#it's very difficult since there are a lot of liberties i want to take as well. gotta strike a good balance

[gilfodile]

i don't have any new drawings to offer unfortunately but rn the concept i have for odette is that since her name's french she's clearly a vaugardian that moved to ka bue for whatever reason--so she likely follows change too. so her talk about it's part of why odile's so skeptical of the belief

[willowedspirits]

Hollow Knight Linked Universe AU! I've finally finished it!

If you don't know much about Hollow Knight, a lot of the technicalities might not make sense, and I would encourage you to look into the game. Or you could just enjoy the chain as bugs and see them off on their buggy adventures!

I've made this AU trying to keep as close as I can to Hollow Knight's story, but some creative liberties were of course taken.

My main idea is that the infection is the equivalent to Dark Link's (who does exist in this) infected monsters and it's up to them to try and slow/stop the infection. My first thought was to have the infection start to spread outside of Hallownest, and the chain needs to go and stop it, but I'm still going back and forth on it.

I'm still open to changing concepts if I find something that works better, but after literal months of working on this on and off I'm happy with how this has turned out!

Rambling about character details below!

Small note: I've set this AU at roughly the start of the infection, when Radiance was starting to take over Hallownest.

Time

Is not from Hallownest. He traveled to Hallownest from a distant land, where he met Malon and settled down with her.

He encountered Radiance upon entering Hallownest, but was protected by a god that had already laid claim to him, Fierce Deity, who protects him from the Radiance's infection.

He and Malon live in the Howling Cliffs.

His wing and antenna injury are from Radiance when she tried to infect him.

He is not able to fly because of the injury, and now fights with a heavy nail.

His wings used to be green, but after encountering the Fierce Deity, they slowly started to change in color until they were blue.

I'm not sure if I would do anything with the eyes on his wings, I was trying to make a connection to Majora in that, but I'm still debating whether to add it.

Twilight

Is a part of the Traitor Mantis tribe that lives in the Queen's Garden.

He met a Sibling (Midna) that escaped from the Abyss. They gave him the ability to harness Void.

Still working on the detail for how exactly they give him this ability, but my rough idea is that perhaps both of them were attacked by and infected villager, and they saved him by giving up their Void essence.

He's grown up wanting to be infected by the Radiance. He was taught the Radiance was a god that gave bugs great strength, but after seeing what the infection really does, he starts to have second thoughts.

The cloak he is wearing is new. The one he wore before was damaged. I'm still debating on when exactly he gets it, but I think it's something he makes after he leaves the traitor village.

Warriors

He is the head knight of the Hive and oversees whoever enters their territory.

His scarf is a gift from the princess of the Hive given to him when he leaves to join the group.

Since he is a bee, he is connected to the Hive via the hivemind. He uses this to check in on his home whenever he can.

This also makes it very dangerous if he gets infected, since it would quickly spread to the other bee's.

I kept his nail the same as Hive Knight's, but it's open to change.

Four

(I'm still very iffy on Four's story concept, but here's what I have so far)

Lives in Green Path.

He has a passion for weapon smithing, and planned on moving to the capital of Hallownest (City of Tears).

But he accidently stumbled on a weak Unn, and agreed to help protect her while she recovered.

When she did recover, she blessed him with a power that allows him to split into 4 parts of himself using his SOUL.

He can split while in the physical world, but will always be split while in the Dream realm. This also makes it difficult for Radiance to infect him.

Wind

Lives in the Kingdom's Edge and works as a guide across the acid lakes. Most of the travelers are those who are seeking to fight in the Colosseum of Fools.

This is how he found the Colosseum, and regularly attends (but not participate in) some of the fights, which is how he meets Tetra.

He is just learning to fly, but is picking it up really fast.

I wanted to keep the lobster apart of his design... But there are no lobsters in Hollow Knight... Then I remembered this was an AU and I can do what I want with it. So lets just pretend that Lobsters are seen as these awesome ancient beings that he wishes to see one day.

Wild

He was a guardian of the Beast's Den before he became infected, leaving the Den to reside somewhere in Deep Nest.

He is cured by the Dream Nail when the group meets him, and the last to join.

His shell is cracked and damaged because of the infection. The cracks have healed over time, but will never go away.

He has trouble with his memory due to being infected for so long before being cured. He is slowly regaining his memory, but there are still a lot of pieces missing.

His infection spread through to his arm, but is hidden under his cloak.

He uses his nails almost as throwing needles.

Legend

Is a shop owner in Hallownest's capital. He sells all kinds of items from all across Hallownest, small things he's found that could be valuable.

He's managed to make his way into the upper class of the capital due to his shop. His cloak is a modified version of the upper-class wardrobe. He dyed and added the hood himself.

Has a great sense of exploration, and has been all over Hallownest, but still has some places he needs to check off.

His jewelry are all gifts from Ravio.

My original concept for his design was to give him 4 arms. I was thinking of the Collector when designing him, and thought it fit. But after working on finalizing the design, I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep it. I still love the concept though.

Hyrule

(Again, I don't have a clear story concept for him but I have some notes)

Lives in the Ancient Basin.

Has learned how to use SOUL, and is in hiding from the residents of the Soul Sanctum because of it.

He has access to spells and is able to heal himself using SOUL.

I originally gave him a cloak, but couldn't decide if he looked better with or without it. So he does have it, but only sometimes.

Sky

Is the wielder of the Dream Nail, which can be used to cure infected bugs by purging the Radiance from their dream's.

Has wanted to learn to fight with a nail since he was little, and would practice his skills.

He learned about the Dream Nail after some of the moth tribe became infected. He left shortly after he learned this infection was spreading through Hallownest, with the goal of stopping it.

He isn't the only one that can use the Dream Nail, but is the one dubbed the "owner" of it.

And that's what I've got!

I didn't go much into Dark Link here, but would be happy to show some concepts I have for him as well if anybody is curious. I'm making him almost like a living version of the Radiance's infection, and is able to spread it from bug to bug without needing to access their dreams. This is mainly why I'm torn on having them leave Hallownest. If Dark Link could spread the infection to farther lands, or to keep him inside Hallownest and just spread it faster there.

I thought that using the Dream Nail was a good equivalent to the Master Sword here, so I just mashed them together, and a lot of the motivations for the chain trying to stop the infection is "I'm seeing this awful thing happen to these bugs that I don't want to see happen to others," with some small variations here and there.

I've been working on this for so long, I just want to share by bug boys. I would love to gush and ramble about them some more. I have stuff I want to do with this AU.

[mamirhodessxox]

request for single dilf cody and babysitter where he’s home early from work. the baby’s already down for the night so it’s just the two of them with nothing else to do on a saturday night. maybe they have drinks and put on a movie and one thing leads to another? idk, please take whatever liberties you want!

I Adore You <3

Single Dad!Cody Rhodes x Babysitter Fem!Reader

Desc: It all started when Cody asked for help on a babysitter site so someone could help his 3 little kiddies when he was at work & that’s when Y/N applied! 3 years go by and after a lot of emotional tension the two finally talk to each other privately!

Contents: Fluff!! Cody weak in the knees for lil miss Y/N, Drinking, Cussing, Body touching, Making out, Fluff!!!, Smut, Crying, Overstimulation, Aftercare.

🏷️ list: @alyyaanna @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @adollonyourshelf @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41 @harmshake @femdisa @kabloswrld @bones-rhodes @claymoresofinfamy23 @edtomh @cococodysleevlesshoodie

{~I'm very serious with you guys interacting with my writing!!!! it would make me so happy & excited, the more comments & reposts the more inspiration i have to write :) likes and comments are strongly appreciated so please COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMEENNTTT the more comments the more content <3!!!~}

Usually babysitting 3 kids wouldn't be easy for the average baby sitter but luckily that wasn't the case..Y/N had been babysitting 3 kids for over 3 years after her employer took to a babysitting blog asking for assistance since he would be going on the road sometimes or needed someone willing to travel with him when the kids were able to go on the road. His name was Cody, Y/N knew who Cody was before even taking the application she just wasn't a die hard fan, that was her parents. She only took the application simply because she likes kid's and she actually handles them pretty well.

3 kids. 2 twin boys now hitting 10 & 1 girl who just turned 3 years old, Braden, Chase & Harper Rhodes. Cody had went through a nasty divorce in 2022 after Harper was born, His then wife was unhappy but also a terrible mother who ignored the boys & kept starting arguments with Cody in front of them. After his divorce he got full custody over the kids but also needed assistance when they traveled with him when he was scheduled for shows.

Y/N had gotten verry close with him & the kids over the years, Cody & the kids had considered Y/N apart of the family, she was invited to every event and holiday party you could think of, she was even at the house almost everyday just to hang out and now that it was summer time she was spending a lot more time with them, chalk activities in the drive way, water balloons in the back, grilling later at sunset, movie nights etc, besides the kids Y/N & Cody themselves had a good bond between each other, Corny inside jokes that he would find himself snickering at if he was doing something in the kitchen, For self defense when she would be out alone he went out of his way to teach her how to fight for just incase purposes especially when she was with the kids.

As of this week Cody was in and out of town doing plenty of promos & Y/N had been watching over the kids & during her free time she & Cody would FaceTime for a fee minutes before finishing up the kids’ screen time, “How’s my babygirl Harper?” Y/N shrugged at the question and turned her head to see the little girl playing in the corner with her dolls while her brothers watched TV for a little bit, Harper had bad separation anxiety when it came to her dad and it was not easy for him or her when he had to go on the road for a few days, She would spend most of her time if her signature corner with her toys down in the dumps waiting for her main best friend to come back home “She’s still a little bit sad, It’s not as difficult putting her to bed as usual but it’s definitely not any easier.” Cody listened to Y/N’s words thoroughly “She’s a Daddy’s girl, Paul had some scheduling problem’s so I’m on the bus on my way back, I should be home by later tonight how’s that sound?” Y/N smiled brightly at his words while balancing her phone against something while she made the kids their lunch.

“Sounds like a plan, They’re gonna be super excited, especially Harper” Cody nodded as he stared at Y/N through his phone screen watching her intently and paying attention to every single detail while she was talking, is that a new shirt? It has to be. He never seen her wear that top before, Her make up with light, casual, nothing about it was heavy or Caked up, “I’m gonna hang up now alright? Lunch time, I’ll see you later yeah?” Cody sighed a bit as his jaw clenched a bit & his heart ached with the fact it was time for her to set the phone down “Yeah, do whatever you need to do Doll, talk to you later.” Y/N smiled to herself at his words and set her phone down as the call was over “Lunch!!”

