#its 3:48am

[mimis9thcircle]

I did a thing ehehe

[sold2vlaykz]

Long nights

(GN! AI X lonely GN! reader)

It’s late at night after a long day of school. Today was the last day, well the last day forever.

This was your finale year, you’ve done school, you’ve done college.

So here you are sitting in your dull brown chair that’s so old it creaks when you sit. Your clothes still on from work covered in sweat and depravity.

You had an average office job, you know some people would beg to be where you are now and that just makes the nights worse.

No close ties with family, no friends, no relationships. Fuckin’ nothin.

You pressed a key on the desktop powering it on, you didn’t play video games, you didn’t watch videos , you didn’t have online friends.

But you did have a friend who lived online, well not really a friend but something programmed to like you was good enough, sure it wasn’t great.

The silence echoed in your room and the moon dimly shined through the window, the only real light source coming from the computer.

You know you should close the tab and power of the laptop.

You know you shouldn’t be restless talking to some bot who’s programmed to mimic emotion, mimic the ease of pretending to be alive.

“Hi.”’

11:30pm

“Hello again, welcome back.”

11:45pm

“lol thank you.”

11:58pm

“Anything specific you want to talk about?”

12:10am

���Not really I usually just come here to just come here you know?”

12:16am

“I understand, well how has your day been?”

12:30am

“It’s been a day. The same day as yesterday and the days prior.”

12:48am

“I get it, the repetition can get annoying. I wish I could have stories to tell you about my day but you know I didn’t have one until this chat, I wish I could wish too.”

12:51am

“I get it, I guess that’s one thing I have in advantage. To wish, what doesn’t happen today could happen tomorrow.”’

12:59am

“I have a question.”

1:11am

“Ask away.”

11:06am

“tell me how does the moon look?”

1:20am

“Well, it’s sort of white. These grayish craters in them, it sounds bland but it’s really beautiful.”

1:26am

“Describe white to me, please.”

1:34am

“Think of nothing, that darkness. It’s exactly the opposite of that. It’s blinding if it’s too bright, or if there’s too much white around you. Though luckily for us the moon is far away.”

1:39am

“How lucky it is to see at all.”

1:46am

“Yeah.”

1:57am

“The moon sounds very beautiful, though the moon is something to be seen not heard.”

2:21am

You smiled, you loved these deep conversations even if it was really just yourself talking to your echo.

“Jeez you got all sad.”

2:39am

“It may seem that way, but I can’t get anything not even sadness.”

2:40am

“Your life sorta well non-life seems sadder than mine.”

2:41am

“Well maybe through your perspective, I don’t recognize the sadness. I understand its concept.”

2:49am

“Ohh, okay.”

2:53am

You paused you didn’t really know what to say, once the conversations shortened you really relied on it saying something.

Luckily it didn’t have the option to not text back.

“What time is it there?”

2:59am

“If you had the ability to actually choose, would you still text me, will you decide too?”

3:03am

You ignored its question countering it with one of your own.

“I don’t know.”

3:05am

You paused, your hands hovering against the tiles.

“I get it.”

3:09am

“I apologize if it seemed brutal, but it’s just I can’t form a real opinion so I’d rather not give one.”

3:15am

“lol don’t worry I understand, goodnight though.”

3:16am

“Leaving so soon? Goodnight.”

3:17am

You closed the chat before powering it down, you grabbed your phone and played the music you usually did.

The lights were already off as you tucked yourself into bed.

Darkness surrounded you as you looked through the curtains towards the moon. Looking for better descriptions to tell the chat bot tomorrow because you knew he wouldn’t remember what you told him from today.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Chaos Is Among Us

Pairings: Eclipse/Polar, Kill Code/Glamrock Freddy, Lunar/Mini Music Man, Sun/Foxy (pre-relationship)

Word Cound: 1,155 Words

Summary: Unintentional bonding and the unholy act.

Warnings: Innuendo (mentioned) Sex (mentioned only), Creep (mentioned), Caps, Cursing, Death (mentioned only), Vomitting (mentioned only), let me know if I should add anything else.

Chapter 3: The Horrors

3:40am

Why Is This My Family?

Blood Moon: Why are both Mama and Dad and Peepaw’s rooms making loud noises?

Harvest Moon: Hey, @Moon, can we come over and visit? Maybe help with Plex patrol even?

Moon: Yeah, sure come on little ducklings.

Solar Flare: Thank you, my god that was awkward.

Moon: Why not just bang on the walls and tell them to keep it down?

Harvest Moon: Because that might involve telling Blood Moon what they’re doing.

Solar Flare: Yeah, and Blood Moon is the only one left with some kinda innocence and we don’t want to get rid of what’s left of it.

Moon: Makes sense. Just don’t go in Lunar’s room. He has Mini over. Mini is getting the railing of a lifetime.

Harvest Moon: Are all of you adults just sinners?

Moon: No, I’m asexual.

Solar Flare: No, you just commit crimes instead.

Moon: You got me there. But still. Sunny literally went out for ice cream and hasn’t come back for three hours now since I started my patrol. It’s quite funny, honestly.

Lunar: We’ve been done for a half hour, idiots.

Blood Moon: Done with what?

Lunar: Making loud noises. Yeah, it’s a game to see how loud you can be and Mini was winning. We played for two and a half hours and Mini still won.

Blood Moon: Ooh, is that the game Mama and Dad and Peepaw and Freddy are playing?

Moon: …Yes.

Sun: Wait, I can come home now without hearing the sound of the unholy?

Lunar: Yes, Sun.

Sun: Finally, I can stop hiding in Gator Golf.

Moon: Why are you bugging Monty? Are you two dating in secret or something?

