#its about seeing yourself in the media in a negative light that nobody else cares about

[bread-that-draws]

Sorry not to be insane about fictional characters again but like. Nimona’s big “monster” scene. How she realizes nothing has changed. How she discovers her “allies” were willing to turn on her the moment there was a reason to do so. How her roar is an anguished scream. How something as simple as a kids commercial about slaying monsters, something nobody else even bats an eye at, causes so much pain. How what she turns into is so unlike her usual shifting. How the director was ready to destroy innocent people to get rid of her. How it didn’t matter to the director if innocent people got hurt just to get rid of this “threat”. How the director, just as capable as hurting people, isn’t the one demonized. How this moment has been quietly building up the whole movie, even though she brushes it off, even though she pretends not to care (how she seeks out a supposed murderer because he may understand her, how an arrow to the leg isn’t a big deal to her, how she plays up the “monster” stereotype but hates being called one, how her first breaking point is a little girl showing the same generational hate that Gloreth showed, how she always explained what she was as Nimona). How done with all of it she is. How she gives up. “I see you”.

How Nimona is such a fucking queer story that it makes me explode

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

from an anon, about parents and school

(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)

here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.

i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).

i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?

its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.

they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.

ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.

short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."

just kidding XD

If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.

Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD

I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?

Nope.

I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?

Woo, boy.

This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.

Hello?

You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???

(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)

Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.

The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.

You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.

I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.

But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD

Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".

The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.

And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).

Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.

[julietandcinderellavocaloid]

Determined Alice Chapter 2

Sometimes, being an Alice left Meiko feeling invisible. Cinderellas were expected to be leaders and path makers, and Juliets were expected to be servants and slaves. Alices were . . . just there.

Meiko knew she couldn't complain too much, however. Having a cerulean butterfly tattooed on her left wrist instead of a blood rose meant she had the basic human rights most Juliets were denied. On the other hand, having that same cerulean butterfly tattoo instead of a silver crown meant Meiko would never have the opportunities available to her that were practically gift wrapped for a Cinderella.

News that had been circulating all over the media this past week didn't help. Some sources labelled this as the war between Cinderellas and Juliets. Nobody talked about the Alices. It seemed nobody cared. Alices were the middle class. As far as anyone who wasn't an Alice was concerned, they didn't fit anywhere in all of this.

Of course, such thinking was dead wrong. Alices had been in play long before anyone so much as heard about these so-called Thorns. Nobody suspected an Alice, leaving the Alices to come and go as they pleased.

Meiko's second cousin Teto, when spent the past year spying through the Cinderella Academy undetected by even the master of the school Opera Tonio himself, was a perfect example of this.

It was why Meiko didn't let the looks anyone gave her as she took her seat in the hovercraft get to her. Or at least that was what she told herself. She didn't want to admit that she was too impressed with the interior of the hovercraft to think about much else.

This was the kind of hovercraft seen in space war movies. Unlike most hovercrafts, which relied on autopilot to get its passengers to the destination coordinates punched in, this one was built for potential battle and thus driven by a pilot. Others would man additional aspects of the craft, such as communications and weapons. Back in the day, these were the types of hovercrafts the military utilized. Now only the secret service had these. The secret service, and anyone else who knew how and where to get their grubby hands on them.

Big Al and Rei, his hand-selected second-in-command, took their seats in the front. Rinto took over communications. Hio and Meiko sat in the weapons section although the weapons were deactivated for this mission, Hio preparing them just in case they needed to be used and Meiko gauging fuel efficiency.

Wanting to prove herself, Meiko ran through the checklist given to her in preparation for takeoff. When Hio tried to help, she growled at him to back off. The boy stared at her with his wide eyes.

"We're a team, Meiko," he whispered as to not be overheard by the others. "There's nothing wrong with letting me help you."

"As if I'm going to give you the chance to tell Big Al that you had to help me run through my own station," Meiko snarled. "I got this."

"Meiko, you've never done this before. Nobody is going to look down on you if you let me help you—"

"I got this!" Meiko snapped before turning away and running through everything twice more. It looked as if everything was properly set up. She didn't need Hio making her, the lone woman on the team, look as if she was the only one who didn't know what was going on.

"System check," Big Al announced as he started the engine. "Coordinates?"

Rei. "Check."

"Communications?"

Rinto. "Check."

"Weapons?"

Hio. "Offline."

"Efficiency."

Meiko sounded proud as she announced, "Check."

"Are you sure?"

Gritting her teeth, Meiko had to keep from shouting, "How dare you question me and not the men!"

"Check," was what she said instead.

"Then we are ready to launch." Big Al flipped a few switches. "Everyone, buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ascension."

Meiko buckled her seatbelt and leaned back in her chair. The flight to the Capital would take a couple of hours. Until then, it was only a matter of remaining calm and showing these men that she was just as capable as they.

For the most part, the flight was uneventful. Their fellow legion flew right beside them. The others laughed and joked as they hurled through the air at over three hundred miles an hour. Meiko kept to herself. Considering the guys didn't try talking to her or anything of the sort, keeping to herself wasn't that hard.

All the while, Big Al ignored the others as he focused on the flight ahead. Not having anywhere better to look, Meiko stared over his shoulder through the window. The cover of endless night should keep them well-hidden from those on the ground below.

As for other aircrafts, that's what prayer was for.

"I don't like this," Rei said after half an hour. "It's quiet. Too quiet. I feel like something should have happened by now. Even just a minor hiccup would be more reassuring than this stillness we've been experiencing since liftoff."

"Agreed," Big Al muttered, "but we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, Kagene."

I would be looking all the gift horses in the mouth. Meiko double checked her station. No change. That was more than fine. She wasn't entirely sure what to do if something needed to be fixed anyway.

The flight grew to be so boring, Meiko wished she had followed Hio's example and brought something with her. That beanpole had a book on him. Not a tablet. An actual book. As in a large-leather-bound-stack-of-paper-with-words-printed-with-ink-onto-the-pages book.

As rare as tablets were in Meiko's hometown, physical books were rarer. And this fool had the nerve to bring one with him on a potentially dangerous mission. Meiko tried not to stare, both at awe at such a device and at how stupid she thought Hio was.

She must have not restrained herself well enough though. Hio caught her staring and asked, "Do you want to look at it?"

Yes. "No," Meiko spat, committing herself to not looking at the boy for the rest of the flight.

That newfound commitment only lasted for ten minutes.

"Radar is picking up another craft," Rei announced. He audibly swallowed. "It's coming this way."

"Commercial?" Big Al questioned.

"Negative," Rei replied. "I studied all flight schedules the night before. This wasn't on the list. Besides, it's approaching far too quickly for its main purpose to be carrying citizens."

Big Al cursed. "Rinto, has the first legion picked up on the signal?"

"As a matter of fact, they just messaged me about it." Rinto adjusted the glasses on his nose. "Arls thinks we should contact them, tell them we're carrying supplies to the Capital."

"Just what I was thinking."

For a moment, Rinto typed on his keyboard. It must have been getting serious, for Rinto pulled a headset on and began speaking softly into the microphone. In a matter of seconds, his words were getting quicker and more urgent.

Pulling the microphone away, Rinto said, "Big Al, Arls's craft has been denied contact with this oncoming ship. Orders?"

"Try contacting it yourself."

Not even a minute later. "Connection denied."

Big Al swore again. "I don't think these guys are going to ask questions before they begin shooting. Kagene, how close are they?"

"Too close for comfort, sir."

"Looks like we're going to have to get our hands dirty for this one. Loid, Sakine, fire up the weapons. If our new friends are looking for a fight, then they are going to get one."

Finally, something to do. Meiko turned her attention towards her station and began flipping the necessary switches. Lights lit. Buttons blinked. Numbers flashed on display. Meiko gripped the lever to pull it down.

It didn't budge.

What the hell?

Meiko kept pulling, but the lever wasn't going anywhere.

Great. Not only was she the one person the others thought needed help to do her job, but she couldn't even pull the freaking lever down as well. She could already hear the men crackling at what a weak woman she was.

"Systems online, sir," Hio announced to the fleet.

"Efficiency?" Big Al questioned.

No matter how hard Meiko pulled the lever, it didn't move in the slightest. Father of many ugly and stupid children! "Anyone got any oil?"

Although he spoke at normal volume, there was still a lot of anger in Big Al's words as if he yelled at her. "You mean to tell me you didn't wiggle the lever before takeoff?"

Meiko furrowed her brows. Her words sounded dumber to her than they had to sound for everyone else. "I was supposed to?"

If there was one thing Big Al did as if it were an artform, it was swear. He further displayed that talent before snapping at Meiko, "These ships are at least a decade old, Sakine! We have to make sure nothing rusted into place before our lives depend on the functionality of those same levers. Didn't anyone tell you that?!"

Face burning hot, Meiko returned to the lever and tried to pull it. Nothing. That sucker was stuck good, all right.

"Arls is awaiting your command," Rinto supplied, a sweat breaking out on his forehead.

"Fire at will," Big Al replied. "As for us, we have a bit of a situation here."

"Let me help," Hio said, getting up and walking towards Meiko's station.

Meiko bared her teeth. "I got it!"

"No, you don't."

"Leave me alone, Loid!"

"Meiko, now isn't the time—"

"I said leave me alone!"

"Sweet mother of baby Jesus! Get out of my path!" Big Al bolted from the pilot's seat and stalked towards the section. After literally pushing Meiko and Hio out of the way, he wrapped his meaty hands around the lever and forced it down with a mighty grunt.

Then things began flashing that Meiko was sure weren't supposed to be flashing.

"You said our efficiency was in order!" he roared at Meiko.

Gritting her teeth, Meiko did not allow herself to cower. "According to the numbers, everything was exactly where it needed to be."

Big Al looked at the display before turning back to Meiko. "Yes, our takeoff and flight fuel is working splendidly, but did it ever occur to you to switch to the weapons tank to see how our energy beams were doing?"

Oh.

"Your job was simple," Big Al growled. "Make sure everything was in order, and make sure there was an order for everything. How do you screw up this badly?!"

Snarling herself, Meiko spat, "How was I supposed to know all these rules about these crafts unless someone told me?"

"Ask someone to walk you through it. For the love of God, Sakine, didn't anyone offer to help?"

Meiko was more grateful than she cared to admit that Hio opted to keep his mouth shut. She had to have been set up. There was no other reason everyone but she, the woman, had a section that worked perfectly.

Before another word could be said, everyone cried out as the craft violently jerked to the side. It corrected itself after half a moment, but the ride was no longer as smooth. Nobody needed to be told what had just happened.

"Rei," Big Al began, "you're in charge until I get back. Hio, fire only if you know for sure you will hit a target. Sakine and I are going to the belly of the craft to see if we can load up the emergency guns."

Although she heard what Big Al said, Meiko still questioned, "What?"

"You heard me, Sakine." Big Al began walking, not even turning around to make sure she would follow. "It's your fault we're in this tight situation. Now I'm going to show you one of the ways you can fix your mistake."

Figuring it would be better to swallow her pride and at least try to correct her screw up, Meiko followed Big Al out of the control room and down to the generator. It was warmer down there than where they had come from, but Meiko didn't take off her coat even as Big Al did. She kept her arms crossed over her chest, eyes boring holes into the back of her superior's head.

Instead of reprimanding her further, as she expected him to, Big Al showed Meiko where the emergency generator for weapons was and how to activate it. "This will give Hio more resources for taking down anyone who's after us. However, these guns are not as powerful as the main source, so next time, make sure that's working before takeoff."

Meiko didn't respond. She only kept her arms tight across her chest. As if we both don't know you're going to talk to Mikuo to make sure there is no next time.

"Do you understand, Sakine?"

Trying not to growl, Meiko replied, "Yes, sir."

Before more could be said, the craft jerked again. This time Big Al and Meiko were both thrown to the ground. Meiko's head collided with one of the pipes, and she felt the vibration from her skull to her jaw down her chest. Ringing echoed in her ears for only a moment. She tasted blood where her teeth slammed down on her unsuspecting tongue.

Big Al pushed himself to his feet and simply ordered, "We need to get back now."

Then he did something strange. Leaning forward, Big Al offered his hand to help Meiko up.

Insulted, Meiko ignored his hand as she pushed herself to her feet. She wobbled for a moment, quickly pulling away from Big Al when he again reached out to wrap his hand around her arm. Although she wouldn't admit it, she was grateful Big Al waited till she regained her footing before he began stalking back to where the others were.

"Situation?" he barked as he and Meiko stepped inside.

Before anyone could answer, another shot from the attacking ship fired. Rei jerked the craft out of the way, but he didn't act fast enough. The side was hit, and fire and smoke began to rise.

"This is bad," Rei muttered, saying what was undoubtedly on everyone's mind.

Big Al opened his mouth to speak, but then he froze. Meiko looked in the direction his eyes were trained, and she froze too. She felt everyone else follow their example.

A missile whizzed past them, not coming close enough to touch the already damaged craft. Not that it mattered. Their craft wasn't the target.

Feeling to be trapped in slow motion, Meiko watched the missile hit the other legion, sending the main engine into a fiery explosion.

"We've been hit! WE'VE BEEN HIT!" cried the voice from Rinto's headset, which Meiko heard despite being over six feet away from Rinto. Then there was static. Then nothing.

They all watched the other hovercraft fall from the sky like a dead bird. Although they had already flown past the crash site by the time the other craft hit the ground, everyone still heard and felt the boom of their fellow comrades meeting the earth. It wasn't until Rei, the first to recover, yanked their craft out of the path of another oncoming missile, saving them by the skin of their teeth.

Everyone got to work. Big Al returned to his station and ordered Rinto to try hailing the other Fighter craft again. He continued letting Rei, whose reflexes were better than the older man's, pilot the craft. Hio shot at the enemy craft, but it was too big for his energy beams to do much damage.

Meiko, all the while, had nothing to do. Her job was to monitor everything. Monitor things that didn't seem to need it. There was nothing for her to do save sit and watch while the men took all the action. Hers was the most pointless job one could be assigned.

Watching as Hio tried to shoot their target out of the sky, Meiko got an idea. Something of that size would react no differently to a human stepping on a small, round rock. However, no matter the size, all crafts relied on electricity to get from point A to point B.

With that thought, Meiko jumped to her feet and bolted out of the control room, ignoring Big Al's shouting questions such as what the hell was she thinking.

If there was one thing Meiko did perfectly every time without fail, it was keep weapons hidden on her person. Daggers were strapped to her biceps and thighs, small knives were tucked into her sleeves just above the wrist, and there was even a switchblade hidden between her breasts. She could reach all of them and stab her unknowing opponent in a matter of seconds. Yet what she needed wasn't a blade. What she needed was an electro orb, which was conveniently tucked inside her inner coat pocket.

One other thing Meiko did right was check the weapons on board long before liftoff. Even though she had no plans to use any of them, since this mission did not require her to fight or defend herself or anything similar, she wanted to know where they were just in case. This was that just in case, and it took Meiko only a minute to retrieve the bazooka. Along with it she picked up and slung on a backpack. She didn't need it, but she wasn't dumb enough to break all the rules.

Feet planted firmly onto the floor, Meiko pushed the button to open the hovercraft. The large ramp began to descend while they still flew through the air, an enemy craft not far behind. The incoming wind whipped through Meiko's hair and coat, and she had to squint from the bitter cold air rushing into the craft and biting her skin and piercing her eyes.

With the door now open, Meiko got a clear view of the war craft right behind them. She saw the missiles launched their way. When another was fired and Rei swerved to avoid it, Meiko stumbled and desperately tried to regain her footing. Swearing, Meiko used her free hand to reach out and steady herself against the wall. She needed to act fast so she could close the door again without falling out of the hovercraft like an idiot.

Meiko slid the electro orb into the bazooka and aimed. It was as she was about to fire someone grabbed her shoulder and threw her onto the ground.

"What do you think you're doing, Sakine?!" Big Al roared as he stood over her. "You abandoned your station in a time of crisis! Do you have any idea what's in store for cowards who run away when their team is in danger?"

"I'm not running away!" Meiko argued as she pushed herself onto her knees. "I was going to take out the enemy craft until someone interrupted me."

"An electro orb is not going to work against something as big as that," Big Al sneered, and Meiko wondered how he knew she had an electro orb on her. "That thing is bound to have at least three generators; even if you kill the main power and two generators, odds are the thing will still be up, running, and coming at us with an even more aggressive approach now that you showed them what you can do. Firing that would only make things worse for us, not help us."

"You wouldn't be saying that if it was Rei or Hio here."

"Precisely, because neither of them would be as stupid as you to try to act on their own."

A retort was on Meiko's tongue, but it was lost when the enemy craft fired again and Rei swerved to avoid it. However, he didn't swerve enough, and the missile clipped the side of their craft. The force was enough to send the whole thing sideways as it violently jerked up and down from the blast.

