#its a statistics quiz and i think i know how to do the things and we're allowed to have notes

[newtness532]

i wasn't that worried about tomorrow's quiz but as time passes i become more and more worried

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

hi i’m that one person who was upset about a sonadow sex joke you made. let me preface by saying i’m not here to argue or scare you but to apologize.

you don’t have to respond to this at ALL i just saw your blog name and felt guilty for hurting you.

im sorry about upsetting you and reacting the way i did. i still think its eugh and everything. but i just get upset when people make jokes about that with characters previously stated to be minors because of personal trauma and people sexualizing me as a kid and just morals in general. of course i know that i can’t control how people enjoy their stuff, and i know it’s going to exist regardless. but i want to at least know if who im interacting with is someone i don’t want to talk to due to being a proshipper or whatever stuff like that.

i wasn’t trying to ‘cancel’ you or anything. i was upset and said something in the moment. i’m sorry. i should have just unfollowed and moved on. i should’ve saw the human i knew behind the screen but what i could only think of was a random person i didn’t know. i’m really sorry.

well, anon, i accept your apology. but also i dont. so let's take this one by one, okay?

first of all. you're still wrong, and i'm still angry.

it wasnt a "sex joke", i was commenting on a uquiz someone else made, because i found the sheer fact that sonadow of all ships was included in that quiz to be really funny. not to mention, the uquiz was based on statistics from ao3, and i guessed the correct answer by just knowing how shipping culture works. i thought this was funny. you know, people are allowed to find suggestive humor funny, even if you're uncomfortable with it, anon.

but i'll humor you. lets say i was doing the things i got accused of doing. big deal. i don't think you're wrong for being upset, much less for being uncomfortable, but one: could've settled this over dms, two: not everyone is you. not everyone is uncomfortable. not everyone cares so much. i didn't give that joke more than two seconds of thought, you clearly did, and i don't think you're wrong for that, i think it wasn't my problem.

secondly, and this will sound horrible, but (like i said) your discomfort isn't something i (the people running that oc poll, and my followers, by the way) needed to know about. i hear you, anon, and i'm sorry that all that happened to you. i understand the discomfort. but, like i said, we could've settled this in private, you could've at least told me which mutual you were, and no one else had to know.

third: i am not a proshipper, and i don't appreciate that you're still calling me gross, by the way. this isn't an apology if you're not accepting you were wrong. i'll humor you again and say that i was doing what you say i was doing: it is not that serious to me, and i don't like being called gross for something that is just plain, morally neutral weird (not good, not bad, neutral weird)

and fourth: thank you for at least recognizing what you should've done. however you didn't do that. from what i understand, based on what happened shortly after your anon, you went to the person running that sonic oc poll (which, whatever, i was losing anyway), and you lied about what i was doing to get me kicked out. good on you for realizing that was wrong. but you know, i'm still angry. im banned from many fandom events now because you couldn't just unfollow me. so i'm glad you realized it was wrong, i accept your apology, but i'm still very much angry with you.

i'm glad you're sorry, i'm glad you're recognizing i'm a human being (okay?) and i'm glad you at least tried to apologize. don't call me gross, apologize for real, and next time don't do this to someone through tumblr anon over whats essentially a common ocurrence on the sonic fandom, and every other fandom

(by the way, even if we weren't mutuals, you shouldnt do something like this to "a random person you don't know" either, but what do i know right? and "because of my trauma" isn't an excuse, because by that logic you also generated trauma in me, because now i'm fucking paranoid about everything i fucking post. i can thank you for that.)

have a nice day.

by the way

[falconcoast]

As a uni student, what about how both y/n and tighnari cope with the weeks before finals and finals week? Its actual hell where professors give out hard quizzes pre-exams (in my case) and assignments with unrealistic deadlines :<

college au vi | tighnari x reader

masterlist

you and tighnari are almost out of the woods for this semester. emphasis on almost. your professors aren't going to let you off easily. you and tighnair decide to cope as best you can.

a/n: dedicated to ME because i had: two physics tests, a make-up AP test, the worst calc final in the history of calc finals, a book to finish in ten days, an essay, and a shit ton of extracurriculars in the last two weeks. this drabble is on the shorter side for that reason. for my babes still working their asses off: you got this i believe in you!

one of the greatest features of your shared apartment with tighnari is your giant, weekly whiteboard calendar. it sits above your couch in your living room, noting every little project, assignment, study session, and due date. with two more weeks left to go, the calendar is an absolute mess of green and blue markers.

tighnari places a book over his eyes, groaning and slowly slinking his body down the living room couch. his variously shaded folders were scattered on one half of the coffee table. the other was a smattering of assorted papers, all trying to accomplish one more essay before the end of the semester.

"i swear, steric effect has never and will never relate to the functions of biology or plant sciences. i hate organic chemistry!" he blurted, throwing the book down.

"oy, don't treat your books like that. i know that thing costs at least five million mora," you scold softly. relenting, you sigh. "but you're right. it's unfair that all of our professors decided to dump our work right now. my statistics quiz went awfully because i was studying for my public speaking class. who the hell needs to know all thirteen logical fallacies for a communications class?!"

"here, i've been studying for way too long. i'll go make us a snack, and then we can take a break later, okay?" he pets your head as he heads to the kitchen.

you slump by your laptop, looking over your essay again. you knew that college course loads were going to be difficult, but your english professor assigning an essay yesterday and making it due two days after was absolutely ridiculous. and after this, you still had your history final on thursday, and three more analysis paragraphs for critical argumentation class, and--

you think you are going to die before you make it to the end of the semester.

tighnari comes back as you correct a few more spelling errors and cite a few more sources. he sets down a mug of tea in front of you, alongside some fresh fruit. sighing, he looks at the clock. "we've been doing nothing but study and go to class for the last five days. we should go to bed now."

you yawn at the suggestion, feeling that coffee you took at seven PM wearing off. "no, no, i gotta stay awake. this stupid paper is more important."

"your paper won't be worth anything if you oversleep tomorrow."

you blink once or twice at that remark slowly. if you were a little less sleepy, you would bark out some sarcastic response. instead, you sip the rest of your tea and lean back on the couch. you blink slower, and slower yet.

as your vision goes dark, you can hear tighnari sigh a little. "exhausted, i see. we'll have to incorporate some stress relieving tactics the rest of this week. healthy snacks, a run, peaceful music, and a long overdue nap is imminent," he murmurs, as if diagnosing you. he settles next to you, placing a blanket over both of your shoulders.

as you begin to sleep, he swears that your lips twitch up in a smile as you tilt to press against his chest.

[honeybeewhereartthee]

Madness Mansion of Helter Spider

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦Previous꒷︶꒷꒦˚Prologue꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦Next꒷︶꒷꒦˚

" look at this MC... What a pretty spider." Your friend point out a black widow that is very close to bite it's venomous fangs into her poking finger.

" If it bite you, I will handle the coffee and bread for your funeral." You smile and smack her away from spider. The spider skelter away back to its nest.

"Awwy... ಥ_ಥ" (friend)

"Unless this is spider verse and you wish to be spiderman wanna be, then go ahead and touch poisonous spider... "

" GASP! BUT IT'S TOO PRETTY! " (Friend)

"... In the law of wild. Having catchy appearance means it's either poisonous, pretending to be the poisonous or to catch preys... There's more reason. But I'm not casual geographic nor a paid professor to tell you stuff. "

" MC you watch too many YouTube videos... " Your friend point out. " Don't your guardian told you off about that. "

" I'm just being updated about stuff. But of course it don't include gossip of showbiz and entertainment industry. "You mumble, maybe you did also updated on those stuff too since it went to your recommendation.

" Well based on self knowledge learn in YouTube and internet, I can say if we ever kicked out to the wild when we fail our academics, you and I won't die from poisonous spiders and pretty tiny octopus. Because certain someone would be "omg look so pretty" and poke the damn thing. " You proudly says while petting your friend head, such an idiot.

" ARE YOU INTERNALLY CALLING ME AN IDIOT?!" She dramatically gasp and smack your hand away. Crying crocodile tears of how cruel the world is to have a friend like you.

" you know me too well." You smile.

"You aren't even denying it!? " Even more dramatic gasp. "WE ARENT BEST FRIENDS ANYMORE ;((" she point at me.

"We're not bestie anymore...?!" You too dramatically fall in the ground before you pulled your bag and take out the limited edition cakes from the new shop down town.

"I guess I will only eat this alone... me bestieless rude and cruel person..." You weep while opening the container, noticing how she eyeing the cakes when she saw her favorite flavor. "Nom nom... " You happily eat it in front of her eyes.

"... BESTIE, CAN I HAVE SOME?!" not able to handle the temptations of the cakes she give up on her tantrum and hugs you from behind and reach out to get the whole container from your hand.

"... I don't even say yes yet..." You mumble as you watch her, Kirby the fucking thing. "I realize if we ever stuck in the wild, your gonna get ya self killed if someone dude offer ya food and stuff." You point out.

"If the person is good looking and offering me an apple, I will gladly eat it and stare at the person while I do." She added and nodded to your words.

"... Gott. Why are you the honor student from the two of us again??* You rub your head from thinking your friend would surely be kidnap.

"Being academic smart is different being wise in wild life. ( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)" she point out. " Beside your there to handle the wild life knowledge

.♡(ӦｖӦ｡)" She smiled.

"... Gott. So your going to openly says I'm your nanny then. " You face palm but Chuckle, not a bit offended by it.

" It's okii. Beside, letting you copy my homework when you forget about it from watching too much non related academic stuff. "

It was your turn to gasp at her audacity to call you out.

":V WELL STATISTICS WONT SAVE YOU FROM BEING EATEN BY LIONS! "

" Is that why you forget about the assignment from one week ago and have to ask and cram it in the last 5 minutes before class??... What about the quiz in (hated subject #1) ? Did you watch some bees way of life or something... " The look of disappointment she's giving you gives you slap each words she says.

" F-for your information I don't watch bees ( I already finish all clips about that one year ago!) and watch missing people documentary! " You take out your phone and show over forty missing people over the spawn of few years.

They call it [ Lost in Wonderland ] as there reported cases that those people before they disappear, they were seeing a wild rabbit running around, or Thay they are reading that curse Alice in wonderland in 3am or something like that.

"That's sound like a stupid name for a missing people case." She point out. "People adding the coincidence and says it related to a children book. What a full of crap."

"HEY! THOSE PEOPLE ARE MISSING AND YOUR SASSING OUT THE CASE FILE NAME?"

"ITS INSULTING TO MY FAVORITE STORYBOOK, OK?!" she then proceed to take out a book, similar to the one said in the news. " THATS WHY ILL DEBUNK IT!"

"... Can I have your cat if you suddenly went MIA."

" DONT YOU DARE TOUCH MR MARSHMALLOW! I WILL MAKE YOU FAIL TOMMOROW QUIZ AND WONT LET YOU COPY MINE!" The cat lady have become mad.

" Ó╭╮Ò YOU NEVER LET ME TOUCH MR. MARSHMALLOW, YOU CRANKY CAT LADY!"

" YOU SAID HIS SO FAT, HE COULD MAKE THREE BATCHES OF SIOPAO AND DUMPLINGS!"

The two of you bicker, jokes and laugh around even how other in the public park is looking at you two like two weirdos yet you two don't care since you two are just having fun and don't give shit what they think.

...

"... I don't know if I should cry, laugh or mock you." You mumble as you look at the missing poster of your friend. Who did what she said about debunking the so called lost in wonderland case being related to her favorite book. She was the one debunked to Netherworld.

Meow. Meow meow

"Mr. Marshmallow turn out to be a girl and was fat cause of her babies... Smh. (• ▽ •;)" You don't know what to say as you held the poster and seating on the sidewalk thinking what to do with the litter of kittens and the huge cat since her mother throw the cat out of their house blaming it for bad luck. Mr. Marshmallow is a black cat after all. Big fluffy cat.

"...huhu....*hic." As the moment have passed by, tears fall from your eyes. As reality drown to you, that your friend is gone (probably cause of stupidity) and the police have shitty policy about not looking for the missing person if it's not 48h. Like they are so dumb what if the person is tortured and in need of help?

"I... Probably should leave it to authorize." You mumble as you tearfully went home with Mr. Marshmallow and her kittens.

"I will leave it to the authority." You pulled out a bag and put bunch of things in it. Takes out toy gun and bunch of bullets and put it to the bag, container of food and a lighter.

"Like hell I will. ಠ_ಠ. Those people won't do shit till 48h." You feed the kittens when you went passe them.

You went to change cloths and slept after putting an alarm. When the clock strict 3am. You pick up the curse book and look at Mr. Marshmallow who meow looking at you as you put the book over the fire. "I'm gonna burn this thing." You thought that if you burn it, no one would be a victim anymore. IF that relation of the case is indeed correct.

"Alice in fucking Wonderland by (redacted)." You read the book title while having a backpack on your back, In case something abnormal happened.

You did vandalized it and wrote some stuff on the cover and edited some part from a random page. Now it's { Alice In the twisted wonderland }

As you burn the book, you notice the ink pouring out but alas, you pour holy water in it but it release an odd odor that cause you to cover your nose how bad it is.

"I don't know, some satan probably gonna say I'm dumb or something." You mumble. Mr. Marshmallow meow and walk toward you, purring while she rubs her head on your leg.

"If things goes bad. I left a note. And it also mean I will miss the exam tomorrow..." You probably really dumb and over think this. But if it's the truth, your burning the thing that dragged people to wonderland.

{ Don't you know, that destroying other property is a bad thing ~? }

You heard a voice spoke behind you, Mr. Marshmallow on your hands went defense mood when a person appear before you, you pulled you toy gun. "DEMON! >:( YOU KIDNAP MY FRIEND."

{ Oh~? But how could you blame me~? What if your imagining everything~?}

"...well I don't have reputation with how crazy I act in public. So I don't think I have anything worth to save for." You point out. " Give me back my friend!"

{ My, how mad you are... Blaming someone " innocent" }

" You sound untrustworthy when you said " innocent" part." You rolled your eyes.

{ I don't usually deal with madman, as I made mad man out of all Alice. }

You look at the stranger

"... My friend is already mad. I guess, I did blame you😃" you now felt bad as you realize your the one at wrong.

{ Too late! I decided you have to deal with the consequences of burning one of my books! Off you go to where you belong~ }

The demon snap his hand, suddenly there's a bunch of crawling poisonous eight legged creatures appear in each corner of the room.

