#it's yours and whatever you choose to do with it — you'll be great

[himi-wiz]

-making commitments to do something (learn a skill, pick up a new interest, finish your personal project) but never doing it because you keep forgetting to scrap up the time to stick to it and it has been XX years...

-doing something and realising you have already done it. cool! so wait, what are you supposed to do after this?

-wondering why you feel shitty because surely you didn't even do anything! (turns out you can't remember how you've been anxious about a negative interaction that happened or an event that utterly wrecked your social battery but you forgot about it)

-what are dates? you have no concept of time

-you don't have memories. not much beyond significant moments that you loathed and regretted and are forced to fixate over for feeling like you've failed. but there are some nice moments like how that friend made you smile by sending a cute picture and let you sit by your side or that you had enjoyed how the cool breeze felt brushing against your face.

-you're forced to live in the moment. you don't remember a thing about the past and it's good because you can't remember how awful you should feel. but it's not good either because you can't look back and see and compare yourself and how much you have grown. you feel like you haven't changed when everyone else have. so who are you now?

-you know you should be doing something but don't remember what and it's going to kill you trying to remember this. you don't have enough energy to spare punching yourself over this so hopefully it's not that important? (it was.)

-forgetting is good sometimes. it's far easier to forget, then rediscover and relearn how much you loved something like a forgotten time capsule or a childhood treasure chest buried in the sandbox. trying out old nostalgic things is very much intertwined in your life.

-the inability to retain information and the frustration that comes with it. you know this, you should know this but as you scavenge the disjointed space that is your brain, there's no salvageable knowledge you can use.

-are you sure you're remembering this right? you're sure... you were sure... and now you're not.

-imagine drinking water regularly. or eating. showering or sleeping early when you promised yourself you should. (please set timers or like get people to remind you of this/support each other in reminding with friend circles)

-you don't enjoy being doubted but it's difficult not to believe and it hurts when people lose hope and trust in you because you do have a history of not performing well... ehe. well it's find you'll forget the stress and upset about this too.

-there's always this underlying sensation of horror of being left behind. does anyone in your life need you? how could they actually love you but you couldn't remember to love them? the world will go on without you, you can go on without the things you claim you needed. what makes you any special, any valuable to anyone when you don't remember how to value anything?

-i'm sorry i forgot whatever we had done together. i'm sorry i couldn't remember how you fulfilled me. i'm sorry i forgot that you exist. i didn't mean to, i promise. it's just that i turn around and i can't remember your presence, the fact that you exist and are a part of my life i should look forward to. but i will remember the sensation of being loved and doted on once. i think. I'm sure I would.

-you are never whole. you get the sense that you can't be when you see the heinous voids in your vision of yourself and your history that you can't remember how to feel about it. and that's unusual compared to the rest of the world with such clear clarity of themselves so much you feel like an outsider.

-you're still here regardless. you still can't remember a lot of things and don't think you'll fully understand the impact this has on your life, how much this will cost you — a test paper, an appointment, a job offer, a friendship... but hey, you will live. you'll smile at the funny post you'll see, the scene from your favourite show play out with flashy graphics and you remember to be hyped about it again, the wind caressing at your face feels really nice. and you think, motivated — that maybe you should work on something you'll need to improve.

and it's a cycle you have to practice to get better at managing you.

is it good? is it bad? how is your life now? how are you supposed to feel about it? that's up to you to decide. you tried to yesterday, you'll fumble around today, and you'll continue to keep living again tomorrow.

Also fun fact, I have been diagnosed with adhd and I believe I have aphantasia (lack of visual imagery — and no, assuming that you could because you can associate things with other words is not visualising them) so double whammy on not remembering things via images or visually but more sensations and scenarios. You might want to note and check for these ehe~ ☆

“shitty memory” aesthetic

-giving ur friends the same information over and over because u forgot u ever gave it to them

-opening up a new text post only to forget what u were going 2 say

-never changing a wall calendar/needing to look up what day of the week something will be

-literally not being able to remember what happened yesterday/an hour ago/five minutes ago

-forgetting where ur going/what ur doing in the middle of doing it

-flipping through the beginning of a book because u forgot some characters and plot development

-making a typo, make a mental note to fix it, get up to do something, keep typing without fixing the typo

-”haha ur memory cant be THAT bad”

-it can be

-reminding urself 2 do something but u forget

-writing reminders, forgetting that u wrote a reminder/forgetting what was on the reminder/forgetting where u put the reminder

-”just put something in ur room out of place before u go 2 sleep” and ur room has so much shit on the floor u wouldnt even be able 2 tell whats out of place

-alternately: doing the above and then forgetting what it was supposed to remind u of

-did that happen or was i dreaming

-i was gonna put something here but i FORGOT it and i HATE it

[hansoeii]

Hullo! I’ve been watching a bunch of your Timelapses and I was wondering how do you always come up with the colours for your pieces? They’re always so cohesive and pleasing to look at (I almost exclusively work in greyscale so if I’m using colour it’s always a lucky guess and it never looks quite right)

Hey there!

I have to be honest that most of the time I don't actually know what I'm doing and that I have no idea how most of my pieces are gonna turn out. My work process is usually based on "Fuck around and find out", haha. I'm happy to know that it apparently doesn't come across that way, though.

A lot of it comes very naturally to me simply because I've been drawing non-stop for so long, but I can give you some small tips that really help me:

1. Have as many references as possible!

Here's what my reference sheet looked like for the Jayvik piece:

It helped me a lot to understand the overall color scheme I wanted to convey. Lots of very cold tones, pinks and very light blues and greens. These colours sorround Jayce and Viktor throughout all of season 2 and I wanted to keep them, especially since in my piece they are lying in the glowing hexcore.

Don't shy away from using references, get as many as you possibly can! Look at other poeple's art too and try to understand how they work with colours.

2. Work with complementary colours!

Since I paint a lot of romantic illustrations I want them to look pleasing and comforting, which I can accomplish by using complementary colours! You see this a lot with couples that are blue and red coded, for example. And I wanted to do the same thing in the Jayvik piece! For that I used the highlights in their hair!

Viktor's highlights are a soft pink hue.

While Jayce's are a soft blue hue.

The colour wheel works perfect for figuring out if two colors compliment each other because they are literally right across from one another!

3. It doesn't have to be true to life.

Pretty self-explanatory, but I thought I'd add it in here anyways. It's important to understand how colour and light works, but you don't always have to follow the rules. Does the rim light look cool but it makes zero sense? Who cares! Keep the cool rim light! Just have fun and fuck around.

4. A little trick to make your life easier!

I'm not excatly the best at colour theory, I still struggle with it quite a bit, but here's a little trick I like to use from time to time:

If you want all your colours to look coherent, take one specific color as your flat colour. Choose a hue that you would like your piece to have. Like this:

Now you choose whatever colours your characters have and paint them in. For example, here are the skin colours I chose for Jayce and Viktor:

Looks off, right? These colours don't fit the overall piece at all. So what do we do?

Turn down the opacity! It's that easy, wahoo!

I went from 100 Opacity to 72 for this specific illustration. And look at that!

It's so much nicer already! Now you know what colours to use as your actual flats! Just repeat this with every other part of your illustration and you'll have a great starting point. :)

I really hope this was helpful! I'm not an actual teacher and I don't have a proper illustration degree, so some things might not be completely accurate, but I thought I'd try my hand at this anyways!

[nikovraskol]

Okay, seeing the one where we have to get permission to have a job is kinda funny. Especially since in the state I live, at 16 or older you're able to get a job without a parents permission. If it doesn't require extreme labor, NDA's, or requires being 21 and allowed near drugs or naughties.

So, what job was Reader going for? Secretary work? Lol, if we just decided to work at a cafe or something, we wouldn't have to worry about a permission slip.

Which leaves me to wonder, if Alfred set Bruce on Reader, but Reader said nothing and got a job? Bruce finding out Reader has a job, instead of just asking for money?