There was no hope for Meiko to regain her footing as second time, and Big Al was even less balanced than she. Both were thrown into the air. Big Al flew out of the opening of the craft first, and Meiko, try as she might to hold on to the smooth floor, slid out to follow.

With no time to think, Meiko activated her parachute, grateful she decided to don a backpack after all. She was jerked yet again as it expanded and dramatically slowed her descent, but the journey downwards was otherwise smooth. An ache forming in her chest, Meiko watched as her craft flew away, the enemy craft not far behind.

[marshmallowprotection]

hello!! thank you for taking the time to writing out that entire message, it means a lot to me! ive been nervous to ask for someone else’s opinion tbh sldjfskdf we started dating when i was 15 and she was 19, so yeah. i feel like it’s important to clarify though that ive never met her irl (she does have my address though because she’s sent me gifts and letters. ) and she hasn’t like,, taken advantage of me in a sexual way. unless v infrequent masturbation jokes nd references to sexual media count lmao. she’s never talked abt anything more than making out and never sent me any explicit images / asked me for anything in that direction tho.

so i kinda feel like grooming or abuse is too heavy of a term?? i know im not fully comfortable around her anymore though. i dunno, i don’t have a lot of friends nd she’s like one of two people i talk to daily so that might cloud my judgement. she was just really nice when i had no one else to talk to ig so its hard to think of her in a light that’s too negative. like the idea that she consciously groomed me or smth doesn’t feel like smth she would do.

but she’s always had a tendency to talk about problems that feel way too big for me to handle (while ignoring any of my problems) and has told me stuff like that im the only reason shes still alive rn which really freaked me out at the time but yeh,,, also she used to joke that she would get ‘written a callout about on tumblr’ if ppl knew we were dating and never speaks about the fact that we’re together in public so i think that’s,, not the best sign lmao.

aaa it’s alright if you dont respond to this btw :’)!! i know im dumping a lot of text on you. you aren’t obligated to respond since you’re just a stranger on the internet. ive honestly been thinking about breaking things of for like 2 months cause all i feel for her anymore is platonic and vague discomfort, im just scared she’ll hurt herself or get really upset haha but i think ill go through with it soon, i just have to think of how to word it to her ;; - submission

Grooming is when someone older than you builds a relationship, trust, and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit, and abuse them. I don’t throw around words unless I have a sinking suspicion in my gut. You don’t have to be in physical contact with someone for you to manipulated or deceived. I’m concerned that she has your address but there are ways to protect yourself in the event of that. 

It doesn’t have to be inherently sexual. 

That’s how young people are often manipulated. 

It starts out with someone talking to you about things that you enjoy and it just keeps growing and growing into something where someone tries to pin you back with, “Oh, well... you like this character... would you enjoy them doing [explicit sexual thing here]?” 

The boundary lines are very thin, and it can be very dangerous if you’re not careful with what you do. 

Look, she’s ignoring everything that you want to talk about. She speaks over you and changes the subject. It’s about her, her, her, and her. Nothing else. That is a real shitty tactic. Literally, everything I heard before rubbed me the wrong way & now I know that there are more red flags here than I can count. She’s trying to pin you down and push you into a corner where you’re worried about her even at your expense. She wants you to feel like you have to stay with her or she’ll just die. 

She goes over your head. She belittles you, and she guilt-trips and gas-lights you to make you think if you go against her feelings, she’ll harm herself. I can see things escalating if it goes on any further from this point. 

She has proven that she knows that she’s wrong, and she thinks it’s funny to joke about how she would get into trouble if people knew. She’s trying to make you normalize this kind of relationship by slowly back you into this corner and I really don’t want that for you, anon, I don’t want that for anyone. 

You are not responsible for whatever she does. She wants you to feel ashamed and trapped. She wants you to stay with her and she’s trying to scare you into doing it. She wants power and control. I know people like this personally and I can say with certainty that they do not have your best interest at heart, they are only looking out for themselves. 

I sincerely say. You owe her nothing at all. You are not to fault for anything that she does to herself. You don’t even owe an explanation. I implore you to cut it off as soon as you can, tell her straight up that you don’t want to do this anymore and exit the chats, block her and leave. 

I would say to consider informing adults or authorities of this because I really do fear that she’ll continue to hurt other young people. Nobody will be angry with you for that. You’re young, and you’re not the one at fault here for anything. You are the victim, you are the survivor. 

If you need resource links or helplines, don’t hesitate to message me privately or here, and I’ll try to help you find what I can. 

[kob131]

https://caddeter.tumblr.com/post/182525513250/imagine-being-so-fucking-stupid-that-you-decide-to

Well now, let’s give this a REAL stress test huh?

Yeah, no shit they blocked you, all you’ve done is proven that you have an I.Q. score that needs to be represented by a letter to explain how stupid you act.  Remember when you said this:

“ cept 90% of it isn’t criticism, criticism would actually be helpful, no its at the very best nitpicking to the extreme and then crucifying the show and creators who put a ton of work into making a great show over some inane bs.”

1.  Considering that Volume 6 seems to have been made in response to most of the criticisms the RWDE tag has given, I’m guessing those criticisms were actually pretty darn easy to find and were actually quite helpful.

2.  So it’s wrong for us to ‘crucifying the show and creators,’ but it’s okay for you to crucify us?

3.   “put a ton of work into making a great show.”  Dumbass, you don’t fight opinions with opinions, and great shows don’t tend to have:

Uninteresting characters

Underutilized plot threads and potential

Blatant plot holes and contradictions.

Every cliche in the book with no self awareness.

Years and years of queer-baiting.

Unsympathetic characters.

No clear reason for…  Anything.

A plot that relies on its characters all being too incompetent to do their jobs, or even exist for that matter, in order to flow correctly.

Constant ass pulls.

Deus Ex Machinas

Over reliance on cliffhangers in order to keep its audience invested.

Villain Sues.

Mary Sues.

Marty Stues.

Blatant rip offs of everything more popular than itself.  Not even references, just blatant rip offs.

Poor communication between the writers, animators, and soundtrack artists to the point where you wonder if they entered the same room at any point during production.

Writers who flat out admit they have terrible memory.

A good case for sexism.

Failure to deliver on almost everything they promised their audience

And no comprehension of how writing works at all.

Ad Hominin as an argument thus disregard.

Sorry but don’t you know? Everyone in the RWDE tag says they don’t listen to them so an improvement CAN’T be made in response to RWDE. Or, are you just just lying?

Considering you LOVE to bring up the dead and try to harass anyone into silence while saying people who haven’t done anything nearly as bad hould eb crucified:

Yes. By YOUR standards.

And finally:

Opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Only once so STILL an opinion

Opinion

Opinion

Same thing as before

Same thing as before

Opinion

Proof

Proof

Opinion

Opinion

And Opinion

So out of 19 arguments you used opinions for 17 of them. Funny then huh? Almost like your standards are arbitrary and contradictory.

If RWBY had a ton of work put into it, we wouldn’t have a series of exposition dumps that contradict the episodes, we’d have a much clearer idea of when team RRNJ started their journey to Mistral and when it ended in relation to everything else, we’d have actual distinctions between Semblances, Dust, and magic, we wouldn’t have been making the complaint that Ruby felt like a non-entity in a show indirectly named after her for over five fucking years.  Volume 5 spent over half it’s run time focusing on the main characters sitting around a house and talking, for fuck sake!

Cadder-

They have made distinctions between all three

You’ve been provided with proof to the contrary for years but ignored it.

And you like Red vs. Blue which did precisely for FIVE SEASONS.

You only made one fucking one point out of 23 so far. Pretty damn telling eh?

Oh and if making a complaint makes it valid, doesn’t that mean that OP’s compliant is automatically valid as well? Doesn’t that mean the THOUSANDS of complaints I have made are all automatically valid? And if not thus we must have a set standard: RWDE fails by any standard that is set. So, are you wrong...or are you wrong?

But even if you want to ignore all that, that’s why the RWDE tag exists!  It exists so that you can blacklist the RWDE tag and more easily ignore it.  What you’re doing is the equivalent of diving into a pool of piranhas and then complaining that you got bit.

And yet here you stand, eating food you hate for no reason and complaining about it. Maybe you should listen to yourself.

Here’s a thought:  Maybe the people in the RWDE tag who stick with RWBY actually want to see a good version of it, and you don’t get that by flat out ignoring the bad.  I mean, it’s not like they constantly say that or anything.

And it’s not like the creators are constantly say they work hard or that others constantly say they make great show. So, Cadder, what sets you above them? You know, aside from your narcissism?

Says the guy who can’t handle the idea that maybe people don’t like a show he does, and needs to go out of his way to insult them for no other reason.  The RWDE tag was made so that people like you could avoid the crowd that didn’t like RWBY, but since you can’t handle that idea, fine:  This is going in the main tag.

Says the guy who couldn’t take his own bullshit for a single second before screaming ad yelling like a petulant child.

And gee Cadder, didn’t you JUST say that RWDE sticks around because they DO like RWBY? Huh, was that a Freudian Slip I read?

And finally: Rooster Teeth makes plenty of other content and there are SO many others. RWBY was made for it’s audience and you could avoid it yourself.

But since you can’t handle that idea, fine. I’ll continue to attack you then.

No, you’re an idiot for ignoring what they’ve said, why RWDE was created, and for not following your own advice.

Gee, and yet you ignore what the creators have said, ignore why RWBY was created and ignore your own advice. But hey, takes one to know one right.

The RWDE tag complained about how nobody seemed to care that Oscar was being taken over by Ozpin, not even Oscar himself, and it cast Ozpin into a very negative light by making him akin to a parasite from a sci fi horror movie.  Volume 6 showed that, yeah, the characters in-universe see that as fucked up, and they rightfully call Oz out on it.

Nope. Ozpin being in Oscar was barely brought up and in fact ignored.

So 0-1.

The RWDE tag complained that Jaune took away Ruby’s chance to talk about her struggles in Volume 4 and her big fight with Cinder in Volume 5, once again stealing the focus from her.  One of the first things they did in Volume 6 was remove Jaune from the plot for a few episodes, and even when he came back, they focused more on Ruby.

Nope. Ruby talked about her struggles with Oscar in Volume 5 and you screamed at the creators for it while Ruby never re fought Cinder.

Her focus was said everywhere ELSE but RWDE so 0-2.

The RWDE tag complained that Ruby never took the chance in Volume 5 to ask Ozpin about her silver-eyes, instead seeking to learn hand-to-hand combat that was only important because they changed Mercury’s fighting style.  Volume 6 introduced a new character who had silver eyes in the past and had her teach Ruby how to use her silver eyes.

Except that’s based on the idea of Ruby not taking control, not her Silver Eyes. Still doesn’t apply to what RWDE has said so 0-3.

The RWDE tag complained that, despite setting up and foreshadowing a big confrontation between Ruby and Cinder, Volume 5 did not have Cinder take the chance to attack or even indirectly hurt Ruby.  Volume 6 almost immediately brought Cinder back, and rekindled her hatred on Ruby.

Except that that Cinder never lost it AND since Jaune did nothing else in the Volume, ignoring you was GOOD writing. So 0-4.

The RWDE tag complained that Ozpin was completely incompetent for volumes upon volumes by keeping his allies in the dark, making him a very untrustworthy individual.  Volume 6 has him face some consequences for those actions.

Nope. Ozpin was never treated as incompetent nor showed he was gonna change. Other people said he should face consequence but by your own admission: you never did. So 0-5.

Let’s make that 1-28 to gather all the arguments into one spot.

I could go on.

Please do. I wanna see how far you’ll dig that hole before you realize it’s your grave.

There plan has been to wing it.  They’ve already gone on record and said that Ruby’s development and focus was one of the things they wanted to fix with Volume 6.

Let’s add: ‘I don’t know how writing works’ to the list of reasons why you’ll never be listened for.

Because planning something it doesn’t mean every single detail is planned out. Every single writer knows this.

I said they made Volume 6 in response to the criticisms, I didn’t say they did it well.  It can easily be argued they didn’t understand where the criticism was coming from, which given some things Miles has said about RWBY’s critics in the past, isn’t that wild of an assumption to make.  Also, general consensus seems to be ‘it’s better than last Volume.’ And while that isn’t saying much, it still means its an improvement.

Not according to RWDE *cough* Damage Control *cough* The fight between Sokumotanaka and SSSN *cough*

Do you see the quotation marks, or are you just trying to put words in my mouth?  Of course it’s wrong to attack the creators of a bad show, but the RWDE tag doesn’t do that!  Attacking the creators of the show would be launching death threats their way.   Attacking the creators of the show would be harassing them online through their social media accounts.  Attacking the creators of the show is not making jokes at their expense.  Nobody complains when we make jokes about Micheal Bay, nobody complains when we make jokes about M. Night Shamalan, nobody complains when we make jokes about Reki Kawahara; so why do you complain when we make jokes about Miles Luna?

You know-

Because when this exact same shit happens elsewhere, you call it attacking. When it happens with SU, you scream your heads off at SU crits despite them using ALL your arguments. So we’re just following your standards.’

Oh and no on digs up Micheal Bay’s dead friend to attack him with the corpse. That’s pretty fucked up. You wanna know who agrees with me? Your little inspiration, Doug Walker. When his character The Nostalgia Critic did that, he was treated as someone who made a serious fuck up ad felt remorse. You don’t act like or feel like that. So nice try.

The toxic part of the FNDM are the ones who barge into the RWDE tag and assert their views.  The toxic part of the FNDM are the ones insult and belittle the critics of the show just because they found a flaw in their precious little cartoon.  The toxic part of the FNDM are the people like you.  The RWDE tag was created so that you could ignore us and we could ignore you, it’s the equivalence of a sign that reads ‘Do not enter!  Radiation!’ When you ignore that sign, it’s your own damn fault.

And RWBY is the equivalent of ‘Don’t eat! Fish!’ When you eat fish and bitch about it, it’s your own damn fault.

Also: mind showing me where those people use your dead friends against you? ... No? Then you hold that title.

Oh, I do, you don’t.  Criticism is when you voice your misgivings about a show, backing it up with examples, explanations, and facts, in the hopes that the people who make the show will see those criticisms and try to improve.

Except that if anyone treats a show you like in the same manner, suddenly it’s not criticism anymore and you default to MY definition. Sorry Cadder, can’t have both.

1.  If you think the RWDE tag is terrible, than stop reading it.

2.  Would you rather we complain about a show we don’t watch?

3.  I did stop watching it, after Volume 3.

4.  That doesn’t change the fact that the characters would still be uninteresting.

1. ‘Because we just want the RWDE tag to be good!’

2. You don’t watch it

3. So you have no idea what you’re saying. What a that about examples ad facts again?

4. Says the man who doesn’t watch the show.

Hey, remember back in Volume 3 when Penny mentioned to Ruby how she had a plan to stay with her at Beacon?  No?  Well, neither do the writers.

What about Yang’s PTSD arc, which they seemed to blaze through, and only ever give a passing mentioned to ‘Yeah, she still has PTSD?’

What about Weiss’s romance with Neptune, which came out of nowhere and promptly went back to it?

What about actually having Ozpin be a shady, morally grey individual casting which side of his conflict with Salem could be considered a ‘good’ guy, instead of just having him get sick and then pinning all the blame for everything that happened on Salem?

Or hell, what about any of the racism against Faunus, which only seems to exist at the most minor of levels most of the time?

1. Hmm, almost like it was a Red Herring. What was that about ‘not understanding writing’?

2. Showed, didn’t tell it. Just like RWDE always says.

3. You mean the character who only barely appeared in this previous Volume? Hm...

4. Hey didn’t you say you stopped watching the show? Well I guess that makes sense as Ozpin was never treated like that.

5. How would you know? You stopped watching the show. As it shows since Meagrie, Illa, Adam’s brand, the Fanaus being locked in cages in Ozpin’s flashback ect.

The Grimm are supposedly attracted to negative emotions, and this is even how they were able to determine where the White Fang were hiding outside the kingdom of Vale in Volume 2.  Yet despite that, the White Fang weren’t being overrun with Grimm down in the tunnels.

What’s more, during the same volume, in the same location, the negative emotions brought on in Yang, Blake, and Weiss when Oobleck questioned their motives to becoming Huntresses didn’t attract any Grimm to the campsite.  The Grimm were only every drawn to negative emotions when the plot called for it.

Even still, this raises the question of why the Grimm are attracted to negative emotions and why they only target humanity and its creations when they were created by the God of Darkness to be the general embodiment of death, meaning that they would go after everything that’s living.

The rules of Aura also tend to fluctuate in how it works and how powerful it is.  In Volume 1, Pyrrha asked Jaune why he didn’t activate his Aura to protect himself during initiation, then in World of Remnant, it was stated that Aura passively protects its wielder, meaning Jaune shouldn’t have needed to activate it.