{ Your not the only madman who tried demand such thing from me, of course I give what they demanded now they all become mad~ but one should know. I am but a guide not a fairy that grant wishes~ I am Grim~ now don't get eaten~ }

"I DONT WISH FOR THIS?? HOLY IS THAT BANANA SPIDER? OH GOTT THATS ANOTHER POISONOUS ONE!"

your screams wasn't able to be heard anymore as you where surrounded by spiders and soon the mass of spider become a pool of ink, disappear to the book that written to it's original form.

{ Naughty kitty ~ face your punishment~ welcome to the madness mansion! Hopefully your able to survive~}

The demon called grim voices echoes to the darkness before you felt falling and hitting someone.

.

┌──❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚─┐

Because of Request.

Free to choice who's the unfortunate

Crazy:b who you LITERALLY fallen into.

└───❀*̥˚───❀*̥˚┘

»»————-　note　————-««

Hey! This is a interactive story! (●´u`●) the story would enter a scene where you choice an action or character in certain occasion! Btw the story would only move to the next scenario when one responded~ first answers priority but action and simping on the response will be added to the flow of the next scenario! Through if you commented and the next scenario already happened. It won't do change to the story!

Based on the settings and lore of the world and the situation, the ending is up to you~ through it be mc gaining a role, surviving, have a love interest, able to leave the place or even becoming a past tense (ded) is based on response ~

BTW, YOU SHOULD KNOW, YOU ENTER THE WORLD ILLEGALLY. (• ▽ •;) 3 OUT 4 WOULD MOST LIKELY KILL YOU IN THE SPOT. (・_・;) but of course guess correctly who will be your lucky charm for victory (◕દ◕)but then if you beg, you can survive each one of the dangerous spiders.

(if want to be tagged pls comment or Send mail) Tag List : @crispm-75 @yinenovica

[fillthedarkvoid]

I know more then one. But I don't want to go. They are scary.

👾 this octopus is trying to scare you. It could also be cheering for a friend or coming at you for a hug.

🤹 could be a juggling. But could also be a guy having 4 thoughts at the same time. All of them are not really related.

🪂 I don't know. Just what it is? Parachute? What is that?

🪵ohhh this is a little bit of wood and you are going to sculpt it. Look at all its potential. It can still take on so many shapes. Imagine.

🕸️ HALLOWEEEN. also a spiders web.

🥮 It is an art version from pacman. See the shape? See the maze? See the little thingy it is eating?

🫙well you could put fireflies in there. But maybe they will not hug you. You don't know. Listen to the song.

🥤this is just soda. But since it is not in a bottle. It will be watered down by way too many ice cubes. Somehow you will still prefer this over bottled soda.

🧂for salty comments

🛞for when someone is inventing something that already existed (is this a dutch thing? I can't rembemer)

🗾well it is a country and it is in love. See the little heart at the bottom? Well I don't know what country this is. (Japan?) It could also be a dinosaur leg that is green and shatered.

🗺️ you send this to someone and point somewhere on this emoji and they should know what the country is. Like a quiz.

🧨 dynamite? Usually it does not look like that right?

🎇 ohhhhhh (sterretjes, sterretjes) <- like the dutch name for that firework for kids.

🥍 advanced device for throwing the ball for your dog, or lacrosse. Whatever.

🃏the one card that will make everyone annoyed when this is how you win the game. Lucky basterd.

📟 what is that? No really? What is that?:

📠 this is a printer. And however nice that may sound. It does not print.

💴 yen. Money for anime

🧮 you still counting like that? This is how you make fun of a friend that is smart but somehow messed up adding 3 and 6.

⚖️ for having a balanced life. Or scale. Well unless the person thinks a balanced life is by not eating so many foods or essential oils or other stupid bullshit. Then you just hit them with this device.

🪢ohhhhh a knot. It is for knotting two ropes of different width together. (I only know the dutch name for this one, we say platte knoop)

🧴old cough syrup. You can interpret that however you want. Like the herbs mix in your moms fridge that has been there at least 15 years that she still drinks, just because it tastes good. Or like from some time back when you could still put chlorine in it.

🧣 this is a scarf but it is a sign that the person wearing it is invisible.

🔖when capitalism starts selling the stars.

📊 statistics. Will tell you how many of these emojis I explained in a weird way (green) out of hyperfocus from the past or now (orange) or just overall not or badly (blue)

📇 book but holding it wrong? What is that?

🔅 ohhh this is the symbol for brightness. You know for screens ( but also the word we use for how smart someone is :))) you can also use it as a cute little sun

✴️ what did they do to this orange? (You are only seeing a little piece. But someone skinned a bit in the shaped of a star)

🎌 to japanese flags. Used for?? Uh declaring you are both japanese?

🧑‍🦰🧌🚏🗻🧾🪆🥻🕙🔏📿⚜️

A selection of rarely relevant emojis

[teddy06writes]

A Day In The Life

requesred by this genius anon: “Aight imma hit you with a good one: Literally everything as platonic, but a day in the life of reader in high school with the minor gang (too my, tubbo, ranboo) and all the faculty at the school are dreamsmp members”

Platonic! Minors gang (tommy, tubbo, ranboo and purpled) x reader

trigger warnings: none

premise: a day in the life of a student at the DSMP public high school 

{with all the shit that goes on the smp there's no way it could be anything but a public school}

{also if I do things slightly off or something its cause my high school is weird, we only have four blocks a day, but I think most have seven, so we’re going with that}

{also the dream/george thing, is based on two of the sciences teachers at my school being suspected of having an affiar}

{Full teacher list:

English: Mr. NotFound

Drama: Mr. Soot

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

Gym: Coach Sapnap and Coach Punz

Home ec: Miss Nihachu

Music: Mr. Quackity

Chemistry: Mr. Halo}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home room: Mr. Callahan

You sighed, trudging toward the school entrance, god it was way to early for this. 

The halls were already crowded with people heading to there home rooms, and Mr. Minecraft, the principal, was standing outside the admin offices, greeting everyone with a smile. 

“Good morning, (y/n).” 

“Good morning Mr. Minecraft.” You grumbled as you passed. 

You hurried through the foyer and up the stairs, toward Mr. Callahan’s room. 

“Hey!” Tubbo called, hurrying down the hallway, “(y/n)!”

“Hey Tubbo.” you yawned.

He fell into step with you, “You think Callahan will actually show today?” 

The one good thing about your home room teacher is that none of the kids ever seemed to have seen him. It meant that some days, while other home rooms had lectures of bullying or something, your class got to hang out for 30 minutes. 

“I don’t think he even exists.” Purpled said, falling in on your other side. 

“He definitely doesn’t.” You agreed. 

~~

History: Mr. Blade

“Hey (y/n)!” Ranboo called from his seat at the front of the room as you came in. 

He was lucky enough to have moved homerooms and ended up getting the same room as his first block. 

“Hello Ranboo.” you sighed, sitting down in your seat next to him. 

Tommy came in and plopped down behind you, “Well you sound like shit.”

“No swearing in my classroom, Tommy.” Mr. Blade chided, hardly looking up from the book on his desk. 

You turned to look at Tommy, “It’s too early for this.” 

“You say that everyday!” He laughed. 

“Yeah! Cause this class starts at 7:45 in the god damn morning!” You half exclaimed. 

“Bloody hell you’d think you’d get used to it-” 

“Tommy, what did I say about swearing?” Mr. Blade cut Tommy off. 

“But you didn’t yell at (y/n)!” Tommy yelled, “That’s not fair Tech!” 

Me. Blade glared at his brother, “Do you want me to send you down to Phil’s office Tommy?” 

“I didn’t even do anything!”

After a moment under Mr. Blades glare, Tommy sighed, “Please don’t send me down to Phil.” 

The teacher didn’t respond, instead standing up and moving to stand in front of the board, queuing up the intro slides for the day, “All right everyone, settle down. Today in our ‘tour of the ancient world’ or whatever, we’re going to start our mini unit on Greece.”

~~

Statistics/Math: Mr. Was Taken

After a class that ended mostly in a rant about the myth of Heracles, you said goodbye to Ranboo and Tommy and met up with Purpled to head to math. 

Mr. Wastaken was already passing out the notes when you two got there, sliding into your seats at the back of the classroom just as the bell rang. 

“You’re late.” He chided, dropping the papers onto your desk, then Purpleds. 

“Purp needed to refill his water bottle.” You explained. 

“Seriously?” Mr. Wastaken questioned, “Dude, it’s second block, why the hell was your water already empty?” 

Purpled shrugged, “P.E?” 

“Ehh, wrong, Sapnap doesn’t have you till sixth period.” 

“Stairs... are murder man.” He fumbled. 

You nodded, “First floor to the fourth floor is tough Mr. Wastaken.” 

Rolling his eyes, the teacher moved back to the front of the room, “Alright, last nights homework was a bit of a flop so we’ll be more review for the quiz tomorrow.” 

You groaned internally, pulling out your pencil. 

Purpled nodded, “I fuckin hate review days.” 

“I can hear you, you know!” Mr. WasTaken half yelled. 

~~

Chemistry: Mr. Halo

After Math you and Purpled headed down to the science hall to meet back up with Tubbo to head to Chem. 

“Welcome back everybody!” Mr. Halo greeted cheerily, “Good to see smiling faces for chemistry!” 

How he managed to stay so upbeat, no one would ever know.

You sat down at your lab table with Tubbo, “You think we actually make it to doing the lab today before he starts talking about Mr. Skeppy again?” 

“Oh no chance.” 

You chuckled, pulling out your notebook as Mr. Halo pulled up the opening review before the lab. 

Twenty minutes later found you elbow deep in the lab, quite literally. 

“It was supposed to just be a small scale elephants toothpaste!” Mr. Halo cried. 

Purpled grinned, “You should’ve taken my wildcard factor into account sir.” 

You laughed, wiping the foam off your apron (thank god for lab aprons), “That was brilliant!” 

A few minutes earlier, Tubbo had helped him do out the math to scale up the experiment by 20%, and you had willingly given up your own materials to help.

Now most of the classroom was covered in the foam, and Purpled and the girl who had been unfortunate enough to be partnered with him were knee deep in it. 

“I sent the video to the groupchat.” Tubbo whispered.

“Good.” You chuckled again. 

Mr. Halo groaned, “You three start cleaning this up, Elizabeth, dear, why don’t you join a different group.”

“I volunteer to switch with her!” Drista yelled, “they look like fun!” 

Mr. Halo sighed, “No- no absolutely not- I can’t deal with you added to the mix.” 

Drista pouted, the rest of the class went back to there work, and you, Tubbo and Purpled began to clean up the foam. 

~~

Drama: Mr. Soot

As Purpled left for his history class, you and tubbo headed twoard the music/performing arts suit, where you met up with Ranboo. 

“Tommy said he wished he could’ve been there to see the foam.” Ranboo reported as Tubbo peeled off into the band room, and you both continued on to the green room. 

“Hello, Hello, Hello!” Mr. Soot greeted in an aussie accent (you know the one). 

“Oh god please say were not doing accents today.” Ranboo muttered. 

Mr. Soot laughed, “Nah, we’re going to do some more rounds of improv.” 

“Oh thank god.” You said as you moved to take a seat at one of the side tables. 

“That would have been hell.” Ranboo agreed. 

More people poured into the room, take seats all around as Mr. Soot began to dig through on of the closets. 

As the bell rang he let out a triumphant cheer, turning around and brandishing a very large bowl of paper slips, “I found the prompts!” 

“Oh dear lord.” Ranboo muttered.

“Mr. Soot can we please do like, anything else?” You asked, “Like scenes, or hell I’d even take monologues, you know we’re all shit at improv!” 

The teacher sighed, “I suppose we could do something else. I guess we can begin our next topic, you’re all going to be assigned scenes and given time to practice them, we’ll present on Friday!” 

The entire class breathed a sigh of relief that you had managed to change his mind. 

~~ English: Mr. NotFound 

After a very chaotic lunch full of Tubbo retelling a bunch of jokes Mr. Quackity had told during music,  you trudged off to the one class that didn’t have any of your main group of friends in. 

The one good thing about having Mr. NotFound as a teacher was that he had no clue what he was doing. 

More often then not you would be left to do essays or read the required books, and then watch the movies that went along with them.

And, just your luck, your English block happened to take place during Mr. Wastaken’s prep period. 

“Right, everyone, today’s a work day, finish up anything you need to for this class, or another, and I’ll put on a movie.” Mr. NotFound said as soon as everyone was seated. 

Ten minutes into the movie the teacher had left, and you pulled up the group chat.

(y/n): Mr. NotFound has yet again suspiciously left during class. 

Purp: sus

Purp: just went by WasTaken’s room

Purp: he’s not there

BooBoy: I saw him down in the science hall ten minutes ago

BeEs: Science hall is oposite to English isn’t it

(y/n): yeah it is

BooBoy: very sus

Purp: I swear their having an affair

BeEs: defintly a lesbian

BeEs: *leassion

BeEs: lesion

BeEs: le-a-zon

BeEs: you know what I mean!

BooBoy: take your time Tubbo

You chuckled quietly, putting your phone down to look back up at the movie on the screen. 

~~

Spanish: Mr. Dream (its mexican dream lol)

“AYYYY kids!”

You groaned as your Spanish teacher burst into the room.

“What is with this guy?” Tommy muttered. 

“ayy man not cool.” Mr. Dream said. 

“Mr. Dream your ten minutes late!” Someone pointed out. 

“SHut up man. And I told you just call me Mexican Dream!” The teacher said. 

You frowned, “That doesn’t make sense, theres no way your first name is ‘mexican’.” 

“Well its not,” He explained, “But its cause I’m the Mexican version of that math teacher!” 

“Why couldn’t I have taken French like Boo and Purp?” Tommy asked the ceiling quietly.

~~ Home ec: Miss Nihachu

The last block of the day was always the best, but not just because school would be over soon. 

There were three main reasons why everyone agreed it was the best. 

1. Miss Nihachu was the nicest teacher in school

2. baking was done often, and everyone always got to take some home

3. it was the one class you, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo and Purpled all had together. 

Soon your found yourself crowded into one of the tiny kitchen areas with all your friends, as Miss Nihachu gave instructions. 

“Now, if you make a mess you will be cleaning it up! I’m looking at your kitchen a!” She said, half threateningly.

Ranboo pushed away from the group, “I’m not with them I swear!” 

