter writing thing axel comments on, a sad excuse for not wanting to actually provide sokai interaction. “They’re more for herself”-bullshit tbh. Someone tell square enix that if they make me play another game where my girlfriend writes me letters and I can’t respond I’m gonna lose it. *cough ffxv cough* It was a sad excuse for trying to build up sokai before end game. Plus, bad writing aside, if my girl kairi is gonna be a romantic plot device forever; you could at least let her send sora those stupid letters. The poor girl is talking to him in her head. WHY

So much opportunity here to build up sokai before the end of the game. And you know what? I don’t really care about sokai anymore, or whether its canon, or if they have any moments at all in the game. But it you are going to use it as a plot device, you could at least put some effort into it. Sokai needs to be better if it is going to have such a huge direct impact on the ending of the game. Maybe this was difficult, because this really wasn’t the game for it. Everyone has a lot going on in this game, and for sora, his focus is really on getting the people connected to his heart back. He barely even talks about riku in the game! Which is completely justified, because the boy has a lot of stress on his shoulders and a lot going on. The sokai getting thrown in basically at the last minute of the game, is like white noise in the background...that shouldn’t have been there.

The paopu fruit scene felt uncomfortable and thrown in at the wrong moment. There was opportunity for this scene at the end of kh2, or before sora left the island again for 3d. Or if some effort was put into developing sokai throughout the game (which again, I don’t think this was the game for this) it could have worked. Instead, we got a scene which really wasn’t romantic in the slightest, and pretty much had “somebody or both of them is dying/being separated tomorrow” written all over it. The scene starts out of nowhere basically, riku is quite literally shoved to the side to talk to himself, kairi sort of dismisses romantic intentions when asking sora to share it with her, and sora sort of just nods his head and rolls with it. The best part, is the imagery relating to the drawings in the cave (which is admittedly beautiful). However, this is not the sokai paopu fruit scene 7 yr old me envisioned. While I certainly don’t expect to get what I wanted to see, this is almost an insult to all of the build up to this moment in previous games.

What would have been the only wonderful and meaningful sokai scene in the game, is the one where kairi is able to help sora basically escape death and light his way through the darkness or whatever. The whole “I’m going to keep you safe now” and “you make me feel stronger” thing is really sweet as an out of context scene if I knew nothing else about kh3. The problem is, this isn’t really true. Kairi doesn’t keep sora safe, and the limits of her strength seem to be in that one cutscene. Not to mention, this already happened. We literally saw this same thing happen in kh1-and it was a better scene.

Maybe I could believe kairi’s determination behind her words if she was able to even lift her keyblade when she’s being attacked, or put up a fight against her kidnapper (i mean come on, even belle got to elbow xaldin), or finish a battle against someone who was not an alternate version of herself (or remotely believably on xehanort’s side for more than a second). Seriously, she did more with her keyblade knocking out a few heartless in kh2. That scene was actually cooler. I am truly disgusted that I have to even think that. It’s not that I thought she would go up from kh2, but I surely didn’t think she would go soooooo far down. 

They totally shot themselves in the foot with the whole merlin’s magic excuse. Axel and kairi show up as if they just got the keyblade 20 seconds before the keyblade war, yet supposedly they had unlimited time to train. Maybe we’ll get some bs excuse on how it “wasn’t exactly unlimited time” later, but seriously? If you were going to have both of them fail so miserably, you could have used the short training time as an excuse!! Why would you write yourself out of that excuse, just to give me these pathetic jokes of keyblade wielders. By all logical reasoning, if they had unlimited time to train, they should have both shown up stronger that xehanort and eraqus combined. Like did they just settle after they could shoot magic at x number of moving objects in merlin’s training facility???

She may not have done much, but by the time we saw her get mercilessly stabbed for no real logical reason I was relieved. Relieved that I might finally not have to watch this anymore, and can just go into all future kh games without having to worry about what they will do with her character. I want to say I was pissed, upset even, that they killed her off like that. Confused as to how this helps xehanort’s plan? Absolutely. I mean, wouldn’t that ruin his 7 princesses part 2 backup plan if he needed it? Wouldn’t the last key form as soon as he killed kairi? Were the 7 lights going to stop fighting him there? Was he just being a cruel dick? I don’t have the answers. But I will say that I didn’t actually get angry, until xehanort stole her fucking lines. “One sky, one destiny” She doesn’t even have that anymore. The significance of those lines, now can’t just be kairi’s but has to be shared with the man who killed her. Could it get any worse? Yes! Because sora has to go and do some strongly hinted form of self sacrifice for her again. Turning the shit show writing of kairi into probably the most detrimental part of the story. 

Now, its playing such a huge role in kh3 and future kh games. It makes the major plot point of the ending of the game suffer. There’s no kairi for me to appreciate that would make me care about her dying, the one really good moment sora shares with kairi is hardly based in reality, and what’s supposed to be used as a way for sora to prove himself doesn’t really do that. He already sacrificed himself for kairi. What more is this proving? And with no excuse for kairi’s lack of training or presence in the game, I’m confused as to how this happened or why I’m supposed to care. However Nomura needed this to end up to set up future kh games, was this really the only way to do it? 

I wish I could say I just personally cared this much about feminism in kingdom hearts, and that’s why I’m so disappointed by this complete and utter failure of writing a character, but that’s not even it. When I was little I loved kairi because she was like a new disney princess in a video game, and I was heartbroken when sora told her she couldn’t come with him for the rest of his adventure. That she would just “get in his way.” 23 year old me is still pissed and not letting go. Even more frustrating, is that square enix has (deliberately or not) ignored a large part of the fandom who just asked for a little bit better. The kairi bar was low, and square enix did the limbo rock under it. (bad joke i know, it’s 2:30 am and i should be sleeping)

I’ll shut up now, but be aware i’m screaming “and another thing about kairi in kh3!” every hour on the hour in my mind

[survivor-ingary]

Episode 2 - "I DON'T WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE" - Ellie

At the tribal, Ping was voted out of the Pendragon Tribe nearly unamimously. Tribal immunity for this round is Pictionary.

I bet all these bitches know i voted for Keith and now they are going to come kill me in my sleep if i die i blame dylan

yass round 2 i either think im in the best position on this tribe or theyre all secretly coming for me thats all

Tribal went as well as I expected it to go. No major drama. It seems like Keith is in real trouble if we do go to tribal again though which would put me in a very tricky spot. For now, though, I will be trying my best in the upcoming challenge. The problem is, however, timezones and schedules. Jon is going to be our drawer, but he can only do it tonight or in the early afternoon tomorrow which I will not be there for. Additionally, Keith is asleep so we have no idea what his schedule is going to be so we basically had to schedule the challenge without him. And Nya could only do right before the deadline tomorrow which Jon cannot do. I hate this for us, truly. I just hope that Moth and I can rub our brain cells together for this one so that we can pull out a win. OR somehow the other tribes fail horribly. On the bright side, I am finally starting to catch up on Duolingo exercises. They're a lot easier than I thought, but it is still going to be tedious af to save up enough coins for some of the higher end products at the shop. As a final note, I am going to work with Nya in the long term as we promised each other to. Hopefully that actually works out. Time to actually be loyal and be a hero this time around. Need to try something different.

If we lose this challenge, I will be very upset. We went so hard on this challenge!!! I believe that we can at least get second place, but I don't know how crazy the other tribes are. So, let's see what goes on

Ayyyyy soooooooo looks like the four, Colin, me, Ava, and Brayden are officially in an alliance!? I’m really hyped to be working with everybody and already have sights on who should go if we have to go to tribal 👀 but like I’m gonna feel so bad if we go to tribal and I orchestrate a whole plan to take someone out I gotta do it when I’m not in my feels and the planets aren’t fucking with my emotions too heavy. But go alliance ! This means I’ll be able to stay safe until hopefully a merge and hopefully we can avoid a tribe swap till then which I get those vibe from it !! But I’ll be here to survive two more tribals just in case which is pretty rad. Other then that hopefully me offering to draw doesn’t end us up in the bottom and we can keep killing ! But anyways that is it as off know hopefully I have a lot more coins tomorrow morning and I get hit the hat shop bright and motherfucking early.

Just got asked to be apart of an alliance <33333 the besties in the group trust me which maybe ain't the right move but for now we gotta love the bonding. exciting!!!

YAY FOR ROUND 2! Okay, so I meet once again with the Hat Shop and... third times the charm! Except,,, the charm is getting nothing AGAIN lmao I'm not complaining though, still got that extra vote :P I stayed up at 1 AM for this challenge, and I honestly think our team popped off. Anastasia was guessing a ton, and Riley was amazing at drawing real quick! I have a relatively good feeling about our performance, so I hope I wake up to the news of our tribe being immune :D

so yesterday I set myself on a mission to get an alliance. I wanted Ava + Brayden + Toph + me as a majority alliance. it was our day off from tribal so I thought it was the perfect day to do it!! I talked to Brayden about it first because he's the person I feel the most comfortable with, and then after a lot of coordination and careful communication I was able to pull it together!! I think the most important thing when making alliances is making everyone feel like they're a big part in it. So I was careful to ask each person how they feel about the others, about the game, and made a point to say that I wanted to work with them specifically. Some may call that a little manipulative, but I wanna make sure that I'm an essential part of the alliance!! i need everyone to feel like they need/want me there.

all of this happening so soon into the game is a testament to how aggressive I'm playing this time around. I usually like to lay low and just rely solely on my social game in the start, but I'm trying this out to establish myself early on! I wanted to play the tribe leader and I think I'm doing that in a smart and subtle way!!

so yes now we have a 4 person majority alliance named "duolingo owl hate club" because fuck that guy. I think we're the 4 most active and present people on the tribe so it's only natural for us to work together, but I think it's definitely worth noting that I was the one that was pulling the strings here.

We just did the pictionary challenge, I have a good feeling about it!! Toph was an amazing artist, and if we win, all credit rightfully goes to him!! I think the guessers also did great of course, but like come on, the artist has to be the mvp. I'm really hoping we pull through!! I don't mind going to tribal, but I genuinely don't wanna vote anyone out yet. I'm fine just playing the game in a precautionary way. I know I'm in a great position if we do go to tribal, but it's always preferred that we don't go.

Everyone else on my tribe: doing the challenge and kicking ass

Me: I’m sleep

Riley (Tumblr has once again chosen violence so only the first 10 get banners 🥲)

I think our challenge went pretty well! My team were good guessers. Feeling like I've established some Integrity now. Hope it keeps me safe later!

Toph Soooooo we finished the challenge with 32 points and like wig !! I was a quick as drawer for 32pts expect when my internet lagged, but still ! I think we whooped some ass and if we do go to tribal I know it won’t be me going, thanks to Duolingo owl hate club but I’m also worried same could have and advantage because they seem pretty kean on learning a lot in like 3 hours and then tried to cover that statement to not seem so threatening but like babs s a huge threat too apparently they love Duolingo and know 5 laugnes ? This is from brayden but If so go babs ! That’s absolutely iconic for real Life but fucking scary in this game ! I gotta be buddy buddy with them so hopefully if they do have something it won’t be them going home first and it will be Ava. But I’m thinking we might get second place again unless someone is a fucking wizard at this.

Dennis hmm i think we did well enough in the challenge to not see tribal tomorrow but who knows i guess we shall find out tn

the way ellie was so on top of stuff yesterday only to oversleep the challenge makes me giggle maybe shes freaking out about it which makes me also giggle but i dont think its really a big deal

anastasia asked me to call yesterday and i was like sure lets talk but it is damn near impossible to hold a conversation with her idk i tried BUT she did tell me “yeah i just got off a call with ellie” im like i see. she says shes down to work with ellie but that quickly switched from ellie being ~experienced~ but good to know ellie is also playing hard. anastasia also mentioned that she talks to riley a fair amount who i still have yet to connect to well. but dat makes me think ellie is def talking to riley too miss debate team is definitely a talker. but good on her for the social game i guess

kenneth keeps being like haha we’re the same person and im like yeah👁 i bet we are👁

i just wanna win and not think about tribal just keep it slow and chill for now keep learnin my welsh i guess

Ava Second challenge was Pictionary and I had a ton of fun playing. The tea is: toph did a great job. He was pretty vocal about not being a great artist but really I think he did great. However, Babs was super inactive yesterday and ~too late~ said they were a great artist and should've been picked to draw. It was kind of like.... k babs thanks for the belated "help". They did do great guessing which scored a point in my book. Brayden was supposed to play but last minute logged off without saying anything so we did the challenge without him :/ sorta a bummer. Anyway the lack of participation from Sam is kind of popping off so we'll see where that leads them... Overall a fun game and fingers crossed we did well!

Moth I think we did okay at the challenge. Today I am dying from the heatwave so I’m not thinking too straight! Stay cool everyone

Ellie So yesterday Anastasia and I called for about an hour!!! I’d say we’re definitely way closer, she’s someone I really wanna work with although the idea of her and Brayden eventually being on the same tribe is kinda scary cause I know how close they are. Still she’s so fun to talk to and I just love her energy so much!

Pictionary challenge results: Jenkins Tribe wins with Penadragon second, Hatter Tribe has to go to tribal council on the following day.

Ava Well well well seems our bob ross, toph, didn't pull through (y'all think babs would've pulled it out for us or slept through our challenge like they said they almost did?) I can't wait for tribal. I'm in it for the drama. I'm hashtag voting Sam off - didn't even bother to be apart of our challenge and not too sure they've even been online for a full 24 hours. Weed out the weak.....

Anastasia

Brayden https://imgur.com/n60Lz0c

guys i dont know what to do someone help me out

Dennis i hope damn brayden gets the boot

Raffy Woo! We don't have to go to tribal again! We stan!

