#it's why new moon was best
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How it started vs. How it's going
BONUS:
#hehehe giggle giggle#paul's face at the end LIKE SIR!!#the pack was my fave#it's why new moon was best#like my absolute favorite in the series#anyways!!#new moon#the twilight saga: new moon#newmoonedit#the twilight saga#twilightedit#cinematv#filmedit#fantasysource#fyeahmovies#dailyflicks#tuserheidi#userelio#kallypsos#userrobin#usermaria#userraffa#tuserjen#usergiu#underbetelgeuse#trueloveistreacherous#*#malina.gif#bella swan#paul lahote
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Moon 35
Moon 34 bonus | Moon 36
#chasingmoon#clangen#silkcff#dewcff#mothcff#cranecff#mintcff#NEW BABY ALERT THIS IS MY BABY DAUGHTER#lil info on minty here#trans girl and she chose her name mint at that very moment when dewdrop asked her#girly you do not wanna be here go home your family misses you WHY ARE YOU HERE IN THE CURSED LANDS#anyway hi quiver bye quiver shes coming back next moon#silk said fuck the rules my brother made HEY BABY CHILD THERES MONSTERS#Tigerripple has info hed like to share#silk is not in the mood#SOOT FUCKED UP BAD BUT WHAT ELSE IS NEW /lh#/lh i love soot theyre just not the best at... anything
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I brought in some homemade peanut butter fudge for my coworkers, today, as well as some ornaments as little holiday gifts, and everyone who saw me expressed appreciation ... it felt really nice, I won't lie. Just ... to do something small for others like this. And I've been noticing that whenever I reach out and try to help or comfort or offer something to someone else, it makes me feel a bit better.
I think sending out tree messages yesterday had a similar effect, and helping the kiddos on Thursday with building gingerbread houses and making shakers for their sing-a-long. It's hard to put into words, but it feels like I'm finally coming out of the funk I've been in, and it's because I'm choosing to be kind in spite of everything I'm going through.
#I think it's fair to say 2024 was really hard on me ... but I'm glad I'm ending it on a strong note#we still have a ways to go before the new year‚ but I feel happier than I have in a long time#and I'm going to choose to be kind and positive rather than letting myself constantly stew in bitterness#I'll be doing my best to sort out this blog before the new year comes‚ but I won't try to do more than I can realistically do#also I wanted to say thank you to you guys‚ again /gen#I haven't been the most active here but it means a lot that you're all still here#I'm very slowly allowing myself to enjoy things again and express the same passion I did in the past#so hopefully I'll seriously get back into posting about my ships and Project Moon stuff soon#I have many thoughts and opinions--as usual /lh#I also want to start replaying Linbus from the beginning ... I think it's time to take a crack at rewriting it with Sherry as a Sinner#I'm going to try and finish reading Red Chamber‚ first‚ though--because I think I want to liveblog things when I replay#just share it with you guys ... I want you to know why I love it and the characters so much--and also why I dislike certain characters#okay--this got long‚ but I do seriously feel a lot better#and the fact it's on RolEva anniversary too ... perhaps I will finally post about them again#scattered pages
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clay holmes should never be allowed to close another game of baseball again
#ALL YOU NEEDED WAS 3 OUTS!!!#AND YOU HAD 2 OF THEM!!!#stro had his best start of the season#bullpen was great#why do you take tommy out right there???#make it make sense#send clay to the moon#get him away from me#new york yankees
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Re-watching the New Moon movie and I have many Thoughts(tm), namely
Why is the cinematography is so warm toned compared to the first movie when New Moon is the most depressing book and truly the worst era of Bella’s young life: A Mystery in 2 Hours
At least Pattinson!Edward looks a little better than usual. They put him in these crisp suits. Very nice (Edit: Never mind, that awful Volturi bathrobe with the pasty-ass makeup was horrific yuck, yuck, yuck)
They just had to introduce Jacob this early on, didn’t they? And ofc Bella is much more emotive and gets all the witty dialogue with him (!!). In the books she is much more romantic and wittier with Edward as a whole. Jacob tended to bring out her immature side
“How come Jacob Black gets to give you a gift and I can’t?” “Because I have nothing to give back to you” Nice to know the screenwriter(s) still doesn’t understand the Bedward dynamic. And by nice I mean horrific
…What film version of R&J are they watching??? It’s not the ‘30s version and definitely not the ‘60s or ‘90s one. Is it the ‘70s BBC one? In the book it was the ‘60s version, which is the correct answer. Did they not get the rights? Also, also, why are the human characters much more affected by R&J than Bella and Edward????
“[Romeo] Killed his only love out of sheer stupidity” “Yeah” Oh no, no, no, no, movie, you are not going to make Bella, a close Romeo iteration, agree with Edward!!! Edward is meant to be 100% wrong by his take. Dumbass script!!!
Edward: “Eyes, look your last” 😐 Couldn’t Pattinson just inject a little bit more feeling into his line reading? Most of Edward’s objections were Romeo’s actions, not his suicide. These are the lines Edward can and should relate to.
The movie people garbing the Volturi in 18th century clothing when they are older than the Romans is just laughable
“Dating an older woman. Hot.” Okay, Emmett is 💯, no notes. Definitely erred on the side of frat boy, but you know what, it’s fun and ho boy do these movies lack it
Bella holding up her whole bloody finger in a coven of vampires 💀 Why, movie
Stewart!Bella’s chemistry with almost everyone else in the cast (that scene with Carlisle tending her wound!!!) but Pattinson!Edward confirms what I have known all along: Film and real life chemistry are very different and they shouldn’t be confused. The proof is in the celluloid.
I’m just going to call it: Stewart and Pattinson are modern subtle quirky actors playing what are essentially neo-Gothic star-crossed lover roles. They absolutely should never have been considered for these parts at all by a competent director. Absolutely not fitting at all
“You’re just not good for me.” Hmm, this is what Bella believes about herself, not Edward. I suppose Edward could have done it on purpose, but the fact that he was flabbergasted his lie worked indicates that he doesn’t. Movie just straight up portrays him as more manipulative than in the books, where he just lies baldly
Oh God the months-on-the-screen thing was terrible. This movie fails so much at portraying Bella’s depression, it hurts. It’s like visual SparkNotes
The Bella-writing-to-Alice device sucks. Not too badly, but still. We had her voiceover in the first movie without any problems but for this one, we need a justification? Also, it fuels the Bella/Alice fan dumb something awful
Really dislike the way they did Hallucination!Edward with the ghostly transparent effect. It’s corny and also…way to pass up a chance at some mystery and intrigue by just having Edward be there without any special effects (maybe keep the echoing voice). I guess they really didn’t want people confused and think he returned when he didn’t. But c’mon.
Movie Bella going off with the biker 🤮 Book Bella at her most insane would never. The only good thing about it is that it does lead to Bella having an interest in motorcycles. Efficient movie storytelling and all that.
“Bella, where the hell have you been, loca?” Wonder why this line became so meme-worthy. It’s by far not the worst (“spider monkey” is perhaps the most awful) and Lautner’s delivery was natural enough. Is it the random Spanish? It is random.
Bella is already smiling at her first scene with Jacob…this movie is just awful at selling her desolation. Meanwhile Jacob’s first thought was how awful Bella looked
The Quileute characters are well-cast and nicely played so far, and their banter is good. Emily especially is beautiful and her scar makeup was convincing. Great
Book: “He took off his shirt” Movie: He took off his ~~~~shirt 😍
Laurent’s arrival and his death should have been a much better and weightier scene than we got. God, the pacing is so bad in this movie. Jacob becomes a werewolf, Bella finds the meadow, Laurent suddenly arrives—all within a minute or so. Ugh
“As soon as you put the dog out.” Damn, why, movie? Book Alice did not begin the slurs until she was well and truly angry. But sure, let’s do some really obvious racebaiting 🙄
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jacob KNEW he was talking to Edward and not Carlisle????? Movie, wtf? And all to save up on some screen time…sigh
Bella: “I can let you go now.” What. The. Fuck. Movie????? Not only could she not let Edward go, Bella never wanted to let him go. That was and had never been her arc!!! She would have gone to Edward regardless of anything!!! I hate this, I hate this oh GOD
No, I’m not done, I need another bullet point for this BS. The whole reason why Twilight was picked up to be adapted in the first place was because Hollywood execs saw “Ooh Romeo and Juliet with vampires 🤑” written all over this one…only for the actual filmmakers to just say, “Actually her whole ~journey this movie is letting go of Edward uwu” Poor Meyer…she just had to grin and bear it until she became the producer, I suppose
*Bella and Edward having a whole-ass conversation and making out* *Felix and Demetri watching in the shadows*: “So…should we interru—” “Don’t you DARE” “Felix” 🤣 I’m sorry, but this whole “I lied I do love you” convo should have been in the bedroom scene proper; there are literal Volturi about!!! Also, also, no “Amazing. Carlisle is right”!!! No Romeo quote!!!! Fie, for shame
Dakota Fanning as Jane…Well, probably not perfection, but she is great as usual. The Volturi got done so dirty overall, though—they look and act like Vampire Diaries rejects.
THAT ELEVATOR SCENE, OH GOD. So much meme potential. Why does this series keep injecting humor and comedy where there shouldn’t be and just ditching the actual humor and comedy of the actual books?????
Again, these Volturi gives me discount Vampire Diaries. Also, that chamber is so damn small. Where is the mystique, the grandiosity?There should be a crowd of vampires around, it’s their dinnertime.
Michael Sheen is just too British for the la tua cantante, lol. He also says something else (“Forse le vostre l’uno per altro”??? The accent is just too thick). He’s way too handsy (movie, they’re regular vampires who are sharks!!) but overall I guess his creepy-genteel approach works. Again, the cringy script fucks him over, as it does everyone. The movie has him touch Edward only now and not immediately when he meets him. Oh, God.
Edward just stumbling forward to Jane’s demonstration on Bella 💀 Jane saying “Pain” and Edward just standing there instead of collapsing 💀 Stewart!Bella freaking out and begging them to stop…actually, no, there she did very well, I liked it
Edward and Felix fighting ewwww…and with that awful slow-mo. What’s with these movies and including non-canonical battle shit???? Also, Aro would not order Bella’s execution if simply because he wants to collect Edward/Alice and Bella once she turns (it’s obvious she is a shield).
Of course fucking Alice speaks up at the very last minute before Aro chomps on Bella!!! When she would have had a vision of this exact scenario!!! This movie I swear!!!
THEY ACTUALLY SHOW THE VISION OF VAMPIRE BELLA, OH GOD. AND WITH THE CORNY SLOW-MO. KILL ME
“Once Alice changes me, you can’t get rid of me.” Okay, Movie Bella is officially more interested in immortality than Edward, the exact opposite of her book counterpart. Dishonor on your cow, Rosenberg.
“Jake, I love you.” Aaaaaand it’s official, the movies are definitely Team Jacob. Fuck you, too, movie
#new moon#twilight#cristina watches#the twilight saga#it’s a special kind of trainwreck apart from the first movie#also what was with patt!edward’s makeup here ew#they ruined the volturi why#also this movie was so team jacob it wasn’t funny#billy burke once again being the best#poor meyer…i mean it could have been worse definitely#also the scoring sucked#super generic and anemic
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and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
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Loki: thor babygirl what do you want to eat Thor: hmmm. orange juice? Loki, now with sunglasses, a sun hat, and a small suitcase: alright i'll see you in a week. stay strong
#i'd say 'loki in a holiday getup' but i don't think that invokes the right idea#because when i imagine holiday getup im thinking a slightly brighter green (near inconceivably) and no to 1/3 sleeves on armour design#1 layer may also work but the sun hat is compulsory and he is going to get on a plane and go to what like some other country to find#the 'best' oranges for orange juice for thor#he will return and give it to thor and they will be normal about this#because a few days to get orange juice is normal#akin to traveling 10 minutes one way to a local grocer#they're not paying for the flight or anything so it's chill#'they could order import it' nah m8 then it's not loki getting it for thor is it#'loki could teleport' well yeah but why should he? why do you think he has a suitcase??#does he look like he uses magic for everything bc that's not the general impression#thor like 'take another layer with you' and loki is like uhm it's going to be hot outside and runs for it#loki returns from 'getting orange juice' with 34 other items a new friend and a galaxy wolf moon shirt over his clothes
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Not feeling great abt some of my creative endeavors rn
#ramblings#neg#specifically abt project: new moon#i can feel myself actively losing interest in continuing to write for it#like the main story is already out there and that's fine#but even tho i have ideas for oneshots and stuff to introduce more characters (like those redesigns for rouge and shadow i did a while ago)#it just. doesn't feel worth continuing. idk why#i guess it might be the lack of interest for my writing in general#or maybe project: new moon just. isn't that great#which is fine the point of the project was to do it for fun not to make something objectively good#but ig i'm just. not feeling it anymore? i don't feel satisfied with it like i did when i finished writing it#i still love my ocs and the redesigns i did of canon characters for it#and i'm glad i got the story i've had in my head since i was like 12 out there. even if it's very different from how i first envisioned it#but. i really just wanna put it to rest#i really don't feel like i can promise any more writing for it. not like anybody cared abt it anyway besides like 3-4 ppl + myself#idk man i wanna move on from it. i have other stuff i wanna write that i feel guilty for not doing#bc i'd said i'd write more for project: new moon and still haven't#i think i'd be happier if i let the fanfic go and just draw my ocs and my redesigns when i feel like it#without worrying abt the fic anymore#bc frankly ever since writing the epilogue my heart just didn't feel like it was in it#thinking abt it felt like a chore more than anything. so maybe it'd be for the best to just leave it as it is#that comic i said i'd write is still happening tho i still really wanna do it#but that's different from writing fanfic so#anyway. might turn the project: new moon blog into a general writing blog#if i finish the corrupted au fic i'm currently working on. idk yet we'll see#but yeah. i know i shouldn't trust how i feel past 9 pm but I've been feeling this for a while now so whatever#i think i should've seen this coming in retrospect. pretty much everything i do that isn't just art never gets much traction anyway#can't say i'm really giving up on it considering it's TECHNICALLY complete#but the way things are going feels almost exactly like the rp and ask blogs i've tried to run in the past#idk man. i gotta stop thinking abt this before the vague feelings of inadequacy spiral into something worse. goodnight
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Main phek dungi isko aur iski bairi ko kahi se behenchod
#desiblr#suffer ye suhana nahi#desi tumblr#self therapy in the tags#what am i feeling? angry#why am feeling that?#there were guests in my house who consider me secondary to my brother and it is disappointing because they used to be my favourite before#this bias is new and hence discomfitting#and in front of all the guests my brother glared at me like i was some stupid idiot for not saying “haa” to an unimportant question#i dont want to create a scene but im not someone you mistreat because you're in an off mood#how am i responding to this anger? im trying to keep quiet and focus on something else#i won't waste my enegry on this anger#how did i manage this anger? i texted best didi instantly and bitching about this with her helped me distract myself#and i saw moon boy's texts and talked with him about something unrelated#how long am i going to hold onto this anger? probably two hours
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When I was working at the sex shop I was pulling poverty wages. I loved my job but I was on food stamps and still barely getting by. When they hired the stores first male employee and he started at my pay rate after I’d been there for three years I quit.
I was initially really nervous when I saw the post for the mattress job. It listed a pay scale that I couldn’t even conceptualize and I appeared qualified. When I got an interview I was over the moon but also petrified. Reactions to my line of work often varied but most people were very embarrassed or skeptical. I worried about how I’d address it in the actual interview.
I lived far to the north of their headquarters and drove almost two hours to get there. When I finally arrived it was in the nicest thrift store clothes I could find, but I shrank inside to see a room full of older white men in nice suits waiting to be interviewed for the same job.
Why did I bother? I was decades younger than anyone else in the room, shabbily dressed, and I suspected I was the only afab person in the entire building. I stewed in my insecurities until I was called in.
The second I met my interviewer I was instantly put at ease. The man had the energy of a therapy dog, he was abound with positive, good natured energy. He was also incredibly beautiful. I grinned back at his welcoming smile as we said our pleasantries. But still. This very beautiful polished man seemed very innocent. How would the sex shop question go?
“I see here you worked at STORE?”
“Yes,” I said hesitantly.
“And that was sales? Or you just rang people up.”
“No, it was sales. I’d help people find products, we were encouraged to upsell, there was sales spiffs, and most importantly we educated customers on products to help them find what they liked best.”
He grinned approvingly and asked, “Can you give me an example of a time you successfully upsold a customer?”
I paused, wringing my hands before I asked, “How vague would you like me to be…?”
“Not at all!” He assured me. “Go for it!”
“Well. A man came in looking for something to make his fingers vibrate so when he was touching his wife it would enhance that sensation. We had cheap $10 cockrings that I showed him first. But we had a rechargeable waterproof one made of nicer material, and after I showed him a demo he bought that one.”
“How much was that one?”
“$110”
“Wow! You had an upsell of 100% from what he came in looking for! That’s incredible!”
He was so truly genuinely stoked and not at all embarrassed that for the first time I saw a tiny glimmer of a future where I didn’t have ramen and peanut butter tiding me over between paychecks.
He asked me to wait then came back to tell me he liked me so much that he wanted to send me right into another interview, if that was okay. He didn’t want me to have to drive back later, it was terribly considerate and exciting. I beamed and told him it would be lovely.
I then had the second worst interview I’ve ever had. The worst goes to the time I applied to be a store manager for a pet food place years later. The district and store manager interviewing me passed notes and texted while I was speaking. When the district manager called to inform me I didn’t get the job I told him I’d never have accepted anyway because I’d never had such a disrespectful interview.
The new man sitting behind the desk radiated an aura of a brick wall. As someone with anxiety I’m highly keyed into the emotional states of people I’m talking to. To receive no feedback at all was my personal hell. After a perfunctory greeting he asked me with no inflection to sell him a pen.
I gathered the shreds of my courage and attempted the Herculean task he’d set me. Through my whole improvised spiel he resisted all attempts at engaging him, regarding me with a cold apathy as I touted the benefits of my fictitious pen.
Halfway through I broke into a cold sweat. My smile didn’t waver but it grew strained as I projected friendliness and warmth into the black hole of his heart. My thoughts scattered and my sales pitch grew redundant in the face of his nothingness. I finally concluded with a hard close and he simply nodded.
He glanced at my resume and commented, “You didn’t ask me to touch or hold it. Though I suppose I can understand from your previous line of work why you wouldn’t.” I shriveled and died inside knowing that I encouraged people to touch dildos all day long and had been too frazzled to offer him the pen.
He bid me a cool farewell. I made it to my car before I started sobbing. I had never been so rattled. I couldn’t understand what I’d done to make him so unfriendly or if my threadbare clothes were what had made him treat me like dirt. I drove an hour and a half to get home, weeping intermittently.
I was therefore taken by complete surprise to receive a call the next day inviting me on board for their five week training program. The first man who’d interviewed me gushed on the phone about how the second guy had loved me and that I was going to be fantastic.
I was in shock. When I showed up to training the second interviewer was charming my new classmates, beaming and laughing. He was an utterly different person. To my dismay I learned he was the trainer for my district and would be my point of contact if I made it through training.
He joked with me later that his interview facade was just a tactic to see how people held up under pressure and I filed him into a category of my deepest enmity. I never forgave him for how small he made me feel that day, but I never showed him the depths of my fury.
I aced every test and went on to be valedictorian of the eight people who had survived the rigorous training process to earn a sales position. When I got my first paycheck I bought myself new clothes, the first non-thrifted things I’d owned in years.
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oh jeez. so much broken glass. ill get the vacuum
bonus facts about this piece under the cut
ANYA: I gave her the nighttime screen because shes associated primarily with it. but in addition to that, I chose the nightscreen for her death being the brightest thing for her in the darkest time (why the moon is on hery) she takes power away from jimmy by making that choice. If you look in her eyes, you will see a bottle of pills. yeah. you get it. The glass shatter also represents her death
SWANSEA: first of all, I've grown up drawing nothing but twinks and furries. drawing swansea was the most fun ive ever had drawing something completely new. fat old man supremacy. okay, but i chose the sunset screen for swansea as he is a fading light. still bright, sticking around, but "on his way out." i added some pink to the water reflection to represent Daisuke and his influence on Swansea. Also there is a gun in his eyes. and the bullet hole glass. It's chaotic due to the nature of the wound (thanks jimbus) and for the fact i couldn't figure out how to do two bullet wounds.
