#it. should. have. been. the paternoster gang!!! >:(
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Just imagine for a moment we live in a timeline where the paternoster gang got their own televised spin off. Vastra and jenny are covered in blood and making out sloppy style on bbc television.
It is glorious…
#taken from the tags of a previous post#cuz it was too good to leave there#what a world to live in#it should have been us#it should have been our timeline#doctor who#dw#doctor who spinoffs#the paternoster gang#madame vastra#jenny flint#sapphic representation
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See, what I love about this is that it implies the eventual existence of a spin off that would fill the centre of this Venn diagram…
i just finished episode 1 of class heres my review
[ID: 3 way venn diagram. circle 1: "getting covered in blood and also gay kissing"; circle 2: "former companion gets companions"; circle 3: "dr. who shows up". torchwood is in the intersection of circles 1 and 2, the sarah jane adventures is in the intersection of circles 2 and 3, and class is in the intersection of circles 1 and 3. /end ID]
#it. should. have. been. the paternoster gang!!! >:(#we were robbed#just imagine it vastra and jenny covered in blood and making out sloppy style on bbc television#glorious#doctor who#doctor who spinoffs#whoniverse#torchwood#sarah jane adventures#class#doctor who memes
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Hot take: The crimson Horror should have been a doctor-lite story. The paternoster gang should have only found the dr at least 3/4 into the story
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This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me in my life. The only exciting thing!
Bill! I've been writing with a friend while watching s10 and this friend really doesn't like m*ffat, and I think by s10 all goodwill had run out and they do tend towards the most negative read of every episode, and bill as character generally
and look, bill is introduced with a truly stupid, fatphobic, rambly-in-a-bad-way bit of dialogue. we breathe deeply. we remember that we're here to do a rating and so this will be included in that. but also that there are many many facets of bill's character that are very interesting, fun, and different to anything we've seen since m*ffat took the helm on this show, and that this line -- while fucking... argh... is not repeated. but also just never should have existed to begin with
(also oh gosh, fatphobia as sexism and/or as political... it's really both isn't it, it's going on both, y'all making your first lesbian main character say fatphobic shit, c'mon!)
sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 7/10
sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 10/10
interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 8/10
furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 7/10
companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 8/10
the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10
doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 7/10
isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10
internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10
Politics (how conservative is the story): 7/10
FULL RATING: 78/100 (if I can count….)
m*ffat where was this energy five seasons ago???
OBJECTIFICATION: I knocked a whole three points off just for that "joke" to be honest. this episode is otherwise pretty good at writing its female characters, bill and heather
it's especially as a counterpoint to the paternoster gang, where lesbianism = sexy master/servant powerplay in leather, and look- look I am not averse to that as concept
but written my m*ffat on doctor who? yeurgh
point is, that's not bill and heather
PLOT-POINT: bill is the POV character in a way none of the other companions were in their first episodes (barring amy as a kid, but as an adult, not so much anymore). the doctor is some weirdo but compelling professor at her college, which she works at and secretly goes to classes at, her potential relationship with heather is what sets off the plot and carries it throughout, and is what drives the ending
it's pretty neat on the whole. my friend's main angry point about this episode (well one of them) was that bill was totally unconcerned with what happened with heather/that it should have had a bigger effect on her longrunning and... yehhh I'm not not in agreement but I do think that with doctor who being a bit of a bullshit-science type show in which characters don't die in a number of ways + that I know heather comes back at the end + there's that setup that they'll probably see heather again + the focus on bill's character as being in the closet to her foster mum (foster or adoptive, I've forgotten now) and working in a canteen and just not really knowing where her life is going and all of that wrapped up in meeting heather and that adventure with the doctor... it does work on the whole
it could have been more I do think that, especially heather's character, whom we know basically nothing about other than that she was probably depressed and wanted to travel places, but I think bill's emotions are far more grounded and long-reaching and important to the story than amy's or clara's ever were and this already in episode one
maybe I'm just happy to see something but I do think it's also something done -- for the most part -- quite well
COMPLEXITY: this plot as a mystery is quite fun. bill is just as much figuring out the doctor as she is the mystery of the puzzle. as such, it's kind of a slow-burnish that's not massive in scope, but I think it's rather delightful
CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: new companion called bill whom we already know a fair bit about, woman in a puddle, mystery in the cellar, nardole is still there, the doctor is having a bit of an emotional Time (when are they not -- but it's an evolving emotional Time)
COMPANIONS MATTER: bill does a lot in this episode, which is extra great because she's so new. it's a lot of questions, but also a lot of proactive behaviour, and it's also questions that are about bill learning and not about acting as a sounding board for the doctor all the time
“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the doctor is mainly trying to stay out of things, and then bill drags them into things, and it's a bit about emotions and a bit about becoming a (grand)parental figure to bill, who needs some support, I like that this is the impetus that gets the doctor involved in the story... well, that and can't resist a mystery of course. and boredom. multitudes
also a defining thing the doctor does is go back in time and take some pictures of bill's mum for her. this is simply done out of kindness (and it doesn't hurt that it affects a later plot)
PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: I really like the callbacks in this one, it really says some stuff about the doctor-as-character where they currently are -- that is, looking with melancholy at the past. funnily enough, with river and susan on the same desk, it kind of ties river to that past more effectively than the show managed to do during her actual episodes, I feel
also by putting susan there, it says a lot about how the doctor is going to be interacting with bill. a very different kind of dynamic to any we've had before on nu!who
“SEXINESS”: I've put this highly, as I don't remember anything. generally this season I haven't remembered if there's anything (actually no lies, one thing just popped up, but not this episode), so I'll just have to operate on that assumption and... maybe take notes for the latter half. but I think we're relatively free of this anyway, considering a lot of the heteronormativity has been removed from the show at this point
INTERNAL WORLD: there is a university and bill lives with her foster mum because her mother is dead, and she works in the canteen and sneaks into lectures. honestly an old university is the perfect place for the doctor to hide, tenured professors are like cryptids
there's a biiit less on the queer side of things, and there will be throughout the season. this not to say that bill is not definitely a lesbian, in a way where I'd say (controversially perhaps) that clara never felt queer to me
but simply that it doesn't seem like bill's involved much in queer culture, and that culture doesn't affect the plot as such. I'm okay with this, I think there's still a lot to be said for how bill's lesbianism already affects the text for the better, but it is the point and I am doing this particular rating, so it should be said
POLITICS: I mean to strip bill to box-ticking (not in a bad way) for a second, but she's a black, working-class lesbian who's living with a straight, white foster mother, whom she's not out to
and she is the hero of the story. she's funny, she's kind, she sees things, she asks good questions, and she remembers very very well and applies what she learns to the situations she's in. while one might ask whether some of these aspects of her could have been explored more throughout her run, it's fair I think to say that they are explored and are recurring parts of her story and affect how she sees and moves through the world
I also think there's just something about this weird professor type seeing her in turn, singling her out as special, which is such a different way to how m*ffat has written the doctor opposite women since s2, in which only women who are suitably Special in particular ways (through being "well-bred" and "highly educated" and essentially very classist ideas of being from the right background, or by first being introduced as a mystery and then later as a character)
dare I say... he might have learnt something?
which is why, to bring the mood down for a second, her fatphobic ramble feels out of character for who we later learn she is, and just feels more like a throwaway joke on the side of m*ffat to show that... idk actually what it's meant to show. that bill rambles? that she's slightly awkward? and of course m*ffat doesn't know that fatphobia is a thing (I imagine) and so wouldn't have wanted to write it to show that bill has unexamined bigotries (which could be interesting, but not done in this way or with this character or with the themes of this season), especially is we're kiiind of seeing bill flirt with that woman in a later scene?
(I also think this ramble is weird in terms of how it describes the doctor, it's so nonsensical. is it implying the doctor was essentially sexually harassing this unknown woman? this unknown woman that she also objectifies before we even get to the fatphobia???)
I should actually just include it as a reminder to people, because it really does suck: "Okay, so my first day here, in the canteen, I was on chips. There was this girl. Student. Beautiful. Like a model, only with talking and thinking. She looked at you and you perved. Every time, automatic, like physics. Eye contact, perversion. So I gave her extra chips. Every time, extra chips. Like a reward for all the perversion. Every day, got myself on chips, rewarded her. Then finally, finally, she looked at me, like she'd noticed, actually noticed, all the extra chips. Do you know what I realised? She was fat. I'd fatted her. But that's life, innit? Beauty or chips. I like chips. So did she. So that's okay."
I am not negating that this was terribly written and offensive, but I do think it's also at odds with later bill and I don't take it in as part of her character, so much as a massive bit of bad writing on the m*ffat's part, same as, say, when the doctor grabbed jenny and kissed her without her consent, which would be a character-ruiner for me if I decided that that was part of my canon. this isn't quite as bad as that, but it's not a great way to introduce a character that you're meant to root for, and also just... I mean not that there aren't fatphobic lesbians but c'mon, you're showing an ostensibly queer perspective and you're turning her into a bloke????? nah nah nah, fuck right off with that
FULL RATING: 78/100 (if I can count….)
it's frankly wild how far and fast this jumped for the first episode of the season. its main detractor, really is that joke, and perhaps the general limitations in including a queer culture to bill's queer identity, but bill is -- on the whole -- fantastic and immediately shifts the show into a completely different gear
I feel like it's a shame she came here at the end, after a lot of people had dropped off, not just for one season in and of herself, but the final season of this entire era. it's a lot of weight to carry and I think pearl mackie does a fantastic job
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we're back
youre trying so fucking hard to set up this unit spin off. im going to be horribly honest with you: i dont really care, and i think this is such a corny way to do it. i think torchwood (the show) is something people see with rose-tinted glasses a lot of the time, but i do think its slower introduction to the characters, completely isolated to its own tv show, made more sense. i feel like this weird vibe of just setting up these big personalities who all neatly fit into the exact archetypes you'd Expect... i dont know. i dont care for any of them. i love big weird non human robot-adjacent entities and i dont even care. and that fucker has cable-like tentacles too. i should be sold.
i think its also cuz they are like so obviously these Scifi archetypes for shows like this which is fine but leading first with a quickfire round of rather than getting a softer introduction to them just sort ofmakes them feel like fake cartoons. i think thats sorta why ive never truly warmed to paternoster gang too.
like i think my issue - and im welcome to be proved wrong, whenever we do get this unit spinoff - is i feel like its leading with the idea of "i want a spinoff" first rather than an attempt to fill a specific niche or hole for stories. i feel like sja and torchwood were both very specifically shows that would be in the universe, but would cater to things that would not suit the proper show, and had their own cast driving it.
like i'll be honest i like kate but ummmm im not sure i like her enough to follow her into a spin off. LOL.
sorry thats my hater era over im 2 seconds in
oh no nevermind i also hate big budget takes itself too seriously bullshit wheres the losers
is rose still meant to be like 15. her in business casual for the day job at unit.
okay The Vlinx.