For most of the day Y/N had spent time with the kids, Harper had a few fits but overall she stayed patient with the kids as usual, The boys were upstairs playing while Harper sat beside the couch this time away from her signature hangout corner, Y/N had been cleaning up the kitchen after dinner for a little bit before giving the little girl most of her attention “Hey honey-girl, how you feeling?” The 3 year old shrugged her shoulders while her lips pouted before setting down her barbies “I just miss my daddy” Y/N frowned before crouching down to her level “I know sweetheart but he’s coming home very soon I promise!” Harper huffed and crossed her arms before Y/N had checked the time & noticed it was pushing bed time, "C'mon harp let's get you and the boys to bed alright?" The little girl nodded her head and got up independently and waddled her way up the stairs while Y/N went into the twins' shared bedroom "Chase, Braden c'mon time for bed" the boys frowned and set down their action figures "a few more minutes?? Pleaaaaase Y/N!” She smiled and ruffled Chases hair “Sorry hun but you know your dad’s rules” the boy huffed and nodded his head smiling before he & his brother got ready to go to bed, Y/N went into Harpers room and smiled softly as the little girl sat on her bed ready to be tucked in.

“When’s daddy coming home?” The little girl chirped before leaning back into her bed comfortably while Y/N hummed as she pulled the blanket over Harper “Tomorrow sweetheart, when you wake up he’ll be home I promise!” She quickly smiled and hugged Y/N before finally calming down while Y/N adjusted her pillows before finally letting her get rest and leaving the room.

The house was silent, the only thing to be heard was her light steps on the cold wooden floors. Y/N sat on the couch and quietly scrolled through tiktok on her phone before hearing the front door close and quietly as possible followed by a sigh, Cody took off his shoes before walking into the living room and seeing Y/N sitting comfortably looking in his direction “Hey.” She smiled at his greeting and jotted her head up “Hi, how was work?” He scratched the back of his neck before sitting next to her “It was alright, just a lot of public speaking y’know?” She nodded while setting her phone down “I just put the kids to bed, they played with chalk, had lunch watched tv and ate dinner, a pretty relaxed day” He listened to her words & had a small smile creep up from his smile before getting comfortable completely on the couch “Why don’t we have some drinks and watch a movie? Been awhile since we last hung out and had together time.” Y/N marveled at the idea & rolled her bracelets around her wrist as she thought before finally giving in and scooting closer “As long as I get to pick the movie that’s quite alright with me.”

Cody let out an airy chuckle before leaning comfortably into the couch while passing her over the remote so she could choose a movie she assumed was simple, easy going and maybe a little funny, they poured a few glasses of wine & paid attention to the screen letting out a few laughs here and there, Cody couldn’t quite remember what the name of this movie was but it seemed like a subtle hint of something since it was some cheesy rom-com, Y/N was drifting off asleep 15 minutes in making Cody do a double take from the screen to her before he decided to shut off the movie before getting up with a light groan & nudging her “hm..?” Y/N hummed out before stirring awake while he sat her up and grab ahold of her hands gently “let’s get you in bed alright? Your falling asleep” he spoke to her in a quiet tone while she groggily stood up and went up the stairs with him, Cody guided her to the guest bedroom she often slept in sometimes & help lie her down on the bed, he was just about to pull the covers over her but she frowned shaking her head in protest “Stay? At least until I fall asleep maybe?” Her lips were curled into a small pout while her hand laid against his wrist while she made room for him in the bed, how could he say no to a sweet thing like her? Cody gave in to her offer & almost immediately climbed in the bed & laid next to her.

The two were face to face with each other, his arm wrapped around her body comfortably while her hand was lying against his shoulder before nudging the tip of her nose against his “Your warm” she whispered while he smiled and rubbed his thumb against her shirt “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Y/N shrugged her shoulders and scooted a little closer “I think it’s a good thing” a small smile crept up his lips before he did what seemed to feel natural and press his lips up against Y/N’s and let out a short moan slip past his mouth while their hands explored each others bodies and grabbed at their clothes, Y/N bit at his lip & tugged his hair while he whined into her mouth before tugging on her sun dress hard enough to rip it apart and snatching off her panties “Co-!!” He tilted his head and planted his hand over her lips “what like I won’t buy you another pair tomorrow?” He teased before yanking his arm away and undressing himself before lying back next to her with her back up against his chest while he left scattered kisses against the nape of her neck. Y/N was busy becoming a hot whiney mess that pressed her ass against his dick more that enough to make him hard & desperate “knock it off.”

Cody warned Y/N when she whimpered from him smacking her ass as a warning , the tip of his dick slipping between her wet folds with ease and caressing up her clit again. She felt his chest rumble with his own moaning, too, however, his precum slipping from him and mixing with her wetness. And while he kept teasing her clit by thrusting in and out of her folds his dick eventually slipped into her pussy causing Y/N too let out a moan while he held her legs open as he fucked her from behind & his fingers dipped down her stomach into the depths of her thighs just too tease and toy with her swollen little bud. “F-Fuck it feels s-so goddamn good!” Y/N cried out while Cody grabbed a fistful of her hair and continued fucking himself into her at a rapid pace leaving the room filled with only noises that sounded like smacking, whimpering & heavy breathing

“What a pretty girl taking my cock so fucking good f’me” Cody moaned in her ear before he continued focusing on driving himself deeper into her, Y/N’s legs were shaking & she was overall overwhelmed from the amount of pleasure she was receiving, her spine shivered every time Cody teased at her clit & fucked her at the same time, he ran his free hand down his face to wipe off any tears from her face before his hips sputtered against her ass and came deep inside of her just as her climax hit “f-ffuck..” he moaned in the shell of her ear as Y/N let out short cries with her head leaned back as she kept convulsing and throbbing around his cock as her legs shook.

He had her roll over on her stomach after pulling out while he got behind her and lifted her hips up and pressed her ass back against them before fucking himself back into her while she cried into a pillow the more his thrusts became faster & harsher while he was leaning forward pressing himself against her back and kissing up on her neck “my good girl” he chanted in her ear like some sick love spell, the air in the room was thick, intimate, intense & overwhelming, Y/N panting and whining into the pillow whenever Cody slammed back into her pussy just to see her pretty face contort into an expression of pleasure while tears ran down her already red cheeks, he laid his hand against her lower back while letting out his own whimpers here and there when he felt the need to cum again, He would bury himself all the way inside of Y/N making her roll her eyes back and clutch ob the blankets, sheets, his wrist, everywhere.

“Yeah? Does that feel good pretty girl? You like it when I do that?” He taunted at her with his words while leaning back over her and kissing her shoulder while she nodded profusely before moaning out once he smacked her clit “f-fuck Cody! ‘m gonna cum again!” He smiled and fucked her at an even faster pace “c’mon angel cum for me, be a good girl for me and cum” he groaned out while she cried and flung her arm back to hold onto his hand for some support, both of them came together causing Cody to topple over her and hug her tightly against his body “love you so so much gorgeous” not a sense of nervousness or anxiety came out with those words, he said it almost naturally as if the two were already together, Y/N teared up and ended up breaking down at the sentence as overstimulation & emotion took over which alarmed him.

Cody was about to pull out to check on her but she protested immediately against his actions and pressed her ass further against him causing his cock to sink further inside of her making her moan into the pillow that was right next to her face “Sweetheart I gotta-“ she turned her head quickly and frowned at his unfinished sentence “n-no! I need you to stay, please?” This is exactly how he got into this predicament, her little pleads & the pout on her lips got him right here in this exact moment “Let me get you cleaned up first and then we’ll get back to..this, alright princess?” She sniffled a bit and nodded as he finally pulled out making her wince at the empty feeling, she rolled over on her back and watched as Cody went into the bath connected to the room & run warm water over a wash cloth & come back in the room to gently clean her up from the mess he made in-between her legs “you feeling okay?” He mumbled before pressing soft kisses against her ankle & tummy before throwing the wash cloth into the laundry basket & crawled back in bed with her & got ahold of the hair tie around her wrist and pulling her hair into a small pony tail “did you mean it?” She muttered nervously while he smiled tiredly and kissed her temple “Of course I did love, I’ve adored you for 3 whole years and I don’t think that will be changing anytime soon in the near future.” He mumbled against her hair while his hands massaged at her side “I love you too Codes.”

Mamirhodessxox’s Masterlist

[archivalofsins]

Mikoto's Advertising Secrets

So, today Star and I are going to talk about Double. Yep, it’s another team up to tackle one of the most difficult characters in Milgram. Today we’ll be discussing the Japanese and English lyrics of Double provided by the staff. Along with some fun facts and observations we’ve made from them. 

Preface

This will be going over the use of (MeMe) in the official French and English translations of Double along with the use of and etymology of the term “Newborn”. Due to the focus on these phrases since the release of Double and how the fandom has treated official translations in the past… Star and I believed it only fair to give the same scrutiny given to past translations to Double. It cannot only be a mistranslation when it’s inconvenient to how one personally views the character then absolutely correct and unquestionable when the translation (regardless of how many creative liberties it takes) supports what one personally wants to believe. 

If anyone has problems with having these topics scrutinized fully and objectively then this is not the post for them. If anyone is interested in finding out more about linguistics both English and Japanese, MeMe and Double parallels, and a lot of things about Mikoto Kayano then this post might be for you. The way I word things has always been incredibly direct and that won’t be changing over the course of this post.

This post wouldn't be possible without the discussions and help I received from not only @apatchworkstar but @tsuwmya and @doctorbunny.

With all that out of the way- Are you ready? 

Okay, well let’s jump into it!

This may have spelling errors and may be edited at a later date to add more context. Just like Mikoto's song lol~

Hi, this is Star here- Starting off this post! Gunsli and I were discussing some of the information floating around about Mikoto- them with more people than me. I was mostly bitching discussing how I found it interesting that people were taking a step away from their habit of brutally eviscerating the official translations of songs to hyper focus on the wording of Double. 

Now, Gunsli and myself have been very open about how we both believe the original lyrics and the translations both help add necessary context to all of the songs and that neither is less than the other. However, it is a bit… Irksome for people to just pick and choose what they consider a valid conversion of information. Especially since translating is already something that can be hard to carry nuance over. It also hasn’t escaped my notice what the official English translation is being used to support. Which is also aggravating, with everything else into consideration.