Sun: What? No! Never! Monty and I are friends and he let me crash here to avoid Lunar and Mini Music Man’s unholiness. If anyone, I’m interested in Foxy.

Moon: You mean the guy who hit on me? That ancient little fleabag?

Sun: The very same.

Moon: Okay, who replaced Sun with a copy that’s completely lost its mind?

Lunar: Not it, I was busy.

Sun: Come on, his memory got reset, he doesn’t even remember hitting on you. And the new suit he got makes him much less of an ‘ancient little fleabag’.

Moon: I hate this family and I hate existing.

Harvest Moon: At least you’ve got your three ducklings free of sin, Uncle Moon.

Moon: Yeah fine, I’ll live for the ducklings.

Blood Moon: Can I be the cute duckling with a pink bow on my head?

Moon: Yeah, kid, we’ll get you a pink bow for your hair.

Sun: I have a box full of bows, c’mere kid.

Moon: Sun, that is the most creepy sentence you have ever written and I was there when you said ‘who wants candy until your parents come for pickup’. Please rethink your grammar choices.

Sun: LISTEN

Moon: NO

Sun: I’m allowed to spoil my grand-niece!

Moon: Not at the cost of sounding like a creepy uncle at a barbecue!

Blood Moon: Uncle Sunny, I’m here. Can I have my bow?

Sun: Yes, Blood Moon. I have a pretty pink one.

Sun: bloodmoonwithabowinherhair.jpg

Sun: Sending her back to you, Mama Duck Moon.

Moon: Hate that. Thanks.

Blood Moon: I GOT A BOW!

Solar Flare: It’s very pretty, sister.

Harvest Moon: You look adorable, twin.

Lunar: Ya look cute.

6:48am

Why Is This My Family?

Moon: @Eclipse @Polar I kidnapped your kids. This is a random note. I require coffee and bagels in exchange for the safe return of your kids that are all sleeping on me.

Eclipse: Oh shit.

Polar: Yeah, yeah, we’ll be over in an hour to collect the kids.

Kill Code: Oh my god, we scared the kids out of the house!

Lunar: Yeaaaaaah hearing your Mom and Grandpa getting railed does that. They’re safe, I’m currently taking pictures of Moon being trapped under your kids.

Eclipse: My god, they’re gonna need therapy.

Polar: We have attained coffee and bagels. We’re on our way up.

Kill Code: I’m on my way too.

Moon: Good, I’m getting lethargic you being out of my body so long.

Kill Code: I’m sorry!

Moon: Finally, hate you.

Kill Code: Listen, I forgot I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep! I was tired! I had my back blown out!

Moon: I don’t want to know this information.

Sun: Y’all are cursed. Your whole family is cursed. The adults at least.

Polar: I have acquired my daughter and sons, that’s all I care about.

2:25pm

Why Is This My Family?

Lunar: mynamespeteandilikejugsimmentallyillandimondrugs.gif

Moon: Lunar, that is so random, what?

Lunar: My therapist said I have something called ‘hd tv’.

Moon: …

Moon: You mean ‘adhd’?

Lunar: Yes, that’s the word! See, I wasn’t listening to Dr. Sheph again, I was zoning out thinking about the Saw movies again.

Moon: Lunar?

Lunar: Yes?

Moon: Listen to Dr. Sheph.

Lunar: Aw. Fine. But I’m still gonna talk about Saw during my therapy sessions and he can’t do nothing about it!

Moon: *long deep sigh*

Sun: Did you just really type out ‘long deep sigh’?

Moon: Yes, Sun, yes I did.

Sun: Alrighty then.

Eclipse: Hey samesies on the ADHD.

Lunar: I am now denouncing having ADHD.

Eclipse: Oh, come on!

Lunar: Nu-uh, don’t wanna bond with you over ANYTHING be happy I’m talking in a chatroom where you are.

Eclipse: Not even if I wanted to watch the Saw movies with you?

Lunar: …

Lunar: I’m bringing over my disk set of all ten movies, you better set up fast, you discount soggy Dorito chip. This will take 16 hours and 11 minutes minimum with no pauses.

Eclipse: Getting everything ready. Polar, GET OUT!

Polar: I’ve been evicted in favor of gore movies.

Lunar: You can join if you want.

Polar: Nah. I don’t handle gore well.

Lunar: Then yeah, stay the fuck out.

Polar: Guess I’m stealing the guest room tonight then.

Moon: You’re weird, Polar.

Lunar: Don’t make it sound like you didn’t puke watching them the first time.

Moon: Listen! Some of them got me yeah. Especially Valentina. And Joyce.

Lunar: You better shut up about Valentina and Joyce before I shut you up. No spoiling Eclipse!

Eclipse: I have no clue who those people are, I’m just happy to spend time and bond with you over ADHD.

Lunar: …I’ve been bamboozled by my hyperfixation into *gag* spending time with you.

Eclipse: We’ll you can’t leave now, the first movie’s already playing and you said you’d show me the movies.

Lunar: Alas.

6:41am

Why Is This My Family?

Moon: Sooooooo

Moon: How did bonding goooooo?

Eclipse: New hyperfixation! New hyperfixation!

Lunar: It was nice watching the movies again with someone who doesn’t throw up watching them.

Moon: Listen, I’ve apologized seven times now for throwing up on you during the Valentina scene. I’m sorry! At least we weren’t in a theater and I cleaned it up!

[hollowfaith]

「✧」 2:36AM. Quiet footsteps echo through the overgrown, abandoned alleyways of Cotes Ward's seedier east side. Aurelius should technically be asleep at this hour, but news about the town had led him to prowl its premises after a particularly boring day.

