#its a 4 am phone call
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everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself
#and its not that they're bad or anything#but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family#its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern#and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code#but still#i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the#wish i was that focused on my relatives#ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse#idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends#but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply#i hate this#do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict#or have i still not learnt to be in the moment#and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up#now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter#frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five#minutes just to get her back to home for nothing#frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar#milne jaana hota hai#etc#but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai#haan for mummy i spent time with her#but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka#that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye#na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi#lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge#why are things this way
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heart of naberius (which lead rhinedottir to disappear and tell albedo to uncover the truth and meaning of this world, leaving behind one of the last extant manuscripts of the opus magnum) being similar to the chinese name for gnoses, 神之心 "heart of god" cannot be a coincidence, right? skirk also called the gnoses "remains of the third descender", objects of misfortune and referred to their smell as similar to a god's "curse". could the heart of naberius be connected to or be an actual part of the third descender?
#i'm more curious about how it ties with the magnum opus. gnosis and descenders being alike and aether being the name of an element#alchemy and its stages analagous to jungian psychology and the holy blade used for a ritual of piercing of the ego#the sword being able to undo merged wills (!!! big concept in teyvat)#kaeya's grandfather's sword#the overlap between the location the sword was found and the place referred by ann in the narzissenkreuz quest#the similarities of kaeya's grandfather's journey and the traveler's#also besides the 4 original alchemy stages there's others#one of them being called peacock's tail...#why would you do this to me when kaeya exists 😂#it's almost 3 am why am i thinking of this and writing twitter threads#get a hyperfixation in genshin lore it will be fun they said#< nobody said but my brain still did it and now i fill notebooks with stupid notes about pixels on my phone 😭#and still have shitty memory#i truly admire genshin lore theorists it could never be me with the brain of a fish
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i really fuckin hate my current roommate situation for multiple reasons. one of which is due to him deciding to quit her job immediately after i moved down here i had to be the only leaseholder with a secret roommate situation. and now. their gate system is changing and uses an app to open the gate with a verified occupant's phone number. fuuuuck im like banging my head against the wall
#ordinarily i wouldnt mind a secret roommate situation but its to the point with this guy that i have to handle everything on top of this#and he does not like me all the while. and it sucks so bad#this whole venture down here has been really chaotic and messed up#i cant imagine them ONLY using the app. like. what if my phone dies when im out and i live alone right?#i just gotta call them tomorrow and ask. but it just blows to have to worry about this#in the wake of them deciding to quit his job immediately after i moved in with her#like we talked about them quitting his job before i moved in but i didnt realize it'd be for..... so long. so long.#so long that i had to get us a new apartment that he didnt want to make any input in with#she just wanted me to handle it#and when i broke my foot and was homebound i had to move us both out and repair the previous place up#and after a few months of living here in the new place where we had plans to travel out together and make texas temporary....#she ghosted me for 4 months (WE LIVE TOGETHER?) and then went ''yeah i wasnt being fair to you this isnt working.. -#-i dont like your cats and didn't realize how much i valued living alone''#thanks. im being ditched here. what am i supposed to do now#sorry for always talking about this shit. its my current life situation rn. its not nearly as bad as i've been through but it just sucks
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Me logging into tumblr dot com on July 28th before watching the first episode of Good Omens season 2 was not a good idea for my mental, emotional and overall well being
#and first thing I come across is *that* scene and I have to shut my phone down#like I had to turn it off like I had to stop#I didn’t even go to the tag it was just in my feed and I should have known better but I went to the tag right after and EVERYTHING hurts#no puede estar pasando este sucessooooooo#I call this chapter of my life: pain and suffering. angst era#ALDKWWLLS FUCK ITS 4 AM I WILL NEED TO WATCH OT TOMORROW BUT AT WHAT COST I AM SO😀😀😀😀#mentally not here anymore#good omens
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friendly reminder that if you wanna draw you should draw because I wanna see it and reblog it and eat it so it'll be with me forever
you MADE something!!! that straight up DIDNT exist before??? that's so incredibly metal and amazing and sick as fuck im so proud of you
#i dont care you 'skill level' or whatever nonsense#YOU DID THAT!!!#and my god you should be so proud because I am#i should get magnets to print out ppls art and put on my mini mini fridge that only holds like 4 cans of soda#but like esp if youre in you're 20s??? LATE 20'S???? PAST YOUR 20s???? HOLY SHIT IM SOO SO PROUD OF YOU#cuz its so so hard to get yourself to make and create after youre a kid or a teen#esp if you never really fostered that creativity as a young person#like you DID that you mADE that youre so so amazing#this also applies to writing and crafts and anything where you made something#like ive struggled for a long long time to like my art let alone want to make art but listen listen listen#everytime you make something it gets easier to make it again#you dont have to compare yourself you dont have to strive to draw like whoever#the secret is everyone wants their arts to look better or be better or easier even the really really talented professionals#we are learning creatures no one is perfect and its so so beautiful that that is a thing cuz like#i dont want to see beautiful rendered sistene chapel paintings everyday!!!#like theyre great and im in awe but i could be in awe and enjoying art jim bob down the street doodled on a bench#i see my partner doodle in my notebooks when they make phone calls and are on hold and i think its so beautiful#its just shapes but like they were there and they did that and I didnt? its beautiful and fun and reminds me they were there#you are here and im so glad you are because we get to enjoy things and create and love and just exist#life is hard and we created a society that can be so cynical and were so busy all the time#but i love us i love people i want so badly to love us all because we are different and dont always agree but we create and we exist#and i think thats enough at the end of the day. to just exist.#so you made a lil doodle? i want to see it because ive never seen it before and i think its so awesome genuinely that you did that#sucktacular sucks