Ellie So I figured I’d go idol hunting today cause the shop was about to close and I just wanted to see what had been bought and what possible hats there were, I see that there’s a hat I have enough for that hasn’t been bought and I decide fuck it let’s get it

APPARENTLY ITS SOMETHING THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW TO USE IT YET???? THEY SAID ILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT LATER

I DONT WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE

Sam Well you see. I like all my tribe people. And I think we did real good on that music video! So, I think rather than voting anyone else off, I think I should just vote myself off if that is possible! Ahhh

Babs So sad to see Sam not only go but go through what they're going through :( same w Toph :( they all seem so lovely

Keith Not sure if i submitted a confession after the last tribal. But if I didnt here it is.

Happy I made it out of that tribal. I had raffy backing me with whom I played. Last time we played. We were at odds. We didnt work together but whats worse that we were against each other. It was either him or me goin out. Hopefully thats the past n we can work together. I jus need to keep things calm n show that Im not here itching to make big moves. So they dont feel threatened by me. N its easy cause right now. I havnt made that kind og bond with anyone on my tribe. To even think of such moves. Lets see what round two holds for me.

Colin so uh

we lost! :(

I was really bummed tbh. Like I thought we did well but circumstances with the challenge were just really unfortunate, from conflict about who wanted to be the artist to people disappearing the moment the challenge started, I think we did well despite all of that. Except we did kinda get stomped anyway. Oh well!! The game moves on. Tribal has to happen.

Initially I was gonna push for Babs, just because I feel like I don't wanna attach myself to them too early on. I've seen how much of a bitter player they can be, and lets just say I'm not the most loyal ally to have. however! 9 minutes after we lost, Ava announces to our alliance that she's voting Sam. I wasn't surprised, Sam has been the one not really pulling their weight. But I had some good connections with her!! we both did colorguard and shes so sweet and easy to talk to. I was really conflicted for a little bit, debating on whether or not to actually push for Babs. I think brayden sensed my hesitance but we both knew there was nothing really I could do to stop Sam from being the vote. At first tribal, the initial name always spreads like wildfire.

However, my mess was stopped abruptly by Sam asking to be voted out. welp!! okay then!! babs stays i guess!! i'm not too bothered. I'll never turn down an easy vote hehe.

Pretty sure there's a swap tonight. I'm kinda scared of that

uwu

Brayden

i almost forgot to upload this but dont worry i just remembered

Colin screams

Toph So we’re going to tribal in 20 and all I have to say right now is if there is a tribe swap after I’m gonna so scared but I ducking called I had a vibe and it was right that’s what is gonna win me this game trusting my intuition. I’m holding on now and gonna be the biggest comp beast next challenge in case I get fucked on this swap !!!! Or at least if it is a swap 🤔

Riley I don't know what this announcement's gonna be I'm worriedddd... Ginny said it probably means we're swapping teams but I don't wannaaaa I like our team.

Toph Sam self sacrificing made this the easiest vote ever and me being safe is a plus I guess 😎

[beleunawrites]

10 Reasons why Filipinos Loves KDrama better than Philippine Telenovelas

Disclaimer: The 10 reasons where originally from Quexbook (here’s the link:https://faq.ph/10-reasons-why-filipinos-are-attracted-to-korean-dramas/ ) but I’m adding my own thoughts here. 

(This post is not intended to bash the people hating on Kdrama but rather to educate them on what made us hooked.The comparison is given to at least be an eye opener. I hope it helps. There are also photos of Kdrama recommendation for each item listed below which shows what I’m talking about. I included mainstream and non mainstream ones)

1. ATTRACTIVE ACTORS

Don’t get me wrong in this one, PH also has very attractive actors. Hello we have Daniel Padilla, Joshua Garcia, Quen, James Reid and other mainstream and non mainstream actors of today’s generation. BUT, in KDrama, it feels so refreshing to see such actors “whiter than white”, if you know what I’m taking about. Pero hindi lahat about those attractive actors, there are normal looking guys or maybe mediocre looking guys that we still fall for kahit di sila ganon ka visually attractive. Why? because of their character. KDrama gives us a lingering feeling that the less unattractive guy deserves better aka as Second Lead Syndrome. Unlike in PH, you make the second lead (not just males but also females) a villain, someone to be hated, someone who’s vicious and doesn’t know anything but to hold guns and fight and kidnap someone they can’t get the one they love. Srsly PH, Action genre is too much now, there’s always violence around PH’s telenovelas. It’s sickening and just too cliche. 

(FIGHT FOR MY WAY, Second lead is normal looking, hindi masyadong attractive pero I fell for hime. Plus Choi Ae Ra is really adorable. MUST WATCH)

2. STORYLINES ARE NOT EASY TO PREDICT

PH has Twins who where separated at birth or there’s always someone who’s cheating. C’mon, let’s step up our game, let’s not make the story line too cliche. Like everything in PH Drama is easily predictable. Kdrama has been experimenting with different fields e.g. Medicine, Law, Food, and even Construction. They can write a script with everything under the sun and Not a single KDrama that I’ve watched has the same storyline. What made it happen? I think the writers in KDramas are focusing on the whole impact rather than just a single episode they don’t focus on making the drama extend it’s airing. It’s always 16 episodes that’s why you keep on wanting for more. There’s always cliffhanger moments wishing for another season. 

(WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING- most KDRAMAS naman kakaiba. Just added it here for recommendation. AND SECOND MALE LEAD SYNDROME Hae In deserves better!)

3. MAJORITY ARE G-RATED

Ph can’t produce a lot of G-rated dramas. Why? again because there’s always violence, guns and punching on TV. Well I can’t blame them entirely because it its somehow the status quo in PH, where there is violence and the military power is becoming stronger. In Kdrama, stories can be viewed by almost the whole family and the start of the drama says “Viewers should be 15 years and above” or something. Yes, we have MTRCB in Ph saying G, PG and SPG. But it’s too vague. Why not put in the age of who can watch the drama or not? Don’t give me that shit na dapat bantayan ng magulang ng maayos or kasalanan yun ng magulang kase hinahayaan nya manuod ng ganon anak nya. 

(Hi, Bye, mama- grabe itooooo, must watch madlang people. Kakatapos lang fresh na fresh)

4. CULTURAL APPEAL

There’s always Kdrama produced for the reminiscing of their history and culture. It reminds their people of what usually their country is like during the older times. Like every single year, there’s always a historical drama. History and other subjects  is not just to be learnt at school. You can also learn it while watching TV. C’mon PH, let’s do more dramas that can help students impart more knowledge. 

(MOON EMBRACING THE SUN- Madami ng dumaan na historical KDrama na magaganda pero number one parin ito sa puso ko)

5.CREATIVITY IS APPARENT

Walang loveteam, laging fresh and new yung partners. You won’t be fed with pairings na minsan nakakasawa na. There’s always love team culture in PH. Pero it’s good na PH is experimenting with fresh pairs like Hello, love, goodbye ni Kath and Alden. that movie is liberating to the fact the they destroyed the norm na dapat KathNiel lang ang pair. Sobrang creative lang talaga nila with pairing and everyone they pair has chemistry. Pero hindi lang pairing yung creative. ofc yung plot. There are a lot of fictitious and futuristic vibes sa KDrama But it ain’t baduy or anything kase maganda din CG nila. Hindi puchu puchu. Sa totoo lang, kaya naman ng Pilipinas, madaming talented at magagaling ng CG artists at technologically driven people in PH. Sobrang daming talented na Pinoy dyan when it comes to computer pero ang nangyayare, they are being ridiculed at underpaid din sila. They deserve more. At hindi basta basta ang talent nila. 

(MELTING ME SOFTLY- GUYS IT’s JI CHANG WOOK HELLO, PANOORIN NYO TO. SUPER GANDA DIN AT CREATIVE NITO!! MUST WATCH)

6. ROMANTIC STORY WITHOUT THE NEED OF OBSCENE SCENES

The plot can go around, thinking that the main leads are all lovey-dovey and meant to be even without kissing. YES, you’ve read it right. There are Kdramas with couples not kissing and yet you’ll feel like “Ooooh, they are so meant to be” or “OMH, match made in heaven, they are so cute”. There’s still kilig, and the chemistry is soooooo goooood. PERO HINDI LANG SA MAIN LEAD TUMATAKBO YUNG STORY, there’s also love happening with second leads. Hindi lahat nagf-focus sa bida, there are also struggles and lovelines among the other characters. Hindi porket extra sila e wala na silang story to tell. Hindi lang bida ang bida, lahat may chance na mag shine

(Touch your heart- Ito grabe ang cute cute lang nito. As in yung kilig sobrang war  sa heart. Di kailangan na nagkikiss sila lagi para kiligin ka. It’s a good feel KDrama)

7. GREAT OST

well, Magaganda din naman OST ng PH (some of it). Wala ako masyado masasabi about the OST. Pero think of it this way, isn’t it amazing na kahit ibang language yon e nagc-click parin sa tao? Why? because sobrang match nya sa story at yung feels damang dama mo talaga. 

(Kung OST Pag uusapan maganda talaga sa Goblin pero itong irerecommend ko ay LOVE LOVE LIE, ganda din OST nito. Panoorin nyo para malaman nyo. 

8. COOL CLOTHES

Dito naman, di natin masisisi kase yung clothing naka base sa climate ng PH same with Korea. Pero ang cool lang talaga ng clothes nila tingnan, super cute and preppy. 

(CLOY- Lalayo pa ba tayo? MAMANG SON YE JIN AT SEO JI HYE)

9. VOCABULARY STRETCH

We learn a lot of words while watching subs. But we don’t just learn english words, there’s also some korean words. But that’s not the important thing here. We learn a lot of jargons depending on the drama we are watching. For example, watching a drama about prosecutors and lawyers, we learn a lot of terms about the law and how court proceedings happen. 

(LEarned a lot of Psychological terms with this drama. It’s okay that’s Love)

10. CREATE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH THE VIEWERS

Minsan tinatanong ko rin sarili ko. Why am I so hooked with this? Bakit nakakainis, bakit nakakatawa, bakit nakakaiyak? Why am I crying for something I can’t even relate that much too? I never experienced it but it’s just so catching na you’ll cry with the characters. Perfect acting, Perfect story and Perfect OST. Pag pinagsama-sama mo yon lahat, BOOM! maiiyak ka talaga. You’ll feel the pain of the characters. Ibang iba talaga sya. 

ALL OF THESE THINGS I’M SAYING, YOU WON’T GET IT UNLESS YOU WATCH KDRAMA. Kaya kung nagbubulagbulagan ka pa rin, why not try and watch a few. Buksan mo ang mata at tenga mo, wag mong isarado sa mga bagong konspeto. Let’s go PH, let’s Up our game. Hindi porket we are experiencing this pandemic e titigil na tayo para mag progress. It’s 2020, Iba na ang viewers ngayon, hindi na kagaya ng dati. I’m no expert. I’m just stating my opinion as a viewer. at isa pa. Wag nyo sana ako ma misunderstood ha, Marami din naman PH Telenovela na maganda and will always have a place in my heart kay sana wag nyong isipin na oanay KDrama pina-patronize ko. I’m a supporter for all at kaya ko sinasabi yung mga to ay para din naman mabigyan ng idea yung mga nasa industry today. YUN LANG! HEHEHEHE

(GRABE LANG TALAGA AT SOBRANG MAPANAKIT NETO! SCARLET HEART RYEO)

MADAMI PA AKONG KAYANG I RECOMMEND, COMMENT LANG KAYO KUNG ANO GUSTO NYO MADAMA, rereplyan ko kayo base sa trip nyong panuorin na genre!

[buckywintersoldierbarnes2017]

A Hidden Pain - Part 9

Original request from anon: Could you please write a Bucky x reader where she works as the teams assistant? She’s got a violent bf but no one knows about it until he assaults her at one of Starks parties. Bucky steps in and kicks his ass. He helps her move out of her place to live with him since he’s got his own floor at the tower.

Note: Thank you to the amazing @buckysmetal-arm for being my beta on this! Bless her for reading through soooooo many words! I definitely got carried away with this particular chapter. I am loving this story so much I really don’t want it to end anytime soon! :’( Bucky x Abused!Reader (Steve x Reader) Words: 3,462 (#sorrynotsorry!) Warnings: Drunken behaviour, language, angst, upset, mentions of injury and abuse .....think that’s pretty much it really for this chapter. Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their wonderful reators <3

A Hidden Pain Masterlist

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

“That is completely unfair Steve!” Your voice rings out around the research facility as you throw a fistful of paper money at the blonde sat across from you. An action of which was met with a satisfied laugh from him. “Not only have you bought the two most expensive places on the board but you’ve now put hotels on them?! No wonder Bucky always told me never to play this game with you.”

“That’s because Buck has always been a sore loser and doesn’t like the fact that I can well and truly kick his arse in this game.” He counted each and every note you had just handed to him almost as though he was making sure you weren’t trying to con him, a shit-eating grin that Bucky would have been proud of stretching from one ear to the other. “…and by the current pout you’re throwing my way I am beginning to think that you two have even more in common with each other.”

A glare was the next thing to be thrown in his direction as you folded your arms across your chest in a huff and turned your attention to the capsule that was standing not too far from where you were sat.

“I hope you’re listening to this Bucky. When you wake up I think it’s about time we dial down Captain America’s ego here.”

There was a playful smile spreading across your lips but the one that had been decorating Steve’s soon faded as he watched you speaking to his best friend. The thin lies appearing on his forehead showed the concern he was currently feeling towards you.

“[y/n]….”

You hate that tone, you had heard it more than once, and so immediately you roll your eyes before turning to look at him.

“Don’t.”

It’s the only word that leaves your lips but it is all you feel you need to say to him because you knew exactly where he was about to take this conversation and you didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s been over a year and they are still no closer to finding a way to wipe those words from his mind. You can’t stay down here any longer.”

