#its about the fact that you arent even really trapped

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

Love a self-inflicted time loop. The main character isn’t trapped.  They can stop whenever they want.  But how can they when things aren’t perfect yet?  They can do better than this.  They need to try again.  They can get it right this time.  They just need to try again.  They can stop anytime they want.  Just one more time.  They can fix this. They just need to try again.  There are still things to fix.  They just need to try again.

[dysaniadisorder]

i hate how normalized military is in the us im gonna rip my hair out

[mellonieee]

Mellonie does FOP + A New Wish Analysis: 1

This is what a week of AC and Antifairy brainrot has led to. After this I think I’m going to actually watch through the entire original series from the Oh Yeah! Shorts all the way to Season 10. (Hopefully I wont hate it too much.) And then rewatch ANW again once it hits streaming for the full FOP experience. And also so I could maybe do more of this analysis stuff, its fun.

Plans for later aside, this and any I do in the future, will only use episodes the character actually appears in, and not ones that they are merely mentioned in. Its also important to note that I likely wont use all the episodes the Character appears in.

That old black magic is the introduction to Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, and the Anti-Fairies as a whole. They’re described as “Regular Fairies, but anti.”

This episode establishes a few things:

1.Fairy magic cannot interfere with Anti-fairy magic.

2.On Friday the 13th, Antifairies escape from Fairyworld and cause bad luck. Antifairies are naturally drawn to anything that triggers bad luck to happen.

3.Antifairies can only be seen by humans with anti-fairy goggles.

4.Antifairies are opposites of their fairy counterpart in personality. AW is “incredibly stupid and eats with her feet.” AC is “not an idiot, in any matter once so ever.”

But what’s really interesting about this episode is what Jorgen and Anti-Cosmo have to say about the anti-fairies.

“No one is allowed in Anti-fairy world!”

“You see, we’ve been trapped behind that blasted barrier for centuries.”

Jorgen, you cant just imprison a whole group without expecting any problems. Its no wonder they wanted to escape so badly. Is causing bad luck something, well, bad, enough to warrant the imprisonment of an entire race? The anti-fairies arent good at all, obviously, but they are biologically made to thrive off of bad luck and negative energy. This really muddies the waters when it comes to seeing this as a solely ‘black and white’ situation. Most, but not all, of what AC does is for the antifairies. He’s evil and chaotic by nature, but he’s not evil evil, yknow.

There isnt really anything else noteworthy to say about that old black magic outside of this, but I did notice that AC knew Timmy’s name despite the fact he never met him before that point, somehow. I merely brush it off as a minor goof and just figure AC mustve made a lucky (haha) guess, but if you want a crazy theory to explain it, then maybe anti-fairies share vague recollections or memories with their fairy counterparts. I dont actually think thats true, but theres your food for thought.

The second appearance of the antifairies, The Gland Plan instantly ditches the entire ‘antifairy goggles’ thing, which is honestly for the better, even if I do think it made anti-fairies more unique. They are sadly never getting the invisibilty thing back.

This episode establishes that the faggigly gland is a special organ in a fairies body that allows the fairy to change shape, and that both fairies and anti-fairies have one. Fairy biology in general is really questionable, especially if you factor in the angel forms from A New Wish, but thats a topic for another day.

A few things to note:

1.This is the start of that “Hello, Clarice.” quote that AC and Foop/Irep use. Its a reference to Silence of the Lambs but its a misquote anyway because Lecter never even says hello to Clarice.

2.AC claims that he cant see a thing without his monocle. If he isnt lying about that and isnt using the monocle only as a symbol of prestige, then he has really terrible eyesight and is most likely completely blind in one eye.

3.Despite AC calling his wife a twit, he prefaces it by saying that he loves her very much. Most instances of AC talking to his wife does include him being typically annoyed when she messes with his plans, but outside of that he acts courteous towards her. (“Chin up, my beloved Anti-Wanda! Your savior, Anti-Cosmo, will have you all free presently!”)

4.The more questionable line is when Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo are having the operation and AC claims that if he does live, Cosmo should take his wife. Needless to say, AC words things very poorly at times, but this statement does have them acknowledging that an anti-fairy and a fairy could hypothetically be with one another’s counterpart.

“Cosmo, old friend, since we both carry a piece of each other inside of us, I see no reason for us to do battle. But I warn you, don't look for me.”

AC doesnt hold that much ill-will towards Cosmo like how I figure most would expect him to. He seems to be fed up and annoyed by his counterpart’s foolishness, but he does not despise him.

Right as the episode ends, Timmy brings up the idea that maybe more than the faggigly glands got transplanted. There isnt much evidence to support this outside of the brief voice change Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo had, but I’m starting to think Timmy was right considering how Anti-Cosmo acts in A New Wish.

I dont know if AC and AW retired like Wanda and Cosmo did, but I feel like AC’s very obvious decline in intelligence is a likely theory as to why Irep now seems to be in charge of the anti-fairies as shown in A New Wish.

I frankly can’t see the New Wish Version of AC leading the antifairies compared to how he acted in the old show. Not when he now thinks leaving a cage unattended is a “good idea.” That isnt something AC would say at all if we’re going off of his original characterization. It’s interesting to think of a reason in-universe as to how he went from “not an idiot, in any matter once so ever.” to someone who definitely is not as smart as he use to be.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hiiiii~! Can I kindly ask for some reverse comfort for Pomni, Ragatha and Gangle with an s/o who is a magician of sorts. S/o is always doing little tricks and such to keep them entertained and/or amused, they are always helping with something if they want. Like helping Gangle fix her mask or whisk away the centipedes Jax left in Ragatha’s room. And overall just provide a sense of comfort for them.

Pomni, Ragatha, and Gangle x a caring!magician!reader !

i really needed to write this because i really popped off with the character anguish in the last post i dont know what happened to me but i need to write something fluffy otherwise im going to implode i love writing about grief and the inherent weakness of man but god damn!!! also i hope you guys like the new format im trying out; i think i might switch between this format and bullet points since sometimes i just need to yap my trap but other times i need the structure that bullet points give me yk

POMNI:

while pomni is not a clown, i like to think you two try to magic tricks... i think, depending on how long pomni has been in the digital world, they would indulge in you... besides, spending time with you is always nice.. you teach her the ropes of the digital world as well, mostly things that ragatha missed and the like. you always lend a ear when pomni stresses over needing to find an exit. even if you arent actively trying to escape or if you have already accepted your current predicament, you still offer your support. its sweet, really. hold the jester, its why you were given hands

RAGATHA:

i know ive used this idea before, and you said it in your ask but i love the idea of someone/the reader helping ragatha check her room for bugs!! imagine making a show of the entire thing with your silly magician abilities to try to ease the tension out of ragatha; who is obviously scared about the fact that theres centipedes in her room. as a side thing imagine putting her hair back behind her ear... or rather, making the motion... im not sure if ragatha would have ears or not but... imagine doing the motion and pulling a flower out of thin air for her. i think that would be sweet and cute. ragatha takes the flower, rosy cheeked and all flustered and and and !!!