Especially if Tim recognizes Reader after getting a drink? But he's questioning why we're working there. He chooses to sit back and observe. Only to watch as an absolute Karen yells at Reader and dumps hot coffee on them.

oopsy poopsy i am NAWT familiar the usa child labour laws, but honestly imagined mc as just snatching the first job she sees, like yk when u apply for a bunch of jobs only for like the worst one to call you back?

like u apply for 30 jobs, each of them being like a barista or a cashier or something normal but the only one to reach back to u is a taxidermy LMAO (true story)

masterlist

honestly, you getting some minimum wage job as a barista -- working in some relatively nice area of gotham then one day you just see tim.

just sat there, some over-expensive drink in his hand as he stares at you in confusion? why is his sibling working at a coffee shop? bitch, your dad is bruce wayne WHY are you working a minimum wage job?? if you wanted a job so bad, you should've applied for wayne enterprises or something!

he tries to talk to you only for you to ignore him, acting like you don't know him, it stings. you were preening for his affection a month ago, how could you casually just ignore him?!

whatever plans he had, cancelled, he spends the day sat in a booth, watching your every move. anytime one of your co-workers come up to him and ask him to leave he just tips them like $100 to shut them up.

then, he sees you handling yourself and sighs, maybe you're okay at this, it's good for you, as helpless as you are, to get some experience.

until a nasty customer comes in, shouting at you and berating you, all you can do is lower your head and apologise -- because it's a customer! you can't fight back because if you get fired you'll have to go job hunting again, you'd rather get beat up by damian.

but the sight of you, your head lowered and a frown on your face. well, tim just can't have you working in such environments, he'll just let bruce know.

you pull up home, you're tired from working a 9-5, you smell like caffiene and your social battery is in DEBT only for your father to put his hand on your shoulder and sigh,

"quit your job." he says softly, as if he's doing you a damn favour. when you obviously refuse, he says nothing, just sighs.

and then you pull up to work the next day and your manager tells you you've been promoted and will now work at wayne enterprises ?!

bruce bought the coffee shop just to have you work with him! isn't that great? he can keep an eye on you AND you can spend time with your family!! don't worry, he won't let you do any hard work, in fact, the only thing you're tasked with is spending time with your family !!

just remember to thank tim, he got you a better job AND he gave you oppurtunities to spend time with them, that's all you've ever wanted, right?

if yall sent in a request i PROMISEE i will get back.. i'm just switching between writing the next chapter and giggling at all the nice things yall r saying >3>

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Fellow Honest - Playful Dress Vignette

"My stars, a grave insult!"

[Scalding Sands – Silk City]

Fellow: Now, ladies and gentlemen!

Fellow: What you are about to see here is a one-of-a-kind wonder.

Fellow: This is truly a genuinely invaluable show you are about to witness.

[rabble, rabble]

Fellow: Nice, them people're finally startin' to gather…!

Fellow: If you're interested in what I have to show, please, drop a few madol in this can over here. Any amount is fine～!

Fellow: And now, feast your eyes…

Fellow: On this… A one-of-a-kind puppet that can walk on its own without strings!

Fellow: What do you think, Mister? Madam? Doesn't it look so life-like? Amazing, is it not!?

Fellow: This exquisite beastman doll is the only one of its kind.

Fellow: You all are fortunate indeed to see such a fantastical sight. If your interest was piqued, I implore you to leave a token of appreciation…

[rabble, rabble]

Fellow: …Eh? It's not a puppet? A normal living being?

Fellow: HOW RUDE! WHAT EVIDENCE HAVE YOU FOR YOUR ACCUSATION!?

Fellow: Please, look carefully. It might be able to move without strings, but even if I poke or tickle it, it won't even cry out or laugh.

Fellow: It is a beautifully crafted puppet. Yes, that's right, there can be no question.

[Gidel nods]

Fellow: Ah, stop, Gidel!

Fellow: …It moved? Oh no, it must have just been a trick of the eye.

Fellow: Or, are you perhaps trying to insinuate that I, Fellow Honest, am a liar?

Fellow: You didn't mean it…? Ahhh, oh, but you've hurt my feelings so～!

Fellow: I've been known as Honest John, a man of integrity, pure and innocent, and yet you would call me a liar…

Fellow: I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SUFFER SUCH A DAY! MY STARS, A GRAVE INSULT!

Fellow: Hey now, Mister. Since you've damaged my pride like this, feels like you should provide me with a show of good faith and…

Gidel: [sneeze]

Fellow: AH!!

Fellow: U-Uhh… Ladies and gentlemen, I… Hm? You want your money and time back? …No need to get so angry… Hahaha…

Fellow: …Crap.

Fellow: RUN, GIDEL!!

Fellow: Haah… Pant, pant… Did we lose them?

Fellow: …YOU NITWIT! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE RIGHT THEN TO SNEEZE!?

Fellow: Just a little longer and we woulda gotten something extra on top of their spectator fees!

Gidel: …

Fellow: Ugh, whatever. ...All we got to show for that in the end was just a little bit of spare change…

Fellow: …And whatever small bits and bobs of jewelry they had on them.

Fellow: I stealthily swiped them with my magic while those idiots were all focused on you, but there's not much here. Shame.

Fellow: This dump ain't worth staying in. Time to move on, Gidel! Fwahaha!

[Fairest City – Crystal Galleria]

Fellow: Look carefully, fair people! What I have here is a magestone. However, this is no ordinary magestone.

Fellow: The date: 1000 years ago; the place: the depths leagues below the Coral Sea. This magestone was said to be sought even by the Great Seven!

Fellow: It may look like an ordinary pebble. So, what makes this an extraordinary find? Once you hear what I have to say, you'll never recover from the shock!

Fellow: Listen and be amazed! This is a miraculous stone where whosoever holds it becomes capable of using magic!

Gidel: ! [honks horn]

Fellow: For you, ladies and gentlemen, I risked life and limb searching high and low for this in the most secluded southern regions.

Fellow: There is only one of these gemstones in existence. We'll start the bidding at 50,000 madol (500 Thaumarks)! Come, come, all who are interested, please raise up a hand!

[silence]

Fellow: …Huh, no one wants to raise a hand? What, do I have before me a gaggle of broke spectators?

Fellow: Heh, gutless, all of you. Ah, but damn it all! Is there not a single one among you with the courage to reach out and grasp the miracle laid out before you!?

Fellow: With icy demeanors like that, even my fleas will laugh at me.

Fellow: …I'm sure you all are simply thinking there's no way you could trust vagabonds like us, isn't that right?

Fellow: You think I'm selling you a fake? You think you'll be wasting your money?

Fellow: Aah, that's no good, my dear fellows! If you mistrust me so fervently, it's not as fun...

Fellow: Don't worry. If you believe in what I tell you, there's nothing for you to be afraid of.

Fellow: COME ON TO THE THEATER!

Fellow: LIFE IS FUN

Fellow: …Ah, there we go, that was quick. 80,000 madol from the gent over there! And 100,000 madol from the one over here!

Fellow: A good call, everyone! With such wise decision-making skills, you all have a future scholar inside you!

Fellow: Fwahahaha! Look at 'em idiots believing at whatever stupid story I throw their way!

Fellow: A magestone that'll give you the ability to use magic～? If something like that really existed, I'd've used it myself.

Fellow: Even the guys who were the most skeptical leapt at the chance once I used my Unique Magic. I sure enjoy pulling the wool over idiots who try to look down on me.

Fellow: Hm, let's see how much we earned today…

Fellow: Two, four, six, eight… Oho, not a bad haul. Look, Gidel, we'll be feasting tonight!

[Gidel hops happily]

Fellow: Word's probably got around by now, especially after I raked in this much. This might be the end of the line for our earnings here…

Gidel: …

Fellow: What? You want to head south this time?

Fellow: Not a bad idea. How 'bout we target vacationers at them fancy resorts?

Fellow: Let's see if we can kindly crash their little enjoyable vacations.

Fellow: …Yeah, that's perfect. You're a genius, Gidel. This time, we'll be the fancy, rich folk out on vacation.

Fellow: We go where we want, when we want. We have nothing and no one tying us down.

