#it's very endearing actually. shes Vegetable Colored

[criticalrolo]

it's been a while since I did any CR art -- remember Fearne's gourds??

[thelastspeecher]

Ford's New Home

Surprise! A random Foster Ford AU ficlet! I've been working on it for a bit and finally got it finished up. Enjoy~

——————————————————————————————

              Stan opened the back door of the Stanmobile.

              “You ready, Stan?” he asked Ford.  Sitting in his booster seat, his suitcase and backpack on the seat next to him, Ford nodded.  Stan unbuckled Ford and picked him up, setting him on the ground.  “You’re gonna love it here, kiddo.”  Ford nodded again.  Stan handed him his backpack, which Ford shrugged on.  Ford reached for his suitcase, only for Stan to grab it instead.

              “I can carry it,” Ford protested.  Stan ruffled his hair.

              “I know.  But I’m supposed to carry the bigger stuff for you.  What kinda uncle would I be if I didn’t?  C’mon, Angie’s waiting for us!”  Stan closed the door and headed up the walkway to the modest but well-kept gray house.  Ford followed.  Multiple emotions warred for dominance.  He couldn’t decide whether to be excited, relieved, or, strangely, anxious.

              Why am I nervous?  This is what I’ve sought since I first crossed paths with Stan!  Ford sighed softly.  It’s probably just the change in my living situation.  At this vulnerable age, large changes cause me undue stress.  Ford paused by the massive and thriving flower garden along the front of the house.

              “Does Aunt Angie garden?” Ford asked, using the question as an excuse to get used to calling his sister-in-law his aunt.  Stan nodded.  “Just flowers, or…?”

              “Oh, she’s got vegetables and herbs in the backyard,” Stan said.  He raised an eyebrow.  “You wanna garden with her?”  Ford shrugged.

              “Sounds nice,” he said noncommittally.  It would definitely switch up his routine.  There were only so many activities he was allowed to do as a five-year-old.

              “It’s a good idea,” Stan said.  “Kids need to play in dirt.  It’s healthy.  Makes ‘em grow up strong.”  Ford smiled.  A genuine warm smile spread across Stan’s face in return.  He pushed the door open.  “Welcome home, Stanford.”  Ford stepped inside.

              The front door opened directly into a living room.  It was very tidy, with the exception of the coffee table covered in papers and textbooks.  Framed photos hung on the walls, most of various amphibians, but a few of Stan, Angie, or both of them.  A television pressed against the wall, across from a recliner, which Ford knew immediately was Stan’s favorite place to sit.  Ford could just about see into the adjacent kitchen from where he stood, which looked like it had been cleaned recently.

They clearly wanted to prepare for my arrival.  Sitting on the gray couch under the living room’s large front window was Ford’s sister-in-law/new foster mother, Angie.  She paged through a guidebook on amphibians, petting a purring calico cat on her lap.  Stan cleared his throat.  Angie looked up.  She quickly set the cat on the couch and stood, smiling sheepishly.

              “Lost track of time?” Stan teased.  Angie tucked a strand of caramel-colored hair behind one ear, blushing.  “I get it.  Those lizards are distracting.”

              “That book is about amphibians,” Ford corrected.  “Lizards are reptiles.”  If he wasn’t this young, he wouldn’t be as bold correcting an adult.  At his current age, most adults found his lack of social skills to be endearing, rather than problematic.  Sure enough, Stan and Angie both chuckled.

              “You got me, kid,” Stan said.  “I just call ‘em all lizards to tease Angie.”

              “I don’t mind none,” Angie drawled in her eerily familiar southern accent.  “I actually find it quite amusin’.”  She smiled at Ford.  “Anyways, enough ‘bout my distractable nature.  Do ya want to see yer new room, Stan?”  Angie frowned.  “Hmm.  It’ll be tough, havin’ two folks what go by Stan in the house.”

              “Actually,” Ford piped up quickly, “I don’t want to be called Stan.”

              I was planning on telling them to call me by my proper nickname at some point.  I might as well seize the opportunity.  Angie’s eyes widened.

              “Oh, don’t do that on my account!” she said.  “We can figure it out.  Maybe call ya Lil Stan and Big Stan…”

              “No, I- I never wanted to be called Stan,” Ford said.  He scowled.  “The police officers called me that and didn’t listen to me when I corrected them.  Then it stuck.”

              “Typical pigs,” Stan muttered under his breath.  To his surprise, Angie nodded in agreement.

              Angie didn’t strike me as an anti-police kind of person.  Then again, I’ve only met her a few times.  F was very much in that category.  They have similar accents.  Perhaps they come from the same region, and it is a common sentiment there.

              “What do you want to be called, then?” Stan asked, drawing Ford from his musings.

              “Ford.”  A pained expression crossed Stan’s face, so quickly that Ford would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking.

              “Are- are you sure?” Stan said.  Ford was impressed by Stan’s ability to hide the clearly complicated emotions he was experiencing.

              I can’t blame him.  The supposed son of his estranged and missing twin, named after that twin and asking to go by that twin’s nickname?  I have no idea how I would respond in his shoes, but it certainly wouldn’t be as even keeled.

              “Yes,” Ford said firmly.  “It’s a better nickname for Stanford than Stan, I think.”

              “It’ll make things easier,” Angie commented.  Stan nodded.

              “Yeah.”  He grinned at his wife, all hints of distress gone.  “I wasn’t looking forward to being called ‘Big Stan’ anyways.”  Stan patted his stomach for emphasis.  Angie laughed.

              “Oh, please, you know I love yer cushionin’.”

              “And it’s good for boxing,” Stan added.  He looked at Ford.  “I might have to teach you a few moves.”  Ford shrugged noncommittally.

              “First, we have to show him the room he’ll be stayin’,” Angie said.  She began to walk away.  Ford and Stan followed her into the hallway behind the living room, still lugging Ford’s things.  They walked past a bathroom, then Angie stopped in front of a closed door.  She smiled at Ford.  “Welcome home, kidlet.”  She pushed the door open.  Ford stepped inside.

              The room wasn’t as nice as Ford’s bedroom at the Youngs’ was.  It consisted of a twin bed with a blue bedspread, a dark brown dresser, matching desk, and closet.  The cat, which had followed them from the living room, strolled in after Ford and hopped onto the bed.

              “It’s…” Ford started.

              “…fairly sparse,” Angie interjected.  “We know.”

              “Shermie – your other uncle – brought over the furniture from when his kid was your age,” Stan said, setting down Ford’s suitcase.  Ford shrugged off his backpack.  “We decided to hold off on the other stuff until you got here.”

              “Why?” Ford asked.

              “Madeline and Wyatt told us that we could get stuff with space and aliens, since ya like that.  But we thought it would be nice if ya had a chance to choose yer own stuff,” Angie said.  “As I understand it, bein’ in foster care means ya don’t always get to do that.”  Ford stared at them.

              When Ford lived with the Youngs, Wyatt would always bring him along on shopping trips.  Even though Ford was relegated to the baby seat of the shopping cart every time, he was still able to see just how expensive children’s things were.

              They’re willing to spend that much on me?  Stan is willing to spend that much on me?

              “Are you sure?” Ford asked tentatively.  He stifled a frustrated groan at how timid and small his voice was.

              “Of course we are!” Angie said.  “We want ya to be comfortable ‘n feel at home!”  Stan grunted quietly.  Angie elbowed him.

              “Uh, yeah- yeah, we’re gonna get you stuff tomorrow,” Stan mumbled.  He forced a smile.  “But you can’t go crazy, okay?  Your Uncle Stan isn’t made of money.”  Angie sighed softly.

              “We went over this,” she muttered under her breath.  Ford winced.

              Maybe Stan isn’t that willing to spend so much on me.  Angie seems to have twisted his arm in this matter.  Ford quickly walked over to his bed and sat on it.  He looked at the cat licking itself next to him.

              “What is the cat named?” he asked.  Both Stan and Angie seemed relieved by the topic change, their shoulders losing some tension.

              “Dr. Whiskers,” Angie replied.  She smiled at Ford.  “He loves pets, by the way.”  Picking up on the hint, Ford carefully stroked the cat’s fur.  Dr. Whiskers promptly rolled onto his side, purring happily.

              “What is his doctorate in?” Ford asked.  He didn’t expect an answer; most people didn’t think of a degree to give their pet they named “Doctor”.  To his surprise, Angie replied promptly.

              “Early 20th century French literature.”

              “…What?”

              “It was the strangest degree I could think of a cat gettin’,” Angie said with a shrug.  Stan put an arm around her shoulders, grinning.

              “He’s got enough brains to get the degree, too.  I’ve met some of the people at Angie’s school.  I know how smart grad students are.”

              “Stan,” Angie sighed, rolling her eyes.  Stan chortled.  Angie looked at her watch.  “If we’re goin’ to make dinner, we ought to get started soon.  Do ya want us to make dinner, Ford?  Or would ya prefer we order somethin’?”  Ford shrugged.  “We’ll do homemade, then.  It’s healthier fer ya.”  Angie looked at Stan.  “Mind bein’ my sous chef, darlin’?”

              “Only if Ford doesn’t need my help unpacking,” Stan replied.  He raised an eyebrow at Ford.  Ford shook his head.

              “I can handle it on my own.”

              “Classic independent Pines man,” Stan said with an approving nod.  “Join us in the kitchen when you’re done unpacking.”  Ford nodded.  Stan and Angie left the room.  As the two walked away, Ford could hear Angie speaking to Stan.

              “We can’t let him unpack all his things without help.”

              “We’ll rearrange stuff after dinner,” Stan replied.  “Give him some time to settle in.  And it won’t hurt for him to get proud of unpacking all on his own, without any help from a grownup.”  Angie laughed.

              “Fair point.”  Their voices faded enough that Ford could no longer make out individual words.  He slid off the bed and walked over to his suitcase.  He unzipped it and began to take out the clothes inside, putting them away in his new dresser.

              They might think that they’ll have to do some rearranging after dinner, but that’s where they’re wrong.  Dr. Whiskers jumped off the bed and curled up on the floor next to Ford.  Ford petted the cat, smiling when it purred in response.  I’m perfectly capable of putting away my meager belongings.  He looked over at the closet.  Correction.  I’m perfectly capable of putting away my meager belongings that don’t need to be hung up.

[struckbyelectriclove]

oh god an actual character reference sheet

transcribed + more info under the cut

Character Info:

Name: Ekaterina “Kat” Solokov

Gender: Cis Female

Age: ~ 17 in character sheet

Birthday: February 14th

Zodiac: Aquarius

Species: Human (roughly)

Blood Status: Pureblood

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Nationality: Russian

Residence: Somewhere up in Northern Ireland

ADHD + High-functioning Autism

House: Ravenclaw

Animagus: Giant Flemish Rabbit (when not in cursed au)

Patronus: Giant Flemish Rabbit (also when not in cursed au)

Boggart: Herself, though pockmarked with feathers and claws and blood and teeth. Her mirror image is holding one of her friends‘ signature items (ex. Rowan’s glasses), and manically grinning from ear to ear and there’s blood all over her too-sharp teeth. She’s never figured out a good Riddikulus for it.

General:

- Her main nickname, and the name she goes by most often, is “Kat”. Only her Aunt Charlotte, whom she lives with, can call her “Katrina” and get away with it. Rakepick calls her “Miss Ekaterina“ sometimes and she’s visibly uncomfortable about it, but too worried about upsetting her to do anything about it.

- Her default mood is anxious, but she can relax when she’s around the people she loves, and can get quite goofy and loud sometimes, though usually not in a public setting. Sometimes she speaks too fast and her brain can’t form her thoughts into words, (ex. “Oh yeah, i know right? That’s the - the - thethethethethethe -“) and her friends have to fill it the rest of the sentence most of the time.

- She was cursed by a dark wizard at a very young age, seemingly because her house was the first house he could get into. Her cursed form is an awful monster with many sharp teeth, claws, feathers and scales, and she takes pills to suppress her curse so she doesn’t turn into that again. She stopped once, when she was nine and upset at her mother. It did not go well.

- Partially due to this curse, she’s pescatarian! She can’t really stomach red meat or poultry, but found that she loves fruits and vegetables, and eats fish sparingly. Her favorite fruit is an orange.

- Also due to her curse (it effects many aspects of her life), she’s completely colorblind! She can only see in greyscale, and it affects her ability to do well in Potions. Penny made her a temporary anti-colorblindness potion once for her birthday and she cried. All day she went around excitedly pointing at brightly-colored objects and hair (Tonks got A Lot of attention that day), and even ran up to Merula to tell her that her eye color is “beautiful” before sprinting off to yell about moss.

- Kat loves dueling! When she’s not researching the cursed vaults or studying or hanging out with friends, she’s constantly thinking about dueling, and every spell she learns in Charms is subject to the “how can i use this in a match?” treatment. She has a pretty even split of wins and losses since she’s constantly trying new strategies. This causes a number of injuries and does not endear her to Madam Pomfrey. She becomes the dueling club president in seventh year.

- She loves Transfiguration, and is super passionate about it. Something about transforming one thing into another is fascinating to her, and she’s often seen badgering Professor McGonagall about different theories. By contrast, her worse subject is flying, though that’s mostly due to her being unable to balance on a broom properly. The only way she can fly semi-straight is upside-down, much to the chagrin of Madam Hooch.

- Despite this, she’s actually fairly athletic! She’s extremely fast and agile, which helps her in dueling, and also very physically strong. If Alohamora won’t work on a lock, her next strategy is to bash it in with her shoulder.

- She was born on Valentine’s Day, but tends to forget her birthday due to the festivities and the fact that she hadn’t celebrated it in a while. She doesn’t like big celebrations, especially for her (she feels like she doesn’t deserve them), so the first time she told Rowan when her birthday was, it was in May of first year when they asked offhandedly. She made them promise not to tell anyone, as she feels like she’ll inconvenience everyone by having them get her a birthday gift when they could spend that money and time with their partner. Of course the truth eventually comes out, and she celebrates her birthday on the 15th as compromise.

- The biggest plot twist in hphm is that she has an E grade average.

[acesydneysage]

A Sydney and Eddie retrospective

@vablappreciationweek Favorite familial relationship: The Melrose Twins

Part 1, Books 1-3: The Nice, Cute Trilogy Where a Friendship Blooms and Nothing Bad Happens

Part 2

In Bloodlines, Sydney and Eddie are still getting to know each other. Eddie seems to find Sydney's awkwardness endearing, and they have a certain camaraderie as The Responsible Ones. I think the first time he calls her sis is really cute, even if they don't actually think of each other as siblings yet:

I guess I shouldn’t say everything that comes to mind,” I murmured to Eddie. I was used to being direct in social situations, but it occurred to me that simply saying “Yeah, totally!” would’ve probably been the correct response. I’d had few friends my own age and was out of practice. Eddie grinned at me. “I don’t know, sis. You’re pretty entertaining as you are. Keep it up."

There's a lot of cuteness. Eddie insists on teaching Sydney how to throw a puch, to keep his promise to Clarence. And there's this adorable little fist bump too:

I returned to my desk and received an approving fist bump from Eddie. “Nice work. You don’t have to take a real class. Of course, if she’s got you reading Latin, maybe it’ll be worse than a real class.” “I like Latin,” I said with absolute seriousness. “It’s fun.” Eddie shook his head and said in a very, very low voice: “I can’t believe you think we’re the strange ones.”

That last line brings me to the conflict. Even if the power dynamics for it to be oppression aren't there (and Eddie can't exactly claim his society treats humans amazingly well in my opinion), having someone think that you're an evil, unnatural creature cannot be fun. They mostly don't let it get too far because they're both very professional, so what you get is a thoughtless comment from Sydney and answering jab from Eddie.

“Even a dhampir like you should know that.” He smiled ruefully. ‘“Even a dhampir like me?’” I supposed I’d been a little insulting, but it couldn’t be helped. [...] That wry smile returned. “Everything’s black and white with you Alchemists, isn’t it? Do you think you can really stop her from doing anything? You should know better. Even your childhood couldn’t have been that abnormal.” With that slap in the face, Eddie stalked off, leaving me aghast.

The more explicit conflict they have surrounds Jill's dating life, and the taboo of vampire/human relationships, and that's how we get Lee. The mini-golf family outing is very cute, the twins actually talk in sync at one point, Eddie steps up when he thinks Adrian is making Sydney unconfortable, and he claims that the Dracula statue incident is the first time he heard her laugh. But of course it leads to trouble in the form of Jill's escapade with Lee.

When Sydney explodes about feeling like their mom afterwards (I love that speech), Eddie is included for not scaring off Micah. He's honestly regretful about not pulling his weight, even though she says he's not as bad as the others. I think their relationship is pretty smooth from then on. After that talk they seem to understand each other better.

“Spirit users can take antidepressants, can’t they? If he’s worried about it becoming a problem, then he needs to step up and take charge. He has a choice. He’s not helpless. There are no victims here.” Eddie studied me for several seconds. “And I thought I had a harsh view on life.” “You have a harsh life,” I corrected. “But yours is built around the idea that you always have to take care of other people. I was raised to believe that’s necessary sometimes but that everyone still needs to try to take care of themselves.” “And yet here you are.”

The similarities between Sydney and Eddie's worldviews should be taken as a sign that Guardian ideology is about as messed up as Alchemist ideology, to be honest. But other than her hang-ups about vampires she always thought pretty highly of him:

Eddie was the one who finally spoke, his words soothing and kind. He so often gave off the impression of a do-or-die warrior that it was surprising to realize he was actually very compassionate.

Once Adrian tells her about Mason, she has more insight into the tragic past he hides behind his easygoing nature. I'm keeping this the happy post,more on Eddie's tragic past on the next one. By the end of the book, they've spent a more significant amount of time together, and even though Sydney is not great a reading people and Guardians are probably very good at hiding their feelings, she's the one who notices his feelings for Jill, because she's the one who's paying attention to him.

In The Golden Lily, Sydney is already pretty fond of the whole gang (and feeling pretty conflicted about it), and they clearly like her a lot, too. She spends only a weekend away and she already misses all of them. Eddie is so relieved she's back in town to save him from the crazy. There's more talk about their similarities, "Like me, he understood duty", and they continue to have Mom Friend and Dad Friend solidarity:

Jeans, khakis, a few solid colored T-shirts. They were very practical, very much something a no-nonsense guy like Eddie would pick out. I approved. “The size actually looks right. Good eye. We’ll have to send you out shopping more often.” “If that’s what I have to do,” he said, face serious. I couldn’t help but laugh in surprise. “I was joking.” I put the shirts back in the bag. “I know that couldn’t have been fun.” Eddie’s face gave nothing away. “Oh, come on. It’s okay. You don’t have to play stoic with me. I know you didn’t enjoy it.” “I’m here to do a job. Doesn’t matter if I enjoy it or not.” I started to protest but then thought better of it. After all, wasn’t that my philosophy too? Sacrificing my own wants for higher goals? Eddie was intensely dedicated to this mission. He never backed down. I expected nothing less from him than single-minded focus. [...] “Sydney,” he said gently. “You’re the most responsible person I know, but this isn’t what you’re here to do. You don’t have to take care of everything and everyone.” “I don’t mind,” I said automatically. “It is what I’m here for.” But even as I said it, I wondered if that was true. A bit of the anxiety from the bunker returned, making me question if what I did was truly Alchemist responsibility or the desire to help those who—against protocol—had become my friends. “See? Now you sound just like I did earlier.” He stood up and flashed me a grin. “You want to come with me to Adrian’s? Be responsible together?”

Of course by this point Sydney is unconfortable with her image as the hyper responsible one who's all about duty and never has fun. With Sydney encouraging Eddie in his feelings for Jill, and Eddie thinking Sydney going out on a date isn't a bad idea, thoughout TGL they're telling each other that it's okay to have feelings and relax a little, and not be completely focused on duty all of the time. "I'm not gonna do it, but you totally should."

Sydney explicitly thinks of Eddie and the gang as her friends at this point. I don't have anything to say about this, it's just cute banter, I'm gonna claim that it shows that they already have a more relaxed, friendly dynamic:

Eddie and I exchanged glances. So much for avoiding her indiscretions. “Improving how exactly?” I asked. “In combat, in following the dress code, or in keeping her hands to herself?” “Or in turning off caps-lock?” added Eddie. “You noticed that too?” I asked. “Hard not to,” he said.

Eddie just happens to be hanging around her dorm at the time her date comes to pick her up for reasons, very good ones I'm sure (“And I was here to, um…”). He seems to spend a signicant amount of time discussing Sydney's love life with the gang.

Eddie is now more open and vulnerable with Sydney, talking to her about his feelings for Jill and how hard it is to touch her during sparring lessons, and about how unconfortable he is with Angeline's unwanted advences. He sees her as an ally in that area:

“There’s a Halloween Dance?” Eddie dragged himself from his misery to give me a surprised look. “How do you not know? There are signs everywhere.” I stirred around my steamed vegetables. “They must not be anywhere I’ve been.” Eddie gestured with his fork to something behind me. [...] “How can you memorize entire books but miss something like that?” asked Angeline. “Because Sydney’s brain only records ‘useful’ information,” Eddie said with a smile. I didn’t deny it. “Don’t you think Eddie should go?” pushed Angeline. “He needs to watch out for Jill. And if he goes, we might as well go together.” Eddie shot me a desperate look, and I tried to find him a way out of this.

They already know each other better at this point, and what to expect. Also, this little passage just screams SIBLINGS to me:

“You’re going to this one, aren’t you?” asked Eddie. “With Brody?” “Brayden. And I don’t know. We haven’t even had our second date. I don’t want things to move too fast.” “Right,” Eddie said. “Because there’s no bigger sign of commitment than a Halloween dance.” I was about to get him back by suggesting maybe he and Angeline should go together after all when Jill and Micah joined us.

It really pains Sydney to see Eddie hurting, and she feels like his insistance in staying away from Jill and encouraging her relationship with Micah is masochistic. And she talks him up to Jill when she shows interest.

In the end, Eddie goes along with the plan to keep Sydney out of the loop when they raid the Warrior's compound. He has a whisper fight with Adrian where I assume he convinced him to let it go, and he's the one to put a tracking device in Sydney's purse. Sydney considered the whole thing a pretty big betrayal of all of them, her vampire friends and Alchemists alike.