Miss Nihachu rolled her eyes playfully, “Sure your not.” 

Surprisingly, a mess was not fully made. 

Somehow between Tommy wanting to taste the cookie dough at every step from butter to flour, Tubbo trying to add as many chocolate chips as he could, and Purpled all but refusing to move from where he was sitting on the counter, you and Ranboo managed to get the cookies into the oven with no real disasters. 

As you wiped down the empty counter space you sighed, “That wasn’t too bad.” 

“Yeah.” Tubbo agreed. 

Tommy only nodded, still eating the large glob of cookie dough he’d stolen. 

Ten minutes before the bell rang and when everyone was supposed to be finishing cleaning up you sniffed the air suspiciously, “Why do I smell burning?” 

Tubbo took a deep breath, “I smell it too.”

“Oh yeah, something is definitly burning.” Ranboo agreed. 

You whirled to face Purpled, who was absently scrolling through his phone, “Purp you did set a timer right?” 

[colemckenzies]

hi do you think older sitcoms are essential viewing? if so which do you recommend? i tried taking your quiz but i'm ashamed of not knowing any of the older ones hahaha

depends on what ur goal is!!! (i assume this is about the US version rather than britcoms just bc statistically that's more likely lol)

personally i like older sitcoms bc a) i just think they're neat :) and b) sitcom history IS tv history IS media history IS modern history. in the us and uk specifically sitcoms are so integral to the dna of the country, theyve been there since the beginning, they're the POPULAR television they're what everyone watched. even when they aren't 'good' they're just so omnipresent and influential that they affect literally everything else.

i also think it's cool as a litmus test for where the country is on social issues. invariably sitcoms were the first things to talk about stuff like race and sexuality (and not in the bland woke points way of modern shows lmao) because they were ALLOWED to because it was a safe environment bc 1. it's Funny so when the topic makes people uncomfortable they get to do Nervous Laughter and it's not too serious and 2. everything in a sitcom goes back to the status quo at the end of the episode so there's no Threat from these Scary New Concepts because it will be gone by the end. and yeah it means there was a lot of offensive shit sometimes lol but in the context of the time there is surprisingly little 'punching down' humour it's more just ~poltically incorrect~ which is better than pretending things just don't exist in the 70s imo. and again because it's SUCH a bland and popular genre it made a huge difference to Normalising things like shows like will&grace and the cosby show weren't perfect but just having them on as this safe middle class (bc yeah if they were going ~~socially progressive they were almost always middle class to make it palatable lol) concept made the middle class white cishets go wow 😌 guess they aren't evil freaks 😌 and joe biden even credited w&g for paving the way to gay marriage LOL which yeah obviously none of this is ideal but i think it's cool and has its place in social history!!

it's also just a cool little time capsule especially in domesticoms to see what people were concerned about at the time. this is especially true for britcoms bc of the whole kitchen sink realism thing but applies to us shows too!! like the episode of the golden girls where the children are afraid they'll die in a nuclear war before theyre adults (ah.. the 80s<3) or in rising damp (uk show from the 70s!!!) where there's a joke about not using aerosols bc of the ozone layer which are like Oh This Has Been A Thing For This Long

ANYWAY that's enough rambling. are old sitcoms essential viewing. if u want to fully understand the modern tv landscape then i think yes (especially shows like community and bojack that are very much About television and its legacy, or shows that are satirical subversions like iasip). but like not trying to be a snob u don't HAVE to lol. if u want to understand more about America As A Country then yes. if u want to find some shows that are genuinely enjoyable if in a different way to modern television then yes. yes <3

idk how old you consider 'older' sitcoms to be but some Academic highlights:

beulah (1950) - so a lot of EARLY early sitcoms were radio shows that moved into the new medium, and two of these shows were beulah and amos n andy, both of which were minstrel shows by white men. but when they moved to tv, they actually cast black actors/actresses for the most part, which i just find.. very interesting?? amos n andy did still use some blackface tho whereas iirc beulah never did. anyway this show was a HIT and was the first sitcom to star an african american woman, and also didn't have a laugh track which was rare in those days. obviously very outdated now but a piece of history!!

i love lucy (1951) - famous for a reason, the definition of tv history, literally INVENTED the flat lighting style that every multicam sitcom uses so they can shoot from multiple angles at once without shadows, genuinely funny physical comedy and vaudeville, lucille ball is the reason star trek got made so we love her <3

the adventures of ozzie and harriet (1952) - there's over 400 episodes of this and ive not watched most of them bc im not Super into it but it's definitely worth checking out as a Historical Artefact. technically a sitcom but also kind of invented reality tv since it's about a real life family playing themselves, specifically the nelson family. as in ricky nelson. ricky nelson the singer. he grew up on this show.

the honeymooners (1955) - this was filmed on a literal stage in a literal theatre and it feels like it. iconic and referenced a lot but i don't really like it :( wham boom straight to the moon

for Full History probably check out either leave it to beaver or father knows best for the middle class white picket fence domesticom but neither are Particularly notable

the dick van dyke show (1961) - one of my favs!!!! notable for blending the domesticom with the workplace sitcom since you see rob at home and at work (he's a tv writer so there's a canon reason for everyone speaking in quips). this show said women's rights for a) making rob genuinely love his wife b) making one of rob's two co-workers a woman and c) mary tyler moore, a new mother irl, saying I Am Not Going To Do The Vacuuming In Heels And A Hoop Skirt Are You Insane and wearing pants <3. v warm and funny show!!!

the addams family (1964) - ok so this show wasn't actually as revolutionary as everyone on this website likes to pretend it was, pretty much the only 'i hate my wife' show at this point was the honeymooners, there had been loving families, there had been non-middle-class-normative families, the munsters launched the same year and was almost identical. HOWEVER still makes the list bc there were a LOT of fantasy sitcoms in the 60s so they need representing at it was genuinely one of the best (but shout out to i dream of jeannie since that's the fantasy sitcom that sitcom textbooks love to use)

all in the family (1971) - ok so norman lear was a bit of a sitcom legend so one of his had to be included and this was really his first. ol norman loved a britcom so this show is actually based on till death us do part but im not convinced they actually got royalties. anyway one of the first SPECIFICALLY political sitcoms, framed as like young progressive generation vs old conservative generation, also one of the first ever tv shows to suffer from Asshole Main Character Is Erroneously Idolised syndrome. also compare w the honeymooners how all early sitcoms abt working class families tended to revolve around arguments :(

m*a*s*h (1972) - having a bit of a Moment on tumblr rn which is what she deserves. there were a LOT of war-based sitcoms in the early days but this one is significant because even though it was about the korean war it was obviously About vietnam politically. also klinger <333 did so much for queer ppl the Types of jokes surrounding his cross-dressing are very important. also the finale is the most-watched broadcast in america in history outside of recent superbowls, the apollo 11 launch, and nixon's resignation, so that's pretty iconic.

sanford and son (1972) - another norman lear sitcom this time based on britcom steptoe and son, with the major difference being the uk ver had white characters whereas this was one of the first (possibly the first??) all-black sitcom since the 50s. which is a lot of pressure. but it was a success and meant there were then a fair few in the rest of the 70s so that 'black sitcom' became its whole own genre, although they were less likely to have ~universal appeal~ and cross over to white audiences

soap (1977) - SOAP MY BELOVED!! cult classic, soap opera parody, historically significant for having the one of the first main openly gay characters and the earliest one that people still care about (because soap operas are another genre that love to tackle Big Social Issues so of COURSE a soap opera sitcom is gonna have one). by all accounts Bad Gay Rep™ but i love him so much <3

cheers (1982) - cheers isn't even the best sitcom in the cheers universe (frasier <3) but it is one of the most watched tv shows of all time so whatever. nothing That notable about it outside of its popularity, though sam/diane was one of the first big central will-they-won't-they plots.

idk if the 90s still count as older sitcoms?? i won't go into depth bc this post is way too long already but most academically notable 90s shows r seinfeld and will & grace, and ig friends (ew)

BUT if u don't care about sitcom history hfjshd here are some more of my fav pre-90s Vintage Sitcoms that i just watch for fun :) (warning i do NOT have good taste i genuinely like schmaltzy trash):

family affair

bewitched

my mother the car

the brady bunch

wkrp in cincinnati

full house

the golden girls

happy days

[imdreaminadream]

The results pt 2 ~ what about it makes you cringe?” Category 3

( - prologue.   - part 1  - category 1  - category 2 )

Okay so this is the results to the question in the quiz, What about it makes you cringe. In reference to the questionnaires core subject about smut fanfics.

Also quick psa there will be a part for the results for the other question -  “In kpop fics, Korean words i.e. jagiya, seem to be a no no, would you like to elaborate why?”

Now note these particular results are going to be split into 3 posts because I decided to split the results into 3 categories. 1 - Writing Aspects. 2 -  Personal Preferences. 3 - Genuine Problems.   >This post is category 3<

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MENTIONS OF - rape, minors engaging in sex, child pornography, childhood trauma, unsafe bdsm/kinky sex, misogyny?, toxic masculinity? anything else that needs to be tagged message me so I can add them.

DISCLAIMER BELOW. (please read that before continuing)

This is going to be a long post. The responses were very enlightening but please don’t take this as an attack. Consider this more as constructive cheat sheet to good smut writing or just ignore it if you don’t agree with it. Some of this did a bit deep apricate trigger warnings will be put on the appropriate posts but I’m not sorry it got deep fics can also affect real life as much as we wish it were something that didn’t mix in with real life, it does. I’m no official like sex guru or big-time writer, or what ever BUT I did add little advice underneath each answer, which are just a reflection of the people’s answers. Again if you don’t like the sounds of this don’t take it personal and click off.

Genuine problems

Rape territory - There was a common theme of people commenting about what is essentially edging into rape territory. This was talked about with both sexes, where one expresses, they’re not in the mood but the other just continues to make advances on them until they end up having sex. Everyone who spoke about it mentioned it comes across as coercive or forceful (which would be dubious consent, but I personally know how no one tags it as that because they don’t realize.) something that makes them immediately stop reading and knocks an author’s credit in their eyes. When a character is crying as though they’re not enjoying it, but the sex doesn’t stop and there is not safe word that is used.

No advice for this just use common sense.

Lack of tags which indicate trigger/content warnings - This only came up a handful of times but considering its importance I added it in here to talk about. The comments about it were straight forward as is the topic. Some authors aren’t tagging their work appropriately and it’s actually quite dangerous. You tag your work for a reason to let people know what is involved in it before they read, tagging everything is crucial. If something isn’t tagged you risk the reader, at the very least, the reading but then feeling discontent because it had something in they don’t like to read. Then at the worst you risk people’s mental health, you risk them having panic attacks, anxiety attacks because their trigger was in your fic but they didn’t know because it wasn’t tagged for them to see and know not to read because it could trigger them.

Advice for this is to bold things which you know for sure are sensitive topics, and make sure to tag everything in your damn fucking tag section. You risk people having panic attacks when you don’t tag your work right and they read your work only to find out it has their trigger included in it being blindsided because after reading your shitty tags they didn’t know but you put it in there. Also please don’t just tag smut, tag everything included in that smut because something works are tagged smut and then next thing you know person b is being choked, clothes cut by a knife, restrained with rope, told they’re a slut/whore.

They’re a minor - This also only came up a handful of times, not because people don’t care but probably because they don’t commonly come across it enough however this is incredibly important topic even outside of what about smut makes you cringe. This shouldn’t be a problem, as in it shouldn’t be happening as the people who commented, me and all of you know. They’re a minor, under 18, they’re technically still considered child in the law’s eyes anything sexual about them, like writing smut about them would be considered child pornography. “Things that persons under 18 are prohibited from doing - being depicted in pornographic materials.” No one even cares about “but I’m the same age as them uwu.” It still doesn’t make it right so don’t try and use excuses. Also, the minute a person turns 18 if your first thought is oh, I can write smut about them or request someone to write it for me please just leave that’s like preying on them as though you counted down till they were 18 and now the only value you see in them is for sex.

Mine and everyone else’s advice DON’T FUCKING DO IT.

Also, to note I don’t know what the official rules are for age swapping so like writing an adult person as a minor and depicting them in smut materials, to cope with your trauma, would anyone be open to talking to me about it, like educating me? There has just been this sudden wave more fics being, it’s okay to write adult that I made a child in my fic engaging in sexual content because it helps me cope with my trauma. It just seems everyone’s started saying that and I don’t know how many are being genuine or using it as an excuse or gone with the flow treated it like a trend. Not to be rude just genuinely how legit is this? How many people who write it have genuinely experienced that trauma? P.s if you have experienced that trauma, I am genuinely so sorry and know I am not disrespecting or invalidating your trauma I promise.

Female Characters/misogyny? - Now what this means is everyone expressed how they hate the constant portrayal that it only takes seconds for a female to reach an orgasm and she already wet to go like some kind of tap. They also highlighted a big problem with constantly painting the female as this innocent, dainty, dumb, naïve, shy, small, little girl. Women have brains too; women can give as good as they get and aren’t these shy naïve little playthings. All women have different personalities, the stereotypes about women in fics I’ve seen through the answers, and myself in fics, to my questionnaire is upsetting everyone. And you can see why, is it not bad enough we are subjected to misogyny and stereotyped in real life but now we have to see it in fics too. It genuinely does make people stop reading, it makes them cringe as the answers have suggested. One person mentioned this in their response, and I feel it should also be included, “y/n is absolutely okay with everything being done to her.” This isn’t something we should ever hear. This category feels like the right category to mention it so just consider their words, consider why that makes them cringe at smut writing that includes that.

To everyone the advice is a no brainer when you look at the responses. Make sure that the female character is actually getting turned on like into the mood before even thinking about mentioning that she is wet. And consider that a lot of statistics and personal experiences of other women stating it’s not all that easy to orgasm during sex, and not typical for her to come before the male, so make it sound like it’s worth the female characters while not that they do it for 3 minutes and suddenly she is coming.

Please also STOP with the constant bullshit of stereotyping of women as exampled above. If you like to feel small or submissive or whatever in the bedroom and you express that in your fics I get you but that does not mean you have to portray the female character as dumb, naïve, small, weak like for the love of god spice it up a bit, make her powerful, clever, with personality etc.… being in charge of her own body, knowing about her body, and what she wants and how to get it.

