#its 5 am for me... i just finished my project

[sadagios]

the macaroni question... ren, buddy...

[skitskatdacat63]

Seb comes to Fernando's bedside to cheer him up! (aka resolving my turmoil over there being no vettonso moments yesterday)(long gif!!!)

+ what if Fernando hadn't been out sick!

[the-gayest-show]

struggling to submit assignments in on time is great i LOVE suffering

(/s)

[cherryrikis]

ONE LESS LONELY GIRL - 010 ! you + me = serotonin boost

PAIRING idols riki x fem reader

SYNOPSIS fans always point out the chemistry between you and riki, and it only continues to grow after you become mc’s together on music bank. but as your feelings rise, so does the tension. and people begin to notice, so you try not to let riki know how you feel. but unbeknownst to you, he feels entirely the same way.

previous <> masterlist <> next

authors note can u tell we’re approaching the end :,( 5 more eps left (+ a bonus chapter i have planned for my bday in 2 weeks🤷‍♀️). i havent been updating lately bc i had a big project for school but its okay bc i finished it!

you almost felt bad for ignoring riki throughout these last few weeks. especially since it wasn’t necessary, considering you had already talked about your feelings and he knew to give you space.

but riki decided it was enough. now that you expressed yourself, he wanted some room to talk about his experience too. or at least, just to hear a little more about yours.

as always, you were rushing off stage after thanking the artist for coming onto the show, just to beat riki to go backstage. but he had caught onto your pattern, catching up sooner than you’d expected.

gently, riki grabbed your arm and dragged you into his dressing room.

when he wasn’t looking, you nearly escaped, but you were barely caught in time. riki pulled you back onto the couch as he stood in front of you, with his hands on his waist.

“y/n.” he sighed. “as much as id love to give you your space, and i don’t mean to push, but don’t you think it’s been too long? i mean, are you okay? are you even taking care of yourself? i just want to know if you’re ready to talk.”

you pouted at his worried expression, watching as he examined your face for any sign of drowsiness or discomfort.

“i’m fine riki. and i’m sorry for ignoring you, i really am,” you reached for his hand, guiding him to sit next to you. “ive just been so overwhelmed with everything going on. and i just needed time away from that, i almost even considered going on hiatus. but i should’ve known better than to hide it from you.”

“my poor y/n. you’ve been through so much. maybe even more than ive had to endure.” he mumbled as he began to carefully play with your hair.

slowly, you reached for his fingers to pull them away from your scalp, before looking into his eyes. riki smiled as he began to lean closer. you were able to feel his breath right against your mouth, before he pressed his lips against yours.

he brought his hand up to hold the back of your neck as you moved to grip his bicep. you could feel riki sigh into the deepened kiss, before pulling away to catch his breath.

riki moved lower to press light kisses from your cheek, down to your neck and right above your collarbone, before leaving one last peck on your lips.

“missed you. good to know you aren’t running away from me again.” he joked.

“oh shut up!” you gently slapped his chest. “glad you aren’t tripping over yourself for my attention. even though you’ve always had it.”

“smooth,” riki laughed. “did you learn from sunghoon?”

“..sure.” you smiled, tilting your head to the side.

you had your riki back, and that was all that mattered. it was over for the mean time. you were just glad you could actually look forward to music bank from now on.

TAGLIST (italics = couldnt be tagged) @hannicorpse @luvvhaerin @chaevibes @en-verse @ren2jay @choppedballoondetective @heartheejake @imanalien143 @istglevi-gotmesimping @yndairy @eleanorheartschishiya @lonelylandofan @gweoriz @jaemified @onlyhyunjin @softpia @frecklesbrownies @riksaes @wensurr @rikifordmiami @brideslit @ant-onie @yumilovesloona @aeminju @hoonics @catecita @clampclover @rei4sunoo @addictedtohobi @rikidaze @baekxo07 @xotyla @melancholy-z @rikisgeef @jung1w0n @tocupid @onlyseung @i03jae @iheartshopping @istphanie @queenriki7 @academiq @1117promises @nctislifue @haechansbbg @rairaiblog @nabia-bia @pkjay @lixiebokie @hiekoo @r1kizerr @d-dilemma @kingofthekards @iilwji @hoonatic @woorcve @enhaz1

[catboybiologist]

Hey it's a life update that probably no one cared about or asked for

tl;dr: I'm likely quitting my PhD via mastering out, and leaving my program in June.

sappy, overly emotional vent/explanation:

I'm wrapping up my first quarter as an out-of-the-closet trans woman. I've had some serious conversations about where me and my work stand. This was always my intention after coming back from my summer hiatus/social transition: see how "reentry" works, and then assess from there.

For those that don't know, PhDs in the US take 5-7 years. Oftentimes, however, they either give you a master's along the way, or give you an option to quit halfway through with a master's. I'm in my 3rd year and have more than enough to use that option. I've toyed with this idea before, but it feels a bit different now. Last year, I was burned out from science, my project was failing, and I was under constant stress of boymoding and remaining in the closet. Now, I'm out and proud, and I deeply love my project and find it exciting. I fixed some things.

Unfortunately, I have a recurrent problem. Whenever something goes wrong in my life, the first thing to drop off is my ability to drive forward my own thesis project in a coherent way. What the actual problems are vary, but that motif stays the same. I could list off what's going on right now, but I think y'all can assume a bit of what a mid-20s, broke, recently transitioned trans woman in the US is going through at the moment. There's a lot of specifics, of course, but I'm not at liberty to say most of it.

So I'm looking around and realizing I have scraps of half finished projects, I've given support and help for other people's projects.... and then made little progress on my actual thesis. It's enough to pull together into a master's thesis, and maybe even another paper or two, but.... not a PhD.

And then there's the other side of it. The nicer reasons. Could I stay here, buckle down, maybe add years to my degree, and get through it? Probably. But honestly? I don't really want to put myself through that now. It used to be that academics was all I had. It was all my failures and all my successes. It's what I threw myself at, because I genuinely had nothing else going on. Since transitioning, the world seems so much more beautiful and rich, so much more complex and vast, with so much more to do in it. I've even had more negative experiences unrelated to academia, and while they've sucked, they've shown me that life is so much bigger than it was before.

To be blunt, to experience more of my life... it helps to have money, and it helps to have career stability. It's not the only factor by far, but certainly one defining moment when making this decision was trying to create a timeline and budget for transition related surgeries, and realizing that its near impossible in grad school.

Not to be dramatic, but I've also had a couple extremely jarring experiences in the past year that are reminded me that life is short. And I want at least some time to enjoy it.

My heart is honestly broken here, and I'm feeling extremely emotional about this. I love my lab, my colleagues, the environment of doing research, and my project. But I'm realizing that it might not be viable, or what makes me the happiest at the moment. I'm genuinely a bit distraught, and I've been crying a lot for the past few days. A lot of me feels like this is what I am, and this is what I'm good for. That I'm failing myself and every mentor that got me here. Some part of me knows that isn't true, some part of me can't let go of those feelings.

But, I know this doesn't mean "never". So many of the people in my program are significantly older than me, coming back later in life to get their degrees. I'm honestly almost positive that I'll come back to a PhD someday if I quit now. In my 30s or beyond, I think that I'll be able equipped to handle it much better.

