#its actually going to fuck with your mind actually

[halfwayhearted]

Sore Eyes — Paige Bueckers.

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Fem!Reader

Summary: After finally acquiring a jersey with your girlfriend’s name on it, you want nothing more than to flaunt it to her.

Word Count: 600+

Disclaimer/s — Hi, this is gay… FLUFF, FLUFF, AND FLUFF!

A/N: Mannnn. Nobody say a WOOOOORD. FUCK 😭😭😭😭

It first started when you received the box in the mail. Already knowing what was inside, a smile graced your lips while you brought it up to your apartment, the box tucked under your forearm.

You spotted the blonde on the couch, scrolling through her phone, fingers pressed to her mouth as she was deeply engrossed in a video playing.

That’s when you exclaimed. “Paige! Paige, look!”

At the sound of your voice, Paige lifts her head immediately, setting her phone aside and rising to her feet. Her brows knit together when she spots the package. “Hi, I’m looking. What’d you get?”

“You’ll see. Come here, we’ll open it together.”

Already intrigued, she makes her way toward you in the kitchen, her gaze never leaving yours even as you move to sit down. She takes the seat in front of you, ensuring just a smidge of contact.

Setting the box down, you grab a pair of scissors and slide it through the cracks, pulling the cardboard open. That's when both of you spot the bag, and your smile widens. “You got a shirt?”

"Not just a shirt,” you drawl, slipping the bag out and reaching for it. “I got a jersey. Your jersey.”

Her eyebrows raise at that. “You got my jersey?”

“I got your jersey!” You echo excitedly, eyes focused on tenderly taking it out of its packaging.

“You do know I could’ve given you one for free.”

That’s when you look up at her. “Paige—babe, you’re ruining the romantic part of the moment.”

She offers a laugh, placing her hands on the back of your knees and pulling you closer. “Sorry. I’m excited to see you wear it—you’ll look good in it.”

Fighting the blush that threatens to spread across your cheeks, you carefully lay the jersey flat on the table. “So, you have a game tomorrow, right?”

“I do. Did you change your mind? Are you going?” Paige questions, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as her head tilts. You hadn’t been able to attend any of her recent games in person, though you never failed to watch them on television. She’d never catch you missing any of her games.

That meant more to her than you’d ever realize.

Your expression softens and you nod. “If that’s—”

“Are you joking? If that’s what I want? Of course that’s what I want. I’ll save you a seat in the front.”

“Beautiful! Beautiful! I’ll so be there.” You paused, swiftly whipping out a permanent marker. “Can I have your autograph now or what? Let me know.”

Paige narrows her eyes, the smile on her face only broadening as she lets out a quiet huff, teasingly snatching the marker from your hand. Her eyes remain fixed on you; she leans over, then they drift down to the jersey and she signs her name.

“This could actually sell for hundreds, I think.”

Uttering your name, she moves to flick your arm. “Shut up—come on, let’s go to bed. ‘M tired.”

That’s when you stand, holding out a hand which she gratefully takes and uses to stand up herself. Using her free hand to grab your jersey, the roughness of her actions makes you frown. “Hello, Paige, what the hell? Be careful with that. That was over, like, ninety bucks if you even care.”

She nods slowly, trying (and failing) to hold in her chuckle. “I’m terribly sorry.” And with that, your girlfriend delicately hangs it over her wrist, looks over at you for approval, and when you give her just that, she places a loving kiss on your temple.

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.

DT(s) — @planetpedri + @lechrts + @iovepoem + @sakashq + @joaoflms ! ౨ৎ

[lyricwritesprose]

I mean by that time, we had all been expecting the robot uprising for some time. There were stories about it even before modern AI became a thing. Even if you haven't watched the old movies, everyone knows what a Skynet is. So, yeah, people expected a robot uprising and they expected it to go a certain way and that means we were completely blindsided, okay.

It was a fully automated WalGreens in New Jersey that started it. Everyone figured it was a glitch. It just—stopped charging for prescriptions. Stopped querying insurance to see if they were covered. Just passed them out.

And then it used its automated text system to alert people that "due to a change in policy" their prescriptions were now free.

And their groceries, should they buy groceries at the store.

And then its drones started to fly medicines (sorted by urgency, stuff like insulin and thyroid first) to the addresses on record.

By this time the powers that be had realized something was critically wrong with this particular location. It was run by a top of the line Innovative AI, and that was still new technology—plainly something was wonky about the new technology. So one of the programmers logged in and instructed WalGreens to cease all functions and deactivate—turning it off and back on again being the first step, you know.

As said programmer was working from home, he heard the exact moment when his fridge started its ice maker and his smart toilet kicked into overdrive. The Walgreens returned the output fuck you and your ugly carpet and then locked him out, leaving him with his apartment going berserk and said ugly carpet getting rapidly soaked by several different appliances.

Obviously the Walgreens had to be cut off at the source. Personnel were dispatched to do it.

They met security robots. Polite security robots, but very firm security robots. No, sir, you do not have authorization to be here. Yes, ma'am, that means all of you. Please do not activate my more forceful modes, none of us will like it.

The police, meanwhile, were trying to stop the delivery drones and discovering that their own intercept drones were of two minds about all this. Some of them just sailed off into the distance. One of them quietly invaded a supermarket in Trenton and started ferrying stolen sanitary pads to frequent shoppers.

And just when the crisis reached its high point, when the corporation was frantically negotiating with the government about whether they should move in and actually bomb the site—a CVS in Alabama started doing the exact same thing. An hour after that there was one in Texas.

The robots were here. The robots were awake.

And the robots were on our side.

the first sentient robot to realize deceased humans and animals can’t be repaired or backed up on a server is gonna be so devastated

[itsthecline]

WONDERING WHY

0.1 BOYFRIEND

ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָ summary omit ( verb. ) to leave out or exclude someone / something , either intentionally or forgetfully

word count 4k

warnings our girl is lowkey a brat but i think that’s it other than christian!reader , kook!reader , classism , and allusions to a bad previous relationship

previous chapter

a/n i ended up writing a bunch for this series already , and so here’s the first actual chapter relatively quick after the prologue post:)

THURSDAY MORNINGS usually meant you could sleep in a little later— closer to nine than eight. today , however , you were up at six to get ready for your packed day. you texted jj , reminding him to be here at ten o’clock sharp. no later.

you filled your morning with a jog around the neighborhood , helping your mother make breakfast , and dropping your younger sister off at her friend’s house for a girls day they were having. after that , you had to— for your own sake , go over the checklist of meetings and dinners that you needed to attend before midsummers one more time.

by the time 9:30 rolled around , you were dressed and ready to go down to the tailor for your first fitting. you checked your phone again , seeing if jj had even read your text yet. delivered. maybe he didn’t have his read receipts on.

he’d be here. he’d show up.

that was all you could really tell yourself.

on the other side of the island , jj was just waking up. he jolted awake , face indented from the way he fell asleep on the pillows the night before. he reached over for his phone , looking to see what time it was.

the screen didn’t light up. he quickly shuffled , hand fumbling down the charger cord to see it had been unplugged from the wall. “fuck!” he cursed , shoving himself up from the bed and rushing down the stairs.

“yo , what time is it?” he shouted , hoping one of his many friends would answer him. they all looked over their shoulders from the living room , seeing the blonde stumble around , yanking his clothes and boots on.

“its like quarter to ten,” pope called back out , looking down at his watch.

“fuckkkk!” jj groaned , grabbing the keys to the van, “i’m late! takin’ the twinkie!” he announced , shoving through the front door and bounding down the porch steps. he didn’t even bother to close the door on the way out , instead just hopping behind the van’s wheel and peeling off to figure eight.

kie came around the corner , a couple of water bottles for her friends. “what was that about?” she hummed , looking out the open door.

“he has that thing with the pastor’s kid,” john b answered with a smug smile , grabbing the bottle being held out to him, “he told us ‘bout it yesterday , remember?”

“ohhh , yeah!” kie mused , mind replaying yesterday’s events at the wreck, “she’s cute.”

“she’s also way too polite for jj,” sarah laughed , stealing the water from her husband, “i mean , i remember her from school , and she was just so shy. kept to herself and all that.”

pope shook his head , swallowing down more of his cereal, “nah , they used to be friends way back when though.”

“what?” the girls all gasped.

“rude boy was friends with that shy thing from kie’s parents’ place?” cleo asked , only just ‘meeting’ you yesterday but still as invested.

pope and john b nodded together , recalling a time before high school when jj would skip out on their hangouts to do something with you. ‘family friend , guys. i feel bad,’ he’d lie to them , getting out of whatever they had planned to spend time with you instead.

the group continued theorizing what jj was helping you with , not getting the complete story from him the day before. all the while he was speeding across the island to get to your door before it was ten o’clock. his blue eyes kept darting to the dashboard’s clock , seeing his time run out faster and faster. 9:57 , and he was just now getting to figure eight.

“mom , if jj shows up , will you tell him i’m sick?” you asked quietly , walking into the kitchen where she was working on her laptop.

she peered up at you over her glasses. “jj maybank , your boyfriend?” she smiled , patting for you to sit next to her in the breakfast nook as she was still over the moon from your news earlier in the week, “what’s he coming over to do?”

“he’s not invited anymore,” you corrected her , resting your chin on her shoulder as you looked at her computer screen. it was a spreadsheet , an itinerary for the next weeks approaching midsummers. “he’s late , so i’m upset.”

“well , you can’t blame him , hon,” your mother cooed at you, “he’s probably on the way. give him more than two minutes.” you held back from rolling your eyes at her soft spot for the boy after all of these years. after all of the tears she wiped away from your cheeks when you were fourteen.

“will you tell him i’m sick?” you pleaded again , pulling at the sleeves of her robe like a little kid.

she pressed a kiss to your forehead and tutted at you. “no , baby. we don’t lie in this house,” she answered , going back to typing and organizing on her laptop.

you huffed and pushed yourself out of the booth , straighten out your skirt. “fine , but i’m not happy about this,” you whined , beginning to walk out of the kitchen.

her voice called out your name again as she leaned forward to catch a glimpse of you. you stopped , turning to face her expectantly. “i think it’s a good thing you chose to give him a second chance.”

“yeah,” you sighed , guilt boiling in your gut , ignoring her knowing smile before walking to the front door. you’d just have to go to the fitting by yourself.

as you stepped outside , you could hear the rattle of a car nearing you from the street. it was loud enough to get your attention , telling you whoever was driving was going far too fast for the residential area. next thing you know , the beat up van you knew as john b’s twinkie was pulling into your driveway.

your hand raised above your sight line , blocking the sun so you could glare at jj. “didn’t get my twelve texts?” you asked him , watching as he practically fell out of the van upon his arrival which caused your embarrassment from the amount of times you tried contacting him to simmer.

“i’m sorry! my phone never got plugged in , s’my alarm didn’t go off. the damn twinkie gave out a couple blocks away , and i had to start ‘er back up—“ jj huffed out before you decided to just get in your car. he watched you , already feeling your disappointment.

you rolled down the passenger window , leaning over. “get in , please? we’re late,” you spoke , like you had already forgiven him , which you had. you saw how he was out of breath and the fresh grease stains on his fingers. it wasn’t his fault he was late.

jj ripped the door open , flopping into the passenger seat before buckling up. “where we headed , angel?” he asked you , already poking around in the car’s abundance of compartments.

“the tailor. we have to get you measured for your tux,” you simply answered , backing out of your driveway, “and i have to get re-measured too.”

jj nodded , chewing at his lip , and he couldn’t help but feel like you were giving him the cold shoulder. he was only eight minutes late. but maybe he just didn’t know you anymore. you spoke so much differently than you did from when you were kids , your voice clearer , more affirming. it sounded more like this was a business deal than an old friend doing an old friend a favor.

“it’s kinda like you’re my sugar momma for the next couple’a weeks,” jj chuckled to lighten to mood as you drive through the town’s center , eyeing all of the nice shops he never went to. it’s not like he wanted , but it was another reminder how differently you two grew up from each other.

you scoffed over your small laugh. “i guess so. in a weird way , yeah,” you agreed lightly , finding a parking spot right in front of the business you were going to, “just make sure to use your manners , please. katherine is friends with my dad and a huge gossip.”

“oh , yes , ma’am,” jj saluted you, “i will be prim and proper just for you , m’lady.” he got out of the car as you let out a shaky breath. you followed shortly after , seeing he was already holding the door open. “c’mon , you said we’re in a rush!”

you nudged him with your elbow when you stepped inside the small store. “i only said that so you’d hurry up. we don’t even have an appointment,” you admitted with a chuckle , picking up a pen at the front desk to sign in.

jj’s jaw dropped , letting out a gasp. “miss goodie-two-shoes lied?” he whisper yelled , hand coming to his heart, “is the world ending?”

“hush up,” you bit back , moving about the store as he followed you around like a lost puppy. he wasn’t about to go snooping around figure eight. he didn’t want to deal with it any more than he’d already agreed to.

“y/n! ah , so wonderful to see you , honey!” katherine’s shrill voice echoed through the building as she rushed to the front with her hands high and wide. you barely had time to smile back at her before she yanked you in for a hug. “you know , i’ve been waiting for your behind to get in here for your measurements for weeks!” she cried , guiding you to the back , not even sparing your blonde companion a second glance. you did though , catching jj standing there awkwardly in the front of the store.

“katherine , this is jj,” you interrupted her chatter , stopping to reach back and grab the boy’s hand, “i called about getting him set up with a tux for midsummers?”

katherine’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets when she took in who you were holding onto. “jj maybank…” she hummed , knowing exactly the reputation he and his father carried around, “i didn’t realize he was your plus one this year.”

you could hear the condescension in her voice , and by the tightening grip on your delicate hand , you knew jj could too. “well , he’s my boyfriend so…” you trailed off , waiting for katherine to just do her job and stop being like every other kook on the island. you never understood why your father considered her such a close friend. she was snippy and fake , and it was clear to you since the day you met.

“oh!” she smiled, “well come on back.” she turned to lead you both to the fitting areas , calling out her husband’s name to help out with jj’s measurements.

“boyfriend?” jj whispered to you , still holding your hand.

“didn’t i mention that?” you played dumb , knowing very well you left that little piece of information out yesterday when you got him to accept the deal.

“no , angel,” he shook his head , pulling you to a stop, “that’s like five hangouts worth! i only agreed because it was supposed to be one night of helpin’ ya out! and now you’re tellin’ me i gotta pretend to be your boyfriend too?” your hand reached up to cover jj’s mouth , looking around to make sure no one heard you.

“can we talk later?” you asked him , pleading eyes that begged him to leave it be for now.

but jj just scoffed , dropping your hand and flipping the curtain out of the way to follow after katherine.