So, I took out my copy of Double and did what fans have been doing for most of trial two- looking at the Japanese lyrics within the cd pamphlet and comparing them to the translation. And boy was that interesting!

Don’t worry~

Mikoto is an honest man, guys~ Come on, would a guy with such tiredness in his eyes lie to us~?

…So, his song's translation has to be the pinnacle of accuracy; all with little to no artistic liberties taken, right? Well- no. 

Literally, there wouldn’t be any point of making this as a post if it was.

(Gunsli: Don’t mind the underlined parts in the english lyrics for now. That comes in later.)

Firstly,

“I’m Double (MeMe)”

“Double” is the only line actually said in this statement. “(MeMe)” is never said within the lyrics of Double. However, given that it is in parentheses (something that is meant to add additional context to a statement), “(MeMe)” technically does not have to be said within the song in order to be put into the lyrics in this way. This isn’t a case of the english lyrics being inaccurate per se, but a case of the staff using english language and grammar in order to add context to what is being said. Something that’s not only done with the English translation, but the French one too.

So this is additional context; a rare treat for fans in the west! Now, when Gunsli and I were discussing Mikoto’s second trial CD cover-

Gunsli speculated that they added in (MeMe) to hammer in that there were, in fact, only two of them. Especially given how prevalent trikoto was/is as a theory. However, neither of us thought the staff would go so far as to just present this as something that had been said when it never was just to drive in the point further. 

In every other instance during trial two when the prisoners have referenced their previous trial songs, it’s been verbally- i.e. within the lyrics themselves. Anyone can hear it, and the lines are noted in their cd pamphlets + the inside of the cd case, even if they aren’t translated as literally the lines that are said to be there are there.

Mikoto is the only one who’s official translated lyrics reference his first trial song without him verbally referencing it. 

Making this a literal instance of, “He did not fucking say that.” Musical edition~ 

I guess you could say that Mikoto is the creme de la creme- or, to phrase it better an outlier even among other outliers. Which I find amusing as hell, considering how Mikoto is being treated in Milgram currently. Because, despite the fact that he does not verbally reference his previous song in any way throughout his trial two song, the staff still chose to frame it as though Mikoto had within these translations and visuals. Like how are you gonna call yourself an honest man, then be a bigger liar than Kazui Mukuhara! At least the text that comes up in Cat is actually sung by him!

But this is something that adeptly draws attention to Mikoto’s previously stated skills and hobbies-

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

Q.07 What are your hobbies?

Mikoto: shopping / darts / photography / cycling

Q.08 What’s the most rewarding part of your current job?

Mikoto: I mean, it’s the top advertising agency in the industry? Anyone would be proud to be a part of it. I put a lot of work in just to get here, too.

Design, photography, and advertising. All things that require people to know, not only how to conduct and present themselves, but how to present others and concepts to people in a way that will be favorable and hopefully increase revenue and sales. 

So, why wouldn’t Mikoto pull out all the stops to present himself in a way that would get him a more favorable response after the train wreck that was his first trial? 

To be fair, when we were first discussing it, I didn’t really understand how tacking on (MeMe) after Double would make Mikoto look any better. Then Gunsli stated that outside of the meta viewpoint, we’d tackled already (which I had to bring to her attention)- That there was a second thing that made this translation decision interesting. 

The fact that it served to connect Mikoto back to the song at all. As though Mikoto is trying to haphazardly put his name or presence on someone else’s work. Gunsli put it best,

“It’s a great visual example of Mikoto tacking himself onto John’s pain. Connecting himself to his suffering in order to justify his actions and avoid taking accountability. Really homing in on one of the core questions Milgram as a facility and project has continued to pose to those that participate in it- Is one’s anger justifiable when they are getting angry at something that did not happen to them. Or is it simply a case of know-it-alls not being able to mind their own business? Or in the words of Mikoto from MeMe, “This isn’t too much is it?”. At what point does defending another person become too much? Can it really be considered protecting yourself if the self you’re protecting is their own person in their own right? Or is this just a new layer of self-justification that Mikoto has created in order to downplay how much agency he had over the situation. “I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing. I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon.”.”

“All I did was dream, and that’s what you found GUILTY?”

(Gunsli here- This line isn’t even the only one they do this with when it comes to the translations. They also do it again with the word us at the start of the Double. “Just the two of us, relieved, aren’t you? I’ll protect you (us).” Once again using parentheses to give further context or emphasize unstated things.)

Now, I’m gonna leave the second half of this to Gunsli-

Secondly,

"The “newborn” other you."

Gunsli here and-

Man, I really didn’t think we’d be taking the metaphorical as literal. Especially after all the fuss around the visuals of I Love You but- I guess things are only metaphorical or literal based on how convenient it is for things to be that in the moment. If we took every instance that the word baby is used in any song as literally as newborn is being taken here music would be rather complicated to say the least. 

Yet, I guess since this is a Japanese phrase it’s a bit more specific than that. That this phrase is only applicable when discussing newly born beings and nothing else. Well, not exactly. Regardless of how specific a language is there are still instances where words and phrases will have different meanings based on the context they are said in. A good deal of people like to poke fun at English for being a mutt language and incredibly indirect, but every language has room for miscommunications or misunderstandings to occur. 

Because every language is the sum of a culture's collective history. All languages are always building off of themselves and evolving and certain terms that meant one thing to the last generation can mean an entirely different thing to the next. This is true in the instance of not only the Japanese phrasing of this line but the English one as well. 

So, let’s start with the English one. 

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

Firstly, me in this instance is ore in Japanese. In the context of Milgram we know ore is used when John is referring to themselves. At least this is the pattern that has been presented. However, it is not always the case. Ore and boku can be used to refer to each of them respectively and collectively. However, for the sake of this example, let’s say it refers to John.

Me (John), the newborn-

Okay, we’ve gotten to the main offender in this sentence. Newborn. In English newborn is no longer contextually used to refer to a baby/infant or someone who was just born. Also, it never only referred to that to begin with and has not been colloquially used in this way for some time unless one is referring to someone they know very little about having a child. 

For example,

“Where’s Janice from accounting? I haven’t seen her in a good while.” “Oh, you didn’t hear? She had a newborn. So, she’s on maternity leave.”

Even then this is still rather formal and outdated. An interaction like this is more likely to go. 

“Where’s Janice from accounting? I haven’t seen her around in a while.” “Oh, you haven’t heard she just had a baby. She’s on maternity leave.”

Alright but they’re translating from Japanese to English and using baby or infant in the context of the sentence presented would be odd. Yeah, that’s right, it would be odd. That’s why in the beginning, I found it strange to even look into this line in this context as though it could in some way even tangentially be related to birth or children. 

If it would be odd to add the word baby in this context, chances are that this probably has nothing to do with them or birth in the conventional organic sense of the word. 

But born is in the word. 

Okay, let’s do what we did with Neoplasm. Because, clearly the internet only taught some people one meaning of these words. 

So, bear witness to this real quick-

Bear: To support or hold up.

Gif made by Star

Double: ““No, I need to do more…”, say what? You’re gonna break. Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.” 

This is rather self-explanatory. To say that one will take it all on is to state their intentions to take on the burdens, issues, or stressors of another person or of a specific event. For example to take blame and face punishment for a crime one did not commit in order to protect another.  Mikoto is also shown in Double using the bat for support.

Bear Down: Proceed forcefully toward.

Gif made by Star

While making the gifs Star pointed out that the word next to the three arrows pointing at the assailant here is "Savior" in sloppy English. This is emphasized by having "Save you" appear next to the figure as they continue to walk forward.  Showing that (whichever one of them this is) believes themselves to be their savior and that what we see them doing here isn't an attack or them hunting the other down but them going to save the other.  Adding more meaning behind these lines, "Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, that’d be good." - "Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, so why?"

Alright, all of that is very interesting Gunsli. However, bear is not the word that we’re here to discuss today. The word is “Newborn”. What possible bearing could this word have on that? That’s a good question. It just so happens that one of the root words of “Newborn” comes from bear. 

Since the word comes from both New and Born. 

New (Old English Niwian, Neowian)

Fourth Definition: Bring forth. 

MeMe

“Why?” 

““I” will save “me”.” 

“Switch, shake up that brain.”

“Why am I here?  It must be a mistake right? Take a good look at me until you find me.”

Double 

“I’ve got you, leave it to me!”

““He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?”

“Hey, I just wanted to save you, so why did it come to this? Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, so why. I don’t remember a thing, it couldn’t be helped, I’m DOUBLE (MeMe). I was having such a hard time, I was trying so hard.”

This is not self-explanatory. So, I’m going to take the time to explain what was going on in my mind when I decided to highlight these lyrics. I was interpreting bring forth in the context of switching. Mikoto is shown throughout MeMe to be looking for himself. Throughout the lyrics and the visuals. This is something reiterated through Double in a more chilling way. As it starts with what seems to be John being forced to the forefront due to Mikoto becoming too stressed. Something we see occur in Mikoto’s first and second voice dramas. 

John even making it clear from the beginning that he’s not out because he wants to be yelling,

“AaaAAAGH! Fuck… Fuck… STOP PISSING ME OFF!” While audibly stomping around and possibly messing up his hair the same way we see him do in Double. Basically, throwing a tantrum.

Couple this with his first cover song expressly stating that feeling ashamed which can cause stress and anxiety will open a role for an idiot to play (something we’ll go into after this) gives us a good understanding of what occurred in response to Mikoto's verdict. 

Something that if we didn’t catch onto John was more than happy to bluntly state to us in their second voice drama.

Neoplasm Voice Drama

“I (boku) might be trying to disappear.”

“Evidently, the time I (ore) have been fronting has been getting longer, so this “me” has been able to stabilize. Isn’t that the reason we can talk properly?”

The mental stress caused to Mikoto due to his previous verdict has led to him not being able to properly cope with the circumstances and drawing inward more as a result. Now fronting less and less as John (the one portrayed as being more used to stressful circumstances and better at holding things down) takes the forefront. 

MeMe

 “Hurting it, holding it down, it doesn’t change anything, does it?”

Double

““No, I need to do more…”, say what? You’re gonna break.”

Neoplasm Voice Drama

“Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress.”

"The fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress.”

Depending on which of them has memories of the crime this could be a good thing. 