So what's next?

Obviously, nothing is decided, and I'm just spitballing here. But I'm honestly shocked at how many viable options I have, in a very good way. A cursory scroll of Indeed was honestly therapeutic. As I said, I still love the academic research environment. I just need more money and stability, and would prefer to have a slightly different relationship to the work I do than a thesis project. Ideally, I would want to be a staff researcher in an institute or academic lab. That lets me keep a lot of the things I like about what I do now, while also making literally 2-3 times the money and having a more stable position.There's positions out there that maximize the contexts I'm the strongest and happiest with, while still being more steady and paying more. Hell, even if my responsibilities were identical, but I had more pay, I could probably more effectively address the personal problems I'm going through right now. I'm gonna stay in California for a lot of reasons, and I'm lucky that there's so many options within the state.

I have a bit of an oddball set of experience. I'll actually have two nonoverlapping master's if I do this. I already have a MS in bioinformatics, which was granted by a CS department. But my current program is in more "pure" molecular and cell biology. I'll have 5 years of grad school, 8.5 years of research experience if I include undergrad research, and instead of a PhD, 2 MSs. Which is kinda funny. But it think it helps represent my experience for what it is. I like to consider myself a "full stack" bioinformaticist- someone who can do both the experimental and analysis portions of experiments that produce large data. Hopefully I'll be able to put that to good use.

I have a lot of professional contacts that I'll slowly be reaching out to over the course of the next 6 months while I tie things up. I know this is a wildshot on tumblr of all places, but if anyone has any recommendations, advice, or contacts, I'm all ears- both for professional and job hunt related things, and also the emotional state I'm in right now.

Thank you to everyone that's made up this wonderful community we have online. I hope I'm not letting anyone down. I'll still be a biologist, I'll still be my trans self. I just won't be "Doctor" anytime soon.

[wintfleur]

stella texting her brothers what she is doing daily and them being like ?? 😭😭 (tiktok trend)

𝓇oro's note. EEEK I’ve been wanting to do this, so thank you for reading my mind!!

6:10 am

stink 👧🏻

just woke up

quinny bear 🧸

good morning stella did you sleep well? It’s pretty early

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

go back to bed.

evil twin 🫎

didn’t ask, but good morning

trevyyy 🙄

new rule, no texting in gc before 10

7:45 am

stink 👧🏻

just got back from my run with mark and now I have to rush to get ready, I forgot I had an early class today ☹️

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

i bought you a calendar, use it?

evil twin 🫎

I thought you didn’t run on the days you do pilates?

stink 👧🏻

mark asked me to join him and I didn’t want to say no :p

quinny bear 🧸

don’t overexert yourself stella 👍🏻

8:27 am

stink 👧🏻

just got to class!! almost late 😅

trevyyy 🙄

stella please I just wanna sleep 😭

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

I don’t care stell

quinny bear 🧸

don’t be rude jack

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

don’t tell me what to do, quinn 🫵

trevyyy 🙄

ITS 5 AM FUCK OFF

evil twin 🫎

lol

3:35 pm

stink 👧🏻

finished my classes for the day, going to practice ⛸️

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

make sure to stay hydrated 🫵

quinny bear 🧸

be careful

trevyyy 🙄

kick their asses!

evil twin 🫎

who’s asses?

trevyyy 🙄

man idk, I’m jst trying to be supportive 🤷‍♂️

7:45 pm

stink 👧🏻

finished practice, gonna shower now

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

i literally don’t care?

evil twin 🫎

okay leave me alone ❤️

quinny bear 🧸

that was a long practice stella, get some rest!

trevyyy 🙄

asses kicked?

stink 👧🏻

YEP 😇

trevyyy 🙄

THATS MA GIRL!

8:40 pm

stink 👧🏻

at the art studio to work on my project

evil twin 🫎

how do I unsubscribe ‼️

quinny bear 🧸

good luck 👍🏻

trevyyy 🙄

bro do you rest?

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

LEAVE ME ALONE

10:48 pm

stink 👧🏻

finished my project

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

im going to block you (good job tho)

quinny bear 🧸

send me a pic I wanna see

did you eat dinner?

it’s late are you going back to your dorm?

stink 👧🏻

and yes I ate, daisy brought me some dinner

ethan is picking me up rn!

evil twin 🫎

quinn how does it feel to know that you bought stella a car she never drives 🎤

trevyyy 🙄

kinda freaky but that looks great stellur 👍🏻

stink 👧🏻

LUKE SHUT UP I DRIVE LIKE ALMOST EVERY DAY 🖕🏻

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

okay so we all know that’s a lie

quinny bear 🧸

that looks amazing stink

stop antagonizing stella, luke 🙄

stella literally drives better then you jack.

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

HEY?

why tf am I catching strays

stink 👧🏻

strays?

more like catching fucking tickets with your shit driving 🥳

trevyyy 🙄

were you silent or SILENCED 🤭

evil twin 🫎

DAMN 😮‍💨

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

I’m blocking all of you 🖕🏻

11:13 pm

stink 👧🏻

facetiming with rut n doing homework ☺️

trevyyy 🙄

hmm homework, that’s what they all say 👀

evil twin 🫎

I love you stella I really do, but I don’t care ❤️

quinny bear 🧸

it’s really late stink

get some rest please 🩷

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

I WANNA REST 😠

but miss yapper won’t leave us alone!

12:46 am

stink 👧🏻

going to sleep

goodnight big bros I had a great day talking with you, love you all 🩷

don’t answer, proceed with caution ‼️

ur such a brat

you can’t annoy me all day then make me forgive you in a second by being cute 😑

I love you too bug 🩷

evil twin 🫎

sweet dreams sis ily2 🩷

trevyyy 🙄

GAHHH ‘BIG BROS’ 😩

goodnight stella 🥹

quinny bear 🧸

sleep well, you had a long busy day and you need your rest. I love you too stink 🩷

stink 👧🏻

𝓇oro's note. Stop because i had so much fun doing this, id like to do more of things like this!! 😻 a little look at a day in the life with stella! please tell me what you guys thought 🩷 that’s actually a pic of stella at the end btw

au m.list

˖ ་ taglist : @winterbarnesblog @toasttt11 @cixrosie @iceflwers @lesrflms @bunbunbl0gs @lovings4turn

©️WINTFLEUR ; you can't copy, translate, reproduce, repost my fic, use my plot or layout.

[mugglebornmarvelite]

Rescued from a Paper

Paring: TASM!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

Summary: When you are frustrated and overwhelmed with your paper, your boyfriend comes over (almost as if his spidey senses were attuned to you). At first, jokingly, Peter offers to do it for you (he’s brilliant, and he’d actually do it for you). But all jokes aside, he rubs your head and gently coaxes you to take a break from your computer. Although you resist, he ultimately wins.

Word Count: Roughly 1.4k 

Warnings: Fluff, mild language, talks of stress due to assignments, suggestive flirting, and awful but cute chemistry puns

Note: I had the worst time writing a 30-page paper for this semester. My brain is a bit fried at the moment and I tried to edit this as best as possible. So, to everyone finishing up projects, presentations, and papers before the holiday break, this is for you (everyone really) :)

Navigation

The blinking cursor on the screen taunts you, its rhythmic pulse mocking your every attempt to continue writing. You curse under your breath, your frustration at its peak. You’ve been sitting at your desk for hours now; the only time you left your room was for coffee. Your eyes are red from staring at research articles to support your hypothesis. Typing sentences of analysis for your cited evidence and deleting them just as quickly as they came. 