Btw no one is saying it’s not okay to be shy and that before you come in here like “why are you shaming shy, or small girls or dd/lg kink,” it’s not that I can assure you. We’re talking about the stereotype of it that is used to make the women seem more pliable for the man to control essentially not the genuine personalities/kinks people have.

Very passive sub female reader and overly dom male - Now many people spoke how an over macho dom male, and a passive - made out like they’re dumb, submissive female is a dynamic that is making them cringe now. It’s not a dynamic they care for anymore, and I agree with them especially considering the issues it brings about. “ Whenever the female reader is extremely passive and shy/flustered whereas the idol/character is extremely assertive/condescending/dominating/leading everything in comparison.” There is a personal preference to this yes# people acknowledged this, however when talking about this dynamic they further explained the issues with it. Overly passive female has already been touched on but to reiterate the replies insinuated they’re sick of seeing women in fics treated how they are in real life essentially – like some dumb little girl. One person said, “I like when the girl can give as good as she gets, though that’s just my preference.” So, like what has been discussed before this portrayal of females it absolute bullshit and needs to fucking stop being such a constant portrayal. (mind break is different so don’t start)

Then for the male side of things it’s enforcing the stereotype men are macho an alpha male, they don’t have feelings they just think with their dick and have all grr I’m super toxically manly do you ever lift bro, I’m so strong, I get all the bitches, fuck all the girls, the have control over the passive female and not in a consenting way, in an entitled way. Which no, they can have feelings, they can be softer more feminine all whilst still identifying as a man. They can be submissive just as much as a anyone else, they can be a switch or just a dom that isn’t this macho, macho, man. They can be needy, loving, caring, in touch with themselves, their feelings and everything the female character is made out to be, apart from dumb, naïve and weak of course, yano all those negative things any gender and non-gender people want to be associated with. If the guy wants to get railed by the female and be the sub in the dynamic of male x female, then fair enough let it happen there isn’t nothing wrong with it.

All in all, it’s okay for males to be more feminine than masculine and females more masculine than feminine. It’s okay to portray that in fics genuinely. I wouldn’t say I have any advice for this other than the obvious no more macho man and passive females.

Use of Korean words. - If you’re not a Korean person don’t think you’re in the right to argue about this. The Korean people have spoken up and you will listen and respect them. Know this is an important topic, however there will be a separate post for this, so I’ll keep this bit short to then expand on more in the separate post. Just wanted to make you the reader aware that this is an issue.  It’s not okay to be treating noona, unnie and oppa like a kink if you are not Korean, or have Korean heritage. The people who are Korean so kindly explained, it was a normal word for them like just another part of their culture until bad egg kpop fans got their hands on it and they have now sexualized it to the point where some Korean people do not feel comfortable to even use it without thinking of the sexual connotation it has now been given. 

Now like I said I will talk further about that and more, to do with the use of Korean words in fics, in another post, I don’t already have that post drafted so it might take a while to get out and post. However in that time I’m gladly open to hearing more people who are Korean and have Korean heritage, views on this. Or if you too have experience with a word from your language having been taken from being an innocent word to now having a sexual connotation as well because of people not from your country/culture having given it that sexual meaning. It could be helpful to further emphasis the point about the Korean words but also show overall no matter the language/country that it’s making the people of that country/culture uncomfortable. 

Also I hope it doesn’t come across like I’m trying to speak over Koreans. If anything i want to be helpful more than a hinderance. This was something that was spoken about on the questionnaire so I’m just writing what the Korean people have expressed about it in the questionnaire. I want to be able to give their voices from the questionnaire a platform and shed light on this situation, with them.

Also can I ask if gender is a factor in this as well? I’ve seen on tiktok where some Korean guys like being called oppa but I’m not sure if that's in a respectful light or a sexual light, if they were being sarcastic for the Korea-boos or? but i have never seen women say they like being called noona in a way that comes across as a turn on? So can anyone comment on that? send me anons pls.

Too much degradation - Of course everyone who has mentioned this has said it is quite a personal preference thing, the acknowledge that it’s a kink not for everyone. Although on the flip side them relentlessly mentioning it give the feel that it’s becoming more of a problem and less of it’s okay it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. You see they exampled “bitch, slut, whore.” It’s so commonly used, and they even said how they’re finding it not tagged majority of the time, so seeing that surprisingly in the fics constantly it makes them cringe but it’s not a type of thing one can get over it’s apparent it’s becoming a slight problem. It begs the question how much degradation is too much, why is it constantly being used in fics? Does everyone love labeling the female y/n a bitch, whore, slut? Why is the male y/n never called a slut as much as female y/n? Do females have more of a degradation kink than men?

I can’t think of any advice to give based on the feedback, apart from obviously add it to your tags that there is a lot of degradation but it there is anything anyone else wants to add on this topic feel free to re-blog with your take or send me anons.

Describing features on a y/n fic - A few people have mentioned this, and I categorized it as a problem because well it is because not only does it make them cringe in smut fics but also in normal fics and poc feel oppressed in yet another way. When it’s written as y/n it’s supposed to allow the reader to insert themselves into the fic to imagine themselves in there, yet it’s not always done like that. As one of the responses said, it seems authors like that tend to project themselves or their ideal selves onto y/n physical feature wise. More often than not as the responses have indicated y/n is portrayed as cis female, white, blonde, blue eyes, other physical traits such as breast size, dick size body type, height and hair length are portrayed too, which pulls the readers out of imagining because they’re being told they have features they don’t. It’s especially bad for poc because their race never gets portrayed in fics, so it gives the message white race is the most favorable and we already know how racist the world is no need to bring it into fics either unknowingly or purposely.

Moral of the story, stop racism, end it. Go educate yourself.

Moral of the story, in regard to fics, well don’t describe y/n thoroughly. Instead leave it as vague as possible, I mean it’s not even needed to know what eye colour y/n has when they’re in the middle of getting railed.

Quick intermission to just say make sure you tag what gender and pronouns y/n has for your fic, so people are fully aware what y/n they’re getting in this fic.

Nor do we need to know what skin colour they have, it can easily be mentioned that a character is touching y/n’s body without saying they have milky skin indicating they’re white. It is very possible to not give y/n a race. Also, height, keep height out of it don’t describe it because not everyone is 5’2. (hello yes, I’m 5’10 so imagine me reading character a of height 5’8 towering over me, I mean maybe if they wear heels yes but otherwise no.) Similarly, don’t ever describe body types, you can say an outfit flatters a person’s figure without describing it, people can have sex without their body being specifically described i.e., slim figure, toned shapely legs. Please understand that by not describing y/n you’re helping to contribute to racism, and these wacky beauty standards that are already being forced onto us in the real world never mind the fictional world. 

Lack of safe word - Following on from kinks not being portrayed correctly there is the issue of lack of safe word. Now this is something that again didn’t come up quite a lot but that doesn’t mean it’s not an issue. Some are writing fics where one of the people involved, are being railed to high hell and it’s kinky as fuck or you’re writing a BDSM specific fic. Which is okay we are not judging or shaming but it’s concerning how with all this type of sex being had there is no even slight mention of the pairing having a safe word which is has the name would imply really important. It is there to keep the people participating in this kinky sex safe, without that it’s really harmful. Now if you think oh but writing in the discussion of safe words is really unsexy, especially when I’m just trying to make the characters fuck really kinky, then please go educate yourself. Safe words are incredibly sexy when you know it means you get to have bomb ass kinky sex but know that you can also have boundaries that should and will be respected, and a word or system i.e. traffic light system, to pause or stop when ever you need to in order to keep the kinky sexy safe.

The obvious advice is to incorporate consent and knowledge of safe word in your fic. It can be as simple as writing that the characters stop a minute for person a saying to person b you know your safe word. And then writing a small mini paragraph of person b feeling even more in love and/or turned on because their boundaries are being respected. Then you just carry on with writing the smut. You can imply easily that they have a safe word, that it’s been discussed, therefore they’re gong to be safe, respected and made to feel good.

Also, I know there are some people out there who are, a bit unsure on writing a fic in which one person uses their safe word. This is your friendly supportive message to just do it, don’t be afraid of what others think, do it for you it’s something great to write. There are many different ways you can go with it, so you do it if you want to 😊.

Honorable mentions of things that make the people cringe.

(Not a problem just as we are at the end of this category I figured I’d put honorable mentions. disclaimer again, these are other people’s comments from the questionnaire. You are entitled not to agree with them however do not attack me as some have been doing.)

fetishize people’s gender or race/ethnicity

uneducated use of other cultures to make it look authentic

Use of the word plum when they mean plump. One’s a fruit/colour, the other means having a full rounded shape.

PICK ME Y/N (we all know the type)

Stereotypes of all kinds. Of people, phrases, troupes etc.….

Written in a way it sounds monotone. i.e., “He did this, he did that, I did this.”

 When all y/n does during a smut scene is whine. There are other synonyms people.                                                                               

infantilization of y/n. stop making me feel like the person who the fic is about, is a nonce.                                                                                      

y/n is constantly oh so innocent. Like they can be a virgin don’t get it wrong. BUT we all know 9 times out of 10 y/n reads fanfic so they ain’t innocent.· 

no refractory period. 

try hard humour in the middle of smut.

terrible euphemisms

proper unrealistic dick sizes

adding in smut into a plot where it doesn’t fit

try hard

more to come potentially?       

END OF CATERGORY 3

(Feel free to discuss in comments, in my messages or send anons or anything like that if you want.)

@nctsworld  @lauraneuuh @jooniyah  

 Tag list:

@ceoofxiaojun @lovemayble  @myelle-n

(@smutwritingpolice) (@smutwhy)

[cassahina]

hi!! could i please have a danganronpa romantic matchup? sorry this is long i think!!

i’m a bi (asexual?) girl with an intp and 5w4 personality type. I like lolita, especially sweet and gothic lolita but i usually dress casually but cutely e.g white lolita peaterpan collar shirt, pastel pink heart hair clips, black cardigan, pastel pink pleated skirt and creepers (shoes) with frilly socks ^^. physically i have pastel pink hair a bit below my ears, have green/grey eyes and put lots of effort into making my eyelashes look big and curly with mascara, eyelash curlers, and oils. i’m 5 foot tall and generally prefer short boys from like 5 foot to 5’8… maybe less? and i don’t care abt girls heights. i have ocd and depression and recently got diagnosis with autism but i’m still in a bit of denial/kinda feel like i’m lying/am an imposter. according to a quiz my love language is quality time but i think that they’re all important. i would describe myself as stoic, quiet and somewhat shy, loyal and i try to be sweet and funny ^^. i’m good at english and kinda good at statistics but am an airhead in like all other areas. i don’t really take things seriously, usually because of a lack of understanding, am a bit mischievous and think i’m kinda annoying accidentally. i often also kinda offended my friends when trying to make jokes (i.e the time i said my friends boyfriends mustache looked like pubes. but worse:/). my highest kins are: sonia, chiaki, peko, gundam and i also kinda relate to ibuki, mikan, himiko and even though i love him i hate to admit it but kokichi. outside of danganronpa i kin: L, ryuk, the cat from ghost stories, rei from evangelion, kenma, annie and pieck, greg from over the garden wall, himiko toga, ririka momobami, and relate a bit to catra, spinel and menma. i love to play video games, sleep, daydream while cuddling my plushies, go shopping for clothes, collectables (like dinosaur and anime figures). i like plushies, iced coffee, pizza, the smell of vanilla and strawberries, lucky bags, claw machines, am interested natural disasters (specifically tsunamis and earthquakes), air conditioning, running, cute metal music like lady baby, baby metal and candye syrup but i also like soundtracks (especially for my daydreams), pop, indie pop, metal, rock, vocaloid and idk how to describe it but somewhat repetitive/robot/machine like music. i also like tiny spoons, airports, rain when it’s not an inconvenience, pastel pink, strawberries, thunder storms, early spring, fire, ocean storms (i want to go on a ship to be in one), cute things, video games, sugarbunnies (sanrio), heart shaped things, dinosaurs (especially from the cretaceous period), sitting on countertops and walking and running at night. if i had an ultimate maybe it would be something like the ultimate daydreamer? please do not match me with byakuya, hifumi, kaito, kazuichi, kiyotaka, leon, mondo, teruteru, yasuhiro, hiyoko or junko :)

Hey there Anon! Sure thing!!!! Also, I believe you are the one who sent the other ask too, if so then I hope you don't mind me answering this one instead lol.

I match you with....

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Kirumi Tojo and Kaede Akamatsu!

Ah, yes, the mom friends of drv3TM /lh

Anyways, I chose Kirumi because she is very patient, considerate and helpful. I feel like you would be able to grow close to her because she would help you out a bit and you would get to know each other more and more. You say you are a bit mischievous and sometimes unintentionally offend others, and seeing as Kirumi takes care of the whole v3 cast which is very chaotic and impish at times (especially with Kokichi), she would be well used to it and not take as much offense to it as others, her being more likely to understand your intentions or smile off a joke or prank. She is also down to do whatever makes you happy, which I bet you would really appreciate. She would also surprise you with things you like too, like a new videogame or some small spoons she found. I just think her more relaxed and caring nature would help balance you out while still letting you enjoy your time with her. You two would also have a cool aesthetic next to each other, I would imagine. :)

I chose Kaede because she would also balance you out, but in other ways. I always have seen Kaede as an extrovert, so that right there would match with your introversion, but Kaede is also a very considerate leader. She would be there to comfort you when things are rough or when you are struggling with stuff. She would also be down to just spend time with you, whether its listening and discussing music, or clothes shopping.

Hope you liked these!

[ms-demeanor]

SOMEONE HAS ASKED ME FOR HELP TRANSLATING OLD ENGLISH (OE). WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT LANGUAGES AND I’M EXCITED.

I CAN’T TRANSLATE INTO OLD ENGLISH BUT I’M STILL EXCITED.

Okay, so, this was partially based on my recent, completely hilarious, translation of the first verse of Baby Got Back into Middle English.

I did that because I’m a complete slut for Middle English (ME). I am, in fact, such a slut for ME that I decided to make a free translation of the Canterbury Tales for people who were more advanced readers than most high-school level translations could help but who had trouble reading ME because its grammar is WEIRD and FUCKED. (I only got through the general prologue and six tales and my analytical asides are insufferable but good job baby Alli I’m so proud of you for wanting to make a free translation you little punk fucking shit up you; now fucking finish it you ADHD gremlin)

SO ANYWAY. Chaucer is Middle English. What you’re currently reading if you’re reading this blog post is Modern English (ModE). POP QUIZ!