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keme my telephone booth girlie my telephone dial up twirl the phone cord girlie i love u so
#☼.txt#silhouette tag#he means SO much to me#first keme post on this new blog#& its a post that has so many layers#thinking about him asking for the other kids phone numbers in his class so he can call them on the landline#& hogging the phone from his sister & oh no gran gran this is ABSOLUTELY not a phone call for u it is for me#bc i am VERY popular duh.#thinking about him flying three four states over getting lost after kya abandons them#& exhausting himself of energy trying to find her & losing all sense of direction stumbling upon diner that#lets him use their phone to call home from across state lines bc what is this kid doing here all alone#thinking about him as an adult doing the same thing but with more sense of direction calling home to let his family know#he's safe he'll be home soon put a pot on for dinner love u <3#thinking other thoughts about kya & her disappearance but its like. 4 am & i dont wanna
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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I have to make one phone call today and I have been putting it off for 5 hours now because I'm dreading it so bad
#i hate this#i hate this i hate this i hate this#its ONE phone call#it shouldnt be that hard#and the woman i talked to last time was nice??#why am i like this#i need to call them before the close at 4 and now its noon and im afraid of calling them because what if everyone is at lunch#I've been sitting at the table doom scrolling because every time i think about calling i get so nervous#i talk to people on the phone for a living making one call shouldnt be that hard#okay im done
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ok fine, i guess 4 am haĺf asleep conversations about gender are worth living for
#almost 4 hour phone call later and i feel wildly different#did not plan on coming out as gender ??? when the call started#not sure i planned on doing that. ever unless necessary#but life sure will throw curveballs#anyway its almost five am i should go to sleep#ks talks
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ive been not looking forward to going to work and ironically i think it’s because im NOT doing much work. bestie im fucking terminally bored. and when im not it’s just a little 🤏 bit excruciating
#we’re mainly trained on most of the tasks of the current receptionist. abt 3/4 thru in her own words#and most of it is just kinda tedious? its not hard#but she’s also not the best at training others and not very computer usage literate#like. im getting it and she’s a lovely person! i just got those background Fatigue Angers#but like a good 40% of like. tester afternoon and today has just been making small talk bc we’re *out of work*#i am going to be taking on more tasks than the previous receptionist BECAUSE my tech skills means i can go faster#but they’re not starting training THOSE until after she leaves next week#and like…….. bestie what the fuck are we gonna fill that week with#i dislike going to work bc i know it’s just gonna be Sitting There for 8 hours and like. i could better do that at home#but i CANT bc. yknow. maintaining a job n shit#and technically even just sitting here i AM doing important work bc i man the phone switchboard and im waiting for calls#anyway. tldr i am NOT getting enough enrichment here i have to be constantly doing Something or i die
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Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.
This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.
[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text "Good Bi Gender", the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person's face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: "Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can't call me she/her. And here's why." Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.
Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. "I don't want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon." The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an "X" through it. Text next to it reads: “People don't seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though... Or they think even worse of them than that…”
Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don't like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy... I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I'm still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”
Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It's both! I'm both! They're not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I'm both despite the insistence that I can't be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that's all I will get from most. Because it's "easier". It "makes more sense". To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don't, I will never get to have he.” [The words "she" and "he" are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I'm still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]
Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!
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Dumping the start of the tags here cause tumblr has a tag limit of 30 :/ sorry op
Okay hold on
also more things I couldn't fit in. after cuddy bails out choreman chase gets assigned a bunch of clinic hours as Punishment TM. But mom-dad wilson (house is dad-mom) keeps him company till house gets angsty and comes to bail him out pick him up.
More I couldn't fit in at the end so I dumped here outta order:
wilson teahces the ducklings to paint since obvi house passed down his musical talents
rich kid chase got assigned clarinet at age 6. he's ok but has 0 heart. house jokingly points him towards a lyre in a music shop and he takes to it instantly. house go to tease him (baby angel lookin-) but chase looks so overjoyed and he says something like "look just like David played for Saul" so he melts on the spot (and convinces wilson to by him a kinnor so he doesn't know its his idea. he sings like a screeching alterboy tho)
I think cameron can sing but she's quiet and stumbles so she refuses to get formal training. she's tear rendering on a cello tho. surprisingly she can dj like all hell too. she had a wild college life before her 1st husband
foreman can sing smooth as silk. but he can't play an instrument to save his life (no patient for it). his dancing though? stage worthy. can be convinced to show off after a couple drinks.