GANGLE:

when you came to gangle and gave her a repaired comedy mask she was over the moon! you had even added some extra flair for it so its more personalized for her.. she never lets you hear the end of how happy she is! though, i feel she would be more heartbroken than before if it were to break... but not to worry! you just turn this into a night between the two of you where you mend the mask together! kinda dry on gangle ideas for this one, my apolocheese </3

[ariscats]

Jameson analyzes part 2: Traumas (or a very long rant against Emily Laughin, who I cant be bother to learn how to spell her last name)

“Cause I've made some real big mistakes/ But you make the worst one look fine/ I should've known it was strange/ You only come out at night/ I used to think I was smart/ But you made me look so naive/ The way you sold me for parts/ As you sunk your teeth into me, oh/ Bloodsucker, famefucker/ Bleedin' me dry, like a goddamn vampire”

So there is this girl, who comes at his house every summer and has a heart diesse. She cant live so everyone has to do whatever she asks to make it up for it. Then one day she gets a surgery and now she gets to live, and who is her ticket to living? Jameson and Grayson.

Emily is his first kiss. However, 3 seconds after SHE KISSES HIS BROTHER WHO HE ALREADY INSECURE ABOUT BECAUSE OF HIS F. GRANDFATHER. And you have to be pretty dumd to not realize that what emily really wanted in the scene is Grayson to kiss her and she just used Jameson because she could (I still can’t believe that Emily did “loved” Gray more than Jameson).

Then she moves to his city and goes to his school. And, as far as a bitch she is, she must have been rl something because she became the most popular girl at school.

(Now, this is where things get tricky. I’m going to use the version fo what I believe happened. If you have another version you can picture like that)

Then they start dating. They borh want to live and do things because they can rather because they should. She got her golden ticket to freedom and he got the attention he’s been craving his whole life. They do everything together because she wants more and he wants more and nothing is never enough for them. So Jameson takes her to do everything they have the right to because Jameson is, at te end of the day, a good boyfriend.

But, its still not enough for Emily. Because she goes after fucking Grayson AND HE DOES THE SAME TING AS JAMESON BECAUSE THEY ARE THE OPOSITE SIDE OF THE SAME COIN.

Then they start fighting. Best friends for their whole life, but they slowly start to hate each other because fucking Emily turned everything INTO A GAME, MAKING LOVE A GAME THE SAME WAY TJEIR FAMILY HAS BEEN TRAUMATAZING THEM THEIR WHOLE LIFES. AND SHE KEEPS A FUCKING SCORE OF WHO HAS MORE POINTS, BY VOICE RECORDING.

Then one beautifull day Rebecca decides that betrayl by both ends doesnt hurts and tells Jameson about the scores and sends him the audio Emily made.

Jameson Hawthorne had to listen the girl he ruined his life for for over a year sumarize him and his love as some points. He breaks up with her, and she decides to go after Grayson. And then she jumps. But he is also there, because love and family are never that simple and jameson is a tiny bit (read in the level of therapy) of a masochist. And then SHE BLINKS AND LAUGHS AT HIM AND WHEN HE FINALLY MANAGES TO GO AWAY SHE START HAVING HEART PROBLEMS. BUT SHE HAS PLAYED HIM SO MUCH THAT HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT REALITY IS ANYMORE, and she hadnt had any heart problems for the past 4 years. So he leaves and she dies, and hell breakes lose.

He lost a girl he has know his whole life. He just “learned” that his love arent worth more than some points, he just got out of a increadibly toxic relasionship that ruined his life. The healthy thing would have been if he had some safe space to talk about what Emily did to him and have a strong support system. But everyone he knows is muroning her. They see her as an angle, so everything she did to him goes under the traps because how do you even dare to say something about dear angle Emily. And he has to live with the fact that he belives he killed her. And he cant also talk about anyone about that, for obvious reasons (but his grandfather knows and uses that against him).

Remember what I said about him being a masochist? Now is the era of his great self destruction (with an almost suicide attempt there, that his grandfather was present again and used that agaisnt him, *again*). Its all buttom up in him and he feels angry and sad and nothing. And between these 3, he chose anger. Also, Thea blames the Hawthorne for a death they didnt cause because who dares to say something bad about angles emily? So she puts the whole school agaisnt him and makes school unberable to him. Everyone likes to joke about Jameson missing school but has anyone ever wondered why he hated there so much? He didnt skiped class because he was a rebel 😝🤘but because everyone f. hated him and made his life hell.

[corvidares]

thoughts and feelings about fnaf: into the pit

(spoilers! talk of endings!)

so, while i enjoyed playing this game a lot, i am left feeling dissatisfied in a lot of ways, mostly in relation to what the hell just happened

on the side of things i LIKED:

the pixel style!!! good god this feels so perfect for fnaf. obviously we've always had the minigames in the retro style, and while fnaf has had a fine enough "look" for years, i really hope to see more stylization like this. the pixel art and animations are beautiful and full of character

there's a lot of visual detail, both in the sense of easter eggs (of course) and background clutter. fnaf games are always good at having gross settings, and this definitely does that. even the cloud of dust that pops up every time you jump in the ball pit is yucky, lmao

speaking of details, the sound design is also VERY good. it conveys a lot of what is not seen; the closer you get to a kid thats been captured by spring trap (pit trap? guys idk what to call him) the more you hear their cries and whimpers. of course, as always, sound is a part of the gameplay too, helping you know if spring trap is close and that you need to hide

the writing in terms of dialogue and such is good! i like that oswald is.. well, he's kinda dumb. rightfully so, for a kid! he does things that arent always logical, it takes him a hot minute to figure out that hes in the past, etc

its also genuinely distressing and sad to see him suffering, to see him try to tell his mom that something is deeply wrong, only to be brushed aside because (presumably) the possession magic is invisible to adults. to see his trauma get worse and worse as the days pass; nightmares, visions, straight up sleeping through his school day because he's been up all night! even his idle sprites are always sad and scared

the gameplay itself! the learning curve felt appropriate, i liked the strategy of using the noise makers, hiding, and the vents. fwiw i did play the "creepy" setting which is essentially easy mode. but i still died plenty, its not a complete cakewalk or anything.

the classic fnaf snark sense of humor is definitely here in this game, and i love it. the achievements? hilarious. the tips on the loading screens, jeff's entire character?? good stuff.

misc things i noticed:

for whatever reason, after night 1 i had a constant "bloody/strain" filter at the edges of my gameplay. not sure if this is like, random? game footage ive seen doesnt have it, and one even had a different filter. not sure what to make of it, it seems odd to just be a meaningless, randomized detail?

i got one glitch: after checking the cameras while the other kid is in security with me, oswald's sprite didnt reappear and i couldnt do anything. so i had to restart the game lol. not major, and i have no idea how common it is. otherwise everything was quite functional iirc

regarding the more critical side of things.. im mostly frustrated. now, i know fnaf, i know it never serves you answers on a platter. i know theres always an abundance of easter eggs and secrets (which i have tried to research, tho the game is still new). but upon finishing the game and seeing all the endings, i realized i didnt get answers about a lot of things i thought i would. for example;

where the hell is foxy??? the other core three are there and get added as enemies when you progress. his stage is present and some kids at the past party mention they miss seeing him. but he's not on ANY of the imagery throughout the pizzeria. in fact, we don't see him at all. if i didnt know who foxy was, i would only know his name. the only exception might be some empty masks in the backgrounds, but honestly i doubt it. this seems.. really strange to me. ill elaborate later

why did spring trap tie up oswald's dad? what was he going to do to him? did.. did anyone even die? oswald rescues everyone!

this is probably silly and i acknowledge that. but what was up with the giant spider jump scares..... i assumed itd be a new enemy or something but nah. THAT SPIDER WAS TOO BIG. WHY

what was oz's dad doing this whole time? was he trying to escape at some point? why is his shit all over the resturant?

