#its a mutual interest in dumbasses and i love it

[chrollogy]

i. LETS GO TO SHIZUOKA!

miya atsumu x f!reader

── next: ii. Just me & you | series masterlist

synopsis: What better way to de-stress post-semester than going on a trip with your close friends? It’d be nothing but smooth sailing if you weren’t wedging some distance between you, and a certain blonde. Though, whether you liked it or not, the universe had its ways.

chapter content warning: college au, fluff, a hint of angst if you squint, atsumu might be a dumbass, mutual pining, requited unrequited love, forced proximity, slow burn, my poor depiction of japanese geography, reader can’t ride a bike for the sake of plot, not beta read, a little tame for now!

word count: 3.8k

notes: divider: cafekitsune. weeeee first chapter :> !!

‘You never really know when you’ve fallen in love. One day you just wake up and realise that it’s more than just shallow feelings.’

A phrase you’ve heard countless times growing up. You never really understood it well as a believer of love at first sight, thinking that the cliché ‘time slowing down as you see your lover before you’ was all there was to it to fully grasp the concept of love.

Kind of like in romantic movies where the camera dramatically pans around the main character after seeing their love interest—every person around you disappearing until all there was left were the two of you, heart racing a little too fast, the nervousness settling in—the whole shebang.

Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t as climactic as they ought to be in movies—not one soul magically disappeared until it was just the two of you, the time did not, in fact, slow down. If anything, your heart stuttered like crazy, threatening to leap from your rib cage and onto his hands as if they were its home. At least the movies got that one thing right.

It was down right frustrating leading up to the feelings you now had for none other than Miya Atsumu.

Some days were filled with fluttering heart beats, and dreamy sighs—tucking your chin on your palm at the blissful feeling of being infatuated with the blonde. As if on cloud nine, drifting along the feathery scenery atop a huge ivory cloud, cupid’s bow comfortably pierced right through your heart.

Other days were extremely unbearable, plagued with the ache of yearning, and unwanted jealousy—painfully digging your nails into your palm at the sight of someone else shamelessly flirting with Atsumu. It almost felt like a curse weighed upon you the day you were born, being smitten with a ladies’ man. On days like these, cupid’s bow uncomfortably dug into your heart like a painful itch—awkwardly poking out from your chest like an unconcealed badge saying, ‘Hey, look at me! I have a crush on someone who doesn’t even like me back. How stupid of me!’

Never mind that because the day it finally settled uncomfortably in your bones—that your feelings weren’t mere infatuation—you felt like you were in deep, deep shit. Absolutely fucked with a capital ‘F’ because suddenly the way Atsumu’s laugh sounded was like a sweet, sweet melody; an external stimuli to get your heart racing. The way his eyes crinkled, lashes kissing his cheeks as he laughed at a funny joke, oh, you were weak in the knees.

Your lovesick gaze unceremoniously bore into his handsome face, blissfully unaware of your raging feelings for him. You knew right then and there that love was what you felt for your close friend.

An uncharted territory that you swore to never step foot on, until now.

“You brought your passport?” Kita stared at the mini scarlet document resting between Atsumu’s slender fingers, brows raised with slight amusement. His expressionless question halted the quiet conversation amongst your group, all turning to look at the flustered blonde—his face now matching the colour of the passport in his hand.

“Y-yeah? Are we not supposed ta or somethin’?” Atsumu looked around at the growing amusement between his friends, except for Kita who only closed his eyes in defeat. The former looked over to you for help, honeyed eyes projecting a mix of slight panic and embarrassment, you could only look away in second hand embarrassment, cheeks heating from the eye contact.

“It’s a domestic flight, dumbass!” Osamu lightly smacked his twin on the back of his head, clicking his tongue at the lack of common sense. Before the two could even start their endless bickering, the line moved, signalling the group’s turn. Kita pulled the latter away with him to the check-in counter, saving everyone else’s ears being talked off with the twin’s petty arguments.

Winter break, a convenient time for you and your friends to get together and de-stress from the pressure of university. If anything, it was a purely spontaneous getaway trip to Shizuoka. The trip included a little pit stop to Tokyo for some much needed splurging—totally not your idea—before taking the train back down for Shizuoka.

It all started in the group chat with a lone screenshot from Suna, an on-going deal of inexpensive domestic flights from Hyōgo to Tokyo. There wasn’t even a message attached to the picture, just a wordless tactic in hopes to get the group together for an exciting winter ahead. First to see it was Atsumu, who immediately approved of the idea with an unnecessary amount of exclamation marks tied to his message. Then, it became a domino effect where the rest of the group voiced their interests, including yourself.

Next thing you knew, the five of you were holed up in the twin’s apartment—you and Kita sat on the chairs while the rest hovered behind, laptop on the table with a tab of the itinerary opened, and affordable accomodations in Shizuoka. With a quick transfer of funds from one bank account to another, you all looked forward to spending 4 days outside Hyōgo, 379 kilometres away from home.

Now, the five of you stood in the domestic terminal during the early hours of 7 AM, bound for Haneda Airport. Albeit, a bit sleepy, you were excited, deeming this trip as a little treat for making it through a rather tedious semester.

Sitting in between Suna and Kita, who respectively sat in the window and aisle seats, you took a moment to close your eyes as a muffled announcement from the pilot filled the speakers, the deep hum of the plane’s engines roaring as it moved up the runway, preparing for takeoff. Low murmurs of passengers, and the twin’s deep chatter behind you filled your ears like white noise, focusing on calming your racing heart.

You recounted a few minutes ago where Atsumu had opted to sit next to you, preferably on the window seat before Suna beat him to it, telling the latter that they had designated seats on their ticket, a teasing tongue poking out. ‘Like that matters.’ The blonde muttered, followed by a string of silent curses aimed at his friend before being ushered onto the next row behind by Osamu.

It was always like that with Atsumu and his spontaneity—he had no qualms sitting a row behind when you all had booked your tickets, even saying that he didn’t care wherever he sat as long as he landed in Tokyo in one piece. What drove him to change his mind was beyond your understanding.

Though, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t grasp onto that little hope of possibly sitting next to Atsumu for the whole flight. To your dismay, it dissipated the second you held onto it—all thanks to Suna Rintarou. Nonetheless, you would’ve felt awkward anyway, now that your heart weighed heavy with the burden of being hopelessly in love, and shamelessly pining.

You wouldn’t know how you would’ve acted during the span of 1 hour and 10 minutes; arms touching one another, albeit, covered in thick layers to fend off cold, and knees dangerously close—your cheeks heated at the thought. Sure, it was nothing intimate but that was Atsumu’s effect on you, and it absolutely drove you up the wall.

It wasn’t like this before, and you felt pathetic.

Gone were the days where you could hold a solid conversation with Atsumu without stuttering, and fidgeting like an idiot—where you were able to freely speak to him without any inhibitions weighing your shoulders. Come to think of it, the last time this probably happened was way back in second-year highschool. You were in second-year college now.

If you were being completely honest, you caught yourself unintentionally placing some distance between you and Atsumu, just a tad bit for the sake of your sanity. Could you really blame yourself? With the way he has been acting indifferent, it did some damage to your poor, poor heart—everyone had their limits and you were bound to reach yours soon enough. Especially with the coming days ahead, seeing him after you wake up, and before going to sleep. All in his glory.

Heavens above, have mercy on your heart.

Suna nudged you awake, head resting on his shoulder for the duration of the flight. You muttered a small apology as he let out a small groan, fingers digging into his padded jacket to massage the tense muscles of his shoulder. “We’re in Tokyo, sleepy head.” Atsumu prodded a finger at your head, poking his tongue out as you turned to face him, as if on cue, your heart beat picked up, only able to playfully roll your eyes in response.

Disembarking the plane, and claiming luggages proceeded without a hitch; thankfully, all your hard suitcases were still intact, and not shattered from the rough handling in the airport. After conveniently hailing a jumbo taxi, you were on your way to the heart of Tokyo. Naturally, Kita sat at the front passenger seat, having no trouble exchanging polite conversation with the driver. You and Osamu sat in the middle row while Atsumu and Suna were at the back.

You had to stop yourself from climbing to the back right after Atsumu did so, letting the brunette happily go instead, earning furrowed brows from the former—one that you tried your best to ignore.

The sound of wheels rolling along concrete filled your ears, along with the hustling and bustling of Central Tokyo as the group searched for the nearest luggage storage. A sea of bodies clad in layers of business casual outfits, men and women alike hastily walked to their destinations. The beloved city was adorned with Christmas lights and decorations, radiant hues of red, green, and gold standing out against the dark winter coats locals donned.

That was to be expected, the start of winter break being only a day after Christmas. It always cheered you up in every sense, seeing all sorts of novel decorations put your mind in a better place.

“Alright! Now that’s done, let’s get somethin’ ta eat.” Osamu locked the storage behind him, quickly tucking his hands back inside his trench coat, puffs of white fog leaving his lips with every word spoken. This earned a handful of hums from the rest, without a doubt there were no arguing when it came to eating food.

Atsumu fell into a step beside you, letting out an exaggerated noise as he shuddered from Tokyo’s early morning winter breeze.

“Hey. Seems like I haven’t talked ta ya in forever. Y’ avoidin’ me or somethin’?”

The blonde teased, all smiles with a tinge of crimson painted on his nose, and cheeks—from the cold, you presumed. The lack of seriousness in his tone put you at a slight ease, at least you didn’t have to start explaining why you were kind of avoiding him.

You shook your head, a genuine laugh leaving your lips as his honeyed eyes met your own, “Me? Never.” This earned a proud smile from your friend, chest puffing in absolute pride underneath the thick layers of winter fabrics.

“Good. I dunno what I’ll do if ya start avoidin’ me.”

His saccharine gaze lingered on your own a little too long for your sanity, all you could do was blink in response, mind flying off into the unknown as your heart picked up its pace yet again. Atsumu’s velvety stare was intense, it was like standing under the blazing sun on a scorching summer day, making you feel all sorts of emotions from A to Z.

Suddenly, the cerulean scarf around your neck felt a tad too restricting, the puffer jacket you wore became awfully warm, and the crisp morning air of Tokyo seemed too thin. Everything felt weird all of a sudden—your skin prickled under his honeyed eyes, getting lost in them as each slow second passed.

“Oi! Are you two coming or not?” Suna’s voice sharply sliced through the enchanting trance you and Atsumu were under, jolting you both back into reality. The rest of them were already far ahead looking into shops for a quick bite, indicating that somewhere down the line, the two of you had stopped walking just to stare into each other’s eyes. How embarrassing.

The latter cleared his throat, embarrassment settling in upon realising the situation at hand. He muttered a quick ‘Let’s go’ before starting a slow jog over to the rest of the group, acting like he didn’t just stare into your soul for god knows how many seconds. Slapping your cheeks, and letting out a puff of breath, you headed towards your friends, navigating through the crowded footpath and making sure not to accidentally bump into anyone.

The next few hours consisted of wisely spending money—per Kita’s words—in the heart of Tokyo. Despite endlessly complaining at first, the twins and Suna were soon sucked into the shopping fever.

Though, the four of you had to worry about your luggages back at the storage, resulting in only buying items that you desperately wanted, and essentials. This unfortunately led to almost being late to the scheduled Shinkansen you all had previously booked, the only option was to quickly run back to the luggage storage, and up the train station just in time before the train departed.

Everyone did their best to keep their heavy breathing in check, trying not to come off as rude to other passengers as well as saving yourselves from the embarrassment of unsolicited stares. You relaxed on the azure seat beneath, situated between the window and Kita—who sat in between you and Atsumu, the other two were on the next row over.

Your gaze turned to the large window beside you, overlooking the opposing platform as the engine of the Shinkansen quietly whirred, signalling the impending departure. Due to the non-rush hour at the quiet time of 1:57 PM, it wasn’t packed at all, only a few commuters coming in and out of the station to get on with their day-to-day routine.