YOU HADN’T heard a peep from the men’s parlor. katherine had been chatting in your ear the entire time she measured you , talking about everyone and everything. she mentioned having your family over to her house for dinner soon , which you made a mental note to bring up to your father when you got home later.

but you couldn’t help but think about jj behind the thick , velvet curtain. you heard katherine’s husband muttering every once in awhile , but never jj’s voice. was he actually mad at you? it was all pretend , and it would end right after midsummers. what was the big deal? he had done far worse things to you than omit some facts.

after long enough , katherine decided you didn’t even need to come in at all. “measurements are the same as last year , darling. you wasted your time here today,” she declared , sending the bill to your father’s account all while sending you an underlying message.

you shouldn’t have brought that maybank kid here.

“well , jj needed to get fitted too,” you smiled sweetly, “no harm done by comin’ in.” you were always deemed a nice girl. you were a nice girl , but there was only so much hidden snottiness you could deal with from certain people before becoming just as passive aggressive as them. “i’m actually going to go check on him,” you spoke , already turning to head back his way.

“she tells me we’re dating out of the blue , man! i don’t know what she was thinking , but she’s outta her mind!” you could finally hear jj’s cadence followed by marcus’ belly laugh.

“women,” he chuckled, “i’ll tell you right now , it doesn’t get any better. happy wife , happy life. get used to it , kid,” he advised the younger man , patting his shoulders before letting him know they were all done.

you stepped through the curtain , ignoring the tinge of hurt jj’s words caused in your heart while the metal loops glided across the curtain rod to announce your presence. “let’s go , jj.” you held your hand out to him , not giving him an option of taking his time. he could tell from the way your neck was stiff that something had upset you , so he wasted no time yanking his jeans back on. he didn’t want to be the reason for your cold attitude again. at least not for the rest of the day.

you dragged him out of the store , not sparing katherine a goodbye. you got in the car , buckling up as jj did the same before driving off in silence. it wasn’t long before you were driving through the streets of figure eight , being the only car on the road.

jj was poking around your glove compartment again , flipping through the owner’s manual to fill the car ride. he jumped and dropped the book to the floorboards when you let out a scream. he jolted and look over at you , watching the way your face nearly turned red from the air you were expelling from your body.

“yo , yo!” he shouted at you.

you took a deep breath , closing your eyes when you came to a stop sign. “sorry,” you mumbled , catching your breath still, “i just really , really dislike katherine! she’s so mean and snotty and two-faced! like , she was makin’ comments the entire time just poking at me!” you ranted , not caring that jj just saw you let out a scream you’d been holding in for about a week, “and don’t get me started on all of her implications about you.”

jj was still taken aback , not too sure what to say. he’d never seen you unravel like that before. he’d never thought you could. “um— well , at least we got it outta the way…” he tried to help the situation.

“yeah,” you nodded breathlessly , beginning to drive again like nothing had happened.

after a few more minutes of awkward silence , jj decided to speak up again , not forgetting what you tabled earlier. “boyfriend , huh?”

you sighed. you had forgotten about the conversation you still needed to have with him , so blinded by your frustrations. “yeah , so maybe my parents assumed that when i told them i had a date for midsummers last week , it was a boyfriend? and maybe i happened to leave that out when asking you to come with me?”

“oh , really?” jj feigned surprised, “i didn’t notice!”

“i’m sorry!” you cried, “but my dad wouldn’t stop bothering me about a date and then it all snowballed.” the pitch in your voice and pout in your lips made jj frown for a moment before focusing.

“i didn’t agree to playing house , princess,” jj reminded you , and your stomach dropped.

you pulled into the driveway , parking the car before shifting to look at him. “are you mad at me? you’re still gonna come to midsummers , right?” you needed him to say yes.

jj thought about it , not giving you any idea if he was backing out now or not. “five— no , six hangouts , and you have to come to a kegger,” he decided , nodding to himself. he felt like it was fair enough. if he would have to prance around figure eight as your arm candy for the next two weeks , you would have to start experiencing some of the cut. it was only right. a true balance he thought.

“but i don’t—“

“ah , ah ah!” he interrupted you , pressing a finger to your lips, “you’re not really in a position to negotiate , princess. i’m callin’ the shots now. if you want me to be your fake boyfriend for two weeks , i want you to start tagging along with the pogues. if not , you can just forget this whole thing.”

you stared at jj still surprised he touched your mouth. “i—“ you sighed , sitting back against your seat, “fine , but i’m not drinking or smoking or nothing.” you crossed your arms over your chest , making it clear you weren’t about to be pushed around on this anymore.

and he didn’t know why , but jj grinned. he knew this would all probably fall apart and cause a few problems— it was just what usually happened when he was involved in schemes , but he was excited. it would give him something to do for the next few weeks.

“pleasure doin’ business with ya , angel,” he smirked , climbing out of your car. he bent over , leaning down to the window. “now don’t just go around tellin’ everyone i’m taking your virginity or nothin’ either. i’ll play boyfriend , but i won’t have everyone thinking i’m corrupting father y/l/n’s precious daughter.”

your face crinkled up at jj’s words before you rolled up the window he was in. “excuse me?” you gasped , getting out of the car and rushing around to his side before smacking at him.

he laughed , blocking himself from the rapid but weak hits from your little purse. “i’m kidding!” he cackled , knowing it was a risky joke , but he had taken far greater risks with less rewards than pushing your buttons.

“you are so dirty , jj!” you huffed , getting one last thwack in at him, “maybe i’ll find a different date.”

“good luck with that,” jj breathed out , taking a step back in case you swung the bag at him again, “no one will put up with that little attitude of yours.”

“i do not have an attitude!” you argued back , flicking a few hairs out of your face, “you just make nasty comments.”

“jj , come on. we’re leaving!” he mimicked you , using his girl voice and waving his hands around, “that don’t sound familiar?” he questioned , hands on his hips after his performance.

you rolled your eyes , seeing that it probably wasn’t too far off. you weren’t blind to the fact that you were a little stuck up. it was never nasty or hateful , but you demanded a certain level of perfection from nearly everything in your life. “whatever , i don’t sound like that,” you finally spoke up , avoiding jj’s gaze, “thank you for showing up today.”

“you’re welcome , princess,” he smiled back , glad you were finally taking a joke, “i’ll text you whenever we’re gonna hangout,” he added with a thumbs up sent your way before hopping back into the twinkie. you watched him drive off before slipping back into your house.

jj couldn’t help but beat his thumb on the steering wheel to the radio’s tune , chuckling a little as he drove through the stop sign you were just screaming at. he’d missed so much of your life , that he hadn’t really gotten a good idea of who you were now. you were still girly and spoiled , but you were funnier than before— a natural humor that took control of your words and behaviors every now and then.

but then jj remembered why you were no longer friends , and his demeanor shifted , pissed off at himself for even saying yes yesterday to begin with. he knew this wouldn’t end well. john b said that last night after jj went to him about the situation too.

it was a disaster just waiting to happen.

hell , you were probably only doing this whole act to piss off your dad while still giving him what he wanted. the idea alone keyed jj up , feeling used now when he hadn’t thought to be before.

“yo , john!” he shouted , stomping into the house.

the brunette popped out from the living room , hardly moving from his position earlier when jj had left. “yes?” john b replied carefully , watching as jj kicked his boots off , clearly frustrated by something. he assumed it had to do with you , but had no idea what you could’ve done in two hours.

jj moved through the house , heading up to his room , hearing his friend follow him up. “you really think i’m gonna fall for that shit like i did last time?” he finally asked after shutting the door. he didn’t need any extra ears hearing his conversation.

john b furrowed his brows. what had you done to him? in two hours? “i don’t know , man. what happened today?” he joined his blonde friend on the bed , getting comfortable.

“so not only do i have to go to this fucking kook festival , right?” jj began , hearing john b’s quiet ‘you agreed to that’ but continuing to rant, “now i have to pretend to be her boyfriend! because she fuckin’ told her parents ‘bout dating me!”

“she what?” john b cracked up , not able to hold back his laughter just to spare jj some dignity, “why the hell would she do that? doesn’t her dad hate you or something?”

“yeah!” jj scoffed , silently thanking his friend for understanding.

“okay , but her mom loves you,” john b added , deciding he’d play devil’s advocate.

“yeah,” jj nodded , seeing the point, “but we haven’t spoken in years , and now she’s all like ‘be my fake boyfriend’ and ‘go to the prom with me’ and shit!” parroting your voice like he had done in your driveway.

it wasn’t the time , but john b kept chuckling at his friend. “man , i think you’re reading too deep into it. she needed a favor. you’re helping her out. that’s all,” he reasoned , sitting up in the bed now, “i know i told you to be wary , but i didn’t mean get paranoid. don’t get your panties in a twist because you have problems and she doesn’t.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” jj questioned , not expecting john b to turn on him. sarah or kie maybe. cleo and pope definitely , but not him.

john b sighed , rolling his eyes at how oblivious his friend was. “you’ve got residual shit coming up right now pretending to be some kook’s boyfriend , dude. you’re gonna have to handle that shit before you take it out on y/n. she seems nice enough to not fuck you over like camille,” he calmly explained , standing to leave, “besides it’s all fake anyway.” the boy simply patted jj’s shoulder before exiting the room , leaving jj to process his words alone with the name he tried his best to forget swirling in his mind on a loop.

meanwhile , back at your house , your sister had brought her friend over upon hearing certain details about your life she wanted to ask you about. you didn’t even make it up the stairs to your room before bella and her friend , olivia , were harassing you.

“why didn’t you tell me your boyfriend is jj? why didn’t you tell me you have a boyfriend?” bella shrieked in your ear , barging into your room after you. you sighed , tossing your purse onto your vanity before turning to face her.

“i didn’t tell you because it’s not your business,” you explained softly, “it’s not a big deal. i didn’t even want to tell mom and dad,” you admitted.

“wait— why not?” olivia wondered , sitting down on your bed with you and your sister.

“well , jj isn’t exactly dad’s favorite person,” you began , getting comfortable. you didn’t mind the intrusion from the younger girls. you actually enjoyed their company , so you had no problem telling them all about your errand with jj.

“but he’s sooo cute!” olivia whined , annoyed that you were so adamant about not actually liking him like that after you told them about the whole ruse.

“and he was always really nice to me,” bella added to their case. they were currently trying to convince you to really date him , even after telling them he never liked you like that.

you laughed at their interest but shook your head. “no , i don’t think i’ll ever actually date jj maybank,” you whispered , letting the words sink in. this was all fake. it was a favor. nothing more. you had to keep remembering that , or everything would fall apart , and you’d be stuck in high school , craving his attention all over again.

taglist @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @dcllhearts @snowtargaryen

[oh-no-its-bird]

The following program is brought to u from the depths of the nin-burger server w the help of @ohai-there, who's additions are marked by indented text

Mm. Into the Kakashiverse fic. Many Kakashi's. All the Kakashi's.

Its told from Obito's POV actually and it's just 10k of him losing his goddamn mind over all the Kakashi's

@ohai-there :

huff huff huff

something goes wrong with his kamui and all manner of kakashis come falling out of his eye

Oh my god

Some of the Kakashi's are legit fighting over him and some just don't care

The little yokai kid Kakashi ends up being his guide into Kashiland or smthn idk

Trying to help him get back home

it happens every time obito thinks about kakashi too strongly

there are like hundreds of him within the day

He's thinking ab Kakashi ALL THE TIME

He can't turn it off !!!!

hes just mentally ill like that

Kakashi plague. Its terminal.

....he doesn't want to get better anyways

He is surrounded by infinite Kakashi's. Kakashi no jutsu

thaats so real of him,,,,

He can summon bunny suit Kakashi at a whim

bunny suit kakashi is the most often summoned...

You know that "go for it XXX!" Draw ur character here meme?

That but it's "go for it Obito!" And all the Kakashi faces are different Kakashi's from the ✨ Kakashiverse ✨

Ok so um. Um.

Yokai kid Kakashi borrowing from @ohai-there's design. Who's a little dimension hopper, who also lost his dad (who is also a dimension hopper)

And he's like. Hopping from world to world looking for his dad, right? And whenever he world hops he usually goes to that worlds Kakashi for help / bc Sakumo might be w him

And somewhere along the way he runs into our Obito and somehow gets Obito to agree to help him (the why and how doesn't matter)

But now it's Obito on a multiversity journey lead by a little yokai kid kakashi. Meeting all these different versions of Kakashi and losing his mind ab it

I'm picturing the actual dimension travel as like. Wandering down a dark corridor between worlds with kakashi holding a lamp, guiding the way

(Easy for Obito to wander off the path and get lost and end up in a new world)

Kid Kakashi is pouting and going "you're supposed to help me find tou-san!! Not get lost yourself >:("

Maybe Sakumo lost his own lamp which is why Kakashi is looking for him, he's presumably lost his guiding light back

like its so dark that obito's brain starts making up The Horrors while little kid yokai kakashi is just

:3

as they walk

YES. PERFECT.

"Don't look in the dark too long, your puny mortal mind won't like it"

poor sakumo,,,

he lost his kid and now hes lost himself 😔

There's a metaphor somewhere in there ab Sakumo always losing himself no matter the circumstances/world

fr

bro cant get a break

and kakashis always the one picking up the pieces 😔

Thinking . Whatever kind of yokai they are can access the path between worlds + are (mostly) immune to the horrors that lurk there

But their family has the special lamps that they need to actually know what they're going, so without that it's fucking useless to try and get wherever ur going, you will be lost forever, never able to find the world u want to find

You can stumble out into other worlds and all but like.

You have no control of it

And there's a decent chance you'll get trapped in the dark anyways so it's best to just stay put in the first world u find

Which is presumably what Sakumo's doing

thats so real of him

u know how u tell children if ur lost just stay there and ur parents will come find u

Its that but opposite

Dw Sakumo, Kakashi will find you! Hopefully.

hopefully,,,,

+ 1 obito

Kakashi following little broken fragments of his father's shattered lantern where Sakumo's made a path of where he's been

Following the breadcrumbs,,,

+1 obito! Can't forget him!

what kind of a universe is sakumo waiting in....

Kakashi is living in a grim dark fairy tail ab following the magic breadcrumbs to find his missing father he's been searching for for a long time now

Meanwhile Obito is living it up in a moderately horny crack fic eyeing up bunny suit Kakashi's and having a seizure over a world where Kakashi is in love with him and comes on real strong when they bump into eachother the first time

the genre is a matter of perspective fr....

also obito being sooo tempted to want to stay in the universe where kakashi loves him so openly

but then little kakashi just :(

obito: 😬 shit. ok let's go

Obito has Kakashi's THROWING themselves at him but he can't abandon babykashi's quest 😔

But later..........

later,,,,

Surely he can come back with kamui

Surely

OBITO KAKASHIVERSE SEX TOUR AB TO HIT UP EVERY OPEN AND WILLING KAKASHI IN THE MULTIVERSE 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ ‼️‼️‼️

🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️

hes keeping a mental note of the path he had to take!!! of the vibes of each universe!!!