onto just general critiques:

the gameplay did get a bit formulaic and sometimes fetch quests felt repetitive and/or like busy work. like why did i have to get five different sets of keys. bruh

the story has a lot of plotholes. and again, this is fnaf, these games have always looked like swiss goddamn cheese. but i can still be frustrated about it

for example, how is time passing in the past versus the present? IS it passing if we're not there? how do we affect the past? why does no one in the present acknowledge what happened here?? did spring trap get caught in this timeline? did anyone die? was oswald always a part of these events or did he change the timeline? this is presumably the first four/five murders, but a lot doesnt add up. is there a timeline where oz is one of the murdered kids? in the bad ending, he gets possessed, but not stuffed in a suit.

how does spring trap's possession even work? back then he was still alive and perfectly mortal... right? but then again, he supposedly strangles himself in the end, then leaps back to life to kill jeff? huh???

why is spring trap so animalistic? he doesnt seem human, and his eyes glow, which i dont think is something that suit can do (though i could definitely be remembering wrong)

speaking of which, i dont think the og four's eyes glow either, but they do in this game.

the "true good" ending does not make any fucking sense, first of all. second of all, considering the amount of work one would have to do to get it, it is extremely minimal. if i had done all that and only gotten a slight dialogue change as well as a "yay happy eating pizza at jeff's" scene i wouldve been PISSED.

also, speaking of not making sense, im sorry but oswald's lie to his dad about what happened is so obviously not true. why does he not question this at ALL? ESPECIALLY considering he has a fucking CHUNK OF HIS ARM BITTEN OFF. we see in jeff's ending that that shit bled a fucking lot! was his dad too concussed to call him on the obvious lie of "you fell and hit your head". and if he was, he would OBVIOUSLY NOTICE LATER THAT FIVE DAYS HAVE PASSED. AND THAT SOMEONE WAS WALKING AROUND PRETENDING TO BE HIM. WHAT (and dont say "oh he thinks he just lost his memory of those days" YOU DO NOT LOSE HUGE CHUNKS OF MEMORY UNLESS THERE IS MAJOR BRAIN DAMAGE OR TRAUMA. UH UH)

while talking to my gf, we came up with a couple theories.

one, she thinks its likely this game had more planned. and i agree - the missing presence of foxy is the biggest indicator, in my opinion, but theres other things too. for example, despite the fact that we're never able to enter the library or mill, both places have a map that can be pulled up when you press the map button outside those buildings.

the mill, especially, obviously has a ton of animatronic parts in the trash, and we all know that can be important... it seems to be too big a thing to be a simple easter egg, but what do i know.

another thing that feels way too big to be an easter egg is gabrielle; the girl who gives you a notebook with information about the animatronics (not foxy :( ) that provides hints for later. she mentions that her grandfather was a technician that worked with them back in the day. he never talks about it now though (the ONE acknowledgement we get in the present that bad shit went down!!!)

like.. is this henry? someone else? SURELY that is not a random guy. but it's a one and done interaction. i thought, when meeting her, that she would become a friend and ally, that we'd be able to learn more. the writing seemed to slant that way, but no. we're never able to talk to her again afaik

all this lends itself to the idea that the game was pushed. i can perfectly picture, like a year ago, someone telling the team "fnaf 10th anniversary is august 2024, get it out for then" and them having to cut stuff they had planned (but perhaps not developed, as afaik there are not missing assets showing foxy or the other things mentioned)

which is obviously a shame, and if thats the case i of course commend the team! this is a great game, especially if it was rushed. but this is becoming a pattern with fnaf games, and considering this is such a big successful franchise, that should not be the case.

anyway! overall, i truly did enjoy playing into the pit, and im very glad it was my first experience playing a fnaf game myself rather than watching a playthrough. and there are secrets that seem to be deliberately cliffhangers, in true fnaf game fashion. such as the photo that stuns spring trap, or the minigames.

[maskedinfinate]

hehe um ok ! since you asked so politely

this is um. corrin. an oc for that undertale post-neutral run au i posted about a few days back. They're a captain of a place called the Riverbed, my own fanmade area which is sorta above waterfall. It's the highest point of the underground and is basically where all the water FALLS from. into. waterfall. wow. amazing. Corrin wants to act intimidating he wants to act like a bigger "threat" than he already kind of is, because hes had to experience a lot of people treating him like he didnt know a thing about what he was talking about when he was CLEARLY experienced, but wasnt listened to because he looked the youngest, and young = stupid apparently. So he tends to hide his face, because he really just. hates that. Corrin is also a type of water monster that can mainly only survive in waterfall, in places like hotland (or i dunno the DUNES) he is at risk of evapporating very quickly and straight up DYING. btw :3 i'll add kind of a lighting round of facts abt them that arent really mega important but if you want more to chew on then like ok here (THIS IS "do you like the colour of the sky?" LEVEL LONG READ MORE AT YOUR OWN RISK)

I'll start from when he was a babey up until like present time in my au i guess

Corrin was born in the riverbed area, while its not very populated due to having more water than land, he and his family thrived. His mother used to be a captain too, but she quit sailing to raise him. He got incredibly attached to all the stories she told about her experiences with sailing, and wanted to do just that when he grew up.

When he was a teen he needed to earn enough money to be a personal student for a well trained sailor, because there arent many schools in the underground to begin with so education regarding specific things like sailing, art, etc, have to be exercised by a personal trainer.

To get that money for about a year he worked at a daycare in snowdin, which was far from home but worth it. Working with vastly different kids who were learning all about their enviornment taught Corrin how to properly handle a large group of people all at once in a calm and content manner.

Once he had enough money he got to study. woohoo! then he got to sail! yippee! he got himself a crew, a good boat, and everything.

Corrin and his crew's main goal for sailing is to help other monsters. Sometimes monsters can get stuck in waterfall, or even get lost, maybe even be trapped under the riverbeds waves, and thats where they swoop in to help. They actually managed to help a few royal guards who were in danger at some point, which garnered them a bit more attention. Corrin was gifted a harpoon by undyne as thanks for he and his crews effort into helping the royal guard, and he uses said harpoon to fire at shit with a harpoon gun :3 ok so. this is the part where corrin meets star ok. get ready ig.

Sometimes, monsters from that little home area of waterfall get lost and need a ride back with the boat. But sailing there is of course safer, but takes a long time due to a bunch of twists and turns needing to be taken. So corrin and their crew thought of a plan. They'd scope out a sort of shortcut to get to that home area faster so monsters wouldnt have to wait so long. As they were testing their theory the waters were extremely uncooperative, but Corrin got reckless. He took a wrong turn and they ended up crashing and he went overboard. Corrin sorta. floated away. half drowning, half not, just kinda out of it. Since the riverbed is the highest point of the underground, he ended up falling! many times! and much like a certain lil human guy ended up crashing into one of the mines in the dunes. The dunes, being a very hot area, is NOT suited at all for corrin. He can die there if going without water for at most 3 days. So corrin seeked refuge and for help to get back to waterfall or for someone to just. idk. give him water. Unfortunately he was attacked ! uh oh! From his looks alone corrin does NOT at ALL look like hes from the dunes and is an easy target, yknow. Corrin fought back though as he does have a weapon, a fucking harpoon gun, but as he did so he was caught in the act at the worst second. in rolls the fuckin feisty five, despite knowing how serious the situation is they were like "nah lets keep this up for the roleplay" "we might die" "no" sooooo corrin got locked up in jail! He was able to explain his situation about how hes a water monster and will die within days if hes kept in that cell, so they come up with a compromise. If corrin helps them out around the wild east, THEY can help him get back to waterfall AND give him water ! And yea. then he and star get mega gay and homosexual. wow. corrin actually forms a bit of a rivalry between the five because he doesnt enjoy being bossed around, but he kind of has to or he might die yknow. dont feel like giving all the juicy details but eventually he and star get a bit close and yeeeaaaaaa but then they help corrin back to waterfall, but he and star stay in touch. through letters ! Corrin keeps every letter he gets from star btw in a special little box. because he likes stars awful handwriting

Eventually though when frisk rolls around, and kills asgore (canon to my au) Corrin is fucking. Furious. He has lost all hope. He as well as entire monsterkind has lost their freedom to a CHILD. Blinded by rage he begins taking out all his anger out on humanity, which, to Star, who KNEW clover and LOVED them like family because of how incredibly kind they were, takes great offense to that. Corrin and Star have to temporarily take a break from eachother so that Corrin can work on his issues regarding humanity, having to realize frisk didnt have much of a choice. It was either them or asgore. And they're a child. Who might not be able to process or understand the weight they carried on their shoulders.