What about all the leaps in logic required for Cinder’s plan from Volume 1 to Volume 3 to work?  Her plan required matches in the Vytal Tournament to end specific ways despite how even they looked, and the fact that JNPR vs. BRNZ only ended with team JNPR winning because BRNZ didn’t recognize an opportunity to attack.  It required the Fall Maiden to not run away despite having every opportunity to and instead continue to fight Cinder.  It also only failed because Salem never bothered to tell Cinder about her one weakness as a Fall Maiden so that Cinder could be defeated by Ruby’s Silver Eyes.

There’s also everything brought up here.

1. Proof they had negative emotions CONSTANTLY?

2. Except they’re all shown clearing out the Grimm around them so...

3. But Cadder! They do! After all, RWDE loves to cite how they ‘go after’ animals.

4. Hm, would have known that it works like a trained reflex if you watched the show.

5. Well, it’s not like Cinder jut needed a bad match up or is shown hacking the syste-Oh wait,,,,

Gee, three mystery people or one demigod? I would the demigod would think to win.

Hm, almost like CInder’s arrogance was a character flaw eh?

6. ‘Yes let me cite this source to a Tumblr blog, they totally wouldn’t lie right?’

To be fair, one could argue that Miles already knows how to fill these plot holes and just plans on doing it later.  I’d counter that he has already stated that he has terrible memory and out of all of these questions, the only one that’s been answered is the Maiden’s connection with the Relics.

And I’d counter that you still blame Miles for Jaune even as Kerry has stated otherwise so you have a proven bias against him.

Hence the second half of that sentence:  With no self awareness.  It’s often stated that RWBY just uses those cliches as a jumping ground to later subvert them.  It doesn’t.  If anything, the longer RWBY’s gone on, it only becomes more cliche.  And yeah, cliches aren’t a bad thing, when utilized correctly. But right now, we have a light vs. dark McGuffing hunt where our main character has this super awesome superpower that can defeat the bad guys fueled by love and friendship when our characters hardly interact with each other or build up their friendships.  And this is done without an ounce of self-awareness or anything to make the premise more compelling.

Oh so? ... Oh wait, it;s just an opinion. And what was it you said? ‘Can’t fight an opinion with an opinion’? Funny how you forget..

If you view making a show like baking a cake, then most of these cliches are the sugar; and it doesn’t matter how much sugar you pour in, if you forget the baking soda, your cake isn’t going to rise. 

And if you view RWDE as a bunch of flat earthers: Continuously saying something doesn’t make it true.

Xiaolin Showdown, another series that could be considered a McGuffing hunt, has more intrecate characters and multiple factions warring it out for the Shen-Gong-Wu, and more intricately crafted stories.  It’s not just ‘Go to place, find thing.’ There are also often hurdles the characters need to face, be them external conflicts with the bad guys and the unique games they have to play for the Shen-Gong-Wu, or internal conflicts, such as spats with other characters or emotional conflicts.

Gotcha.

Oh that show where the usually useless sidekick character meant for comic relief ends up being the only person able to save the day in an episode only for this instance to never come up again? or what about the generically evil witch? Or the bumbling bad guy whose actually a huge threat in a future timeline? Or the Big Bad beings sealed away instead of being destroyed because plot? Or what about the leader being someone who has been at this for years and yet is treated just the same as the newcomers because ‘different viewpoints’? Or what about the elements being Fire,Water, Wind and Earth with Fire being high energy, Water being sagely, Wind being a hotshit and Earth being serious and bulky?

Funny how you forget all THOSE cliches.

Sorry Cadder, should probably choose something else. Xiaolin Showdown was one of my favorite shows growing up and I remember a lot of it clearly. And you’re not smart enough to be able to defend it like I can.

Well, I’m not seeing a counter argument, and the cases for queer-baiting are pretty self evident, just look at all the times they’ve made jokes about White Rose or Bumblebee in the show.  It took them five years of empty promises and excuses to actually give us some LGBT representation, and it was the Psycho-Lesbian trope.

And Xiaolin Showdown made jokes about cliches-Welp, better go shit on that then Cadder. Now now, no one’s gonna get better if you don’t ignore how jokes poke fun at things.

Gee, not really an empty promise if it comes true eh? And oh my, the lesbian is a psycho but the straight guy whose an actual psycho you defend is A-Ok? Hm, sounds like someone’s biased...

Well, let’s see:

Jaune Arc:  Cheats his way into Beacon and doesn’t do any of the work in order to actually become the hero he claims he wanted to be.  When offered help, he gets mad and explodes at the person who offered it.  Continuously tried to convince Weiss to go out with him and refused to take ‘no’ for an answer.  When confronting Neptune, he treated her more as a prize to be won than an actual person.  Was the only one to mourn Pyrrha’s death in Volume 4 and, because he couldn’t keep his emotions in check, got into a fight with Cinder in Volume 5, stealing Ruby’s big conflict with her and inadvertently getting Weiss impaled.  Now, that all wouldn’t be too bad on its own, but he never faces any repercussions for it.  Far from it, most of the time, he got rewarded in some way.

Ozpin manipulated our main characters into doing his bidding, brushed off Ironwood’s ideas and suggestions and continued to rely on his students who were still in training to get the job done.  This never worked, yet he is continually presented as a wise mentor who knows what’s best.  He also shows no concern for the 14-year-old boy he is slowly overtaking and assimilating.  He lies to his allies, kept secrets from them, and from volumes 1 to 3, it felt like he was making a bad situation worse.  He also needed to use an ultimatum in order to convince Pyrrha to become the Fall Maiden, giving her no other alternative than ‘Everyone dies.’

Qrow is a perverted alcoholic with no self control who destroys military property and humiliates Winter for no other reason than ‘why not’ and gets away with it.  He shows no sympathy for Yang in Volume 3 after the Vytal Tournament incident, even calling her crazy when she explains what happened, and uses team RRNG as bait for Tyrian.

Weiss was a racist prick who never apologized for any of the things she said in Volume 1.

Sun stalked Blake all the way to Beacon and Managery, and seemingly can’t get away from his teammates fast enough.

Yang destroyed Junior’s bar in the yellow trailer because he didn’t give her the information he didn’t have and assaulted several men who were just trying to do their jobs, and even encouraged Jaune’s pursuit of Weiss.

Gee-

Not only is most of this lies (Jaune is treated as in the wrong most of the time, Ruby mourned Pyrrha in Volume 4, Jaune treating Weiss as a prize is your opinion as many others (especially women) disagree, Jaune was treated as in the wrong for exploding at Pyrrha and had to apologize, Ruby did a bunch of things in Vlolume 5 while Jaune did nothing.

Ozpin brushed him off because Ironwood DIRECTLY CAUSED the Fall Of Beacon due to his fuck ups, he’s succeeded far more times than fails, he has no choice where he reincarnates, He’s never shown DIRECTLY lying, he keeps giving Pyrrha outs, he was treated as in the wrong for keeping secrets, that’s an opinion and he had no otehr choice,

Qrow’ shown to be pervy in a joke (remember something similar happening in Xiaolin Showdown. Hmmm), he’s treated as in the wrong for that, he directly contradicts that and tries helping Yang and he didn’t know about Tyrian.

And yet you ignore her character development (despite someone in Xiaolin Showdown being responsible for resurrecting THE BAD GUY)

Not stalking

Yeah, criminals doing criminal shit! Oh and proof? No, RWBY chibi doesn’t count.)

But wouldn’t one say that these intentional flaws are there to make the characters INTERESTING? SO which is it? Interesting character or Sympathetic? Can’t choose both you showed they’re mutually exclusive in your eyes.

That’s…  That’s not how stories work.  For instance:

Instead of going to combat schools like Signal, like our main character Ruby did, Jaune instead cheated his way into Beacon to become the heroes his family was while putting in none of the work for it. He was also never told anything about the world around him, like Aura, Semblance, ect, when those things are incredibly common and there’s no reason to assume the rest of the world wouldn’t know about them.  It’s not like Huntsmen and Huntresses are a secret.

Ozpin is implied to have accepted Ruby into Beacon because of her silver eyes, yet never thinks to train her with the damn things!

Despite wanting nothing to do with the feud between Ozpin and Salem, Raven steals the Spring Maiden’s powers and was fully intending to take the Relic of Knowledge until Yang pointed out how stupid that was.

Ironwood made a robot that is capable of generating Aura, yet instead of telling the populous or even Ozpin about this, he instead keeps it under wraps as he entered her into the Vytal Tournament, which one could argue was to test Penny’s abilities, but with the way it was presented, it felt more like he was trying to cheat.

And then there are all the humans working with Salem, despite seemingly getting nothing out of it.  It’s even worse for Hazel, who’s sister was probably killed by a Grimm, yet he’s now working with the Grimm’s ruler.

So Cadder- How do you rewire the electrical system for a house? How do you repair a TV? How do you replace plumbing? Hm, you don’t know? Gee, it’s almost li8ke you have to *gasp* go to school for this!

And yet he says it’s because of her skill with the scythe. Hm, you reject both show AND tell....

Gee, not like that’s a character flaw stated to be in Raven-OH WAIT.

Gee, not like Ironwood is paranoid or somethi-OH WAIT,

Hmmm, not like *gasp* that could be elaborated on in the future! Or that hazel is DIRECTLY STATED to be a grieving mess who  is shown to not be logical.

And even then, we don’t judge things based on what they could be.  We don’t judge things based on what they claim to be.  We don’t judge things based on what they’re going to be.  We judge things based on what they are right now.  Yeah, the reasons for this stuff could be explained later, it could also not be explained later. 

So I’m just gonna go ahead and judge you based on your first word in each sentence.

Cinder Fall’s plan required absolutely no student from Haven to realize that they were never at that school.  Nobody realizes that the girl who supposedly left with the injured student was still in the audience.  Amber never thought to run away from her fight with Cinder, despite having clear chances to do so. Emerald used her illusion powers to steal mere trinkets and food, when it had the potential to turn her into one of the greatest thieves Remnant has ever known.  It also required for Ozpin, who know she would be attacking, to not do anything about it like Ironwood suggested.  I have an entire fanfiction pointing out how, if Beacon was a little smarter, Cinder would have failed a dozen times over, and very few of my scenarios have been dis-proven by recent information.

Proof that anyone WOULD ask about them?

Proof that Emerald didn’t hide herself?

Stated character flaw for Amber.

Emerald’s not amoral, she did what she had to for survival.

Not like Ironwood’s paranoid.

And you’re a proven liar, so why should we care?

The Maiden’s who didn’t exist until after Volume 2, Ruby’s silver eyes which were only brought up once, the relics that were never foreshadowed, most of Cinders plans, Raven being the Spring Maiden, shall I continue?  I might as well not, the entire tag is filled with this stuff.

Not an asspull, that’s a deus ex machina, Ozpin’s vault, numerous Tumblr posts disagree since you think they’re valid. And please do, I love making you look like a corrupt fuckwad.

Ruby’s silver eyes at the end of Volume 3, the ships to Mistral at the end of Volume 4, the train that Oscar was able to take at the end of Volume 4, one could argue Penny at the end of Volume 1.

Everyone else said it first, basic logic says there should be patrols, INTERkingdom travel is locked down and Penny was foreshadowed.

No, most shows have each episode end with a sense of finality and complete the story each episode is telling.  Avatar:  The Last Airbender is known for its tight continuity, and I can only think of one cliffhanger from that series.  RWBY, meanwhile, never feels like it’s finishing a single story for each season, and it feels more like the only way the writers will expect the FNDM to continue watching is if they never finish the story as opposed to actual investment. 

Yeah...except Avatar tried pulling ‘the hero is totes dead ya guys!’ so it should be consider worse in your regard.

Cinder Fall from Volumes 1 to 3, see four paragraphs above.

You mean the woman whose been repeatedly insulted and shamed?

Pyrrha Nikos, arguable Ruby Rose, Cinder Fall again.

Dead, bullshit, shamed.

Jaune Arc, Qrow Branwen, Ozpin, Sun, through affiliation with Cinder - Mercury.

Characetr with the least respect

Open drunk

Purposefully flawed leader

Called out on his shit

Being Sub-servant.

Here’s a rather big one. What about the comparisons that can be drawn between the Grimm and the Titans from Attack on Titan?  What about the school of adventure trope that has been done to death by the likes of Harry Potter and Soul Eater?  How’s about the fact that you can draw more parallels between RWBY Volume 4 and Final Fantasy Advent Child than you could on a graph in an average math class?  What about how the Maidens are pretty much the Avatar but quadrupled?  Or how’s about the fact that Ozpin is a poor-man’s Dumbledore?

What about the Titans and teh demons from Berserk?

What about the hundreds of other works BEFORE Soul Eater and Harry Potter?

Proof and no, YHH’s doesn’t count.

Cept they don’t need training, their powers aren’t used by otehr characters and a fuckton of powers are like this

Except Dumbledore was never directly called out on his shit nor revived from the dead.

Gee, didn’t cliches meant rip off.

https://youtu.be/RccCIHwM5ow?t=1196

There’s also the fact that in Volume 4, puddles of mud were supposed to be regular puddles.

How’s about the entire BMBLB incident, where Miles had no knowledge of the existence of the song, and Jeff Williams claimed his songs had no meaning?

This stuff isn’t a secret, people have talked about this stuff extensively. How the fuck do I know more about the production of RWBY than a supposed fan?

Slicksickman who has an open grudge against Miles: disregarded

Proof.

They’ve always done that.

Except none of this fits your argument so....

There’s called plot holes, this is how you get them.

AKA ‘google my proof’

How’s about the fact that Yang runs into a situation to save Blake for Adam, and her reward is a chopped off arm, post-traumatic stress, and mockery from her father, where as Jaune rushes into a situation because he can’t keep his hate boner for Cinder in check, and Weiss gets impaled for it, only for him to unlock his semblance, heal her, and no one gives him any crap for what he just did?  There’s a double whammy here, Weiss gets injured for something Jaune did, and Jaune doesn’t face consequences despite doing pretty much the same thing as Yang.

Except that Weiss being impaled IS Jaune’s punishment.

Taiyang made on joke (but yang openly insulting him? A-okay!)

Or hows about the above moment for Jaune, but when Salem goes through a series of responses so akin to the five stages of grieve I’d be more surprised if it was unintentional than if it was, and the narrator and by extension the writers try to paint her as a complete monster with absolutely no one blaming the gods?

Because Jaune didn’t try tricking immortal beings and he admitted to his flaws ad was treated as in the wrong?

Dumbass, the RWDE tag has more citations for this stuff than a Wikipedia article!

And your citations so far have been INVALID.

More like Conservation.

An action packed series that rarely had any action and for a whole volume had most of the main cast talking in circles as well as sitting in circles.

LGBT representation as promised by Monty Oum, only for it to take five years before we had so much as one confirmed homosexual.

A show that focuses on four girls that kick ass until Jaune walked on screen.

A monster hunter series where the monster hunting aspect hasn’t been relevant since Volume 1.

The show began with talking and was mostly talking.

Never said when.

Jaune’s relevance is TIED to one of the females

And I thought it was about four girls kicking ass.

I could say the entirety of the RWDE tag or just point to most of the points I’ve ready made, so I will!

*points to my blog*

Try again...

Well, as you loved to say:  Citation Needed.  Yeah, we make jokes at Miles’s expense, but then again, so did Nostalgia Critic about Micheal Bay and M. Night Shamalan, and Linkara about Frank Miller, Scott Ciencin, and Rob Liefeld.  People rarely, if ever, get on their cases for it.  Once again, there’s a difference between attacking a writer and making jokes about them.

Remember what i referenced before?

Nostalgia Critic using the dead:https://youtu.be/0EVOxDVSAfE?t=1949

You on using the dead: FUCK YOU, I KNEW MONTY BETTER THAN YOU YOU FUCKWADS! DO AS I SAY BECAUSE I KNEW MONTY FOR FIVE SECONDS!

The Nostalgia Critic earned my respect that day.

You and RWDE have earned my eternal ire.

Hey, I think I found a picture of you online:

Sorry everyone, Cadder accidentally posted a selfie.

1.  All evidence to the contrary.

2.  ‘Couldn’t’  You couldn’t give a shit if we liked the show or not.  If you could give a shit about if we liked the show, that means you do care.  I’m starting to notice a pattern, the people who love RWBY seemed to have failed their English classes.

1. You reject evidence so...

2. Says Mr. “ Managery “

1.  Criticism is almost always a good thing, and seeing as to how Miles has at least attempted to improve his writing and address our criticisms, and that general condenses is that this Volume was better than the last, I think we very much are helping.