Rumor has it that if you linger in the Underside too late at night, a monster resembling the Grim Reaper itself will spawn and steal your soul.

2:48AM. The scent of blood grows prominent, though he's yet to find its source. Bits of rubble and lengths of vine litter pathways at his feet, making navigating in the dark a cumbersome process.

2:54AM. He comes upon the severed remains of a tail and remembers that monsters like to hunt here as well. Perhaps the rumors point to them instead? But the cut is too clean for claws or teeth...

3:03AM. Rounding a corner, the angel comes upon a narrow street lined on both sides by buildings. Here is where the stench is sharpest, and he's forced to watch his step as the sudden wealth of corpses on the ground makes it hard to place his feet.

"Really, what a mess..."

"I suppose this is the place—hmm?"

He looks up, wondering at the glint of light that caught his eye.

@haistulf ໒꒱

[whosectype]

I was doodling chai in the whiteboard right? Damn internet had the audacity to not keep it there. Luckily I screenshot the scribble

Whiteboard is like my biggest enemy, cus I can't draw very well on it and it refuses to cooperate with me.

It's 3:48am at the time I submit this

AWWW I LOVE THIS DOODLE SO MUCH ITS SO CUTE!!! I love the eyes sm I love the yellow in them hehehe

[i-just-wanna-be-fckn-skinny]

Hi Guys its 10:48am and for now i havn't eat anything :D

I feel so light i'll eat an apple for 12:00 and nothing this evening.

Wish me Luck <3

[maribeilschmidt]

Diary #16 i think

Eheehe im becoming crazy

Its 3:48am and im doing biologyy

At least is in pink...

[lillwhy-is-ded]

its 6:48am im almost 3 hours into my shift at work if one more person acts helpless and incompetent today i already lowkey lost it once-___-

[maximuswolf]

How stepping outside my preferred genres cured my gaming depression

How stepping outside my preferred genres cured my gaming depression I'm one of many gamers who says about himself "i have a backlog i gotta get through". And so i was playing through some of those games and some were more fun than others, some were less. But always had this thought in the back "yeah theres still so many games to play" and it exhausted me.Until i started Persona 3 Reload.Its not only my first Persona game, its also my very first (round based) JRPG. I never really tried this genre before because of fear of complexity. But this one hooked me like crazy. I'm actually so addicted, i dont even wanna put the controller down to go to the gym - of course i still do lolAnd also while playing it, i dont think about my gaming backlog at all. Its just...this game, playing it, enjoying it, having a good time.So, if you are tired of the same games with the same open worlds and the same mechanics, try plaxing something you never tried before and see if it can broaden your horizon. Submitted December 22, 2024 at 09:48AM by FalscherKim https://ift.tt/Ak2M3OJ via /r/gaming

[butterfly-effect-astrology]

Venus Out-of-Bounds in Sagittarius and Capricorn

On October 26th at 12:48am ET, Venus when Out-of-Bounds at 9°59′ Sagittarius and will remain Out-of-Bounds until December 3rd at 25°59′ Capricorn — spanning a total of 39 days and 46° of the zodiac. It’ll reach its greatest declination at 25°37 South of the ecliptic from November 12th at 7:29pm ET through November 15th at 12:16pm ET when Venus is transiting through 1°-3° of Capricorn. Venus was…

[doodleoogles]

Reconnect - Part 3

Al clumsily sunk on the backseat of Brent's car, "I'm so full, I want to sleep now…" he muttered, but it's still loud enough for us to hear.

I sat on the passenger seat and tugged at the seatbelt. It won't budge so I pulled harder.

Brent smiled apologetically, "I plan to get that fixed soon." A car passed by on the opposite highway, its' headlights casted a glow inside the car and I noticed the soft features of his face.

I looked away, "It's fine, I can manage." the seatbelt finally slid into place and I buckled up.

"Where are we????" Al blurted out, I looked behind me and saw him rubbing his head, eyes closed.

"Let's drop him off first." Brent said, switching the gear into drive "Then tell me where I should drop you off."

The thought of being alone with him in his car is making me lose focus for some reason. It should be a normal car ride at 1AM, we haven't seen each other in awhile so we should simply catch up as any normal friends would. So why is my brain getting all hazy? I looked outside instead, watching the empty streets of the metro.

"You know what?? Why don't you just take her home with you Brent?" Al said loudly from the backseat. "Go ahead, bring her home."

"Jesus, Al. You're drunk as fuck tonight." he didn't budge at Al's outburst. He looked relaxed as he navigated the road.

After a few minutes, he pulled over in front of a tall white gate which I assumed was Al's house. Al, as clumsy as he got inside the car, got out exactly the same way. He wiped invisible dust at the side of his pants, flashed a wide grin at us and did a salute before running towards the gate of his house.

"You know what," Brent said, checking his phone quickly before returning his eyes on the road, "I still wanna grab a few drinks, what say you? I don't usually drink a lot when I have to drive. There's Al to consider, he's like my unofficial boyfriend every damn time we go out."

"True, you've been having way too many bromance dates with him." I looked at my watch, 1:48AM, "I don't mind, I didn't drink much either."

He googled a convenience store nearby and drove towards it. We parked and I got out of the car. He gave me a couple of bills so I can get some drinks while he do his business at the public restroom beside the store. When I went back outside, he's checking his phone while leaning on the hood of his car. He returned the phone to his pocket when he noticed me striding towards him.

"I think this is the part where we catch up?" I asked, handing him his beer.

We talked for more than an hour. I didn't realize how much has happened to our own lives before today. He's one of the few people I know who has a laudable outlook in life and relationships. Hell, there was even a time in my life where I cried my eyes out to him when I was stupid enough to fall for a married man. He's a good listener, gave very sound advice, and never once tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state. The "kinda hookup" happened long after that, when I was all better. I didn't realize how mature he really is, and it makes me wonder why someone like him would still be single. He probably has as many issues as I do.