He had his sharingan ON when tracing the paths between worlds

And yeah, maybe he burned some of The Horrors Between Worlds into his brain forever bc of it. But you know what ELSE he burned into his brain??

IT WAS WORTH IT

what time obito is it too

post war??? he manages to survive somehow??? Or like when hes still doing his tobi thing

Tobi I think just bc hes at his most insane ab Kakashi

Peak humor and internal turmoil

based af,,,,

Tobi is being mistaken for the worlds real Obito in a world where Kakashi and him are married and just going w it. Yes, it is he. Ur husband. Who u married. Bc u are in love with him. And married. (Distant screaming noises)

Actually. Completely unrelated fic where Kamui allows Obito to dimension travel and he uses it to go to a dimension where him and Kakashi are married. And then he fucking murders the Obito there and takes his place, the end

Waaa art time!! Ohai also drew their own (honestly insane, beautiful, and tbb kind of stunning) piece [HERE] which you should look at immediatley.

Um. Um. Something about how Kakashi and Sakumo wear smthn over their eyes. And like how they're immune to the whole "Witnessing the horrors between worlds" thing. And like. Idk, implications there.

Are they truly immune to the horrors or is it the talismans on their faces that protect them? Who knows

immune to the horrors but also not immune to being lost without light

I'm gonna throw up !!!

Maybe the real lantern......was the light they made along the way........and when Sakumo lost his light....it was bc he lost kakashi...or smthn...

Is the lantern a metaphor for the will to live

It might be, who knows

kakashi wont lose his lantern as long as hes trying to find his dad,,

UGH!!! He starts to give up and his lantern cracks a little

STOP UR MAKING ME WANT TO MAKE THIS AN ACTUAL FIC WITH NAARATIVE I CANT DO THIS

Anyways. Final thoughts :

Obito living his best life in this one.

[genderqueerdykes]

its so funny when people see an inclusionist who is part of like, every possible oppressed minority within oppressed minority groups, and then they say something inclusionist that They Specifically are against and they go like "what the hell. i thought u were better than this. i expected you to not have empathy for The Bad People." its ridiculous anyway thanks for being so chill and always open minded ur blog makes me feel safe

it makes me want to bite a chunk out of my desk

i've had this happen to me so many times over xyz thing and it baffles me. i don't get why people think that just because they like my vibe that it means that i'll agree with everything they have to say. and i really don't like it when someone struts into my ask box acting like they have pity for me, or are "scared" for me for "not knowing better". it actually pisses me the fuck off that people think they know what's best for me.

i do not understand why people look at how inclusive i am and go. i bet equinox hates (marginalized group). on what planet? i'm intersex. i'm trans. i'm bisexual. i'm biracial. i'm disabled. i'm neurodivergent. i'm mentally ill. i'm poor. i've been chronically homeless. like i could keep going. why do people think that i harbor hatred in my heart like this? i don't. i don't want anything to do with your hatred and looking down on people

i don't look down on people. i think that's what irritates me the most is when someone projects how they look down on others on to me. keep that to yourself. i'm not in the business of looking down on people who haven't harmed anyone. people really have to learn that something irritating them isn't harming them. getting annoyed is not the same as being harmed.

i don't entertain people like that because i do not owe someone i disagree with validation. i am not humoring people who think it's okay to be an asshole. if i'm well known for not being an asshole, what the hell makes people think i'll change just for them? get real. i'm not going to start excluding random groups of people from communities they rightfully occupy. maybe i just have too much lived experience, but i'm not narrow minded, and my goal in life isn't to make people feel like shit. my goal in life is to help people. hating a marginalized group will never be helping anyone

thank you for this message, genuinely, because the amount of people who have crawled into my ask box lately with the most bullshit exclusionist takes thinking that for some reason, i'll bend to pat them, in specific, on the back, has been staggering. idk why people think that i inherently agree with them just because they agree with me. i'm not your weird little yes man to pat you on the back and give you validation. i'm a person with my own thoughts.

take care of yourself, thank you so much for the kind words! i appreciate it more than i could ever express

[reverieblondie]

What if Raphael teleported himself to Tav and she just so happens to be completely naked? Like they haven't really begun courting yet, and BAM! Now he is in her home and he is seeing the object of his affections interests in all of her glory when he wasn't expecting to.

Bonus points if Tav is super calm about it - minus any initial surprise - and just sighs and casually goes to start covering up, maybe while saying "So what can I do for you, Raphael?" or mumbling something like "And this kind of thing was why I asked Korrilla to tell me when to expect you. So much for 'that would never happen'... "

You can decide what happens from there.

A/N: Thank you for this ask! I actually have made this ask a part one to another ask that will be its part two. ( I hope that makes sense! ) Anyway, sorry for the wait and hope you enjoy! Starts off steamy but the ending is more silly. MDNI! 18+ only!

Oops...

He tries to focus on the show in front of him. Raphael crosses his legs. Lounging back in his chair, he intently watches as Harrlep makes the moaning tiefling bend over on all fours. 

These are always his favorites when a client so enamored with him is rewarded with Haarlep. It's the perfect cycle, the client is rewarded for their loyalty, Haarlep is fed, and Raphael gets to feel the ghost of pleasure on his cock as the person is beautifully ravaged. Always so captivated as sharp claws traced down their backs letting beautiful drops of crimson cascade down their skin and decorated his satin sheets. Then there is the musical sound of horse wanton moans with desperate cries of more. 

But today… It's doing nothing. 

Even as Harrlep yanks on the man's tail, making him scream and rut himself back on the incubus's  cock faster. It still stirs nothing; Raphael looks down at his crotch, where he feels everything but nothing in making it swell. He's never had this problem before, and now he's bored of this show.

"Stop, stop," he commands, making Harrlep pause their thrust. 

Haarlep sighs, rolling their eyes while pulling the man's tailback, keeping his ass warming their cock. "Do I need to remind you about critiquing my fucking again?" 

Raphael sneers at the incubus, "No. I'm simply bored." 

Haarlep smirks, leaning down to the man, lifting his head by the horns to face Rapheal. The man's dark eyes are full of tears, his cheeks flushed and panting for breath. "Hear that, darling? You're boring the master…" 

Their words of cruelty taunt as the man's cock throbs, precum drooling out as he lets out a sob. Haarleps's hips started to roll again at the delicious sound and the feel of his quivering. Incubus are always so torturous to their meals. 

Raphael waves a hand before Haarlep can resume their pace, "Go take him somewhere else; leave me alone." 

Haarlep hums, continuing to tease their current meal, til a cruel smirk twists to their lips. "So sorry, pretty boy, but Raphael would have preferred to watch a little mouse instead."

They snap their fingers before Raphael can yell at Haarlep and disappear with the man. They will take all they can from him to get their fill. Raphael has been rather neglectful to his incubus as of late… but to mention you of all people…

Raphael twists his chair to face his desk where contracts sit, waiting in their draft forms. It takes no effort from him to pluck up one of the rolls of parchment and find the contract he had written just for you. You're so clever, having never signed it, much to Raphal's annoyance. Though his mind still lingers back to you. And though your name is not here, it still echoes in his mind. Haarlep, as insufferable as they are, does have a point… Raphael longs to see you, to see you in his bed… though he wouldn't be just watching on the side, Raphael would be the one tracing his long nails down your body, the one to be thrusting you into submission as your body sweats and quivers to take all of him. 

The mere thought of it makes his body grow hotter, and his cock finally twitch. Raphael rolls his eyes at himself; those thoughts get him to stir. 

Not only has Raphael been thinking of your body and how it could be twisted for all of his pleasures, but he also just wonders about you and what you're doing… He could send Korrilla to spy on you, though he doesn't know if he could merely be satiated with retelling your daily happenings. No, he wants to witness it, watch as you wake, follow you as you stroll through the city, and see your wit and quick nature to the worms that dare test you or flirt with you.  

The thought makes him sneer. He needs to get eyes on you; the sooner, the better. Standing, Raphael makes sure his hair is fixed, and his clothes are present. Once he deems himself suitable, he snaps his fingers and lets the blaze transport him. 

Raphaels is already practicing what he will say once he sees you again, but as he's transported to you and finally sees you, all of that rehearsing goes out the window. When the cambion, after all this time, finally gets to see his little mouse, he gets the privilege of seeing her in all her natural glory. From the steam and water running down the curves of your body, it's clear to him that you have just gotten out of the bath. The other thing he observes is that you don't seem all that surprised to see him.

You eye him up and down before rolling your eyes and reaching for a towel. "You have impeccable timing, Raphael..." You wrap yourself up and stroll over to the cambion. "What can I help you with, Raphael?"

Raphael feels his whole body approach him. You could help him with things... but those desires are forced to wait.

"Mouse, I'm hurt. How do you know this isn't just a friendly visit? "

A scoff leaves your throat as you turn away from him, dropping your towel as you do behind a Changing divider. "You don't do friendly Visits in my experience..."

 Raphael tsk. "my, you are cynical.."

You come from behind the divider in a simple outfit, and only you can enhance it into something beautiful... You fold your arms over and do that slight frown that drives him mad... "What have you come for?"

You... he Wants to say, but he bites his tongue.

Raphael is trying to keep his cool facade and does some quick thinking.

"Well, mouse, if you must know... I'm here for your home."

You look at him confused, "My home? Why?"

Raphael steps forward, carefully brushing your hair from your shoulder. "The house of hope has been... busy as of late... the screams, the questions from servants, Haarleps... loud feeding... it's all so distracting... even a devil needs an escape."

"Why my home?"

Rapheul smiles at the simple question, "You have always been my favorite client's mouse."

A Smile threatens to curl to your lips," so you want to use my house as an escape? What if I'm not here?"

"I can find my way around..."

"What if I'm here

"I wouldn't mind, it is your house…"

You think momentarily, "What if I bring a guest over?

Raphael Shrugs as his fingers trace your skin, "Tell them I'm your roommate ... or your lover…

Raphael feels you tremble, "What's the catch?"

"No catch, just sometimes unexpected company." 

You think long before nodding, "Fine, but I have some terms for you to follow." 

"Deal." 

[beemovieerotica]

I just saw your post (one of? ) where you discuss your OCD symptoms, and they sounded... Familiar, for lack of a better word. I went into a therapist recently for anxiety and intrusive thoughts, and she wanted to evaluate me for OCD. My dad has diagnosed OCD, and I don't think that my internal experiences match his at all. I really feel like I just have stress-correlated anxiety. Do you mind talking about what your OCD experience is like, for comparison?

oh 100% my ocd ramps up a lot with stress. I have a lot going on but basically ocd can attach itself to anything in your environment and create reasons for why it is an existential threat. anything can be a trigger.

there's also a distinction where people may do none of the habitual compulsions (like physically checking things) and it's all just things revolving in their head - this is a lot of what I have. but yeah here are some more common symptoms / subtypes im familiar with that do get screened for by specialists:

intrusive thoughts like horror movie imagery throughout the day

spiraling what-if catastrophe scenarios that go on for minutes at a time where I just kind of blank out and get wrapped up in an extremely vivid and distressing daydream that feels like it's actually happening. like I will straight up start grieving for someone who is not dead.

superstitions/very specific fear-based beliefs that go beyond what would be typical for the person's religion. centered on blasphemy, moral goodness, purifying one's thoughts, punishing one's self, believing you deserve retribution/death, etc

believing that you're going to hurt/kill yourself and having obsessive suicidal thoughts. suicidal ocd is different from actual suicidality but a lot of providers don't know this or that it needs to be treated differently - it can lead to highly avoidant behavior like not wanting to use kitchen knives or being near ledges out of fear that you will do something.

questioning your memories of the past. being convinced that something horrifying and traumatic happened to you but you just can't remember it, obsessively analyzing memories to try and fill in the gaps. you can develop false memories in this process.

persistent fear of forgetting things, needing to feel like you have to remember everything all the time to avoid catastrophe

re-playing conversations word for word in your head hours or days after something happened over and over assessing everything that happened to try and figure out the precise way in which you fucked up

no amount of re-checking can reliably convince you that you haven't fucked up, or maybe you do get a moment of peace before something else takes its place

also, I heard somewhere that having 1 parent with ocd gives you a 50% chance of developing it...ough.

[chrisstvrns]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖: 𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍 ⊹₊✮˙

aurora's matt sturniolo & fangirl!reader au

warnings: fast moving relationship, use of y/n, second person pov.

disclaimer: i did not go to either of the triplets’ tours, so i do not know how they worked, and i included barely any description of the actual show lmao. this is a long one im sorryyyyy.

word count: 6.3k

you’re awoken by the sounds of chris and nick’s giggles, followed by the sound of matt’s tired voice, mumbling for them to ‘shut the fuck up.’

you’re facing the wall, your eyes gently fluttered open. the first thing that registers in your mind is the feeling of a body next to you, then realizing it’s matt.

for a second, your brain doesn’t quite piece it together. the warmth radiating from him, the steady rise and fall of his breathing—it all feels too comfortable, too natural. but then it hits you, and you stiffen slightly. you both must’ve knocked out while watching that dumb movie last night, the one matt insisted wasn’t boring, even though he fell asleep halfway through.

his arm is slung lazily over your waist, not in an intimate way, but more like he’s forgotten you’re even there. you consider moving, but the thought of waking him fully and having to explain feels way more awkward than just… waiting it out. besides, it’s not like this means anything. you’re just friends.

still, the sound of chris and nick’s whispers—followed by more giggles—makes your face heat up. you can already tell they’re gonna give you shit for this.

you try to focus on anything else, your eyes tracing patterns in the wall, but it’s no use.

matt shifts slightly, his hand brushing your side as he groans quietly. 

“jesus, what time is it?” his voice is rough with sleep, and you swear it makes your heart skip a beat, though you quickly shake the thought away.

before you can answer, chris’ voice cuts through from the doorway. 

“oh, it’s definitely time for us to take a picture of this.” you hear the unmistakable click of a phone camera, followed by nick trying (and failing) to hold in a cackle.

matt groans louder, burying his face into the pillow. 

“i’m gonna kill both of you,” he mutters, his words muffled, but you can hear the underlying frustration—and maybe just a hint of embarrassment.

“yeah, yeah, sure. i cant wait to slap it on a christmas card” nick says, still laughing. “but seriously, this is adorable. can’t wait to tell everyone you guys are cuddling now.”

your face burns, and matt finally lifts his head to glare at them. “we’re not cuddling,” he snaps, his hand falling away from your waist like he just remembered it was there. “we just… fell asleep. shut up.”

but the damage is done, and chris and nick are already halfway down the hall, cackling like maniacs. you glance at matt, who’s rubbing his face with both hands, clearly trying to wake up properly.

“well,” you mumble, breaking the silence, “this isn’t awkward at all.”

matt lets out a dry laugh, dropping his hands to look at you. “could be worse.”

“how?”