Once Corrin comes to terms with that, and calms down, he and Star are back together and are happy :3

Though, then Palila enters !!! (another oc for the au, the player char) and. Corrin is hesitant. Palila sneaked onto their ship to be able to go from one place to another much quicker, but in turn, Corrin has no idea how to handle them. Corrin doesnt know what to do, all hes ever learnt was to fight or get someone off of the ship immediately if possible. But Palila is a child. A HUMAN child. He doesnt want to fight them, not after all the time he spent collecting himself and trying to berid of all his hatred for humanity and what they've done to monsters, but he's forced into a situation where he HAS to fight because someone is TRESSPASSING on their property. He first sends Palila to Time-out (those daycare instincts kicking in) but once they escape he cant really do anything but fight.

Once hes spared though, he makes a compromise with Palila too. They can stay on his ship whenever they need to and wherever they want to go (like sorta the riverperson) but they must ask or inform someone on deck before doing so. and now hes a dad :3 So yeah thats basically all of it in like a very bitcrushed summary i didnt want this to get too long but whoops. If you're reading this, you're cool. If you read EVERYTHING? you're insane, love that for you. thank you.

[kvothbloodless]

As someone who’s followed you for a long time, and a fellow writer….do you genuinely support chatGPT? Even if it has been proven to scrape people’s writings without their consent? And the fact that its a soulless husk of what actual writing is?

So Ive done my best to avoid AI discourse, but I am bad at it. So to put it clearly.

I dont Support chatgpt specifically. Its a program made by a corporation because they can make a profit from it, and curtail its capabilities in line with their goals. I use it sometimes because its fun ans convenient, but I dont pay for it or anything. I think pretty much all legitimate concerns about AI are really just concerns about corporate ethics, at which point the AI specifically becomes irrelevant

I also dont really think the situation in general is one where "support" is the right word to use; its like asking if I support cameras.

I want to be clear im not trying to be vague though; i think in general AI is pretty cool, and that 99% of the arguments against it are factually incorrect, based on inconsistent or bad moral frameworks, or both. Im not going to get into all the reasons AIs are cool, since I dont feel up to doing a Big AI Post, but I do want to gesture vahuely in the direction of how much more accessible this makes artistic creation and experimentation, and all the insanely fun things people can use AI for. However, i do want to address the common arguments against it, especially since it feels like a lot of people are just misinformed and falling into the very easy tumblr trap.

1. Scraping fics without consent: if you post something on a public site for the public to read, and someone downloads it to read it, its not stealing. Tumblr is generally pretty firmly against strict copywrite laws, so its a bit weird that so many people are Very concerned about AIs "stealing" their work in a way thats even less direct than fanfiction. Like, "your writing is so in character" and "wow youre really good at imitating the authors writing style" are common compliments on fics.

To be clear, there are absolutely ways of interacting with free public content thats bad (like reposting). But AIs arent frankensteining stuff together, or copy pasting anything; they literally could not do that. The training/model files are so insanely tiny compared to the amount of training data that it would be impossible for them to be storing that sort of thing. An AI learning from your writing isnt really any different than a human reading your writing, going "oh I like that" subconsciously, and using that to inform their future writing.

Whats that quote about "to get better at writing, read more"? If you believe that statememt is accurate, then Im a bit confused how youd be upset about an AI "reading" your writing and learning from it?

All of the Actual ways this could be used badly (copying someones art style and then selling art cheaper, etc.) arent actually unique to AI (a person can also do that!), and also usually arent really a thing thats happening enough to be a problem (most people who want art from an artist enough to commission them, are going to want it to actually be done By that artist). Using AI to make an original work, or even to finish a fanfic someone else wrote, is no more theft than if you did it by yourself.

2. "Soulless Husk": im sorry im genuinely trying my best here to be gentle and respectful, but this talking point genuinely makes my blood boil a bit, so im not trying to get personal or insult anyone specifically. Claiming that art made by humans is automatically deeper, that art is all about Meaning and Struggle, comes off as extremely pretentious and just doesnt engage with the reality of art. Im having trouble articulating a good argument here, but like. Art doesnt have to be deep, it doesnt have to have a Message, and the necessity of struggling in order to learn about and create art is an unequivocable bad thing.

Many many people make art (visual, written, etc.) becuase they want to see or read something cool or because they think others will find it fun. Many many people who would like to create art do not do so because it requires talent/practice that they are not willing to put the time and effort into developing, and this is not a moral issue. As Ive said before, laziness is a virtue and self-indulgance is a goal we should aspire to. Using a tool to make the incredibly fun act of creating easier and more accessible is awesome.

Also, who gets to define what "actual art" is? Genuinely seems a bit arrogant and presumptuous to declare that something is or is not "actual art" based on your own preferences.

The posts that Really annoy me are the ones that are like "cant understand the people RPing or playing a TTRPG with AI becuz its soulless. I only ever RP with other people because the fun part is being social or collaberatively building story" or whatever. Cool. I rp and play tabletops because i like to have fun and I enjoy those activities. Im gonna be honest, i find it a bit offensive and kinda.. dumb, to act like its somehow morally superior to only enjoy oneself in a way that Builds Community or Has A Meaning. People do meaningless things because they enjoy doing them and so long as no one is being hurt, thats fine.

3. Replacing workers: This is the only argument that has Any weight, but its still a bad argument. Its absolutrly true that AI is gonna put people out of work. The fact that more people will be out of work and struggling is a bad thing. This is also what happens when literally any new technology is developed, dating all the way back to the industrial revolution (at the Very latest). Automation is almost always a massive net benefit to humanity (im aware this topic could be its own series of posts but You Know What I Mean, please dont start industrialization discourse here), and the fact that it puts people out of work isnt actually an argument against it. Lots of radio operators lost their job when telephones were invented, but that doesnt mean people should have never used the telephone and obstinately stuck with radios. When phone technology advanced, a lot of phone operators lost their jobs, but that doesnt mean people were Morally Wrong to use the new developments that made phones far more convenient.

As in all things, el problema es capitalismo; AI isnt preventing anyone from doing art, its just reducing how many people can get paid to do their art. The correct solution to automation putting people out of work is not to stop the wheel of tech development, but to change society so that one doesnt have to slave away in order to survive.

This also raises the adjacent point, which is that halting tech development like this is impossible. Once the cat is out of the bag, its not going back in. AI tech is going to develop and become more widespread and theres literally nothing you can do to stop that. If you want to be upset about that, its your perogative ig, but im gonna be excitedly waiting for the dam to break and we get an open source LLM that I can use without worrying about data privacy or corporate filters, so I can have fun and RP however much I want and finally be able to write the stuff I want to write but cant do on my own because I have adhd and chronic fatigue, and Id kinda prefer if people stopped trying to rain on my parade because they think im not having fun or creating art in the "right way".