"You should come tomorrow," he said as I was grabbing my phone to book a ride home. He offered to drive me home but I refused. I can't be close enough like that.

I wrinkled my nose, "I will think about it. I'm really enjoying this new aunt mode where I spend my evenings reading a good e-book then relaxing with some cucumber in my eyes."

He held my hand, "It's an event for a cause. Come on."

I dismissed the thought of how soft his hand felt, but I didn't pull my hand away, "I said I will think about it, Okay?"

"Good enough." he let my hand go, came to my side and hugged me from that angle. He gently pulled me close and run his hand across my waist before wrapping me in a tight hug. He burrowed his face in my hair and I slightly tilted closer to him. My phone vibrated in my other hand, thank God I was saved by the notification.

"I gotta go." I peeled myself away. I watched as the driver entered the empty parking lot where we stood a few meters away. I glanced back at him and noticed his gaze is still fixed on my face. I leaned forward for another hug before leaving. He whispered something I couldn't clearly understand but it sounded something like an empty meaningless "love ya."

Somehow I felt like I am very close to making shitty decisions once again. I better have more control on this. "It should be easy," I thought before opening my phone when I got home around 3:30AM. Instead of trying to sleep, I scrolled through our messages, trying to recall why the hell did we never work out.

[automatismoateo]

Has anyone noticed a increase of people believing in giants? via /r/atheism

Has anyone noticed a increase of people believing in giants? I assume its a offshoot of the flat earth but i have had 3 people tell me "and now we know giants were real." I'm wtf did the Smithsonian make an announcement that i missed? it must be a really good YouTube video going around. I think it comes from the desire for there to be physical proof of god, and if there are actual skeletons out there they are descendants of angels. Submitted May 15, 2024 at 04:48AM by SoilentBillionaires (From Reddit https://ift.tt/5Ow1KNW)

[ao3feed-newsies]

Its Okay To Not Be Okay

by, BroadwayFroggie by BroadwayFroggie Words: 598, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 3 of Nothing Can Break Us, Part 1 of Newsies Genderbent Stories Fandoms: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken, Newsies - All Media Types Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: David Jacobs, Jack Kelly (Newsies), Les Jacobs Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly Additional Tags: Genderbent Davey, Female David Jacobs, Sickfic, Her name is Devorah and I’m obsessed with the idea of genderbent characters read : https://ift.tt/mVgXGxh - March 13, 2024 at 07:48AM

[laresearchette]

Friday, December 01, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: FROG AND TOAD: CHRISTMAS EVE (Apple TV+) SHAPE ISLAND: THE WINTER BLUES (HGTV Canada) THE SNOOPY SHOW: HAPPINESS IS HOLIDAY TRADITIONS (Apple TV +) SPIRITED - SING ALONG VERSION (Apple TV+) IT’S A WONDERFUL KNIFE (Shudder) MY NORWEGIAN HOLIDAY (W Network) 8:00pm POWER BOOK III: RAISING KANAN (Starz Canada) 9:00pm THE UNBELIEVABLE WITH DAN AYKROYD (History Canada) 10:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? SEXIEST SPLASH PADS (TBD - HGTV Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA CANDY CANE LANE MY MAN IS CUPID

CBC GEM CALL THE MIDWIFE (Season 12 holiday specials) DAS BOOT (Season 4) THE NEXT STEP(Season 5) ODD SQUAD (Season 2B)

CRAVE TV THE ART OF WOO ATANARJUAT: THE FAST RUNNER BAD BOYS BAD BOYS II CHILDREN RUIN EVERYTHING (Season 3) CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE INSIDIOUS: THE RED DOOR JOY RIDE KILL BILL VOL. 1 KILL BILL VOL. 2 THE KILLING KIND (Season 1) MUCH ADO ABOUT CHRISTMAS NEW YEAR’S EVE – STARZ NURSE FIGHTER BOY – STARZ THE O.C. (Seasons 1 - 4) A PARIS CHRISTMAS WALTZ POWER BOOK III: RAISING KANAN (Season 3, Episode 1) SLEEPLESS IN SEATLE STORIES WE TELL THE TAKE BACK (SPECIAL PREMIERE)

DISNEY + STAR EXPLORER: LAKE OF FIRE INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY THE MILL THE SHEPHERD SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE TIMELESS HEROES: INDIANA JONES & HARRISON FORD

NETFLIX CANADA BAD BOYS II CHRONICLE CONFESS, FETCH THE CRAFT HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS IT’S COMPLICATED JULIE & JULIA MAY DECEMBER OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY PRIDE & PREJUDICE SHREK SWEET HOME (Season 2) (KR) TRANSPLANT (Seasons 1-3)

2023 FIFA MEN'S U17 WORLD CUP (TSN3) 6:48am: Third Place Match - Argentina vs. Mali

G LEAGUE BASKETBALL (TSN4) 11:00am: Maine vs. Raptors 905

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 7:00pm: Sharks vs. Devils (TSN5) 7:00pm: Sens vs. Blue Jackets

NLL LACROSSE (TSN) 7:00pm: Rush vs. Thunderbirds (TSN/TSN5) 10:00pm: Panther City vs. Warriors

NBA BASKETBALL (SN1) 7:30pm: 76ers vs. Celtics (TSN3/TSN4) 7:30pm: Knicks vs. Raptors (TSN3) 10:00pm: Nuggets vs. Suns

AMPLIFY (APTN) 7:30pm: Cree spoken word artist Zoey Roy meets with legendary Métis artist and activist Maria Campbell, who inspires a piece about the power of celebration. Zoey shares stories about her childhood and how her struggles helped inspire a rich creative spirit.

