#its a mess down there.
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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*throws violently* happy K anniversary to my favorite game that hasn't come out yet!
#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDHNDNSNDBXNXDNDND#its done!FUCK!!!!#24hrs and 22 mins later....hands shaking...tummy hurting... but done!!....FUC-!#I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!*implodes and dies*#FUCK!#pls....quick...someone break down and analyze the composition and shit so it can all be worth..jk...dont worry about that bc i messed it up!#touchstarved art#touchstarved game#touchstarved fanart#ais#kuras#vere#leander#mhin#ais touchstarved#kuras touchstarved#touchstarved leander#touchstarved mhin#touchstarved vere#gallery
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Hey did you know you got mention in RyeToast's Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Podcast?
The one about the timeline, in the michael section
JAWDROP… I’m so flattered actually
#ask reply#ITS SO CRAZY anytime mentions me in this fandom like how do you know me#ITS EASY to forget that people actually see and enjoy these comics#IM GLAD THEY LIKE my post scooped Michael design#WHICH btw i actually do believe Michael could be fully healed too#like remnant can just heal people and we even see it heal Michael instantly#in the walking down the street minigame#I mostly draw purple Michael cause it’s a fun design BAHA#I love messing with the zombie concept#love this I feel so honoured#so fearful to be known though too
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since layer 7 dropped you can send literally any enemy to go kill something wicked repeatedly & v2 being the one to do that is just really funny to me
#ultrakill#something wicked#v1#v2#its gonna fucking KILL YOU!!!!#it literally circles around them like it does v1 and its really funny to me. like Really funny#you can hear something wicked start hissing as v2 hunts it down#literally almost got me when i was camping out in the terminal room but v2 saved me.........#very fun to mess with#minos was funnier but much worse#couldnt even figure out where they went i could just hear him going DIE and slamming into the ground before something wicked started making#-noises again and teleporting#i stand by something wicked being the ONLY thing v1 is afraid of#because me too. honestly#gen art
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Maybe i SHOULD draft out my ‘Clark is a SuperPlant’ propaganda post
#chattin#due to. recent tags that resonated w me#im already someone that loathes the ‘theyre completely alien AND they conveniently look AND function exactly the same as a human’ trope#esp when they have the nerve to make them PROCREATE w humans wo any defects whatsoever#ur lying ur unimaginative u suck !!!!#so my compromise is always like#fine. the point is that they have to blend in very well. i will concede on that front#but god as my witness i will make him so fucked up internally.#u should xray him and see a fucking mess of organs pumping in bizarre places#things that let him see things w a microscopic lens#things that let him exist in a vacuum bc he doesnt need to Breathe#u should get him in a red sun room and realize hes still able to exist unharmed in a vacumm and go hey man. what the fuck .#going to reach max tags bc i never seem to behave myself no matter what im yelling about#i need bruce to sit down and finally read whatever kryptonian text is floating around#and realize clark- despite his mammalian appearance- is far more linked to plants than anything else#a plant w TEETH and EYES and somehow became a predator instead of staying as a plant#HOWWW did u evolve into what u are now? what did ur ancestors look like??? a daisy???#if u look at any kryptonian species youd see that all of them behave like clark- like they all evolved in a similar way#saw a post (i GOTTA find it again) that said that clark is brownskinned which seems a little silly when u compare it to human melanin#but that sunlight makes for a healthy kryptonian and their skin will show it#and paleskinned kryptonians are seeking out more sun and starving for it. like. ouuuu.#i wont add that to my own hcs but its that kinda shit i love sooo much#get so caught up on trying to make him human in ur eyes that u end up misunderstanding him entirely#love him#xenobio#for tagging
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i might have been inspired to write some jealous!dean over sambrady because of @lambmotifz (hope its ok to tag you friend!) who opened my eyes to the concept here's a super rough sneak peak, hoping the full polished thing comes out this week pray for me
“Did Sammy not tell you anything about his time in college?”
“Don’t call him that.”
“Oh, but he loves it,” Brady says with a big cocky smile. “You know, he can hold on for hours. It’s kind of impressive. The second you call him Sammy, though, he comes untouched.”
That freezes Dean on the spot. His hand stops midway through the blade. His jaw tenses. And after a few seconds he slowly lifts his eyes up to the demon scum, his eyes hard against Brady’s playful ones.
Dean’s voice is rougher than he ever heard himself when he barks, “What?”