WHYS THERE A LITTLE BEEFCAKE SECURITY GUARD. IS HE LIKE YOUR LITTLE BOYTOY, UNIT? sorry hes not even my typ. harriets really cute though
sorery i still dgaf
rtd and his anagrams. christ.
ive been laughing all day about a reddit comment that said "rtd is a" and i cant stop laughing at it and i dont know anyone who will find that funny in my life so i cant even
WHY ARE THEY JUST FUCKING
SORRY THATS SO FUNNY THEY WERE LIKE LETS QUICKFIRE ADDRESS THE STUPID MYSTERY BOXES. SUSAN. TARDIS... S TRIAD.... SUSAN AGAIN.
i really fucking hope it isnt susan. people have said it before but i just feel like ive always liked the idea of jsut leaving her be. dont revisit it. its fine.
sorry help me why are they just pulling everything out help me
i feel like theyre trying to be too meta about it and not in like a clever way its just like a lets state the obvious to everyoneits that vclassic TELLING NO SHOWING that i feel like christ it keeps ... feeling like the writing is doing that so much
CAN ANYONE TALK ABOUT HOW NCUTI LOOKS IN THE LEATHER JACKET BTW?
soery its like not even 10 minutes in and im like already feeling like a hater i just i dont know i feel like so im fine with them cashing in on nostalgia and being a bit self aware in finales sometimes but i feel like this and then the trilogy last year... LOOK most dw finales and special eps of the nu era are kind of rooted in some sort of classic right its like dalek dalek cyberman master dalek lets go to gallifrey for this one but its like still at least one thing sorry im sick of it i dont wanna see mel any more i dont wanna be in unit CAN WE FOLLOW THE DOCTOR AND RUBY see them figuring it out PLEAAASEEE they can point out its obvious its fine but the fucking round table discussion
SORRY I KNOW ITS BEEN THE HOT TOPIC ITS LIKE THE WAY THIS SEASON HAS GONE TOO FAST CUZ ID SAY A LOT OF THE EPS WERE GOOD IN THE END BUT ITS LIKE SO MANY OF THEM WERE TOO HARD DEPARTURES FROM WHAT WE REALLY NEED WHICH IS JUST
TIME WITH RUBY AND THE DOCTOR . PLEASE.
nevermind i love mel on the moped
ugh ive been wanting a bike for so long but i keep hjearing about so many accidents i wanna kms in a controlled environment
my second thought btw: i think one of my favourite season finales will always be s4's. and yes that does also bank on this big, lets have ALL OF THESE PEOPLE COME TOGETHER!!! and have one huge crossover event even if the story isnt as good. but as ivealways said: that works because its earned through four seasons of building up all of those individual characters. it can stand on that legwork thats already been done. i just dgaf otherwise. its why, and maybe this is controversial, i can never give a shit about a good man goes to war. (although i also loathe that because that storyline does my fucking HEAD IN)
im also hating this so hard im not even far enough in sorry i just love to hateeeeeeeeeee
help e christ if it wasnt for reddit i would not fucking recognise anyones fucking face is hat the same woman i mean rby also isnt clocking her does she have some fucking perception filter on . missus flood what is up with you
missus flood what even is wrong with you
"why did you never go back to see her?"
because susan was lowkey annoying af
SORRY
SORRY WOMEN
i also do wanna know: if hes mentioned her face popping up a lot, are they not scanning their fucking databases for matches. like thats definitely technology they have. lets be so for real
AGAIN SORRY THE OTHE RTHING I HATE ABOUT IT IS THE TIME SINK IT IS GREAT LETS HAVE OUR INTRODUCTIONS AND HAPPY WOOPEEEES AND MEETING THE TEN BILLION FUCKING PEOPLE WE'RE BRINGING ALONG WHEN THEYRE REALLY NOT ENRICHING THE EPISODE AND ITS JUST WEARING EVERYTHING SO THIN DUDE COME ON OH WAIT HANG ON LETS INTERRUPT THE FLOW AGAIN TO BRING IN SOMEONE ELSE AND STOP IT!! EEEENOUGH!
(again with the way s4 finale was handled: i think it was really good the way they had everyone sort of... separated out? they had them all cleanly following their own plots. so it didnt make shit a fucking mess.)
caralas literally chill w can bring carla
Do you have a time window. Ten floors down. classic shit.
i think i also ironically did i say this bit already i fucking hate trying to do big... sci-fi organisations like this trying to fight the aliens or villains or whatever. sorry just a taste thing. like compare this to how torchwood was presented in s2. it just feels like we're thriving in it and im not a fan of them being our unapologeticbesties we swing around and giggle with. can we get some nasty fucking vibes in here please. i loved when capaldi was a cunt with them.
this is also why i refuse to ever engage with the avengers content
christmas eve 2004. god shesso young. (im 4 years older literally).
sorry i also hate mystery box companion bullshit fuck off can we not just get some cunt from the local
SORRY I JUST THINK RTD FINALES ARE SO BADLY CAMP SOMETIMES
i keep thinking about how she looks like jodie i think its the boots with the ankles sort of poking out
thats my bad aura sorry i was hating too hard
NOT THE BOYTOYS
THEYRE PICKING OFF THE BOYTOYS
theres that irony again of like they'll sit there and do a whle bit like haha duh ofc we know its an anagram DUHHH but then half the dialogue is just fucking . SAYING SHIT STRAIGHTFORWARD AND OUTRIGHT SHUT UP
hes in hell. god damn it. i hate it when i lose my boytoys and he ends up in hell
imagine if this was the beast from the satans pit
what a hilarious hater moment that would be
sorry now I- UMMMMM THE BOYTOY IS DUSTTT AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
colonel winston is making me giggle. lke the monkey. guys i dont know anything abou overwatch but that monkey makes me laugh
guys we're on susan watch
shes going to be the dumbest red herring ever isnt she amen shes just nothing please rtd you fuckerr- DOCTOR CALM DOWN
CAN WE GET HIM A FUCKING STIM TOY
CAN WE GET HIM A BLUEBERRY MATCHA
CAN WE GET HIM SOMETHING TO COPE WITH
so cool we brought an image of this thing up before and it wrecked our shit lets do it again hell yeah come on
harriet i need you
SHES NOT HER ITS SO FUNNY
EVERYU TIME SOME CRAZY BITCH NAMED SUSAN APPEARS DO YOU DO THIS.
BRO DOES THAT MEAN THESE GIRLIES WRE CONNECTED HELP ME IMAGINE IF THAT WAS SUSAN AND NOW SHES JUST STUCK WITH THE FUCKING MEMORIES OF RAISING LINDY. COME ON SUSAN. BREAK THE FUCKING TRAUMA CYCLE. YOU DIDNT NEED TO RAISE HER LIKE THAT MAN.
can we get the tardis a ginger ale
THAT FUCKING CAMERA ANGLE BEING A FAKEOUT FOR A FUCKING RUBY SUNDAY THIS WHOLE THING IS A TV SHOW SHTICK IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY
SUSAN TRIAD DOING THIS IN AN EMPTY CROWD IS SO FUNNY
SUSAN TRIAD YOU HAVE TO GET IT TOGETHER GIRL THEY'LL BE CLIPPING BITS OF THIS ON TWITTER
the king innit
HARRIET ARBINGERRRRRR YESSSSSSS
SLAYYYYYYYY
NEVERMIND THAT BIT GOT ME A PRETTY WOMAN WILL GET ME SOOO EASY
TRICKSTER MENTION IS INSANE
her children doubt and dreaddddd so silly
WHOS THIS HATER
SUTEKH
THATS SO FUCKINGH FUNNY
HUNDREDS OF REDDITORSARE PUNCHING THE AIR. MAYBE EVEN TENS
I LOVE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT
SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH RUBY
HELP ME I SPENT SO LONG BEING A HATER I DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT SUTEKH SORRY CLASSIC FANS
ANYWAYS
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Dear Tia,
I am scared of pressuring you, but it is rather difficult to keep track of whether anonymous asks have been answered already. And I saw you answering asks and just wanted to check in whether you have gotten around to my ao3 asks yet. So that if you have, I can go scavenge for them :)
I hope you are having a good day <3
(And don't listen to the River haters; I pity them, it is so much better to love her)
ao3-anon
OH SHIT I AM SO SORRY. I genuinely thought you're the same participant. Or maybe it's two? Idrk 🥹 but anyways here are my answers. And I'm assuming (🥹) that these previous asks came from the same person? So I'm grouping them into this ask too.
– one
When I wrote that DNW, I was in a messy headspace (heh) so I just wanted lighthearted fluff stuff. However, it's also okay for me to have a few angsty moments while keeping the overall fic lighthearted in feels.
Playful DoctorRiver banter? Sure! They're fine for me.
I'm a bit partial to River but if the situation fits for Mels, go ahead! Same goes for using another regeneration of the Doctor.
– two
I am glad to say that I've been doing my best to sleep before 12 am 🫶🏻✨ (except last night. that was a fluke. and totally @croxxbunx's fault 🙄)
Aw thank you! I totally missed writing fanfics 🥹
I am proud to say I'm quite good at drumming up endless prompts. I'm just rubbish at moving it from prompt-level to fic-level lol
– three
I didn't include it since the questions have been answered but thank you for the hug!! 🫂
–
On another note, I just remembered how I came up with that prompt in the first place. I found it amusing to put the Paternoster Gang in a situation where they have to deal with DoctorRiver shenanigans but in a sort of loop. Cause I have this headcanon that the Gang are sort of like parental figures to River. And also provide marriage counseling on the side. And the fun Strax and young!River, who's still quite attached to her guns, would have together!
I mean we all know how the TARDIS totally adores her Water, right? So she makes River a room full of weapons and she and Strax have such a fun time there. Totally for the glory of the Sontaran Empire of course.
Like just imagine young!River, new to Luna U, struggling to be more 'human' than 'weapon'. Fighting the urge to punch/shoot first, ask second. Here comes along the Gang, who shows her how to find her balance, who comforts her and assures her it's okay to hold a weapon while also holding her back from going on a rampage at the slightest grievance.
Strax also had a nursing stint, yes? He nurses River's wounds (you really should be more careful, boy. you are not a strong and mighty Sontaran.) and teaches her how to take care of different kinds of wounds and how to fight for the glory of the Sontaran Empire. I can just hear baby River's giggle and see her bright eyes taking in everything Strax teaches her.
Jenny and Madame Vastra. Feminominons of the Victorian Era. Also River's badass mothers who try to teach her empathy and etiquette, how to give as good as she gets. I like to imagine them dropping in on River and making sure she's eating well, helping her study. (They also totally had nothing to do with the disappearance of the Professor who tried to claim her essay as their own. Absolutely not.)
#dw headcanons#doctor who#river song#the paternoster gang#madame vastra#jenny#strax#eleventh doctor#the paternoster gang is river's family#argue with the wall#the tardis#thanks for the ask!#totally sorry it took so long 🥹#anon
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okay, new system is a-go, next thing is how many slots go to each category. My current thought process is to pick a number for nominees and make the slots for the other categories proportional fo their size. So for example, if 8 slots went to nominations, there would be 56 left for the regulars which breakes down into 27 for classic, 16 for nu, and 13 for eu.
I'll copy the information from last time under a cut for anyone who didn't see, also I have added Anji to the list for eu, I'm considering the members of the paternoster gang but i think that's going to end up being a no
for the following numbers, they go classic-nu-eu-noms
I made a mistake, the option for 9 noms should read 27-15-13-9
Okay so, I've been trying to come up with a new system for the tournaments vefore the head to head rounds. Even thouh its still a while off, we will be getting a new companion, I would guess, some time in the next year. Currently to accomodate a new companion one of the regulars would have to go, I just about managed to find a good pick for Ruby's introduction but there is just nobody I think should go this time around.
So new system, my current proposal is to make the regulars list subject to elimination in the group stage. But, I still want to guarantee particular numbers of slots for classic, new, and eu companions which would let most of the regulars through, and then whatever is left over is for nominees.