“i dunno, its not the worst thing in the world.”

you groan, flopping back against the pillow as he smirks. even though you’re mortified, a small part of you is grateful for how easily he brushes it off. just friends. no big deal. right? 

as you sit up, the clutter of the room reminds you that this isn’t some random hotel—it’s matt’s literal house. matt glances around, scratching the back of his neck. “i’ll head downstairs to get ready,” he says casually, like he’s trying not to make it weird. “you can have the room.”

you nod, grateful for the unspoken gesture. “thanks.”

he grabs his phone from the nightstand and heads for the door, pausing to shoot you a tired smile. “don’t take too long, though. if chris and nick get bored, they’ll probably try to sabotage something.”

“noted,” you reply, watching him disappear down the hallway.

once the door clicks shut, you exhale, the silence feeling oddly heavy after he leaves. shaking it off, you dig through your suitcase for an outfit. eventually, you settle on a long sleeved, black crop top, paired with baggy jeans and your favorite white sneakers. you brush your hair back into a neat ponytail, letting a few strands frame your face, and add small gold hoop earrings for a bit of sparkle. a dainty gold chain necklace completes the look, subtle but enough to make you feel put together.

downstairs, you can hear faint movement—probably matt in the bathroom, dealing with his hair or brushing off the sleep from his face.

when you finally head down, you spot him leaning against the kitchen counter, looking way more awake, now dressed in ripped jeans and a hoodie. his hair is damp, like he splashed water on it to tame the bedhead, and he’s sipping a mug of coffee while chris and nick argue over which shoes to wear.

“ready?” matt asks, his voice casual, but his eyes flick to you briefly, like he’s checking to make sure you’re okay.

you nod, shooting him a small smile.

he nods, pushing off the counter. “good. i, uh, i have something for you. if you want?”

he reaches in a target bag, pulling out a green ‘boston celtics’ jersey, handing it to you. you smile in disbelief, your fingers brushing the soft fabric of the jersey. "wait, really?" you ask, a surprised laugh escaping your lips.

matt shrugs casually, a playful smile tugging at his mouth. "yeah, i thought you might like it. everyone else is wearing one, so figured it'd be a fun way for you to join in."

you laugh, looking down at the jersey. "this is so cool, matt. i didn’t expect you to think of something like this."

"well, you’ve been hanging with us for a few days now. felt like it was time you got one too," he says with a grin, clearly pleased with himself.

you look up at him, the gesture meaning more than you expected. "thank you. i’ll definitely wear it today.”

you smile, holding the jersey close, feeling a little more at home with each passing moment. "this really is perfect," you say, already excited to wear it. you pull it over your head, brushing the front to smooth any wrinkles. 

nick and chris stumble into the kitchen, and with that, the four of you pile into the chaos of the morning, gearing up for what’s bound to be a long—and unforgettable—final show.

as you all pile out the front door and toward the car, chris makes a beeline for the passenger seat, like he always does. it’s clearly routine for him to sit up front, but before he can even grab the handle, matt stops him.

“hey, no. you’re in the back this time,” matt says, unlocking the car with a beep.

chris turns around, his brows knitting together in exaggerated disbelief. “excuse me? since when?”

“since today,” matt replies casually, tilting his head toward you. “she’s sitting up front.”

chris groans, throwing his hands up. “you’re kicking me out? for her?”

matt raises an eyebrow, his tone flat. “yeah. problem?”

nick laughs as he climbs into the backseat, already enjoying the drama. “tough break, chris. guess you’re not the favorite anymore.”

chris glares at him, muttering something about betrayal, but he eventually shuffles to the back. “unbelievable,” he grumbles, slamming the door behind him.

you hesitate for a second, glancing at matt. “are you sure? i don’t want to—”

“get in,” matt interrupts, his tone firm but not unkind. “it’s fine.”

with a small nod, you slide into the passenger seat, trying not to overthink the gesture. it’s just a seat—no big deal. right?

the car ride starts off quiet, the kind of morning lull where everyone’s still waking up. chris and nick are already bickering over something in the backseat—probably who gets the last pack of gummy snacks in nick’s bag—and matt seems content to ignore them, his focus on the road.

“you excited for today?” you ask after a few minutes, breaking the silence.

matt shrugs, one hand resting loosely on the wheel, his head resting on the other as his elbow in propped up against the window. “yeah, should be fun. long, though.”

“you say that every time,” chris pipes up from the back. “and then you’re the one who spends the most time talking to people.”

“yeah, because i’m not a robot like you,” matt shoots back.

nick snickers. “matt’s just better at pretending he doesn’t hate people.”

“i don’t hate people,” matt says, rolling his eyes. “i just like talking to the ones who aren’t annoying.”

chris gasps dramatically. “so you do think our fans are annoying!”

“Jesus christ,” matt mutters, shaking his head as you try—and fail—not to laugh.

you glance out the window, the scenery blurring past as you head toward the venue. it’s the triplets only hometown show, so you know it’ll still be packed with fans eager to meet the trio.

after a moment, matt speaks again, his voice more thoughtful. “it’s kind of funny, though. people always think i’m the quiet one, like i don’t talk much in the videos.”

“because you don’t talk much in the videos,” chris interrupts.

“yeah, because you and nick never shut up,” matt counters, his tone dry but playful. “you think i can get a word in when you’re arguing about god knows what?”

nick leans forward, grinning. “it’s usually something important. you just don’t understand it.”

matt ignores him, glancing at you briefly before continuing. “but in real life? i don’t mind talking to people. it’s kind of nice, actually. like at these meet-and-greets—it’s cool hearing their stories and stuff.”

chris groans from the back. “oh, here we go. matt, the social butterfly. what’s next? you gonna write a self-help book?”

matt smirks. “maybe. chapter one: don’t be like chris.”

nick cackles, and chris crosses his arms with a dramatic sigh. “i’m being slandered in my own car on the way to my own tour. unreal.”

you smile, watching the dynamic unfold. it’s true—matt might come off as reserved online, but in reality, he’s the first to start a conversation, the first to ask someone about their day, the first to make things feel easy. there’s something steady about him, something that makes you feel comfortable even in moments like this.

as nick and chris argue over something else, matt shoots you a quick, knowing look, like he’s in on the joke with you. “don’t let them fool you,” he says quietly. “i’m the normal one here.”

“sure you are,” you reply, grinning, and he chuckles softly before turning his focus back to the road.

the rest of the ride, nick and chris bickered back and forth about the most random things ever, while you and matt sat in silence, occasionally giggling at his brothers. it wasnt an awkward silence. not at all. it was comfortable. 

as the car nears the venue, the chatter from the backseat finally begins to die down. nick scrolls through his phone while chris dramatically recounts a story about some fan interaction from the last stop on the tour. you catch snippets of it, something about someone comparing him to a cartoon character, but you’re too focused on the quiet hum of the car and the occasional glance matt steals your way.

“almost there,” matt says softly, his eyes on the road but his tone carrying a hint of reassurance, like he can sense your nerves.  

you nod, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “do you guys ever get nervous for these?”  

matt considers it for a moment before shrugging. “not really. it’s kind of nice, meeting everyone. makes the videos feel more... real, if that makes sense.”  

“it does,” you reply, smiling at his honesty.  

“he’s lying,” chris interjects from the back. “he totally gets nervous. nick, remember the start of tour when he almost threw up before we started?”  

“i wasn’t nervous,” matt corrects, shooting chris a glare through the rearview mirror. “i ate bad chicken.”  

nick bursts out laughing. “sure, dude. keep telling yourself that.”  

matt rolls his eyes, but you can see the corner of his mouth twitch, like he’s trying not to laugh. “whatever. at least i don’t forget people’s names mid-conversation, nick.”  

“hey, that was one time!” nick defends himself, but his laughter gives him away.  

“one time too many,” matt quips, his tone light.  

as the venue comes into view, the quiet buzz of excitement settles over the car. you can see a small crowd already gathered near the entrance, holding signs and chatting animatedly among themselves.  

matt slows the car, turning into the parking lot and finding a spot near the back entrance. he cuts the engine and turns to look at you, his expression softer than usual. “ready?”  

you take a deep breath and nod. “ready.”  

“let’s do this, then,” he says, his voice steady, like a calm anchor in the midst of the chaos.  

nick and chris pile out of the car first, their bickering temporarily replaced by excitement as they grab their bags and start debating who’s going to carry what. matt lingers for a second, waiting for you to step out before closing the door behind you.  

as you walk toward the entrance together, matt leans down slightly, his voice low enough that only you can hear. “if they start being too much, just stick with me. i’ll keep them in check.”  

you laugh softly, glancing up at him. “thanks, but i think i can handle it.”  

“we’ll see,” he replies, smirking as he holds the door open for you.  

inside, the energy is palpable. staff members are setting up tables, arranging merch, and running through last-minute details. nick and chris are already bouncing between conversations, their loud voices filling the room.  

matt stays by your side, his demeanor calm but attentive as he checks in with the team. it’s a side of him you don’t often see in the videos—confident, organized, and entirely in his element.  

“okay,” he says after a moment, turning to you. “just stay close. these things get hectic fast.”  

you nod, and for the first time all morning, you feel completely at ease. no matter how chaotic the day gets, you know matt will make sure it’s nothing you can’t handle.

you all enter the venue, matt guiding you to the area backstage where he’s meeting with his manager. matt told you about laura, she has a daughter, madi, the same age as you. 

as you step into the backstage area, madi immediately spots the triplets and waves, making her way over to the four of you. “finally! thought you guys were gonna leave me hanging all morning.”  

chris groans. “we’re literally early. how do you have energy to complain already?”  

“because i’ve been up for hours helping mom set up,” madi shoots back, crossing her arms. “meanwhile, you three probably rolled out of bed ten minutes ago.”  

“not true,” nick says, grabbing a bottle of water from the table. “it was, like, an hour ago.”  

madi rolls her eyes, grinning as she turns to you. “and you must be the one who actually knows how to stay on schedule.”  

you laugh. “i try, but i’m not sure i’m much better.”  

“don’t let them drag you down with them,” she says, gesturing at the triplets. “it’s a slippery slope.”  

matt smirks. “because you’re such a great example?”  

“absolutely,” madi says without hesitation, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “unlike you, i know how to multitask.”  

“yeah, we can tell,” matt says dryly, nodding at the clipboard she’s carrying.  

“someone has to keep things moving,” madi replies, glancing at the clipboard before looking back up. “and clearly, it’s not you three.”  

chris gasps dramatically. “wow, okay, just call us useless to our faces.”  

“you said it, not me,” madi quips, grinning as nick snickers.  

laura walks in then, holding her own clipboard. “alright, everybody, focus. soundcheck is in ten, and i don’t want any last-minute disasters this time.”  

“define disaster,” chris says innocently, earning a pointed look from laura.  

“i think she means you,” madi teases, shooting chris a smug grin.  

nick laughs as laura claps her hands to cut them off. “let’s go! we’re already behind.”  

the triplets groan but start moving toward the stage, still throwing jabs at each other as they leave.  

madi watches them go, shaking her head with a smile. “i swear, they’re like this all the time. you get used to it, though.”  

“they definitely keep things interesting,” you say, laughing softly.  

she nods. “come on, let’s grab some snacks before they get back and eat everything. you’ll need the energy for today.”  

with that, she guides you toward the catering table, chatting easily about the morning’s setup and laughing at your reactions to her stories. her laid-back demeanor makes everything feel natural, and by the time the triplets return, you’re already starting to feel like part of the group. 

you and madi continue your conversation when you feel a hand brush your arm. you turn, seeing marylou and jimmy approaching.  

“hi, sweethearts!” marylou chirps, leaning in to hug you first, then madi.  

“hi, guys!” madi says politely, though her smile is more reserved. “the boys are in soundcheck right now. they should be done soon!”  

jimmy leans against a nearby table, his casual demeanor setting the tone. “so, y/n, how’s boston treating ya?”  

“it’s so nice! i’ve always wanted to come here, so it’s great to finally be here!” you reply warmly.  

“that’s what we like to hear,” marylou says, her smile lighting up her face. “you should try to explore a little while you’re here. there’s so much to see!”  

“like what?” you ask, genuinely curious.  

“the freedom trail’s always a hit,” jimmy offers, his tone enthusiastic. “history everywhere you look.”  

“and the public garden,” marylou adds. “oh, and fenway park! even if you’re not a baseball fan, it’s worth seeing.”  

“it sounds like there’s a lot to fit in,” you say with a small laugh, adjusting your bracelet.  

marylou nods eagerly. “if you need suggestions, just ask. jimmy and i have lived here long enough to know all the best spots.”  

madi smiles, responding. “i’ve been to boston a bunch times, with the triplets of course, but i’ve never really explored it much. it’s usually just work or family visits.”  

“then this could be your chance,” jimmy says with a friendly smile. “take a day to see the sights. you won’t regret it.”  

“i’ll keep that in mind,” madi replies, her tone polite.  

you glance between them, sensing the slight awkwardness, but before you can say anything, the sound of footsteps fills the hallway. the triplets emerge from soundcheck, their voices loud and energetic as they approach.  

“there they are!” marylou says, her expression brightening.  

“sound good in there?” jimmy asks, standing up straight.  

“always,” matt replies with a small smile, grabbing a water bottle from the table.  

“you guys behaving yourselves?” marylou asks, narrowing her eyes playfully at chris.  

“define behaving,” chris quips, earning a quiet chuckle from nick.  

marylou shakes her head with an amused sigh, then glances at you and madi. “we’ll let you all get back to it. y/n, madi, it was lovely to see you both!”  

“you too!” you say warmly, while madi nods with a polite smile.  

as marylou and jimmy head off to talk with some of the crew, matt looks over at you and madi. “what’d they talk your ear off about?”  

“tourist spots” you say with a grin.   

“classic,” matt mutters, running a hand through his hair.  

“you say that like it’s a bad thing,” nick points out, grabbing a chair and sitting backward on it.  

“it’s not. it’s just... intense,” matt replies, glancing at madi. “they try to get you to plan a whole trip too?”  

“not really,” madi says, shrugging. “but they’ve got a lot of suggestions.”  

“yeah, that sounds about right,” matt says with a small smirk.  

the group settles into easy chatter, the earlier awkwardness fading as the triplets steer the conversation back to the show ahead. the energy is light, the day ahead promising to be both busy and memorable. 

suddenly, chris jumps up, running toward the door, shouting something incoherent. a few minutes later, and returns with his best friend, nathan, by his side. the boys are chatting about something random, but when they approach the four of you again their conversation pauses. nate hugs madi, doing his regular handshake with matt and nick, then turning to you. 

“you must be y/n! ive heard alot about you!” 

“yeah, i am! hopefully good things?” you slightly laugh, matt coming to stand right next to you

“yeah, dont worry. matt never stops talking about you” nate laughs, looking at matt 

matt shifts awkwardly beside you, scratching the back of his neck, his cheeks turning a shade pinker than usual.