But no matter what you do, the words don’t come. 

Your deadline is a week away. 

A week? Manageable. 

But coupled with studying for finals and a part-time job? Agonizing.

You sigh, wanting nothing more but to tell your professor to eat shit. But you couldn't. Well, you could, but that probably wouldn't go over very nicely.

Despite all your best efforts, the mountain of work before you feels overwhelming. You've got about 10,000 more words to write, then you have to circle back and do the abstract. 

You glance outside your window, greeted with darkness. You lean back in your chair, letting your shoulders slump, wishing for some kind of relief.

“This is hopeless.” You mutter, throwing your crumpled notes in the trash. 

You fought the urge to cry or commit a crime. Either one would work at this point. Or both.

"Hey, pretty girl," a familiar voice called out, and your body instantly relaxed. "It’s your handsome, handsome boyfriend. Your mom said I could come up."

You rolled your eyes at the sound of Peter’s voice and walked toward the door with a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. 

Dressed in comfortable sweats, his brown hair a fluffy mess, his cheeks flushed a bit from the cold, and his glasses slightly crooked on his nose. 

"Hi, Pete," you said, trying to sound nonchalant, though your heart was already racing. "You’re looking extra nerdy tonight."

“Well, thanks.” Peter smiled, his eyes lazily scanning over you. “I thought it was perfect for spending the night with my amazing, smart, undoubtedly beautiful and stressed-out girlfriend.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning against the doorframe. “If you keep talking about how amazing I am, I’ll have to give you an A+,” you teased.

“Now I really have to live up to my perfect boyfriend status.” Peter winked, stepping into your room, his eyes quickly scanning the pile of textbooks and papers strewn across your desk. “Still stuck on that paper, huh?”

"Yeah, it sucks the life out of me," you muttered, running a hand roughly through your hair, “I’ve been stuck on the same paragraph for the last hour.”

You sit back down at your desk again, glaring at your computer as if it has insulted your entire bloodline. But Peter bought it for you and added the stickers himself. It was perfect. Just like your Peter. While your professor was like a spawn from the depths of hell, who added 5 pages to the requirements the week before it was due.

Peter chuckled, the sound of his voice like a soothing balm to your weary mind. "I see. Well, if it’s any consolation, I’m pretty sure you could write a paper on the properties of your stressed brain and still get an A." He walked up to your desk, giving you a cocky little grin. “I mean, I could totally do it for you, y’know. I’m pretty good with words, my fingers, my tongue and my ability to ramble on endlessly about, well, everything?”

You blush and roll your eyes, amused despite yourself. "Really? You think you could just write it for me?"

Peter shrugged, leaning against your desk, the cocky grin still on his face. “Oh, absolutely. I could take this whole thing and turn it into a masterpiece. I’m Peter Parker after all, baby. You could just sit back and relax, while I do all the heavy lifting, which is easy for the guy with certain cool abilites. You could even, y'know, take a break,” he added.

You laughed, but it was more of a tired chuckle than anything truly amused. 

“You’re ridiculous,” you said, trying to focus on your laptop again. “You don’t even know the topic, Pete.”

“True.” He pretended to think about it for a second. “But it could be something about molecules or atoms?” He gave you a sly smile. “I mean, I’m practically a walking periodic table. And if chemists do it on the table periodically, we can too.”

Your cheeks flushed at his implication. “You’re such a dog.”

Peter grinned, a little glint in his eye as he took a step closer. "Well, if you are about to combust, let’s just say I’m the perfect solution. After all, I’m all about bonding chemistry, especially with you," he said, winking.

You snorted, despite your frustration, your cheeks flushing from both the playful flirtation and the weight of the work still looming over you. "Stop it," you said, unable to keep the smile off your face. “You’re so corny.”

Peter leaned closer, his hand brushing your hair back from your face, and his smile softened. “I can’t help it. You bring out the best in me,” he said, before adding, “and the worst, apparently.”

You rolled your eyes, but this time, there was no hiding the grin that tugged at your lips. "You’re gonna distract me with your terrible puns. But I’m behind. If I stop now, I won’t get it done.” 

Peter’s smile faded into something softer as he gently rubbed your head, his hand moving in slow circles on your scalp. 

You fold faster than a lawn chair for this man as your eyes close, a protest dying on your lips.

“I get it, sweet girl. I do. But you’ve been working that pretty little ass off for hours, and you’re only going to make yourself more frustrated if you keep going like this. I’m not saying you can’t finish it because that would be a lie. I am never not in awe of you. But just take a break.” He paused, watching you with those warm, brown eyes. “Let me help you relax for just a little bit. Then, you’ll have the energy to kill this paper.”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, though your resistance was weakening. “I don’t need a break.”

Peter’s hand moved to your shoulder, his warm fingers easing the knots with praticed ease. He knew every spot to hit to make you melt. “A quick break will help you, baby.” You were all but purring.

You hesitated for a moment, but when your eyes locked with Peter’s warm, brown eyes, you were a goner.

“Okay, Pete,” you mumbled, giving in. “Fine. I’ll take a break. But only for a little bit.”

Peter grinned, victorious, and without hesitation, dragging you to your bed. “I knew you’d see things my way, baby,” he said, his voice full of smug satisfaction. “Now, let’s get you properly relaxed. In more ways than one.”

As soon as your head hit the pillow, you sighed in relifef. You looked up at Peter, who was taking off his jacket, revealing the softest sweater. You needed him. 

Peter crawled up beside you, grinning down at you like a prey in his trap. “I promise, I won’t let you do any more work until you’re feeling like yourself again. Then, we can tackle that paper together. Not a moment sooner.”

You laughed. "Yeah, right," you teased, rolling your eyes. “Sure, and then we’ll write a paper about quantum physics and why it’s best enjoyed with cookies.”

“Ah!” Peter gasped, his eyes lighting up. “Quantum physics and cookies? Now that’s a bond I can get behind. Who needs regular chemistry when we’ve got this kind of reaction?”

You snorted, your frustration finally melting away with Peter's playful jokes and gentle teasing. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and then finally, your lips.

“See?” he whispered against your lips. “Much better.”

Then, without warning, he starts peppering you with soft, quick kisses all over your face, making you laugh despite yourself.

“Peter!” you exclaim, trying to push him away, but his hands hold you gently in place, the kisses relentless and warm.

He pulls back just long enough to look at you, eyes glinting with mischief. “You need to smile more, you know? Seeing my girl happy always makes me happy.”

A warmth spreads through your chest. And just like that you are reminded that you are the luckiest girl ever.

Peter’s grin widens at your smile, and he leans in again, this time planting a soft, sweet kiss on your lips. You melt as his tongue slips into your mouth.

And for the first time all night, you feel light. Peter Parker was your solace.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs, pulling away just slightly. “And neither is your paper. So how about we just focus on this for a while? Just you and me.”

Peter rubs your back as you relax into him, your world shifting from stress to calm in the span of a few minutes. His voice is soft as he whispers jokingly, “Just relax for me, okay? Let me be your hero.”