What this lets me do is expand the list of regulars somewhat. I'll put the full list im currently thinking of under the cut, as there's no such thing as too many. Don't take the list as final, I'm open to adding a couple more, although I will say they should either be undisputably companions or some very special case where they are as well known as a companion from the same era/medium, additionally they should be someone who you think is likely to nominated in most tournaments. This is going to be a lower bar for eu companions but whatever.
currently I am thinking 27 slots for classic companions, 16 for nu, 13 for eu and 8 for nominations, but I will put the specific numbers up to a vote later in the week
sorry if this is confusing, I promise it will be simple once it gets going, but yeah
Classic
Ian Chesterton
Barbara Wright
Susan Foreman
Sara Kingdom
Katarina
Vicki Pallister
Steven Taylor
Dodo Chaplet
Ben Jackson
Polly Wright
Jamie McCrimmon
Victoria Waterfield
Zoe Heriot
The Brigadier
Sergeant Benton
Liz Shaw
Mike Yates
Jo Grant
Sarah-Jane Smith
Harry
Leela
K9
Romana I
Romana II
Adric
Nyssa
Tegan Jovanka
Vislor Turlough
Kamelion
Peri Brown
Mel Bush
Ace McShane
Grace Holloway
Chang Lee
nu
Rose Tyler
Mickey Smith
Adam Mitchell
Jack Harkness
Martha Jones
Wilfred Mott
Donna Noble
River Song
Amy Pond
Rory Williams
Kate Stewart
Clara Oswald
Handles
Bill Nardole
Nardole
Yazmin Khan
Graham O'Brien
Ryan Sinclair
Dan Lewis
Ruby Sunday
EU
Charley Pollard
Evelyn Smythe
Lucie Miller
Liv Chenka
Bernice Summerfield
Fitz Kreiner
Frobisher
Iris Wildthyme
Sam Jones
C'rizz
Alison Cheney
Compassion
Chris Cwej
Izzy SInclair
Helen Sinclair
Hex Schofield
Anji Kapoor
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this setting is wonderful but the paternoster gang should be here (ignoring the fact that 1814 is about 70 years too early for them, there could have been some loophole around that come on)
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How would I pitch a DWCU?
With a lot of renewed discussion about the idea of Doctor Who spin-offs in light not just of RTD's interest, but also the Disney+ deal and other rumours, I wanted be a bit self-indulgent and do a post showing what kind of ideas I would be pushing if I were in his shoes.
With these I've tried to include variety in genres, settings, and structure, so story ideas wouldn't overlap and there would be room for creativity. In general the aim has been to keep away from the typical "modern day Earth Defence" / "exploring the universe" DW clone ideas that often get pitched, since things can quickly get redundant there - especially if you start having series centred around past companions and/or other Doctors. While Torchwood and SJA worked, even that I thought was pushing it.
While some of these are more of less building on existing ideas, there's a couple I've put a lot of thought into (eg. in the case of Citadel, I've been playing with series outlines and episode-by-episode plans for almost a decade!), pulling from what we've learned from previous attempts like Class.
CITADEL
A "Thrones"-like political thriller, telling the story of Rassilon's rise and fall on ancient Gallifrey, from his campaign against the Last Pythia, to the Eternal Vampire War, to the Anchoring of the Thread, to his disappearance into the Dark Tower. A tale of progress, revolution, war, imperialism and corruption. Combining decades of (often contradictory) DWEU lore from dozens of authors into one complete story, CITADEL features many familar figures from the TIme of Legend, including Omega, Tecteun, Patience, I.M. Foreman, Vandekirian, Thremix, and, perhaps... the Doctor? This would be perhaps the most ambitious series, but one I think could potentially appeal not just to fans, but also to new audiences. I also think now is a good time for it in terms of the greater franchise, given the Timeless Child revelations, Jo Martin's Doctor and some interesting Dark Times details introduced in the Time Lord Victorious storyline and Flux. The biggest challenge IMO would be to tell a complete story without destroying all the mystery of the era - so there'd definitely be a need for ambiguous situations and unreliable narrators. Some plot threads (eg. the exact connection with the Doctor, did Rassilon really kill Omega) would need to be simply hinted at and left unresolved, rather than explicitly explained. The show could potentially also be treated "Fire and Blood"-style as a possible account, rather than the definitive history.
DOCTOR WHO: THE ANIMATED SERIES
A hybrid CG/2D animated anthology series telling stories starring past Doctors, companions and other characters, ranging from classic stories featuring duos like the Eighth Doctor and Charley, to side trips revisiting one-off characters like The Ghost, or catching up with departed companions like Bill, Romana and Leela. The series would double as a testing ground for returning characters, and potentially backdoor pilots for other series (eg. "Doctor Who: Unbound", or an Eighth Doctor limited series). I think it would be great opportunity to get creative without requiring too much investment. It could more or less be Big Finish in an animated, on-screen medium. While stories would be largely standalone by default, there's also plenty of room for crossthrough story arcs.
PATERNOSTER ROW
A series starring the Paternoster gang remains a good choice, even if audience familiarity will have dropped off quite a bit by now. As with a number of these series, while alien incursion stories would be a possible choice, I would personally push for more mystery / detective stories instead, since that genre isn't covered elsewhere. I think PATERNOSTER ROW would work pretty well for a younger audience, but would be best keeping some serious tones in the same way SJA did - eg. there should definitely be deaths in their investigations. While Strax is excellent comedic relief, I would also want to take his character a bit more seriously, closer to his debut in A Good Man Goes to War, exploring his role as a 'nurse' and his relationship with Sontaran culture, considering that he could in some ways be considered a parallel to the Doctor.
UNIT
Another often suggested spin-off, and the one I think might be closest to actually happening sometime soon given the ending of Power of the Doctor, UNIT would be the one "Earth Defence" show I would allow, as well as the one which would be most likely to crossover with the main show. In some ways, it would be a Torchwood successor, though would not approach the same maturity of that show. Along with fighting alien invasions, it could also have a more X-files-ish, conspiracy/investigatory tone, playing with things like the Black Archive, along with internal conflict between the science and military sides of the organisation, especially with its own funding troubles in recent years - perhaps with a splintering into UNISYC being a major plot point? Obvious characters include Kate Stewart, Osgood and potentially the Big Finish UNIT cast. Martha would be a good choice too, along with UNIT one-offs like Malcolm, Bambera, and Magambo. With Kate's line in the last episode, I think UNIT could potentially also be a hub show not just for bringing in past companions as guest stars, but also potentially other characters like the Class and DW Redacted cast
SUMMERFIELD AND SONG
Newly released from Stormcage, Dr. River Song teams up with her old Luna University lecturer Professor Bernice Summerfield to uncover ancient secrets in this ongoing buddy-archeologist adventure series set in the 52nd Century. But even now, free at last to live her life, can River escape the watchful eyes of her old guardians? And why is Benny in this time, away from her friends and family in the 27th century? Along with River and Benny, returning characters include Irving Braxiatel, Professor Arthur Candy, Tasha Lem, John Hart and more. Along with being the long suggested River spin-off, the series also doubles as a continuation and soft-reboot of Benny's franchise, introducing her to general audiences, picking up after her most recent stories.
I, DAVROS
A spiritual adaptation of its namesake Big Finish series as well as the main range story 'Davros', I, DAVROS is something of a model for the more unique experimental spin-offs I'd like to see. Following loosely from threads introduced in The Magician's Apprentice / The Witch's Familiar, I imagine this as a limited miniseries (or perhaps even a single TV special/movie?) focusing on Davros, exploring his history and psyche, while also featuring a present day story that could tie-in to a return in the main show.
DOCTOR WHO: REGENERATED
More or less just the idea of an official version of my Doctor Who Regenerated edits, in which whole classic episodes can be remastered, colourised and edited for a re-release for modern audiences (I personally like the idea of new cuts with more modern pacing, episode lengths etc., but a restored version of the original cut would have to be available too). The project could also see the reconstruction, editing and/or restaging of missing episodes, even if it requires being creative with the constraints - eg. a painted, hand-animated version of Marco Polo, with a live-action framing device with Polo's diaries. A lot of this understandably sounds like a pipe dream, but from my own experience and research I honestly do think that film technology is getting to the point where this could be achieved with a realistic budget.
MASTER WHO
Like I, Davros, MASTER WHO would be a one-off limited mini-series focusing on a villain, in this case the Master, who effectively co-opts the show from the Doctor (hence the logo). This is another series, like Citadel, that we're kind-of in a perfect position for, given the Master's attempt to steal the Doctor's identity and body in the last episode. I imagine the series exploring the Master's current internal conflict, having gone back to their old ways since the Vault, yet ending up stuck in a state of self-hatred.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
TORCHWOOD - an obvious choice for a series or movie, given it's already recognisable even to non-fans, but would depend greatly on good-will for a John Barrowman return, and I don't think would work without Jack. It also would be redundant with UNIT, at least if they were both in the same medium, though a Torchwood movie + a UNIT series combo could potentially work.
If I did bring it back I would also continue leaning into the dark high-concept style of Children of Earth and Miracle Day (with big ideas akin to something like Black Mirror or Years and Years), though would probably aim to bring back the Cardiff Hub given how iconic it is.
CLASS: ONGOING - of course I'll mention this! But I will acknowledge that, even if there was a large enough demand, actors aging would make an on-screen continuation difficult at this point. Doesn't mean elements or characters couldn't return in something like UNIT, or they couldn't be revisted in the Animated Series.
GALLIFREY - I'd love to see an onscreen series like the Gallifrey audios, to potentially interweave with the main show over a relative time "modern day setting", but of course Gallifrey isn't exactly around right now... It would also be redundant to air it at the same time as Citadel.
As I've mentioned before, I think there would be so much you could explore with a post Time War / Hell Bent Gallifrey and I think Chibnall kinda squandered the opportunity, personally, as much as I've enjoyed much of the Timeless Child arc. A shame really.
Tangentially related series (THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, DIRK GENTLY, BLAKE'S 7) - this I think would be a really clever way to go if you wanted some more content without burning out DW, since you could reuse elements, props etc. and potentially do some crossover stuff (imagine a character like Chronotis popping between series, complete with explicitly shown TARDIS!). These are often rumoured for possible reboots/revivals so there's already interest there. I haven't included them as they're kinda in a different category. but did mock up a Hitchhiker's logo:
#Doctor Who#Bernice Summerfield#River Song#The Paternoster Gang#UNIT#Gallifrey#Torchwood#Rassilon#Davros#The Master#The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy#Doctor Who Regenerated#Doctor Who EU
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Paternoster Secret Santa - FAQ
I have (a bit belatedly) realised that I have not yet shared the FAQ for this exchange here! If further questions arise, please do let me know via DM!
So, what is the Doctor Who Paternoster Gang Secret Santa? It is, as the name suggests, a Secret Santa for Paternoster Gang (related) fics.
Is this only for / relationships or are & relationships also allowed? Both are allowed, just check they correspond with a person’s wishes!
What length of work is allowed? Any, ranging from drabbles to works up to roughly 5k. Please indicate the length of fic you would roughly like to receive/offer - these will be paired to the best of my abilities. For this, you can for instance give a range of 1000-1500 words you would like to receive/write. If you do not care about the length of the work you will receive/write, you can indicate as such in the requests/offers.
How many prompts can I request? You are required to add at least two prompts and can add up to ten.
How many relationships can I offer? You can offer between one and five relationships for each of the prompts. You are required to offer at least two prompts and can offer up to ten. This mainly includes the characters and relationships you want to write, as well as your DNWs for writing, as well as the word range you are offering to write.
How will assignments be matched? Thanks in large part to ao3’s exchange algorithm, you will be matched on a minimum of one fandom and one relationship, though I will make sure that your wishes regarding the length you offer to write are fulfilled - as well as (largely) the lengths you want to receive. Please don't discuss your assignment in public before work reveals as it would ruin the secret character of the Secret Santa.
Should I fill in the 'Optional Details' section of my signup? You must include your Do Not Wants (DNWs) in the optional details section, as well as the word count you are willing to write/would like to receive. Only DNWs listed in the optional details section are enforceable by the mods. The rest of the optional details (likes/prompts/etc.) are optional and will help guide your creator and potentially spark inspiration. Writers are NOT forced to obey all your optional likes and prompts, but they must respect your DNWs!
What are Do Not Wants? Do Not Wants or DNWs, are things the recipient absolutely does not want to receive in their gift (something that would ruin the gift for them). DNWs stated in the optional details area of the signup must be respected.
Are treats allowed? Yes! Allowed and encouraged.