Obsessed with the whole vibes of early season one of House. The ducklings have the energy of dysfunctional siblings along with their insane Vicodin-addict father. Wilson isn’t shown to have an office yet so he just lingers at House’s side while constantly and giving him fuck-me eyes. Wilson will just sit in on diagnoses and give his advice like he doesn’t have any responsibilities in the world. When the team needs to (illegally) shrink a patient’s tumor so it’s small enough to operate on, Wilson just says “alright” and does it along with Cameron. Chase does a silly American accent to fool a patient’s mother and it WORKS. Foreman is new and already despises everyone. House comments on how fuckable Wilson looks when Wilson is simply wearing a green tie and nice shoes. An old woman says that House has the same bedroom eyes as Ashton Kutcher. At one point the team, House, Wilson, and Cuddy all gather together in the small lab room to discuss a patient and are all basically brushing shoulders. Wilson reads a love poem out loud in the middle of the hospital to House. House eats tomato sauce that the team suspected was killing the patient. Wilson ditches his wife on Christmas Eve to go hang out with House and it shows a montage of them laughing and eating take-out. Cuddy greets House and Wilson by saying “hi, boys” like they’re kids. Foreman and Cameron are tasked to search a patient’s home and Foreman eats the ham he found in their fridge because he was hungry. The first scene with House shows him and Wilson walking down the hallway literally brushing hands and shoulders despite the hallway being huge. One of the first things Wilson does is lie to House. Wilson asks House — who rarely ever takes cases unless he finds them really interesting — to take a case and House just takes it. When asked why it was so easy, House just looks at Wilson with a smirk and says “you know why” and then they both smile at each other. This is all in the span of the first eight episodes.
#cameron watches the met gala with wilson and they make a tradition of judging the Shit outfits together (they both still suck at shopping)!#they still go shopping. but for silly obscure mugs! they make a death match outta it! foreman introduces them to ebay and decimates them!#it gets so bad house inlists amber to take them (wilson + cameron) shopping. somehow he and chase end up tagging along#chase and amber actually slay the house down. they are effective and vicious at shopping.#think crazy rich aunt who shows up once a month for a shopping spree therapy ses. and bad bitchin life advice. then you never see her again#later that night chase and foreman go out drinking. they have a bro moment get robbed and some how they're the ones who end up in jail#(probably for drunkenly disorder)#they get their phone call and chase is like noooo i cant tell mom and dad theylll be sooo disappointed in me :( (house is not)#foreman is like i gotchu bro and calls up cuddy at like 5 am. she brings rachel with her cause she cant be left alone yet#(its fine tho she was already up. kids r just Like That) she shows up eyebrow raised like 'Boys'.#foreman the lil shit points at chase straight face and says it was all his idea. his fault. tried to stop him but nooo he wouldnt listen 🙄#and since foreman is (canonically) cuddy's favourite she believes him.#thats how foreman gets brotherly revenge for chase always throwin the rest of the team under the bus and bein a lil snitch (affectionate)#chase regrets not calling cameron and facing her moral wrath for all of 5 mins. then they get to cuddys car#and chase lights up like a stage 4 cancer patient in a ct scan. cause rachel is in the car. and rachel ADORES foreman. finds him facinating#he's her new teddy. she asks him every question under the sun + leaves him covered in Child Stickiness. chase thinks this is an Opportunity#but plot twist foreman is great with kids. he listens and answers and gives fun neuro facts. rach makes the 😮 face kids make till shes 13.#she gets in trouble @school for diagnosing kids w/ stuff (mostly true) but her teacher is so confused about this kids family she just 👋#foreman always makes time for Rachel between cases holidays etc. and bring your kid to work day is right after her birthday.#so she goes every year spends the day in the teams or wilson's office. sitting in foremans lap until she just kicks him off and steals it.#also she has a height chart in foreman's Dark Shadowy Corner that she updates every year and everybody must Write A Note every year#on the flip side she hits chameron with the double 'why are you both blonde. sad.' and they both die of humiliation.#everyone thinks rachel'll take after foreman when she shows interest in medicine. she does. in a way. she goes into psychology :)#when she announces this (either in the clinic or in an ambulance over some guy who collapsed) house (who with wilson + cuddy coparent rach)#has what'll become known as The Great House Swoon of 2026 when rachel hits 18 yes i did math. he's fine tho. what's the logic behind this?#what season is it in? shhh no :) as a gift 4 college wilson gives rachel the dime she swallowed as a baby gold plated on a chain cause well#house md#gay dads hilson#h/w/c#the og ducklings
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I know perfectly well that I need to call the store if I'm going to call in sick for tomorrow but also I don't want to call the store
#they always stress to call the store if its open instead of texting a manager#but also it feels weird to call in sick TODAY for TOMORROW'S shift#but also also my shift starts at 6am tomorrow and im not getting up at 4 to text the shipment lead if i dont have to#my back will not magically be cured by tomorrow at 6 and spending 4 hours hauling boxes around will certainly not help#i am 30 i am at the Back Hurt age#its a lot better than it was this morning bc i have done approx nothing today lmao#but if i sit or stand for too long it starts bothering me again#am i making this post to avoid making the phone call? maybe so
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like a lover
he doesn’t answer. he doesn’t even look at you again. he just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. by the time you follow him, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whatever’s boiling inside him. fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: hurt comfort
content: student!reader gets drunk after a brutal final and spencer is beyond mad. very brief mention of abduction. lowkey spencer is in the right bc #safety but he made reader cry n for that he is found #guilty!!!
word count: 3.1k
note: based off this ask! random fact the last line of this fic was the inspiration for empty my soul but idk why i just couldnt fit it in there, anyways i hope you guys like it! (pls tell me if u do i was struggling with a resolution for this)
a line: Spencer thinks, for a split second, that he’d rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again.