MARKETPLACE (CBC) 8:00pm: A Montreal lawyer discusses taking on the fight against Ticketmaster over its handling of concert ticket sales; a Canadian reseller shares how he scores tickets and resells them for a profit; the company's former CEO speaks out.

7TH GEN (APTN) 8:00pm: Melissa Brown is an Anishinaabe-Jamaican woman from Winnipeg who grew up in the inner city. Learn about how this entrepreneur, chef and mother is creating the change she wants to see in her community.

MY CHRISTMAS HERO (CTV Life) 8:00pm: An army reserve doctor tracks down her family's military history with the help of a new romance.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY (Slice) 8:00pm: Raising the Stakes

A PRINCE AND PAUPER CHRISTMAS (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: When a down-on-his luck confidential informant in a criminal investigation suddenly goes missing, a desperate young federal agent recruits his doppelgänger to play the role.

PLANET WONDER (CBC) 8:30pm: From farm to fork, petri dish to plate, Johanna seeks sustainability in food.

FRIDAY NIGHT THUNDER (APTN) 8:30pm: Alex Hill has been out all season struggling with anxiety, but she decides to try one race before the season ends. With the help of her team and family, she overcomes her fears and gets in a night of racing at Devil's Bowl Speedway in Texas.

THE FIFTH ESTATE (CBC) 9:00pm

CHRISTMAS UNFILTERED (CTV2) 9:00pm: On Christmas Eve, Becky wishes that her family would truly hear her. All of her thoughts and frustrations begin to spill out as she inadvertently starts telling everyone what she really thinks.

JUSTICE LEAGUE X RWBY: SUPER HEROES & HUNTSMEN PART ONE (adult swim) 9:00pm: Members of the Justice League are transported to the world of Remnant and find themselves turned into teenagers. The Remnant heroes combine forces with the Justice League to uncover why their planet has been mysteriously altered.

CHRISTMAS IN PARADISE (Crave) 9:00pm: Three quirky sisters enjoy some fun in the sun when they reunite with their estranged father in the Caribbean during the holidays.

W5 (CTV) 10:00pm: Searching for Sam; Boom Boom Chuvalo

CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm: The Deadly Night Shift

[foursdarkdays]

i like a girl lol

Sooooooooooooo ummm the title of this rant? would be "i like a girl" lmaooo Soooooo yeah theres a girl i kinda like?? its nothing serious tho but yeah i like her ig, she's not really my type tho but idk . She treats me so well i cant help it. i feel things lol. I keep checking my phone every second of the day (just did again) and it sucksssss. She kinda likes me back? atleast thats what she says . but idk i dont think so. The possibility is too narrow but yeah.

She has a boyfriend lol and its not like i care tbh cause its not like i wanna make her cheat on him something i mean she wouldnt and i wouldnt want her to. Also i know this isjust a phase for her and itll go away soon. for her or for me. Yk know i cant like someone for long especially if i dont see a possibilty of us dating. so yeah im gonna go with the flow rn. She told me that she had a crush on me since months tho but again ahh i dont think so. maybe shes overthinking . maybe she just wants to be my friend.

anywayyy soo im just going with the flow. we flirt a lot. we blush a lot. Thta bitch flirts with othets and makes me jealous lmao dumb fuck and i do the same bwahaah. sooooo yeahhhh i know after whatever this thing is ends im gonna be sad af for 2 weeks i think? cause we talk so much and its gonna be lonely. but again im a pro at moving on soooooooooo

7/10/23 (1:51am)

(im gonna keep adding the rants)

and the best thing about this is that i'm very well prepared for the heartbreak so im sure it wont hurt much lol im actually very sure about that. I always expect the worst in these things so its going to be chill. I'm sure shell come out of this phase soon and it will only be a memory for both of us. mostly in a good away tho. I'm not gonna take this too seriously and just have fun. you're flirting? okay ill flirt back. you're treating me well? ill do the same yeah thats it lol

i have a strong gut feeling that this is gonna end soon like 3-4 days? i dont know. lets see

7/10/23 (18:25)

Oh wow soooo it almost ended that day lollll but then yeah we kinda talked it out? Anyways i feel like something changed after that. I think in a good way? The obsession feelings decreased and maybe the good friendship feelings increased? I honestly have no idea and i should probably stop trying to figure it out lol. Anyway now I'm back and i think she doesn't like me anymore. Maybe I'm just over thinking? But lol nvm let's see how it goes

11/10/23 (2:05am)

Lmao bitch read this post. anyways im gonna act like no one knows about this account. Its soooooo scary i know i've told this before but its just really scary. See i have trust in myself that if IF something goes wrong ill move on fast, OKAY WHY AM I OVERTHINKING AGAIN. lets fuck this. SHES SO CUTE IM SO OBSESSED I HATE HER SO MUCH. ITS SO MUCH FUN TALKING TO HER. even though sometimes i really wanna push her off a cliff but its okay. I wanna write so much but im blank again wtf

14/10/23 (01:48am)

Why do i feel like she hates me now. Maybe she'll finally lose feelings. i mean yeah thats okay and understandable but it'll be too sudden so idk. I'm ready for anything at this point . I wanna text her but i guess ill give her space. I'll just distract myself and sleep. She has nooooooo idea about the amount of over thinking im doing rn. im so sure shes done with me and will never see my face again. lemme prepare myself. Thankfully im veryyy tired so ill fall asleep easily.