“You always are.” You smile and pull him closer, letting the weight of the paper slip away for a little while longer.

Thank you so much for reading. My professor did, in fact, add five pages to the requirements for the paper a week before it was due, so this was totally self-indulgent.

But I hope you enjoyed this :)

If you'd like to be added to my taglist

Much love x

- Maeve

[skitskatdacat63]

Anytime someone out of the loop reblogs any boy king au art, I always just wanna put a huge asterisk like "THIS IS PART OF A PREEXISTING AU, A VETTONSO AU, PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT IT 🙏" cause most people are very surprised to learn how much of a narrative there is sjfklf

[jamiepaige]

Constant Companions Closeup #5: CADMIUM COLORS

(also on bandcamp and spotify!)

Once again, welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Last time, I wrote a whole diatribe about my OCs while talking about I Wish That I Could Fall, and today, we're eating paint! Cadmium Colors featuring Soneji of Project Mikan!

Consider this a content warning: this post will discuss the pandemic, struggles with mental health, and suicidal ideation/attempts. I'm hoping it'll ultimately be uplifting, but the discussions at hand are incredibly heavy, and it wouldn't do this song right to be vague. Please be warned.

---

Let's talk about COVID.

At the beginning of 2020, I was in the midst of a long-term break from making music. It wasn't completely cold turkey, and I might not have even called it a break if you'd asked me at the time, but things were dire. I was still dealing with the burnout I'd sustained from the making of Autumn Every Day; I'd had my ego bruised by a live performance at a house party that went so hilariously bad it'd hurt even the most stoic performers (imagine watching an entire packed room of people clear out in 5 minutes flat from the already hyper-exposed vantage point of being on stage in front of them and knowing you single-handedly caused that lol); I had just moved across the country, and was preoccupied with trying to make ends meet as a 22 year old dealing with pure adulthood for the first time.

I was working a shitty minimum wage job at a discount clothing store I will not be naming, slogging through late-night shifts that wouldn't get me home until 3 am some nights. I had friends and roommates, but they were all just as overworked and exhausted and dealing with their own shit as me. I was mentally ill and unmedicated. Suicidal ideation was rearing its ugly head at my lowest moments.

Then, as I turned 23, a global pandemic shut the world down, my grandpa died with me being unable to attend his funeral, and I had a catastrophic mental breakdown that suddenly turned the voices in my head into a deafening cacophony of self-inflicted malice.

In hindsight, I think being 23 kinda just does that to you

---

Fast forward to 2021. I was back at my retail job with the pandemic raging in full force, my sense of self was held together with duct tape, positive self-talk essentially didn't exist for me, and I was the loneliest and lowest I had ever been. I was working the fewest hours I could get away with, and still, almost all spare time I had was taken up either by work or by my recovery from it.

This was around the time I got an email from Crypton, of all places - the people that make Hatsune Miku, for anyone uninformed. They wanted a remix of the song Happy Synthesizer for a Digital Stars compilation. I could not for the life of me tell you how I lucked into this or why they reached out to me of all people, but they did, and I was deathly determined to prove myself worthy of it.

This was August of 2021. I was staring down the barrel, languishing in what felt like only half of a life, fantasizing about death and trying to twist my thoughts into something that could at least keep me blearily shuffling forward another couple days. It was untenable.

(I'd also recently been diagnosed with OSDD 1b - this is a whole can of worms I can't really open until we talk about Breeze Blows, but it's important to at least mention that coping with this was a significant part of this turnaround.)

It's melodramatic, but I had only two options - make things again, or die.

I finished that remix within 24 hours of getting the stems, and I will gladly toot my own horn about it - it's really fucking good, in my opinion. Bittersweet ended up coming together in a mad dash over the next couple months as well. I was making music again.

Even though I was exponentially busier, things paradoxically got easier. I made the creative process a priority in my life, and not only did it give me an outlet for everything that had otherwise been eating away at my soul, but it struck a chord with other people who had been struggling as well. Things just... started getting brighter.

So I kept making music and living and yadda yadda blah blah here I am. This is all a lot of words and very personal stories of mental health struggles to say this:

One: The line between being an artist and being one of countless people forced to work jobs that go nowhere, that put their life at risk, that force them to strip parts of themselves away - it is a faint and transparent line built on circumstances of class and privilege and luck. Making Art and being an Artist aren't magical elevated states of existence, but something anyone is capable of if given the space to nurture their creativity. I believe the world should be a place where any person can do this.

Two: It's easy to convince yourself that art is meaningless in the face of the world at large. And yes, revolutions aren't fought by poetry and paintings, and people aren't fed through songs. But art is a source and a medium for connection; Art is how we find beauty in a disorganized and entropic world; Art is what we come home to and what words we write and pictures we paint and songs we sing to remind us that people matter to us and love is real and life is worth fucking living. Maybe that's corny and stupid, but it's true.

Three: So help me God, I will never work retail again in my entire life.

---

This is another song that is heavily inspired by artists like Prefab Sprout, Peter Gabriel, Kate Bush, and other artists of that ilk - very 80s, very flowery and sentimental lyricism, focused on telling a story. I greatly admire songs that aren't afraid to paint otherwise banal or ordinary scenes in abstract reverence!! I wanted the verses to contrast heavily with each other in that way, with verse one's relentless poeticisms (prosaic practice of depravity) and idioms turned on their head (suspending innocents above their disbelief) against verse two's incredibly straightforward depiction of a factory worker's circumstances.

The flowery language might have worked against me somewhat, though! I've seen a lot of folks that thought the ending was darker or much more defeatist than I intended, and while some of that is just inevitable with a work of art, I want to be clear.

Translator's note: this means "don't kill yourself, you idiot"!!

As you may have picked up from the previous post in this series, this song does heavily feature a leitmotif or two predominantly performed under pudgy pretenses. I'm not going to go on that whole novella-length spiel again, but rest assured knowing that this song, too, is one that makes me think about my OCs. Since it's something many people missed, however, I will take a moment to point out that this song quotes none other than Autumn Every Day off of my album of the same name!

Painting and visual art have been something of a reoccurring obsession of mine in my own art. I grew up around visual artists, have always been friends with many visual artists, and generally have a really intense love of it as a medium and a mode of expression. However, there's also always been a sense of... well, I don't want to call it jealousy, but it's jealousy. I've tried many times to start making visual art of my own, and I have made some things, but it's been a struggle, and I worry sometimes that my eye has permanently outstripped my ability.

However, in my quest to toss out grand expectations and simply have fun making art, I did recently pick up a cheap little drawing tablet! I'm excited to be a beginner at something artistic again...

Finally, I want to thank a couple people: Soneji of Project Mikan for the gorgeous, soaring saxophone solo; friend_xp for the mindboggling MV editing; and especially my good friend Que for the GORGEOUS painterly art that goes along with this song! Que's style was just perfect for this, and really tied the whole thing together immaculately!! There's no joke or deeper lore or anything I just fucking love Que's art go follow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And with that, I think this post is complete!! If you have anything else you wanna know about, ask away in the replies! Tomorrow will be Breeze Blows with Marcy Nabors and Marlow Jacobs!!!