As the Shinkansen slowly advanced to full speed, the outside view quickly turned into a mix of blurred hues; tall buildings decorating Central Tokyo gradually turned into greenery and suburban areas.

The afternoon sun peeked from the winter ivory clouds, seeping into the window to cast a radiant, warm glow upon the three of you. A subtle reflection of Atsumu’s peaceful profile projected on the glassy panel, allowing you to carefully trace each and every detail of his handsome features—the slope of his nose, flaxen strands framing his face, and those rosy pink lips you’ve always longed to touch with your own.

Tucking your chin atop a palm, you shamelessly stared at your friend’s reflection through the window—you watched as his honeyed eyes focused on the scenery before him, angling his head your way to get a good look of the view. Atsumu’s lips ever so slightly pursed with pure fascination, his Adam's apple bobbing with awe, you presumed with the speed of the Shinkansen.

Oh, how wrong you were.

“Staring a little hard, aren’t we?”

You were met with Kita’s warm gaze as you whipped your head around, albeit, rather quickly as if caught doing something you shouldn’t be. His stare held a hint of mischief—something that rarely ever occurred which caused your cheeks to shamelessly heat up. The man wasn’t even fully teasing you or anything—not that he normally did so—but it roused quite a reaction from you: fidgeting at the hem of your jacket, gaze avoiding Kita’s expectant ones, the slight part of your lips, not to mention the small stutter your heart did but you weren’t going to let him know.

Absolutely not.

On the other hand, Atsumu stared out the same window, albeit, not directly at the view outside but rather at the reflection of your side profile on the glassy panel as you animatedly explained yourself to Kita. He couldn’t hear what the two of you were talking about as he resorted to using earbuds a few moments ago, blocking out the white noise.

Atsumu let out a small chuckle—one that was drowned by the hum of the Shinkansen—as he admired you from the window, a subtle smile involuntarily forming at the look of your flustered state. How adorable. Naturally, his eyes drifted down to your plush lips as it moved with every spoken word; Atsumu could only fantasise the feeling of it against his own.

The blonde swiped his tongue across his bottom lip before letting out a small huff, and closing his eyes shut—stubbornly depriving himself of your beauty.

More than a few times in the past, Atsumu has caught himself shamelessly wandering along the borders of ‘friends’ and ‘lovers’, brazenly walking along the fine line that split the two territories—as a matter of fact, in his eyes, the line was so damn thin that it almost appeared blurry. Dangerously blurry. But Atsumu was a thrill seeker, and would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to venture out into the uncharted territory called ‘lovers’.

For as long as he could remember, Atsumu has been patiently sitting by this uncharted territory—endlessly waiting for the day where he’d finally be able to cross that line without any hesitation in his bones. It was delusional of him, really, because at the very back of his mind—carefully tucked and hidden—Atsumu knew he probably didn’t stand a chance. That one day, he’d helplessly watch another man effortlessly cross the line.

He could only hope that was him.

Fortunately, the rest of the train ride was peaceful until Mount Fuji came into view from the distance; the stratovolcano proudly stood in all its icy glory, looking over Shizuoka and Yamanashi—its snow-capped tip slightly peeking from a blanket of clouds. The five of you didn’t hesitate to pull out your phones to start taking photos of the famed mountain, all amazed by its conical form.

After a few more clicks of the symbolic Fujisan, with selfies here and there, the train finally arrived in Shizuoka Station—greeted by the city’s skyline surrounded by impressive sights of nature. Hauling your respective mini luggages, and shopping bags from Tokyo, the five of you, surprisingly, made it to the hotel—located in the heart of Shizuoka—only a stone’s throw from the train station.

Greeted with a homey view, the hotel’s vast foyer was warmly lit, decorated with artificial plants here and there along with lots of comfortable spaces to sit on. Faint jazz music filled the rather deserted place, footsteps along its marbled ivory floors echoing loudly. Kita, and Osamu made their way to the counter—the latter only trailing behind to inquire about amenities—whereas Suna beelined for the nearest toilet, leaving you and Atsumu on luggage duty.

Great.

The blonde unceremoniously plopped down next to you, cream-coloured couch groaning beneath his weight as he yawned, pairing it with a full body stretch. How cute. It reminded you of a cat stretching right after waking up, face scrunched and all. Atsumu sat way too close for your liking, the heat of his right side spilling onto your left—it wasn’t even a comfortable kind of warmth, no, it mirrored the intensity of a hot, sunny day. Despite the lack of skin contact, his touch lit your body with a searing blaze. You scratched at your neck, the familiar prickling sensation coming back for the nth time.

It was awfully quiet, the crisp winter air turning thick, and awkward as each slow second passed. All of a sudden, the wooden coffee table before you looked rather interesting, eyes tracing its natural surface pattern. It didn’t look this cool a few seconds ago. The faint jazz music still played from the hotel speakers, a mocking symbol of the lack of conversation between you and Atsumu.

The latter awkwardly cleared his throat, hand coming up to rub at his nape—a nervous habit he’s picked up, and you knew that too. He turned his mind upside down, and inside out to think of anything just to clear the somewhat awkward air between the two of you but his thoughts fell short. For the first time in a while, Atsumu was rendered speechless. When did it get like this?

“We should do a bike tour. I saw an ad for one outside just before we came in.”

Suna strode over to the two of you, hands snug inside his pockets. What a life saver. “I think it's like a 3-hour tour, though.” He muttered before pulling his phone out, mindlessly scrolling on it.

“Won’t it be snowy?” Osamu replied from behind, Kita trailing closely, room keys and a pamphlet in hand. “Shizuoka has very little snowfall. I think we’ll be fine.” The ivory-haired male interjected, earning a hum from Suna. Before the group could further discuss today’s plans, you spoke up,

“I can’t even ride a bike.”

“Ditto.” Atsumu groaned.

“Well. Technically, I can. Jus’ a bad experience from childhood. Haven’t gotten on one since then and not about ta start now.” The male beside you shrugged whereas his twin chuckled at the recollection. Must’ve been quite a memory for the two, you presumed.

You shook your head, reassuring the group, “Don’t mind me. I can rest up a bit while you all go out.” It wasn’t much of a big deal, anyway. Plus, a good 3-hour nap sounded like absolute heaven to you right now, especially after waking up early this morning. It was only the first day of the trip, and there were more planned activities ahead with the group so you didn’t mind.

The door to the hotel room opened up to a cosy, expansive suite inspired by traditional tearoom elements in Japanese-style—gasping at the intricate vases and traditional scrolls that decorated the room. The suite included two Tatami rooms—excluding the small kitchen, and living room—adorned with cosy futons. Overlooking the vast city of Shizuoka, it gave a sense of luxury amongst the homey vibes of the room.

A few shuffling here, and there, the group agreed to part ways for a bit, and reconvene for dinner—Suna, Kita, and Osamu headed for the bike tour whereas you and Atsumu stayed behind for a much needed peaceful rest.

If peaceful was even the word to describe it.

“We’ll see ya at dinner. Have fun.” Osamu shot his brother a look, one that made you stop in your tracks. A subtle smirk plastered all over the former’s face which looked just like the usual expression Atsumu always wore, it didn’t help how Osamu looked exactly like him.

What the hell?

A resounding thud reverberated throughout the walls as the door shut behind the silver-haired male. There was a slight pause, a heartbeat of silence before Atsumu turned to you, hands on his hips, mirroring the smirk his brother gave just a few seconds ago. You gulped, meeting his honeyed gaze.

“Looks like it’s just me and ya with three hours ta spare, huh?”

Three hours with Miya Atsumu. Alone. How convenient.

—

taglist (closed)

tags: @ushijimaschubbs @tsumudoll @starlitsawamura @littlemiyastars (kind reminder to turn your mentions on!)

© chrollogy 2024 | don’t plagiarise, repost or steal my header.

[ma3mae]

Hello!! I hope you are doing well, wanted to say I love your work !!

Can I request how the BSD boys (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Fukuzawa etc) would react to gf!fem!reader saying “I am just a hole” after they did something attractive? Something fun and suggestive ehehe~

No brain, just horny!

Summary: No one cared about you being down bad for you bfs since everything's mutual, right? (Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Fukuzawa)

Genre: fluff, maybe crack, def suggestive themes, maybe a tiny tiny bit of smut. Who knows 💀

Warnings: yall gonna be horny after this 🤓

A/N: was kinda difficult to think of fitting scenarios but i had fun writing this!! Also thank you for loving my work, anonnnn 💕💕💕💕

Part 2

Dazai Osamu

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAAAAAAT 💀💀💀💀

HES HORNY 24/7, DONT EXPECT HIM TO HOLD BACK LMAOO 💀💀😭😭

okay okay so lets say yall are at the ADA office

hes done with annoying the shit ouf of kuni and now hes just sitting on the couch, literally bored out of his mind

Kuni tells u to tell "that dumbass idiot of a boyfriend🤩" to finally get back to work so u go up to him

u know that scene where he leans his head back onto the grave and slowly tilts it back down and opens his eyes while having that soft smile on his face? oda's only purpose was him dying so we'd get that scene, crying fr 😭😭😭

Yeah hes doing exactly THAT as he notices your presence infront of him, flashing you a smile and only for it to spread even further as he notices your dazed face 💀

"Oh, bella? Too lovestruck to talk to me, I see. Can't help it that I'm just so hands-"

"I'm nothing but a hole for you"

I DONT KNOW HOW SOMEONE COULD EVEN SAY THAT 😭😭 THATS SUCH A WEIRD THING TO SAY AND SO DUMB BUT NO ONE CARES 🥲🥲🥲

AND HIS HORNY ASS DOESNT GIVE TWO SHITS EITHER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

his eyes are fking bulging as he hears you say that infront of him

ACTUALLY shocked that you had the guts to legit say that outloud and luckily no one rly heard that except him he wouldnt mind if the whole ass office wouldve heard that, we KNOW 💀

you manage to get a good laugh out of him before he just shoots you that god awful handsome smirk before he suddenly stands up

Towering over you, he leans in and whispers "Never thought you'd be so dirty to say stuff like that during working hours. Not that I'm complaining! I'm glad to have such a strong effect on you, bella~" got me blushing fr😳😳😳

Its too late to realise what you've just said. Your fate has been sealed.

OFF TO HORNY JAIL YALL GO 💀💀🗣️

no jk but nah nah he wont stop there

Youve awakened the fking horny beast in him and how could he refuse his love offering herself so blatantly while your coworkers were literally in the same room?? 🤩😋

He just takes your hand as he proceeds to leave the office

Kuni just yells "Oi, where the hell do you think you're going?! Only told you to tell him to work! Not join his stupid shenanigans!! 😡😡"

YOU KNOW that ur bf just turns around and shoots him that annoying ass smirk, only to say

"But Kunikida, we are off to work actually! Nothing you'd be able to do anyway. Tell me when you've found something interesting in all that paper work of yours! Can tell you that our job will definitely be more fun than that~ 😁😁"

You can only give poor kuni a sheepish smile as atsushi just deadpans at the both of you, muttering a "good luck 😐" towards you as your bf just drags you to his car because your job's gonna be too loud to do at the ada and going home wont be an option since dazai's not patient in that sense 💀💀💀

Already sending prayers to you for having to go back to "work" while being sore af and dazai looking like he got out of a 10 day wellness vacation 😭🥲🥲

dazai's actually gonna spare our poor kuni by kinda doing some paper work but our man will be forever traumatised bc hes not oblivious 🗣️

Especially after seeing your neck littered with hickeys 😭😭 u cant hide them, youve got a damn mosquito as a bf 💀

kuni just tosses a bottle of water your way without looking at u bc he thinks its not modest to shamelessly look at them 😤 I LOVE U KUNI

"thanks, i guess" is all you'll hear from him bc at the end, you DID get dazai to work but at what cost 😭

Kunikida Doppo

Flabbergasted. Shocked. Disappointed. Shamefully not too hard to turn on. 💀

His first reaction is gonna be like u just told ur mom u forgot to do the laundry 😭

DEF gonna scold your ass off for saying such things in such an inappropiate setting

its not your fault hes being so hot during work 😤😤😤😤

Tell him off for being so handsome!! 🤩

Wont stop his scolding but u cant take him serious when hes fumbling over his words

Still manages to thank you for ur compliment even though its embarassing af 😭 no way would he refuse such kind words from his love 😋

So anyway it could go two ways with him

The first would be if yall wouldnt be alone at the ADA

You go up to him to ask him about a report you need help with

Ive never seen kuni tie his hair up but... imagine catching him doing that...