EDIT: I did want to add one more thing! A US court ruled that you cant copywrite something created completely by an AI, and i think thats an awesome move and I hope it gets expanded a bit and spreads elsewhere. This isnt a position based on whether something produced in this way counts as "real art" or is morally bad or whatever, I just think that reducing corporate and IP grasp on anything is good, and that AI specifically is going to be most enjoyable when its free and open source.

[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream sorry this is a long one, feel free to answer

so recently I’ve been trapped in the past, I’ve made so many mistakes and so many stupid things I regret them so much, recently a mutual unfollowed me and I’m 100% it’s because of an old friend. we had a terrible falling out we both equally made mistakes and I’ve been working and changing myself from mine , moving on and reflecting from my past actions. I’ve gotten better yet I feel like others still talking about me to my friends will make everyone leave and their my best friends. I feel like a huge failure or even irredeemable

and I’m afraid everyone I love will leave me. I hate my past I wanna be better and so nobody needs to ever get mad or point out any bad behavior. I never wanna be a stressor

I’ve never done non dual to get something out off, never ever. but I always let go and trust god in situations , which help me and as I trusted it it always works out , god always plans the perfect outcome even if the process is a bundle of tears.

but how do you deal with situations where you jay need to let go and trust god? I tend to get so paranoid and the thought of “what if this is different? and it ends up worse” what helps you really calm down and be able to trust. your advice has always made a difference in my life

sorry if this is a trauma dump you are nobodies . Your advice for your another anons have helped me so much. feel free to answer if wanted. thank you for everything dream.

hewwo <3

it seems to me that although you think youre working on yourself a lot, you also just won't let go of what has happened, who you "were" and what you experienced back then. and you hold those beliefs a lot on others. you see people as something to be afraid of, something that could hurt you. something that is against you. and like that, you have this experience of people being such.

nothing could end up worse, thats the hardest pill to swallow. even in my darkest times, facing what i thought was my deepest fears at the time, i always survived and yet, i always looked back happily at what passed. because if someone is like that towards you, its best to let them free. if you are truly working on you, and forgiving yourself, and showing up in a better way... are they truly friends if they walk away from you easily? if everyone made mistakes, why arent you allowed to?

more than anything you have to truly let go and trust and stop trying to control the others in this situation. but i understand you a lot, when there's so much fear it becomes paralyzing, its not that easy to simply remember there is love and there is god and everything is okay. because in fact, it feels like nothing but that suffocating fear is real, and so you may act from that.

i think in those situations, all you can do is breathe. and little by little find ways to return to yourself again, to return to love. its not going to be overnight nor easy, but its a start. its a way. remember that true love does not judge, so stop judging yourself but also stop accepting that judgment from others, friends or not.

i hope this is somewhat helpful and you find yourself feeling relieved soon <3

[mochiwrites]

Grian and Mumbo didn’t know Tubbo very well, but his death still hits them.

NUH UH. NUH UHHH. NO. NUH UH. HES NOT. HE CANT BE. WE DIDNT SEE HIS CORPSE. EVERYONE KNOWS THEYRE NOT REALLY DEAD UNTIL THEYRE SEEN DEAD, AND EVEN THEN THERES A CHANCE. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS LINE AS REAL.

Grian saw his loneliness, his pain. He knows that’s real. 

and here we have grian being the fraying string tying the three tentatively together. thats so grian of him.

It’s only for a second before his knuckles make contact with Scar’s cheek, stinging his hand. 

that was SO satisfying. i know scars going through hell right now and has been for a while but that was SO SATISTFYING. grians anger is so satisfying. everything about their rage and grief and hurt is so real i love it

He latches onto that gut feeling he had earlier, and he knows which side Scar’s truly on now.

grian really embodies the best parts of humanity doesnt he? hes a million times better a man than me. how hes capable of being so.. so grian will never fail to amaze me.

��But I punched you, so I’d call us even for right now.” 

i really doubt thats how it works but sure thing buddy.

“Something’s inside it,”

yk what would be the coolest thing ever? if tubbo's alive and in that box and turns out hes been known about scar's whole fae magic thing and tubbos fine and alive and ALIVE AND ALIVE and scar's changed through his supposed death and TUBBOS ALIVE AND

Tubbo smells of smoke, and he could certainly use a shower, but he’s alive, and Scar weeps tears of joy.

HA. HAHAHA. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. HA HA HA. HA. YOU TRIED TO FOOL US YOU EVIL AUTHOR. BUT YOU COULDNT FOOL ME. I SAW THROUGH YOUR CURSED TRAPS LIKE THEY WERE A CLEAR PANE OF GLASS. HA. IM EXTREMELY HAPPY RIGHT NOW. SOMETHING BAD BETTER NOT HAPPEN OR I WILL CRY AGAIN.

He can only hope. 

OF COURSE HE CAN HES GRIAN!!!!! AHHHHUFHDHNSKFHSJDJSHSHDHDJWHDBD. ok. okokok. my playlist has done some INSANE work here because it played immortal by mitski when scar found the fire and its playing battle cries by the amazing devil and if those arent the perfect songs for those scenes idk what are

ARC TWO IS OVER!! AAAAAAAAAAAA im so SCARED but so EXCITED AJHHFIDGHSJFHDJHEJDJAJRBDHWH

you, mochi, are an absolute menace. i dont feel this much, ever. punch my face and call me scar because im feeling so many things right now.

I think I’ve mentioned it before but !!!! getting to write grian punching scar, and him getting angry with scar, was SO cathartic and satisfying. it’s finally out in the open and there and AUGH. grian 100% deserved to express that anger toward scar and I fully intended to let it happen

but then it was also soooo important that he (along with us, the readers) acknowledge the fact that scar is also a victim in this. did he do bad things? absolutely. but his hand was forced. and grian seeing that needed to be there

and :D I’m really pleased with how arc 2 wrapped up hehe. I’m glad it felt satisfying <3

[etherealspacejelly]

ERM

ok so

anonymous bc no way am i showing my url on this Jhshsheheh

so like all my friends at school. they seem. so much more mature than i am???

like even the ones who are younger than me. they're already thinking about partners. and dating n stuff. like some of my friends already have partners

but i. just am not interested in that rn??? and sometimes i feel like there's. something Wrong with me. yk

like im year 9 but. i feel like i should be thinking about this and it feels like im not mature enough that i don't want to worry abt that now

- 🐉

there is nothing wrong with you. listen to me. there is absolutely Nothing wrong with you.

it is perfectly normal to not be interested in romantic relationships, i wasnt at your age and im still not. i am in a platonic relationship with my best friend, mostly because it comforts us both to know that no matter what happens we will not be alone. even if all of our other friends get into romantic relationships and prioritise them over friendships

desiring a romantic partner does not make you more mature than anyone else. having a romantic partner or a partner of any kind is not a requirement for happiness, fulfilment, or maturity.

focus on what You actually want. ask yourself what would make You happy, what would make you feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life. set aside these notions of what we are Supposed to want, of what it is ""Normal"" to want, and focus your attention on yourself. this is your life, and you owe it to yourself to follow your own path.

i think it would help you to research aspec identities, especially aromantic ones, and talk to aromantic people about their experiences. you might not be aromantic! alloromantic people can still have no desire to be in romantic relationships, and that is perfectly fine and normal. and likewise aromantic and arospec people can want to be in romantic relationships despite their lack of romantic attraction. what i think researching this community will do for you is show you that romance is not the be all and end all of human beings. it is not a requirement for existing and being happy.