What language did Shakespeare write in?

*Final Jeopardy countdown tune*

Wrong! (probably, statistically speaking, you were wrong about that. I’m sorry, I set you up)

Shakespeare wrote in Modern English! It’s Early Modern English, sure, but it is nonetheless the same language that you are reading and speaking and writing today.

BASICALLY

What I’m trying to say is that Lizzo (2019) has more linguistic overlap with Shakespeare (1616) than Shakespeare did with Chaucer (1400) in spite of the fact that Shakespeare and Chaucer were only about 200 years apart and Shakespeare and Lizzo are 400 years apart. That’s because Samuel Johnson was an Absolute Lad in 1755.

(THE PRINTED WORD IS FUCKIGN AMAZING; DICTIONARIES ARE THE SHIT)

Anyway when I was first on tumblr I made a VERY embarrassing mistake and insisted I knew something about OE grammar that I extremely did not (I think this had to do with possession confusion when writing about two people of the same gender and I jumped in with a very bad take) because being a slut for ME doesn’t mean you know shit about OE.

Because Old English is OLD. Like. Really Old.

Like it probably came to England in around 450CE. OLD.

OE is basically Old German. (The development of Modern German is as weird or weirder as the development of Modern English and is no-shit heavily built on work of the Grimm Brothers. The Fairytale dudes.) But also kind of Old Scandinavian? And Frisian. Oh the Frisian. (English speakers: break your brain and listen to this video. Frisian is really closely related to ModE and spoken Frisian sounds infuriatingly close to comprehensible for most English speakers) and basically it’s a messy amalgam of the tribal languages of the various vikings who were continually taking the place over plus all the Brittonic languages plus Latin because of the Romans.

Anyway part of what I’m getting at is that OE was kind of a giant mess (just like ModE!) and translating into OE is also a mess.

Also because OE wasn’t just one language, it was four major dialects and constant moving goalposts as various groups gained and lost power. England didn’t even have a single monarch until almost 200 years after Beowulf was (maybe, probably) written.

So 1066 a somewhat-French dude fought a war with the King of Norway and a bunch of English dudes and long story short that’s how Norman French (which is French with a heavy salting of Scandinavian languages and a soupcon of Celtic) started beating up Old English and eventually turned into ME. (In the General Prologue of the Canterbury tales Chaucer makes a joke that the Prioress’s French is more of Normandy than Paris which is a joke because she’s claiming to be educated in Fancy French but she’s really educated in the form of French that’s like hootin’ and hollerin’ down by the crick can I get a yeehaw).

The deal is that we’re now approximately 4000 permutations away from whatever resembled a lingua franca in England before the Norman Conquest. Our surviving stock of Old English manuscripts is minuscule. Tolkein probably wrote more words in the languages he constructed than exist in OE.

OE is dead. We’ve reconstructed it as best we can and have an okay idea of how the language worked but our understanding of the vocabulary is. A little weird. There are some extremely specific words that kind of just don’t translate to the modern world (“bag specifically for carrying stolen goods” is a decent example). There are some words for which the context is kind of fucked (so if you wanted to translate a proposal it’s hard to ask someone to be your wife if “wife” and “woman” are the same word and “wif” is added to a lot of words to make them apply to women (we retain this in “housewife,” but generally don’t use things like “fishwife” anymore))

But, say you want to learn and translate anyway, what do you do? You make friends with a bunch of nerds and we’ll share our hoarded dictionaries with you. Even the really old ones.

REALLY old.

Actually I don’t have my 1820s Old English dictionary handy so have this one from 1916 instead.

Here’s a site that will translate ModE to OE or OE to ModE as you choose.

The University of Texas at Austen Linguistics Research Center has an online course for learning OE.

Here’s a whole-ass OE textbook.

Some nerds made a podcast about learning OE.

And here’s a very, very short look at the language if you’re thinking of looking into it more.

But if you don’t have time to study a whole new language and want to get something translated fast I recommend finding someone on their way to Kalamazoo and offering them twenty bucks because it’s a hard economy out there for Medieval Studies grad students.

Uh.

Anyway.

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 50.35 - Imperial vs Warwick

This is episode thirty five of this years University Challenge. Almost exactly one year ago, on 23rd March 2020, the UK was plunged into what we thought would be its only lockdown. Instead it was the first of going on three, four? Where does a lockdown end and a Tier 4 start? Manchester, where I live, has basically been in lockdown for most of the twelve months since then, and who knows how much longer this one is going to actually last. 

There is a peculiar magic to a revolution of the sun, with the circularity giving meaning to the meaningless marker of three hundred and sixty five days. Somehow it feels so much more momentous that a year will have passed than that a day less than a year has passed. You remember what you were doing as the lockdown was announced, where you watched Boris make his serious address from. The tingles of fear, and maybe even guilty nervous excitement made me restless. No one knew what any of it meant. So many things have changed since then, but in some ways we are exactly where we were. Stuck inside, nowhere to go, with no concept of when life will return to normal. 

There was also a University Challenge match on the 23rd March. I don’t know if I watched it on the day. Probably not. I wrote about it six days later, by which point I was working from home with a pile of books stacked underneath my laptop acting as a makeshift stand. There is something strange about being able to read exactly what I was thinking at the time everything was starting. The following paragraphs are taken directly from that blog, and it still feels like we are in the same limbo state.

What is going on? When I wrote the last blog it was pretty clear that we were in a dire situation, but the inaction of the Government left it feeling like we were in some kind of limbo state, just waiting for the disaster to hit us. But then action was taken. Lockdown.

We now know exactly what we have to do (I was going to list the ‘Stay Home’ instructions here, but if you’re getting your lockdown lowdown from a University Challenge blog then frankly there’s no hope for you anyway), but it still feels really surreal. You’ve never done a home workout in your life, but you’ve done two in the past three days. People say ‘social distancing’ as if its always been a well-known term that was commonly used in daily life. There are never any beans (screw your toilet paper shortages, its the beans that really matter).

We’re still in limbo, really, because we have no idea how long this is going to last. And we’re still waiting for the disaster to hit, because the worst of it hasn’t yet, and the lockdown won’t start properly helping for a few weeks. So what do we do? What can we do? You feel like you want to be distracted from all that is going on, but also to be clued up to the eyeballs with the latest news.

So we do what we can. We stay inside. We call our friends and family and play that stupid ‘chips and guac’ game on Houseparty. We take solace in books, or films, or TV…

As I did a year ago, I’ll try and distract you all (and myself too), with some words about a television quiz show. Let’s not bother with the rules, here’s your first starter for ten...

Imperial and Warwick have already played each other in this years tournament, with the Avonsiders coming out convincing winners, 200 to 120. They then beat another of the semi finalists, Magdalene, Cambridge, by 200 to 160. Fans of a nice round number, it seems. 

But I wouldn’t write Imperial off. They followed up their loss to Warwick with magnificent wins over King’s and Durham. Their skipper Kohn is the most in-form player left in the competition, and has averaged more than six starters a game. 

Having lost their first round match to Strathclyde, Imperial were given a reprieve via the high-scoring loser play-offs, and boy did they take advantage of it. This coincided with the gap in filming caused by Covid, and Kohn used the extra time to train intensely - think Stallone in Rocky but its just a guy furiously reading (with the same music playing, obviously).

Warwick, meanwhile, have had a relatively smooth path to the last four, winning by an average of 92.5 points. However, if you dive a bit deeper into those statistics, the margin has been decreasing each time (150, 100, 80, 40...), so if Imperial could get stuck into them early on then we’d have a real match on our hands. 

Kohn is quickest on the buzzer for the first starter, and they take three bonuses, with Kohn saying that ‘this is giving me strong Dr Faustus vibes’, before giving Dr Faustus as the correct answer for the third. His speed is his downfall on the next starter though, and he loses five points with a neg, allowing his opposite number Rout to pick up the scraps.

A very long-winded biology question falls to no one, before another Imperial neg, this time from Wong, let Braid in to take the lead for Warwick. An incredibly easy bonuse set on Shakespeare extended this for them, though they didn’t recognise ‘Night of the Living Dead’ from its description. 

Marrow, Imperial’s resident smiler, took the first picture starter to her evident delight, and a couple of bonuses tied the game at thirty fives. Braid is unlucky with his guess of ‘suffer no fools’ on the next starter - the answer is ‘suffer fools gladly’. 

A trademark rapid-buzz from Kohn took the lead back to London, before a second neg from Wong allowed Braid to level the game again. Imperial’s tactic seems to be to win the buzzer race, regardless of whether or not they know the answer. So far they have three negs to three correct starters. An inspired guess of semi-colon from Marrow stole back the initiative. Neither side could string together a run of starters yet. 

Not wanting to let Kohn have all the credit, Rout comes in super early on the next starter with Hamiltonian Operator. By now we have reached the music round, in a riveting but so-far low-scoring match. Kohn takes us to seventy apiece with the musical starter, giving Miles Davis and Dave Brubeck as his answer, even though the question had only asked for one person (to be fair to him, the question asked for ‘a bandleader and soloist’, making it seem as though they were two different people, but anyway, Paxman lets him off).

Both teams are making a dangerous habit of dropping bonuses, and six pass in succession with no correct answers. A pair of starters from Burrell, along with a few made five pointers, including some on Bulgarian football teams, gave Warwick the biggest lead of the match so far - fifty. 

Kohn isn’t content to give up so easily, and takes the second picture starter, along with a pair of bonuses. Braid stumbles on a chemical elements question, and again Kohn takes advantage. Dismissing some of the bonuses as too easy, Imperial close to within ten. 

Pollard gets his first starter of the evening with Yuri Gagarin, and a rare full set from Warwick gave them a thirty five point lead. A supremely clutch buzz from Kohn keeps Imperial in it, but Braid is quickest to identify/guess that a million seconds is two weeks (to the closest week), possibly putting the game beyond the reach of the Londoners. Paxman wastes some time by going on about how stupid it is to know that fact, and Warwick waste some more time with a lengthy conference on the bonuses. They are forty points clear, and probably heading to the final. 

But HANG ON!

Braid negs. Thirty five points. 

Kohn trips over his tongue, but gets the answer out in the end. Twenty five points. Could they do it?

No (sorry to have built up your hopes, if I did). The gong follows soon after, with Imperial still twenty five points adrift. 

Final Score: Imperial 135 - 160 Warwick

Probably a deserved win for Warwick that, but Imperial were an absolute delight and it was a pleasure to watch their evolution over the course of the tournament, especially Kohn’s performances on the buzzer. 

I’m looking forward to the second semi-final next week, which also promises to be a barnstormer. See you then.

If you’ve enjoyed this, but can’t wait until next week for another fix of University Challenge, then you can check out my Patreon, where I’ve been reviewing the 2015/16 series.

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Oracle Obscured and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

Many readers will know you already and if they don’t I encourage them to look your works up including Teaching Miss Granger and How I learned to love teachers’ meetings

Okay, let’s jump right in.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Hmmm ... that’s kind of a weird answer for me. I wanted to choose a name that didn’t immediately indicate whether I was male or female. I’d noticed a certain freedom afforded to authors of indistinguishable gender. With no societal construct about the “nature” of the creator, the story stood on its own, without prejudice or conditioned expectations.

I brainstormed about six or seven names and then picked the one that appealed to me most. I’ve always felt drawn to the idea of oracles (those who see beyond). And I definitely felt obscured in that department. (Hell, at the time, my whole life felt obscured.)

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

I don’t know if I do. I guess if I had to pick, I’d say Hermione, as I have a tendency to be an obsessive perfectionist when it comes to work/studying. I like to be organized and plan things out. And I can be quite demanding and harsh with myself when I feel like I’m not measuring up to my own insane ideals.

But I took that openpsychometrics.org statistical quiz a while back, where you answer like a bazillion comparison questions (I did the longer version), and my highest HP match was Remus Lupin (83%). Yeah, I can see that.

Luna is my favorite character, but I don’t know if I identify with her more than anyone else.

Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general)

It used to be horror/suspense, but ... I don’t know ... I’m just not as into it anymore. Maybe it’s because the real world is horrifying enough without adding fictional monsters to the mix.

Now I mostly read classics.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

To Kill a Mockingbird.

At what age did you start writing?

Just writing stories in general? Maybe second grade. It wasn’t a passion or anything, just something I was pretty good at. I only really did it at school, though, not so much at home. I read A LOT growing up, so I naturally imagined that I might be an author one day. I tried to write a book when I was about 13 or 14, but less than one chapter in, I decided it was too hard. (I was NOT a Hermione growing up. Planning and perseverance were not my style.)

I took a massive break from thinking after high school (the smorgasbord of medications I was on didn’t like me using my brain too much, and my plans for college went out the window when my depression become unmanageable). I didn’t really start writing again until I was about twenty-seven. That was when I found fanfiction. I consider that when I really started writing.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

I found fanfiction while looking for erotica. Needless to say I discovered the motherlode, and I was hooked. Over the years, I’d written bits and pieces of my own sexy scenarios (which is what you do when you grow up without the internet and you have to depend on your imagination for all your kink requirements), but I’d never really thought about taking someone else’s “story world” and using it as my setting. For a little over a year I read/devoured all the HP fanfiction I could, and then I realized I could take all the fantasies in my head and play them out with my favorite characters.

The first story I wrote was a funny/smutty Ginny/Draco thing, and it was HORRIBLE. The story and the sex were fine, but the writing was a nightmare. I submitted it to The Restricted Section, which was the only site I knew at the time, and they vetted their stories, so I had to get approved. They wrote me back saying it needed work and I should get a beta. So I went on the forum and found one (which was rather brave of me now that I think back). The person who helped me must’ve had the patience of a saint, because he/she(?) never said a damn thing about all the mistakes and shitty-ness. Suggestions and corrections were made, and I changed some of the pronouns to names so it wouldn’t sound so repetitive. The next time I submitted it, they accepted, and I got a decent response for a first-time writer (like three or four nice reviews). No one seemed to hate it, and the reviewers said the sex was hot, so I tried again, hoping to do better.

That’s when I wrote the first chapter of Teaching Miss Granger. It started out as just a oneshot. And it got a much better response. I wanted to write more, but I became extremely depressed and lethargic, and I didn’t really do anything for the next six or seven years. (I mean nothing. Unless you consider watching every episode of Law & Order CI and SVU ten times over to be an accomplishment.)