What are treats? Treats are extra gifts you can give people in addition to your main assignment. You can look at the requests summary for this, which will show you all requests that have been made. Though this may take away a little from the secrecy factor, the idea of additional gifts is very appealing!
Do you need to be signed up to treat someone? No, you can treat with abandon, as long as you adhere to the requesters DNWs.
What are the minimum requirements for treats? Treats should conform to the requested formats.
Is there a separate collection for treats? No.
How do I post treats? You go to the collection's dashboard and click "Post to collection". To gift something to someone, you must type their username/pseud in the "Gift this work to" field. Please also adhere to the DNWs for treats!
How do I differentiate between my Secret Santa assignment and my treats? I would ask you to please indicate in the notes of the assignment that this is your Secret Santa assignment for the person.
I have an additional question for my giftee and don't know what to do. How do I ask them? In case of any questions directed at your giftee or other participants about their requests, etc. please contact me either via email or Tumblr with your question and I will pass it on to the person in question! I will get back to you with the answer as soon as they respond!
Help, I need more time! If you think you might need an extension, please contact the mod as soon as you can. All extension requests must be made 24 hours before the deadline.
I can't finish my assignment, what should I do? Please default on your ao3 assignments page as soon as possible if this is the case.
#paternoster secret santa 2024#jenny flint#jenny x vastra#madame vastra#fanfic exchange#jenny and vastra#paternoster gang#commander strax#drabble exchange
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Thorn Bush (Doctor Who Story)
Chapter 33: Survivors of the Flux
Masterlist
A/N: Just a reminder, Kathy fell into the Whoniverse after Resolution of the Daleks so she doesn't know anything after season 12 and New Years special so is lost in this episode but remembers the Crimea (War of the Sontarans) and the Sea Devils (Legend of the Sea Devils) as she's lived them.
——
1899 AD/CE
Kathy finds Jack slumped on the straw covered ground next to wicker baskets and a cart just as he's waking up. There is a broken bottle sticking out of his abdomen.
"Oh, not again." He grumbles exasperatedly.
"Really?" Kathy remarks as she walks up to him.
Jack smirks. "What? No hello, no welcome kiss? Have you come up from London just to tell me off?"
Kathy looks at him unamused. "You're gonna draw attention to yourself like this." She crouches down to his level.
"Like what?"
"Torchwood. They have a Cardiff base. They've been monitoring you, keeping transcripts of your conversations about the Doctor with people." Kathy explains.
Jack shrugs. "And?"
Kathy rolls her eyes. "To Torchwood, the Doctor is a designated enemy. I should know, I was there when Torchwood was created."
"What should I do?" Kathy pulls out the bottle from his stomach instead of replying. "Ow!"
"Don't be a baby." Kathy retorts. "What should do is join them."
Jack scoffs. "No!"
"Jack, may I remind you that you need to stay in Cardiff?" Kathy reminds him. "That's where you'll meet the Doctor again in a hundred years time and it might be a good idea to keep the alien detectors on your side."
"Fine."
"Good."
Honestly, it's like minding a child sometimes.
——
1885 AD/CE
There are some adventures and scenarios from the Whoniverse that Kathy is aware of and either intentionally places herself or comes across it accidentally but in those situations, she knows what's going on. There are some situations, however, where Kathy accidentally comes across various Doctors and their companions by accident and genuinely has to find out what's going on and help solve the situation.
One such instance was easy enough to solve. Kathy had been investigating a powerful explosion on Threadneedle Street where the Bank of England is located. It was a solo assignment Kathy was doing on her own without the others.
What had been suspicious about this explosion was that those around it had reportedly carried on, completely oblivious to the damage. The strangeness of the whole thing had led to a member of the Paternoster Gang being called to investigate.
Kathy had arrived to find the bewildered trio that consisted of Amy, Rory and Eleven standing in the midst of it all. Kathy had happily greeted them to which they had done the same while telling her they had found traces of carbonite before they had been cut off by a second explosion from down in the vaults. They ran to investigate, but there appeared to be no sign of damage to the vaults and no one around except a kindly old flower seller.
Amy was concerned and tried to coax the old lady back up the stairs to safety. However, the Doctor suddenly turned on the old woman and threw the flowers aside, uncovering a traffic-calming measure from the Aldebaran Astrobahn, a small device that pacifies space pilots so they can fly safely. The device was being used to cover up the raid on the bank.
The old woman suddenly changed into an armed alien bank robber, who grabs Rory.
Thankfully the whole thing was resolved when Kathy realised they should use the reality check on the robber, and give him suggestions that he takes – that he doesn't want to fire his gun, that he doesn't want to be a criminal, and that all the happiness he will ever need can be found in a single flower!
Dancing off, the robber left the bank, planning to go home and plant a garden full of beautiful flowers. With the reality check no longer influencing the bank staff and customers, there was a sudden panic as the full extent of the damage was seen, along with a big green alien dancing around holding a flower.
Thankfully, Kathy had the Inspector and Scotland Yard on call, who flooded the scene with men to keep the people at bay while the Doctor, Amy and Rory sneaked off with the alien in tow, still dancing, to deposit him back at his home where he'll be no trouble.
——
1901 AD/CE
There are other instances where Kathy isn't in the know but it's been way more difficult for her.
Kathy still lives with the Paternoster Gang though she's spending more and more time away from them. She uses the excuse that she wants to see Carlyle and Ashildr who both live in the southern part of Africa where the country South Africa will be formed very soon. However, everyone knows that Kathy is beginning to distance herself because she's known the group for nearly twenty years now, and the age is beginning to show on all of them. For Kathy, many of the friends she makes have so fleeting lives and the pain of losing them is inevitable.
Kathy knows Vastra, Jenny and Strax are good friends because they don't push her on it and give her as much space as they can.
Kathy is in the house on Paternoster Row when there are a few frantic knocks at the door. She hears Strax move to open the door. Vastra and Jenny are out investigating so it's just Kathy and the Sontaran butler in.
"Explain your presence here human scum." Strax's voice declares. Kathy snickers into her book at that. She can only imagine the face of the person on the other side.
"I'm, h-hi. I, or us, we, are looking for Kathy Davis?" The answer sounds more like a question than a statement.
Kathy perks up, she knows that voice. She rushes over to the door and there stands Yazmin Khan as expected. Dan is standing just behind her next to an older gentleman that Kathy doesn't know. Dan and Yaz are wearing hurriedly put together period clothing while the older man is wearing something that wouldn't stand out to the regular person, but Kathy can guess it's at least 50 years too early.
She witnesses the relief that floods the trio's faces.
"Kathy!" Dan cries joyfully, side eyeing Strax.
"Ms Davis, good to see you again." The older man adds. Kathy tries to give him a pleasant smile rather than a blank look. Clearly, he's met her before, and she doesn't want to make things awkward for him.
"You know these human miscreants, Madam?" Strax interrupts.
"Yes, Strax. Now take their coats." She instructs. He does so but not without threatening them with obliteration. "You three can follow me into the sitting room."
——
The older man introduces himself as Professor Eustacius Jericho a parapsychologist from the late 1960s. He wasn't too dazed by the fact that Kathy didn't know him, saying it explained how she knew so much about him when he'd first met her.
Kathy also learns that this Yaz and Dan have been to the Crimea, which is where they last saw her. She knew Yaz and Dan survive disappearing in Crimea as she saw them with the Sea Devils but where they had gone and what happened in the meantime, she had no idea. She is glad to see they're okay. Ish.
Dan already knows about her species, being from a different dimension and meets the Doctor out of sync so no need for an explanation there.
The trio, mostly Dan and Yaz, explain what's been happening to Kathy. Basically, something called the Flux has been destroying the universe (Kathy recalls the Thirteen telling her that it in Crimea), there are these two crystal creatures that seem to know the Doctor and the Weeping Angels have kidnapped the Doctor when they accidentally arrived in the 1960s. And that was the shortlist.
The group are all stuck in 1901 because the Weeping Angels had all sent them from the 1960s to this time (Jericho's time). Likely to get them away from the Doctor. An older version of her that had been there when this happened had told them where to find her in 1901.
Yaz recounts their task: work out where and when an inevitable battle for Earth will take place in the future because of the Flux's effects.
——
1904 AD/CE
Over the next few years, the group, along with the assistance of Jenny and Vastra, search for where they could find answers. Since this has such a big impact, someone must've had a premonition of it occurring.
They go all over the world, trying to find answers but keep on facing dead ends.
The next one on the list is an ancient temple in Mexico where they believe a mystical offering pot is located and once decided, while giving them the answers they're looking for.
They set up the pulley system. The plan is that Kathy, Dan and Yaz will descend while Jericho will stay up top. A good plan that isn't excited perfectly, not completely.
Dan ends up falling through the ceiling of the temple with the rope tied around his waist and face plants the floor, while Kathy and Yaz descend properly standing with a foot each in the loop.
"That pulley system needs work," Yaz remarks as she and Kathy jump down.
"Yeah." Dan huffs from the ground, sounding wounded.
"Focus you guys. We need to find out if we're in the right place." Kathy reminds them, moving through the room that is small, cramped, and low-ceilinged with her torch. Dan stands up and stretches. "Oh, and be on the lookout for..."
Three spears whistle past Dan and implant into the wall behind him! He freezes, wide-eyed. The shafts of the spears are brushing his face. VERY narrow escape.
"...death traps." Kathy finishes.
"I was nearly a kebab!" Dan whines.
"Looking for an offering pot, remember? One that hopefully matches the sketch." Yaz reminds him.
"I hope he hasn't fallen asleep up... Whoa!" Kathy's head snaps towards where Dan is to see him go flying up and Jericho descends – more like falls – with a rope around his torso and lands smack onto the floor.
"Good afternoon." He huffs, face smushed into the floor.
"He pulled the rope, didn't he?" Kathy asks rhetorically.
"That was the signal!" Jericho retorts, dusting himself down.
"And you still haven't figured out how to ballast the counterweight pulley properly," Yaz replies.
"Almost. It's not entirely my wheelhouse." Jericho counters, looking around himself in wonder. "Oh, this is spectacular."
"Oh! Jericho, Kathy, look." Yaz gasps. Kathy turns to see Yaz walking over to an altar where a tiny crafted pot, with Mayan symbols, sits next to a single lit candle, burned down low amidst a collection of other small pots and jugs. (Who lit the candle?) "I think I've got it. This is the one. Oh, I'm still not sure about taking it."
"It's a discovery. It's our discovery." Jericho argues.
"Strictly speaking, it's theft." Kathy counters. "If we take it, we have to bring it back once we have it decoded."
"And reseal the ceiling," Yaz adds. Kathy wrinkles her nose as she looks up at the damage they had caused. She's less thrilled about that.
Jericho pulls on the rope. "Now, what was it again? One tug or twoooo...?" Up goes Jericho, and down comes Dan. Yaz and Kathy barely glance at him.
"Hiya." The latter calls over her shoulder.
"Have you got it?" Dan asks, face squashed into the floor.
"Think so." Kathy answers, sharing a gleeful grin with Yaz.
——
Kathy, Yaz, Dan, and Jericho's next move is to go to Constantinople to get the pot deciphered. They sit a short distance from a woman in a marketplace, who agreed to translate at a rundown stall that has an assortment of historical artefacts and carved objects.
They are drinking mint tea. The woman has fragments of a carved panel which match the symbols on the jug she's also looking inside the jug. She scratches words and numbers onto parchment.
"She's matching the symbols to the ancient panels," Jericho observes. "We should have a translation soon."
"Basically, this pot can decipher the exact date the world is going to end," Yaz adds.
"We've been in this decade for three years now. Do you think we'll ever get back?" Dan wonders.
"I find myself marooned a decade before I was born, in a century where I have a little too much knowledge of the atrocities to come."