i think even progressive parents can fall into this trap of telling their kids "when you grow up and get a girlfriend or a boyfriend" or "when you get married to your spouse", and like, yea its great that they arent assuming you will be straight, but they are still placing the expectation on you to Want a romantic relationship and that you will have one no matter what. and that doesnt have to be the case!

your "happily ever after" does Not have to involve riding off into the sunset with your One True Love, it can in fact be a freezeframe of you and your best friends jumping into the air together and pulling silly faces!

idk this is. a long and rambling answer to what was a fairly simple question but. this ask hit me very close to home. i know how you feel. i felt Exactly the same way when i was your age. i felt wrong and broken and different and i didnt understand Why everyone was so excited about dating and kissing and relationships. so. im telling you what i wish someone would have told me.

take a deep breath. and let go. you dont need to have it all figured out Right Now. you can in fact just enjoy life as it happens! you dont have to know exactly what you want at this age. you can figure it out as you go. you have So Much Life ahead of you to learn and grow make mistakes and change your mind and figure things out and just. live.

the world wont end if you never want a romantic relationship. life will go on. you will find out what Really matters to you. and thats the beauty of being alive! please do not force yourself to do anything you dont Really want to do, just because thats what it feels like you're Supposed to do.

you are unique and beautiful and so so alive. you are doing just fine, and im so proud of you. you belong here.

you are loved.

[nonbinarygamzee]

i think it is very interesting how people pick and choose which characters to sympathize with on the basis of being reduced to plot devices or being in general captives to their narratives. and obviously you dont have to like or give a shit about every character to exist especially not in a work so simultaniously dense and flat as homestuck, but i have both an intense interest in sociology and too much experience with how this fandom treats people for liking the "wrong" fictional children not to be eternally preoccupied with what makes these distinctions. when the character is liked, they are allowed the grace of being kind of poorly written; its the fault of the author, or theres some significant nudging about of their story beats to recontextualize them into something more nuanced and whole. by contrast, if the character is generally agreed upon to be uncharismatic, their personality flaws are inflated and the flatness of their writing is either erased in preference of integrating those authorial decisions into the characters personality (regardless of how glaringly contradictory) or more concerningly becomes a means of shutting down criticism on the basis nobody should care about the unserious/unwritten ones anyways.

interestingly, with gamzee in particular, ive found that people tend to do one or the other moreso than both; dont get me wrong, theres still a plethora of moralizing over peoples sympathy for This particular fictional child going on, obviously, thats basically the reason i am trapped here. but because gamzee is accepted as not a character but a plot device or an obstacle, a lot of people arent invested enough in her potential personhood to insist that the (antithetical) ways that she behaves are proof of her being "iredeemable". but they still have a negative emotional response to people having investment in her character. it isnt relevant whether or not shes a bad person, or whether she is being puppeteered, because her functionality in the world she exists in is to propagate the story and stand in opposition to its protagonists.

however as interesting as i think that is and for all i do think it says about an individual persons approach to homestucks presentation, i also cant ignore that that dichotomy only really started to Exist once it became less in vogue to harrass people for their character allegiences. in the same way, it seems like we as a fandom cannot escape the trap of being really, really weird about tavros every couple of years. skirting around some of the more blatantly ridiculous stuff because i do actually value my sanity a little bit, he is definitely one of the characters i first noticed people using critique as a pretense for passing judgement on people who liked or cared about him. again basically coinciding wiyh when it stopped being generally socially acceptable to just openly laugh about what a pathetic loser the disabled kid being humorously abused onscreen was. when ableism started to become a topic people cared about and disabled people and fans who related to tavros began to provide more in depth critique of the writing choices, and of fans, namely fans who made very light of his disability or who had a general refusal to talk about vriska's(and others but you know why its about her here) ableism, there was a massive uptick in people feeling the need to talk unprompted about how boring and shitty tavros is, questioning how anybody could like him when hes so badly written, etc. all in ways that did not try very hard to hide the fact that the concern about character writing was disingenuous and only really served the purpose of shutting down critiques of ableism in the fandom and comic. obviously this all seems to stem from investment in canonicity but i do notice it informs even the choices of people who approach their engagement in a "my city now" type of way. because the presentation of these characters impacts the wider perception, which impacts the ways people will deconstruct them. and this is why the idea that "homestuck doesnt have a canon" is a lie being sold to you for the sake of shutting down investigations od authorial motivation. was not intended to be epilogue snark but thatd as good a way to end this nonsense as anything else.

[hyperrealisticblood]

thoughts on banwally. i've never played any of garten of banban so you are my only reference for what happens in those games and consequently, what makes banwally a compelling crackship.

buddy..... you have opened a can of worms you could have never prepared for

when or if I started shipping it: i actually have an exact date, may 29th of last year. everyone in my friends server is really into crackshipping so we like to share random ideas with each other and i posted them as an idea on that date. i have never been the same since

my thoughts: crackships are kind of hard to talk about in this context because there isnt anything canon to go off but ill do my best. when welcome home first started gaining traction i saw a lot of people saying "this is what good mascot horror looks like" (whether or not wh even counts as mascot horror is. debatable.) so me associating banban and wally with each other was already a thing before i started shipping them. at some point i realized they both have a lot in common (monotone voices, often associated with devil imagery, passive most of the time but gets a little Silly with it sometimes) and i was like woah.... they should kiss. again a lot of my thoughts surrounding them are based in headcanon so im struggling to talk about them in a way that doesnt make me sound fucking insane BUT im a sucker for pessimist/optimist ships and they very much fit that to me. i think they balance each other out in a way, wally is a bright spot in the Endless Misery banban deals with on a daily basis, and banban is pretty logical and grounded which levels out wallys spacey-ness. theyre very much a jessica and roger rabbit "he makes me laugh" type of deal but with the fun addition of identity issues and whatever the fuck wallys deal is

what makes me happy about them: the fact that theyre both freaks of nature (banban is a weird clone manmade abomination thing, wally is either straight up an eldritch entity or a manmade puppet with eldritch qualities) is another thing they have in common to me, so i think theyd be accepting of each others weird traits because they know what its like. banban doesnt give a fuck that wally is up to some scp shit, he might as well live in the scp containment facility. theres a kingdom run by a giant kangaroo woman with a magic scepter who is in charge of keeping a bunch of baby demons and the father(?) of those baby demons trapped in her pouch or else the entire kingdom will be destroyed. he has seen weirder. banban wouldnt just love wally because hes handsome and hes nice to people, he loves all of his weird traits too because they arent even weird to him.

what makes me sad about them: they lend themselves pretty well to angst (i hate that word but idk a better one to describe this) because theyre both from horror media, and i like to pelt my favorite characters with hammers so >:) my friends and i (same friends who got me into crackshipping) have a group rp thing going on, and theres a mini arc going on right now based on the fact that banban got SUPER fucked up trying to fight sir dadadoo and his army. wally wants banban to leave the kindergarten because of how dangerous it is, he wants him to live in home where he doesnt need to fear for his life all the time. but despite all the horrors he has to put up with, banban doesnt want to leave everyone in the underground behind. theyre still his friends, and he wants to protect them. as much as wally wants him to be safe, he understands where hes coming from because he wouldnt want to leave his friends behind either. this leaves him feeling really conflicted and confused, and the homewarming update taught us that wally doesnt do well with those kinds of feelings. just some thoughts for yall <3

things done in fanfic that annoys me: nobody except me would wanna write fanfic about them and im too depressed slash lazy to actually write anything so. uh

things I look for in fanfic: see above

my kinks: size difference where the top is the smaller one i have no such things. i am a man of the lord.