I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. - carol ann duffy
You probably should’ve stopped five drinks ago—maybe four if you were feeling merciful. That last Vodka cran? A spectacularly bad idea. But whatever. You earned this. You’re young, you’re fun, you look good, and for the first time in weeks, you have no deadlines clawing at you. The final had been a nightmare. You knew your fate was sealed the second you flipped to question three. What the hell is textual and symbolic environmentalisation? But it’s over now. That’s all that matters.
The wind bites at your bare legs as you stand by the curb, aimlessly kicking a pebble. You hug your arms close, fighting off the chill. Maybe you should’ve brought a jacket. Spencer had suggested it, but you’d waved him off. He’s usually right.
You frown, glancing up at the street sign. He said he’d be here. Right? Your phone’s dying battery blinks at you in its final moments, mocking you before shutting off completely. Definitely should’ve taken his offer of a portable charger, too. You sigh, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
A man stumbles by, reeking of booze. You don’t need to look to know.
"Hey," he calls out, voice slurred and gravelly.
You keep your eyes down, pretending not to hear.
“Hey,” he says again, louder this time.
Where the hell is Spencer?
"D’you know when the bus starts running again?"
You hesitate, half-relieved that he’s asking something semi-coherent. "I—I’m sorry, I’m not sure."
He nods to himself, swaying on his feet.
"I told you to wait by the bodega on 3rd," a familiar voice mutters. Spencer’s hand closes around your arm, already steering you away.
"Oh, hey," you say softly, relief washing over you. "Is this not—" You glance at the street sign overhead—4 Maple Drive. Shit. "I—sorry, I thought—"
"It’s fine," he says, but the sharp edge in his voice tells you it’s not.
The car ride is suffocatingly silent. When he pulls open the passenger door for you, there’s no trace of his usual warmth. No soft smile, no gentle tease about your perpetually dead phone. Just a click of the door and the quiet thud of it shutting behind you.
You hate this. Hate the tension humming between you, the way his jaw is set tight as he drives. He was so different this afternoon, greeting you after your final with those cupcakes he knows you love from the bakery on the other side of town, his lips brushing yours in endless, giddy kisses. This Spencer is nothing like that.
"They played ‘Dancing Queen’ tonight," you venture, voice tentative. He knows it’s your favourite. Knows it always pulls you to the dance floor, no matter how tired or tipsy you are. "It was so funny—some guy bought us a round of shots—"
"And you drank it?"
The question lands heavy. His first words to you since he’d started driving.
"Well... yeah?"
"What else did you drink?"
"Not a lot," you say quickly, tripping over your words. "Just vodka, tequila, a bit of wine—"
"You mixed?"
The way he says it makes you bristle. There’s a hint of disbelief, maybe even disappointment.
"Spence," you say softly. "I’m not that drunk, I promise."
Nothing.
His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. The silence in the air is almost tangible, a crackling, oppressive thing. When he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine, he doesn’t move to open your door. He always does that. But not tonight.
You’re pretty sure he’s mad at you, though you’re not entirely sure why. It’s not like you go out that often, and you can’t even remember the last time you let yourself get this drunk. Tonight was an exception, a celebration. He understands, doesn’t he?
You follow him inside, trailing behind like a shadow. He doesn’t head to the kitchen like he does after you get back from a night out—no tea, no toast, no quiet ritual of making sure you’re okay. Instead, he walks straight into the study, his back to you. Yeah, he’s definitely mad.
"You’re mad at me," you say, standing in the doorway.
He doesn’t answer. His hands grip the back of his chair, his head bowed like he’s trying to gather himself. You’re not one to push, usually giving him the space he needs when he gets all broody like this, but the alcohol that’s running through your system is making it hard to practice patience.
"Why are you mad at me?"
Still nothing.
When he finally moves, it’s only to brush past you, heading for the bedroom without so much as a glance. "We’ll talk about this tomorrow," he says, his tone flat, clipped. "I can’t talk to you when you’re like this."
This. The word hits like a slap, sharp and dismissive. It irks you.
"If you didn’t want to come, then you shouldn’t have come," you mutter under your breath, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "I could’ve gotten a ride—"
"You were slurring on the phone." He stops in the hallway, turning just enough for you to see the tight set of his jaw.
"Yeah, no shit, Spencer. People slur when they drink," you fire back a little too harshly, the alcohol fueling your irritation as you cross your arms defensively.