You run your tongue along your cheeks and gum, holding back the annoyance you felt at his words, and stood yourself up from the table. He should know by now that you didn’t care whether it took another ten or twenty years you were going to stay down here until he woke up. You had failed him once before and you were damned if you were going to do that to him again.

Steve stood himself up not long after you and his hand reached out to grip your arm before you tried to move further away from him. As you looked into those blue eyes of his you did so with such intensity that you actually realised there was the smallest hint of green inside of them….you had never noticed that trait of his before.

“I know you don’t want to hear it but what kind of life are you really living down here? In fact….when was the last time you went out and got something as simple as some fresh air?”

It was a simple enough question but he knew it was one you couldn’t answer. You hadn’t been on any other level of the tower since finding out Bucky was down here; all your rehabilitation from the injuries you had suffered had been done here, your work was always delivered by either Vision or Steve, and the research team had even transformed a store cupboard close to the capsule into a room so that you had somewhere to sleep. You no longer rented your apartment so this was now your home.

“I’m fine here Steve. I get regular exercises, the research team make sure I am okay, and I still get all my work done and more.” You look at your hands as they come to rest on the door of Bucky’s capsule and your eyes close as you rest your forehead against it. “He was always there for me…..I can’t let him down now Steve. There’s nothing for me outside th0se doors. Not anymore.”

THREE YEARS AGO.

You were stood outside Bucky’s room door and the amount of time you spent standing there your intense stare could have burnt right through the steel. If Josh ever found out you were here, especially outside this particular door, there would be hell to pay….more so than you had already experienced tonight back at home.

No. You shouldn’t be here at all.

Turning on the balls of your feet you were more than ready to just walk away right now and just deal with whatever mood your boyfriend would be in when you got back home but you head the door to his room and before you could go anywhere you found yourself face to face with him…..a little TOO face to face given that the tips of your noses were pretty much brushing across one another’s.

“[y/n]? What are yo-“ His blue eyes look down towards your hand and spots the two metal spoons along with the tub of ice cream and the perplexed expression that had once been on his face softened to a more worried one. “Another fight with Josh?”

You nod silently before showing him the flavour of the ice cream you had picked up from the store.

“Its peanut butter cup…..our favourite.”

You smile as much as you can despite the horrendous night you’d had and within seconds you felt his flesh hand taking hold of your free one and pulling you into his room. It didn’t matter to him that he was about to go to the gym and have a workout, vent the frustration he was feeling from the nightmares he’d had the previous night, because you needed his attention and in his eyes you were far more important than the need to go to the gym.

“Well I guess since you have brought our favourite I can hardly kick you to the curb can I?” He threw you a playful wink before pulling you down onto the couch in his room to sit next to him. As you fell down onto the dark grey cushions a grimace crossed your face. To anyone else they probably wouldn’t have noticed but Bucky’s caring eyes had been on you the whole time so he saw the whole thing. “You okay [y/n]?”

“Other than causing yet another fight? Yeah….I guess.”

There was a hint of hesitance in the undertone of your words and immediately he took the ice cream and spoons from your grip and placed them onto the floor as he took both your hands in his. You had known him for over a year now and still the feeling of both hot and cold when you had your hands in his took you by surprise, causing your breath to catch inside your throat. Your eyes glanced down to his metal hand, the one that he had been so scared of having anywhere near you when you had first met, and yet now he was comfortable enough to use it to show his concern for you.

“Don’t hate me for asking you this doll but did he…..” Your heart raced during his short pause as he contemplated whether he should be asking you this or not because you knew EXACTLY what he was going to ask you. “…hurt you?”

Great. Now you were going to have to risk your friendship by lying to him.

“Oh you mean because of that wince?” You had been doing this for years now, covering up what Josh does to you when he is angry, so the whole act comes like second nature to you. “Stop panicking….I was so angry and upset as I was leaving the house that I walked into the front door okay?”

You noticed his brow raising and the expression on his face that silently said ‘seriously?’ and immediately you threw his own expression back at him.

“Yes. Seriously Bucky. So you can stop looking at me like that. Especially given that you walked right into the fridge the other day.”

“I’m hurt that, as a good friend, you would make me remember that.”

Almost as though you were attuned to one another the corners of your lips tugged up into a playful smirk thrown in the others direction before he launched his metal arm towards the ticklish spot near your hip. A scream erupted from you as you fell back on the sofa, your foot kicking the tub of ice cream over as Bucky hovered his broad frame over you, his hand was mercilessly attacking your hip and you had to hold back the winces of pain each time he hit the bloodied bruise covering it.

Then as quickly as he had started the attack he stopped but remained over you as his metal fingers moved up to your hair and started to gently play with the locks of your [h/c] hair.

“You know that I would protect you right?”

“Well I would hope so given that’s what The Aven-“

“I don’t mean because it’s my job. I care about you [y/n] and if I was to find out that anyone had hurt you or so much as even tried to…”

You felt the grip of his metal fingers tightening on the locks of your hair as a darkness flashed in the eyes that were boring into yours. Not wanting him to lose yourself you removed his fingers and intertwined them with yours.

“I know Bucky. Thank you. But don’t ever lose who you are just for me. I’m not worth it. Now however much I love soppy moments I am kinda wanting to eat that ice cream before it becomes completely liquefied.”

“Fuck, sorry!”

He scrambled off you, rather clumsily to say the least, and reached out for the frozen treat you had brought around. Had you not been so focused on the new pain radiating from your injured side you might have caught a glimpse of the super soldier’s cheeks blushing a deep crimson colour.

“I know you don’t have Buck right now [y/n] but there is still a lot here for you.” By the tone in his voice it was clear that your words had hit him harder than you had meant for them to but before you could turn to apologise to him you find him standing by your side as a hand came to rest on your shoulder. “You’ve got me for a start. I care for you and, actually, I would consider you my family just as much as I would Buck.”

“Really?”

You and Steve had always been close and until Bucky had appeared in your life he had been the closest friend you had here but you hadn’t once thought he would see you as family. It truly warmed your heart to hear him say that  and despite the immense sadness that consumed you on a daily basis it was enough to bring a genuinely grateful smile to your lips as you rested your head onto his shoulder.

“Really.” His hand fell from your shoulder and came to rest on your waist instead as he pulled you into him more. “Which is why if you’re going to continue to be stubborn and not leave this room to socialise then I am going to bring the socialising to you.”

A childish groan leaves your lips as you roll your eyes, a reaction that amuses Steve far more than it should have done.

“Oh good god Rogers what have you done?”

“That’s Captain Rogers to you grumpy pants. Now just go and freshen yourself up. I will be back with you soon.”

You didn’t move right away, your eyes having narrowed to look at your friend in a rather suspicious manner, but when you felt his hand playfully hitting your arse you yelped out and pushed him away with a smile.

“You are going to pay for that.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…..I know that’s just an empty threat. Be ready in an hour!”

He left the room before you had a chance to send a snarky remark his way and when you were in the room with just Bucky you glanced over to him with a slight pout on your face.

“Now I can see why you call him ‘punk’ …..I am so making a tally chart of how many times you need to punch him in the arm when you are awake again by the way.”

                                         * * * * * * * * * *

The room that even on a busy day would only be home to five people at the most now seemed to be fit to burst with the people Steve had invited down to this little makeshift party. You still couldn’t believe he had done this, you had never been a party person because with Josh as a boyfriend he’d never allowed you to……so if this was his way of making you feel better or more at ease about things it wasn’t working.

“[y/n]! Beautiful, gorgeous, sexy [y/n]!” Right on cue to make you realise this night actually was capable of getting worse was a rather intoxicated Tony Stark. “How’s the icicle doing today?” He wrapped an arm around your shoulder pulling you into him with such force that you almost spilled your entire drink on the floor but it didn’t seem to faze him at all.

“Bucky is fine. Thank you for asking.”

There is a bitterness to your tone that even someone as drunk as Tony could sense and within seconds his arm had been removed from around you and he backed away with both hands in the air as though he was silently surrendering. Throwing back the entire glass of champagne you had in your hand you quickly reached for another…..you were going to need a serious amount of alcohol to get through this night.

“That’s more like it [y/n]! I knew there was a party girl inside of you somewhere!”

Natasha made her way over to you with a rather sheepish looking Wanda at her side and although you were hardly in the ‘party’ mood you’d never had anything against the girls and so you greeted them both with a hug. More than grateful to see them.

“Hey you two. It’s great seeing you! I have seriously missed having some girly company.”

“Don’t you worry….we’re invading your peace down here tomorrow for a girly night so be prepared!”

The redhead’s voice seemed to get louder and louder as her excitement grew and eventually you just found yourself laughing out loud as Wanda threw you an apologetic look and pulled her away.

“I will go get this rowdy one another drink. We will speak to you in a bit.”

Rolling your eyes you down your second glass of champagne; shortly followed by a third when Sam came over and started throwing the usual digs towards Bucky around and then a fourth when Scott tried to shrink himself to show off to a couple of girls only to fuck it up royally and end up falling backwards into the capsule holding the man you loved.

Luckily Steve was there to chuck him out of the room quickly enough to stop you from going over to him yourself. Given the headache that was beginning to it you that was more than just luck. This is why after over a year of not drinking you shouldn’t down so many glasses in quick procession….something which you were regretting rather badly.

“I knew I should have kept an eye on you….how much have you drunk?”

Your vision was betraying you right now offering you nothing more than some blurry lines but the voice was recognisable as Steve’s instantly. Instead of responding to him with some kind of remark to feign soberness a giddy laugh rolled from your lips instead….and it wasn’t one that only lasted for mere seconds either. It went on, and on, and on until there really was a look of concern etching across his handsome face.

“I dunno bu-but….” Clearing your throat as a wave of nausea hits you your words only stop for a few seconds before start again. “…certainly more than you granddad! Y-You organised this….you should be having fun too!”

In your intoxicated state you hadn’t even noticed that he had been leading you into your makeshift room, not until you felt the backs of your legs hitting the end of it as he sat you down.

“Well someone needed to look after you didn’t they? Bucky would kick my arse into the other side of next year if he ever found out I just left you to your own devices when you were drunk.”

“You…..Captain Rogers….” Your hand clumsily cups his chin as you move him to look at you. “…are spectacularly wonderful! I-If I didn....” A dry hiccup hit your throat at that point and you held up a finger to signal for him to wait a moment as he simply looked at you with an amused expression. “If I wasn’t hopelessly in love with your best friend I would totally have kissed you right now.”

He stood himself up at that point, shaking his head as a boyish laugh sounded out from him, and as he turned to your chest of drawers to grab some pyjamas he made a mental note to himself that he needed to loosen you up on more occasions because you were highly entertaining.

“Now I know you are stupidly drunk so ho-“

He turned back to face you only to see that you had curled up onto your bed in a foetal position and were now fast asleep. A soft smile crept onto his face as he carefully crawled along the bed and nestled himself beside you, an arm protectively holding you close to him as he soon drifted off himself.

                                      * * * * * * * * * *

A pained groan left you long before you were able to force your eyes open….your eyes that felt like they had two lead weights attached to them. You had never been hit by a truck before, or even a car for that matter, but as you dragged your hungover self out of your bed you were pretty damn sure that this must have been a good representation of how it felt.

“Never….drinking….again…..”

You mutter the words underneath your breath as you claw through the darkness that envelops your windowless room until you feel the cold metal of the door handle underneath your fingertips. Your throat feels drier than the Sahara Desert right now and the only thing that was going to stop you from barfing there and then is an ice cold glass of water. In your tired daze you didn’t even notice the fact that Steve had been beside you in your bed.

The bright light of the research room not only blinded you, causing you to squint in an attempt to protect your reddened eyes, but probably also illuminated to anyone in the room just how awful a state you were in right now; hair looking like you had been dragged through a hedge backwards, dress from the night before still on, and no doubt your make up had run a little too…..oh the research team were going to just love you today.

“Doll?”

Your attempts at walking stopped as your entire body seemed to just freeze on the spot that voice….it had only been heard in your dreams for so long and yet now it sounded like it was in the very same room as you. Rather reluctantly, thanks to the ridiculously bright lights of the room, you opened your eyes only to be met with a certain brunette looking at you from one of the medical tables.

“B-Buck?”

The calling of his name came out more like an anguished cry as a whole onslaught of emotions hit you at that moment your mind not knowing whether to have your body running over to him or simply falling to the floor. A decision he seemed to be making for you as he climbed down from the table; but before he had even taken his first step towards you the look on his face changed from one of delight to one of pure confusion.

“Steve?”

“What?”

His confusion must have been catching because your brows were furrowed now too and as you followed his line of sight you were taken aback completely when you saw Steve stood behind you……coming out of your room.

“Exactly how long have I been fucking out for?!”

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[illneverrecover]

the biggest tag ever

@joz-stankovich tagged me in this because they are so sweet and kind, bless.