who i’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: wallaby (wally/barnaby) is pretty epic so if that ends up being canon i wouldnt be mad lmao. ive also been wondering if wally might end up whoever "w" is (the awayfrompryingeyes.net mod) because clown said theres another ship that will be canon but that he cant talk about because its inherently a spoiler somehow, id be fine with that too. not much to say about banban because gobb doesnt do romance aside from whatever the fuck nabnab and nabnaleena have going on

my happily ever after for them: things finally calm down at the kindergarten to a point where banban feels comfortable leaving to be with wally, and whatever the hell is going on with home also calms down. banban would still visit the others obviously (i think he would introduce some of them to wallys friends, barnaby and bittergiggle would get along super well i think) but he can finally be somewhere where he isnt constantly fearing for his life :]

uhh tldr dont say "what if i shipped this" as a joke. it will become no longer a joke and you will write like a million words about two characters from entirely different media who have never met and never will meet. worst mistake of my life

[baby-yaga]

i totally get why art that seems "shock for shock-sake" is a turn off for some people. it honestly wasnt until earlier this year, after i remembered some really fucked up shit that happened to me, that i realized why i am so drawn to that kind of thing.

making a work that is shocking to be shocking isnt easy--decent writing, composition, themes, those all still apply. and then, theres the added challenge of writing about topics that are ~controversial~

i think the immediate thing that comes to mind is rape revenge, one of my favorite horror subgenres. one of my favorite rape revenge movies is i spit on your grave, the 2010 remake of the 1978 film. the original is, by todays standards, much more tame. the attack is far less brutal, the murders are less graphic, even the scenery [ connecticut in spring, as opposed to the remakes setting of louisiana in fall ] is much more green and vibrant, and more pleasant to look at in my opinion. i think both of these films have a reputation for being shlock--exploitative, misogynistic, torture-porn. and i dont even think they arent those things [ and the victim being a rich white woman, her attackers impoverished white men. these films are very classist in my opinion ].

rape revenge is a very controversial genre, made even more so by the fact that many of the most well known films are written and directed by men [ i spit on your grave, the original and its remake, same of the last house of the left and its remake, in fact female writers and directors are relatively new to this subgenre ]

if id been asked earlier this year, "what is it about this genre that you find so compelling?" i wouldve struggled to answer. i think the best i couldve come up with is something like, "catharsis." and i do find these films cathartic. they are tense and brutal, and at the end, when the bad guys have died their grotesque deaths, unable to harm anyone anymore, i breathe a sigh of relief. but the truth is, i like that they make people uncomfortable.

to me, these pieces of work existing, even though i havent made any of these works myself, are my own revenge. i want people to watch them, and i do get offended when someone finds them morally wrong. in the evilest parts of my soul i want to force people to watch these devastating, "pointless", "shocking-for-shocks-sake" films and feel even a fraction of what i do. for even a moment, feel as helpless, trapped, terrified, hurt, disoriented, enraged, and humiliated as i do. yes, i want people to be shocked. i want them to be shocked because i want them to feel it. i want their hearts and minds, souls and bodies to be as tainted as mine, even if its just a little bit. i want people to be as traumatized as i am.

i understand this isnt rational. for one thing, i am far from the only rape victim in the world. im not even the only childhood rape victim in the world. im not even the only victim of csam/sex trafficking victim in the world. im not the only person whos family had a "weird uncle", that everyone, even his victims, refused to acknowledge what he was. im not the only victim of sexual harassment and stalking. im just one of perhaps millions, a victim of all of those things. there are perhaps thousands of people with a history nearly identical to mine. but i dont care. i want them to hurt too.

art is supposed to make you feel something. its often said that art is a conversation between you and the artist. how do you feel when the artist wants to abuse you? how do you feel when the artist, knowing nothing of your own history, shows you the ugliest, most rancid, most infected parts of themselves, and they ask you to look?

look at me. look at what i am missing. look at how i am mangled. look at how i am ugly. i am not a palatable victim. i wasnt saved from abuse. the fbi never broke in while i was being photographed or molested and saved me from my fate. the worst happened. and it happened again, and again, and again and no one noticed, and no one saved me. i didnt even save myself. i didnt move away from it all, abandon everyone id ever known, and change my identity like i desperately wanted when i was a teenager. im broke, and i still live within a 1 mile radius of where all the worst things in my life happened to me. i live just 2 blocks away from where i was trafficked and used to make csam. i live just 2 houses down from where i was groomed and repeatedly raped by my best friends dad. im not there anymore, in the sense that years have passed, and i am an adult now. but i still live here, still see his house every day, still see the tree in front of the house where i was nearly drowned to keep me quiet and afraid.

yeah, i want the art i make to shock you. i dont think i have anything else to say.

[mountain-lion-gremlin]

So yes, im coming up on the end of my detox. During this time, ive actually learned a LOT because simply, im not glued to my phone 24/7.

Society pushes this idea that we NEED phones. That without your portable dopamine box you arent cool, or normal, or whatever the hell they choose to say.

Ive found clarity in my life. Ive focused more on my witchcraft and learning the craft itself. Ive danced in the rain and felt the rhythm of the earth, its heart beating beneath my feet. Ive started to learn Finnish even better than before, and my studies on homework have become so much easier because im not as distracted.

If it was up to me, i would never go back to being glued to my dopamine box. But...

If anyone who is following me and knows of my Amino, Ive been gone from it for awhile now. I worry that certain rules arent being enforced, or its becoming a hateful place. I left it in the hands of my staff, of course, but i still worry...

But regardless, Ill see if I can get an app that allows me to run mobile apps on my computer. I dont want to go back to using my phone unless i have to.

(Keep reading if you wanna see what I have to say about shapeshifting and stuff. I dont want this post to be eons of scrolling to those who dont want to read about it.)

Now, onto the important stuff that people might be asking me.

"Rio, did you fully m-shift and achieve your goals of shifting???" Well... no. Sadly.

Life has been really hectic, so Ive been focusing on the important, human stuff in my life, and have been struggling with balancing the important, animal stuff in my life. Im not going to lie, its easier to do now than it was before, but I still have to put effort into it.

With p-shifting, well... recently Ive been reading a lot of hate on p-shifting in general, how its wrong, how much actual stigma surrounds it, and im in a ditch when it comes to believing it will actually happen. Ive watered down my beliefs so many times for others online recently, that im questioning that they are true.

I know that they arent true. But, I know for a fact that even if I never p-shift, I will still be happy being who I am. Its a constant itch, and constant scratch to be who I really am, but I honestly believe that even if I never do p-shift, I will never stop being here, being a shifter and being happy.

In the end thats all its really about, seriously. Arent we just trying to be happy with ourselves, our identity, our lives? It hurts to even go a step outside of the shifting community, and see hours and hours of people talking about how horrible it is, how manipulative, how impossible it is. It makes me want to hide again in my little bubble and forget I ever saw it.

But it brings a sort of... clarity I guess? Many people who have never been apart of the community or have even ventured in will say "its impossible to do".

People who have been hurt, or have seen the hurt caused by misinformation and misguidance of shapeshifting will almost always say "p-shifting is manipulative, horrible, the people within it are blah blah blah blah blah...."

People who are apart of it but havent p-shifted will say "Ive seen so many success stories, Ive even seen my own progress with it and im really happy" And people who have shifted... well they either disappear quite quickly, or their stories are lost to deaf ears.