"Don’t," he warns, his voice low, dangerous in a way that makes your chest tighten.
You glare at him, heat rising in your cheeks. "Don’t what? Don’t point out how ridiculous you’re being right now?"
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even look at you again. He just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. By the time you follow him, he’s sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whatever’s boiling inside him. Fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
You head to the bathroom without a word, your movements jerky as you swipe at the remnants of your makeup. You grab your moisturizer, fingers fumbling with the cap. A sharp tug and it goes flying out of your hands, clattering to the floor.
"Fuck," you mutter, bracing yourself for a bout of instability as you bend down to retrieve it.
Before you can grab it, Spencer moves. He scoops it up, straightening with an ease that feels almost mocking. When you meet his eyes, they’re unfamiliar. It’s not the Spencer you know. Not the Spencer who covers your eyes during scary movies or kisses your forehead when you’re half-asleep. No, this Spencer feels distant, cold.
"And I’m supposed to believe you’re not that drunk," he says flatly. Your chest tightens, a lump forming in your throat as heat flushes your face. He offers a hand as you steady yourself, trying to rise to your feet, but you brush him off, snatching the bottle from his grip with a bitterness you don’t try to mask.
"What the hell is your problem?" you snap.
"My problem?" he repeats, incredulous. "I’m not the one blackout drunk on a Wednesday night."
"I’m not—"
"Would you—would you just stop!" he barks, the words sharp enough to make you flinch. "You’re slurring your words. You got the streets wrong. You couldn’t even get the damn moisturizer open," he snaps, gesturing toward you harshly with a mixture of frustration and exasperation.
Your knuckles whiten as you cling to the edge of the sink, unsure if you’re holding on for balance or just to keep from breaking. You spin back toward the mirror willing yourself not to cry. The frustration, the confusion, the ache in your chest—everything wells up at once.
"God, you’re being so—"
"So what?" he interrupts, his voice rising as he steps closer. His eyes bore into yours, daring you to say it. "So concerned? So worried? So—"
"So fucking mean!"
The silence that follows deafening. For a moment, he freezes, the hard edges of his expression softening into something else—shock, regret, guilt—but it’s fleeting.
"So what if I’m drunk?" Your voice cracks as the words tumble out, your frustration too overwhelming to contain. "And yeah, maybe—" You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat as you glare at him, "Maybe I’m slurring a little but forgive me for wanting a drink after the final I’ve been stressing over all fucking month."
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, his frustration barely contained. "It’s not about you having a drink. It’s about you not knowing your limits—"
"Oh, for fucks sake," you interrupt, throwing your hands up. The movement makes you sway slightly, and you hate how it only seems to prove his point. "Newsflash, Spencer, I’m a university student. Sometimes we get drunk. You don’t get to make me feel like shit just because you don’t drink.”
You push past him, your shoulder grazing his as you move to sit on the edge of the bed. The mattress dips under your weight, and you grip the edge, willing the room to stop spinning.
"You were being reckless," he bites back, the word hanging heavy in the air. "You don’t see what I see. You’re out alone, you don’t—"
"I wasn’t alone," you say, your voice rising to meet his. "I had friends—"
"Yeah, friends who left you alone on a curb at 3am," he shoots back, cutting you off. The words land with precision, a calculated jab, but you refuse to flinch.
"Because you said you were on the way!" you fire back.
His voice is cold now, practically seething. "And what do you think would’ve happened if I hadn’t reached you just as that guy was coming on to you?"
"He was asking for the bus!" you shoot back, the words ringing out louder than you intended. You hate everything about this fight. You hate how unfamiliar he feels, hate the part of you that wonders if you’re the one who brought this out of him. "Nothing would’ve—"
Spencer’s expression darkens, his gaze narrowing. "Nothing?" He scoffs. "Tell that to Nina Radha. To Caroline Wrenley. To Mindy Denver. They were all ‘just waiting for a ride home’ last week. And now? All abducted. All dead."
The room goes silent. Your chest tightens, and the fight drains out of you as his meaning sinks in.
"You’re being cruel," your words are barely audible, trembling on the edge of your lips. The tears come faster now, streaking your face, but you don’t bother wiping them away. "Why—" you whisper, weak and watery, "Why are you being like this?"
When Spencer finally turns to look at you, the sight of your tears stops him cold. They streak your face in uneven paths, and he feels something inside him splinter. Spencer never likes seeing you cry—he hates it, actually. It’s not just discomfort or unease; it’s a literal, physical ache. But knowing he’s the reason for your tears tonight? That’s pain in its most visceral form. It’s failure in its purest state.
"I—" he starts, his voice faltering. It cracks mid-sentence, and he stops, swallowing hard. His breath shudders as he exhales, trying to find the words, but all that comes out is a quiet, broken, "I was scared."
Your tears have momentarily slowed, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. The anger in his voice has faded, replaced by something softer, something raw—fear, tangled with guilt, with regret. He takes a tentative step closer, then hesitates, unsure of what to do.
"I thought that… something could’ve happened to you, and I—I didn’t know how to handle it."