When the raid goes down, Eddie can't get to Sydney, and she motions at him to go without her. According to Adrian, when Eddie came out without Sydney he was "babbling" about how she'd gone out some random door. He was obviously pretty worried about her:

“Sydney!” he exclaimed. He immediately released Angeline’s hand and hurried over to me, astonishing me with a hug. “Thank God you’re okay. I hated having to leave you there. That wasn’t part of the plan. I was supposed to have gotten you out with Sonya.” “Yeah, well, maybe next time, someone can fill me in on the plan,” I said pointedly. Eddie grimaced. “I’m sorry about that. I really am. We just…” “I know, I know. Didn’t think I’d go along with it, were afraid something would go wrong, etc., etc.” “I’m sorry.” I didn’t entirely forgive him, but I was too tired to push the matter much further. “Just tell me this,” I said, lowering my voice. “Were you just holding hands with Angeline?” He blushed, which seemed ludicrous after the fierceness I’d seen him pull off back at the compound.

Sydney still didn't fully forgive any of the Palm Springs gang for this, but it also drove a rift between her and the Alchemists, which helped do away with the conflict she felt about liking them.

On to The Indigo Spell, Eddie's the only person Sydney trusts with her car which is a high honor.

I took my car keys out of my bag and reluctantly handed them over to Eddie. He was the only one I trusted to drive my car, and I always let him borrow it when I left town, in case he needed to run errands for our group. “Here you go. I better get it back in one piece. Do not let Angeline near the driver’s seat.” He grinned. “Do I look suicidal? I probably won’t even use it. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport later?”

When Marcus gives sydney a black eye, she feels like Eddie might want to hunt down her assailant, which I feel goes a bit beyond the immediate protection he'd give just anyone who needed it. When Sydney starts going on super secret meetings with rebel alchemists she decides the Eddie is the man to call for protection:

I’d been a little hesitant to let Eddie in on Marcus. Eddie certainly wasn’t going to turn Marcus or me in to the Alchemists for sideline plotting. That being said, I also didn’t want Eddie to think the Alchemists were involved in nefarious schemes against the Moroi. That might very well be something Eddie would relay back to his own people, which could in turn cause all sorts of diplomatic problems. Even this hint of the Alchemists potentially being in contact with the Warriors was dangerous. I decided that having Eddie as protection was worth the risk of him hearing something he shouldn’t. He was my friend, and I trusted him.

When Eddie hears that there might be a connection between the Alchemists and the Warriors, and that the later might be after Jill, he trusts Sydney to find out what's going on and help him keep Jill safe, which is pretty much the most important thing in the world to him:

“It’s all circumstantial,” argued the scientist in me. “Sydney,” said Eddie. I turned to him and saw something in his eyes I’d never expected to see: pleading. He didn’t care about Alchemist conspiracies or Marcus’s Merry Men. What he cared about was Jill, and he’d heard something that made him think she was in danger. That was unacceptable in his world. He would do anything in his power to keep her safe, but even he knew stealing information from the Alchemists was out of his league. It was pretty much out of mine too, but he didn’t know that. He believed in me, and he was silently begging me to help.

So they both really trust each other at this point. It's Eddie's pleading and her own worry for Jill that convince Sydney to take the pretty big risk of stealing Alchemist files.

I had to stop myself from adding a bunch of instances of Eddie blushing that aren'tactually that relevant to their relationship, so I have to agree with Sydney that blushing Eddie is adorable:

Eddie still looked way too serious for this discussion. “Maybe Eddie would volunteer,” I suggested. “I bet guardian posture would be great on the catwalk.” He blushed, which even I had to admit was adorable.

Eddie talks pretty openly to Sydney about his relationship with Angeline throuhgout the book, and then when that implodes spectacularly he agrees to talk to Sydney about it. They meet at a cafe and when the scene starts Sydney claims they had been there for almost an hour. Eddie Castile spent AN HOUR talking about his feelings with Sydney Sage, I just love that. The serious, dedicated Guardian allowing himself to be vulnerable and to be conforted. Then we get this beautiful, beautiful little exchange:

“Thanks for the moral support,” Eddie told me. “Sometimes it feels like you really are a sister—” That was when my car exploded. Sort of.

Interrupted by an exploding car because I can't have nice things. During that conversation Sydney was feeling pretty terrible herself, and she can't talk about her fight with Adrian. But that makes her wish that at least Eddie could be happy even more.

At this point I consider them to absolutely be ACTUAL TWINS, but I'm gonna have to leave the second half of the series, where Sydney and Eddie prove their love for each other in the most painful way possible, for a part 2.

[hanadolphieron]

tzuyu as a girlfriend~12/17

how you met;

tzuyu would meet you through a friend

she’d liked your name when her friend brought you up in a conversation and wanted to meet you

so, the friend had arranged a meeting (along with some other humans they knew)

which was more like a blind date because tzuyu was for some reason incredibly flustered at the thought of seeing you

and you did not disappoint

both your hearts were fluttering and you audibly akfdjakfdskl as a greeting

tzuyu returned it with the same enthusiasm

cue some eye rolls from the friend

anyways, throughout the night you and tzuyu talked

and talked

more talking

you completely zoned out from the main conversation of the table

but that’s okay, because tzuyu’s way more interesting than them

you exchanged numbers at the end of the night

vowing to send multiple juicy memes

and talk to each other irl at some point

the basics;

tzuyu’s preferred love style is flattering

if you so much as compliment her once, you can expect a whole bouquet of roses and eight boxes of chocolates

she loves doing generous things for others

especially her loved ones

her personality is creative and expressive

and she seems to inspire energy in people

while she may be all over the place at times, it makes for the best because she can speak about anything under the sun

and her mood/communication changes are fun to follow

because she’s so interesting? i find her personality to be intriguing

love in general makes her squeal, she’s a sucker for any “traditional” romantic gestures

courting is something that she thinks is cool

like? having people who are in line to date her? that is a leo venus’s dream

as a girlfriend, tzuyu wants to be shown off

so expect lots of clinginess because she wants you to love her

no strings attached? tzuyu doesn’t know her- if you’re her s/o she wants to be everything to you, as you’ll be everything to her

passion is big for her as well, she’ll do anything to keep some spice in the relationship

daydreams a bunch about her s/o

fights will barely happen, her libra mars prevents arguments from escalating, as she has a special way of compromising

like she hates yelling so much, and has therefore cultivated her neutralizing method

makes sure you receive everything you wanted but also respect her wishes

although if you take advantage of her niceness expect a dramatic cutting off of the entire relationship

she finds teasing, annoyingly attractive people amazing

that’s her ideal type right there

think the “flirty royalty” archetype

she just wants someone to love her and only her, because she’ll return the same treatment you give her

compliments all over the place

tzuyu will never shut up about you, to her friends, family, members, pets, even to your face she’ll gush about how amazing you are

communication is important (it is for everybody but with tzuyu it’s more of an emotional need)

she likes to talk about her feelings, and if her s/o can’t be there for her she’ll feel boxed in

but if you’re there for her, you’ll become close fast because she’ll rant about everything going on in her mind and heart

which will explode into stories and opinions and jokes

headcannons;

eating a foot-long hot dog together at a baseball game

now, you had bought this thinking consuming it would be easy, i mean it’s a hot dog how hard can it be?

very hard, apparently

especially with the two of you constantly giggling and accidentally spitting bits of cheese at the other

the poor people sitting around you

they just wanted to watch a game of baseball

you and tzuyu had wanted to as well, since neither of you had been to one in a while

and wanted to see fireworks

however, you had not realized how hecking long baseball games take

and in the middle you had gone over to order The Hot Dog

with lots of toppings

because bored and because why not

and eat it like your lives depended on it

the fireworks did not disappoint (once they finally arrived)

you and tzuyu stood, watching them

their colors were so pretty

and the whole vibes in the moment were so magical you actually teared up

causing tzuyu to wrap her arms around you in support

which made you even more emotional because how did you get this lucky?!

anyways, this made tzuyu start crying because she realized how much she loved you and everything was so perfect

because what can be better than holding your s/o, full, happy, and content with fireworks exploding above you?

nicknames;

-sasquatch-

used by tzuyu

i apologize for this abominable name, but i’m also not sorry at all

tzuyu started calling you sasquatch when you referred to her as chewbacca (bc tzuyu)

mind you, you only called her that once

but tzuyu took it to another level, and at your next birthday the card was addressed to sasqatch

-pumpkin-

used by you

tzuyu’s the lucky one, being called a normal term of endearment

she’s still embarrassed though

you tell her, “toughen up sport” “you refer to me as sasquatch” “being called a vegetable is not as bad as that”

but she really loves it and hopes you never stop

because everyone time you call her pumpkin your mind tells your hands to grab hers and squeeze them

which is something she doesn’t want to lose hold of

[backwardscapsmh]

the angst is back baby! this is based on a post i made about the best niall horan song ever made and angsty holsom after samwell. hope you enjoy! as always, comments and constructive criticism are appreciated! 🥰

‘cause if the whole world was watching, i’d still dance with you // drive highways and byways to be there with you // over and over the only truth // everything comes back to you

- this town by niall horan 

It’s been years. Almost 7 since he graduated, and almost 6 since him and Ransom were no longer “insta-friends” anymore. It hurts if he’s being honest.

And yeah, he knows that your college best friends are not going to be your best friends for your entire life, but goddammit it felt like that with Ransom! Him and Ransom had that connection. They were a d-men pair; perfectly in sync on and off of the ice. They were best friends, platonic soulmates, and absolutely perfect for each other. 

But now, Ransom’s off being a top notch pediatrician on the West coast and Holster’s just stuck. He’s stuck in Boston, stuck on the other side of the country, stuck in life. He spent so long living his life around Ransom that he forgot what it felt like to be a singular entity, no longer part of a pair. 

So now he’s still in Boston, living by himself, having moved when Shitty and Lardo moved to New York because of Lardo’s gallery opening, and Ransom left for med school at Oregon State University. Haus 2.0 came to an end and Holster seemed to be the only one left.  And that’s okay. He’s used to being left behind. It happened with middle school friends getting too annoyed by his general volume and excitement. It happened with the draft after juniors. He’s used to it by now. It’s fine. It’s fine. He just didn’t expect to be left behind by the most important person who’s ever been in his life.  Ransom was his person. His absolute favorite entity to ever exist. They were best friends for god’s sake. And now they’re not. They’re not RansomandHolster. They’re Dr. Justin Oluransi and Mr. Adam Birkholtz, former college d-men at Samwell university and Instagram acquaintances on a good day.  He thought their bond went beyond distance but it’s hard to keep in touch regularly when your across the country from each other and one of you is a med school student. You’re not there to experience things together. You’re trying to bridge a gap in life that just gets wider and wider the longer you’re apart.  And yeah, technology is great, but it’s not the same. Seeing thousands of pixels attempt to replicate the exact color of Ransom’s eyes doesn’t do them justice. The way they light up when he talks about hockey or a new Excel sheet just doesn’t look right in the small phone in Adam’s frankly gigantic hands. It’s just not the same.  He misses Justin’s cold hands coming up to hold his face when he comes back in from walking back from class. He misses Justin’s steady weight next to his when they would watch Netflix on the couch together. He misses having a person around him who genuinely cared about him. He misses it.  So in a moment of weakness and boredom, he digs through is closet to find the box of college memorabilia he has. The box is filled of pictures,  and random crap he kept because it seemed important at the time. But mostly, the box is filled with memories of him and Ransom.  There’s the picture of them at Faber on the Frog Tour, when Justin looked right at him and said “We’re going to be friends for a long time Adam. I can feel it!” All Adam remembers from that moment is that his stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of being in Justin’s life for a long time and his heart warmed.  There’s a ticket to Les Mis when they were able to go see it at the local theater near Samwell. Ransom had brought him for his birthday because he remembered that Holster would sing the soundtrack with his favorite aunt in her car when he was younger. He had absolutely melted when Ransom told him that.  There’s a picture of him, Ransom, March, and April at a kegster. They’re all smiling, though they all look very drunk. March’s hand is on Ransom’s chest. Even after all of this time, Holster’s stomach burns with something ugly. It’s not jealousy though. He swears. There’s pictures of them with the team, and even though Holster loved everyone on the team, he’s almost never far from Ransom in any of the pictures. They’re always touching in some way and if they’re not, one is usually looking at the other.  As he picks up the next picture, which is just of Jack and Bitty after the proposal. He notices their faces. Bitty’s holding Jack’s hands and looking at him like he holds the secret of the universe. And Jack is looking right back, eyes soft and smiling. He doesn’t look like the hockey robot that he usually does and it stabs Holster in the heart. He wants something like that.  The next picture is one Lardo took and gave to him when her and Shitty moved out saying “Maybe it’ll help.” He never knew what she meant but as he studies the picture in his hands, it hits him like a ton of bricks.  The picture is of him and Ransom cooking in the kitchen. Ransom’s chopping vegetables with intense concentration, like he does with everything. It’s hopelessly endearing. And Holster is leaning against the kitchen island watching him with what can only be described as an adoring look on his face.  Oh.  Suddenly, everything makes sense: the butterflies when Ransom told him he loved him, the mushy feeling when they sat together on the couch, the ugly feeling when March and Ransom dated. All of the times when he wanted to grab Ransom’s wrist and tug him into a hug or kiss and he pushed them down because this is his first best friend who promised not to leave him. He wasn’t going to screw that up. 

And that’s why it hurts so bad that they’ve lost touch. And that’s why he hasn’t tried dating since Ransom was here last. He’s in love with his former best friend who’s not here anymore.  Right. He’s not here anymore.  So now Holster’s left these feelings. Leftovers from when he knew who he was and what he wanted. Scraps from when Ransom was actually in his life. Pieces from when he had someone.  And because apparently nothing in his life can’t revolve around Ransom, Holster has to be in love with him to. Too bad he left, just like everyone else.

[writer-and-artist27]

Cake Day

Inspired by a memory I still hold dear to my heart, where the departed Di Thuy lent me her baking tools just to make a tiramisu layer cake for Daddy’s 58th birthday three years ago. Di Thuy, I still love you. I hope the Buddha is taking good care of you in Nirvana.

Otherwise, this is dedicated to a friend who deserves better. @partialdignity, this is for you. It may be a few weeks early, but it's still June and I wanted to be prepared. I’ll just drop AmaLee’s cover of God Knows from Haruhi Suzumiya for an extra tone-setter. Please enjoy the fluff. :)

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“350 degrees in the oven for the cake, now I just need to brew the coffee, but what else am I forgetting…?”

It wasn’t every day the usual kitchen staff weren’t populating their places in the Novum Chaldea Dining Hall. In fact, it was even rarer to find one of the only Chaldean Masters occupying its walls instead, running back and forth to pull out ingredients left and right while muttering to herself.

Robin Hood watched the entire scene from a corner of the room with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow because if he knew any better, intervention would probably be necessary in the next few moments. Vy was a workaholic even when she wasn’t trying to be, after all. Still, it didn’t stop him from watching with the slightest bit of curiosity outside of his usual job. Vy was probably one of the most radiant people you could ever meet, Servant or not. Whenever she was working with someone in mind, she just shined in a way not a lot of other people could do in the same capacity. With the pink apron covering the front of her dress, the faded blue hair tie keeping her ponytail in place, and the tiny flecks of chocolate dusting her fingers as she worked, it was all rather endearing.

“Big Robin, you don’t have to watch, y’know,” Vy called out all of sudden without glancing over her shoulder, and Robin paused. “If you wanted to help, you could come closer.”

Robin ignored the urge to roll his eyes, instead taking the chance to come closer as his little sparrow asked. “Call my reason worry and leave it at that,” he said vaguely, whistling innocently once Vy was tossing him a look of disbelief. “What are you making, little sparrow?”

Vy proceeded to shrug her shoulders while kneeling to one of the lower cabinets in the kitchen, muttering a small, “Heave ho,” while grabbing what looked like a dark bottle of some kind of… alcohol? “Tiramisu,” she said once the bottle was nestled safely in her arms, a warm smile growing on her face once she stood up and turned to meet Robin’s eyes. “Coffee cake, if that makes more sense. Some of the others have been drinking more black coffee lately, and since we’re going to enter the Indian Lostbelt soon, I was thinking of giving everyone something sweet to munch on, so…”

“Ah.” Thinking of Rem, huh? And defying what that Vitch fox lady did to you both with that poisoned cake. It was all very much Vy.

With a small smile, Robin glanced over the kitchen counters. Cake mix, instant coffee powder, heavy cream, eggs, vegetable oil, cocoa powder, cream cheese — that meant the bottle in Vy’s hands was coffee liquor. He was probably worried over nothing. Still, he asked, “All by yourself?”

“Hey, I can do it!” Vy said louder, looking a bit offended at his inquiry. Whoops. “I’ve done this recipe plenty of times for Daddy’s birthday before I came here!”

“Riiiiight,” Robin replied, but he still dispelled the No Face May King to walk into the kitchen and grab an apron of his own. If he couldn’t stop her from completing her current task, then he could at least divert some of her efforts to save energy. “Still think I can take you up on that offer to help, little sparrow?”

The pout that was on Vy’s face immediately dissipated at his offer, sparkles seemingly flying off her figure as she then smiled up at him. “Are you up for helping with the coffee, Big Robin? I still have to whip the cream for the frosting.” A giggle left her lips as she took a step closer to him, liquor bottle still in her arms as she reached up with one hand to gently pat his cheek. “You can have frosting taste-testing rights!”

“You don’t have to give me those,” Robin pointed out, but he was laughing too, right before he could help himself. “Though, if you want…”

Vy tilted her head at him, ponytail flopping down onto her shoulder with the motion. “Hm?”

Robin smirked, taking the hand Vy had on his cheek in his before she could think of drawing back into her work mode. “I could use a different incentive.”

Vy blushed almost immediately at the attention, averting her gaze once he took a step forward in her direction with a squeeze of her hand. “Um,” she started tentatively, “am I thinking what you are thinking…?”

“I dunno, little sparrow,” Robin hummed, reaching over to take the liquor bottle out of Vy’s arms to put it on the nearest free counter. “You tell me.”

“Muuuu,” Vy pouted, shutting her eyes for a moment. Robin watched with interest as the pink on her cheeks darkened to a very pretty red. “J-Just let me ask you one thing before you do anything, Big Robin?”

Robin still took his chance to wrap an arm around Vy’s waist, pulling her closer to him as he grinned. “What’s up, little sparrow?”

“P-Pulling me in is still in the ‘anything’ category, Robin.” Vy weakly puffed her cheeks out in protest at him, only to find her breath stalling once his nose brushed hers. She averted her gaze before asking in a shier, unintentionally cuter voice, “D-Do you think… Do you think Rem would like tiramisu?”

Robin gave Vy his softest smile, butting the top of her nose with his — eliciting a cute giggle from her lips. “With her taste in black coffee, I’m sure she’ll love it, little sparrow. Just be careful of the sugar if I were you.”

“D-Dunno if we have to worry about the sugar, but…” Vy ducked her head, but even past the few strands of loose brown hair, Robin could see the nervous smile playing with her lips. So pink and soft… “I-I see… That’s good…”

Robin smiled and opted to kiss Vy’s head instead. He already knew throwing off her concentration more than this wouldn’t turn out well. Affection could be left for another time.

“R-Robin?”

“Just don’t push yourself, little sparrow. That’s all I ask.”

“O-Okay…”

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“What are you doing, Vy?”

“Frosting drawing, Arjuna-san,” Vy said distractedly, closing one eye to focus on the piping bag in front of her. The cake that made up her canvas continued to retain its clean white color from the heavy-cream-frosting crumb coat she applied earlier, so the chocolate-dyed frosting in her hands would definitely serve as the final touches for her newest pastry. “But hello and what’s up?”

“I… I don’t know how to respond to that,” Arjuna added, quietly looming over Vy’s shoulder to watch with interest. “But what is this cake?”

“As I told Big Robin,” Vy gestured to the other Archer with a shrug of her other shoulder, gently applying pressure to the bag in her hands to pipe out the first frosting flower, “It’s a tiramisu cake.”

“Tira… misu?” Arjuna echoed cluelessly.

“Coffee cake, as the little sparrow would say,” Robin added from his place washing dishes in the kitchen, a chuckle leaving him with the statement. “It’s for a certain other Master that we have to worry about.” Under his breath, Vy could distinctly hear him mutter, “Workaholics.”

“Love you too, Big Robin!” Vy blurted out petulantly over the next frosting flower, relishing the clatter noises of tupperware echoing from the sink. To Arjuna, she hummed, “But yep. Coffee cake!”

“I… see,” Arjuna said. Vy still took a step to the side, not stopping her current work all the while, so that he could come a bit closer. “But are the decorations necessary?”

“I mean,” Vy gently piped out another flower, letting the peak sit on the cake’s clean white surface for about a second before letting her arms fall a bit to raise her head and meet the other Archer’s eyes. “I feel like they do?”

“You don’t sound confident about that,” Arjuna pointed out with a pointed index finger. Still, his gaze wandered back to the cake and the incomplete flower heart Vy was making, quirking an eyebrow at the shape. “This may be a bit much.”

“…That’ll depend on Rem, I think,” Vy admitted finally, turning back to the cake to hold her frosting bag. “But it’s the only thing I could think of after she went out farming for materials and made bánh xèo that one morning.” Vy couldn’t help the wry smile that formed on her lips as she piped out another flower, nudging the peak once it started to wilt a little from the warmth of her hands. Frosting did have to be kept cold. “With everything we’ve seen, I don’t think I can ever stop thanking her, anyways.” Vy took a chance to glance at Arjuna. “Same thing to you, Arjuna-san.”

Arjuna blinked owlishly at her, black eyes widening from the surprise. “I do not recall doing anything to warrant your gratitude, Vy.”

“To the contrary, Archer!” Vy smiled up at him while tilting her head. “You help Rem and me a lot with the fighting, actually. And considering how you’re still with us after the Singularities and three Lostbelts, I just have to keep thanking you for your continued presence, don’t I?”

Arjuna’s jaw fell slack. Over Vy’s shoulder, she could hear the sound of water stop running as Robin put away the last dish in the drying rack.