Kathy glances at the group around her sorrowfully. She forgets that while she's in the time she's meant to, these three have been uprooted. "We've got a task; we have to stick to it. Focus on that. You guys will get home, I believe you will. I'm sorry I can't any further."
"You've been terrific help, Ms Davis," Jericho reassures her.
There's a moment of reflection but then Jericho frowns, sniffing the air. "Can anyone else smell burning?"
The smell of smoke hits the others. Oh, no.
"Now you come to mention it." Dan murmurs.
Yaz rips apart the cloth separating their stall from the other. After a few moments, she yells, "Get her out of here, now!"
Jericho immediately gets to work, ushering the translator out. Kathy pokes her head around the divide to that it's a bomb. She joins Yaz in trying to cover it up, hoping to limit its impact, with lots of rugs and shoves them over the bomb. Dan runs to the entrance of the stall, yelling, "Everyone get back!"
"Think that's gonna have to do." Yaz murmurs.
"Yeah." Kathy agrees, turning to run but realises Yaz hasn't followed. "Yaz!"
"Kathy! Yaz! Get out of here!" Kathy hears Dan yell as the two sprint from the scene.
They evacuate safely just as the bomb explodes.
——
"If it wasn't for your quick thinking, Miss Khan and Ms Davis, we could have all perished in that blast. But who would want to kill us? How do they even know about us? We're simply trying to derive a date from a pot." Jericho wonders as they sit in a circle, planning and theorising in their ocean liner cabin on the way to the next destination, Nepal.
"At least we have a partial date, December 5th." Kathy tries to lift their spirits.
"But no year." Yaz points out.
There's a knock at the door.
"Just one moment!" Jericho calls. Jericho and Yaz look at Dan and Kathy.
Dan groans and Kathy rolls her eyes. "Seriously?" The latter hisses.
"Yes!" Jericho retorts.
"Every time?" Dan grumbles.
"Yes!" Yaz echoes.
"Why do we have to be the stowaways?" Kathy complains as she and Dan stand.
"Shut up." Jericho hisses.
Dan ignores him. "Can't we take turns?"
"I second that," Kathy remarks.
They roll under the bunk.
"Come in!" Jericho calls.
Kathy hears the door open and hears the wheels of a trolley. Probably a waiter. She looks out from under the bed, at the sets of shoes. She narrows her eyes when she spots the socks, there's something not right about the socks.
"Are you new?" Yaz questions, raising Kathy's suspicions further.
"Came aboard for this leg, ma'am." The waiter turns to Jericho. "One lump or two, sir?"
"One, please."
The waiter takes the teapot and smashes it across Jericho's face stunning him. He then slams Yaz against the wall and tries to strangle her. Kathy and Dan quickly shuffle out from under the bunk. They struggle but then Yaz kicks him in the nuts and elbows him in the ribs.
He falls off, staggering back and Dan takes the chance to sweep-kick the feet out from under the waiter causing him to land on the floor next to them. The man then, without warning, pulls out a gun and fires it in Kathy's direction, hitting her in the stomach.
Kathy staggers from the force of it, clutching her stomach. Her hands flow orange.
"Kathy!" Yaz cries in alarm.
"Don't worry about me. Sit on his legs, Dan!" Kathy yells. "Yaz, his chest!"
She slumps to the floor as Dan and Yaz rush to do exactly as they're told.
The waiter continues to struggle despite Dan being on his legs and Yaz on his chest. "You can't fight the future!" He warns them.
Kathy already feels her stomach begin to heal; the wound is beginning to sew itself back together and her organs fixing themselves. She feels the energy flow over her.
Kathy groans as she sits up as her body is still tired. She knows she's missing a large chunk of the struggle as she sorts herself out.
She's clued back in when Yaz yells, "No. No!"
Kathy looks up to see that the waiter's body has gone limp. She pulls herself up and goes over to the body.
Dammit. Not for the first time in the last few years, Kathy is annoyed at herself for not knowing the future or what's going on.
Jericho pulls himself up while Yaz and Dan stand up from the body.
Yaz checks him, gravely. "Poison capsule, lodged in his tooth."
"Self-sacrifice, eh? Jolly good thing, too. I was just about to bop him with his own teapot." Jericho remarks.
Dan looks at Kathy oddly. "Do you do that often?"
Kathy shrugs, realising that just magically healing yourself from a bullet wound must look odd. "Biology and not if I can help it."
Kathy notices a small snake tattooed on the inside of the wrist of the dead man. What is that?
She thinks it curious that he fired the gun at her specifically even though Dan was right next to her. It's like he knew he needed to disable her even if it was only temporary. What did he know about her?
As she does, Jericho continues talking, "Now we have an additional conundrum. We appear to have a dead waiter in our cabin. What if someone walks in?"
"Roll him under the bed for now," Yaz tells them.
"Hang on, under the bed's where me and Kathy sleep." Dan reminds her.
Kathy shrugs. "It's fine, come nightfall, when it's quiet, shove his body overboard." She sees the shocked looks of Dan and Jericho. "What?"
"You both seem remarkably proficient at this, Miss Khan and Ms Davis." Jericho comments.
Maybe Kathy should be concerned about that...
Yaz seems nonplussed. "There's no use being squeamish. We've got the future to save."
——
Kathy, Dan, and Jericho enter the cabin after dumping the dead waiter overboard.
"Job done," Dan whispers.
"Heavy beggar. He made quite a splash. I can't say I enjoyed that." Jericho remarks.
Kathy winces and gives him a pat on the back before looking properly at Yaz for the first time since entering the room. She immediately notices the decorative egg-shaped device Yaz is holding and her obvious emotional stare.
Over the last few years, Kathy has quickly noticed that this Yaz, unlike the one she met with the pirates and Sea Devils, has not realised or openly confirmed her feelings for the Doctor. Kathy wants to tell her that the Doctor does feel the same but she can't say anything yet, not before the two get to have that talk.
Dan notices too. "You okay?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Kathy, Dan, and Jericho exchange glances, they know she's not going to give them any more than that.
"I should ablute." Jericho takes his sponge bag and leaves.
Kathy and Dan turn to Yaz. Kathy sits next to her and wraps around to bring some comfort. Yaz lies her head on her shoulder. Dan sits down on the other side.
"We'll see her again. She'll be alright. Wherever she is." Dab says.
Kathy smiles softly. "Of course, she's alright. She's the Doctor."
Yaz nods gratefully.
——
Yaz, Dan, and Jericho finish their ascension of a mountain in Nepal while bundled up in furs. They stagger to the top, breathless and Kathy sees they have reached the mouth of a cave.
"This man is a legendary seer. He's our last best hope in finding out when in history the battle may come, and how we might get there." Jericho tells them.
They arrive at a tent at the edge of the cave mouth where a man, dressed in a ragged shawl, sits outside meditating.
Jericho steps forward. "Sir. My name is Eustacius Jericho. I am an expert in percipients and visionaries, and in my historic reading I have read much about you and your abilities. We come to you in all humility, as we are in the midst of an extraordinary task, and seek guidance as to what the future holds."
There's a pause. The four of them wait expectantly. The man finally looks at them.
"Took you long enough." The man remarks. They look at him in surprise. Hadn't been expecting that.
"I'm sorry?" Jericho blurts out.
"To get up here. I've been watching you for days. You need to take more exercise." The man retorts. He claps his hands together excitedly, looking at them all eagerly. "So! What's the gossip from down there? Who's kissed who?"
Jericho looks at him incredulously. Oh dear, never meet her heroes. "Gossip?"
"I don't get any up here. I'll take anything."
"Suppose you don't, do you?" Kathy mutters. More light hearted than expected. Maybe it's the altitude? Solitude?
The man looks at them expectantly. Kathy goes blank on what to say and she can see the others struggling too.
Finally, Jericho speaks, "I mean... I think the telephone's been invented."
They get a blank look. "Telephone?"
"Yes, you use it to talk with people, to communicate." Jericho tries to mime it as he speaks.
"I'm a hermit!"
"Ah."
"We would've brought a newspaper if we'd known," Kathy says.
The man looks at them in outrage. "You mean you haven't? What about some food? Rope? A pot? The latest Conan Doyle?"
"Does seem rude, now you come to mention it." Dan remarks.
The man's outraged face suddenly morphs into one of humour. "Aah, I'm teasing you! I knew you wouldn't have anything, really."
Oh.
Kathy decides to get them back on track. "Do you have anything for us?"
"No."
What?
"Really?" Yaz asks incredulously and a tad annoyed.
The man grins again. "Ahh, teasing again! I don't get to tease people much." He pauses, sobering up. "I have three words."
"We've climbed all this way for three words?!" Jericho complains.
"Ssh!" Kathy hisses.
"Go on." Yaz urges.
The man closes his eyes. They all lean in, waiting. "Fetch. Your. Dog."
Again, what?
"I beg your pardon?" Jericho sounds as equally baffled as Kathy feels. On the other hand, Dan and Yaz slowly turn to each other as if they're realising something. Kathy feels none the wiser.
The man shrugs. "Fetch your dog." He repeats.
"I don't have a dog. Is that it?" Jericho turns to the rest of them. "Does this make any sense to you?"
Instead of answering, Dan turns to the man. "And if it did, how do we fetch him?"
Kathy frowns. What does that mean? Wait, hang on. The Lupari! Of course!
The man shrugs. "That's your problem. I don't know."
"I have an idea," Yaz says.
——
They travel to the Great Wall of China, where the group begins to work hard to cut down many trees and spread white paint over a huge area.
They trim back trees and bushes. Huge pair of tree clippers. Plant seeds. Hack back bushes. They chop down a load of bamboo and start splashing white paint around on the stone ground. They paint huge long lines on rocks.
They stand back, exhausted, many months later. Dan and Jericho have beards!
"I hope it looks all right. I don't suppose we'll ever know, really." Jericho remarks.
Next to the Great Wall of China, carved into the land, the earth, the trees, and the bushes, over a huge area they have written: KARVANISTA: DAN LEWIS IS HERE 1904: FETCH YOUR HUMAN!
Well, let's hope the Lupari (Karvanista) sees this over a century in the future.
——
"Still no response from the dog," Dan mutters as they sit in the cabin once more. Jericho and Dan are now shaven.
"Karvanista." Kathy corrects amusedly. She's getting an idea of the kind of relationship between Dan and the Lupari.
"And still no Doctor." Yaz laments.
"Maybe that man only says 'cause he knew we would, not that it'll actually lead somewhere?" Kathy theorises.
The cabin door suddenly opens and a man bursts through. The man looks baffled as if this isn't where he expected to turn up. He frantically runs up to the porthole and looks out. Oh, he's furious.
"Oi, what are you doing?!" Dan cries.
The man turns accusingly. "A ship? A ship at sea?"
"I'll call a steward." Jericho threatens.
"Wait. I know you." Dan suddenly says. "We've met. In a tunnel?"
"I've met you too, on Atropos," Yaz adds.
Yeah, apparently there's a planet called Time? Kathy isn't so sure about that.
"What do you know of my tunnels?" The man answers prickly.
"Not a lot. Time was going mad." Dan replies.
"Do you call me mad, sir?!" The man cries aggressively. "Joseph Williamson, the mad mole! You take their side!"
While the rest of them are blank and who he is, Dan seems to know. "You're Joseph Williamson?"
"Who else would I be, sir? And it seems I must find my own way out of this infernal puzzle. Those cursed shifting doorways!" He storms out and slams the door behind him. Dan opens it and looks down the corridor.
"Wait, where's gone?" Kathy questions. She's left completely baffled by the entire encounter.
"Joseph Williamson. Don't you see?" Dan asks.
Kathy glances at the equally baffled looks from the other two. "I don't think so."
"The Williamson tunnels. They're a tourist thing. They're being excavated in my time." Dan explains. "If he keeps turning up in all these different places and times... we've got to find him. That's where we have to go."
"You could all go back home." Kathy realises. She's happy for them but she's going to miss not spending as much time with them.