With the hair tie in his mouth as he pulls his hair back and like...

It makes u think of the times you'd yank it back during yk what 🤭

So he notices you gape at him and is all like "🤨 are you alright?"

Cue to you just uttering "Damn, kuni. You only gotta ask. Am just a hole for you anyway" out of nowhere

LMAO you can just hear dazai cackling from the couch as your bf just looks at you like 😳 with his mouth agape and everything

Dazai just walks up to you to pat your shoulder

"Kunikida, you've got quite the daring girlfriend!" "SHUT YOUR ANNOYING MOUTH UP"

kuni just quickly ties his hair back and BROO he nearly feels so violated and exposed 😭😭😭😭

Why would u do this to him AT WORK 😭

Ngl u and dazai prob team up to annoy him to death like hes just so fun to TEASE 😤

Anyway he just tells you to get back to work and when u tell him you need some help, he begrudgingly does it bc its important but you can still his hands shake a bit and his face is red as he tries to give you advice on ur work skskksks 💀

Be ready to get scolded for HOURS when yall are on ur way home 🤓

But dw u know how to shut his beautiful mouth up 🤭😋

But if you do the whole thing while yall are alone at work bc kuni decided to stay a bit longer then THATS a different story

Lets say he does the same thing again as above ^ and u say the same thing

He'll def turn a bit red and tell you that you cant say stuff like that during work!

"But kuni, we're alone and no ones gonna come back anyway. It's nearly 8pm after all."

The sun's setting and the only light that softly illuminates the room and it just steals ur fking breath bc 😭 hes so gorgeous with his hair open 😭😭😭

But u can still see his gaze on u, making ur knees weak bc BROO

horny jail for kuni too????? 💀💀💀

jk but he'll clear his throat and just say "a work place is still a work place so i cant let this inappropiate behavior just go like that..."

You're like standing infront of him and he grabs you by your waist, softly kneading it as he tells u to sit on his lap 😭

"Will teach that mouth of yours how to behave. Maybe after this you'll be a bit more tame. Think that idiot has been a bad influence on you like he has with everyone but don't worry. I'll be sure to teach you everything again."

I'll let you imagine the rest here 🤭🤭

Edogawa Ranpo

man just wants to eat his candy in peace, get ur horny ass away from him 🤨🤨🤨🤨

u thought dazai's a whole bitch???? Nah nah this is a MAN CHILD right here

This man wont give u what u want, nah he'll let u suffer alone LOL 💀💀

if this happens at work then 🤷 honestly depends on what mood he is i think

its a hot day in yokohama and the air conditioning is not rly helping yall

so u kinda wanna go grab some ice cream during ur break and u dont need to think twice about asking ur bf to go with u

fr he'll be SO annoying if u dont take him with u 💀 but dw he obviously knows why u r approaching him rn 🤩

but he takes a while to catch on why u just stopped and looked like a fish rn like a combo of this :0 and 😳

he just goes "🤨"

"Damn, the bathroom's close. 'am just a hole for you anyway so let's go" u legit go 😨 after realising what u just said

How no one hears that, idk but this hoe DEF heard u well

U r even more scared bc he just sits there and doesnt react but oops

only needs some sec before he opens his eyes and smirks at u 🤭

"Eh~ You've got guts, Y/N. Saying naughty stuff like that during work hours. Not that I mind though. Just shows how smitten you are by the World's Greatest Detective~"

"N-"

He just waves a finger at u like you're a lil kid getting scolded rn 💀

"Ah ah ah, don't try to refute that fact. Can't blame you for your reaction after all. It's still funny to me that all it took was me losening my tie, gliding a hand through my hair and open up a button of my shirt. ~ "

He just gets up and gives you a peck on your cheek before walking ahead

"I still want that ice ream though! If it's good then I'll give tending to your needs a thought!" 💀 THIS BITCH

but dw he'll make sure to show u how smitten he is after that bc ur mouth just tastes better after some sweet ice cream, right 🤓??

but u know whats the best combo with saying that sentence?

a jealous ranpo 🤩

like ok quick scenario

lets move this outside of work, ok?

So yall are walking around and some random dude decides to hit on u and hello 🤨cant he see that u r legit holding hands with the world's greatest detective??

u kindly tell the man to fuck off but nah hes not letting u chill

wraps protectively his arm around ur waist, clearly showing him that YOU. ARE. TAKEN.

"with that scrawny lookin dude???" bro hes got a death sentence 💀

time for ur bf to show him his skills 🤭 which means threatening him to expose everything about him

immediately tells him where he lives, what he does for a living, where he likes to shop, where his parents live. E. V. E. R. Y. T. H. I. N. G

he just smirks and puffs his chest slightly out as that dude just fking runs off bc id be terrified too 😨

He deserves it tho ✋

"What a fool! Thinking he could challenge ME?! The greatest detective to ever live! See how terrified he was!" hes fking cackling before stopping as he sees ur face

brothers and sisters, we are LOVESTRUCK

and that hoe cann see that right away 💀

"Thank you..." like should we say how hot that was???? maybe 😳😳???

"And?" AH obviously he got us 😭

but we too embarassed to say smth but NICE, theres a nearby alley so u know where hes dragging us 🤩

Pressed up against the wall and hes just centimeters away from u as he asks again

"That wasn't everything you wanted to say, right~? Of course you find me" hot" but just wanna hear it from you, love."

"FUCK, am just a hole for u" 💀😳

goes wide eyed for a sec before chuckling and saying "Well, that wasn't what I wanted to hear but I'll let it count!"

His eyes travel down your neck before finally saying "Hm, I've got an idea in how to make everyone know that you're taken. I deserve a little treat after having saved you, no?" 🤭🤭🤭 got me blushing fr

Anyway problem solved, no one made moves onto u after that and it might turn into a habit before yall go out for the next times 🗣️

But no one's complaining hihi 🤭🤭😳

Fukuzawa Yukichi

oh god where do i even begin 💀

i gotta hold myself back from getting off topic when it comes to HIM 😭

honestly this man has seen and experienced so many things, u gotta do a lot to catch THIS man off guard 💀💀

bro he had to deal with mori's ass in his 20's for too long and STILL deals with it till this day 😐😐😐😐😐

not to mention the agency is like his fking orphanage at this point 😐

Already enough that his first child is still a child with his thirty years of living on this damn planet 🤓

lets say u work at the ADA as well and now yall r holding a meeting to go over some details for a random mission

Idk if its just me but... the way he sits there and is leading that whole shit, telling em what to do and how they could handle it the best way, while encouraging everyone to work hard n stuff... idk....

Its just so HOT 😳😳😳🤭

like hes so charismatic, fuck dazai, yall cant compare ANYONE to this man 😭😭😭😭😭😭 no wonder everyone follows him, id lick his shoes too 😭😭 HORNY JAIL FOR ME?????

anyway he dismisses everyone and the both of you are the last ones to be in the room bc u r just sitting at the table and staring at him like 😳

Dw my girl, hes been noticing the way you've been looking at him the whole time

"Is everything alright, my love? You've been staring at me for quite a while now."

"N-No its nothing 😳"

nah no need to hold back bc we know our knees r gonna buckle the second he takes ur hand

AND HE DOES 🤩🤩

his eyes slightly crinkle at the end as you can see amusement dance in them

"I know that look when something's on your mind. I'll respect your decision to not tell me but I'd like to know what it is."

honestly your red face is already proof enough whats on ur mind but how can u hide it when hes just looking at you with such an intense gaze UGH I LOVE THIS MAAAAAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"W-Well the way you just handle everything with ease even though its a lot of pressure and i dont know...it's just really admirable but also hot when you tell them what to do. wouldnt mind you doing that in the bedroom too, you know. id be a hole for u anytime like this... "

u tryna mumble that shit out of embarassement but he clearly heard you 💀

And he does go wide eyed out of surprise because DAMN thats still pretty straightforward and was kinda the last thing he'd thought you'd say but honestly... he doesnt mind it 💀

in facr hes liking it a bit too much for himself 💀💀 but who is he to complain? Especially when his lover is being so honest with him?

" So you want me to be a bit more authoritative in the bedroom? I-It might be a bit awkward for me to do so but if it's something you desire then we'll gladly try it out together. We should be done with the mission around the evening but if not then..."

you feel his hands gently cup your face as he presses his lips against yours before pulling a bit too soon for your liking

"Then I hope this will suffice until then. I'll be sure to thank you for your patience after everything's over."

THE ONLY THIINNGG

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN DO IS SAY YESSSS 🤩🤩😭😭😭😭😭

IDC IF IM NOT SPEAKING FOR EVERYONE BC

We WILL wait for him OKAY 💀💀✋✋✋

he just strokes your hair lovingly as you try to hide ur face bc hes just too blinding

anyway as the both of u get ready to leave, yall just hear quick shuffling behind yall bc OOPS

THE DOOR WAS OPEN 💀

THE KIDS DIDNT LEAVE LOL 💀💀 THEY HEARD EVERYTHING

"😳☺️🤭😏" u can choose which ADA member would make which face 💀💀💀

ngl u prob sometimes call them ur children and BRO

ranpo actually annoys u for some candy ngl 💀

u once punched dazai's gut bc yk he'd ask the stupid question like

"if you're our mom, would that make you a milf?"

send him back to the MAFIA trash can he came from 🤩🤩

jk but might write a oneshot about him even tho hes difficult to write 💀

will def do a part 2 of this bc it gives me an excuse to simp for these men 💀

[namig42]

Was chatting with my lovely mutual @mortalasystem about my Wyllstarion fic Just One Yesterday and some of the inspo that got me started on it, and I thought why not share those things with people who might be looking for good recs? With that, here are some of the biggest inspirations for my super involved story!

Friday Nights by @sadinasaphrite

So the first and probably most prominent inspiration for a modern au is this wonderful Bloodweave fic called Friday Nights over on ao3. I really loved the chemistry between Gale and Astarion in this one, and Gale's perspective was very interesting, especially with the mix of magic still in this au. Wonderfully written, very considerate of Astarion's circumstances as a sex worker, and a happy ending to wrap it all up nicely!

Read it on Ao3

Sex worker/Charity worker Halstarion AU by @malacandrax

This comic has nine parts as of now that are all little snippets of Halsin being a concerned social worker and Astarion as a sex worker in a 70s/80s UK setting. OP really took a lot of consideration writing this one and portraying realistic steps that someone in Astarion's situation could take, and I love how they really captured both characters so well. The progression between the Astarion and Halsin is really nicely done, even in such small snippets. 11/10, definitely recommend.

Link to Part 1 here

Perfect Slaughter by @imagineitdearies

This is a Tavstarion fic that honestly captivated me so much from beginning to end. It's a long form fic that is incredibly compelling and is an alternate au prequel to the events of BG3. Tyrus, the protagonist, is a very compelling original character, and his relationship with Astarion in the hell that is Cazador's palace was so well crafted. This was the story that had me wanting to explore more relationships with Astarion in my own writing, focus on dark topics and give them the respect they deserve such as trauma, abuse, and torture, and try my own hand at writing something long form. It's gotten a great deal of praise, all of which is well deserved, and I cannot recommend it enough.