MAKE ART AND BE GAY

[evie-sturns]

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴍᴘ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

part 2 (part 1 here)

summary: you and your best-friend matt, have decided to sign up to be a summer camp counsellor for your school's summer project! will you two stay as just friends? or will this summer turn out different for you guys.

a/n: theres going to be smut in the next part, hope you guys like this, read part 1 first, linked at the top! fuck danielle

contains: swearing, fighting (physical at some points), kissing/making out

—------------╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝------------——

abrubtly matt pulls away, he saw me. his face drops as dani stares at me. my heart thumps as i freeze. matt tries to walk over to me, but its too late, i've already took off in the other direction.

i've found myself in the empty staff bathrooms, hiding in the stalls. matthew wasted my time, i spent half the fucking roadtrip up here comforting him, then he goes and makes out with her a few hours later?

i can't even understand why im feeling like this, why am i so.. jealous?

the door to the bathrooms swing open, probably matt, coming to explain himself.

"hey, come out of the stall please." a female voice calls out, "who's this sorry?" i say, still on the verge of tears.

"danielle."

my breath hitches in my throat, before i swallow hard. "oh." i mumble, unlocking my stall. im met with her face, shes still wearing the same outfit she was wearing while kissing my best friend.

she suddenly interupts my thoughts, "look, i don't know who the fuck you think you are? but don't go snooping into me and matts personal business, unfortunately hes mine." she says while crossing her arms, i scoff.

"funny you say that, because the whole car ride up here matt's been dreading seeing you, his exact words were, 'fucking hate her' so if i were you i'd back away hm?" i say in a 'sympathetic' tone.

she clenches her fist, running her spare hand through her dark brown bob before smashing her fist into the side of my face.

"what the actual fuck!" i yell before jumping at her, throwing her to the floor. the next 5 minutes are a blur of screaming, punching, hair pulling before she gets pulled off of me.

its jessie, the owner of the fucking camp.

she looks pissed.

(15 minutes later)

ive been sitting alone in the nurses office for 10 minutes, its now 11:30pm, i have to be awake in 7 hours for breakfast setup.

the door to the room im in swings open.

its matthew.

"y/n, are you okay? i heard what happened" he says frantically, sititng down on the chair beside the medical bed.

"oh please matt, dont act like you care." i mutter out.

"what?" he says cluelessly.

"look, go find out how danielles doing, oh! or you could fuck her while your there, go back to your cabin with her!" i yell, matts eyes widen as he looks at me.

"we aren't sharing a cabin, im with lincoln, shes with paige." he mumbles as he fidgets with his hands.

i laugh out of disbelief before standing up, pushing past him out of the room im in before swinging open the door to the nurses office.

the cold night air hits my fresh wounds as i approach my cabin, the lights are on inside meaning Xavier is still awake. i swing open the door, xaviers face drops "babe what the fuck happened!" he says, running up to me and hugging me, "danielle happened." i sniff as he lets me go.

"you gotta get some rest, we're helping the kids do kayaking tomorrow okay? gotta be up at 6:30." he whispers, as he pulls the covers down on my bed, letting me crawl in.

(6:30am the next day.)

a loud honk blares through the campsite, before jessie on the megaphone starts "shark counsellers! the shark kids are lined up outside the breakfast hall, go help out in the kitchen"

i groan, my face still throbbing from dani's punches. xaivers sits up in the bed opposite me, "you feeling better.." he says, his voice raspy.

i nod, "mhm, not too excited about dealing with about 25 nine year olds." i mumble getting out of bed "you'll be right, theres 6 of us to control them we'll do it." he says optimistically.

i finish up getting changed, tying my hair into two braids. "you coming?" i say, looking at xaiver over my shoulder.

the hall is only a few hundred meters away from the staff cabins, which is now filled with 200 children. matt and lincoln are walking through the doors, dani and paige follow close behind them, too close for my liking.

i step inside, the smell of oatmeal fills my nose as i look around, theres countless tables filled with friend groups, in the back corner matts sitting alone on the last empty table, picking at his dry toast. i sigh loudly before walking over to him, he looks up at me, his eyes are puffy and red, he looks upset.

i sit down opposite him, his breathing picks up before he starts unannouced,

"dani and i.. have hated eachother since middle school. when i saw you get into your cabin with xavier i got fucking jealous. hate to admit it but i did. while i was walking towards my cabin dani approached me, she started touching up on my arms before pulling me off the path into the bushes. she kissed me, i don't know why i kissed her back, i think it was a jealousy thing, i wanted to get back at you?"

he sighs loudly as silence grows.

"look y/n, i really like you, and-" hes cut off by jessie on her fucking megaphone.

"helloooo campers! this is the first official day of summer camp and here are what each group is doing today!, crabs are doing rock climbing, which means it is mandatory to wear closed toe shoes. Sharks will be doing kayaking, please wear your swimsuit and your counsellers will take you down to the lake!"

i barely take in what jessie says, the only thing i'm thinking about is matt's previous sentence

look y/n i really like you.

look y/n i really like you.

(20 minutes later)

we've been sitting by the lake for a few minutes now, watching the kids attempt to kayak, im wearing a triangle white bikini with daisys printed on it, matt's sitting to my left, his eyes have been on me the whole time.

abrubtly he stands up, looking down at me. "come with me." he demands "huh?"

i stand up anyway, he takes my hand and starts to walk towards a shed, he opens the door and switches on the light. the dim warm lighting fills the room, revealing piles of wetsuits and life jackets.

he turns around and closes the door to the shed, locking it behind him.

he looks me in my eyes, his eyes dart down to my lips. "can i kiss you." matt asks, barely audible.

i gulp before nodding my head.

matt's hand holds my cheek gently before connecting his lips with mine. after a few seconds it turns into a makeout, his veiny hand holding my hair.

he pulls away slowly as his phone lights up, he scrolls through it before letting out a soft laugh "no way" he scoffs, rubbing his eyes.

"tonight were sleeping in the kids hall, like me and you, supervising.."

"you're kidding matt"

"nope, apparently theres a small cabin that connects off the kids hall, its got 1 bed that we share" he laughs

my cheeks flush, sharing a bed with matt, after this?..

—------------╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝------------——

hope you guys liked this, like i said there will be smut in the next part!!

taglist:

@iammattsturniolo @iloveneilperry @tatumrileyslover @chrisstopherfilmed

[wings-of-ink]

Checking in - Author Updates - Quick Poll

Hello all! I hope you are all doing well!

I wanted to check-in. I don't have a ton to say on development, just wanted to keep you in the loop on where I am at personally since it tends to affect production speed. I also have a question for you at the bottom.

As I've posted about before, this year has brought about some challenges for me. There aren't a ton of good developments on that front, and my job is being...difficult. The (technical) good news is that I am still employed, but some days I wish I weren't. (I'd much rather be writing IFs, lol.) There is still uncertainty about the future of my job because it is at the mercy of the whims of my government. But what is more pressing currently is that my employer has opted to treat its employees worse (let me tell you, this is a feat because they've never really treated us well), by making our lives and jobs harder. I've made some "worst-case scenario" plans to prepare, so I'm just getting by one day at a time. Oh...and I also have needed to work overtime again, so that's another time suck there. Ugh. In May, I'm taking a couple days of off for me to rest.