Fellow: That's the least we deserve as free-spirited folk!

[Sunset Savanna – Sunrise City]

Fellow: EEEEP～～! I PROMISE, I WON'T DO ANYTHING BAD ANYMORE, I PROMISE!

Fellow: HELP～～～!

[Sunset Savanna – Sunrise City]

Fellow: SHIT! THAT MASSIVE CHEAPSKATE!

Fellow: They were carrying around a crazy fat wallet. They could've spared even a little bit and nothing woulda hurt their bottom line.

Fellow: Yet they caused a fuss just from me trying to swipe a few thousand madol… Ouuuch, it's still throbbing where they hit me.

[stomachs gurgle]

Fellow: Man, I'm starving. It's gonna suck to go another night without dinner.

Fellow: Ain't there something we can find to eat…?

[Gidel starts to drift away]

Fellow: …Hey, wait, Gidel! Don't open that can!

Fellow: Geez… Don'tcha see what it says right here? It's got OIL inside. You can't eat it, even if you open it.

Fellow: You do the same thing every time you're hungry. I've taught you dozens of times, can't you read what it says?

Gidel: …

Fellow: C'mon, squat here a little. I'll draw it out on the ground, so don't forget this time, 'kay?

Fellow: O is for Orange! It looks round and tasty, don't it?

Fellow: I is for Ice Cream! That thin, ice popsicle was pretty tasty the other day, wasn't it?

Fellow: L is for laugh! Don't it look like a smile when you look at it on it's side?

Fellow: …Why is L the only thing that's not food? I couldn't think of anything, so sue me.

Fellow: There's only so much I can teach you, too.

Fellow: Tch. If I had been able to go to school… By now I woulda been more…

[Gidel pats Fellow]

Gidel: …

Fellow: What? We don't need school to fill our bellies?

Fellow: Sigh, oh, Gidel. You know, you're…

Fellow: TOTALLY RIGHT!!

Fellow: That's right, we're living just fine even without going to school.

Fellow: Learning whatever with books and pencils is utter nonsense.

Fellow: We'll just clean out those suckers that went though their oh so lovely education, and just live a life that's even fuller.

Gidel: !

Fellow: That's right, leave it to me! Follow me, kid, and one day, you'll be a grand showstopper too.

Fellow: We'll get some halfwit students to dance for us on a stage for our own amusement!

Fellow: Now… What's more important right now is figuring out what we're going to eat tonight. I'll try to find something, so you start a fire.

Fellow: Just throw whatever you find into the fire, like wooden crates, or posters or… Hm?

Fellow: This job posting here… Oh, well, well!

Fellow: Look here, Gidel, That one prick is looking to hire someone. And this time, it's at an amusement park!

Fellow: I don't know what they're planning, but… Last time we did work for 'em, we made a killing.

Fellow: I can't stand how he looks down on us, but there's a lot more to gain out of it…

Fellow: Why don't we just go hear them out, Gidel? If we don't like it, we can just bail.

Fellow: We live only for today, never thinking about what tomorrow might bring. We do whatever work keeps our lives free and fun. 'Cause we can go and do whatever we want.

[Gidel nods, Fellow whistles as they go off]

Requested by @sakurakudo.

[magistralucis]

@absolut--kurant!

[sxorpiomooon]

What does your older self wants to say to you? A pac reading<3

check out my paid readings

Tip me

check out my other pacs and astrology stuff!!

Pile 1-

you need to let go, this is so funny to me given the pile that you guys have chosen has a tattoo of "amor fati" which literally means this. If you've chosen this pile you might have an anxious attachment and some of you need to go off a relationship that you are holding. A japanese song is playing in my head? Sometimes you only hold onto things very tightly because deep down you know that the moment you let go they are going to leave you. Your older self wants you to let go of such relations one particular scenario that I'm getting is of someone being in a toxic relationship being completely dependent on their significant others knowing that the other person might not choose to stay with them once they let go or once they are given the choice to do so. Stop being dependent on people and allow them and give them the space for them to leave you if they wish to do so the only way to understand how much they love is by giving them the space to leave then only you know that they truly do love you. The other people in this pile need to know that all relations require space and time for both individuals to grow individually too. Only when you have enough space and time to grow individually you can contribute something to the relation. Some of you might have ashlesha nakshatra. Also take care of yourself by yourself your older self really wants you to take care of your hair lmao I keep hearing "wash up wash up" I'm also seeing fishes for some reason those orange ones I don't know what they're called? You might love them now or definitely own them in the future. Your older self also wants you to know that the cycle ends with you. Breaking off from the generation trauma cycle seems to be a very important theme here. I see y'all are already very cool but are even cooler in the future man I'm not gonna lie I also keep hearing alt for some reason whether it's for songs or fashion but y'all are gonna be fucking cool in the future man. Be resilient I have full faith in you pile 1 do it for the super cool you. I also see this pile moving out of this house if they haven't alr I keep getting japan again and again but y'all gonna live a pretty great lifestyle also reminded of lucky from the blue sisters novel? Thankyou!!

Pile 2-

this pile might have the tendency to overreact at that exact moment when they are faced with a problem. Their emotions at times might make it hard for them to actually get a good grasp on the situation. Your older self wants you to learn to differentiate between illusion and intuition lmao. I also had a vision of someone journaling so I think the older self might want you guys to write it down before reacting or coming to a conclusion on any sort of situation. I also think that writing it down might make it easy or better for you to feel and understand your emotions better and the problem as well. This pile also needs to focus on their unconscious mind? If you are manifesting something you might have some biases already that you need to pay attention to. This pile might also easily interpret things and get confused. Your older self wants you to follow your heart I heard "it will lead you to the right path" and right after this "sometimes to run is the brave thing" played in my head from its time to go by Taylor swift. You need to act on whatever feelings you have some of you might write and be confused about whether it's good or not or some confusion related to it here's your answer- it is<3 go ahead and follow your heart pile two it will never lead you to the wrong path in the long end. I also heard "beauty and art is everywhere" this pile needs to follow their passion. Lord this is ending on such a good note. Your older self also wants you to know that you should not fear bc all your hardwork will pay off<3 all your hardwork and sacrifices will pay off and you'll get the success that you desire and want. This was also a pile that I chose and I needed to hear this<3

Pile 3-

The time or whatever you are going through will not be wasted. The journey is there to prepare you and give you the experiences that you need to get to the level that you want to achieve in your life. This pile might be going through some hard things. This pile also needs to know that you cannot force anyone to grow early or to change early or hurry up some process everything has its own time be patient a delay does not mean a no. This pile also needs to come face to face with their problems and fear only then they'll be able to move past it. "The only way out is through" "change is the only constant thing in life" "no one else can do it for you" are the things that I'm hearing. This pile knows what's needed to be done but might fear the unknown. A big transformation that is much needed is coming after that I see a wonderful new beginning for you<3

thankyou!!

[tarotwithavi]

I get money, I am a star

How can you make more money? How can you attract abundance into your life?

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Masterlist 💌 paid services

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻❤️

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 1

You have a special ability to attract people, and that's because the way you see and understand life is very different from everyone else. I'm also getting the message that you can use your unique perspective and appearance to earn more money. For example, you could become a social media influencer or start your own blog where you share your opinions with others. You might even consider writing articles or books to share your knowledge, which could also help you earn more.

You have a talent or skill that could lead to great financial success. All you need to do is focus on developing it. This might seem like a random message, but I sense that some of you have hacking skills that could be used to catch online predators. You could make money while also doing something good for society, and you can do this without revealing your identity.

I also heard the phrase “secret superstar,” which might have special meaning for some of you.

You can attract abundance into your life just by being yourself. You don’t have to follow strict instructions on how to manifest things. You are fully capable of discovering new methods that work for you when it comes to manifestation. Remember, sometimes you need to "fake it till you make it." Don’t worry about what others might think or say; be the most confident and imaginative version of yourself. Believe in the impossible, and you’ll see it become reality. Dream big, and don’t hesitate to manifest the most outrageous things, even those that seem out of reach.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 2

I see that some of you are thinking about choosing a business major in college, and I want you to know that this is a great choice for you. I got the message that you have the potential to make more money by helping others learn how to manage and grow their own money. You could become a freelancer, offering advice on how to use money wisely, or you might even start a course where you teach people how to invest and handle their finances.