Vy beamed, warmth filling her voice as she finished with, “You make Rem happy, Arjuna-san. And considering there’s only so much I can do for a friend, I think I can at least say thank you to a friend’s special other just for bringing them joy in my place, right?”

Arjuna’s cheeks started to take on a dark flush at that point, a hand coming up to cover his gaping mouth as he continued to stare at her wordlessly.

Oops. Guess I was too honest. To tune out the apparent shock in the air, Vy turned back to her cake, piping out another chocolate frosting flower to finish the first half of the heart before saying, “With that much cheese in the air, do you want to help with frosting?”

“…Cheese?”

“I know, I know I said a lot of cheesy things, so let’s put it behind us and finish this cake! Rem’s coffee break is coming up soon, Arjuna-san!”

------------------------------------

Rem, as expected, was found in her room, working over a tablet as Nursery Rhyme kicked her legs up against the bedsides while resting her head against Rem’s shoulder. The cup of black coffee in her free hand was enough of a clue to her current mental state.

Chị Rem, I hope this is a good enough gift for you. My beloved friend.

It didn’t stop Vy from smiling once Rem raised her head to meet her eyes, and she chanced a glance at Arjuna and Robin lingering in the hallway behind her before raising the tiramisu in the air.

“Happy early birthday, Chị Rem,” Vy hummed, balancing the cake plate carefully as she walked forward with a small skip in her step, matching the timing it took for Rem’s eyes to widen at the offering. “I bring tiramisu cake! For once, the cake is not a lie because there’s no poison!”

It was another day with friends, and Vy wouldn’t trade it for anything.

[suwya]

Till the Stars Had Run Away - Chapter 5

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Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."

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Rating: M

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Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

AO3

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A/N: Thank you @thisonesatellite​ for being the best beta I could ever ask for . And thank to all of you who are reading this.

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Chapter 5 . .

“Do not wait to strike

 till the iron is hot;

but make it hot

by striking.”

(W. B. Yeats)

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Everyone on the Jolly Roger was almost ready to start the journey back home and the crew was busy sorting out the last details. In the end, the little holiday had been a pleasant one; Emma was happy she had decided to embark on this adventure. But she also looked a bit worried. Wrinkles showed up on her forehead while she was chewing her bottom lip. “Henry, would you mind checking if everything is in order in our cabin?”

As soon as the kid left the main hall, Emma approached Killian. “Can I talk to you for one second?” 

Killian observed how she was acting anxiously, often checking on the door in case Henry would come back. “No need to find an excuse with your boy. If you want to spend some time alone with me, you just have to ask.” He tried to minimize the moment.

She answered him with a roll of her eyes, but it was clear that something was bothering her. “Are we leaving already?” She asked.

“Probably not before tomorrow morning. I need some more time to replace the fuel and our water supplies.”

“Oh, okay.” Was her short reply. But Killian detected apprehension.

“What’s the rush?” He inquired.

She dismissed the matter with a wave of her hand and he decided to take advantage of the moment alone with her. “Why did you accept?” He suddenly asked. “To come on this trip.” He added to her puzzled expression.

“I just want to offer Henry every possible chance to live a life full of good experiences.”

Killian hummed, but he had a feeling there was something more. He made another step towards her, invading her space, and he could now distinguish the freckles that dotted her cheeks, which he found very endearing. He tilted his head and kept his eyes connected with hers, trying to read what she was not telling him.

Emma did not step back nor she lowered her stare, but she was biting her lower lip again. "And I have a lead." She admitted eventually. 

He didn't see that coming and arched an eyebrow in question. "Come again?"

She looked briefly over her shoulder towards the door, but Henry wasn't in sight. "I may have found someone that could have information about my adoptive parents and their plan," she whispered in case Henry could hear her, "I know where this person is, but I don’t know how to reach him."

Killian was all ears even though he somehow already knew he wouldn't like what was coming next.

"I need a favor,” she started explaining. “This man, he appears to be on a planet… ahm...” She handed him a little piece of paper with some coordinates. “Here, see? Do you think we could make a stopover there on our way back home?”

Killian glanced briefly at the numbers written on the paper and nodded. An unpleasant feeling of anxiety was growing inside him. 

“I have already arranged an appointment, well sort of, with this guy.” Emma went on. “I can set the meeting at an hour when Henry should be already asleep. He doesn't usually wake up at night, but in case he does… would you distract him until I come back?"

"What kind of appointment? Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Will you?" She insisted, avoiding his questions.

Killian sighed. "On one condition.”

“Shoot."

“What’s this guy’s name?” Killian asked as if it wasn’t a big deal.

Emma stared at him for a few seconds. “Are you going to check on him?”

“Of course I will.”

“I have already done that. Thank you, but you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m the captain here, and I have to take all the possible precautions when it comes to my ship. And you meeting someone whose name I don’t even know could represent a risk.” Killian was starting to lose his patience. Everything about this appointment was screaming danger.

Emma crossed her arms in front of her defensively, but in the end, she surrendered. “Fine. His name is Sidney Glass and he’s a journalist, he’s not a criminal or anything. He travels a lot, that’s why I’m pretty sure he’s got more current information than what I have about New-Tolemac.”

“So what’s the plan, Swan? Seduce him until he speaks?” He asked sardonically. 

“Would it be any problem?” She retorted.

He swallowed hard. “I don’t like it. If he’s a journalist, it won’t be easy to make him spill any possible secret he may know.”

Emma looked behind her back again. Still no sign of her son. “Will you take care of Henry or not?”

Killian finally nodded. “I assure you, nothing will happen to the boy while he’s in my charge.” But his gut told him he was already regretting the decision.

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~·~·~·~

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Days passed quietly. Killian tried to bring up the topic from time to time, but she wasn’t keen on talking about her upcoming appointment, always avoiding his questions and rapidly changing the subject. She was also spending less and less time sitting near him in the main cabin at night, just in case he started worrying again. He suspected she knew that meeting this man could be risky, but he soon learned how stubborn she could be, especially with a goal in mind. 

That’s why he was surprised when the evening before the scheduled appointment she approached him while cooking dinner. Henry was sitting nearby, immersed in his tablet. 

“What the hell is that thing?” She asked pointing to a big hairy bug Killian was holding.

“It’s a mottled furry cockroach.” He answered as the most obvious thing.

“Yuck!” Emma scrunched her nose in disgust. “It’s huge!”

“This one? Oh, no, it’s just a baby. Grown-ups can reach even 3.5 feet length.” Killian seemed delighted.

“Is it dead?”

“Of course it is. One little bite of this creature and you’re going to pass some nasty hours of life. Its foam is poisonous.” He explained.

 “And what exactly are we going to do with it?” 

“Why, eat it!” Was his answer. “It’s our dinner.”

“You are not being serious, are you?”

“Believe me, with a nut of garlic butter and some secret spices only I know, it’s exquisite.”

She moved close to him, probably more than necessary. He shot an inquisitive look at her. She spoke as lower as she could so that Henry couldn't listen. “Are you trying to poison me, so that I can’t go to my appointment?”

He turned towards her and stared directly into her eyes, his face mere inches from hers. “Try something new, love, it’s called trust.” And he could sense a sudden shift in her behavior, even though he didn't know if it was because she was making an effort and opening her trust to him or if it was because they were standing so close he could feel her warm breath on his face. They stayed like that for a few beats of their hearts.

“Could you please stop making eyes at each other when I'm in the same room? It's gross.” Henry said behind them. 

Emma hurried back to the table “I don't do that”, she stated, while Killian tried to concentrate on the ingredients in front of him even if he couldn't suppress a smile. What the hell was with this woman that made him act like a teenager with his first crush?

As soon as the meal was prepared Killian served it on a metallic tray accompanied by some rehydrated vegetables. When all were served with their portion of food, he opened a bottle of yellow sauce and poured just the right amount on the plates. After that, he sat down waiting for his guests’ reactions.

Emma was fidgeting with her fork, moving pieces of food from one side of the plate to the other. 

Henry was the first one in giving in to it, always famished. “It's not bad at all!” He exclaimed enthusiastically. 

Killian put his right elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. He was staring expectantly at Emma.

“Okay, let's do this!” She breathed. And then she put a piece of meat in her mouth and closed her eyes, probably for savoring it better, or maybe for just not seeing what she was eating. After a couple of seconds, she emitted a sound that Killian would describe as a moan “God. This is delicious!” She purred.

Killian’s mouth fell open. He was conscious of ogling her and his pupils were probably already dilated, but he couldn't help himself.

As soon as Emma opened her eyes and met his, a bright red color flushed her cheeks, but Killian couldn't figure out if it was because she suddenly understood what she had just done, or because his inappropriate thoughts were written all over his face like an open book. 

“Guys, you're doing it again.” Henry managed to say with his mouth full of food without averting his eyes from his plate.

The rest of the dinner passed in awkward silence.

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~·~·~·~

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It was already dark when Emma emerged from her door, wearing a skin-tight black dress that left little to the imagination. A dark leather jacket that she wore hanging from one shoulder and high heels of the same color completed her outfit.

Killian was just walking from the main cabin to the ship's entrance when he stopped short: jaw dropped, admiring the vision before him. "You look stunning." He breathed.

He tried to move towards her as casually as possible, adjusting his trousers to relieve the sudden unpleasant pressure and praying to the gods that she didn't notice it. But of course, she did, if her quick look down and a sudden blush on her cheeks were any indication.

"Good." She exhaled not making eye contact with him. 

"Remind me why letting you go alone is a good idea." He spoke in a low voice at a cautious distance from her, restraining the urge to put a rebellious lock behind her ear.

"I can take care of myself." She stated finally looking defiantly in his eyes.

"I’m aware of that. But that Glass man, you don't know anything about him. Just be careful."

She swayed a bit towards him, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're being jealous." She was teasing him, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know it. But that wasn't the time to play that game, so he just gave her a warning look.

"Don't fuck it up." She smiled, and then she stepped next to him, invading him with her scent. She put her mouth to his ear and whispered: “And yes, the pun was intended.” 

With that, she turned back and made her exit through the main gate.

Bloody Hell! Killian thought.

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

As soon as Emma left the ship, Killian sat down at his control board and switched on his computer. He inserted the name of Sidney Glass and waited until he had all the results. He had already checked on the man several times, but he hadn’t found anything conclusive yet. Maybe there wasn’t anything to find out, but something inside him was telling him to keep looking.

Not much appeared on the screen. A bunch of local prizes for articles he had written years ago. Appearances in several news conferences on various planets. He didn’t seem to have a family and he had traveled a lot. 

This was frustrating. Sidney looked clean, this should have reassured him, and yet... But then two words appeared on the screen: "Lepka Industry". The man had worked for the Industry at an early age. It couldn't be a coincidence, could it? Killian thought.

What are you getting into? The LED light started to blink. 

“Not now, Liam.” Was Killian’s short answer.

If I were you, I would go back to Althea-Seals as soon as possible, deposit that woman and her lad safe at home, and forget about them forever. 

“Well, luckily, you’re not me.”

You don't know her, brother, you have no idea what troubles she could bring. And any connection with the Industry, even the most feeble one, means danger. You, of all people, should know that. Listen to me, Killian. Forget about her, before it's too late.

A voice inside Killian whispered to listen to his older brother, always with words of wisdom. But another voice, louder, was suggesting to ignore him. “Maybe it's already too late.” He sighed. .

.

~·~·~·~

.

.    And it was late, indeed. Literally. Too much for his likes. More than three hours had passed since Emma had gone out, and she hadn’t come back yet. Killian was starting to feel anxious. What if something had happened to her? And he was stuck on his ship, taking care of her son. He went to the kitchen counter and poured a glass of his favorite liquor. He stared at it but didn’t drink it. He shouldn't indulge in its temptation. Henry was sleeping just a door down from him.

He was still pondering the option of swallowing the amber liquid or not when Emma opened the main gate with the code Killian had previously given to her.

First thing inside she took off her high heeled shoes, balancing precariously on her wobbly legs. She looked very tired. 

 “I’m exhausted” she exhaled “and I had too many drinks.”

“How was your date?” He tried to ask nonchalantly. He didn't want to show her how annoyed he was, but he couldn't help a scowl.

“It wasn't a date.” Was her dry reply.

 He released a sarcastic chuckle.

 She watched him carefully, “Are you drunk?” 

“I would never do that while in charge of your boy, Swan.” His patience was hanging by a thread.

Emma approached him. Killian straightened his back and stared into her eyes, trying to keep control of the situation, and not wanting to give her the privilege of berating him without case, but his confidence had never intimidated her. She looked at the glass he was still holding and took it from his grasp drinking it down as if it were water. He was impressed, he knew his rum should have burned her throat. 

“You still haven't answered my question.” He insisted.

“I don't know.” Was her evasive answer.

“And what does that mean?” 

She shrugged. “I had some news, but not what I expected to hear.”

Bloody infuriating woman. Killian internally cursed. “Good or bad news?”

She exchanged the glass with the bottle on the counter and drank directly from that. “I don't want to talk right now.” She had no intention of divulging more information, it was clear in her posture. She was trying hard to maintain control over the situation.

He was not one to back down from a challenge. “And what do you want to do?”

At her lack of reply, he pressed “Did he touch you?”

She took another sip without averting her eyes from his, but without answering either.

To hell with personal space, he thought. With a quick movement, he took the bottle from her and deposited it in the sink, then he cornered her between himself and the kitchen counter. “Did you have fun, Princess?” He asked, mocking her royal title.

“You don't have a right to question my actions, Jones.”

“Believe me, I'm very well aware of it!” He stated, punctuating the last consonant, his face at mere inches from hers. The first thing Killian registered was that she lowered her eyes to his mouth. The second thing was that she vehemently grabbed the lapels of his vest. The third was the distinct sensation of her burning lips on his. And he had the clear impression that in the kiss she was putting all of her frustrations, and all of her hopes, and all of her exhaustion, and whatever other feeling she was experiencing.

It was frantic and desperate and hot. And Killian’s head was swirling: because of the lack of oxygen, because everything in her was intoxicating because he was already addicted and she was his drug.

“That was…” he murmured when they had to split up to recover some air.

But she didn't let him finish. “A one-time thing.” She disentangled from him and when she reached her cabin without looking back she said “goodnight Captain,” and disappeared behind the door. .

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

When Emma got out of bed the next morning, she had a dull headache from her hangover and a feeling that something was wrong. The ship was swaying, Killian had probably taken off during night, not wanting to waste other time to get home. Her mind immediately flew to him and the last moments of the previous day. 

She had kissed him. Why? What had she been thinking? She told herself that she had probably drunk more than she could handle and she shouldn't give it any importance, but would go on behaving towards Killian exactly as she had done before. Nothing would change. They were both adults and it had been just a kiss. 

But what a hell of a kiss it was. She couldn’t avoid thinking about it. 

She couldn't fool herself either. She felt attracted to him, and he was probably aware of it, too. With his self-confidence, his lean torso, his ever unkempt dark hair, and his scruffy stubble. But Emma was not one who easily surrendered to a man's charms. She didn't want to get lost in the ocean blue of his eyes. She wanted to be found. The problem was that she didn't know if she could trust him.

But it was not just the turmoil of a morning after that was bothering her, something wasn’t right, she could sense it. A shake and a loud noise confirmed her foreboding. Henry woke up with a start and they briefly looked at each other before bursting into the main cabin. “What was that?” They asked in unison.

The ship was shaking and Killian had visible difficulties keeping it stable. The knuckles of his right hand were white with the effort and his bionic hand was in an impossible position. Through the windows, they could spot a very close planet. 

The red LED was blinking and the metallic voice resounded in the cabin: Damages on the orbital maneuvering system and the vertical stabilizer, one of the propulsion engines is offline. I’m asking permission for landing, but I’m not getting any signals back.

Something shiny passed close to the ship. 

“Was that a meteorite?” Henry asked.

“I have no idea what that was. The moment we entered the gravitational layer of this bloody planet, those bright flying things appeared out of nowhere.” 

“Are we being attacked?” Was Emma’s worried question. “And why did we go so close to land?”

“There wasn’t supposed to be a planet here!” Killian was almost shouting from frustration.

Another loud bang shook the ship even worse.

“To hell with permissions! Hold tight, we’re landing over there.” He exclaimed, pointing to what looked like a spaceship's port.

Emma sat down on the same chair she used to sit at night. Then took Henry’s arm as an invitation to sit upon her knees and so Killian could keep doing his job without interference. The boy was already reaching for the man in his endless need to be helpful, he probably thought that he could give a hand in holding up the steering. But another flashing thing hit the ship and a piercing alarm started echoing through the cabin. That deterred Henry and he sat upon Emma’s lap, grabbing his mother's shoulders to avoid falling as a strong jolt shook the ship to its foundations. 

While they approached the ground, big rocks appeared outside the windows, floating, and they became incandescent as soon as they came in contact with whatever atmosphere was surrounding the planet. 

Was this land itself spitting meteorites? Killian tried to understand what was happening, but even if he had traveled to many different places, he had never seen anything like that. He was also worried about his crew, he wanted to look at them, be sure they were all right, but he was too concentrated on avoiding the rocks and not getting hit again.

The port was approaching fast. Killian internally prayed to the Gods above that the brakes would still work properly. He just hoped that someone could rescue the three of them alive.

After what seemed to be a long and quite difficult maneuver, the ship touched down. He turned off the engines and everything went silent. They looked at each other, waiting for a sign of life, but nothing came. Killian leaned his head against the back of the chair and exhaled. Then he got up and started rummaging through his belongings.

Emma and Henry were clinging to each other, but the boy slipped away and ran towards Killian hugging him. “You did it!” He exclaimed. The man was taken aback by this show of affection, he scratched a spot behind his right ear and tried to defuse “I’m a hell of a Captain!”

Killian took a shoulder bag from behind his hammock, and two laser pistols, delivering one of them to Emma. “What are you doing?” She asked, holding cautiously the weapon in her hand.

“We sent a request for an emergency landing and nobody answered. This planet does not appear in any known charts. I am taking the necessary precautions, it's best to be prepared for anything, good or bad.”

“I want a weapon, as well.” Henry stood there with his back straight and his hands on his hips, to reaffirm his statement. 

“No way.” Emma thought that was enough to put an end to the subject.

“But what if I’m in danger and I need to defend myself?” He insisted stubbornly.

Killian retrieved his automatic harpoon from a locker near the control dashboard. “Take this. Munitions should be downstairs.” But before Henry could run towards the stairs, he grabbed the boy’s elbow and added “Don’t use it unless it’s necessary, lad. And try not to hurt yourself.” Henry nodded and ran away enthusiastically. 

Stunned by the remark, Emma stood, mouth agape, staring at Killian. “Are you kidding me?”

“Don’t worry. It probably won’t work. I forgot to recharge it.”

“You forgot to recharge your weapon.” It wasn’t a question.

He was moving fast around the cabin, retrieving who knows what from here and there, packing his satchel “It was supposed to be a simple commercial trip: no big risks.” He stopped right in front of her and raised one eyebrow. “Wasn’t it?”

She looked at him chewing her bottom lip. “What are we going to do?”

“Go outside, have a look at the damages, find the replacement parts, and hope to come back home alive from this place.” 

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.    The planet seemed to be desert, apart from the port there was nothing, just sand, and rocks. No people on the horizon.

“This is strange,” Emma said as the three of them were exploring the surrounding area. “Can you feel it too?” A sense of oppression and discomfort pervaded her.

Killian nodded. “It’s too quiet. Something is wrong.”

A large stone flew from nowhere and Killian saw as Henry was right on its trajectory. He launched himself trying to protect the boy from the inevitable collision. The last thing he felt was a sharp pain in his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Then everything went black.

.