I came back to it years later, intending to add a few chapters to TMG where they have sex, but ... it just sort of evolved into the monster that it is. I worked on it pretty much every day for about a year. I’d never stuck with ANYTHING that long in my entire life.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

I would say love or “the power of love” is probably my favorite theme. But that includes synonyms for love as well. (Like wholeness, which is the theme of Quartet.)

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

None. I like other fandoms, but I don’t write for them, and I don’t usually read their fanfiction.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

I’ve never really thought about changing cannon. I mean, I change it to suit my fictional purposes (like Snape lives etc.), but I wouldn’t want to change canon for real. The deaths in HP serve a purpose, and while I find many of those deaths heartbreaking, that’s kind of the point. Hatred is bleak and destructive, and good people don’t survive wars simply because they’re good; bad things happen to good people all the time. As for changing something about the individual characters, I can’t get behind that either. The reasons people do things are multifaceted and complex and they’re colored by a lifetime of experiences I will never know or understand, so I don’t feel I can really judge. I can’t say I understand all the choices I’ve made in my own life, and there’ve been plenty of times where I had no choice at all. I can’t hold others to more rigorous standards than I myself can meet. We all have our shortcomings. (And that’s cool. Without them, there would be no growth or diversity.)

Do I have a favorite piece of fanon? Hmmm ... probably Head Boy and Head girl rooming together or having private rooms.

Oh! And uniforms.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?

I used to listen to really quiet classical music while wearing headphones. Every little sound in the house distracts me, and I have to block it out. But lately I’ve just been running this old box fan that drowns out the noise.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Crap, I don’t know if I can choose. (Plus I feel like I’ve forgotten a lot of what I’ve read.)

My friend Desert Sea is my fav Hermione/Severus writer. Out of her stories, the ones I like best are In Their Hands and At the Headmaster’s Discretion.

After a brief search of my accounts, I’ll go with:

Do Not Go Gentle by senlinyu

Another Dream by dragoon811

The Last Twenty-Four Hours of Severus Snape by CryingCinderella

Pretty much everything by Aurette

Pet Project by Caeria

Post Tenebras, Lux by Loten

All the SS/HG stuff from snapeslittleblackbuttons

There’s a Teddy Radiator story that I like a lot, but I can’t remember the name of it. (Or what it’s about.) (Yes, very helpful, I know.)

And in a category all it’s own is Farmer Granger and the Most Glorious Cock by MyWitch. (Seriously, I read this like once a month and it makes me laugh every time.)

I read a lot of Drarry too. Drarry stories I love:

Everything by bixgrl1, but especially Balance Imperfect and In Evidence of Magical Theory

Everything by lq_traintracks (even the non-Drarry stuff). The writing is amazing.

I love all the advent stories by Saras_girl.

I like all the Drarry stories I’ve read by Faithwood.

I really like RZZMG’s writing. (No particular story or pairing.)

And I just rediscovered a story I found in 2007 (the first m/m fic I ever read). It’s a Snarry, which I know isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but it was excellent. Snape: the Home Fries Nazi by pir8fancier

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I enjoy a bit of both. My oneshots are all pantsed. TMG was totally pantsed. But Getting Personal and Quartet were both plotted and planned. For GP I did sort of a chapter by chapter synopsis before starting my rough draft, and for Q I went into even more detail—EVERYTHING was planned out ahead of time. The only thing that changed during the first draft was I ended up combining some of the chapters.

How does plotting affect my writing process compared to pantsing? It streamlines it. In a oneshot there’s not much to streamline; the basic story (or general idea) is all you really need. There’s not enough story to get muddled. But when I’m writing something longer, with multiple chapters, I find it’s better to know where the story is going. How deeply I go into that planning can vary. Sometimes there’s just a basic outline of the major plot points and then I fly by the seat of my pants from there. Sometimes I write out a very rough synopsis (sort of like a short and loose first draft) and then start writing as if it’s my second draft. Things inevitably get changed once I really start writing, so the planning isn’t set in stone by any means, but when I plan, the story goes in the general direction I intend without veering too far off course and there aren’t any plot holes. After I wrote TMG (with no planning) I saw that there was A LOT I could have cut or combined without affecting anything important. I learned a little more with each story I wrote, and when I got to Q, there was a lot of complicated ideas that I wanted to incorporate, and there were so many characters (and character arcs) going on that I had to plan extensively to make sure everything fit together. If I hadn’t worked it out ahead of time, it would’ve been like throwing a heap of puzzle pieces on the table but not being given a reference picture to know what it was I was working toward.

What is your writing genre of choice?

I have no idea. Plotty sex? Erotic dramady? Some of it is just straight up PWP, but I usually like to have something meaningful in there too.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Usually the answer is whatever I’ve most recently written, as it’s the most likely to represent my current “best.” In terms of writing, I’ll go with A Brush with Magic, but Quartet is probably my best storytelling. A lot went into that (symbolism, planning, obsessive re-writes) and it holds a good deal of personal meaning to me. So, I guess I’ll go with Q due to the time and effort involved.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

The unexpected always crops up (even with all my planning), and it’s the unexpected that makes the magic.

While I had many insights into my own nature while writing Quartet, in the end I think it taught me to trust/listen to myself more.

Later, however, it brought me a very different message. While writing it, I felt a lot of tension and anxiety; I wanted to “do it right” and present my story in the best light. But after some time away, I realized I’d been so worried because I felt as if that story represented me, as if it defined me. And the pressure of being judged worthy or unworthy had been eating me alive.

But I don’t feel that way anymore. Now it’s like I wrote all my stories in another lifetime. While they all might be a snapshot of a fraction of my mind, nothing I create ever says a damn thing about who or what I truly am. Since letting go of that, I’ve found a sense of freedom around writing. I still like to express things as clearly and beautifully as I can, but it’s more a celebration of words than a search for acceptance.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

Quartet was extremely personal to me when I wrote it, and in a lot of ways I think that made it easier to write. When I have to go strictly by imagination, I feel as if I’m missing some depth of understanding (like I’m getting the surface-level stuff, but missing the nuance). When I write from experience, it has an entirely different quality. Richer. More intimate. It’s work to write what I don’t know, but it’s easy to write the truth.

Posting, however, is an entirely different story. Other people don’t always want the truth, and if you feel like your story is an extension of you, it can hurt to have any part of it rejected.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I think everything I’ve ever read or seen has influenced me. In terms of writing, I guess I’d say I’m inspired by beauty in all its forms. When I first started reading fanfiction, I just searched for the kinks I liked; it was all about the sex (with bonus points for having a decent plot). Then one day I read an extremely well-written PWP (I don’t remember what), and the way the author described the sex was so unlike anything I had ever read, it totally blew my mind. It was art. Exquisite art. And before that, I didn’t know sex could be art. That author didn’t just recount the characters’ actions, they painted a word masterpiece—they turned porn into poetry. THAT was what I wanted in my life. And I didn’t know it until that moment.

Books/authors that stick with me:

The Harry Potter series (obviously).

Shel Silverstein (Love the poetry, but The Giving Tree is one of my favorite books of all time.)

Dr. Seuss (Always.)

Judy Blume (I still have my copy of Are You There God it’s Me Margaret from when I was, like, 10. Tiger Eyes is my favorite of hers.)

R.L. Stine (I got hooked prior to the creation of the Goosebumps series, but I had EVERY Fear Street Book he wrote when I was in middle school.)

Weekend by Christopher Pike (This was the first YA thriller I ever read. *Sigh* memories. I still have my original copy, and I still read it every once in a while. The characters and plot are great.)

Stephen King (Carrie is my fav.)

Anne Rice (I’ve read all the vampire and witch books, but The Witching Hour is the only one I’ve read multiple times. Blackwood Farm is my next favorite.)

To Kill a Mockingbird

Charles Dickens (David Copperfield is my fav.)

Jane Austen (I can’t pick between Pride & Prejudice and Sense & Sensibility.)

Thomas Harris (Brilliant writing, and Hannibal might be one of the most intriguing anti-heros ever.)

Stieg Larsson (Another brilliant writer with a brilliant character.)

The Giver by Lois Lowry (I haven’t read the rest of the trilogy. And I haven’t seen the movie. I refuse to besmirch my childhood love with Hollywood’s interpretation.)

Bridge to Terabithia (This book devastated me as a child.)

Gillian Flynn (Sharp Objects is my fav.)

Liane Moriarty (I like all of her books, especially Big Little Lies. The way she plays with the timeline is masterful.)

Frank Herbert’s Dune. (I grew up on this. It’s my dad’s all-time favorite book. And, yes, we’re looking forward to the new movie.)

Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid’s Tale is horrifyingly wonderful. And Atwood herself is fascinating. Watch her Masterclass if you get the chance.)

Steinbeck’s East of Eden (This might be my second favorite book.)

The Lucifer Effect by Phillip Zimbardo (This isn’t fiction, but it was the first book that really affected the way I see the world.)

Eisler’s The Chalice and the Blade (Also not fiction. If you’re interested in the divine feminine and a more egalitarian society, this is the book for you.)

Loving What Is by Byron Katie (The only self-help book that’s ever actually helped me.)

Daphne Du Maurier (I love Rebecca, but she also has a story called “The Blue Lenses” that isn’t really intended to be scary, but it freaked me the fuck out.)

The Secret History by Donna Tartt (Gorgeous writing, and the plot left me seriously disturbed.)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey (Gah! I love this. The writing and the story and the characters and EVERYTHING!)

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (I Bradbury’s writing style, but the plot of F451 is pure horror for any book hoarder lover.)

The Lord of the Flies by William Golding (This might be my third favorite book ever. No, wait, I might like it better than East of Eden. I can’t choose!)

The Diary of Anne Frank (How in the hell could anyone read this and not be affected by it?)

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

No. This is my own private world, and I like it that way.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

Very. I write what I want to read. There are certain adjustments I make when I write for other people as opposed to what I do when writing strictly for myself, but nothing major. I refuse to write things I have no interest in, and I don’t write to make people happy. I write to please myself. (But it’s nice when what pleases me pleases others. It’s wonderful to share that connection.)

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I like hearing from my readers. I don’t have a lot of time to interact, but I like talking to my audience and listening to their insights. I try to reply to all the comments I get on AO3 (it’s just too hard on FFN). And when I have free time (which isn’t often) I check my FB groups to see what’s going on. To me, the interaction kind of completes the creative cycle; it helps me set the story free and allow it to be. It really belongs to the reader once I’ve published, and it’s nice to see the ripples creativity creates.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Unless it’s absolutely necessary, stop using the word “was.” Completely changed my writing.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

It doesn’t really happen that much, as I usually know where I’m going with my story, but there can be glitches between scenes or times when I can’t find the words for something (like ending a chapter). When that happens, I usually just leave it and come back later—I can’t force it if it won’t come.

If I really need to get it done for some reason, I read what I have over and over, adding a little bit more each time, trying out words that “sound right” and building what I need bit by bit. What I come up with isn’t always right or what I want, but at least I have something to work with. Sometimes seeing what’s wrong makes what you want more obvious.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yeah, just about everything Sex, depression, anxiety, personal growth, likes/dislikes, insights, interests, philosophy, all my little neuroses. Every once in a while I’ll even include some dialogue from real life.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I’m juggling about five long stories right now (plus a couple oneshots). And I haven’t worked on any of them in ages. I don’t know what’s going on with me; I’m just not in the mood. I don’t want to say what they are, as I might never finish them. (Two are Drarry and three are Sevmione. One is a compilation of oneshots. Four of them are completely planned out and just need to be written. The unplanned Drarry was always just meant to be for myself and I doubt I’ll ever release it.)

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Yes. Enjoy the whole writing/creative process as much as possible. Try not to beat yourself up, and don’t try to force yourself to be better. You will naturally get better the more you write. Change is inevitable; allow it to happen. Read books about writing, and read good writers. Notice what brings you the most pleasure when you read and tap into that same pleasure when you write. Play with words and ideas just for fun. Watch and see what appears. There is no perfect.

If you’re writing about sex (because I get asked about that a lot), write what turns YOU on. Don’t try to be sexy. Don’t try to write what you think other people want to hear. Don’t worry about what other people think (at least in the first draft). If they don’t like it they can go read something else. But if YOU like it, it will shine through in your writing, and that will have a bigger impact on your reader than any activity you describe. Also, the physicality is only a fraction of the sexual experience. Don’t turn your sex scenes into a play-by-play. You’re not really writing about what the characters are doing so much as how what they’re doing affects them. It’s a personal experience, and the more personal you make it (the more honest and vulnerable you are as a writer) the more satisfying the story will be for your reader. Wise words! Thank-you so much for speaking with us today Oracle Obscured.

[silveraccent]

‘Lil Vampy || Grace & Mina

TIMING: Pre-Full Moon PARTIES: @silveraccent @drowningisinevitable​ SUMMARY: Grace goes to campus to give a book to Blanche, but runs into a ‘vampire’ instead. Mina’s got the badge that saves them. CONTENT: Blood.

White Crest, despite all of its mysteries, always seemed to try and operate as normal. Despite the number of situations that Grace had found herself in, she was now wandering across a college campus to deliver a forgotten book to Blanche. Only recently had Grace found leaving her apartment not nearly as big of an inconvenience as she usually had. It had taken some time to find the courage, but once she had, she found herself settling into her apartment less and less, and instead, opting out for a park bench and her sketchbook. The stress of going back to work, as well as having to dish out her hard earned cash for her hospital stay were both looming, but if she refused to acknowledge them for a while longer, maybe it’d be easier to pretend that neither of those things existed. Grace crossed the short distance between the building that Blanche had told her she’d be waiting for her in, and waited outside, unable to gain access to the building without a badge. Grace frowned and leaned against the wall, sending Blanche a quick text, letting her know that she was outside. While she waited, she caught sight of a girl who was clearly struggling with her books. Hesitating, she peeled herself away from the wall and hurried over, “are you okay?” Grace asked her, leaning down to pick up one of the books that had dropped. 

Perhaps, in an effort to stay busy and distracted by everything going on in her life, Mina had bitten off a bit more than she could chew. She was behind in her own classes, the classes that she taught, and the classes that she tutored in after having to deal with the death of her father, and, while professors were understanding, she’d been trying to get a handle on it before it, and she was! But getting a handle on her schoolwork meant she’d have to deal with her own problems, and she couldn’t do that right now, so she’d been looking for extra work. Which is how she ended up walking across campus with too many books, trying to get back to the cramped little office that she shared with her fellow maths masters students. When one fell, she huffed out a sigh, frustration and stress making a headache start to form behind her eyes. She needed to relax, soon, or else she was going to get a nosebleed. Just as she was about to try to bend down, a girl had already picked up her book for her. “Thank you!” Mina said, more than a little relieved. “Oh, I’m just… Books. Too many, yes?”