“I’m telling you, it’s like a trigger. Wonder why he likes it so much.” The smile grows bigger.
Dean straightens up, his grip on the handle that much tighter. “You’re a liar.”
The scumbag laughs. Loud. “Let me tell you something about your baby brother.” Brady’s eyes shine bright, as Dean feels his vision go darker. “He likes it rough.” Dean’s breath stops altogether. “All that size of his and what he really likes is to beg for it.” Dean’s closer. He doesn't feel in control of his legs anymore. “He likes to—”
The next thing he knows, the knife is all the way deep in Brady’s thigh. The motherfucker yells out, but it's brief. The sound soon morphs out to a hysterical laugh. “Before I introduced him to that blonde bitch, I had him on his back and on his knees—”
The blade slides down to the knee, carving out flesh, sliding against bone, and the groan the demon lets out is almost the best thing Dean’s has ever heard.
“Shut the fuck up,” it comes as a snarl, from so deep within, Dean trembles with it.
“He should’ve noticed,” Brady’s voice is high and he's talking a mile a minute. He wants Dean to hear this. Before this is over. “I mean, it was all good and sweet with Brady but when I took over? Guess he really liked the change, he couldn’t even think straight the first night I—”
Dean gets the blade out of the leg and into Brady’s mouth, knocking a few teeth out of the way, and opening the way to his neck. Brady’s wide eyes stare up at him, the wet grunts around the blade having Dean almost smile, but it’s not enough for it. The fucker could die a thousand deaths and it’s never going to be enough. “I said— shut the fuck up.”
#posting to see if i can get the inspiration to finish it this week#got 2k words out but its a mess#*with tears running down my face* i love being a writer#anyways#hot hot concept#wincest#writing tag
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ok but the real tragedy of assassin's creed will always be the spiralling domino effect that underlies the series and that every protagonist is fundamentally just a pawn in a bigger game they'll never see and that they'll never be able to change because they are just a single piece of a puzzle which also means that every single tragedy that had happened to them doesn't matter to the predetermind bigger picture because it always had to happen the trauma was just collateral you can't escape it. altair watched his family die just so he could pass on a key. ezio's watched his family die so he could deliver one message that wasn't even meant for him. kassandra watched centuries rise and pass and empires crumble because she was only needed to pass on the staff to someone else.
#assassin's creed#i get back into assassin's creed#i start having a existential crisis#nothing messed me up more than the entirety of assassin's creed 2 happening because the alien gid people had one short message for desmond#and then they were done with ezio the universe was done with him he wasn't needed anymore he just decided to stick around anyway#or eivor going to that cave in America but refusing to go any further because she KNOWS deep down its just for somebody else
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Some process gifs of my paintings this year!
#the art of a lemon wedge#art process#man#i love painting#moat of my focus on these this year have just been committing to loosening up#vary my strokes and just not over working a painting?#most of that just means trying to keep as much of that first painting pass#since its has the biggest strokes and most energy when i lay it down#and also#NO ZOOMING IN#AHHHH#all this is painted with my seeing the entire piece and just working from big to medium then small#which is good cause u can keep track of details and what youve missed but it also feels like a huge mess for so long#at times its hard to see where ur even going#my favorite piece i think might be my otacon one#i didnt include him in here just cause that piece is like....3 layers?#it very much feels like those how to books that are like. circle. now draw the entire owl#BUT thats literally how i figured it out#1. base 2. simple clean 3. fine line detail#i do eventually want to do a full recording but the thing is#i just dont want to ......#ahaha#but i do#its just the idea of constantly being watched you know?#despite me wanting to share it....#anyways#TO NEXT YEAR#wonder what ill make#:D
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You know Tamlin doesn’t get enough credit. He tried to change for the better now that he understood how he was unintentionally treating Feyre. He listened and even when it was tough gave her space. He didn’t even try to force her into being intimate when she was back at the manor.
And (the important part I swear to God) after everything Feyre did to him, after losing everything, when he saw Rhysand dead he brought him back to life and told Feyre he wished for her to be happy. I bet everything that if put in that same situation that Rhysand wouldn’t do the same.
Tamlin had every reason not to. To leave Rhysand and Feyre there or even kill her then and there. He had literally nothing to lose if attacked for his actions. But he didn’t. And this will always be my main reasons why I prefer Tamlin instead of Rhysand.