[eldritch-elrics]

i rewatched the entire ice age series and i have opinions

after rewatching some of the madagascar movies, me and @calocybe​ decided to embark on a quest to watch more animated series from our childhood. an obvious choice was ice age! so, i present to you: finn’s comprehensive ice age opinions masterpost.

read on for an in-depth review of each movie, my opinions on what the series does well (good animation, really fun chase scenes) and what it does not so well (manny is an awful protagonist), and some other things too (like my analysis of queerness in ice age)

first of all, a ranking of the five movies from best to worst:

ice age

dawn of the dinosaurs

collision course

the meltdown

continental drift

first movie

definitely the best

accidental baby acquisition…

it’s just a really good premise. three bros with completely different personalities are forced to work together towards a common goal that doesn’t even benefit any of them personally!

it’s silly and charming and well-written

diego’s arc is especially well-done and it’s easy to follow the way his personality and opinions change

my theory is that they made this movie because they wanted to show off how good they were at animating ice. most of the models and stuff are not very realistically rendered but the ice is honestly pretty impressive

honestly hilarious, has really good visual gags

one of my favorite parts is where they go into the ice cave and find like the ufo and stuff

also the baby does the vulcan hand sign at the ufo which was so subtle and REALLY funny

the ice slide scene. incredible

and then it transitions to the cave painting part with a fantastic depiction of manny’s backstory in a way that’s honestly heart-wrenching??

i wonder if the death of his own family is the cause of his annoying clinginess in later movies, especially with regards to peaches. unfortunately this never comes up again

there are some genuinely emotionally affecting moments in this movie, especially with the humans (when the human woman gives away her baby, when they return the baby to the group) - plus, kudos for conveying all that emotion with no dialogue

this is the only movie where manny’s emotional stuntedness is actually somewhat endearing rather than aggravating

this is also the movie with the most interesting villains - they feel like an especially relevant threat to the protags, and putting diego in with manny and sid creates both good tension and good humor

i wonder why the humans never came back. i think subsequent movies could have benefited from their presence, though i have no idea in what ways. not sure how they would’ve pulled it off but having the baby they rescued in the first movie appear as an adult in a later movie is a plot point that i think would have had the potential to be really powerful

second movie (the meltdown)

pretty underwhelming after the first movie

plot feels disjointed and the climax is weak

i feel like they were trying to go for this sort of found family vs nuclear family / reproductive futurism bent but didn’t entirely succeed and instead made the themes feel muddled. especially after the first movie which was all about rejecting heteronormative standards of family, having manny suddenly go “oop i’m the last mammoth better Reproduce” was a bit jarring

even if he isn’t actually the last mammoth, it feels like the wrong way to start a romance

in general the romance between ellie and manny isn’t very well-done in my opinion.

manny should’ve apologized for getting so offended when ellie freaked out about the pressure to save their species, but instead ellie apologized for “overreacting” for some reason???

number of biblical parallels: a surprising amount??

you’ve got. sid as a jesus figure to the sloth tribe, the ark saving them from the flood, scrat as moses??

the villains in this one were super boring they were just like… evil fish…

ok i’ve said too many mean things about this movie. to atone let me present this opinion: the scene where the vultures sing a parody of “food, glorious food” from oliver completely unprompted is one of the best moments in the series

also the possum brothers are wonderful

third movie (dawn of the dinosaurs)

this was my favorite as a kid!!

it’s still really good

it doesn’t take itself seriously and that’s wonderful. like… dinosaurs? in the ice age? objectively stupid plot. who cares

buck is the best character ever he’s so much fun

buck’s entire thing is also being a VERY cliche kooky adventurer but the way that they play with it and are self-aware about it makes it good

also i legitimately get chills at the scene where he explains his tragic backstory with rudy

god the romance with the female scrat is SO stupid but at least they’re clearly making fun of romantic tropes here

good team-building shenanigans, like the laughing gas sequence

there’s probably something to be said about the ways that family is portrayed in this movie but sorry i’m too busy looking at the scene where they get swallowed by a giant plant and buck has to like cut its veins like he’s diffusing a bomb

also i do need to mention that the scene where they find the carnage of sid’s attempt at feeding vegetables to the dino babies and buck goes off on his whole silly detective-shtick about what must’ve happened (“leaving broccoli… a vegetable!!!”) was my favorite scene in the series as a kid. it’s so wonderfully absurd!

there are a surprising amount of dick jokes in this movie? and by that i mean like 2 but. it’s really funny rewatching this and going “holy shit”

there’s also a joke about a butterfly dude that i’m pretty sure is a trans joke (“i knew that guy as a caterpillar! yknow, before he came out”) so that was also pretty funny

this movie parallels the first 2 by 1. having sid take care of kids and 2. having a group of creatures who copy all of sid’s wacky movements. i don’t have anything more to say i just think that’s funny

buck and rudy are kismeses send tweet

fourth movie (continental drift)

yeah okay this one’s the worst

it takes itself too seriously and that is its downfall

feels tonally off from the other ones

i saw this movie during the height of my hyperfixation on plate tectonics and i remember being very offended at the fact that they made such a mockery of the way it actually worked… :pensive:

(granted, poorly-done science is a cornerstone of ice age, so i can’t really say shit)

anyway this one really felt like a jumble of cliches. the enemies-to-lovers thing with diego! peaches’ teenager problems! manny’s troubles of raising a teenager! all the mean girls! evil pirates! sirens! woooo!

it just didn’t feel all that original and it didn’t play with the tropes like 3 did

what is it in this series with guys not apologizing for their sexism and then getting the girl anyway

also wow. damsels in distress much

sheera’s design is also such a generic “female animal” look

the ape dude was a boring villain and too much of the movie focused on the pirates

okay BUT the sea shanty scene slapped. had some good rhythm and clever lyrics

lewis was good and i’m glad he stayed friends with peaches

the water was well-animated! maybe they made this movie so they could show off how good they were at rendering water

the chipmunk creatures on the island are like knockoff minions/ewoks

in general this movie felt way less funny than the others. less punchy dialogue

fifth movie (collision course)

solidly in the middle of my movie ranking. not as good as 1 or 3, better than 2 and 4

this was my first time seeing this movie! which means that my view of it isn’t colored by nostalgia, and also that i have a lot more to say about it i guess

first of all it’s wild to see how much the animation has progressed… this one was so well-rendered wow

i liked this one a lot more than i expected to! it was a good time, and, like 3, didn’t take itself seriously, which is always great

the whole thing is built off a lot of bullshit science which offends my inner scifi nerd BUT i think they pulled it off quite well

the fact that they got neil degrasse tyson to do voiceovers is just so funny

they’ve firmly established by now that the ice age universe can fully ignore the laws of science when it wants to, especially with regards to scrat and his butterfly-effect influence on the world

okay buckle up because i have a lot to say about scrat actually.

scrat’s ability to influence the universe has been steadily increasing as the series goes on, so it made sense that he would be the catalyst for the apocalypse in this one

and also the catalyst for the creation of the solar system i guess?? which was very stupid. i say that in an endearing way. that beginning scene was super fun & wacky

absolutely brilliant way to bring the ufo from movie 1 back btw

ok so the prophecy tablet thing that buck brings back? he finds it by pressing a button with the outline of an acorn on it and that’s very interesting to me

at that point in the movie i was really invested because i thought that scrat and the protagonists were finally going to be forced to confront each other on the same level. the idea that ice age might finally break its unwritten rule of “the protags can never know scrat as the force of global change that he really is” was legitimately exciting to me, and it seemed appropriate for the last movie in the franchise

unfortunately this did not happen. scrat just keeps doing his silly scrat shenanigans

um anyway let’s talk about some of the other characters!

manny continues to suck. more on this in the “low points as a franchise” section

peaches was actually really good in this one! she’s grown out of her “teenage stereotype” phase and into a character with a believable narrative about growing up and moving out.

her boyfriend is adorable and i was surprised to discover i actually liked their relationship!

sid did not need to be paired off though. neither did diego. what is up with kids’ movies and their shallow heterosexual romances

buck is back and he is fruitier than ever

man i really like buck. he’s so silly and irreverent and flamboyant and it’s like kind of embarrassing to watch sometimes but it’s ok he’s just doing his own thing

the villains were pretty good in this one. i liked how the female dino didn’t have a stereotypically feminine design

on an entirely different topic: let’s talk about the aesthetic direction!

the scifi thing was super fun. like, absolutely wild for a series about the ice age, but whatever. i like scifi

like the whole superpower magnetism shit, especially the scene in the forest? great! especially reminiscent of the climax of the guardians of ga’hoole movie

however the whole dive into the crystal cave environment was a lil tonally dissonant and i think it should have been cut (introduced an entire new world/characters way too late in the plot and didn’t have time to develop them enough, went too far down the rabbit hole of magic healing crystals jokes and all that stuff which didn’t seem to relate to the rest of the story at all, introduced a fun but unnecessary girlfriend for sid, the time could have been better spent making fun of more scifi tropes and developing the villains)

brooke the sloth girl is just miranda from the tempest change my mind also that climax is on a similar level of stupid as that one episode from hoshi no kaabii where they deflect an an entire asteroid using uhhhh cannons i think

but it’s like. whatever. they’ve fucked around with science enough that they deserve this

also i just realized there were no chase scenes in this movie which is so sad??

so there are my thoughts on the individual movies. let’s talk about it as a whole!

high points as a franchise

this series consistently has VERY good chase scenes

just top-tier chase scenes with excellent comedic timing and general pacing

3 is so good because it has a chase as the climax, and that’s what ice age is good at

4 is bad because it doesn’t have a proper chase anywhere!

the animation is really good. by that i mean less like the models are realistic and more that they’re great at conveying emotion and body language through animation

like this is especially true in 1 if you look at the difference between the sort of smooth, not very realistic animation of the humans vs… scrat

like they’ve got the way scrat moves down so well it’s delightful

the movies are, generally, funny

there are good messages about found family, especially in the first couple

low points as a franchise

alright i had a bunch of these written out as universal truths about the series and then 5 actually improved on many of them! so here are some criticisms that apply to the first four movies only:

just… every single female character? they deserve better

too many damsels in distress

all the fat jokes about manny are so unnecessary

the romances are really boring and not very well-written or believable

okay with those out of the way here’s the real biggest issue with the series: manny is an awful protagonist

heterosexual “no fun allowed” man

they keep him sucky so he can have a fresh new character flaw to be worked on in the next movie but that seems like a bad formula for character development, especially how many of his character flaws seem to be related to mistreating the women in his life

the man’s got a major possessiveness issue

he is just the archetypical slightly shitty husband/dad who forgets the anniversary and doesn’t let his daughter see boys and calls women hysterical and yes he does get better at each of the individual problems and he does love his family but that development feels so shallow!

manny is absolutely making AITA posts and getting labeled the asshole

it also feels like he never truly learns from his mistakes. he needs to be learning to apologize properly and most importantly to communicate properly! there’s so little emotional reality to his development and the script always seems to give him the benefit of the doubt when he doesn’t deserve it.

plus, this series is meant for kids and i just don’t think manny is an appropriate or relatable protagonist for that audience?

on a mostly unrelated note, yes i do like the found family themes but when it starts pairing up every single character and implying that all of them are gonna be monogamous het couples and have kids and conform to the nuclear family model. that’s pretty sad

some more random thoughts

my dad once said that ice age fails as a franchise because the premise of the first movie was not strong enough to support sequels. i think i kind of agree - you can see in 2 they’re trying to worldbuild off what little they established in the first movie, and also set up a bigger cast of characters, while still keeping up the “man vs nature” theme that’s such a cornerstone of the series.

i’m not sure they completely succeed. the worldbuilding of ice age isn’t necessarily weak but i do think they could have done more to round out the world and make it feel less like just a prehistoric clone of ours

there’s something about the first movie that makes it feel like a moment suspended in time. we don’t learn very much about the pasts of the characters and they get enough development in one movie that we (or at least i) don’t feel any desperate need to know their futures. it feels complete!

so in all the other movies are working with a set of characters who have ostensibly completed their development. so in each new movie, they need to give the characters more problems. usually this comes from external factors, like new characters. a couple times they do a pretty good job introducing new internal problems for the characters - diego’s quest to get over his fear of water was a pretty good one i thought.

but after a while the main trio just stagnates. diego, once the most compelling character, becomes pretty boring. he doesn’t have anything to do anymore. i’ve already talked about manny - each movie he reverts back into an asshole and it gets old so fast. sid’s a little better; he’s got issues with his family and a desire for a family of his own and all that, but more often than not the conclusions to his arcs are unsatisfying

sid plays the role of the character who’s doomed to never get exactly what he wants, except, like, in a way that’s supposed to be funny. we pity him!

i think he has some archetype parallels with escargon from hoshi no kaabii (why do i keep mentioning hoshi no kaabii) but i am not going into that here oh boy

i feel like i’m juggling a lot in my head right now, but sid’s position as the comedic scapegoat is interesting. i’m sure there’s more to unpack here but i’ve already gone way too deep into this series

there’s also more to unpack when you consider his queercoding hmm

anyway, on that note…

additional thesis: sid the sloth is queer-coded

complicated relationship with family (they hate him and think he’s useless)

lispy voice

cares about “fem” things like children. takes care of kids in both movies 1 and 3. calls himself “mama”

gets pushed into the role of caring for the kid in 1

makes vaguely gay comments at his male friends, like “you have beautiful eyes” to manny

there are literally so many jokes in the first movie like. diego’s “you guys are an odd couple” to manny and sid

that whole part in 4 where he’s trying to kiss the sirens and kisses diego instead and is like “wow romantic”

not interested in the idea of a nuclear/traditional family. see his shenanigans with the dino babies

he is interested in women throughout the series though (bi rights)

5 especially tunes down the queercoding and tunes up the “awkward guy who can’t get girls” angle

so. ice age. is it fun? yes! i definitely enjoyed rewatching the series with my friend. and kids will probably get a kick out of the slapstick and silly dialogue. but if you’re not a kid and looking to (re)watch any of them, i’d probably just stick to the first one.

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Somos Familia Ch 45: Shantytown

The flight wasn’t a long one given how surprisingly fast Frangipani was able to fly, and soon she descended down upon an ancient Aztec pyramid. Unlike the rest of the city, with its dazzling lights and colors, the pyramid was cold and void of anything magical. Pieces had chipped and crumbled off and there was an ominous presence in the air. For the first time since coming to the Land of the Dead, Héctor finally felt like he was in a place of devoid of life.

In a show of good grace Frangipani did not let Héctor make a fool of himself by trying to climb down her side since it was such a hassle getting up. Instead she slowly shrank herself like a deflating balloon until she was the size of housecat, prancing off between his and Leti’s legs with Dante happily trailing after and barking at his friend. Héctor was grateful for that, but Frangipani’s large mass had done it’s damage and he was left with a huge case of saddle soreness. He wobbled around bowlegged trying to work out the kinks in his legs, wincing and hissing with each step.

Hearing Leti giggle at his predicament, Héctor gave her a playful glare. “Don’t laugh. I’ve got old bones.”

Leti shook her head with a smile. “You’ve got old muscles. Once we get down to Shantytown, then you’ll really see some old bones.”

“Shantytown, eh?” Héctor asked warily, stretching his leg out one final time as he peered down into the dark shadows below. He could hear water splashing faintly against the rocks and could already smell the mildew from all the way up top. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Ernesto is down there?”

“Uh huh!” Leti nodded, “Every Dia de Muertos Tio Nesto always gives a portion of his offerings to the people of Shantytown. And he always makes a grand speech and visits with everyone. He’s definitely down there!”

Héctor remembered well how he could usually tell that his daughter was lying. She would always talk extra brightly, smile just a little too widely. This time was no exception, and her new skeletal grin just made her smile wore wider. Or rather, this time it was like a lie mixed with the truth. Apparently this would be something Ernesto would do; he was sometimes charitable in life. Not as much as he and Imelda were, but for Ernesto each charitable moment was a triumph in his opinion.

“Okay.” Héctor nodded, grimacing again at the bleak murkiness below. “Seems kind of shady though.”

“Oh, I’ve been here loads of times, Papá.” Leti reassured him. “It may look scary and depressing… well it is depressing, but the people here are more friendly than anyone else. You’ll see. And we’ll get down that way.”

Héctor looked over to where she was pointing and gave a soft ‘huh’ in surprise. There, situated at the top of this ancient pyramid, was an escalator. It stood out against it’s surrounding so badly that Héctor felt stupid for not noticing it sooner. Seeing her father’s confusion Leti explained. “Oh, Tio Nesto had that installed a few years ago. Comes in handy, especially those with brittle bones.”

Héctor was puzzled. “You can still get brittle bones after you’re dead?”

“Oh sure.” Leti said. “Brittle, broken, ground to powder, stolen, misplaced. Just depends on how long you’ve been dead of if you are being forgotten. But anyway, the escalator helps those kind of people in need. Come on!”

All four of them walked toward the top of the moving staircase, Frangipani shrinking even more to her initial tiny size before plopping down onto Leti’s shoulder. Before Leti could reach for the handrail, however, a high-pitched whine stopped them. Turning back around they saw Dante sitting several feet away from them, head lowered and eyes looking pitifully afraid. A click of the tongue could not get him to budge, nor did the gently nudge from behind when Héctor went to fetch him. Dante just kept looking wide-eyed at the grinding metal plates before him, just waiting to slice of sensitive pads of the feet.

“Aww, he’s afraid of the escalator Papá.” Leti cooed, and even Frangipani gave a simpering little toot of compassion. “Looks like you’re going to have to carry him the whole way down.”

“Wha-?” Héctor started to protest, but three pairs of huge pouting eyes stopped him from saying anymore. With a groan of disgust he reached down to pick up Dante, difficult to do due his bony limbs and squirming body, but finally was able to hold him in an awkward spooning position. “Happy now, pelón?” he asked, and his answer was a happy slurp across the cheek.

It must have been a sight to see: A guitar-wielding old man carrying a dog like a small child, while with his skeleton daughter had an elephant on her shoulder, all riding down an escalator in awkward silence. It actually was pretty funny of one thought about it. Luckily, no one was there to see them, at least until midway down the giant pyramid. On the opposite escalator going up Héctor could see two figures emerging from the mist. Leti did too and with a gasp of surprise she started to wave. “Mama Chavela! Mama Rocío! Como estas?!”

“Hola, nieta!”

As the two parties drew closer together, Héctor saw that they were two skeletal old ladies. Both were dressed in faded gowns that looks as though they had been patched and mended several times over the years. Both were holding two baskets each that were overflowing with breads, fruits and vegetables and one lady had a small guitar strapped to her back.

Even closer still Héctor could see that these ladies were not like the skeletons he had already seen. Instead of the clean pearly white bones he had come accustomed to, these bones were dull and gray. And, just like Leti had said before, some places were chipped off and scratched. One woman even had part on her jaw broken off and held in place with a strand of wire. Héctor was slightly taken aback by the ladies run down looks, but Leti paid them no mind.

“Looks like you both got a good haul this year!” she said.

“Oh yes! We’re on our way to the trade show right now while the good items are still out.” One of the ladies said, shifting the baskets onto her hipbones for more support.

“Who’s your handsome young friend, Leticia?” The other asked.

“This is my Papá! He’s been cursed and we need to get a blessing from Tio Nesto or else he’ll die at sunrise.”

“Oh that’s nice dear.”

“Have fun tonight!”

“Adios!” Leti waved them goodbye as they finally passed each other up. Continuing down on their journey, Leti shrugged a little. “They’re a little batty, but still very nice. And Mama Rocío makes the best Shantytown ponche for Los Posadas.”

“Why did they call you nieta?” Héctor asked.

“Oh, heh. It’s just a term of endearment.” Leti said. “See, Shantytown is full of the nearly forgotten. They have no family, no ofrendas, no homes. So they all bundled together and made their own family with each other. And I’m an honorary member since I’m not forgotten yet, but I come here all the time.”

“So those ladies looked like that because they’re nearly forgotten.”

“Si. This whole place runs on memories, Papá. The more well remembered you are the longer you get to stay here. But, in the end, if no one remembers you… You just… go…”

The way Leti trailed off, so sad all of a sudden, didn’t sit well with Héctor at all. In fact he was starting to grow afraid. “Go where?” he was hesitant to ask.

“No one knows.” she said. “It’s called the Final Death.”

“Wait a minute! You can die again?!” Héctor was appalled. “No! I… I couldn’t watch you die again! I can’t.”

“Everyone gets forgotten eventually, Papá.” Leti reassured, and then actually had the nerve to get a little cocky. “Besides, I’m the tragic daughter lost from one of the richest families in Mexico. I’ll stick around for a while yet.”

It didn’t seem to make sense to Héctor at all, the way everyone was so nonchalant about the fact that they were dead and could die again at the drop of a hat. Even his own daughter was making jokes about it. If he were the one on the verge of being forgotten he would be an inconsolable mess, probably unable to do anything other than curl up in a ball and wait for the inevitable.

But as they reached the end of the escalator he was surprised to see that Shantytown didn’t look like the wretched, miserable place that it looked from above the mists. There was loud music playing, unfortunately, and laughter and all other sorts of rabble. Behind the giant stone arch there were bright lights shining through and Héctor could see papel picado hung up. Confetti and golden flower petals were strewn about all over the ground.

And there was one other thing.

Shantytown actually looked… nice.

It was on the water, which explained the musky smell, but the houses there were less like shanties and more like riverside condos. Several floors high and stacked as haphazardly as every other building in this realm, but much more sturdy. All painted a warm brown color and with beautiful murals on every other wall, high archways and clean clay tiles on the roofs.

The was a walkway that wove through the water and connected all of the houses together, made out of concrete and cobblestones with lamps illuminating the way down. All in all it looked like a very nice place to live and a realtor’s dream location.

Again, Héctor was confused. “Uh… Shanty-town?”

Leti nodded. “Yeah, the name has stuck but believe me that this place was worse years ago. Rotting wood and pallets, rusted sheet metal, garbage everywhere. It was a terrible place to spend the last few days before the Final Death. But Tio Nesto got several other celebrities and wealthy citizens to pitch in and completely remodel the place!”

“It’s very nice.” Héctor admitted as he put Dante down on the ground. As he released him Héctor grimaced when he looked at his hands. The were completely skeletal now and reaching well past the wrist.

Leti smiled appreciatively, but then sniffed the air like a snob. “Well, I still say it’s a work in progress.” And Héctor laughed at that.

Several skeletons wandered all over it, going to neighbors houses with arms full of the same offerings as the two old ladies. They all seemed to be converging onto one spot in the middle of town, though. It was a much larger area, but still too small to be considered a plaza, but big enough to hold a huge pile of offerings stacked as high as some of the buildings. An absolute mammoth amount of bread, vegetables and fruits, cooked meats and musical instruments piled in a somewhat strategic manner so that it didn’t topple into the water below. But it was clear that it had been slowly picked away as the minutes passed, and currently there were around a dozen other Shantytown skeletons situated around it passing out offerings.

“Oye, Paola. I managed to save you some grapefruit this time. I know you missed out on them last year.”

“Three guitars? What are you trying to do, Primo? Start a band? Have some more food instead.”

“Señor de la Cruz must hate bananas because we’ve got tons of them! Caramelize ‘em, mash ‘em, make ‘em into bread. A very versatile fruit, c’mon don’t be shy!”

‘He does hate bananas’ Héctor thought with a wry grin. ‘No wonder he’d give them all away-… Wait.’

“This is a lot of offerings.” Héctor said as he watched a small boy tuck in eagerly to the shiny red apple that was atop his own pile of goodies. “I’m surprised he’d just give it all away.”

“Nah, just a tiny bit.” Leti said. “But, in Tio Nesto’s case, a tiny bit means an entire mountain! Speaking of… Oye, Tío Jaime!”

One of the skeletons handing out offerings, who was no older than twenty but looked like he had osteoporosis in every visible bone, smiled as Leti came up to him. “Hola, Leti. You’re here awful early tonight. Did you already visit your family?”

“Si, but not as long as I would have liked. As you can see…” She gestured to Héctor, and when Jaime looked towards him his eyes bugged out a little. “…I have a bit of a problem.”

“Santa Maria…” Jaime breathed out, and soon every skeleton was looking at Héctor again astonishment. A couple of jaws even fell off and splashed into the water. Héctor just cringed out a smile and waved to them all. “Espera… Is that Héctor Rivera? Your papá?”

Leti walked to Héctor and grabbed him by the wrist to hold his hand up as high as she could, showing off the shiny white bones that were exposed. “My papá has been cursed, and he needs a blessing from Tio Nesto before sunrise. Is he still here?”

