#its a much nicer and bigger house

[stupidlovepurplepeace]

My family just moved out of the house we've been living in for the last 17 years of my life (I'm 18 we moved there when I was 15ish months old)

[sanzuscumwhore]

Ft. Baji keisuke

Warning: cousin incest, manipulation, guilt tripping, clit sucking, marking, no protection, PiV sex, baji being a bitch, bimbo reader, (one sided?), praising.

You flashed your auntie an adorable smile when she complimented you about your pink dress. "Tha-thank you Mrs.baji" "aii look at you, you've grown up so much!" Grown up? You looked like a big girl now, you giggled at the thought. Big girl.. yay!

"I hope it wasn't a trouble coming." Mrs.baji said with a hesitant expression "not at all!" Your mom chimed in "we wouldn't miss your house warming party for the world!" You mom continued. Mrs baji chuckled, "oh! Y/n dear, won't you go see kei?" Your smile dropped at the thought of him. You nodded your head no, "I'm sure he's busy- I wouldn't want to trouble him" your voice slowly growing faint. "Don't be silly! You two love playing with each other- remember the times where you'd be in his room all day playing, and wouldn't even want to go home" yea, right- 'playing'. You let out a nervous chuckle but thankfully both the older women were pulled by other guests. You sighed out of relief. 'Need water' you went to their kitchen to get a cup of water cause all of a sudden your throat went dry.

You took out a cup from the cupboard and filled it. "What do we have here~" your blood went cold at his voice, you turned around but got startled at how close he was. "He-hey i-itoko-san" you gulped, he flashed you his infamous grin which showed his sharp fangs. "Well hello there baby cousin~" His breath fanning over your ears. He was always so, so much taller than you. And his muscular frame, his huge hands, his long hair dropping over his broad shoulders, his bruised knuckles it made you so wet. He licked his lips "why didn't you come over to me hmm? Do you not like me anymore?" He said with a hurt expression. But in his mind he knew it was all a facade. You gasped, "no! Kei you know I'd never be like that... its just that-" "it's what huh?" He said a little louder, which scared you. You remember his reputation when he was a teen, buring cars, stripping people and beating them up. "No-no I just thought-" "hmp your not my favourite cousin anymore!" He mentally cringed at himself when he said that, you'd always be his favourite, forever no matter what. "Wha-what?" He smirked. Gotcha. Now he just had to play a little mean, but he knows his mean demeanor gets you so wet. "I'm going to c/n, she's more nicer than you" your breath hitched. You never liked c/n, she was always so mean and said nasty things to you. He rolled his eyes and walked away, you grabbed his muscular forearm "don-don't say that! I'm sorry" you mumbled your apology though he heard it. His grin reached both his ears. "Ok then.. prove it" He leaned in towards you at the perfect point to see you cleavage. The pink dress was so skimpy, didn't you realise it? He'd been starting at you all night. Hoping you'd come over to your 'kei' and greet him cutely like always. "How?" You asked looking up at him with your glossy eyes. Fuck he could feel his cock hardening in his pants, you were always go eager to please him, he found it so damn cute. "Let's play" you gulped. "Do-do we have to?" Huh? What was wrong with you today? You were always os eager to play with him, to let him use you. "So you don't like me huh!" Your eyes widen "NO! i-ill play" you blushed when he smiled.

Baji took you to his room, it was so much bigger than his previous one. He took your hands which made you a blushing mess, you were so ashamed of yourself on how you blushed and got wet with your older cousin. "Ok since you look so cute today ill let you choose, doctor or fire fighter " you bit your lower lips, you looked cute? He was always so good with his words. "Doc- Doctor" you saw Baji smile "Alright then, let's play~"

"Is everything ok doc?" You said nervously "hmmm" Baji continue inspecting you pussy. It was so hard- for him to not make out with your cute clit, to just shove his fat cock in and make you cum all over his cock, like he used to. Back then too you were so eager to make him happy, oh how you let him use you to his disposal. You remember eveytime you came over he'd take you to his room and use you, after wards he'd cuddle you and that's why you never left his room. You liked how he held you. You even let his friends use you! Mikey made you cum so hard with his cock in your asshole, and chifuyu made you feel so good when you sat on his face. All because Baji told you to do so.

"Ok so ms.l/n does it hurt over here?" Smug bastard asked you with his fingers rubbing tight circles on your clit. "Ngh~ ye-yesss~ doc" you bit your lower lips to contain your moans from spilling out. "As I thought, don't worry I have a cure" Baji grinned looking at your blissful expression. "Pleaseee doc~ make me feel better.. it hurts" Baji nodded. "Don't worry I'll make you feel so, so much better"

"Ahh~ ooh~ doooc~ feels good~" Baji continously sucked your swollen clit, with his nose resting on your mound. He let go of your clit with a pop "you ready pretty~" he asked. You blushed when he called you pretty. You nodded, Baji stood between your legs as he undressed himself. His tanned abs, his muscular pecs, his strong biceps, his even more muscular thighs, he was so dreamy, you loved your cousin soo much. "Alrighty then! Your turn" His voice encouraged. Your panties were already under his pillow, so you took off your pink dress revealing your cutesy pink bra which had a bow in the middle. He roughly grabbed your bra tearing it off. You gasped "be-be a little gentle kei-" he just rolled his eyes at you. He grabbed your ankles, pulling you towards him. "Y/n~ your so cute, your like my cute little pet~" he pinched your perked nipples. "Ngg~ you think I'm cute?" You asked with your voice shivering "the cutest~ not only cute but really pretty tooy/n-chan" you turned red with his words covering your face with your hands. "Now, now why you gettin' so shy on me, you love playing with me remember" you nodded when he took your hands off your face pinning it above your head with his one hand. "So why so cold to me? You don't hate me do yaa?" He paused before he put on a feverish face "wait? Did you tell auntie about what we play?!" He asked looking a little concerned. "No... you told me not to say anyone" he breathed in relief. "G-good, don't tell anyone okay? Otherwise we won't get to play anymore and we won't get to see each other, you don't want that... do you?" Your eyes widen, not being able to see kei? You'd probably die. You shook your head frantically. He smiled "See, your so nice to me, your such good girl" you bit your lower lips when he said that. "Now.. let's play ok~"

"Fuck you feel so fucking tight princess~ so good fo'me" he grunted. You couldn't focus anymore, his thumb playing with your clit. His fat cock piercing you with no mercy. He let your hands wrap around his neck and his other hand wrapped tightly around your waist. He bit your neck and sucked dark red hickies. He pulled one of nipples with his teeth "such pretty nipples baby". Your make up that your mom did for you was running down your face. Your mascara running down your face, your lip gloss smeared every where even on bajis lips. "Ahh~ kei~ i- I love yoooou~" you moaned with your head thrown back, clinging on him. Baji grinned before letting out a grunt "i-i know baby- fuck- your gonna cum aren't ya? Can feel you clenching- ooh Fuck~" he pulled your hair and kissed your roughly, shoving his tongue down your throat. He looked down at where the two of you were connected and he almost came right then and there seeing the white ring forming around his cock. Your clung onto him more arching your back. "Hmmpf- feels so good kei~" you boosted his ego. He smirked holding you tightly, his pelvis snapping on yours. His thrusts started getting sloppy and before you knew it, you were shaking as you came all over his cock. He thrusted few more times and pulled out as he released his seeds on you tummy. He rolled off towards your side as you were panting "fuck, that was amazing" you nodded. He got up from his bed and gave you one of his shirts that was so dam big on you. Without showering or washing up, he came back to bed and pulled your small frame towards him. You hugged his large torso while he hugged you tight in his arms. "Hey tomorrow ken and mitsuya are coming over, you remember them right, well let them play with you ok." You happily nodded your head, anything to make your favourite cousin happy. He smiled "good girl, your still my small baby ok" it was clearly a statement and not a question. "Am not a big girl?" You asked looking up at him with your doe eyes. He let out a deep chuckled "nah, your my small little baby cousin" he kissed the top of your head. You hid your face in his bare chest in embarrassment. "But don't tell your mom ok, or you won't be favourite cousin anymore" you agreed, after all he is your favourite cousin, kei.

--------------------------------------------

[solar-wing]

⚣ Five & One 💪🏻

⚣💪🏻 A/N → This is a re-post and, once again, it was inspired by this post by @gone-batty-fics. I'm leaving the full NSFW version up here since it's not that much, so no need for an extra link. I hope you guys enjoy reading this around a second time and sorry if any of you have been missing it. This was my most popular post on my previous account and I'm sad I gotta start it over, but oh well. WARNINGS: Breathplay/Choking, Implied Size Kink, Jealous and Possessive Behavior, Rough Anal, Violence, etc.

⚣💪🏻 Summary → Five times people thought you needed rescuing from your boyfriend, Jason Todd. And the one time, someone needed rescuing from you.

⚣💪🏻 Words → 7.8k

REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛

Also, vote in my Omegaverse/Yandere poll here!

⚣ ENJOY 💪🏻

Okay, you got it.

Your boyfriend was a very intimidating and scary guy when he wanted to be. But, that didn’t mean people had to keep asking you if you needed saving like you were some damsel in distress. You weren’t even a damsel! You were a damsmen. Damsman? A Damson?

Oh, forget it. Point still stands, people needed to stop treating you like you needed rescuing. You were fine! Besides, when he wasn’t out hunting criminals, Jason was literally the least threatening person in the world. It was you bitches should be worried about! And if bitches didn’t believe you, bitches could just find out on their own.

Bitch.

The first time wasn’t bad. You considered it actually sweet and could see how under the circumstances someone was not aware of the dynamic between you and the vigilante.

It was a sunny day in Gotham for once. Everyone was out, enjoying the sunshine while having barbecues in the parks, strolling down the street in sunhats and sandals, and going swimming at the local pools. You were no different, seeing the usual moody and depressing atmosphere absent from the sky and deciding immediately to take advantage of it and drag your boyfriend Jason out, making the whole day a date between you two.

You and Jason decided on simple outfits since the sun was out and the temperatures were warmer than usual. You decided on a regular button-up, leaving the top three buttons down to show some skin, which your boyfriend both loved and hated since he could ogle your chest with no shame, but anyone else could do the same. You paired it with some boat shoes and simple shorts that did an excellent job hugging your ‘boo-twah,’ a nickname Jason gave your ass for its large-hand-friendly size, as he liked to say.

“Instead of like boo-tee, it’s boo-TWAH. It’s just out there.” He explained one morning when you had spent the night at his place. Jason, sitting and ogling at his boyfriend in his well-fitted yoga pants and sleeveless hoodie while you made breakfast.

“You are such a nerd.” You laughed at him.

“Well, this nerd scored big,” He responded before landing a heavy smack on your behind, which you chastised him for since he made you almost fling the eggs you were scrambling out of the pan.

Back to the sunny day, Jason dressed simply too but was more relaxed than you. He went for a comfortable pair of joggers, one of his nicer gym shoes, and a tank top covered by a sleeveless hoodie since he got hot easily.

A few months after you and Jason got together, he told you about his double life and his family’s. It explained why when he would spend the night at your house a few times, you’d play doctor while wondering where he was getting all these bruises and wounds. As you and Jason grew closer and began to explore your ‘interest’ in each other’s bodies, you’d find he was actually shy about his body even though the man was built like a tank.

It wasn’t necessarily his body he was ashamed of. It was his scars he actually didn’t like. All things he saw as painful reminders of his more than rough past, especially the bigger ones he had received from Joker. You were patient with him and reminded him at every possible chance that his scars were nothing to be ashamed of. Instead, they were to be celebrated and seen as trophies. Reminders that in the face of everything thrown at him, he came out on top stronger than ever.

Over time, Jason became more confident and comfortable in his body. He bought more shirts, tank tops, and shorts that showed his arms, chest, and legs. Even going as far as cutting the sleeves off some of his hoodies since you owned many pairs, and he loved how they looked on you. He’d prefer to wear yours, but since you were much smaller than him, he’d end up stretching or ripping them. Now, you were no dainty stick or anything like that. You had some meat on your bones and were taller than the average guy. But again, Jason is built like a tank and very much dwarfed you in size.

You weren’t complaining. 

He also loved the benefit of the sleeveless hoodies as they made him look more intimidating, which helped whenever he noticed other guys and girls at the gym ogling you a little too long for his liking. He didn’t care who it was, Jason would always look out for and protect you.

Yet, others seemed to see it differently as you walked down the street in Gotham, going in and out of the various stores. You were both sipping on some slushies while chatting about whatever, Jason holding your shopping bags in one hand. You tried to snatch the bags from him multiple times since you didn’t want to feel like Jason was your butler or servant. Besides, you worked out too. Look at your arms! You could carry Jason if you wanted to.

Okay, yes, you knew that was a lie but you were allowed to dream. You’d get there…someday.

“Jason, give me my bag. I can carry it myself!” You said, trying to reach for the bag again.

“Sorry, Bugs, you know the rules. You’re not allowed to carry anything in my presence. Well, except my love for you. That’s heavy enough as it is.” Jason said with a cheeky smile.

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend’s corny behavior and another one of his nicknames for you. You’d made the mistake of bringing Jason around your best friend during a study session for one of your classes. He revealed your childhood obsession with Looney Tunes and how many times when you reacted to a situation, you were a carbon copy of Bugs Bunny with his sarcasm and behavior.

“Get away from me dude,” You said, putting distance between yourself and the brick wall of a man.

“Ah, get back here.”

Jason grabbed you by your waist and pulled you to his side, nuzzling his face into your neck while tickling your sides.

“Jason, stop!” You shouted in laughter, trying to push him away.

“Never! You are now my hostage.” He joked back with you.

You stood there for a few more seconds wrestling with each other on the sidewalk. Someone should really scold you two for acting so cutesy and loving out and public like that. WE GET IT! You’re in love! Stop rubbing it in our faces.

When you broke apart, you found yourselves outside a bookstore. You saw Jason’s eyes light up even if his face didn’t show it. He turned towards you, giving you his best puppy-dog eyes and pout.

“Oh, get in there you dork. But, don’t max out your dad’s credit card!” You said, successfully pushing him off you.

He leaned down to plant a kiss on your lips before shooting into the store like the Flash. “No promises!” He yelled over his shoulder.

While he was in the store living out his childhood fantasy, you decided to let your ankles rest since you had been on them for a few hours. Jason offered to carry you at one point, and though it was tempting, you declined.

You sat on a nearby bench while scrolling on your phone for a bit. Your head shot up when you spotted someone approaching you from the street. It was two girls, both who looked to be in their late 20s to early 30s, carrying concerned looks on their faces.

“Hi!” You spoke with a smile, waving to the women walking up to you.

“Hey, are you okay?” One of them asked when they got to you.

Now, you had a confused expression on yours.

“I’m sorry?” You responded with a puzzled eyebrow raised.

“We were across the street when we saw that guy grabbing you. We can walk with you to the police station if he’s harassing you.” The other woman said.

‘Were these chicks on crack?’ You thought.

“Um, I think there’s been some confusion–” You started but was interrupted by the door swinging open, an excited Jason springing out of the store.

“BABE! THEY’VE GOT A MINT-CONDITIONED PRIDE & PREJUDICE! Can I get it?! Please!!!” Jason shouted while running up to you and grabbing you by your arms.

