#its a 4 am phone call
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iftitah · 1 year ago
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everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself
#and its not that they're bad or anything#but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family#its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern#and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code#but still#i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the#wish i was that focused on my relatives#ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse#idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends#but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply#i hate this#do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict#or have i still not learnt to be in the moment#and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up#now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter#frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five#minutes just to get her back to home for nothing#frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar#milne jaana hota hai#etc#but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai#haan for mummy i spent time with her#but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka#that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye#na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi#lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge#why are things this way
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carcarrot · 5 months ago
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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torgawl · 5 months ago
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heart of naberius (which lead rhinedottir to disappear and tell albedo to uncover the truth and meaning of this world, leaving behind one of the last extant manuscripts of the opus magnum) being similar to the chinese name for gnoses, 神之心 "heart of god" cannot be a coincidence, right? skirk also called the gnoses "remains of the third descender", objects of misfortune and referred to their smell as similar to a god's "curse". could the heart of naberius be connected to or be an actual part of the third descender?
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yoshistory · 1 year ago
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i really fuckin hate my current roommate situation for multiple reasons. one of which is due to him deciding to quit her job immediately after i moved down here i had to be the only leaseholder with a secret roommate situation. and now. their gate system is changing and uses an app to open the gate with a verified occupant's phone number. fuuuuck im like banging my head against the wall
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princelink · 1 year ago
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mazojo · 1 year ago
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Me logging into tumblr dot com on July 28th before watching the first episode of Good Omens season 2 was not a good idea for my mental, emotional and overall well being
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guinevereslancelot · 2 years ago
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every day i make plans to chill and have fun when the tasks are complete and every day the tasks take all day
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sucktacular · 2 years ago
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friendly reminder that if you wanna draw you should draw because I wanna see it and reblog it and eat it so it'll be with me forever
you MADE something!!! that straight up DIDNT exist before??? that's so incredibly metal and amazing and sick as fuck im so proud of you
#i dont care you 'skill level' or whatever nonsense#YOU DID THAT!!!#and my god you should be so proud because I am#i should get magnets to print out ppls art and put on my mini mini fridge that only holds like 4 cans of soda#but like esp if youre in you're 20s??? LATE 20'S???? PAST YOUR 20s???? HOLY SHIT IM SOO SO PROUD OF YOU#cuz its so so hard to get yourself to make and create after youre a kid or a teen#esp if you never really fostered that creativity as a young person#like you DID that you mADE that youre so so amazing#this also applies to writing and crafts and anything where you made something#like ive struggled for a long long time to like my art let alone want to make art but listen listen listen#everytime you make something it gets easier to make it again#you dont have to compare yourself you dont have to strive to draw like whoever#the secret is everyone wants their arts to look better or be better or easier even the really really talented professionals#we are learning creatures no one is perfect and its so so beautiful that that is a thing cuz like#i dont want to see beautiful rendered sistene chapel paintings everyday!!!#like theyre great and im in awe but i could be in awe and enjoying art jim bob down the street doodled on a bench#i see my partner doodle in my notebooks when they make phone calls and are on hold and i think its so beautiful#its just shapes but like they were there and they did that and I didnt? its beautiful and fun and reminds me they were there#you are here and im so glad you are because we get to enjoy things and create and love and just exist#life is hard and we created a society that can be so cynical and were so busy all the time#but i love us i love people i want so badly to love us all because we are different and dont always agree but we create and we exist#and i think thats enough at the end of the day. to just exist.#so you made a lil doodle? i want to see it because ive never seen it before and i think its so awesome genuinely that you did that#sucktacular sucks
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pogatog · 2 years ago
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Sometime at work was telling me about his horror podcast to which I said hell yeah that's the kind of horror I like and I have now listened to an episode and unfortunately it bad
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geroya · 2 years ago
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keme my telephone booth girlie my telephone dial up twirl the phone cord girlie i love u so
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nerdie-faerie · 6 months ago
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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1am-s0-veryt1red · 6 months ago
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I have to make one phone call today and I have been putting it off for 5 hours now because I'm dreading it so bad
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infiniteseriesofhalfways · 7 months ago
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ok fine, i guess 4 am haĺf asleep conversations about gender are worth living for
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chipjrwibignaturals · 7 months ago
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ive been not looking forward to going to work and ironically i think it’s because im NOT doing much work. bestie im fucking terminally bored. and when im not it’s just a little 🤏 bit excruciating
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drill-teeth-art · 1 year ago
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Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.
This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.
[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text "Good Bi Gender", the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person's face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: "Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can't call me she/her. And here's why." Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.
Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. "I don't want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon." The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an "X" through it. Text next to it reads: “People don't seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though... Or they think even worse of them than that…”
Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don't like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy... I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I'm still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”
Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It's both! I'm both! They're not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I'm both despite the insistence that I can't be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that's all I will get from most. Because it's "easier". It "makes more sense". To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don't, I will never get to have he.” [The words "she" and "he" are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I'm still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]
Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!
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Dumping the start of the tags here cause tumblr has a tag limit of 30 :/ sorry op
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Okay hold on
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also more things I couldn't fit in. after cuddy bails out choreman chase gets assigned a bunch of clinic hours as Punishment TM. But mom-dad wilson (house is dad-mom) keeps him company till house gets angsty and comes to bail him out pick him up.