Jaime winced and shrugged his shoulder, making an unsettling crack and pop at the slight movement. “Sorry, Leti. He was here, but after he presented us with his offerings he left. That was about half an hour ago, so he’s probably off to the party at his mansion.”

Héctor felt his chest sink at the thought that the trip to Shantytown had been a complete waste of time and now he was more cursed than before. Rolling up his sleeve he groaned at the sight of his ulna and radius making an unwelcome appearance. Bending down to Leti’s height he whispered into her phantom ear. “Mija, the curse is spreading pretty quickly. Maybe we ought to hurry things up and-”

“Well shucks!” Leti placed her hands onto her hips and comically pouted. “Looks like he’s gone already! Isn’t that just the luck? Phooey!” Then she looked up and gave Héctor a cloyingly sweet smile with too many teeth. “Before we go though, can we go see a friend of mine?”

Héctor blinked in confusion, then held out his bare arm for Leti to see. “Leticia, I don’t have time to see anyone else. I need to see Ernesto.”

Grabbing his hand and already starting to tug him away from the pile, Leti just waved him off. “Sunrise isn’t for another five and a half hours, and this will only take a few minutes. While we’re here we might as well make the most of it. Kill two birds with one stone, si?

“Two birds? What’s the second bird? Wait a moment! Leticia!”

Despite the dangerous nature of the situation Héctor let himself be dragged a ways by Leti as well as pushed by Dante and Frangipani. Maybe it was because he had just been reunited with his long dead daughter and could refuse her nothing at the moment. Maybe he was slightly curious to see what other new discovery awaited him in this new and exciting environment. But the real reason, probably, was because Héctor was somewhat desperate for any excuse to not see Ernesto as soon as possible. He didn���t want to think what would happen if he did lay eyes on him.

As they continued on Héctor could see where the restoration of Shantytown had stopped. The pristine building transitioned to scaffolding, paint buckets and blocks of concrete with yellow warning tape wrapped around it. All abandoned in favor of the holiday, Héctor presumed.

And past that was the slum that Héctor had in mind.

It was just as Leti had said: Rotting wood and rusted metal. The only thing that had been completed and stood out like a sour thumb was the walkway they were on, but even then the shanties were connected to it by moldy, broken planks. Leti just shrugged up at Héctor. “I told you it was a work in progress.”

With a skip and a wobbly jump they all made it into one such shanty, Leti knocking on the wooden wall and pulling open a moth-eaten blanket that served as a divider to the one room home.

“Buenas noches, Nieve! I thought I might find you here!”

“Of course you found me here.” A sullen female voice said. “Where else would I be?”

Holding up one finger to tell Héctor to wait there, Leti walked further in with a giggle. “Well, you could be out there getting some of Tio Nesto’s offerings. You’d better hurry before all the grapes are gone. You love grapes.”

Now Héctor was really curious as to see who his daughter was talking to and why. Staying put he carefully pulled back the curtain slightly to peek out. Standing there with Leti was another young girl, a teenage one at that, standing by an open window looking out. She was wearing a tattered blue shirt, a gray skirt and a dingy straw hat. She was barefoot and a little dirty, but Héctor noticed that she didn’t seem as run down as everyone else in Shantytown. Her bones were still a nice cream color.

But her eyes. They looked so sad and angry all at once. And they held a wisdom in them that only came with either a rough life or, given her young stature the passage of time. Héctor knew that he was really looking at an old soul. An elderly woman trapped in the body of a child. She had been dead for quite a while.

“I don’t want any of that stuff, I just want to be alone tonight.” the girl, Nieve apparently, said. “Why are you here anyway? Why aren’t you with your family?”

Leti shuffled her shoes against the dirty floorboards and smiled. “Oh you know, some stuff happened. One thing led to another, that sort of thing. But I get it: You don’t want any of Tio Nesto’s offerings. But it is Dia de Muertos, and everyone deserves a little something, sooo… I brought you an offering of my own!”

Nieve then turned to her, and Héctor saw her look at Leti in anger. “You didn’t go to my ofrenda, did you? I told you I want nothing to do with that man or anything else he gives me.”

‘Ah, so that’s why she’s different.’ Héctor thought. ‘She’s not being forgotten. But then… why is she here?’

“No, no!” Leti reassured her. “I would never do that to you! No, but my offering is a man. Someone I know you’ve been dying to meet for years, figuratively speaking.” Walking back to the curtain Leti pulled it aside to show Héctor in full form. “Okay, you can come in now.”

Héctor walked slowly, not wanting to shock the poor girl with the sight of a living, fleshed out man. Nieve was slightly taken aback by his appearance at first, but then recognition kicked in and the girl’s eyes widened. She just stared at him in shock, not saying a word. Héctor shifted the guitar on his back awkwardly and gave a small grin. “Hola.”

She still said nothing. Just stared at him some more in amazement and a little fear.

“Nieve, let me introduce you to my Papá, Héctor Rivera.” Leti said as she pulled Héctor closer to Nieve. “Papá, this is Nieve Mendoza, and she is a very close friend of mine! And she’s always asking about you constantly!”

“Oh, I see.” “Héctor said. “Are you a fan?”

That seemed to jumpstart Nieve’s brain, and she croaked out. “N-no, I’m just… are you dead?”

“Nope, just cursed!” Leti said. “We have to get Tio Nesto’s blessing but sunrise or else he’ll be stuck here.” Raising up Héctor’s wrist again, she showed Nieve his bony hand. “See?”

Anger came back full force and Nieve hissed out, “You idiot! He’s on a timeclock and you waste his time by coming here. You need to get him to de la Cruz now before it’s too late!”

Leti was crushed. “But I thought you said you wanted to see him as soon as got here! Well now he’s here!”

“Never mind what I want! He needs to get a blessing now! So get out, both of you!”

“But don’t you want to talk to him?”

“No! I don’t!”

“Please, Abuelita! He’s your-”

“BASTA!”

……..

……..

There was a silence that hung heavy in the air now, both girls panting softly and both looking at Héctor with trepidation. Héctor was now shocked into silence, his mind not quite working out what was happening in such a short amount of time. Nieve pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed harshly. “Leticia…”

“I’m so sorry, Nieve!” Leti said. “I didn’t mean to call you Abuelita. It just slipped out!”

Nieve glared hard at Leti. “Oh really? Because this is the first time in twenty years that you have ever called me Abuelita.”

“Oh, is it? Well then… oops?” Leti smiled widely, in that way Héctor remembered she used to do when caught in a lie.

“You little…” Nieve growled.

“Another term of endearment, mija?” Héctor asked.

Both girls looked at him, and Héctor grinned nervously. “Th-that’s what that was right? Because everyone in Shantytown is just one big family with different rolls and such… And it’s funny! Because you called her your grandmother even though she’s so young, right? I mean… Why else would you call her… that?”

Nieve didn’t look him in the eye anymore, couldn’t. She just stared down at the floor, looking sad and thoroughly ashamed. Leti bit her bottom lip and also couldn’t meet his eyes. Héctor still felt the smile on his face, but he could also feel the blood draining from it too. And suddenly it was hard to breathe.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Leti whispered and rushed out of the shanty as fast as she could.

Héctor didn’t even notice. He just kept staring at this young girl in front of him, looking at every detail of her face to find… he didn’t exactly know what. Similarities? It was hard since she didn’t have any skin to look for dimples or curves of lips or anything like that.

She did have sharp cheekbones, though. Just like he did…

Finally Nieve looked up at him, her features schooled into a more neutral expression. Bending down she picked up an old wooden crate, walked over to him, and set it down in front of him. Then she turned back to the window and leaned against the railing. The exact same position that he first saw her in.

“Have a seat…”

[toonytoodles]

Random fun fact time! Ft. OCs! (Repost because I added more/ edited a lot of stuff)

Avery -

- Sneezes like a kitten, and most of the time she accidentally uses her fire breathe when she sneezes, so watch out

- Sleeps on a rock

- Is made uncomfortable by actual dragons, it's just... too weird for her...

- Has a strange and inexplicable extreme fear of eels

- Reacts to fear by singing/humming/speaking very loudly, and also by running and screaming (basically, how markilpler acts when playing horror games? yeah that)

- At least once a week her dad has to help her brush through her hair, he says they should get it cut but she absolutely refuses

- Owns a few pairs of gloves- most of which look nearly identical. Some are for different days, some pairs are for bedtime, and some are for special occasions, but she also has some different types and styles of gloves for different events

- Loves the holidays, dislikes the weather that comes with it

- Absolutely hates people touching/messing with her tail, even if it's by accident she gets kinda mad. That's hers- don't touch it. (Emma's the only exception to this simply because it can't be avoided- although Emma does try to touch it as little as possible)

- Slightly allergic to pollen

- She has a clicking-like purr

- If you scratch under her chin she'll purr and relax, but if scratch a certain spot on her neck she'll sleepily fall over

- Adopted as an egg and raised by her human father and fairy mother

- Has a Scottish accent 

- Works as a Glazier (glass blower) and makes potion bottles, also helps with making the potions, and occasionally costumer service and boring stuff like stocking/inventory

Emma -

- Plays with hoodie strings and/or hair when upset or nervous (it happens often, her hoodie strings are sorta worn out)

- She's a big fan of animals! Especially bears, puppies, and unicorns, she thinks they're adorable! When she was younger she used to like dragons quite a bit too

- She's a protective friend and big sister, and she's a little over protective over people she cares about

- Tends to read into things; if your tone or demeanor is slightly different she begins worrying that something's wrong or that she did something. She also tends to believe that no one actually wants to be her friend or wants to be nice to her, but that they're only being nice because they're afraid of her or pity her.

- LOVES HUGS!!! Absolutely loves them, hugging other giants, hugging people smaller than her, getting hugs, giving hugs, she loves hugs

- Once accidentally ate a fake candy cane decoration, off someone's front lawn, because she thought it was real gigantic candy, left out for giants (she was like four, so it made sense to her then, but she still gets made fun for it a bit by her family)

- Loves snow and winter

- Her favorite color is probably blue

- Is surprisingly good at sneaking up on people, for someone 30ft tall she's quiter than most borrowers

- Is the second oldest of five kids, her older brother Rory is 23, her younger brother Richard is 15, and her youngest sisters Aroura and Tiana are 6 and 8, and they're all pretty close

- Her dad is a size shifter, and so are Richard and Tiana, the rest of the family are giants

- She's ambidextrous

- Very cautious of her surroundings

- Hates surprises/being scared

- Bi-romantic and ace

Sofia -

- Can write without looking at what she's doing

- Only wears slip on shoes or shoes with Velcro/zippers, she never learned how to tie them, she couldn't figure out what to do with her head or look at what she was doing

- She's an artist! She likes to paint!

- Has a hard time saying "no," so when she says it, she means it

- Hates surprises and people sneaking up on her

- Has a pet python named Albert

- Probably the only person on the planet who has worse anxiety than Emma

- Don't call her "Soph" or "Sophie," and she gets mildly annoyed when her name is misspelled

- Typically uses right arm to carry head and left hand for everything else

- Has a weird sense of humor

- Has a million stuffed animals, has like 20 on her bed, but Rupert the blue bunny is her favorite

- She has an enchanted scarf that allows her to wear her head when needed, she doesn't usually use it because she's not used to it & it gives her anxiety (she's scared of the scarf falling off/being taken off unexpectedly) but she has it and uses it on occasion, mostly at home

- She doesn't let anyone else hold her head, it seriously freaks her out, her dad is the only exception, but Avery held her once for a group photo (her body took the picture)

-She loves singing and has a soft beautiful voice but is too shy to sing around anyone 🎶

- She was bullied when she was younger and doesn't like to talk about it, she already gets emotional easily and those memories hurt

- She loves Avery's jokes and has a bit of a weird sense of humor

- She's adopted, she lives with her human father (another fun fact, her dad is one of Avery's parents best friends!)

- Unlike Avery, she wasn't adopted as a baby, she was about 6-7ish when she was adopted

- Loves vegetables

- Gets embarrassed easily

- Doesn't go out of her comfort zone, she only does stuff when Avery basically forces her to

- She really likes Emma, but is also sorta scared of her sometimes, she's just scared of people and being looked at, so she can be a little overwhelming without meaning to be, it's nothing personal and she knows Emma wouldn't hurt a fly, she's just scared of people and sometimes Emma is a lot of person

- Doesn't want Emma to hold her (Emma respects it, although sometimes they work it out to where Emma can give her a gentle hug)

-Her favorite season is fall

-She loves rabbits and frogs, but won't admit she loves horses (there's a stereotype that all dullahans love horses, she won't give in)

-Hates confrontation

-Loves vanilla cake

-Hates strangers and people she's not comfortable around being anywhere near her

- Pansexual

- Sorta has a voice claim, but it's weird and sorta difficult to explain?

Andie -

- Has a French accent (picked it up from dad)

- One of my only OCs to have a voice claim

- Plays the flute

- Mean, selfish, and self centered, but somehow also a good person

- Sings sentences sometimes

- Scared of turtles

- Works as a bard/waitress at the family tavern

- Unfortunately she is heterosexual

Andy -

- Somehow didn't pick up their fathers accent

- One of my only OCs to have a voice claim

- Plates the lute

- Genuine and kind hearted, but also a bumbling moron

- Dreams of being a song writer, wants to be a professional musician

- Works as a bard/waiter at the family tavern

- Bi, but prefers women

Clementine -

- A book worm

- Likes to sing

- Practices magic, knows a few interesting spells

- Sometimes her and Avery fight over magic usage vs. potion usage (they know it's a dumb fight, but they don't care, at this point it's a joke)

- She's a white tailed deer

- She has great hearing, and is usually very aware of her surroundings

- She wants to be a magic professor as an adult

- Demisexual, pan, but prefers men

Pond-

- Elementals don't really have gender, she chooses to present as female and use female pronouns

- Can't "see," but rather senses vibrations, since she's made out of water she doesn't have eyes, but based on other senses she can get around just fine

- She can't smell either

- Doesn't care for romance

- Has 4 pet fish she keeps with her, named Karl, Frank, Phillip, and Fish

- She has a baby sister, Brook

- She's odd and can be off putting unless you know her pretty well, then her weirdness is sort of endearing

- She can tell her friends apart by the way they walk and their gestures, and of course their voices, but really has no idea what any of them look like, she knows their species and the normal traits of those species, but not much outside that

- She doesn't eat or drink

- Smart, but sorta reckless

- Sorta hard to hug :( but the others still try

Sapphire -

- Has minimal size shifting abilities, but prefers to be her true size, she loves sitting on her husband's shoulders or in his pockets (She's about 5ft in her bigger form)

- Used to be an adventurer, at one point she was a pirate

- Met her husband on one of her adventures

- Has a Scottish accent

- She has a sword her size (no it's not a toothpick or a toy or anything, she has an actual tiny sword) 🗡

- Makes potions for the shop and deals with customers

- Grew up outside of Tradeskeep, her and Kal retired from their adventuring career and settled down there

Kalvin -

- Used to be an adventurer/ mercenary

- Huge, ripped, has all kinds of scars, but his 4" tall wife is scarier than he his, he's basically a teddy bear

- Makes potions, does restocking, inventory, and doesn't as much anymore, but makes potion bottles

- Has scars/tattoos from various adventures

- Used to have dragon scale armor, he once saved a village from a dragon, but has sold it and no longer tells the story, he now claims it was a bear

- He's a great dad ❤

- Loves ale & meat, but not as much as his girls

- I cannot overstate how much he loves his family, he LOVES his wife and daughter, like a LOT, it pretty much defines who he is, he's a family man

- Met his wife while on a quest

- He used to be a nomad while adventuring and getting paid for jobs, he'd wander from town to town, until he settled at Tradeskeep and put up a shop

Ok so i know that's a lot, but it's there for anyone who's interested in all that ❤ I have other facts too, so if you wanna know any more just look around on my blog or send an ask, Q&A for OCs are open, and I'm open to art/writing requests/ideas! ❤

[frobster]

Offer of a Lifetime - Ch 3

This only took a million years.

Completely SFW chapter. Bucky takes MJ and Peter to Olive Garden for dinner and talking.

Find the whole story on ao3!

☆☆☆

MJ and Bucky flanked Peter as they walked into the restaurant, which ended up being an Olive Garden. Nothing fancy, like Bucky had promised, but still nice enough to be a treat to Peter. Bucky didn’t even need to say anything to the hostess before she gathered up menus and led them to a corner booth. Peter was once again in the middle.

Bucky had his arm up along the back of the booth like he wanted to wrap around Peter’s shoulders, looking as casual as possible in a family restaurant. He flipped idly through the menu and Peter had to remind himself that the prices didn’t matter even though $20 for a plate of pasta seemed absolutely outrageous to him.

“Order whatever you want, Peter,” Bucky said as he set his menu down, having apparently already decided. “Any appetizers you want? Hell, order everything. You can take the leftovers home.”

Peter swallowed nervously and glanced over to MJ. She seemed vaguely surprised too, but more excited about it than Peter. 

“Could we get the sample platter?” MJ looked over at Bucky and gave him a winning smile. He nodded easily and looked down at Peter.

“You want anything in particular? They got fried vegetables. Ain’t really healthy being fried, but vegetables are still good.” Already, Bucky was trying to take care of Peter somehow. MJ snickered beside him and Peter blushed, ducking his head to avoid looking at Bucky.

“Sure, sounds good,” Peter mumbled.

MJ could easily tell that Peter was feeling a bit overwhelmed, a bit out of place. She knew he struggled with his self-confidence at times and agreeing that he deserved nice things. This was one of those moments - where the option to be pampered and spoiled was right in front of him and yet he was ready to turn it down.

So she nudged him gently and offered a smile when he looked at her. Peter managed a small smile in return and leaned over to lay against her. MJ wrapped her arm around his shoulders and rubbed his arm soothingly.

Bucky watched and made a mental note of the bond between the two. Peter clearly trusted MJ and needed reassurance from her. He didn’t feel slighted, he was actually glad that Peter was so willing to ask for support even when out in public.

“How about those veggies?” MJ asked, her voice soft almost like a mother talking to her child. “You like green beans, right?”

Peter sat up and took a deep breath, looking more settled after his moment with MJ. He nodded and finally opened the menu that was set in front of him when they were first seated, skimming over the appetizer section. The sample platter didn’t have the fried green beans so maybe he could ask for those too.

“Could we get those too?” Peter asked as he looked over to Bucky.

“Of course we can. I told you, you can order anything you want.” Bucky was never known for being gentle in his line of work, quite the opposite. But Peter had him feeling soft inside and he just wanted to make the boy happy however he could.

Soon, the waitress came over to ask for their drink orders and if they wanted any appetizers. MJ got to order her one alcoholic drink, a pomegranate mojito, and Peter ordered lemonade. Bucky asked for just water for himself and ordered the two appetizers.

With their appetizers on the way, MJ flipped her menu to the entree section. She was fully intent on ordering whatever had the most food in it so she could take some home and have leftovers for a day or two. Peter knew that Bucky had the money to buy everything on the menu a hundred times over, but he still felt guilty looking at dishes that cost more than $20.

“You’re allowed to order whatever you want,” Bucky reminded Peter, having leaned over to speak near his ear.

Peter startled, not realizing that Bucky had leaned in so close.

“Y-yeah, I know. I just… Do people really spend so much for pasta? I could make this at home for like five bucks if I had the skill.”

Bucky chuckled and reached up to ruffle Peter’s hair, finding him to be absolutely adorable. Peter grumbled and tried to fix his hair while MJ snickered at the scene. The casual touches between them didn’t feel so awkward or scary like Peter had feared, and MJ could tell that he was starting to feel more comfortable. 

“Hell, get two meals. You can eat a little of both then take the rest home. I just want you to order whatever you think sounds good.”

Even when his aunt was still alive, Peter was never able to order two meals. They had to be frugal with their money and rarely went out to eat at all, only on special occasions. Getting to peek into the life of a rich person nearly had Peter’s head spinning. But MJ nudged him again and pointed to a shrimp scampi dish that came with pasta, and suddenly Peter was much more willing to order.

“Oh, shrimp.” Peter focused on the seafood section of the menu, skimming for shrimp dishes.

Bucky watched, making another note of Peter’s love for shrimp. Maybe he could use it as a treat in the future - offering to make a shrimp dish for dinner if Peter came over again, mentioning that the gala he wanted to take Peter to would have a refreshment table with shrimp cocktail. He chuckled to himself as he continued to look over the menu just to keep his gaze off Peter to avoid making the younger man uncomfortable.

The waitress returned with their drinks and MJ eagerly accepted hers, taking a testing sip before nodding and sipping again. Peter made a face at the lemon seeds clearly visible in his glass and Bucky, ever attentive to Peter, made his own sound of dissatisfaction.

“Excuse me, could we get a lemonade without any seeds? They just make it difficult to drink.” Bucky was looking intensely at the waitress. It wasn’t really her fault, but he wasn’t going to let her leave without fixing the situation. She nodded and snatched the glass away again before hurrying back to the kitchen.

Peter flushed again, embarrassed about being fussed over. He could’ve picked them out with his straw just fine. But Bucky seemed like someone who didn’t let go of details, no matter how small, and Peter would just have to get used to that if he was going to agree to Bucky’s deal. Even though they didn’t really know much about each other, Peter could already tell that Bucky was a very controlling type and used to having everything go his way.

The waitress soon returned with a new glass of lemonade, no seeds visible, and Bucky nodded in approval. She scampered off to fulfill their dinner order and Peter sipped at his drink. He relaxed a little, always comforted by the familiar tang of the drink like his aunt used to hand-squeeze every summer. The memory made him lean into MJ again and she just pet his head gently.

“You gotta try making it yourself one day,” she insisted, knowing exactly where his mind went.

“It wouldn’t be the same.” Peter took another sip. It wasn’t as sweet as May used to make.

“Add some strawberries, make it pink.” MJ set her drink down, which was a deep maroon from the pomegranate syrup used to make it. 

Peter had always been more drawn to pretty, “feminine” colors and themes rather than the typical masculine aesthetic. Light yellow lemonade mixed with the pale red of mashed strawberries sounded like a beautiful drink. Maybe if he could afford fresh fruit one week, he would try it.

“I got a juice press back at the apartment,” Bucky mentioned. Peter glanced back over, immediately interested. “You could come over any time you want and use it.”