You could barely keep off the amused smile on your face while looking around your boyfriend’s shoulder to see the two girls looking shocked and embarrassed by your giant for a boyfriend, begging you for a book like a kid.

Jason turned around as well, seeing the two women staring at you two while he just pulled you closer to his body, wrapping his arms around you.

“Who are your friends, Bugs?”

“Just some nice girls being friendly,” You answered before using your hand to turn Jason’s head back toward you. “Don’t you already have three copies at home, Jason? Why do you need another?”

“Okay, but those are all old copies and are falling apart. This one is BRAND NEW! Never been opened. Please!!!”

You could only sigh at his antics before turning back to the girls, “I’m fine, ladies. But, thank you for asking.”

They both nodded with embarrassment before walking off down the street, Jason watching them with a confused expression before looking down at you.

“What was that about?”

“Don’t worry about it.

This one also wasn’t so bad, but it was still annoying.

Your parents were out of town for a month for their anniversary, so you invited Jason over. When he got there and saw how your cupboards and fridge were damn near empty, he was upset at you for not telling him you had no food and your parents for not supplying you with anything.

Truth be told, they literally just forgot to go before they left. Jason always wondered where you got your forgetfulness from. Now, he knew.

So, he dragged you to your local wholesale store once again with his adoptive father’s credit card to stock and load your cabinets so you wouldn’t go hungry. Well, really so, Jason wouldn’t go hungry since he would be spending a lot of time at your place now. Again, the man was like a mountain, so of course, he ate like one.

You had been in the store for about 15 minutes, and already your cart was damn near half-full.

“Jay, don’t you think this is enough? We don’t have to get a bunch of stuff today.” You voiced, eyeing the growing basket with concern.

“Bugs, you can’t stay in your house for a month and not have any food. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you go hungry?” He responded while grabbing four boxes of your favorite cereal brands off the shelf and placing them neatly in the basket.

If it’s one thing that shocked you to learn about Jason was that he was very clean and organized with anything. You expected that trait more out of his brothers like Tim or Damian. But in truth, Tim was more of an organized chaos type of guy, and Damian was very simplistic, so he didn’t really need to organize much, except for his drawings and paintings, which he sometimes left scattered all over his desk.

Dick was a mess that couldn’t be saved. God bless the soul that ended up with that man.

But Jason was the cleanest out of all of them. The man could barely go two days without scrubbing down or re-organizing something. Again, you weren’t complaining. Every time he came over, he’d clean your room without you even asking.

“Okay, but my parents did leave me money to order out. Plus, I don’t want Bruce thinking I’m using you for money, or anything like that, especially since you keep taking his credit card.” You pointed out to which your boyfriend scoffed in response.

“Please, as much as that man has put me through, maxing out his credit card is the last thing he’s worried about me doing. And don’t worry, he and the rest of the family love you. Honestly, if it wasn’t for you dating me and the fact that you have great parents, I wouldn’t be surprised if the old man didn’t try to adopt you, which, if I haven’t mentioned this already, I don’t recommend.” He finished while heading further down the breakfast food aisle and grabbing boxes of Pop-Tarts.

“Fourth time.” You stated. Jason does not hold back regarding his tense relationship with his adoptive parent.

That was something you’d also been watching him work on. 

When Jason met your parents and saw the relationship between your father and you, it opened up an emotional wound he wasn’t prepared for. And though he still had some resentment toward the Billionaire Playboy, aka the Dark Knight, for not sending Joker to the seventh ring of hell after his death, it didn’t mean he didn’t still care for and love the man. He just had mental blocks he needed to work through, and you’d be there to support him.

Jason was about to give you one of his dorky responses until he realized he forgot the credit card in your car.

“Shoot, I forgot the card in the car. Where’re your keys?” He asked.

You handed them to him, and he gave you a quick kiss and a slap on the ass with a warning to not put anything back before rushing towards the entrance/exit of the store. Rolling your eyes, you moved down the aisle scoffing at his warning. Of course, he knew you were going to try and put some of the items back. Just like you knew him better than himself sometimes, it was the same for him with you. He could predict your next move before it popped into your head which you found very cute but extremely annoying at times.

While you stood there for a few moments scrolling on your phone out of boredom, you heard a voice speak up behind you.

“Excuse me.”

You turned around to see two guys around your age standing behind you. You figured they were trying to get to something behind you, so you moved yourself and your cart out of the way.

“Oh, my bad. Here ya go.”

“No, no! Not that. We were just wondering if you needed help getting your car or getting away from that guy. We saw him drag you in here.”

You barely held back the eye roll that was itching in your skull. Yes, Jason did somewhat have to drag you into the store since you insisted that you didn’t need to go grocery shopping. But, what happened to common sense? If Jason truly was holding you hostage or had bad intentions for you, why in the world would he bring you to a grocery store out of all places?!

Seriously, what were they thinking? That he was going to stick a Fruit-Loops box over your head and torture you with your most hated juice flavor?

A small sigh escaped your mouth before you responded to the boys, “Okay, this is not what it looks like. That guy is my boyfriend, and we’re just grocery shopping. I promise I’m fine.” You assured the guys.

“Are you sure? He isn’t forcing you to say any of this, right? I know that guy’s intimidating, but we can call security or the police to help you.”

Before you could respond, you both heard the sounds of quick footsteps approaching from around the corner. You turned to see him holding a plate with two large slices of pepperoni pizza and a large orange soda.

“Babe, I got you two slices of pizza and your favorite soda from the food court. I know you haven’t eaten today, so I figured you could snack on this, and then we can get you some chicken tenders and fries from your favorite restaurant after we leave here.” He offered while handing you the plate, looking at you with the most adoring gaze.

This boy really did have your whole heart. You could only wonder what you did to deserve someone like him.

When Jason took note of the two other guys standing by you looking dumbfounded, his arm instantly found its way around your waist, pulling you into his side while eyeing the two boys suspiciously and on guard. Anyone that wasn’t your parents, best friend, or his family, Jason saw as a potential threat. Even his family sometimes was included in that list a few times, and living in Gotham, you could never be too careful.

And any excuse for Jason to show you as his to anyone else watching was always an appreciated opportunity.

“Can I help you, fellas?” Jason said, a stern tone in his voice while eyeing the two down with every menacing look he could muster in his eyes.

You’ve never seen two guys who looked like they wanted to shit their pants so bad and run in the opposite direction. They started stuttering out a response before you took pity on them.

“They’re fine, Jay. They were just trying to grab some cereal behind me. I was just moving out of their way.” You threw a look toward the boys, who looked at you confused before they caught on to what you were trying to say.

“Y-Yeah m-man. Just ... um gra-grabbing some Frosted flakes.” One of the dudes said, pointing his fingers toward the boxes right behind you.

Jason eyed that finger with malice before he felt your fingers turning his face toward you.

“Hey, stop it. I’m good. Now, are you going to let them get their cereal and let me eat my pizza before it gets cold?”

A small smile crossed his face while he backed you both up moving the cart as well. You ruffled his hair watching the two boys grab a box and run down the aisle with their tails between their legs. He let out his usual whine, using his other arm to fix his hair.

“Shut up, you big baby. You promised me chicken tenders and fries, so get a move on before I get a food attitude.”

Jason smirked at your words before the hand around your waist moved to your butt, palming and squeezing your cheeks under the ‘hoochie’ shorts you were wearing.

“I know something better that’ll fill you up and take care of that attitude for you.” He whispered in your ear before giving a nip.

At least you weren’t in front of the salads when this was happening.

This wasn’t bad. It was actually funny, and you got a friend out of it.

You and Jason were at the gym, getting a workout in. You decided you both liked going in the afternoon when it was less busy. It was leg and glutes day for you (per usual) while Jason was working chest and shoulders. 

Two of your favorite body parts on him, including his arms, but that’s not important.

Now, you both agreed when you went to the gym that you would do your workouts separately but your warm-ups and cardio together. So, at some point, Jason was on the Smith machine doing a shoulder bench press while you were on another bench doing Bulgarian split squats.

Of course, the gym was a place where people met each other all the time. And, in many of those meetings and interactions, people would find others attractive and want to date or hook up with them. You were no exception to these rules. You were approached many times by both girls and guys, but you always politely declined. Well, you tried at least before Jason walked over and made it clear who you were with.

It was no secret to anyone that Jason did not only get easily jealous at the thought of you giving your attention and time away to someone who was not him, but he was also the living definition of anger issues. Match that with his very selfish and possessive attitude towards you, and you had a man ready and WILLING to do just about anything to anyone who dared lay a finger on you in the wrong way.

So, whenever someone deemed themselves stupid brave enough to approach you and flirt a little or leave a teasing touch to one of your arms, you’d try to give them a warning but it was always too late. They’d quickly find a towering shadow looming over them and turned to see a less than pleased Jason staring down at them with his bulging arms crossed over his chest. These being one of the few moments Jason gladly showed off his scars because they communicated his message quickly and effectively.

Back. The. Fuck. Off.

That was usually enough to get them to do just that. Most of the time, at least.

There always ended up being at least one guy or girl who wouldn’t take no for an answer. This time, it was a guy who kept finding himself next to you during your sets. Jason was watching you from afar with hooded and irritated eyes as he also noticed your gym shadow moving around with you. 

The guy decided to play smart and keep his hands off you since he could tell your brute of a boyfriend was watching his every move. The only reason he didn’t do anything was because he knew if he did, the guy could claim Jason as the aggressor, and since this was your favorite gym because your college’s gym was always crowded, he didn’t want to risk you getting in trouble and banned.

So, when Jason went to the bathroom, the creep took advantage of the moment and offered to ‘spot’ you on your set of squats with the smith machine, which you were sure was just an excuse for him to get behind you so he could ogle your ass and ‘accidentally’ grind his dirty crotch into it.

Luckily, a girl working out nearby noticed your uncomfortable stance when the man came over to ‘help’ you while you were setting up and immediately stopped her workout to shoo him away.

“Dude, he’s clearly not interested. So either go and finish your workout or pack up and get out!”

He tried to get defensive and argue with her, but when she revealed her boyfriend was one of the owners and threatened to have him kicked out and banned, he finally backed off. He made sure to point out how you weren’t even all the hot anyway to mask his hurt pride while you threw an appreciative look toward her.

When he left and Jason returned from the bathroom, the girl unleashed her rage on him as well.

“And you too! I’ve seen you harassing and stalking him all over the gym. I’ll kick your ass out too and have you banned if you don’t leave him alone.” She scolded the dark-haired man.

Jason looked confused while you just laughed before grabbing his arm and pulling him to you, “Nah, don’t worry about him. This one’s good.” You said, reaching up to ruffle his hair, even though you had to stretch a little bit.

Jason pouted down at you in childish anger, “I told you don’t do that! Do you know how long it takes to get this in the right floppy position?” He whined while trying to fix his hair.

She looked back and forth between you two before realization dawned upon her.

“Boyfriend who’s a menace to everyone but is a total baby when around you?”

You gasped, “Girl, how’d you know?”

“Mine’s the exact same.”

“Oh, we’re gonna be great friends.” You declared.

Okay, this time, it was lowkey your fault, but still. People should be able to tell the difference between an actual cry for help and a joke.

Jason decided to take you to one of his favorite cafes in Gotham since you were in desperate need of a study break. You picked up some classes over the summer, so the schedule was much more tightly packed since they had to speed up a four-month course into two with the semester being divided into two sections.

Jason was sitting on one of the lounge chairs reading while you were sipping on some apple juice and reading a fanfic story on your phone. Whether or not it was smut was not important and nobody would be able to tell by the look on your face. At least until you read over one particular part that had you gasping out loud which managed to catch your boyfriend’s attention.

“What?”

“Nothing.” You quickly said, liking the fic quickly and closing the browser, knowing Jason was not going to drop it.

“Uh uh, Bugs. What were you looking at?” He asked, setting his book on the table and moving over to your side of the table.

“Nothing Jay! I promise it was nothing.”

“Oh really? So you wouldn’t mind if I looked at your phone then?”

You felt your cheeks heat up while Jason took notice of your tense stance, peering at you and your phone while slowly leaning toward you from his crouched stance.

“Let me see your phone.”

“No.”

“Give me your phone.”

“I said no.”

“Bugs,” Jason said, now mocking a stern look on his face, “Give. Me. Your. Phone.”

He held out his hand for emphasis, and you felt your fingers reflexively tighten around your smart device. You stared back at him with your own dour expression, “No. Means. No.”

You both stared into each other’s eyes for a moment before he suddenly grabbed at your phone, attempting to snatch it from your hand. It became a tug-of-war over the device while you both consciously tried not to be too much of a disturbance to the other patrons of the cafe.

This is where it accidentally was your fault.

“Help! Assault! Violence! Thief!”

You thought you were shouting it quietly, but there was a reason your family always told you to quiet down when you thought you were speaking at a normal volume. You got it from your mother really. Strong voices and all…

“Dude, fucking back off!”

You both heard the deep voice shout before you watched a guy tackle Jason to the ground, feeling hands coming to your side.

“Oh my god, are you okay?!” This random brunette said while checking you over to make sure you weren’t hurt.

You were FINE. However, you were worried as hell now. Not for Jason at all, cause… Well, ya know.

You were scared for the other guy that had tackled Jason. Your boyfriend did NOT do well with physical touch, considering how long it took him to get comfortable with just cuddling with you. Let alone sudden physical touch? And the man is used to fighting criminals at night and having to be on guard 24/7 if he feels something suddenly grab or touch him? Yeah, you were hoping this didn’t end in a trip to the precinct like last time.

Don’t ask.

“I’m fine. But, I do suggest you quickly get your friend off my boyfriend before he has to go to the hospital.” You assured the girl while warning her at the same time.

She looked at you confused, “Boyfriend? Wait, huh? We thought that guy was attacking you and trying to steal your phone. And don’t worry, my boyfriend’s a professional kickboxer. He can handle him.”

‘Yeah. Mine has anger issues and was trained by Batman and can re-load two guns in under twenty seconds with his arms tied behind his back.’

“AH!”

You both turned your heads to see Jason holding the other guy in a chokehold while looking up at you.

“Aww, man! He spilled my coffee over my book.” Jason whined, “Babe, can you get me another one, please?”

“Yes, Jason. Can you do me a favor and let him go before you break his neck?”

Jason rolled his eyes before releasing the guy, who went into a coughing fit on the ground as he caught his breath.

When he sat back at the table as the girl went to help her boyfriend off the floor after giving you both weird looks, he set your phone on the surface, eyeing you with a quizzical look.

“What?” You asked after he stared at you for a few more minutes.

“Really? Yandere?”

Your heart jumped in your chest, and you were ready to bolt for the door.

“So, all those times you swore you weren’t trying to make me jealous just to get a reaction outta me, were you actually just trying to get me to tie you up and lock you in my room?” He said with a dark look in his eyes and a cheeky smirk on his lips.

HOT BOY DOWN! I REPEAT, HOT BOY DOWN!

Now, this was just ridiculous. Of course, it made sense, but you were thoroughly pissed off when it happened.