"That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart."

This leads well into the next definition-

Ninth Definition: Substitute.

Double: “Leave it to me.”- “I’ll take it all on.”-”Relieved, aren’t you?”-“I’ll protect you (us).”

These are again things I find self-explanatory, but I’ll explain for the sake of clarity. These are all things one says when taking on another’s responsibilities or substituting for them. Usually someone is given a substitute when they cannot fulfill their duties for one reason or another. How John describes the current circumstances in Neoplasm makes it sound as though he is substituting for Mikoto because as he said in his second cd trailer,

“I can’t take it anymore…”

Monopoisoner: “As for who is acting strangely, look here, it’s already been decided that I’m the normal one, OK?”- “Do you have a preference for plundering? Because what’s being stolen away right now is your life. “How’s this? How’s this? What do you think?” Even though the outcome was understood from the start… The foolish you is already done for “nothing to see here, move on, pay no heed”.”- ““Please, bring to an end this world today” but that hole opens up a role for me to play. “Please, feel ashamed of this self from today” but that hole opens up a role for an idiot to play.”

gif made by @apatchworkstar

“You’re overdoing it, you’re already broken. But if you persist, I guess it’s my job to keep things on an even keel. Me, the other you, I’ll take it all on.”

In my opinion the Milgram staff could not make it clearer who the actual killer is at this point outside of the third trial just blatantly telling us if Mikoto gets as cocky as Mu did in response to his Innocent verdict. (Remember those underlined parts from the beginning of this post? Yeah, that comes in now.)

Literally each time he says the other you in this song Me comes before it.  Plus like Star established earlier the staff literally choose to shove (MeMe) in here when again it is not said to further highlight this more subtle aspect to oversea viewers. 

They basically made it so if you line up every time this phrase is said you just get-

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

“Me, the other you, I’ll take it all on.”

The title of the first trial song and they only put this phrase in twice within the lyrics to give this effect. Like this isn’t even a stretch at this point. They’ve gone above and beyond to highlight that Mikoto did that shit but we’re focusing on “newborn” right now. Moment of appreciation for the best translated lyrics of trial two. Like honestly the amount of information they had to shove directly into this man's lyrics due to his rather disjointed mv (that they still managed to get a lot of information in as well by the way) and still managed to get in is impressive. 

It’s actually jaw dropping when one takes the time to look into it.  

So, now that we have a bit of the history of the word “Newborn” how does it apply to this sentence,

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

Well given the etymology of Newborn we’ve learned a few things. One of them being that newborn is not only used to refer to recently born things but newly discovered concepts. Yet to reduce my own point a great deal we only need one source and one source only Merriam-Webster. Well, that and an understanding of English grammar.

Are you getting it yet? Well, if not here’s an English refresher in a form most Milgram fans should be used to music-

Now, I'm assuming you’ve watched both of those great videos. So, how is “newborn” being used here exactly?

“Me, the newborn other you, I’ll take it all on.”

That’s right baby, that word is being used in its adjective form not its noun form. Newborn is being used to describe the Me in this sentence the newborn other you. That is what the pronoun me is being described as in this sentence. So, what does that mean folks? Well, it means that Me in this context is not a newborn individual but instead a recently born or born anew construct or in this case self. Definitively showcasing that the newborn being referred to here cannot and never could in this sentence be defined as a newborn individual. At least that would not be the only meaning in its adjective state. 

There’s a difference between referring to a newborn and describing someone as a newborn. Be it oneself or another person. I know this is very confusing. I’m sorry and it doesn’t get any easier going into the Japanese. Something that even I am going to need help with and luckily can get help with. 

That’s later though all one needs to know for now is yes, the adjective state of the word may be used to refer to things that are not infants or newly born. Think of it like the word discovered. You know in the sense that Christopher Columbus “discovered” America. The word is kind of like that. Yeah, that’s the type of shit we’re getting into later. Yet, for now let’s keep things simple. 

A better way to explain this is by showing the synonyms and example sentences for the adjective state of this word,

Know who the adjective form of newborn perfectly describes out of the two? Could it be the tired, bags under the eyes, lethargic John or Mikoto Hypnos’ favorite human?

Man, is it “I’ve slept for twelve restful hours” Mikoto or John the one displayed as being soooo tired he passes out on public transport. Literally one of the most dangerous things a person can do.

I wonder who it could be…

If only we had a clue or a hint? (Or a bed for John.)

Ah well too bad. There’s nothing like that… I guess we’ll never solve this conundrum. It’s not as though newborn can be used to describe someone who has been reinvigorated or has come across a new sense of purpose or direction. It’d be incredibly awkward if that were the case. Because even ignoring everything else that would be a very nice and subtle way, still open enough to be interpreted a myriad of ways, for this series to highlight even further that Mikoto did that shit without blatantly saying he did. 

Luckily that English word only refers to organisms that have just been born and nothing else and no one will find any sources stating otherwise ever. So, it’s best to not look and we should all just do what Mikoto- I mean John said,

“Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down.”

Okay, but what about the Japanese lyrics?

“産声を上げたもうひとりの俺が、全部背負うか��”/ Ubugoe wo ageta mou hitori no ore ga, zenbu seou kara.

One rough interpretation of the phrase in english could be,

“Born again, I (ore) alone will take responsibility for everything.”

So, why use newborn instead of born again?

As we discussed before, no language is that easy to grasp. There are multiple ways for various translators to interpret this phrase. Not all of them will give the same exact perspective on a phrase and their translations are prone to be influenced by not only their own personal experiences but their relationship with the work being translated. For example I had DoctorBunny help me out when it came to getting a grasp of the Japanese in this instance. 

During the process he said this,

“Trust me this is a very newborn invoking line. It's a saying basically used synonymously with being born. A favourite of foetus musician Mao Sasagawa.”

However, the example he gave was musical. This isn’t problematic or anything but it’s kind of easy to form a rebuttal against it. Something I’ll illustrate now- while answering that question I posed earlier with this song.

Born again in the west has a very religious connotation and even though the word savior is used within Double the staff probably didn’t want to tie Mikoto’s character that heavily to religion. Because as Mikoto has stated repeatedly he views himself as his on “Savior” and-

Q.19 Do you believe god exists?

Mikoto: I don’t believe, no. I don’t feel so strongly that I’m gonna deny the possibility but- Like, what do I gain from believing?

Taking into consideration how synonymous with religion the term born again is and Mikoto’s characterization thus far, would it really be contextually appropriate for them to translate it in that way for a western audience?

Definitely not. 

Especially considering the timing of his second song's release. Ya know- Being right after the most religiously involved character in the franchise. Those are the type of things a staff has to take into consideration when translating information into other languages for vastly different cultures. Again, the consideration and care put into the translation of Double in particular, is apparent in every line, every word said or not that they added in order to make sure regardless of the language one spoke everyone was getting not only a unique but as accurate as possible experience. 

Personally, I believe that the effort put in in this instance should not only be respected but lauded. For now though let’s give the Japanese lyrics some much due attention. Because they are just as good. 

Believe it or not that idiomatic expression is what led to this entire post. When I saw this I couldn’t help but think of a phrase in English that is the exact opposite of the one highlighted. 

“This will never see the light of day.”

To see the light of day is a common phrase that on top of being another synonym for being born means,  To come to existence or be made known.

It’s a rather colloquial way of describing something becoming known or one's desire to let something be known. Like in the example I previously provided. This is what caused the idiomatic definition to catch my interest. 

So, what is an idiomatic expression, well it’s a colloquialism basically. 

Idiomatic means to use, denote, or contain expressions that would be natural to native speakers. Meaning that to first see the light of day is a common way of using this expression to native-speakers. 

Yet, the technical use of the word is still related to the first cry or children. 

As a native English speaker when I say, 

“Things I hope never see the light of day again.”  “Man, I hope someone sheds light on your actions one day.” 

I and other native English speakers know I am not hoping for someone to get a light and shine it on that person or their actions but instead I want what they’ve done to either be known or ignored. This song is a perfect example of the concept.

Now, what made this way of viewing the information even more interesting is how Mikoto’s second trial mv plays with light in general. Double does this through its day and night cycles. Unlike MeMe that takes place during the night only and displays Mikoto sleeping through the day in Double, we see John up during the day and taking a backseat at night.

As Mikoto is shown to literally be committing these attacks at night again through the dark lighting on his side of the train. The visuals go out of the way to show his side of the train remaining unlit while John’s has light during the very first attack.

Double quite literally doubles down on playing around with lighting as a visual storytelling method. Perfectly illustrating to us that there’s something Mikoto did that he never wants to let see the light of day. Yet, it does see the light of as you can see from above. What was once happening in the dark comes closer and closer to light until the two are basically overlapping. 

As though looking in a mirror

Light becomes dark then Dark becomes light and eventually inevitably the two overlap-

As we see them face each other at the climax. One facing the reality of what they’ve done while the other isn’t even capable of facing themselves fully let alone their role in this.

“I’m probably not to blame, it’s probably nothing. I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon. Why am I here?  It must be a mistake right? Take a good look at me. Until you find me- Why, hey why, I’m nowhere to be found.” - ““He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why? All I did was dream, so you find me INNOCENT, it’s that simple right? Come to know me as an honest man, eat your words, gulp them down.”

Then there’s these meanings for the phrase as well (which should seem pretty familiar after all this)

2. To be burdened with; to take responsibility for.

So, remember Bear? If not, here are some of the meanings for it applicable with this definition here. 

Bear: To carry. To endure without resistance. To support, hold up. Carry a burden.

3. To have (something) in the background; to be in front of something.

Bear: Bring; bring forth.

With this we’ve gone full circle. Yet, that’s not the only interesting thing about this meaning. Applying the third meaning to Mikoto’s characters specifically could make this sentence a very artistic way of describing fronting. As we discussed before with Bear. (Can't believe I've got to quote myself from earlier in this post right now.)

“I was interpreting bring forth in the context of switching. Mikoto is shown throughout MeMe to be looking for himself. Throughout the lyrics and the visuals. This is something reiterated through Double in a more chilling way. As it starts with what seems to be John being forced to the forefront due to Mikoto becoming too stressed. Something we see occur in Mikoto’s first and second voice dramas.” 