After a moment, he lowers himself to your level, crouching in front of you. He lifts his hand, reaching out to wipe away the tears that stain your face. But the instant his fingers near you, you flinch, turning your head to avoid his touch. The movement is small, but Spencer’s heart shatters at the rejection all the same. He hates that he’s made you cry, hates that you won’t let him near you, hates that you won’t even look at him.
"I’m sorry," he says, the words low and weighted with sincerity. He knows it’s not enough, but it’s all he has left to give.
Your tears fall, dripping onto your hands that rest limply in your lap. You shake your head, your shoulders tense, refusing to meet his eyes. The rejection stings, sharper than he expected, but he doesn’t blame you. He knows he deserves this. The room is still except for the sound of your quiet sniffles.
Spencer tries again, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. "I just—" His breath catches as he exhales, his hand running through his hair in agitation, the movement more to calm himself than anything else. "When I saw you standing there alone—alone and with that man, I got scared. And I lashed out. I shouldn’t have. You didn’t— you didn’t deserve that."
The silence that follows is thick, but finally, you break it. Your voice is quiet, bitter.
"I’m not them."
You’re still not meeting his eyes, still keeping that distance, but at least it’s something.
"Those girls… I’m not them, Spencer."
"I know, I know. I was—", his voice is low, the regret weighing heavily on every syllable.
"That case was tough on you, I know it was," you interrupt, "And what happened to those girls, it was horrible. But I'm not them, Spence. I'm not…" Spencer watches helplessly as you furiously wipe away a tear from your cheek.
"I'm not dead. I'm here."
“I was projecting, I—” His voice catches, “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” he admits quietly. You nod, grimly. Another single, heavy tear slips down your cheek and Spencer feels his heart break all over again.
"I know you’re scared. How do you think I feel every time you go out into the field?" You take a deep breath, and say bitterly, "I get it."
Each word is a struggle, but you say it with conviction. He can see how much you’re holding in, the effort it takes for you to keep your voice from cracking.
You pause, swallowing hard as you steady yourself, "But you—You don’t get to talk to me like that." When your eyes meet his, they flash with both anger and sadness. "You don’t get to take that out on me."
"I know, I—That was—I was being horrible, I was an ass," Spencer admits, his voice small. "You didn’t deserve that, honey. God, I’m just—I’m so, so, sorry."
You look at him for a long moment, searching for any sign that he’s being sincere. All you see is regret, raw and heavy. And something else, something softer. Love. He reaches out, and this time you don’t pull away. Just getting to touch you is a brief, bittersweet, blinding relief. Spencer lets his fingers graze your cheek as he wipes away your tears gently, his thumb brushing over the wet path they’ve left behind.
A soft, almost bitter laugh escapes you. "An ass is putting it lightly."
Spencer’s chest tightens, a small breath of relief escaping him, though it’s quickly replaced with guilt. "M’so sorry sweetheart," he breathes out, comforted by the familiar bite in your tone. It lightens the air between you, just a little.
He shifts to sit next to you on the bed. "I didn’t—I really didn’t mean to," he says quietly. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh, the fight slowly draining out of you. Spencer gently takes your hands, cradling them in his.
"I—I never want to hurt you, never want to make you cry. Ever." Spencer's voice cracks slightly as he talks, fingers tracing your palm. "You know that, right?"
You nod, your voice small but steady. "I know."
Shifting, you tuck your legs beneath you, turning to face him fully. Your hands lift to cup his face gently, your thumbs brushing against the faint stubble on his jaw. The touch is tender, almost protective, as you guide his face to meet yours. His eyes can’t hold your gaze for long, shame clearly written across them.
"I was just—I was—" He stumbles over his words.
"Scared," you finish softly, filling the silence for him.
"I—I’m sorry," Spencer’s voice falters, "I’m really sorry honey, I should’ve never—That was—"
Your hands guide his face back toward yours, coaxing him to meet your eyes. This time, he doesn’t resist, his breath shaky as he clings to the comfort you offer. "S’okay, baby. M’not mad anymore," you murmur.
"Sad?" he asks, his voice barely audible, like he’s afraid of what you’ll say.
"No," you smile faintly, shaking your head, "Not sad, baby," you whisper, leaning closer. Your thumb traces the curve of his cheek in silent reassurance. His shoulders relax just a little. "I just—" you sigh as you let out one last, quiet sniffle, "I really hate fighting."
Carefully, he coaxes you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you. "Me too, honey," he says, his voice thick with emotion as he shifts closer. You don’t resist, letting your head rest in the crook of his neck, your breath warm against his skin.
"S’not nice," you murmur against him, your words muffled.
"I know, I know," Spencer whispers, his fingers tracing slow, soothing circles along your back. You let out a shaky sigh, sinking further into his embrace. “Was awful, wasn’t it?” he says, quietly.
"Mhm," you mumble quietly, your voice soft but pointed as you lean into his touch. "Made me cry," you say, looking at him through wet lashes to prove your point. Spencer thinks, for a split second, that he’d rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again. After a beat of quiet, he tilts his head just enough to press a soft kiss to your temple.