You and Jason had returned to his apartment after having dinner with his family at Wayne Manor. Bruce decided he wanted to have at least one family dinner a month, and since you were considered an honorary Wayne and everyone loved you, of course, you were invited. Jason, on the other hand, was still hesitant.

Even though he was working on his relationship with Bruce and trying to move past his mental scars, his family still brought up some sensitive subjects for him. Typically, they made his insecurities flare up a lot more. You were Jason’s safe space. So, he wasn’t really keen on mixing the things that made him question himself and the person who made him feel the most loved and secure together.

You didn’t push, still wanting to go at his pace and let him bring you around more when he was ready. The day of the dinner, you figured he either had a change of heart or somebody had talked to Jason and convinced him to bring you along, and you had a great time. Jason was a bit quiet throughout the evening, but you could see a small part of him was happy at seeing how you integrated well into his family dynamic. He took great pleasure in how you humbled Dick a few times as well.

But, something was off, but you couldn’t tell what it was. You knew Jason was usually the quieter one out of the rest of his siblings. When you were around, he showed more of his goofiness and playful side. You barely saw that at all tonight. You knew he was watching you as you made conversation with Bruce, argued back and forth with Damian, repeatedly told Tim he needed to get more sleep, snapped photos with Steph, joked with Duke, and even learned a little sign language from Cass.

He watched as you offered to help Alfred with the dishes, who respectfully declined, but did make his appreciation known to you and the others, especially Tim.

“I offer to help you sometimes, Alfred!” Tim shouted while chasing after the butler offering his help.

Usually, Jason would laugh at any moment that came at the expense of Tim’s sanity.

None of that happened. 

So, when you got back to his place, you asked him what was wrong. He remained silent as he just looked at you, but you could see there was a storm behind his eyes. When you came up to rub his arm and hug him, his hands shot up to your neck, wrapping around it firmly but not tight to where you couldn’t breathe.

Your hands grabbed his wrists as he maneuvered you against the wall that connected the living room to the kitchen. He placed his lips roughly on yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth while never loosening his hold on your neck.

“Mine. Not theirs, mine.” He muttered against your lips before quickly taking his hands off your neck, ripping your clothes off while ridding himself of his.

In less than two minutes, Jason had you pressed back against the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist, and his long and girthy member tucked deep inside your ass, fucking you with hard and menacing thrusts. His large and rough hands were back around your neck, now squeezing around your neck as you moaned breathlessly against him.

Jason took immense pride in your sounds of satisfaction and whining, increasing his already brutal pace in your guts while slowly stealing more of your breath away. Jason’s hard breaths pounded against your face as he stared at your now sweaty and ragged body, limping weakly against him. You placed your arms on his shoulder but were careful to avoid his neck, knowing that along with some other areas on his body were off-limits unless specified otherwise.

This was the dynamic between you two always. Anyone could see how Jason was wrapped around your finger in public and even in private whenever you two were just lounging around and relaxing. In these moments, you were fully under Jason’s authority. You lay completely at his mercy while he dominated your body and controlled where, when, and how you got pleasured. 

The who rarely came into question as though your boyfriend had considered it a few times, you didn’t see a day likely where Jason’s jealousy and possessiveness would let him allow someone else to see you in this manner. No, you were for his eyes only.

And the why, well that was simple. Jason had needs, you had needs. And, no one was better suited to fulfill those needs than your boyfriend. Though with him, anything could spark those needs at any given time. Whether the dark-haired boy was just feeling horny and wanted some ass. You decided to wear a tempting outfit, and he decided he was going to right then and there he would have you, whether in the house, in the car, or in public, it didn’t matter. If he felt you were being a little too friendly with someone else, he’d be happy to remind you about who you belonged to. The why was simple; if Jason wanted you, he would have you. No ifs, and’s, or but’s about it.

“J-Jason... nngh p-please-” You begged, feeling yourself nearing the edge as your dick was crushed between Jason and your hot and sweaty abdomens.

“Say my name again,” He ordered, feeling how he flexed his dick inside you while still pounding your sore hole.

His name fell from your lips in a needy moan as you felt his fingers pressing against your windpipes. You could feel how the wall behind you became slick from your sweat as your body jutted up and down against it with Jason’s increasingly erratic thrusts.

He grunted in approval of your increasingly loud whines as you both approached your climaxes. Jason fully squeezed your neck at this point as he punched your insides with his cock. Your own member was feeling the pressures as well as it repeatedly smashed against Jason’s abs before you reached your end, screaming out in blissful agony.

Jason came to his finish with his own groan as you felt him bury himself with his cum deep inside you. You let out soft little whines feeling his appendage throb against your walls. Even though you knew he didn’t like hands around his neck, he didn’t object to you rubbing a hand down his nape. He gave you a warning glance at first, but when he felt your soft hands rubbing up and down his skin, he visibly relaxed, placing a kiss on your cheek.

The quiet and sweet moment though was abruptly ruined by the sound of Jason’s front door being kicked in and heavy boots rushing into his apartment.

“GOTHAM P.D.!” You heard the intruders shout.

Of all the fucking things…

Well, when the cops came around and found you and your naked boyfriend against the wall, and his hands around your neck, you had to admit it didn’t look good.

You had to quickly explain to the officers it wasn’t what it looked like and that everything was consensual. Against the orders of the cops, Jason did not move one inch off the wall, keeping your body covered with his. He’d sooner dip himself in another Lazarus Pit than let these arrogant blue caps have even the smallest peek at you.

So, with a little charm and finesse, you convinced the cops to walk out and let you and him get dressed. Jason couldn’t decide what he was more upset about. 

The fact that his door was off its hinges, or that one of his neighbors called the cops on him thinking Jason had been abusing you, or that your private moment was intruded upon and some pervy cops basically saw you naked.

Yeah, he was going to be extra brutal on patrol tonight.

After a call was made to Commonionser Gordon at Jason’s request, the cops dropped everything and left you two alone when Gordon made it clear this was a bogus call.  “Jason? Abusing Y/N? That boy is the biggest simp this city’s ever seen. Whoever called that in was obviously misinformed.”

Even if it was true, Jason didn’t appreciate being called a simp. He didn’t deny it, though.

You could barely hold back your laughs to which your boyfriend responded with a harsh smack to your very sore ass. It was a wonder how you were even standing on your legs as they still felt like jelly.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t see him in that manner.”

“No way, he’s way too sweet and innocent to be like that.”

“Dude, have you met your own boyfriend?”

These were all things said to Jason when he would complain to them about how he was tired of everyone thinking he was a threat to you and not seeing the truth. If anything, you were more of a threat to Jason and honestly, should be placed on a national security watch list for some of the things that have come out of your mouth.

The only one who really knew and understood what Jason was talking about was your best friend, who was the first one to warn Jason. The boy didn’t believe him either at first and ended up finding out the hard way.

Well, it looked like Jason’s brothers were also about to find out as they had come to your school’s campus looking for him. You were happy to see the Wayne siblings, as some time had passed since the last dinner. For some reason, seeing how easily you interacted with his brothers drove up Jason’s jealousy to a new level. As soon as they showed up, Jason placed you on his lap, and you could feel his prominent bulge throbbing under you. You knew immediately you were in for it when you both got home.

When you got up to go to the bathroom, Jason was going to follow you, intending to give you a little preview of what to expect in the stalls, but was stopped by Dick, who said they had something important they needed to talk to him about.

Before that could happen, a new presence appeared at your table, and your best friend visibly and audibly groaned at who it was.

“Hi there.” Jason heard a sickly sweet voice say, turning to see another boy he’d heard of.

“Xavion.” Jason heard your best friend mutter under his breath.

He knew that name. He’d heard you curse it and mutter it in irritation and anger plenty of times. He purposefully went out of his way to piss you off and pick with you on multiple occasions. He also thought that because his dads were rich and gave him everything he wanted, he was entitled to anything and everything, including other people’s significant others.

No one knew what started the rivalry between you two, but they knew it got cemented when he had sex with your first college boyfriend while you guys were dating and then went on to sleep with any guy you had the slightest attraction to.

So, Jason would be no different when he placed himself a little too close for the dark-haired boy’s liking, trying to maneuver himself away.

“I’ve seen you around on campus before. Are you a student here?”

“Xavion, don’t you have someone else to harass and stalk?” Your best friend commented with an irritated eye roll.

The boy in question only threw a dirty glance at your comrade before turning back to your boyfriend, taking considerable delight in looking him up and down, “Damn, aren’t you a big boy. You’re Y/N’s boyfriend, right? Gotten bored yet?”

Everyone tensed at that, watching how Xavion only got bolder in his flirting, “I’d understand if you did. Y/N’s just not that interesting, and honestly, a little ran through. I’d be happy to show you other options though,” He voiced with a suggestive tone.

Dick, Tim, and Damian watched with slightly nervous eyes as the promiscuous boy moved his hand that was caressing Jason’s arm and placed it around his neck, waiting for the ball to drop as the second Wayne kid's hands began to twitch on the table.

Before anyone could move to stop it, they saw Xavion get literally yanked off of Jason and onto the ground. Your boyfriend and his siblings along with your best friend who began to cheer your name watched as you dragged the slut onto the ground by the back of his shirt and proceeded to WHALE on him.

No one had noticed you coming back from the bathroom, too busy watching Xavion rub his hands all over your boyfriend. When you got closer and saw what was happening, you immediately saw red and picked up your pace, only to dash into a mad sprint when you saw his hand touch Jason’s neck.

Jason after breaking out of his stunned trance immediately ran over to pull you off the screaming boy who was crying for help. Dick and Tim ran over to pull Xavion out of your grasp, just barely managing to save him from what would have been a devastating kick from your boot to his face.

“Touch my boyfriend again and see what happens bitch!” You shouted out at the boy. Luckily, you were in a secluded part of campus, so no one had seen the fight. But, when Xavion had gotten off the ground looking thoroughly fucked up, he tried to run up on you, seeing Jason holding you back and thinking he had an open shot.

Little did he or Jason expect, you used your smaller stature to slip out of Jason’s hold and rushed the boy before kicking your leg up and landing that hit that was taken from you earlier. You took sick satisfaction hearing and feeling the crunch under your foot as it connected with his nose.

Dick, Tim, and Damian watched in complete shock seeing you beat the shit out of this boy. Now, they could really see why you and Jason were such a good match for each other.

When Jason got you back in his arms, he made sure to hold on a little tighter to you so you couldn’t slip away again. Dick and Tim had to help the sobbing boy cradling his broken nose, saying they would take him to the emergency room.

Jason pulled you both back towards the table, sitting you down on his lap as he held your hands down. He could not help how hard he was under you and didn’t care to hide it. Watching that display had him a different level of horny and he frankly couldn’t wait to take you home.

After a few moments passed and you settled down, everyone looked up to the sound of a throat clearing.

“Todd, I don’t know if I ever told you this before,” Damian started, looking at you both with his usual judgemental stare, “...Good job.” He said with a nod toward you.

You were both surprised, Jason especially, as neither of you had ever heard the youngest Robin give out a compliment.

“If you screw this up somehow, which I have little doubt that you’ll find a way, I will not hesitate to end you.”

There was the Damian you both knew.

“I second that motion,” Your best friend added to which you just laughed.

“Shut it, gremlin.” Jason retorted before squeezing you against his body.

“Don’t worry, Damian. I don’t think Jason will do anything to screw this up. Besides, if he does do something stupid, he’ll have me to worry about.” You said, a mischievous twinkle in your eye.

You heard Jason growl lowly against you before grinding you into his lap, letting you feel his hardness poking you through your shorts. You popped his arm to which he responded with a pinch on your ass, your best friend watching in disgusted amusement.

“You two make me sick.”

“Back at you, ugly.” You responded.

Damian turned his head, looking in the direction where Dick and Tim took Xavion to an ER room, “I despise harlots.”

“OH! Speaking of which, thank you, Damian, for reminding me.” You said before leaning over Jason to grab your bag and pull out your laptop.

“What are you doing?” Your boyfriend asked.

“Insurance. I knew the day would come when that hoe went too far. So just in case he decides to go to the university about this little spat, I’m emailing a detailed description of how everything went down, along with photos and evidence of his affairs with various teachers and staff. To them, it will look like Xavion attacked me out of retaliation because he thought I would snitch on him about his sexual misconduct. Now, tell me, babe, did you feel physically violated?” You asked while making various edits to your already drafted email.

“Huh?” Jason replied confused.

“Just say yes.” Your best friend told him with a smirk.

“Um, yes? I think…”

“Perfect! Putting that down for the record, so, if that slut decides to try to get me in trouble, I can show I had completely justifiable reasons to hand him his ass on a concrete platter.” You stated a little too cheerily to be considered not disturbing.

Your best friend was not surprised by this at all, while Damian and Jason looked at you like you had two heads.

“Isn’t the expression ‘silver platter?’” Damian pointed out.

“Yeah, but I dragged his ass up and down on concrete, so it’s a concrete platter today.”

You looked up to see the two Robins staring at you.

“What? Bitches fucked around, so bitches found out. Don’t blame me.” You said while continuing to type.

“I fucking love you,” Jason said while biting at your ear lobe, making you laugh.

Damian could only scoff as he watched you two.

“And people swear Todd’s the threat.”

☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[ultimateloserboy]

duck and red guy are not good people.

ive probably said this a million times already but friendly reminder that they’re incredibly grey. they ruin their own lives just as much as the house does it for them, not to mention how theyre responsible for most of the turmoil in yellows life. duck especially loves with his entire heart, but that doesnt stop him from being a piece of shit.

a lot of you watch the series with this idea that the main three are poor innocent babies trapped and helpless when actually, if there was anywhere else to go (which its implied there isnt) red and duck would never fuckin get there because theyre too selfish and stupid to make it.

becky and joe said themselves in a QnA that yellow made it up the stairs alone because red and duck are just too cynical and selfish to ever make it anywhere. the second yellow started heading down the stairs it was over for him, because red and duck will NEVER listen. they want answers but are too stubborn to ever receive them. The house could be unlocked completely and theyd keep themselves there

Not to mention how they treat each other. they either enable each others shitty behavior, or give up on trying to stop each other. red starts to get onto duck for his behavior towards yellow, but then he joins in to make fun of him multiple times. because he doesnt actually care that much, and that apathy can make him cruel

i think a lot of you forget that even as they are normally, even on the regular floor— not even being bigger boys— they DROWNED THEIR FUCKING CAT!!!!!!!!

and they did it together, is what gets me. theyre codependent. theyre all the other really has, the only other adult really to talk to. they completely disagree on everything, having the opposite worldview of each other which causes them to argue constantly— but theyre all the other has. the only one as shitty as themself. they get stuck with each other in the bigger rooms. growing grotesque together, ruining themselves TOGETHER. they get farther apart. they speak to each other less. they torture smaller things for entertainment rather than talking with each other— but theyre still stuck together. glued to each others hip until the world stops spinning, but always being too cowardly and stubborn to be kind to one another and let themselves be happy together.

even when they reach clarity, or they hit an arc that makes them better people— theyll just forget tomorrow, and go right back to being terrible.

theyre not helpless. sure theyre victims, but not perfect ones— and they themselves have victims of their own

and dont even get me started on the mischaracterization of red in this fandom. YES hes just as bad as duck!!! hes not a fucking baby hes a grown ass man!!! he says the same shit as duck all of the time and yall see it differently cuz his voice is nicer to hear or he says it quieter. and may i add— he can be socially awkward and still an asshole. he can be neurodivergent and still an asshole. it doesnt cancel out, you dont have to pick one or the other.

yall take everything interesting out of these characters so you can make them sexymen but to me the sexiest part is the nuance of the character. duck and red are assholes but that doesnt make them unlikable, the show itself proves that. theyre incredibly likeable but still do terrible shit, and yall forget BECAUSE of how likeable they are.

this isnt meant to be some post to make you think theyre bad people that you should hate because thats bullshit. theyre not good people but theyre not overall bad people either. their actions are terrible but at the end of the day they can and have been better, even if only temporarily. there is a part of them that could easily fit into a happy family— a part of them that can heal each other instead of hurt each other. but unfortunately thats the part thats always erased

(little edit i dont know if they explicitly drowned their cat BUT its implied they did kill it. sorry two-three years of piecing my own shit together i lose which parts ive determined myself. dont wanna sit here and just say my own theories as fact tho, so the drowning specifically was just my guess! sorry abt that chat i hope u still trust me with canon cries)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

if I remember right, a year or two ago you made a list of recommendations for the Edinburgh Fringe. Any recommendations for this year? Already got Steffan on the list, obviously

I did! Okay, okay, here's what I've got this year. Caveat: I personally have not been up there yet (I'm going in a few days), but these are things I saw in preview/have heard great things about.