You have a special knowledge or skill that could be valuable to others, and you could exchange this knowledge for money. Some of you might also be excellent teachers, guides, gurus, or counselors. You hold the key to success—your ideas, inspirations, and whatever thoughts come to your mind right now could be what lead you to success.

I also see that some of you don't feel the need to make a lot of money; you just want to earn enough to live a good, comfortable life. You don't necessarily desire a luxurious lifestyle. Some of you could even become great spiritual teachers.

You can attract abundance into your life by growing spiritually. However, I also notice that some of you have been slacking on your spiritual practices. For example, something you used to do regularly, like manifestation, meditation, or journaling, you now barely do once every two weeks. These practices help keep you emotionally stable. If you start doing them regularly again, you'll notice a significant change in the energy around you.

At this moment, you need to focus on your studies and avoid chasing temporary pleasures. Concentrate on the things that will bring you long-term fulfillment and happiness.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

PILE 3

You need to break free from the cycle you're currently stuck in, and I'm getting the message that this may be connected to your ancestors. It’s possible that your family has experienced a fluctuating cycle of wealth and poverty over time. As a result, you might be afraid of making more money because you fear that you’ll end up facing the same ups and downs as your ancestors did.

I also see that you have a mindset of lack when it comes to money, and this needs to change. If you don’t shift your thinking, you may struggle to manifest more money in your life. Another issue is that you tend to overspend on things you want but don’t really need. Then, when it comes time to spend on something you actually need, you might find yourself short of money. It’s important to learn how to manage your finances better so that you have enough money for both what you want and what you need.

Some of you might be thinking about starting a business or entering a partnership with someone. This could be a good opportunity, but you need to be very careful about who you choose to partner with. For others, starting your own business could be a great option. I see that some of you are considering businesses related to jewelry, clothing (especially thrifted clothes), or decorative items.

You also need to let go of habits or memories that are no longer serving you. You can attract abundance by releasing an addiction or behavior that is holding you back. For instance, I see that some of you may be spending too much time on social media or on your phones. You need to be mindful of how much time you’re wasting on these activities. Instead, invest your time in something that will benefit you. If something isn't adding value to your life, don’t waste your time on it.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[yandere-sins]

God I love Drugged! Darling. It's fucked up but I like it. I've been having thoughts about what with a drugged darling escaping but then starting to go through withdrawal for whatever they've been dosed up on leading to their recapture

Mhm, delicious!! Thanks for requesting ^-^

Warning for Yandere and Drugs (+ side-effects like sickness)

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

♡ It's been a while since your last hit, and honestly, you've been doing great! You would have run away much earlier if you knew it would be that easy. You feel so damn unstoppable as you make your way through the forest, unable to feel your feet hurting or your heart crying for a break. It's so freeing! Life is suddenly good again! You thought you'd be on the leash of that madman forever, but looking back at it now, you never realized how strong and capable you were of taking care of yourself. He tried to tell you that you were nothing without him, that you needed him. But you don't need anyone; you have all the power you need!

♡ Slowly, you come to a halt. Surely you ran far enough away from the horror house your yan kept you in, right? You've been running for hours, and not even branches or bushes could stop you even though they tried to hold you back by bumping into you and snagging your clothes, little scratches littering your body as you seek shelter from the nightfall in an abandoned building. At least you'll be safe from the wind and rain if the weather changes, it seems suitable for your first night of freedom even though there's no comfort in the cold walls. But being able to choose where you rest for the night is enough to make you feel ecstatic, it's been so long since you've been given the choice to do what you wanted.

♡ Truth be told, you could have continued onwards, maybe even made it back to the city before sunrise if you kept running. Your heart was still pumping the blood through your veins vigorously, and your legs only started to wobble the moment you slowed down the pace. When you lean forward to sit on the floor, your knees cave in, and you drop to the ground, smashing your face into the cold concrete, but all you can do is laugh. It didn't hurt you at all. This is what freedom is all about, and your body knows it. You could have gotten up at any second; you were strong and amazing. You had gotten away all on your own without any help, and life was getting good again. But before you realize the change inside of you, you are overcome with exhaustion. Whatever! You have all the time in the world, now that you escaped! No one can stop you anymore, especially not that psycho who kidnapped you in the first place! A little rest, and you'd be up and running the last stretch, finally reuniting with civilization. Everything would be okay again!

♡ When you wake up just a couple hours later, you feel the cold sweat clinging to your skin like a faint reminder of failure. The sun was still far from rising, the ground hard and icy. Every bone in your body is rigid, and a mighty headache blooms in your head, pushing and punching against your skull as if trying to break out. Nothing could have warned you from throwing up the second you sat up, your stomach too empty to produce vomit, yet you gag and dry heave as if your life depends on it. With tears falling from your eyes, you wipe your mouth, looking up at your blurry surroundings and wondering where you are. Even when you plant your feet firmly on the ground, the second you try to shift your weight onto your legs, you crumple to the ground again helplessly. Despite the obvious pains, you can barely feel your aching muscles, yet they don't let you get up even one inch from the ground.

♡ As you sit there, listening to the bird chirping in the trees above you, every sound feels like a smack over the head, the world spinning madly. You try to recollect what happened and try to think about your intentions and goals. It all seems so far away. You are thirsty beyond anything you have ever felt, your throat clenching desperately every time you swallow. The feeling makes you want to throw up again, but you breathe deeply until it disappears. It's all you can do as you lie inside the dilapidated building. Where have you gone wrong? Why did you feel so free and light yesterday, but now you cannot even move? Life was supposed to be good now... why doesn't it feel that way.

♡ "Look who's finally calmed down," someone remarks, followed by the sound of a foot hitting a bottle. The screeching grates on your nerves, and you cover your ears with your hands, trying to block it out. "What a dinky place..." the voice mutters, and it is so much closer now, even through your covered ears. Someone touches your face, wiping a thumb along your lips. You feel the wet dirt and spit being pushed aside as the warm touch lures you out of your defenses. Your headache has prevented you from realizing it, but when you look into the face of the person who captured you, you flinch. How could they find you? You had run so far!

♡ "Thought you gotten away?" they mock you, grinning smugly at the perplexed look on your face. "Darling, you've barely made it ten minutes from our home."

♡ A small part of you wonders if they are telling the truth, but another wave of nausea hits before you can ponder it. "I feel sick," you mumble as you bend over, crying as violent contractions go through you. "I don't know what's going on."

♡ "There, there," the yan comforts you, rubbing your back with their warm hand, a groan escaping you from how good it feels when their warmth seeps into your frigid bones and muscles. "It's okay now, I got you."

♡ "No..." you mewl, slightly pushing away from your captor. Every inch of your being wants to throw yourself into their warmth, but your clouded, unfocused mind knows better. You push away from them harder, losing your balance and threatening to collapse on your side, but they catch you. "No, I've gotten so far! I left you behind for good!"

♡ "And you got sick and injured while doing it; I'm so proud of you," they mumble sarcastically as they pull you into their arms, lifting you off the ground. You hate how soft they are, how well you can rest your aching head on their broad shoulder. You desire their touch all over you just so you can feel their warmth equally everywhere. "I don't need you... don't want you," you mutter as you sling your arms sleepily around their neck.

♡ "Yes, well, you need a bath and want some of your medicine, I'm sure," your captor mumbles, their steps so light as they carried you through the woods you had run through just yesterday. You know they lied about the distance when it took them forever to get back to the gruesome place they called home. You even doze off as they rub your back, nuzzling your face into their body and making them chuckle.