Read it on Ao3

The funny thing about my Wyllstarion thing was that there was actually very little Wyllstarion inspiration. I saw some good art here and there on tumblr, but not very much at the time. My dash was mostly bloodweave if anything. Still, there was just enough of an inkling in my head of Wyll and Astarion, and then a dumbass idea came to me one day.

I wrote it in the first chapter's notes on Ao3, but the thing that kicked this multi chapter obsession into gear was...

Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy

A song off a ten year old album. That's what did it. Specifically the lyrics:

Anything you say can and will be held against you,

So only say my name. It will be held against you.

Those two lines had my brain swimming with a one-shot smut fic of a police officer Wyll and a sex worker Astarion, but a one shot wasn't enough for the romantic that is Wyll. I couldn't write him having a first meeting kind of fling. I wrote out the original one shot idea, let it sit for a couple months, and then suddenly, something clicked in my brain and the whole thing took off from there.

Still, without this lyric, the story wouldn't exist at all. Honestly, going back and listening to the whole song after everything I've written so far, I think it's a fitting title and song in its own way. Highly recommend giving it a listen if you aren't familiar!

---

That's all the big ones. If other things come to mind that I missed, I'll reblog this and add onto it. In the meantime, I highly recommend checking these things out and showing the artists some love! Thanks for taking the time to read, and I hope you found something new to enjoy!

[rab1darachn1d]

INTRO💥💥💥

Name: Ozzie/Sunday/Kafka + anyname from my url

Pronouns: he/they pref but idrc

Agender, bi, aroace spectrum

TVhead robotkin and spiderkin💥💥💥

Special interests are spiders(specifically tarantulas) and psychology

Dyslexic!!! Sorry for spelling mistakes/reading stuff wrong and please don't use super small or hard to read fonts when talking directly to me!!! Typing quirks are fine but if you can control them or add translations thats greatly appreciated

MINOR!!! idc if ur over 18 and interact or if we are mutuals but dont be weird please I will just block you

WE STAND WITH PALESTINE🇵🇸🍉

(@remindertoclick <- DO YOUR DAILY CLICKS OR I'LL THROW ROCKS AT YOU)

@mechcanicalmadness MY BESTESTFRIEND AND COOLEST DAD EVER ALSO GUY WHO MADE THE FIRST 2 ARTS BELOW 💥💥💥

@absolutelymadoka IS MY MAGICAL GIRL DAUGHTER !!!! THEY ARE THE SILLIEST AND NICEST EVER BE NICE TO THEM

I help with the @bungostraycreatures gimick blog acc go look at it its run by my bestest friend :3

@sundazeing is my icons/npt/moodboard blog!!! Requests are always open, read the rules and dni if u you have anything you want me to make B)

@queenofthecafe is my Lucy bsd rp blog >::)

(user box made by @/absolutelymadoka)

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

WARNINGS /BFYI / FOR MOOTS*****

-I type in caps a lot

-Im not very good a tw tagging things tho I try my best !!! If you get triggered by anything I post/rb lmk and I'll tag it

-I swear a lot !!! Like way too much !!! I do not give a damn abt slurs AS LONG AS YOU CAN CLAIM THEM !!! IF I FIND OUT YOU USE SLURS YOU CANNOT CLAIM I'LL CALL YOU A BIGOT AND BLOCK YOU

-Anything suggestive is a joke and do NOT make jokes like that to me if we are not friends I will call you a freak

-I like to give people nicknames/ shorten people's names(mainly if ppl have a long ass name/url and it fucks me up tryna type it) but if that bothers you lmk

-Not good with tone so I use tone tags, you aren't forced to use them but if you'd like it'd make communication easier

-I have a bad habit of randomly disappearing for a few days for whatever reason, so if I accidentally ignore you sorry, please don't take it personal

-If you are a shithead to my mutuals I will be a shithead towards you <3 also blocked <3

-DMS ARE OPEN !!! FEEL FREE TO TALKS/RANT/VENT ABT WHATEVER !!! however I'm not very good at socializing and if I seem rude, standoffish or awkward I'm so sorry💀💀💀

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SYSTEM THINGS*****

-i am the host and this is my acc though they post shit on here too

-their posts will be tagged with ***postinghours(sakepostinghours for an example)

-I love answering questions!!! However I am not a medical professional and I cannot diagnose you or speak for other systems!!!

-^ Don't ask abt triggers, alter roles or trauma I will ignore you or call you a dumbass nosey weirdo

-fictive heavy(dont be weird about them or theyll block you and idk probably call you a freak)

-^ don't bring up source trauma unless they make jokes about it first OR if they are friends with you

-^ First to treat any of them like a fictional character gets their limbs ripped off<33

-if ur another fictive theyd like to say hi but dont be weird and understand they might see you differently then how you remember them

-if you say "Can *** stop fronting/can you switch with ***" I will throw rocks at you and you will get blocked

-^ if u wanna talk to someone or have a message for someone we are happy to tell them

♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧♤♡◇♧

DNI*****

-basic dni(homo+transphobe, racists)

-"radqueers" and "transids"

-Proshippers and zoophiles(YALL R FUCKING NASTY GO AWAY)

-"radfems" and "terfs" (fuck you go away)

-Pro Israel mfs

-Endos/Tulpas/Willows/Mixed Origin, we will not participate in any syscourse but yall make me uncomfy

-^supporters of those

-"*** personality disorders are absuive" go away die go shoo get OUT(ily people with personality disorders)

-people who are against others with "scary" disorders fuck off you aren't helpful

-pro ed/"thinspo" mfs... wth are yall doing

-NSFW ONLY blogs (nothing against yall but im a minor)

-people who are shitty towards therians, otherkins, xenogenders, etc

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FANDOMS + FAVORITE CHARACTERS*****

Bungo Stray Dogs(Dazai, Verlaine, Fyodor and Lucy) is my main fandom and hyperfixation BUT here are some other fandoms of mine I still like

☆ = I still actively look at/take part in

♡ = not as active but I will scream abt if given the opportunity

♤ = I like it but I'm not updated with the fandom

favorite characters r not in order

-Jujusitu Kaisen(Gojo , Megumi , Itadori and Sukuna)☆

-Deadplate(Vincent) ♡

-Genshin Impact(Baizhu, Xiao, Diluc, Childe and Dottore) ☆♡

-Honkai: StarRail(Boothill, Sunday, Clara, Sparkle, Natasha and Aventurine) ☆

-Hollow Knight(Grimm and Quirrel) ♡

-Pokemon(EMMET AND INGO💥💥💥)(Also Galvantula, Reshiram, Gallipede and Eternatus) ♡

-Madness Combat(Deimos and 2BDAMNED) ♤

-Guilty Gear(Robo-Ky, Zato, Chipp, Ky and Happy Chaos) ♤

-Wuthering Waves(Scar and Lingyang) ♤

-Cookie Run(Espresso Cookie, Red Velvet Cookie and Rougefort Cookie) ♡

-RWBY(Qrow, Phyrra, Blake and Emmerald) ♡

-Project Sekai(Rui and Shizuku)♤

-Castle Crashers(Blacksmith)♤

-No Straight Roads(Neon J)♤

-The Property of Hate(RGB)♡♤

-Stardew Valley(Sebastian, Sam and Hailey)♤

-Omori(Captain Space Boyfriend, Hero and Kel)♡♤

-Howl's Moving Castle(Howl, Calcifer and Markl)♡

-Ponyo(Fujimoto)♡♤

-Punishment Gray Raven(Wanshi)♤

-Danganrompa(Kokichi , Keebo , Gonta , Nagito , Miu and Celestia)♤

theres others but those r irrelevant we dont talk abt the dark ages

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[oceanwithinsblog]

guys i've just been struck by a haunting query

y'know how i'm rewatching good omens for the nth time and i'm reaching the final episode, but something just came up to my mind and i can find no satisfactory answer...

in s2 ep1 (i believe) azi and crowley wonderfully perform half a miracle each, but obviously heaven notices and sends its best unit to check on what's happening in the bookshop. personally, i've always thought that said joint miracle was /that/ powerful because the metatron had already appointed aziraphale as gabriel's substitute archangel somehow (in my view, the metatron's offer to aziraphale at the end of s2 is just a pure formality as he had already made up his mind wayyyyyyy before going down on earth and meeting up with azi themselves). therefore their half a miracle was much stronger than crowley's.

here's where trouble comes. ever since i've rewatched that scene with my brother (who is doing an incredible job at keeping up with all sorts of gomens stuff on his first watch), i've been wondering if that's really what happened there. what is the actual reason why the combined miracle halves are so distinctive, fierce and recognisable?

my brother suggested the idea that aziraphale and crowley have little to do with it - the only reason why the miracle resonates so clearly and strongly is because they are performing it on gabriel (while holding both his hands). i guess he means that gabriel still has some of his powers left (as throughout the show he gets part of his memory back at random times and recites lines from the bible + he hasn't actually forgotten everything about himself) or that he is a very special entity of interest for heaven therefore whenever someone interacts with him there's a sort of alarm going off (?).

another idea that i got recently is, quite honestly, a very romantic one as aziracrow are both involved in doing a good deed. since love is the strongest power ever, in any universe and reality, and these two idiots' feelings are clearly mutual (without them knowing), maybe the miracle turned out to be so huge and mighty because what they're feeling for each other influenced the miracle itself and sort of multiplied its efficiency? i mean, i'd make sense somehow as later on we find out that another power couple is involved (gabriel and beelzebub). aziracrow's love for each other sort of mirrors beelzebub and gabriel's, i guess? but both their relationships are supposed to be a secret since heaven and hell should not ever collaborate (and i'm not even mentioning dating here).

what do you think? what is, in your opinion, the reason why the joint miracle halves worked but got inevitably noticed by heaven?

(it could also be that the answer has been given in the show and i'm too big of an idiot to find it out so please put up with my me. i'm just a dumbass in adoration of two more ineffable dumbasses.)

[katyspersonal]

your mutual friend group is terrifying and i love it

PFFFFTTTTtttTttTT I am glad to hear this, anon xD Honestly my random morbid cannibalism jokes is not even our final form, usually it goes more like:

nobody:

me, hyperexcited: GUYYYS GUYS I just realised something after playing BLORBOrne for 50th time, I am such a dumbass ahaha! Turns out that there is a very hard to see detail in the data of Boris (datamined by Russian hackers: ( x ))! The shade of his right eye is kinda white-ish which lines up with theme of losing eye color upon becoming a furry, so despite boasting about his grip he has been secretly reading furry pr0n comics more than he should have! (tagged: #blorborne #boris the cocksucker #blorborne observation #as usual I notice this kind of shit too late AAAAAAAAA #listen it is 5 AM don't @ me)

someone: Katy pls I don't even know who Boris IS 😭

me: What do you mean, he is an easy to miss summon in Horse-Plinked Village!!! By the way, there is a bunch of lore that can be concluded from his items that he never uses but they are in the game files, even though he doesn't have any dialogue!

someone: 😭😭😭

my friends FANDOMette, Wow and Chicken: *reblogging* (tagged: #this is sooooo interesting #really nice observation I never thought about that #I am NOT normal about this #blorborne #boris the cocksucker #nice to finally see more ideas about boris)

fareehaandtheitalians: Girl this is incredible I HAVE NO WORDS, I feel like I am gaining Insight points when I am reading your posts

Jara that reads like 'jara' and not like 'yara' lol: *reblogging* (tagged: #yeah nobody is really safe from corruption in this setting #just like in real life xd #no wonder that I like this game so much because it is just as hopeless as reality #xd #bloorborne)

Chicken: *reblogging from Jara that reads like 'jara'* *screenshot of the tags* GIRL ARE YOU OK 💀💀💀

me: *reblogging from Chicken* NO ONE WITH AT LEAST A BASIC AMOUNT OF BRAINCELLS CAN FEEL OK IT IS NO ONE'S FAULT THAT YOU THINK LIFE IS ANYTHING BUT FARM OF SUFFERING

me and Chicken: *start fighting in the reblogs with progressively ridiculous points about meaning of life and idiotic memes*

fareehaandtheitalians: *already started doodling a meme based on this, as if to immortalize it in a tapestry*

Boom: *reblogging the showdown at its final point when me and Chicken already obliterated one another into a bloody mess* (tagged: #ehehe #stay silly you two!)

other Elden Twink mutuals: *eat popcorn*

Comic: *reblogging* WHY CAN'T YOU TWO BE LEFT WITHOUT BEING WATCHED FOR EVEN ONE DAY?!