#random thoughts#acotar#sjm critical#anti rhysand#tamlin#pro tamlin#feyre archeron#anti feysand#he may have messed up but he was never intentionally cruel#but rhys could literally burn down a city and somebody would say “it’s like when tamlin “ no its not
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i dislike them...
#persona 3#llemon art#p3 reload#persona 3 reload#shinjiro aragaki#akishinji#akihiko sanada#you can trust me with your favorite characters#i draw them and feel joy and rage bc im mentally ill#i wish gay people were real#ive been messing with brush settings#if i could make myself keychains of them id be far too powerful#if i think too hard about them i break down horribly#akishinji... you ruin my life....#its almost my birthday#shoot the chef in the skull 15 times
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#danny phantom#dp#danny phantom fanart#dp fanart#danny fenton#medibang#practice#art practice#a piece i forgot to post#did it the other day#half as practice for a different angle#half for warm up#think the colors and lighting are fun on this one#loving messing around with that kinda ztuff#hope to do it more tbh#oh yeah also#i was too lazy to do them but he was originally looking at the stars#you know#cause its danny#buttttt i knew id end up trying to make the constalations and all that too realist#so i decided not to do them#didnt want to go down that path#lmao#anyways#going to bed now#😗✌️#cool color palette#cool colors
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teen wolf meme: [2/2] locations -> the hale house
I've been having dreams. Dreams, or nightmares? Nightmares... About a fire. It's this-this house, and I can hear screaming-
#teen wolf#peter hale#derek hale#scott mccall#allison argent#jackson whittemore#chris argent#lydia martin#twedit#twgifs#mine#my gifs#twmeme#LETSGO HAUNTED HOUSE#also jeff davies i noticed that the architecture of the house doesn't match like at all when it's a burned down husk and the version peter#shows lydia of before#don't think i didn't#also there's a like 1 second clip in co-captain of one of the perpetrators of the fire pouring gasoline on the house and it again looks#nothing like what peter showed lydia#so either peter lies about the weirdest things (he does) or jeff davies doesn't care about continuity (he doesn't)#anyways it's one of those inconsistencies in the show i've decided to read as a powerful metaphor instead#the fire of the hale house was literally so traumatic not only to the people who inhabitet it but also to the house itself as its own agent#that it forces the house to literally change its outwardly appearance#also slightly less fun metaphor to read into the inconsistency is simply that peter's recollection of the events leading up to the fire is#so messed up that he doesn't even remember what his own house the house he had lived in his whole life actually looked like anymore
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sorry im not drawing much but much but here, i did this months ago for an event :) (it was supposed to have an angel duo prequel but i never did it sorry 🧍♂️)
#fun fact idk if its visible the tea is from niki's bakery and she was the one to make it. special#also idk if its understandable but theres like a big attack going on while techno is kidnapping him#several different villains start attacking the city in different places and shit#which is why all the bangs and wee woo wee woo start appearing very quietly#its quiet bc wil's senses are already messed up#dsmp#dsmp fanart#technoblade fanart#wilbur soot fanart#cwilbur#ctechnoblade#c!wilbur#c!techno#ctechno#idk how to tag this but these are the CHARACTERS not the CCs#also did this like. months ago#and everything went down as i was finishing it which kinda sucks#bc i love this comic really#i was very anxious to post this tbh#my art#sbi#dark sbi#twins duo#twins duo fanart#sbi fanart#comic
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I fully believe Evbo saw everyone shipping his character in parkour civilization with Seawatt, so he decided to make pvp!Evbo the most aggressively straight guy ever
#sparrow speaks#slash silly#its just like its been five secs calm down evbo I dont think shes into you :sob:#pvp civilization#this is lighthearted I will be shipping him w/zam's chaarcter no matter what happens#pvp civ#evbo pvpciv#oh no. Why are the tags here such a mess#pvp civ evbo#pvp civilization evbo#why are there 3 character tags ???
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okay heres some things about houses childhood i think about
theres clearly a few dynamics here
-he hates his father, resents the abuse, recognizes that bad things were done to him
-probably when he was very young, he didnt understand why bad things happened to him, was not intentionally A Bad Kid
-because he surmised his dad was not his dad at 12 i assume the abuse started from a young age.