——
They walk among the pillars of the hall, talking to a young man called Alfie, caretaker at the
"Yeah, me grandad used to work for him," Alfie tells them. "He told me all sorts of things, you know, about what he built down there. He reckoned there's dining halls, bedrooms, the lot. Someone even said there's an army down there."
"So, what's happened to the tunnels since his death?" Dan asks.
"It's all shut down. All the work stopped. It's ancient history now."
"Alfie, would you know how we'd get access to any part of them?" Kathy asks.
"Oh, I wouldn't go down there, Miss. It's dangerous. And also, some folk say he still walks the tunnels." Alfie warns. "Wouldn't want pretty girls like you seeing any ghosts."
Kathy and Yaz share amused looks with one another.
"These pretty girls can look after themselves." Yaz retorts.
"It's these two you've got to worry about," Kathy adds with a grin.
——
The tunnel is run-down. Cobwebs, creaking beams, dust. The group, now dirty and cobwebbed, creep along, with a lamp or two between them. They clear their way through the cobwebs. Urgh. Dust rains down on them, it feels very dangerous. Dan is unrolling twine and chalking on the walls, as they go, to mark their trail. Jericho is holding the sketch map.
"How many hours is that now?" Yaz asks.
"Six and a quarter," Dan replies. "We're running out of twine and lamp fuel."
"We are searching for a ghost to explain the improbability of Space and Time. We should not be surprised if we don't find it." Jericho says logically.
"The optimism is appreciated." Kathy sarcastically remarks.
They round a corner into a different section. The lamp is lower.
"Oh ye of little faith," Dan says, gesturing ahead. They all look to see there is a faint light, coming glowing towards them from further along. Eventually, out of the darkness comes a ghostly figure with a ghostly aura, holding a light. Williamson.
"It's him! I'll go over. One Scouser to another." Dan decides.
"Hey, Dan. Are you from Liverpool? Why have you never mentioned it? Can you believe it, Kathy?" Yaz jokes.
Kathy grins, she's been enjoying this, her and Yaz mocking Dan during the time they've spent together. "No, I don't. You could knock me down with a feather."
"All right, Sheffield and—" Dan pauses. "Wait Kathy, where're you from?"
Kathy shrugs. "I'm old enough for it not to matter. I'm from earth, that's what counts."
"Right, well, both of you, keep your cutlery on." Dan walks forward into the tunnel towards the ghostly Williamson.
Dan approaches Williamson. Williamson keeps approaching, very ghostly, very spectre-y.
"Alright, mate. Can I just check you're not a ghost, are you?" Dan calls.
He's nose to nose with ghostly glowing Williamson. Williamson then slaps Dan around the face. Hard.
Kathy winces. "Well, that answers that question."
"Was that ghostly, sir? Did you feel it?" Williamson snaps.
"You're lucky I don't give you one back." Dan retorts.
"What do you want?"
Yaz steps forward. "In a nutshell, we believe the fabric of Space and Time is under threat, and that Earth is about to be under attack, but we're not sure when, where or who from, and we need to find others who can help us stop it happening."
Yeah, that's about the size of it.
There's a pause from Williamson as he looks at them all in turn and his expression starts to crumble, his eyes begin to water. "Finally! Oh! Finally!" He hugs Yaz. "I have been at my wits' end. I have so much to show you. There's so little time!" He runs off as they look at each other. Williamson turns and calls back, "Come! Come! Come!"
The group follows him into the dark.
——
A vast chamber dotted with pillars and junk, separating the large area into smaller portions. All around the chamber are doors. A dozen doors. They encircle the entire chamber. Williamson runs through leading Kathy, Yaz, Dan and Jericho into the middle of it.
"This is where I have endeavoured to make sense of it all. This chamber is the heart of my excavation project. I have attempted to build defences here, for humanity, against the destruction to come." Williamson explains.
"Er... there are labels on each doorway." Jericho points out.
Kathy looks to see each doorway has a collage of notes, pictures, and labels. 'Endless Cities Of Steel! Firebolts!' 'Only Ocean.' 'Viscous transparent wobbling armies! Do not enter!' 'A ship. At sea. Strange passengers that recognised me, had some knowledge of my tunnels.' 'Surface is of a lucid substance.' 'Matches with accounts of Athens. Mass of ash and dust and sand. Temple. Time appears to run paradoxically.'
"Precisely, sir. A dozen doorways, a dozen worlds." Williamson replies. "Except the past few days have changed everything."
"Why?" Kathy questions.
"Since All Hallows' Eve, all is flux." Halloween, that's when it all started according to Yaz and Dan. "Some of the doorways have changed. They are gateways to places I have never seen. Fraught with danger. Especially doorway nine. Do not touch doorway nine."
'Doorway 9 Death! Rays of Death. Never open!'
"Any particular reason?" Jericho asks.
"Death, sir. Endless death!" Williamson exclaims, storming over and is now right in Jericho's face.
"Oh, that's... that's persuasive." Jericho shakily says.
"I hoped I could save everyone. Now I fear I cannot save anyone." Jericho admits sombrely.
There's a sudden banging on one of the doorways. They all turn and look at the door.
"Does that happen often?" Yaz asks warily.
"It's never happened before," Williamson says.
Bang! Bang! Bang! They spin around and see it's another door. Bang! Bang! Bang! Another door! Bang! Bang! Bang!
The doors blow in. Kathy's eyes widen as she takes in the familiar form of a Sontaran. She's startled out of her thoughts as the troops come stomping in, firing causing the group to scatter.
"Kill all resistance! Sontar-ha!"
——
A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.
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Series 7 Episode 12: The Crimson Horror
Alright here we go, hello everyone hope you’re all having a nice day. Today, we’re going to be reviewing The Crimson Horror. Now for context, this is the episode I’ve been dreading reviewing the most out of ANY so far, as I disliked my first watch so much. Is it better than I remember? Let’s find out.
Ok so again like The Snowmen, this episode starts off on the back foot because it’s Victorian England and the Paternoster Gang, two things that we have established I do NOT like sdlkgj. Turns out though that *maybe* my Paternoster hate was misplaced a bit. Strax humour is still not my cup of tea, but dang they put the spotlight on Jenny and she is a pretty cool character. Always love me some gay rep in my Doctor Who, and she’s a badass girlboss too what’s not to love. It’s still about even overall with the Paternoster gang but hey they weren’t too bad here.
The villain is just a shrimp tho like c’mon. It’s red goop and a shrimp that’s what we’re dealing with here sdgkj;. I honestly cannot remember the old lady’s name who orchestrates the whole thing, and I don’t think I ever understood her motivations for wanting to poison the world either. Was she being controlled by Mr. Sweets the shrimp? Was she doing it to protect her daughter? Just for the heck of it? The fact I don’t know speaks to how confusing this villain was, when I imagine they should be p easy to understand.
I do think the biggest issue with this episode though is the way it fiddles with the structure of Doctor Who episodes. Usually I’m someone who LOVES when an episode experiments with not having the Doctor or a companion around, or subverting our expectations as to what we typically expect to happen in a Doctor Who episode. This is what the best episodes do, but experimenting like that is RISKY and when it doesn’t pay off you alienate your audience (hehe get it alienate cause this is a show about aliens-). In this episode, the Doctor & Clara show up about 10/15 minutes late, with those first few minutes focused on the Paternoster gang’s investigation. This sounds like a refreshing way to intro an episode, but all that happens is that the episode ends up starting up properly 10/15 minutes late. When the episode starts late, it ends up in a rush trying to fit all the narrative plot points in and that’s likely what caused my confusion about how the final act of the story played out. I always appreciate attempts at experimentation in Doctor Who, but sadly this wasn’t it for me and the changes made the episode feel rushed rather than refreshing.
TL:DR/Overview - The Crimson Horror is an episode I expected to hate after my last experience, but whilst it definitely wasn’t an episode I liked, it did some admirable things. Giving Jenny the spotlight for the opening act was refreshing, and it made an attempt to experiment with the formula of the show. Sadly though, lots of things still didn’t work for me. The setting, the ending, the rushed pace. They were all problems for me, and so I can’t give The Crimson Horror any higher than a low C tier.
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8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?
15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?
29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
– poppy 🥀
Thank you so much for the ask!
8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?
River/Doctor - which should come as a surprise to absolutely no one. 8 of my 11 fics this year were about them. I would like to point out that 4 of them featured River/fugitive Doctor as that makes a change from last year. (Although it was only a main pairing in one of the fics and for another one it only exists in the content I have written but not published yet).
The only other ship I wrote more than one story for was thasmin, by the way.
15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?
A lot of them? I have so many WIPs and I have not really given up on any of them. There is definitely the one that hasn't mentioned River/fugitive Doctor yet but will, which is a Dancing with the Stars -AU. Then there is a Penderwicks story about Jane's coming out that I really want to build on.
And then a bunch of stuff that is still on my computer and has not yet been released into the wilds of the Internet. Among those a 11/O story, a River/11/Reader story (of which one chapter actually is somewhere on tumblr) and a sweet and actually not too angsty Mels/Reader story. Oh and the 'The Paternoster Gang adopt a child' story that has been existing unfinished for ages.
Plus a dozen ideas that only exist in my head like my beloved Mels/Division!Doctor fic that I keep bringing up.
29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?
This one is difficult, hang on...There was definitely some cheesy passage in Somewhere in my memory that I love. Ah, no I wrote I can't be with him til the very end this year so it has to come from there. Let me check...
“I am serious, too” she says, crossing her arms in front of her chest to stop herself from shaking. Because he is right, in a way. Amy is in danger. Mels knows how it will all end, but the thought of Amy under Kovarian’s thumb, all alone and pregnant, makes her feel sick. “I am not coming.” For a moment all the masks drop. For a moment it looks like he is about to grab her and hurl her into his box against her will or maybe destroy her on the spot. For a moment she can see the terrible Doctor she has heard about in the stories, the Beast, the Oncoming Storm, the Vanquisher. It almost reassures her to finally see him. Then like flipping a switch it is gone again, his expression neutral, his voice cold but reserved. “Why not?"
This wasn't easy and it's probably too long, but I am going with that. I just really loved writing 11 in this, it felt very natural, very him. It's difficult to pick a passage though, it's more the general pacing of the scene that I love, how they have this flirty relationship and then he asks her to save Amy and in a second they are arguing and basically become enemies.
Okay, but I do want to put some cheesy 'Somewhere in my memory' lines in here, too, because they made me very happy:
“I had a lovely time watching you sleep. I even drew a picture of you.” “You did?” the Doctor asked, getting a little excited. “It seemed romantic” River shrugged, handing her a small sheet of paper with a simple crayon drawing. “That’s a stick figure” the Doctor noticed. “A snoring stick figure with blonde hair.” “I never said I was da Vinci” River argued, trying to take the drawing back but the Doctor held onto it. “I like it” she said. “It’s very you.” “You can’t keep it, Sweetie” River said with an apologetic smile. “This is just a dream.”
Because I am of the strong conviction that River Song can do anything but draw :)
#thank you for the ask!#now I feel like I should have chosen a thasmin line for you#but tbh my thasmin writing is not that exciting#btw about ships I wrote for: who would've thought river/lee clayton or rigsy/gordon lethbridge-stewart would be among them? not me
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Could I have predicted that you would choose this moment after sending you that prompt? Yes.
Was I prepared for it? No.
That said, I really, really enjoy it in all its angsty glory <3 This is 100% what should have happened and Chibnall should have hired you. (I actually have a list of people he should have hired, but had he done that, s13 would have been only dw sapphics making out, I fear, and while that would have appealed to me specifically, I'm not sure it would have been a good idea in like the general sense of that expression.)