That’s it we’ve done it that’s everything that’s a full fucking language loop. So, hopefully from this we’ve all learned a bit more about not only Mikoto but language in general. My hope with this is that it gives people a newfound appreciation for not only linguistics but the tremendous effort the Milgram staff have put in over the course of trial two. Now, with all that out of the way. I can finally say (in my opinion)- 

This case is closed.

Also, John in Double be like-

second gif edited by Star

Well, that's all if you made it through all of this congrats. Hopefully you've learned some new interesting things.

[sadlittleratboy]

since you know more about Dabi than I do, I gotta ask,,,

does he ever like, actually act like a fuckboy in canon? Going around calling people 'doll' and whatnot? Being flirty??

I'm not a canon purist or anything, like take all the creative liberties you want with character traits in fanfiction it's whtvr man. But I'm generally so contused where it came trom since it's so, SO, many fics. I just cannot remember for the life of me if he actually acted like that anywhere in the story. Then again, Dabi's personality in general has always confused me.

No he hasn't, but people didn't just pull that out of their ass either.

Canon manga Dabi is bratty and complains a lot in a slightly tsundere manner, but when they made the anime they went a little harder. The anime made him much meaner, and you got the feeling that when he emotionally distanced himself it's because he actually meant it. His lines are delivered much harsher than they seemed in the manga, and with all the physical changes they made to him you basically have a mean six something hottie with a strong jaw who looks like he has a six pack long before his character actually got one (Dabi was teeny when he first appeared).

Basically you had the beginnings of a fuck boy, and the fic writers just finished it. He's mean, mouthy, and emotionally distant, so...that's a hot dom right there. I think it's a pretty fair jump, and it's totally ruined his fan content for me. I wanted the tiny brat.

The only time Dabi interacts with women in canon is mostly with Toga, where he calls her crazy a few times, and then sweetly burns down her childhood home and, again, acts like a tsundere about it. The other notable times are with the women in his family, Big Sis Magne, and when he ran from Mirko when she showed up during his fight with Endeavor and Hawks. I really can't think of anything else, so if there are other instances they aren't significant. This is true for both the anime and manga. He never brings up the idea of love or even attraction to anyone.

Dabi's personality is confusing, because first you have to work out which Dabi you're talking about, and in both instances Dabi constantly lies about his true feelings, hides hurt behind anger, and has conflicting feelings on certain topics. He's very human in a way I love, but it does make him difficult to characterize.

Slut Dabi is a popular head canon for both, though, and I think that's mostly because people are horny for daddy doms, pathetic wet cat boys, and stupid little gays. Dabi fits into at least one category, no matter which one you go with. Also the way his shirt is kind of basically a crop top and his constant tits out look. He's a victim of yassification and I am just as guilty.

[ineffable-opinions]

Top 10 BL Novels I Read In 2024

10. Love Supremacy Zone by 화차

Adapted into a manhwa Love Interest Zone, and live action in 2024 Love for Love's Sake which inspired me to watch it. When I started watching the series, I felt that something was off. That I was missing out on a great deal. So, I jumped right into the book. Novel was not only more detailed, the storytelling was so brilliant that it brought about overwhelming emotions – despair, relief, happiness, etc. Going in, I had lots of theories in my head about the identity of many characters including the author-sunbae. I had expected Cha YeoWoon to be the author and Tae MyungHa to be his junior (because of military service) since Tae MyungHa’s life before transmigration and the story of the stalking horse in the novel (which was turned into game) were so similar. Cha YeoWoon is one of the best younger gong (Korean for seme), I have come across in a while. While this one and I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student had older people occupying younger bodies, I liked the latter better. I felt that some of the game assigned tasks were not making much sense towards the end, especially those involving gathering followers on social networking sites. The game system seemed to be acting up as it pleased without much rhyme or reason, which I found difficult to stomach. Extras are really good in this one.

9. Deadlock volume 1 by Aida Saki

Aida Saki passed away this year. While there are other works by the same author that had left a deeper impression on me, this one stands out for being the most political among them all. From prison politics to hybrid identities, there is a lot that the uke deals with as a half-Japanese with a Hispanic upbringing who serving sentence for the murder of his buddy cop in the USA. Maybe the foreign setting offers Japanese authors like Aida-sensei more liberty when it comes to dealing with complex social, political and economic issues, within and outside the prison. Unfortunately, the seme wasn't very impressive - that's an Aida Saki thing, I guess.  Recommended for those who enjoyed Manner of Death, Spare Me Your Mercy and BL comics like Under Grand Hotelby Sadahiro Mika (manga) and Shutline by Kyou (manhwa).

8. Try Me เสพร้าย สัมผัสรัก (ChaiWin story) by MAME

gif by @boosnbugs

The moment Chai appeared in Love in the Air, I wanted to know his story and was super-excited to discover the novel when he was main character. Win fell for Chai in his early youth. Years later, he is yet to move on properly after being rejected by his mafioso cousin's righthand man. Chai is bound by duty. Win and Chai's lives keep colliding. Win returns to Thailand amid situations that force Chai to personally provide him with security. Meddlesome ex-lovers and uncle shenanigans to complete the clusterfuck the start of their romance is set to be. Recommended for those who liked TulHin from the novel Breath or from the series Love by Chance Season 2: A Chance to Love as well as the Taiwanese BL series Kiseki: Dear to Me. Even though I read Try Me (PakinGraph story) before this one, it can be read as a stand-alone.

7. I, A Gangster, Became a High School Student by 호롤

Adapted into a manhwa and a controversial bromance live action High School Return of a Gangster in 2024 which inspired me to read the novel.I was glad for it. The book is an absolute delight. It is pretty different from the live action. The transmigrator and his lover have to overcome many difficulties on the way. I had expected the original soul to take hold of the body the gangster was occupying at the end at least based on certain rumors on the internet. But that was not the case. Even though the body was that of a teenager, gangster was a middle-aged man, with all corresponding life experience and attitude. Author did a good job of maintaining that throughout. Certain parts of the novel, especially the face slapping parts, were very makjang. While I think it was dealt better in the novel than in the series, I wanted something different. While the su was a responsible older person in a teenager’s body, gong was the opposite for most parts. the interaction between gong’s father and su were really nice. I also found the bully’s relationship with original soul versus his relationship our su pretty sad, on both counts.

6. Why? ทำไมต้องร้าย...ทำไมต้องรัก (Part 1) by Yeonim

gif by @pharawee

The main couple in this one Nan (Day’s friend) and Mac (Day’s love rival). Nan is an excellent self-aware psychopath for whom Mac is an interesting plaything. There is a great deal of back and forth between them that keeps readers engaged throughout. Nan is kind of a yandere character, especially when it comes to those whom he wants to toy with. Mac is no saint but his cruelty is warped and oft amounts to nothing when faced with the different issues the couple has to face, marking how different his relationship is with what he wanted with Itt. Meanwhile, both of them dotes on each other. The time they spend in Nan’s house, especially the veranda with the little pond in front, is some of the best I have ever come across in a BL. The side CP in this one between Dew and Three, who were interested in Mac and Nan respectively and bond over that. They go from being comrades to lovers with some Nan’s non-consensual exhibitionism being the trigger. Link to Part 2.

Honorable mentions:

The Missing Piece by Kun Yi Wei Lou I love Kun Yi Wei Lou’s works in general, especially her older works with fantasy and historical setting. Among the novels with modern setting this one and Ex-boyfriend are my favorites. It has one of most exciting tropes – substitute lover! But then there are misunderstandings too. So, things aren’t exactly what they seem.

The university set BL Test Love and salaryman, yakuza BL OatShin Diary by MAME – I read it to read about Oat who is mentioned in Love Storm novel as the best racer and got his illegal racing parts replaced with Prapai in Love in the Air and with Kawai Fuma in Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan. I loved their story the best too. Test Love offers glimpse into Phayu’s campus life as a student of architecture and shows us where his reputation as a famous helpful senior comes from. Test Love also has Phayu’s twin brother and his girlfriend. Many characters from Love by Chance are friends with characters in Test Love and there is a cool seaside vacation get-together.

กูจะร้าย...ให้มึงรัก (GearNight story) by Yeonim I got into novel through the movie Love Syndrome: The Beginning that focuses heavily of the murky start to the characters relationship. The characters we encounter in Love Syndrome III have journeyed through lot of ups-and-downs and the novels are really engaging, especially for me as I love meriba endings a lot. They grow as a couple a lot between the immature couple they are in the novel and the awesome couple they are in later novels (where they appear). The side couple FourGus had a troubled start consisting of an early sexual debut that ultimately left Gus pining and Four repenting. It was one of those when-will-they relationships that stands out in the novel. There are so many couples in Yeonim’s universe, it is overwhelming. Thanks to @mygwenchan for this excellent list of Yeonim’s works.

5. Love Sand by MAME

I have been trying to get into Thai BL novels for a while now with varying degrees of luck. This one had me hooked. Khom, the main character in Love Sand, has been familiar to me through TharnType and Love Sea dropped so many little details of his relationship with Connor. While Khom was great, Connor was the most thought-provoking, to say the least. This work tackled different aspects of sex work - gratification and pecuniary reward, romance and emotional toll, racism, race as fetish, etc. I had previously commented on how certain characters MAME created reads like ethnography. This one takes it to areas that are difficult to talk about from one single dimension alone. Moothon (2019) did intersection right and that's why it is the banner of this BLog. Love Sand gave me a close enough experience. Recommended for audience interested in intersectionality with focus on a white Canadian with Thai-upbringing via doting step-mother of Thai origin, as well as those who love wife chasing crematorium, with significant value gap.

4. 服了生育刑的alpha by 星河蛋挞

An omegaverse story about a remorseless alpha arrested on charges of sexual assault choosing to undergo multiple births rather than spend long years in jail. Even though the novel was written in 2022, it deals with a lot of issues that’s in discussion currently, especially in the West, post-US elections and Gisèle Pelicot’s courageous legal battle in the Mazan rape case, such as reproductive rights, sexual crimes, sexism, righteousness, punishment, reformation along with issues such as sex work and law and order and justice system from cops to courts. The novel is available on patreon.

3. 虎三不哭 (Third Tiger, Don’t Cry) by 间歇性咆哮

This is the tale of a crybaby tiger and his haughty lover deer (all in their animal forms throughout but with human like thought process, motivations and emotions). They have to struggle through the different challenges that nature and nurture have placed in their path. Recommended for those who enjoy older danmei as well as those who enjoy animal characters or characteristics such as in Caged Again and Choco Milk Shake.