MJ grinned, not that Peter saw. She appreciated that Bucky understood the situation and wanted to offer his help as well. Peter’s happiness really was important to him and that was what she wanted to ensure. If Bucky didn’t truly care for Peter, she wouldn’t let Peter run off with him.

“Maybe we can all go back to your place after this? I wanna make sure Peter will be comfortable if he does decide to stay with you.” MJ was as overbearing as ever and Peter just ducked his head. He felt like a kid with his two parents talking about him, much like he did whenever her and Ned spoke. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, but it did leave him feeling a little helpless.

“If you both feel up to it, sure. I can get Peter security clearance so he can visit any time. And with that clearance, he can bring guests. So you and Ned can visit as well, so long as he is with you.” Bucky’s easy agreement had MJ nodding as she rubbed Peter’s arm to draw his attention back to the conversation.

“Sounds good,” he agreed as he sat up again. Seeming like a needy child probably wouldn’t endear him to Bucky. And he didn’t want to let his chance at a better life slip away before he could make his decision. 

“So Bucky, how’d you get into this line of work?” MJ asked casually before sipping at her drink again.

Peter froze, immediately assuming that Bucky would just up and leave after such an invasive question. Did she really have to jump right into the deep end? He wanted to glare at her but before he could even turn his head to do so, he felt Bucky moving next to him.

“Well,” Bucky started as he shifted in his seat. “That is a long story, and not one I feel inclined to share in a public space. If you truly want to know, I can tell you in the future. But you are essentially a stranger still and that isn’t a story I tell to just anyone.”

It was an evasive yet understandable answer. Peter didn’t expect Bucky to pour out his life story during their second meeting. The man was powerful and private and would likely never share any personal information in a public space.

“Would I be in any danger?” Peter asked softly. He was no stranger to an unsteady life, and working the streets came with its own risks. But living with a mafia boss was a far different experience.

“No. I would never allow that.” Bucky’s voice was firm as he looked at Peter, their first moment of eye contact since they entered the restaurant.

“But you can’t really control it, can you?” MJ was leaning in close, eyes narrowed. This was what she wanted - the chance to really interrogate Bucky.

“Yes I can. I own my apartment building, and most of the buildings on that block. I chose the security myself, I had systems installed, I have them checked every month. My building is safe and Peter will be safe there.”

“I’m just gonna be some kept boy you leave at home while you do whatever you want?” Now Peter sounded offended. He was used to freedom, maybe a little too much. While being taken care of sounded nice, he wasn’t about to be a house pet.

Bucky huffed, sounding as annoyed as Peter felt. MJ watched with interest, curious to see how their first disagreement was handled. Peter was glaring at Bucky and Bucky was glaring at the table. The hustle and bustle of the restaurant around them seemed to fade into the distance as both men tried to mentally prepare themselves for the discussion that could easily become an argument.

“You wouldn’t be a kept boy,” Bucky finally said, looking up again. “I could assign you a security detail so at least one other person is with you whenever you aren’t at my apartment. I could put you and MJ in self-defense classes. I just want you to be safe.”

The raw honesty that caught Peter off-guard in the car hit him again. He blinked at Bucky as he tried to figure out where this affection could have possibly come from. One night together and suddenly Bucky was completely attached?

“I’ll teach you how to handle a knife, how to handle a gun. You’ll be able to protect yourself but you’ll still have security with you. The city isn’t safe, you know that, and I can’t let anything happen to you, Peter.” There was an unusual expression on Bucky’s face, his eyes swimming with emotion that Peter wasn’t used to seeing directed at him. It made his breath hitch and cheeks turn pink.

“Okay,” Peter managed to say, his voice faint as if he had forgotten how to speak.

MJ was wary next to him, but she stayed quiet. This was a conversation for Peter and Bucky, not for her. She would just take mental notes and text Ned so they could decide together if Peter would truly be safe and happy if he decided to live with Bucky.

“Okay?” Bucky brought his arm down from being draped on the booth behind Peter and set his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “You’ll be safe with me, I promise. And I ain’t the kinda person who breaks promises.”

Peter had a vague idea how to handle knives. He kept a pocket knife and pepper spray at all times just due to his job. There were only a handful of times where he had to make use of them but he managed well enough. Actually getting training to protect himself, to be lethal if necessary, sent a thrill through him. That was… exciting. He wanted that power.

It was surprising to him and Peter wasn’t sure what to think about his reaction, so he just tucked it away to think about later. 

“Okay,” he said again, voice a little stronger. “I wanna learn how to defend myself. MJ too.” If Bucky had all the money and resources in the world, surely he could manage to fit MJ into the training.

“MJ too,” Bucky agreed with a nod.

The tense mood between them eased off a bit, just in time for their food to arrive. Peter’s eyes lit up at the sight of his plate - shrimp scampi with an indulgent amount of shrimp. It was soaked in butter and lemon juice, and his mouth was already watering. Everyone had their entree in front of them, and the appetizers were set in the middle. Apparently their order was rushed, so it all finished at the same time.

“Enjoy.” Bucky smiled at Peter, who managed to smile back. He most certainly would enjoy this meal, even if there was no possible way that he could finish it all.

Peter didn't know where to start. Should he try the appetizers first, since that was the point of them? He bit his lip as he looked over the full table and tried to figure out what to eat first. There had never been so many options available before.

Taking initiative, Bucky scooped some fried green beans onto a small plate and nudged Peter's entree plate away. The little plate took its place and Peter felt a bit of relief at not having to choose. He felt MJ watching them even as she ate, trying to pretend she wasn't. 

"Thanks," Peter said softly as he picked up a green bean, crunching into it and letting out a happy hum. Bucky set the cup of sauce on Peter's plate too and Peter was happy to dip his green beans. Rather than eating, Bucky just openly watched Peter eat with a smile, seeming quite content with himself. 

It wasn't until Peter finished his green beans that he realized Bucky was watching him too. He glanced over and blushed, feeling embarrassed under the open attention.

"What? I get sauce on my face?" Peter immediately grabbed a napkin and rubbed at his face. 

Bucky chuckled and shook his head, turning his attention to his own plate finally.

"No, doll. I just wanna make sure you're enjoying your food," Bucky answered with a smile. Peter huffed and pushed the small plate away so he could focus on his own entree.

The table was quiet for a bit as all three of them ate. MJ continued to watch the other two from the corner of her eye as she ate silently. She had a decent feeling about Bucky despite his dangerous affiliations and she appreciated that he had paid attention to Peter.

Peter's dish was rich and he had to eat slowly. The shrimp was perfectly cooked and the lemon butter sauce lit up his taste buds like never before. He winced and shivered at a particularly sour bite and Bucky immediately leaned in again to check on him.

"I'm okay. Just not used to such strong flavors.” Peter managed a small smile again, feeling shy and uncertain under Bucky’s attention.

Peter had been trying to build up his self-confidence over the years. MJ had been a big help since he met her after high school and Ned was always available to talk in case he needed cheering up. Top surgery had done wonders for his physical confidence, but Peter still stumbled over words and struggled to process his emotions. He did his best to hide it behind a snarky facade, but Bucky had somehow broken right through that.

Bucky was clearly out of his depth too. Despite the powerful aura around him, there was an undercurrent of doubt as well. Peter could sense it and felt a little less nervous knowing that Bucky actually cared enough to be worried. He scooted a little closer to Bucky, which prompted the older man to drop his arm from the back of the booth to drape it around Peter’s shoulders instead.

Despite being a prostitute, Peter was not very used to affection. Maybe because his line of work wasn’t actually affectionate. He knew twenty ways to suck a dick, but cuddling was way out of his familiarity. It was awkward to have Bucky holding him if only because he didn’t know what to do. What did people usually do when they cuddled?

Peter glanced over to MJ who just grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. He rolled his eyes and she snickered before going back to her food. Peter tried to eat too, but leaning into Bucky got him dangerously close to the man’s fancy, expensive suit and he didn’t want to risk getting any food on it. Bucky liked him, but he was sure there were limits to that affection. Likely ending at getting his suit ruined.

“Are you full?” Bucky gently rubbed Peter’s shoulder, drawing him out of his thoughts.

“Um, n-not yet. I just didn’t wanna get anything on you,” Peter mumbled, ears going red with embarrassment.

Bucky huffed, whether in annoyance or amusement, Peter wasn’t sure. He shifted nervously as Bucky pulled his arm away and immediately assumed he had done something wrong. But all that happened was Bucky taking his suit jacket off to drape over the booth on his other side before grabbing another napkin to lay over his lap.

“There, now you don’t have to worry,” Bucky said with a smile as he wrapped his arm around Peter again.

Peter was continuously surprised by the generosity and thoughtfulness of Bucky’s actions towards him. He blinked for a moment before leaning in again and stabbing another forkful of shrimp pasta. 

“Thank you,” he murmured after he swallowed, still blushing.

Their meal continued peacefully with the waitress coming to check on them almost every ten minutes. She was quick to refill drinks and clear empty plates away, clearly not wanting to upset Bucky. Whether she knew who he was or not, Peter knew anyone would fear Bucky. His eyes could get cold and emotionless as a glacier when he glared, and he could convey a threat without even opening his mouth. It was equal parts thrilling and terrifying.

By the time everyone was full, Peter felt like he would never need to eat again. He was leaning heavily into Bucky and knew he had eaten too much. But it was all so delicious and he couldn’t help himself. A few other waitstaff came over to get their food into boxes to take back home and Peter was grateful that he didn’t have to move and do it himself.

MJ seemed happy enough so far, but she was still determined to go to Bucky’s apartment and make sure Peter would be comfortable and cared for there. She wanted to make sure the building was safe, that Peter wouldn’t be risking his life just by being associated with Bucky.

Bucky paid for the meal once everything was packed up, purposefully angling the bill away from Peter so he couldn’t panic about it. When everything was settled, Bucky slid out of the booth and pulled his jacket on again before holding out a hand for Peter.

“I promised we would go to my apartment together. Are you still feeling up for that?” Bucky asked as he held Peter’s hand again.

Peter glanced over to MJ, who nodded as she gathered up the bags.

“I’m not letting Peter out of my sight. And I need to give your place my stamp of approval before anything else happens.” Her tone was firm and confident, everything Peter tried to be.

“As you wish.” Bucky led them out of the restaurant and into the same car as before. Peter tucked closer to Bucky this time. “You two can spend the night in a spare room or I can drive you both back to your own homes. Up to you.”

The car started moving but Peter didn’t sway as much that time. He was comfortably tucked against Bucky, eyes closed and hands on his stomach. A sleepy, lazy feeling had settled over him after eating so much and all he wanted to do was take a nap. Whether in his own bed or Bucky’s, he didn’t really mind.

“I think Peter may have already made that decision for us,” MJ joked with a smile. 

Bucky was happy to hold Peter, to make sure he was comfortable during the drive to his apartment. Both he and MJ had their own protective feelings towards Peter, and MJ knew this. She was growing to appreciate Bucky’s efforts rather than being suspicious of them.

“I’ll still have him sleep in a separate room from mine. It wouldn’t be fair to take advantage of his exhaustion,” Bucky insisted. He wanted MJ to like him. She was a good person and meant so much to Peter.

MJ just nodded and leaned back in her seat. Maybe they would spend the night. It would give her more time to explore and think through everything. She didn’t want to overlook any detail that could lead to Peter’s discomfort or unhappiness. 

Both Bucky and MJ were thinking the same thing: Peter deserved perfect happiness.

[irwen-s]

07

wenrene / hybrid au (bunny!joohyun) *written in headcanon format —

physical description

joohyun’s breed: netherland dwarf rabbit

fur: white

eyes: brown

the netherland dwarf rabbit is the smallest breed of domesticated rabbit

what makes them special:  their small size, cute, upright ears, and funny jumps and personality; an overall very charming breed

aside from her bunny ears and tail, the rest of joohyun’s body appears physically human.

joohyun’s size is actually a little smaller than average for bunny hybrids of her breed.

her ears are bigger than usual though, and her left bunny ear also sticks out a little more than her right in the same way her human left ear does.

background

joohyun and seungwan meet when joohyun is 15, seungwan 18.

joohyun has the same lifespan as a human, but sexual maturity is a bit different. while joohyun’s human body develops at the same time as the average female human, her rabbit traits cause her to develop sexual maturity differently. so she sort of experiences puberty twice.

this means that when joohyun meets seungwan, she’s still technically a baby.

as they grow up together, joohyun starts experiencing her hybrid puberty around age 18. she reaches sexual maturity around age 22, when seungwan is 25.

joohyun’s eyesight

in the same way bunnies are, joohyun as a bunny hybrid is farsighted, meaning she can see farther than humans, but things up close are blurry to her.

so at the same time as she’s more scared of things that are too close up (because they might never be what they should be), she might also be a little more startled by an airplane flying overhead than a human typically would be because she can see it clearer.

she has a blind spot near the front of her face, directly in front of her—but it’s not exactly a blind spot. she can actually see, it’s just incredibly blurry. 

this isn’t overly concerning though, it’s blurry vision in the same way it might be bad eyesight for a nearsighted human, so if joohyun wears glasses it totally cures the problem. she wears them when reading or just around on a daily basis.

when joohyun cocks her head and looks sideways, it’s like an instinctive way for her to look straight at someone with clearest vision. 

joohyun’s eyes form a grainy/blurry vision of things close up to her; she relies on this image as well as the sound of seungwan’s voice, body movements and scent as her cues to recognize her.

but if seungwan is like, carrying a really big box or something, it sometimes might distort the image joohyun sees and she won’t be able to recognize seungwan for a moment, which can scare her.

joohyun can see in the dark better than humans, but the quality is pretty low resolution. grainy.

she has limited color vision, green and blue limited; joohyun is red-blind (called protanopia), so she can’t distinguish differences in red, orange, and yellow, and blue and purple look awfully similar to her.

personality

joohyun is skittish and jumpy and likes to hide in the different nooks and crannies of seungwan’s house.

she’s very inquisitive and explorative despite her initially shy, nervous nature.

she’s easily startled and sensitive. yet she’s also very intelligent, social, sometimes bratty and willful, and when in a mood can be a bit grumpy and destructive.

dwarf rabbits are stereotyped to be hyper and mean, and that’s how some people might initially perceive joohyun to be like. but joohyun is actually super affectionate, like how some dwarf rabbits actually turn out to be.

traits, habits

joohyun is a clingier bunny hybrid than others.

her health is a little fragile because joohyun gets allergies and falls sick pretty easily.

joohyun really loves chewing on things, so seungwan gets her stim toys or chewable sensory objects. but sometimes joohyun just likes to absentmindedly chew on seungwan’s shoulder when she’s seated in her lap. or just mouth at some other part of her, like her arm or her fingers. it’s to keep her teeth in good condition by providing appropriate wear on her teeth. and she just likes the feeling.

 seungwan has to remind her not to chew on her nails. 

joohyun grooms herself a lot, keeping her hair and her skin in good condition. she’s very meticulous about this. bunnies don’t need showers but joohyun is a hybrid so she grooms and takes baths with like maybe a half-filled or less tub of water. 

she nose bumps into seungwan as a greeting, nips at her to demand to be put down, and adamantly thumps her foot when she wants attention or is scared of something and wants seungwan to do something about it.

she’s basically so quiet that sometimes she forgets to use her words, forgets she can even talk, and so she ends up trying to demand things in other ways, like tugging or nudging or stomping or nipping and seungwan doesn’t mind, she understands what joohyun tries to say most of the time.

but she has to gently remind joohyun to speak up sometimes, to be a little more vocal about her needs, because in the real world other people won’t always be able to understand her, and seungwan worries.

rabbits often show few outward signs of distress when they are ill or in pain, so joohyun’s personality naturally follows this. seungwan has to be really attentive to know if she’s ill or uncomfortable; the tells can always be the most subtle things easily missed, like when joohyun is hiding in an unusual spot, or sitting hunched over, or refusing to eat something.

joohyun does all their laundry. she doesn’t let seungwan touch any of it. the washing machine is hers.

joohyun can get sensitivity overload very easily, so she’s definitely not okay with crowds. not just because there’s so many people, but also because it’s so very loud. seungwan helps buy her noise cancelling headphones or ear defenders to help mute the sound. 

she’ll pull a cap over her head with her bunny ears tucked underneath them and then put the headphones on to cover her human ears, meaning a lot of surrounding noise is muffled. it’s a little itchy and uncomfortable for her bunny ears if she wears a hat like that for so long, but she endures it because crowds really suck.

joohyun chewing is ridiculously endearing to seungwan because she takes small nibbles and eats pretty slowly to get through food. and she makes this quiet chewing sound that could absolutely be asmr-worthy content. sometimes seungwan just watches her eat with a silly smile on her face until joohyun blushes and, like, flicks her nose. 

if seungwan can’t immediately find joohyun when she arrives home, it’s likely because joohyun is hiding out in some part of the house, which she really likes to do. there’s just something very comforting to her, especially as a bunny hybrid, about tunnelling into these hidden spots and camping out there for a while. curled up and tucked away while reading a book or doodling to pass the time.

that also means joohyun likes to build these small blanket nests, and with a house as spacious as seungwan’s, there are so many opportunities for where she can assemble them. she gathers all the blankets and pillows they own, from her yellow chick blanket to the purple polka dotted one she likes to sleep with. throws in some of seungwan’s hoodies and her own stash of clothes, both worn and fresh out out of the laundry.

and then she goes about setting it all up in a certain corner where she’ll burrow into and settle there for the next few hours, maybe take a nap too while she’s at it.

joohyun is very graceful and balanced when moving quickly, dancing, or hopping, but when she’s like moving at a normal or slow pace she can be really clumsy, which seungwan finds absolutely hilarious. joohyun bumps into things a lot, even when she has glasses on so she can see close up. 

one time seungwan sees her walk into a wall trying to go to the restroom and (after making sure joohyun is okay) she just crumples to the floor laughing and joohyun’s face reddens as she grumpily shuts the door in her face.

likes/dislikes

joohyun doesn’t like to be picked up but does enjoy curling up in seungwans lap. but only when she’s on the floor or the couch, somewhere close to the ground, because joohyun doesn’t like being raised too high up. she likes being able to feel the ground beneath her feet.

she also really likes tummy and side and back rubs and sometimes just splays out along seungwans lap, stretching and silently demanding scratches from a very charmed and amused seungwan.

joohyun is scared of heights. (surprise surprise)

she is a bit scared of the dark so she sleeps with nightlights.

joohyun likes to have the tv on with the volume muted when she’s sleeping by herself to know she isn’t alone.

joohyun loves, loves, loves soft chewy slow cooked foods and vegetables. their household is really big on fruits and veggies because seungwan likes them and they’re part of joohyun’s diet, so everyone’s happy.

tteokbokki is still joohyun’s favourite food on the planet, especially because it’s ridiculously chewy and gummy. this is similar to the way hay is a staple of a rabbit’s diet because it stimulates normal chewing habits and appropriate wear on the teeth.

joohyun also really loves brushing her teeth and keeping them clean to the point where seungwan has to stop her from overdoing it. dentists are a whole other story though. she is not a happy camper when she has to go.

joohyun likes gardens, greenery, and nature. she can get very easily lost in a garden and lose track of time. (she can actually get very easily lost in general, to be entirely honest.)

at the same time as joohyun likes to be lazy and nap a lot, being a general stay-at-home person, she’s very hyperactive and loves to exercise, hopping around and running and dancing and it’s all so, so endearing to seungwan.

joohyun also likes to roll around a lot or lay on the floor in the middle of the room. sometimes she’s napping and sometimes she’s just lying there. seungwan doesn’t always know. joohyun takes like seven naps a day, just lies down in the middle of the floor on her side and dozes off. or in seungwan’s bed. or in her own room.

if she’s disturbed she will start kicking though. and her kicks are really, really hard.

hobbies

joohyun loves reading books, articles, practically anything informational she can learn from. and she likes watching documentaries as well as video essays. they don’t always have to be serious content either, she just likes learning about everything, small and big. it’s what she usually spends her time doing if she isn’t exercising or napping. 

she keeps a diary and she takes a lot of photos. 

joohyun eventually works as a choreographer working behind the scenes, so there’s not as much need for interaction with others. she can instead focus on choreographing dances and perfecting them for other people to perform.

that doesn’t mean joohyun doesn’t like to perform though. she sometimes will, though usually with a cap covering her ears and hiding her tail so she doesn’t draw attention to them.

joohyun is . . . extraordinarily talented. her footwork, grace, and balance comes naturally to her from being a bunny hybrid. her flexibility from her own hobbies as a child. and her hard work and perseverance to hone all these skills from her own personality. she is an excellent dancer because she loves dancing and so pours all of her effort and some more into it.

she also probably at one point tries out hurdling or high jumping (and then has the time of her life. joohyun and sports involving jumps get along like a house on fire).

relationship dynamics with seungwan

when they first met, seungwan would often sit down on the floor a distance away and wait patiently, quietly for joohyun to approach. she resists the urge to touch her, doesn’t make any sudden movements, instead lets joohyun sniff her, circle her, hop on her, and familiarize herself with seungwan’s scent.

touch comes gradually; seungwan at first extends a hand or finger for joohyun to smell as a polite overture.

eventually joohyun lets her gently rub her forehead, ears, and temples (especially the areas right below her bunny ears), which are her favorite bunny scritchy spots. she also completely does not mind having seungwan’s fingers card through her hair.

joohyun is shy and doesn’t like to be touched by strangers. for people she does know, she’s more likely to allow touches to her head than rubs to her back or any other area where she can’t keep an eye on.

never chase her. joohyun will get terrified and anxious and hurt herself trying to run away.

joohyun likes to wake seungwan up by nuzzling into her face (she really enjoys nose touching/nuzzling with seungwan) or light nipping at her nose or mouth. sometimes if she’s in a mood she’ll stick her butt in seungwans face though, or like crawl all over her and seungwan wakes up to a foot in her face.

even more common than kisses, joohyun and seungwan do a lot of nose rubbing or nuzzling—eskimo kisses, basically. 

when seungwan starts to ramble a lot, joohyun will nuzzle into her chest to hear the vibrations from her voice, and she, like, quietly purrs because it’s a really nice feeling. it also usually slows seungwan down at the same time as makes her aware of her volume and lowers it.