DAISUKE (🎉): i picked the daylight screen for daisuke because of his bright personality. the clouds represent his doubt in being on the tulpar, but insistence on making the most of it. he has a slit on his brow and i hand it to you to decide which you like more. Either a scar from skateboarding that he tells people is from getting into a fight, or alternatively just something he does to be cool. he has an axe highlight in his eyes, in addition to the glass shatter being that of an axe hitting glass. chaotic, messy, but ensuring a mercy kill. thats why it's not clean at all.
Jimmy and Curly: Originally, jimmy was facing the viewer, and curly was also looking to the viewer. after an artistic fit of mania, i completely restructured him to turn his back on both the tulpar crew and the viewer. he looks to the viewer instead of curly, because he wants to be seen. even if he cannot face his actions (or us, the player.) I decided to put him in the blood ocean in curly's nightmares. jimmy displaces himself from a place of friendship to one belonging in nightmares. specifically for his treatment of curly. he invades curly's greatest fears as an unseen horror. i also realized curly would be looking to jimmy, as he never looks away from him in the game. gunshot glass shatter for jimmy too. its especially pretty because it was the best thing his ass could have done (i just thought it looked cool. no symbolism there)
stupid fun facts, to get references for jimmy i used vrchat.
bonus these as icons/wallpapers. use em with credit
#roadstostray#my art#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke#anya mouthwashing#anya#swansea mouthwashing#swansea#jimmy mouthwashing#jimmy#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#digital art#digital painting#wrong organ#please dear fucking hell dont let this die i spent literally a week on this
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god im so fucking pathetic like at times i will literally be violently sobbing to the point of throwing up when i see the moon because it reminds me of my ex this is actually so pathetic
#god i hate missing them so much bc it makes me so miserable they made me so happy and i just ended it. why am i like this#dont even know if they use the same name anymore or if theyre still around. Maybe they have someone else thats better for them#but god it makes me so sad that we wont go to america together like we planned. i am so sorry.#i am so sorry nic i hope you found someone else to see those new years fireworks with#and if you ever see this know that i wish you the best in whatever you do and i still remember you when i look at the moon#gosh so sorry for this i should just shut up
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the honorary WAG - cl16
summary: yn has always been known as 'the honorary wag', since she's kika's best friend and adored by all the other wags, but what happens when the girls want her to become an official wag? a bet to get her and charles together before kika and pierre's wedding sounds like a plan.
word count: 6.9k + social media posts
folkie radio: i saw that video of alex and charles dancing at a wedding and i felt like i NEEDED to write something that involved charles and weddings, this was the result ! i really hope you like it (if you do please leave a reblog)
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
liked by charles_leclerc, yourinstagram and 2,037,465 others
pierregasly Last night I proposed to the love of my life and she said yes. @/francisca.cgomes I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, I love you ❤️
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username1 OMFG
username2 NO WAAAAYYYYYYY
lilymhe CRYING RIGHT NOW 😭😭🥺💗
↳ username1 AHHH THE WAGS NEED TO BE BRIDESMAIDS
alex_albon Amazing news ❤️ ♥︎ by author
charles_leclerc Wow I can’t believe my childhood best friend is getting married, you both deserve all the happiness in the world and I’m so happy for you ❤️ ♥︎ by author
↳ username2 CRYING AGAIN
↳ username3 he needs to be the best man idc
username3 this wedding is going to be out of this world
francisca.cgomes IM STILL OVER THE MOON. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ♥︎ by author
↳ username5 KIKA IS GOING TO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRIDE EVER
landonorris YOO I CANT WAIT FOR THIS PARTY ♥︎ by author, francisca.cgomes, yourinstagram, lewishamilton, iamrebeccad, oscarpiastri
↳ username1 LANDOOOO PLEASE
↳ username2 and i can’t wait to see him absolutely wasted
yourinstagram MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED 🥹🥹🥹🥹 IM CRYING AGAIN ♥︎ by author, francisca.cgomes
↳ username3 yn and kika are the it girls
↳ username4 she’s probably going to be the maid of honor im crying over people who don’t know me
liked by francisca.cgomes, lilyzneimer and 65,826 others
yourinstagram MY BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS GETTING MARRIED 🥺 im so happy for you both @/francisca.cgomes @/pierregasly (even if that means that you finally stole her from me) let the wedding planning begin 🕺
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username1 congrats kika and pierre !!
username2 it girls ❤️🔥
carmenmmundt This wedding will be the best thing ever ♥︎ by author, francisca.cgomes, lilyzneimer, lilymhe, iamrebeccad
↳ lilymhe I KNOW
↳ username3 i love that yn is not a wag but she’s loved among the wags anyway
username4 oh to be a guest at this wedding
landonorris Can I be a bridesmaid too?
↳ pierregasly No
↳ francisca.cgomes No
↳ username1 HEEEELP poor little lando norris 😭
francisca.cgomes I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SISSY 🥺 you’ll always be my wifey even if i’m married to someone else ♥︎ by author
↳ pierregasly That hurt
↳ yourinstagram OOPS
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gasly - gomes wedding 💍💍 groupchat
the bridesmaids 👯♀️ groupchat
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INSTAGRAM
liked by username1, username2 and 54,837 others
womenofthepaddock Kika Gomes (soon to be Mrs. Gasly), Carmen Montero (Spain’s national treasure) and YN (the honorary WAG) have arrived to the Paddock #SpainGP
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username1 SLAYYY
username2 they’re all so stunning omg
username3 oh to be one of them
username4 i love how yn is really the honorary wag
↳ username1 she should just date someone from the grid atp ♥︎ by lilyzneimer, carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, iamrebeccad
↳ username2 ALL THE WAGS LIKING THIS COMMENT 😭
username5 i NEED yn’s outfit
username6 get yourself a bestfriend like kika gomes who takes you to formula one races
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📍BARCELONA, SPAIN.
Every time you agreed to join Kika for her boyfriend's (and now, fiancé) races, the same question came to your mind: "Why is the paddock so confusing?"
You were currently trying to make your way back to Alpine hospitality, where you're supposed to watch the race from, but you kept getting lost. The maze of motorhomes, garages, and bustling activity was overwhelming. The constant hum of mechanics working, team members rushing around, and fans hoping for a glimpse of their favorite driver made it all more chaotic.
"YN, hey!" you heard a voice call out for you, turning around, you saw Rebecca and Carlos walking your way.
"Hey guys," you greeted them with a small hug once they approached you.
"Got lost again?" Carlos asked, and you remembered the time he found you in the same situation a couple of years ago.
"Yeah, this place is like a labyrinth. I have no idea how you guys navigate it so easily."
"Years of practice," Carlos chuckled, "Come on, We'll walk you to Alpine. It's not too far from here."
"Wait," Rebecca said before you could even start walking, "Why don't you come to Ferrari with us a bit, I'm sure Kika and Pierre won't mind."
Your eyebrows immediately raised at Rebecca's suggestion, noticing the teasing smirk on her face. She wanted to carry on with her (and the girl's) plan of making you like Charles.
Charles Leclerc, loved by millions, but you weren't quite one of them.
It's not that you actively disliked him, but there was something about him that didn't sit right with you.
Maybe it was the fact that every single time you've interacted with him ever since you started joining Kika for F1 stuff, he was somehow rude to you.
The last thing you wanted was to have an awkward interaction with him at the Ferrari garage, but you knew Rebecca wouldn't let you go that easily.
"Okay, fine," you sighed, "I'll come with you guys.
"Great! Let's go then." Rebecca's face lit up with a smile.
The three of you walked towards the Ferrari garage, the race wasn't starting for another few hours so you knew you were inevitably running into Charles once you got there.
"This is the perfect opportunity to clear the air between you and Charles," Rebecca elbowed you, almost making you roll your eyes, "Who knows? Maybe you have more in common that you realize."
"You and Charles don't like each other?" Carlos asked you, reaching out to hold his girlfriend's hand.
"Stop, It's not like that," you said, almost throwing your head back in frustration, "Every time we've interacted, he's been... dismissive. Rude, even. I don't know if it's just me or if he's like that with everyone."
"Charles can be a bit intense sometimes, especially on race weekends," Carlos pointed out, "But he's a good guy. Maybe you two just got off on the wrong foot."
"Maybe," you muttered, not entirely convinced.
You eventually reached the Ferrari garage, Rebecca and Carlos led the way, weaving through the throngs of people with ease. You tried to keep up, feeling a bit like a fish out of water in the sea of red uniforms.
You spotted Charles almost immediately, deep in conversation with one of his engineers and not even noticing that the three of you entered the room.
"Charles, hey!" Rebecca called out for him, you really admired her determination on the matter.
"Hey guys," Charles approached you, and you couldn't help but get a good look at him.
He might not be your favorite on the grid, but you couldn't deny that he was really handsome.
"You remember YN, right?" Rebecca asked with a hint of mischief in her eyes.
"Of course," Charles replied, a small smirk playing on his lips, "You're going to be Kika's maid of honor, right?"
"That's right," you nodded, a bit surprised he remembered.
Rebecca and Carlos exchanged a knowing glance before Carlos spoke up, "We need to go check on something. You two, catch up."
You shot them a look of disbelief, but they were already walking away, leaving you and Charles alone.
"So, what have you been up to?" Charles asked, leaning casually against the wall. "It's been a while since I've seen you around."
"Yeah, I haven't really been able to come to any races, I'm moving to Monaco, so that has been keeping me busy," you said, trying to keep the conversation light.
"Really? Which area?" he asked, a hint of genuine curiosity in his voice.
You told him the name of the neighborhood, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "No way. I live there too. Are you the one who's been making all those moving noises two houses away from mine?"
"I fear that would be me," you laughed, feeling some of the awkwardness melt away, "I didn't know you lived there."
"Small world, huh?" he chuckled, and for the first time, you saw a glimpse of the Charles that everyone else seemed to adore.
"Yeah, it is," you agreed, still a bit cautious but warming up to him. "Guess we'll be seeing more of each other."
"Looks like it," he said with a smile, "I mean, at least you'll have someone you can ask for a cup of milk when you run out."
As you continued to chat with Charles, you found yourself genuinely enjoying the conversation. It was a stark contrast to your previous encounters with him, and it made you question your initial judgment. His smile was warm, his laugh infectious, and the more you talked, the more you realized how much you had in common.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Rebecca and Carlos across the garage, watching the two of you with satisfied smiles and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at them. You were already expecting the girls groupchat to explode with messages about you and Charles.
"Looks like your plan is working," Carlos said to Rebecca, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"Told you it would," Rebecca grinned, "The rest of the girls and I even made a bet."
"A bet?" Carlos raised an eyebrow, intrigued.
"Yep," Rebecca confirmed, a playful glint in her eyes. "We bet on getting them together before Pierre and Kika's wedding. We all agree they'd make a great match."
"You and your schemes, amor," Carlos chuckled, shaking his head, "But I have to admit, you might be onto something."
Rebecca leaned her head on Carlos's shoulder, watching you and Charles laugh together. "Trust me, Carlos. Sometimes people just need a little nudge in the right direction."
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INSTAGTAM
liked by francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc and 70,002 others
yourinstagram back on the f1 gig and reunited with my girls 🤍 the last slide shows how much the soon to be married couple loves each other
tagged: francisca.cgomes, pierregasly, lilyzneimer, lilymhe, carmenmmundt and iamrebeccad
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username1 SLAYYY
username2 the honorary WAG for real
carmenmmundt I missed you so much 🫶 ♥︎ by author
↳ yourinstagram same here 🥲
f1gossip We love the WAGS (and yn) being besties
↳ username1 they need a masterplan to make yn a wag ♥︎ by iamrebeccad, lilyzneimer, francisca.cgomes
pierregasly My fiancée loves me 🥰
↳ francisca.cgomes more like tolerates
↳ yourinstagram she’ll always love me more
lilymhe bridesmaids gang 👯♀️ ♥︎ by author
↳ landonorris Am I still not allowed in the gc?
↳ francisca.cgomes exactly
↳ username2 HEEEEEELP
charles_leclerc Lovely to catch up. See you around in Monaco 😉 ♥︎ by author
↳ yourinstagram likewise 😊
↳ username1 HELLOOOO???
↳ username2 SOMEONE DECODE THIS
↳ username3 i think this is the first time i see charles and yn interact 😭😭
iamrebeccad My job here is done
↳ carlossainz55 😂😂😂
↳ yourinstagram never trust the sainz-donaldson couple…
↳ username1 WHATS GOING ON HERE
↳ username2 lord i’m so nosy i need to be part of their friendgroup
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📍MONTE CARLO, MONACO
Living alone it's all fun and games until you get locked out of your house after a quick run to the store for some late night snacks.
You stood there, staring at your sophisticated security system installed in all the houses in your upscale Monaco neighborhood —one that was definitely too expensive for you, but you were grateful the company you worked for paid for your rent — feeling utterly defeated.
The high-tech lock had its advantages, but it also meant that once you were locked out, getting back in without a key was next to impossible.
Sighing, you pulled out your phone and texted Kika, hoping she might be able to help.
You frowned at the suggestion. Asking Charles for help wasn’t your first choice, especially given your rocky interactions in the past. And yes, maybe you had a great conversation in Barcelona but that didn't mean that he suddenly liked you and would be willing to help you.
What if he's busy? Or thinks you're stupid for locking yourself out of your own house? What if this is all part of the girl's plan of setting you up with a driver?
Were some thoughts that ran through your head as you stood in your porch. But with no other options, you pushed them away and sent him a message.
You sighed, feeling a mix of relief and nervousness. Asking Charles, someone who you disliked from time to time and thought he hated you just a few weeks ago for help wasn't on your bingo card, but there you were waiting for him to show up.
True to his word, Charles arrived shortly, wearing a casual outfit that made him look really comfy, and you prayed that you didn't disturb him too much with your antics.
"Locked out, huh?" he said with a grin.
"Yeah, stupid me forgot the keys inside," you replied, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"No worries, happens to the best of us," he said, pulling out a set of keys from his pocket. "I actually learned a trick for these locks. All the houses here have the same system, and I’ve had my fair share of lockouts."
You watched as he worked with the keys and the lock, not sure of what he was doing but trusting his word that he knew how to unlock it. After what it seemed like a minute, your door unlocked with ease.
"Thank you so much, Charles. You saved me," you said, letting out a sigh of relief, "And I'm really sorry that I bothered you, you must've been busy or just resting and I made you get out of the house."
"Hey, It's okay," he said, flashing you a warm smile, "Told you could shout if you needed a spare cup of milk, or in this case, a way into your house."
"Thank you a lot, really."
You smiled softly as you both stood on your porch, and he mirrored your gesture. You looked at his features for a moment, his eyes were soft and a beautiful shade of green and blue, he looked extremely cozy clad in his hoodie and joggers.
Ugh why are you even thinking about Charles Leclerc like that? The voice inside your head came out again. And you didn't have an answer for it, but you pushed the thought away and focused on the present moment.
"So, how's the unpacking going?" Charles said after a minute of silence.
"It's getting there. Still a lot to do," you shrugged.
"Well, if you need any help, just let me know," he offered. "I'm pretty handy with setting up furniture and stuff."
"I might take you up on that," you said, and you fell into silence again.
And that's when you realized that for some reason, you didn't want the interaction to end, and something about the way he looked at you made you feel like he didn't want it either.
"How about you come in for a cup of tea?" you suggested without even taking a spare second to think about it, "As a thank you for helping me out, I mean."
He looked pleasantly surprised. "I'd really like that. Thanks."
You led him inside, quickly tidying up a few stray boxes before boiling water for tea. Once it was ready, you both sat down with steaming cups of tea, and you started talking about the topic that was inevitable among the grid and friends: Pierre and Kika's upcoming wedding.
"Can you believe they're getting married?" you asked, stirring your tea.
"I know, right?" Charles replied with a chuckle. "Pierre's been so excited. He talks about it all the time."
"They're such a great couple," you said, smiling. "Kika has been my best friend for years. I couldn't be happier for her."
"Yeah, Pierre is like a brother to me," Charles added, his expression softening. "He deserves all the happiness in the world."
You took a sip of your tea, feeling the warmth spread through you, "They deserve each other."
"By the way," Charles said, setting down his cup, "have you thought about what you’re going to wear?"
"I’ve been stressing over it," you laughed, "I want to find something perfect, and I feel like I'm running out of time."
"I’m sure whatever you choose will be great," he said reassuringly. "You have good taste."
"Thanks," you said, feeling a bit flustered by the compliment. "What about you? Got your outfit ready?"
"Not at all," he replied with a grin. "You know, since you're the maid of honor and I'm the best man, we should coordinate our outfits," he suggested with a playful smile. "Imagine how great we'll look standing next to Pierre and Kika if we match."
You laughed at the idea. "Maybe we should. It would make for some great photos."
"I can already see it now," Charles chuckled, "The perfect duo."
The conversation flowed easily, and you found yourself genuinely enjoying Charles's company. He was funny, engaging, and far from the dismissive person you initially thought he was. You talked about everything from the wedding to your favorite places in Monaco, your work, his feelings about the F1 season so far and you couldn't help but think about how much the girls would freak out if they saw you talking and engaging the way you were.
Maybe they were right about you and Charles getting along well, but they're wrong about you possibly dating him, because you weren't looking for that, you thought to yourself again.
As the night drew to a close, Charles stood up to leave. "Thanks for the tea and the company, YN. I’m surprised we never got to talk like this before."
"Me too," you admitted, feeling a pang of guilt for your previous judgments about him. "I'm glad we did, though. And thank you again for helping me tonight, you were kind of my savior."
"Stop thanking me, you already did it like ten times," he said as you both walked to the door. "Are you going to the race in Austria this weekend?"
"I wasn’t planning on it," you said, "Kika's not going, and I usually go with her."
"Well, you could be my guest this time," he offered, a hopeful look in his eyes. "It could be fun."
You blinked, taken aback by his offer. "Are you serious?" you asked, needing to be sure you heard him right.
"Absolutely," Charles said, his tone sincere, "I know you're good friends with the girls and you love hanging out with them. It would be fun, and I'd love to have you there."
Your mind raced. When you left your house a few hours ago you never expected to get locked out which would lead to end your night with an invitation from Charles Leclerc to the Austrian Grand Prix, offering you a chance to spend time together at a race.
The wheels in your brain turned, making you unsure of your answer, when deep down you knew you wanted to take on his offer and go to Austria. You loved attending races and being around everyone in the F1 world, at first it was just something you did with Kika because of her boyfriend, but now it was something you enjoyed a lot.
Plus, you had to admit, the idea of spending more time with Charles was becoming increasingly appealing.
On the other hand, you couldn't shake the nagging doubt in the back of your mind. Was this just Charles being nice? Or what if the girls had put him up to this in another attempt to set you two up? You didn't want to complicate things somehow, especially with Pierre and Kika's wedding on the horizon.
Realizing you had been silent for a moment too long, you looked at Charles, your expression a mix of surprise and hesitation, and maybe you were crazy, but something in his face told you that he wanted you to say yes.
"That sounds amazing, Charles," you said, a small smile playing on your lips, "But… can I think about it? It sounds fun but I want to make sure I can make it work with my schedule."
"Of course," he replied with a nod, not pushing you for an immediate answer, "Just let me know soon so I can make the arrangements if you decide to come. I'd really like to have you there."
"Thanks, Charles," you said, feeling a warmth in your chest at his genuine interest. "I'll let you know soon."
"Great," he said, giving you a smile that made your heart flutter a little. "Goodnight, YN."
"Goodnight, Charles," you replied, watching as he walked away.
As you closed the door, you had one thought running through your head: the bridesmaids groupchat is about to go crazy
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the bridesmaids 👯♀️ groupchat
charles and yn texts
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📍SPIELBERG, AUSTRIA
The Austrian GP weekend had been eventful so far to say the least. When you arrived on friday, you expected to catch an Uber to your hotel, or for someone sent by Charles to pick you up.