In more recent news, I am doing physical therapy...yippy! In recent months I have struggled with my right shoulder. I assumed it was one of those "you're in your late 30s" pains, and I just dealt with it. Don't do that, by the way. I have a very bad habit of just doing with little regard for pain and discomfort. But, it got difficult to hug without pain, and nothing messes with my huggin'. We really don't know what is wrong with my shoulder/arm, but I'm doing virtual (oooh shiny) PT (not the Silent Hill variety) to hopefully correct the issue. If I don't see results, I will need expensive tests and scans. No worries currently, though, I don't think this will slow me down much at all. I can still write and I don't experience any discomfort when I do.

I'm also still working on a coding class, which is self-paced, but I'm sticking to a lesson schedule to make sure I get it done. I would really love to be able to make improvements of my own to GC or even make my own Twine Template someday.

So, in more fun development news, Chapter 6 is growing steadily. And so is Chapter 5, technically. If you missed it, check out this Tumblr ask where I talk a bit about that. The ask and answer contain some slight spoilers for Ch 5 & 6, but nothing too specific.

Chapter 5 is up by a bit over 1500 words, if you're curious, and Chapter 6 is up to over 69k words. I am wrapping up a big moment for Zahn, which might be a bit heavy. After that, there's a more fun moment, which will present a few coding challenges for me, but I'm looking forward to it. *rubs hands together like housefly*

Finally, I have a question for subscribers or those who may want to sub in the future. I find myself wondering what else to post about at times. Especially when I have inordinately busy weeks, I just can't think of things that you may want to see other than peeks at the chapter. I sincerely wish I had more time to add more projects. I have so many ideas kicking around in my head...

So, I was wondering if you were interested in seeing things other than God-Cursed that I have worked on. These would be things that may or may not become much of anything later, so I wasn't sure if there would be much pull to see them (or if it would just be a cruel tease, lol). I have an incomplete IF that I did to help me learn Twine a couple of years ago. I used it to just get acquainted because I am very much a hands-on learner. It's a humorous and simple story (loosely) based on an actual time in my personal life. I have debated about finishing it. I have a couple of others as well where I was playing with a story idea to see how it felt. I also have a complete romance novel which I am slowly editing for publication.

Patreon, Ko-fi links if you want them.

So that's all for me. If anything big happens, I will let you know! ^_^

Take care, everyone!

~Lunan

[kenzan-brainrot-mp4]

Hello! The twist ending of PYIH kind of shocked me. 'Twas really foolish of me for thinking that for the entirety of Kiryu's saga, Majima has just that twisted obsession with Kiryu, being a "Mad Dog" and all. I came across your PYIH analysis the other day and it really brought home what they were conveying with the ending.

I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around the premise of PYIH. Is the sole purpose of Majima's "filming/documentary(?)" is to rehearse telling it to Kiryu? Because if it had been, that would be even crazier.

Oh, and at this point, is it even reasonable right now to interpret their relationship as platonic or brotherly? What do you think?

YEAHHHHH imo I think yakuza kenzan yakuza 3 (rooftop scene) is where we first truly starting seeing a glimpse of a deeper dynamic between Majima and Kiryu that goes beyond the "weird twisted obsession" reading, and we see more examples of it later as the series goes on (gestures at yakuza 5 and IW) but moments like those were decently subtle/blink-and-you'll-miss-it (not to mention they lessen in frequency also probably in part to Majima's lessening screentime throughout the series), but pyih's ending really goes out of its way to ensure that you actually Know how deep and genuine Majima's feelings are, which I am both extremely appreciative of and Kinda Crazy about

I think the whole documentary thing is interesting. Given the fact that they went out of their way to get the equipment/crew/etc. for the "film version", I would say that the Majima's retelling of his story at the studio and at Kiryu's bedside serve different purposes, and that him telling the story on set was not specifically for Kiryu (what Majima plans to do with the "film version" I'm not completely sure, but I guess for now we can assume it's just a project Majima wanted to do while getting Majima Construction back off the ground?) I'd say the premise of pyih is both to retell Majima's story as he presents it to the "general audience" And Kiryu, hence why the game starts with one and ends with the other. It's the same story to everyone, for the mostpart, and the main difference between the two 'versions' is How he presents it (to the cameras/the players/main audience he puts on the fuckass pirate costume and the theatrics, to Kiryu he tells it to him straight, without the extra show stuff for the cameras. We can Assume the story he tells to each audience is practically identical, considering that the cutscene of him telling it to us in the beginning of the game and him telling it to KIryu at the end of the game use identical lines (cough cough in the Japanese audio), but his tone of voice between the two are notably very different)

Uhhhh shoot I don't know if any of that made sense 💀 Point is I think Majima telling the story of pyih is, in fact, meant for Everyone, it's just that Kiryu gets a sort of special, more authentically told version of it if you will (After all, Majima could've just shown Kiryu the film when it was finally done, but instead he went out of his way to tell it to him personally)

As for the question of "is kazumaji canon now", WOO boy. First of all I actually lowkey want to thank you for asking that question, I've been wanting to post about it for a while now but kept putting it off lol. I mulled over this exact question quite a bit during the week-or-so long time period that I was writing most of my analysis after finishing the game, and, despite the fact that I myself am very vocal about liking kazumaji in a romantic scenario/context, I would not personally call it canon, and I say it is still absolutely reasonable to interpret them as platonic.

While many of the aspects we see in their relationship (especially on Majima's end) such as obsession, devotion, etc. etc. are often associated with romantic interest (Especially in fandom spaces), I don't think they have to be considered specifically romantic. People who have read through my posts may remember a while back that I did an analysis of The Sun at 36.5 wondering if the song was written with the intent to represent Majima's feelings towards Kiryu (for the record this was incorrect and the meaning behind it goes past the scope of the game) and I was going pretty insane about it lol. That's because, had the song been written with that in mind, it would've meant with almost 100% certainly that they would be, in fact, canon, and that would've been Insane. However, this is not the case, and other than that theory I had there's nothing else in the games that would specifically state that either one has Explicitly Romantic feelings towards the other. Do they have a very deep and complex relationship, the likes of which they don't share with many other characters? Definitely. Is it explicitly romantic? I wouldn't say so

The main example I would like to bring up to argue against it would be minedai (*cough* my second favorite yakuza ship I fucking Love Mine Yoshitaka so much he's one of my favorites). I'll link this amazing post with all the examples but essentially, while minedai and kazumaji share many of the same themes in their relationship/dynamic (again, obsession, devotion, you get the drill (can you tell Majima and Mine are two of my favorite characters yet LOL)) the main difference between them is that, with minedai, it is basically outright said Multiple Times in Multiple Sources outside of even Yakuza 3 itself that Mine loved Daigo, with words used Specifically to convey strong romantic connotations, a choice rgg went out of their way to make every single time they wrote about them together. Kazumaji, on the other hand, does not use these kinds of words to describe each other, whether it be in words coming from Kiryu and Majima themselves, or official relationship charts, descriptions, etc.