“Too many, I think.” Grace smiled at the girl before she looked down at the book in her hands. It looked identical to the one that Blanche had forgotten. She looked up from the book to the girl standing in front of her. “Do you need any help? I can get the door for you?” She offered, holding onto the book. She turned back towards it, then remembered she didn’t have the badge to gain entry. “I don’t… have a key, I don’t actually go here.” She gave the girl a small smile. She guessed luck was on her side. She could’ve waited for Blanche to arrive, but the longer she was on campus, the more she felt the anxiety from students who were prepping for exams and for homework that was obviously late. 

“Serves me right, I suppose,” Mina said, laughing a bit. Too many books, too much work, too little time to think about things that caused her chest to ache. It wasn’t anything that she couldn’t handle, hadn’t handled before. “I’d appreciate it, truly. One second.” Adjusting as many of her books to one hand, Mina was able to fish her ID out of her bag before handing it to the girl gingerly. “Seriously, thank you. The scanner should be near the door.” She let the other girl scan them into the building. They seemed to be about the same age, and the girl didn’t give Mina the same prickling sensation she got when she was around other Fae, which already filled Mina with a sense of relief and guilt. “I’m Mina, by the way. Mina Fitzroy. What brings you to campus? Are you looking into taking classes?”

Grace took the badge and slapped it against the small device on the wall. When the light lit up, she grabbed the door and wrenched it back, stepping to the side so that her company could walk through. She stepped inside shortly after. “No, thank you!” Grace smiled at her, shifting her weight to her other foot, twisting slightly so that she could hear the girl better when she began to introduce herself. She hadn’t realized how many of her mannerisms she would have to change with the sudden loss-- it had made her acutely aware of her positioning, sometimes annoyingly so. “Mina? I’m Grace, it’s nice to meet you.” She smiled at Mina before lifting her hands up, palms facing the girl, “Oh, no. I’m just here to drop off a book for a friend. She forgot it.” Grace turned her attention towards the hallway, stopping cold at the sound of a loud shriek. 

“Nice to meet you, too, Grace,” Mina said with a smile, though it was a bit tired. But it was nice to meet Grace, and she was grateful for the help with her books. She hadn’t even thought about the near impossibility opening the door by herself would have been, especially since she was dropping books without having to worry about the impossibility of opening a door. “Well, you’re a very good friend for coming all the way onto campus just to deliver a book.” She couldn’t think of many people who would do that. “That’s really sweet of--” The shrieking cut Mina off, and she turned to watch as a girl was being chased by another, one in a cape and with blood dripping down her face. Both of them were headed towards Mina and Grace. The girl in the cape… Mina squinted at her before her eyes widened. It was Jo, a girl from her beginner level statistics class. Jo, who had fangs and blood dripping from her mouth but… Jo wasn’t a vampire. Mina knew she wasn’t a vampire, had seen Jo out and about in broad daylight. The only thing vampiric about Jo was her love of cheesy vampire novels and her desire to dress up as one for Halloween. But… 

“Vampire! Vampire!” the girl being chased screamed out, blood dripping from her neck. Mina looked at Grace, eyes wide. This wasn’t good.

Grace’s eyes grew large at the sight of the girl running, and she felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight of the individual who was running after her, her red cape billowing behind her. There was blood everywhere, or what Grace thought was blood. It had to be a joke-- a Halloween prank. There was no way that an actual vampire would dress like that, would it? Grace tried to reason with the fact that vampires weren’t--- weren’t what? She didn’t know all that White Crest harbored, didn’t know the extent of what lived underneath its soil. Grace grabbed Mina’s hand and dragged her backwards, towards the door that they had come through. “Go, we have to go.” She wasn’t sure when she had adopted her flight response over the voice of reason to investigate what was happening, and maybe it was all that Grace had been through already, she wasn’t sure. The girl turned towards them, suddenly transfixed by their movements. “Oh no.” Grace felt her breath leave her. 

A bit shocked by Grace grabbing her hand and pulling her away, Mina dropped her books, but, really, that was the least of their problems. “Running, alright. We can-- Yes, running is good.” She looked for the path of least resistance, anyway to get Grace and then herself away from harm. It was only when she noticed Jo’s startlingly red eyes watching them that she stilled for just a moment, her heart pounding, before she stood in front of Grace and put on a smile. “Jo? Jo, it’s Mina, from statistics? I just finished grading your homework, Jo. You did really good!” She took a step back, pushing against Grace to get her to do the same. She’d get Grace to safety, and then it might be best for her to cut herself and lead the vampire away. Her dad always told her that Fae blood was supposed to be sweet to them. Mina felt jittery, and she was shaking a little, but she was resolute in her decision that no one else was going to get hurt by Jo. What even happened? Had some vampire turned her because her costume offended them? It wasn’t that bad… Okay, it was bad, but still. “Have you started looking at the next lesson? Have you been looking over random variables.” Another step back. The vampire was just cocking her head at them. Mina prepared in case she decided to charge.

“What--” Grace spun around as Mina came to a half. Was she talking to them? Grace wasn’t sure why her first thought wasn’t a student lead haunted house, because that’s certainly where her mind would have gone, had she not been so used to the way White Crest mixed and mingled with odds that were, for the most part, unreal. Her jaw went slack as she took a step back, her eyes on the vampire, whose name was apparently Jo. How did Mina know a vampire? Or maybe this was all fake, maybe this was a part of it. Grace swallowed thickly, her heart hammering in her chest. It was loud in her ears, too. Mina’s words were lost on her-- she had no input on this quiz, so she stayed quiet, allowing Mina to try and lure out whoever Jo was, maybe to try and drag her out of whatever bloodlust she had found herself in. Grace took another careful step backwards, and apparently that was the wrong move. Jo leapt towards them, a scream leaving her throat as she did so. 

For just a moment, Mina thought that she had a handle on Jo, thought that she was making the other girl see reason, before one misstep ruined it. She didn’t even have time to react as Jo managed to push past her towards Grace. Mina stumbled a bit over her own feet before she whipped around to see the “vampire” (she couldn’t be a vampire; she just couldn’t) on top of Grace. “Hey, no! Get off!” She attempted to pry Jo off of Grace, but whatever made her look like a vampire seemed to have given her the strength of one as well. This wasn’t possible. Jo had been in class just that morning, perfectly fine and human. There wasn’t-- She couldn’t have been changed that fast? Mina certainly didn’t think so. Vampire transformations usually took long hours if not days to come to fruition. She didn’t understand. Mina dug a few claws into the palm of her hand and wrapped her arms around Jo’s neck before smearing her sweet scented blood on her nose, close to where her mouth was on Grace. Grace’s blood touched Mina in a few places, causing her skin to sting where the iron hit and burned. But Jo seemed thoroughly distracted by Mina, by that point.

Grace had no time to react. She was hitting the ground, Jo on top of her. Before she knew what was happening, Jo was sinking her teeth into her arm. Grace let out a scream and attempted to push her off with her free hand, her fingers digging into the fabric of the girl’s shirt. “Get off of me!” Grace echoed Mina, struggling to get free from underneath Jo. Grace knew nothing about vampires, nothing past the Hollywood movies that had graced the magazines and movie theatres. Grace didn’t have time to think about the implications of what was happening, or what it meant when Jo bit her. Instead, Mina was above them now, Jo entirely distracted by the newcomer. Grace rolled from underneath of the two and quickly got off of the ground. Holding her arm against her, she stared wide-eyed at the two as Jo began to wrestle with Mina. Without knowing what to do, Grace picked up a book and chucked it at Jo’s head to dislodge her. “We’ve got to go!” Grace yelled at Mina, approaching her to drag her off of the ground, back towards the door. 

Wrestling with Jo on the ground in an attempt to get the upper hand, it was all Mina could do to not bare sharp teeth and slash at the vampire with sharp claws. She couldn’t expose herself here, and she refused to fight. As soon as Jo reacted to the book that Grace threw, Mina knew she’d have to think clearly before the vampire attacked the other girl again. But Mina couldn’t hurt Jo, not when the girl was one of her students, not when she didn’t have a bloody idea about what was going on. As Grace pulled her up, Mina made a split second decision; she took Jo’s cape and wrapped it around Jo’s face, getting her tangled inside it. Then, she began to drag Grace through the building. “Go! Go! Get up the stairs! I’m going to--” As they ran, she began shoving racks of magazines and chairs and little tables, anything that wasn’t bolted to the floor, behind them, making it harder for the vampire to follow. “Turn left!” she told Grace, not even looking at where they were going. She knew this building like the back of her hand. The little office she occasionally worked out of when she wasn’t at the tutoring center was close. If they could get there, they might be home free.

“Wha-” Grace watched Mina work quickly. She was smart, she had to admit that. Grace followed Mina’s instructions and ran up the stairs. The building was a maze, especially because Grace hadn’t ever stepped foot in it before. The thuds behind her had Grace turning ever so slightly to watch as Mina created an obstacle course for Jo. She ran as fast as she could, her chest already beginning to burn. When Mina yelled to turn left, Grace obliged. She skidded into another hallway, reminiscent of The Breakfast Club and ran as fast as she could towards the double doors. She shoved her shoulder into the door and it didn’t budge. “Shit, shit, shit!” Grace struggled with the door again, then looked to the keycard placed on the side. “Your badge, where is your badge?” Grace yelled loudly, shoving against the door again, pressing her forehead against the glass. The sound of footsteps were loud behind them. If they didn’t get out now, there was no telling what they might have to do to Jo. The dark thought crossing Grace’s mind sent a shiver down her spine as she watched Mina in desperation. 

Bloody hell, where was Mina’s badge? She stumbled towards Grace to the door searching around in her pockets and ohnodidshedropitpleasepleasepleasedon’tsayshedroppedit. Jo was getting close, and Mina still couldn’t find her badge, so she did the only thing she knew how to; she put herself between Grace and her student who had somehow become a monster. She had to. Where the fuck was her badge?! Mina had never taken down a vampire before, couldn’t possibly take down one that was her student, of all people, but she could certainly use herself as a way to ensure that others didn’t get hurt. That was as easy of a decision as she’d ever had. She would just need to be careful, would have to be strategic in making sure that she didn’t get hurt. After all, healing in the lake was out of the equation. Her bathtub only helped so much. She’d have to be-- She found her key in her jacket pocket, yanked it out and slammed it against the card scanner. “Get in!” she yelled at Grace, pulling the door open as she turned around to see Jo clambering through the last of the obstacles in her way.

Grace slammed her shoulder against the door again. She wasn’t sure why she continued to do so, it wasn’t budging. There was nobody else coming. It was just her and Mina, her and Mina alone, to what-- die? Grace felt her pulse in her throat, and it wasn’t until Mina was slapping her keycard against the wall that the door finally opened. She threw herself forward in an attempt to get through faster, her chin coming into contact with the floor. “Shit!” Grace rolled to her side and cradled her chin. “She can’t get in here can she?” Grace asked, wincing as she got to her feet. She was sure both her chin and shoulder would be bruised. She approached the door slowly, able to see through the glass as Jo thrashed against the door, just as she had. “Is she--” Grace stared in horror. Jo was a vampire. Vampires existed. “What kind of-- what kind of vampire dresses like Dracula?” Grace let out a harsh laugh, staring at the cape and slicked back hair. 

As the door clicked shut behind her, Mina set about piling things in front of it to ensure it stayed shut, only half listening to Grace. “She shouldn’t. She shouldn’t.” She pushed a filing cabinet in front of the door as Jo slammed her weight against the glass. “She shouldn’t!” Mina was breathing heavy, trying very clearly not to panic, but she was panicking, and she had a bit of a headache, and, please, she didn’t need to add a nosebleed on top of this. Deep breaths. They were safe now. She looked at Grace, making sure that she was, mostly, physically unharmed. “I don’t… I don’t quite know what’s going on. She wasn’t like this in class, earlier, and now… well.” Mina let out a high, shaky laugh of her own. “I suppose it’s a rather convincing costume, isn’t it?” She groaned and Jo’s attentions on the door seemed to die down a bit. With luck, she’d leave them be, soon. Looking back at Grace, she said, “Well, welcome to UMWC’s maths department. Apparently, we have vampires.”

[mbtiofwhys]

Some serious talk about MBTI

Debunking common myths and critics while understanding real flaws and how to move past them

Disclaimer

Our vision regarding the use of MBTI, and typology in general, is profoundly different from what the Foundation promotes and advertises;

Our knowledge comes either from directly studying Jung’s works or from browsing more grassroots sources, such as blogs here on Tumblr or discussions on Reddit;

We opened this blog for fun because we’re passionate about typology and its application to both introspection and fictional works analysis;

We don’t intend to turn down every form of criticism, but without the pretense to be 100% correct, we rather wish to see what are real weak points and what may be legit observations if not born from a misunderstanding of the system;

This is our personal view and opinion on MBTI, feel free to join the debate!

Main concerns

Not scientifically sound

Not supported by the psychology academic field / It’s just pseudo-science It’s true that typology can’t be proven by the current scientific method - it’s too much of a subjective topic. There’s a reason why both Freud’s and Jung’s works are studied as the beginning of psychoanalysis but their practice isn’t used by modern psychology anymore. But admitting that MBTI isn’t scientifically sound doesn’t mean it’s entirely unreliable. The E/I dichotomy is, for example, something based on our chemicals and neurotransmitters in the brain, so it has a solid basis and it may be helpful outside the MBTI context. (source: 1, 2) The key point, we believe, is shifting the view: we prefer not to consider the Indicator as a pure psychological tool, rather a more philosophical one. MBTI is, at least for us mods, a method: we always try to improve our understanding of the subject, but it isn’t restricted to the theoretical field, since we also apply it in typing fictional characters. So, there’s a theoretical basis to know and personal study is encouraged, but it’s definitely nothing scientific as we intend it nowadays.

Tests aren’t accurate

We know - we talked about it here. Approaching MBTI solely by tests generates huge misunderstandings about what typology is really about. More specifically:

You can get different results by retaking the test It’s due to the flawed essence of a test assessing personality traits, and it’s exacerbated by tests having a general focus more on behavior than cognition. This is usually about generic questions that may be too vague since online tests try to be relatable to a large set of people from different countries and cultures.