But turns out, Charles himself was standing there as you walked through the gates, waiting for you with a warm smile.
None of the girls ended up attending the GP, so you spent most of your time with Charles. It felt strange at first, since you had never spent much time interacting with him before, but you'd be lying if you said that you didn't enjoy it.
Despite the friendly atmosphere off the track, it was a tough weekend for Charles competitively. His car had plenty of complications, from engine issues to problematic tires, which led him to a bad result on Sunday.
With that excuse, you suggested buying him dinner. You thought it would be a good way to cheer him up and to thank him for the weekend. It was friendly and casual.
You decided to have room service in his hotel room, neither of you in the mood to go outside, so you ordered a couple of pizzas, a bottle of wine and desert.
As the room service cart rolled in, you both laughed at how much food you had ordered. "I think our eyes were bigger than our stomachs," Charles said, eyeing the spread.
"Well, we have all night to work through it," you replied with a grin.
You both settled on the couch, the boxes of pizza open in front of you and glasses of wine in hand. If someone had told you a few months ago that you would be in this context with Charles Leclerc you'd laughed at them.
You knew the girls would have a field day when they found out.
"I'm really glad you came this weekend," Charles said after chewing on his slice of pizza, "It's been nice having you around."
"I'm glad I came too," you said, smiling back. "I didn't realize how much fun it would be. I always come to the races with Kika so this was different. Thank you again for asking me."
"I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about asking you," Charles took a sip of his wine, "I wasn't sure if you'd want to spend time with me."
You almost tensed at his words. All this time, you had assumed he disliked you because he had been rude or dismissive in your past interactions. But maybe it had all been a misunderstanding, like Kika had told you multiple times.
Damn you hated when she was right.
"Why wouldn't I?" you partially knew the answer, but you still wanted to hear what he had to say.
"I don't know. I guess I always thought you didn't like me much," he shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed.
"I thought the same thing about you," you laughed softly, "I figured you were being rude because you didn't like me."
"I never meant to be rude to you, at least not intentionally," Charles shook his head, "I'm really sorry if I ever was."
You looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes. "It's okay, Charles. I guess we both just misunderstood each other."
"I'm glad we cleared that up," Charles gave a relieved smile, "It feels good to finally talk about it. Honestly, with the wedding coming up and the roles we're playing in it, I was nervous about the entire thing being awkward."
"We're good now," you said, feeling a genuine warmth spread through you. "And now I can join you in suit shopping without it being awkward."
Charles laughed, a sound that was starting to become one of your favorites. "Oh yeah, we still have to do that. We're definitely matching."
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INSTAGTAM
liked by charles_leclerc, francisca.gomes and 102,268 others
yourinstagram lots of red and lots of room service ❤️
tagged: charles_leclerc
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username1 SLAYYYY
username2 CHARLES AND YN???
lilymhe The one time we all decide to skip the GP… ♥︎ by francisca.cgomes, carmenmmundt
↳ lilyzneimer literally
↳ iamrebeccad 😭
↳ username1 WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT LET ME INNNNNNNNNN
pierregasly I guess you don’t need me for paddock passes anymore ♥︎ by author
↳ yourinstagram i’ve never needed you that was always kika
username3 wait are her and charles together ??
↳ username4 they could be friends chill
username5 yn finally becoming a wag??? the masterplan worked ♥︎ by iamrebeccad, lilyzneimer, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe
↳ username1 ALL OF THE WAGS HERE AGAIN 😭
charles_leclerc Always a pleasure 🤍 ♥︎ by author
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gasly - gomes wedding 💍💍 groupchat
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📍MONTE CARLO, MONACO
"Charles you literally just passed me."
"Did I? Oh, I see you now," Charles said as he spotted you walking towards his car, hanging up the phone and parking so you could get in.
You got into the passenger seat, clicking your seat belt and dropping your hands to your lap, "Hello there."
"Hi love," Charles leaned in to peck your cheek, "How was work?"
This was routine by now. After your time alone in Austria, you and Charles couldn't stop hanging out. He picked you up from work, you cooked dinner for both of you, you had sitcom marathons together and so on.
It felt nice.
"It was meh," you shrugged, "My day is about to get interesting, though, isn't it?"
"If you find looking at ties and shirts for hours any amusing, then yes it is."
Today was the day you and Charles had been talking about for so long, you'd get his outfit for the Gasly-Gomes wedding.
You got your dress already, it was a beautiful satin green dress you absolutely loved. Since Charles was away racing when you bought it, you showed it to him through FaceTime and he insisted he needed to get the perfect suit to match it.
"It's going to be fun," you poked his side as he drove, "But we do need to find the perfect fit, Kika is going to kill us if we ruin her pictures."
"I mean you're going to look stunning so I just need to stand next to you and hope it rubs on me," he shrugged, and you felt your cheeks burn.
Charles made a habit out of complimenting you at this point, and even though you didn't want to think too much about it, you found yourself melting every single time.
"Feeding my ego again, Leclerc?" you teased.
"Just stating the obvious."
You engaged in small conversation as he drove to the boutique you've previously picked as your first option. One of the things about your unexpected friendship with Charles that you loved the most was how easy it is to talk to him about anything. It was easy, comfortable, and it made you realize just how much you enjoyed his company.
When you arrived at the boutique, Charles opened the door for you, a small gesture that always made you smile.
Inside, the boutique was filled with racks of elegant suits and dresses. A sales assistant approached you, and you explained what you were looking for. She guided you to a section with suits that could match what you needed.
Charles began browsing through the racks, holding up different jackets and shirts for you to see. After some deliberation, Charles found a suit that caught his eye.
"Try it on," you urged him, eyes sparkling with excitement.
Charles disappeared into the fitting room, and you waited eagerly. When he emerged, your breath caught in your throat. The suit fit him perfectly, making him look even more handsome than usual.
Since when were you this down for this man?
"What do you think?" he asked, turning to look at himself in the mirror.
"It's perfect," you said, "You look amazing, Charles."
He grinned, clearly pleased with your approval, "You think I look amazing, huh?"
"Don't let it go to your head, Leclerc," you replied, rolling your eyes but unable to hide your smile.
With the suit sorted, you moved on to finding the perfect tie. After a bit of searching, you found one that matched your dress perfectly. You held it up for Charles to see, and he nodded in approval.
"Looks great. Now, help me put it on?" he asked, a hint of playfulness in his eyes.
"Sure," you said, stepping closer to him.
As you worked on his tie, you realized just how close you were standing. Your hands moved deftly, but your heart raced with the proximity. You could feel Charles's breath on your face, and you couldn't help but glance at his lips every now and then. His eyes were fixed on you, a soft intensity in them that made your knees feel weak.
"There," you said, your voice barely above a whisper, "all done."
But neither of you moved. Your faces were inches apart, and the air between you seemed to crackle with electricity. You noticed Charles glancing at your lips, and you wondered if he could hear your heart pounding in your chest.
"Shame on Kika and Pierre," Charles said softly, a smile tugging at his lips. "We'll definitely be the best-looking pair at the wedding."
You laughed lightly, the tension easing just a bit. "Absolutely. They'll have to step up their game."
Charles's hand came up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. The gesture was so tender it made your heart flutter even more. "Thanks for helping me with this," he said, his voice sincere.
"Anytime," you replied, your voice equally soft.
You lingered a moment longer. It was just you and Charles, standing so close, sharing a moment that felt incredibly intimate. Eventually, you both stepped back, a silent understanding passing between you.
You really wanted him to kiss you
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INSTAGRAM
liked by charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 107,635 others
yourinstagram two weeks away from the gasly-gomes wedding: the happy couple, suit picking, speech writing and last girls trip as single ladies 🥲
tagged: fracisca.cgomes, pierregasly, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, lilyzneimer, carmenmmundt
view all 4,103 comments
username1 THE WEDDING IS SO SOOOOON
username2 BOYFRIEND CHARLES CONTENT JUST DROPPED
↳ username1 omfg are they together ???
iamrebeccad 🤍🤍🤍🤍
lilymhe “last girls trip as single ladies” and you’re the only one who’s actually single (not for long tho) ♥︎ by francisca.cgomes, lilyzneimer, carmenmmundt, iamrebeccad
↳ username1 LILY😭
↳ yourinstagram 🙄🙄🙄🙄
username3 we love the honorary wag
username4 charles in a suit i’m going insane
landonorris Can’t wait for the most alcoholic weekend of the year ♥︎ by danielricciardo, carlossainz55, lancestroll
↳ pierregasly I’m terrified already
charles_leclerc Best man and maid of honor, match made in heaven ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 CHARLESSSSS
↳ francisca.cgomes you’re welcome
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
the bridesmaids 👯♀️ groupchat
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📍PORTOFINO, ITALY
The most awaited weekend of the year was finally here, the Gasly-Gomes wedding bound was in full swing. Guests arrived to Portofino from all over, their excitement palpable as they gathered to celebrate the love between Pierre and Kika.
Despite Charles' attempts to convince you to fly with him, you were firm on your decision of flying with Kika, you knew how nervous she felt and you wanted to be by your best friend's side for the most important moment of her life.
However, you were attending the rehearsal dinner together. Which had caused a commotion with the girls earlier in the week.
Their so called plan of getting me a boyfriend from the grid won't work, you thought to yourself, I'm not even looking for a boyfriend, Charles is my friend.
The rehearsal dinner was set in a beautiful, intimate restaurant overlooking the sea, and you were waiting for Charles at the hotel's reception to leave together. You smoothed out your dress, glancing at the grand clock on the wall, you felt a bit nervous, which only made you think about Kika and the fact that she was probably a million times more anxious.
"Hey there," Charles's voice broke through your thoughts. You turned to see him approaching, looking effortlessly handsome in a tailored suit, "Mon Dieu, you look insanely gorgeous."
You felt your cheeks warm at his words. "Thank you, Charles. You clean up pretty well yourself."
He grinned, offering his arm. "Shall we?"
You linked your arm with his, and together you made your way to the car waiting outside. The drive to the restaurant was filled with light conversation and laughter. Charles had a way of making you feel at ease, and tonight was no different.
As you arrived at the venue, the soft glow of candles and string lights illuminated the setup. Tables were adorned with flowers, and the sound of the waves provided a soothing backdrop. You could see Pierre and Kika at the entrance, greeting guests with radiant smiles.
You were really happy for them.
"Let's go say hi," Charles suggested, leading you towards the happy couple.
"You both look amazing!" Kika exclaimed once you approached them, hugging you tightly. "Thank you for being here."
Pierre soon joined, greeting both you and Charles with a warm smile. "Thanks for keeping her sane on the flight here," he joked, giving Kika a playful nudge.
"It's the least I can do, you already stole her from me ," you said with a grin.
"I promise to share her from time to time." Pierre joked, making all of you laugh.
The four of you exchanged a few more words before making your way into the venue. The atmosphere inside was magical, the soft hum of conversation and laughter filled the air.
You really could feel the love and excitement radiating from everyone present.
You made your way towards the table, noticing Lando by the bar already. You couldn't help but giggle, he was dead serious about going all out with the alcohol this weekend.
You settled into your seats, Charles opening your chair for you before sitting down. You were at a big table where most drivers and their partners were already settled, Carmen and George next to you and Max and Kelly on Charles' side.
Damn, you were really the honorary WAG
"What?" you said, noticing Carmen's teasing smile as she glanced at you and Charles.
"Oh nothing," she shrugged, "You guys look really cute together."
You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. "Thanks, Carmen," you replied, trying to brush off her comment. "We're here as friends."
"Sure, sure," Carmen said with a wink, and you couldn't help but chuckle at her persistence.
The evening flowed smoothly, the conversations lively and the laughter contagious. As you sipped on your champagne, you couldn't help but steal glances at Charles. He seemed so at ease, laughing and joking with the others, his eyes occasionally meeting yours with a warmth that made your heart flutter.
Dinner was served, a spread of Italian cuisine that had everyone praising the chefs. You and Charles shared bites of each other's dishes, a habit that had become second nature.
After dinner, it was time for the speeches. Since you were best man and maid of honor, you came up with the idea of surprising Kika and Pierre with heartfelt messages, which lead you to nights of takeout at his place to help each other write your speeches.
Charles was the first to stand, his presence commanding attention as he held up his glass.
"Bonsoir, everyone," he began, his voice clear and confident, "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Charles,"
"No one knows you! You're not world champion," Max yelled from his place, making everyone laugh.
"Somebody's jealous because he's not best man, I see," Charles teased, causing laughter again, "Anyway, I have known Pierre for many years now, and I can honestly say he is one of the best friends I could ever ask for. And Kika, you have brought out the best in him. Your love story is truly inspiring, and I am so honored to stand here today as your best man."
His words were heartfelt and genuine, and you could see Pierre and Kika's eyes shining with emotion. Charles continued with anecdotes about him and Pierre's karting days and well-wishes, his speech met with applause and cheers by the end.
It was your turn now, you were nervous but Charles sent a wink your way as he passed you the microphone that made you relax.
"Kika and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember," you began, your voice steady. "We have shared so many incredible moments together, and seeing her find someone who makes her so happy is truly a blessing. Pierre, you have brought so much joy into her life, and I am beyond thrilled to see you both start this new chapter together."
Your speech was filled with love and appreciation, and by the time you finished, there were a few more teary eyes around the room. Kika hugged you tightly, whispering her thanks in your ear.
After the speeches, the lights dimmed, and music began to play. Everyone gathered around the dance floor, and Charles turned to you with a mischievous smile. "Care to dance?"
"Sure," you replied, taking his hand as he led you to the center of the dance floor. The music was slow, and Charles pulled you close, his hand resting on the small of your back.
You danced together, your bodies moving in sync. You felt his breath on your cheek, and the warmth of his touch sent shivers down your spine. You looked up at him, your faces inches apart, and for a moment, it felt like the rest of the world disappeared.
From across the room, Lily and Rebecca watched with satisfied smiles. Alex joined them, raising an eyebrow. "So, you think your plan worked?" he asked, amusement in his voice.
"Definitely," Lily said, her eyes twinkling. "Look at them. They're practically made for each other."
Rebecca nodded in agreement. "We've been planning this for months, and it looks like it's finally happening."
"Well, I have to admit, you girls make a pretty good matchmaking team," Alex chuckled, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend.
"We just knew they needed a little push," Lily grinned, "And now, look at them. They can't take their eyes off each other."
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liked by iamrebeccad, charles_leclerc and 254,378 others
yourinstagram MY BEST FRIEND JUST GOT MARRIED 🥲🥲🥲 brb i’ll be dancing and weeping all night
tagged: pierregasly, francisca.cgomes
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username1 OMFG KIKA LOOKS STUNNING
username2 AHHHH THIS CONTENT
lilymhe same over here 😩😩 ♥︎ by author
username3 god i’d give up my first born yo be at that wedding right now
yukitsunoda0511 yukierre is for life ♥︎ by author
↳ yourinstagram so is kikayn
↳ username1 I LOVE THEM 😭😭
↳ username2 ooohhh yuki and yn should get together so she’s finally an official wag
↳ username3 NOOO WE NEED CHARLESYN
francisca.cgomes I LOVE YOU JUST GRABBED MY PHONE TO COMMENT ON THIS ❤️❤️ now back to my wedding lol ♥︎ by author
↳ username1 she’s too iconic
liked by username1, username2 and 25,926 others
f1gossip Charles Leclerc getting cozy with one of the bridesmaids at the Gasly-Gomes wedding 😳
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username1 OMFG
username2 LOOORD
username3 ISNT THAT YN 😭😭
↳ username1 YEAH
username4 oh god lando really exposed them, someone take his phone from him
username5 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNN
username6 oh to be at that wedding right now
username7 YN HONORARY WAG IS NO MORE ITS TIME FOR YN REAL WAG ERA
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📍PORTOFINO, ITALY
Kika Gomes and Pierre Gasly were finally married.
The ceremony was held at a charming seaside chapel, adorned with white flowers and delicate ribbons. Guests filled the pews, their faces reflecting the joy and love of the occasion.
You stood beside Kika as her maid of honor, heart swelling with pride and happiness as she exchanged vows with Pierre. Charles, standing beside Pierre as the best man, caught your eye several times, his gaze warm and reassuring. The ceremony was beautiful, filled with heartfelt words, laughter, and a few tears of joy.
Charles made sure to compliment you from the moment he first saw you, and everyone was gushing over the two of you being color coordinated, just like you thought they would be.
After the vows were exchanged and the couple was pronounced husband and wife, it was time for the reception, or as Lando Norris would like to call it, the time to get absolutely wasted.
The party was held at a stunning villa overlooking the sea. The evening was filled with delicious food, heartfelt toasts, and lively dancing.
Just like the rehearsal dinner two days earlier, you and Charles were together all the time. Sitting beside each other at the table, Charles grabbing the train of your dress for you when you needed it, keeping at least a hand on each other all the time. You knew that wasn't "we're just friends" behavior, but you were too happy to mind.
As the night progressed, the drinks kept flowing, and everyone was in high spirits. Lando, true to his word, was leading the charge in getting everyone to the dance floor. You and Charles danced together, his hands on your shoulders as you swayed to the music, his breath on your neck as he whispered to your ear.
You knew some prying eyes were on both of you — and by that, you mean Rebecca, Lily and their respective boyfriends—, but once again, you were too happy and tipsy to mind.
After hours of dancing and celebrating, you finally took a break and sat down with your friends at one of the tables near the dance floor.
“You two were adorable on the dance floor,” Lily teased, giving you a playful nudge.
“Oh, stop,” you said, feeling your cheeks warm. “We’re just having fun.”
“Yeah, right. Just friends, huh?” Rebecca smirked.
Before you could respond, Charles appeared at the edge of the table, looking as handsome as ever, his suit jacket long forgotten and a few buttons of his shirt undone.
You were really down bad for him.
“Mind if I steal YN for a bit?” he asked, his eyes twinkling from the alcohol.
"Let the girl breathe mate! She's probably tired of you," Carlos teased, earning a round of laughter from the table.
You rolled your eyes playfully. "I think I can manage a bit more of Charles," you said, standing up and taking his offered hand.
"Of course you can," Rebecca said with a smirk. "Go meet your boyfriend."
You rolled your eyes again, but couldn’t suppress the smile spreading across your face. “He’s not my boyfriend,” you protested weakly, standing up from the table.
“Not yet, anyway.” Lily laughed.
You ignored her comment, though your heart did skip a beat. You don't know if Charles had heard any of it, but you let him lead you out to the terrace, your hand wrapped around his. From the corner of you eye, you saw Kika looking at you, nudging her husband and pointing at you both, teasing smiles on their faces.
They just got married so you'll let it slide.
“Nice to get a break from all the noise,” you said once you reached the terrace, leaning against the railing and looking out at the sea.
“Definitely,” Charles agreed, standing close beside you. “It’s been a perfect night, though.”
"I know," you smiled softly, "I'm so happy for Kika and Pierre, they deserve this so much."
"They really do. It's been a beautiful day," Charles nodded, his eyes fixed on you, "Just as beautiful as you."
He stepped closer, wrapping a hand around your waist, pulling you gently against him. Your heart raced at his touch, and you couldn't help but glance at his lips, wondering what it would feel like to kiss him. You'd thought about it more times than you'd like to admit, and the way he glanced at yours told you he did too.
“Charles,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper, “what are you trying to do?”
He smiled, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’m trying to charm the pretty bridesmaid,” he replied softly, his thumb tracing small circles on your waist.
You laughed, feeling a flutter in your stomach. “And how’s that working out for you?”
“Let’s find out,” he said, leaning in slowly.
He closed the distance between you, capturing his lips with yours. The kiss was everything you’d imagined and more, slow and sweet, filled with a longing that had been building for months. His hands slid up to cup your face, deepening the kiss, and you melted into him, losing yourself in the moment.
When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other.
“Definitely working,” you whispered, making him chuckle.
He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes full of affection. “Good to know,” he said, his voice low and full of warmth.
You spent a few more moments on the terrace, talking and laughing, sharing more kisses and wrapped around each other.