♡ "I hate you," you whisper as you stay still in the bathtub, letting them wash off all the dirt and blood from your body. The hot water feels outrageously good, and everything smells wonderfully like your favorite soap. They knead all the sore spots on your body, and before they started washing you, they made sure you drank almost an entire bottle of water and ate a chocolate bar from your favorite brand. You never want to get out of the bath again, but although their hands linger uncomfortably on your body for a while, soon your captor pulls the plug, and you whine as the bathwater disappears.

♡ Your captor sighs as they look down at your battered and limb body, your eyes hooded with exhaustion. You still feel sick to your stomach, but with the water gone, a chill rakes over your skin, making you shiver. Before you can try to move yourself, you are wrapped into a soft towel and lifted out of the bath and onto the bed instead. Your captor puts a warm hoodie over your head before letting you fall into the plush around you, and you sigh contentedly. The moment you lay down on the soft mattress, all your resistance and plans to leave are pushed far, far out of your mind. All you want is to bundle up in a blanket and sleep away the sickness that had overcome you.

♡ Complaining when your kidnapper does nothing to help you bury yourself in pillows and blankets, you grumble when you feel their weight dip the mattress to your left. The grating sound of the drawer beside the bed being opened leaves you exasperated and you try to roll away from your captor. "Come on," your captor coos gently, catching your arm that you thought you did a good job hiding from him. Not good enough, apparently, as you feel your sleeve being pulled up, the cold air biting against your skin.

♡ "I'm tired," you complain, and they hum in acknowledgment. "You can sleep in just a second. I just want you to feel better soon and be on your best behavior tomorrow. I hate seeing you so sick and having to pick you up from a random ditch in the forest." With your mess of a mind, you find no fault in what they are saying. You don't want to be sick either anymore; you want to feel light and happy again, able to run and make plans to escape this awful person you hate so much.

♡ "Now give me your arm; stop twisting it," they order, and you comply, pouting. You know you'll feel better soon and can finally fight them again. But not right now. You need to get better first. Some medicine, and surely, you'd be up and running in no time.

♡ "Here we go, and I didn't overdo it this time."

[redwinewhiteroses]

Messages from the Universe

what you need to know right now

I'm using Wisdom of the Oracle cards for this reading and no tarot cards. The msgs can be about anything from general life msgs, love and romance or career/work related. I'll be including the msgs that are in the guidebook, as well as other msgs based on what I pick up intuitively.

Image 1

Cards I got : Blessed

I think the Universe has great news for you. If you haven't already felt like some major blessing is coming, let me tell you it is. This could be a great opportunity for you or something that makes you realise how blessed and privileged you actually are. You are abundantly blessed by the universe. Look around and you might see something that will make you feel like you're the happiest person alive. You are rewarded for your good heart and intentions, this blessing isn't coming your way because you've put a lot of work in to it, but because of who you are as a human being. This is a gift from the Universe. You don't need to earn it. This is for you! It can be as simple as some loving comforting gesture from someone in a rough time or a warm hug from the Universe. Know that you are abundantly blessed and beautiful in the eyes of the Universe, worthy of nothing but the best.

If you've been worrying about something lately, there is a message that everything will fall into place naturally as if you received the help of the Divine.

If you were thinking of a partnership while choosing the image, there's a message that there is deep intimacy in this sacred relationship that is blessed by the divine. The connection with your person is meant to help you see beauty all around you and to grow abundantly as an individual and experience love and joy.

If you were thinking of receiving a career or life message, know that all obstacles are going to dissolve and your way is made. You have good fortune coming your way.

And I'm thinking you already have the blessings of the Universe surrounding you. You could receive a gift from a loved one or something that will fill your heart with gratitude.

You are blessed beyond measure.

Image 2

Cards I got : Regeneration, Come to the edge reversed

If you've been contemplating taking a leap of faith but fearing it, please don't! If you lost something or you failed at something, know that better opportunities are coming your way. You are given a chance to fix what you did wrong and to fix what went wrong. There's a message to focus on the future, not look back, do not cry over spilled milk and just believe in what's to come. It will be good for you than what you lost or didn't get. You are a better version of yourself than you were before and you have learnt many lessons from that failure.

You might have failed at something in the past and you are second guessing your capabilities, but don't fear about anything. You have what it takes to overcome and succeed. The past is in the past. Don't let a self-limiting belief that arose because of the past hold you from living and winning the now. Be courageous. Be bold. Fear is just an illusion and self doubt is just a coward voice in your head. You are asked to be confident.

If you are worried about the past repeating itself, NO, it won't. You have the power to conquer all your fears.

If you were thinking of a relationship, do not fear about what went wrong or what could possibly go wrong, whatever it is, you have the power in you to create a beautiful situation for yourself.

If you've been contemplating about life and career, and you are wondering if you'll get another chance, an opportunity you've been looking for all this time, it is there right there infront of you, don't let fear discourage you.

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

Image 3

Cards I got : Chop wood, Time to go

So you are asked to be more present. If your focus has been somewhere away from mundane life, call it back lol. Be in the here and now. Wonderful things are happening here and you are so lost in something else smh.

Focus on the little things that make you happy. What's your favourite song rn? What is a food that you want to try today? Go all out in living your life.

Right now you are called to detach yourself from the past and to root yourself in the present moment because there's a lot happening here, interesting stuff and not so interesting stuff, but this is your present and this is a gift.

I see you looking to the past, be it a relationship or some situation that's on your mind all the time. You are called to move forward and to learn the lesson of it and to experience your now.

For some of you, I'm thinking you are not doing what you should be doing on a daily basis, whatever it is and you should take responsibility and do it.

And for some of you, this is about an ending that you need to walk away from, and while doing that you are asked to be more mindful, maybe do meditation and just focus your attention on the things that really matter.

You are completing something and moving towards a new phase, a new chapter and I think right now it could even be the slow life, appreciating the mundane and embracing your daily life.

(This group's messages, I felt like were all over the place, so take what resonates. I have a feeling that many will choose this group😅)

Dividers by : @strangergraphics @aquazero

[cinnamokittykat]

My head canons for Sol Brugsmansia x chubby fem! reader!

TW for: Sexual content, Dubcon(?), stalker/yandere tendencies, mentioned violence, mentions of body issues, Somnophilia

SFW (TW for some mild violence)

- This man needs a girl who can be his pillow, so of course he sets his sights on you immediately

- He's the biggest slut for headpats, you could honestly bribe him to do so much by promising to pet him a bit

- Is there an article of clothing you want that isn't available in your size? He'll learn how to tailor them to your size, even if it's a bit shoddy at first

- If anyone were to ever insinuate that you aren't enough because of your weight... They might not be dead but they'll likely be pretty bloody

- He gets so sad when you feel bad about yourself, he'd just grab you and not let you go until you feel better

- He bites affectionately. He bites to get your attention. Sometimes he bites just to bite.

- When he gets jealous, he doesn't lash out at you at all. The worst he may do towards you is cry/beg. The only people he'd hurt in the situation are the people he perceives as a threat. Not you, his perfect girl.

NSFW

- He also bites to mark his territory while making out and having sex.

- He LOVES your curves, especially your boobs. He loves grabbing them and squishing them and kneading them and he loves when you wear a low cut shirt and lean forward in it

- He loves your ass more because he doesn't have to worry about you catching him staring as easily

- So, so so whiny and vocal. Especially when he's been staring at your body all day and has spent the majority of it hard in some capacity.

- Loves eating pussy so much. He'll pin you down and bury his face in between your thick thighs until you're teared up from overstimulation and he has a wet spot in his pants from cumming. If you two aren't together yet, he'll sneak into your room at night and eat you out in your sleep.

- Ideally if he had to die, he'd choose to do it by having your legs wrapped around his head until he suffocates

- Would make you cum from oral a number of times then have the best time sticking his tongue in your pussy to clean you up

- He really prefers being submissive or on equal footing with you in the bedroom. Ideally he's being used as your toy to get off, laying on his back to be ridden to completion, letting you control the situation.