I'm voting for you for showrunner anyway :) If only because I am trusting you to bring the Paternoster Gang back onto our screen, in spite of prosthetics, costumes and everything they entail
No, but this snippet is gorgeous! I can hardly believe you haven't written much thasmin, you do it so well! Every single instance of them in your fics I have seen, I have immediately adored. Even just that little cameo in the mermaid story made me so happy. Okay, maybe it's just that thasmin make me happy in general but in my eyes, you get them and that's so lovely to read.
And this scene is so sad and it hurts so well:
... had watched over the Doctor as she recovered – or died, so agonisingly slow – from the Master...
I think that's my favourite bit, so beautiful with that recovery/death theme - isn't that just what regeneration is at its core? - and Yaz caring!
their fingers just a hair’s breadth apart. Not touching, barely not touching.
I swear, I didn't steal that not quite touching theme for my own snippet for you from here! I did kinda let the last ones of your thasmin pieces I read inspire me there though, so in a way it did come from you. Anyway, I love how you put this here - repetitions, my beloved!
Even though she had wanted to smile for the Doctor until the very end, tears ran down her cheeks.
Yeah, wwtdd and all that but I am so glad that they both 'fail' here and are forced to be honest by the depths of their emotions and feelings for each other. No more hiding the damage, cry and heal together the short time that you have <3
“Doctor,” Yaz said, her voice wavering. “Before you… go…” “No, don’t say it, Yaz…” She averted her eyes. “I know, I know, Yaz… I…”
Then this is so beautiful, not finding the words, not daring to say it, not saying goodbye - just like they agreed in the episode. And yet they understand what the other means without words <3
A split lip, tasting of blood, and ash, and burning – and love. So much love, and agony, and pain, and beauty.
Oh God, I don't even know. But that combination of words stirs something in my heart and it's not pleasant but it's good.
Yaz pushed time out of her head.
I am still hung up on Swarm/Azure = time, Doctor = space but also Time presenting as an inverse of the Doctor and of time using Yaz as a bait for the Doctor and I can't really articulate it but there's definitely satisfaction for me in their kiss defying time.
So worn and damaged, and nearly at the end, holding one last breath in their kiss before- Time ran out.
Yeah, okay, that ending's just unfairly perfect 🤷♀️ what can I say?
Thank you so so much!! This is so short and I am not sure my ramblings make sense, but this might be among my favourite works of yours yet. It's just a very beautiful image and we should have gotten that kiss on the show and this is the perfect execution of that prompt and I am so very grateful you wrote it for me! Thank you!!
I've made up my mind because
38)…because they’re running out of time
has thasmin written all over it. Could you please write that for them? <3
(but like, if no inspiration is sparked, you know which ships to potentially exchange them for :))
Oh this is so good for them!!! And it actually immediatel sparked... So here is Thasmin, and how the scene after "I want more time!" could have gone... I hope you enjoy this, my friend! It's Yaz's POV, which was quite interesting because I think I haven't actually written much from her POV before? (Tbf... I haven't written all that much Thasmin in general, I realise XD)
This was it, their last moments together. Yaz had known it was coming, had watched over the Doctor as she recovered – or died, so agonisingly slow – from the Master setting the laser off to hit Yaz's Doctor. Yaz had sat by her side, their fingers just a hair’s breadth apart. Not touching, barely not touching. Now the Doctor stood in front of her, and Yaz steadied her as she fought tears of her own. “I need more time,” the Doctor breathed. Then, more angered, she yelled, “I want more time!” She couldn’t keep them back. Even though she had wanted to smile for the Doctor until the very end, tears ran down her cheeks. The merest touch, for a split second, the Doctor cupping her face. Touching, but not. Touching, but never long enough, never enough time. “Doctor,” Yaz said, her voice wavering. “Before you… go…” “No, don’t say it, Yaz…” She averted her eyes. “I know, I know, Yaz… I…” Her eyes stilled, and then focused on Yaz. Looked directly into her heart, her soul. Shaking lips pressed to hers. A split lip, tasting of blood, and ash, and burning – and love. So much love, and agony, and pain, and beauty. A searing heat cupped her cheek, and Yaz wanted to lean into it, to be consumed by the warmth, by the Doctor finally – finally – touching her, kissing her. She tasted her own tears in the kiss, and she could feel the Doctor’s heartbeats against her own hammering chest. Slow. So slow. Ticking down. Hours, perhaps only minutes or seconds. Yaz pushed time out of her head. All sense of counting, of measuring, everything that wasn’t the Doctor’s golden glowing hand on her cheek, the other one wrapped so desperately tight around Yaz’s back, and her soft, rough, timeless lips. So worn. So worn and damaged, and nearly at the end, holding one last breath in their kiss before- Time ran out.
I hope you enjoy this (as much as one can enjoy this bittersweet kiss) I think they should let me write Doctor Who actually. Vote me for showrunner. XD
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Good evening I’m a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife
yeah, it's the famous line from the episode, The Snowmen. Ian McKellen ('s voice) is here! Richard E Grant! and the mysterious woman who died in Daleks of the Asylum. and inter-species lesbians!
this should be good...
sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 6/10
sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 3/10
interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 5/10
furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10
companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10
the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10
doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10
isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 4/10
internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 3/10
Politics (how conservative is the story): 5/10
FULL RATING: 50/100 (if I can count….)
Oy vey!
OBJECTIFICATION: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok we start early on through one of the sexy lesbian's legs, because she's Action Lesbian In Leather
and there's a bit later where Clara is changing in a horsedrawn carriage into a different bustle dress, and the camera inexplicably thought it was a good idea to pan in on her breasts right as she's about to undo it
surprisingly though, that's about it
PLOT-POINT: Clara. Who is she? no genuinely, who is she? she larps as working class (and "charmingly" does her working class voice for the upperclass kids she's a governess for, as if they've never heard it before?)/as a barmaid, and then she's also a governess
why was she pretending to be a barmaid (what was the point in the episode and/or what was the point for her as a character)
why is she a governess? what is her connection to... anyone?
yes, she's an enigma, because she looks exactly like that other woman in the red dress (whom the Doctor never saw), but surely she can be "real" in some way -- after all, Oswin did have plot around her that made sense as a character, but this Clara has no background, no wants that relate to her as a character, no emotional connection to anyone, she's just... there. being spunky
and yes, the guy who's the father of the kids is into her, but that's him it doesn't say anything about her
COMPLEXITY: there's three specials released ahead of time that kind of are mostly there to show the Paternoster gang and there's some mystery snow, but otherwise not much in those that isn't in the episode
it's not the most complicated plot on the whole, if it weren't for the mysterious Clara, who isn't a character so much as a plot point
I kind of wish that so much of the plot hadn't involved Richard E Grant standing outside and waiting for stuff to come to him, because it felt like kind of a missed opportunity on the whole + this episode is an hour long and definitely could have been cut to be 45mins
there's also this scene where Clara meets Vastra and can only reply to her using one word answers as a "test," but it's kind of got a "we're being so clever about something," feeling without really making much sense
a lot of flash that need not flash as much, but then if it didn't you might start noticing things... like everything I'm noticing
CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: The Paternoster gang were first introduced in one of the worst episodes of this era, and this one is kind of. better than that. on the whole. anyway, they're back now
the Doctor is sad because of companions always leaving and refuses to help people anymore, so bit of a whiny fit (and people say Ten complains too much), but then Clara is so compelling that the Doctor cannot help himself I guess
Clara is here! Aaaaand she's dead again. but she's alive somewhere! we'll see
COMPANIONS MATTER: so... sort of. Clara calls the Doctor and the Doctor arrives and then she near immediately gets dragged out of the Tardis and thrown off a cloud, and then she cries and has a psychic connection or something to the evil snow (along with the family she works for) so that melts all the evil snow and saves the day!
and then she dies. Gosh, but the Tardis bit is so stupid. why are the doors open??? there was supposed to be a Plan with bringing the governess up into the clouds and that plan just... didn't materialise???
she's meant to be so impressive that the Doctor immediately gives her a key to the Tardis, and then devastate him when she dies (until the mystery brings her back), but she's not really much of anything, neither in substance (as explored in the previous point) or in action
what she does do is talk very fast in "witty" repartee, and figures out that the Doctor brought an umbrella so she could pull down some stairs that would take them up to the Tardis, because she's too short to reach otherwise (and I don't hate that)
the one thing she's got going for her is that she's a mystery and that's... not enough. but let's see, maybe future Clara can give us more to work with
“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: ehhhh not reaaally, I mean yes the Doctor drives the whole thing and there's a bunch of scenes of the Doctor dressed as Sherlock and pretending to be impressive and the Doctor insulting Strax, but there's also a fair bit of just "idk, I'm just doing a thing, let's see what happens"
PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: Richard E Grant! The Great Intelligence. a bit of Classic!Who in this one in a way that's silly in a fun way
“SEXINESS”: Clara sexually harasses the Doctor a couple of times and also kisses him without his consent "for comedy." the kissing without consent is seeeveral seconds long, after which she takes it as confirmation that he likes her?
The Doctor: You kissed me Clara: You blushed
also
Clara: Eyes front soldier The Doctor: My eyes are always front Clara, watching his ass: Mine aren’t
also a scene where the Doctor pulls her through a window, because her bustle is stuck, and she lands on top of him and he says "You’ve got to take your clothes off," and immediately retracts it while she's still on top of him, but also she doesn't get off him for flipping ages
it's mostly this, but it's a shame, because it's most of what Clara's got to do and it's how M*ffat likes writing "confident" women. I'm surprised he didn't think of a reason for her to slap him at some point
INTERNAL WORLD: they're in Victorian England, the women wear bustles, and there's a bar that's unimportant and a mansion house, and that's abouuut it
POLITICS: I guess there are lesbians. sexy lesbians, but they're there. the classism is weird and kind of pervasive. otherwise it's not really much of anything on the whole
FULL RATING: 50/100 (if I can count….)
Sooo it's another episode that is not The Worst Episode. it's got some fun bits, but on the whole it continues to suffer in many of the ways M*ffat episodes tend to suffer (well, this is a list that's targeted towards M*ffat flaws)
I think also some of the... shall we say "quirk" is getting worse. Clara is a one-liner machine, quipping almost every single line, and she's very pretty and mysterious and effortlessly charming and everyone loves her, but because she's got no flaws, no background, no grounding at all, she's just a cloud drifting through the episode being Spunky. I used that word before, and it's still the right one. that is her single trait - no, that and the sexual innuendo, because she is a M*ffat woman
the Doctor is also very very quirky, his jokey "I'm Sherlock Holmes" bit, which feels like badly written kids comedy, "I’m the clever one, you’re the potato one," which is pointlessly pointedly rude (speciest?) -- there have been other episodes where I think they've gone overboard with this, but certainly this one also does it, and it's barely ever well-balanced so that the sombre stuff works
SO. the M*ffat criteria of an episode: lots of quirky one-liners, witty fast-paced dialogue, innuendo and "sexiness," and vibes over setting, character-development, and relationship dynamics -- it's kind of just a classic, except that I think the plot is marginally better than usual, for being a pretty standard DW type
sidenote there's some really uninspired editing to show the audience that Clara in this episode and Oswin Oswald are the same. just one saying a line, and then the other saying the same line, repeated. if you're flashing back to make a point, at least make it interesting to watch
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To Survive this Pain, Part 1 - 11th Doctor x Reader
A/n: I'm not dead, I promise! I've just been struggling to finish off fics. If this seems slightly rushed it's because I just needed to finish something. It's exam season (it's extra-long now due to a certain virus), but they're over in a few weeks. I've been trying to stretch into writing for different Doctors, and in my new formats, but good old Eleven is easiest to write. Inbox is still open :)
Word Count: 2596
Summary: After the "death" of Amy and Rory, the Doctor is devastated. After deciding to isolate himself on a cloud, he leaves you with the Paternoster Gang till Strax informs you the Doctor wants to see you.