"I love you, you know that?"
You hum softly, nuzzling your face into his neck with a contented sigh, "Love you too."
"Love you so much, sweet girl," he says again, quieter this time, like it’s a truth meant only for you.
"Sap," you tease, lifting your head just enough to meet his gaze, the faintest hint of a smile on your lips.
Spencer grins, soft and boyish. "Always for you," he mumbles fondly, and before you can respond, he leans forward, pressing a playful kiss to the tip of your nose.
You stick your tongue out at him in mock protest, but he’s already chasing the moment. A kiss lands on your cheek. Then another on the other side. Each one dripping with easy affection.
"Spence—" you laugh, the sound bubbling up. It spreads a warmth through Spencer’s chest.
"My sweet girl," he says quietly, almost to himself.
His smile only grows as he drinks in the sound of your giggles, tears long gone. He presses a fluttering series of kisses across your form until you’re laughing into his lips, each kiss softer than the last.
One on your cheek, two on your shoulder, a thousand on your lips.
⋆✴︎˚。⋆ hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!
ᯓ★ song recs if you feel like it: false god by taylor swift moon river by frank ocean
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader angst#spencer reid x reader comfort
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Mystery man
Logan Sargeant x Piastri!Reader
summary: Oscar's sister has a mystery man
(a/n: its short and sweet, its not my favourite but I'm getting back in)
Masterlist / TipJar
ynpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, hattiepiastri, yourbsf and 3,758 others
ynpiastri Alexa play a generic song about loving your hometown
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oscarpiastri omg you went back home, why did you tell me
ynpiastri why would I tell you, you don’t live here … hattiepiastri She told me ynpiastri Yeah because you live here! oscarpiastri woww hattiepiastri move home , England doesn’t love you like we love you
yourbsf I ask you one question about mystery man and you fly across the world away from me
ynpiastri the motherland was calling me yourbsf you ran hattiepiastri myster man ?? ynpiastri oops sorry on a plane home again
oscarpiastri
liked by logansargent, ynpiastri, landonorris and 1,745,096 others
oscarpiastri To monaco thank you for a P2. To my sister thank you for spending the entire weekend showing my crew my baby photos. That was hugely appreciated (I hate you)
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user omg which sister
user I think YN user Which on is YN I get confused?! user YN is the oldest of his 4 younger sisters user thank you ! <3
ynpiastri You’re welcome mr ‘I’m a car’
oscarpiastri I despise you ynpiastri I love you too big brother x
logansargeant they get better each time I see them
oscarpiastri you saW THEM TOO? logansargeant yn showed me the whole album oscarpiastri I’m dead
user I want to see baby Oscar!,
ynpiastri hold on I’ll post them soon oscarpiastri waIT
ynpiastri
liked by yourbsf, oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 3,922 others
ynpiastri Me FT baby older brother and logie
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oscarpiastri take this down
ynpiastri why oscar, you’re so cute logansargeant why oscar, you’re so cute oscarpiastri no take it down i’ll tell mum ynpiastri mum is in my likes, she’s not going to do anything oscarpiastri bully
yourbsf you look angelic
ynpiastri why thank you lovely yourbsf so who is mystery man hattiepiastri who is mystery man sis ynpiastri nope no man
user you look amazing
user how does she know logan?
user she met him through oscar
yourbsf
liked by ynpiastri, hattiepiastri, and 369 others
yourbsf On and off the grind. Waiting for YN to stop giggling at her phone
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ynpiastri i was not giggling
yourbsf no sorry, you weren't yourbsf you were heavily flustered ynpiastri objection your honor
hattiepiastri who is he sis
ynpiastri there is no one yourbsf hattie, please help
logansargeant
liked by ynpiastri, oscarpiastri, yourbsf and 878,362 others
logansargeant A classic Piastri-Sargent mess around
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user not the new girl reference!
user they are such a cute couple user i dont think they are dating, they are just friends user they would be cute oscarpiastri no
ynpiastri we slay
logansargeant i draw the line at slay ynpiastri not a slay
oscarpiastri wow replacing me
logansargeant always ynpiastri always, the better piastri hattiepiastri hey! ynpiastri sorry sorry, but oscar sucks
user logan and the pUPPY
ynpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbsf and 4,250 others
ynpiastri Grind, Pose, Logan
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logansargeant this is horrific why
ynpiastri its cute user i love yn using her feed for just intermittent mugshots of oscar and logan ynpiastri isn't it just amazing
user what is she studying?
user fashion marketing i think user oh thats so cool user she must be so creative and smart liked by logansargeant
yourbsf friday 9pm. you & me. talk
ynpiastri omg why am i scared ynpiastri mum? help? yourbsf we are talking about mystery man oscarpiastri hmm hattiepiastri facetime me in
oscarpiastri
liked by ynpiastri, landonorris, logansargeant and 1,993,520 others
oscarpiastri Madien win with celebrations. Not celebrating when I accidently found out news I did not want to hear
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user aww thats so cute is that him and lily
user noo lily wasnt there user yn, his sister, was....