- But when he does feel possessive. Angry. Jealous. It feels like a different person takes hold of him. He'll embarrass, threaten, or even eliminate whatever threat he sees to you two being together forever. After they've been taken care of how he sees fit, he'd find you and pound you until walking isn't a possibility the next day. He'll fuck you until your ass is red and your neck is a patchy-reddish purple and cum drips from your hole. If he somehow ever got your permission, he'd do it in front of the other person too. Make them see what they'd be up against if they even tried.

- And if you were being watched during, he's going into overdrive with the theatrics. It doesn't matter if he has to edge himself, overstimulate himself, or power through muscle pain and lack of breath, he'll do it so show how great of a partner he is.

- The added benefit to this for him is that you'll have no choice but to be taken care of by him at least for a short period of time. He'd happily feed you and bathe you and massage you as much as you need.

[paracosmic-murdock]

Could you do Benedict Bridgerton with wife reader?

Ben had always been the second son who had all the fun until the day he fell in love. From that moment, only her on his mind. Never once does his gaze befall someone else. He thinks all is well with her and their children. Until one day, she faints and reveals that she had fallen ill. (it wasn't terminal illness but her health was declining or she could survive from it. You choose) He didn't know what to think or do in this situation. Angst but ending with fluff. You decide how it goes. Add anything you want to. Thanks!! :))

hiii, thanks for your request <3 it's the first time i've gotten one and i'm excited and hoping not to disappoint!!! anyways, here it goes:

if there is no you

pairing: benedict bridgerton x wife!reader

summary: after many years of loving and having each other, you and benedict had a beautiful family and a perfect little life together until you fell ill one day and it all threatened to end. while you lied on your bed all day and night, fearing that you might leave your husband and children alone, benedict died a little each second that approached him further to losing you.

tags/warnings: mentions of chronic illness, not character death, grief, fear, angst, happy ending, song: soon you'll get better (taylor swift)

word count: 2.2K

❁ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

Benedict had believed his life as a bachelor would never end. He thought he would enjoy his singleness forever, that he could just sleep around, drink to unconsciousness, and party to death; but no.

The day he met you at Lady Danbury's home for a dinner party, he got immediately obsessed with you… utterly enamored.

You had a passionate and scandalous love story, one of those you can only see in romance novels. You even paved the way for the rest of Benedict's siblings to bring home scandals in the future: Daphne, Anthony, Eloise, Colin… all of them followed the footsteps of the second Bridgerton son, who settled down first than his siblings against all odds.

Your grandfather knew Lady Danbury through her late husband, and they had become great friends. As you had failed to find a husband to your liking, he and your parents sent you to Mayfair to live with Lady Danbury for the social season and help you find a husband. Which, ultimately, worked.

You were soon engaged to a fine gentleman. He was endearing and kind, and would surely make an amazing husband and father to many children with you. He could provide for you and give you a safe life. Lady Danbury had picked him just for you, and you were comfortable with that decision. That, until you met Benedict.

He had successfully managed to skip most social events, and when he didn't, you never actually saw each other. However, Lady Danbury decided to invite the Bridgertons to your engagement dinner, where you two formally met and changed the course of your lives completely.

Defying social étiquettes, Benedict decided to court you while you were engaged. You masked the yearning to see him with that socially imposed civility of a lady who has to receive whatever gentleman that approaches her.

He wrote you letters and snuck around to see you at night until before your wedding, during which he firmly spoke when it was time to speak or forever hold one's peace.

Under both compassionate and outraged looks, the two of you left that church and began your own love story. After the birth of your second child, the Ton forgot about the scandal behind your marriage and you lived happily ever after until you didn't.

It was one enjoyable afternoon at Aubrey Hall. The entire family was there: Anthony, Kate, Daphne, Simon, Colin, Penelope, Francesca, John, Gregory, Hyacinth, Lady Bridgerton, Lady Danbury, Lord Anderson, and, of course, the latest generation of Bridgerton children.

You and Benedict had made enough Bridgertons yourselves: Benedict II, the eldest, was seven years old, Benjamin, six, Blair, four, Blanche, two, and Béa, five months old.

Lady Bridgerton was ecstatic with the birth of your youngest. She had her granddaughter in her arms while her children and their spouses played pall mall in the broad backyard.

“Are you feeling well?” Eloise asked, noticing how you seemed fatigued.

You nodded, not wanting to miss a moment of the game. “Certainly, El.”

It was getting far too difficult to catch your breath, but you were sure you could control it, at least this once. You couldn't.

The next thing you saw was your husband beside you, holding your hand in his, near his mouth. You could feel the warmth of his words against the back of your hand, and almost hear the prayers falling from his lips.

He was never a man of God, but he considered changing that at the sight of you lying unconscious on that bed for several hours.

“Ben?”

Benedict let out all the breath in his lungs and rushed to hug you. “Thank God!”

You felt weak and dizzy, but didn't want to worry him anymore, so you reciprocated the embrace despite the headache it was causing.

“What happened?”

“We were playing with the family,” he answered. “And you fainted suddenly. We took you to the room and the doctor came to see you. He said that, taking your underlying symptoms into account, it might take hours for you to wake.”

“Oh…” you muttered, trying to ignore the reproach behind his words. “How long has it been?”

“Around five hours,” He sighed. “Do you want something, my love? Water, food?”

You pursed your lips. “Uh, water should be fine. Thank you.”

Your husband nodded and poured water in a glass. Once he sat beside you again, he gave you the water himself, making you smile.

“Where are the children?”

“They are having dinner with Mother.”

“How are they?”

“They are fine,” he assured you, but you knew he was lying. “Do not worry about the children, our family is taking good care of them. Mother is with Béa, so we mustn't worry about her too much.”

You pouted. “She must be hungry, Benedict. She certainly needs me! Bring her to me, please.”

“Are you sure? The doctor said you must rest.”

“Please, Ben.”

He couldn't say no. He could never say no to you.

Benedict was in front of you, sitting expectantly, awaiting your answer.

He wouldn't blame you for anything, for the last thing he should do right this moment is put you under stress. The doctor said that stress or worry would only make it worse, and Benedict wouldn't risk it. You, however, had to tell him the truth.

“They began two months before Béa's birth,” you finally spoke. “It was sporadic at the start, just pain in my chest every now and then, difficulty breathing sometimes, until it turned into something bigger. My heart starts pounding really, really fast, and sometimes I faint like I did yesterday. But now, I-”

Your husband's face was the most afflicted you have ever seen, and you felt guilty for hiding it from him for so long.

“I'm sorry,” A soft whimper left your mouth. “I know I should have told you months ago, but I could not bear the thought of upsetting you over something I was able to control.”

“Is that why you have chosen to carry the weight of your illness all by yourself? To not upset me?”

You nodded. “We are happy. We deserve to be without anything ruining it.”

“The children and I, we are happy. You cannot possibly be happy under the burden of that secret of yours.”

“I never intended for this to happen, I figured it would go away one day, it was never this complicated-”

“I know that, my dear,” Benedict sighed. “I am right here with you, alright? Always.”

You held back the tears. “How did you find out?”

“Dahlia got scared and told me the truth,” he answered, mentioning the involvement of your lady maid. “She said you have been in denial for months, and that this was not the first time this has happened. Your health has been decaying for a long time, but you wouldn't accept it.”

“Ben, I… I am scared.”

“I know,” He looked up at the ceiling and then at you. “Do not be. Everything will be alright.”

He kissed your hand and gave you a sweet smile.

“Thank you for being here.”

“I will always be here for you, Y/N. I love you more than anything,” Benedict replied, swallowing his own feelings. “What if you make some space for me there beside you? Can you do that for me?”

You let out a soft laugh, remembering for a quick second how much you missed your husband's jokes and that whimsical attachment you adored, oh, so much. He always made you feel like the new girl in London who caught his attention and made him do all sorts of follies. You were that girl the day you met, the day you gave birth to your third child, and right this moment. He loved you, and it was so maddening that his delusions passed as hope.

Benedict wanted you to get better, but the doctor said you probably wouldn't.

He thought you were full of life, even when your voice was hoarse and your skin a little too cold for an alive person. He thought you would be fine even when you said goodbye to him every night as if it was gonna be the last time.