Jara that reads like 'jara': Lol I made everything become cursed again xd

Chicken: No, Jara (reads like 'jara'), it is not your fault! You see, none of this would have happened if SOMEONE finally admitted that they are simping for [insert a character that either has the worst haircut in the setting or is so generic-looking that it actually embarrasses me]

robertzombie: *reblogging* She WHAT? People in this fandom have the worst taste I swear

me: You see FRIEND, we will know who ACTUALLY has a bad "taste" when I try a meal out of certain "bird" if you see what I mean.....

Fandomette: KATY NO, DON'T EAT YOUR FRIENDS... You wanted to eat Mewmecolash or something stop 😭

me: WHY ABSOLUTELY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS SO DEADSET ON OUTING MY SECRETS FOR RANDOM PEOPLE TO READ?????? (tagged: #lmao as if anyone is going to read us after shit like this)

Chicken: THIS IS REVENGE FOR YOU MOCKING MY SON SURPHERROTH MWAHAHAHAHA

me: I AM ENDING THIS POINTLESS FIGHT HERE BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU PUNKS I HAVE SOME REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO *spends the rest of the day napping or watching cursed Elden Twink challenges letsplays*

Wow: *messaging me in Discord* Dammit what was THAT hahaha

me: Thank you for NOT having my back as usual, well, at least you are good for finishing a dumb post with lol

[habibialkaysani]

trope selection tag game

saw @laufire doing this and thought it looked fun :)

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers - ofc as a kathony fan I go with enemies to lovers, but I am 1000% a fan of friends to lovers when it's done right. there is just something so *chef's kiss* about both of these tropes tho and the switch that happens, that change in how two people see each other, that I legit can't get enough of <3

coffee shop au or flower shop au - I read the most amaaaazing westallen coffee shop au forever ago: gold, when you find me by @mmtions where barry is a coffee shop owner on the side when he's not the flash, and iris is a journalist who writes bad comics lol. I am partial to flower shop aus tho, @newtonsheffield's kathony florist au is excellent.

hurt/comfort or there was only one bed - I fucking love angst and hurt/comfort just hits all the right spots for me... the vulnerability??? bonus points if there's some whump???

found family or partners in crime - found family for the WIN! mostly because it reflects a lot of what I've experienced irl which is nice.

canon compliant or canon divergent - I love both tbh, but for writing, I tend to write canon compliant or canon fix-its that don't have enough impact on canon to be considered canon divergent (like this kathony one where kate and anthony weren't interrupted by newton)

domesticity or pwp - I write enough of it that it's kind of a given lol. I guess bonus points if it's pwp domesticity tho!

fluff or angst with a happy ending - I love angst with a happy ending bc it's like... you kinda had to work for it, if you get what I mean? whereas pure fluff, it depends.

1st person pov or 3rd person pov - I love 1st person in original fiction but I must admit I have yet to find an example where I don't find it jarring in fic. /@laufire

soulmates or forbidden love - I adore soulmates - whether soulmarks, soulmate aus where the world becomes in colour when you meet your soulmate, etc. esp when writers get really invested in the lore of the soulmate thing like this one and this one by antematter and then characters become emotionally constipated over not thinking they've found their soulmate or being stupid about it. so good.

roommates or fake dating - fake dating can be fun. Especially if it's for undercover shenanigans. /@laufire

slow burn or meet-cute - the slow burn is the BEST because the YEARNING and ANGST that comes with it. I love a good meet cute too, and as you can tell I'm a huge fan of tropes generally, but the slow burn becomes interesting as to what's stopping them from getting together - whether because they're enemies, or friends, or there's something forbidden about their love.

love triangle or polyamorous relationship - I love love LOVE love triangles! they get a bad rep in media but they are messy af and I just have way too much fun with them. I love a good polyam relationship tho.

royalty au or magic au - I have enjoyed a couple of royalty aus immensely - this bodyguard!anthony and princess!kate fic by @newtonsheffield (you can tell I'm a fan lol) and this one with queen kathani by @writtenbygracewilliams is bloody amazing.

high school/college au or neighbours au - I don't have a huge preference for either? but I did read a lovely neighbours au by @newtonsheffield where kate goes to anthony's flat to ask him to zip up her dress that makes me enjoy that one a lot more.

mutual pining or idiots to lovers - I fucking LOVE both of these tropes! esp when it involves two ladies bc that means double the useless lesbians :D but also I have a soft spot for dumbasses in love esp when it's mutual pining and they both think it's unrequited. that stuff is the BEST.

tagging: @ihaveastorminme @laurelwinchester @sophiainspace and anyone else who wants to do this!

[tempesttost]

Neurodivergent Nonbinary Polyamorous Fat Masc Bisexual Sadomasochist Socialist Smartass-Dumbass

They/She/He pronoun preferences may vary but they’re never that strong so take your pick

All the standard late 90s/Early 2000s nerd fandoms plus many many more, and too much time on my hands (terfs fuck off and die alone, though)

I also enjoy arguing for its own sake, as long as it doesn’t get personal I’m probably not gonna get mad even if you really really disagree with me (about low stakes things like media, or how to go about achieving mutual high-stakes goals)

Go look at some hotties of all genders, including my very own hole and pole, on my side blog

If you’re into @me that makes you gay

[foreverandalwaysyours]

"האחד"

I hope you find the one by total, complete accident.

Not on a bus to drama school, making flirty side eyes at. Not at a Halloween party, her dressed as Mabel and you Elivs.

The one who truly believed that love stories aren't real life- that its for movies. Fanfics. Not real...just pure imagination.

I hope you find the one who you bond over a mutual interest. Becoming instant pals over night, fighting annoying trolls and getting closer with each reply and like.

Becoming Best Fandom Friends quickly. Too quickly, even, for it to stay just a friendship for long.

I hope you find the one you like the attention and praise from- and the one who loves to give it.

Loses sleep or meals just to give to you. Just to be with you. Just to see your messages pop up and making her grin, her heart swell the way it never has with anyone else- and never will.

I hope you find the one it clicks after a while: that you love her- and crazier yet, you're in love with...

The one who felt both those ways almost instantly after the first few likes and replies.

But the one who thinks she's crazy. Denies it. Hides it for so long- afraid of the feelings starting to burn inside...burn inside like embers. She tries to extinguish them with watery wades but can't. She's in too deep. Too far gone to back up now...

Especially since she's the one who makes you laugh- who you make laugh. The one who everyone stares at like she's crazy when she reads a crossover fic you made that NEEDED to be made. The one who's been asked "who are you messaging? Who's making you grin like that?" and she knows then. She's in deep for someone special.

Far too special, she knows, for someone far too average like her.

I hope you find the one who quickly build inside jokes with you over the most random, stupid of things.

Veggie tales. MILFs. Amazing scripts. Custody battles of fandom children. Scooby-Doo (fuck you Velma). Wrestling. Batman. Willy needed to Wonka- on a toilet or at the store. Arthur. Gina. Daphne. Nate. Spider Man Dee Dee. Rain. Glasses. Sailboats. Chores. Brownies. Princess of the fucking Bride. Music.

Hebrew. Especially speaking it.

Farts. Especially disgusting ones.

Things that are so dumbass to everyone else.

Things that aren't so dumbass to you or her.

Things that are so ridiculously unridiculous, so imperfectly perfect. Topics that make you both fall a fit of giggles and futher into a love that no one else will ever understand or come close to.

Things that make futher her realize by some amazement she found the one- and that she's the one for you.

I hope you find the one who steals you hat. Hits you with a pretend umbrella as it pours for her and you. Her needing to be quiet but can't.

The one who flirts poorly with fart jokes and bee movie memes until you both collapse.

The one who would give you her virginity to in a skipped, pounding heartbeat if only she could.

I hope you find the one who you can hold hands with while strolling in stores, looking at groceries and glass art with.

While walking the dog. While sitting on the couch, taking turns in picking films on movie date nights each and every week. Hell, every day if possible.

I hope you find the one you're excited to show off to your family. The one your siblings congratulate you on being with. The one your mother is happy to have as a daughter in law, your siblings sister in law- even before the wedding.

I hope you find the one who utterly hates to cook- until she cooks with you, making it her new favorite thing.

The one you make sandwiches for when she's sad or sick and who will return in deed for you, along with pat pats.

I hope you find the one you'll find any excuse to be close to at the beginning, middle, and end of your day.

The one who pulls you back in when you try to go do dishes, chores- begging you to stay just a little while longer. Scared you'll leave her forever like everyone else in her life has.

The one desperately looking for any excuse to be close to you at the beginning, middle, and ending of her day. Her week.

Her months, her years.

Her lifetime.

I hope you find the one who makes you sing and dance at just the mention of. The one who you write songs for, each one being her new favorites.

Lyrics she wants all over her body. Permanently in ink- just to show off she's yours. Proud to have a man who is so incredibly soft and sensitive.

I hope you find the one you sit outside with, cuddled close together. The one you lay next to every day. The one who you can breathe with, relax with. Just be with.

Nothing fancy, nothing dramatic. Just existing with is paradise for you both.

I hope you find the one you listen to the rain with as it fall, happliy allowing it to drown you both forever. The one who will pull you into a sailboat- and, after "chaperoning" two horny desserts, sail away into the sunset with.

I hope you find the one who leans her shoulder for you to cry on, her heart to listen with, and her body to comfort you the second you call. The one who will completely cut off her shoulder, her heart, her body just to give to you whenever you need it- knowing you'll never abuse it.

I hope you find the one who you create a playlist for, full of your and her favorite love songs. Your ultimate playlist you've honored in naming after her.

Every song she hears and treasures- and wants to cry at thinking about. When listening to. That gets her through the bad days when she feels most alone.

Especially, especially Mirrorball.

I hope you find the one who you can spam, sending countless pictures and messages that make her blush, smile, and grin like no one is watching. Hell, even if they are, she doesn't care.

I hope you find the one who lives for the sound of your voice- though only hearing it once.

Lives for the warmth she can feel through your messages. Lives to the light in your eyes and wondering how the fuck she scored someone so fucking cute, sexy, and hot all rolled into one.

Lives to be yours.

I hope you find the one who would happily tattoo "Fruitcake" on her arms for you in a heartbeat. Ink "Toot Sweet" across her chest.

Make "<#" as her fucking Cutie Mark.

Leaving the entire world questioning and confused- but leaving her entire world smitten and deeply in love.

I hope you find the one who can give you all she is- and not just her broken pieces she's collected since her birth. Not the chipped away mask she knows she sits and cries behind, cracking futher and further each day as she drifts deeper into insanity.

The one who isn't lying. Doesn't lie. To you, to everyone- but especially to the face in the mirror.

The one who is free, not trapped behind her fears- real or imagined. Trapped behind who she knows she should be- but can't now because of you. Doesn't want to be because of you.

Not the one trapped even more now than she ever thought possible.