You were not sure what this meant for your friendship, but you were too happy to care. The night felt magical, like a dream you never wanted to end. It was a night of new beginnings, not just for Kika and Pierre, but maybe for you as well.
As you both made your way back inside, hand in hand, you noticed a few knowing smiles and exchanged glances among your friends. Kika and Pierre were still on the dance floor, looking blissfully happy, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of joy for them.
“Look who’s back!” Lando called out, a wide grin on his face.
“What’s going on?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at their suspicious behavior.
Kika abruptly approached the group, dragging Pierre by the hand a mischievous smile playing on her lips. “Everybody pay up,” she said, holding out her hand.
Charles and you exchanged confused looks. “What are you talking about?” he asked.
“We had a bet going,” Kika explained, clearly enjoying this. “We bet that we could get you two together before the wedding. And technically, we did.”
“Damn, I didn't think you girls would actually make it happen,” George handed over some money with a laugh.
“Wait, you all really bet on us? The infamous masterplan was actually a real thing?” you asked, still processing the revelation.
“Of course it was,” Rebecca said with a grin. “It was obvious to everyone except you two.”
"I can't believe you guys," you said, shaking your head but unable to suppress a smile, covering your face with your hands, Charles pecked your temple gently.
"To be fair, the girls started it, we just joined in later," Oscar said, trying to deflect the blame.
“I can’t believe it took a wedding and a bet to get us here," Charles chuckled, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, "I guess we owe you all a thank you,"
"No need to thank us. Just be happy," Carmen sent a wink your way, making you smile.
"Alrighty, a toast now," Lando said, climbing on top of a chair. Everyone knew he was too drunk to be stopped so you just let him, "To Kika and Pierre the happiest and most beautiful couple in the world!"
"Hear, hear!" echoed through the crowd as glasses clinked together, laughter and cheers filling the air.
"And to YN finally becoming an official WAG!" Kika chimed in, her eyes twinkling with mischief, making the girls cheer.
"Official, huh?" Charles murmured, leaning in closer.
"We'll talk about that later, Leclerc," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
The rest of the night was a whirlwind of dancing, laughter, champagne and celebration. Charles never left your side as you enjoyed with your friends.
As the party continued, you found yourselves on the dance floor once more, swaying to a slow song. Charles held you close, his arms wrapped securely around you. "So, how does it feel to be an official WAG?" he asked, his breath warm against your ear.
"As far as I'm concerned, you haven't asked anything, mister," you teased raising your eyebrows.
"Well then, consider this me asking," he murmured, his voice playful yet sincere.
"In that case," you began, teasing him further, "I suppose it feels pretty good."
He grinned, his eyes sparkling with affection. "Good to hear," he replied softly, brushing his lips against your temple.
Being an official wag was amazing
read some extra scenes here !
#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc fake instagram#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#formula one#charles leclerc fanfiction#harrysfolklore#f1 x reader#charles leclerc smut#f1 grid x reader#1k#2k#3k
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The moon and his sun
Aemond Targaryen x Female reader
Summary: People would remember their story. Even decades after they were gone, Septa’s would tell young children about the one-eyed dragon prince and his sweet wife as if they were a part of a fairytale, too good to be true for the harshness real life possessed.
Aemond meets a young girl who quickly becomes his most cherished friend and changes the course of history.
Word count: 11.5 K
Warnings: Fluffy, Aemond finally makes a friend, characters will be aged up next chapter, reader is from a made-up house
AN: This is my first time writing for HOTD and I'm excited and terrified to share this story with you. I've had this idea in my head for so long and decided to finally get it out. Hope you enjoy xx
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Epilogue
~~
He was used to playing for second best.
In his short life he became used to disinterested gazes, murmurs of his supposed cold heart and fits of rage, avoidant steps when he passed, the curse he possessed as the scarred second son.
But never from her.
She looked at him as though he put the stars in the sky. She looked at him as if he was the reason the sky bloomed with breathtaking colors in the early morning.
He felt himself unworthy of her attention and affection, something she was aware of, and she would hold him and tell him all the love she gave him was very much deserved.
It was a sentiment he always had trouble not disputing instantly.
She made his miserable heart full.
Aemond couldn’t believe his luck himself for the sun that entered his world and brightened his life.
He never believed he was worthy of her love.
And she spent her entire life trying to prove him wrong.
~~
It was a beautiful, sunny, cloudless day.
A day Aemond was dreading.
It wasn’t often their family made trips away from King’s Landing. His father was King and most visitors made the effort to come to the Capitol and spare them the effort of a visit, but a sudden trip had their entire family uproot their usual routine and he found himself hating every moment of it.
Being dragonless, he was left to endure the crashing waves of the sea that made his stomach turn.
“This place is disgusting.” Aegon said the moment they landed on solid ground.
“Aegon.” His mother admonished with a steady glare. “The Ixtal Islands are a beautiful place and they’re home to one of the most powerful houses in the seven kingdoms. You would do well to show them some respect.”
“Not like they’ll offer me anything of importance.” He muttered bitterly. Rumors had spread of his mother and father’s desire to wed him to his sister Heleana, his future already planned for him.
His mood was immediately soured at the realization that none of the beauties he saw on the Island shore were his intended, but that wouldn’t stop him from having his fun.
“Why are we even here?” Aegon whined immaturely, making his mother suppress yet another eye roll in response.
“The Lord of Ixtal is an old friend of your father.”
“I still don’t understand why that demands my presence here.” Aegon rolled his eyes.
“Our council is in need of a new Master of Coin and your father is considering his dear friend. We are here for negotiations and our family is nothing if not loyal. Your father, our King, needs us.” Alicent answered shortly.
Aemond was excited to finally see the Island he had read so much about. He knew their history, their riches and goods they traded with the entirety of the realm. The Ixtal Islands were the most plentiful and prosperous house in the realm and he was in awe to see his readings come to life before him.
It was the socialization he dreaded.
Nobles would look at Aegon with respect, respect he didn’t deserve even being the first born son of the King. Helaena would be regarded with reverence, a comparison to the Realm’s Delight.
But he was nothing more than a second son, easily brushed over.
Daeron was still just a babe, too young to understand the slight they possessed not having been born first, but Aemond understood all too well.
Their family was escorted into a grand throne room and Aemond was in awe of the intricate ornaments that decorated the hall and he briefly wondered why King’s Landing was where the most powerful man in the realm sat when this place existed.
His wide eyes eagerly took in every sight in front of him, admiring how the vast forest behind the castle casted a mystical green glow on the room from the giant window sitting behind the intricate gold throne.
“Viserys!” A cheerful voice called and for the first time in a long time, Aemond heard his father laugh, a genuinely delighted sound as he embraced his friend.
Aegon shared a brief look with him, his shock at hearing his father's laughter clear in the way he furrowed his brows in bitterness.
“It’s been too long, my friend.”
“Alicent, always a delight to see you, my dear.”
Aemond noted the blush on his mother’s cheeks as the charming lord embraced her. He shifted on his feet as his siblings were introduced. He knew what came next, the flippant dismissal was familiar yet it stung each time.
He looked up as the Lord shook hands with Aegon and gave Helaena a polite nod, her body language giving him the signal she wasn’t comfortable with anything else.
As he stepped in front of Aemond, he suddenly felt two feet tall under the man’s gaze. Until he smiled. It was a gesture filled with warmth he hadn’t been expecting.
“Aemond, a strong name for a strong lad.” The lord clapped his shoulder and Aemond felt his body straighten, his confidence reappearing the second he realized he wasn’t going to be passed over yet again.
He looked up at the Lord with a smile, feeling more respected by the stranger in front of him than he ever had from his own father.
“You remember my wife,” The Lord gestured to a finely dressed woman who smiled and bowed to them courteously.
“My son and-” The lord stopped abruptly, suddenly noticing the absence of the person who was supposed to be next in line and looked to his wife who was already wincing, having expected the abrupt drop in conversation due to their eldest daughter’s absence.
“My apologies, my daughter has lived here all her life yet still feels the need to explore.” The Lady of Ixtal explained, the lack of anger in her voice that gave way to begrudging acceptance made it obvious this was a common occurrence.
Viserys laughed and looked at his friend.
“You could not possibly think your children would give you any trouble, would you?” He chided sarcastically to the Lord who could only laugh in delight at his beloved daughter’s antics.
Aemond watched the interaction with wide eyes, intrigued by the sense of ease that surrounded everything.
If they were in King’s Landing and he was late to an event, his mother would have his hyde.
Suddenly, the great doors slammed open and an armored knight was seen running into the room, his hand latched onto someone small who was giggling in delight.
“My Lord, My Lady, I am so sorry, she wanted-”
“It’s quite alright, Ser Jerrod. I know my daughter could not have made it easy for you.” The Lord dismissed the unnecessary apology and smiled down at his daughter who smiled somewhat sheepishly as she passed by to take her place in line.
She smoothed her hands down the front of her silk dress and stood straighter, putting on the air of the perfect and primed daughter, as if they hadn’t all just seen her enter in a tizzy five minutes late.
Her mother looked down at her and leaned over her brother’s shoulder to pluck a leaf from her disheveled hair. Her eyes widened slightly, fearing retribution for her antics, but her mother only raised a teasing brow, silently admonishing her.
The girl brushed her messy hair off her shoulder and finally moved her gaze to their guests, a smile coming to her face as she met the eyes of the silver haired boy in front of her.
Aemond was rooted to his spot, his expression one of perplexed confusion. The smile she sent him, the gesture which was so simple - and usually faked by most at court - was blinding.
He was taken aback by the fact that she hadn’t looked at the powerful presence that was the King or the Queen faithfully at his side. She hadn’t looked at Aegon, Daeron or even Helaena, the only girl close to her age in the room.
She looked at him first.
She smiled at him first.
It was a gesture that wouldn’t mean much to anyone else, but to him, it meant everything, it lifted the veil of neglect he was so familiar with from his shoulders, leaving him to feel lighter than before.
He listened as the Lord introduced his daughter and he ran her name over and over in his head, feeling his cheeks heat, a blush easily coming to his face as she greeted everyone, but her stare came back to him, smiling shyly.
~~
“This place is beautiful.” Helaena spoke dreamily as she took in their surroundings.
They were granted leave to look around while the servants prepared to set up the welcome feast.
Aemond couldn't take his eyes off the white sand and the crystal blue water. He breathed deeply, relieved to smell nothing but fresh flowers and ocean water and not the filth that permeated King’s Landing.
“Father should take over this place.” Aegon mused, earning looks of disdain from his siblings, which he easily shrugged off. “What? It’s much better than our shithole of a home.”
Aemond rolled his eyes at his brother’s crass nature and kept walking, praying Aegon would somehow get lost or at least get bored of his company and leave.
The sound of a loud laugh caught all of their attention and they walked their way through the lavish gardens to find it. Aemond suddenly became nervous as he saw the children of the Lord and Lady of Ixtal.
The oldest son was playing some sort of ball game with his younger brother. The youngest sibling was reading quietly with her Septa. But the eldest daughter was nowhere to be found.
As they stepped forward, the youngest son straightened and nudged his brother to stop. Catching sight of the young Targaryen princes and princess they let the ball they were playing with drop to the ground as they bowed respectfully.
“Hello.” Helaena spoke brightly and the two young boys were helpless against her sweet nature and they both smiled and greeted her warmly.
“Where’s the other one?” Aegon asked rudely, looking around for the pretty girl from earlier who was missing.
Aemond grit his teeth, praying Aegon wouldn’t drive her away before he even had the chance to speak to her.
“She’s in her tree.”
“Her tree?”
The oldest brother pointed to the enormous willow tree behind them.
He called out to his sister, alerting her to the presence of the royal children and just seconds later, Aemond watched with a slowly growing smile as a lithe form began to descend the ancient tree.
She was slightly out of breath as she jumped the last few feet to the ground, brushing her already tangled hair out of her face as she practically skipped towards them.
As if her Septa’s teachings and her mother’s scolding from that morning had finally caught up to her, the smile on her face fell slightly, remembering she was in the presence of royalty. She slowed her pace and curtsied slightly clumsily as she came before them.
“It is lovely to see you all again. I hope you are enjoying Ixtal.”
Aemond felt his face heat with a deep blush at the sound of her voice, the slight accent he heard capturing him instantly and he wished nothing more than to take the book from her young sister’s hands and demand she read it to him just so he could continue to hear the beautiful sound of her voice.
“Your home is lovely. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Helaena spoke, breaking him from his thoughts. She moved towards the girl, the two of them engaging in easy conversation.
Aegon began speaking with the two brothers, learning the rules to the ball game they were playing, the young boys instantly getting along. Which left Aemond to stand by himself.
He shifted on his feet anxiously, contemplating if he should leave and find his mother. He’d at least have someone to talk to then. The pit in his stomach that grew as the familiar feeling of loneliness settled over him broke abruptly at the sound of the beautiful voice again.
“Would you like to sit?”
He looked up, his eyes meeting hers and for a moment, he wondered if she had actually been speaking to him. His gaze found Helaena who was now kneeling to talk to the youngest of the children who was mesmerized by her lavish dress.
Which left the oldest daughter alone and her gaze on him.
He swallowed against the lump in his throat and stepped forward slowly, his heart racing as he took a seat on the bench next to her.
“What are you writing?” He asked after clearing his throat, wincing to himself at the nerves that lingered in his words.
“Drawing actually.” She corrected. “And not very well by the looks of it.” She shifted closer to him to show him the sketches in her notebook, the scent of lavender invading every one of his senses as her shoulder brushed against his.
His eyes looked over the shaky drawings of flowers and the willow tree she had been sitting in just moments ago.
“They’re beautiful.”
She smiled and the sight was enough to leave Aemond thankful that he was sitting.
“Do you draw?”
“No, nowhere near as well as you.”
“You must be shit then because these are awful.”
Aemond choked on his breath at her words, his wide eyes looking over at her in shock. She had a carelessness to her that he thought he would’ve found arrogant, it was certainly how he felt about the other ladies at court who were so brazen before him.
But he found he could only feel enamored by the girl beside him.
A quiet laugh escaped him, his stomach flipping in ways he had never felt before.
“They’re not so bad.” He spoke quietly, his nerves reverting him to his bashful nature.
“You’re quite the flatterer, Aemond.”
No words came to him, he was left to stare back at her, completely taken aback by her easy nature and blinding smile.
She continued to show him her other sketches, the conversation between them flowing easily, something that Aemond had never experienced.
Later, as their guards escorted them away to prepare for the feast, Aemond’s ears rang with the sound of her laughter, leaving him to hope he would hear it again before he had to leave.
He spent the night with a smile on his face, behaving more animatedly than he had in all his life. Alicent had looked at her second son with barely contained emotion, delighted to see him so at ease.
She was so caught up in her emotions, she hadn’t even noticed how his eyes never strayed too far from the eldest daughter of Ixtal.
~~
The mischievous island girl was known to walk around the halls of the castle at all hours. It had happened so often for so long the guards didn’t bother to stop her anymore and no one batted an eye when they saw her wandering.
She made her way to her parents chamber hours after she had been put to bed.
She couldn’t stop the thought in her head and she had to see it through.
With a smile to the guard at her parent’s door, she strolled in as if it were her own chamber. Her parents looked startled for all of a second before they sighed in resignation.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed, Darling?”
“I was.”
Her father huffed out a laugh. “So what brings you here, Troublemaker?”
She let out a breath, her shoulders straightening, as if portraying herself as proper would help her cause.
“I want to go with you to King’s Landing.”
Her request did not go over as easily as she wished, she spent the next hour arguing with her parents, pleading her case. She may have overstated how much her decision to learn more about court, but her parents did not need to know her desire lay purely with her need to explore what the Capitol could offer.
Her parents knew she loved to explore and the chance to see a new part of the realm was too tempting to not indulge her in. Her parents loved her more than anything, they loved and doted on all their children in ways that left Lords and Ladies from other houses to scoff and roll their eyes in disdain.
They couldn’t say no to her.
By the next morning, she stood at her father’s side as their ship sailed to King’s Landing, her arm linked through his, her head filled with the wonders of what this new place would have to offer.
A smile grew on her lips as she pictured the shy boy who had complimented her drawings and her excitement began to grow.
~~
She was more reserved than she had ever been as she sat beside the table of royals. King Viserys had planned an extravagant welcome feast for the Lord of Ixtal, his new Master of Coin and his daughter to welcome them to King’s Landing.
She had never experienced so many Lords and Ladies approaching her before, giving her their hand to shake and curtsey before them in greeting. It felt as though she had never truly existed until she made it to the Capitol, where the matters of the court actually held weight and prospect.
Her father had regaled many a knight and Lord over the course of the night, leaving her by his side to sit quietly, the overlooked daughter. She knew the power her house held, she knew the reason most Lords gave their good fortune to her father was to ensure their trade routes would continue prosperously. She knew she was nothing more than fodder at her father’s side.
She picked at her food unhappily, contemplating her decision to venture so far from her home, so far from what was comfortable. Her eyes rose from her plate, surveying the large throne room before her, catching sight of her father in talks with a large group of Lords from around the realm.
With a heavy sigh, knowing she couldn’t interrupt her father, her eyes moved to the head table where the Targaryen family sat.
The head seat where the King sat was empty, he was busy at her father’s side. She let her eyes roam over the queen, taking in her quiet servitude and demure presence. Her gaze fell to the heir, Princess Rhaenyra sat with her husband Laenor Valaryon, her brows quickly rising at the sight of the brown haired children sat beside the silver-headed wedded pair.
Her eyes fell to Queen Alicent’s children, a small smile growing as she caught the gaze of Princess Helaena, the quiet girl sparing her a wave to which she eagerly reciprocated.
She was never one to fade into the background and she eagerly took the Princess’ gesture as a sign of goodwill, standing from her seat to make her way to the head table.
Helaena beamed at the girl as she approached, oblivious to her elder brother’s lustful intrigue and her younger brother who sat up straighter as the girl approached.
“Hello, my Lady, I hope King’s Landing is treating you well.” Helaena greeted the girl happily.
“It is lovely, Princess. I am sincerely grateful to your father for allowing myself and my father to reside in your home.”
“We are delighted to have you.” Helaena assured her. She fidgeted with her hands for a moment, her face turning bashful for a moment. “The ladies of the court will be gathering tomorrow, you should join.”
“I’d love to.” She responded eagerly, relieved to know her newfound solitude would not be long held.
“You should join us for breakfast as well. I can show you my collection.” Helaena added excitedly.
“By the Gods, Helaena.” Aegon groaned beside her.
“Collection?” She asked, staunchly ignoring the prince sitting next to the blushing princess.
“My insects. I’ve collected quite a beautiful group of them. I’d love to show you.”
Helaena had a lovely innocence to her she was powerless against.
“I’d be delighted to see them.” She told the princess sincerely, hoping she had found a friend in the eccentric girl. “I’ve also heard wonderful things about your library. I’m eager to read the works about Valryian history and the Targaryen dynasty. There are only rumors where I come from.”
Aemond sat forward in his seat, his eagerness to interject himself finally coming to a head.
“I can show you to the library.” Aemond offered, finally making his presence known.
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to take you from your duties.”
“You won’t.” He insisted, positive his face was blooming with a pink blush as her attention now lay on him. “There are many books that have not been translated, I would be happy to read them to you.”
He seemed to melt under her gaze that watched him curiously.
“You would do that?”
“Of course.” He insisted.
“That would be wonderful.”
He was thankful he was sitting because her smile would have knocked him off his feet.
By the next morning, as soon as the sun rose, he was sitting in the library, anxiously anticipating her arrival. He didn’t have to wait long until the door creaked open and her eager eyes took in the vast shelves around her.
She greeted him with happiness as if they were long time friends, causing his stomach to flutter in ways he had never felt before.
“This is incredible.” She mused, eyeing the many books she had to indulge in.
They spent the afternoon together, her at his side as he read the Valryian texts of their history, stopping every few minutes to answer the many intrigued questions she had.
Aemond was sure his face was on fire, he had never blushed so hard. No one had ever taken such an interest in him, no one had ever paid so much attention to him, no one had ever bothered to listen to him.