THE LAST:

1. DRINK:  water, I’m lame. 2. PHONE CALL:  today at work, I call patients all day long. Last personal call was to the doc for my kid. 3. TEXT MESSAGE: my last text was to a group text with my husband and our two friends - “We still bringing yeungling to Denver though, right??” (We leave for Denver Comic Con on Thursday morning and Yeungling is a good ass beer, ok???) 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO:  Black Sheep  - Metric 5. TIME YOU CRIED: Oh god, probably two days ago or so? HAVE YOU: -6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE:  yes, then I married him, so it worked out alright. 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: eh, not really?  8. BEEN CHEATED ON: yes 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yeah - my husband’s granny passed away last year, and we were super close. She always supported us even when we were young and dumb, and inspired me to become a nurse so she is missed immensely. 10. BEEN DEPRESSED: yes 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: ugh yes, though its been quite some time since that’s happened (thank god)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: purple, black, red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yes! I’ve made so many awesome friends through tumblr and mystic messenger, it’s kind of crazy and I love it. 16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes, so many times, most recently yesterday. My husband took me on a date to celebrate our dating anniversary (13 years we’ve been together, wtf) and was being stupid in Target and I couldn’t handle it 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: yeah, but that stuff doesn’t really bother me. 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: Yes - in the last year, I met my daughter, and she’s changed me the most. 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: I mean, I’ve always known. There are a few people I’m not as close with but I wouldn’t say we aren’t still friends. Life happens. 21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: Yes, I kiss my husband daily (I can almost hear @feelsgood-anon saying GAAAAAAAAY) 

GENERAL:

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE:  All of them. I don’t use FB as much as I used to but I keep it pretty private. 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat Harlow, and two corgis - Eevee & Winry. 24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME:  I’ve never been a huge fan of my name but I’m used to it, I don’t even know what I would change it to. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: Every year for my birthday, God blesses me with a new Star Wars movie (seriously, they either come out near or on my birthday - December 15th) so it usually evolves going to see those. Last year we saw Rouge One & I also did a Krampus Pub Crawl and it was awesome. 26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 11:30 pm, 12:40 am, 1:30 am, 4:00 am, and then for good at 6:33 am (thanks a lot, tiny human). 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Sleeping, I’m an old ass woman. 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: I’m so excited for Denver Comic Con this weekend! A week away from work in a different city, dressing up and nerding out with my friends. It’s gonna be dope. 29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: December. I live across the country from my family. 30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: Oh god, I’m really not sure? I wish I could spend more time doing things that I love and figuring out myself, I guess. 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING RIGHT NOW: I am watching The Bachelorette because I have a trash kink and I enjoy screaming about it weekly with @zombolouge 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: My first crush was on a kid named Tommy if that counts. 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: Work being stupid. 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: Tumblr, AO3, my email, reddit. 35. MOLE/S: I don’t have any, just some freckles. 36. MARK/S: I have a scar from an ice skate (lmao true story) on my wrist, two surgical scars (one on each wrist) from my carpal tunnel surgery, a c-section scar, a scar on my knee from a door jam, and numerous tattoos and piercings. 37. CHILDHOOD DREAM: A singer who ONLY sang slow songs. Obviously. 38. HAIRCOLOR: Right now, it’s bright red again (yaaaassss). Naturally, I’m poop brown. 39. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: In general, or mine? Mine’s medium ish I guess. 40. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Saeyoung, Jumin, Zen, Masamune, & @serensama 41. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I like to think I’m funny and I’m fun to be around? Physically probably my eyes. 42. PIERCINGS: my ears & my nose. 43. BLOODTYPE: B+!!! 44. NICKNAME: Jackie is a nickname, haha. My real name is Jacqueline. Other than that? Jack, Kiki, JG, Nurse, Hey you, Have you ever seen that show Nurse Jackie?, Babe, Mama, Babes, other inappropriate names my husband gives me. 45. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: married 46. ZODIAC: Sagittarius & Dragon 47. PRONOUNS: she/her 48. FAVORITE TV SHOW: I recently just finished The Handmaids Tale, Seraph of the End, and American Gods, they were awesome. Game of Thrones, Westworld, Stranger Things, and so many anime that I probably shouldn’t list.

49. TATTOOS: I have 7 - a huge shoulder/back lace piece, a sugar skull & French phrase on my back, a sparrow on my chest, a tree of life on my hip, a shooting star on left foot, and a phrase in Italian on my right foot. I need mooooooreeee 50. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right 51. SURGERY: bilateral carpal tunnel surgery bc I’m an old ass birch, c-section, wisdom teeth removal. 52. HAIR DYED IN DIFFERENT COLOR: My hair has been every color, haha. I’ve been dying it since I was 13. Brown, Blonde, Red, Pink, Purple, Blue, Orange/copper, combinations of all of those. 53. SPORT: I like watching football, hockey & baseball 55. VACATION: I’ve been on a bunch throughout my life all over, though my most recent favorite was my trip to Mexico with husband & friends after his most recent deployment. 56. PAIR OF TRAINERS: I legit couldn’t think what trainers were?? why am I so stupid??? Probably my grey chucks.

MORE GENERAL:

57. EATING: dick. I mean... what? 58. DRINKING: nothing, currently. 59. I’M ABOUT TO: fart around on tumblr, catch up on AO3 61. WAITING FOR: Wednesday to be over with, so I can get ready for my long weekend and Denver! 62. WANT: uhhhh a million dollars? not to work tomorrow?  A PONY. 

63. GET MARRIED: I already did, hopefully won’t need to do that again 64. CAREER: I am a Registered Nurse & BSN and I currently work in a Gastroenterology & Hepatology clinic.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. HUGS OR KISSES: I love hugs but there is just something special about kisses. 66. LIPS OR EYES: eyes 67. SHORTER OR TALLER: I’m pretty fucking short, so I need someone taller to reach all of the things. 68. OLDER OR YOUNGER: eh, I don’t really care. 70. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: oooooh arms 71. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: I like both. 72. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: I’m a relationship kinda gal. 73. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: I’m a well known troublemaker, woops.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. KISSED A STRANGER: No. Well, kind of? I kissed a girl who I didn’t realize I knew but apparently we went to high school together. 75. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: of course, probably more than I should. 76. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: Not my glasses but I’ve totally lost contacts and it suuuucks 77. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yup 78. SEX IN THE FIRST DATE: No 79. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: Yes, though it was never intentional :/ 80. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: yes. 81. BEEN ARRESTED: nooooo 82. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: of course 83. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yes, this is how most of my relationships started.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. YOURSELF: on occasion 85. MIRACLES: sometimes 86. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: No. I like the idea? But not realistically. 87. SANTA CLAUS: No, though my dad had us fooled FOR YEARS. He even got us gold buttons with the initials ‘SC’ on them and said they were from Santa. He was a sneaky bastard. 88. KISS IN THE FIRST DATE: sure? I haven’t been on a date with not my husband since I was 15 soooooo 89. ANGELS: Of course, it’s the only way I can describe some of the cherubs I’ve met through here.

OTHER:

90. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME: I have many different people that I would consider my best friends that I talk to daily, but if I had to pick one, It’d be my husband probably - Aulin. 91. EYE COLOR: green! 92. FAVORITE MOVIE: Too many to name, once again (i’m awful at picking favorites) but Howl’s Moving Castle & The Princess Brides are two classics.

This thing is a BEAST so I won’t tag anyone - if you are interesting in doing this, consider this your tag! 

[shark-myths]

I was tagged by @beckettsthoughts,  which, thank you. <3 <3 <3

RULES: Always post the rules. Answer the  questions asked, then write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people to answer your  questions, as well as the person who tagged you.

THEIR QUESTIONS

1. What is something  you’ve seen in person that you never thought you’d see in person? (E.g. rare  or bizarre wildlife, a dream destination, a celebrity)

Literally in a  parking lot I saw a raven using salsa. It was dipping its fucking parking lot  scavenge food in a little paper cup of SALSA. What the ACTUAL fuck???

2. What book/movie  do you keep saying you want to read/watch but know you probably never will?

Let’s be real, I am never going to get through The Silmarillion, I am a  low person of low quality

3. What song will  you forever associate with school dances or discos? 

GET LOW! And also, um, the Cha-Cha Slide. I’m old.

4. What’s your  favourite supermarket to shop at? Why is it better than all the others? 

Trader Joe’s. It is the fucking best in all ways. They have a lot of  random delicious items that I’m in love with, they have the best chocolate,  they have my favorite wine and it’s under $4 a bottle, they have dorky cute  house brands like “Trader Jose’s” for their Mexican food, I like their red  quinoa and dried pineapple and sweetened coconut chips and maple cookies, and  there are always samples and you can get produce there that actually has  flavor, is affordable, and is not ROTTEN like all the produce in Mississippi.  Also a favorite is ALDI, which is super cheap and offers pantry staples $2-3  cheaper than anywhere else and has a lot of types of food that are no longer  accessible to me now that we live somewhere without one—like, who can pay $8  for a pack of pancetta for her pizza sauce? Not this dude. At ALDI that shit  was $3. The working poor need dried Italian meats too.

5. Do you have any  local myths or legends? 

CUBA ROAD. It was just this creepy road and if you went down it at  midnight you would like, either not come back at all or come back horribly  changed. It was Haunted. No one I know who braved it ever saw anything but I also  only knew like, one person who dared try. I certainly didn’t.

6. How did you meet  your best friend? 

ON THE INTERNET READING FANFICTION, that’s actually how I meet almost  all of my significant relationships. not even joking. I just give my home address  and phone number to strangers on the internet, it’s been working out pretty  well the past 14 years

7. Think of the best  teacher you ever had at school, what were they like and why were they the  best?

to be honest with you, I have completed 24 years of formal fucking  education and I have had so many teachers, trying to pick the best one is  shredding my heart! I had one teacher for Anatomy who was really passionate  and gave us these embarrassing activities like doing autopsies on pickles  (she had dressed them up and given them wounds, like toothpick splinters and  ball-bearing bullets) and hypothesizing about cause of death; I had an  amazing ball-buster history teacher who yelled at me in class once for  working on homework for another teacher and from that moment on I adored her;  I had a really intelligent professor with really high standards who taught  psychopharmacology and I worked the hardest I ever have to do well in his  class because I respected him so much; I had a really excitable professor  from Luxemborg who I took a “gender benders” in lit and history class with  who was amazing and kind to me even though at that point I was too anxious to  ever speak; I recently took Medical Anthropology with a greek woman who  shouted about politics and biomedicine daily and just thinks about things as  a hobby and I want to be her when I grow up and she let me write my entire  term paper on how mad I was at sexism in my field of study.

The trends in what I like are: passion/enthusiasm; having high standards;  not being nice to me to try to get me to like them. because I’m broken in  strange and interesting way the quickest thing a teacher can do to lose my  respect is try to make me like them. Like, be kind of a dick to me and then  praise me for killing myself on papers to win your approval, that’s all I want.

8. Have you ever had  any funny holiday/vacation mishaps? 

once when I was interviewing for a graduate school program I was given  a hotel room by the school, which was pretty decent of them—they had this  weird on-site hotel—and I was all prepared to settle in, had my shit spread  all over both beds, when in came the OTHER APPLICANT I was apparently sharing  the room with. This was terribly embarrassing. I had an anxiety disorder at  the time, was easily embarrassed & soooooo behaviorally inhibited. Anyway,  long story short, I forgot to pack pajamas so instead of saying that like a  normal person, I just… pretended really casually like I always slept in the  same sweater I’d worn all day and wormed out of my jeans under the covers

9. Speaking of  holidays and vacations, what are the best and worst holidays you’ve ever been  on?

best: the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for my honeymoon, a spring  break trip to Toronto, a wedding in Martha’s Vineyard, going to Boulder for  the first time and spending a week with @simplydalektable and the way everything  was made of sunshine and gold and I didn’t need food or sleep or anything but  her

worst: when I was 15 and my parents took me and my half-brothers to a  remote cabin in the wilderness with no internet and it was during the days  when texting and phone calls like, existed but you had to pay tremendously to  enjoy them so they were Outlawed and everyone was tense and mad at each other  and bored because like, we are not equipped to socialize who would think locking  us all into one room was a good idea; once when I was depressed at Disney  World with my mom and all I could think about was how I was supposed to enjoy  it more and everyone was mad at me because I was an Angsty Adolescent; these  are pretty mild horrors, my life is pretty good

10. Do you collect  anything? Did you collect anything when you were younger?

I used to collect comic books with great seriousness! Now I collect  band shit and copies of Lord of the Rings, my favorite anything ever. I have  4 editions currently, which is not nearly enough. I collect books in general  with fervency.

11. What led you  create a tumblr blog, however long ago that may be? 

oh my god this is the most me thing ever, but there was an art festival  in the town I was living in and some old fucking white dude entered a project  that was Commentary On The Youths or some shit and used the selfies of young  girls that he took from the internet to criticize millennials for being  shallow???? Like, that is a form of cultural appropriation, these girls are  growing up in a society that allows them some modicum of control over their  own image and they’re using it to explore and define themselves and own their  own selves for one fucking moment in their lives, and You, some Gross Old  Dude, are just putting your slimy hands in there and like, trying to make a  Point about something you can’t possibly understand????? And I was so angry I  decided I was going to do my OWN selfie project (I’m in year 2 now; I was  daily in year 1 but I’ve been slacking the last six months), so I made this  blog, and for the first year I used it only for posting my daily selfies. like  every fucking other thing in my life, I created this blog out of pure rage.  (someday I will tell you the story of how I became so mad at the field of  clinical psychology that I decided to become a clinical psychologist, and  somehow powered through 8 years of torturous education on that anger alone)

And for the second  part of this, I tag @xabjectlessonsx @crhiscornell @syndestruction @time-less @immoral-crow @we-are-the-weirdos-mister @oceanjade345 and any of you lovelies who would like to!

MY QUESTIONS

1. What is the  sickest you’ve ever been and why?

2. What is your  favorite thing to drink?

3. What song do you  use to deal with your emotions? How does it work—does it suppress them or let  you express them?

4. If you could only  watch one movie for the rest of your life, it would be:

5. Favorite myth, legend, or fairy tale?

6. If you had a  perfectly self-centered wish you could make, what would you wish for?

7. Tell me about  your pets.

8. In your  opinion, what is the most perfect record ever made? (Doesn’t have to be your  favorite)

9. What’s your  favorite thing about space?

10. What are you  nostalgic for?

11. List 5  words you think everyone should start using more.

[thepositivescientist]

Serif’s Charm Part 3

[1] [2] [3]

In which Sans goes crazy and Serif makes a fool of herself.