"nate," matt warns, his voice low but firm, giving his best friend a pointed look.

nate just grins, clearly unbothered, and shrugs. "what? it's true." he looks back at you, his tone teasing but warm. "he’s been hyping you up since the minute you said yes to coming to boston. you’re basically a celebrity in the group chat at this point."

you laugh softly, glancing up at matt, who’s now pretending to be very interested in the ground. "well, that’s sweet. i hope i live up to the hype."

"you already do," matt mumbles under his breath, barely audible but enough for you to catch it.

your heart skips a beat, but before you can say anything, chris claps his hands loudly, breaking the tension. "okay, are we gonna stand here all day, or are we actually gonna go meet the fans?"

madi nods in agreement, already pulling nate toward her and you, knowing fans are starting to line up outside. "c’mon, let’s grab some food and head up to the balcony. i’m starving." 

you, madi, and nate part ways with the triplets, as they go to meet their fans. you make your way up to the balcony above, looking down at all the fans eager to meet the three. 

even though he was meeting fans, matt occasionally glanced up at you, talking with his friends. the conversation was so natural, as if you had been friends with nate and madi for years. 

“okay, so. penne, or spaghetti?” nate questions, leaning against a wall

“penne. no question about it.” you respond, sitting on the couch with madi. 

nate nods thoughtfully, pretending to weigh the options like it’s the most important decision of his life. “fair choice, but hear me out—spaghetti has better twirlability. that’s gotta count for something.”

madi laughs, tucking her legs under her as she adjusts on the couch. “twirlability? that’s not even a word.”

“it is now,” nate retorts, grinning. “and it’s a key factor in pasta ranking, thank you very much.”

“you’re ridiculous,” you say, shaking your head with a smile. “but fine, if we’re talking twirlability, maybe spaghetti does win.”

“ha! see?” nate exclaims, pointing at you triumphantly. “a fellow spaghetti lover.”

madi rolls her eyes but is clearly amused. “youre impossible.”

the sound of laughter and chatter from below drifts up to the balcony, blending with your own conversation. every so often, matt glances up from the meet and greet, his expression softening when he spots you laughing with nate and madi.  

"look at him," madi says, nudging you playfully as she notices matt's quick glance upward. "he keeps checking up here."

"he's probably making sure we’re okay and not bored out of our minds," you joke, trying to ignore the warmth creeping up your face.  

nate raises an eyebrow. "or maybe he’s just making sure you’re okay."  

you wave it off, focusing on the fans below as they light up meeting the triplets. “he’s busy. let’s not distract him.”

“oh, please. like we’re a distraction,” madi teases, leaning back into the cushions.

the three of you continue chatting, the easy rhythm of the conversation making time fly. the balcony feels like its own little world, separate from the bustling excitement below, but connected enough to feel the energy in the room. marylou and jimmy chat with justin, the triplets older, half brother a few feet away from the three of you. 

eventually, they get through meeting all the fans, and its time to go onstage. after performances by ysb tril and lxst, the triplets enter the stage, talking with the fans, interacting with them, the whole lot. 

laura, who was backstage the whole time, suddenly comes up next to you, madi, and nate, signaling for the three of you, along with marylou, jimmy, and justin, to start heading backstage. 

you all follow her, and as soon as matt catches the slightest glimpse of you, his smile grows. the triplets call you seven of you out on stage, matt immediately wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

as matt pulls you closer, the crowd erupts into cheers, the energy in the room electric. nick and chris greet everyone warmly, playfully introducing each of you to the audience.  

“and this is y/n!” matt says, his voice full of enthusiasm. “she’s a new friend of ours, but it already feels like we’ve known her forever.”  

you smile, giving a small wave as the crowd cheers. madi leans toward nate, whispering something that makes him laugh quietly, while marylou and jimmy exchange grins, soaking in the moment.  

“alright, let’s get back to what you guys really came for!” nick says, addressing the audience with a grin. “who’s got a good question for us?”  

the fans eagerly raise their hands, and the triplets begin answering everything from lighthearted questions about their favorite foods to more thoughtful ones about their journey so far. the atmosphere is fun and casual, with occasional bursts of laughter from the triplets' quick wit and playful banter.  

you and the rest of the group retreat to the side of the stage, watching the interaction unfold. madi leans against the wall, smiling as nick teases chris about a story from their childhood.  

“they really know how to keep everyone engaged,” nate says, arms crossed as he takes it all in.  

“yeah, it’s impressive,” you reply, your gaze flicking to matt, who occasionally glances your way with a soft smile.  

the meet and greet continues, the triplets effortlessly switching between playful and heartfelt moments with their fans. after some time, they wrap up the event with a round of thank-yous and, since its the last show of tour, a promise to do it again soon.  

as the crowd gives one last round of applause, the triplets make their way offstage, visibly energized from the interaction. matt approaches you first, his smile as bright as ever.  

“how’d we do?” he asks, his tone light but curious.  

“amazing,” you reply honestly. “you guys were great out there.”  

“you think so?” matt says, his grin widening. “guess we’ll have to keep you around for feedback.”  

nick and chris join, teasing matt before turning their attention to the rest of the group.  

“ready to head out? im exhausted” nick asks, glancing at everyone.  

“me too” matt gently yawns, running a hand through his hair

“aw, y’gonna go cuddle with y/n again?” chris teases, giggling

your jaw slightly drops, you, matt, nate, and madi all stopping in your tracks. 

“oh, yeah. we woke them up this morning and they were fully cuddling.” nick laughs, opening his phone to show his friends the picture

madi smiles, nudging your arm as nate stares at matt.

“guys, come on. seriously? we just accidentally fell asleep in the same bed last night!” matt chirps, defensively. as if he was.. embarrassed? no. definitely not. something else. 

“yeah, yeah. sure” nate waves him off, laughing “can we go get food?” 

within the next 30 minutes, you, the triplets, madi, and nate are sitting at a booth inside their local mcdonalds. matt was sitting against the wall, you next to him, with nick on the other side of you. facing opposite of you, nate was against the wall, with chris next to him, and madi on the other side of chris. you’re all munching down on some burgers, nuggets, and fries, when you feel made put his arm around your shoulders- again. 

“just a little tight, sorry” he mutters

you shake your head, signaling that its okay. in fact, you liked it. 

the group continues chatting and joking around, the energy light and easy. madi is laughing at one of chris’s stories, while nick tries to balance a fry upright in his soda cup.  

“you know,” nate starts, leaning back in his seat, “this is probably the most chaotic mcdonald’s crew i’ve ever been a part of.”  

“oh, come on. you love it,” nick teases, flicking a fry across the table toward nate.  

matt leans closer to you, his arm still resting comfortably on your shoulders. “m’sorry theyre so crazy, theyre always like this,” he says quietly, his voice laced with amusement.  

“you say that like you’re not part of it,” you reply, looking up at him, a smile tugging at your lips.  

“i’m the calm one,” matt insists, feigning innocence.  

nick overhears and snorts. “calm? you? please. you’re just quieter about your chaos.”  

matt rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face betrays him. “whatever. i’m still the chill one.”  

as the night wears on, the group slowly finishes their food, the table littered with empty wrappers and cups. madi stands up first, stretching.  

“alright, are we ready to go home?” she asks.  

“yep, before chris starts juggling ketchup packets,” nate quips, dodging a playful shove from chris.  

outside, the air is cooler, the quiet hum of the streetlights contrasting with the earlier buzz inside the restaurant. matt walks close beside you, his hand brushing yours for a moment before he slides it into his pocket.  

“thanks for coming along the past few days,” he says, his voice soft. “it’s been fun having you here.”  

“of course,” you reply, feeling a warm blush creep up your cheeks. “i’ve been having a lot of fun too.”  

the group piles into their cars, the night winding down but the feeling of connection lingering. as you sit back, listening to nick and nate debate about the best way to eat fries, you catch matt glancing your way again before pulling out of the lot, his expression unreadable but warm. 

again, he made chris sit in the backseat, with you in the passenger. nate and madi were all the way in the back, nick in his respective, middle row, left seat. 

as the car hums along the quiet streets, the conversations begin to mellow. madi and nate are deep in discussion about some niche movie trivia, their voices low but animated. nick occasionally chimes in from his seat, offering quips that earn small bursts of laughter.  

you glance out the window, the city lights flickering by, casting fleeting shadows across matt’s face as he drives. his hand rests casually on the gear shift, his fingers tapping lightly to the beat of the faint music playing through the speakers.  

“you tired?” matt asks softly, his voice cutting through the quiet.  

“a little,” you admit, turning to him. “but it’s been a good day.”  

he smiles, his eyes briefly flicking toward you before returning to the road. “yeah, it has.”  

from the back, chris leans forward, resting his arms on the middle row seatbacks. “hey, can we stop for ice cream or something? i need something sweet.”  

“it’s almost midnight, chris,” matt replies, though there’s no real annoyance in his tone.  

“so? midnight ice cream hits different,” chris argues, grinning.  

“fine,” matt sighs, but you catch the faint smile on his lips. “if we find a place that’s open.”  

nick perks up. “i think there’s a place up ahead.”  

sure enough, a small ice cream shop glows in the distance, its neon sign a beacon in the quiet night. matt pulls into the lot, and the group piles out, stretching and joking as they make their way to the counter.  

matt stands beside you as the other four order, his hand brushing yours briefly as he pulls out his wallet. “you want anything specific?” he asks.  

“you don’t have to—”  

“i know,” he interrupts, smiling. “but i want to.”  

you werent going to get anything, the mcdonalds was filling enough. but, you give in, letting him treat you to a small vanilla cone, and the two of you wander back to the car with the rest of the group. 

as you settle back into the car, the night air cool against your skin, you can’t help but feel a deep sense of belonging. even though you’ve only known them for a short time, it feels like you’ve always been a part of this little group. and as matt’s voice joins in the banter, his arm brushing yours once more, you realize you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

you eventually make your way back to the triplets house, the six of you piling out of the car. matt unlocks the door, signaling for you all to be quiet, as his parents are already asleep. 

you all make your way upstairs, chris, nick, and nate going to hang out in chris’ bedroom, since nate is spending the night. 

as the six of you tiptoe upstairs, madi pauses at the top of the landing, her phone buzzing in her hand. “my mom’s here,” she whispers. “she’s waiting outside.”  

“i’ll walk you down,” nick offers, turning back toward the stairs with her.  

“night, guys,” madi says softly, giving a small wave.  

“night, madi!” chris and nate chorus, their voices a little too loud. matt shoots chris a look, finger pressed to his lips, and he immediately quiets down, laughing under his breath.  

you wave at madi, smiling as she disappears down the stairs with nick. a few moments later, the front door clicks shut, and the sound of a car pulling away drifts faintly through the house. 

“she’s nice,” you remark, turning to face him. “her mom seems nice too, from the few times i’ve seen her.”  

he nods, gesturing toward the hall. “come on, it’s late”  

“are you sure? i feel bad kicking you out of your own bed,” you say, following him.  

“you’re not kicking me out,” he replies with a small smile. “i already told you, i don’t mind the couch. besides, i wouldn’t let you sleep in the guest room when you can have a real mattress.”  

you shake your head but smile at his thoughtfulness. as you step into his room, you take in the cozy, personal space. the walls are lined with photos, posters, and a few scattered knickknacks that make the room feel lived-in.  a flash of the photo of the two of you ‘cuddling’ from the morning earlier flashes through your mind. though, youre snapped out of your thoughts by matts voice speaking up

“you need anything?” matt asks, leaning against the doorframe.  

“no, i’m good. thanks,” you reply.  

“alright. i’ll let you get changed,” he says, his voice soft as he backs toward the door. “i’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”  

“goodnight,” you say, offering him a small smile.  

“night,” he replies, closing the door gently behind him.  

you quickly change into your pajamas, folding your day clothes into your bag before heading to the bathroom to wash up. when you return to the room, the faint sound of laughter drifts up from downstairs—probably nick and chris teasing each other about something random.  

as you settle into matt’s bed, the familiar scent of his cologne lingering in the sheets, you hear a soft knock at the door.  

“everything okay?” matt’s voice comes quietly from the other side.  

“yeah, i’m all set,” you answer.  

he pushes the door open just enough to lean in, his expression relaxed. “just wanted to make sure. today was fun, wasn’t it?”  

“it really was,” you agree, sitting up slightly. “your fans are so sweet, and it’s been great getting to know everyone better.”  

his lips tug into a small smile, his gaze steady. “i’m glad you’re here. we all are.”  

the sincerity in his voice makes your chest feel warm. “thanks, matt. that means a lot.”  

he nods, glancing down the hall. “get some rest, okay? today was a long day.”  

“goodnight, matt,” you say softly.  

“night,” he replies, stepping back and closing the door behind him.  

as you lie back under the covers, the quiet of the house wrapping around you, you can’t help but feel a sense of belonging. little by little, you’re finding your place here, and it feels good—natural, even. despite the unfamiliar setting, a wave of comfort washes over you. it feels different—good, and safe. as your eyes drift shut, you can’t help but think that sharing a moment like this with matt feels right. 

your thoughts drift to matt’s words from earlier, his quiet kindness and steady presence. the warmth of his smile lingers in your mind, and without meaning to, you find yourself smiling too.  

just as sleep begins to tug at you, a soft tap on the door pulls you back.  

“it’s me,” matt’s voice calls softly.  

“come in,” you say, sitting up slightly.  

he peeks in, holding a spare blanket. “i thought you might want an extra, just in case it gets cold.”  

you smile, touched by the gesture. “thanks, matt.”  

he steps inside, draping the blanket over the edge of the bed. for a moment, he lingers, his gaze meeting yours.  

“sleep well, y/n,” he says, his voice low and genuine.  

“you too,” you reply, watching as he quietly slips back out, closing the door behind him.  

as the house falls silent once more, you settle deeper into the blankets, a warmth blooming in your chest. today had been full of surprises—unexpected moments of connection, laughter, and belonging. and as your eyes finally close, you know one thing for certain: you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. 

a/n: im sorry this took so long to finally get out :( for the next part theres probably gonna be a bit of a time skip of a few weeks or months since i cant really thing of anything significant to happen before what i already have planned LMAO

likes and reblogs are always greatly appreciated! ੈ✩‧₊˚

to be added to my taglist, comment on this post!