Steffan Alun: Free Standup, but at What Cost

Venue 156: PBH's Free Fringe @ Banshee Labyrinth - Banquet Hall, 21.30-22.30

Back again! Eighth Fringe, this. The show is an hour, but that includes a 15 minute warm-up act, then Steff for 45 mins. He does this so that reviewers won't come and ruin the vibe.

Anyway this year he talks a bit about being Welsh and how he is therefore grumpy with Bristolian Tesco self-checkout machines

.

Jake Baker: Rule Breaker!

Venue 78: PBH's Free Fringe @ Canons' Gait - Lower, 16.30-17.30

I love Jake, he's lovely. He's a gentle soul and has an excellent delivery style; very warm and deceptively witty. Normally he goes with Just The Tonic and is given a searing hot basement in the sky that smells of mould for a room, but this year he's in Canons' Gait, which is much much nicer.

His blurb: A rule-breaker, a risk taker, a wave-maker and a convention-shaker – all phrases never before used to describe Jake Baker. But when a frustrating game of Alan Turing-themed Monopoly leaves him questioning the laws of the game, he finds himself turning that analytical impulse to bigger things.

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Stephanie Laing: Rudder

Venue 300: Underbelly, George Square - The Wee Coo, 14.50-15.50

This show is particularly Tumblr-friendly, actually; it's described as 'neurodiversity-led'. However, it's a show with a content warning, although all the ticket page is saying is "themes" (insert Stephen Fry meme here); so, <SPOILER> she talks about withdrawing consent while sleeping with a FIB, and him continuing anyway. She talks about it in a very gentle way, avoiding Big Words, and it's very heavy on aftercare </SPOILER>

Her blurb: A comedy dance show about balance. Stephanie has a history of falling over a lot, accidentally kneeing herself in the face, and falling in love with total kn*bheads. In this show she uses a mixture of stand-up and dance to talk about bodies, sex, dancing, liking yourself, consent and healing. Also, there are cartoon bears and burlesque.

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Erin McKinnie: The Faff Chronicles

Venue 108: Hoots @ The Apex - Hoot 4, 16.50-17.50

An Edinburgh local! Good solid standup for those who like such things. New-ish, but one to watch, she's very good. Don't be surprised to see her take off

Her blurb: What a faff! Erin McKinnie, a rising star on the Scottish comedy circuit, talks about faffing through early adulthood – from rogue adventures to living the "below-deck life" on cruise ships – she finds the funny in every bizarre encounter in this uplifting show that asks: Do we really need a life plan? Or... are we all just winging it? A brilliant, snort-worthy giggle-fest about exiting your 20s, facing life indecision and chasing answers for those big questions, all the while trying to convince your mother that this is a real job...

.

Alexander Bennett: Emotional Daredevil

Venue 24: Gilded Balloon Patter House - Coorie, 18.20-19.20

Dark feelings show with a really positive, optimistic message and a fun concept. It uses audience participation, but that's not compulsory, you're safe.

Blurb: I'm the emotional daredevil, and for my next feat, I need someone's help. A show about risk, for the unsatisfied and traumatised, from a Chortle Award nominee

.

Alex Franklin: Gurl Code

Venue 61: Underbelly, Cowgate - Delhi Belly, 20.25-21.25

Alex does a fun thing each year where she takes her publicity budget and rather than spending it on publicity, she hides it somewhere in Edinburgh and then reveals a clue to its location every day. This tells you something about her, I think

Her blurb: In 2024, trans girl Alex (me) started HRT. Now she (me) feels the most alive she's (me's) ever felt; and she wants to make you feel alive too, or die trying. A ludicrous, musical, chaotic, joyful show about the colours of the world becoming slowly brighter and giving people furniture via the tube. Also being trans.

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Character Building Experience

Venue 49: Bedlam Theatre - Bedlam Theatre, 20.00-21.00

It's a D&D show - the MC Sasha Ellen makes a bunch of 40-minute simple campaigns and a selection of pre-rolled characters to do them, and then gets three comedians each time to play them. You know the drill. Good quality fun, and different each time, since you'll never see the same campaign/comedian mix.

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2 Truths, 1 Lie

Multiple venues and times (search the EdFringe app or website to see them all), but I recommend catching the 3pm show on either the 25th or 26th August at Venue 108: Hoots @ The Apex - Hoot 1 for reasons I shall not share here (ooh, mysterious)

Fun panel-like show! Often MC'd by Steff, especially if you catch one of the 3pm shows. The format is:

Three comedians each declare a statement. Two are true, but one comedian is lying. The MC doesn't know the liar, nor does the audience. The audience gets to ask questions of the comedians; at the end, they vote on who they think the liar is.

(The prize for winning is a smug sense of satisfaction.)

.

Anyway, once I'm up there I will possibly have more, but currently, that's my list

[cocodotgreen]

Recently, I stayed in a real life tiny house! This inspired me to find out how tiny I could go in The Sims 3 without using custom content. So here is a Modern Tiny House for a single sim! Its size is only 3 x 10 squares. In order to make the proportions of the house look more realistic I had to lower the ceiling height on both floors: on the first floor by two steps, and on the second floor by six steps, making it more of a sleeping loft (functional! Only sleeps one sim, though). This limits the selection of doors and windows that can be used without clipping too much into the floor above. A huge picture window on one of the short sides was a must have feature! The tiny house I stayed in had one, and it made the house feel sooo much bigger and nicer!

Details:

Lot size:10 x 15

CC-free

Furnished Price: §14.217

Unfurnished Price: §11.052

Packs used: Showtime, Late Night, University Life, Seasons, Generations, Ambitions, Into The Future (only for the windows on the back side of the house. The house should look fine from the front without them, though.)

Download (SimFileShare)

[radical-revolution]

“The great weakness of the West is that it has nothing with which to inspire loyalty except wealth. But what is wealth? Another washing machine, a bigger car, a nicer house to live in? Not much to feed the spirit in all that.”

John Burdett

“The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.”

Elise M. Boulding

“Advertising tries to stimulate our sensuous desires, converting luxuries into necessities, but it only intensifies man's inner misery. The business world is bent on creating hungers which its wares never satisfy, and thus it adds to the frustrations and broken minds of our times.”

Fulton J. Sheen

“We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of.”

Edward L. Bernays

“A love of nature keeps no factories busy.”

Aldous Huxley

art: "Saint Francis Preaching to the Appliances" by Winston Smith

[breadnauppercrust]

some designs i came up with for the girls in miraculous. the idea was 'what if they could have multiple outfits like sailor moon, as told by ginger, or totally spies?' and 'what if their clothes reflected their story arc?' however, i kind of gave up on them because i no longer have time to work on it as much as i would like to, so below this are copy+paste from my wip instagram account. lowkey its fanfiction-y lol

Alya:

Alya redesigns! tbh don’t know if they’re cohesive but 🤷‍♀️

S1: dresses for comfort & is geeky - think DrWho/Marvel/Tumblr. Obsessed w superheroes & has dedicated blog for each one, & that includes LB. Beginning of her & Maris friendship, starts to dates nino halfway s1.

S2: Mari influences her way of dress, still geeky but experimenting w clothes. Ladyblog becomes popular, interested in finding out her secret ID. Is also investigating akumas, HM, The Who/what/where/whys. Lowkey figures out who ladybug is but doesn’t say anything. Has been given fox miraculous at least a couple times.

S3: notices changes in Maris behavior & confronts her. Becomes fox miraculous holder full time, helps LB figure out who HM is & shares all the info she’s found. CN lowkey pushed to the side, causing friction, bc wrapped up w finding out who HM is ig. Constantly wears a Fanny pack now for trixx. Goes w comfortable but stylish clothes (ig lol idk) also at this point is BFF w Mari

Chloe:

S1: wears preppy designer brands to impress mom, despite living in diff countries. Basic mean girl, her only friends being Sabrina and Adrien - whose a childhood friend & lowkey helped him attend school. Both know how it feels to “lose” a parent & Adrien has seen a softer side of her. Probably has a crush on him ig. Maris bully, jealous of her talents at sewing & making friends easily, & prob her knit tight family.

S2: still preppy but w 60/70s inspo. Given bee miraculous a couple times, has resisted akumas - info she uses to help others later. Helping ppl & being somewhat nice makes her feel good & likes the appreciation from others+LB. Maybe Mom moves back to Paris w half sister, Zoe - might be significantly younger than Chloe idk. Didn’t like her at first but warms up to her as season goes on. Sees lil sister copying her & their mom, has an epiphany ig. Connects dots on akumas & feelings & tries to be better.

Should Zoe exist tho??? idk

S3: preppy but more casual. She’s nicer but still sarcastic, has made a few new friends, treating Sabrina better. Still trying to get moms approval tho & follows her around, even to fashion things w the Agreste. Notices Gabriel is acting strange, more distant towards Adrien, doesn’t notice what he’s doing or where he’s going. pt queen bee ig, probably given towards the very end of the season tbh by Adrien/CN after being ignored by LB bc of RR involvement w finding out HM id. AND noticing Chloe change significantly in the past several months (?) does Adrien reveal to her IDK he is still loyal to LB but eH

Mari:

1st Mari is shy, her outfits are safe & she kind of disappears in a crowd. She just became 🐞 & isn’t 💯 with her role yet. She’s designed and made her own clothes but doesn’t wear them outside of the house bc Chloe, oof

2nd she’s now comfortable being 🐞 & that boosts her confidence as Mari, she’s wearing more bold colors & outfits that she may or may not have designed herself 👀

3rd 🐞 is now the guardian of the miraculous box, has bigger responsibilities & problems to deal with. Being 🐞 has creeped into her daily life. Doesn’t have time to design/make clothes so wears w/e, but tries to appear happy.

Kagami:

i like the idea of kagami being prim and proper looking all preppy at the beginning, but after making friends she starts to rebel by modifying her school clothes w accessories but eventually wears w/e she wants w a punkish vibe. lowkey worried about falling into a trope so idk

[all-the-things-2020]

Joel’s Pony Party

Summary: You are planning a birthday party for your six year old niece. Turns out the guy who runs the pony party place offers you more than just a pony ride.

Rating: R (some sexual content toward the end); 18+ only, please!

Word Count: 6200+

Notes: I saw a horse trailer one day with a sign reading “Joel’s Pony Party” and my mind went on from there. This is an AU where there is no outbreak and Sarah and Ellie are the same age.

Maybe this was a huge mistake, you think as you steer your car down the increasingly potholed road. Obviously, a place with horses would be outside of town, but this didn’t look like the most savory area. Still, the pictures on the website had made it look nice, so you owed it to Ashley to check it out.

It had made so much sense at the time to volunteer to plan your niece’s sixth birthday party. Your sister was still knee deep in diapers with her youngest, Ashley’s little brother Jacob. Your brother-in-law was a sweetheart but useless at this sort of thing. His idea of entertaining was buying a 24 pack of beer instead of a 6 pack and buying the name brand chips for the queso dip. No, Ashley deserved a special birthday and you were going to give it to her.

You checked the directions you’d printed out from the internet. You should be close. The road curved slightly and you saw the neatly painted sign. “Joel’s Pony Party — Birthdays and Special Occasions.” The property looked much nicer than some of the places you’d driven past. The fencing was new and the driveway was freshly graded. So far, so good.

You drove through the gate and marveled at the paddock full of ponies and a couple of horses. Some of them lifted their heads from the grass to watch you drive past. They all looked healthy and well groomed. One of the bigger ponies, a flashy black and white pinto, tossed its head and galloped along the fence line, racing your car. 

You parked in the graveled lot clearly marked “Guest Parking” and turned off the engine. A teenaged girl with an abundance of curly hair waved at you from the door of a tidy red barn. “Dad will be with you in a minute,” she called out. “You can pet the ponies if you want.”

The little pinto was trying to reach over the fence to you, so you obliged, scratching its nose and forehead. The pony smelled wonderful, like fresh hay and sunshine and that undeniable smell of horse that brought back your childhood. Trips to the pony ride at the park had been the highlight of your existence when you were five years old.

”She doesn’t have anything for you, Oreo.” The voice was slow and easy, not too deep. “Sorry, he’s a beggar. I’m Joel Miller.” The man held out his hand and you shook it. His grip was firm but gentle and his hand engulfed yours. You tried not to stare as you took in his broad shoulders and the neatly trimmed scruff on his face. A delightful combination of cowboy and businessman. 

You introduced yourself. “I have to admit, I was a little concerned after driving past some of those places down the road, but you have a beautiful property.”

Joel nodded his head. “Thank you, ma’am. Sarah and I try to keep it up to snuff.” He tilted his head toward the girl. “If she ever outgrows her horse phase, I’m in deep trouble. Can’t keep this place goin’ without her.” He looked wistful for a moment, then snapped back to business mode. “So, you’re lookin’ for a place for your niece’s birthday. Let me give you a tour.”

He led you through the barn, which was cleaner than some houses you’d been to, and showed you the party area, a covered patio with brightly painted wooden picnic tables. Beyond it was a miniature race track. “The pony path,” Joel said. “Rather than one of those mechanical hot walker contraptions, we put the kids on a pony in there and let them walk around. Me or Sarah will stand in the middle and keep the ponies moving if they get too lazy, but otherwise the kids get to be in charge.” He chuckled. “Well, as in charge as anyone can be with a pony. Got some characters.”

Joel gestured toward a large shade tree. “Here’s where we hang the piñata.” Then toward a long table under a colorful awning. “And that’s where you can put the gifts and the cake. Keeps them out of the way of the kids.” He shuffled his boots in the dust. “We have two packages: Pony Princess and Cowpoke Experience. Most boys go for cowpoke but girls are pretty evenly split. Or we can do a hybrid if you’ve got boys and girls coming.”