Warnings: Angst, Cold Doctor, Doctor is slightly ooc due to guilt, mild self-inflicted Injury, Bouts of Rage.
I should try to post part two as soon as possible.
This is my first ever Full Story (GIF isn't mine).
Your shoes splashed through puddles on the cobblestone road, on your way down to the park of which you knew he would be.
You hadn't heard from him in a short while now, but Jenny and Vastra frequently advising you to pay him a visit had been getting to you. That's why, when Strax brought you the news that the Doctor wanted to see you, you leapt at the opportunity.
You were worried, you'll admit. It was clear as day that losing Amy and Rory had him tearing himself to pieces. It was only a matter of time before he sent you off, too. Before he abandoned you.
Weaving around the quiet Victorian streets, the sun still yet to grace the sky, you had arrived at the park. Looking around the odd trees that decorated the perimeter, you picked out the tree that you knew had the elusive ladder directly above it. You stepped over the beds of wilting flowers that lined the pathways into the overgrown grass.
After completing the feat of reaching the ladders, consisting of either jumping or using your umbrella handle, you had successfully pulled the ladder down far enough to climb onto.
Making your way up the ice-cold rungs, you take a moment to consider why the Doctor called for you in the first place.
It made little sense to you. After all, the Doctor had been avoiding you for the better part of two months now; what had changed?
The Doctor planning on taking you home became all the more likely in your mind as you began to climb the spiral staircase, shivering as the late-autumn air nipped at your skin. Winter was slowly breaking through the remaining life.
If you weren't so hung up on adjusting to the less-than-ideal state of Victorian England, you would've had more time to worry about the Doctor. However, he was so hung up with his own issues, and you with yours, that he only crossed your mind when you were settling down for the night.
Of course, it hurt that you too. Never seeing Amy and Rory again. You did your best to hold onto the fact that they lived a happy life together.
A life that you knew could never have. You wish you could say goodbye to them, but you chose to carry the loss with you.
You were exhausted, it was safe to say. Spending your days helping out the Paternoster Gang with new cases that come in was certainly frustrating, especially when you had to avoid so much. Milk, green dyes, dodgy stairs, aliens and gas leaks. Nothing was safe in Victorian times.
Not that you didn't enjoy the company, mind you. Jenny always provided conversation, and paired with Vastra, there were plenty of investigations to be had. You just missed them all, sometimes.
The Doctor had become such a vital figure in your life that it didn't seem right for him to not be there. When you had both lost Donna, you were there for each other, and even then, he was a wreck. You had spent those first two months together, and you had never felt closer to someone before. At first, you couldn't admit it to yourself, but after six years, you knew that was when you started falling for him.
There was so much you didn't understand about him, yet so much he had begun to explain. You had seen and done so much together, places that surprised and scared the both of you. In distant worlds and ancient times, there lay so many memories that you had forgotten. Just another thing consumed by time.
A simple flip through your diaries would confirm that through all that, you admired him: mattering not which of his faces. You had accepted from the start that he was an unobtainable desire, no matter how you looked at it.
He was old, alien and a danger-magnet. Many considered the Doctor to be a God.
It upset you to know that the Doctor could never love you, not in the way you love him. Not in the way that he had shown you what love could be, what it should be. But that was what you had to expect from the Doctor.
You assumed that consistently losing those he loved must hurt immensely. You also imagine losing someone he could spend the rest of his lives with would leave another unfixable hole in his heart.
So it made sense to you that the Doctor would never willingly fall for a human. Your short life-spans and weak bodies meant that so much as a single bullet could rob you of your life.
The thought of what a state he must've been in at that very moment was disturbing, to say the least. You had seen the Doctor angry before, and it was not an easy sight.
His heart held so much pain, so much guilt.
After what felt like a good three minutes, you stepped off the staircase. Your shoes now emerged in a cloud, which could somehow keep you from plummeting into the streets below. You felt surprisingly light, almost like you were standing in a pit of feathers, yet some odd force kept you from losing your balance. Plucking your key out of your pocket, you press your hand against the door of the TARDIS. You unlock the door, pulling the key from the lock and stepping into the Console room.
You called out for him. After listening for a moment, you concluded that the Doctor must've been elsewhere.
The TARDIS was a glum sight. Most of the orange lights were dimmed: if functioning at all. A few even had fist-holes in them. There were what looked like hundreds of books cluttering the console, all of varying topics: The Time War, Time Lord Psychology, the History of the Universe, Earth History, Greatest War Losses. Some had bookmarks; others he had clearly tabbed.
Paper littered the glass flooring, each scribbled in several handwritings. They all clearly varied in ages and sizes, some a muddy brown, others a vivid white. Quite a lot were in small clusters of pages, as though they were ripped from a book. You picked up one of the sheets to inspect closer, and your heart nearly broke.
Each page had a sort of date in the corner, which you quickly realised must've been an approximation of the Doctor's age at the time. They were diary entries, ripped out and thrown in what you assumed to be a fit of rage.
The Doctors' tweed jacket had slipped off the console and onto the floor. The contents of his pockets spilt out onto the floor.
You leant to pick it up, grimacing at just how much he was carrying around. Throwing the jacket over the railing, you avoided stepping on any more pieces of paper.
"Tidy some of this, will you?" You addressed the TARDIS, a hand on the edge of the controls, "I'll go talk to him, where is he?" The TARDIS clicked and hummed in response, showing you a blueprint on the monitor, "The Library? Okay then."
Darting out of the Console Room, you attempt to discover the library as soon as possible. You vaguely remembered the three places the library is most likely to crop up. You went from there. Fortunately for you, you didn't have to go far before the library appeared.
You had always felt as though the library was too empty. Four stories of shelves filled with books, all visible from the ground floor, the rows of shelves created a sort of maze of titles and colours. The Doctor must've owned every single book in the galaxy, judging by the sheer size. Not to mention the several dozen or so empty seats. The library could easily hold thousands of people at once, yet there is rarely ever so much as a whisper.
You had a fair clue as to why the Doctor would be hiding away in there.
There the Doctor was, turned away from the door, in an intricately decorated armchair. You could just about make out the top of his head. You loomed behind him awkwardly, unsure or not if he was aware of your presence.
"Doctor?" You faltered. His head perked up slightly, and the Doctor strained out a hum. He stood up, his arms tiredly hanging at his sides after he stretched. It checked out with your fit of rage theory. The Doctor walked up to you, and you only then noticed how fraught he was.
His expression was tired, eyes sunken and lips pressed into a thin line. His shirt was unkempt: the sleeves were torn slightly. It also appeared burnt or covered in dust. His hands were covered in dust too.
However, you noticed that his right hand had quite a few cuts and gashes, which all seeped out orange-tinted blood.
His greenish-brown eyes search yours for a moment as a tear rolls down his cheek. He inhales deeply, nodding to himself.
"Look, I..." The Doctor paused, again glancing over into your eyes, "I'm sorry- I can't, I can't do this," He took in a trembling gasp for air, "I don't want to, but I can't keep doing this. I'm sick of it. I can't keep losing people. I'm so sick of saving the universe." Unsure of what to you, you reach a hand out to the Doctors. He puts a hand on top of yours, keeping the other, bloodier fist at his side. You brush your thumb over his knuckles, his hand hot against yours. The Doctor continues, "Everyone, everyone who travels with me leaves, or dies, and I'm always alone again. Alone and in pain. I can't keep doing this..."
Smiling sadly, you nod, "I understand," You looked back up at the Doctor, "If you called me here to convince me to go home-"
"Take you home?" The Doctor's voice cracked, "I could never. That'd be just as bad as losing you. I need you."
Oh, the Doctor have his way of making you feel important at the worst moments. Your insides bubbled giddily, but you refused to show it. Instead, you ignored it to the best of your ability; what he was saying was important.
Your attention had fallen back down to his hand, and it looked considerably worse than you initially thought. Pieces of glass dug into his knuckles, the skin seeming gnarled by the force of the oncoming storm, "Doctor, your hand,"
"It's fine." The Doctor seethed, staring numbly at you, "I'm not human, it's not going to kill me."
You wanted to protest. However, given the Doctor's already fragile temperament, you weren't going to push it. Instead, after an instant of silence, you asked a simple question, "How have you been, then?"
The Doctor blinked, giving an answer careful thought. He had an earnest grimace as he finally spoke, "Furious."
"I can see, that" You hum, putting equal thought into how you should approach your response, "What do you think you're going to do, now?"
"Stay here. I'm not getting involved anymore." The Doctor spat, pulling his hand away from yours, turning to sit down, "I don't want to care."
"That's fair enough." You reassure. You didn't like the sound of the Doctor retiring too much, but you respected his choice. If he didn't want to save the world, he doesn't have to. You hoped that, in his chosen conditions, he would heal.
You vowed to yourself at that moment that you'd do everything you could to help him. Starting with his physical injuries.
You heard the armchair squeak softly as the Doctor flopped back against it, picking up a book from the coffee table and beginning to read. You headed back over to the door and grabbed the small medkit from the bracket on the wall. You paced back to the Doctor, pulling a pouffe from a few feet away to sit on. The Doctor glared daggers at you, exhaling sharply and holding his arm out in your general direction. You thanked him meekly, beginning to remove the sharp, reinforced glass shards from his knuckles.
If you were new to travelling with the Doctor, you thought that seeing this might hurt you more. However, six years of travelling was more than enough for the two of you to be used to this sort of treatment. He never seemed to care much about his physical health, more about yours. That often ended up in you worrying about the Doctor, not that you minded. You supposed it worked out, as you both fussed over each other. If the Doctor's previous face saw how he was acting, you were sure he'd have a fit. Not that he mattered, as he was still a part of the man in front of you.
You could tell by the downtrodden way he pretended to read his book, staring a hole through it, that something was bothering him.
"Are you scared of me?" The Doctor halted, voice brittle. He had taken note of how delicate you were and had drawn it up to a fear that the Doctor would lash out at you.
"No," You shushed, focusing on removing the glass from his hands.
"You don't sound sure,"
"I am." You reassured bluntly, "I'm just being careful. I don't want to hurt you more."
"I'm not hurt! You don't need to fuss over me,"
You lifted your eyebrows slightly, "There's nothing wrong with feeling, Doctor. As you said yourself, feelings enhance life." The Doctor exhaled petulantly, eyes back on his book. "But not even you can be in pain forever."
"What is my alternative?" The Doctor strangled out, "I forget? I do something selfish?"
You grimace as you remove the last small shard from his pinky. You take out a clean cloth and some water, dampening the rag as you speak, "You're forced to survive this pain, this guilt, but you will grow from it. You make mistakes so that you learn from them."
You gently clear the blood from his hands and start to apply mild pressure to the deeper wounds. The two of you continued in silence, the Doctor only occasionally removing his hand to turn the page.
He was such a different person to the goofball front you were used to. He was melancholic. However, you would see a small amount of your Doctor bubbling to the surface. He would occasionally chuckle at the book he was reading or draw circles on your palm as you held his hand still. It provided you with enough comfort to know that you weren't wasting your time.
You finished up your last-minute medical care with a bandage around his hand. You closed the medkit.
"Alright, I'm just going to go restock this, then I'll go tidy up the paper in the console room,"
"Oh- right that... Must've been a mess. I'm sorry,"
"It's okay." You smiled pleasantly, "Come find me if you need me, okay? I won't be far,"
The Doctor caught your hand in his, just as you were about to leave, he tugged at your arm. You leant down, and the Doctor pressed a short kiss to your cheek. You countered with a kiss of your own on the middle of his forehead. Just like you used to, back with his previous incarnation.
As you wandered off, you were oblivious as to what that gesture meant. Was it a thank you? Another apology? Was it even platonic?
From behind you, you swore that he said something you thought you'd never hear the Doctor say.
#eleventh doctor x reader#11th doctor x reader#the doctor x reader#doctor who x reader#angst#part 1#crying#slight fluff
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