More I couldn't fit in at the end so I dumped here outta order:
wilson teahces the ducklings to paint since obvi house passed down his musical talents
rich kid chase got assigned clarinet at age 6. he's ok but has 0 heart. house jokingly points him towards a lyre in a music shop and he takes to it instantly. house go to tease him (baby angel lookin-) but chase looks so overjoyed and he says something like "look just like David played for Saul" so he melts on the spot (and convinces wilson to by him a kinnor so he doesn't know its his idea. he sings like a screeching alterboy tho)
I think cameron can sing but she's quiet and stumbles so she refuses to get formal training. she's tear rendering on a cello tho. surprisingly she can dj like all hell too. she had a wild college life before her 1st husband
foreman can sing smooth as silk. but he can't play an instrument to save his life (no patient for it). his dancing though? stage worthy. can be convinced to show off after a couple drinks.
Obsessed with the whole vibes of early season one of House. The ducklings have the energy of dysfunctional siblings along with their insane Vicodin-addict father. Wilson isn’t shown to have an office yet so he just lingers at House’s side while constantly and giving him fuck-me eyes. Wilson will just sit in on diagnoses and give his advice like he doesn’t have any responsibilities in the world. When the team needs to (illegally) shrink a patient’s tumor so it’s small enough to operate on, Wilson just says “alright” and does it along with Cameron. Chase does a silly American accent to fool a patient’s mother and it WORKS. Foreman is new and already despises everyone. House comments on how fuckable Wilson looks when Wilson is simply wearing a green tie and nice shoes. An old woman says that House has the same bedroom eyes as Ashton Kutcher. At one point the team, House, Wilson, and Cuddy all gather together in the small lab room to discuss a patient and are all basically brushing shoulders. Wilson reads a love poem out loud in the middle of the hospital to House. House eats tomato sauce that the team suspected was killing the patient. Wilson ditches his wife on Christmas Eve to go hang out with House and it shows a montage of them laughing and eating take-out. Cuddy greets House and Wilson by saying “hi, boys” like they’re kids. Foreman and Cameron are tasked to search a patient’s home and Foreman eats the ham he found in their fridge because he was hungry. The first scene with House shows him and Wilson walking down the hallway literally brushing hands and shoulders despite the hallway being huge. One of the first things Wilson does is lie to House. Wilson asks House — who rarely ever takes cases unless he finds them really interesting — to take a case and House just takes it. When asked why it was so easy, House just looks at Wilson with a smirk and says “you know why” and then they both smile at each other. This is all in the span of the first eight episodes.
#cameron watches the met gala with wilson and they make a tradition of judging the Shit outfits together (they both still suck at shopping)!#they still go shopping. but for silly obscure mugs! they make a death match outta it! foreman introduces them to ebay and decimates them!#it gets so bad house inlists amber to take them (wilson + cameron) shopping. somehow he and chase end up tagging along#chase and amber actually slay the house down. they are effective and vicious at shopping.#think crazy rich aunt who shows up once a month for a shopping spree therapy ses. and bad bitchin life advice. then you never see her again#later that night chase and foreman go out drinking. they have a bro moment get robbed and some how they're the ones who end up in jail#(probably for drunkenly disorder)#they get their phone call and chase is like noooo i cant tell mom and dad theylll be sooo disappointed in me :( (house is not)#foreman is like i gotchu bro and calls up cuddy at like 5 am. she brings rachel with her cause she cant be left alone yet#(its fine tho she was already up. kids r just Like That) she shows up eyebrow raised like 'Boys'.#foreman the lil shit points at chase straight face and says it was all his idea. his fault. tried to stop him but nooo he wouldnt listen 🙄#and since foreman is (canonically) cuddy's favourite she believes him.#thats how foreman gets brotherly revenge for chase always throwin the rest of the team under the bus and bein a lil snitch (affectionate)#chase regrets not calling cameron and facing her moral wrath for all of 5 mins. then they get to cuddys car#and chase lights up like a stage 4 cancer patient in a ct scan. cause rachel is in the car. and rachel ADORES foreman. finds him facinating#he's her new teddy. she asks him every question under the sun + leaves him covered in Child Stickiness. chase thinks this is an Opportunity#but plot twist foreman is great with kids. he listens and answers and gives fun neuro facts. rach makes the 😮 face kids make till shes 13.#she gets in trouble @school for diagnosing kids w/ stuff (mostly true) but her teacher is so confused about this kids family she just 👋#foreman always makes time for Rachel between cases holidays etc. and bring your kid to work day is right after her birthday.#so she goes every year spends the day in the teams or wilson's office. sitting in foremans lap until she just kicks him off and steals it.#also she has a height chart in foreman's Dark Shadowy Corner that she updates every year and everybody must Write A Note every year#on the flip side she hits chameron with the double 'why are you both blonde. sad.' and they both die of humiliation.#everyone thinks rachel'll take after foreman when she shows interest in medicine. she does. in a way. she goes into psychology :)#when she announces this (either in the clinic or in an ambulance over some guy who collapsed) house (who with wilson + cuddy coparent rach)#has what'll become known as The Great House Swoon of 2026 when rachel hits 18 yes i did math. he's fine tho. what's the logic behind this?#what season is it in? shhh no :) as a gift 4 college wilson gives rachel the dime she swallowed as a baby gold plated on a chain cause well#house md#gay dads hilson#h/w/c#the og ducklings
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