2.  Why don’t you eat some film and put your talents as a projector to good use?

1. Except by your own statements, he didn’t.

And 2. Why don’t you use your talents as a sentient barrel of toxic waste to go pollute some wildlife. Only thing you’d ever be good at.

[bpellerin]

Sociopathy properly understood

Currently ("currently" here is a word meaning "sometime near the middle of January 2019" so yeah I'm slow to post) reading yet another Brené Brown book, this one called Braving the Wilderness, and like her other books it's about belonging and vulnerability and how we don't need the first as much as we think but very much require the second and -- wait, I've got that wrong.

We do need belonging, but not the way you'd normally think of that word. Not in the usual sense of trying to fit in with a group, or being accepted into an existing society of fellows unless they're secretly a bunch of annoying but well-connected jerks.

Or, in her case, to be accepted into the cheerleading team back in high school.

Me, it was both being accepted by the cool kids but also making it and being accepted as a musician despite hailing from a different social-economic background than most mainstream pianists. I was an ordinary kid from the grubby suburbs. You know the place other people always made fun of? I lived there. We were the Newfoundland of suburbs. The kids who participated in the music contests weren’t necessarily richer than us, though they probably had a bit more discretionary spending at their disposal than I did. But they lived in Sillery or Ste-Foy, the nice areas we couldn't or wouldn't afford. Either way it wasn’t my fault where my parents had chosen to live. But I got punished because of it regardless by being sneered at and never accepted into the group. The other pianists were polished and sophisticated, something I’ve never felt. 

No, not even now.

I was always a bit raw. I do appreciate that my physical features allow me to clean up alright. I can walk in heels, and evening gowns don't look comical on my frame. I used to make a living in television, dammit. I can make myself look good and polished. But it’s not me.

Me is feeling comfortable in an ugly old fleece because it’s minus stupid outside and jeez, you know. It’s having my hair in a ponytail because I’m training twice today and why bother doing anything else with it? It's a mess of frizzes when I try too hard, and the blow dryer makes me sweat. Makeup is just stupid. Why not spend the time and money eating well and exercising instead? Oh sure, when you need to make a super duper impression under very bright lights like that time they asked you to be on the cover of Time magazine, go ahead. The point is not to look natural when natural means "slightly dead-looking". The point is to be natural and to let others see you that way. IRL, like the kids say. A little touch of blush here and there, if you insist, alright. But come now. Blue on the eyelids? On what creature is this normal? 

Your face tells the story of your life, and it's the one you should be wearing instead of hiding behind three layers of concealer and whatever they call that powder that sits on top and makes your face feel like a slightly overgreased pancake. Let yourself be seen, even if the story of your life includes episodes you'd rather not think about just now thanks very much. That's what gives your expression depth and meaning. Wear it with pride, and to hell what Cosmo says. 

So anyway, to make a long story short(er), I don't spend too much time polishing my exterior shell. It's clean and tidy, and I wear clothes that don't make me uncomfortable by their cut or poor tailoring, but that's about it. 

Back to Brené Brown. She starts the book with a quotation from Maya Angelou (I really need to read everything this woman wrote, too) about the freedom that comes from belonging only to oneself. Brown used to disagree with that quote pretty strongly, but now she gets it.

Funny, because I got it right away.

"You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great." That's how Angelou said it in a TV interview back in the early 1970s. 

I say I got the point of the quote right away, but that's only if you start counting from a few months back. If you start counting from when I came out of the womb or, if we're going to be generous, from when I came of age, er. I took a bit longer. 

I have spent a lifetime and a half struggling to belong. In a family that didn't feel like one. In a school where I either got ignored or bullied. At jobs I cared about so much I alienated everyone else by trying to win everything and beat every record. In relationships I killed with way too much attention and subservience. I would bend over backwards so many times I had no idea what time zone I was in anymore. That's how far I'd go to fit in and be accepted. Because that's what I thought one needed to be happy; to fit in with the cool kids and be accepted as one of their own. 

It was only recently, in the last year or so, that I discovered that sometimes the best way to be the best you can be is to stop giving a fuck what people think or feel. I'm 48 now. It's been a long trek going the wrong way trying to achieve goals that wouldn't make me happy if I succeeded not that I had any chance of doing so. 

Shit. 

So now I'm learning to be a bit of a sociopath. Not the kind the police need to worry about, obviously. But the kind that motors through life not paying too much attention to what other people think or say. 

By the nature of my work I often wind up pissing people off. I have strong opinions about topics people care about. Like Donald Trump and his terminally ugly band of supporters. Or institutional daycare for babies under the age of two. (Not sure which one I despise more.) I'm also not keen at all on the segregation of humans; I don't understand why we park kids in their own buildings while older folks get dumped in retirement homes full of other old people. Why not mix them up, like they do in some European places where they give highly reduced rent to college students in old folks homes in exchange for them mingling with regular residents and performing odd jobs for them, like helping them write letters or just spend time chatting over tea. When I talk about this I often get a wallop on Twitter to the effect that in this busy day and age nobody has time for this sort of stuff anymore and come on, be realistic and stop dreaming in technicolour. 

But I like technicolour. 

I'm happy to have others who like technicolour as much as I do to hop on my merry wagon and travel along with me. I'm also OK with people reading my stuff just to argue with me - though I would be eternally grateful if they actually did try to understand what I was saying before they started shouting. That'd be real nice. But I don't need it, and I certainly don’t need them. 

Any of them. I don't write for an audience. I write for me. I'm delighted to have an audience. But it comes after the work, not before. 

That's the hardest part of trying to belong by not trying to belong, to be perfectly honest about it. Most of us who enjoy the work we do also enjoy feedback about same, especially if it's positive. But sometimes negative feedback is enjoyable too, if it makes you better at the work you already enjoy doing. (Pain to the ego is usually temporary. Right?) 

Not having feedback on the work I do because it's not out there yet, wow, that's hard. Years of daily blogging have made me very dependent on visitor statistics and other social-media metrics for validation. Love or hate my stuff, whatever I don’t care, but at least engage with it. That way I'll know I've done something alright. 

But all this stuff I've been writing these past few months that's sitting quietly in my files waiting to be edited and submitted somewhere? I have no feedback on that. And frankly at the moment it's kind of OK, because the truth is I'm scared shitless of what the feedback would be if there was any. I mean, what if my fiction is no good? What if it sucks? Worse, what if it doesn't suck enough to be interesting in its suckiness? What if it's just, gasp, boring? 

To say this feeling makes me anxious would be a fine understatement. But somehow I have to put that anxiety aside and keep plugging away and not - repeat, NOT - sneak out to the megaplex and watch something explode on screen while I stuff popcorn into my maw. (Mymaw, a popcorn mymaw, popcorn mama, can't stop thinking of possibilities. I have issues.) 

No. I have to keep plugging away, doing the work I was put on this planet to do. And do it for me, like a proper sociopath should. 

[violetsystems]

#personal

It’s been getting hard to keep track of all the misfortune lately on a microscopic level.  This isn’t to say there’s some miniature secret world plotting against me or something.  Maybe it is really the muons at work.  Maybe it’s just people being collectively disrespectful.  If anything is for sure, people out here in America act in groups more often than not.  In Chicago, it’s easier to paint the picture because of a little known characteristic of my city called “corruption.”  You are made to think you are the problem.  That you aren’t following the rules.  These rules aren’t things you can actually follow like tax law or anything.  If anything my taxes this year extended my time to wait all of this out.  But I’ve been waiting all this out for over two decades essentially.  I was reminded of this yesterday shopping downtown when I wandered past my ex girlfriend.  I haven’t spoken to this person for years.  Never would speak to this person.  I’ve run into my car in the neighborhood when I’m on the wrong side of it.  The car I gave up to walk away and never look back over a decade ago.  I’ve been suggested her as a connection on LinkedIn more than once.  Sometimes through an email at 4:20 in the morning from the service.  For whatever reason the Earth’s magnetic poles lead sharks like me around the city with no plan, I sure run into a lot of people.  This is while spending about 11 months completely alone aside from run ins with goods and services.  I occasionally nod to my neighbors.  The landlord installed a new lock on the front gate which is left unlocked most of the time.  I had a package stolen again a couple of weeks ago.  We didn’t talk about it.  It just seems coincidental that now we have a lock.  It’s not the first time I’ve had my packages disappear.  It’s not the first time for anything in this city.  And again it’s not the first time I’ve seen my ex in passing scowling back at me.  She wasn’t wearing a mask.  Thankfully I was.  I’ve given up trying to explain this to anybody but the internet.  And even in that, this site is theoretically dead to most people in mainstream society much like me.  Gaslighting is tied to a myriad of behaviors that people use to exert control.  Think of all the shitty men out there who neg women to groom, shape and mold them into liking them.  Think of this done in collective way.  Like a mob.  Or a commune.  Whatever you call it, it’s not something you can actively fight against yourself.  Sure I have this online outlet.  But most of us get at this point that I’m not looking to connect with mainstream society after being exiled from it like it was a cult.  Typical cult behavior is to alienate and isolate the victim.  Kind of like the army.  You break down someone’s resolve to the point where they have no choice to give up and accept the way.  That this is your home.  This is your path.  This is your destiny.  That this is all you are worth.  That you are being unreasonable thinking there’s anything wrong.  That you should just give up and assimilate to the group.  Except in my case, there’s no option or way forward.  If my self confidence were lower or my bank account far less liquid I’d be on the ropes by now.  And yet things just keep getting worse when it comes to what this city projects at me.  It’s completely full of shit and not even remotely concerned in hiding it.  I could never prove any of this behavior towards me is organized.  So I don’t.  I don’t waste my time other than writing it out on the internet to show I’m not crazy.  But the city is against me at every step outside my locked gate.  Inside my rent is paid and I have a silent agreement at best.  At least I can be trusted to keep a secret.

Trust is something that can’t be recovered with mere words.  I’ve known for awhile I’ve been held to a completely different standard.  It’s hard to quantify.  As much as I’d like to think this is a dead site, I know those very same people stalk every word I say.  It’s a fucked up situation that just keeps getting deeper into a hole no one can crawl out of.  I’ve spent my time being vague and cautious.  I’ve focused more on my fiscal health through this which is better than it has ever been.  Sans identity theft ever few weeks.  This is a reality that I live that has gone way beyond a line of normalcy.  I’m supposed to just sit here mothballed, exiled and benched.  I’m supposed to sit here and take it while people watch on some scary collective level.  I’m not too paranoid about anything.  Honestly I’m the least paranoid I’ve ever been.  I’m just simply bored with the inefficiency of it all.  You really want to sit here and tell me that it’s my fault.  That it’s about me “getting out there” and getting “out of my comfort zone” when I spent years travelling by myself to Asia, New York and as far as New Zealand.  These are journeys I’ve written about at the level of a fifth grade writing teacher.  And still nobody can bother to accept that I’ve been around the block more than once.  It’s as if I don’t matter unless I reach out to someone.  Which I have for years on this platform.  I’m comfortable with that.  To be this invisible after all the shit I talk is a mindfuck.  I wonder why I even talk shit at all anymore.  I wonder why I don’t just wall myself up in my apartment and never see the light of day.  I wonder a lot of things.  I wonder how deep this pain will get over time.  I wonder why people think this is completely normal to put a person through what I’ve been through.  What does this prove exactly?  To me it proves that I am worth it.  And self confidence in this situation is the biggest mother fucker there is.  Because everyone would rather resort to chipping away at your defenses than getting to know who you really are.  I’d be more bothered if I cared about it.  But we are in the middle of a crisis.  I have been quarantined and isolated from everything alone.  I have been followed, gossiped about, threatened, and intimidated most every day of the week for over a year.  I don’t really care.  I have reached a limit in which I constantly feel like telling the world to fuck off.  I have spent years rattling away paragraphs that are harvested by some future algorithm to mine for some tortured sitcom version of Tenet.  What the fuck is really going on here?  I couldn’t ever tell you.  None of how this has played out for me makes any bit of sense.  I have nowhere to go.  I have nothing to do.  I have skills that are invisible.  I have a professional network that pretends I’m not alive.  I get winks and secret stares like I’m not in on some joke.  That I’m outside whatever privileged simulation the rest of this city enjoys.  I’ve given up trying to explain it.  I never want to explain it.  I never want to look back at all these sorry ass glances.  I live in a city that plays by its own lawless rules and expects you to bow down and kiss it’s scrubby ass feet.  While walking back to the train the other day I took the long way under the metra tracks.  There’s a ton of homeless people living in tents.  I walked past and an arm stuck out from one with a needle in the other hand.  This tattooed motherfucker literally just shot up in front of me.  Like it was some sick expression of freedom.  This country is fucked up.  This city is even worse.  And people think like I’m living some charmed, bargain basement life.  Like it’s cool to be poor.  Like it’s divine to suffer and struggle so that the rest of these people can pretend it never happened.  This is real life in Chicago.  Home of the free and land of the gaslighted.

I don’t know what to say or do anymore.  I know this is some sort of epilogue.  That it really doesn’t matter.  I’m going to spend an entire summer alone again.  Just to prove a point.  Then come September I’m going to have to make the decision to leave.  There are no answers.  No opportunities.  Nobody who wants to see this all happen to me and point a finger back at society.  I’m not tortured enough.  I’m not part of some community other than a dead website people make fun of.  I don’t have a fucking future here.  I get scammed.  I get conned.  I get catfished looking for jobs.  I get sidelined.  I get benched.  I get picked over.  And I get it.  If we really look at the way the entertainment industry and the media work everyone pays attention to two week cycles.  In the last two weeks, people have copied every single idea and claimed it their own.  Just like the two weeks before that.  People make it all about them and forget what inspired them.  And people move on to the next thing to consume.  They have no focus.  They churn around trying to be like everyone else and become more the same.  I’ve been a musician.  I’ve been a rapper.  I’ve been host.  I’ve been a commentator.  I’ve been a writer.  I’ve been a lot of things.  And I’m still completely invisible except even more so.  It’s like a joke to some people.  They get off on cucking me in front of my face.  Like they’re so much better at expressing their freedom than me.  These people are toxic and inefficient as fuck.  You can’t express freedom in one breath at the expense of somebody else’s.  You cannot do that in an organized mob like fashion on the internet.  If you do, the DOJ will find you.  And you will need a fucking lawyer.  And this is what I tell myself when I get really mad.  That I will have the last laugh.  That I will be able to wait it out.  That things will have changed after July 4th when the city reopens.  We can all laugh and dance the pain away.  We can all conveniently ignore the shady bullshit that I experienced up front and center.  This is a dangerous reality.  That after July it will be a year since I was let go.  A year of being invisible taking care of my own shit.  A year of me telling you I told you so only to be gossiped behind my back like I’m crazy.  I’m ok with walking away from all this shit and starting over.  I already did that.  It’s a fucking insult I live every day people thinking they know everything about me and never even asking my fucking name.  And yet I don’t really care.  It’s not worth my fucking time to care anymore.  I don’t exactly know the way forward.  I’m trapped in a situation that would make normal people’s eyes bleed.  I write here out of frustration knowing full well it’s not something I control.  I can’t do anything about this.  So I figure out ways to pass the time like I’m in some sort of jail.  Does it matter?  On a small level yes.  I do understand that there are people out there that care about me equally as much.  This is why I stay down here.  A joke.  Anonymous proof that everyone is pretty much full of shit when they talk about me behind my back.  And yet it gets worse.  Who did I piss off?  I don’t mind that I did.  I’m kind of proud actually.  Because if I pissed you off being me it means I got under your skin.  It means ultimately I’m better than you can ever be.  And you’ll tear your own skin off trying to live in the shadow of mine.  Nobody can ever be me.  Nobody can ever copy my shit and be authentic.  This is what we need to focus on.  Authenticity.  For all the shit people talk about me, I don’t need to say a word.  You can make fun of me in front of your coworkers or friends at the bar.  Somebody will always be in the shadows listening to your bullshit.  And your bullshit is so obvious these days.  I have no choice but to wait it out and watch you eat the shit you’ve been shoveling for decades.  How I’m going to do that should be obvious by now.  Nothing has changed.  Everything else is a secret.  <3 Tim

[dexi-green]

THE LAST JEDI SPOILERS!!!

I saw a lot of hate for The Last Jedi before I went to go see it. A lot directed at the misuse of Rose and sympathy for Kylo, but knowing tumblr I didn’t take it to heart, and went to go see it. Coming out of the theater I loved it. Yeah sure it was different, surprising, and I guess there were a few moments that weren’t my all time favorites, but i loved it (am I just blinded by my love for star wars so I can’t see flaws? maybe...I mean I love the prequels, and apparently you aren’t suppose to like those...) But when I came back and went on tumblr and twitter to see peoples responses now that I can look and not worry about spoilers, i still don’t get it.