He pulled a brochure out of his back pocket and spread it out on one of the picnic tables. As he leaned over, his shirt strained at his shoulders and it was all you could do to keep your focus on the brochure. And his thick finger as he pointed out the options.

”Pony Princess comes with a unicorn and the piñata is a dragon. We also have a trunk of dress up clothes. Fairy wings and princess dresses and magic wands, stuff like that. The birthday girl gets to wear a crown, ‘cause she’s the princess.”

”Cowpoke Experience comes with roping lessons and the piñata is a cowboy boot. No guns, but we have cowboy hats and bandanas and leather vests for dress up. And the birthday kid wears the sheriff’s badge.”

You glanced at the prices at the bottom of the pages and nodded. Yes, this would do. And even if it was a bit more than you’d planned, you’d gladly pay it to spend more time with Joel. 

“Definitely Pony Princess for Ashley,” you said. “She’s in her Disney Princess stage right now and all her friends are into fairies and magic and everything.”

”All right, let’s get the calendar and see if we can get this scheduled for you. Sarah!”

Sarah popped out of nowhere. “Yeah, Dad?”

”Run and get the booking calendar, would you? Need to set up a party for this nice lady’s niece.”

”She seems like a good kid,” you said, desperate to make small talk so you wouldn’t gawk at the man in front of you.

”She is,” he said with a smile. “A lot like her mama was.”

”Her mother …” you didn’t know how to ask without seeming nosey.

”Passed on when Sarah was little,” Joel said softly. “It’s been  just the two of us. Well, and my brother, when he’s around. And now the horses.” He sighed. “I used to be a contractor but I messed up my back pretty good and my cousin Louis was moving to Alabama so he offered me the place. Already had a good business doing pony rides, and it was Sarah’s idea to start doing birthday parties and events. She’s gonna be a party planner or something like that when she grows up. Organized and on top of everything.” He shook his head, a soft smile on his lips. He was clearly very proud of his daughter.

Sarah dashed up with a battered leather planner in her hands. As she laid it down on the table, she pulled a pencil out of her pocket. “See,” Joel said. ���Always prepared.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “It’s just common sense, Dad.” She flipped the pages to the current date. “Hope we can fit you in close to your niece’s actual birthday.”

You perused the calendar. There were two sets of handwriting, one neat and precise but masculine, the other just as neat but more exuberant. You spotted the Saturday before Ashley’s birthday. “How about this day? I see you have something at 9:00 am but maybe we can do the afternoon?”

”Perfect,” said Joel. “How’s 2 o’clock? Gives us time to clean up after the morning event and then you don’t have to provide lunch, just cake and ice cream.” He smiled and you smiled back. Cake and ice cream were included in the price of the package, but lunches and snacks were not. You’d save a bit that way.

”Sounds like a deal,” you said. “Do we need to sign a contract or anything?”

”Give me a day or two to write it up and you can come back to sign it, if that’s not too much trouble?” He fixed his chocolate brown eyes on you and for a moment you couldn’t even breath, let alone form a coherent thought.

”Um, yeah, that’d be great,” you managed to say after an awkward moment. “You can call me when it’s ready and I’ll come out as soon as I can.” You scribbled your cell phone number on the margin of the planner, along with your name.

”Much obliged,” Joel said. “Pony Princess party, 2 o’clock on Saturday the 15th.”

”And when you come back to sign the paperwork, you can meet all the ponies,” Sarah said. “You can pick out which one your niece gets to ride.” She glanced slyly at Joel. “Maybe Dad can take you out on one of the horses, if you have the right shoes.” She looked down at your tennis shoes and shook her head. Like Joel, she had on well worn cowboy boots, the working kind, not the fashionable kind.

”I might have some boots that would work,” you said. “But I haven’t been on a horse in years. Maybe we’d better leave that to the kids.”

Joel looked you up and down, which made your face heat up. “You’d look good on a horse,” he said. “I think maybe Guapo?”

Sarah nodded firmly. “Oh, yeah, Guapo would be perfect for you. He’s a real softie, good with beginners but not one of those dead to the world type they give you at rental stables.” 

“We’ll see,” you said. “I’d — I’d better be going. I have some errands to run before I head home and I’m sure you’re both busy. I’ll see you in a few days.”

”I’ll call you when I have the contract ready,” Joel said, nodding his head. If he’d been wearing a hat, he would have tipped it. “Nice to meet you.”

As you walked back toward your car, you heard Sarah giggling and Joel shushing her sternly. The kid was a pretty good wingwoman. You wondered how much a pair of real riding boots cost.

***************************************************************************

Joel called you two days later and you arranged to come by that Thursday to sign the contract and finalize the details. You rarely took time off work, so no one batted an eye when you put in for a half day of personal necessity because of an appointment. You left work and stopped off at home to change into jeans and a pair of low heeled boots. You finished off the outfit with a t-shirt that you’d gotten compliments on before. 

As you turned into the drive at Joel’s place, you saw that the way was blocked by a large blue pickup. Joel was in the bed, tossing flakes of hay over the fence into the pasture. 

“I’ll be done in a few minutes, then I’ll get outta your way,” he called out. He was wearing a dirty grey t-shirt with a couple of holes in it and his jeans were covered with dust, but he looked amazing. You didn’t mind waiting with a view like that.

”No worries,” you called back. “Do you need any help?”

”Ah, no darlin’, I’ve got this. Been bucking hay for quite a few years now.” He paused and wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his arm. “Louis’ dad, my uncle, used to have a full on cattle ranch when we were kids. Spent summers out there helping with the horses until I was thirteen.”

You got out of your car and leaned against the fender. “Must have been a dream come true for a Texas kid.”  

Joel shrugged. “It was just work. Tommy always conveniently disappeared when it was time to muck out stalls, but I covered for him.” He returned to his task, easily breaking a bale of hay into flakes and tossing them expertly over the fence, each one landing a few feet from the previous one. The horses and ponies each claimed a flake of their own, except for a few squabbles involving the tiniest pony, a chestnut with a broad white blaze on its face.

”Stop it, you little shit,” Joel yelled, shaking his head. “That li’l Sebastian is the worst. He’s actually a miniature horse, not a pony, so he can’t be ridden and he knows it. Spoiled rotten. But he’s gentle with the little kids and the ones who can’t ride or are too afraid. Gets petted and fed carrots and never does a lick of work.”

Sebastian lifted his nose and pranced toward a tall white horse. He snorted and swished his tail and the big horse reluctantly yielded its hay to the little guy. “See?” Joel said. “Guapo, just step on him.” 

The white horse sighed deeply and shook his head. Joel tossed a flake in his direction and it landed neatly in front of him. Then Joel hopped down from the truck bed. “I’ll get this ol’ beast out of the way and you can drive up to the parking area. I’ve just got to run up to the house for the paperwork, wash my hands, and I’ll be right back.”

You tried not to notice his backside as he stepped into the cab of the truck, but it was right there in front of you. He filled out a pair of jeans nicely.

You parked in the visitor lot, while Joel parked his truck off to the side. “Go on through the barn and sit at one of the tables,” he called out. “I’ll be there in a minute.” He walked quickly toward the neatly painted white ranch style house that stood behind the pasture, his gait a bit stiff. He’d mentioned hurting his back at work before starting the party business. It looked like it still bothered him. 

You sat at one of the picnic tables. It was pleasant under the patio roof, which blocked the sun but allowed a nice breeze. Whoever had designed this place knew what he was doing.

Joel hurried back with a sheaf of papers in his hand. His hands were clean but the rest of him was still dusty. There were bits of hay stuck to his shirt and in his hair. “Okay,” he said, settling down next to you. “Let’s go over the details and then get this contract signed.” 

It was hard to concentrate on the paperwork with him sitting beside you. He smelled like hay and sweat and horses and something else, maybe aftershave or deodorant that had a hint of something woodsy. Whatever it was, the entire cocktail of scents was enticing.

”So, the standard party comes with a sheet cake from Kroger and vanilla ice cream. The cake will say Happy Birthday and your niece’s name. You get to pick what color icing for the words and the border. And we put a plastic unicorn on top that she gets to keep.”

”Um, purple, she’s into purple right now.”

Joel nodded and wrote “purple” into a blank on the sheet in front of him. His handwriting was neat and precise.

”Okay, and the piñata will be a dragon, unless you want something else. No extra charge, all the piñatas are the same price.”

”Dragon is fine,” you said, distracted by a piece of hay that was lodged in the curls just above his temple. You fought the urge to reach out and remove it.

”You okay?” Joel asked. 

“Um, yeah, you just … you have some hay …” You gestured toward his head and he brushed his hand through his hair.

”Occupational hazard,” he said with a gentle laugh. “Did I get it?”

”Not quite. Do you mind …?”

He leaned toward you and you plucked the hay stem from his hair, which was silky soft. You wanted to run your fingers through it so badly, but you contented yourself with removing the hay. “There, now you look presentable,” you said.

”Thanks,” he said softly. There was a pause, charged with something that certainly wasn’t business related. He cleared his throat. “Okay, so we have games.”

You half listened as Joel went over the games and activities that would be provided. You just nodded and agreed to all the standard choices. Ashley would just be thrilled to be around ponies and dress up with her friends. And if you weren’t talking, that meant you got to listen to Joel’s voice even more.

You reached the end of the paperwork and Joel handed you the pen to sign the contract. It was still warm from his hand and you shook just a little as you wrote your signature on the dotted line.

”All done,” Joel said. His eyes swept up and down your body. “So, you ready for that ride?”

Your tongue wouldn’t move. Had he really just suggested …? 

“I mean, you wore jeans and boots, so I figured you were planning to take me up on Sarah’s offer.”

”Oh, yeah,” you said, shaking your head as the blood rushed to your face. “Sorry, I was just … yeah, a horseback ride would be wonderful.”

Joel swept the paperwork up. “Back in two jiffs,” he said. “I’ll just put this in the office and then we’ll get the horses ready.”

He ducked into a small room in the barn, then handed you a lead rope. You followed him to the pasture, where the horses were still nibbling at their hay. Joel opened the gate and walked inside, catching first the white horse, Guapo, and then a big strong looking bay horse. He took the lead rope from you and clipped it onto Guapo’s halter.

”He’s a sweetheart,” he said. “Just walk and he’ll go with you. Take him into the breezeway in the barn.”  

You were nervous. You’d never handled a horse before, but Guapo was just as gentle as Joel promised. He walked alongside you, his head bobbing with the rhythm of his hooves, which clip-clopped against the hard packed dirt and the concrete of the barn floor.

Joel soon followed with the bay horse. You watched as he tied both horses to rings set in the wall and gave them a quick brushing. Then he brought out the saddles, which he handled as if they weighed nothing. It was fascinating to watch him tack up the horses, moving gently but quickly as he got them ready for the ride. Soon they were both saddled and bridled and you started to feel nervous again.

Joel showed you how to lead Guapo by the cheek piece of his bridle. “Just walk him over to the mounting block,” he said. “He knows the drill.”

Sure enough, the white horse stood next to the set of wooden steps so that they were perfectly aligned with his saddle. Joel smiled at you as he took the reins just under Guapo’s chin. “You okay to get on by yourself?”

”I think so,” you said. “It’s been years since I rode a horse.”

”Just remember, left foot in the stirrup, then hop up and swing the right leg over.” You felt incredibly exposed as you fumbled your way into the saddle. If you hadn’t felt Joel’s eyes on you the whole time, it would have been easier.

Once you were in the saddle, Joel led Guapo forward a few steps and then took your ankle in his hand. “Slip your foot out,” he said quietly. “I need to adjust the stirrups.” He pushed your leg forward so that your foot was on Guapo’s shoulder, then tugged at the leather straps. When he was done, he grabbed your foot and put it back into the stirrup. His hands were big and strong. He nodded and then went around the other side to adjust the right stirrup. Being man-handled, even so gently, was making you very aware of your body. You shifted in the saddle, glad your jeans were thick enough to hide the dampness that was spreading through your panties.

Once Joel was satisfied that your stirrups were good, he fetched the bay horse from the barn and swung into the saddle with a grunt that made your insides clench. “I’m supposed to use the mounting block,” he said, “‘cause of my back, but just don’t tell Sarah, okay?”

You nodded. “Okay, remember, hold the reins in your left hand, just above the saddle horn. Keep your fist up, like you're gonna do a thumbs up. Steer him like using a joystick on one of those old Atari games. Move your hand to the right to go right, left to go left, back toward your belly to stop or slow down. And sit back in the saddle when you ask him to stop. All right, let’s go.”

He tapped his heels against the bay horse’s sides and they walked off. Guapo followed behind after you gave him a gentle tap. It was a different world from up on a horse’s back. You could feel Guapo’s muscles moving beneath the saddle, hear his breathing and snorts as the other horse kicked up dust in his face, and the creaking of the saddle leather. 

“Wow, this is so cool,” you said. 

“This is nothing,” Joel said over his shoulder. “This is just a pony ride. You get good enough, there’s a place down by the river where the sand is level and smooth and you can gallop. Talk about a real cowgirl experience. Ah, shit, that didn’t sound right, I’m sorry.”

You laughed. “I know what you meant. And either way, it sounds amazing.” You felt the blood rush to your face again as the words popped out of your mouth. You hadn’t meant to flirt so hard. This was technically still a business transaction, after all.

Joel laughed heartily. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” His eyes skimmed over your body once again. “You look good on a horse. Not everyone does.”

”Thanks,” you said. “So do you.”

The trail widened out and Joel pulled his horse back so that you were riding side by side. “You know, Sarah would kill me if I didn’t take the opportunity to ask you out. After the party, of course.”

”Of course,” you said. “And she’d probably kill me if I didn’t say yes. I mean, how often does someone literally bring you a white horse?”

”Gray,” Joel said. “Guapo’s not white, he’s gray.” He shook his head. “Shit, sorry, I’m used to teaching the kids about how white horses are really rare and most of the ones you see that look white are really grays … and I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

”Yeah, but it’s adorable,” you said. “Makes me feel a little less awkward myself.”

You rode in silence for a moment. “Can I ask you something?”

���Sure,” Joel said.

”Why’s he named Guapo? I mean he’s not ugly or anything but he’s certainly not Trigger or the Black Stallion, is he?”

Joel smiled. “Louis went to the horse auction to get some ponies. Saw this fellow in the pen and he looked like hell. Skinny, had a skin rash, just messed up. Knew he’d end up with the kill buyers, so he bought him. Everyone teased him about buying an ugly horse, but his assistant, Reynaldo, stood up for him. He said ‘Don’t let them laugh at you, you’re muy guapo, my friend.’ And it turns out, after they got him cleaned up and fed and everything, they checked his lip tattoo and he’s a Thoroughbred. Ran thirty races in his career and won three. Even was in a stakes over at Sam Houston when he was three. Finished up the track, but at least he had a shot at glory.”

”Wow, you were a racehorse?” You leaned forward to pat Guapo’s neck. He flicked an ear back at you. “He’s so gentle.”

”Smart horses, Thoroughbreds,” Joel said. “King here, he’s half quarter horse, half Andalusian. Talk about smart.” He patted the bay horse on the neck. “But he needs an experienced rider. Guapo knows how to take care of a beginner. King would just take advantage of them.”