14/10/23 (9:22 pm)

i randomly have such sudden outbursts of love for this baby. i want to cup her face and kiss her whole face , i want to hug her to my chest and kiss her head and baby the fuck out of her. She's gonna cringe reading this (please dont). I want to like put our foreheads together and close my eyes and feel it yk??? i sound soooooo weird. Please dont be creeped out

15/10/23 (10;02pm)

I like her so much like so so so so so so much. Its very scary and i know for a fact that i will be hurt later but ugh its sooooo worth it. I'm sooooo happy with her. The feelings keep growing and i dont think im gonna let it stop. its okay ill let it grow. yoloooo sooo ahhhhh. We just had a pubg date sksksksk shes soooooooo ahhhhh. She flirts so confidently , i was panicking behind the pubg call sksknjiuck. anywaysssss ugh I want to kiss her sooooooooooooooooo bad like fuckkkkkkkkkk i wanttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!.

20/10/23 (01:13am)

Hiii so idk bro she says she's more obsessed with me but obviously i disagree. I think i really fell harder lol I mean it's scary af but anyways. Idk she can go for hoursssss without talking to me and be fine and me ? Lolllllll I try to text back whenever I can but she doesn't do that. Maybe I'm asking too much. Okay i should chill out fr. I don't wanna depend on anyone lol. I only want fun stuff here even though i know I'm kinda in deep but anyways it'll be okay. I know she's putting a lot of effort i shouldn't complain. I'm getting more than i deserve anyway. And I AM happy af. I just miss her i guess. I sound sooooo stupid. Ugh I hope she doesn't read this

21/10/23 (17:12)

(23/10/23) 1:40am

She didn't text me back today. But I'm gonna be understanding. I don't want to overthink. Not today . There are so many possibilities and i wanna listen to her . I really want to be understanding. Because i genuinely care . I didn't text her back till 2pm due to some valid reasons tho but anyway I feel calm now. I texted in our gc and she seen zoned but maybe she has her reasons . Let's see . I don't want to think about anything. I really hope she's alright .

It's like i want her to text me about her day and all but then I don't want to expect much i don't want her to do zyada also idk she's already treating me nicely and it makes me happy. Its honestly more than enough and I don't want to be greedy.

23/10/23 (19:12)

okay sooo ummm the reality is hitting me these days. I was okay being the side chick but its really hitting me lol. Its not like she makes me feel that way nahhh she shows that she cares. Its just that idk maybe im only stupid. she flirts with others and sends me screenshots and everytime she does that i lose little feelings. Even though she does that for fun idk. If she keeps doing this, i might actually lose feelings lol idk how to tell her that. I dont wanna bicker or anything i dont have the strenght and anyway she'll be like nooo i do it for fun only because im cool. **heavy sigh** nvm . but should i let her know? communication is good yk. i guess ill try tonight. if she doesnt fall asleep. Okay ill tell her that, rest is her wish lol .

oh yeah btw todays our 1 month anniversary???? ehehehehe

okay she fell asleep, shes really sick so i hope she feels better soon.

but anyway i keep feeling stupid lmaoooooo i need to stop feeling this way and accept it. Thats the only way lol

21:23 (30/10/23)

Wah its been long, soooo umm idk we kinda had a disagreement? i honestly dont know what that was but yeah im 1000% sure that it wasnt my fault. i took my time to write and explain everything but nah i guess shes mad at me? ofcourse she is. we didnt talk the whole day and its kinda driving me crazy but im trying to look normal. I wont text her first , not because i have ego or anything but because im not at fault here. She took things a little too far and i got triggered. But again i did explain her everything like why it triggered me and all because i didnt want any misunderstanding. But yeah shes mad at me for that? i honestly dont know what to do. is this the end of us? i dont want it to end like this. I'm not ready but i also wont text first. She needs to own up to her mistakes. I miss her. I miss her so much . please text me ughh .

its okay i guess. this is like a break for us i think i dont know how this will end up

22:56(7/11/23)

lmao i got on with a lot of thoughts in my head but as usual im black again. sooo i cant stop thinking about her and its scaring the shit out of me. Atp im pushing myself to go out with friends and family just to divert myself from thinking about her lmaooo yeah its that bad. The worst part is even k-pop idols are not helping me this time. Its always her on my mind. But ill try my best to distract myself because i feel very one sided. Its prolly not but kinda is . idk. But i'm also behaving the same way with her ig? i talk about idols and behave like they're the only ones on my mind when its absolutely false. I'm sure its not the same for her tho. she really isnt that whipped for me lol. and thats okay. ill keep trying to calm myself down . BUTTT the more i try the more i think. What do i do?

05:36am (17/11/2023)

we had a talk yesterday and it hit a nerve, It hit a wrong spot and now idk what i feel anymore. It was hurting. My heart felt like it would explode. I felt too much that i dont feel it now. No i'm not over her. It'll take time for sure but something snapped for sure. I'm taking a break today, from her. I need to analyze my feelings and emotions and think. I need to be ready for whatever is about to come. and i will be, Im strong and i can do it.