The one who isn't a toxic liar. The one not broken beyond all repair. The one not so unstable and about to fall. The one who doesn't ends up hurting everyone along the way, especially herself and the ones she loves most- which now horrifically includes you, someone she never meant to hurt. The one not stuck with no way out.

The one who isn't ugly and stupid and worthless...

The one who actually truly deserves to be the one for you in the first place. Who doesn't fool herself into think she stable, good enough to be is the one for you- she just is.

I hope you find the one you don't have to ask not to contact you because she broke you heart- and she shattered her own in the process. The one who craves you, who needs you like a fucking drug, going through worst withdrawns she can explain.

The one who has enough sense to realize what she has while she has it...and doesn't go fucking up and losing it forever.

I hope you find the one who makes you want to love again. Who you made want to love. Makes you trust and believe in something again. Who you made trust and believe again. Makes you believe love isn't the stuff of movies or fanfics....and makes her believe it isn't, either.

The one who makes you believe in love in all it's facets.

Especially being in love.

The one who believes you're straight out of her not-so-pure imagination.

I hope you find the one who you plant a kiss that wouldn't wake a baby on. The one who's same face that won't let you sleep. The one who makes the streets dance with your feet and the dawn that makes your shadow a bit taller.

I hope you find the one who changes everything, the one who completes you. Makes the streets an empty stage and a city's sirens violins.

The one not oceans and miles apart.

The one beautiful, kind, amazing enough to be with someone as incredible as you.

I hope you find the one who's forever indebted to a stupid little comic strip because it brought the one for her...

But mostly, I just hope you find the who makes the world your mirrorball.

</#

[clockwise-works]

Link, 7,9,10,20

Appreciate the ask! my crazy thoughts will be below the cut...

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

So I really love it when people take small, gameplay mechanics and elements from BotW/AoC/TotK and use it to flesh out Link's personality. What he likes, how he thinks. etc etc. It's... honestly easy to write him off as a gremlin brainlet who likes to cook. Or just a sad and damaged sad guy. I love it when he has a fascination with history, pulling from him documenting stuff he finds in the slate. I love it when pre-calamity he's a competent and strategic mind given his time in the army. I love it now after TotK that we can give Link an interest in mechanics and engineering. Let him have some brains! He's goofy? Of course he is! But there's so much beyond that, and pulling little stuff from gameplay mechanics just itches that one part of my brain!

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

So I did already answer a roommate question earlier with Mipha, so my general thoughts remain the same... for me. I think I wouldn't be too intrusive or annoying, but Link? Idk, given how you can just absolutely FILL the slate, I get the impression Link is someone who has a bad habit at not throwing stuff out. Everything holds value to him, it could be used for something, it looks cool... BROTHER THROW IT OUT ITS A BROKEN PENCIL! Also given the weapon durability I think he's break my appliances...

Dude would make meals that SLAP though, so you take the good with the bad.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

I mean, I really don't struggle with making friends in person, I find it really easy to talk to people, so yeah! Pull him into the real world where he wouldn't have his knight baggage, dude would be a fun and chill guy fr fr. Good jokes, good mindset and solid beliefs, I imagine he would be a good friend I could both goof and laugh with over stupid shit while also having a late night 3am life talk. Let me give him advice! Listen to me dumbass, I'm older, by like a year! I got SO much more experience than you, wisdom is OOZING from my mind!

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter.

Oh wow I wonder what the Miphlink enjoyer will say, certainly he'll surprise us!

No, but for real I do love them being best friends, but I think there's some other characters that fit the bill too. Pre-Calamity I'd say Bazz. I imagine the two grew up together (Zora aging is wonky, but I do go with the mindset that Zora's have a few good years where they age comparable to Hylians, using Ruto as a base) and had a back and forth friendship where they mess with one another, but there is a mutual respect and love. (Yes you can love your friends, I love my homies). I imagine that when Link wasn't with Mipha during his visits, he was having kid adventures with Bazz and the others, doing whatever they could. After the whole shrine thing though? I think Bazz grew up, and while Link did too, it was under different circumstances so the two aren't as close. Still good friends, great even, but best friend? Idk. In a non shrine world, though? Hell yeah!

[minishmarbles]

I drew this at 3 am on my phone bc I was struck with inspiration

( if you try to tell me Cywren and Timebomb arent just Jenna and Julian you're incorrect)

[simply-ellas-stuff]

I was tagged by @endlesstalesofwonder to choose between the tropes!! Thank you love!!!

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or secret dating // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut or fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or middle aged romance // time travel (+ time loop) or isolated together // neighbors or roommates // sci-fi au or magic au // body swap or genderbend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Thanks again!!! I tag @dylshoney @mrsbreczka @probsjosh @alessiaase @boobear729 and anyone else who’d like to share their choices!!!

[mrvlbimbo]

A Series of Nights pt 4

Night four (a night out)

Pt 3

“Ohmygod, we slept together,” she gasped out, scrambling up from her position and grabbing his shoulders excitedly. 

“I think I’d remember that,” he chuckled, not sure what she was getting at. His foul mood was nowhere to be seen that morning, which was a nice change of pace. 

“No dumbass, we slept. Like for the first time in a month I got a decent night's rest,” she explained, shaking his shoulders. Her eyes were lit up with excitement and he couldn’t help but laugh again. 

AKA

partners awkwardly share a bed because its the only way for them to make the nightmares go away, chaos ensues

The next few weeks were soured with killings by the narcos. Pablo Escobar had been slighted by the Colombian government and he clearly wasn’t taking it well. When the dust first settled Javier tried to look on the bright side, this assassination made the cartel a more legitimate threat and it gave them more validity in their war against the narcos. 

Things were going well with the three partners. Although Murphy didn’t let up on his teasing, they had seemingly managed to convince him nothing was going on with them…yet. 

Steve spent the most time with the two of them and it wasn’t hard for him to see that there was some lingering tension. He wasn’t a body language expert but the way their eyes trailed over each other's bodies when they thought no one was watching was downright feral.  

So he spent his free time teasing them. And maybe he was a bit too interested and when he came home after a long day of work to tell his wife all about how his coworkers were obviously in love it was a bit weird. She of course found it endearing at first. But over time the waiting game started to annoy Connie as well and the two reluctant lovebirds gained another fan. 

With the two of them scheming, it was only a matter of time before they came up with a plan to get the oblivious agents together. Steve invited his coworkers out for a drink and Connie tagged alone, essentially making it a double date. 

Javier opted to meet them there, wanting to bring his own car so he could leave when he felt inclined. The rest of them loaded into Steve’s car. The two women quickly caught up, having known each other well enough back when Steve and his partner were working in Miami. Connie of course would not stop asking about Javier which she found a bit suspicious but not too much. She hadn’t met the man and it was natural for her to be curious about her husband's other partner. 

“Sooooo, Steve tells me you’ve got some workplace romance going on with one Javier Peña.” Connie giggled, pushing the other woman for details about her budding affair with the playboy agent. 

“Your husband is a nosey little gossip, Connie. There's nothing going on between me and Peña.” She couldn't help the little smirk that pulled at the corners of her lips. The idea of having a “workplace romance’ with agent Peña wasn't a bad thing to think about. 

“Well maybe not yet,” Steve mutters, causing her to give him an unamused look, rolling her eyes and groaning at his persistence. Connie takes that as her signal to get up and grab them some drinks. 

“What's that supposed to mean?” she snapped, glaring across the table at her partner. 

He didn't respond, instead just giving her a knowing look and an infuriating little smirk. That was until Connie came back with a whole platter of shots. They took turns knocking them back until the plate was just about empty and then they got back to the conversation at hand. 

“It's obvious you two have the hots for each other,” he scoffed, words slurring a little bit under the influence of the tequila he had downed. 

“And how do you figure that?” there was less venom in her words now, a genuine interest peeking through. If she was being too obvious about her ‘barely-there’ crush she wanted to know. But she also wanted to know if there was any chance the feeling was mutual. 

“Oh Javi, I just can’t sleep without you,” he speaks in a downright dreadful impression of her, his southern accent poorly impersonating a breathy feminine tone she rarely if ever spoke in. “That's how you sound,” he asserted. 

“I do not.” She couldn't help but giggle at his little display, blushing at the idea of her coming onto Javi so brazenly. Maybe it would work, she had just enough drinks in her to consider it. 

“Oh and don't even get me started on him.” She sat forward in her seat at that. Connie smiled at her obvious interest when Steve mentioned the other man and how he might feel about her. “The way he looks at you should be considered public indecency. Plus I dont think I’ve ever seen him smile like he does when you’re giving him grief.” 

“Speak of the devil,” Connie added as the man in question strided through the door. 

He walked in like he owned the place, looking around passively until he noticed the people he was looking for. 

He looked calm but the breath was sucked out of his lungs when he sat down next to his partner and noticed her far too short red dress. It was fitted with a deep v and a slit in the side so it just barely covered everything that needed to be covered. 

He grabbed a shot glass off the table and threw it back before he even spoke. He meant to stay sober that night and for the most part he did but he needed that first shot to take a bit of the edge off. “You clean up nice,” his partner commented, trailing her hand over his arm absentmindedly as she took a shot of her own. 

He could already tell her and Steve had had a bit too much to drink before he got there. He cursed himself for the extra few minutes he spent in front of the mirror deciding on what button up shirt and jeans combo he would wear that night. Connie spoke up, being the only one not a bit intoxicated. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Agent Peña. Your partners have told me a lot about you,” she commented, giving the other woman a knowing look. 

“All bad I assume,” he joked, placing a hand on his partner’s shoulder as if he was asking for confirmation. 

“I can’t believe you think so little of me, Javi,” she scolded, slurring her words a bit as she swayed in her seat. 

His body heated up at the nickname. Plenty of people called him that but it was different hearing it from her lips. She rarely called him by his first name anyways, opting for his last name instead. 

“Let's dance!” Steve offered, tugging his wife out of the booth after him. Clearly he wanted to get his hands on her in a way that was appropriate for a public setting and that was the best way to do so. 

Javier looked over at the woman sitting next to him and grinned. “You gonna dance with me, partner?” he teased, lacing his fingers with her and standing. 

She stood shakily and followed him to the dancefloor, stumbling over her feet and leaning against him heavily. She swayed against him to the music, taking in the distinctive smell of his cologne and his firm hands on her waist. The bumping music of the bar was the only sound between them, both knowing any conversation would make the whole thing awkward. 

Their close proximity and the friction of dancing was bound to cause a situation for Javier. He excused himself before he could get himself in trouble for grinding his very obvious erection on her ass. 

When he returned she was at the bar with another glass of something dark. She sipped it down quickly and placed it next to another empty glass that hadn’t been taken yet. Before he could take the seat beside her another man seemed to have the same idea. 

He glared at them from across the bar, hot anger coursing through his body. He wasn't the jealous type, he had no room to be. None of the women he was with ever had any implication of exclusivity. He didn’t mind it that way, he knew he was the best so he didn’t need to be the only one. 

It wasn’t jealousy he was feeling, it was rage. She was well past drunk and this creep was looming over her, staring her down with a predatory gaze. Javi was gritting his teeth when the man leaned closer to her and put his hand on her leg.

She shrunk away from him, not able to get up from her seat in her drunken haze. She looked scared and confused, he saw red.

He wanted to rush over there and punch the guy in the jaw, but he needed to handle this with tact. Instead he calmly walked over and took her face in his hand, “How's my girl?” he murmured in her ear, so close his lips were brushing her cheek in a closed mouth kiss. 

“Javi!” she giggled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and trying to pull him closer to her. By now the man who was bothering her was long gone, giving the two of them a glare from across the bar. 

 “Come on. Let’s get you home,” he grumbled, dragging her out of the bar. 

He draped an arm around her shoulder to keep her steady as he led her to the car. She giggled as she stumbled over herself, leaning most of her weight onto his chest. 