You chatted back and forth as the horses walked down the trail. Joel was relaxed, sitting his horse easily, his eyes crinkled against the sun. You could have looked at him all day. And the way his hips moved with the rhythm of King’s stride … 

Eventually, Joel glanced at his watch. “Better head back,” he said with a sigh. “Sarah will be getting home from school any minute and if she has to do more than her fair share of the barn chores I’ll get an earful.” 

He turned King around and headed back up the trail. Guapo followed suit and before you knew it, both horses were trotting, eager to get home. Joel hardly moved in his saddle, but you were jolting all over the place.

”Ouch! How do you stay sitting down when they do this?”

Joel laughed mischievously. “Well, it helps that King’s got that smooth Quarter Horse jog,” he said. “Guapo was taught two speeds: walk and run. Off track Thoroughbreds have a real rough trot. Probably should have warned you.” He reined King back to a walk and Guapo dropped back into a less bone-jolting gait as well. 

“Thought I was going to fall off for a second there,” you said. 

“You were bouncing around quite a bit,” Joel admitted, although from the look on his face, he hadn’t minded watching you jiggle. 

“You did that on purpose,” you realized. 

“Had to give you the full cowgirl experience,” he said with a wink. You had reached the narrow beginning of the trail again, and he pulled King in front of Guapo, so you only had a view of his back, but you were certain he was smirking. You didn’t mind too much, though; the view was worth any amount of teasing you had to endure. Joel Miller had a mighty fine seat.

***************************************************

Sarah was leaning smugly against the side of the barn when you rode up. “Trying to stick me with all the chores while you’re off having fun, huh, Dad?”

”If I recall, it was your idea I take her out for a ride,” he said, swinging easily off King’s back. Sarah took the reins and led the bay toward the barn. Joel came and stood next to Guapo’s shoulder. 

”You need any help getting down?”

”I think I can manage,” you said. You weren’t as graceful as he was, though, and stumbled a bit as your left foot caught in the stirrup on the way down. Joel’s hands were there to steady you.

”Kick both feet clear before you get off next time, then you won’t have that problem,” he said gently. “But otherwise, I’d give it a seven.” His hands were warm against your arms.

”Ah, geez, Mr. M, there’s kids here.”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Ellie, what the hell are you doing here?”

You both turned to see another girl leaning against the barn. She was around Sarah’s age, her brown hair pulled back in an untidy pony tail and a defiant smirk on her face.

”Sarah invited me,” she said. “Said you were making chili for dinner and you know they don’t feed me at that place.”

”That is one hundred percent grade A bullshit,” Joel said. “I know for a fact that Mrs. Morales is a great cook. She brings stuff to the PTA meetings all the time and we all fight over it.”

Ellie shrugged. “Exactly. All us kids have to fight over it, too. At least around here there’s only two other people I have to compete with.” Her eyes narrowed at you. “Maybe three, huh?”

”She’s not staying for dinner,” Joel said. “Unless you want to …?”

”Thank you, but I should probably get going. I left work early today and there’s some stuff I need to take care of before I go in tomorrow.” If it had just been him and Sarah, you would have said yes in a heartbeat. 

Sarah came back out of the barn and took Guapo’s reins. “Way to just stand there, Ellie,” she said. “You could have helped.”

”I thought I was a guest,” Ellie whined, as she followed Sarah and Guapo into the barn.

”It’s still polite to offer help,” Sarah said.

”Sorry, I wasn’t raised in a barn like some people,” Ellie replied.

Joel shook his head. “Those two. Ellie’s in foster care. Nice family but poor kid’s been bounced around so much she keeps a wall up. She likes Sarah, though. And she’d never admit it, but she loves the ponies. Caught her braiding flowers into Sebastian’s mane one day.”

He walked you back to your car. “So, I guess I’ll see you on the day of the party.” He shuffled his boots in the gravel. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” you replied. “Um, thanks again for the ride. I had a lot of fun. Although my backside might have another opinion by the time I get home.” You rubbed at the seat of your jeans.

”You and your backside are welcome any time,” he said. “And I meant it about that date after the party. We’ll go somewhere nice, I promise. You won’t have to wear jeans.”

”Anywhere is fine if it’s with you,” you said without thinking. “I mean … I’m not fussy. I don’t expect a first date to be …”

Joel ducked his head and smiled. “I hear ya,” he said. “I just want it to be special because I think you’re pretty special. I mean, doing all this for your niece … you’re a good aunt.”

”Just kiss her already,” Ellie yelled from the barn. “There’s barn chores to do, Mr. M!”

Joel shook his head. “I swear, if that kid hadn’t already had such a rough life …” He leaned forward and kissed you on the cheek. “That’s an IOU for a real kiss. Once you’re no longer a customer.”

”I expect full payment on that,” you said. “I’ll see you at the party.”

You got into your car and pulled out. Joel stood watching you drive away and you got butterflies in your stomach. Maybe this whole party thing was turning out to be more of a present for yourself than for Ashley.

*************************************************************

The morning of the party was pure chaos. Ashley couldn’t decide which princess dress to wear, the baby was fussy, your brother-in-law had a cold and was sneezing his head off, and your sister was about ready to break down in tears.

”I’ve got this,” you said as soon as you arrived at their house. “Ashley, why don’t you wear the purple dress? It’ll match your cake. And you can wear your jeans underneath so it’ll be more comfortable riding the ponies.” You took Jacob and started to bounce him up and down. “Sis, go get yourself ready.” You turned to your brother-in-law. “And you, go take a dose of DayQuil and then sit down and rest.”

Eventually, everyone was in the minivan and ready to go. You volunteered to drive, since you knew the way. Your sister sat in the passenger seat beside you.

”Thank you again for planning all this,” she said. “I know it was a lot of work, but Ashley is so excited to ride the ponies.”

”Well, it wasn’t all that hard,” you admitted. “Joel’s got a really nice set up and he took care of all the details. All I have to do is show up and pay the bill.”

”You like him, don’t you? I can tell by the way your face lights up when you talk about him. And you’ve been talking about him an awful lot for someone you’re doing business with.” She winked.

”I do like him,” you said. “We’re going to go out soon. After the party is over, when I’m not a client anymore.”

”Good for you. You deserve it.”

You were the first car to arrive, which made you sigh with relief. Sarah waved at you from the barn. “Welcome! Is this the birthday girl?”

”It is,” you said, leading Ashley over while your sister and brother-in-law got Jacob out of his car seat. “Ashley, this is Sarah. Her daddy owns this place.”

”Lady Sarah Miller at your service, Your Majesty,” Sarah said with a curtsy. “You’re the princess today, so let’s get your crown!” 

She led you through the barn and both you and Ashley gasped when you saw the party area. There were pink and purple streamers and balloons hanging from the roof and every table had a runner of white butcher paper and several small buckets of crayons. A big gold painted armchair sat at the end of the table closest to the gift table. It was draped with purple cloth and a glittery plastic crown sat on a purple cushion.

”This is your throne,” Sarah said. “Because it’s your special day and you’re the princess, you get to sit in the best seat in the house.” She helped Ashley put on the crown and secure it to her hair with bobby pins. 

“And now, before your guests arrive, let’s meet your unicorn!”

Joel appeared, leading a white pony with a golden horn attached to its forehead. Its mane had been dyed all the colors of the rainbow. “This is Alabaster,” he said gently, crouching down to Ashley’s level. “She’s a very special unicorn and she only comes to visit the farm on days when there’s a princess here. So we’re lucky you came.”

Ashley fell in love with Alabaster and immediately started petting her. Sarah showed her how to offer carrots on a flat palm so that Alabaster couldn’t accidentally nip her. “Unicorns love carrots,” Sarah said. “They’re like candy to them, so sometimes they get a little bit greedy, just like we do. So we have to be careful they don’t hurt us with their magical teeth.”

You turned to Joel. “This is beautiful,” you said. “She’s going to remember this day for the rest of her life. Thank you.”

”Just doin’ my job,” Joel said. “Although we did throw in a few extra touches special for Ashley. And there’s one more surprise just for you.” He gestured for you to follow him. Around the side of the barn stood Guapo, his mane braided with flowers and a silvery unicorn horn parting his forelock. “Sarah and Ellie thought you might enjoy a unicorn of your own. Ellie did the mane, believe it or not.”

“Oh, Joel, he’s … he’s beautiful.” You stroked Guapo’s face. The gelding looked a bit embarrassed to be all gussied up, but he leaned into your hand. “But you know a real unicorn can only be tamed by a maiden fair. And it’s been a long time since I was a maiden, if you know what I mean.”

Joel grinned. “Well, Guapo’s a special kind of unicorn. He doesn’t care about all that. He just looks for a woman who’s pure of heart, the kind of woman who would go to great lengths to give her niece a special birthday.”  He laid his hand on Guapo’s face, his fingers just brushing against yours. “And as his human sponsor, I for one have no use for fair maidens.” His voice lowered. “I like my ladies a bit more experienced.”

”Oh, I know how to ride,” you said. “Guapo can tell you that.”

“Well, there’s a difference between what Guapo and I expect on a ride,” he said. “But we can talk about that later. Right now, we’ve got a pony party to put on!”

********************************************************************

”Damn, girl, you weren’t kidding when you said you knew how to ride,” Joel said, his hands digging into your hips. You were straddling him, his cock buried deep within you, chasing your second orgasm of the night. 

“Helps if you have a good mount,” you said. “One who’s well trained, knows what he’s doing, and listens to your cues.” You worked your hips against him, inching ever closer to a climax.

Joel bucked under you. “Helps the mount if the rider is good,” he panted. “Gotta work as a team.”

You’d had dinner at a local Italian restaurant and then had gone back to his place. Sarah was spending the night with a friend, so you had the whole house to yourselves. 

Your body stiffened as you tipped over the edge, and Joel soon followed you, giving one final thrust as he spent himself inside you. “Hot damn,” he said, as you slid off of him, careful not to disturb the condom. “I don’t normally do this on a first date, you know.”

You flopped down beside him. “Neither do I,” you said. “But with Sarah out of the house it was too good an opportunity to pass up, don’t you think?”

He disposed of the condom and brought a washcloth from the bathroom. After you had cleaned yourselves up, he gently held your chin. “I like you,” he said seriously. “Sarah likes you. The horses like you. I think … maybe we can make this work.”

”So do I,” you said. “I want to try, as least.”

”Guapo’s a good judge of character,” he said.

”Unicorns usually are.”

[hanasnx]

so i imagine that toji and you have been on-again-off-again for a couple years now, like every time you break up, your dads all like 'yeah right, i give it a week.' but this time its for real, say its been like two months and to prove to your family that you're over him, you invite your new man to your dads bday party at your parents house.

you get there and are obviously pissed. of course your dad invited toji and didn't tell you, he didn't believe you were broken up. but what's worse is your new man ain't answering his phone, so you cant even lie to him and tell him the party is cancelled. so he shows up, and its awkward as hell, and he doesn't understand why until you finally introduced everyone except toji. i can see his cocky ass strolling up to the poor guy, smirking with his shady eyes, shaking his hand firmly and introducing himself as your ex boyfriend.

or would he just say hes a friend of your fathers? play along, and befriend the guy before you or maybe one of your nicer cousins pull the poor guy aside and fill him in? all the while, you're staring daggers at your father, while he's shrugging at you like he isn't at fault for this.

idk, i just love the potential for angst and tension here with this scenario. i fucking live for it bro. like your new man seeing a photo of you and toji on the wall, didn't you ask your dad to take that down last time you were here? or how toji's hand lingers on yours a little to long as he passes you your slice of birthday cake. or how friendly all of your family seems to be with him. he fits right in.

but the best part-later that night, after your new man's ego has been beaten down beyond repair, and him and most of your family has left, Toji lingers (because your father made it clear he's always welcome), and he ends up fucking you in the spare room that used to be your bedroom, or maybe in the back of his car parked out front, or in the kitchen while your parents are sleeping, all the while whispering and teasing you about how cute it was for you to think you could ever move on from him.

i could even see him texting your new man from your phone while he’s doing it, saying something cheeky or even breaking up with him for you. but you'd be too preoccupied to notice or care, obviously, reveling in how good it feels to be filled up by him again, because of course toji’s dick is bigger than what you’ve been getting. but not just his size, he knows all your sweet spots and remembers exactly how you like it, how could he forget? and by the time he’s done with you, he’s already convinced you to get back together.

his dick game is just that good you cannot convince me otherwise.

— source.

me rn bcos i got to feel like the reader and was biting the fuck outta my finger flirting with the screen

i absolutely love the on-and-off-again trope. your dad probably thought you two were gonna get married bcos of how attached-at-the-hip you were for a while. like angelina jolie and billy bob thornton. crazy in love, cant keep hands off each other, making long-term plans, toji probably asked for his fucking blessing at some point

and just like that, it ended. totally blindsided the whole family, constantly asking you about "wheres your man? huh? where's he at?" until you had to solemnly explain you weren't together anymore. all your little siblings and cousins, nieces and nephews, all are devastated because uncle toji isn't around anymore and they loved him so so much. that was the first time you and him broke up, and he was already so ingrained in the family that it shook through them all when suddenly he wasn't around anymore, everybody loved him. especially your dad who's tough and just, and never liked anybody, especially any of your boyfriends. he's expressed that toji was good enough to take care of his little girl, that he could trust you were in good hands when toji was around. you were safe, protected. (your new boyfriend cant compare in your father's eyes. he's a pansy compared to toji, which you always distressfully protest to because that's not a real criticism and your dad is just playing favorites.)

but then the family sees you two get back together, you and toji are back and better than ever. everybody's ecstatic to see him: your sisters and aunts dote on him, ask him to carry heavy things just to talk about how handsome he is when his muscles bulge like that; your uncles and brothers talk man-to-man with him, show him their cars and share their beers and ask him if he wants to watch the game. toji, quite the charmer, insists he's gonna spend time with his girl, and stays with you in the kitchen while you hang with your mom. oh, your mom loves toji. talks about what a spitting image he is of the husband shes always wanted you to have. she makes him lean down so far when she wants to give him a goodbye kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening, she lists out the stuff she wants done around the house and toji does them. even tho its supposed to be a party.

fast forward to your dad's bday, and nobody believes you that you and him are done "for good this time" because they've heard about almost every break-up and reunion. they're so convinced that you and him are meant to be, you're just being stubborn.

toji swaggering up to your poor new man to introduce himself so gruffly with his deep voice and callused hand shaking his, saying so shamelessly he's your ex boyfriend. that's crazy big dick energy. it implies so much, loaded asf, bcos you're sighing and hanging your head into your hand because toji just had to go and do something like that.

the photo!! the fucking photo on the wall!! your new bf sees it before you can hastily pull it down off its fucking nail bcos you totally did ask them to take that down! and its such a good picture too. you and toji tangled so close together. he's in leather jacket, cheek-to-cheek with you, arms around you while your leg is up around him. you look good together.

i think he'd play a bit of a hard-to-get thing with you, coyly asking you about your boyfriend, where'd you meet, etc. you know him too well to think he's being genuine, and he hits you that he thinks its "cute"

you have to leave because there's no way you're gonna talk about this shit with him, having an argument in the driveway between your cars because you cant keep your voice down when you're with him. you're berating him for showing his face here even if he was invited, and he's telling you its not his fault your father loves him so much. fighting like an old married couple when he tells you he wants you back and he doesn't give a fuck who that skeevy guy was that came earlier. he tells you that he knows you want a real man when you left him because of how pigheaded and brutish he is. pandering to your family so you'll never be rid of him is exactly the kind of manipulation you wanted to get away from, and he defends it as some sort of strategy of playing the long game for the finger he wants to put a ring on. and its like you've done this game before, you're tired. one thing you're not tired of, is how remarkably agreeable the two of you are while you're fucking. so you settle the argument with your bodies <3

[doodgiee]

Character lineup of prominant kids in a Riddle School project I've been working on for a long time.