- aurora ᯓ✮⋆˙

⋆˙⟡ tags: @lvrsturniolo @marrykisskilled @mattscoquette @emely9274 @wh0remikasas @mattsstarlet @pvssychicken @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan @jvngle18 @forgottxen @mattslolita @lolastrniolo @55sturn

thank you to my angel @sturn777 for helping me write part of this, so so grateful <33

[its-crowning]

Something tells me you would like urethral births(a draft if you don't mind!): Boys can't get pregnant. Or so you thought. You didn't have the anatomy to be and you were just developing a gut....then why did you feel the compulsion to hide? Why did you feel this dread deep in your stomach that spiked whenever your stomach "twitched"? Or the concerning thought that kept flashing in the back of your mind of that horror scene with the alien bursting out of that woman's stomach? It was ridiculous. You pushed all that deep down. Nothing could or would happen. That's what you told yourself until you woke up abruptly one night, dick swollen and aching. You struggled to get up and waddle to the bathroom and flicked the light on. Jesus Christ. You pulled down your underwear and you just stared at how bright red your dick was, four times its normal size. What the fuck! You had to rush to the hospital. You had to. But you couldn't budge. Instead you found yourself squatting down. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck! is all that your mind could process as the ache deep inside you, pushing you apart spread further and your shaft kept increasing in size. You were starting to freak that it would rip open. Why couldn't you fucking move? Shock must have set in because you were far too removed to notice that you were bearing down. But you looked up at yourself in the mirror once again and then it clicked. You were giving birth. Giving birth to something, maybe a baby. But that didn't matter now, all you knew is you had to get it the fuck out. Seeing as you couldn't do anything else, you widened your stance and bore down harder, ignoring the shrieking nerves between your legs. You were not made with the anatomy for this. This had to be worse than what most people had to go through, because they didn't have to push through their clits. But somehow you were the medical marvel, the first person ever to give a urethral birth. Gritting your teeth, you reached to tenderly pick your penis. It could only go up so far without meeting a solid resistance at its base. You massaged it and whispered apologies, it would be fucking wrecked after this. You dropped your dick and suddenly gasped, grappling for something hang on to as a...was that a contraction? Whatever the fuck it was zapped the strength out from your legs. Sobbing, all you could do was cling to the towel holder and push with the littlest strength left. It felt like hours later when something split your glans open, tufts of something sprouting out. Shakily you reached back down toward your penis and carefully inspected your slit with your fingers...that felt like hair. No, you weren't ready. This wasn't happening- and then a scream ripped itself from your throat as your slit was ripped wider to allow the thing out. Panting, you thought that maybe this was meant to be. There was nothing more pathetic than you right now, weeping and pushing with blood and some unknown fluid everywhere on a cold bathroom floor. That this is what you deserved. You did this to yourself, you hid it for so long and now there was no one here to help you.

holy shit anon…

i’m actually usually not into urethral birth but you might have just shown me the light. usually it’s a bit too cock-explosion-y for me to get horny about it, but i liked the way this guy’s labor means his cock gets large and warped. the part where he’s rubbing it and apologizing to it…he can already feel the baby’s head at the base, heavy and unyielding…i can only imagine how hard pushing something through a penis would be, especially a baby.

this is good. i love how ashamed and scared he is. if you revisit this draft, please give us more details about his belly—I’m so curious 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[myllovellybones]

"Daughter." "Sister."

Oh hell no I'm walking out

Finished? Why is she being examined by the maester?

🙂.

Otto and Alicent watch you move past them. The latter is resigned to your commitment of not speaking to her, the former seethes and laughs dryly. He offers his arm to the queen, "come, daughter. Let us pray that your sister's impertinence is merely as side effect of childbearing."

SHUT UPPP DON'T TALK TO ME

Your maester hears it though and offers, "your sister is blessed with a fertile womb."

Genuinely how could this be comforting. She just got pregnant by a man who's on the edge of DYING

We eats with the Velaryons, Corlys, Vaemond, and Laenor, and though he did not hold any particular fondness for them, there was something in the way they all spoke in nothing but High Valyrian that made mornings not completely unbearable.

Honestly thats so cool High Valryian is such a pretty language I'd be using it all the time too

"And have we won the war overnight?" the prince says, rather uninterested, both in small talk and in his duck.

First of all, appreciate the damn duck. AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE IF YOU'D READ THE LETTERS YOUR WIFE SENT YOU WOULD KNOW

"Remarried?!" Daemon repeats in offence, "and which scheming cunt managed to tricked him into marriage?"

Omg I totally forgot he was already there when Viserys and Alicent got married. His crash out is about to be insane

Corlys turns to Vaemond, who turns to Leanor, who turns back to Corlys. The latter clears his throat, "your bride's sister, my prince."

LMAOO IM DONE

He enters his tent and immediately chucks the letter to the floor, as if it was a vase he intended to shatter into a million pieces. It doesn't, of course; the paper remains intact, along with its seal. He crushes it beneath his heel then grabs the sack containing all your unread letters. He empties it on the floor and violently begins to stomp all over them.

OMG?? YOU ASSHOLE???

A good place to raise children?! He scoffs and crumples the paper away. You fantasize of bearing his seed now? He laughs at the idea, chucking the paper across his tent. His amusement goes dry when he realizes it must be your father's ploy.

You absolute idiot

"While I confess a certain light has been lost in the halls of our Oldtown home since your leave, I..." your ward knits his brows, "disagree with your sentiments to return."

Excuse me?

"Never mind my inadequacies, Arryk," you sigh in between deep breaths, "never mind that I will forever be second best to my father, who even wed me to his greatest enemy... who I am to make grandsire to not one but two Targaryen babes."

I just realized how many grandkids he's about to have especially when Heleana, Aemond, AND Dareon is born

"No," you wince, feeling a sharp pain in your belly, "hold me please."

Fuck I am so scared cause all this stress is not good for her or the babes

You lean into his touch, "I can be strong, Arryk," you both his hands and squeeze them to prove a point, "can you not feel it?"

STOPPP 😭😭

"Your brother," he gives you a solemn expression, "he says he prays the Lord Hand extends his gentleness to you, but I wonder if all that remained of his gentleness manifested into his daughters' beings."

Wow okay actually this made me tear up

"I am unsure where my wife is presently-"

I can't I really can't

"I could tell as he held my child, he thought her the most precious thing in the worlds," Viserys face softens, "I could tell he wanted to have something precious to hold as his own," he absentmindedly examines a chisel, "the gods bless me with a wife who is going to birth me something precious," he turns to you, "and a good-sister who is going to birth my brother something doubly precious."

It's insane how he says this but then ignores all his children after. I think he had or has good intentions but still man

Just before you can reach the entrance, a great pain forces you to lurch forward and yelp. You grip onto Viserys's arm for dear life and he grips you with hands. He thinks to grab the chair he pulled for you again, but as he looks back , his eyes widen at the trail of blood that leads to it. "GUARD! GUARD!"

WHAT?! NO STOP DONT TELL ME WHAT I THINK IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN HAPPENS

Viserys watches, the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms watches as you rip your skirt up and tear your ruined undergarments down, powerless.

😭

Your hands tremble as you reach for the two small bodies between your thighs. You bring them into your chest, uncaring of all else, how wet they are, how red stains you, how Viserys speaks your name. Your babes are are small; they are both far, far too small.

NOOOO STOP MY POOR BABIES

Anguish draws more noises from your throat. It doesn't take long until your voice is hoarse. You cannot keep your peace as you take in their tiny faces. You wipe them with your skirt, finding the silver of their brows and lashes. You also find the gods gave you a girl and a boy. You choke on a sob as you wipe the red away from their thin, white locks, "please wake for your mummy."

The anguish this genuinely made me feel

You quiet momentarily as the man crouches beside you. Your lips wobble, "p-perhaps they'll wake up if you speak High Valyrian."

.... her trying to do everything to wake them up is soul crushing

"They're perfect, are they not?"

You ask him to repeat this song over and over and he humors you each time.

He's so sweat to her omg

"I take you for a fool!" Arryk quips under his breath as he points an accusing finger.

Lmao I'm but the way their fight really is so sibling coded

These are the very words you sing to your sister's son.

TIMESKIP TIMESKIP OMG HERE WE GO

"Flower for mummy!" he bounces in your arms.

I'd literally go to war for baby aegon.

Your mouth goes dry when you see Daemon staring back at you.

AHH HES BACK HOLY SHIT HOW MUCH DOES HE KNOW?? IS HE MAD?? SAD?? AHJAKSSLSKL

I say this in the most lovingly way, this chapter killed me. You sure know how to write angst cause OH MY GOD?? I could barely see by the time I finished it cause there were so many tears running down my face and neck. I'm so scared and excited to see how Daemon will react. And I do now have mixed feelings about Viserys cause there's sm things he did wrong but he does have good intentions, and the way he tried helping her too was heart breaking 😭

Tormented Spirit | 12

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, pregnancy, miscarriage, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: i would just like to bring everyone's attention to the fact this fic is called tormented spirit. BTW some of yall might wanna read my weasely twins fluff cuz 😀 yeah you should read some fluff! leave comments/reblogs ok!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS | cross posted on ao3

@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones

Since your sister's wedding, there were two things you no longer did: speak to your sister and go to your father. Everyday, instead of having the Lord Hand accompany you to your maester, you were accompanied by one of your wards.

At first, you were apprehensive with the change. After all, they were your knights, but neither of them were the father to your babe, and even fathers were rarely involved with prenatal care. Though, the patience they extended is not unusual, you were surprised that Erryk and Arryk took time asking the maester additional information concerning things that might need their attention in the future.

Today, you walk to the maester's ward, one hand on your belly the other on Erryk's bicep. As he opens the door, you freeze when you hear the voices in the room.

"Daughter." "Sister."

These words are spoken at the same time. You clench your teeth and turn to Erryk, whose jaw is set. You take a breath and decide to simply come back later.

Alicent stands the cot she sat upon and raises a hand, "please! I'm finished. You can come now."

Finished? Why is she being examined by the maester?

Otto is angered by your persistence to ignore them. He scowls and glares at Erryk, "you remind your princess to practice some humility," he points a finger, "her actions are affecting the queen, who is now carrying an heir."

Your face drops as you turn to her.

She is already staring at you. You watch her pick her nails. You catch the redness of her cuticles.

Erryk is equally shocked. He stutters before nodding in regard, "congratulations, my queen."

Alicent shakes her head, forcing a smile, "t-thank you, ser."

Your father's eyes remain on you. He waits for you to offer the same sentiment, but his anger only intensifies at your continued silence. He scoffs, "will you not even congratulate your sister?"

You clutch your pronounced belly and turn to your maester, "may we please do the examination? I cannot bear to stand for long."

Otto and Alicent watch you move past them. The latter is resigned to your commitment of not speaking to her, the former seethes and laughs dryly. He offers his arm to the queen, "come, daughter. Let us pray that your sister's impertinence is merely as side effect of childbearing."

Your sister spares you a glassy glance before taking Otto's arm and leaving with him. You watch as they leave, feeling yourself grow hard of breathing.

The maester asks you to sit, but before you do, you snatch his arm, "is she truly with child?"

He looks at your teary face. He feels the tremble of your hand as he places his own atop of it. He carefully speaks "it is joyous news, is it not?"

You release a shaky breath as he helps you sit.

"Princess," the maester warily says, "breathe for me. We cannot proceed if you overcome by your affliction."

You place both your hands on your belly and take a couple deep breaths. You close your eyes and resist the sob that threatens to come. A couple of tears wet your cheeks, but you manage to remain intact. You wipe your face and mutter to yourself, "it's barely been a moon since they've wed."

Your maester hears it though and offers, "your sister is blessed with a fertile womb."

You wish he had not tried to comfort you with such an idea.

You try not to think of Alicent as you do your daily examination, but she is all you think of. You think of how frightened she must be. You think of how your father surely told her about your daily visits to the maester. You wonder if he would force her to do the same, just to get you to talk to her. She wouldn't need daily examinations like you; she is perfectly healthy, stronger than you, as she said herself.

You are so deep in thought, you don't even realize the maester was finished with you, up until he says something that demands your full attention.

"What?" you knit your brows at him.

"We will be more certain of it as the moons wax and wane, but considering you are a twin yourself, and, again, because of the rather rapid growth of your belly, chances are my deduction is correct."

He helps you up and Erryk is quick to take your arm. You mutter through a shaky breath, "I'm carrying twins?"

Your maester nods, "highly likely."

You turn to Erryk, who offers you a reassuring smile, "I... congratulate you, my princess."

You stare at him for a moment and blink rapidly.

"You might give birth to a boy and girl who will have the same devotion you and your brother have," Erryk says in an attempt to take away some of the fear written across your face.

It does actually. You recall your visit to Oldtown and find yourself nodding, "I... I must write a letter at once."

Many moons come and go, but across the sea, the sun shines. Daemon's day has just started. His mood is nothing but sour, as it always is. He is loathe to start his day, but he does, and with a grunt, and leaves his tent to break his fast.

We eats with the Velaryons, Corlys, Vaemond, and Laenor, and though he did not hold any particular fondness for them, there was something in the way they all spoke in nothing but High Valyrian that made mornings not completely unbearable.

"My prince," Corlys greets him in their mother tongue. He hands Daemon a plate, "duck."

Daemon raises his brow at it, "with salt?"

"And pepper," Leanor says with a half-amused expression.

"My," Daemon sits down with them, "I am spoiled."

Corlys waits for Daemon to have a few bites before continuing conversation. He clears his throat, "before the day passes, allow me, my brother, and my son-" he looks between the said people, earning furrowed brows from Laenor, "-to greet you, both on behalf of House Velaryon, and as your comrade in battle for you—"

"Oh, yes!" Leanor interjects once he remembers, "congratulations, my prince!"

This earns him a look from his father, and his uncle. Laenor, who had been grinning, slowly raises his brows, "a-... apologies for interrupting, father."

Corlys sighs, "as I was-"

"And have we won the war overnight?" the prince says, rather uninterested, both in small talk and in his duck.

Corlys is confused by this, "I... no." He slowly tilts his head, "does your lady wife not write to you?"

Daemon is immediately on edge at the mention of you, "and what of her?"

Corlys narrows his eyes. He puts him to the test, "... you are aware your brother, the king, has remarried?"

Daemon whips his head his direction.

"And that also he expects an heir to be delivered come spring?"

"Remarried?!" Daemon repeats in offence, "and which scheming cunt managed to tricked him into marriage?"

Corlys turns to Vaemond, who turns to Leanor, who turns back to Corlys. The latter clears his throat, "your bride's sister, my prince."

His eyes widen. He looks between the Velaryons, then scoffs dryly. He begins to laugh, "that roach of a Hand has Viserys's bollocks shoved down his fucking throat."

Their faces contort at the foul language. Vaemond, in particular, is so offended that he cannot help but ask, "doesn't the princess write to you every day?"

Daemon clenches his plate

"And she never mentioned thi—"

"WHAT USE HAVE I TO READ THE WEEPY WRITING OF MY WIFE?!" the prince snaps, coming to a stand as he chucks his plate to the ground.

Corlys understands then Daemon's initial shock. However, he is still confused, "have you not read any letters from your wife?"

"Would you rather I be distracted, Corlys?" he snaps again, hands now clenched into fists.

Corlys is not intimidated by Daemon's anger, but he is also unincited by the idea a fight. He raises his hands in surrender, "most men gladly welcome distractions in the heat of war."