She haphazardly fell into the car once the door was open, trying to pull him in after her. He stood firmly, pulling out of her grasp so he could get into the driver's seat. 

The tense air of the ride home was broken by the weight of a small hand trailing over Javier’s thigh. His breath hitched as he coaxed her hand off his leg and back into her own lap, intertwining their fingers to keep her still. 

“Hands to yourself,” he scolded. She was clearly very drunk and he didn’t want her trying anything she would be embarrassed about in the morning. 

Unfortunately, there was no way he could keep her from opening her mouth, which was made evident after he had herded her into her apartment. She fell onto the couch with a huff. “Take my clothes off,” she whined, missing the way his eyes widened at her comment due to her being utterly shitfaced.

“Let's get you to bed,” he replied, ignoring her request. He grabbed her waist and manhandled her over his shoulder so he could carry her into the bedroom. 

He set her down on the bed in a less than gentle manner. She grumbled at that and tugged at the straps of her dress. “No outside clothes on my bed,” she slurred, waving her arms in the air as a sign for him to help her out of the dress. He groaned and stepped closer so he was at the edge of the bed. Closing his eyes, he reached out and pulled the dress over her head. 

When he didn’t hear her moving to change into any sleeping clothes, he opened his eyes but looked over her shoulder instead of at her. “Put some clothes on,” he commanded. 

“No. Feels better like this,” she replied, crawling under the covers and nuzzling into the soft sheets. 

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, not having planned to spend his night babysitting his drunk coworker. Lost in his own thoughts, he barely noticed when she reached for his hand. 

“What's a pretty thing like you doing here?” she slurred, both of her eyes snapped shut and then opened in a lazy attempt to wink. 

He wasn’t sure if she meant in the apartment, in this city, or in the country of Columbia. Or maybe she didn’t mean anything at all, that was the most likely thing. He had been called many things by many women but pretty was not often one of them. 

He pulled his hand out of her weak grasp and stripped his clothes off so he could get into bed. As soon as he was under the covers she pressed herself into his side, stroking a hand over his chest. He took a sharp inhale and wrapped his arm around her in return. 

“So pretty,” she mused, bringing her hand up to cradle his face and bring his eyes to her. “You gonna show me a good time?” she ran her finger over his lips, a clear look of lust in her eyes. “I’ve been trying to fuck you for weeks now,” she whispered, leaning closer so their lips were almost touching. 

“You’re drunk,” he stated, not wanting to hear anymore of her intoxicating words because he knew they weren't true. 

“Am not,” she slurred, accepting his rejection and snuggling into his side. He was acutely aware that she was completely naked save for a pair of lace underwear, which made it feel more scandalous if anything. 

He tried to steady out his breathing as she quickly fell asleep next to him and he wondered if this was some sort of divine punishment for his womanizing ways. 

The next morning was eventful to say the least. While Javier expected to wake up in the position he went to bed in, that isn’t what happened. He woke to a cold and empty bed. It was what he was used to with her but somehow it still surprised him. 

He put his jeans on and stepped into the kitchen. He was greeted by the sight of her in that damn robe. It was always just a bit too short and a bit too tight, but with her straining to grab a bowl from a high shelf it was covering pretty much nothing. 

The gentlemanly thing to do would be to help her, and so in a sleep ridden haze that’s what he did. He absentmindedly placed a hand on her exposed hip as he reached over her to grab the bowl. 

She took a shaky breath in at the contact of his hand and his chest pressing to her back. “Thank you,” she murmured.  

“Sure thing,” he replied simply, staying there for a moment even after the bowl was safely on the counter. His voice was a bit loud and she clearly winced at the words. 

“You ok?” he questioned. 

“Hungover,” she groaned, leaning back into his touch. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to the feeling of her pressed against him. 

“Yeah. You were very drunk last night.” He laughed a bit, remembering her drunken antics. 

She spun around frantically, her face only an inch from his chest. He stepped back a bit but put his hands on the counter beside her so she was still caged between him and the cabinets. Her eyes widened with realization when she saw the smirk on his face. “Oh my god! Did we?” 

“Oh believe me, you’d remember,” he replied, the sly grin on his face growing wider. 

“Javi!” She exclaimed, her face burning with embarrassment. It was rare he saw her shaken like this, he would be lying if he said it wasn’t kinda cute to see her go shy from something as simple as the idea of having sex with him. 

“Plus I’d never take advantage of you like that. Even if you were practically throwing yourself at me,” he assured her, the teasing  tone not leaving his voice for more than a second. 

“I was NOT,” she yelped, trying her best to defend herself from embarrassment even though she was clearly failing. 

“No? I seem to remember you saying that you want to fuck me. Is that true?,” he questioned, leaning close to her and whispering in her ear. His voice was raspy from the morning as well as lust. 

“I'm busy, Javi. Stop distracting me,” she whined, turning around and grabbing the bowl along with the rest of the supplies for pancakes. 

“Oh believe me. I can distract you all day baby,” he whispered, hands ghosting up and down her hips and waist. 

“Nope. Nuh uh. Not gonna happen. Don’t even bother.” Her words said one thing but the way she pushed her hips back into his grip said another. 

He huffed and stepped away from the counter, ego slightly bruised at how quick she had shut him down. He sat patiently as she fixed breakfast, content to watch the way she hurried around the kitchen. The domesticity of it all was strangely turning him on, but pretty much everything she did turned him on.

[lunaroceanic]

The Dumbest Scientific Report I’ve Ever Written

My good tumblr mutual and friend @ourlittlebitofnothinguniverse sent me this post, which then spurred this conversation:

And so I did exactly that.

How Long Would It Take to Post the Entirety of Supernatural (2005) to Tumblr if You Posted One Screenshot of Every Frame Every Day?

(An analysis by Tumblr user lunaroceanic)

Hypothesis

If one were to post one frame of Supernatural (2005) every day to a Tumblr account, starting on the day I decided to make this dumbass write-up (September 27, 2022), the entire show would be posted far enough in the future that the English language could feasibly not be commonly spoken anymore, therefore making it likely that the nuances of the English language’s word “love” may have been lost to time. Assuming this hypothetical Tumblr account would be the last remaining proof of the show’s existence, this could potentially lead to discourse over whether Cas’ confession was romantic or platonic that would persist far, far into the future.

Methods

Assumption: Supernatural is filmed at 30 fps

^Googled “typical fps for live action tv show”

Total Supernatural runtime: 14,726 mins

^calculated using IMDB episode length estimates

14,726 mins * 60 sec/min = 883,560 seconds

883,560 seconds * 30 frames/second = 26,506,800 frames

26,506,800 frames * 1 day/frame = 26,506,800 days

Accounting for leap years: November 22, 74595 (72,573.15 years)

^used this calculator

=> What if we use the Tumblr post limit of 250 posts per day?

26,506,800 frames * 1 day/250 posts * 1post/frame = 106,027.2 days

Accounting for leap years: January 12, 2313 (290.3 years)

^used this calculator

Summary of Results

If someone were to post one frame of Supernatural (2005) every day, starting on September 27, 2022, it would take them over seventy-two thousand years to post the entire show. The final frame would be posted on November 22 in the year 74595, presumably from the queue function rather than by the user themself because they would presumably be dead by then. Based on human history, I believe this is a large enough span of time for the English language to fall out of common use, and therefore make my hypothesis (that 15x18 confession discourse could persist past the English language’s lifespan) plausible. 

While exploring the titular question of this report, I decided to determine whether the same goal could be achieved if the hypothetical Tumblr user in question were to achieve Tumblr’s post limit (250 posts) every day, with each post containing one single frame of the show. Under this condition, the task of posting all of Supernatural would only take just over 290 years, and would end on January 12, 2313. While this is certainly long enough of a time span for the user to die and have to rely on the queue function to achieve their goal, I do not believe this would be enough time for the English language to be largely forgotten. It would, however, still be a comical amount of time for Supernatural discourse to be happening, so I think this condition adheres to the spirit of my hypothesis, if not its letter.

Bonus Discussion

As I said in the Methods section, I had to calculate the estimated run time of the show by going on IMDB, sorting by increasing runtime, and counting the number of episodes that had certain runtimes. From that data I created this plot:

from which we can glean some information. Notably, the most common runtime for Supernatural episodes by far is 42 minutes, with a whopping 133 out of 327 episodes (40.7%). The least common runtimes out of runtimes that appear are 48, 49, 47, and 40 minutes in order from least to most common. An interesting fact I discovered is the fact that though the average length of a Supernatural episode is, in fact, 45 minutes, IMBD does not actually list a single episode with an estimated runtime of 45 minutes (or 46, for that matter). I was also genuinely surprised that some episodes ran for a full hour of total runtime. Also, while the myth that the show’s finale (Carry On 🤢) is in the 30s range was proven false, it is in fact on the short side at the most common runtime of 42 minutes.

Further analysis with this data could include breaking down average runtimes by seasons, contributors, presence of certain characters, or by episode “type” (season premiers/finales, MOTW vs. plotline, etc). There is also room for error, as the IMDB runtimes are just estimates, and the assumption of 30 fps was very cursorily researched. 

[slymanner]

I wanted to make a new years post personally thanking everyone I've met this year so,,,

I'ma try to get everyone and try to do it in semi-order??? but we'll see how that goes and if i forget anyone and or if i repeat myself lmao

also sorry if maybe each person's part gets shorter and shorter over time i love all of u

@borkthemork- first person to make me do a fucking back flip when they followed me djdb

a honestly really fun person to talk to

chaotic in nature at times with their andrias obsession

but a really cool person to listen and talk too especially when they go off on a certain topic and they are VERY talented at writing and just idk how they do it it's pretty cool and I'm happy my marcanne obsession somehow made them see my dumbass and they eventually wrote a story on one of my posts (which was a amazing thing to experience I'll tell you)

@karamelys- I feel like this was one of the first few people i followed when i joined the amphibia community and honestly never expected being actual friends with them at all considering how talented they are dkdnd

alot of my homies are talented but méli was the first couple talented ones to somehow follow me and become mutuals and friends after that and honestly I'm happy about that their cool

they are so talented in their art it's kinda insane how they do it all their art is squish,,

especially their marcanne art that shit is a backflip and a half with how squish they make it..

very fun to talk to also they are from france so they are immediately cool so dkdnk

just a very cool person I'm happy to become moots with somehow and I'm always happy to talk to them

@pyroclastic727- apparently they feared me lmao

like idk how but they feared my dumbass cause of my name but-

besides that ethan is..

they are special in their own positive way tjfn

i love what they do again TALANTED MF IDK HOW ALOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE TALANTED and what kinda chaotic behavior they have

what they do is amazing

but then they wanna do my mom and-

besides wanting to kiss my mom they are

a blast to talk too cause they are just BATSHIT sometimes in the positive way so yeah they are a good part of my life lmao

and they made a interesting jesus fanfic so i love them even more for that

OH WAIT THEIR WRITING ALSO AND THEIR CONCEPTS FOR RANDOM STUFF

THEY GIVE SO MANY GOOD CONCEPTS ITS INSANE

And they haven't done art much I think but their art?