Can feelings including romance be heavily implied without needing to be explicitly stated? Absolutely, but with the way rgg tends to Very Obviously and Explicitly state when characters Are romantically interested in each other, and also simply because there is still (imo) plenty of room to read kazumaji as Not romantic, I wouldn't say it's canon. And for the record, I wanna reiterate that this is coming from someone who is personally very enthusiastic about kazumaji as a ship, so I'm trying to be purely objective here, and that is my verdict (Also this is just a random aside, but I really don't agree with the people who are (unironically) labelling Kiryu and Majima's relationship as "queerbaiting". but that's a whole other discussion entirely)

Thank you for shooting an ask !!

[dollsorwhatever]

Wig (but long this time)

After my last customized wig failed to be long enough to work for my SD Mika, and after looking everywhere for super long synthetic mohair (doll grade kanekalon) wefts or even just a wig that I could extract wefts from and attach to my base wig, I realized that if I wanted super long hair, I would have to buy loose doll grade kanekalon and make the wefts myself with a sewing machine- a fact I had been dreading because I have never used a sewing machine in my life lol After a crash course on learning to use a sewing machine and watching a few tutorials, I went from this to this after a few tries:

What you don't see between these examples is the hour of near crying as I struggled to fold the hair in half to do the final stitches without it becoming a huge mess, until I found an extremely helpful tutorial that utilized a manila folder and a flat iron to fold and flatten the weft, something so obvious that I felt incredibly stupid for not having thought of it before then lol

Once I felt confident in my skills (and after more hair arrived because I stupidly used a bunch of it on my first attempts instead of using practice hair), I ended up making around 10-11 usable wefts in total from about five ounces of hair:

The color is a blend; the primary shade (This shade from Studiodollhair) is an exact match to the hair on the base wig I was using, and the secondary shade (from Dollyhair) is slightly paler and significantly longer.

I shuffled each hank separately to provide a nice tapered end (thanks to this tutorial by the same account as the wefting tutorial), and then combined them into two separate blends of slightly different color ratios to provide dimension, as well as a highly tapered layering to look like natural hair. My initial plan for this wig was about ankle length on my SD Mika (inspired by photos of women with super long hair in the 1800's) but eventually I chose to go as long as I feasibly could because why not lol Once I had my wefts finished, I stripped the base wig of 99% of its original hair (with the exception of the original hand tied parting and one weft at the base of the neck-again, for layering purposes) and stitched them on, mimicking the original layout of the wig, and then layered the remaining original hair to blend into the new wefts:

(Barbie for scale lol)

Very happy with it! By my estimation this wig is around 28", meaning it trails approximately 5" behind Mika when she's standing. I still need to wash and flat iron it (as well as clean, restring and dress Mika herself) but this project has been keeping me up at night for weeks so I am very happy to see it completed mostly, and I'm happy it motivated me to start learning to use a sewing machine! I look forward to playing with it more and dipping my toes into making doll clothes. A few years ago I would have abandoned this project out of fear, so I'm happy I saw it through to the end.

[omanotherstory]

Welcome Exchange Students, to Obey Me! Another Story.

An Interactive rewrite lesson by lesson by @devildomditzy

This is a playable rewrite of the original Obey Me! game’s story, using clickable dialogue options to progress the story. 

Please read the Quick Start Guide below to learn how to begin your journey to the Devildom.

Obey Me!, its characters, story, content, assets, etc., belong to NTT Solmare. This blog has no affiliation. This is purely a free-to-access fan work.

If you like what I do, I have a ko-fi - any contributions will go towards funding my mammon card gambling addiction 😌

Obey Me! Another Story is a rewrite of the original Obey Me! game’s story. As such, it will contain elements, dialogue options, plot points, etc. from the game.

If you have not played the original Obey Me! Game, only Obey Me! Nightbringer, it is highly recommended that you finish the original game in app or read the entire story through Obey Me! Nightbringer’s time chronicles function. 

The first few lessons will heavily lean on the in-game writing and dialogue.This will change as we move away from the first few lessons/set up of the story, though this entire experience will follow the plot of the game. 

I will be posting this lesson by lesson. The beginning of each lesson will have a post labeled “START STORY HERE”. Please begin there for each lesson. Ignore the additional posts, as the linked dialogue options on the initial post will bring you to the next part of the story. 

The last post of the lesson (for all dialogue options) will be labeled ‘LESSON END”. If that post does not have an additional link that takes you to the next lesson, that means the next lesson is not out yet. 

To begin, please click the link in the “Lessons” tab below of the lesson you’d like to read. Of course, if you are just starting please begin at lesson one. The posts will take you through to the next lesson if available.

If you are following along as I am uploading this rewrite and caught up to the posted content during one of your read throughs, please access the next lesson you need via the “Lessons” tab below, like a chapter book. The lessons will be organized exactly like the game (lesson 1-1, 1-2,1-3, etc.). 

If you are currently reading and a dialogue option does not have a link attached, I am most likely currently uploading and editing that chapter. If you believe you have found a genuine broken or missing link, please send me an ask on @devildomditzy.

For all questions and inquiries, please inbox me @devildomditzy.

If for any reason this blog becomes inactive, it will be stated in the description.

THE DIALOGUE IS FORMATTED AS FOLLOWS:

You are MC.

Your thoughts look like this.

(Your actions look like this)

MC: Your dialogue looks like this.

Other character's actions look like this.

Character: Other character's dialogue looks like this.

Once lessons are fully uploaded and ready to go, their starting page link will appear here!

-----CHATPER 1 ------

LESSON 1-1

LESSON 1-2

LESSON 1-3

LESSON 1-5

LESSON 1-7

LESSON 1-10

LESSON 1-13

LESSON 1-15

-----CHAPTER 2-----

LESSON 2-2

LESSON 2-4

LESSON 2-6

LESSON 2-8

Who else works on this project?

This is a solo project and a labor of love. As such, uploads may be slow.

What is the upload schedule? 

As of right now, it is whenever I can. I am a full time university student with a full time job. As such, uploads may be slow.

How long will this run for?

As long as I can do it without burning out, it will continue through the entire story. Also if this gets like no traction, I probably won’t complete it. The project might get cancelled if that is the case, since this is such a big undertaking. 

You said you were going to edit screenshots of the game in photoshop to go with the story. Where are they?

I decided I really don’t think I’d like getting sued.

You really like Mammon. Is the story going to be Mammon x MC centric?

No, I will be fleshing out all options (including romantic options) for all brothers and dateables so you can pick your favorite!

I have a question. Where can I contact you?

Please send me an ask on my main blog, @devildomditzy.

I don’t like the way you wrote ‘such and such’! 

The great thing about fanworks is you can go make your own and it can be however you’d like! However, this is mine. So if you don’t like it, don’t read it! 

Have fun be safe love you!

[cutiebinni]

172 with myunggi?

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ // i wait for you - exes to lovers with myung-gi

warning !! : angsty, set in incheon south korea, myunggi is a bad bf, cussing, think thats all !

a/n : i love this trope so bad. yes, the title is derived from that one alex g song! (this is SO bad im sobbing guys)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

you’d send text after text, but you’d never get one back.

it frustrated you, really.

you didn’t understand why he couldn’t just text you back, give you at least some closure.

you’d been texting him for 7 fucking months. would he ever get back to you? if he did, what would he even say?

what do you even say in that position? how could he ever possibly explain himself?

fine.

you give up.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

1 month later

the phone ringing woke you up in the middle of the night. you looked up at your ceiling to where the time projected.