And after years and years of feeling like I have to fight against these people, show how I am, show the truth and understand it all... I feel domesticated by the reality that is always, constantly shoved in my face.

Nobody cares. Im trapped within society and I cant escape. I will never be free. I will never, ever be my animal. I am delusional for even believing it.

vitut.

I know that currently in my life, I am where I am. I cannot change it, because I am not old enough to. I know that I have and must make do with what I have, instead of wishing for things I do not have. Cougars are adaptable, we are survivors and change with our enviornment.

There will ALWAYS be time to be who I am. There will always be chance after chance after chance for me, I just have to grab it.

And ive noticed that I no longer have to force every single m-shift. It feels like just thinking about it, about mountain lions causes a shift. Ive gotten so comfortable in my living situation ive been vocalizing as my animal, jumping around on all fours and feeling like my animal.

Sometimes I worry that Ive become so obsessed with trying to m-shift that Ive forgotten that theres still more beyond it. While writing this post, I feel... excited for my future. I feel like p-shifting can happen to me. I feel like I am almost close to permanently m-shifting.

And let me tell you a little secret about m-shifting.

(There is no trigger for when you permanently m-shift. There is no way to actually know by just reading what others say it feels like. There is no actual way to do it.)

Permanently m-shifting to me, simply feels like a comfortableness with my animal. It feels safe, and okay to be who I am. And personally for me, after years of m-shifting, trust is what has brought me to where I am. (This might not be the case for everyone lol, figure out whats going on with yourself instead of using what I say to be the end all for you and your problems!) I was honestly afraid of my other side. That it was dangerous, wild, would hurt someone. I was also afraid that I would never actually get here and do this, because my mental shifts arent as strong or frequent as others. I was also afraid that it wouldnt work. So, so afraid that I would mess up and fail.

But I've learnt that... I am in control of myself. And being an animal IS myself. I have the control to be safe, and not harm others. We all do. Its an idea that has been presented to us through media, stigma, ableism and society itself. We always talk of people "losing control" or "flying off the handle". Werewolves are seen as beings who will rip your face off if they get mad.

We arent like that, you know that, right? I had to trust that I would be in control of my m-shifts. And even if my control has slipped, (such as when I had an m-flare in the middle of gym class) I was able to quickly recover because it wasnt appropriate at school to start running on all fours and hiding beneath the bleachers.

Ive also learnt that no, you cannot fail while m-shifting. There is no right or wrong way to m-shift. There is no way to fail an m-shift. M-shifting is just allowing yourself to be more animal-like, allowing your animal to be safe and comfortable with itself. Its complicated to explain the connection between our animal selves, and our human selves, but the most basic (not too accurate) way to explain it is that we are each other. You are your animal, and your animal is you. As you m-shift more this makes more sense, and you find your own meaning to what your connection, and your animal's connection is.

Regardless, even if I took breaks. Even if I wasnt dedicated, or spent all of my time m-shifting. I still am getting closer. What matters is the fact that you still care about it, and will do it when you can. Its unrealistic to believe someone could constantly be m-shifting actively, most circumstances make it very hard to do so. (Especially mine. I have divorced houses, 2 AP classes im taking, problematic siblings, responsibilities...)

It feels like learning a new language in a sense. Like, to m-shift is to constantly m-shift. To learn a new language is to constantly immerse yourself in it. Well... we cant really do that, so instead we go with short bursts of doing this, with interspersed passive learning, or attempting to m-shift when we can.

And nobody is barred from m-shifting. Let me let you know. NOBODY IS BARRED FROM M-SHIFTING!! Some people I know feel stuck, like they cannot m-shift. That its only involuntary. Listen. Listen listen listen.

There are many different ways to m-shift. So many!! Lots of people say "I cant meditate, and so ill never m-shift." Thats NOT true. Thats not true. I literally cant meditate lol.

And its not really attempting to voluntarily force a shift using triggers and stuff. I just think about it and try to feel more immersed in my senses, allow my perspective of life to shift more animal-like. AND, m-shifts do NOT have to be large, explosive things that change your whole reality and how you think and you want to crawl on all fours and you feel yourself p-shifting and fur-

Nah nah nah. Most shifts people will experience, at least how i know it, will be small, tiny shifts that you most likely wont notice unless you pay attention to it. Even if you arent trying to m-shift in the moment, even thinking about it may cause you to fall into a light shift. You do not need to have very impactful m-shifts to m-shift.

And I wont lie, my friend @dakotathewolf has helped me a lot, even with the endless ramblings on both ends (lol) I feel like we have both grown as people and understand more because of what we have taught each other.

I hope this helps you, dakota, along with anyone else who needs it.

[specksizedgoddess]

Cruelty ahead.

There’s so many household objects I could use to destroy you. I think about stapling you to the wall—once, twice, three or four times of me putting a puncture hole in you the diameter of your arm just for good measure. Or I could impale you on a thumbtack, watch you writhe as gravity pulls you further onto the widening point and away from freedom.

Don’t even get me started on my kitchen. I could dissect you on my cutting board or throw you in the microwave and send you for a spin. You wouldn’t last more than a few seconds. I could drop you in a blender and watch you plead and scramble up the impossible walls before I finally press a button and let the blades do the easy work of converting your being into messy parts.

So many good options. But if I ever really had the chance I think I’d pass all of those options by and swallow you whole. No fanfare, no toying with you or crushing you in my teeth, just you sliding inescapably down into my trash compactor with a boring gulp. After all, we don’t want you unconscious or bleeding out before the fun even begins. You should be alive and fully aware for the descent. Pulled into the vacuum of my throat. No way but down. Trapped in darkness, nothing but the eager gurgling down below to situate you. Listen to it get louder and louder as you’re squeezed down my hot, slick throat, knowing that when you’re deposited unceremoniously into my hungry stomach, you’ll have no choice but to learn intimately how it feels to dissolve.

How badly does it sting? How quickly does it overwhelm you, and how much longer will you still digest after you can no longer take it with your mind intact?

The thing is, you don’t even warrant my aggression or my creativity. And I certainly don’t want to clean up the pathetic mess you’d leave behind if I used some kind of tool on you. So let’s solve a few problems at once. As soon as I swallow you, which is such an easy action I do it all the time without thinking anything of it, then I can forget all about you. In fact, you’re nobody’s problem. My body will take up the effortless, thoughtless work of rendering you down to nothing. And you won’t make a fucking mess all over the place.

How pathetic, at your size you’re not even a snack, not even padding. You’re hardly energy. You’ll burn up inside me and be forgotten to the world before you’re even gone. I’d send you down just for the sick pleasure of knowing it would ruin you, then move on to doing something more worthwhile with my day.

—🌙

AASHHHAGGGGDDGA TTHAVDA FFSHDF FUCK OHSS MY GODSBD <3323

TTAHSGDABSVTHANK YOU

Squirming eagerly as you examine me, so many ideas... so many ways to leave me attatched brutally to a wall, dissected, blended, ahhihilated~ its almost like a game of how easily you could get rid of me... but why waste energy on a bug? Why make a mess with it's body when you can get rid of it so, so effortlessly...

Moaning as your lips part, breath washing over me... immediately swallowed and plunged down your throat... no teasing or foreplay, those are for people! People who matter, who arent absolute worthless little specks- all you have to do is swallow and forget.

Ffucckahfhhs fuck I need to be yours. I need to be ended by someone who thinks I'm worthless, who couldnt care less about my feelings.... I need to be a blushing, eager mess, practically cumming whats left of my little brains out... slowly digesting in your acid while you forget about me...... nobody's problem <33