-house mentions ice baths and sleeping outside, but he also mentions his father not speaking to him for months at a time, which is interesting to me. when house tries to qualify the severity of abuse to eve he says "not as bad as your [trauma] if how your acting about it shows how bad it is." which to me is pretty noncommittal. was he doing that bc he was still kind of lying, trying to get info out of her? if not, it seems like house is actually unsure of how to qualify his own abuse, which would lead me to believe it was largely emotional and verbal. although i suspect that his father did physically abuse him at times, to me this exchange implies that house thinks the ice baths and sleeping outside were the worse of it (interestingly both acting on his whole body and ability to regulate temperature)
-at some point he acts out intentionally, instead of unintentionally, bc his father is Wrong and shouldnt be abusing house in these ways(the fact that the thing he wanted to hear from his father was "you were right, you did the right thing" 😭😭)
-this leads to worse and more cruel punishments, which house both detests and wants to avoid repeating. furthering his resentment, but reinforcing his fathers authority
- despite his knowledge that his father is wrong, his dad claims to do these acts out of love, to teach dicipline, to toughen him up. (in this way his struggle with god is really an allegory of his father: is it better he hates me (i deserve pain) or loves me (i dont deserve pain) when he does awful things to me? or is it better for him to not exist at all (things just happen, there is no deserving)?
-in my perspective, especially as house got older, into his teens, he was actually probably really "well behaved" finally smart enough to fake social cues and swallow his pride so that his father wouldnt hit him or what have you (which is why he regresses to a child often as an adult, because he was not allowed those things)
its interesting to me, to see how all of houses character is shaped around the shadow of his father. the parts where he is similar: rigid, principled, yell-y, and where he is intentionally different: encourages independent thinking, respects challenges to his authority (only when he has authority lmao that all falls apart when people take his power(read:agency) away, his biggest trigger)
and none of this even gets into his mother, blythe (a word which means both happiness and bland disintrest) which is a whole nother can of worms. the fact that at the funeral she said that "the war was over" (which implied that no matter how much house actually listened to his father, there was still a part of him that couldnt help but to point out the logical issues, and therefore continued abuse)
lastlly, she had said that john loved him. which i think house believes to be true. especially when he tries to talk to his dead father in season 6, he says "i think i focus on the wrong things," implying that he did want to find some peace with that relationship, and that he wanted his fathers love, despite it being illogical, painful and confusing.
that he was willing to look past the abuse was shocking to me, because house is right his father shouldnt of abused him. but it was coming from a place of love, however ill concieved.
this is as close as we get to house praying to god. to admit that the suffering of life cannot be defied or denied, and grasp for the love nestled in between all the pain, however flawed, wrong, or illogical.
in a lot of ways, his story is so much about houses struggle with the body, its agency, its disability, its doom. he literally becomes a doctor to grasp with this ideologically (at times paradoxically) instead of physics because his question isnt really about existance in general
its about why he exists in the broken, painful way he does. and at the end of it, he sets down his need for an answer, righteousness, and admits that despite it all, his body cant help but love. and that love is the death of him. the end of his suffering.
#ok this is kinda a mess sorry but i just needed to ramble about houses dad#cw child abuse#house md#gregory house#john house#its like the episode where he gets shot and his subconscious says “i dont understand why youd want to live”#like house is miserable logically. but his body despite all its pain wants to live#and house doesn't understand why#its love!!!!#and he doesnt know how to love without destroying it#its this doom that follows him the whole show#his addiction even. like he knows deep down what the answer should be but his body cant do it#and his inability to connect to people is what dooms him#and he knows this deep down and CANNOT do anything its like a metaphor for his disability or vis versa#and once he accepts that Fate and the fact that it Dooms Him To Die he is finally free#to love in all its fullness imperfection and tragedy
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After years, I'm finally getting down the design for one of my many Flight Rising dragons, BU
He's an absolute charmer and also wanted in all of Lightning flight for starting a workers' riot at the factory he used to work at. Today he lives in Fire flight, adopted by a family of blacksmiths and using his charm on customers instead (he's not allowed to work the forge. His factory work has left him with chronic health issues and most days he wears a back brace to help deal with some of it)
#trying to do one doodle a week to get back into drawing bc i really really miss it#but its become more and more difficult over time as i fell out of practice#even if you dont consider the chronic pain#so! week 1: this guy#traditional art#original art#original character#oc: bu#flight rising#dragons#this is an absolute mess bc my eraser is dying and the paper itself aint great#but the point is that I Managed To Draw!!#he looks like hes leaning forward but this is actually as upright as he can get#just bc of anatomy limitations#he can go down to all sixes if he needs but doesnt like to much#his hands hurt and also get dirty#i need to sort out his shoulders im not super happy with them
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