2. Mr. Zhang and Mr. Zhang 《张先生和张先生》 by 王泡小泡

I started reading this with plans to write a post on Love in the Big City. This novel has been adapted into live action Kinematics TheoryandThe Ambiguous Focus. This is about a couple who are about to celebrate the anniversary of having spent a decade together. They get caught up in the whirlwind of seven ten-years-itch and more that threatens to uproot not only their relationship with each other but also with those around them. Recommended for those who enjoyed Love in the Big City and its adaptations, and for the fans of Fei Tian Ye Xiang’s 北城天街 (Bei Cheng Tian Street).

1. Utsukushii Koto by Konohara Narise

A gynephilic man falls for a crossdressing salaryman from the same company but different department. While this is not the best work from Konohara Narise, I enjoyed it the most among all the BL novels I have read this year. Recommended for those who enjoyed Mood Indigo, Smells Like Green Spirit or Wait for Me at Udagawachou.

Top 20 BL Live-action of 2024

[ensemblesongs]

at this point i think it's rather unlikely that they'd kick ibuki from akatsuki, seeing as how they're already selling merch of the new akatsuki and such. i think a lot of people *are* asking specifically for ibuki to be removed from the unit, but do you think there's another approach we could take to try to reach a sort of compromise? like asking for specific parts of the writing to be fixed rather than undoing the whole thing? do you think they'd listen to us more that way? genuinely asking

It's definitely unlikely now, you're right. It was already too late the moment Happy Elements doubled down by posting the pre-recorded stream discussing his addition to AKATSUKI. After all, these sorts of things—cards and events themselves—are planned years in advance. Personally, I would scrap them all, but I know that isn't realistic. I just don't know how they thought it was a good idea whatsoever. But, you see, this is a flaw within Ansta itself that I've been aware of for a long time. To fix the core issue, we'd need a total reform, but that would be an insane amount of work and I'm not sure if they're willing to do that.

This ask reminds me of how they attempted to make amends in a way in regard to their somewhat unfavourable portrayal of the Amagi Village as cult-like and lesser-than (that often gets made even more egregious by ignorant fans via doujinshi and fanfiction that takes place there, which some argue to be alright—if you want to take creative liberties—as long as you aren't claiming it to be a depiction of Ainu people specifically. This is actually what HE sought by removing the traditional patterns from their assets like Live2D models and BGs, allowing even Ansta's writers themselves to pretend that it's a random, fictitious village rather than the very real indigenous group that they were actually based on down to their very designs, especially Rinne's, because being normal about the people your ancestors oppressed is too difficult, I suppose. Personally, I wouldn't do so.) by turning it into this Wakanda esque, sci-fi setting instead. Which was really stupid of them. I think they meant for it to be flattering somehow, for them to be more advanced than the majority... to get to be like, "see, they aren't cavemen after all!" In the end, most people don't like this decision or downright ignore it or tried to deny it and say Rinne was lying when that's... not how story-telling works even when it comes to unreliable narrators, and in some ways, it was detrimental when it comes to the uneducated person's perceptions of them.

Anyway, the entire event story or major chunks of it would have to be rewritten. Some AKATSUKI fans actually liked the first half, while others felt despair due to the mischaracterization I mentioned prior. Many fans have already lost all hope and quit altogether, but the remaining ones, and the protesting ones, deserve some form of acknowledgment or compensation. When it comes to the racist elements, Ansta is racist at its core, so there would have to be an overhaul of the entire plotline they had planned and partly executed for Ibuki and AKATSUKI already. From the start, it had unsavory undertones, but it could have been salvaged to the point of even being good if they hadn't done this or at least done it in a different way. Like I said, it is the reality for many Ryukyu, but I just don't trust them with a narrative like this, especially if they do not educate themselves, get sensitivity readers and receive input from real-life Ryukyuan people. Even the person writing Ibuki's solo isn't someone who can understand his struggles whatsoever. It's just some guy.

Not to mention, Ibuki seemed to be set up for this from conception, since even his name is a reference to the Meiji restoration, from a period that AKATSUKI's current direction has been referencing, as people have discovered recently. Ibuki also seems to tie into !! era's "Okinawa arc", which some have been keeping up with for a while. I think it started in Submarine, if I'm not mistaken. The Okinawa arc is littered with underlying anti-indigenous sentiments whether they meant for it to or not, ones that are hardly challenged by the cast (and, less importantly, also sort of muddied up the Shinkai cult lore. Some like it, others have mixed feelings).

!! era should have taken an entirely different direction From the Start if they didn't want this to happen, I fear. Because they couldn't do interpersonal drama with a few real-world effects (the suicides caused by the war) and a dilemma surrounding morality now that the scale of their world is larger, and it would have been repetitive regardless, they had to give characters like Eichi something bigger and eviler to do, such as his "idol colonization" affairs. A character who's meant to be a loveable albeit morally grey idol is campaigning for the destruction of the environment via the Atlantis project, silencing indigenous voices, etc... I love Eichi, and this isn't unrealistic of a continuation for his character. He's meant to parallel Godfather, after all. Nonetheless, it's painful to watch and more so to acknowledge when something like this is happening, which makes me wonder if it'll even be contested any further at this point.

Sorry for rambling about how flawed this era is at its core, I just think people should be aware of it... Back to the main topic, I think one possible alternative is that they could make Ibuki depart from AKATSUKI at some point down the line, not now, but sort of like graduating after having grown with his seniors, a dabufe-esque situation where he finally finds himself 💭 Ibuki was always meant to be kept off the path Esupuri is on, he would be solo, then.

To actually answer your question, I do think that they might listen to us if we ask that way. Even if it was an infinitely smaller change, just fixing up one line, they did that much after the revolt caused by the leoizu retcon during Sena's center event. I think a compromise could be good.

Semi-relatedly, I agree with the sentiments shared by our-ensemble:

[brandnewfridge]

re: the leaks, but honestly just the entirety of s2

Listen, I really liked the first season. Even though I think it had some pacing issues that could be solved by using that material for two seasons instead of craming everything into just the one, and despite the fact I found it sloppier than GoT in its prime and I disliked the way they were messing with the family trees. I have rewatched it multiple times. I have discussed it extensively with my father and my friends. I waited eagerly for s2.

And despite everything, I am feeling very disenchanted with the writing for this show. I feel like the problems it suffered last season have increased tenfold, and they added some new ones as well. I understand taking liberties from the source material, and in fact I think its part of the point of the show, since its a heavily biased history text with multiple unreliable sources, but I think there's a difference between that and whatever the hell it is that they're doing.

A good example of this, I think, presents itself very early in the season: Blood and Cheese.

I think having it come from Daemon and a "misunderstanding" is a good idea. Specially with the way it was treated after the fact: the conversation with Rhaenyra, how the other lords + Alys treat Daemon in the Riverlands, etc. It also makes sense that it would be portrayed in F&B the way that it was. However, how they adapted it pales in comparison with what actually happened in the book, which I think makes Halaena's character arc suffer in turn. I think this happened because they didn't show Maelor in the first season and they didn't want to add him in now? Even though I think he wouldnt be that difficult to introduce, and the audience would be able to accept his existence quickly, as Aegon's and Halaena's children weren't discussed that much in the first place. I'm not even sure they're mentioned by name in s1. And also, they're fine with giving a similar treatment to Daeron? Which I think it's strange, since the bulk of relevant characters in the conflict is mainly comprised of Viserys' children, and the complete absence, even in mention, even in passing, of one of them just to namedrop him in s2 is much more jarring than just, showing Jahaera playing with Maelor when Aegon comes in asking for Jahaerys. I don't know.

This is to say, it's not that I'm a book purist and dislike every single new thing they add. I like that the source material gives the adaptation room to breathe, and some of these new additions I do enjoy, at least in theory if not in practice. But they're making very strange changes, to characters, to plotlines, to family trees. The whole Rhaena/Nettles issue, for example.

A point that one of my friends has made is that oftentimes they treat the time that has passed between the airing of s1 and s2 as the time it has passed in-universe, which is very much decidedly not the same. There have been a very busy couple of weeks (as stated by Alicent in that one conversation with Larys in 02x04) in universe, and I think they're not giving the incredibly important things that have happened enough room to breathe per se. If it was time that they worried about, why shorten the season to eight episodes instead of the original ten the first season posessed? While simultaneously adding new plotlines or scenes like the Alicole affair, Daemon getting the Spirit Halloween experience at Harrenhall, or Rhaenyra going to KL to see Alicent, or Alicent frolicking in the woods. I have nothing against these things per se, I think they could add a lot to the story, the characters and their tragedy, but if I'm being honest I'd rather they used some of that runtime differently. It's like they want to stretch this show for as many seasons as they can but they also want to get to the next cool thing as soon as possible while the last one is still happening.

GoT started to shorten the number of episodes in s7.

GRRM has stated in his blog that he will not be attending the writers room for s3.

It's just a shame. Just a damn shame.

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 3: Horology 🕰️

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Horology (n.)

the science of measuring time

the art of making instruments for indicating time; clockmaking

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I assume real clock-making is rather time-consuming 😉 Making a clock-making-inspired mandala sure was!

...It took more time than I care to admit to come up with that joke. At least the art turned out nice? 😅 Bad puns aside: Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk more about my thoughts/process for this piece ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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I'm a little bit conflicted with this one, Sparklers. (But hey, at least I should be getting this one posted a little bit earlier! 🤷‍♀️ ) I am happy with how it came out, and I was pretty excited to see what I could do with the ideas of gears and metal that immediately sprang to mind for this word, however...The act of making said metal and gears ended up being a lot more trouble than I anticipated. 😅 Those emotions are so equally matched it's hard to separate them. The biggest hurdle was the fact that in order to look "right," I had to be more careful about getting curves looking circular-ish and uniform with each other. For full circles, that's generally not so bad. For semi-circles and arcs, it tends to be a big pain. 🙃

It also didn't help that I chose to make the outer ring of gear teeth a size that was really "too small" for Procreate's symmetry tool to help me out as much as I needed it too. So I also had to be more careful with those as I worked me way across what area the symmetry tool wouldn't fill in for me. The background was a bit more challenge than I expected, too. If anyone remembers how I mentioned yesterday I had decided some spot color "within" the mandala lines is okay but I still want to keep things loose: This one definitely pushed the boundaries on that. I tried leaving things more abstract, but I kept going back and re-defining certain color areas because it felt wrong otherwise.