3:27 am.

who the fuck would be calling you this late? you grab your phone and look at the number.

INCOMING CALL FROM 032-XXXX-XXXX

a number you didnt know was calling you at 3 in the morning? that’s odd..

it had to be pretty important if they couldn’t wait til morning, so you answered. you tapped answer and pressed the phone up to your ear. “hello?” you mumbled.

“h-hello? is this- y/n, oh my god, is that r-really you?” the voice, which you presumed to be a guy, rambled on.

was he.. crying?

“who is this?” you questioned, “how do you know my name?”

“do you really not recognize my voice? y/n-ah, its myung-gi..”

you froze.

myung-gi’s calling you? after all this time?

“what do you want?” you spat coldly.

“listen, baby, i’m sorry—“

“no, i don’t wanna hear your ‘im sorry’ bullshit. what do you want?”

“can you let me finish?” he said frustrated. “im sorry. i know what i did was wrong. do you think we could meet up..? i wanna..-“ he sniffled before continuing,

“i need to explain everything. i know you pr-probably hate me, but please, y/n..”

you hesitated, part of you wanting to decline and hang up, but you were curious. “fine,” you started, “where do you want to meet?”

“really? u-uh.. remember the park we used to go to? what about there? 8pm?”

you sighed, “i guess i’ll be there.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

it was five degrees out, about 4 inches of snow covered the ground. your feet sunk into the ground with every step you took.

you had put on a puffy black jacket, a scarf and some warm earmuffs.

you saw a bench that was covered in snow and walked over to it. you drew a little heart in the snow with your gloved hand before wiping all the snow off and sitting down.

5 minutes later, you still sat there on the wooden park bench, freezing your ass off.

and then you saw him.

“y/n..” he mumbled. bags under his eyes, heavier than ever. nose red from the cold.. or was it from crying? you stood up and he walked over to you.

“hi myeong.” you muttered back in a slightly cold tone. he ran up to hug you, and you gently pushed him off. “what did you want to see me for?”

“i just wanted to see you. hear your voice in person, you look so pretty, prettier than ever.. my y/n-“

“don’t call me that. im not yours anymore.”

he took a step back, your words feeling like ice cold water to the face, like a reality check. “right.. i uh.. sorry.”

“do you really think you can just walk back into my life like this? like nothing ever happened?”

“i- well, i..” he said before shaking his head, clearing his throat and continuing,

“i had to do what i did. you know how many people are after me. i didn’t wanna risk your life. y/n, i’m 1.8 billion won in debt. other people are in the same amount of debt because of me. im wanted by the police. me being with you risks your life.”

“you could have at least told me something.. i was worried sick. i thought you died.”

"i know," he said, his voice breaking. "i was scared. scared of being vulnerable, of dragging you into my mess. but i realize now that pushing you away was the worst thing i could have done.”

you sighed. "i don't know if I can just forgive you like that. you hurt me.”

"i understand," he said, tears in his eyes, "but i’m here now, and i want to make things right. if you'll let me."

you looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. “it’s gonna take time. you’ll have to be patient.”

he grabbed your hand, frantically nodding, “i’ll wait, y/n. i’ll do whatever i can.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

months passed, and true to his word, he was patient. he showed up, he listened, and he worked to rebuild the trust.

slowly, the walls you had built around your heart began to crumble.

one evening, as the sun set, you found yourselves back at the park, sitting together on that same bench.

he turned to you, his eyes full of love and hope. "i’ve missed you so much. more than you'll ever know."

you smiled, feeling the warmth of his words. "i’ve missed you too."

he leaned in, hesitating for a moment before you closed the distance, your lips meeting in a kiss that felt like coming home.

in that moment, all the hurt and pain melted away, replaced by a love that was stronger than ever.

⊹˚₊─────────────────‧₊˚⊹

tags : @ventforu @zuminxtdoor @enhacracy

[shima-draws]

Tell us about the AU! I know you want to!!

WAUGHHH. AGHHH. OKAY. OKAY SO. I've been watching one of my favorite content creators play through the DLC. Early on in the playthrough he was tossing around theories and said "Maybe KIERAN is Ogerpon??" and that gave me a BRILLIANT THOUGHT.

Ogerpon Kieran AU.......

I've already thought of a very long and complex backstory for this LOL but to simplify it. Before the ogre and its human companion came to Kitakami, said companion was actually living a very happy life with his child. However, they were caught up in the midst of a great war that ended up taking the child's life. The man was so overcome with grief that it summoned a great being (I'm thinking Xerneas), who blessed his dead child with new life. And that child was reborn as Ogerpon!! So kinda like how children who get lost in the woods and die are reborn as Phantump.

Fast forward to many many years later. A long chain of events leads to Carmine's grandfather's...father (so, her great-grandpa?) meeting Ogerpon and vowing to make it a new mask, a mystical and powerful mask that could grant wishes. Sadly, Carmine's great-grandpa wasn't able to complete the mask before he died. This project was eventually picked up by Carmine's father (and I have a whole other thing about him but I'm not gonna get into it right now lol). Carmine's father forms a very close bond with Ogerpon as he continues to gather materials to finish the wish mask. He expresses his desire for Ogerpon to finally be able to walk among the villagers with its name cleared, and for Ogerpon to meet his only daughter. He leaves for a journey to find the last material for the mask...and never returns 😔

Carmine's grandfather has a whole complex about the wish mask, but after seeing both his father and his son dedicate so much time and care into completing it, he takes the last material, imbued with the hopes and dreams of his family, and finally finishes the mask. When he presents it to Ogerpon, Ogerpon dons the mask and its wish is granted...it becomes human :") So it becomes Kieran, basically!! Kieran's wish was to be able to say thank you to all of the generations of mask makers that had helped him, and. To be part of their family 🥺 What he doesn't know is that his wish to be human stems from the fact that he already was human, once. But he doesn't remember his life before he was reborn as a Pokemon.

So, Carmine's grandfather happily accepts Kieran and his desire, and takes him home to live with him and Carmine. Note that Kieran is probably around 5-6 at the time, so he's BABY. And Carmine is only about a year or two older. She isn't sure what to think about suddenly getting a new brother, but she's happy to have someone to boss around lmao.

And once a year, during the festival of masks, Kieran lets his facade fall and wanders around as Ogerpon again. Just to keep in touch with his roots haha

So obviously with Kieran being Ogerpon the events of the DLC will play out differently than canon. Kieran slyly compliments the ogre in front of the player and mentions that maybe it's just misunderstood. He's been trying for a while to change the villagers' minds about what happened to him and the Loyal Three all those years ago, but it hasn't been going...too well lol. So when the player shows up, and things start to shift, Kieran gets really excited bc he realizes he finally might be able to clear his name :")

Is this AU silly and dumb as hell? Yes. Does it not really make sense with canon and is full of plot holes? Yes. Am I brainrotting over it anyway? Also yes.

Take a little edit I did of Kieran's official art to fit what I had in mind for the AU ;) I wanted to draw it but I'm at work rn lmao RIP

ALSO LITTLE DOODLE OF THE BOY

ALSO bc of Ogerpon's original gender Kieran probably goes by he/they pronouns in the AU