Star Wars isn’t the pinnacle of Representation. Not by a long shot. But I think that it deserves more credit than the internet is giving it. So I’m just going to give my personal opinion on some of the criticisms I’ve seen.

Rose is a Rey Replacement/Meant to break up Stormpilot, Finn/Rose/Poe are treated badly, Poe becomes an angry latinx sterotype, Tries to make us feel sympathy for Kylo:

First off, my personal motto is to not go into movies (especially big franchise films like marvel/star wars/dc/harry potter) with big expectations especially regarding ships. The filmmakers do not care what you ship, and it’s highly unlikely they will be canon. LGBTQ+ representation is something that is desperately needed especially in big blockbuster films, but with the current state of Hollywood, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect it to play out. Also if it isn’t outright stated, I tend to try not to think of any relationship as romantic (I’m not a big shipper anyways).  I’ve just learned that if you want to come out of these movies happy, don’t bring your ships/headcanons in the theater.

Rose is a strong character on her own. She has a lot of potential that they can cash in on with the next film. I would say that she may be a Rey replacement or treated terribly if she would’ve actually died. Then she would’ve just been a placeholder until Finn and Rey reunited. Then she would’ve died with little growth (I say this because episode IX has (like I said) the potential to continue her character arc even more). Within this film she goes from being a maintenance worker, mourning her sister, looking up to the heroes, to becoming a hero herself. Sparking hope in the future of the resistance/jedi (you go Temiri). Infiltrating The First Order and sacrificing herself and delivering one of the most important lines in this trilogy imo “That’s how we’re going to win. Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love.” 

I personally feel that saying that all of that is undercut by the fact that her and Finn “fail” or that she is made to kneel in front of a galaxy Nazi or that she got critically hurt at the end, is...saddening. She IS still a strong woc. The fact that she goes through that pain, or fails, shouldn’t take away from the good she does. Same with Finn and Poe. They get thrown around and kicked through the dirt, but that doesn’t make them any less of heroes. Like Yoda said “The greatest teacher, failure is.” and that is what this movie is about. That hope isn’t lost because you fail or make mistakes. That you get up and keep going, learn from what you did wrong and do better.

All writers know that the best way to find your characters true selves is to really push them. Right to the edge. Put them in the worse situations because then they really have to make honest decisions and show who they really are. It makes the audience feel bad, and sympathize for the heroes. It’s the difference between a Superman “I’ve never done bad in my life” type of hero and a Batman/Captain America “I’ve been to hell and back and I’ll fight for what I believe” hero. How interesting would the story really be if the heroes always came out on top in everything they do? The heroes were really on their last leg throughout this entire movie. All of them. Forced to do what they needed to survive. And that makes it that much better when they do pull through. Yeah it sucks to see Finn get berated by Hux/Phasma, so when we see Phasma fall down into that pit of fire, Finn standing over her, You feel that gratification. In TFA when we see Kylo interrogate and manipulate Rey, it makes me feel sick, so when she absolutely destroys him in the battle on Starkiller, I’m so proud and happy. Thats what its about. The triumph of good. But if there is no evil, if there is no bad guys, or no pain, what is there to overcome? What is the point? How do the characters grow?

That is on reason why I didn’t see Poe as an angry latinx stereotype. Because despite some people having a somewhat calm demeanor, everyone else was in the same place as him. He just showed it. I didn’t even seen him as angry/hotheaded. I saw him as frantic. He was scrambling to try and find a way to save everyone. He didn’t want to back down. Holdo/Leia were just calm, and tried to think of other ways. He is standing up for what he believes. And people get angry/upset/loud sometimes. There isn’t anything wrong with that. Not to go into it to much, but I think that is a problem with some people on the internet. They want representation, but get mad if the character isn’t “perfect”. But people are flawed. People get mad and loud, no matter what their race/ethnicity/gender/sexuality/etc. I feel like he would fall into that stereotype if he had...i guess, refused to help Finn in TFA, or anytime throughout that film (where he seems to be smiling in every scene he’s in??)? If he had absolutely flipped on Leia for slapping him or demoting him (and I mean got more than a little loud). If he had been angry for Holdo/Leia for not doing his plan, not because he thought it was the right course of action, but because he wanted to do what he wanted to do and nobody was going to tell him he couldn’t.

Going along with the, push characters to the edge to show the real them, thing... I am 100% not for a Kylo redemption. I can see them doing it, but I say he is a great villain so let him stay a villain. When they were teeing it up, with Rey and Snoke, I wasn’t too happy (But the battle with the Praetorian guards was cool so I was okay for a bit) I did not want him to go to the light side. I was sort of relieved when it was revealed afterwards that he still just wants to rule the galaxy, but is still sort of set in the Sith way of “I’ll have power, and I’ll get it however I can.” So not exactly “good” in that classic sense. With all that being said, I don’t see much wrong with how Kylo is shown in this film.

Rey is manipulated and obviously has her own conflict of light and dark (a bit) so her sympathizing with Kylo isn’t exactly “good” sympathizing with “bad” (especially since this new trilogy seems to want to blur the lines between the two more so, (and hopefully give us a Grey jedi Rey)). And the audience doesn’t have to feel bad for him. We were just given a bit more of his story, and like with the other characters having flaws, the villain is allowed to have nice qualities as well. A lot of popular villains are charismatic, and amazing people persons. They have an alluring nature. A lot do bad because of bad done to them, and are on the edge of being Robin Hood types. A lot of villains aren’t textbook evil 24/7. When we feel bad for villains or antagonists, it adds to the story (i guess maybe just for some people). It causes us to talk and think about them and the story more because we can relate. It allows the messages to resonate deeper with us, and makes us look inside ourselves. In the case of TLJ, How would you let your or someone else’s failure influence you? Would you be like Kylo and seek revenge, power? or would you be like the Resistance and let it motivate you to do better?

I very much agree with people online. The Star Wars franchise, and Hollywood in general can do so much better with Representation. There is many things they could fix. Add in more POC, LGBTQ+, especially main characters. Make them complex and realistic. I know it hurts to see the one character that you see yourself in go through pain, but (and I know i’m going to get hate for this) thats a part of life, and a big part of dramatic action movies like Star Wars. Star Wars isn’t exactly a nice family sitcom. If you go into expecting no one to be hurt, then, you’re gonna have a bad time. I can’t seem to find it but there was a nice post about how every piece of media that tries to have representation doesn’t need to be “THE ONE”. Not every piece of media with a black man is going to have every single black man relate to it. Having more representation isn’t about it being perfect, it’s just that, having more. A straight, white, man can sit down and start watching a film, and if they don’t connect with the story they can turn around and go to something else. That is what we are trying to go to. Have so many different representations of LGBTQ+, or POC, or disabled, etc. communities, so we don’t all have to hang on to the same one. So we can find something we personally connect to. Just because you don’t connect or like the characters in SW, doesn’t mean no one else does. There are soooo many little boys who look up to Finn and Poe and see them as a heroes. Or girls who look up to Rose. They don’t see the negative bits that you might. Even if it is Rian Johnson’s goal to slap around the POC characters as much as possible, a lot of people, outside looking in, don’t see that. If enough people are looking up to these characters as heroes, and more people (the actors, writers, fanartists, comic writers, etc.) get their hands on these characters, does that intention even matter anymore? If we create a supportive community, what does that matter? I know we want representation but to make that a reality people have to stop berating and negatively judging every single bit of representation we get. There is plenty we can attack.So we have to be supportive and critical. Say “I’m so glad that star wars introduced a WOC. Though I think in the next movie, I would love to see her hold her own a bit more.” instead of #star wars hates poc. Otherwise the only thing those big hollywood exec’s are gonna see is negative backlash to their attempt at representation, and they will just crawl back to their straight, white, male, comfort zones. You know how many times hollywood has used the excuse of a film or show with a diverse casting not doing well so they wouldn’t have to do it again. How many times they have manipulated it to be that way? (e.g. The Catwoman and Elektra movies did badly (also got bad advertising) so they avoided making another female led superhero film for a long time.) With overall negative reviews. Then there are things like Saban’s Power Rangers in more recent years. Not the best of the best, but good and entertaining, with a diverse cast, but it did badly and you don’t see marvel or dc picking up a superhero with autism. They look at each other’s numbers, look online and see what kind of buzz it gets, and decide from there what things succeeded and what didn’t and put the good bits in the pot for the next film. So when they see people trashing the representation, guess what part they aren’t going to pick out and use again? I’ll stop now. Edit: I also want to add that I am completely open to talking about this. I do want to hear people’s opinions on why they might have felt uncomfortable with certain things, and what they think should be changed in future installments. I’m open to civil discussions, with people who respect other points of view.

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

3: For the Glory of Hera

A siren startled him back into the waking world. His eyes opened suddenly and he gasped. He wheezed and coughed and that rattled his bones and aggravated a sharp pain in his back and ribs caused by a metal folding chair assault that he never saw coming. The interior glass of the rental car was fogged up by his breath. John yawned as he wiped away the obstruction. The sun was starting to rise on the day after the big event. After his unceremonious elimination, he got dressed into street clothes and quietly departed the arena. John walked past angry and happy competitors alike and no one bothered to say anything to him. John had parked in a backlot of closed grocery store when the arena finally left his rearview mirror. He opened the driver’s side door and let the fresh morning air circulate throughout the car. He just wasn’t sure what to think about the last few days and the harsh realities of what had happened. He had failed to live up to the expectations that he had set for himself. He understood that many others would be combatting those feelings on this very morning but this was him and that was all that mattered in his mind. He had promised to redeem himself like in his favorite books. Instead he had barely registered anything of notice. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have been so naive to ask his body to come to life in such a short period of time. The sun rising was symbolic and it was something he had cherished for the last three months. This was another day. And then there would be another day after this one. Even in his prime, he had never seen something so grand as the last few days. Before everything went down, they all had wanted to talk and he had pushed them away. John couldn’t help to feel that he was being prodded into doing something he didn’t want to do. Although, not wanting to do it was an oversimplification. John didn’t understand what these media representatives wanted from him. In the past and recently, all people wanted from him is some type of affirmation of their suspicions. John’s knees creaked as he stood up from the car and he stretched his arms into the sky and took the clean air into his lungs and exhaled. It hurt for him to breathe. He pocketed the keys and then closed the door behind him. He surveyed his surroundings and just like him the city and its residents were starting to awake from their collective slumber. Cars started to enter the lot he was in and they were most likely employees of the store. He turned away from the entryway into the street that led him and slowly walked into the alley behind the market. Right now, he was a warm body there to fill up time. Their expectation of him was that he would show up in Tuscaloosa in just over two weeks and compete with two others. John had brief impressions of them. One who would certainly draw many parallels with himself if only on the surface level. A violent and cruel man who seems to be only capable of afflicting pain and suffering on others. After this last couple of days, he could see that archetype being a trend and most times he could see it for what it really was — blustering and puffing out ones chest to compensate for a lack of any redeemable qualities whatsoever. He wasn’t sure about this one, though. It wasn’t like he could read his mind. His apathy was perhaps a product of a system that would expect them to be an animal. An animal to be fed and watered. An animal to be kicked and beaten. An animal to be forgotten and thrown away. And to the general public, that was justified. He had stepped out of the boundaries of acceptable conduct and thus his dehumanization was completely acceptable. Their experiences were wholly different. He had never thought of the benefits of minimal human contact throughout the years but when he concluded that if the only contact one received was negative then perhaps this one would embrace the dehumanization and become a spectacle that they were. The reality, though, is that John would have little to say to this man. His only communication would be through violence. The other was an anomaly and confounded John. He would ask this person, just what is the darkness? What is he so angry about? He had everything someone could ever want. John every once in a while kept up with current events through magazines but he preferred Reader’s Digest. Sometimes there were meaningless fluff pieces about how to “improve” your life but he liked the stories about happy people. Maybe they weren’t happy before but through adversity they were now. And so the first question remained: what the hell is he so angry about? But like the other combatant, there would be little conversation and honestly John did not care. These two men were obstacles. And John was sure that the feeling was mutual. There was no reasoning with them. They were wrought with anger and hatred and should be put down for their own good. He traipsed lightly through the alleyway. He could smell the garbage before he could see it overflowing from a nearby dumpster. He could hear the rodents squeaking and rummaging through a smorgasbord of rotting food. The long narrow pathway opened up into a square bustling with what some consider an undesired element. There were rows and rows of ramshackle tents and the people that owned them were going about their business. The people who had woken up early had already torn their canvas abodes and packed them away. Some wore clothes that were dirty and soiled but their disposition didn’t reflect their situation. Many gathered around a man that dispersed warm soup from a bucket with a bowl into theirs. The chatter was friendly and light hearted. John, with his raggedy pair of tennis shoes, track pants, and sweat-stained hoodie didn’t look out of place here. John sat down on a brick barrier across from them and quietly observed the mutual cooperation. “Enjoyin’ the show?” John turned his head slowly and laid eyes upon an older black man in relatively clean coveralls except for stains on the front pockets and scuffs of dirt on his knees. His face was cracked with advanced age or perhaps his predicaments were not kind to him. Gray wiry hair stuck out from the side of a black baseball cap with a faded Braves logo on it. John nodded at him as if to acknowledge his question. The old man sat beside him on the low wall. “Them, well me too, we packin' up before 12 comes with nothin’ better to do.” John watched a younger man gathering aluminum cans that had just spilled out to the ground back into a garbage bag. “You from around here?” “No,” John mumbled. “Speak up, use your words, boy.” John sighed and looked the man in the eyes. They were unflinching and at this moment a little confrontational at this point. “No.” “Okay, so where you from about?” “I’m not really sure.” There was a moment of silence and then the man cleared his throat and spit out a large glob of phlegm onto the pavement. “Okay, so are we in mutual circumstances?” “No.” “You ain’t much for conversation, are ya? I used to have pry sentences out of my students but they couldn’t shut up on the black top. Always talkin’ shit and the like.” “I’m sorry, I’ll go if you want. I was just … looking around.” “There ain’t much to see here,” the old man laughed, “I mean, you got all the tourist gaga over ‘bout there,” he motioned casually towards the arena John had been the night before, “Been pretty busy this week and they has been plenty of folks circulating about but now it’s just us and the workin’ stiffs.” “You’re a school teacher?” John suddenly asked. “Was. I taught high school english and literature for thirty-four years. But here I am now.” “Why aren’t you teaching anymore?” The old man shrugged, “Ain’t economically viable anymore. But really, it’s my own damn fault. Let alcohol run amok and take over. It was good until it wasn’t good, you know what I mean? What about you?” “I fight people for a living.” “Hmmm, well, put two and two together and I see what you’re alluding to. And I may be a dusty old dog but I still read me a newspaper every mornin’ and your expression ain’t much different then the one they always use from when they took your booking picture. Maybe you a little more weathered and you certainly looked tired and spread thin. I know who you are and well, I ain’t got much opinion about it. My question is: what are you doing here?” “I’m not really sure.” “They ran a story on you in the USA Today a few weeks ago. Said what you was up to. You ever read stories before?” John just nodded. “Right, I figured you’d have time for that. So I read your story and I says to myself — because well nobody else here bother talking to me about anything except where we gonna eat and sleep next — that boy, he a modern day Hercules. And now here we are. You slain any lions recently?” John bristled at this and it was like a switch getting flipped, “I never understood this. How can someone else be responsible for what he did? He did what he did and that is why he set out to redeem himself.” “Ain’t that a shame? I never bothered to teach that story. I think some folks like to romanticize this image of Hercules and I always thought, how many times this guy going to accidentally kill his family and friends?” “You’re wrong about me.” The old man chuckled, “I don’t know you from Adam. I don’t think it really matters because whether you believe it or not, you put yourself on this very journey.” “Hercules was a murderer and even in his labors to redeem himself he deceived others and killed in the name of that redemption. And even after getting everything he wanted, he still caused harm to people that trusted him to protect them. All everyone seems to remember is that he earned immortality and what they see from a cartoon.” “Okay, we ain’t talking literally here but isn’t that the nature of what you do. Get ahead at the expense of others. I guess some of you put a happy face on while you do it. Is that you? You going about to qualify yourself to be a worthwhile human being?” “I don’t know…” “It’s not something that is easy to know. I know that you ain’t love you, though. I hated myself everyday for what I am now but sometime I eventually just accept it. I know it could be better but I got friends here and we watch each others backs and that because we otherwise invisible.” John stared down at his shoes and avoided eye contact with his company. The old man grabbed him by the chin and turned his head and forced the issue with direct relentless eye contact without much resistance. “And so is you. You’re slipping through the cracks and you making sure to marginalize yourself. Well, you can’t get no smaller than this. Going on this journey isn’t going to matter to a hill of beans until you come to terms with yourself. Not who you seem to presenting yourself to be. You a learned man cause I ain’t paying you no compliment that there is no glory in doing this for Hera and you know that. You know that, John.” The old man got to his feet and straightened out the hunched up overalls. “We leaving and you can’t come. This ain’t your story.” And he departed with his people. They dispersed from this area without paying John anymore notice. They left without a trace and the courtyard looked like no one had even been here. And soon after John was gone as well.