*forehead kiss* beatufil

@thatonedorkthatdraws- LITERALLY ANOTHER PERSON THAT I SOMEHOW BECAME FRIENDS WITH

I don't even know WHEN they followed me and we became mutuals it just sorta happened rifnf

But I'd say however it happened I'm happy it did cause jesus christ on a snowboard i love talking to her

she really feels like a online sister to me lmao

we help and talk to each other alot it's honestly really nice literally their first text to me was threatening me to paint my nails black so that was a sign of what the dynamic would be fjfnfk

but yeah their great I'm so happy I've met them just like EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS POST

AND THEIR ART

MMMMM GOOD SHEIT 😌✌️

(also really good music taste like damn bro)

@mira-blue- a fellow homie ✨womie✨

just like almost everyone else here funny talanted

but mira has their own vibe I can't explain

like idk it's like sort of a calm reassuring vibe?

like someone your around and go "yeah I can chill will them and joke around alot"

idk what the vibe is but they are just someone you can fuck around and joke around with til the sun goes down

also cause they'll braid my hair and add flowers so that adds to my love of them fjfnfj

but just a homie i truly appreciate and happy to have gotten closer with recently cause they are legit a really fun person to talk to they are as important to me as everyone else here,,

I feel like me meeting them irl would go well like everyone else in this post honestly love u womie

and update I'm a smol homie in mira's pocket and i still feel warmth and happiness with that random idea HAHA

@ayyyyysexual- Jesus Christ this person

THIS

FUCKING

PERSON

I FUCKING LOVE THEM

they are a chaotic gremlin little shit that makes so many sexual jokes for someone who's ASEXUAL

BUT MAN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM FUN TO TALK TOO

they have a vibe that's just SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

like you could make a simple joke or text something simple and somehow

SOMEHOW

THEY FIND SOMETHING IN THERE AND GO

"AYO BRO WHAT????"

LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN /POS

they are great and when they don't wanna do my mom and become my dad they are wonderful to talk too they are equally talanted to all homies here

love you void you little shit :D

@cute-as-buttons- okay so another online sister to add to the line lmao

I feel like I've known them for like...

a month?

I think it's been a month somehow but in that span of time we already bond well somehow tjfbf

like they gotta deal with my dumbass talking about deez nuts every five seconds but they somehow enjoy my company gkfnfk

and honestly I enjoy their company also they have a cool charm to them

they surprisingly know alot about history and I love hearing what history shit they are gonna talk about next

also very good writer hello???

a cool little sister who's talanted at writing love them <3

@generalyunan- three words.

Funny as SHIT

there have been moments we're i legit go in my brain

"Wow, how is tai this fucking funny."

they just somehow have the best timing and jokes being thrown into the chat and it's fucking GREAT DUDE

even if they gaslight me with sonic toe's fuck you for that /j

besides their comedy they really are just

fun to talk too always even if I'm being bullied by them

we've had our conversation's and they always are fun no matter how I'm feeling really cause tai creates such a good dynamic

just,,

a really fun person to talk too like fr

and they honestly...

look they deserve happiness okay everyone here deserves happiness but when I'm updating this they deserve it from what I'm learning from them each day like everyone else here haha

(also they have so much gender hello???)

@bloop-arts- I don't remember how i met them honestly it's been a BIT but

man they are talanted at their craft,,,

like art wise they have such a fucking adorable style it's just so soft and squish??

AND I WANT THEIR ART TO HAVE MORE LOVE THEN IT ALREADY DOES HAHA

but besides art they are fun to talk too

played minecraft with them like once and they are a joy to play with and they have a gender voice /gen

and whenever bork and them talk about this AU together it's fun to see always

they have alot of good ideas and that's just wonderful man

@sporadicsprinkles - THE BLUEPRINT BOI!!! :DDDDDDDD

they work so hard and they made a fucking shelf and kart it's so cool

BUT BESIDES THAT I LOVE SWITCH'S COMPANY AND THEIR ART

they drew me it's poggers but they just are

SO GOOD

they snorted g-fuel once it was funni /j

they have done alot and I'm very proud of what they have done while they left they make some cool shit now,,, <3

OH WAIT THEIR VOICE IS ALSO CUTE IN THE MOST PLATONIC WAY ITS VERY GENDER

@casswithmywholeheart - THIS BASTARD MADE ME LOVE SASHARCY AND IM LETTING ALL OF YOU FUCKING KNOW IT

idk when i exactly followed them but i imeddiaeitly followed them for their

THEIR ART ITS SUCH A SKETCHY COOL STYLE???

like this is something I'd see in like a OFFICAL comic of sort's it's so cool and all their sasharcy and just amphibia art in general makes me cry in the club /pos

i remember I had a phase we're I left long as hell tag's for their art complimenting every damn art piece on a post because the art was that amazing

are they amazing yes.

do they deserve da love fuck yes mhm.

anddddd okay so here's the last mega big one

@maritasdump -

YOU!!!

YEAH YOU MARI

YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING YOU WANNA KNOW SOMETHING FUCKING IMPORTANT YOU WANNA KNOW???

you gave me the chance to even meet these fucking people in the first place

if you didn't give me the invite I'd probably never fully know these people and become TRUE friends with them til that invite sent to me

and for that I'm forever grateful for that and I love you FOREVER for making me know these people on a personal level

cause if you never gave me the invite idk how I'd be now

especially since meeting these people AND YOU BTW made me block someone who wasn't the best for me mentally after realizing you and the rest of these guys we're actually TRUE friends true people who care about me and i care about them back

it's a wonderful feeling

and i could thank you a thousand times but

thank you

BUT BESIDES ALL THAT SAPPY SHIT YOUR TALANTED AS HELL WITH THE PIANO HAHAH

and also fucking funny and fun to talk to you especially when you send amphibia images every fucking 5 seconds lmao

It's wonderful and I'm thankfully for u mari your a cool homie

AND NOW MILLIONS OF PEOPLE TO TAG CAUSE THERES ALOT OF HOMIES I WOULD DO A LONG THING ABOUT BUT DUDE THIS IS TOO LONG ALREADY

@thesapphiccrytid @thesugarcookieday @the-chaotic-lesbian @wyrm-in-a-closet @clumsy-artsy @nexus-the-kiezadrius @mothicalspoken @mossnmice @ultra-unknown @pix-pres-wuz-here @luna--dragon @lumityenthusiast @frenchtoaasty @raiinyrxse @rivermaj @itzs-comet @iersei @sunnydrinksbepsi @classifidpotat @some-boring-artist @goodartitude @waybrights @fink-wu @bunnybythesea @detentiontrack @insulationsun @mayo-is-an-instrument @duskstars @dodelidoo @popcornbee @duquesah @wormautopsy @aviangender @jsheios @wondrousleon @winterstorm032802

AND IF I FORGET ANYONE IM SORRY BUT

I DID IT

Hahahaha

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

I DID ITTTTTT

OKAY OKAY im gonna calm down

whoof alright cough

thank u all for the amazing 2021 you guys existing made it a actually amazing year

Even if we don't talk as much or not this year without you maybe it could've been different if we never met

but we DID AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT AMAZING

2021 was one of my favorite years of mine personally just BECAUSE I got into the amphibia fandom and if i never did?

idk where I'd be

so from the bottom of my heart thank you all

for such a wonderful year and I'm already far in 2022 as we speak but

I hope the rest of your 2022's goes well and is filled with cool as hell shit WHATEVER YOU GUYS DO

and I'll be happily here to watch you guys thrive

take care and thank you

and happy new year

to all of you <3

[anarchosimdicalist]

some dumb jocks for @rainymoodlet/@kissmeinkomorebi's bc

lou larson (contestant)

bisexual bigender butch (she/he)

adult (43)

maker, gloomy, goofball

renaissance sim aspiration

5'9

divorcedest bitch in komorebi

good with kids, has such dad energy you forget he doesn't have any

he's funny but sometimes you have to stop him mid joke to go "hey are you ok?????"

not as committed a jock as katsuo, but definitely makes an effort to keep fit, if only to make herself leave the house.

very handy - aside from woodwork, she fixes cars for fun.

hino katsuo (outsider)

none gender with left gay (he/they)

adult (38)

active, adventurous, childish

extreme sports enthusiast

5'11

dumbass slutty jock with negative impulse control and a heart of gold

a little bit of an adrenaline junkie, always looking for a new way to put himself in mild danger.

he has a tendency to make big plans for holidays or ambitious projects - and then follows through on maybe a third of them.

was a little bit of a musician back in the day - never made it big, but the important thing is he knows his way around sound equipment.

backstory under the cut - it got WAY too long but we move.

There's a story Lou likes to tell, after she's had a few drinks and she's feeling talkative. He takes one last sip to lubricate, clears his throat dramatically, and everyone leans in to listen.

"Okay, so it's Moonlight Falls. Almost 20 years ago, now? They've got this Lumberee thing going on. I used to go when I was a kid, see, and even now I'm a big grown-up boy going out on my own, I still come back every year to eat my dad's food and, fuckin', I don't know, check out the music. They have this little wood-carving competition but I only ever watch for ideas, 'cause I'm a cocky little 20something shit still and I think I'm way too cool for it.

"Except this one year there's a lady." Pause for wolf-whistles, or "aww"s, depending on the crowd. "I've been flirting with her hard, and it's going pretty smooth. I mean, she's so into me it's kind of embarrassing for her. She says she loves the woodcarving competition but I say these guys are all hacks, I've made better easily. And she doesn't believe me, but I've backed myself into a corner now and the only way out is through, so I say I'll enter so I can get her dinner with the winnings.

"It's actually way cooler than I thought. There's this old, old guy who does it every year, some teenager whose friends talked him into it, all sorts. But my favourite is this dude from out of town who entered on a whim, like me. We chat while we work and we really hit it off. Few years down the line, I switch on the TV, guess who that guy turned into? Fucking Daniel Taylor." Sometimes someone will ask "who?" and Lou will launch into a tangent. "Who? Daniel Taylor. Your Dad's Garage Daniel Taylor? Come on, man, you've seen Your Dad's Garage. Well, you should. Look it up. He's great, and he's just as nice in person. He was a really interesting guy, had some good stories - not bad to look at either. We could've been friends, probably, but I look up from the chair I'm making and I see the girl watching me, and our eyes meet across the tent, and I remember - oh, yeah, I'm not here to make friends."

And this is where his story has to diverge a little. The grand finale used to be easy - he would reach for her wife's hand, or fix her with an adoring look, or, if she wasn't around, affect a boyish, half-ironic bragging tone, and he'd say, "So I kicked Daniel Taylor's ass. My chair blows his and everyone else's out of the water, I win us a good fancy dinner and then some, and I've been with her ever since."

As it turns out, it loses its gravitas once the girl leaves you. If she changes the ending, says "and I was with that girl for almost 20 years before she told me I was "messy" and "incapable of taking her seriously" and kicked me out of her house, taking all of our mutual friends with her", the love story feels hollow. If she skips over it, it feels dishonest, and it all starts falling apart at the first follow-up question. This story is meant to end happily ever after. It isn't meant to end with Lou living on his gym buddy's futon, crying periodically and watching old Your Dad's Garage episodes because they remind him of her.

But life isn't a story, and Katsuo is getting worried. When Lou first moved in, she was somewhere between an aquaintance and a friend. They worked out together if they were both around, and Katsuo let her shower at their nearby house when he mentioned feeling off in the gendered public ones at the gym, but they rarely hung out otherwise. Still, though - when she nervously asked if Katsuo wanted a roommate after her divorce, he jumped at the chance. Sure, he needed help with the rent, but living alone had been rough - maybe they'd get a friend out of it too.

It's been months now, and get a friend they did. The two of them are inseparable, their daily routines intertwined - they work out together, cook together, Lou even got Katsuo into her favourite show (and that woodworker is one fine DILF). But the more Katsuo gets to know Lou, the more he starts to worry. He can hardly expect her to be over a relationship so long-term in a few months, but he's grown fond of her now, to the point where seeing her in this state is painful.

Katsuo's solution only makes Lou wonder if his new best friend is an evil genius or a complete idiot. Her interest in Daniel's show was minimal - he hates nostalgic cashgrabs just a little more than he loves Daniel's work - but when they suggested he go on, he couldn't deny being intrigued. When they added that they had always wanted to go up Mt Komorebi, and that maybe a little sound guy work could help cover some of those travel expenses, she laughed so hard she almost forgot about her divorce for a minute. The application process was a drunken evening filling out forms and laughing. Neither one of them had planned on it actually working.