What was he supposed to do? He had to hold onto hope. You had to live and see your children grow up. You had to see them marry and carry your grandchildren.

You were merely eight and twenty. You couldn't die and leave him.

Benedict hated it when he realized that he was making it all about him, but how else was he supposed to decipher how he felt about the possibility of losing you? He didn't see himself capable of dealing with your loss and keep going. He couldn't fathom the idea of raising the kids by himself. He didn't know how he would look at little Blanche, who looked exactly like you, and not break down.

“How are you today?”

You smiled weakly. “I am doing amazing, my dear.”

“Is that so?” he inquired with a happy smirk. You nodded. “It is great to hear that.”

“How are you?”

“I am quite content.” Benedict assured you, though the bags under his eyes and the loss of fullness of his cheeks gave away his dishonesty.

But you pretended like you believed him. “How are the children?”

“Quite well. Benedict and Benjamin have started their fencing lessons yesterday,” he said. “Blair has proven herself to be good at reading, quite like you, Blanche has been misbehaving lately but showing her artsy skills. As for Béa, she is growing more each day that passes. She gets along very well with Mother, as you know, so it is alright. They miss you. I have been trying to keep their little minds occupied, but they do.”

You didn't notice when you started crying.

“I wish to see my children grow up. I want to grow old with you, Ben… I'm scared.”

This time, he didn't have the strength to tell you not to be. This time, he cried with you.

“Me as well,” He kissed your forehead and attempted to get up. “Perhaps I should-”

“Please, stay.”

“I do not want you to see me like this.”

You pursed your lips. “Who else if not me?”

Benedict cried more and you felt guilty for being the reason of your husband's was misery.

“I wish to never lose you,” he whispered. “Because… What am I supposed to do if there is no you?”

“I will always be with you.”

“I know.”

You smiled at him, trying to comfort him; but you couldn't.

Nothing you did would ease the pain, nothing other than getting well.

“You cannot lose hope.”

“It is quite easy for you to say, El,” Benedict sighed, looking at the moon. “It is not the love of your life lying on her deathbed. It is not you who will be left alone with five children to tend to. It has been months, and I have no clue what to do. I only want her to be well.”

“I know I am not losing the love of my life, but she is my sister,” Eloise replied. “I hope not to burden you with my pain, too. I cannot bear the thought of losing such a loving soul. She has always inspired me to see the world as she does. And life. Even now, on the verge of leaving, she has managed to show goodness.”

He let out an afflicted sigh. “What did she say to you, Sister?”

She took his hand in hers. “She said that she would leave in peace if she had to. That she trusts us to take care of you and the children. And that she is happy with the life she has lived. She said that she has lived a life full of love, and that is what makes life worth living: the love we give and receive. You have done right by her. You have given her the life and family she always wanted.”

“I do not want to make this about me,” he said. “But I cannot help but to do so. If she leaves us, Eloise, I am leaving right behind her, I- I don't believe myself to have the strength it takes to survive in her absence.”

“You must be strong. For her and your children.”

“I don't want to be strong, I want this to be over.”

“I know, but… didn't the doctor say she was improving?”

“I do not want to have faith for nothing.”

They stayed silent on the swings of Bridgerton House until Benedict thought it was time to go back home. The sun rising announced it.

Once Benedict set foot on his home, he saw you having breakfast with your children. A wide smile spread on his face at the sight.

“Mr. Bridgerton, how dare you return home until after sunrise?” you questioned him amusedly, pointing to the empty seat on the end of the table. He was about to sit where you told him, but the children stood up from their places and ran to him before he could. You laughed. “But it is alright, for I got to surprise you.”

Benedict smiled and walked to you with your second youngest, Blanche, in his arms. “You are out of bed.”

“I am out of bed,” you confirmed with excitement, holding his face with your hand and driving him close enough for to you to peck his lips. “I love you.”

“Daddy!” Blair exclaimed. “Mama read us to sleep last night!”

“Did she?”

“Yes, Father! And Mama saw Benedict and I during our fencing lesson.” Benjamin, your second born, added.

“Mama is getting better, Father.” Benedict, the child, mentioned with a sweet grin, just like his father's.

“She is,” Benedict, the father, confirmed. “And everything will be alright.”

all things benedict bridgerton taglist: @imgondeletedis

[angerieque]

How to: fresh start.

Hi babes! Hope you're all having a great day. Now, I want to share with you tips that will help you FEEL that fresh start of the new year.

Digital cleanse. Cleanse your phone, delete unwanted pictures, screenshots, videos, documents, games, apps ESPECIALLY shopping apps. Why so? Well, let me tell you. You don't need your phone constantly buzzing with sales on stuff you already have or don't need. Those apps convince you that you need this and that when, in reality, you don't. You'll just end up wasting time and money.

Physical cleanse. You might be wondering what that is. For me, physical cleansing is simply taking a shower (could be a simple shower or an everything shower) and drinking green tea. Green tea helps with digestion, cleanses your stomach, and even boosts your brain health. You can drink whatever drink that is actually beneficial (ginger shots, lemon water, mint tea, etc).

Wardrobe. Declutter your wardrobe. You can donate some, resell some or even reuse (to clean, for example). Clothes are fabrics and fabrics are meant to have more than one use. Just get rid of clothes that you don't wear anymore or that don't fit you (size, style..)

Unsubscribe and unfollow. YouTube, tiktok, instagram.. just unfollow. You've grown out of phases, embrace that and unfollow people that resonate with the old you (who you love, but simply don't relate to anymore).

Rearrange. For me that's for my gallery, pinterest, and spotify. For my gallery, after I delete unwanted pictures, I create new folders for the ones I kept. For pinterest, I archive my old boards ('24 vision boards), create new ones, and update old vision boards. For spotify, I delete playlists I don't listen to anymore, unfollow artists and create new playlists.

Notion! I've been a notion user and lover for the past 5 years now and it's my planner, diary, journal and literally everything. Open a blank page and build it however you like, or choose a nice template and play around with it till satisfaction. Create a "reflection" section where you write about the past year and what you loved, hated, learned, etc.

Write down who you want to become. What is she doing, what does she love, what does she look like, what's her personality like, how she spends her day, what are her hobbies, what are her ambitions, etc. And may your visualization come true.

So, that's it for now! Love always, angel.

[pinkchrissysposts]

🧠📓2 WEEKS MANIFESTATION ASSIGNMENT CHALLENGE 🧠📓

Hello dear students,teacher Christina here, today I'm giving y'all an assignment and y'all MUST MUSST TAKE it seriously you'll get A+ and it will be for your future,it is also a life lessons so everyone must do do early as possible late submission of assignment is consider,but those who'll send earlier,have alot of advantages if yk,yk.

☆🎧.Choose you're topic it can anything my loves example dating your sp,free money,entering void,being rich etc.

☆🎧. Apply everything you learn all this months instead of procrastinating remember it will give you guys great opportunities.

☆🎧.Now dear students you don't have to write an whole essay because it's way easier then that,all I want y'all to do is embody the state and get that dang sp,get that free dang money,enter the void,whatever topic/state/desire you choose,you all have to MUST submit me your assignment as THAT person who have their sp,entered void etc.

Those who'll submit their assignment early they'll graduate early from University of LOA.

Here are some helpful study material😀

For my dear anxious and stress students here is an amazing exercises recommended by the most amazing manifestor @/Viper.

[jayssparemerch]

Spare Merch for Gaza + Sudan

Hello everyone! I'm running a donation drive - merch and prints in exchange for donations to Palestinan and Sudanese fundraisers. I've got a lot on offer here - too much to put in one post due to the image limit so I've split it up by the minimum donation I'm asking in exchange for each item.

There's official and fanmade merch in here, leftovers of my own limited run designs. buttons, stickers, enamel pins, standees, zines, charms, prints, figures, etc!

$5 items

$10 items

$15 items

Take a look and see if there's anything you want! This is all first come first serve so don't hesitate to donate. More information about how exactly this will work under the cut.