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7 Steps to Take to Be Nicer to the Most Important Person in Your Life

Why even try. Nobody cares about you.

This thought crosses my mind at least once a day, thanks to my struggle with negative self-talk. And if you're also someone who consistently makes mean comments to yourself, you're far from alone. Thoughts like "Oh, you're so stupid" or "You're too fat to wear that" are prime examples of the way many of us talk to ourselves every day.

"Negative self-talk can be hugely impactful on your daily life," says psychologist Ashley Hampton, Ph.D. "Our thoughts influence our feelings and then our behaviors. This can lead to negative behaviors, like isolation, lack of motivation, and a desire not to engage in activities that bring you happiness."

Beyond adding to depression and isolation, negative thoughts can lead to physical changes. A 2015 study found that adolescents who viewed themselves as overweight, even though their body weight was in the normal range, were more likely to become obese later in life. Now, thinking "I'm fat" once or twice will not make you heavy one day, but the study showed a direct connection between negative thoughts and a negative outcome.

(And let's note that I'm not saying that being overweight is negative, I'm saying it was the negative scenario for those participants. Be whatever weight you want!)

Negative self-talk promotes a cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies and prevents you from seeing the bright side. Most of us have probably felt its effects before. When you tell yourself, "I'm going to do terribly in the job interview. I'm awful. Oh, God, let's prepare for this disaster," you're setting yourself up to do a terrible job when the interview actually happens. We think we'll do badly, which makes us perform badly, which makes us think we'll do badly again next time.

But instead of getting stuck in this cyclone of sadness, you can change the way you talk to yourself. It's not always easy, but coaches, counselors, and psychologists have some tips on how to turn your Negative Nelly voice into a Pollyanna of Peace.

1. Check Yourself

"Building an awareness of your negative self-talk and recognizing every time you are giving yourself a negative message is the first step of minimizing its impact," says life coach Shefali Raina. When you're used to being crappy to yourself, you might not even notice how negative your thoughts are.

Raina recommends tracking your negative thoughts for two weeks. Simply write down every time you say something mean to yourself. Maybe you'll have a couple lines on a page or a whole journal full of hate. Either way, by recognizing the negativity, you're making a good step toward changing it.

EDITOR'S PICK

After you find out your baseline of negative self-talk, then you want to find your triggers. "In a world where we are inundated with social media and highlight reels showing us people living on the beach and saying they're millionaires, sometimes the comparison game can trigger negative self-talk," Hampton says. "The very simple reality is most of what we see on social media is not true or at least is not completely true."

Even if social media isn't your trigger (and if it isn't, I commend you), Hampton says to always give your triggers a second look. Ask yourself if what you're reacting to is actually true ("My friend is always at the beach. She has such a better life than me.") or if you're reacting to a false presentation ("Oh wait, she's always complaining about how broke she is. This beach pic is just one example of a complicated life.")

By reframing these knee-jerk reactions, you can distance yourself from these negative thoughts, which can allow you to more easily see lies for what they are. As the great Bette Midler once said, "From a distance, there is harmony, and it echoes through the land." View your thoughts from a distance and you'll start playing a lot more songs of hope and peace and fewer songs of "everyone hates me."

2. Amber Petty Recommends Speaking in Third Person

I say things to myself like, "You're an f'ing idiot," or "Nobody cares what you think," all the time. But would I talk that way to another person? Nope. I mean, I might say it behind someone's back if they really pissed me off, but to someone's face? No way!

It turns out that distancing yourself from your own self-talk can be surprisingly helpful, as a 2014 meta-study revealed. Participants who referred to themselves in the third person ("She's a great person with solvable problems") during introspection had less anxiety than people who spoke in the first person ("I'm a smart person with solvable problems").

This is evidence that using the third person automatically puts those thoughts at a distance and lets you treat them more rationally and less emotionally. I mean, maybe if the phrase had been, "Can you smell what I'm cooking," the Rock never would have become superstar Dwayne Johnson.

Basically, when you speak in the third person, you're acting like you're talking to a different person. So just as you wouldn't say, "You look so ugly in that dress" to a friend, when you use third person, you're much less likely to say that to yourself. It may seem a little odd at first, but if you try it, you may find it works for you too.

3. Name That Jerk

Raina recommends another distancing technique to tame your negative instincts. Instead of using the third person, Raina says to give your mean thoughts a name. "Naming it helps create a space between the message and yourself," Raina says. "It gives you the opportunity to send those negative thoughts to the side and get back in control of your destiny again."

I actually do this. My negative voice is like an unfunny Daria or a goth teenager who wants to sit around and tell me how stupid and pointless everything is. So, when I have those thoughts, I tell that snotty teen to put her black lipstick away and go bother someone else for a while. And it really helps! Lord knows I'm not always perfect with this, but it's something I've done recently that makes a big difference.

Or in the words of Katya Zamolodchikova, name your inner saboteur "Brenda" and tell her to shut the eff up. It's a really solid, funny way to reduce stress—and it works.

4. Watch Your Words

After you notice your negative thoughts, you can begin to change them. An easy way to start is by taking a few words out of your self-talk vocabulary. Counselor Melanie Hall, M.A., LCPC, recommends limiting your usage of "always," "never," and "should."

"Using absolutes such as 'never' and 'always' disempowers a person, and is self-defeating," Hall says. "There are ranges to most things in life—few things are final while life is in motion." When it comes to the term "should," Hall says this word can be punitive and is usually attached to shame and guilt. By taking these words out of your self-talk, you instantly have thoughts that are less drastic, more balanced, and probably less negative.

Now, instead of saying, "I should work out more," try, "I can work out more," "I will work out more," or "I could work out more, but I have better things to do with my life." The last one maybe isn't the best choice, but it's certainly my favorite.

5. Look on the Sunny Side

Now that you can identify negative thoughts and make little changes, it's time to really make changes by turning negative self-talk into positive self-talk. And when you practice positive self-talk, that's not just some rah-rah BS to make you feel good—it can really change your attitude, outlook on life, and actions in the world. Studies have found that positive self-talk can even help athletes perform better in high-stakes situations.

So, even if it feels weird, try to see little positivity in all of your negative thoughts. Maybe "I messed up, I'm so stupid," becomes "I messed up and I know I won't do it again because I'm a smart person and hard worker."

Now, sometimes it's really hard to go from dark to light. But even going from dark to neutral can make a difference. So, instead of "Ugh, my gross, fat stomach," you could think, "My stomach is big. I'd like it to be smaller." You're not exactly farting rainbows, but at least you're looking at the situation objectively and not guilting yourself into feeling worse.

Over time, it'll be easier to change neutral thoughts into positive thoughts. Then, who knows, maybe you'll catch yourself thinking, "Wow, you are so smart, you did a great job today" without any prompting at all. That might take some time, but that kind of positive attitude is attainable when you get to work on your Debbie Downer self-talk.

6. Bust Out the Gratitude Journal

To help achieve a general aura of positivity, all the experts I interviewed said to start a gratitude journal. "I encourage clients to write three to five things they are grateful for every day. This helps redirect the pattern of thinking to the glass being half full, rather than half empty," Hall says.

EDITOR'S PICK

I've done this before, kind of, in that I used to keep a journal where I'd just rattle off three things, like it was such a chore to be asked to be grateful. And guess what? That journal didn't help me. Instead, Hall recommends taking time and really feeling the happiness the things in the journal brought you. After a while, you'll start to look for the positive things in life instead of always latching on to the negative. And your self-talk will follow suit.

7. Make It RAIN

Asking you to go through every one of these tips every time you have a crappy thought is kind of asking a lot. So, Raina recommends the RAIN method as a handy way to remember the steps toward changing your self-talk.

R - Recognize the negative self-talk

A - Accept the message

I - Investigate

N - Non-Identify with Negativity

Basically, realize you're being a jerk to yourself, accept that that just happened instead of arguing with yourself about it, figure out if that mean thought is actually true or just an exaggeration or false perception, then distance yourself from the negativity and switch it to a positive or a neutral.

That still sounds like a lot, but think of the mental health toll negative self-talk takes. It's exhausting to think unkind things about yourself 24/7. By slowing down, analyzing your thoughts, and going through these simple steps, the negativity will begin to fade, and a happier you will emerge.

Amber Petty is an L.A.-based writer and a regular contributor to Greatist. Follow along as she shares her weight-loss journey in her new bi-monthly column, Slim Chance. Follow her on Instagram @Ambernpetty.

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Make Your Year Count!

Sorry this is a really long post but I want to try and help as many people as possible.

Did you know just one small change each month over the year can really help you, on the road to a new you! Each month follow my tips to help make a change, trust me on this it really does work!

January - join a gym and get active. This year I made it my priority to join a year and go at least twice a week. Exercise can be used as an "antidepressant", exercise causes the body to produce "endorphins" which are chemicals the body produces to make you feel more peaceful and happy, doing regular exercise can also help you to sleep better!

February - A Moment for Myself Meditation Try to find a time to relax at least once a day, if you can try and pick the same time each day, so that this relaxation becomes a part of your natural routine. Find somewhere warm, comfortable and quite to sit and contemplate. play some relaxing music in the background and light a candle to create a "mood", you can sit and empty your mind of the events of the day or try a full body relaxation (I will explain this in a later blog)

March - Sleep Sleep is very important and is recommended you get at least seven to eight hours sleep each night. Now I know his can be difficult for some people, so here are a few tips I found to help yourself relax at night time:

Make sure your bed is comfortable and your room is dark and quite

Lavender oil. Place a few drops on your pillow at night.

Remove blue light (turn off all electronic lights)

If you find yourself worrying about something, write them down on a piece of paper and promise yourself you will deal with them in the morning.

 April - Challenge Negative Thinking  By challenging negative thoughts, it will make you stop upsetting yourself and getting you on the road to self-confidence! First think outside yourself, if you wouldn't say these things to someone else then why would you say them to yourself, stop allowing yourself to being "perfect" because nobody is perfect we all have flaw weather they are on the inside or outside. by surrounding yourself with positive people who care about you, it will make you feel more secure and happy no matter how upset or down you are.

May - The inner smile technique  Use this method next time you are feeling tense or stressed over something. In accident Chinese medicine a similar approach to this is said to activate the "tan tien" which is the energy store of your body. Think of something that makes you happy and allow this smile to travel within your body until it sits in your abdomen radiating warmth throughout your body.

June -  create goals  Sit comfortably. close your eyes. spend five or ten minutes thinking of goals and achievement you want to make in your life! let any ideas flow and write them down into a bucket list, it doesn't matter if you have one idea or a hundred write them all down and as you achieve them cross them off your list.

July - create a "Wellness Toolbox" A wellness toolbox is a way to come up with a list of "tools" which you can use to boost your mood. write these down and when you feel upset try using one of theses to lighten your mood, some of my example are:

Spending time outdoors

Reading books

Watching films (although not sad ones!)

Playing with animals

Listening to music

Doing something spontaneous

 August - walking Walking is a good way to get outdoors and breathing in fresh air. As you walk start to become aware of the texture of the ground. Enjoy the breeze on your face which down and touch the grass gently hold the head of a flower in your hands - Feel how soft the petals are.  Enjoy the sense that perfume again, bend down and smell flowers. Smell the bark of the tree and falling leaf. What can you hear? Tried to text small sounds often go unnoticed, such as the whistle of leaves, trickling water, chipping of birds and singing of crickets.  Explore the colours shapes and visual depths of your surroundings. Look into the near middle for distance to appreciate the variety of three-dimensional world. Trying to distinguish separate leaves on a tree. Practice excited different times of the year to see how your senses detect a change from season to season. 

September - accepting change  Change is an inevitable part of life. However, for some of us change can be upsetting and stressful, simply because we perceive that it takes away our sense of control. Do you only way to prevent change from causing stress is to let go of any desire to fight it, unlock on it rather as an opportunity to enjoy new experiences and develop new skills and strengths. Keep in mind that human’s beings are among the most adaptable lifeforms on Earth. It is completely within you to adapt as life demands it, if you cultivate an attitude of acceptance. Taoistis talk of the principle of wu wei - or “non-doing”. This does not mean that we literally do nothing, but rather that we avoid futile effort, allowing life to unfold in its own way. This is a good philosophy.  When change happens don’t try to force through it quickly (as if the sooner it is over with, the sooner you are back in control). Allowing things to occur naturally. Try always to look for the positives in any change. Something bad happens accept it and let it go.  October - Tips to go by These are a few tips I have learnt the hard way along my journey.

Reaching out is not a sign of weakness and you won’t be a burden to others by doing so

Talk to someone face to face (not through text or social media)

Turn to those how make you feel loved and cared for

Exercise is something you can do right now to boost your mood

Don't skip meals and try to eat healthier food.

November - taming your anger  When I'm put into a stressful situation, I tend to "snap" very easily. Here are ten ways I have learnt to tame my anger. 

Think before you speak

Once calm, express your anger

Exercise!

Take a timeout

Identify possible situations

Try not to place the blame on any one

Don't hold a grudge

Use humour to realises tension

Practise relaxation skills (more detail in future post)

Know when to seek help 

 December - unplug and unwind During this holiday season spend time with those you love and before the new year begins take time to clear your mind of all the negative things that happened in that year and focus only on the positives to take into the new year

I hope this post helps and gives you some advice on how to change your life. message me with any questions.  Keep smiling beautiful! Katie 

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The Only Way to Stop Haters From Ruining Your Life

“Haters’ gonna hate, hate, hate” song lyrics pop into my mind when I think about jealousy. This song takes on jealousy and haters in a light hearted way; to simply shake it off. However, it’s not that easy to shake off haters and jealousy. We all have a tendency to take negative comments to heart, even when we don’t know the person well. Everyone deals with haters and jealous people. Even Mother Theresa had criticism and hatred directed at her. It doesn’t matter who you are or what positive influence you are trying to make it the world; haters will always exist. Nobody is exempt from jealousy and hatred from others, we are all subject to its cruelty during life.

It can hurt even more to have a friend who is jealous, because the actions and emotional expressions of a jealous person are not kind or loving. When it comes from a friend or loved one, we take it more personally. However, you need to understand that their jealousy is caused by their own underlying issues and it is not your fault.

Most jealousy is rooted in feelings of inadequacy

The person sees something in you or another person that makes them feel that they aren’t as good. It could be real or imagined, but the feelings of inadequacy are projected through negative thoughts or actions. Jealousy emerges as a reaction or solution to those feelings of inadequacy. For example, a woman may be jealous of her friend who makes more money, has a nice car, and designer clothing. Rather than being happy for her friend’s success this woman feels that her income, car, and clothing are inadequate by comparison. She may feel like a failure in life because her success is not even on the same scale as her friend and they graduated at the same time with the same degree.

Instead of dealing with these underlying feelings of inadequacy, the jealousy turns into little digs and insults when they are together. The jealous friend makes comments such as “it must be nice to get a new car every two years” and “wow, that purse must have cost enough to feed a small village for a month”. Those comments that are coming out of jealousy may make the jealous friend feel better momentarily, but they don’t address the underlying feelings of inadequacy and thus the jealousy will continue until the problem is addressed.

Even if the jealous friend begins making more money, or gets a better car and clothing, she will find a new friend to be jealous toward or something else with the existing friend to be jealous about, because the inadequacy is the driving force. Jealousy is a powerful force.

However, there are ways for a person to handle a jealous person that can help disarm a jealous person or prevent oneself from being exposed to jealous comments and actions. There is not a one size fits all solution to dealing with jealousy and hatred. Each situation is unique and needs to be handled accordingly. Below are some tips on how to deal with jealous and hateful people.

Delete, delete, delete

The era of social media has made it increasingly easy for people to hide behind their computer screen to hurl insults and jabs at people they know or even do not know. Much of these insults are coming from the person’s jealousy which is based on their own feelings of inadequacy or dissatisfaction with their own lives. They take to social media and they have a protected platform by which they can insult others.

There is power in the delete button. If someone is saying something negative about you on your personal page or forum then delete their comments. If their behavior persists, then unfriend or block the person. If you don’t have the ability to delete their comments, then block the person, so you don’t have to subject yourself to their comments. They will no longer be able to see you in the online forum, so they will have to turn their jealous comments and hatred toward someone else.

You don’t have to tolerate online bullies. Delete them, to prevent yourself to being further subject to someone else’s jealousy that is based on their own insecurities. This is especially helpful if the person is not related to you or is simply an acquaintance. If it is a person in your life that you feel you cannot block on social media then you need to talk to the person about the issue head on.