@aglitchandagrump @hiddeninshxdows

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 9:17 PM

Eliot sits up with a yawn. he gets up tucking in Serif and stands deciding to sit at the edge of the pool staring at the water, glad his dream wasnt as bad as her last one

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 9:52 PM

Sans stirs a bit, groaning a bit in protest to himself as DT began to yell at him to wake up. With a small growl he opened his eyes, spotting Serif once again and becoming a flustered mess. Except.. he couldn't get away from Serif's snuggling.

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 9:55 PM

Eliot was deep in thought, kinda humming to himself, not even noticing that charm just woke up from his slumber

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:01 PM

Serif snuggled closer to Sans in her sleep. She was really comfy here and didn't seem ready to wake up yet.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 10:02 PM

Sans had to fight back a small whine of embarrassment... Or maybe happiness? He didn't know but DT began chanting an annoying song and he wanted it to stop before he appeared and he looked crazy.  "It's too early for this.." he mumbled to the voice who responded immaturely with a raspberry.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:14 PM

Serif stirred a little when he talked, her hold on him loosened as she stretched lazily and resettled. She made a sleepy little whine that sounded almost like a squeak as she did so.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 10:16 PM

He melted a bit at the cute noise, looking over at her a little. She was so cute! This apparently caught DT off guard, angering him, and he yelled to get Sans' attention. This caused him to jump a bit, letting out a small yelp and quickly freezing as to hope he didn't wake Serif up.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:23 PM

Serif shifted again at the noise and sudden movement, making another little whine that sounded more annoyed. Her hand closed around some of the fabric of Sans' jacket. After a moment she sighed and reluctantly opened her eyes. She tilted her head that was still resting on his chest to stare blankly at Sans as she actually woke up. "heya...."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 10:26 PM

He was flushed bright blue. "U-Uh, h-hey! Morning! S-S-Sorry to wake you up!" Haha! You woke up you're girlfriend! He bit back a growl at DT's teasing, his nervous smile falling briefly for a look of annoyance as he barely whispered angrily. "Shut the fuck up you twat!"

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:31 PM

Serif squinted in confusion. Did she really hear that last part? Probably not, she was just still dreaming or something. "uh....it's fine. probably time for me to wake up anyway....did you sleep well?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 10:36 PM

"Uh.. Yeah!" Oh thank god she hadn't heard it. Ooo, risky move~ He forced back a growl, his smile only faltering a bit.  "How 'bout you?"

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:41 PM

She nodded sleepily, still resting her head on him. "mmhmm! you make a good pillow." She was half tempted to just fall back asleep again. "soooooo....how long have you been awake?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 10:46 PM

"Not all that long!" He beamed at her, grateful DT didn't make any snarky remark. "I can't believe I fell asleep again -- right after coffee too!" He chuckled a bit.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:49 PM

She laughed. "it was pretty funny! maybe i just bore you to sleep! or you just really want to sleep with me~" She added a lazy wink for effect.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 10:51 PM

His blush just got brighter. "Wh-What?" Looks like someone's got you figured out, Cripple~ "No! I don't like her like that!" He said a bit too loudly, his blush just getting brighter. Fuck.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 10:56 PM

Serif stared in confusion. "uhhh...did i fluster you so much you forgot how to use words?" She wasn't sure what to make of that....Well actually she did have one idea. If she didn't her face wouldn't be turning blue at the moment.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:00 PM

"Y-yes! Uh- Yeah. U-uhm, j-just don't know what I was s-saying." He laughed nervously, silently scolding DT that was currently laughing hysterically. "N-No idea.."

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 11:09 PM

"y-yeah uh...." Gosh she was losing her words. "um....wanna go get some coffee? or something. oh uh...and i guess i should change..." She forgot that she was still in her swimsuit and was suddenly very embarrassed about that. Sure it wasn't a bikini but still.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:13 PM

Sans suddenly realized she was in a bathing suit and got even bluer. Oo, nice score, buddy. "Shut up." He muttered again, not processing a lot of this. "B-But u-uh, y-yea! sure! uhm, I-I-I'm up for s-some coffee! P-Promise I won't fall a-a-asleep this time!"

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 11:24 PM

She was getting mixed signals now with his weird muttering. She was fairly sure she didn't imagine that...Oh well. "okay then." She rolled over and stood up, grabbing Elly's blanket at the same time and wrapping it around her so by the time she was on her feet it was around her waist like a skirt. "be back in a minute." and with that she hurried off to change.

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 11:25 PM

Who knew Eliot could be so deep in thought, or is he sleeping? its hard to tell, though he is nodding off a little too close to the pool's edge

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:27 PM

He sat up, rubbing his skull as a familiar entity popped up in the neighboring chair. He growled, not even glancing over at DT. "If I could kill you, I would." Haha, no you wouldn't. You know I would be killing you. Not the other way around. "Fuck. You." *Hey, I'm not the one with the crush. "I don't have a crush!"

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 11:31 PM

Charm's talking disrupted Eliots train of thought, He turns around only slightly annoyed  [if your gonna argue with your imaginary friend, please whisper, im kinda in deep thought]

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:33 PM

They both looked at him in shock, Sans' blush reappearing. "Fuck.." Told you were crazy. "Yeah I fucking know that." He was whispering now, as requested. DT, not so much, yelled at full volume. Sans was the only one who could hear it though. How does it feel, Cripple? Enjoying my company? "Why don't you go bother Gaster or something?" He ain't fun. You respond with more then just glares. To that, Sans responds with a glare.

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 11:37 PM

Eliot breaths in glad he's much quieter, he turns back to the pool relaxing once again, he really needed to relax anyway since he's still a little stressed out from his dream that was once again trying to make him believe things he didnt wanna hear "~xaler ot woN" he started humming to himself to calm his mind

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 11:40 PM

Serif returned in a few minutes, glad to be back in her normal outfit. She set the blanket near Eliot before turning back to Sans. "ready?"

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 11:41 PM

he grabbed the blanket thining it out and hooking it back onto the skull decoration, he missed his ribbon thing thats always around him

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:41 PM

He turned away from DT, his smile returning. "Yeah!" He said, accidentally a bit loudly. Yay! Date time! Without thinking he turns back to DT and growls. "Not. With. You."

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 11:45 PM

Eliot rubs the sides of his foreheads repeating in his mind 'there is no one here but me, there it only silence'

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 11:46 PM

Serif cocked her head in confusion. "uhhh....sans, you alright?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:47 PM

He realized what he just did and turned away from DT's smug face to look back at Serif with a bright blue face. "U-Uh, yep! J-Just thought I h-heard something." You bet you heard something.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 11:49 PM

"well...okay then." That was really odd. She tried to shrug it off. "hey eliot, we're gonna go get coffee, be back soon. oh, and you want anything?"

Elly [Hiddeninshxows]-Yesterday at 11:50 PM

he turns to them and thinks "....food" he smiles a little not particualty realizing that he's making nearby shadows a little sharp from stress

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:53 PM

Dude, that dude is making some weird things happen with those shadows. Sans noticed them, but decided not to speak out on them. "Got it." He muttered, beginning to walk off with DT following.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Yesterday at 11:54 PM

Serif knew she should probably comment on the shadows....but it probably wasn't a big deal. and Sans was already walking off. "o-okay then. be back in a bit." She trotted to catch up with Sans.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Yesterday at 11:56 PM

Sans walked in, accompanied by DT and Serif 

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:02 AM

Serif trotted in with Sans, she'd expected to go to the indoor bar but this was better anyway. It was out in the open where she could see the sky. She stretched her arms and took a deep breath of fresh air. She thought she'd never get sick of being on the surface.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:04 AM

"So what so you want?" I certainly know what you want, Cripple. A barely taller glass of smoking hot- He was cut off as Sans suddenly stomped his foot to the side, directly on DT's foot. His smile never faltered.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:12 AM

"just a coffee is fine!" She thought for a moment. "and if they have any sugar free cookies that'd be nice too! gosh i wish i could eat sweets more. heh, actually, it was here, on my island of course, that i realized how bad of a sugar problem i have. hawke got me some icecream and uh....i kinda ended up running the whole length of the beach in under a minute?" That was actually one of the less embarrassing things she did. She wondered if Times had the same thing happen to him...

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:18 AM

He couldn't help but laugh a bit. "I'll see what I can find!" He walked behind the bar, searching. Meanwhile, DT was sitting on stool, rubbing his foot. He decided to "talk" to Serif. Y'know, toots, Cripple really enjoys sugar! He'll take all the sugar from ya. "Hey Serif, how about you have a seat there?" he suggested, gesturing to the one DT was sitting in.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:22 AM

"sure!" She trotted over and flopped in the seat. Completely oblivious to DT. "so uh, what's your favorite place on the island? besides the hot springs of course~"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:25 AM

DT was pushed off, landing on the ground with discontent. He grumbled as he got up and sat on the next still over.  Asshole. "Stop talking about yourself like that, it's not good for self-esteem." he mumbled, hopefully not audible to Serif. He turned back, sliding her a mug before turning to look for cookies. "Uh.. I don't know. There was a carnival and that was pretty great, but I don't think I've explored all that much."

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:31 AM

She thought she heard him mutter something but couldn't make it out. She shrugged it off and gladly took the mug. "there was a carnival here too? me and charmy went there in my world. it uh....didn't end exactly the best...but it was fun! too bad they don't have the carnival here the whole time." She sipped at her coffee happily. "i really like the gardens, but that was probably obvious."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:35 AM

"Yeah... The food was really good." Unfortunately you never got to taste what you really wanted. Sans walked over, his own mug in hand. He leaned over the counter, tilting the freshly brewed coffee over the rim to fall onto the stool. DT hissed in pain, wiping off the liquid. Sans, once again kept his smile up. "It probably helps that you read so much about it. If I could read then maybe I could have more of a passion for something like that." he sipped at his coffee, not noticing his slip. DT did though, smirking a bit.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:41 AM

Serif was looking at the stool that Sans had just seemingly poured coffee on for no reason. She would have said it was an accident but it really didn't look like it. "uh....yeah...maybe when you learn more about it then you'll...be more interested...?" She kept looking from the stool to Sans for some sort of explanation.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:44 AM

DT huffed a bit that Serif didn't notice, letting his chin fall onto the bar. Sans just kept smiling at Serif as if everything was normal. "Definitely. I have a feeling you'll help a ton with that."

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:48 AM

"um..y-yeah! i'm sure that will be great! i have lots of books to pick from too!" She kept looking at the stool wondering why he did that. Maybe she should just ask. "so uh...is there a reason you dumped coffee on that stool? because there are better ways of getting a hot ass."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:51 AM

He laughed a bit at her joke, even DT snickering a bit, getting a bit blue. "Nah, that was just an accident." Accident my apparently hot ass. Sans once again poured coffee out of his cup, this time right onto the bar and onto DT's skull. He growled. Same thing twice, huh? and begun wiping away at it. Sans, at a delayed reaction looked down at the spot where coffee was. "That... That was an accident too."

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 12:57 AM

Serif laughed, assuming that it was a joke of some sort. "looks like you need to put a lid on those accidents." She pointed to a coffee mug with a lid on it. "unless you wanna spill the truth and tell me why ya really did that." Her tone was joking, she didn't think there was anything else to it. At most she guessed he did it to make her laugh.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]-Today at 12:59 AM

He laughed a bit nervously at her second joke, thinking she knew something was up. Yeah, tell her the truth, Cripple. "Actually, I think I might skip out on coffee today." He proceeded to throw the rest of the contents into the air and all over DT who actually fell out of the chair.

Serif [SecondQuill]-Today at 1:02 AM

Serif just laughed all the harder, actually snorting from how hard she was laughing.  "o-oh my gosh s-sans! y-you could at least pour it on a plant or something!" She was trying and failing to stop laughing.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

Sans couldn't help but smile at her laughter, unable to stop little heart's forming as his eye lights. "I think the ground enjoyed it more."

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif finally managed to calm down, embarrassed at her outburst. She tried to take a drink of her own drink but the image of Sans throwing his coffee made her laugh again and she accidentally did a spit take on him and fell off her seat laughing. How graceful.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He was taken off guard by the coffee, standing there with a "wtf" face as DT burst into laughter as well. How does it feel Cripple? Not so nice, huh! He slumped a bit, glaring at DT before grabbing some napkins and drying himself off.

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif was flopped on the ground failing to stop her laughter. She grabbed onto the counter and half dragged herself up, resting her head on it. The sight of Sans just made her laugh more. Her face bright blue. "a-are y-you o-okay?!"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He smiled a bit at her. "I'm fine." he chuckled, wiping at his shirt. "Probably deserved it anyway." Yeah ya did.

Serif [SecondQuill]

"d-deserved it? w-PFFTTT- wh-why? y-you're a-already h-hot enough!"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He got blue at that sinking into his coffee stained jacket. "I-I don't know about that.." If you're hot then I am literally on fire.

Serif [SecondQuill]

She took a few deep breaths to calm her laughter to giggles. "o-oh gosh! i stained your jacket!  uh i might be able to get that out later." She pulled herself back on her seat, her giggles dying down as she started to feel sheepish. "s-so..w-what were we even talking about? i forgot. h-hah..."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

"Its fine, don't worry." he reassured, leaning against the bar again towards her with a soft smile. DT seemed to be getting either bored or tired but was slowly fading away, much to Sans' pleasure. "I don't even know."

Serif [SecondQuill]

Her mood lightened a bit when he didn't seem mad. "uh....was it....books? yeah. books. a-and reading! excited for that!...so uh....what's some things you like to do?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

"Well.. I like to cook and make music." he starts out. "That's about the extent of my normal life outside the multiverse." he chuckles, DT all the way gone.