But here she was, this girl at his side, eager to know more, asking question after question, trusting him to give her the answer. As soon as he began to fear he had spoken too much, taken too much of her time she’d drawl out ‘tell me more’ or ‘what happened next’ and he was rooted to his seat, turning to the next page as he explained the history of the Targaryen dynasty to her eager ears.
He had never felt so important.
~~
King’s Landing proved to be just as wondrous as she dreamed it. Granted, it didn’t have the luxurious beaches or sprawling forests her home did, but she was just thrilled to be exploring a new corner of the world.
Aemond had quickly become her closest ally. He had taken to showing her every inch of the place he thought she would enjoy, dragging her along to the mazes of gardens, the weirwood tree, the luxurious Sept, but her favorite had to be the library. She had spent many late nights with Aemond at her side, perusing through the many ancient works of Valyrian history.
It fascinated her, but she couldn’t deny she loved to hear Aemond’s voice as he read to her, enthralled with stories of Aegon the Conqueror and his two sister-wives, stories of ancient dragons and their riders, of wars long passed.
A week into their stay, as she broke her fast with her father, she was practically bouncing in her seat, shoveling her food into her mouth as quickly as she could, eager to get the meal over with so she could meet with Aemond and Helaena, the two of them quickly becoming her closest confidants.
“Slow down, my love, you’re going to choke.” Her father warned with a chuckle at her enthusiasm.
“Sorry.” She mumbled through the food in her mouth, causing her father to grimace at her very unlady-like behavior.
“Your eagerness wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain Targaryen, would it?” He asked slowly, his knowing smile teasing her clear affection for the young boy she was growing closer to each day.
“Helaena and I are good friends.” She shrugged, effectively dodging her father’s prying. He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat, watching her thoughtfully. He had no idea where she had gained such a witty mouth, it certainly wasn’t from him or his sweet, quiet wife.
She finished the rest of her breakfast at record speed and hopped out of her seat, pressing a quick kiss to her father’s cheek.
“I’ll see you at dinner!” She called out over her shoulder as she skipped to the door.
“Be safe!” He called out, but she was already racing down the halls. He looked to the guard at the door pointedly who nodded and trailed after the rambunctious girl.
She slowed her pace once she reached the courtyard, suddenly very aware of the many eyes that would be on her if she was caught sprinting through the halls. She spotted a head of silver hair by the gates and she beamed, throwing all care out the window as she began to jog towards him.
“Aemond!” She called out and watched as the boy turned to her, his own smile growing at the sight of her.
“Took you long enough.” He jested playfully and reveled in the dramatic scowl she sent him.
“I’m not late. You are just an insane man that voluntarily wakes with the sun.”
It was so small, something so miniscule, but it still managed to make his heart race. Knowing she remembered a small detail about him, no matter if it was something that was so inconsequential, was something he couldn’t wrap his head around.
He hadn’t expected it to affect him the way it did.
~~~
She found herself with Helaena in the gardens, finding any bugs she could for the enigmatic
princess. Digging a jittery bug out of the dirt, her nose scrunched in distaste as the many legged creature crawled over her hand.
“What is this thing?”
Helaena peered over curiously and a wide smile beamed on her face.
“That’s a beetle.”
“They’re not poisonous, are they?”
The princess laughed in amusement at the widened eyes that met her gaze and she shook her head. “No, you’re safe.”
The girl nodded and, though still on edge, was less stressed as she held the bug in her hands.
Helaena, preoccupied with her own bugs, stole frequent looks at the girl next to her, noting the unease in her eyes. She smiled lightly and leaned in close to her.
“You don’t have to do this with me. I know not everyone likes the things I like. I can do this by myself.”
The girl looked startled by her words, a frown growing on her usually bright features and she looked down at the bug in her hands again, her eyes shifting from a look of disgust to one of determination, as if she could force herself to not feel grossed out at their existence.
“I like being here with you.” She said softly. “I don’t really have anyone else here.”
Helaena frowned, the thought of her brother immediately coming to mind and the smile that would grace his usually sullen face every time he was with the Island girl. As if she had conjured him herself, she looked over her shoulder, noticing him coming their way.
“Hello, Brother.” She smiled, though it was futile as his attention was locked onto the beauty beside her.
“Hello.” He spoke, though his eyes never left his sister’s friend. “What are you doing?”
“Finding bugs. Would you like to join?”
Helaena, having expected a ‘no’, given it was always Aemond’s answer anytime she asked him for help digging through the gardens, was shocked as he took a seat among them and dug his hands in the dirt before them without question.
The Princess watched with barely contained delight as her brother and friend immediately started conversing as if she weren’t there, the comfortable ease between them thriving.
Usually she would feel slighted by such an occurrence, but rather than feeling ignored, she was happy to see her brother, who was usually so serious, look completely unburdened. She worried about him, about how tightly wound he was, but since the Lord of Ixtal and his daughter had come to King’s Landing, she had noticed his demeanor change, as if he could finally take a deep breath and release the things that so often held him down.
Aemond looked at the dirt beneath his fingernails and mourned at what his night routine would be subjected to, but he found he didn’t care all that much. The stolen glances to the girl beside him had all sense of propriety out the window.
“Do you do this every day, Princess?” She asked the Targaryen who shrugged shyly.
“Most days. I find I prefer the company of bugs over people.”
The bark of laughter that left her had both the siblings smiling, her joyful nature contagious.
Aemond was transfixed, until he heard his name and he was forced out of his daydreams. He looked up at Aegon who was standing before them, judgment painting his features.
“What are you doing here?”
“We’re digging for bugs, Brother.” Helaena answered innocently, her eyes thankfully locked onto the caterpillar on her finger so she didn’t see how her brother rolled his eyes in disdain.
Aemond glowered at his brother, his mood dampened, his protectiveness for his sister rising involuntarily whenever he was around. He hated seeing Helaena’s eyes dim with every one of his hurtful words.
The Island girl looked between the siblings, beginning to understand just how different they were to her and her own siblings. The more time she spent with Aegon, the more she disliked him. She looked back at Aemond and frowned, noticing the dower expression grow on her friend’s face, and she called his name.
“Hmm?”
“What are these?” She asked, her dirt covered fingers trailing over the petals of the flowers in front of them, diverting his attention from Aegon.
“Marigolds.” He answered quickly, as if he wanted her to be impressed by his knowledge. “You don’t have these in Ixtal?”
“No. It’s a shame, they’re beautiful.”
Aemond bit his lip, his heart racing as she moved back to digging for bugs. He ignored the nerves that coursed through him and reached out to pluck the flower.
“Here.”
She looked up and her eyes widened, her cheeks burning as he tucked the flower behind her ear, his shy smile mirroring hers, his hesitance clear, but his bravery clearer.
Aegon scoffed, rolling his eyes at the pair.
The noise caused them both to glare at the older Targaryen, their eyes narrowed in annoyance.
“You two are pathetic.”
“It’s not our fault your pea sized brain cannot comprehend the idea of caring for someone other than yourself.” She snarked easily, making Aemond’s eyes widen as he nervously looked between her and his brother whose face twisted in anger.
Thankfully, his brother was smart enough to know not to start a fight with her and he stomped away, most likely in search of more wine.
“You shouldn’t do that.” Aemond mumbled, his worried eyes lingering on his brother’s figure as he stormed off.
“Do what?”
“Antagonize him.”
“Someone needs to knock him off his high horse. Why can’t it be me?” She shrugged, perfectly content to be the antagonist in Aegon Targaryen’s life.
“Because I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Why would anything happen to me?”
“Because… he’s… it’s Aegon.” He stressed, as if his brother’s existence was enough explanation.
“Yes, and he’s an absolute cock.”
Aemond’s eyes widened, not expecting the vulgar word to leave her lips. Helaena giggled and leaned into the girl at her side. His shoulders slumped and he allowed himself to laugh, amazed yet not surprised at her ability to evade him of his worries.
~~
A body crashed into her as she turned the corner, almost knocking her off balance, but arms that quickly wrapped around her waist stopped her from falling to the floor.
She recognized the boy immediately.
“Aemond.” She greeted breathlessly with a smile. He pulled away from her instantly, taking a step back to create space between them, his head bowed downwards, avoiding her gaze.
But she saw the tear streaks through the stains of ash on his cheeks. Her smile fell and she stepped towards him, her hands gently lifting his chin, though he vehemently refused and harshly pulled himself away from her.
“What happened?” She asked, trying to keep the hurt from her voice at his avoidance, something she had never experienced from him.
“Nothing.”
“Aemond.” She admonished gently. She hated when he acted like this, so unlike the kind boy she knew.
He kept his head down and she sighed heavily, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I won’t leave you alone until you tell me what happened.”
Aemond huffed and side stepped around her to continue on his way to lock himself in his chambers and wallow, but she was too quick. She grabbed his hand to stop him and pulled him back towards her.
He spoke her name, the groaned pronunciation indicating he wasn’t in the mood.
“I just want to go to my chambers.”
“Fine. We can go together.” She said simply and linked her arm through his as they began to walk.
Aemond let out a long breath, his annoyance flaring for a second, but the moment he looked over at her it faded away into nothing. He brought his arm that was linked with hers closer to his chest, as if needing her touch to soothe his nerves.
He thought he wanted to be alone. After his mother had brushed off his tears and scolded him yet again for venturing through the dragon pit, he just wanted to wallow by himself, but with her arm in his, her steady presence at his side, he found he wanted nothing but to be with her.
Once they made it to his chambers, he reluctantly let go of her and practically slumped his way to sit on his bed, his head bowed down to his feet, his brother and nephews' latest prank ruminating in his head, causing shame and anger to cascade over every inch of him.
“Are you going to tell me what happened now or am I going to have to force it out of you?”
Aemond huffed at her words and began to fidget with his fingers, focusing on the sand that lingered on his skin rather than meeting her inquisitive gaze.
She rolled her eyes and moved to sit next to him on the bed, brushing the sand from his hair.
“Were you in the dragon pit again?”
He nodded wordlessly and she felt something inside her clench. She would never understand the hole in Aemond’s heart, how his lack of a dragon made him feel so worthless.
“They said they found a dragon for me.” He mumbled, causing her to look over at him with concern, her stomach sinking at the hurt she heard in his voice, knowing his dreams hadn’t come true that afternoon.
She knew it could only be a cruel prank at his expense.
“They gave me a pig.”
Her shoulders slumped, her hand reaching out to grab his, intertwining their fingers with an ease as though she had done it a million times before. She had only held his hand a few times and it made Aemond blush bright red every time, even now as he wallowed.
“I’m sorry. They shouldn’t be so cruel to you.”
“They’re right. It’s pathetic, a Targaryen without a dragon.”
“Aemond-”
“Maybe I’m not worthy and I’ll never get a dragon, maybe that’s why my egg never hatched. I don’t deserve it.”
“Stop it.” She spoke sternly, gripping onto both his hands in an effort to calm him down from his ranting. “You are every bit as good as any one of them, dragon or no dragon.”
Aemond sighed shakily and moved his gaze back down to his shoes, feeling as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“What if I never find one?” He asked quietly, as if afraid to speak the possibility out into existence.
“You will. I know you will.” She assured him, though it did little to release him from his sadness. “There are plenty of Targaryens that didn’t claim dragons until later in life.”
Aemond gave her a plain look, to which she just smirked. Serves him right for teaching her about his family history.
“Aemond, we’re young, we still have so much life to live. It’s not over because you don’t have a dragon yet. You have so much time to find what you’ve always wanted.”
The breath that escaped his lips left him feeling lighter, his hand finally gripping hers back, sending a bashful smile her way, hoping it was enough to convey how grateful he was for her.
He didn’t think he could ever find the words to tell her.
“You’d be with me, won’t you? For my first ride?”
“You would want me there?”
“Of course I would.”
She smiled and he was powerless but to return his own. “Then I’ll be there.”
~~
Aemond’s glare was steady on his face, his eyes locked onto the Strong bastard that twirled her around.
How dare he ask her to dance, how dare he touch her, how dare he make her smile.
His disdain for his nephews was clear, they certainly didn’t give him much reason to be cordial, but this was the last straw. Seeing Jacaerys’ hands on her made his blood boil.
Those damned nephews of his had already stolen her away from his side that afternoon. He could only watch helplessly as she played around with the bastards and spoke politely to his half sister Rhaenyra.
He almost resented how sweet his friend was. He loved her kind heart, he just hated when it extended to his elder half sister and her sons who he despised.
He hated when Jacaerys and Lucerys stole her away from his side. It was happening more and more as they became closer. He felt like he was losing her, the more times she spent breaking her fast with his eldest sister and her brood, the more he dreaded every moment away from her.
She was his only friend, the only one he felt truly understood him, or at least made the effort to. Losing her would mean losing the only shred of happiness he’d managed to find for himself.
He averted his gaze from Jace and the Ixtal girl, the sight of both their bright smiles becoming too painful.
“They seem to get along well.” His father mused, prompting Aemond to torturously follow his gaze to the pair yet again.
His heart began to race at the insinuation, at the knowing look in his father’s twinkling eyes.
“Yes, he seems to be quite taken with her.” Rhaenyra noted with a loving smile.
“They’d make a fine match.” His mother added. Aemond looked to his mother, betrayal in his gaze. His mother knew how much his friend meant to him, she knew someone so precious shouldn’t be shackled to a bastard.
He refused to hear another word. His chair screeched loudly against the floor as he abruptly stood and made his way out of the room as if there were no air left for him to breathe. They couldn’t take her away from him, they couldn’t give her to that bastard.
He raced to his chambers, hoping he was quick enough that no passing guards could see the tears forming in his eyes.
By the next day, he found himself in the gardens, his eyes locked onto the open book in his lap as he read and re-read the same sentence over and over, his racing mind not allowing him to focus on the words in front of him.
The dread he had been feeling since the night before had not dissipated in the slightest.
“Aemond!”
His heart leapt within his chest at the sound of her voice. His hopeful eyes looked around the garden before landing on her and a feeling of lead settled within him, bringing him right back down to his dour mood as he noticed Jace and Lucerys beside her.
She motioned for him to join but he just shook his head softly and moved his gaze back down to his book.
He let out a long breath, trying his hardest to ignore the bitterness that grew in his heart, one that was all too familiar from before he met her. He startled slightly as a body slumped next to him. He looked up and his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her looking at him questioningly.
“Why are you sulking?”
“I’m not sulking.”
She breathed deeply, as if disappointed by his obvious lie. “Why didn’t you join us?”
He shrugged, he couldn’t very well tell her the truth about how he despised his nephews and seeing her with them was like a dagger to the heart, how he feared losing her, his greatest friend.
“I didn’t want to intrude.” He spoke softly.
Her eyes narrowed at his words, her gaze moving to the two Velaryon boys who were talking quietly amongst each other, their curious eyes occasionally drifting to her and Aemond.
She knew there was tension among them, the way they seemed to side with Aegon and play along in the cruel pranks he would play on Aemond always made her stomach twist. She suddenly felt guilty that she had never considered how it would make Aemond feel to be forced in their vicinity after how they treated him.
She turned to her friend and shuffled closer to him.
“You could never intrude.”
Aemond looked over at her, but quickly averted his gaze, finding it just too much to look in her eyes while she sat so close to him.
“You don’t have to stay with me. If you want to be with them, I won’t stop you.” He spoke quietly. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel smothered by him.
“I’d rather be with you.”
Her answer left him using all of his willpower to keep himself from marching directly to his father and demanding a betrothal this instant.
She chose him.
No one had ever chosen him.
~~
She was bored out of her mind. With Aemond and Helaena gone to Driftmark for Lady Laena’s funeral, she was left without her closest confidants, leaving her little to do in their absence. She wished she’d been granted leave to attend the funeral with them, but her father had never met Laena and had been tasked with extra duties while the King was gone, leaving her to stew in her loneliness.
She was curled up on the settee by her bed, her sketchbook in her lap as she scrawled out an attempt at drawing Dreamfyre, to horrible failure.
A soft knock on her door made her lift her head and she sat up straighter when her father entered. The look on his face made her stomach twist, dread falling upon her like a crashing wave.
She got to her feet quickly, feeling unsteady on her now weak legs.
“Darling, there was an… incident on Driftmark.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat, her heart racing. “What happened?”
“I wasn’t privy to all the details but all I know is that Aemond has been injured.”
The breath was knocked out of her and at the first sign of her face crumbling into despair, her father crossed the room and held her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as the first sob broke free.
“Is he alright?”
Her father let out a long breath at her hiccuped words, holding her tightly. He knew his daughter had certain affections for the young boy, but hearing her now made him realize just how deeply she cared for him.
“The Maesters say he has lost an eye.”
A shuddering breath escaped her and she suddenly felt faint. She had no idea how, what could have unfolded, who would dare to do something so barbaric to him.
The next days were spent in agony. She barely left her chambers. Every time her father came to check in on her, he found her sitting by her window, her gaze locked onto the horizon, waiting eagerly for the Targaryen family’s arrival.
On the third day of her lonely torment, she finally spotted it. Dragons on the horizon. She was on her feet in a second and racing down to the courtyard. She was out of breath and disheveled by the time she made it, but her pace only quickened when she saw Helaena with her mother.
She called out to her friend and Helaena let out a breath of relief when she saw her, her arms opening for her as she approached.
Helaena didn’t let many touch her, but she was one of the lucky few she allowed.
“Are you alright? Where’s Aemond? Will he be ok?” She fired off questions, not even able to get a breath out through her frantic words.
“It’s alright, my Darling. Aemond will be fine.” Alicent consoled her, placing her arm around the shaking girl’s shoulders.
“Where is he?”
“He’s been taken to the Maester’s solar. He’ll have to spend some time there while he heals.”
“What happened?” She asked breathlessly.
“What I told him.” Helaena interjected calmly. “He gained a dragon, but he had to close an eye.”
She looked at Helaena with shock. “He… he claimed a dragon?”
She couldn’t make sense of the despair, relief and joy she had felt all at once. Knowing Aemond and his endless plight to gain a dragon, she knew he would see it a worthy trade, but the thought of him injured, permanently maimed, made her want to crumble to the ground below her.
After bidding goodbye to Alicent and Helaena, she made her way to the Maester’s wing of the Keep. She was denied entry, but she was determined to not let it stop her. Each day, at the crack of dawn, she’d drag herself out of bed and, before even breaking her fast, would make the trek to the Maester’s wing and ask to see Aemond.
She was refused each and every day, but it did little to deter her. She kept trying.
It had been weeks since she had seen Aemond. Her heart was aching without the presence of her best friend, without the boy that made her smile like no other could.
On the fifth day of the third week, as she made the familiar walk to his door, the guard stopped her, as usual, though his words were different.
“The Prince does not wish for any visitors.”
She frowned. It always used to be the order of the Maesters or Alicent, claiming her son needed his rest, but now it was Aemond himself refusing her.
She couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but she knew she had felt her heart crack in a way she had never felt before.
She walked away from the door with her head bowed in defeat.
The hurt she felt mirrored Aemond’s own. Refusing her made him ache, but the thought of her seeing him as he was and looking at him with disgust was unfathomable and he would delay that inevitable despair as long as he could.
He sulked in his bed, the dour expression on his face one that had been constant for weeks.
His mother was by his bedside as she had been for weeks. He couldn’t stand to see her wince or her teary eyes everytime she looked at his ghastly scar.
She had been trying, in no subtle terms, to get him out of the room, even going as far to bring up his friend, the one he longed to see yet dreaded ever seeing the same look on his mother’s face on hers.
“It’s been a few weeks. She’s been worrying herself sick.” His mother told him, making his already weak heart more fragile.
He stayed silent, his frown deepening in despair.
“Aegon and Helaena will be heading out tomorrow to Ixtal. You should take Vhagar and join them.”
Aemond shifted uncomfortably. He knew his friend was leaving tomorrow, to visit home for her mother’s name day. They had all been invited, but with his father’s fading health and his mother’s refusal to ride on dragonback, it left just Aegon and Helaena to join the festivities.
“Aemond.” His mother prompted again, the disappointment in her voice clear.
“I don’t want to go.” He mumbled, one of the few sentences he’d managed over the past few weeks.
His mother sighed in defeat and didn’t bring it up again for the rest of the night, leaving him to his solitude as he preferred.