Think I'm going to start calling it Riddle Transferred? Because they're all grown up, they've made the transfer

There's much more to come, but you're allowed this taster.

Canon:

Phil Eggtree: The Phil Eggtree we all know and love, however the guilt and stress of his dream murdering and double abduction have been haunting him.

Phred Whistler: His a little worn and worse for wear, but ever since seeing Phil save the world he's been inspired to live life to the fullest instead of just letting life take him wherever. He's far more motivated than his younger self

Smiley Sundae: With increased pressure with her studies, Smiley's trademark Smile has faded slightly over the years. Her underlying but constant struggle in academic fields has made her question her path for the future, but she'll still lighten up anyone's day with that heart of gold

Zack Kelvin: Despite still learning to deal with his peculiar temperature issues, especially with puberty taking a toll on it, He's definitely become more social after having the opportunity to express himself more without freezing to death. But still lacks crucial social cues. His friends are still helping him with that.

Richy Stud: This pushover has joined the main gang and have been a part of it for a while, serving as the social bridge between the core 4 and the B team of the Riddle Elementary kids he doesn't know them quite as well but still serves as a friendly face. And yes, he collects buttons

Chubb Munch: A gentle giant with a heart of gold. He'll always be a bigger guy comapred to most people, and frankly it never bothered him anyway. But since he vowed to work on his diet his life has never been better

5 08: A little arrogant, but with how charismatic he is it's hard to blame him. His shirt sales have been steady and it serves as more of a hobby than anything else. On good terms with Richy and Phil specifically. He considers Phil his best customer.

Greg Sleep: He's always been a bit distant from his friends, but in all fairness, he's asleep 90% of the time. He remains a bit of an enigma

Joe Kerosene: With his history with the Riddle gang being a rocky middle school life, Joe's not exactly friendly with many of the people he grew up with. He and Phil don't get along at all. Phil considers him an idiot and Joe considers him a snarky prick. He's found company with other people, but he may have bit off more than he can chew

OCs:

Null Rooster-Lea: One of Joe's new 'friends' he's distant, and never seen without a scowl on his face. He's cold, and its better not to cross him

Rodrigo Cwesschyn: Another one of Joe's new friends. He's the son of ex elementary principle Mr. Cwesschyn. Ever since his father has been imprisoned for injuring students, Rodrigo has had to become the man of the house for his mother and siblings. He blames the students that attended Riddle Elementary for his unsteady life.

Cassie Pants: Another part of Joe's group, she's bratty and enjoys messing with people she's directed towards, but she doesn't hold any ill will unlike her friends. She's just a pest, not evil.

Franky Pants: The older brother of Cassie, he isn't interested in the antics and rivalries her little sister gets up to, that's her life to lead. He's pretty friendly, but remains neutral to our protagonists. He just wished his sister made some nicer friends

Kath Penilian : A university student, far removed from the happenings at Riddle High, She's good friends with Richy, meeting over the niche hobby of button collecting. She serves as a friendly, older friend of the Riddle gang, being able to offer an ear to listen and a bit of wisdom.

[espers-n-espurrs]

The Effects of the Darkest Day on Spikemuth

i said i was going to write this and write this i shall. apologies for any spelling mistakes or the like, im typing this on my phone.

here we go.

the darkest day was horrific for all in galar but i want to focus on spikemuth as that is where i am from.

for those of you unaware of spikemuth let me paint a picture.

spikemuth is the poorest city in galar, with low income and high poverty rates. the city itself exists within several large warehouses, each housing different portions of the city. the reasons behind the city having been built in warehouses was because the city was founded by the homeless who used those abandoned warehouses as their home. over time they managed to build homes and stores and the like within the warehouse walls and soon spikemuth was born.

it is also one of the many reasons spikemuth is known as the home of the punks as punk culture resonated with those that had been beat down by the hands of the big man.

but onto the darkest day. the second darkest day occured on november 15th, 2022 during the galar league championship. you see, spikemuth tends to go pretty hard when it comes to the championships (especially because marnie had gotten to participate that year) so many had taken the day off and were spending it with friends and family to watch the championship on the telly. everyone was having a blast, partying and drinking and just having a good ole.

but then former league chairman rose did what he did. i dont have to recount it. most of us know what he did.

so instead let me speak about the rampaging dynamax pokemon. you see, while spikemuth did not have an artificial powerspot as former gym leader piers adamantly refused to have one built (for good reason) that didnt mean eternatus wasnt making natural ones spawn.

so pkmn started to dynamax within the warehouses of spikemuth, breaking through the warehouse ceilings and sending building toppling down as the roofs that once kept us safe fell down.

i will not go into much more detail about that but as a result spikemuth suffered the highest amount of casualties of any city in galar from this event. many without their friends or family and now for many that survived they were without a home.

and the homeless crisis for spikemuth was only going to become worse as the city began to get repaired.

only two part of spikemuth and their warehouses could be repaired, allowing them to still exist within the warehouses that founded this city while the rest of the city that had to be rebuilt had to be built outside of the warehouses. entire parts of our history was removed or demolished as the city had to be rebuilt.

and with the rebuilding of the city came the gentrification. investors and the like trying to help rebuild the city by builder fancier apartment complexes than what we had and expensive housing. so expensive in fact that most spikemuthians could not afford it. so i stead of building affordable housing to combat the homelessness crisis they in turn mad it worse that what it had been before. more and more people with higher incomes from other cities moving to spikemuth and the price of living just kept going up.

and i dont care that more people are moving to spikemuth, i love spikemuth, but its making it harder for those of us that already lived here.

my family managed to get a new flat after everything but its not any bigger than the one we had before or really that much nicer and yet it is much more expensive. before the darkest day we were considering moving into a bigger flat that wouldve cost the same amount as the one we now have but we cant. do that anymore.

and the city is still rebuilding. its only been a year and a half since the darkest day. we will be rebuilding for a while. and im worried about what direction its going to go.

the darkest day has had a lasting effect on more than just being traumatic. and it will have a lasting effect for generations to come.

[foxilayde]

100 from the smut prompts is very OTTR Leto hehehehe

[thank you for the prompt, Scout! I had so much fun with this one!]

100. “You’re still so needy, even after I just fucked you”

Needy [OTTR Leto Atreides x Fem!Reader]

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY smut

When you’d first seen the bedroom where you and Leto would be spending the holidays with his family, his childhood bedroom, you laughed. You thought it was a joke. Until Leto set your suitcase on the floor, kissed the side of your head, and said, “we’re gonna be real cozy, baby.” It wasn’t so much the room itself, with it’s old posters, track and field trophies, and his mother’s sewing table in the corner. It was the bed. A twin bed. Fitted with flannel sheets and a comforter so small that you weren’t sure it would even cover the two of you.

“We’re sleeping here?” You point worriedly to the bed, eyes shooting wide.

Leto hisses and looks over his shoulder, checking to make sure his mother didn’t hear the affronted tone to your voice from the kitchen where she was cooking a welcome home meal for her apparently prodigal son. You’d never seen anyone greeted with as many kisses and tears, crossing herself and thanking various saints for Leto materializing for his holiday stay.

Leto closes the door quietly, and puts his hands on his hips. “There a problem?”

God, you don’t want to start fighting. What kind of impression would that be? A helluva way to introduce yourself to the Atreides clan gathered together downstairs.

You blink down at the bed, doing mental math, trying to envision what sleeping positions the two of you would have to hold in order to not fall off either side of the mattress.

“No.” You say with a smile, placing a hand on his heart and kissing his cheek. “Looks cozy.”

Leto scrunches his nose in agitation and sighs. “We’ll try it tonight and if it’s bad we’ll get a hotel nearby.”

You nod.

“It’ll break ma’s heart of course. She went through all this trouble—“

“Leto, it’ll be great.” You reassure him, rubbing the back of his black cashmere sweater, giving him a peck on the nose. “Let’s go downstairs, you have to introduce me to everyone.” You grin in earnest this time. You really are excited to meet his family, and warmly honored that he wants you to, and that his mother— without even knowing you— insisted you stay the full week in her house, amidst all the commotion and joyful bustle of so many family and friends celebrating together.

Leto’s eyes soften and he glances back at the bed, “I swear that thing was a lot bigger when I was 18.”

You laugh, hugging him close to you, “thank you for brining me, Leto.”

Leto hums, burying his face in your hair, rubbing your back firmly, “thanks for kicking my ass about going home for the holidays, baby. This’ll be nice. And if it’s not—“

“A hotel, yeah I know.”

—————-

It ends up being very nice. Much nicer than you anticipated, not only have you been ingratiated into the Atreides family with open arms (Leto’s sisters were downright haranguing him for not having proposed to you yet), but the sleeping situation isn’t horrible at all, in fact, its downright cozy. Just like he’d said it would be.

It’s a snowy week in Jersey, a climate that neither of you are accustomed to at your costal home in California, but it’s toasty inside the glowing home, and the heat rises to the top floor where Leto’s room is. Plus the heat of both of you, snuggled cozy in the small bed under the flannel sheets, it’s comforting in a way you’ve never known in your oversized king bed by the sea. Sure, there’s no Egyptian cotton sheets, no down comforter, but there’s also no balcony for Leto to escape to for his cigarette, no way for either of you to scoot to a respective side if you get in a ‘mood’. He holds you close, in his arms, your legs tucked together. He can kiss parts of you without moving much. He whispers how much he loves you, loves seeing you with his family, he strokes your arm, your side, your back, with the tips of his fingers until you’re lulled to sleep. And after so much socializing every day, so much food and drink and nieces and nephews running around, you sleep like a rock through the night.

On the fifth night, instead of assuming your position as the little spoon like you have been the previous four nights, you slip in between the sheets and lay down on your side in bed and face him, stroking his beard. You love that he grows it out in the colder seasons, it suits his face so well. He looks so utterly soft and domestic in his white sleep shirt, no gold gazelle shades or silk button down. You study his face in the low lights provided by the Christmas bulbs outside the window that glow softly through the frosted glass. You try to see the boy his mother showed you in the photo albums the day before. He’s usually so hard and gruff, it’s hard to do, but when his eyes turn up in question at your inspection, you can see him in there in the warm brown depths. You grin, biting your lower lip.

Leto shakes his head softly, grinning back at you, “I know that look, little miss.”

“What look?!” You whisper, scooting closer into his embrace, giggling at his expression and stroking his beard lightly.

“I know that look. You’re thinking naughty thoughts.” Leto pinches your side and you nearly yelp from the tickling, you would have too, if you weren’t acutely aware of his mother’s room being on the other side of the wall.

You slap his chest as best you can in such close proximity, but the lack of leverage only makes your hand cling to his pec in a needy way and Leto glances down at it. “She’s gettin frisky.” He sighs somewhat dramatically in a put upon way, grabbing your hand and kissing the tips of your fingers, “I shouldn’t be so surprised. You’ve been without daddy’s cock for what, 72 hours now? Baby must be starving.”

He’s such a self-satisfied tease, taking total mirth in your affronted expression, encircling your wrist in his palm while you try your best to take a good playful whack at his chest.

“For your information, it’s been… over a hundred hours.”

“That so? Well I trust you to keep score on the t-minus how long its been since you’ve cum, needy, needy baby.”

“You love that I’m needy,” you lay the sultry eyes on him, “because you love giving me what I need.”

Leto’s eyes go dumb for half a second and he loosens his grip on your wrists, allowing you to maneuver your hands around his broad shoulders, gently guiding his body to easily roll over your own.

��Oh yeah? And what does baby need, huh?” He rubs his nose against yours, he’s smiling so big his teeth are showing and you know from experience he won’t so much as kiss you until you tell him. Explicitly.

“I need,” You hear a floorboard creek from somewhere down the hallway. Jesus, the last thing you need is for someone to overhear what you’re about to say to your boyfriend. You put your mouth up next to Leto’s ear and whisper, “I need your big cock inside me.” You tug the lobe of his ear gently between your teeth.

Leto groans in approval, kissing you messily as you both work to rid yourselves of all sleep attire.

“You gotta be quiet, baby,” Leto says between kisses. Your moan of agreement is sharp and needy against his lips and probably already louder than you should be judging by the way Leto chuckles against your lips.

It’s not as though you’re a loud person, or have been historically or anything, you’ve never been a ‘screamer’, but with Leto? Let’s just say the man has been known to pull unholy sounds out of you with nothing but his lips, tongue, and two well-placed fingers. The man just does something to you. Those fingers make their way between your naked bodies to the heat between your legs, swiping at your already substantial wetness.

“Fuck. Baby. So fucking wet. You been horny for me all evening or what?”

You moan again, pursing your lips closed you try your best to reign in your expression of pleasure, nodding. “Yeah. Need you.”

Leto plants his forehead against yours and uses the wetness from your pussy to stroke his cock, teasing your folds with his tip, earning a barely stifled moan from you to his delight.

“What was it, baby? What got you so worked up that you’re that fucking wet for me, huh?” He’s taking far to much pleasure in teasing you, letting his cock notch in and slide up, rubbing your clit with the underside of his cock. “Tell me, baby. Tell me and I’ll give it to you, give you what you need.”

You’re so ravenously horny at this point you don’t care if he knows exactly what it was this evening that was making you hot and bothered. “Seeing you with Joey and Nicky, with the boys, how good you are with them, how… how, oh fuck, how good of a uncle you are, what a good dad you’d be.”

That stops him cold for the flash of an instant, forehead on yours, panting heavily above you. He warms to it almost instantly, running a hand from your hip bone all the way up to your cheek, making you shiver audibly in the process. “That right, baby? Mmmm, fuck, that what you want? Want me to make you a mommy, huh?”

You gasp at the combination of his phrasing and the dark look in in his eyes. You can’t tell if he’s teasing or if he’s taking it in earnest, calling your bluff like he so often does at any and all detriment to himself just to prove a point.

Leto slides home and your replying moan is unquestionably too loud for comfort because Leto covers your mouth with his palm, scooting deep into you and whispering, “What did I say, huh? Shhhh.” He replaces his hand with his mouth and fucks into you slowly, but not without force. Enough force to make the bed squeak softly underneath your hips. You grab him by his backside, fingers divoting the warm flesh of his ass, drawing him further into your throbbing cunt.

Leto’s lips against yours are working twofold in containing both the sounds of your pleasure and his own. You feed them to each other, one hand on the back of his head, one on his ass and maybe its the fact that this is Vacation Sex, or that you haven’t had each other in a handful of days, but Leto is more vocal than usual and struggling, like you, to reign it in. You can feel it in the hunch of his shoulders, the crease in his brow, in the way he wrestles between fucking the way he wants to and straining to mitigate the sounds of the creaky old headboard and squeaky wire box spring beneath you.