Take the Issue head on

There are times when you cannot delete or avoid the comments of a jealous individual. No matter how you try to disarm the person by changing the subject, it doesn’t stop them. In those situations, the best option is to talk with them about what is happening.

Do not approach them at a time when you are angry, such as when an altercation or bout of jealousy has just occurred. Talk to them when you can be completely calm, rational, and you know what you want to say. Have your comments ready before you approach the person, so you know your talking points and have thought about their possible reactions. Talk to them in a way that you would want to be talked to, using kindness and empathy.

For example, if your co-worker is always calling out your mistakes in front of your boss, then approaching your colleague by saying “why the heck are you throwing me under the bus in front of the boss all the time?” may not cause a nice reaction. Approaching the person in such an abrupt and rude way is likely to cause a defensive reaction that will be equally if not more unkind. Instead, chose a kinder approach and you are more likely to get a response that seeks to understand where you are coming from and they are also more likely to recognize how you are feeling. Such a statement you could use in this example would be “I feel bad when you tell the boss things that I do wrong and it is affecting our working relationship, which I want to be a positive relationship”.

Taking on the issue of jealousy head on is especially important when it comes to family and close relationships. You want to improve those relationships, so let the person know that you are coming to them for that reason.

Remind yourself that it’s them and not you

Take a step back and pause when you are getting treated unfairly because of someone’s jealousy. Remind yourself that it is not you that has the problem, it is them. Their jealousy and underlying issues are causing them to act this way. Try not to take it personally. It is easier said than done. However, if you do pause and take the time to analyze why they may be acting jealous, you can begin to understand what may be motivating their behaviors, which then makes it easier to digest the circumstance.

For example, if you have a family member who is jealous of your family vacations and makes rude comments about how much money you spend on your vacations you can reflect on her life situation. Her husband is out of work and they are unable to take vacations for the time being. She has jealousy that is actually based in her own sadness that she can’t take vacations like you are right now. Recognizing that her feelings of jealousy are actually rooted in sadness and not any actual hatred toward you can make you empathize with her life situation. Your reaction can thus be more empathetic.

Perhaps you realize you shouldn’t talk about your vacations in front of her since it is a trigger point for her at this time. Life changes, and someday they may be taking vacations again soon. When she comes to tell you about her vacation then be the bigger person by listening, giving her positive responses while she talks, and restrain from telling about your latest vacation unless she asks you about it.

Being the bigger person is never easier, but with practice it does come more naturally. What you will discover over time is that people will naturally be more drawn to you when you are interested in talking about them and not yourself. Their jealousy will subside because the focus has been turned toward the positive that is happening in their life and not lack thereof because they are comparing themselves to you. 

Being the bigger person is especially important with family and close relationships. If you want your relationships to thrive, then show them that you love and care for them by talking about the positive in their life and avoiding anything about your life that may trigger their jealousy. The less you can talk about yourself, unless asked, the better, especially when it comes to someone who has jealousy issues with you.

Disarm them with positivity

Knowing that a person’s jealousy is rooted in their own insecurities, self doubt, and feelings of inadequacy can help you be more understanding and change your reaction when someone acts out in jealousy toward you. If a friend makes jealous comments toward you because of how perfect your home always looks then disarm them with a positive comment. For example, you could say “your garden is much prettier than mine, you certainly have a green thumb that I don’t have, its nice that we all have different strengths and abilities”.

Providing them with a compliment and also acknowledging that differences exist and that is normal and fine will help ease their own insecurities. You can’t compliment someone into happiness, but you can help disarm their negative comments that are rooted in jealousy if you provide them with positive feedback.

It is not always easy to compliment someone, especially if it is someone that your are not close to or you do not find them very likeable. However, it is empowering to them and to you when you practice positivity. It makes them feel better by helping them recognize the positive in themselves. It will also make you feel good when you help make someone’s day and life a little brighter.

Words carry power. Being a positive influence in the world, especially when it comes to a person who feels like they are less than you, is a powerful force. Help others to be better and do better by focusing on the positive, especially when negative comments are coming your way. If you are able to practice this method of disarming a jealous person it will become easier and more consistent over time. You will find that they will in time return the favor with compliments toward you and others. Showing love and using positive words to encourage can be infectious, so spread it among many and your community and world will become a better place.

Ignore and avoid

There is a slim percentage of this world that simply does not change no matter what tactic you use to disarm or disengage their jealous behaviors. These haters will hate you because you are too perfect, then they will hate on you the next day because of your faults.

You can never do right by some people. These people, once you recognize who they are, should be limited or cut out of your life. You don’t need someone who is continually trying to tear you down in life. Their own insecurities may be so deeply rooted that only professional help will help change their ways. Their behavior, if it is impeding on your life, and your attempts to make them stop have not worked allow you to cut ties with the individual with more peace of mind.

There is no rule in life that says you have to be friends with every person you know or encounter. There are some mean people in this world who will always be dissatisfied by their own life and thus insult and hate on others constantly. Don’t get sucked into their drama and insults. Avoid them, change jobs if the situation is severe enough that it affecting your mental well being and attitude in life. Don’t allow this type of person to be disruptive to your life. You have control over your life and who you spend time with. Anyone who is continually hurling insults at you out of jealousy is not deserving of your time and energy. If it is a family member, you can limit your time and exposure to the person. If you feel like you need to be around them in order to spend time with the whole family, then avoid direct interactions or make contact as brief as possible. If do interact, remind yourself again that their comments are based on their own unhappiness in life and have nothing to do with you.

You cannot control the way they act, but you can control how you react to this person. Chose the higher ground, which is not reacting to their negativity. Although it will still not be pleasant, not giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset can help you get over the situation more quickly and move on to more pleasant people and conversations. Don’t allow yourself to get cornered by a person you know is jealous of you, because the outcome will not be good. If you need to simply cut off the conversation and go somewhere else in order to avoid their comments, then do so, because you don’t need to allow yourself to be subject to anyone’s abuse.

Limit your exposure to such a person or cut them out entirely, because you are worthy of loving relationship. There are many people in this world. You don’t need to stick with friends or relationships that are salted with insults based out of jealousy. Life is too short and there are plenty of people in this world who do need a good friend or relationship. Eventually people who act this way out of jealousy will change if and when they realize nobody wants to be around their negativity.

Keep being you

Sometimes having haters is a sign that you are doing things right in life and are successful. People who are jealous of you know that you are doing well and they want that for themselves. Rather than investing their time in making their own lives, better they try to bring others down. Their insults, criticism, and hate are directed at those who they know are better than them, so they try to look for faults in those people so they can think they are better in one way or another. Their jealousy is rooted in their own failures and inadequacies in life.

Don’t allow these people to bring you down. Keep being you and keep being successful. Don’t allow someone else’s own failures to bring you down or prevent you from pursing your dreams. Often having people that dislike you in life is a sign that you are doing a lot right which is exactly why people don’t like you. You will never have favor with everyone you encounter. People will dislike you, especially when you remind them of their own shortfalls or failings. That’s part of the deal in being successful. The more successful you become the more you will find people will become jealous and thus negative commentary will be coming your way.

Do all you can to avoid, disengage, disarm, ignore, or cut these haters out of your life. However, it is not completely unavoidable, so when it does happen don’t allow the haters to stop you for what you are doing in life. Keep being you and remind yourself that their comments are based on their own failures and dissatisfaction with life and have nothing to do with you personally.

Focus on relationships that encourage

You can not make all people happy. There will always be people who will be jealous or hateful to you. It doesn’t matter who you are, everyone has haters. Rather than focusing on changing these people to like you, focus your time and energy on those relationships that are encouraging.

There are plenty of people in this world who are good, positive, and loving. They show love to others in their relationships because they treat others how they also want to be treated. Invest your time and energy with these type of people because they are of high value in your life.

The haters should be kept at arms length or further if possible. Don’t allow the negativity from hateful, jealous people to have power over your life. Chose to be close to people who encourage and support you and your life endeavors. Be of encouragement to those you love too. You will see that the encouragement and love become increasingly symbiotic which can be empowering for everyone involved.

You determine who you allow to influence your life. If you spend a great deal of time with someone who exhibits jealousy toward you, then you will not feel uplifted or encouraged. Seek out the relationships in your life that uplift you, encourage you, and help you become a positive influence in the world.

Relationships are powerful, so make sure yours are rooted in positivity, encouragement, and love. Forget the haters and deal with them only when needed.

The post The Only Way to Stop Haters From Ruining Your Life appeared first on Lifehack.

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[rapedbylife206-blog]

Dejavù seems to be the obvious reasoning behind this result/conclusion; Do you not agree? Could it be possibly be from an extremely vivid; realistically life-like; lucid dream, that you had once, long ago?? 🔮 Or even a vivid; lucid; realistic/life-like; subconsciously controlled; very, specially memorable; day-dream; that you had once upon a boring, spaced out glance that lasted a little longer than the 2 second-look. I used to dream about glamour life of celebrities. To elaborate specefically, Mostly famous/well-known; male actors/artists/models/vine-stars/internet or social media virals, filled my dreams of wanting to be with me, "fairytale love" or fairytale life with that famous male star. I guess, basically, any guy that was famous and gave me the perfectly; I'm perfect illusion of perfection and true happiness. Most celebrities are society's version of these1 of 4, judgemental and most of the time, spiteful diagnoses: Psychotic, Manic, Suicudal, or Extremely Unstable/Unstead; now with these being listed there are many more that could have been added to this list but I feel like they all could be evenly distributed underneath these 4 somehow/someway or another. Anyway, I went off track a little bit but I can draw it back in from the mental illnesses. All 4 of these mental challenges, mental disabilities, mental diseases or mental.."obstacles", as some of the more ignorant, less-educated tricks of society might, call it. I call, in the DNA or just human-like chances of receiving the trait and having one or more of these diagnoses on your medically; filled out completely and signed by a licsenced Doctor/Psychiatrist; medically, organized records, you are blessed, completely beyond measures. Don't you see, my lovely "crazies" of this world? You have the undeniable, irreplaceable, most reliable thing in your life, bitter-sweet, superpower-like ability to tap into what few people can even begin to have empathy towards others for. Our world is almost, completely filled and packed like a; distugsting, extra-salty, overly-rested, overly-fed, sourly-musty; can of sardines. In Today's World or "Modern-Day Society", our society, our Status Quo, if you will. It's so much like our High School days/times, living//competing among each other in the "United 50 States of America". It's still a free ass country; just got a couple quirks to work out, focus on the positive though.. If we can. So hypotgetiy speaking, if you end up deciding this decision; here are the things you will gain once you get a passport or a green card. Religious Freedom is gained!! Freedom of Speech!!! Freedom of Dress/To Express Yourself!!! Freedom to be Whoever the hell You Want to be!!!! Freedom To Vote, for your Home and for Your Leader!!!! Freedom to Love Whoever You Want To Love!!!! (LGBT RIGHTS) Freedom to get//not get a Great Education!!!!(::optional after the age of 16!!!!!)) Freedom to Defend Yourselves and be looked up to, as a Hero for it!!!!! Freedom to get more Mental-Health Assistance//help and a Mental-Health. Dissability-Check, Sign-Up!!!!! Freedom to express Yourself in WhatEver and However, You Want!!!!!! Freedom to -almost- ALL RIGHTS have either been passed or process of being Passed//Approved!!!!!! Freedom to Want, Feel, Talk, Express my feelings to WhoEver I want!!!!! (Just don't cause a public disturbance, especially while buzzing off of any Mind-Altering Substances)) We got a little bit of any and every type of Fashion//Style, that you could possibly want??? I designed all the clothes me and my 2, perfectly imperfect, beautiful girls. They can come out and instantly begin to gliw, the combination of their light/happiness and peace inside of them, shinning. Then, that beautiful, glowing spark is getting handled to the front of the yard//house. I needed it way closer than it was, lol. You know I'm a tiny, not so muscular-inclined, little lady, almost qualifies for a female midget.. Lol Awh, That'd be kind of almost cute. Would y'all still fw ya girl, if she found out that she was going to be Medically cleared for STD's and DISEASES; Clinically cleared for NO BABY BUMP ; Spiritually cleared for NO NASTY SPIRITS, got a vibe and a strong feeling for you to come back to check for demonic-like inteties or scars and markings; Physically cleared for my Check-Up, and I made a Physical--Check-Up Appointment, complete results, soon. Results, for everything else back, came clear!!!! You ever thought about which it would be, if you went back to your #1, absolute, favorite memory. Like would it go back to me being a baby-baby? I'm talking, when I could barely wash my hands alone, without making a mess!! When I could barely reach the sink or even the top of the counter. Awhh, 💕💕 ((:I was such a happy, mostly..positively charged, small combination of DNA//Atoms/Particles//Molocules!!)) You know, anytime that I don't have shoes on(Save a Lot Feet) and i'm trying to use my ballerina tricks, all the time wether in my toes, in my brain or in my heart. I gotta take a break and play with some other types ot tricks and stunts, at the age of 19, I will be doing what?? Unfortunately, doing nothing but being homeless, begging to sleep on a couch, always searching for food or my substance... Desperately. I never, ever, ever, in a million years thought I would be where I am today. I had such a good, sheltering, healthy, "normal-loving", how family members should be, you know? Back "in time", to a few months ago, or a few years ago. Wow, I don't even remember how long it's been since before I started fw it.... I don't remember about my life.(before or after, actually.) I remember standing there, trying to remember just a few weeks directly before it happened, then a few weeks. Directly after she began to come around a lot, lot, lot more... It was almost as if me, my heart and my drug, my drug were in the middle of a ceremony. We're going to do it when we can do it in-person... Am I right, Private Hill? I am at the right amount of intoxicatingly, fucked up, that I am, I'm numb(--inside-and-out--) Hell, to be completely honest, Iwouldn't mind being,"Comfortably Numb",you know? Like the "Greatest of All Time", also known as[, "The G.O.A.T.",], the one, the only...****drumroll**** The [G.O.A.T.] award goes to Pink Floyd🌈💦💜 Mmkay, it makes me super happy for a,d unbelievably proud of you!!!! Also, we aren't really doing anything, so maybe some celebration lines or drinks. Just a thought, babe 💁 Thought it might be some-what interesting lol. Music makes me feel feel so throw down and hear to the ground, it knows what to play. Ain't that some other shit, Do you wann lay me down, take your anger and frustration out on my body and let me love the negative vibes all out, make them go away papi💦. As it got darker and darker out side, it seemed as if the people of Henry County got hungrier and hungrier, Zaxby's got more and more packed. Strangely enough, then the memories won't go anywhere, I will figure out for some reason, why this isn't working and then I will prove my point to them, my family. I want to start getting prove of this, what is this, you may ask yourself?? Mhmmm... in life you will begin to realize that only about 4 thibgs, are almost guaranteed, so we can have some money, left over. I always carry very positive,uplifting sayings? Sayings? Lol. That's probably, my mind or my heart, possibly, who knows. Let's just tell me; the exploring, we have a compass or we can make one of those, along with how we can make a toasty asf fire, with S'mores!! Yummy! Toast some chocolate, get my graham crackers, all toasty like they supposed to be, you know?? I could begin to work on and maybe start the process to me finishing me. That blue hat, my blue, ball-cap hat, it looks kinda cute on her but definitely need a fw me, if you tryna fuck w me. Just thinking about, you know, normal,bubbky,19 year old's mind. Of course, racing with normal, awfully sad or just in happy thoughts about death and who some one cares for, will be next. Its scary, when nobody's got taken from you in awhile, I'll just be sitting here thinking to myself, you'll be sitting there, asking yourself, around the same questions. What do you think you'll be doing for either holidays? It would be nice to see her receiving some types of holidays, Give thanks with Christmas Cheer!!! 💕💕 This way I was kinda there for both holidays, just in case some great grandma's and great aunt's and pop's isn't doing too good. I'm sorry, I more than likely won't make it to the family holidays, I will have no ride and will I even be wanted there, probably be wanted there but the old me, not the new me, not her. My meme believes I can bring the old me, she doesn't believe that i just can't pull myself out of this. If not all the way, I fugures, I could keep him away from all that shit. I have to block out veiws of you, so I don't lose my head. I ripped these pictures out, I think I am going to fr am these up, frame to frame to frame, almost touching but it never touches. As long as I'm putting the interior design in, it will stay where frames do not move, they will look nice and neat and organized, no doubt.

[dogseatbelts-blog]

Do ‘Stop Abuse’ Sweatshirts (and other clothing) Do Anything to Help the Cause?