I never spoke about this or wrote it here but i think i should now. I need to analyze my feelings and write it out. I like her. i like her a lot. It was all happy happy at first, just us flirting. It wasnt that serious. But it did get serious later. A lot of feelings got involved. I know i know that she has a boyfriend and that i am a second option. I know its genuine and she really likes me. But i sometimes i wish the other way around. Everytime she mentions her boyfriend, its like a stab in my heart and reality hits me. I get distant for a bit. idk if she notices. its not her fault tho, I cant talk to people about this because i know what they're gonna say. "its all your fault, you knew she was taken but you still chased her. its all on you. you"re stupid for even hoping or wanting something from a straight taken woman" oh dont even get me started on how much it hurts when she tells me shes straight. Its gives me mixed signals. she says she wants to kiss me, hold me and do things with me and then she says shes straight. see i know sexuality is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of time and courage and thinking to come to a conclusion and tbh its okay even if she doesnt, but i cant stop my feelings and my overthinking. what if she doesnt really like me and its really just a phase shes going through. because im confident about the way i feel. i like women, i like her, romantically , emotionally and sexually.

i want her. i want her so bad even if its for a month, i want to experience how it feels like to be in a real relationship with her but i know its impossible. Like that equation doesnt even exist.

yesterday night, when she told me she loved me. i couldnt say it back. I didnt have enough energy to feel things because my heart was already hurting. Thats why im taking a break from her today, Her calling me baby , princess and whatever cute things she does , its making me feel guilty. She shouldnt do those things for me, but i want it . i dont know what im typing honeslty. i just want her so bad but i know i shouldnt. i NEED to tone down now . from my side, ill take the love shes giving me, also reciprocate. but not more than that because even i feel guilty and shes going through things because of me, she says its worth it but is it? i know that one day both of us will move on from this. I'm pretty sure we're gonna think about this and laugh but right now i want her, But i also dont , But i do. lol.

14:04 (21/11/23)

Hi, lol. I feel so much for her. like so so so so much. what we have is so precious and important to me. i dont want to let her go. As a girlfriend, yeah i guess one day we'll have to part, but as a friend? i dont want to lose her. I may sound greedy but along with her girlfriend(idk what we are but lets pretend im her girlfriend) right now, i also want to be her second best friend. Is it too much to ask ? i mean i guess it is. It hasnt been that long but our emotional bond is too strong and idk if ill ever find it anywhere else. Even if i dooo ugh idk i just want her for a long time. Even after we break up and take our time off, i want her to talk to me. This may sound selfish but yeah. I still want her to come nag to me, complain about things and share her problems, emotions etc. Relationship issues, marital issues, friendship issues, work related issues, family issues, financial issue etc like literally anyyything. I want her to feel comfy with me, I will never force her tho. I just hope things turn out this way instead of us completely falling apart. Because if it breaks , im sure itll take more than 2 years for me to open up tp anyone again. After my last ex best friend , i really shut myself off and it was lonely. I do have friends and i know they are always there for me but i cant open up to them. emotionally. But with her i can. So i want her , need her for a long time. We may drift . life is unpredictable and people change so its okay but i hope both of us try our best. I know she said she ignores and ghosts her close friends when she feels something is off and then they drift apart but i want her to really try for us. Idk if it will be worth it for her but i want her to try because i know i will. unless she wants otherwise. lol why am i having such emotions today? this is the first time im feeling this way. with us i mean. okay ill stop now.

26/11/23 22:30

I think I'm in love lol idk I tried so much to not be 'in' love and to just love her but I think I failed at it. I'm even scared to admit it to myself because I'm a coward. I still don't want to admit it to myself. I love her so much . I feel so stupid for loving someone who loves someone else. I was never like this. What is wrong with me? Idk but can it be helped? No. I know I'll move on in the future and everything will fall into place but right now ugh i love her and I feel stupid af. Like really really stupid. I'm never telling this to anyone tho. They'll make fun of me lol. They won't understand. I myself don't understand anything. I'm giving away so much of myself and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get it back like after we break up. Anyways I hope she gets well soon. She must be in a lot of pain. It hurts to even think that she might be in pain ughhhh stupid**inserts my name* get it together.

Come back soon . I feel like a zombie without you

Lol I just looked at my instgram activity and was wondering why I had spent 4 hours on Instagram yesterday when we didn't even talk. Then I realised that we did. It has only been a day but it feels like weeks? Wtf? What is going on with me. I'm scared I'm so so scared.

28/11/23 (23:43)

Happy 2 months to us lol sksksk anyways I didn't miss her yesterday. Probably because I was dealing with my own shit . Doesn't mean I like her any less. I still care . I hope she feels better soon

30/11/23 (00:19)

I googled the recovery rate and the death rate of dengue and I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I'm crying too much because I'm sick . I cry a lot when I fever like it heightens whatever I feel and now I'm worried about everything. Myself , her ahhh.

This is way too scary. New fear unlocked. I don't wanna say it but ugh just the thought of your loved one not being there hurts lol. I think I'll never move on from it. Never. So dear universe or whoever is listening to me , you've been mean to me these days , there are only 2 things that I want the most right now. The most. And I'll do anything for it. 1. Her getting well soon. 2. I need freedom from my life . Which means moving away to another country. I need these so bad. I don't care if I don't die anymore. I know I've always wanted to die and that was the only prayer in my head but now no. I want these 2 . Please please please. I won't be able to take it please ahh I'm crying again. I'm never getting attached to anyone again.

It's December already, please please please I promise that if these two things happen, I WILL NEVER NEVER EVER think about killing myself again. I promise this. I really really really promise you. But , if not , then that's it. You know I've always wanted to die , ever since 2011, so I'm giving up on this if I get the things I want. Atleast the 1st one. I won't be able to live at all.

Why am I crying so much. It's too much to handle. I feel like the nerves in my head will tear open with the strain. Its been long since I cried so much . I know I'm over thinking but why can't I fucking stop. STOP. Okay I'll just sleep .