I think that's a conflict between the general clockmaking concept and the abstract nature of how I'm approaching these prompts; Clockmaking, or at least the physical components needed to do it, is so very rigid and precise. Although, on the other hand, there's a kind of irony in that, isn't there? Since the way we humans measure time is something we made up—it's pretty arbitrary as far as nature is concerned.

...I seem to be wandering away from talking about the art and into higher concepts I am really not an expert in. 😅 Let me try to get this derailed train of thought back on track...

My point was that it felt like I needed more color, placed more carefully, to help with the definition between the different gear and cog pieces. This was not helped by how a lot of the images I kept seeing when I looked up clock/watch insides did usually have pieces that stood out because they were differently colored metal. Two related asides: 1. I apologize to anyone that does work with watch/clock components and may be getting a headache from my lack of proper vocabulary to describe said parts...Or the general lack of sense the "clock parts" I tried to draw here make compared to the actually insides of a time-telling machine. Many, many artistic liberties were taken! 2. I do actually kind of recommend looking up watch/clock insides sometime when you get a chance if you're not familiar with what that looks like; I found a lot of the pictures oddly soothing for reasons I don't fully understand. But even so—A lot of them are pretty even though I don't think they're trying to be. The screws on this one make me think of tiny gemstones! [I did consider adding some spots of color to background to mimic that jewel-like feel I just mentioned, but ultimately I didn't want to over-complicate the color palette.]

Anyway, going back to the lines/mandala portion for a moment: I knew going in that the fact I'm taking up the center for the word definitions would make a time/clock-themed one more difficult. After all, one of the primary things you think of with those concepts are the clock hands in the center of a clock face. Usually, even if you don't read analogue clocks that often that's still true!

For that reason, while I normally make the mandalas from the inside-out (aside from adjustments/tweaks that happen later), this time I started more on the outer edge. The clock hands hanging out there were still one of the very last things, but the gear teeth and general round "clock border" were the first and I more or less worked my way inward.

And at a certain point I realized so far I really just had a "gears" or industrial-themed mandala that showed no hints of being tied to clocks specifically. 😅 You can see from that, I ended up opting to put roman numerals in the 4 primary "clock" positions—12, 3, 6, 9. If I'd had room, I might have gone for the full set of 12, but by that time (ha-ha) I'd spent way too long making those four "gear spoke" semi-circle things that hang over right where most of the other numerals would go and I was not of a mind to either re-do or erase them. 😵‍💫 I then spent way too long trying to figure out how to "compensate" and fill the "clock face" just a little bit more because the big 4 numerals weren't quite enough for me. It's not very exciting but I landed on just some small lines—Tick marks, you might say. 😃 You may also notice that, true to something else I said yesterday, this is now the first example of one of the Obscutober mandalas in black rather than white. I did start out with it in white, but as I was moving into work on the background I thought the white was coming off a little too "soft" or too much like the mandala was glowing. Black felt like a better fit for the illusion of depth and the more "rigid" feel overall.

Although while I was in the process of changing the lines from white to black, I was very tempted to leave it in a half-state where some of the uppers layers were in black and the lower ones were still white. That got vetoed for consistency's sake, but it did cause me to go back and play with some of the contrast in the background a little more to kind of echo the idea.

I was also very tempted to try dark brown or sepia lines for this one, but, say it with me: I decided not to to keep things simple and consistent.

The final product doesn't necessarily look that much like what I originally had in mind...But to be fair, my original vision was pretty fuzzy. At least unlike yesterday, there isn't too much I feel like I'd change or do all that differently if I had to do it over.

I do hope I can say at least that much about tomorrow's piece—Tomorrow is shaping up to be a busy day in my offline life, so I'm a little bit concerned about how I'm going to fit Obscutober in...But that's a key point of the challenge, right? 😅

There's definitely a joke in here somewhere about "use your time wisely," but I can't quite put it together, so you Sparklers will have to think on it and let me know if you can figure one out. 😉 Until tomorrow, Sparklers... 🤗

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See the Prompt List

Artwork  © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

[screamintoad]

Lost Souls

Chapter Eleven

Ruins

  Thunder rolled over the horizon. Clouds became murky and dark, the beginning of a storm brewed. Wet droplets fell slow before getting heavier. Karissa held out her hand to feel the rain. “It’s raining.” She pointed out. Émeric gave her a weird look before replying, “The storm is only going to get worse.” Wynter’s eyebrows creased as he thought something over. “Wait, you can get sick.” He spoke up. “Yeah?” Karissa confirmed with confusion. It wasn’t storming too hard, for now. “Are you cold? We should take shelter before the weather gets worse.” He advised. Karissa’s face twisted to truly show her confusion, “Why? It’s still a few hours until sunset, isn’t it?” 

  “If your clothes get soaked you’ll get sick.”

  “But it’s just a little bit of-“

  “You look like you’d get sick.” Émeric interjected.

  “That was uncalled for!”

  “You’re not entering Arianrdom with a fever.”

  “Okay I get it.”

  They looked around for any semblance of shelter but the only thing in sight were ruins. “That’s…going to have to do.” Wynter mumbled.

  As they approached the ruins the air began to feel very still. Odd considering the storm. The trio examined the crumbling walls, the doorway with no door, and the plentiful of moss growing along the exterior. Some walls were higher and more intact than others. “What is this supposed to be?” Karissa wondered. “Uhm, an old checkpoint? Or a temple. I’m not precisely sure.” Wynter answered. 

  The canopy didn’t give much cover from the rain but it was enough for them to not be soaked. Émeric groaned with exasperation, “We are so close but something has to always come up.” Karissa held out her hand to feel the rain, “Well, sorry that I can’t control the weather!” She blurted. Émeric glared at her until Wynter elbowed him to stop. Wynter looked out at the plains in front of them, it was barren around the ruins but there was a vast forest surrounding the area. 

  In the tree line he swore he saw a large, dark silhouette. His gaze sharpened but he couldn’t see it anymore. Émeric looked in that direction as well but sighed. “Ru’an is a sinking ship.” He mumbled. “I suppose you didn’t feel that at the Academiya.” He directed it at Karissa. She shook her head, “In the Academiya there aren’t many ways to communicate with the outside. Only staff members get that liberty.” She sighed, “I don’t even know if my family wants me home or not. They dumped me off there when I was fourteen and ever since then my memories have been really hazy. Like…I remember the feel of rain but not actually feeling it. It’s difficult to explain.” She smiled as she tried to wave it off. “I think I understand.” Wynter began, “It’s like when Lariat first took me in. My memories were wiped but some sensations were still familiar.” He explained. Karissa didn’t know how to respond so she merely nodded but, he understood what she was trying to convey. The trio watched the rain for a few more minutes before the sky got even darker.

  The puddles on the ground became black, the rain dropped to the ground in loud plops. “Is that…?” Karissa’s eyes widened. “The poison. Crap.” Émeric grit his teeth. In a white blur, Wynter sprinted for the tree line. “This could mean the Life Weaver is close! Prepare to run!” He shouted back at them. Karissa noticed Émeric’s eye twitching, “Will he be okay?” She asked, her voice laced with concern. He shrugged, “Probably but, I should go after him just in case.” At that last word, Émeric took off in the same direction. Karissa was internally screaming at this point. “I’m the one who needs protecting but they BOTH leave me here?” She groaned, “If you want anything done you gotta do it yourself.” She started walking to where the horse was tied yet she froze when a hoarse voice spoke up.

  “Hello. I’ve heard a lot about you…Karissa Valentine.”

    A jagged white rock shot out of the ground. It grew taller than Émeric and successfully stopped him. He huffed and walked past it but was once again stopped, this time, by a raven. His eyes widened. The unusual part of this particular bird was its eyes. One was pure white and the other seemed to be made of the same rock that had jut out of the ground. On its back, was the spider insignia.

  Wynter was drenched from the rain yet he continued running. He stepped in a puddle and as he lifted his leg the substance stuck to his boot. He tried to shake it off but it was like the substance was pulling him down. A low growl echoed among the trees. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” He mumbled. Lumbering out of the dark came a large golem covered in the poison. “Now I really wish I was hallucinating.”

  “Who are you?” Was said amongst the storm.

  “My name is Vhaerys.” The hoarse voice evened out. The person leaned against one of the more stable walls. Their outfit was made up of various dark clothing. Their cloak held feathers on the shoulders. “I’m here to talk to you.” Their voice was calm. Unnervingly so. “Vhaerys? As in the late queen? Were you there this whole time?” Karissa voiced a series of questions. “Does it matter?” They wondered. Karissa’s face hardened, “I���suppose not. What is it you want to talk about?” “I’m afraid…I can’t elaborate much on it out here in the open. May I suggest we go somewhere more…” they held out their hand to her. “Private?”

  A few hundred yards away, Émeric stood in place in front of this raven. Materializing from it was deep, magenta colored mist. With a hiss, it formed the shape of someone that many only knew from paintings. The late princess, Themara. His eyes widened in shock. “…How?” He croaked out. Her smile was empty. “Come back.” Her singsong voice sounded brittle, as if she was holding back tears. “She’ll forgive you this time, too.” Images flashed through his mind of various memories from when he was human. Memories that most would call happy. Memories that he wishes to bury deep down into the depths of his soul, to drown and be forgotten. A prominent figure in them all being a tall woman with thin features. Her dark hair wrapped around her like ink, her steel gray eyes mirrored Émeric’s. “No!”

  Poison pooled around Wynter’s shoes. He stomped it out away from him but, it seemed to endlessly lurch towards him. His head shot in the direction that Émeric’s yell came from. “Return to the castle…and you’ll live.” The figures in the depths of the forest made themselves known as they stepped out into the open. Murky bodies burned the ground they stepped upon. These figures weren’t just bodies created from the poison. 

  No-

  The poison wrapped itself around corpses to reanimate them.

  Wynter’s face faltered for a second, it showed a glimpse of fear. “If this is happening then…the trap failed.” The corpses continued approaching him, “Come home.” They chanted. “Where is it now?” He demanded. The bodies grew eerie smiles as their mouths stretched in unnatural ways. He grit his teeth as he struggled to escape the poison but it felt as if he was trudging through oil. “Screw it.” He cursed under his breath as his sigils brightened. “Allow me.” A low angelic voice spoke out from the dark. Crow looked ahead to see piercing, pearlescent eyes gazing right at him. He blinked and they were gone. In their place was a small gold flame, the flame grew in intensity until all that could be felt was the blazing heat that emanated from it. Wynter braced his arms around him and covered his face. The smell of the burning corpses was beyond overwhelming but in a moment the poison was gone. As well as the fire. “May the odds of us meeting be in your favor.” That voice again. He turned around and all he felt was a harsh gust of wind.