and when she’s being too loud and joohyun doesn’t have patience she just nips at her ear until seungwan yelps and quiets down.

once joohyun is in a grooming mood, she’ll start grooming herself and then sometimes drag seungwan close to groom her too, even as she protests weakly.

when seungwan sets up a room for joohyun, she gets a mattress that’s low to the ground so joohyun is more comfortable sleeping closer to the floor. even though joohyun spends half her naps curled up on the floor of any room. seungwan has no idea how it’s comfortable, but it apparently is to joohyun.

joohyun’s area is called the joohyun zone. designated as such by her.

joohyun’s identifier is a very simple, thin, purple bracelet around her wrist. joohyun can’t really tell the difference between blue and purple so she claims every shade of blue is purple. especially any shade of purple that matches her bracelet. seungwan just goes along with it.

at one point joohyun gets seungwan a matching bracelet that identifies her as joohyun’s companion, and she says this is in a purple color, but it’s actually in blue; joohyun can’t tell the difference. but seungwan loves it anyways and immediately begins to wear it.

also wanted to mention somewhere that seungwan definitely helps provide joohyun get some form of schooling or education, whether it’s through a small private academy specifically built for hybrids or through tutoring at home. 

seungwan in general is very patient with joohyun and lets her learn and grow on her own, only gently intervening when it’s necessary; she knows joohyun is still technically a baby and has been sheltered from many things, so it’s important to let her walk on her own sometimes.

puberty

so normally, having a bunny spayed or neutered is actually a good thing for them most of the time. i genuinely have no idea how this would work in the hybrid world. a hysterectomy?

when joohyun starts experiencing her hybrid puberty, she starts developing a lot of habits based on her mood. when she’s playful she’ll like hum or sing a little, circling seungwan and brushing up against her and nosing into her shoulder, just being very needy and cuddly while following her around incessantly, and seungwan is really amused and yet so, so soft for her.

but sometimes when she gets angry or upset or grumpy, she’ll mount or hump random things in the house or seungwan’s unsuspecting head—or her shoes or her leg or her poor other limbs.

when she doesn’t want to interact with others she’ll growl and box (arms aggressively swinging forward to whack people who come too close), and seungwan knows to keep away and give her some space.

also sometimes she can get really territorial, not just over her own things but seungwan sometimes too, and she’ll swing or push at other people that try and get close to seungwan. it may or may not involve aggressive or possessive lunging.

sometimes she does it to seungwan too though, nipping and biting at her angrily, and seungwan just lets her because she knows joohyun can’t help it, she’s still a growing baby, and she doesn’t mean it. joohyun is always really apologetic later on once she’s cleared her head.

bunnies usually tend toward destructive chewing and digging, but as a hybrid joohyun ends up like disorganizing all the laundry and seungwan’s and her clothes, knocking over other things in the house, generally just making a mess of everything because she’s restless and wants to find something that smells good. when seungwan comes back to the mess she just eyeballs joohyun, and her ears droop as she goes to clean it all up. (seungwan gives in and helps her.)

bunnies usually mount each other when their sex drive is going high and/or as a sign of social dominance. so joohyun will, like, mount seungwan and straddle her stomach or her back a lot, and seungwan just groans but lets her. joohyun likes to do it to be near seungwan and her body warmth, and because she’s just very clingy and affectionate in general, though it’s probably also out of some inborn need to establish some form of social communication.

when joohyun begins to unconsciously rock against her though, that’s when things start getting out of hand.

joohyun won’t admit it but she secretly really likes (almost prefers it) when seungwan does it back and like, gently pins her down, and then joohyun kicks her legs and squirms around a bit, squeaking; but then eventually she settles down and meekly noses against her, flushed and quiet. 

seungwan totally knows, though. and she knows that it’s all playful banter and joohyun does it because she likes the struggle, likes the feeling of seungwan’s body pressing down onto her, and that it isn’t actually serious, so she just patiently waits for joohyun to quiet down and then nuzzle into her.

when joohyun is still a baby, she talks very little and sleeps a lot; she’s really quiet and communicates almost nonverbally. but once she reaches sexual maturity, she talks more and becomes more vocal about her demands.

so she doesn’t do much when she’s younger, mostly spending her days indoors where she is familiar with her surroundings. she’s too shy or nervous to try new things even with seungwan’s gentle encouragement, and she clings to seungwan a lot more. she’s understandably anxious around other humans, even other hybrids, just anyone unfamiliar in general.

it’s sad to see because seungwan knows why she’s like this, and because she knows bunnies and bunny hybrids are social creatures—and that joohyun is missing out.

but once joohyun enters puberty, she begins to tentatively participate in more activities and engage more with the world, slowly coming out of her shell. she still is shy and quiet in nature, but it’s less out of pure anxiety and more just because that’s her personality, being reserved. in the end she comes out more assertive, more mature.  

titles

joohyun’s first owner had joohyun refer to her as “master” (which says so much about their relationship, huh) and so joohyun accepted this as the norm for relationships between hybrids and their human owners. 

but when seungwan eventually takes her in, seungwan is absolutely revolted the first time joohyun tries to call her that, and her stomach almost feels sick. she quickly and gently corrects joohyun and encourages her to consider seungwan as her equal, her companion rather than her owner, which means just referring to seungwan by her name.

and joohyun is naturally a little off put and hesitant about this, but she’s still really little so things are still malleable for her, and she eventually gets the hang of it. besides, being able to call seungwan by her name makes joohyun feel so much closer to her. “master” is a term joohyun never uses again.

but as joohyun grows older, during the years after she’s entered her hybrid puberty, she meets other hybrids and their companions and notices that some of them refer to one another as “unnie” or other honorifics. she’s aware of what they mean, has even seen seungwan refer to her older sister as that. yet she wonders why seungwan never brought it up to her.

so joohyun brings it up. one day when seungwan is seated at the dining table scrolling through her phone and joohyun is splayed out in the living room reading a book, she just goes, “seungwan-unnie?” and then seungwan chokes on her spit and starts spluttering for a few minutes. joohyun whacks her back a few times to get her human properly working again.

when they talk about it, seungwan confesses that she wanted joohyun to just experience being able to refer to people by their name without any boundaries of age or status in the way. to for once have a normal relationship where she can talk to someone on an equal grounding. she had never expected for joohyun to call her anything except her name. and she hopes that joohyun can continue to do that, to be able to remember and remind herself that she is equal to seungwan.

so joohyun does.

but she’s also learned another very big joohyun-related weakness of seungwan’s, because whenever she really wants something or just feels like playfully flustering her, joohyun just calls “unnie” and she has seungwan weak at the knees for her.

[thewheezingwyvern]

Caffeine Kisses

This is a prize for @sophiashyaway​ for my 500 follower giveaway.  She requested something for my YYH fanfiction, Melon Liquor from Kurama’s perspective so here’s my attempt! Sorry for your wait, love! He was challenging to write from his perspective! Banner was edited by me, photograph from here.

Rating: Fluffy

Word count: 2080

Kurama x Midori (my OC)

The sun had just barely slipped over the horizon when I woke. Still bleary eyed and foggy from sleep, I glance over to the right only to give a faint smile and quiet chuckle at the sight. Midori was sprawled beneath the blankets, ink black hair a wild cloud around her head as she slumbered on. Dusky shadows painted over the skin of her arms, mouth open to emit soft snores. Amusedly I noticed that one leg was thrown haphazardly over my own. Fortunately Midori was a heavy sleeper, especially now that she took the tonics I made for her to help her have dreamless nights.

Gingerly I shifted her thigh, bare until the hem of her pajama shorts, and slipped out of bed. The digital clock glowing on the bedside table displayed 4:03 am, signifying that she would need to wake up for work in thirty minutes. Coffee burst to the forefront of my mind and I silently walked into the kitchen. Caffeination was an important part of the process of growing your own functional Midori, or so she had explained to me on numerous occasions. 

The apartment was silent in the rising morning and I couldn’t help but let my thoughts wander. We had come such a long way together. If anyone had told me in the beginning that I would be moving in with her I would have thought them brain damaged. At first I thought she was reckless, wild and a danger to herself. I had thought that she wasn’t that observant. At first.

“You don’t have very many friends, do you?”

One simple sentence was enough to make me think more of her. To reexamine her more closely. Of course I had been suspicious of her, wondered if she was a demon hunter at first but that was gradually shown to not be true. But that single question had forced me to reconsider most of what I had thought about her. Everyone I had met in school assumed I had a lot of friends because of my popularity. But without even trying she could see through that.

The fragrant, earthy smell of coffee permeated the air, the maker bubbling away as it funneled into the pot.  The scent would likely be enough to rouse Midori shortly, so I stepped onto the patio to tend to my plants. The pleasant smell of lavender and rosemary had steeped into the air and it brought an even deeper sense of calm. Midori had begged me to grow some of our own spices on the patio and the lavender was a specific request from her.

When I finished and went back inside the apartment, my partner was posted in front of the coffee pot, pouring out a fresh mug. Her eyes were still bleary with sleep, movements sluggish as she struggled to pull herself from the grips of lethargy. I couldn’t help but smile, seeing her standing there hazy with sleep, clad in a matching set of fox pajamas. I quietly approached her, settling my arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Morning Kurama…” she murmured, cradling the hot coffee in her hands closely.

I hummed with soft pleasure when Midori gently leaned into my touch. The sight of her so content in my embrace made me linger longer than I had planned. But she always had a habit of throwing off my plans. She proved that when she had managed to make it to the Dark Tournament on her own. It was reckless. It was dangerous. It was impossibly stupid.

It was so very Midori.

Never once had I ever thought I would find recklessness endearing but she had made that happen. As she shrugged out from underneath my arm and shuffled over to the fridge, I pondered all the times she had been reckless but for the sake of others. Kaoru had been the first one to come to mind when she willingly involved herself with a stalker and broke into the school just to track her down. And then her first encounter with Hiei, a demon she knew that could and would kill her for her interference. 

I couldn’t help but smile faintly. I think she had grown on Hiei even, albeit unwillingly.

“Whacha smilin’ about?” she mumbled, pouring the creamer into her coffee.

“Just some memories.” 

Midori quirked a brow at me over the rim of her mug, “Those old man genes coming out then? You thinking about the good old days?”

“I hardly think you are in any position to accuse me of being old.”

“I’m a spring chicken thank you very much!” she took a long drink of her caffeinated beverage and then gave a pleased groan, “Your coffee in the morning is always the best. Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me. It’s the only way I can get you out of bed.”

Midori glared at me but said nothing, still sleepily nursing her drink. It was always so amusing to pick on her because she never failed to rise to the bait, even when she knew I was doing it on purpose. A part of her charm, I would say. With a quiet but playful smile, I eyed her sleepwear.

“Nice pajamas.”

A sleepy smile emerged from her then, “I thought you might appreciate them.”

“I can’t say that I don’t.”

“Good. And now I always have you on me.”

It was my turn to arch my brow at her, amusement coloring my face at her slip of the tongue. Midori blinked at me owlishly, confusion clear in her expression as she tried to interpret my amusement. Then realization dawned on her face and then she rolled her eyes with a groan.

“You know what I meant! Don’t make it weird.”

I decided to spare her and change the subject, “Would you like me to make you breakfast?”

“Oooh ye-wait. No I know we only just moved in together but if you do that I’m gonna start expecting you to do it all the time.”

“I don’t mind. Besides, I’m not entirely certain I trust you to have anything healthy or nourishing in the morning. Or you even having breakfast at all.”

Midori stared at me silently for a few moments, “You know it’s still alarming to see how much you’ve figured me out.”

“I believe we’ve discussed how you aren’t as closed of a book as you would like to believe.” 

“That’s just to you…” She muttered, taking a drink of her steaming cup of coffee.

“I can concede that.” I told her in amusement.

Bright green eyes, still hazy with lethargy, studied me thoughtfully. Her hands still cradled the warm mug, clutching it almost like a life line with slender fingers. Hands that were not afraid to get bloody. Hands that could kill, if she wished. I think I first realized that my feelings for Midori were beyond friendship when she saved me at the Dark Tournament. When she fought that snake demon on her own and nearly died in the process. On death’s door and she was still cracking jokes, albeit weakly.

“Well, I definitely won’t turn down breakfast if you’re offering!” 

I smiled as she shuffled over to the bar on the other side of the counter, hopping up onto a barstool, “What would you like?”

“Hmmmm, surprise me! You know what kind of stuff I like by this point!”

An omelette came to mind immediately, so I started pulling out a skillet, a cutting board and a knife. I could feel Midori’s eyes on me as I moved to the fridge, peering in to search for appropriate vegetables. I brought them all to the cutting board, setting to work on the onion first, ready to chop up enough for both of us. It would be beneficial for me to cook myself breakfast as well. And I couldn’t deny that I would enjoy eating with her.

“Do you see something that interests you, Midori?” I asked in amusement at her staring, making sure to speak with a flirtatious tone to tease her.

She didn’t seem to notice my tone and continued to stare thoughtfully before cracking a wide, toothy grin, “Oh don’t mind me. I’m just trying to picture you in a pink frilly apron.”

“You never change, do you?”

“Would you ever want me to?”

“No, I suppose I wouldn’t.”

Midori gave a playful gasp, slapping her hand over her heart. Her expression was one of mock affront as she pretended to swoon in her seat. I chuckled under my breath, focusing back on the onions I was chopping, eyes starting to sting the more I cut.

“You suppose? Kurama you mean you aren’t sure? What am I to you?”

“As of this moment? A source of amusement.”

Midori scowled at me but it was not in earnest and I shifted the onions to the side and moved to chop a tomato next. She was steadily waking up so that meant that she was almost through her cup of coffee. However I knew it was likely that she would grab a second one as her caffeine dependency had been rising for quite some time. I would have to work on breaking her habit. Or at the very least convert her to a cup of green tea in the morning or something similar.

“We only just moved in together and you are already doing me like this! I’m leaving you for another gorgeous demon!”

“Gorgeous, am I?”

“Oh don’t even play. You’re a very pretty man and you know it.” she waved her hand dismissively at me, “Everytime we go out together I’m pretty sure all of the girls start scheming to have me assassinated.”

“I hope you realize that I get similar looks from men when I’m out with you.”

The shock that washed over her face then was genuine. Midori often spoke and acted like she was so confident of herself but moments like this reminded me that she still had plenty of doubts about herself. Including but not limited to her beauty. It was not an exaggeration to state that she drew attention anytime we went out together.

“Wait, what?”

“Are you really so surprised? You get a lot of looks from men everytime. A few have actually tried to approach us to speak to you.”

“Seriously?! How come I never saw them?”

I gave her an innocent smile, “I guess they simply thought better of speaking to a young woman already in a relationship.”

Midori narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me, “You gave them one of your scary looks, didn’t you?”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

Before I transferred the onions into the skillet to carmelize, I caught sight of her smile. She always did seem to like when I got possessive of her. But she also appreciated my efforts because Midori wasn’t overly fond of strangers approaching her to flirt. I cast my eyes to the time on the microwave before looking back to my partner.

“Don’t you need to be getting dressed?”

She huffed, “Fine, fine. I guess you’re right.”

Midori slid off of the stool with a deceptive grace, leaving her empty mug abandoned on the counter. Before going to get ready, she shuffled over to me, turning my face towards her with a single hand. She gave me just a moment to stare at her before pressing a firm but chaste kiss to my lips before leaving to get dressed. I turned back to the vegetables I was cooking as she vanished back into the bedroom.  The distant hiss of the shower kicked to life as I tended to breakfast. Fortunately Midori had developed the ability to shower quickly on her work days, though she used to be pretty bad about getting out in a reasonable time. 

This was never where I had anticipated my life to go. For years my plan had only been to survive in human world and then make my escape back to demon world. Yet now the two worlds were intermingled, demons and humans coexisting regularly. And there I was, moved in with a human woman that I was calling my girlfriend. I still hadn’t quite adjusted to that but mother was ecstatic with this development. She had always been fond of Midori. Domestic bliss was not something I had ever expected to come to my life…

I think I could get used to it.

[mimymomo]

These Scars Tell Promises

Sequel! Sequel! Sequel! So, since I seem to be the Orphydice parent AU person in the Hadestown fandom, here’s the sequel to my first Orphydice story posted here. Also, no one beta-read this so...be prepared for some bad grammar.

“Okay, the first thing on our list is what Orpheus?” Eurydice asked, swinging hers and Miko’s entwined hands back and forth. An earlier competitive match of who could squeeze the other hand harder now at a standstill.

“Let me see,” Orpheus said, using one hand to fish in his pockets, the other holding their empty woven basket. After a few seconds, he draws out a crumpled piece of notebook paper. He placed the paper on his thigh and fruitlessly attempted to iron out some of its crinkles. He brought the list back to his face and began reading. “So, we need to buy clothes, a mat, a toothbrush, huh...I can’t read the rest.”

Eurydice gave Orpheus a look, “didn’t you write the list yourself?”

“Yes...”

Eurydice rolled her eyes and laughed at her husband’s endearing silliness. “It’s fine. We’ll just figure it out as we go along. Miko, you stay close to us, okay? It’s really busy here.”

The market is located in the middle of town. Years ago, when Eurydice had first arrived, the market barely existed- nothing more than one or two stalls selling half-decent goods at overblown prices. Desperate sellers trying to make a buck from desperate survivors. But, ever since the return of spring and the balance of seasons a few years prior, produce and trade had exploded, resulting in the market heavily expanding. Now stalls, tents, and pushcarts lined the streets and filled with not only fresh fruits and vegetables but livestock, clothes, jewelry, homemade goods, and everything under the sun. Sometimes, even live music would be played near the entrance. With a careful ear, the boisterous songs could be heard when walking through the maze of screaming business.

The family of three pushed their way through the crowd. They stopped at nearly every stall in an attempt to check some items off their list. With not much money to either of their names, the couple knew how to bargain down prices with owners- Eurydice with her seasoned haggling skills and Orpheus and his boyish charms, they were a force to be reckoned with (plus a reference to the Hadestown experience and be the reason for the return of spring usually got people to change their minds real quick. Orpheus hated using this tactic so it was only used for the direst of instances and when Orpheus wasn’t present).

Miko stood a few steps behind the two, whipping his head around to take in all the sights. He had been to the market before, usually staying close to the exits so he could beg for scraps or spare change. The one time he ventured further into the fray, he had gotten caught trying to steal some bread from a particular cruel vendor and got beaten as a punishment. Then, he met Euri. Miko was grateful for his new home with Euri and Orphe, away from the mean man and his wife. No more yelling and cursing, no more hits and slaps and painful bruises, no more running away in the middle of the night and begging on the streets. He was free.

Then, from the corner of his eye, he saw him. A chill went up up the young boy's spine. No, he couldn’t have been there, he never comes here. He always made Miko or his wife go, ‘too much work’ he would say. Yet, Miko could recognize that jacket anywhere- black and maroon flannel lined with a cream fleece interior. Miko felt his breathing hitch. He couldn’t catch a breath no matter how deeply he inhaled. The world was spinning, round and round and round. The noises of chattering townsfolk and hollering shop owners rang in his ears- it was too loud. He wanted it all to stop.

“Okay, I think that’s about everything,” Eurydice said, rearranging the contents in their basket. “Miko, are you okay?”

Miko glanced back up at Euri, wringing his fidgeting hands, “I, I thought I saw-” He turned back around, but the man was gone, no sight of that familiar red in the dense crowd. “I...I okay.”

“Are you sure? You’re shaking like a leaf?” she asked, a ribbon of concern lacing every word. Miko just shook his head, still partially out of it. Eurydice didn’t believe him but glanced over to her husband. She was new to this mom thing. She had no clue how to handle situations like this.

Orpheus shook his head. There was no need to push him, he’d open when he was ready. “Yeah, it’s kinda chilly out here, huh, Miko?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah, yeah it is.”

“I think Kimberly runs a hot apple cider stand just up that way.” Orpheus pointed in the direction back the way they came, “let’s go grab a cup, okay?” Miko nodded his head, and Orpheus smiled, running his hand over the boy’s dark hair and down the side of his face, “okay then.”

Eurydice grabbed Miko’s hand and squeezed it. Then they were off. Miko felt the uneasiness in his stomach begin to lighten, replaced with warm relief at only Euri’s strength, and Orphe’s hopeful air could give.

“There’s Kimberly’s stand,” Orpheus said. Kimerbely’s stand was nothing extravagant- three large pitchers, two see-through, the other sterling silver, were on top of a single table covered with a red tablecloth, covered by an awning. Lime green and orange juices filled the two clear pitchers, thin slices of oranges, and what looked to be lemons and limes were placed in the jars as well. That left the silver pitcher to be the one with the cinder. Stacks of wrapped cookies and fruit bars lined the right side of the table, and a small chalkboard with prices occupied the left. A sweet, fruity scent filled the air as they approached, drawing them in, their mouths watering. However, they didn’t seem to be the only people who craved a warm treat on a chilly afternoon. They were greeted to a line stretching back to the middle of the pathway, a good dozen people or so.

Once they reached a few feet from the stand, Eurydice dropped Miko’s hand to pull out money from her satchel. “Okay, let’s see, where exactly does this line start?” Eurydice searched while Orpheus stood on his toes to catch a peek at the price board, both their backs turned to Miko. With both of them distracted, they failed to stop what happened next.

Miko felt a harsh tug and the back of his hood, forcing him to backpedal. Before he could scream, a grimy hand slipped over his mouth. 

“Well, well, well.”

 Miko froze. ‘No, no, no, no,’ he repeated his mantra of pleads his head, slowly turning around and was met with his worst nightmare: his father.

He was wearing the flannel jacket, covered in various colored stains from years of inadequate care, and a dirty black cap, the one he always wore when going out. It pushed back his greasy brown locks while hiding his menacing blue eyes under the brim. He removed his hand, “so, this is where you ran off to.”

Miko slowly stepped back, but his father continued to loom over ahead, his large frame casting a dark shadow over Miko, blocking any light. “Me and the wife have been looking for you.” Miko hardly believed that- his father only cared about him when he was useful, which wasn’t very often in his eyes. And his wife was probably passed out at the table, buzzed out of her mind from all the “juice” she’s consumed. His “parents” weren’t the type to go and gather a search party at the prospect of his disappearance.