ynpiastri take that down before hattie sees
hattiepiastri YN!!! oscarpiastri too late ynpiastri heyyy hattiepiastri Oscar, you know who mystery man is?? oscarpiastri Yup, how much is this information worth to you
logansargeant Oscar not you exposing your sister
oscarpiastri I have exposed no relationship. Just threatened user this is the best sibiling interaction user i live for this
yourbsf you lied!
ynpiastri no i just spun the truth yourbsf ynnnnnnnn oscarpiastri talk to me
ynpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf, hattiepiastri, and 5,259 others
ynpiastri Siblings amirite. oh and a hot man
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yourbsf this is one unhinged caption and soft launch
ynpiastri so i succeeded yourbsf i love that you are soft-launching a relationship that I know, that Oscar knows and also your entire family ynpiastri is it a soft launch when you consider how long I've been planning this oscarpiastri wait, How LONG?!
hattiepiastri no because congrats
hattiepiastri it makes sense yourbsf it does
user is that logan?
user you are so crazy for that (i think it is) user piastri-logan taken to a new level liked by logansargeant
yourbsf
liked by ynpiastri, hattiepiastri, and 401 others
yourbsf fashion school photo dump
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ynpiastri its a love hate relationship
yourbsf it is a tough relationship ynpiastri we love the pain
hattiepiastri i need you see you guys
ynpiastri we'll see you soon hattiepiastri hows your mans ynpiastri ill debrief you outside of a comment section
logansargeant
liked by ynpiastri, oscarpiastri, and 1,420,553 others
logansargeant Piastri-Sargent mess around, but its revealed I'm mystery man and i love this piastri variant
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ynpiastri not you spoiling my soft launch plan
ynpiastri I had a whole photo album for it logansargeant I am so sorry sweetheart ynpiastri you are forgiven lovely oscarpiastri gag, get it off my feed user omg hard launch of the century user it is perfect
oscarpiastri actutally thank you for just getting your silly slow reveal over with because i would not have kept that secret for long
ynpiastri have some self control user oscar is so relatable logansargeant you are welcome, brother-in-law oscarpiastri nope absolutely not logansargeant you are welcome, soon to be brother-in-law
hattiepiastri awww so cute
ynpiastri ikrrr oscarpiastri hmm i’m feeling protective ynpiastri there’s a lot you don’t wanna know oscarpiastri ew hattiepiastri ew logansargeant ew ynpiastri logie? logansargeant i just wanted to fit in
ynpiastri
liked by logansargent, hattiepiastri, yourbsf and 5,001 others
ynpiastri finally i can post my man. 1 year baby
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yourbsf a YEAR?
yourbsf betrayal ynpiastri nooo don't leave me yourbsf next starbucks is on you ynpiastri deal
oscarpiastri logan. 1 year. you've been dating my sister for a year
logansargeant doing more than dating ynpiastri LOGAN oscarpiastri dead man hattiepiastri dead man
user aww they are so perfect
user piastri-sargent, the perfect pair
logansargeant i love you pookie
ynpiastri poooookie!! user omg oscarpiastri i am deactivating my account
#social media au#social au#f1#formula one#formula 1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula one x reader#f1 fluff#logan sargeant#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant x piastri!reader#logan sargeant fluff#logan sargeant fanfic#logan sargeant smau#logan sargeant imagine#logan sargeant x you
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#i cannot fucking believe that my half-baked psilocybin therapy is working. this is so crazy.......#less than 4 months ago i was incredibly suicidal and my depression + trauma kept me from doing basic shit. i couldnt fucking enjoy anything.#and now i take literally no medicine except a gram of psilocybin every month or so. and i hesistate to say its 'fixed' me bc i still have#a lot of issues and i still have bad days#BUT. my life is so much better now..... i can actually feel good when i do things i like. im able to get important stuff done much easier#and im having bad days instead of bad WEEKS. when my cptsd gets triggered its still horrific and debilitating but the come down from it is#much faster and im able to function properly sooner#today i managed to talk to my leasing office about moving in a few days earlier and they said yes!!! ive manage to pack a BUNCH#of my stuff into my car for when i start moving in tomorrow. ive made an important phone call!!!#i still had to jump through the hoop of executive dysfunction BUT. normally i have to go through an obstacle course of it#every time i do it i feel like i get a little bit better. i try to make a 'plan of attack' every time i take them.#make my place feel as comfortable and safe as possible. i keep a journal nearby and relaxing music playing. and i try to sortof like#i guess a mix of introspection + reparenting in a way. i go with the flow but i try to focus on a way of thinking thats unhealthy#and try to tease + pick apart the reasons its unhealthy; while also trying to replace it with a healthier way of thinking#if that makes sense??? all while just. idk. feeling safe and at ease.#and ill feel kinda weird for at most a day afterwards bc lets be real. its psychedelic mushrooms. but afterwards i just feel much#lighter and generally just more at peace?#maybe its bc of how vulnerable i am while in an altered mental state; it may replicate the vulnerability i experienced as a child.#but rather than be abused for being vulnerable im being gentle and kind to myself??? idek man its weird.#anyways thats the end of my rambling im just thinking outloud
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