One thing is clear- abuse of any and every kind is bad. Whether it’s animal abuse or children’s abuse, it’s just bad, period. No party or entity was brought on this earth to be bullied and disrespected, and as a race and as a society, we should do more to ensure this. Of course, that’s not to say that there aren’t institutions today that try to advocate for better treatment of certain groups. There’s the Black lives matter movement, there are animal rights activists, and there are many more organizations in operation with the aim of making sure that nobody suffers the unfortunate feeling of abuse. Nowadays, people are getting more and more creative in finding ways to address issues, abuse included, and one of the ways that people are adopting is using shirts and clothes with ‘stop abuse’ on them or designing shirts that advocate for certain bad things to be stopped. This definitely helps whatever issue to be more seen, but does it do anything else for the cause beyond that?

I would argue that it helps to some extent, and it helps more if the issue is relatively unknown. We, as human beings, are visual animals; it is what we tend to see that we interact with more. If I saw someone wearing a shirt with, for example ‘cease dog abuse’ on it, it would, consciously or unconsciously, make me think about that cause. Whether or not it would prompt me to try and help in any way, however, would depend on me. After all, teachers teach and leave you to learn as well, and that is dependent on you as a student. The purpose of wearing such attire is to garner attention, and once the attention is there you can go on from there and group up and demonstrate or add another step that brings you closer to getting the outcome you desire. Besides, there is nothing like bad publicity right?

Also, I feel like any event you partake in, or any activity you perform that helps to shed light on a type of abuse that wasn’t really at the forefront of people’s minds is good. Being that all matters have different levels or degrees of importance, sometimes it happens that some abuse issues, although pertinent, are swept under the rug sometimes. In that case, anything that serves even as the subtlest reminder can do the cause a world of good. About a year ago, I watched a horrific video of an African nanny who mercilessly beat a 4-year old child who had been left in her care. Of course, I knew there was something like nanny abuse, but that video served as a reminder that just because it wasn’t something that significant attention was being paid to, did not mean it wasn’t very much alive. The video prompted me to actually go on the internet and search for ways parents and guardians were coming up with to combat the problem. It actually spurred me to read more into it, and a t-shirt can have the same effect too. For example, if I were to see a friend of mine wearing a ‘stop turtle abuse’ sweatshirt, my interest would definitely be piqued especially since turtle abuse is not a phenomenon I am familiar with, and I would likely ask some questions about it.

Wearing these kinds of shirts is also a relatively cheap and safe way to fight abuse. Buying a ‘black lives matter’(organization of black people that advocates for the equal treatment and civil rights of the black people) t-shirt won’t make you bankrupt, and wearing it while performing your daily routines and going about your business won’t get you into any trouble (unless you run into a gang of white supremacists). In a world where people are increasingly sensitive about voiced opinions, this (wearing these type of shirts) could be a much more hassle-free way of expressing yourself.

However, there are some reservations. I don’t believe that wearing these t-shirts alone help the cause you are fighting for, and it must be combined with some other activity. What real help is it if you wear a ‘black lives matter’ shirt but you don’t demonstrate? Wearing t-shirts alone about abuse isn’t an effective way of combating abuse. You have a sweatshirt on so what? People are truly moved by actions, not words on a shirt. Yes, you wearing a ‘stop abuse’ shirt might bring my mind to whatever negative thing that may be going on, but awareness is just a step towards the solution, not the solution itself. If you are able to grab my attention, you should be able to use it for your cause, and shirts alone won’t do that. It has to be combined with something. Wear a shirt and demonstrate. Wear a shirt and go around your neighborhood trying to educate people on the matter you are trying to find a solution to. Don’t just wear the shirt. That alone isn’t really effective. People wear shirts every day and their lives don’t change exponentially. You have to do more than that.

Also, on the subject of raising awareness, you find that if you want people to really hear and see what you are talking about, then the t-shirts should be worn by famous people. Time and time again we have seen celebrities who support NGOs and organizations that are dedicated to helping people and ridding the world of abuse and inequality. It is the use of celebrities, more often than not, that really brings the minds of many people to these types of issues. A regular person wearing a t-shirt may be able to get a few people interested in what they have to say, but celebrities reach masses. Let’s take actress and musician Selena Gomez for example. The Latin-American has over a 100 million followers on social media platform Instagram. If she posts a picture wearing a ‘stop abuse’ shirt, that is instant exposure to millions. This shows that the power of these type of t -shirts are limited to the person wearing them. If someone the whole world knows wears something like that, then its full potential will be harnessed.

Finally, this tactic of simply wearing clothes doesn’t do much to help the cases that are already well-known. For example, wearing a t- shirt about something so well-known like domestic abuse can’t really bring get anyone’s mind on it because it is already a prevalent issue. Get it? You can’t bring something to someone’s attention if it is already on their mind. This is why I believe that wearing these type of ‘stop abuse’ sweatshirts and clothes help more if the type of abuse being put on the shirt is relatively unknown.

Abuse is definitely something that we should use all the tools in our power to battle. It’s disgusting, no matter what shape or form it is. Using clothes is a good and creative way to try and raise both awareness about the different types and forms of abuse, and try to fight them. However, you are mistaken if you think that alone is enough to fight abuse. Like it or not, abuse is rampant and worldwide, and there has to be a more structured approach to tackling it because it is widespread. This is a battle that is going to take far more than just sweatshirts to win.

[trendingnewsb]

The Only Way to Stop Haters From Ruining Your Life

“Haters’ gonna hate, hate, hate” song lyrics pop into my mind when I think about jealousy. This song takes on jealousy and haters in a light hearted way; to simply shake it off. However, it’s not that easy to shake off haters and jealousy. We all have a tendency to take negative comments to heart, even when we don’t know the person well. Everyone deals with haters and jealous people. Even Mother Theresa had criticism and hatred directed at her. It doesn’t matter who you are or what positive influence you are trying to make it the world; haters will always exist. Nobody is exempt from jealousy and hatred from others, we are all subject to its cruelty during life.

It can hurt even more to have a friend who is jealous, because the actions and emotional expressions of a jealous person are not kind or loving. When it comes from a friend or loved one, we take it more personally. However, you need to understand that their jealousy is caused by their own underlying issues and it is not your fault.

Most jealousy is rooted in feelings of inadequacy

The person sees something in you or another person that makes them feel that they aren’t as good. It could be real or imagined, but the feelings of inadequacy are projected through negative thoughts or actions. Jealousy emerges as a reaction or solution to those feelings of inadequacy. For example, a woman may be jealous of her friend who makes more money, has a nice car, and designer clothing. Rather than being happy for her friend’s success this woman feels that her income, car, and clothing are inadequate by comparison. She may feel like a failure in life because her success is not even on the same scale as her friend and they graduated at the same time with the same degree.

Instead of dealing with these underlying feelings of inadequacy, the jealousy turns into little digs and insults when they are together. The jealous friend makes comments such as “it must be nice to get a new car every two years” and “wow, that purse must have cost enough to feed a small village for a month”. Those comments that are coming out of jealousy may make the jealous friend feel better momentarily, but they don’t address the underlying feelings of inadequacy and thus the jealousy will continue until the problem is addressed.

Even if the jealous friend begins making more money, or gets a better car and clothing, she will find a new friend to be jealous toward or something else with the existing friend to be jealous about, because the inadequacy is the driving force. Jealousy is a powerful force.

However, there are ways for a person to handle a jealous person that can help disarm a jealous person or prevent oneself from being exposed to jealous comments and actions. There is not a one size fits all solution to dealing with jealousy and hatred. Each situation is unique and needs to be handled accordingly. Below are some tips on how to deal with jealous and hateful people.

Delete, delete, delete

The era of social media has made it increasingly easy for people to hide behind their computer screen to hurl insults and jabs at people they know or even do not know. Much of these insults are coming from the person’s jealousy which is based on their own feelings of inadequacy or dissatisfaction with their own lives. They take to social media and they have a protected platform by which they can insult others.

There is power in the delete button. If someone is saying something negative about you on your personal page or forum then delete their comments. If their behavior persists, then unfriend or block the person. If you don’t have the ability to delete their comments, then block the person, so you don’t have to subject yourself to their comments. They will no longer be able to see you in the online forum, so they will have to turn their jealous comments and hatred toward someone else.

You don’t have to tolerate online bullies. Delete them, to prevent yourself to being further subject to someone else’s jealousy that is based on their own insecurities. This is especially helpful if the person is not related to you or is simply an acquaintance. If it is a person in your life that you feel you cannot block on social media then you need to talk to the person about the issue head on.

Take the Issue head on

There are times when you cannot delete or avoid the comments of a jealous individual. No matter how you try to disarm the person by changing the subject, it doesn’t stop them. In those situations, the best option is to talk with them about what is happening.

Do not approach them at a time when you are angry, such as when an altercation or bout of jealousy has just occurred. Talk to them when you can be completely calm, rational, and you know what you want to say. Have your comments ready before you approach the person, so you know your talking points and have thought about their possible reactions. Talk to them in a way that you would want to be talked to, using kindness and empathy.

For example, if your co-worker is always calling out your mistakes in front of your boss, then approaching your colleague by saying “why the heck are you throwing me under the bus in front of the boss all the time?” may not cause a nice reaction. Approaching the person in such an abrupt and rude way is likely to cause a defensive reaction that will be equally if not more unkind. Instead, chose a kinder approach and you are more likely to get a response that seeks to understand where you are coming from and they are also more likely to recognize how you are feeling. Such a statement you could use in this example would be “I feel bad when you tell the boss things that I do wrong and it is affecting our working relationship, which I want to be a positive relationship”.

Taking on the issue of jealousy head on is especially important when it comes to family and close relationships. You want to improve those relationships, so let the person know that you are coming to them for that reason.

Remind yourself that it’s them and not you

Take a step back and pause when you are getting treated unfairly because of someone’s jealousy. Remind yourself that it is not you that has the problem, it is them. Their jealousy and underlying issues are causing them to act this way. Try not to take it personally. It is easier said than done. However, if you do pause and take the time to analyze why they may be acting jealous, you can begin to understand what may be motivating their behaviors, which then makes it easier to digest the circumstance.

For example, if you have a family member who is jealous of your family vacations and makes rude comments about how much money you spend on your vacations you can reflect on her life situation. Her husband is out of work and they are unable to take vacations for the time being. She has jealousy that is actually based in her own sadness that she can’t take vacations like you are right now. Recognizing that her feelings of jealousy are actually rooted in sadness and not any actual hatred toward you can make you empathize with her life situation. Your reaction can thus be more empathetic.

Perhaps you realize you shouldn’t talk about your vacations in front of her since it is a trigger point for her at this time. Life changes, and someday they may be taking vacations again soon. When she comes to tell you about her vacation then be the bigger person by listening, giving her positive responses while she talks, and restrain from telling about your latest vacation unless she asks you about it.

Being the bigger person is never easier, but with practice it does come more naturally. What you will discover over time is that people will naturally be more drawn to you when you are interested in talking about them and not yourself. Their jealousy will subside because the focus has been turned toward the positive that is happening in their life and not lack thereof because they are comparing themselves to you. 

Being the bigger person is especially important with family and close relationships. If you want your relationships to thrive, then show them that you love and care for them by talking about the positive in their life and avoiding anything about your life that may trigger their jealousy. The less you can talk about yourself, unless asked, the better, especially when it comes to someone who has jealousy issues with you.

Disarm them with positivity

Knowing that a person’s jealousy is rooted in their own insecurities, self doubt, and feelings of inadequacy can help you be more understanding and change your reaction when someone acts out in jealousy toward you. If a friend makes jealous comments toward you because of how perfect your home always looks then disarm them with a positive comment. For example, you could say “your garden is much prettier than mine, you certainly have a green thumb that I don’t have, its nice that we all have different strengths and abilities”.

Providing them with a compliment and also acknowledging that differences exist and that is normal and fine will help ease their own insecurities. You can’t compliment someone into happiness, but you can help disarm their negative comments that are rooted in jealousy if you provide them with positive feedback.

It is not always easy to compliment someone, especially if it is someone that your are not close to or you do not find them very likeable. However, it is empowering to them and to you when you practice positivity. It makes them feel better by helping them recognize the positive in themselves. It will also make you feel good when you help make someone’s day and life a little brighter.

Words carry power. Being a positive influence in the world, especially when it comes to a person who feels like they are less than you, is a powerful force. Help others to be better and do better by focusing on the positive, especially when negative comments are coming your way. If you are able to practice this method of disarming a jealous person it will become easier and more consistent over time. You will find that they will in time return the favor with compliments toward you and others. Showing love and using positive words to encourage can be infectious, so spread it among many and your community and world will become a better place.

Ignore and avoid

There is a slim percentage of this world that simply does not change no matter what tactic you use to disarm or disengage their jealous behaviors. These haters will hate you because you are too perfect, then they will hate on you the next day because of your faults.

You can never do right by some people. These people, once you recognize who they are, should be limited or cut out of your life. You don’t need someone who is continually trying to tear you down in life. Their own insecurities may be so deeply rooted that only professional help will help change their ways. Their behavior, if it is impeding on your life, and your attempts to make them stop have not worked allow you to cut ties with the individual with more peace of mind.

There is no rule in life that says you have to be friends with every person you know or encounter. There are some mean people in this world who will always be dissatisfied by their own life and thus insult and hate on others constantly. Don’t get sucked into their drama and insults. Avoid them, change jobs if the situation is severe enough that it affecting your mental well being and attitude in life. Don’t allow this type of person to be disruptive to your life. You have control over your life and who you spend time with. Anyone who is continually hurling insults at you out of jealousy is not deserving of your time and energy. If it is a family member, you can limit your time and exposure to the person. If you feel like you need to be around them in order to spend time with the whole family, then avoid direct interactions or make contact as brief as possible. If do interact, remind yourself again that their comments are based on their own unhappiness in life and have nothing to do with you.

You cannot control the way they act, but you can control how you react to this person. Chose the higher ground, which is not reacting to their negativity. Although it will still not be pleasant, not giving them the satisfaction of seeing you upset can help you get over the situation more quickly and move on to more pleasant people and conversations. Don’t allow yourself to get cornered by a person you know is jealous of you, because the outcome will not be good. If you need to simply cut off the conversation and go somewhere else in order to avoid their comments, then do so, because you don’t need to allow yourself to be subject to anyone’s abuse.

Limit your exposure to such a person or cut them out entirely, because you are worthy of loving relationship. There are many people in this world. You don’t need to stick with friends or relationships that are salted with insults based out of jealousy. Life is too short and there are plenty of people in this world who do need a good friend or relationship. Eventually people who act this way out of jealousy will change if and when they realize nobody wants to be around their negativity.

Keep being you

Sometimes having haters is a sign that you are doing things right in life and are successful. People who are jealous of you know that you are doing well and they want that for themselves. Rather than investing their time in making their own lives, better they try to bring others down. Their insults, criticism, and hate are directed at those who they know are better than them, so they try to look for faults in those people so they can think they are better in one way or another. Their jealousy is rooted in their own failures and inadequacies in life.

Don’t allow these people to bring you down. Keep being you and keep being successful. Don’t allow someone else’s own failures to bring you down or prevent you from pursing your dreams. Often having people that dislike you in life is a sign that you are doing a lot right which is exactly why people don’t like you. You will never have favor with everyone you encounter. People will dislike you, especially when you remind them of their own shortfalls or failings. That’s part of the deal in being successful. The more successful you become the more you will find people will become jealous and thus negative commentary will be coming your way.

Do all you can to avoid, disengage, disarm, ignore, or cut these haters out of your life. However, it is not completely unavoidable, so when it does happen don’t allow the haters to stop you for what you are doing in life. Keep being you and remind yourself that their comments are based on their own failures and dissatisfaction with life and have nothing to do with you personally.

Focus on relationships that encourage

You can not make all people happy. There will always be people who will be jealous or hateful to you. It doesn’t matter who you are, everyone has haters. Rather than focusing on changing these people to like you, focus your time and energy on those relationships that are encouraging.

There are plenty of people in this world who are good, positive, and loving. They show love to others in their relationships because they treat others how they also want to be treated. Invest your time and energy with these type of people because they are of high value in your life.

The haters should be kept at arms length or further if possible. Don’t allow the negativity from hateful, jealous people to have power over your life. Chose to be close to people who encourage and support you and your life endeavors. Be of encouragement to those you love too. You will see that the encouragement and love become increasingly symbiotic which can be empowering for everyone involved.

You determine who you allow to influence your life. If you spend a great deal of time with someone who exhibits jealousy toward you, then you will not feel uplifted or encouraged. Seek out the relationships in your life that uplift you, encourage you, and help you become a positive influence in the world.

Relationships are powerful, so make sure yours are rooted in positivity, encouragement, and love. Forget the haters and deal with them only when needed.

The post The Only Way to Stop Haters From Ruining Your Life appeared first on Lifehack.

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