“It don’t matter now. You’re back. Come on we’re going home.”

Miko shook his head, “no.”

His father began to scowl, eyes as pointed as freshly sharpened daggers. “What the hell you just say to me?”

Miko felt his little remaining confidence began to waver like someone had begun chipping away pieces of his armor. But he stood his ground, “not going.”

Ablaze of fury lit inside his father's eyes. The monster had unleashed, and he wasn’t happy. He reached out with his filthy fingers and coiled them around Miko’s arm. And with a forceful tug, he drew the boy close. He bent down, face to face with Miko, the strong stench of booze stinging the little boy's nose. “I didn’t fucking ask you what you wanted. Get your ass in gear, and let’s move!”

…

The line was much shorter than they thought, the group the dozen or so individuals all left at the same time which, left Orpheus and Eurydice next.

“Hey, long time no see,” Kimberly said, her eyes and smile bright as usual. “Let me guess, two hot ciders?”

“Actually, make that three ciders please,” Orpheus corrected politely.

“Three?” Kimberly asked puzzled. She glanced at the couple, “are one of you planning on drinkin’ two cups?”

“No, it’s for…” Eurydice spun around to see the spot next to her was vacant. No blue sweatshirt, no dark curly hair, no small boy, no Miko. “Miko? Miko? Miko!” Eurydice turned to Orpheus, “where’s Miko?”

Orpheus’ eyes widened and he began to search for Miko as well, “I, I don’t know. He was just right here! Miko!”

“Miko? Miko!”

The couple felt themselves start to panic. Eurydice frantically spun in circles looking in every direction for the young boy whole Orpheus scanned above the crowd. But they both were coming up completely empty until Orpheus saw a familiar hoodie in the distance.

“There! I see him!”

“Well then let’s go!” The two took off, completely forgetting about Kimberly and their ciders. They had their boy to get back.

…

He was pulling too hard, Miko’s wrist on fire from his grip. His father led him in the direction of the exit opposite of where he, Eurydice, and Orpheus had entered. He bumped into people’s legs with his shoulders and stepped on other's toes. People scoffed and yelled, but his father didn’t even bat an eye. Miko yanked his arm as hard as he could, again and again, and again. But, it didn’t matter, the older man was way too strong.

Just as Miko began to embrace his fate, he heard his name being called in the far distance.

“Miko! Miko!”

“Hey, stop!”

Eurydice and Orpheus.

“The hell…” his father spit, forcefully maneuvering himself and Miko through the crowd and into a dark, shady alley. While trying to escape the view of onlookers, the hammered man tripped over a piece of debris, loosening his grip. Miko slipped away his wrist and turned to run. However, his plan was quickly thwarted by his father, who took ahold of his hood and jerked him back, cutting off his airway for a short second. Miko gasped and coughed, falling to his knees from the shock of being choked, even if it was just for a short period. His father took him by the hood again and brought the boy up in the air, the tips of his feet just barely touching the ground. “The hell stunt you tryin’ to pull boy?” he growled.

Miko struggled to breathe, the cotton fabric of his hoodie pushing against his throat. He was getting dizzy and light-headed. He wanted his Euri and Orphe.

“Miko!”

Miko, twisted his head to see Eurydice and Orpheus running in his direction. “Eu..ri,” he slurred, his voice still raspy and sore from the constant pulling of his hood.

His father addressed the young couple, “just who the hell are you people?”

“Give is our kid back,” Eurydice snarled, not bothering to dignify the man with a proper response to his question.

The man cackled, “your kid?” He sauntered over to the young woman, cockiness oozing through each footstep. “You sure as hell don’t look that whore I banged a few years back. Who left that, leech,” he spat as if poison on his tongue, “on my porch, claiming that was my kid. Forcing me to look after that ingrate. So, no girly, that ain’t your kid.”

Eurydice’s fingers balled into a tight fist, blood pounding in her ears. She knew she needed to keep her composure, but it was a losing battle. She took a deep breath closing her eyes, “well, I know damn well that we’d be better parents than you could ever dream of being. And that Miko would much rather come home with us.”

“That brat doesn’t know what he wants!”

“Yes, I do,” Miko said, running to stand between his father and Eurydice. “I want Euri and Orphe!” The man sent a quick slap to Miko’s face, the sound echoing in the deserted alley.

Eurydice felt something snap inside her, and without fully realizing it, she impulsively punched the man in front of her.

A brawl broke out between the two. The man may be twice her size, but Eurydice was quicker on her feet. She had been in plenty of fights in her life, mostly in bars or beds, and usually with men like Miko’s supposed father: sloppy drunk.

All of a sudden, Miko felt his body get scooped up and wrapped in a tight embrace. “Orphe!” he wailed, burrowing his head against Orpheus’ warm skin, violent sobs wracking his tiny body. Orpheus cradled the back of Miko’s head into the crook of his neck, wanting to shield the boy from the fighting in front of them. 

“Shh, shhh, I’ve got you, Miko,” Orpheus cooed, bobbing his body up and down in an attempt to soothe the frantic child, “we’re here. Everything is fine.”

Eurydice continued her assault on the older man, venting all her wrath through the sharp, snappy attacks of her fist. The sound of heavy punches and kicks hitting tough skin and pained grunts and moans sang throughout the alleyway.

“Fine,” the man yelled, pulling away from Eurydice, his lip busted and bleeding and nose unnaturally crooked. “If you want that little shit so badly, take him. He ain’t worth any of this!” He hurled venous insults at the family as he staggered away, the sight of his limping body disappearing in the sea of people.

Eurydice pulled herself to her feet, spitting a mix of blood and dirt from her mouth onto the grimy pavement. After adjusting her rumpled dress and with a quick swipe at her nose, she spun around to face Orpheus and Miko. Suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch, all the anger vanished from Eurydice’s eyes, replaced with a look of alarm. “Miko! Oh, honey, are you okay?” 

Miko timidly lifted his head from Orpheus’ shoulder and was greeted by an unholy sight. Eurydice was sporting a jagged cut on her forehead, puffy, and covered in muck. Her left eye was swollen shut. A dark mark that most certainly would bruise rested on her cheek. And blood pooled from her nose, dripping crimson droplets onto her now ripped dress.

    Miko’s face scrunched up in agony, his chin trembling, “Euri! Euri, I sorry! I sorry Euri! I so sorry!”

“Oh, Miko,” Eurydice cried, urgency bleeding through her words, as she sped over the boy. She placed her hands on Miko’s wet cheeks, gently avoiding the red welts of an imprinted hand. Orpheus gasped at how raw and bruised her knuckles were. But Eurydice paid no mind to her pain, completely centering her focus on the weeping child in her husband’s arms. “Miko. No, no, Miko, don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault.”

“No! Euri hurt! Euri hurt, and it’s all my fault!” Miko was hysterical, the dam holding back his tears had decimated. Soon his words were lost in a slurry of blubbering tears and slobbery sniffles.

“No, no, Miko, that’s not true. Right, Orpheus? Orpheus...” Eurydice trailed off taking a good look at her husband. 

His eyes were red and glassy from trying to hold back tears, his body oddly jerking. He looked so pained and lost, like a young child, like Miko.

Eurydice frowned, she didn’t realize how worried not only Miko would be, but Orpheus as well. She felt exhausted, her body aching. Silently, amidst her tears, she pulled the two boys into her arms, her fingers curling into the hair on the back of their heads. The boys quickly followed suit, Miko dipping his head into Eurydice’s neck, Orpheus wrapping his one empty arm around his wife’s back. They hugged and hugged tight until not an inch of space was left between them, the air unbelievably hot. The three stayed there in the alley weeping for who knows how long. Noises from the bustling market just a few steps away faded to nothing, static in the ears. The pungent smell of putrid produce and rotting meat wafted through the air around them, but none of them cared. They just held each other close, and listened to their muffled cries, mumbled apologies, pounding heartbeats, and shaky breaths.

Eurydice was the first to pull back, eyes shifting back and forth, from Miko to Orpheus, Orpheus to Miko. The young boy had stopped his stopping crying, heavy sobs, exchanged for soft hiccups.

“Miko, Miko, listen to me,” Eurydice said, her voice stern yet brimming with love. “You listening?” He nodded his head. “This was not your fault. None of it, absolutely none. You hear me?”

Miko shook his head, “but-”

“No buts,” Eurydice said fiercely, burning brown eyes locked with teal green. She needed him to hear her, understand what she was saying. She couldn’t let him continue to blame himself and living with undeserved guilt. “This, all of what happened here, wasn’t your fault. You are not in trouble for any of this.”

Miko sniffled once more, “but you got hurt…”

“I’ll be just fine,” Eurydice smiled, brushing dark locks out of Miko’s face. “Cuts and wounds heal and fade away. Some may become scars that stay, but even those, in turn, heal. And each scar tells a story, some pleasant, some painful.” She stares into shimmering teal irises. “And these scars I have here,” she points to the cut on her forehead and the scratches littering her face, “are tales of promises. Promises that I will always, always, protect you. From any harm or any danger. Okay?”

Eurydice didn’t know where these words were coming from, but she had a strong suspicion. After years together, her poet was rubbing off on her. All his constant promises of love and stability and a brighter future, his quiet affirmations on her darkest days that light was still there, and things would get better his loyalty and faith. Eurydice knew the power of true love and promises, and she wanted to share that with the other most important person in her life. She may have only known the boy for a little over a day, but she couldn’t imagine her life without him or Orpheus in it. When she fell, she fell hard fast. 

The young boy rubbed his nose, “okay, Euri.”

“Can you smile for me?” she asked, yet Miko continued to frown. “Ahh come on, can I get one smile please?” He gave her a weak, uneasy smile. “Nope, that won’t do. I need a real, big smile. I guess I’m just gonna have to...tickle you for it!” Eurydice wiggled her fingers on Miko’s tummy, causing him to laugh, a wide grin spilling over his lips.

“Euri!” Miko screamed through giggles.

Eurydice abandoned her assault, “there, perfect.” She leaned over a placed a quick kiss on his flushed cheek before turning to face Orpheus. “Lover, why are you crying? You and I both know I’ve been through much worse.”

Orpheus didn’t respond. Instead, he reached out to cup Eurydice’s cheek. Smeared blood stained his calloused hands, still sticky and faintly warm. Hazel eyes dimmed, fingertips running light circles over red bruises. He could’ve stopped this. He should’ve stopped this. What kind of husband just stands and watches his wife take on a man double her size? A bad one.

Eurydice, as if she could read his mind, shook her head, “you couldn’t have done anything, Lover.”

“I could’ve helped you,” he said lowly.

“You did. You protected Miko and kept him safe. That helped me more than any punch.”

Orpheus lifted her busted hands to his face, placing feathery kisses over each knuckle. His lips the best medicine she could ask for. Next, he moved to her cheeks, then her temples, and nose, careful not to apply too much pressure, and finally her lips.

“Yuck,” Miko gagged, sticking his tongue out and closing his eyes.

The two pulled away and glanced over at their boy. “Yuck? What do you mean ‘yuck’?” Eurydice asked, feigning offense. She began kissing all over Miko’s face, Orpheus joining in as well.

“Ahhh, no,” he shrieked, squirming in Orpheus’ arms.

With a final kiss, Eurydice backed away, “alright, you two, ready to head home?”

Orpheus sighed, “yes, please.”

Miko grinned, “home!”

The three made their way out of the darkened alley and back onto the main road. The sun was setting over the horizon; the sky tinted an array of oranges and purples. The once crowded street was now nearly desolate. Men and women, and others were busy wrapping up and shutting down their stalls.

“I guess the market is closing up,” Orpheus concluded as they continued their walk.

As they reached the entrance, Miko spoke up, "hey Orphe?”

“Yes, Miko?”

“Where’s the basket?”

Orpheus furrowed his brows. “What basket?” he asked, puzzled.

“You and Euri’s.”

Oh, their grocery basket! “Oh, that’s right…” Wait, where did they put it at?

Suddenly, Orpheus froze in his spot.

“Orpheus?” Eurydice asked, confusion plaguing her expression.

“Eurydice.”

“Yes?”

“We left the grocery basket in the alley…”

“...shit.”       

[kat-feinated]

My favorite Denver restaurants

How was your week?

My week included being invited to have a threesome with two of my work clients, who are both meth addicts and lost custody of their child due to said meth addiction.

My boss asked me to send the text to her and just replied “FOR GOD SAKE” and I feel like that’s the perfect summary of my year.

Speaking of meth, we finally finished watching “Tiger King” this week. I know I know, that show is so one month ago. But I have a lot of thoughts that I need to share with the world.

1. Did anyone else find Joe really sympathetic and felt bad for him? Yes, I know he’s unstable and probably killed animals and stuff but I found him...endearing!? 

2. Doc Antle is the creepiest ever ever ever. 

3. Jeff Lowe sucks. And his wife is way too young for him. And THE WHOLE THING WITH THE NANNY I JUST CAN’T.

4. The guy with no legs whose name I can’t remember was my favorite character. And just seems so normal. How did he end up there!?

5. I’m proud of Saff for standing up for Joe in the aftershow...everyone else just sold him down the river!

6. Howard Baskin. Howard Baskin singing. Howard Baskin’s wedding photos with Carole Baskin. The show is worth watching just for Howard Baskin.

7. Do I think Carole murdered her husband and fed him to a tiger? Yes. Would I still hang out with her in a heartbeat? ABSOLUTELY.

8. I’m extremely mad that I didn’t come up with “hey all you cool cats and kittens”. And now it’s already over-used.

Do you miss eating at restaurants as much as I do? (Probably not because you’re probably a normal person who has friends and other hobbies). I miss restaurants so much it HURTS. I miss looking up menus and deciding what I’m going to order days before I go. I miss people-watching and commenting on everyone else’s food. I miss kind servers bringing me baskets of bread and drinks that I didn’t make. I MISS RESTAURANTS YOU GUYS.

So, while I’m eagerly waiting for restaurants to start re-opening, I thought it would be fun to share my very favorite places to eat in Denver. Share this list with your favorite Denver local! Or better yet, come visit Denver and try these spots out (and invite me!!). 

Cuba Cuba: This was the first restaurant I tried in Denver, because it’s across the street from our old apartment. It’s located in an adorable blue bungalow but is surprisingly spacious on the inside. For drinks, order their house made mojitos or a pina colada. For appetizers, order the plantain chips with guacamole and garlic sauce (YUM) or the empanadas. Everything I’ve eaten there for dinner has been delicious, but I especially love the coconut shrimp and the chimichurri steak.

Perfect for: a date night or girls’ night where you feel like getting a little dressed up (but you’d be fine going there dressed more casually).

Rioja: This is my mom’s favorite Denver restaurant, and she insists we go every single time she’s in town. It’s located in Larimer Square, the cutest and most charming street in downtown Denver. It’s a bunch of old Victorian buildings that have been converted into restaurants and shops, and the street is decorated with twinkly lights and Colorado state flags so it’s a great spot to get a touristy picture when you visit.

The menu changes constantly, so it’s hard to recommend exactly what to order, but you can’t go wrong with the pasta dishes. They are known for their artichoke tortelloni and it’s honestly the best pasta I’ve ever eaten in my life. Last time we also ordered the tagliatelle and clams which was fantastic. For starters, order the smoked pear and raclette if it’s available-so yummy.

Also, Rioja makes all their bread in house, and it’s probably our favorite part of the restaurant. Waiters literally come around with a giant tray of bread and I always try every single type. The lavender sourdough and rosemary biscuit are life-changing.

Perfect for: when your parents come visit (and pay!) or a special occasion like an anniversary or birthday dinner. It is on the pricey side.

Work & Class: This is probably the Denver restaurant I’ve eaten at the most. Located in the very hip Five Points neighborhood, Work & Class is always busy and does not take reservations, so I would recommend going on a random weeknight vs. a Friday or Saturday. If you do go on the weekend, plan on an hour plus wait-the good news is you’re surrounded by bars and breweries to help pass the time.

Work & Class is a South American/American fusion restaurant, and everything is served tapas (small plates) style, so go with someone you are cool sharing with. They have fabulous in-house cocktails which change seasonally, so definitely order one while you peruse the menu. It’s hard to make food recommendations since I’ve probably tried everything on the menu and have never been disappointed, but some of my favorites include: the lamb, the empanadas, the mac & cheese, and any of their vegetable side dishes.

Perfect for: your group of friends who you’re comfortable sharing with (eating off of each other’s plates!).

Mercantile Dining & Provisions: This is another spot that my mom insists on visiting every time she comes to Denver. It’s located in Union Station in downtown Denver, which is itself a great spot to visit. It’s an old train station (that is still a working train station) but also home to a hotel, an ice cream parlor, a bookshop, a florist, and every other small adorable business you can imagine.

Mercantile serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner (I’ve had all 3 there), but my mom and I have created what we believe is the perfect system for dining there. We always go on the day she is leaving town, since she can take the train from Union Station to the Denver Airport after our meal. We try to go around 11am, and we order a raspberry muffin. My mom doesn’t even like muffins, but these are no ordinary muffins-not too sweet, perfectly fluffy, moist (I’M SORRY) -just sheer perfection. After sitting and people watching for about an hour, we then order a short rib sandwich around noon, as soon as they start serving their lunch menu (it gets quite busy at this time). SO GOOD. SO TASTY. Plus, the restaurant itself is so cute-it looks like Joanna Gaines designed the perfect black-and-white chic modern farmhouse.

Perfect for: brunch/lunch after a morning exploring downtown Denver, or a quick bite before catching the train to the airport.

Lowdown Brewery: Is it cheating that this is actually a brewery and not a restaurant? I say it counts because they make all their food in house. I don’t always love going to the popular breweries around Denver because they’re usually packed. I’ve never seen Lowdown packed and in my opinion it’s the best brewery in Denver in terms of food and ambience-and the beer is good too!

Not only do they make and sell their own beers, but their menu always features a seasonally rotating list of Colorado beers as well. They have a lot of IPA’s (which I despise but everyone else seems to love). I’ve tried their blood orange wheat, selfish (pale ale), and their blackberry sour and have enjoyed all three. In terms of food, you can’t go wrong with any of their pizzas, salads, or sandwiches, but I personally can’t get enough of their beer cheese dip (served with broccoli, apple slices, and soft pretzel bites-I’M DROOLING).

Perfect for: sitting out on their patio with friends in the warm weather. Bring your dog!

El Five: El Five has one of the coolest views of downtown Denver, not to mention delicious food and drinks and great service. Their sangria is the best I’ve ever tasted, but they have tons of great cocktail, beer and wine choices if that’s not your thing (but also what is wrong with you). For appetizers, try the spreads of the med-a platter of house made pita, hummus, and veggies. For their traditional tapas, I’ve tried and enjoyed the patatas bravas, the shrimp & calamari, and the goat cheese croquettes. Then, of course, you must try their paella. I’ve tried both the Valencian (made with rabbit confit!) and the seafood and would recommend either. Be prepared to log roll out of the restaurant when you’re finished because you will have gained 100 pounds.

Perfect for: a festive date night, dinner with your parents, drinks with your girlfriends-just be prepared for an expensive bill.

Stowaway: I’ve only been to Stowaway once, right before the shelter in place order started, but I’ve been dreaming about it ever since. First of all, it is tucked into the cutest former warehouse-turned-hipster-coffee shop/brunch spot, complete with exposed pipes and red brick walls. I AM HERE FOR IT.

We went on a Sunday morning with some friends who warned us to expect a bit of a wait. Fortunately, the Denver Central Market is just a few blocks away so we were able to enjoy some cocktails and/or coffee while we waited.

When we finally got in, I ordered the Colorful Colorado (an egg dish) because of the 8 million reviews I’d read ahead of time that told me I must order this dish or live a life of unending misery and regret (ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but it was something along those lines). I also split the fruit toast with Joshua because I have to order something sweet and something savory when I go to brunch (I know I have a problem, just leave me alone). Both were so freaking good. I can’t wait to go back soon and try everything on their menu (or more likely, order the same two dishes over and over again).

Perfect for: brunch with your favorite hipster friend.

Linger: This is the one restaurant on my list that I love more for the location/ambience than for the food, though the food is certainly tasty. Linger is located in my favorite neighborhood in Denver (LoHi or Lower Highlands) and the building it’s in USED TO BE A MORTUARY. Like, WHERE DEAD PEOPLE WOULD BE SENT AFTER THEY DIED. I personally find this so cool, and if this freaks you out, you would never know except that I just told you (sorry). It’s very airy inside with cozy mood lighting and exposed brick walls. This is another place that does small plates and they’re all globally-inspired street food dishes-the menu is literally divided by continent (i.e. Asia, Africa). For drinks, order the turmeric mule. For eating, you really can’t go wrong, but some dishes I’ve enjoyed include: the bao buns, the impossible burger persian sliders, the tuna tostadas, and the potato masala dosa. Skip dessert because right around the corner you’ll find Little Man Ice Cream-one of my favorite ice cream spots in the city.

Perfect for: a first date/date night, a girls’ night, or a summer brunch on their rooftop bar.

Snooze: Full disclosure-Snooze is a chain and is not just located in Denver; they have locations across Colorado and in a few other states including Texas and California. That being said, I just have to include it on my list because I believe it is completely worth the hype.

Because there is always a long wait (I’m talking 2 hours sometimes), we always go on a Monday morning when there’s a federal holiday that other people don’t get off, such as Columbus Day. Don’t kid yourself-there will still be a wait, but it will hopefully be closer to one hour. Plus, they give out free coffee while you wait!

I don’t even like pancakes, but I always order the pancakes here. ORDER THE DAMN PANCAKES PEOPLE. You can even get a pancake flight where you can sample three different types of pancakes (I highly recommend the blueberry danish pancakes and the sweet potato pancakes). If I’m in a savory mood, I’ll order the breakfast tacos with a side of one pancake.

Perfect for: brunch with your friend, brunch with family or anyone with kids, brunch with your arch nemesis, brunch with anyone.

Hopefully this list made you excited to go back to restaurants again in the future, instead of depressed! And please send me your best restaurant recommendations! These conversations are what I live for.