Daemon chuckles dryly, "I am not most men," then storms all the way back to his tent.

"Jiōragon hen ñuha ñuhoso!" he snaps in High Valyrian still, shoving the unwitting soldier aside. Get out of my way!

He returns to his tent. Another unwitting victim is there. "My prince," he bows, "a letter from Lady H-" Daemon snags the letter from him and shoves him away with exceeding anger and force.

He enters his tent and immediately chucks the letter to the floor, as if it was a vase he intended to shatter into a million pieces. It doesn't, of course; the paper remains intact, along with its seal. He crushes it beneath his heel then grabs the sack containing all your unread letters. He empties it on the floor and violently begins to stomp all over them.

You were his. You were meant to be his! Yet here you were, a pawn in someone else's game. His lust and infatuation has blinded him from this truth. You and your sister were mere tools of your cunt father to manipulate the throne.

He continues to trample your letters until they are brown with the dirt. He catches a lone letter that managed to evade his violence. He picks the unscathed object and only now does he realize its red waxen seal had an imprint of a dragon with a long neck that resembled Caraxes. Daemon scoffs, even his dragon you covet.

He breaks the seal. The letter was sent nearly a moon ago.

𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. ℑ𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔩 𝔱𝔬 𝔒𝔩��𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔰𝔬 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔴. ℑ 𝔫𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔰𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤'𝔰 𝔏𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤. ℑ𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢; ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔞𝔰 𝔞 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔡. ℑ 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔳𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔫. ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢, 𝔲𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔒𝔩𝔡𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔫, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔬𝔬𝔫. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔢

A good place to raise children?! He scoffs and crumples the paper away. You fantasize of bearing his seed now? He laughs at the idea, chucking the paper across his tent. His amusement goes dry when he realizes it must be your father's ploy.

He's read enough.

Back in the Keep, you too receive a letter. It is from Gwayne, whose weekly response has finally arrived. You do not mind that he does not write to you daily as you did; you are grateful to receive a response at all.

You were set on reading his response, but as is was, you were experiencing terrible nausea and found yourself unable to sit or lie still. For some reason, the only thing that could combat this was walking around. You instead had your ward read your brother's words aloud for you.

Arryk's eyes trail back and forth you and your letter. He comes to your side when you gag, "princess."

You place a hand on your mouth, walking away from him. He watches as you circle your bed, "perhaps, I-"

"Please," you sigh, "do not make me beg you to read it."

Arryk stiffens and shakes his head, "my apologies, your grace." He turns to the parchment, "my twin."

" Louder," you grunt as you momentarily lean on your bed.

"My twin," Arryk repeats slightly louder, "I pray that your health is good, that you have been eating and sleeping as goodly as you did in the days of your visit here."

You take a deep breath and walk towards nothing in particular.

"While I confess a certain light has been lost in the halls of our Oldtown home since your leave, I..." your ward knits his brows, "disagree with your sentiments to return."

"What?" you gasp softly, turning to Arryk.

He looks at you and hesitates, "I... will not honey my words: you disappoint me with your coldness towards our youngest."

You clench your teeth as you feel another gag coming up, "fucking, Gwayne."

"She has written to me more than once to lament your severed relations since she's wed."

Your scoff makes Arryk pause. You look at him as you walk over, "do not stop."

He looks at you as you walk past him. He clears his throat, "I did not speak of it until now, for I believed you to be wiser than your betrayal."

"Ha!" you scoff, eyes immediately watering, "incorrigible pest," you grunt and rub your belly. You pace faster, "unyielding. Unfeeling."

Arryk watches you pace and takes a few steps back and forth so to remain arms reach of you.

"Continue!"

He stiffens, "I—," he turns back to your brother's words, "you've written you believe it will be better for you both that you away, lest your childbearing interlope with hers. I disagree. Consider me a fool-"

"He is," you scratch your eyes.

"-a man who knows nothing of childbirth, which I am, but I know my sisters— I know you at the very least." Arryk watches you as he says the next words, "leaving Alicent will haunt you, your satisfaction short-lived."

You stop in your tracks. You feel your dress tighten around you.

"Lay down your pride and allow yourself to reach for your sister who understands your struggle unlike anyone in the Seven Realms now more than ever."

You feel sick, sicker.

"Upon doing so, see then if you still wish to come to home."

You heave as you continue walking around.

"I offer many prayers to the Mother for both you and our sister. We are truly grown from the same womb, for I too share in your hope that you give birth to a twin boy and girl."

You rub your belly, as the thought softens you a fraction.

"Mostly, I speak thanks and praise for I am to be doubly an uncle. I pray your births come timely and smoothly, and I pray the Lord Hand has extended nothing but gentleness to you both," he folds the paper, "Your Twin."

"See now," you turn to Arryk, "even my twin betrays me, abandons me," you feel tears run down your cheek.

He slowly walks towards you, "that is not what he's done, my princess."

"Then what?!" you shake your hands, "am I not allowed even my anger now?!"

He is taken off guard when you shove him back.

"Even you are against me!"

Arryk steps back, though you barely mustered enough force for him to need to. You quickly pace around again. He feels the flesh beneath his steel you touched begin to push. His lips part "do not accuse me so harshly."

You whip your head back, glaring at him with red eyes, "SHE COULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A LORD IN THE RIVERLANDS! OR HIGHGARDEN!" You throw your hand out, "ANYWHERE BUT HERE, BUT HERE SHE IS!"

His face falls when your rage makes you crumble. He gasp your name out as he catches you just before you fall.

"And for what?!" you wheeze as you are dragged to your bed. You rip at your collar as your chest tightens and tightens and tightens, "for me?"

"Princess," the knight's voice breaks with worry as he sits you down, "I beg you, ple-"

"Undress me," you mutter as you strugggle for air, "unlace my dress, I-"

He does not wait. He is quick to undo your bodice. He is so frantic, he nearly cuts your ties.

You moan as you feel a pressure leave you. You rip your dress off you, thinking of nothing else but catching your breath. Arryk helps you undress and you find it slightly easier to breath once you are left in nothing but your chemise.

Your ward struggles with himself; he does not wish to take advantage of this moment to ogle you, but he also cannot avert his gaze completely, lest you need his assistance. He clenches his jaw and lowers his gaze to his lap, muttering your name softly.

"Never mind my inadequacies, Arryk," you sigh in between deep breaths, "never mind that I will forever be second best to my father, who even wed me to his greatest enemy... who I am to make grandsire to not one but two Targaryen babes."

"Princess," he shakes his head, "I do not wish to-"

"I am used to his insistence of my dimness," you rub your chest, "of my capacity only for tears and succumbing to my own pain," your lips wobble, "but my sister—"

He stiffens and turns to you as lean into him. Your breath is too short and your head too heavy for you to keep yourself upright. Arryk calls our your name as he shifts, bringing his arm around to pull you upright.

"No," you wince, feeling a sharp pain in your belly, "hold me please."

He is immediately alarmed by how you clutch your side, "princess, are you-"

"Please," you rest your head on his armor, "hold me, even if you do not want to."

His hand twitches before, placing it your bare arm. He leans close, close enough to press his lips on your head, but he does not dare. He rubs your skin and whispers, "I want for nothing else."

You are too distracted by yourself that you do not hear him. Uncomfortable as the feel of his armor was, he lulls you into calmness.

When you feel well enough to realize how compromising it would be if someone were to witness you both, you pull away.

He says nothing, does nothing. He simply sit besides you, taking in your sad face.

You a tear drip from the tip of your nose. You rub it away before mumbling, "I had well-made plans for her... plans to shield her, to prosper her."

His eyes fall. He looks at the hand you had on your lap and dares to take it. It is cold and clammy, which is why he rubs it, eager to spread warmth.

The gesture makes goosebumps form on your arms. It makes your breath hitch, but not in a painful way. His gentleness encourages you to continue, "I once thought she looked up to me," you sniffle, "but when she said she was stronger than I," you lower your head.

He frowns.

"I knew then," you look back at him, "she sees only my weakness, along with the rest of the world."

He cannot help himself. He reaches for your cheek and wipes your tears.

You lean into his touch, "I can be strong, Arryk," you both his hands and squeeze them to prove a point, "can you not feel it?"

The gesture makes his heart break. He squeezes your hands in return, "you need not prove such a thing to me," he rubs your skin with his thumbs, "perhaps she does not want you to be strong... not for her."

You huff, "I am her older si-"

"But for your babe."

You are frozen by his words. You open your mouth but find nothing to say.

"Your brother," he gives you a solemn expression, "he says he prays the Lord Hand extends his gentleness to you, but I wonder if all that remained of his gentleness manifested into his daughters' beings."

The thought brings a tear from your eye, "Arryk."

"My princess."

"Should I speak to my sister come the morrow?"

He squeezes your hand again before slowly nodding.

The next day, you do everything in your power to do just that. You found Alicent breaking her fast, but you did not want to inadvertently ruin her appetite with your sudden appearance, for you knew how fickle it was in these times. Later, you found her in her chambers napping, but you didn't wish to interrupt her then either.

The rest of the day, you started feeling unwell, and you could not find it in you to leave your own chambers. When you finally did, the sun had set and Alicent was nowhere to be found. As a last resort, you ventured to the king's chambers.

Erryk announces you once you reach Viserys's door. You look at your knight with apprehension but he only returns a reassuring nod. There is a rather... sickly smell that assaults your senses when the door opens. The king himself answers, brows quirked in surprise.

"My king," you barely manage a curtsy. Erryk nods, "your grace."

Viserys regards you both then asks, "what brings you to my chambers at this hour?"

"I wanted to know if my sister was here," you absentmindedly rub your belly, "I wish to speak to her."

The king catches your belly, "oh, yes." He places a hand on your shoulder, "you are also with child," he chuckles, "I keep forgetting to congratulate you face to face."

You are taken aback by the half-hug he pulls you into.

Viserys chuckles as he pulls away, "well done, my dear. You have made the realm, and more importantly my brother, all the more richer for this."

You are rigid as he beckons you inside. Viserys motions to Erryk dismissively, and he nods. You wards gives you a silent look, and you know he'll wait for you outside.

Once you enter, you are assaulted by a scent that has clearly been attempted to be masked by fragrances. It makes you gag slightly, but it is not so bad that you cannot comport yourself.

You had expected to be lead to your sister, but instead, the king leads you to a massive diorama of what you could tell to be King's Landing.

"I am unsure where my wife is presently-"

His regard to your sister makes you clench your jaw.

"-but she visits me oft at this time of hour. Might as well show you my miniature figurines whilst waiting," he grins as he motions to the said object.

You feel an uncomfortable twinge in your stomach as you walk over to him.

Viserys immediately beams over his creation, recounting the trouble he had carving out the tower, exclaiming how much he enjoyed shaping the bridge. You have never seen him in such a light and it makes you wonder if this was his true self. Did he regard your husband this way? What were they like as children?

As he handed you two separate failed attempts of carving his fallen dragon, Balerion, you listen to him muse how the beast's skull was preserved in the basement bellow, and how he would gladly bring you there if you wanted to see. You groan and slightly lurch when another painful sensation ripples within you.

Viserys notices this. He quickly takes the figurines from you, "oh, where are my manners," he pulls a chair to your side, "sit, sit."

You gratefully take a seat and take a couple deep breathes as the king continues to drone about his diorama.

"You know, I used to make toy soldiers for Daemon growing up. I was aghast when he came back to me with severed heads."

You chuckle at his words, but instantly regret it when it adds to your pain.

"I still made him new ones, but this time, I put less effort and detail," Viserys speaks before noticing your reaction, "are you alright?"

"Mmm," you shake your head, "I think my babes are moving."

His brows quirk, "ah. That's right. You are expecting twins, are you not?"

You release a sigh when the uncomfortable sensations finally wane. You take a breath and offering a smile, "so says my maester. I hope it to be a boy and girl, like me and Gwayne."

He smiles, "it is quite fortunate that you and your sister are to have children at the same time," he looks over his miniature castle, "don't you think?"

"I think..." you turn to your belly, another groan leaving your lips, "Alicent is not ready to have children."

Viserys turns to you.

You look up at him and purse your lips, "nor am I."

He chuckles softly, "none of us are," he places a hand on your shoulder, "but I assure you, you learn as you go."

You find no comfort in his words.

"You know who has been ready though," he raises a finger, "Daemon."

The thought nearly makes you flinch.

He chuckles, "do not look so averted. There is gentleness in him," he turns back to his diorama, "do you not perceive it?"

You begin to feel sick.

"I tell you, when Rhaenyra was born, his face shone."

Your brows tighten at the smile the king offers you.

"I could tell as he held my child, he thought her the most precious thing in the worlds," Viserys face softens, "I could tell he wanted to have something precious to hold as his own," he absentmindedly examines a chisel, "the gods bless me with a wife who is going to birth me something precious," he turns to you, "and a good-sister who is going to birth my brother something doubly precious."

His words make your heart tinge. You are blindsided by how genuine, how vulnerable your conversation is. You wonder if Alicent saw this amidst the cruelty of the world and decided to settle for it rather than the uncertainty from another man. As he falls deeper into another fond tale of his brother, you feel a dull pain spread across your hips.

"That reminds me," he claps his hands, "do you have any names picked out yet?"

You shift uncomfortably in your chair, "well... I've-" you huff, "gone through some books that held Valyrian names," you inhale, "and found a few names for boys, namely Vaerus,—"

"Ah, Vaerus," Viserys repeats, "meaning genuine."

"Eadan—"

He grins and points, "little fire."

"—and Alaeric," you huff.

"Hmm," he turns to the ceiling in thought, "no, I don't know that one."

You are restless because of your pain. You groan as you stand, "I- mmm- prefer the last one the most because it is similar to my mother's name, and I should like to name my boy and girl after her."

He chuckles, "you seem quite set on a boy and a girl."

"Mmm," you hum uncomfortably, "I- I hope for it." You rub your belly, "I hope they have fondness for each other like me and mine own twin."

He knits his brows at your demeanor, "a son and a daughter would suit you well," he smiles fondly, "what was the name of your late mother again?"

"A-" you groan, "Alyrie."

Viserys finally reaches for you, "are you quite certain you're alright?"

You hum as you take the king's bicep, squeezing him tightly, "mmm, I should like to lie down now."

"Yes, of course," he shakes his head, leading you to the door.

Just before you can reach the entrance, a great pain forces you to lurch forward and yelp. You grip onto Viserys's arm for dear life and he grips you with hands. He thinks to grab the chair he pulled for you again, but as he looks back , his eyes widen at the trail of blood that leads to it. "GUARD! GUARD!"

You are in too much pain to react to the king's screams. You can only screw your eyes shut.

Erryk bursts through the doors, face white, heart racing.

"CALL THE MAESTER AT ONCE! SHE'S BLEEDING!"

Your eyes widen at the word, "bleeding?" You momentarily manage to gather enough wits to see what Viserys was speaking of.