All he can do is give it to you hard and slow, easing into every thrust, never making a move that would surprise you enough to punch a shriek into the silent night air.

When you break the kiss to tell him, “I’m close, I’m close, I’— I’m—“

He groans, pained by restriction, burying his face into your neck and galloping into you at as unhurried a pace as he can while still maintaining the effort of “keeping quiet”. Leto can feel when you’re on the brink and he covers your mouth with his palm again, biting into your shoulder to stave off his own orgasm til yours is complete. Your toes curl into the warm flannel sheet and you try your damndest to keep your whine as silent as possible, Leto fucking you steadily through your climax. It goes on for what feels like minutes, the heat through your veins, the tension and shakes, the suffocating feeling of your moans barricaded behind Leto’s palm, as if trapping all the noise inside of you is keeping your pleasure from spilling out at the same time and instead you have to take the force of it in little sips, prolonging the whole experience, thrust by measured thrust.

Leto lets go and cums the moment you start to sag under him, having sufficiently fucked you through the waves of your pleasure. He pushes deep inside of you and kisses your trembling lips, his own mouth beginning to stutter with satisfaction. His eyelids flutter a bit and everything from his breathing to the relaxing of his brow and shoulders reads like utter blissful relief. You kiss him on the warming pink apples of his bearded cheek.

Leto rolls over, taking you with him to rest comfortably on his chest. He kisses your fingertips tiredly and you marvel at his beauty from the pillow of his chest, from his hawklike angular face to the sturdiness of his body under your own.

He scratches and strokes your back as you nuzzle into him, kissing his warm, slightly perspiring neck, and sucking little marks where no one but you will see. Your hand rests comfortably on his softening, sticky cock. You curl and unfurl your fingers, gently stroking his sac. You suck a little mark in the valley of his chest and squeeze your hand a little more forcefully around him, earning a rumble from the chest under your lips.

“You’re still so needy, even after I just fucked you.”

His voice is deeper than usual. You prop your chin on his chest to gaze into his black glittering eyes. You are needy for him. You can’t deny it, there’d be no point. But that’s why you work, isn’t it? You need him and he needs to be needed. He relies on your reliance as much as you rely on, well, him. You’re half fucking tempted to trade in your California King for a twin bed the second you get home, because this has just been utter heaven being wrapped up in him like this. There’s no space on earth small enough to accommodate the amount of space that you don’t want in between the two of you.

You scoot yourself even closer to him, he welcomes the intrusion, grabbing your hips like he dares you to try and leave his embrace.

“Yes, Leto. I always need you.”

And he can’t fuck the neediness out of you, but he can sure try.

End

[fayromance]

I don't think I've shared this fun fact about the development of this fanart I've commissioned here before 💙❄

Sooooo... here it comes

The cute snow houses they're making are actually not random! I asked the artist to make them look like her and his respective houses in that village 🏠🌨 I headcanon the whole thing was Lada's idea

The end result turned out to be so cute 🥹🩷

Please, ignore the fact that her house is so much bigger and nicer than his and it can come off as her bragging about her place to him 🫣😅 (also, does anyone know if class stratification and wealth gap are huge problems in that village as well?)

Source

PS My friend jokes that they're practicing for the day they'll have to rebuild the actual houses 😃 (after Lada's esoteric slavic bimbo phase reaches its peak and she burns down the whole village like in that dream 😵‍💫🔥)

[sempsimps]

Gregory Violet head cannons + NSFW

Season 4 of black butler has me thinking about a certain emo (Gregory not ceil but check out my friend @serve-corps if your into that) but like omfg he's so fine what for and like man wears lipstick I just he's so adorable I've never wanted to own the manga more in my life he's so- I should stop but like aaaaaa so this is head cannons mixed with actual cannon that was on the fandom wiki so that's fun I was thinking of writing a full story later but for now....

this is head cannons, and at the bottom, I'll have a warning for my nsfw thoughts. lol, just remember you're responsible for your Internet consumption, but before i get into this, it's all my opinions. Don't take it as gospel or anything like that, im having fun, alright? okay then.

Little head cannons

-he likes poetry. He gives that vibe like come on...(literally an hour later) Okay, so like, just seen a manga page of him drawing a jabberwocky around ceil like a sleep paralysis demon. a little back story on this particular poem is "a nonsensical poem about the killing of the jabberwocky" in 1871, apparently. this is very relatable to ceil and Gregory alike and like Google it for real (so like I was completely right about that and I didn't even know)

he smells like a mix of charcoal and acrylic paint like dusty but kinda nice, ya know (i go back to this further down)

-why dose he seem like he has autism, i cant explain it but, i have it to, so I'm not trying to be rude, but the bowtie he wears is like a normal tie but looser and nicer. and i hate ties, so i feel that in my soul. he also seems like he wouldn't like synthetic material idfk. also social situations suck, his voice is mostly monotone and quite, its not the typical "not understanding cues or not getting jokes" but its more like a social anxiety thing, and that's usually diagnosed with autism i think? (I'm not a doctor i don't really know. Maybe I'm projecting here a little)

-he's like defo bi or pan or perhaps an ace group. I'm not that educated on that lgbtq+ aspect apologies but that's the vibe (again, that's my opinion)

Dating head cannons male or female [brackets if pointed to someone with tits lol]

-bones. Need I say more? I like bones and rocks soooo be like, otters give him a bone (not like that-) or rocks he strikes me as a rock guy like smooth ones. idk how, but just get one he deserves it.

-painting dates if you struggle, he can easily guide you through it, his hand gently moving to help you use the right brush stroke. he's clearly more skilled in pencil/charcoal works, though we haven't seen much else [that takes skill and I take art like damn that's difficult]

-So apparently the sun and dancing makes him dizzy (it was on the fandom wiki) so definitely have water on hand and well he doesn't seem like the type to like anything plain becuse of the drink mixing so water is a no go to boring and i get that so grab one of those ball tea infusers and make flavoured water he can put the flavours in it like idk lemon slices and let it sit in the water maybe add suger (wait thats just flat lemonade lol whatever I'm a genius ik don't flatter me)

-stolen hoodie? Nah, stollen emo robe looking ass. it seems everyone in purple house has one, and well, yall could swap, or ya know, just wear his. if he has another obvious man is never seen without it, it could be a comfort for him. but like, he seems like he would have a bigger one, and it would smell so nice like charcoal and acrylic paint (that i mentioned earlier). Don't question it, but you can smell that, right? but there's a hint of passion fruit becuse he's trying for you (aw how cute) you can not tell me he doesn't like perfume and like its either passion fruit or cola adjacent like i know it probably wasn't around at the time but like you can see it (maybe i based this on a meme i found but shush)

-you paint each others nails need i say more? and even if you dont like/want to, he would just like to take time off with you to do his own or you do his. oh my god, I just remembered he wears eyeliner the same thing, but he likes you doing it. For some reason, you're better at it, and he doesn't want panda eyes.

-sneaking out at late to hide behind the boarding house, to just chill or chat, looking at the stars. It's a nice area, but yall gotta dodge the house master most of the time. Still, a little thrill never hurt nobody, just maybe given a Y or two if you're caught.

-hiding in your shoulder when the sun or people get too much to deal with. (I feel that so much)

-Gregory is a mix when it comes to pda. Overall, he doesn't like it could be a little overwhelming for him, but when yall with the other prefects, he might hold your hand, he's trying, and we love him for it.

-Gregory seems to observe his friends a lot, and so i think he truly values any relationships he has with anyone. on a whole, he usually draws people that are around him, like ceil, and i think i seen one of Lawrence. (idk i don't have the manga) so i think he would have a lot of sketches of you, be it in his work as doodles, or fully fledge charcoal drawings, maybe even a painting. but he values and enjoys being with you a lot.

-little snacks like fruit and chocolate almost like a picnic in the swan gazebo, but ya know not sharing with everyone unless Gregory wants to, also the fact your with the others in the swan gazebo is becuse, 1 your allowed to be there they've invited others before, 2 you get along with the prefects and drudges and they really don't care, 3 your either his drudge or the first two already applied before hand so you both seen no point in doing that.

okay, so i can't think of anything else wholesome to put down, and i just can't stop thinking, so now this is the warning I REPEAT NSFW BEOYNED THIS POINT!! ALSO HE IS 18-19 ACORDING TO GOOGLE

NSFW head cannons

- some general things, he's a switch or power bottom idk but i can see it so much he prefers you on top, though

-favourite body part would be chest. tits or not [but defo would love them so much like a stress toy] or the space between shoulder and neck, to hide in and bite....(he is a wolf lmao)

-right, so first off lipstick. oh my god... imagining it smeared in places and having prominent marks on your body made by him, like hickeys but removable. and like after he gives head, it would get so messed up on his face or you and just kissing him with it like that, getting some on your lips... (jesus, i need to touch grass)

-he likes art obviously, and well going back to the lipstick and hickeys, he wants to see what colour they turn, your like a brand new canvas just begging to be painted on by him, and honestly vice versa he's too pretty not to mark up..... (no comment)

-this is an all boys school they most likely don't have sex ed here and so you would have to teach him what to do but once he knows it kinda clicks right ya know [another reason i think he would just love titties becuse he wants to learn and i mean like he would get kinda fascinated with them] also he would be really sensitive in general and that's a great advantage to top (but hey you didnt hear that from me 0^0)

okay then that was that and ive run out of ideas now and i need to get this out of me ive got like 2 more things to write about this emo becuse i love and relate to him so much anyway hope that was good i try to be accurate even though this is head cannons and not real at all im still trying to be in character sorry if my writing sucks :)

[lokislytherin]

NOW I SEE DAYLIGHT (and i can never walk away)

tags: lookism, jaeseok, alpha!jay x beta!dan, older dan, falling in love, pining, crush, childhood friends, age gap, heat/rut, obsessed younger top oblivious older bottom

summary:

"kitae-yah, your little brother's name is jaeyeol, right?"

jaeyeol gazes up at the boy his older brother had brought home, the boy looking down at him with a sunshine smile and rosy cheeks.

"jaeyeol-ah, you're so cute!"

at the tender age of five, hong jaeyeol falls in love.

a/n: i haven't posted any actual writing here in a long time and i need to transfer this from my work notes app to my private computer acc and what other way to do that than tossing all of it here? anyway enjoy!

on the third of october, hong kitae turns eleven, and for the first time, with his father's permission, he hosts a birthday party. he brings all his closest friends over - jang udong, baek hangyeol, lee jihoon, and his best friend, park hyungseok.

jaeyeol peeks out of his room, curious, but too scared to even walk over to say hello. "that's my little brother," kitae-hyung says, pointing to jaeyeol, "we can just leave him. he can entertain himself."

most of the boys offer him polite nods, except lee jihoon, who squints at him suspiciously, and park hyungseok, who waves with a bright smile that makes jaeyeol feel all warm and tingly inside.

jaeyeol retreats into his room and slams the door shut. the warmth inside him makes him feel like he'd just drank hot chocolate, but his throat is dry. he's not entirely sure what's going on, but he's scared, he doesn't like it.

he reads quietly as the older boys play rambunctiously outside in the living room. he reads through two books, gets bored, and just sits there by the windowside, watching the birds chirp.

he jumps when kitae-hyung kicks the door open. "you want cake?"

what cake?

"chocolate, you know it's my favorite."

here's a secret - jaeyeol doesn't really like chocolate. but he likes his brother, who is his closest friend, so he nods.

kitae-hyung lets jaeyeol sit with his friends, and jaeyeol sits himself down criss-cross-apple-sauce on the couch next to park hyungseok. hyungseok is on the chubbier side, unlike jaeyeol who's always been told to eat more because he's too thin, but he has kind eyes behind his thick glasses. he's already halfway through his cake, savouring it with a blissful smile.

"he's already so fat, he doesn't need the bigger slice," complains seongeun. 

jaeyeol glares at him as hard as he can through his bangs.

"what can i say," murmurs hyungseok, a little bit sadly, "i like cake, but it's expensive, so i don't get to eat it a lot."

when seongeun walks past to get a tissue, jaeyeol kicks him and makes it look like an accident.

kitae-hyung gives jaeyeol a little slice of cake to eat. there are no chocolate shavings, unlike everybody else's. jaeyeol is surprised - he didn't think kitae knew he didn't like chocolate. most of the time, kitae-hyung acts like jaeyeol is an annoying little bug that found its way into his house.

jaeyeol eats in careful little nibbles. he doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of his brother's friends, after all, even if they're too noisy and some of them are a bit mean.

"kitae-yah, your little brother's name is jaeyeol, right?"

jaeyeol gazes up at hyungseok curiously. hyungseok beams down at him, sunshine with rosy cheeks. 

"jaeyeol-ah, you're so cute! you eat like a little hamster, hehe~"

jaeyeol giggles when hyungseok ruffles his hair. hyungseok is much nicer than kitae-hyung. jaeyeol hopes hyungseok will come around again.

hyungseok visits for playdates a few times, sometimes with the other boys, sometimes by himself. the butler and the maids adore him - he's so well-mannered, so respectful, responsible enough to clean up after himself. even jaeyeol's father thinks he's been raised well. 

sometimes, he comes over to help babysit baby jaehye too, since the maids need a break from looking after a wailing infant (read: literal demon in disguise), and jaehye seems to like hyungseok an awful lot. she'll climb onto his lap and hold his fingers and refuse to let go, and jaeyeol wishes he was young enough to do the same without it looking odd. 

it feels strange for jaeyeol to be fighting his little sister for his older brother's best friend's attention, but the hongs have never really been a normal family. 

jaeyeol finds out not long later that hyungseok is poor.

kitae-hyung decides to host hyungseok's twelfth birthday at their house, since it's spacious enough for everyone hyungseok wants to invite. hyungseok tries to reject kitae-hyung's offer, but the two hong brothers gaze at him pleadingly until he crumbles.

"it's like you guys want a birthday party more than me," grumbles hyungseok half-heartedly, "isn't it almost jaeyeolie's birthday soon anyway?"

"i just want my best friend to have a nice birthday!" kitae-hyung says. neither of the two brothers mention that jaeyeol doesn't have any friends to invite to a birthday party, which is why the hong mansion has only had one birthday party since kitae-hyung's last one. 

jaeyeol asks one of the older maids to teach him how to knit, and for the two weeks before hyungseok's birthday, he shuts himself away in his room, concentrating hard so he can make row after row of stitches. he pricks himself a few times, but it's worth it, because he now has a completed scarf that looks relatively good, considering he only just learned to knit. it's a creamy white color, and jaeyeol thinks it'll look good on hyungseok.

he keeps it safe until the day of hyungseok's birthday, and when hyungseok finally arrives - yes, jaeyeol was waiting by the door - he instantly shoves the scarf into hyungseok's arms.

"oh!" 

hyungseok fumbles with it a little, almost drops it, and their fingers brush when jaeyeol catches the trailing ends of it and hands it back to hyungseok. jaeyeol flushes immediately, pulling his hand away because it tingles where he's been touched.

hyungseok doesn't seem to notice, instead cooing over the scarf. he wraps it around his neck, beaming. "thank you, jaeyeolie-ah, it's beautiful."