Serif [SecondQuill]

"oh! i like to cook too! although my skill is about as good as times'  sooo...yeah. i'm lucky if i don't burn the house down." She laughed awkwardly. "uh, maybe you could teach me! i read to you and you teach me to cook!"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He smiles brightly at the idea. "I would love to teach you! We would just stay away from sugar stuffs." He gave a friendly little wink.

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif beamed, chuckling a bit at the wink. "yeaaah no sugar for me. unless you want a crazy swap bouncing around." She thought about taking a drink of what coffee was left in her mug but she didn't trust herself not to laugh. "you mentioned music? i didn't know you made music! what instruments do you play?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He chuckled a bit, about to comment on that when she mentioned music. No one usually asked about that. "O-oh, I play guitar, piano, and drums but I mostly sing."

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif's eyelight sparkled. " wowie! you're like a whole band! i bet you're a wonderful singer! especially since you're charmy's alternate. i wish i could sing. charmy tried to help once but uh...it never really went anywhere. at least i don't need a good voice to play piano and violin. oh! do you have a favorite type of music?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He kinda took a moment to stare at her, his face melting again into one of awe and love. He was too far gone. "I guess I like anything that has a meaning. Anything that can move a crowd to tears, motivate someone not to give up hope, just telling a story is enough for me." he told her, his eye lights taking the shape of little hearts. "I would love to perform with you some time, if you'd like."

Serif [SecondQuill]

His words sounded wonderful! Like a poet! She loved songs with meaning. Things that had emotion were just perfect- She paused in her thought process as she noticed the shape of his eyelights...were those? Hearts? Oh shoot did she somehow charm the charming prince? Times was going to be furious- oh wait. Duh. He was probably just really passionate for music! Hah. Yep. "thats exactly what i love in music! and i'd be more than happy to preform with you sometime! we could have our own little two person band!"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

His smile never left, his posture sinking more and more as he leaned on the bar, simply finding joy in listening to her speak. It took him a moment to realize she had stopped. "That sounds awesome! We will have to fit it in between all the other plans we're making." he chuckled, a little blue blush appearing. He didn't know what he was feeling but he wasn't complaining.

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif laughed. "think we're planning more than we can handle! that's okay though! we'll just have to split it up into more get togethers!" She decided to try drinking her coffee again, managing to finish it off without laughing. "have you listened to much human music? i'm not sure how it is in your world but it can be a little hard to come by in mine. most of the time i get lucky and find something in the dump. like mcr stuff! don't know why anyone would throw that out though."(edited)

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

"I'm up for seeing ya more." he smiled, "I have heard some human music -- Arial is good at finding it. She gave me a sound track to a musical about American history recently and from what I've listened to it's badass."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"oh! my arial gave me a dvd for a recording of that! she told me to watch it with charmy and i keep meaning to ask her but of course something always gets in the way. i bet times has a dvd of it too! you might ask to watch it with him. it sounds like it will be awesome!" She half looked over the counter. "oh yeah, did you manage to find any cookies?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He would have to keep that in mind. Arial did say something like that to him about it. He stood a bit taller when she mentioned the cookies. "Oh right! Sorry, I forgot." He chuckled nervously before quickly turning away to try and find them. After a few minutes, and a few taste tests, he was able to find the sugar free ones. He made a small platter of different kinds, spinning as he set it done in front of her with some flair. "There we are!"

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif waited patiently, just kicking her legs softly and looking around at the area. She switched her attention back to Sans as he spun. Her smile just growing at how dramatic it was. "thank you, oh master cookie finder!" She bowed her head in gratitude. She gladly took a cookie and shoved the whole thing in her mouth. “gosh i love sweet things! maybe thats why i like you so much~” Her words might have a little more effect if she wasn’t talking with her mouth full.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He smiled brighter at her, grabbing a cookie himself to munch on while he returned to his slouched position. His blush returned, a wide bright blue line visible across his face. It didn't seem to matter if her mouth was full or not. He looked over to the side, trying to keep his blush under control as he chuckled nervously. He glanced over at her and all that seemed to do was make it worse.

Serif [SecondQuill]

She had to resist laughing as to not choke on her cookie. Gosh he flustered easily! Even more than Charmy it seemed. "ya got a fever or somethin? your face is looking pretty blue~ or did i just burn you with that coffee?"

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He chuckled again, rubbing the back of his skull as he still avoided Serif's gaze. "N-nah. You should know I don't handle that type of stuff good." Especially not with her. When it came from her.. It was different. He just felt his soul get tighter and his ribcage twist... In a good way.

Serif [SecondQuill]

She'd half expected some sort of witty comeback. Must have really flustered him. "yeah, sorry about that. you probably get flustered enough by your 'brave knight.'" She picked up another cookie and shoved it in her mouth. "so how's times doing anyway? haven't seen him since...uh..." They filed divorce papers after the night they got drunk and ended up married somehow. "haven't seen him in a while."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He finally mustered the courage to look at her again, his blush staying control at the change of topic. "He's good." He said simply. "It's been a bit since I've last seen him too.. But that'll change soon. I'm gonna need his help with something. I can say hi for you if you want."

Serif [SecondQuill]

She laughed nervously and shoved another cookie in her mouth. "uhhh best not. we don't get along very well. he's gonna be pissed as is that i've been talking to you. plus after recent events between us- um...." Her face turned bright blue remembering their stupid antics. "i'm pretty sure h-he's trying to avoid me."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He can't help but smile a bit, leaning on the counter a bit more towards her. "Well, now I'm curious. What happened?"

Serif [SecondQuill]

Her blush got even worse and she tugged her bandanna half up her face. "n-nothing! j-just s-swaps being swaps! HAHAHAHA...."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He couldn't help but smile a bit wider, mischief crawling into it and into his voice. "Aw, come on. It can't be that bad."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"w-well considering that w-we c-crashed a car, left seb to die, almost g-got arrested, and jumped in a river, i'd say it was that bad." She shoved another cookie in her mouth. "andmeandtimessortagotmarried." She hoped he couldn't understand that last part.(edited)

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

Any other person would laugh at that. Any other would find that oddly frustrating. His blush grew and his smile fell. "O-oh."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"y-yeah...." She coughed awkwardly. "it was a pretty wild night. a-anyway, things are pretty much fixed! seb is fine, albeit furious with us. we found the person who owned the car and paid them back. and uh....me and times got things worked out. kinda. it's still really awkward but hey, we were drunk off our asses so at least we have an excuse." She sunk into her bandanna. "I guess it was our fault we ended up drunk in the first place though..."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He would have to lecture Swap later. He shrinks a bit himself, deciding to try and quickly change the subject. "U-uh- who's Seb?"

Serif [SecondQuill]

"s-seb is another a-alternate of ours. we thought he was j-just a normal one b-but it turns out he's half human! isn't that weird? n-not in a bad way! just, i never thought that possible." She tugged at her gloves. "we kinda found that out a-after he got shot. it's a little hard to h-hide when he w-was bleeding so much...." She still felt bad about that. Especially because in her drunken state she'd said some pretty nasty things about him. And then left him to die.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

"Geez." He fell silent as he thought about that. A half-human alternate of Swap? That held many questions. But he was curious. Maybe he could help that guy out -- if only being there as an understanding supporter. "Maybe I can meet him one day." He couldn't help but smile a bit. "I could probably help him out if he needed it."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"he's actually been wanting to meet you for quite a while! ever since times started talking about you at the meetings. i think you'd get along great! and uh...maybe you could throw in a good word or two for me?"  She tugged at her gloves. "i said some pretty nasty things to him and he hasn't even let me apologize...i d-didn't mean them! i just...i dunno, i was drunk and panicking and..." She sunk more into her bandanna. "he didn't deserve to be called such things. or to be left behind. heck, he coulda died there. more likely than not."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

His gaze wonders off. "Yeah, I know that feeling." He muttered. Seems like they could get along better then he originally thought. He managed to look back to her and give a reassuring smile. "I'll try!"

Serif [SecondQuill]

She managed a smile. "thanks sans, you're the best!" If he wasn't on the other side of the counter she'd hug him. She thought for a moment. "not sure you'd get along with many of the other swaps. red is more of an asshole than me and times and he's doesn't have a charm. you might get along with clover and fluffle but you better be prepared to hear absolutely EVERYTHING about their families. they are huge talkers. whisper doesn't talk much, he didn't even make his own nickname, we picked it out for him. lavender if nice, but you have to deal with the wrenne side as well as the swap side. sparky is nice but he's always so nervous and he never talks about his world. and tiny is an asshat, we all hate him. but who doesn't hate their younger selves?" She realized that probably everything she said didn't make sense. "oh gosh! sorry about that! i rambled again didn't i? hah...there are a lot of us if you couldn't tell."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He listened with interest -- they all sounded better than his alternates. Far less scary, at least. He kept smiling at Serif, it falling from reassurance to a lovestruck grin once again. Her rambling was so cute. "It's fine." He chuckled. "They all sound so interesting. I'd love to meet them, really."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"maybe you could come to a meeting sometime! next meeting is actually coming up pretty soon. although i should probably clear it with the others first. I'm sure they'd love to have you though!" She took another cookie. "just be warned, they are clingy as heck and you'll probably be bombarded with hugs."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He couldn't help but laugh at that. "For some reason that doesn't surprise me in the least." he took another cookie himself, breaking one in half and munch on it. "But I'd think it would be interesting to see ten other Swaps in one room."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"heh, interesting is one way to put it. more chaotic to be honest. if it wasn't for lavender  we'd never get anything done. i don't know who's 'smart' idea it was to cram a buncha alternates that hate eachother in a room and try to get them to talk to eachother, but eh. i mean some good comes of it, like getting to meet you."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

His blush returns and his smile grows a bit more, his little eye lights forming hearts again, little to his knowledge. "Well, from the sounds of it if Wrenne is apart of him somehow that makes a lot of sense."

Serif [SecondQuill]

"oh yeah! i forgot to explain that. apparently somehow wrenne died? and so her swap absorbed her soul so they are this sorta fusion. he doesn't look much different except his eyelights are the color of wrenne's soul, lavender! and he got a little taller. wrenne can take control to talk through him and she tends to do it a lot. i feel bad for the guy, he can't do anything by himself anymore. i mean, sure he's with someone he cares about but i wouldn't want to be fused with my mom, er, dad i guess." Oh shoot she was talking too much again wasn't she? "a-anyway they are like the leader of the group." She shoved another cookie in her mouth to 'hide' her embaressment.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He shudders a bit at the thought of absorbing a human soul. But he still couldn't help but smile at her rambling. "Poor guy. Having someone in your head is... well, it can be suffocating." He knows from experience.  "But at least they can keep everyone under control."

Serif [SecondQuill]

His wording seemed odd. It wasn't like he'd had to deal with that personally had he? "yeah, i can hardly deal with myself. having to deal with someone else in my head? i think i'd go crazy! lav seems to be doing okay though. a bit on the secretive side but he can't really keep many secrets to himself anymore. i don't know why but we swaps just like keeping secrets. even from ourselves. been told i'm more open then the others though. times teased me saying it's because i'm a 'chatty girl.' i swear, we got along much better when he thought i was a guy....i do talk too much though..."

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

"I don't mind." He told her, smiling brightly at her with the returning heart eye lights. "I think your rambling is rather, uhm.." He caught himself, growing a bit blue. "Uhm.., uh," Shit. What could he say? Maybe just take a leap of faith? Yeah. Screw it. "Cute?" He tried, his voice raising a bit.

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif stared at him for a long moment as things finally clicked. The heart eyelights, the dreamy smiles, the blushing. Her face turned bright blue and little sparks of magic zapped around her. "o-oh." She sunk more into her bandanna. She felt a mesh of feelings. Like the light feeling of drinking alcohol and the energy of a sugar rush all at once. "i-i u-uhhhhhhhhh i-i'm-" She just sorta tilted off her chair and flopped on the floor ungracefully. This was bad! No wait, it was good? No it was bad! Really bad! Right? She made a high pitched sound that sounded like a mix between a muffled scream and a squee.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

Oh no. That wasn't good. "Serif?" He leaned onto the counter more, almost climbing on it as he looked down at her. Crap. He broke her. He fell down from the counter, going around to look down at her with a worried and apologetic expression. "S-Sorry. I wasn't expecting you to shut down on me."

Serif [SecondQuill]

Serif just got more flustered when he came over, stuttering the starts of a billion sentences that never went anywhere. Did he actually like her?! HER?  Blue sparks buzzed around as she looked up at him. She took a deep breath to calm herself but it wasn't really helping. What was she even suppose to say? "I-I'M FINE!" She shouted at full volume, her eyelights flipping shapes. Okay okay calm down and think....HOW WAS SHE SUPPOSE TO THINK? THIS GUY LIKE LIKED HER! HOLY SHIT- TIMES WAS GOING TO BE SO MAD AND SHE WASN'T EVEN SURE SHE CARED WHAT HE THOUGHT BECAUSE FUCK THE CHARMING PRINCE LIKED HER. BUT SHE DIDN'T LIKE ALTERNATES LIKE THAT, RIGHT? She had no idea to be honest.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He took a step back, a few bits of dust flaking off as his worry for her grew. He really messed up hadn't he. Great. Just great. His hands fiddled with each other, his eyes darting everywhere. He didn't know what to do so he just stood there awkwardly. He didn't even know what he was feeling or what he was supposed to make of this reaction. He just mumbled another apology, staring down at the ground and his shuffling feet.

Serif [SecondQuill]

Oh shoot was he upset? She didn't mean to upset him! She awkwardly flopped back to her feet and gave him a rather stiff hug. "IT'S P-PEREFECTLY F-FINE! HAHAHAHA! U-UH Y-YOU'RE G-GREAT!"  Fuck that sounded really stupid. "J-JUST SWELL!" She was making it worse. "G-GRAND-" Her voice was getting higher and higher with every word she said. She pretended to be looking at her watch not that it mattered because he couldn't see what she was doing from that angle. "OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME I TOTALLY FORGOT I HAD TRAINING I BETTER GO BEFORE ALPHYS GETS MAD AT ME HAVEANICEDAYTHANKYOUFORTHECOOKIESSEEYOULATER!" She bolted at sonic speed through a portal back to her world, before it closed a surprised yelp and a splash could be heard. Probably should have been more careful about portal placement.