Forer effect/ vague descriptions We know about the Forer effect and we’ve read the profiles used in his experiments: they’re nothing like detailed, in-depth profile and analysis of each type, or even basic ones, if done properly. Take a look at mbtinotes for an example of how different (if not opposite) descriptions are for different (or opposite) types. Even in a basic form, they’re not vague enough for a person to relate to more than three or four of them at most. So, it’s true that MBTI has, in some cases, a ‘pop’ approach aimed to be understandable and clear for everyone, and this is counterproductive in the end. But the flaw lays in how it is conveyed: inaccurate tests don’t invalidate the method as a whole. 

It’s just a quiz/ it’s just like horoscopes The tests that bloom through the internet sadly validate the first point, as the majority of people answer the questions, read the type description, and then forget about it. But we firmly believe it’s nothing like the horoscopes. MBTI, if approached seriously, doesn’t have the pretense of predicting the future or explaining a person’s whole life, since it isn’t even an excuse for someone’s behaviors. It is true that many topics can be found about relationship pairs and career advice, but we tend to be skeptical towards those, and it’s not an approach we believe fit our vision of MBTI as a tool for self reflection. Type theory can give some insights on relationship dynamics in general (not only romantic ones) but this doesn’t mean it can predict the future or something along those lines.

Types are just stereotypes

They could be, depending on the interpretation. People are complex, they’re made of experiences, upbringing, hobbies, and so much more - personality is nothing more than a trait of someone’s individuality. One could say that people are not their type, rather they are somehow represented by it.

Putting something complex like personality into boxes People don’t know about cognitive functions based on Jung’s studies. Typology isn’t concerned about such things as hobbies or upbringing because - following Jung’s approach, at least - cognitive functions are innate and universal and determine one’s cognition. Meaning they can explain what information we prefer to look at, how we gather data, what we weight in making decisions. It’s all about the process - but the outcome and the individuality of a person, that’s on each one of us. This is also why tests are often inaccurate: they make examples based on careers, hobbies, and behaviors, leading MBTI enthusiasts to approach the subject as something more superficial than it actually is. However, the theory has its valid points, even if not always approved by academics, but it’s usually studied by a minority of people since (and it’s understandable, we aren’t judging) it requires time and effort to go deeper into the subject.

16 types are too few The four letters have meaning. Dichotomies exist, but they only work on a superficial level. In reality, the four functions are rather a continuum: they develop throughout a person’s entire life and work in pairs, three at a time, or even all fours together. The whole system is much more complex than people give it credit for by merely taking a test. And anyway, a person is much more than just their four letters. As we stated above it’s ok to stop on a more superficial level, but this mustn’t be used as an excuse to forget about cognitive functions and how they describe in a more detailed way how people gather and use information through cognitive patterns.

Personality changes over time It does because we change. But this doesn’t affect functions. What people call ‘change’ is tied to growing into a (hopefully) better person as life goes on, learning from one’s own mistakes, and thus becoming a more aware and balanced individual. However, the way in which a person gathers data and uses them doesn’t change, it’s more a process about enhancing our strengths and polishing our weaknesses. This, either, doesn’t mean a person’s fate is dictated by which functions they possess: this is a rather unhealthy approach to typology. Excluding circumstantial factors that sadly play a role in the real world (wealth, gender, geographic origin, and so on), idealistically a person could do everything in his life, despite type and whatnot. Maybe some things will be more difficult, or easier, but since we are more than our type, other factors come into play: how we’ve been raised, what we like, what ideals we have, who we are, globally, as a person. The list goes on.

MBTI is a form of discrimination

This can be true - but not for us. MBTI is a tool: what you do with it, it’s on your own. Stating that sadly, there are people who use MBTI as a form of discrimination doesn’t invalidate the subject.

Used in corporate settings, but not by psychologists We personally disapprove and discourage the use of MBTI to dictate people’s work and life. We don’t like how the Foundation promotes it for commercial purposes exactly because it is not a scientific nor a statistical tool. A person is more than four letters. Choosing a career based on an (often) inaccurate test is not advised, but understanding how our own cognition works may be useful to become a better person. Again, behaviors aren’t cognition.

Our personal dos and don’ts with MBTI

Do

Take it as a tool to promote introspection and self-reflection, but only after a proper study of the subject. We don’t recommend to use MBTI as a theory to dictate one’s career, but it’s still an interesting way to better understand oneself. Without falling into confirmation biases, MBTI may be a great way to become more aware of one’s own qualities and flaws, learning how to live in a more healthy and functional way.

Use it as a framework to dissect fictional works (very satisfying!)

Use it for meme material. Yes, memes have great potential and may light up your day!

Think of it as a pair of lenses: you can see reality through it and gain some nice insights but in the end, reality will always be so much more than what you can experience by only using a single pair of lenses.

Don’t

Use it as a replacement for professional help - both physically and mentally. Mental illnesses are unrelated to MBTI, so using the subject to validate them or deal with them may be harmful. MBTI is a great tool to better understand one’s strengths and weaknesses, not a replacement for proper treatment. There is no shame in being in need of help and we encourage you to seek it if necessary.

Use it to discriminate against other individuals - cognition doesn’t know gender, wealth, ethnicity, or education. There isn’t a better type, even if the community sometimes romanticizes certain ones. You are valid, no matter what a test says about you or what the community thinks.

Try to gain profit from it.

Use it to justify whatever behavior or decision you make in your life. Cognitive functions may help you to discover your patterns and how you act, but they can’t dictate what you can or can’t do.

Thank you for reading this article until the end. All of this is our personal view on the subject, so further discussion and contributions are encouraged and appreciated! If you are a beginner and wish to delve deeper into the subject, we’re not an educational blog, perperly, but here you can find a quick beginner’s guide.

Sources: Addressing typology and criticism; On the book ‘Personality Brokers’; The test is meaningless; How accurate is the test?; The test is unscentific; A popular but flawed understanding of personality.

[drjackandmissjo]

firewhisky on ice, sunset and vine

you’ve ruined my life by not being mine

Chapter 3 --- previous chapter --- next chapter

Harry Potter fics Masterlist

"Sorry, Blaise. Can't today." That had been the customary answer from none other than Draco Malfoy, prefect and general pain in Blaise's ass, despite still being one of his best friends. Since they had started their lectures, there had been an incredible array of excuses left and right, but enough was enough and all the brain abled Slytherins agreed it was time for an intervention.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Theo began protesting, in his usual disarmingly calm behaviour: "You've been saying that since the year started!" he all but yelled at the blonde, visibly losing his temper already.

"I'm busy okay, back off" came a defensive reply that left something to be expected, yet refused to lead on more.

"No, we're not backing off on this anymore" said Blaise, still seated down in front of his irritating Herbology textbook. He could also feel his temper rising, but managed to keep it contained, remembering the neat way the muscles of a certain Gryffindor boy pulled wherever he scribbled a tiny note on a piece of parchment and choosing to focus on that to remain calm. He was really grateful they didn't have a legilimens in their house, otherwise things would've been even more awkward that usual. "Is this because of your new fancy position?" he asked, mustering as little discomfort as possible in his words, although the mere idea bothered him infinitely.

Draco's face paled of all its blood, eyes darting to look behind them all and to asses that nobody was spying on their conversation. "You know very damn well I can't talk about it!"

"Draco, you shouldn't keep secrets, you'll get wrinkles!" said Pansy, gazing her perfectly manicured fingers as lazily as possible. Blaise had wondered for their entire first year if she truly did not care about anything in the world or if that was an act, but quickly discovered that she cared way too much on occasion and it was smothering to say the least.

But her nonchalant remark snapped Draco out of his mind, and he replied with a hissed "Shut the fuck up Parkinson or I'll hex you into next week."

Blaise and Theo both laughed at the attempted threat, doubling over themselves in laughter as Pansy snickered sprawled over her chair. "How, may I ask, do you suppose to do so?" she asked, her blood red lips gleaming from the light of the fireplace in front of her, "You haven't been paying attention to class as much as you used to. You spend all your time daydreaming or staring at Saint Potter's tush" she added in a matter of fact way, voicing the thought they all shared.

Whether Draco was distracted by whatever dirty deed the Death Eaters wanted him to do or by Saint Potter and his rather objectively well shaped backside, formed finely by years of riding a broom and training, he was still distracted nevertheless, and that wouldn't do well on their collective well-being.

The blonde moved abruptly back, yelling such a forced "I DO NOT" that nobody in their right state of mind would believe. It wasn't as if Draco was out and proud or had even remotely hinted anything, but merely from a muggle statistic point of view, a class which his mother had forced Blaise to attend during the summer and he was incredibly grateful for, it was most probable that he was some sort of queer than anything else. He spent way too much time preparing himself to even see Saint Potter in the hallways, messing his hair and slicking it back countless of times to just "show him and his loser group of friends that we're so much better!" , to be even remotely straight. All of them would still love and care for him either way, as they would for Blaise, but the young boy understood the blonde's reluctance to share that little piece of information.

"Yes, you do, you queer puff. Don't deny it" continued Pansy, not wanting to let the subject drop and inevitably side-tracking from their original battle plan. Many headaches of Blaise's were caused by Pansy's inability to follow a scheme and still the only cure he could think of was to remove her head from her shoulders and leave it on the fireplace. That would've lightened his tension for sure!

But Draco was having none of it: suddenly as red on his face as a Gryffindor robe, he stood up from the couch and began walking away towards the dormitory door, leaving their intervention unfulfilled and useless. Another reason behind Blaise's headaches was Draco's ability to ruin all his bloody plans and intentions.

"Enough with this bullshit" he called back, looking distraught and uneasy, "I don't need your help and surely you don't need mine so kindly fuck off all of you. Let me know when you drop all this crazy shit!"

Blaise followed suit, exiting through the portrait after his friend and catching him up once he was near the staircases. "The fuck you want now?" asked the blonde, ire and hatred lacing his words. Despite it all, Blaise couldn't help but notice how his roommate was shaking, fear deep in his eyes.

He knew he should've tried to comfort, he knew he should've been patient, yet he couldn't bring himself to: while it was true that Draco didn't want to get in those awful games the adults of his family played, he still swore to fulfil whatever duty was asked from him, without mentioning it to his best friends and closest allies. He had a choice and choose to cower before the Dark Lord, he gave in to the threats and the violence and the bloody stereotype that Slytherins were evil murderers.

So when he spoke finally, they weren't kind words those that came out of him: "I would've loved to spend some time with you, you stupid bitch, even if it was studying, cause we rarely even see each other anymore. You're so busy either stalking Potter or doing Salazar knows what on the fifth floor." He saw Draco's eyes widen, the fear turning into full panic and then blow away as if nothing had fazed him in usual Malfoy Manner. Another headache was coming and Blaise wondered if he could go to Madam Pomfrey and ask her " oh hello! Do you have anything to rid me of those terrible pains inflicted by my awful Death Eater roommate, along of those terrible housemates of mine? ". Now, that would surely be an interesting reaction.

"Shut up, Zabini, you don't even know what you're talking about!" Draco whispered violently, checking that nobody was eavesdropping in the empty corridor. "Well why don't you start explaining?" he fired back, standing his ground with his full height and towering over the blonde, who looked like he was about to pass out at any given moment.

" Merde " he said eventually, after having gathered his thoughts, "I cannot talk to anyone about this, okay? Not even you, no matter how hard you push. He'll kill my mum if I don't do it!" He sounded more exasperated than scared now, as if he had already rehearsed that same conversation, probably with himself.

Still, Blaise needed all the answers he could get, "You mean…?"

"Yeah."

" Porca puttana Eva ." He passed a hand over his face, going straight to his shortly cut hair as if to ground himself. He had had doubts, of course, anyone in their right mind would have them and he was really surprised nobody from Saint Potter's squad was onto him like a guard dog. But thinking is one thing, having those thoughts acknowledged and confirmed was another topic entirely. Blaise felt as if the ground would open up from the stone under their feet and swallow them both whole. "Worse ways to go " he thought blandly.

"Indeed. So all I can ask all of you to do is cover for me and have faith in what I'm doing."

He uttered a dry laugh, trying to hide the nervousness that conversation was suddenly giving him. "How can we do it if you don't even trust us?" he asked roughly, hurt and very pissed off.

Draco now looked in full disbelief, as if he had never enthralled the thought of someone not following him blindly before. He supposed it might be true, since in their previous years he was always eager to agree with the blonde. But after their fiasco with Umbridge, Blaise swore to took with a grain of salt everything. Including his friendships.

"How can I trust you lot? I'm marked. I swore an oath. When the time is right you'll be too and we'll take back what's rightfully ours."

"You talk like a madman, and hopefully I'll never have a seat at that table" he said, stumbling backwards. 'Rule number thirteen: men are easily lead and get foolish as soon as they get a taste for any type of power or violence. Do not become like one of those' his mother told him and he didn't plan on disappoint her anytime soon.

"I'm gonna go back and study for the quiz tomorrow, and I highly suggest you do to" he said dryly after a while, regarding his friend with as little interest and concern as he could. And he then turned around, ignoring Draco's feeble attempt to snatch his attention back. For a seeker, he was trash at his job.

As soon as he crossed the threshold of the portrait, he was flooded with questions from his fellow housemates, but they all immediately shut up at the thunderous look on his face. Theo seemed to catch on and simply raised an eyebrow at Blaise, who pointedly ignored his roommate and moved back to his Herbology textbook. There had been whispers among the Pureblood Slytherins, many parents having fallen back into old habits and already planning the coming of their children. Blaise had not truly acknowledged those words, choosing to ignore them, never revealing his disdain towards so many of his friends' families.

His father had been amongst those and had perished when his mother was still pregnant, and she and his grandparents had raised him to loathe that idiotic, medieval, misogynistic and racist behaviour. " White idiots think like that, and you are neither" had told him his mother the first time he had brought up the Dark Lord and his antics. He agreed.

Struggling to concentrate, he tried to remember if asphodel was considered by the ancient Greeks the food of the dead or of the nymphs, but his mind was full of worries.

He definitely needed to go to the infirmary for a headache remedy very soon.

Glossary:

"Merde" s French for "shit" cause we all know that Draco's pretentious ass swears in French "Porca puttana Eva" Is basically "Holy burning shit" literally is "that fucking bitch of Eve"