Donation minimums are just that - minimums. Please donate as much as you can spare.

Please donate directly to people in need and grassroots orgs. Gaza Funds will spotlight a random campaign if you have trouble choosing. E-sims for Gaza and Khartoum Kitchen are both great choices. Hopefully your dashboard has people sharing fundraisers on it, so it shouldn't be too hard to find somewhere good to send your money to!

You'll be expected to pay for shipping on your own items. I will ship both domestically within the US and internationally outside of it.

Letter-size mail [aka paper goods 5x7 or smaller] can ship for free both domestically and internationally, but they will be untracked. If you would like tracked shipping on letter-size items, please let me know and I'm happy to do so instead.

Once you've decided on an item you want, send an ask to this blog with the following information:

- The item you want - An email address where you can be contacted for followup in the event that you're the first person to claim an item - Your zipcode, or country and postal code if outside of the united states so I can estimate shipping

After I receive this information, if yours is the first claim, I will contact you at the provided email with a quote for shipping and ask you to provide a confirmation/receipt for a new donation made after the creation of this post. A screenshot is fine as long as the date is visible

Feel free to donate in whatever currency is most convenient/required for the fundraiser you're donating to, as long as it's equivalent to the required donation amount in USD

Items will be slow to ship. Sorry about that, but I work full time and I won't be able to get to the post office more than once a week or so.

REGARDING ACRYLIC CHARMS/STANDEES: These may appear cloudy in the photographs. This is because they all still have their protective film on them! They are all completely untouched and will be crystal clear once the film is removed.

Feel free to ask any questions you have that weren't answered here, and I'll reply to you/update this post as necessary

[bettsfic]

Betts. how do I stop feeling jealous of everyone and everything and just focus on myself? I'm tired of being comprised of nothing but envy.

story time:

so i was recently at Millay, which is one of the top artist residencies in the country. they have an acceptance rate of something like 3%. when i was shown my room, there was a packet of all the residents' artist bios. i sat down and read through all of them. most of them were like half a page in length, single-spaced, listing out accomplishments i could never dream of. one artist had won a guggenheim. one author had published 12 books. another author published her first book at 19 years old. these were people who were extremely well accomplished and respected in their fields.

and we all became very good friends!

and then there was me. my bio was 3 sentences listing out a couple short publications and awards and other residencies i'd done. and my honest to god first thought was, "wow, the jurors must have really liked my writing to have accepted me among all these great artists."

and my second thought was, "that's the healthiest thing i have ever thought."

i had no jealousy of their accomplishments. even though my career hadn't even begun compared to theirs, i didn't attend dinner that night with any impostor syndrome. and that confirmed for me that i had grown out of whatever place i used to be in as a person, where i was basically a raw wound wrapped in barbed wire. everything hurt me and i hurt everything in return.

jealous feelings come from an intense need of external approval, but as i've mentioned in other asks, approval and validation is a well that gets filled over time. at our introductory dinner that night, i didn't talk about my work in the hope of convincing everyone i deserved to be there, which was what i would've done a few years before. instead we all ended up talking about a TV show. the most highbrow place i've ever been in my life, and we're getting wine drunk and discussing at length a cheesy discovery channel reality series. the guggenheim winner: loves box turtles. the guy who's published 12 books: his favorite movie is Spirited Away. the girl who published a book at 19: reads One Direction fanfic. the well-lauded poet: old school tumblrina.

actually, 4 out of 7 of us read fanfic and we had some great conversations about it. sometime i'll tell you about introducing the co-director of the residency to AO3.

when you think of the most accomplished and successful writer you've ever read, remember that they are, at the very core of their being, a nerd. and if you were to eat dinner with them, you would, with enough polite inquisitiveness, be able to unlock the goofy side of them that binges Property Brothers.

so that was the big change for me, i think. i started asking a lot of questions. i stopped talking and i started listening. it seems counterintuitive that admitting to not knowing stuff shows confidence, but it does. pretending you know stuff is what looks insecure. i think for me, i put so much of myself in my work, i wanted my work to be lauded so i could feel accomplished, and feeling accomplishment would let me believe i deserved to exist. but over time, i've reframed that mentality. my work is a thing that exists beyond me and is private to those who read it. it comes from me, but it is not me. what i am is just the person i am, and my life is a series of moments i choose for myself, and i am allowed to exist.

even sending this ask shows that you've begun filling your well. it takes someone who's already come a long way to realize jealousy isn't the status quo and is a feeling to be overcome. and you can overcome it. you can reach a place where you have enough success that other people's success has nothing to do with you, and you're free to just be happy for them. and when you read work that's better than yours you feel joy at learning something new.

so put your work into the world and let it be rejected. you'll rack up a couple wins or close calls, and those will give you energy to be rejected some more. and eventually you'll be rejected so much that rejection doesn't feel like anything, and you will have won enough to realize your work has a place in the world, and that place is no bigger or smaller than anyone else's. your work is allowed to exist simply as it is, and you are allowed to exist simply as you are.

[chocoqtelle]

𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝﹕𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 ♡

you may be called to multiple piles, that's perfectly fine ! remember that not every message may resonate. take what resonates and leave the rest. tarot is not completely certain and things may change. do not use tarot as a replacement for professional advice. divider credit to @sister-lucifer

﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵ ﹒˚ ₊ ︵﹒⊹ ๑ ︵︵ ๑ ⊹﹒︵

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄

okayyyy 🤭 seems like someone's self focused right now. you're dodging these desperate mfs and focusing on your finances. you oughta give yourself more credit for that at least. choosing attention from yourself over attention from others is rough. and it's clearly paying off because you are GLOWING. if you've been getting more attention that's why. you're looking better than ever right now. you don't need anyone to take care of you... but if you want that then there's plenty of options. you don't even have to put effort in. it's all self concept. as long as you acknowledge how perfect you are and what you deserve, you'll get exactly that. you've been working hard, clearing out old patterns, all that. so why would you be shocked that things are going well/going to go well? you deserve that! you worked your ass off to get to this point and you act like you didn't sometimes. whatever help you may have got wasn't near as much as you put into yourself. reap your rewards with no shame. this is your well deserved prize.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐖𝐎

"i don't know if i want her or her" energy. you got options for just about everything. you're in that empress mode (regardless of gender dw.) you're pouring into your creative talents and you're doing great. keep expressing yourself, don't worry about what's weird! it's fun! that's what matters. you could have some annoying exes/haters and honestly just take it as an ego boost. they're obsessed with you for a reason. but isn't everyone? you don't have to worry about anyone. grabbing for scraps of stardust when you're the star is the life they chose. you, however, have an unlimited source and you should enjoy it. if you're thinking of going bigger with your creative talents/career. you definitely should. you have the talent whether you wanna admit it or not. "what if I fail?" then you can try again or move on. your life won't be over. what if you win? believe in yourself more. believe you'll make it regardless of what happens. if you're worried about money, let it go. god/the universe/spirit guides/ancestors/whatever applies will take care of it. just trust things will work and opportunities will reach you soon. you could have that perfect duality too is what I'm hearing. geek girl vibes (it's on Netflix still, I think.)

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

the body is BODYINGGGGG. if you don't know that, you must be blind. and don't start talking about some "but hip dips 😖 but tummy but-" nobody in real life cares about that. if it's your body, it's nice and loveable by default. you're like the "airport girl" phenomenon where people see the prettiest person ever at a random place then never see them again and they're just haunted by their beauty. you're probably resting right now but make sure you're not rotting. it's good to still take care of yourself. I don't know if you're insecure or not, but if you are I will personally come through the screen and yell at you (affectionately.) because you are so gorgeous. pinterest level pretty. moodboard pretty. poetry pretty. you could have people writing like "her bosoms jiggled gracefully in the wind like hanging grapes." 😭 being pretty is one thing but being kindhearted on top is just extra. sweet and pretty??? fine you win 😒 save some beauty for the rest of us. you could also be an Aphrodite devotee or benefit from reaching out to her :)

︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・︶꒦︶꒷︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶꒷꒦‧ ₊˚・