Charm - [aglitchandagrump]

He wasn't expecting the hug, and when she did she trapped his arms. Her words were off and he didn't know what to make of them. Eventually when she left he was left standing there, staring at where the portal had been before he more or less just slumped. Mentally and physically. He ran a hand down his face. "Sans you fucking idiot." he sighed, walking over to the stool and laying his head on the counter. He didn't understand anything of what just happened, nor how he felt, but he could tell he really messed up. Just great.

[sapphic-romeo]

I am soooooo mad at my sister rn (again) so im just gonna rant under a cut

Things about living with my sister that piss me off:

1. She relies on me for EVERYTHING. We don’t have sponges or dish soap right now because I ALWAYS get them, but I asked her to this time and she said she would... three weeks ago. It’s from the dollar store two blocks from our house, so I’m not asking her to go a long way away, or to spend a lot of money... it should be so simple. And this is the third time something like this has happened, the first being...

2. The Toilet Incident. This is a whole item of its own because it was so disgusting and unequivocally her fault. She has her own half-bathroom that she says “doesn’t exist as far as I’m concerned.” She says this because I told her she can’t trash “my” bathroom as it’s the only one I’ve got. (Side note, that doesn’t matter when she has guests coming over and i have to clean her clothes out of my bathroom). Anyway, she  clogged up the shared toilet with literal, actual shit. I was the first to find out it was clogged and it overflowed a little, and I had to use my personal bath towel to mop it up. I told her to deal with it, to go to the dollar store that is, again, 2 blocks away, and get a plunger, and she just. Didn’t. For a week and a half I was waiting to pee until I left for class or sneaking past her and her boyfriend while they slept so I could use her bathroom. Er, sorry, I meant the void I can’t look directly at because it doesn’t exist to me. Either way, I peed in it.

That’s not even the end of it. I left an angry note on the toilet for her to “GET A FUCKING PLUNGER” that she just threw away, and finally I told her “Today. It has to be today.” I had a few ideas of what the implied “or else” would entail, some involving poison ivy in her underwear drawer, or throwing her clothes behind our apartment, and frankly I almost did it anyway. Because she agreed to go get a plunger that same day. And then immediately invited her friends over to hang out. I don’t know about you, but unless they’re my best friend and they’re going to cheer me on while I hang up clothes, I don’t invite people over so I can run errands and do chores. That’s when I knew she was ignoring me. Again. So, despite it not being my literal, actual shit encrusting the main toilet, I went and got a plunger. I was still determined not to be the one to actually do it, because it was disgusting and you have to draw the line somewhere, but I just wanted it done at this point. So to make it even easier, I got my sister a pair of dish gloves, because I knew I’d want them. Even after all this literal and figurative shit, I was still trying to be nice.

So I bring the gear back to our place and I tell her that I got it, so whenever she’s ready to deal with it... She says “Oh. Thanks.” and goes back to talking with her friends. I putz around for a few more minutes, but now I have to pee. And I’m on the edge of going crazy. If she doesn’t deal with this problem right. Fucking. now, I’m gonna lose my entire mind. So, I get the plunger and put it in her hand. Literally place the damn thing in her awful, grubby, disrespectful, irresponsible fingers. She doesnt move. I have to beg her to go deal with it, in front of her friends (I’m sure she would’ve ignored me if they weren’t there), before she finally got up and made the toilet usable again. And you know what? She didn’t even scrub it. I did that. It was disgusting.

3. Money. This one is equal parts paranoia and justification for that paranoia. So we don’t have a lot of groceries in the house. The last time we did a big shopping trip was maybe a month ago. I picked up the tab for that, about $50. We got a lot of unnecessary stuff, mostly at her behest, but enough that I could make a few meals and we were both satisfied. She says she’ll pay me back over venmo, I say sure. On the way back we stop for gas, and this bitch. Oh, this bitch. She has not yet paid me back for the groceries, and at the gas station she starts trying to convince me to pay for the gas, because “You don’t fill up the tank ever because you don’t drive [our shared car] as much.” Yeah, no shit I don’t pay $25 to fill up the tank when I only use $5 of gas. I put in $5 of gas whenever I drive somewhere (I’m aquaintances with this one guy at this one gas station, I get a coffee and a few bucks of gas, it’s a good time). I tell her, “I just dropped $50 on groceries, you pick up the $25 gas and we’ll call it even,” even though that’s pretty forgiving on my part. She paid for gas, but even then she was huffy about it.

Small thing, she keeps borrowing quarters for laundry and then doesn’t pay me back.

She also keeps forgetting that I pay $50/mo for wifi, and says I owe her half the utilities, but doesn’t split the cost of wifi. Example: the gas bill last month was $84 total. She tells me I owe her $42, half, right? So I pay $42. Then I tell her she owes me $25 for the wifi, half, right? and she tells me “Well the electric was $25 total so how about I just put it towards that and you don’t have to pay any of it?” Um... what? The electric bill would only cost me $12.50 after splitting... where’s my other $12.50? I’ve learned my lesson at this point; we each cover the first $50 of utilities and split the rest, so she says “This month was $84, that’s $42 each,” and I say “No, we split $34, that’s $17 each.” It works out okay as long as I don’t let her get ahold of the money in the first place.

Now, this is where the paranoia comes in. I’m not sure she’s actually paying the bills with the money I give her. My (now ex) boyfriend lived with us for a few months, and when he moved out he gave her a chunk of cash that was more than enough to cover the last utility bills that would come along after he moved out. Then we go to dinner with our third sister, and she says “oh yeah, I can’t wait for my paycheck so I can finally pay the bills.” I look at her, and I’m like “Didn’t [REDACTED] give you the money to pay the bills like, 2 weeks ago?”

Both sisters ended up turning on me and thinking I’m dumb because “it doesn’t have to be the exact same money that he gave her, duh.” I mean, not technically, but when someone gives you money for something and you use it for something else, that’s kinda shady, even though she was going to pay the bills with her next paycheck. That’s something that absolutely happened, and I feel like that’s a precedent.

Now, I keep finding utility bills that are from at least a few weeks prior that say past due and are for way more than she told me (one from Feb 22nd said our account balance is around $150). I’ve seen the month to month statements, and she always brushes off my concerns, but I’m worried that she’s not paying our bills on time and trying to cover up the late notices. That might just be paranoia, but the whole thing is very confusing to me and it feels like she’s lying to me. She might just be paying them late within the month, and nothing has been shut off yet, but I worry.

3. Laundry. So, this one is a little bit on me, and the second story is about what set off this rant today.

First incident, she poked her head in my room one morning, I’d just woken up, and she said “I’ll pay you ten bucks to do my laundry and reimburse you for the quarters.” Good deal, right? I just have to keep an eye on the machines, it’ll take 3 hours, tops. I agree, and I get her stuff done, and then I get a text that just says “fold them.” Now, in my mind, running the machines and folding the clothes are two separate jobs. So I tell her “No, that wasn’t part of the deal.” We go back and forth, I don’t end up folding them, and she says she’s only gonna pay me $4 for running the machines, plus the quarters. I was pissed about that, because we had a deal and she shouldn’t get to just change the rules on me like that, but it turns out some of the clothes in the basket are still damp... whoops. Now the $4 (plus the $6 in quarters) seems generous. I didn’t know they were damp and I do feel bad about giving her a hard time for the fee when it was subpar work, but we move on. 3 weeks later she finally sends me the money (also 3 weeks? seriously?? I needed those quarters to do my own laundry.)

AND HERE WE ARE. A few days ago I took my laundry over to my dad’s house because I once again am out of quarters (I also couldn’t find my debit card to go get them, but that’s beside the point). I have about 2 hours before I have to go to work, and we have 2 loads of laundry to do, one with just my (top priority) clothes, and one with both of our bedding. My dad’s dryer takes longer than I thought, so I take most of the wet clothes out and just do my work clothes plus a few others. My sister says she’ll make sure that the rest of my clothes get done and she’ll bring them back the next day. My dad lives about 45 min away from us, so the next time she’s going to be near there I ask to come with... only I have work again and have to be back early. She doesn’t want to go home early, so she says she’ll get my clothes and bring them back.

We miss connections for a couple days, she’s at work or I am, she’s in class or I am, but my clothes are in the car and I can’t get to them. Yesterday I wore a pair of leggings as underwear. It was unpleasant. Finally, today, we’re in the same place at the same time, and I go down to eh car to get my desperately needed clothes. Only guess what basket she brought back, after telling me over and over that yes she had my clothes specifically. If you guessed the fucking bedding, you’d be correct. As grateful as I am to no longer be sleeping on a bare mattress, she only prioritized the load that included her things. Maybe I’m overreacting, but It feels like a massive slap to the face. It feels like she’s being selfish, and unreliable, and I am so tired of trusting her to do anything. I’m tired of trusting her being necessary. So today, as I go to a family party with no underwear on, I’m just going to fume and reconsider the poison ivy. 

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #1: “"So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy!" - Brian

is it time to die already? a fake tribe was taunted, the tribe is split half US half europe so that is going to be a pain, its 1:40am as i write this and in all honestly i just want to sleep and coast till merge. bet that won't be happening tho RIP me and dig me in a grave huh. Oh and I thought I knew the keaton but I didn't lol. I am MESS

It’s really good to be playing a game again. My goal for now is to try and bond with my tribe and hopefully make alliances to keep me in the game. Right now talking to Dennis. He seems really cool, wouldnt mind working with him.

So just from the start i can already tell these players I'm with are easy going for the most part... I over all really like the tribe and can see a very solid chance that I can work with a lot of them if not all! But for the sake of this confessional having value... I'd also like to add that I'm worried that due to the laid back tribe (atm) that I might have a hard time building the connections to get in an alliance without making it due to the fact making an alliance is a very bad idea early on!

Okay so let's just get some thoughts out of the way My tribe is...interesting. I LOVE BRIAN. Well actually I love his boyfriend but still a great foundation from my side to work with him because I know he is a super sweet guy. Dennis is weird. I want to work with Nicole just because I like to work with womana because it brings me closer to God. Everyone else is irrelevant. Absolem is okay. Nathan is hilarious. He better not flop because I want to be best friends. Annabelle is the love of my life. But we did just play an ORG together that got a little messy...so idk how willing to work with me she is. Jayden said things about sports so there is no chance of us being friends. And...everyone else is irrelevant. Madigan: I stan Matt. He had the best intro out of all of us. He's a nut and I love that. I thought I knew who he was...but it turns out he's a different Keaton...and now I'm confused by the popularity of that name...Anyways, BC be still my fucking heart in an ANGEL and I want to be friends. Marie is a star in my ORG community and I always stan her. So I lowkey love this tribe and I wish i was on it. Overall...I'm ready to get this game going.

Okay so i'm normally super good at Selfie Scavenger Hunts...but this one is tough. There are a lot of hard items on here. And because it's Day 1 I don't know if I can rely on anybody on my tribe to pull their weight...guess we'll find out.

Okay I jumped the gun on Dennis. He's not weird. And he seems like he'll be a good tribe member. Not too interested in working with him, but hopefully we win a bunch and that won't matter.

so the cast is cool so far from what i saw a mix of a few faces i recognize and a few i don't which is cool because i play best when i don't know anyone i think so we'll see how this goes hopefully we win immunity and there's nothing to worry about!!

Okay so I really might have judged my tribe too soon. Charlie is a drunken riot. And Maynor seems really chill too. We have a good group. Now let's just hope we're good in challenges.

First impressions: jayden: bad music taste but likes tea kind of hard to talk to but i will get the best of him annabelle: league player?? we stan!! nathan: played once before him dont remember if we were allied but um likes drag race wooh ignored me to go watch it https://66.media.tumblr.com/0640fc1858852ee803cc45252f782259/tumblr_pk6xsgLbtq1szcwcho1_1280.png cole: said "omg ur the cole from skype love ur lipsyncs" they said yes. turns out thats not them. why lie??? nick: seems fun idk

I think my tribe is very cute ! I can already see that a couple of them are big suck ups but I hope I can use that to my advantage. I low key want to go to tribal council but I think the safest thing to do is try our best as a tribe for this first challenge and not seem weak! So I will try my best

So yay Selfie Scavenger Hunt. My favorite... I should be fine if I play a solid social game and dont score too low (right?) Also me and Nick same tribe we runnin this shit.

I like my tribe so far it's the most active tribe I have had by far.  The challenge is pretty good though and I hope we can win it and be safe.

So day 1.  This is... ahh... I'm so nervous for this game!  I have been looking so forward to playing this, but I just feel like it's going to be a rocky upward battle to make it deep... I'm trying to relate and talk to these people, and I feel like I can maybe do it with some of them... but I also know I'm like "WIGGG" and "TEAAA" and "SHJDGJHDGJ" all the time, and I just don't know if this is the tribe to act like that around... I also don't really have anyone to fully confide and trust in.  I do have people like Marie on the other tribe, but I just... ahh....

Ladies and gents, I want you to know that I refuse to go home pre-merge, and I will fight tooth and nail to make it to merge and then day 39... even if it requires me to grow up and act like a real human... I will do my best... I don't wanna let y'all down, but I also don't wanna let myself down.