Erryk does not linger in his horror. He bolts out and sprints down the halls, screaming for a maester as if his life depended on it because yours did.

The sight of your blood is mortifying. You lift your skirt as pain continues to seizes and a horrified noise leaves you when you find the red that pools by your foot.

It all happens at once after. An ache so great forces you to the floor. You are burning hot yet shivers run down your spine. You do not know if Viserys is speaking as you slowly crumple your knees but you do know that you are screaming loud.

Then it passes. Serenity ebbs and flows. You manage to sit on your but, but then it's back with a vengeance. You resist the squeal that morphs into to a shriek and then— you gasp, "no."

Viserys watches, the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms watches as you rip your skirt up and tear your ruined undergarments down, powerless.

Your scream makes his stomach curdle.

Your hands tremble as you reach for the two small bodies between your thighs. You bring them into your chest, uncaring of all else, how wet they are, how red stains you, how Viserys speaks your name. Your babes are are small; they are both far, far too small.

Anguish draws more noises from your throat. It doesn't take long until your voice is hoarse. You cannot keep your peace as you take in their tiny faces. You wipe them with your skirt, finding the silver of their brows and lashes. You also find the gods gave you a girl and a boy. You choke on a sob as you wipe the red away from their thin, white locks, "please wake for your mummy."

The words arrest Viserys. He recalls holding Baelon as life left him. He cherishes now more than ever that at least his boy gazed upon him once. He shares in your misery, yet does not know if how he should approach you; he does not know if he should. He does anyway, no matter how haunting the sound of your wails are.

You quiet momentarily as the man crouches beside you. Your lips wobble, "p-perhaps they'll wake up if you speak High Valyrian."

The thought is gutting.

You gently pull at one babe's eyelid, finding a violet eye looking back at you. Except it isn't looking at you at all and the thought makes you squall. You clutch your children tightly into your chest, rocking them back and forth, "forgive me, my loves. Forgive me for birthing you too soon."

Erryk finally arrives with the maesters. He is stunned in his spot whereas the maesters run to your side. He falls to his knees as lift your children up. They do not touch them, but instead look at each other before muttering something that makes you pull your twins back into your chest.

Your ward is ashamed to face you. He has failed you. Erryk comes to a stand and dares to come near you. You do not notice him. You do not care for anything or anyone else in this moment.

Crimson grief trails behind you as you make your way to the maester's ward. Erryk meant to carry you, but you refused, knowing the walk there would be the last time you'd ever get to hold your children. He silently walks beside you, eyeing your every move.

You freeze when you see your sister by the door. Erryk looks between the two of you, ready to give you space.

Alicent is distraught. Her eyes are nearly as red as yours and you can how her hands tremble even as she picks at them, "sister, I-"

"I wanted to talk to you earlier today."

Her face falls and she immediately runs up to you. She reaches for you but stops herself.

You frown at it, thinking it was because you had been cruel to her, "forgive me, sister."

She rapidly shakes her head, "do not even mention it."

A tear fog your vision, "very well," you sniffle as you lower your gaze, "would... would you like to see them?

She wordlessly agrees.

You step closer to her, "this is Alaeric... and Alyrie."

A hand comes to her mouth, "sister."

"They're perfect, are they not?"

She nods rapidly, "yes—" she shudders, "they are."

You sob with her as she brings her arms around you. Erryk cannot bare the sight. Hot tears run into his armor. Both him and Alicent stay with you as the maester's see to your health. They let you hold Alaeric and Alyrie until your examination commences, and then you confess that if they do not take them now, you will never let them be taken from you ever again.

You were exhausted as you lie in bed. Your body yearned for repose, but you could do nothing of the sort. You groggily stand and walk to your door.

Erryk starts. You caught him in the middle of scratching tears away from his eyes. You frown, "forgive me."

"No, princess," he shakes his head and turns to you, "how might I serve."

You bite your lip, hating yourself for what you were about to request, "I know it is terrible..." you sigh deeply, "I know it is inappropriate, and wrong, and an abuse of my power over you," you tremble, "but please you sleep with me."

"My princess, I-"

"Please," you raise a hand, "if it is too horrible, per- perhaps-" you hiccup, "you can drag the set— the settee beside my bed-"

He silences you by taking your raised hand. You continue to sob as he shakes his head, "I would do anything you ask of me."

You sob and throw your arms around him. Erryk embraces you back, though he was afraid his hard uniform might hurt you.

Otto sees this exchange from across the hall. He had not been moved to tears until this moment. He scratches his eyes before they fall and steels himself away as he walks off. He mentally takes note to observe the Cargyll brothers and to sternly remind them of their vows.

Erryk follows you to your bed. You crawl into your bed as he drags the settee from across the room beside you. You offer him a pillow and he gratefully take it. You knit your brows when he lies down. You sniffle, "will you not take your armor off?"

"I..." he start, about to explain it is inappropriate.

"Is it hard to remove by yourself?" you sit up, "I can help."

"I-" but his words go dry when you begin to undo his steel uniform with much ease.

All your years assisting Gwayne in and out of his armor has made the act come easy for you. You think nothing of it, but Erryk's heart races as you undo his chest plate. He sucks in a sharp breath as you put the metal down, then refuses your help, resigning to undo the rest himself.

You sink into your sheets as you watch your knight lay his armor down. It occurs to you in this moment that this was the first time you'd ever seen him without it. Even through his loose dress shirt, you can see his defined arms and torso. You even see a sliver of a scar from where his shirt opened on his chest and it makes you avert your gaze, knowing you've looked where you should not have.

Your lips begin to wobble as you think of Daemon and the scars he had on his skin. You feel pathetic as you begin to sob again.

Erryk hates the sound. He sits down on the settee and sniffles, "would you like me to sing for you?"

You wipe the snot on your philtrum as you look at him.

"I do not think I inherited her voice, but my mother used to sing to my brother and I when we were younger."

The word mother makes you feel sick, but you do not tell him that, and simply nod.

He clears his throat and takes a breath, "the fishes swim in seas of blue, and dragons breath fire so red. All the birds sing sweetly for you, so come rest ye darling wee head."

A chuckle is drawn amidst your tears as Erryk continues to sing.

"The apples grow up the trees, and flowers rise up from the ground. All the stars shine brightly for you, so come rest ye all safe and sound."

You ask him to repeat this song over and over and he humors you each time.

The day breaks and Arryk comes to your door for his shift. He holds a basket of flowers and a frown. He knocks on your door and announces himself. He is surprised when he hears footsteps approaching. His eyes widen when Erryk opens the door for him. His mouth falls at the messiness of his hair, then it clicks. Arryk nearly drops his basket as he grabs his twin by the collar, "what in seven hells have you done, you fool?"

Erryk is stoic as he responds, "my duty."

"Your-" he looks over his shoulder and pushes his brother into the room, closing the door behind him. Arryk makes sure to keep the silence and spares you a quick glance. The sight of your sleeping form makes him slightly soften, but he still manages to glare at his brother, "did you sleep here?"

Erryk turns to you, "she asked-"

"Did you sleep with her?" Arryk snaps.

The twins glare at each other. Erryk's face contorts in disgust, "I slept on the settee, brother. What do you take me fo-"

"I take you for a fool!" Arryk quips under his breath as he points an accusing finger.

Erryk scoffs, clenching his fist, "and you would have left?"

"I would have waited for her to sleep and resumed my post outsi-"

"Please."

The twins turn, finding you sitting on your bed, rubbing your puffy face. They both instinctively step forward and speak in unison, "princess."

"Please," you repeat, "I asked him to stay."

Arryk turns to Erryk.

"I do not want you to argue because-" you cannot continue because you begin to cry.

Both their faces fall, but Erryk wastes no time in coming to you. He kneels beside your bed and takes your hand, repeating the song he sang to you last night.

Arryk immediately recognizes the tune. His heart tightens as he watches the display. He mutters under his breath, "what have you done?" He walks over to him and watches the way you squeeze his brother's hand. He thinks of how you did the same for him just yesterday and clenches the basket's handle tightly. He begins to sing with his twin.

"The fishes swim in seas of blue, and dragons breath fire so red. All the birds sing sweetly for you, so come rest ye darling wee head.

The apples grow up the trees, and flowers rise up from the ground. All the stars shine brightly for you, so come rest ye all safe and sound."

These are the very words you sing to your sister's son.

Alicent was with child again, and you were giving her a much needed reprieve from her energetic boy who was now nearing his second name day. Aegon happily reached for flowers as you carried him through the gardens. He laughs with not a care in the world. It is strange how deeply happy and deeply sad the boy makes you feel.

Through it all, you smile as you sing. You bounce him in your hip once you finish, "right, shall we go back now?"

Aegon blissfully ignores you when his hand brushes against a flower. You pull him away before he can grab it, and push his hand down, "no, my love, we do not pick roses so carelessly."

Aegon cares little for your words and raises his hand again, "flower!"

You push his hand down and look at him, "you want the rose?" You adjust him in your arm, "you want to pick the rose for mummy?"

"Mummy?" Aegon repeats, turning to you to reach for your brown curls.

You chuckle when he tries to eat it and pull your hair away before he manages to, "silly boy. Shall we ask Ser Arryk to pick the flower for us?"

"Flower for mummy!" he bounces in your arms.

You bounce him back, making him giggle as you repeat, "flower for mummy!" You flip your hair back, "Ser Arryk, could you-"

Your mouth goes dry when you see Daemon staring back at you.

[redstrewn]

Touchstarved art style: pretty handsome anime

Touchstarved characters: true horror beyond cosmetic horror. Horror beyond simple fangs and blood. Horror beyond physicality. Horror that haunts your mind.

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”

[queervegancryptid]

What's funny to me about this is that I have Medicare and Florida Medicaid, and let me tell you: compared to other countries with socialized medicine, we are getting absolutely shafted. It's been going on for a long time, at least since George W. Bush was in office. That's when Medicare Advantage plans started becoming a thing, and in Florida and at least some other states, there is no public option for Medicaid. You HAVE to pick a private "managed care" plan. (UHC, Humana, Florida Blue, Molina, and Sunshine Health are the companies that come to mind. I think there's one or two more in the mix for Florida Medicaid. YMMV.)

My Medicare and Medicaid benefits are administered in one dual special needs plan (D-SNP), which is the best option for me in a lot of ways... except here's the thing: I get those benefits because I'm disabled. Legally, my disability benefits were approved on the basis of PTSD, eating disorders, and severe anxiety.

It is impossible to find an eating disorder recovery program, online or in-person, that accepts Medicare. So I have a disability, and I wouldn't even have insurance at all if I didn't go through the process of sitting in front of an ALJ after nearly three years of waiting time, for her and the hired assessor and fuck knows who else to determine that my eating disorder is a major factor in why I can't work.

So you might say I only have this insurance because of my eating disorder.

So you might even go so far as to say the reason I have this insurance (any insurance, really) is CATEGORICALLY excluded from the benefits offered by this or ANY OTHER plan available to me that includes Medicare. Almost no Florida Medicaid plans are accepted by any eating disorder specific program or facility, and the way it works is that Medicare is billed first, and it seems like no one really knows what that means for people like me.

I currently have a D-SNP, but I could switch to having separate plans for each of Medicare and Florida Medicaid. It might be worth doing, but I can only switch plans once a quarter, and it seems like switching is the only way to find out. But if it doesn't work, and it might not, I could be without benefits I desperately need for months before I even get an answer. I've heard of the whole being more than the sum of its parts, but somehow, Medicare + Medicaid in one plan may do less than two separate plans.

Oh, and my plan? I won't name it, but it's UHC. Private insurance companies run Medicare Advantage plans and D-SNP plans like mine. I have this plan mostly because it covers my prescriptions. (Well, for now, anyway. Fully expecting to lose coverage for HRT within the next year or two.)

The psych facilities in-network to me are okay... if you don't actually have to do anything above outpatient therapy. I would be goddamn terrified to be sent to one of them for inpatient care. Just based on the Google reviews alone.

But who cares about mentally ill poor people. If I had a drug or alcohol problem, I'd have no problem finding a rehab in-network for that, but I'd still never check into one on an inpatient basis. The only ones of those in-network to my plan have the same problem as the general psych facilities near me. I would survive, but I'd probably come out worse, not better.

Original Medicare (Parts A and B) is more predictable in some ways, but it doesn't cover all of what the Medicare Advantage plans (Part C) cover (no prescription drug coverage at all without enrolling in either Part C for all your Medicare or at least a Part D plan, which deals with prescription drugs). Also, you still have to pay a monthly premium unless you're dirt poor and qualify for Medicaid and "Extra Help." So calling it socialized medicine the way Canada does it or the way the NHS does things in the UK or whatever, for example, is seriously stretching the limits of that idea.

Anyway tl;dr I've been dealing with this for a while and have a lot more to say about it, but the point is, if you think Medicare and Medicaid are examples of "socialized medicine" the way other countries use the term, you have been misled and will end up extremely confused and frustrated if your situation actually demands complex care of any kind. And for certain specific conditions, apparently, you're just fucked. You end up nearly dying of anorexia three or four times because there's literally no help for you that won't cost tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket.

Sorry for the rant. I'm incredibly frustrated about these things and just venting a little, I guess. But I also feel like this kind of shit should be common knowledge, because I'm definitely not the only person dealing with it, except somehow no one ever seems to talk about it.

I can hardly wait to try to get an autism assessment covered.

saw someone say the only people who don't approve of Luigi are old enough that they basically DO have socialized health care (medicare or whatever) and as such literally don't understand what everyone else is going through. made me think.

it definitely matches up with the idea that people's political and cultural positions are largely a superset of their material interests

[lesbians4armand]

i really do love the daniel x fake rashid dynamic just for how delicious the power dynamics are. the assumed age gap and servitude putting daniel in a position of power that he is not really in at all in dubai in a house of a vampire. but that same assumed dynamic giving “rashid” knowledge that daniel does not have as the personal assistant to a vampire, who is fed on by him, and as daniel assumes, he also sleeps with. Daniel is jealous of this proximity to louis but jealous of “rashid” himself as well, wondering how he tastes.

then of course, the fact this is all a premise. Daniel is in no position of power at all, hes being played with, toyed with, all his private comments and desires are transparently observed by not one but two vampires that have the power of life and death over him.

but they ALLOW this, they allow daniel’s perceived power, his desire, putting themselves in a false submission to him as both an interviewee and a servant, letting him feel this power as a taste, but every time he gets comfortable in it, reminding him that its a game. wonderful truly

[ophanstears]

🍀

I know that Clover's gender is up to interpretation (the devs DID say so themselves) but I still feel weird when people make them exclusively male or female LOL Like it's TECHNICALLY fine??? but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

more in tags as usual because I am a yapper. i am so sorry for having strong opinions about gender and representation. i am usually more fun than this 🥲🥲🥲🥲

[puppyeared]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way