The next morning, Aemond lay in bed, the wound over his eye itching gratingly. He longed to claw at the wicked scar, to scream in anger, to enact his vengeance on that Strong bastard. The fury festered in him like the open wound on his face, red and flaming.
The soft sound of his door opening and closing made him stir, assuming it was his mother yet again. As he lazily turned his head, dread settled in his stomach, his remaining eye widening in horror at the sight of her, the one he longed for yet resisted.
She froze in her place at the door, her jaw falling slack, a shaking hand covering her mouth as a hitched breath escaped her at the sight of him.
Aemond’s face twisted in agony. This was exactly what he wished to avoid.
“What are you doing here?” He asked angrily, tears forming in his remaining eye.
“I just wanted- I wanted… we’re leaving soon.”
It was faint but he heard it. Fear. The stuttering of her words, the quiet, almost docile way she spoke that was so unlike her was like a hatchet to his heart. The look on her face was even worse. She could barely make eye contact with him.
“Get out.” He spoke lowly through gritted teeth.
“Aemond, I-”
“Get out! I don’t want you here!” He screamed at her, tears steadily falling down his cheeks.
Her own tears began to fall, her face twisting with agony. He hated it. He didn’t want her pity, he didn’t want to see the disgust on her face that everyone would face him with for the rest of his life.
“Leave me alone! I never want to see you again!”
She let out a sob and turned on her heel, leaving the room with haste.
Aemond slumped back in bed, placing his hands over his face, ignoring the way it made his eye ache, and he cried for what he had lost.
Not just his eye, but his love, his happiness. His everything.
~~
She stood on the balcony of the banquet hall, breathing in the fresh ocean air. She missed home. She had thought of this moment for weeks, had been eager and excited to finally visit, yet now that she was there, it was bittersweet.
The sound of the waves weren’t as peaceful as she remembered. The food she ate wasn’t as delicious as she remembered. The music and the dancing wasn’t as exciting as she remembered.
“Darling?”
She turned to see her mother approaching, concern written across her face as she moved to stand next to her daughter, her arm crossing over her shoulders, bringing her in close to her side.
“Are you alright? I thought I’d see you dancing all night.”
“I’m fine.”
The Lady of Ixtal looked to her once vibrant daughter worriedly. She was far from the girl that had left all those months ago. From all the letters she had sent, it seemed her daughter was having the time of her life in King’s Landing. The girl she saw now wasn’t the one who had gleaned nothing but happiness.
“Was it not what you expected?”
She stiffened, the need to defend her friends and her new found home rising. “No, it’s- King’s Landing is lovely.”
Her mother sighed. She had gotten a short re-telling of the last few weeks in the Capitol from her husband and she was starting to put the pieces together.
“I couldn’t help but notice your friend isn’t here.”
She looked up at her mother, her wide doe-like eyes giving everything away.
“Aemond?”
She felt her cheeks heat and she turned her attention back to the view before her, focusing on the waves of the ocean, mirroring her breathing with each crashing wave.
“He’s not my friend anymore.” She spoke quietly through the lump that grew in her throat.
“From what I’ve heard, it sounds as though he is going through an awful time, something no one, especially someone so young, should ever have to endure. People don’t exactly act rationally when they are hurt. It is easy to speak things that are untrue in that state.”
She stayed silent, taking in her mother’s words thoughtfully. It was easy enough to explain, but it didn’t lessen the hurt she felt.
“You can stay here if you wish. The Gods know I would love to keep you in my arms, but I don’t think that is truly what you want.”
She let out a shaking breath, her mind a mess as she thought of her life in King’s Landing, of what she’d be leaving behind. But, if Aemond was being truthful and he didn’t want to see her or be her friend anymore, what would her life be like there?
“I don’t know what to do.”
“You’ll figure it out.” Her mother assured her. “Or else we’ll have a dragon landing on our shores demanding you come back.”
The smile on her mother’s face made the hurt inside her melt away slightly. Her conviction that Aemond would forgive her for her intrusion, that he would bring her back into his life and his arms made her hopeful.
Her mother was never wrong and she prayed she wouldn’t start now.
~~
She clutched onto Helaena’s waist as they flew on Dreamfyre back to King’s Landing. No matter how thrilling it was to ride a dragon, no matter that she felt as light as a feather, that she could touch the clouds and feel as though she was in a magical, untouchable realm, it felt wrong.
Her first ride shouldn’t have belonged to Helaena, it shouldn’t have been with Dreamfyre. It wasn’t what she promised.
As they dismounted, Helaena’s hand held hers and stayed, holding tightly as they made their way from the dragonpit to the Keep, as if knowing her friend needed the comfort.
As they parted, Helaena promised she’d spend the day with her tomorrow, knowing she needed the distraction from Aemond.
She smiled, though it wasn’t as bright as usual, and with a wave, they parted. She stepped into her chambers and sighed heavily, mourning what her time in King’s Landing would hold.
She moved to her bed, content to hide under the covers for the rest of the day, but she stopped, noticing a bundle of flowers on her desk. She frowned, she certainly hadn’t put them there before she left.
She stepped closer, her fingers gently tracing along the soft petals. They were perfectly bloomed and freshly plucked, most likely just placed on her desk mere minutes before she arrived.
It suddenly struck her.
They were marigolds.
She remembered the flower Aemond had tucked behind her ear, the ones he would bring her on occasion simply because he knew she was fond of them.
Her heart began to race, her stomach flipping at the merest notion that it could’ve been from her best friend. She picked up the bundle, inhaling their fresh scent with a small smile.
She noticed the slip of parchment below them, the simple words in familiar handwriting brought tears to her eyes.
I am deeply, truly sorry.
I didn’t mean a word of what I said
Please forgive me
- Your Aemond
Her breath hitched, her chest feeling tight with sorrow.
The words he had screamed at her that day hurt her deeply, yet the thought of not having Aemond by her side, not having him as her friend, was unfathomable.
She spent the remainder of the day in her chambers, picking sparsely at the food her father had sent to her, knowing she wanted her solitude. By the next morning, having thought of nothing but Aemond all night, she was determined to see the end of their rift.
She dressed quickly and stepped out of her chambers, determined to march her way straight to Aemond, but she was stopped by her guard.
“The Prince has requested your presence in the gardens.”
The crease in her brow that signaled her determination smoothed out, leaving nothing but hopeful nervousness as she quickly made her way through the halls of the Keep. She ignored the looks of disdain from the ladies of the court as she raced past them, ignoring the whispers of her undignified behavior.
They were the last things on her mind.
Her heart was racing within her chest as she approached the gardens. She walked the familiar path, one she had taken countless times, to get to their usual meeting spot. Her feet came to an abrupt stop as she turned the last corner and saw him sitting on their bench, the one they always congregated to over the months together.
Nervous butterflies fluttered within her as she approached him.
She called out to him softly, cursing herself for how her voice shook in hopeful anticipation.
Aemond turned to face her and she was shocked to see the eyepatch across his face, covering the angry looking wound she had seen that morning in his chambers.
Her heart ached at the sight of the red scar that peeked out from the patch. It looked painful and the reminder of what he had gone through, what his own nephew had inflicted on him made her want to cry.
He spoke her name in greeting, giving her a small, weak smile. He winced slightly, the pull of his cheeks causing his scar to flair with pain.
Her chest tightened at the sight of him. He seemed smaller, as if he sat hunched over, trying hard not to take up too much space in the world.
“I’m sorry.” She blurted out before he could speak. He looked up at her incredulously, his stomach twisting at the despair he saw on her face. “I shouldn’t have just barged into your chambers. I knew you wanted privacy and I ignored your wishes and I’m sorry. I never meant-”
Aemond spoke her name breathlessly, stopping her rambling apology. He had never seen her so frantic before, it was unnerving to him, nothing at all like the lively girl he was used to. And it was his fault.
“You don’t have to apologize.” He told her softly. He looked down at his hands that fidgeted in his lap, shame overcoming him as he thought back to that day, when he had yelled at her so callously. He had replayed that moment over and over again in his head for days and it was torturous each time.
He couldn’t get the sight of her tears out of his head. To know he was the cause was his greatest shame.
“I’m sorry.” He spoke earnestly, looking her in the eyes intently, hoping she would believe him. “I never should have spoken to you that way. I’m so sorry I made you cry. I never will again, I promise.”
She let out a long breath, his words stirring something inside her she couldn’t recognize.
He frowned deeply at her lack of reaction, shuffling over and patted the space next to him on the bench, motioning for her to take a seat beside him.
She moved slowly, hesitantly taking her seat next to him.
“I’ve never seen you that angry before.” She spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper as she recalled that dreadful day.
Aemond sighed and bowed his head.
“I…” He started but soon found he had no words, no excuses for how he had treated her. Nothing would ever make it ok, never to her. “I hated to see you look at me like that.” Was the only thing he could think to say.
“Like what?”
“Like you were horrified of me.”
“I was horrified.” She said and he felt his insides turn to stone, his throat tightening with emotion. “But not of you. Never of you.” She added quickly, causing him to look over at her, his eye wide and shining with unshed tears.
“But-”
“Aemond, the thought of what happened to you, the thought of you in pain… it hurts me.”
The vice around his heart lifted instantly. His mind was spinning with the insinuation of her words.
“You… you’re not-”
She reached out, taking his hand in hers, causing words to fail him.
“I could never be afraid of you. I could never feel disgusted by you, I could never think any less of you, or whatever other horrible thing you think I feel for you now. No scar will change how I care for you.”
The weight that had been suffocating him for weeks now seemed to lift just the slightest, allowing him to feel as though he could finally take a breath.
He let out a shaking breath and tightened his hand in hers. She smiled softly and leaned in closer to his side, letting her head fall to his shoulder, letting him revel in her closeness.
He hated the stares he got from the ladies at court, he hated the winces, the horrified gasps as he passed them. He hated the worried looks he received, as if he was seconds away from collapsing like a weak mannered child.
But none of it mattered.
She still cared for him, she was still by his side, her hand in his.
Even the burning fury he held for his nephew seemed dim in the wake of the pure delight he felt in her presence.
“But, if you ever raise your voice to me like that again I will smack you.”
Her threat, that held no anger in the slightest, made him laugh and duck his head against hers as his body shook with each breath of laughter.
His first laugh since the incident.
From then, they were closer than ever. One was seldom seen without the other at their side.
The Ladies at court through the two of them were just about the most darling thing they had ever seen. Yet, not everyone was rooting for the threads of young love to flourish.
Alicent watched her son in the training yard with a frown. Her second son, so dutiful and so smart, was becoming distracted. Her eyes never strayed from him as he neglected his own lessons to play around with his friend, watching with a scowl as the two of them laughed together, as if there was no care in the world.
The sight of the young girl in the training yard was enough to leave her appalled, but her son’s willingness to indulge in such unseemly behavior was worrying.
“We cannot let this go any further.” Her father spoke from beside her.
“I can’t very well tell him he cannot be her friend. It would devastate him.”
“Let them be friends, but make it clear that is all it will ever be. Aemond can’t get any ideas about marrying this girl.”
Alicent chewed on her lower lip anxiously. The thought of tearing her son away from such happiness turned her stomach, but the thought of him marrying a girl so unpredictable was just as unfortunate.
“Would it really be so bad? We could gain leverage with her father.”
“Ixtal is a neutral house. They have never taken a stand in any war, that won’t change now. We cannot risk Aemond allying with a house that could not give us leverage for Aegon’s claim.” Otto hissed angrily.
Alicent wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes falling back to her son, taking in the sight of his smile while she still could. She doubted it would be a common sight once he was forced away from the Island girl.
But they all had a duty to perform.
~~
Her arm was looped through his as he guided her past the dragon pit.
“Where are we going?” She asked, looking over her shoulder at the structure that housed the mighty Targaryen dragons they had just passed.
“Vhagar doesn’t stay there. She doesn’t fit.” Aemond explained, a slightly smug smirk crossing his features as he subtly boasted about his newly claimed dragon.
Her smile twitched slightly, her nerves suddenly overtaking her. She’d been hesitant when Aemond offered to introduce her to his mount, but the reminder of the great beast’s sheer size had the beginnings of fear creeping through her veins.
Noticing the subtle shift in her expression, Aemond tightened his grip on her arm.
“I would never put you in danger.” He assured her. “Vhagar is bonded to me, she can feel what I feel for you and she would never hurt you.”
“If I could hear that directly from Vhagar I might be able to breathe properly.”
Aemond snickered and led her forward excitedly.
Soon, they arrived at the crest of the hill, Vhagar’s enormous form coming into view. A shuddering breath escaped her when she came face to face with the historic dragon that fought in wars long before her time.
She could barely comprehend such a beast of her size existed among them, that the sweet boy beside her commanded her or even willingly approached her.
“Relax.” Aemond told her softly, moving out of her hold so his hand could take hers, intertwining their fingers.
The pair of them stepped towards the sleeping giant. She watched, mystified, as Aemond spoke a few words of Valaryian, the dragon's eyes sleepily opening, her large head lifting towards them.
She felt her body freeze, the blood in her veins running cold as the mighty dragon looked past her rider, her curious gaze landing on her. A low rumble shook the ground, Vhagar’s protest to the stranger before her.
Aemond soothed his dragon, placing an affectionate hand on her snout as he spoke soft commands.
She doubted a few measly words would suddenly convince Vhagar that she wasn’t a tasty snack, but she could only watch, her eyes widening as the dragon became disinterested by her presence, laying her head back down on the warm grass she had been slumbering on.
Aemond looked over his shoulder at her prone form several feet back and smiled, motioning her to come closer.
She shook her head adamantly, her feet frozen in place.
He spoke her name, holding his hand out to her.
She looked to his hand and then to his dragon and back again, contemplating the risk to her life.
“Do you trust me?” Aemond asked and her tense shoulders sagged. She had no reason to doubt her best friend. With one look in his eye, she knew he would never let any harm come to her.
She took slow steps forward, her fear not allowing her to move any quicker.
She reached out and took Aemond’s hand in hers as soon as she was close enough, holding on tightly.
“It’s alright.” He assured her.
He guided her hand toward Vhagar, watching the girl beside him closely, gaging every expression that crossed her face in a matter of seconds. From fear, to doubt, to disbelief and suddenly to awe.
A shaky laugh left her lips as her hand softly rested on the rough scales of Vhagar’s side. Pure delight was etched across her face as she pet the mighty beast as if she were nothing more than a house cat. Aemond saw how excited she got when one of the many stray cats that roamed Flea Bottom ventured their way into the Keep.
The excited smile she wore now as she pet his dragon was the same one he saw when she would cradle those strays.
The thought made him laugh and he leaned in close to her, letting his head rest against hers.
Seeing her now, fearless by his mount’s side, only confirmed what he already knew.
She was meant to be with dragons. Meant to be with him.
~~
I will hopefully have the next chapter out within the next couple of days! And yes, every chapter is going to be long, I have no control. Hope you liked it xx
#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen fanfic#house of the dragon fic
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✰ pairing. — emo!hs x reader
✰ genre. — early 2000s au, best friend's older brother, childhood friends to lovers, smut, light angst.
✰ word count. — 7k+
✰ warnings. — swearing, family issues, partying, mentions of drinking/drugs, friendship betrayal (?), smut [virginity loss, teasing, fingering, soft dom!hs, "i've waited so long for this" type shit], reader and hs are both 18+, minors dni. very cliche shit. reader doesn’t know much abt sex tbh.
✰ synopsis. — Love notes were slipped into your locker on a daily basis. Variations of messy, boyish handwriting on yellow sticky notes stacked upon themselves by the end of each school day. Every Friday night you were invited out with the promise of, "You'll have fun, just give it a chance."
You could have any guy you wanted, no doubt about it. Yet somehow, the only one you do want is the tattooed, gothic one that lives a few doors down from your best friend.
✰ a/n. revamping this from my bts acc with heeseung this time bc im absolutely obsessed with this couple and need them to exist in every possible universe :P revamping part 2 as we speak and ill post in a few days hehe
✰ perm taglist. @intromortal @aanniikkaa @meetletsinmontauk @lovelyyf @right-person-wrong-time
———
Two monumental events had been etched into your brain for eternity, the first being sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet up with your friends at the community pool. The second is fifteen minutes upon arriving at the pool, seeing your best friend's older brother emerge from the chlorine-scented water as if he were Poseidon and realizing you were utterly infatuated by him.
Lee Chaeryeong isn't blind to this, immediately pulling you away from the crowd to question the longing gaze on your face. "Out of every fucking guy here with us, you're making eyes at my brother? You do know that Heeseung is completely gross, right?" She was so furious, you're surprised no steam was blowing from her ears.
Deny it all you want (and you certainly did within that fifteen-minute interrogation); Heeseung very clearly had a hold on you that lasted many years following that fateful night. He wasn't even your usual type; he wouldn't be caught dead around the guys you're typically drawn to. He had a rebellious side; maybe that's why getting him out of your head was nearly impossible.
Of course, the eternal guilt of falling for your best friend's older, dumbass brother is also difficult to get out of your head.
It can't be helped, really. Anytime you'd visit their home, your eyes would automatically wander through the crack of his doorway as you'd pass by. Whether he was messily cutting his dark hair while blasting Pierce the Veil from his speakers or giving himself a new Stick-and-Poke tattoo as he waited for a CD to finish burning, you long to break away from Chaeryeong for a moment to speak to him. Ask him about his day or if his band had any upcoming gigs. You'd even talk to him about paint drying if it meant you'd get to be in the same space as him.
So it's safe to say you were completely heartbroken when he left for college. Chaeryeong, however, is over the moon. Or so you think.
"… He's your brother, though. You don't think you're gonna miss him at all?" You ask, watching Chaeryeong delicately paint your fingernails a pretty shade of purple.
She shrugs, "I mean… it's definitely gonna be weird not seeing him around the house every day, but he'll still visit sometimes. Maybe."
Deep down, Chaeryeong knows Heeseung won't visit much. He'd been craving freedom and independence from their parents for ages, and moving away for college gave him the perfect opportunity to live as he pleased. They weren't fond of the clothes he wore or the friends he had, and absolutely couldn't bear the music his band makes. They criticized every little thing about him, and he'd finally be getting a break from them.
As you're about to ask Chaeryeong if she's okay, she stands from her bed, screwing the nail polish closed. "I'll be back. I have to let Bam out." Her voice is shaky, and she doesn't look at you as she exits the room.
You take the opportunity to make your way down the hall and to Heeseung's door, which he has conveniently left wide open as he scrolls on his desktop. His knees are pressed against his chest as he's heavily focused on editing his Facebook page. There's a rock song playing lightly from another tab that you can't quite identify; he uses his free hand to gently tap along to the beat of the music.
His room is covered in cardboard boxes, soon to be packed into his parents' minivan and making their way to the University of San Francisco dorms.
Your knuckles tap on his wooden door, your heart fluttering when he turns around, and you realize he's changed the ring on his lip from black to silver.
He nods at you, "What's up?"
"Nothing. I just know you're leaving in the morning, and I wanted to say bye. And wish you good luck, of course." You're not sure why you're so heartbroken. It's not like the two of you were ever a thing. It's not like this would be your last time seeing him. Why were you so upset?
"Cool, thanks." You assume that was his way of indirectly telling you to get out until he reaches into his desk drawer and says, "Catch," before tossing something towards you.
Careful not to mess up your manicure, you easily catch the item, unfolding what appears to be a purple bandanna. "What's this for?" You ask, inspecting the material in your palms.
"To remember me by, duh. Plus, it matches your nails.”
It'd be silly to tell him you genuinely don't need this because there was no way in hell you could ever forget about him. Instead, you clutch the bandana tightly in your fist and make a silent vow to keep it with you at all times; have a piece of him with you at all times.
You thank him and tell him it's nice, but all you can wonder is why he even wants you to remember him in the first place. Maybe you're overthinking. He probably just didn't care for the useless accessory anymore.
When you turn to leave, Heeseung stops you with a gentle call of your name. He turns his head in your direction, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything." You whisper back, praying you don't sound overly desperate for a more extended interaction with him.