So like after my antics last night, I feel like I am in a good shape. My intro amused many on my tribe which is good, and they all like me, which is EXTRA good! I feel like im on the cusp of something atm, but i am still wary of course. BC and James are my faves atm, with Marie and keaton also. But Marie, Keaton and john aren't really giving me anything but i am still gonna try. Im here to F****** win (or at least make jury but we shall see about that LOL)

this tribe in a nutshell me: "alright guys! super excited to play some Survivor with you all!! woohoooooo lets do this yeah!!!!!!" BC: "yeah!! I also like to do the surviving!!!" matt: "yeah LMAO" keaton: "..." marie: "..." john: "...okay but have you considered: Skyrim"

idk what's up with this tribe. am I setting my expectations too high? did I do something to piss everyone off?? I just want to play survivor but no one seems to want to engage with me.

BC's the only reason I'm sane atm. he's a sweetheart, we've had a few fun chats already and he seems like good company. we've gotten on the same page and realized that we're probably the two chattiest players on the tribe and should stick together. Matt isn't awful. he's funny, and I can just meme at him most of the time and he seems fine with that. wish I could get a little more out of him though. I'll give Marie a pass because she's been legit busy and hasn't had much of a chance to respond to stuff. from what little I've heard from her she seems nice. apparently she's new to discord survivor just like me, so I might be a little biased in wanting her around. I wanted Keaton to be great - he's a Kirby, I'm a Kirby, so we already had something working for us. but he's not giving me anything to work with. I'll bring something up to talk about and he'll shut it down almost immediately, in a way that makes me worried I'm getting on his nerves or something. idk, maybe our personalities just clash? but atm with Keaton my mood is zzzzzz and then there's John. I get the impression that John just doesn't give a shit. he spent all of the first night playing skyrim and ignoring me, and he hasn't said much of anything to me today. his intro and his rant show that he knows how survivor works, so why isn't he putting any effort into talking? idgi. :/

soooooo yeah that's this tribe. BC and I have teamed up, we've talked about roping in Matt as a third sometime soon. I wanna give Marie a chance as well, even talking to her tonight she's not that bad. but I'd probably be fine with voting out Keaton whenever, and I want John to go asap.

I was called Keaton from Facebook and mistaken for Maria on my tribe. This game is going great for me so far.

So far making bonds with Brian, Charlie, Dennis, and Sharky (Matt). I genuinely like them. No game talk just yet. But i wouldnt mind alligning with them. Havent talk to Nicole yet. So i need to start. Hopefully we are good and win this first immunity.

Okay top of Day 2. We're plunking away at this challenge. It's weird because since we all have our own lists we aren't talking very much... Charlie, Nicole, and Maynor are still yet to upload anything so I hope they get it together soon.

I feel like my tribe is being lazy rn like I did three tasks and I gave up because i only saw one other person doing shit!  and they can GOOO if they are going to be like that! OVER IT

no one pm's me first and when i pm them i have to keep the conversation going and it stops after like 5/10 minutes so um thats fun. really hoping we win immunities until a swap or sth. or maybe we intentionally matsing and then i just get rid of all the ppl who GHOST me. the only person who had a real conversation with me today was jayden and even that was super short and ended with him leaving me on read so um.. i guess im just super popular obviously. reading this back its gonna look so cringe NNN but this is how i FEEL

Ok so another update! So today I approached Bryce who seems like a amazing guy and I asked if we could work together and he said yes! So I hope this is a relationship that can last

I still feel kinda... like an outsider looking in.  It's only day 2, but I just feel like I have so much I need to change about my social game already.  I'm normally a crackhead when talking to people and can find those one or two people to be crackheads with, but I think I literally have to go through a complete change in order to succeed.  I need to be more ... adult?  If that makes sense...

So it's time for me to channel my inner-straight guy!  I need to just be cool and casual and normal and not be the uber obsessive Ariana stan I normally am or... "wig" this... I know I touched on this in my first confessional, but it's even more true now... I'm finding talking to some of these people a lot more challenging because I have to kinda flick on the normie switch.

Ahhh... this is going to be one hell of a ride…

Honestly I am REALLY happy where i sit in this game. I have a solid alliance of 3 with BC and James which is already good. I have a feeling we will end up at tribal, however I am not too worried because i feel like there will be some clear targets like Keaton or John. Marie is kind of laying in the middle but I know what a good player she can be so im keeping my eye on her.

Honestly I am REALLY happy where i sit in this game. I have a solid alliance of 3 with BC and James which is already good. I have a feeling we will end up at tribal, however I am not too worried because i feel like there will be some clear targets like Keaton or John. Marie is kind of laying in the middle but I know what a good player she can be so im keeping my eye on her.

Ooo girl. Do I have tea for you? LMFAO. I would make a video, but I have a lot to talk about, so you'll have to read for now.

where to even start? like LOL I guess I'll start with... this tribe fucking sucks. Literally can't stand it. And b4 someone says... "ew bboy it's b/c you don't have anybody you know huh??? you relying on meta!!!" no it's not because of that. well, sort of...

i play these games to meet new people so being on a tribe of new people doesn't phase me too much. it's that i don't like it when the tribe is inactive. like half of the people don't talk to me so it's kinda hard to do a cast analysis but I'll do one then get to the tea.

keaton: nothing really to say about him cuz I don't know him. I literally messaged him and it was SOOOOO hard to hold a conversation with him. then, I confused him with marie cuz he was kinda forgettable. thank you, next john: girl bye. idk if there's something wrong, but like john literally does not message me. and like i'm fine it's ok whatever, like i'm fine i'm fine I'll be fine, but still girl... seriously??? I would say "hey john! how are you doing?" and he'd be like "good." HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH THAT? LAGHALHG marie: I actually like her a lot. we get along prob cuz we're both similar - she's quirky, I'm quirky. quite the combo. we don't have any set alliance or anything, but I definitely don't want her to leave before dem inactives -.- matt: I like him... enough. he's cool and we chatted for a bit yesterday and the first day. there really isn't anything else to say but he's kinda fun??? i guess idk laghlahg but yeah there's that james: i'm prob the closest to him on the tribe. we just vibe so well together and I really do like him a lot. he's funny and chill and he was the one who initiated the alliance, to which I was like "yess girl add me in!!!" idk what else to say, because although matt/james have been more active, I jjust haven't had many convos with them individually yknow

but the little alliance we have going on is cute. <3 the name = Transcontinental Trio. It prob won't last (just being honest) but if it can get me past these few couple of rounds before the swap, I'll take it. my goal right now is to win these next few challenges and hope we don't have to go to tribal before the swap. if we do, I'd rather see john leave before keaton, because I think there's a relationship to work with keaton whereas I don't see one with john unfortunately

the tea that I have to spill is really just bitching about my tribemates I mean come the FUCK on y'all!!! wtf is the point of joining an ORG and then not talking to anybody. like does that make any fucking sense??? literally like... nnnn what is the matter with you? John infuriates me b/c like bitch if you don't have time sweetie, stick to playing Skyrim or w/e the fuck you play. my mood was when he sent us a pic of something happening in the game (idk what it was it looked dumb af) and literally NO ONE replying. like yes stick to his boring ASS!!

on top of all of that, no one (excluding my alliance) talks about anything of substance. like sure it's only been 3 days but y'all can at least find SOMETHING to talk about. i'm just so goddamn frustrated

that's it. I'm tired of bitching. i'll confessional again after results. hopefully we win or imma have to pop a bitch.

Okay we're closing in on the challenge deadline! I've gotten a ton of points. Dennis/Brian/Maynor all also posted a bunch so I'm hoping this is enough to keep us safe. Idk what Nicole is doing? But she better post something. ANYTHING really.

Where is Nicole? Like...girl, are you good? Wtf

omg so. based on nathans and nick's talking in the tribe chat they seem to know each other/mutual ppl. i will break their bond and make sure they want to work with me instead of each other. even if nathan hates pm'ing me and nick was fine to talk for a bit yesterday but today seems to hate me!

The scores are locked in. Hopefully we had enough points to keep us safe but Nicole didnt turn anything in. Hopefully nothing too bad happened. But i think if we do lose, maybe Nicole being first boot isnt too bad. Hopefully everyone thinks the same.

Okay so we demolished. Lucky for Nicole because she didn't contribute at all. And she didn't tell us she was abstaining. I'm sorry...you didn't have time to take a selfie with your cat? Bye.

MY MIND IS SO BIG AT 1:20AM. Right ok so to catch the confs up, James BC and myself have made an alliance called the transcontinental trio (An iconic name ik) so like im really happy that exists. THEN we somehow win immunity, even though Marie and John both had single digit scores LOL. like wow didn't know we could do that. then anna announces the idol system, and i fully expect too like not get far so i do it anyway. 4 mins later and i HAVE A FUCKING IMMUNITY IDOL???? LIKE BITCH WTF. I AM SO FUCKING SHOOK ITS UNREAL. I have been playing orgs for 1 1/2 years now and like I have never been able to find one! and now i do???? Jesus Christ maybe this IS my Game!

not to overreact but i want my entire tribe to go home. i had to PLUCK egg shells out of my VERY CURLY hair like i was some monkey picking ticks. i took an egg, a poor chicken would be, and used it not for nutrition. but for "fun". and its all for NOTHING. but thats ok. everyone keeps saying bc i carried i should be safe and like yes. but the REAL reason i should be safe is that its like im the only person on this tribe who wants to socialize at all!! also this idol system is so fun love choose ur own adventure type stuff. sad how i flopped first try tho.. but in 24 hours catch me with the idol! or catch me as first boot. someone just catch me im falling FAST.

This immunity is great because it gives me time to build better friendships without pressure of a vote. Charlie seems to like me, he wants to share idol guesses which is cool with me. That probably also means he'll tell me if he gets an idol which is powerful info to know. Also I won some cookies on my search. I hope they're oreos. But I'm curious as to what they'll be good for.

So....Charlie found the idol...and he told me. So guess I'm working with Charlie now. Because I want to keep tabs on this idol.

https://imgur.com/ZrG7wNV clearly doesnt realize ive never met a girl i didnt want to ally.

So we lost the challenge! Are we surprised? NOOOO AHHAHA! *sighs* anyways I think i have the numbers to get anabelle out, sorry not sorry

First tribal then Walrus is a bitch. I hate this game

i want to vote jayden out but annabelle and cole did worse in the comp so it might be hard so awk.. like nick wants annabelle out and he told cole that so its kind of over for her huh this is so sad i refuse to be on a tribe full of MEN

So far so good I really hope we can continue this momentum and I hope I can last 6 more days until the 20th of January and then I get to be two ages in one org which I have never done yet.

BC has brought me and Matt into an alliance (Transcontinental Trio!). BC is like the obvious alpha on the tribe and I’m kinda fine with that? At least I hope BC looks like a bigger threat than me, I don’t want that label lol. Matt is super charismatic, we’re finally talking regularly/about the game. He’s probably the scariest person on the tribe just because he’s so damn likable.

Keaton’s opened up a little. We bonded over thinking that we were the only ones hearing nothing from John lmao. Our first vote will probably wind up being Marie or John. I don’t want to push buttons too early, but if I get a chance at a clean shot at John I’m taking it.

So we lost the challenge which is terrible but I got the legacy advantage which is great! I’m worried ppl r voting me but that’s could be just my paranoia so ima stick to my plan of waiting for a name to be said

We won immunity and it feels great. Hopefully we could just go on an immunity run and stay safe till swap happens. I need to start making my talks with people go to game talk but maybe not as fast skmce we are safe.

edit: I really need to start watching the movies. Choose your own adventure like Idol systems always require background knowledge.

We won the first challenge and I'm so happy because I could've been voted out if we lost! This is my first Tumblr org so I'm completely lost and I accidentally told Matt that I knew Bryce from the other tribe so yay... that put a target on my back I think so hopefully we just keep on winning!

I don't have too much to update on, but I'm so glad that we aren't going to tribal because highkey I'd be in so much trouble... I've been in an emotional rut so the communication has been rough.. but we won so I have time to enjoy my tribemates in some conversations and make them love me…

Cole like what are you doing bro. Also I assume Keaton and Dennis are running shit on the other tribes.

Wow so I gotta say I am seriously impressed by this cast. I don't really know anyone and there are only 2 other people from EM... is this for real lol?? Seriously though I'm so happy to finally be playing an org with so many new people!!

Ok so first impressions of my tribe. I've already embarrassed myself by sending drunk videos to every single member of my tribe bar Nicole who wasn't online at the time.

Dennis- Easily my fav so far. I feel like we click so well and I've already talked to him way more than anyone else. Really hope I can go far with him.

Brian- Ok so I've seen this guy around on facebook and he seems funny and really nice! Our convos have been fun so hopefully we can develop a good relationship from here!

Maynor- He likes Charlie the unicorn. Therefore I like him.

Sharky- Haven't talked to him so much yet, but he seems cool and I know he was an early boot in KC.

Nicole- Haven't talked to her yet at all.

Ok so my tribe mates are KILLING this challenge! It's been difficult for me to take part cos of being up in London, but I need to add more stuff to the list lol. Otherwise we could lose, and I'll probably get blamed... eeeek.

WE WON!!! I can't believe it!! I'm so FUCKING HAPPY right now. One of our tribe mates abstained and we still won by over 200 points.. crazy shit

https://youtu.be/_LqWkiWMQw8

so we are about to go to tribal in about an hour and I think we have a plan sorted, I know nathan is saying my name and I will get votes BUT what the plan is that myself,bryce and annabelle vote jayden, jayden votes nathan and the other two will prob vote myself so we will get a 3-2-1 and jayden will go! lets hope

ok so i was out all day. and barely on. but i tried forcing jayden out bc he ignores me and i hate him. but NO. cole is cracked and when itell him to talk to nathan to secure his vote. he instead wants to vote him, then leads to jayden telling nathan that cole wants him out. so now he has no shot. bye bye cole this is sad but u so overplayed NNN glad queen annabelle is safe tho!

Cole is voted out 5-1.