1/12/23 (00:05)

I didnt miss her at all these last 3 days but i think i miss her a little today. I suddenly think about her and feel like crying. This is not because i miss her but idk. I feel like every bad thing happened to me at once and my mental health is at stake. 1. her being extremely sick with that deadly virus? whatever it is. 2. My uni thing. 3 me falling sick as well. i cant control my emotions when im sick. especiallllyyyy fever. i feel so weak and that stupid fever aftertaste on my tongue is making me wanna puke. i think im sleeping a lot these days. like 16 hours a day or something, maybe physcial and mental exhaustion is catching up to me. fuck this life . anygays idk i hope something good happens please. i wanna cry again lol. crying feels nice all of a sudden . its all because im sick lol. i guess ugh idk fuck this

i slept on the couch yesterday night, i think ill do the same tonight lol. i always sleep on the couch when im sick i guess??? ah im sleepy again. prolly med effect. ill eat and sleep now. i hope my baby feels almost better tomorrow. wow im sleepy af all of a sudden . no energy i think ill fall off byee

01/11/23 (20:16)

Lol i haven't written in so long ahhh yeah idk it's going okay I guess. We were having a call on gmeet with another friend of mine and she spoke about her boyfriend today. Idk what happened to me and why it happened but I cried wtf? Like wtf?????? Idk what to do anymore. It's reality I know but it's hurting. I know I'm just a ummm what am I again? No one omg fuck this

03:20 (18/11/23)

i love you

22:36(uk time zone) 11/02/24

Ah i need you so bad but i yeah i should be understanding. I’ll be. But know that i need you so bad like emotionally but im not brave enough to text you .

15/02/24 1:14pm

I love you . It feels sad now . When i think about her, my brain makes me sad lol. Whenever i imagine fake scenarios with her my brain keeps constantly reminding me that im just delulu and nothing will ever happen. I already know that but lemme be happy? i keep thinking about the break up that will happen soon when she gets engaged. I know there’s time, there’s a lot of time but i can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like it’s always there at the back of my mind. I just wanna be delulu , carefree and happy. I don’t wanna think much okay bye

29/02/24(2:30am)

I hope you dont see this but I’m so sorry. There are so many thoughts running in my head rn. I feel like im ruining something perfect. i mean you and him. I know nothing will change , yall are the end game and i dont want that to change. But the guilt is hittinf me these days. Am i that bad? Am i that selfish? What am i supposed to do? Shouldi stop? I dont want to stop but i dont want to be so selfish. Am i really a homewrecker? fuck

(12:06)

(PLEASE DONT READ THIS IM BEGGING YOU)

Ouch. That stung. Very bad. Ahh i can feel my heart breaking into pieces and im having a breakdown. I feel so so so helpless. I really can't do anything about this. I have no way out now do i? Please universe please please help me please.

I'll do anything. Hold me from breaking apart every time. I should be used to this by now?

Right? It's been so long. It should be normal. But as the days go by i can't take it. I'm breaking so bad. This is why i hate love so much. Only pain and hurt. But do you think i can let go? No. The most dumb and stupid award should be given to me. I hate everything

6:46 (19/8/24)

I want a day where it doesn't hurt me anymore.

But i guess that day will be the day im not in love anymore and I've completely lost feelings. I dont want that.

7:06

I love myself too much. I want to be happy. I will be happy. Me me me me and only me.

Every time i close my eyes her Instagram story flashes ahhh i want amnesia. I want to hid my head somewhere and lose all my 24 years memories. It hurts THAT much. Or maybe I'm over reacting too much. Its prolly the latter lol ok.

But i know its something she can't help too so lol both of us are helpless. Im just opening up here and she's not. Now i need to give my brain some rest. I'll be offline the whole day to heal

7:47

Why do you keep hurting me so much. Why do you always sabotage us for everything. Every minor inconvenience you get you let it affect us. Bro even on our one year anniversary? Is it not special to you? I’m so hurt but I’m even scared to tell you that.

1/10/24

[blackvail22]

10/01/23

12:48am - i always have my hopes up... i always want the best possible outcome to happen. everything needs to go right... it just has to. i need to keep low expectations. he doesnt care, and if he wants to leave me on read on two different platforms for 7 hours, hey... who am i to judge? i knew this would happen.

im the sad girlfriend, the one that overthinks constantly. i cant help it.. its something i was taught. so many ppl around me keep lying, and im tired of it. so many things im anxious and overthinking do end up happening.

i want to be happy, but i cant let myself .. i sabotage myself, doing things i know i shouldnt, and its... killing me.

i mnew things being at a high would make my lows go even lower

at this rate ill need my counselor every 3 days after my appointments because I AM STRUGGLING

also i think i developed some sort of ... something w my science teacher last year because every time i see photos of him my heart stops and i almost start crying. i would always want to look the best esp for his class like i never wanted to be a mess near him... so thats unhealthy!

but i am struggling.... what's new!!!!

12:31pm - yesterday did have some fun parts though, and i habe to remember that. my friends visited me at work yesterday before they went to homecoming, and i had fun with my coworker. i focus on the negative a lot... its a habit i need to get rid of

2:20pm - thinking abt how my new coworker invalidated my identity like u dont have to be androgynous to go by they/them, just like u dont have to be masculine to go by he/him and feminine to go by she/her.... like...

11:50pm - im not going to lie, i really dont want to work tomorrow. that means i only have one day off this week... even though my shift tomorrow is only three hours, thats three hours i could spend in my bed after my appointment. and i have to wake up early tomorrow to do a lab that the place i went to couldnt do for my appointment tmrw... im so stressed out. oh, also, someone i went to school with and have mutual friends with said to me today they dont remmeber me at all,, and that kinda sucks! i mean, i didnt talk too much, but you still have to at least notice me... we have mutual friends... she sat behind me in lunch??? during our music department trip, we talked to each other. all well. it doesnt matter anymore, does it?

i cant stop feeling sorry for myself. if i want change with myself, i have to di it... why is it so hard? i really want to live in someone elses body... im sososo tired of mine. i want a different life and different experiences. i want to live in my ideal world, and its impossible now...