A beat of silence passes, and just as he opens his mouth to respond, Chaeryeong is stomping up the stairs and belting out your name. You gaze away from Heeseung to glance behind you, listening as his sister shouts about doing each other's makeup.
"Never mind, actually. It's not important." Heeseung interrupts, and you physically feel your heart sink to the floor.
You're about to be annoying and pry a response out of him until your eyes dart to his floor, and you see it. What slipped out from his drawer when he tossed the bandana at you.
A condom wrapper. An empty one, at that.
It's embarrassing how quickly your vision becomes glossy, salty tears threatening to release with each passing second. Of course, he's fucking someone. Of course, that person isn't you. Of fucking course.
You shouldn't be surprised; he's probably more into girls with a similar aesthetic. She's probably covered in tattoos and piercings, just like him. She's probably older than you and may even have her own car, unlike you, who still had to catch rides with your parents or older sister.
It's odd, though. You're not entirely naive; you know Heeseung definitely flirts with you here and there, catching his eye when his gaze lingers on you for a second too long. There's a noticeable tension between the two of you that even your parents have teased about. And this whole time, he's been screwing someone else?
Heeseung hangs out with so many girls it'd be useless to even attempt to uncover who this mystery person is. It's none of your business, anyway.
So you leave.
You tell Chaeryeong you'll get grounded if you're home past curfew, and with tear-stained cheeks, you run home.
The following day isn't any easier.
Chaeryeong posted a photo on FaceBook of herself and Heeseung posing together, arms wrapped around each other, with the caption "c u l8r alligator XD". The comments are already flooded with responses wishing Heeseung farewell, some from family members or friends of the siblings.
"Don't 4get abt me!!!!!! >:( "from a girl with red hair catches your eye because it's the only one Heeseung responded to. You can't bring yourself to read his full reply, fingers moving to quickly close the tab after seeing the word 'Never.'
It's probably her, you think to yourself, the one he's sleeping with.
Maybe it's for the best that Heeseung's moving away; it'll give you some time to get over him.
And you most certainly did.
The only time he ever crosses your mind is when Chaeryeong brings him up (which she rarely does) or when you pass by his empty bedroom. Deep down, you know you'll always care for Heeseung on some level, but time away from him was just what you needed. You were too attached to him for no fathomable reason, rejecting any guy interested in you with the premise of being loyal to a guy who didn't even want you. He'd probably been sneaking girls in through his window, with you a few doors down doing magazine quizzes with his sister; blissfully unaware of what was happening down the hall.
You’re better off without him.
That's what you've been telling yourself daily until now. It's the start of summer vacation, and Heeseung's been summoned home to spend it with his family before Chaeryeong (and you) transfer to the University of San Francisco.
Heeseung was hesitant about coming home, as he always is. In constant fear that his parents have some elaborate plan for him to change his major or set him up with someone they deem acceptable, nothing like the girls he hangs around and probably invites back to his dorm.
It took days of convincing until Heeseung finally agreed to come home, under the premise that his parents' intentions were pure and that they simply wanted one last summer together before Chaeryeong moved away for college. They also hoped he'd be able to house-sit and watch over Chaeryeong for a few days as they took their annual anniversary trip to San Diego. That, however, took some bribing and the promise of gas money on their end.
He's not due to arrive until tomorrow morning, and you've convinced yourself there's no reason for you to see him right away. You'd be fine if the next time you saw him was in a few months as you're moving into your dorm. After years of longing, you've finally moved on from him.
Some of you have debated telling Chaeryeong about your past feelings for her brother, but there's no point. It was a one-sided relationship with absolutely zero depth, nothing worth discussing. So when she nudges your side and asks if you're interested in anyone, you reply with a shake of your head.
Chaeryeong has no reaction to this; she can't remember the last time you've been into anyone despite having the entire male population at your school practically throwing themselves at you. "Maybe you'll meet someone tonight."
She's referencing the house party you're going to, which she practically had to drag you out of your room to attend. Parties are different from your scene, especially on a day like today when you were hoping to have a girls' night with Chaeryeong. She had other plans, however.
"Maybe," you respond, sighing as the house you're attending is finally in your viewpoint. "We're not staying long, right? It looks packed."
Cars are parked throughout the street, one house, in particular, being the center of attention with loud music and drunk people decorating the front yard of a suburban-looking home. Chaeryeong looks as ecstatic as ever, looping her arm in yours and picking up her pace. She doesn't respond. It doesn't matter. Her response would've disregarded your concern.
One car catches your eye as you enter the unfamiliar house; it's parked towards the end of the street, and you swear you've been in it before. You're not able to dwell on it for too long, though, because Chaeryeong has to practically yank you through the front door.
Your nerves are at an all-time high. The music is entirely too loud, and there isn't a single sober person in sight. You're not sure how Chaeryeong even found out about this party, but you really wish she would've left you out of it. You'd go now if it were acceptable, but Chaeryeong would've stayed regardless, and you refuse to leave her alone. So, you push your feelings to the side and take her hand as she leads you towards the kitchen.
"Thirsty?" Chaeryeong questions, forcing a red solo cup into your hand.
"Not at all," you respond, sighing as Chaeryeong pours something into your cup.
"It's just ginger ale," she reassures you, "I don't think either of us should get drunk here." For once, she's being reasonable.
Chaeryeong suggests you do a lap around the house in hopes of running into people you may have gone to school with. And to your surprise, a decent amount of your past classmates have decided to attend. You feel more at ease with them around, a bit more comfortable now that you're around recognizable people. Although you initially hesitated to show up, you're glad you did.
"Anybody catch your eye yet? Or are you still breaking hearts?" Your old classmate, Yeoreum, questions.
You shake your head, about to explain that you're not interested in dating right now, until she gestures behind you. "That guy is pretty cute."
You shift on the couch, looking around until you spot who Yeoreum had been gesturing towards. You locate him finally, and she's right; he is cute. He just seems so familiar.
That's when it hits you.
"Oh my God," you whisper, eyes locked on him, and you slowly rise from the couch.
It's Heeseung. And the car you recognized was his. He's here. What is he doing here? He isn't due to be back until tomorrow morning.
You almost don't realize it's him until you spot the mole under his lip. He's grown his hair out and stopped dyeing it, the slew of tattoos that decorated his arm (God, did he start working out, too?) nicely connected, now creating a sleeve, and he's given himself an eyebrow piercing. Your feelings for him come rushing back in full force.
Panicked, you reach for Chaeryeong's hand, but she's nowhere to be found. Careful not to be seen by her brother, you bow your head slightly, passing through a crowd of sweaty bodies until you finally spot her kitty heels. She's leaned against a wall, swirling around her cup while flirting with some guy you'd seen around school a few times.
Creating some much-needed distance between the two, you tug Chaeryeong towards you. "I think I just saw your brother."
"What? No, he won't even be in the city until tomorrow morning."
Frustrated, you quickly search the crowd until your eyes land on him again. You ignore the fact that he's now speaking to some girl with red hair and tattoos scattered across her arm and point in their direction, "Well, then that guy looks just like him."
Chaeryeong squints her eyes in disbelief at the boy in question until the doubt becomes confusion, and the confusion becomes realization. "Oh my God! The fuck is he doing here?" She turns towards you as if you're supposed to have the answer.
"The fuck should I know? You said he wouldn't be here until tomorrow morning!"
"Because that's what he told our parents! How was I supposed to know he was gonna be here? I never would've come if I knew!"
"What are you guys doing here?" A voice you haven't heard in so long interrupts. You don't even want to turn around.
"What are you doing here?" Chaeryeong throws back, and the two stare at each other in angry silence for a moment until Heeseung steps to the side. "Upstairs," he says, nodding towards the staircase.
"But—"
"Go."
Chaeryeong's clearly aggravated but makes her way towards the stairs. You remain in place with your arms crossed, raising a brow in confusion when Heeseung looks at you. "What?"
"You too."
"I'm not—"
"I'm not asking again," he says simply. You convince yourself that you only take his command because you don't feel like fighting. Definitely not because it's interesting to have him boss you around.
Trudging up the stairs behind Chaeryeong, you wait with her in the hallway until Heeseung arrives. "Come on," he says, entering a bathroom and turning the light on. Neither you nor Chaeryeong protest; there really isn't any point.
As soon as the door is shut, Chaeryeong is yelling at the top of her lungs. "What the fuck are you doing here?! You said you wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning! Mom and Dad had to push their trip back just to give you more time to arrive, and you're already fucking here?! The fuck is the matter with you?!"
"I'm not gonna respond if you're gonna be yelling like this." Heeseung says calmly, leaning against the sink, "Let me get my questions out first, then I'll answer any of yours, deal?"
Chaeryeong glances over at you, sitting on the bathtub's edge, and you nod. She returns her attention back to Heeseung, takes a deep breath, then agrees.
"Now, what are you guys doing here?! How'd you even get invited?! And you're drinking?!" The calm demeanor from earlier slips away in a matter of seconds, clearly a hoax just to get Chaeryeong to calm down enough to let him speak.
"It's just ginger ale, and we've barely even had any! We were invited by our friends, okay? We have just as much right to be here as you do."
Heeseung scoffs, clearly unamused. "Right, and I'm assuming Mom and Dad know you're here then, huh?"
Chaeryeong nervously tucks a hair behind her ear. You wonder why you even have to be in here with them. It's not like Heeseung is your brother, anyway.
"We told our parents that we were going to a birthday party at a friend's house." Chaeryeong mumbles, barely able to look Heeseung in the eye.
"And what did they say when they dropped you guys off?"
"They didn't drop us off," you interrupt, "we walked here."
"Well, I wasn't gonna tell him that." Chaeryeong glares at you, it takes every bone in your body to not to laugh at her.
You're so over this. You didn't want to attend this dumb party in the first place, and seeing Heeseung flirting with some girl who could've been his female counterpart was the icing on the cake. It doesn't matter if your feelings for him were gone before tonight; every little emotion you'd felt for him over the years had returned (as if they ever left).
"And how exactly did you two geniuses plan on getting home?"
"Same way we got here."
"Can you please just let me handle this? Jesus Christ…" Chaeryeong shoots another frustrated glare at you, and you can't help but roll your eyes at her. She turns back towards her brother, "Can you answer my questions now?"
Heeseung's eyes anxiously dart around the cramped bathroom, landing on you a few times before he's slowly nodding his head. "Alright, Mom and Dad basically forced me to spend the whole summer here, and I kept asking myself why they were so persistent about it. They finally told me they needed me to watch over you and the house for their stupid trip. I had plans too, you know? That I had to derail for them. My band could've spent this summer touring, making real money, and now we can't. So, they wanna inconvenience me? I'll inconvenience them right back."
"…Inconvenience them by doing what?" Chaeryeong asks the exact question you had.
Heeseung shrugs, "By telling them I'm gonna be arriving a day late, duh."
You and Chaeryeong exchange an awkward glance at one other before silently agreeing not to tease him about it. If this was his badass way of retaliating, who were you to rain on his parade?
"Are you gonna tell anyone you saw us here?" Chaeryeong questions, a noticible tremble in her voice.
"As long as you guys don't tell anyone you saw me."
It's a fair trade, you accept it. You're even more delighted when Heeseung says he's taking the two of you home. Chaeryeong, however, isn't too happy about this, claiming there were so many people she didn't get to speak to, and how'd this be the last time she'd get to see them before moving away for school. You're not sure if Chaeryeong is really good at getting what she wants, or if Heeseung was tired of hearing her complain, but he finally gives in and grants her ten more minutes to socialize before meeting him at his car.
"If you're not at my car in ten minutes, I swear to God I'm calling mom." Heeseung scolds, holding the bathroom door open as the three of you finally exit.
A loud, drunk voice suddenly shouts, "Woah, Heeseung! Two girls at the same time!? You fucking beast!"
"They're my sisters, you fucking pervert!" He shouts back.
You can't even dwell on how disgusting the original comment was, only being able to focus on the fact that Heeseung just referred to you as his sister. As conceited as it may sound, you're not used to rejection or guys putting you in the friend-zone. Whatever little game Heeseung had been playing with you over the years was completely new territory. And right when you think things couldn't possibly get any worse, he calls you his sister.
What the actual fuck.
—
The next ten minutes go by in a blur; Chaeryeong has ditched you for a second time that night to talk to the guy from earlier. When it's finally time to leave, you find her Sat on his lap with her arm hung across his shoulder, laughing at an unfunny pickup line he'd used on her.
"It's time, Chaeryeong," you interrupt, helping her stand.
"Wait, wait, wait," she persists, directing her attention back to the boy, "tomorrow at five, right?"
"And not a second later." He sends her a disgusting wink that makes your skin crawl.
Chaeryeong is so love-struck you're surprised there isn't an arrow lodged in her back. She can barely form a proper sentence, erupting into a fit of giggles every few seconds as you make your way to Heeseung's car. "Wasn't he just gorgeous?"
You shrug, linking arms with her. "He was alright."
Stunned, Chaeryeong gasps at you, "Just alright? He was literally like a Greek God."
"I'm not saying he's unattractive; he's just...not really my type."
"And what is your type, Miss. Never-Has-Been-Interested-In-Anyone?"
Now, there's the question of the hour. You have to word your response very carefully; don't be too obvious about the fact that your ideal type is her older sibling.
"I guess I prefer guys with an edgier look to them, you know? Tattoos, piercings..." Despite your attempt to sound as nonchalant as possible, your heart is beating out of your chest from the mild confession.
Chaeryeong snickers, then playfully groans. "It sounds like you're describing my brother."
Now, you really have to test the waters.
"Since you brought him up, would it be so bad if I did like Heeseung? Hypothetically speaking, of course." You're not sure what prompts you to even ask this. It's not like he's even interested in you; he literally just referred to you as his sister.
A beat of silence passes as Chaeryeong gathers her thoughts, then she says, "No."
"What?"
You've finally reached Heeseung's car at this point, beating him there. You sit atop the trunk, feet hovering above the ground as the cold, nighttime air swirls around you. Chaeryeong shakes her head, "Obviously, it wouldn't be the ideal situation, but I guess I wouldn't mind as long as you talked to me about it first."
"First?" You mimic.
"Like...assuming you'd wanna date him or something. Just so I'm not blindsided, you know?"
This is the last thing you would've expected your impulsive, hotheaded (yet oh-so-loveable) best friend to be reasonable about. Mainly because she lectured you for nearly twenty minutes when she first suspected you had a crush on Heeseung.
You go to respond, but Heeseung, finally arriving at the car, captivates both of your attention. He finishes off his can of Pepsi before crushing the aluminum and tossing it to the ground. "Ready?" He questions.
There's no point in giving him a speech about littering; you're just ready to go home.
He fishes his keys from his pocket and unlocks the car door; Chaeryeong opens the backseat and jumps in before you have the chance, sprawling across the aged leather. "Move over," you nudge her foot with your knee; she pulls away from you.
Heeseung calls your name, "Just sit up front. She's not gonna move."
Now, this is new. You've ridden in the backseat of his car with Chaeryeong more times than you can count; he'd never allow either of you to sit shotgun with him; typical annoying older brother bullshit.
Don't make a big deal out of this, you say to yourself, climbing into the passenger seat of his car.
Chaeryeong and Heeseung bicker the entire ride to their parent's house, partially out of annoyance with each other, but you also get the feeling that neither of them were genuinely ready to leave the party. You're surprised Heeseung even enjoyed parties; he spent most of high school either working, hanging out at skate parks, or practicing with his band in their garage. College must've really changed him, and you're unsure how to feel about it.
Heeseung parks a few houses down from their parent's house and unlocks the doors, "Get out," he says into the backseat.
"Where are you gonna spend the night?" Chaeryeong questions, stretching her arms outward.
"I checked into a motel this morning. I'll be back here tomorrow around noon. And, hey," Heeseung turns around, pointing a finger at his sister. "Don't tell them you saw me."
Mockingly, Chaeryeong points a finger right back at him. "Telling them I saw you would be exposing myself, cock-sucker. Leave me alone." She angrily begins to climb out of the car, annoyed at how little trust Heeseung had in her.
You turn to go, but Heeseung's cold hand on your bicep stops you, "Where you goin'?"
"I'm gonna walk home from here. It's only a few minutes away," you respond.
Heeseung shakes his head, "I'm dropping you off. You haven't moved since I left, right?"
"No, but it's fi—"
"Then your house is on the way to my motel. We're going in the same direction; might as well ride together."
It truly does make more sense to ride together, and rejecting his offer any further surely would raise suspicions. You don't want either of them to believe you'd feel uncomfortable being alone with Heeseung because that couldn't be farther from the truth. You're perplexed about your feelings now, and you don't want to do anything you'd regret just because of the confusion.
"Okay, then." You glance over your shoulder at Chaeryeong, "Will you need any help getting ready for your date tomorrow?"
Suddenly embarrassed, Chaeryeong shushes you, gesturing that Heeseung is literally right next to you and would prefer that he didn't hear about her dating life. Heeseung genuinely couldn't care less and is instead patiently waiting for his sister to get out.
She does finally, and Heeseung resumes his path to your house. He turns the radio on, switching between stations until he stops on one that's playing a song he's familiar with. You drive silently for a few minutes; the only sounds being heard are the distant noises from the car's motor and Heeseung humming along to the radio.
He breaks the silence by saying, "I was surprised to see you back there. You never really seemed like the type to enjoy parties."
You chuckle, "I could say the same for you; I don't remember you attending any in high school."
"That's 'cause house parties weren't my thing," he explains, "I went to raves or parties that would happen at the skate park. I don't really like being at someone else's house for too long; it feels too intimate."
Now that you think of it, skate park parties and raves seem much more like his scene.
"Well, I only went because Chaeryeong was going, and I didn't feel comfortable with her being there alone. Otherwise, I never would've gone." You admit, resting your head against the window.
"Thanks for looking after her, by the way. You're a good friend."
"I'd do anything for her." Your voice is barely a whisper now, getting quieter with every word you say.
Silence passes, and he says, "Did you know your guys' dorm room is gonna be right under ours?"
"Seriously?" You respond, genuinely curious.
"Mmm-hmm. My roommate, Sunghoon, and I are gonna be the worst upstairs neighbors ever." He teases as you roll your eyes. Your mind can't decipher whether this banter is playful & platonic or romantic. Everything Heeseung does confuses you.
"If that's the case, I'll be sure to move to an entirely new building."
"What, so you can have your boyfriend protect you?"
Pause. Boyfriend?
You nearly give yourself whiplash from how hard you spun around to look at Heeseung. "Boyfriend?" You ask.
He shrugs nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on the road. "I just assumed you'd have one by now. Do you?"
There he is again with his mind games. What the fuck was he talking about?
After letting out a very frustrated sigh, you mumble, "No, Heeseung, I do not have a boyfriend."
"Good. Focus on school."
Now he's pissing you off. You wish he'd shut up for the rest of the car ride. "It's nice to see you again, by the way."
Holy shit, you feel like jumping out the window.
"Yeah, great seeing you too. Oh, there's my house. I can walk from here." You make quick work of undoing your seatbelt.
"You sure? I can drop you off at the door."
"No, no. It's best if my parents don't see you so they don't accidentally tell your parents that they saw you." You lie, racking your brain for any excuse imaginable.
He nods, deciding it's best to drop you off a little further from your house. "Then, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"What?" You stop dead in your tracks, one hand clutching the door handle.
"Aren't you coming over tomorrow to help Chaeryeong get ready for her…thing? I'll be back home by then."
He's right; you'd be back in his house, and he'll be there this time. It's no big deal. You'd only be there for an hour (at most) to help her prepare, and then you could go the whole summer without seeing him again.
"Yeah, I'll see you then."
The following day, Chaeryeong is back to her unreasonable self, expecting you to wait at her house for her to return from her date.
"Please? We're just going to get pizza; we won't even be gone that long." She pleads, adding the finishing touches to her makeup.
You'd already spent over an hour helping her prepare, and now she expects you to do nothing but await her return. You know her heart's in the right place; she just wants to be the first to hear all the exhilarating details about her date. Still, a phone call would suffice.
"What am I supposed to do while I wait for you to come back?" You whine.
"Just hang out here! Watch a movie or something!" She suggests, trying her absolutely hardest to sound enthusiastic. Her phone buzzes in her hand before she has the chance to continue, eyes lighting up as they flicker across the bright screen.
Chaeryeong clutches her phone, locks eyes with you, then rushes towards the door. You're faster, though, quickly capturing her wrist before she's barely reached the hallway. "I'm going home."
"No! If you stay here, I'll bring you back pizza, and we can have a girls' night like we were supposed to yesterday! Come on, please?" She begs, pouting her lips.
You go to reply, but the bathroom door swings open, and Heeseung strides out. Just to your luck, he's shirtless; water droplets descend from his hair as he towel-dries it. As he enters his bedroom, he mocks his sister's high-pitched whine, earning a lethal glare and a slew of swears thrown at him.
Perhaps you should stay.
"Fine, but you're lending me your pajamas." You give in, earning an enthusiastic shriek from your best friend.
Chaeryeong wraps you in a brief, yet tight, hug before shouting, "Be back soon!" Then she's rushing down the stairs and out the front door. It's not often that Chaeryeong makes you wait for her return, but you absolutely despise it whenever it does occur. She's never back by the time she promises and gets upset when you try to call and check up on her.
And speaking of calling, you're sure your phone is dead by now. You insisted Chaeryeong bring her's along just in case, so you're left with one option.
Heeseung's door is wide open (as usual) when you go to knock. He's fully clothed now, pairing his black sweatpants with a matching black t-shirt. His hair appears mostly dry now, chaotic as ever, but dry. You don't think he's ever looked this good before.
He's sat on his bed, flipping through the latest copy of Rolling Stone when you arrive. He glances over at you and lets out a dry chuckle.
"What's so funny?" You ask.
"You're dressed like Bella Swan." He responds casually, eyes raking up and down your body.
"Who?"
"From Twilight. You know, that new movie that came out?" He seems genuinely surprised that you don't seem to know anything about this movie, not even the name of (who you suspect to be) the main character.
You lean against the doorframe, "Haven't seen it."
"It's a great movie, seriously. Some friends and I are seeing it in a few days if you and Chaeryeong wanna come." He suggests, flipping another page in the magazine.
You let him know you'll ask Chaeryeong if she's interested before remembering why you came to his room in the first place and ask if you can borrow his phone charger. Heeseung directs you to where it's plugged up by his desk, and you finally have the chance to stroll further into his room. You can't recall the last time you've been in here, but you know it looks much different than before. Many of the band posters that decorated the room were gone, his random trinkets and piles of clothes were gone, and not a single piece of his CD collection was in sight. It felt so lifeless, so unlike him. No wonder he always dreaded returning home; it probably didn't even feel like home to him.
"So," you say, attempting to break the silence, "you're here for the whole summer, huh?"
"Unfortunately." He mumbles, "Gonna try and go by sooner, convince my parents I have to sort out an issue with my dorm or something."
"It's nice to have you back, though." You admit, watching as Heeseung's gaze locks on yours.
"Yeah? It is?" He questions.
You shrug, "Of course. We practically grew up together; it was weird to not see you all the time."
He sits up now, closing the magazine and tossing it on his nightstand. There's something on his mind that he isn't saying; you can tell from the way his brows knit together and how he's anxiously tugging on his lip piercing. "It was weird to be gone," he mumbles and leaves it at that.
"By the way, I'm sorry about last night." He apologizes.
"For what? Calling me your sister?"
He laughs at this, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to do that on purpose, by the way. That guy was just...so weird, I kinda blurted out the first thing that would've made him feel weird for even thinking that."
Oh. That makes sense. You definitely overreacted.
"I meant," he continues, "I'm sorry if the whole boyfriend assumption thing upset you."
"Oh," you dismissively wave a hand at him, "that was nothing."
Heeseung raises a brow at you, "Are you sure? 'Cause you seemed pretty upset afterward, you were practically running out of my car."
There's no point in lying now, considering you weren't even the slightest bit discrete the previous night.
"If I'm being completely honest, I just felt a little awkward. But that's it, I swear." You assure him, moving to lean against the bedside table.
"Awkward about what?"
God, this was so embarrassing. Is he really going to make you humiliate yourself like this?
"Because I've never actually had a boyfriend before."
Heeseung looks genuinely shocked at your confession, eyes nearly bulging out of his head as he examines yours for any sign of deception. "You don't believe me?"
"I'm not sure. I only assumed you had one just based on how crazy guys were about you in high school. Not to mention you're, like, fucking gorgeous."
What?
"I'm what?" You ask, not entirely sure if you heard him correctly.
He repeats himself again, and you make him do it a few more times until he's too embarrassed to say it again. You somehow manage to get back on the topic of never having a boyfriend before when Heeseung asks you another question. "Have you ever...?"
He doesn't need to finish the sentence. You know what he's asking.
You shake your head.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business." He berates himself, and you assure him it's no big deal and that it shouldn't even be a shocker to him.
After a half hour of talking about whatever comes to mind, you wind up sitting opposite Heeseung on his bed, legs perched up underneath your body as you go back and forth, questioning one another.
"So, when are you gonna admit you had a crush on me?" His voice is barely a whisper.
"I never did." You lie.
"Really? That sucks?"
"Why?"
He shrugs, leaning his back against the headboard. "I just always thought that maybe you and I would've ended up together at some point."
You don't remember who leans in first; it doesn't matter; all that matters is after years of longing, your lips are finally intertwined with his. He must've smoked today; you can taste the nicotine on his breath. But it doesn't matter; you don't make the slightest move to pull away. Neither does he, placing his hands on the small of your back to guide you onto his lap.
Your body is moving on autopilot, limbs moving to do whatever feels right as you silently pray not to ruin the moment. Heeseung can spot your nervousness from a mile away and stop you, "We don't have to do—"
"I want to," you pant, breathless, "I've wanted this for so long."
"Do you trust me?" He asks.
"More than anything."
He kisses you again before adjusting your current position, slowly twisting yourselves until you're lying flat on your back. He moves his lips down towards your neck, leaving a trail of kisses in his path as he settles between your legs.
You reach up to grab a handful of his hair, nearly jumping out of your skin as his delicate fingertips creep up your inner thigh, inching closer and closer until his ghosting over your clothed pussy. "This okay?" He mumbles.
You nod, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Cute," he replies, "you're already so wet." His fingertips stroke your clit through your damp underwear; you don't think to wonder how he managed to get to it so quickly, all thoughts leaving your brain as he makes small circles using his middle and index finger.
"Heeseung…" You moan, pleading for him to do more.
"I know." He assures you, using a single finger to pull your panties to the side, making just enough room for him to slide a finger into your aching cunt. "Am I really your first time?"
You nod again out of fear that a moan would slip from your lips if you even tried to speak. His eyes are locked on yours, studying your expression as he coaxes a finger inside you. You're embarrassed at how quickly your wetness coated his finger, but Heeseung doesn't care. He likes it, makes him feel fucking amazing knowing the effect he had on you.
"Take your shirt off." He says, and you do as told, pulling your top up and off your body and tossing it to the floor; making quick work of undoing your bra before he even has the chance to ask.
His lips are back on your neck instantly, trailing down to your collarbone until he reaches the curve on your breast. He halts his actions momentarily before your pitched nipple is caught between his teeth and your back arching off the bed from how overstimulating everything feels.
You curse under your breath, and Heeseung makes another comment about how cute you are, though you feel far from it. He apologizes by lapping his tongue around your nipple, easing the pain slowly as he inserts a second finger into your cunt.
You can feel his bulge against your thigh, though he doesn't even care about getting himself off. He moves over to your nipple, licking and sucking until it's completely hardened, leaving himself breathless. The two fingers that had been working your cunt had picked up the pace now, and there was an unfamiliar feeling in your gut that you couldn't identify.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" You groan, legs trembling.
Heeseung is all too familiar with these actions and asks, "You're already close? I've barely done anything to you." He teases, chuckling to himself.
You know he's being lighthearted, but you can't help but feel embarrassed at the tears forming in your eyes from how good everything feels.
Suddenly, he's pulling his fingers out of you, and now you feel like crying for a different reason. You go to protest but stop to watch as he takes his shirt off. If you weren't sure then, it's obvious now he'd started attending the gym.
He makes quick work of tugging his sweatpants down his legs, tossing them into the abyss before reaching into his bedside table and retrieving a condom. "You're okay?"
You nod.
"Use your words."
“I’m okay, Heeseung.”
"You're still okay with this?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
Jesus fucking Christ, the saint this man is.
"I'm positive." You assure him.
You move to pull down your skirt and underwear, but Heeseung catches your wrist. "Leave them on," he says. There are so many things going on that you choose not to question.
He pulls off his boxers in the meantime, hardened cock slapping against his abdomen with precum leaking from the tip. Though you had nothing to compare it to, Heeseung was obviously slightly larger than average. You shouldn't be surprised; it's always the guys that you'd least expect.
He tears the condom wrapper with his teeth, retrieving the rubber inside before tossing the remains to his floor. Despite being fully erect, he fists his cock a few times before sliding the condom on.
He crawls over you, left arm at the side of his head, while he uses his dick to nudge your panties to the side. "This still okay?"
"I already told you—fuck!" He cuts you off, the tip of his cock slowly making its way inside you. You feel so stretched out from this alone you don't know how you'd manage to fit all of him into you.
Heeseung must be feeling the same, swearing under his breath and commenting about how tight you feel around him. Second by second, he coaxes himself into your pussy until you feel like you could split right open. "Are you all the way in?"
"No, can't take anymore?" He asks, leaning his head down against your ear.
You're embarrassed to admit he's too big to handle on your first time, but it's the truth. You don't want to overextend yourself just to please him and end up hurting yourself.
"You can move, just…not too much. Please."
Heeseung nods, "Whatever you want, angel."
He pulls his hips back and rocks himself back in, being sure to ask if you're okay with his pace. Once you confirm you feel fine and want him to keep going, he continues his movements; his eager hips snapping against yours and his cock hitting your G-spot with each deep stroke. You feel like you're on cloud nine, hands tangled in his hair as he swallows your moans.
That unfamiliar feeling from earlier returns; you feel it through your entire body this time. A moan of his name escaping your lips lets him know you're close. How he can always sense these things is beyond you; it's not worth overthinking.
"Close?" He asks, and you nod frantically.
Heeseung picks up his speed slightly, careful not to overwhelm you, but just enough to reach your climax, until finally, the bundle of nerves in your abdomen snaps, and your back is arching off the mattress as you come around his cock.
He's only a few seconds behind with his orgasm, erupting in a loud grunt when he finally reaches it. The two of you lay in silence for a moment before Heeseung finally pulls out of you and slides the condom off, tying it in a knot and tossing it into his trash bin.
"Are you okay?" He asks for what feels like the millionth time.
"I'm fine." You respond, and it isn't a lie. Physically, you feel terrific; mentally, it was an entirely different story. "Are you?"
"I'm good, I'm good."
As much as you would love to lay naked with Heeseung in his bed for the rest of the night, you know Chaeryeong will be home anytime soon. "I think I'm gonna go wash up."
He nods, crawling under his covers once you stand from his bed, tugging your skirt to its proper length as you search for your remaining clothing. "Oh, it's um…your shirt, it's over there." Heeseung awkwardly gestures towards a pile of clothing by the end of his bed.
Almost as quickly as you shred yourself of them, you snatch your clothing and bundle them up against your chest.
"Listen, I know right now isn't really ideal, but I meant what I said about liking you, and really think we should talk." He says nervously, barely even able to look at you.
You almost want to laugh at how cute he is; instead, you agree to talk to him about it soon. You're about to head out into the hallway when Heeseung reminds you about your charging phone over by his desk.
You retrieve it and scan the area again, ensuring you haven't left anything else behind. When everything seems clear, you stand upright, but your eyes fall toward the trash bin near his window with the discarded condom. You're embarrassed to even look at it until you realize something seems off. It looks…empty.
Now, you're no sex expert, but imagine that if Heeseung had finished, there'd be something to show for it in the condom. Right?
Did he fake his orgasm? Was this another one of his fucked up mind games you'd been subjected to?
You don't know what to think as you step into the bathroom; your emotions are all over the place, and all you really want to do is go home. But you promised Chaeryeong you'd be here when she returns, so you stay.
The next time a Lee sibling asks if you're okay is twenty minutes later when Chaeryeong finally arrives and asks why your eyes are so watery.
"I'm fine." You respond, and you're lying for the first time that night.
#enhypen smut#enhypen#lee heeseung#heeseung smut#enhypen imagine#heeseung imagine#lee heeseung smut#enhypen scenario#heeseung scenarios#kpop smut#kpop imagine#kpop scencario#heeseung x reader#enhypen x reader
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˖˙ ᰋ ── hyunjin messes up and kkami helps him apologize
﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: fluff (might be the cutest thing i wrote recently)
﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: this is definitely inspired by the new book i'm obsessing over right now so pls enjoy and let me know what you think!! <33
“Well, well, look who finally remembered he has a loving partner missing him at home.”
You hear Hyunjin sigh on the other end, sheepish, obviously expecting you’d cut him some slack for disappearing for days, like talking to him wasn’t the best part of your day. Touring was hard, and he’s been insanely busy from day one – you get it. That’s why, your tone’s more playful than intended, only being able to let the phone ring for two heartbeats before rushing to answer and let his velvety voice bring sunshine back into your dull life.
“Hello, the absolute love of my life I think about daily.” He clears his throat, brushing over your comment in hopes you’re not truly upset he hasn’t called in so long. Two days weren’t a big deal, but for clingy people like you and him, going 48 hours without hearing what the other has been up to was torture. It was just enough time for insecurity to creep in, feeding you lies upon lies about how he’d forgotten your relationship and was currently in the process of replacing you with someone else, someone better and more worthy of owning his heart.
Your heart flutters, a grin finding its way onto features despite your attempts at stopping it. “Hello, Hyunjin.”
“Who the fuck is Hyunjin?”
No longer able to keep the happiness at bay, you burst out laughing, the aggravation clear as day in the absence of his usual pet name. Hyunjin was your baby, nothing else. His name only ever left your pretty lips you couldn’t wait to press against his only when the situation called for seriousness.
Settling down, you ignore his displeased huffing. “The guy who hasn’t called me in a week. You might know him.”
You’re teasing. You both know it, just like he knows that behind your words, the only genuine thing is the longing and the wish to have him close again, missing the steady beat of his heart and his familiar warmth that usually lulled you to sleep, badly. Hyunjin has always been great at reading between the lines, figuring you out easily, like you were nothing more than an unchallenging puzzle he could solve with his eyes closed.
“A week? I know I messed up, love, but it’s only been two days. Not even, just about 45 hours.” You hear sheets rustling on the other end, helping you picture him lounging about in the hotel bed, hair most likely still damp from his previous shower. For once, the time difference was not absurd, allowing you to stare wistfully at the moon with certainty the other was doing the same, sharing stories of your love and trusting she’ll keep them safe.
“You counted?” You giggle, making yourself more comfortable on the couch, right next to Kkami who is sleeping soundly.
“I’ve been counting the hours until I can see you again the second I stepped outside our apartment.” He confesses, voice suddenly heavy with emotion before he gasps, ruining what could have been a sweet moment. “You’re telling me you haven’t?”
Of course, you have. Time seemed to go by incredibly slowly whenever he wasn’t near, the increasing distance causing his magnetic pull to grow weaker each day, but never diminishing, never losing its hold on you. That was impossible.
“No.” You lie blatantly, leaning back against the couch casually, one hand moving to slowly pet Kkami’s head whose slumber gave him the perfect excuse to ignore you.
“Liar.”
For the first time in your life, the fact that he knew you like the back of his hand was annoying.
“Don’t change the subject! You’re still not in the clear for forgetting about me for two whole days, Hyunjin.” You’re not actually mad, just feeling a little bit neglected. Hyunjin has never gone MIA like that, without even texting you brief updates throughout the day just so you’ll know he was still alive and kicking. Your boyfriend was thoughtful, sweet, and considerate – the radio silence you got for the past two days was very unlike him.
“I didn’t forget.” He counters, and you’re sure he’s shaking his head vehemently, denying all of your accusations. “I could never forget, not in this lifetime or any others.”
“Liar.” You mock him, making a face he can’t see and tease you about like he’d usually do. “You could have texted, at least. Let me know you’d be busy.”
“I’m sorry, love.” His voice is soft, apology genuine as can be when he doesn’t try to justify himself or find excuses. Hyunjin is aware that if the roles were reversed, he’d feel the same way you’re feeling right now, the anxiety and worry eating at him from the inside and leaving behind a restlessness he couldn’t shake off no matter how hard he tried to. And he does, to an extent. Not being able to contact you drove him on the brink of insanity, making him moodier and more difficult to work it, which was so unlike him.
“Can I talk to Kkami?” He adds, trying to make it up to you in his own, creative way you’ve come to love.
“What?” You can’t help but laugh, not sure you heard him right.
“Pass the phone to Kkami for a moment, please?”
Now you’re curious, wondering what that beautiful mind had in store for you this time. You’ve been dog-sitting Kkami since he left, sending him regular updates in hopes of brightening up his day and keeping the homesickness at bay. Your camera roll has been full of pictures and videos of Kkami - walking him, playing together and being cute just for Hyunjin’s delight. A small price to ensure your boyfriend’s everlasting happiness.
“Should I leave you two alone? Give you some privacy?”
He laughs, and you hear the sound of a bag zipping up. “Yes. This is just between us boys, sorry baby.”
Shaking your head with a smile, you do as he asks, lowering the phone close to Kkami’s ear like the pup could actually catch Hyunjin up on what’s been happening around the house since he left. At the sound of his owner’s voice, Kkami’s eyes open as his ears perk up, visibly excited to hear him after so long. With his tail waggling, Kkami listens attentively to whatever Hyunjin is telling him, sleep long forgotten as you start giggling next to him, not believing your eyes.
Kkami was not an affectionate dog, often biting or growling at your lover like he was sick of him. Hyunjin’s presence and fussing were a bore, the dog quickly growing tired of his excited nature, even though your boyfriend was the person he loved most in the world.
That’s exactly why, you’re taken aback when he sprints off the couch, running a lap around the living room before returning to jump at your feet, barking and licking the hand closest to him excitedly.
Dumbfounded, you bring the phone back to your ear laughing. “What did you say to him? He’s suddenly so happy to see me.”
“He’s groveling in my stead. I told him to show you how much I miss you.”
Your heart melts, and suddenly he’s all forgiven as tears well up in your eyes. “Hyun…”
“Actually, I asked him if he wanted a treat.” Your tears get absorbed right back as a laugh bubbles out of the both of you, with Kkami jumping into your lap to beg properly. “I guess he figured I wasn’t there to give him some, so now he expects them from you.”
“You set me up.” You say, voice laced with playfulness as you stand up, scooping Kkami with one hand to fulfill his request. A true glutton, he’d never forgive you if you denied him his beloved snacks.
“Maybe. But my words had the desired effect.” His tone is softer now, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “You’re laughing.”
Yet, the joy didn’t reach its full potential, and never will with hundreds of miles between you. Happiness in its truest form found you in a handful of moments, and for most of them, Hyunjin was right by your side, fueling you with the love and devotion he held for you and you alone. He made you happy like nobody else, helping you see color even on the darkest days. Your beloved loved painting, that’s what he did, you just never thought he could bring forth his talent and make you see beauty in everything, guiding you to see the world through his eyes that always sparkled like he held the entire galaxy in them.
“Baby.”
Hyunjin gasps so loudly, almost like he is on the verge of bursting with happiness, matching Kkami’s energy to a T, ready to jump through the phone to feel your love and affection again.
“Can we facetime? I miss your beautiful face.” You add once Kkami is back on his own paws, devouring the stinky treat in your hand as you crouch to his level.
“Facetime? Love, I’ll literally catch the earliest flight and be there in record time! This little screen isn’t cutting it anymore, I need to see you with my own eyes before I get so desperate I start walking back just to be in your arms!”
And that is your cue to get on a plane first and finally visit your boyfriend before he keeps his word and ends up at your doorsteps with nothing but a duffle bag and a sob story about how much he missed you to justify his careless actions.
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