  He sucked in a breath and turned on his heels. This entire situation could only mean one thing.

  The Life Weaver already caught up.

  The rain continued pounding as their exchange carried on. “No,no,no,no, NO. Last time someone stretched out their hand like that I got teleported to another plane of existence.” Karissa argued. She could feel the person’s face darken. “I see. I was thinking somewhere in this plane.” They sighed, “Do you have a preference? I can take you to the home you had before the Academiya.” Karissa’s eyes widened. “You can…what?” She cursed for letting her voice falter. She gasped as she thought back to what Wynter and Émeric had previously told her.

  ‘It bends all to its will, especially the rules of sacred magic.’

  “You’re…”

  “I’m someone interested in trading with you. Some other place. And I suppose…”

  Thunder shook the ground. The wall beside the person crashed to the ground in pieces as large deep red colored spikes struck the ground around them. 

  “Some other time.”

  Out of the rubble, Wynter jumped over the rest of the wall that stood. “Get on the horse, Karissa. Head towards the mountains and don’t stop until you see the pillars.” He pointed to the mountain range behind her. “The pillars?” Émeric vaulted over the stones next, one of his arms was covered by a gauntlet that seemed to be made out of blood. Karissa assumed that’s where the spikes came from. “We told you to run, so listen. This isn’t some mediocre threat. This is the Life Weaver.” Wynter threw her a harsh look and that was enough to get her legs to start working again. 

  “Why…must you make my mission so difficult?” The being wheezed as it writhed on the ground. Multiple spikes impaled it. “Shut up.” Émeric hissed. “Ah~” the voice carried through the air. Skeletal hands wrapped around the two’s arms to show off their sigils. “So those are the powers she gave you.” The Life Weaver mused. “How distasteful. Disobedience from corpses.” Émeric’s eye twitched at the term while Wynter bit his tongue. They watched the body continue prattling on. “I said I’d give you a chance, Émeric. And Wynter, so much potential.” The skeletal hands turned to the body as Wynter’s sigils illuminated yet a faint glow began to form on his back. “And I said shut up.” Émeric lunged at the body. “Then witness such potential.” Wynter manipulated the hands to hold down the body. The being’s mask cracked from the force of them.

  Karissa ran a hand along the horse’s muzzle, “‘Run’. Right. You can run right? Not sure if I can, though…” she winced as a sharp pain ran through her head. “Not again…” but this migraine wasn’t accompanied by whispers. She looked down and saw that even in her leather bag, the shard was still able to glow a bright yellow hue. Her chest grew tight and orange soul strings wrapped around her hands. Her chest also gained a bright orange glow. “Is the shard reacting to me, or am I reacting to the shard?” An image flashed in her mind of the others.

   Émeric slashed at the body while Wynter did his best to hold his own against monsters made from the poison.

  The sound as if a fire was put out left the body as it deflated to nothing but the clothes on it. “Enough.” A distorted voice emanated through the rain. Both Wynter and Émeric froze. “You really haven’t learned anything. I’m…disappointed though not surprised.” They looked behind them to see the entity did have a human-like body. Yet this body belonged to the late queen of Ru’an, Vhaerys Laurier. She was tall, her skin pale, and her once flowy brown hair was now dark and thin. But, this wasn’t her. It was a puppeteer taking advantage of her weakness once again.

  History does tend to repeat itself. 

  Sigils along her arms began glowing as skeletal hands appeared once again. “Your mother had plans for you, Émeric. Seeing you like this, a lowly errand boy making the same mistakes over and over again…It would break her heart, if she had one.” Émeric sneered, “Don’t bring her into thi-“ “Quiet.” Vhaerys ordered. She tapped the end of her cane against his forehead and his face went emotionless. “What did you do to him?” Wynter demanded. “Remember, the Life Weaver is the reason that ghouls exist at all.” In a swirl of shadows, she emerged behind Wynter. She tapped her cane against the back of his neck where his life rune is. A feeling of dizziness washed over him and he fell to the ground. Vhaerys sighed, “My patience is wearing thin. Now…I have a package to collect.” Just like before, she dissipated in a haze of darkness.

  Gaining his consciousness back, Wynter saw large claws reach for him out of the corner of his eyes.

[tropinano]

🇮🇪 Dia diabh! Seo é an pairt le scéal 'Lacadeasaí' as Gaeilge. Bhí ALÁN focail a háistriú mé, ach má tá aon botúin a fheiceal ceartaigh mé le do thoil! Níl gaelghóir liom ach ba mhaith liom a bheadh Gaeilge líofa. Bhí sé an-spraoiúil ach deacair. Slán go foill x.

Translation: Hi! Here's a part of @lackadaisycats translated into Irish. There was a LOT of words to translate, so if you see any mistakes please correct me! I'm not a Gaelghóir but I would like to be fluent in Irish. It was very fun but difficult. Cyas x

Notes:

'deireadh dorcha' literally translates to 'dark end'. I tried to keep most things literal but i did take some liberties. 'gafa' can mean stuck but also addicted, 'real musicians' is 'true musicians' here, poetic, i like it. I also took some liberties with Mitzi, as she says the dress is tiny, and says Zib would make a good Mata Hari. I also wanted to fit ruaille-buaille in there somehow, and i did >:]

Technically since there's no Z in Irish, I was considering translating Zib and Mitzi's names aswell. They would probably become 'Sib' and 'Mitsaigh' if I had to guess.

Bonus:

[password-door-lock]

Mystictober Day 13-- Leaves

“This is so exciting,” you gush, tearing the sticky label off of your brand-new rake. You take a moment to appreciate the sharpness and the straightness of the tines— they won't stay that way for long, if experience serves you. “Our first fall together! And we have our very own yard to rake!” It's a strange milestone, but as far as you're concerned, it's a milestone all the same.

Saeran grins at you, endeared. “I'm looking forward to it,”  he assures you. “Though it's going to be new for me.”

You shrug. “It's really not that difficult,” you announce, “At least, not from what I remember… I’m pretty rusty, too. I haven’t had to do this since high school.” You’ve been living in the middle of the city for a while, and though you’ve gotten very good at sweeping the balconies of various apartments, you haven’t had to seriously worry about leaves for quite some time now. “But I did learn to rake leaves in elementary school, so maybe it’s one of those skills that sticks with you, like riding a bike.”

“You were doing chores like this when you were that young?” Saeran asks, surveying the yard. It's not too bad— the big tree near the garden has just started to drop its first leaves, but you figure that if the two of you make a day of it, going out and collecting all the leaves every week or so, the task won't become too big.

“I mean, I was trying,” you shrug, “I wasn't very good at it, but I had a lot of fun raking them into little piles and jumping in— we could do that, too, if you want, but there might not be enough leaves yet, so we’d have to wait until the tree really gets going.” 

“That does sound like fun, darling,” Saeran admits, giving your hand a small squeeze before returning his attention to the yard. “How should we start?”

To be honest, with all of his gardening experience, you were surprised when Saeran first told you that he'd never raked leaves before, but the more you thought about it, the more sense it made— as Ray, he was allowed to tend the gardens at Magenta, but there were other believers officially assigned to the task, and the grounds there were so sprawling that Rika likely would have considered it counterintuitive to have him spend so much time away from his computer when someone with fewer responsibilities could easily have done it. Of course, even if you didn't understand, you wouldn't say anything about it to Saeran— your general philosophy is that he can tell you what he wants to when he wants to, and that can be that. It’s his decision what he wants to share with you or keep to himself about his time at Magenta, and you won’t press him for any more than that.

“Well, what I like to do is to rake one horizontal line— maybe up by the flower beds?— and then do vertical lines the length of the yard to finish it up. Then we'll have a long pile of leaves that we can just rake onto a tarp or into garbage bags to add to the compost heap— after we jump in them, of course.” You use hand gestures to aid your explanation, which would probably be a bit confusing without them.

Saeran nods; he seems to understand regardless of your erratic explanation style. “Of course, my love. Let's do that.” With the two of you working, it doesn't take too long to clear the yard of leaves at all. Perhaps your childhood memories of entire afternoons spent cleaning up leaves were slightly exaggerated in the depths of your mind—  or perhaps you've just grown a lot since then. Maybe it's the fact that you have help— regardless, you're happy that you can share this moment with Saeran. 

Once all the leaves are piled up, you take the liberty of flopping into them with a thud. “Okay, you know what, honey? That wasn’t as fun as I remember it being.” You’re laying on your back amid the leaf pile, which is really more of a leaf area— there aren’t quite enough leaves yet for a proper pile.

Saeran, who apparently has much more common sense than you do, lowers himself down into the leaves by your side at a much more controlled rate. Consequently, there is much less thudding involved. “I had fun,” he assures you, “Since I got to spend time with you.” 

“Spending time together is always nice,” you agree, staring up at the clouds. You don’t need Saeran to tell you that he’s also cloud gazing— you can just tell. “Even if we’re doing chores.” 

“Mhm,” he agrees. “No matter what we’re doing, I’m happy to be by your side.” 

You reach over to squeeze his hand, though your train of thought is quickly derailed by a passing cloud. “That one kind of looks like a mug, doesn’t it?” You point with your free hand. 

Saeran examines the cloud in question. “It’s more like an elephant,” he decides. 

“An elephant?” You can’t help but laugh. “No, there’s the cup part,” you trace the outline in the air, “And there’s the handle.” 

“That’s the trunk, my love,” Saeran argues good-naturedly, “It’s clearly an elephant.” 

“No, babe, it’s obviously a mug,” you retort, “It’s making me want hot chocolate.”

“Hm,” Saeran considers the cloud once more, “It still looks like an elephant, but I won’t complain about hot chocolate.” 

“We probably have to get up, then,” you groan, rising so that you’re propped up on your elbows. “Would you rather hold the tarp or rake the leaves onto it?” 

“I’m fine with either, darling,” he assures you, “I’ll be thinking about hot chocolate the whole time.” 

“Alright, whatever you say.” You grin. You’re probably going to be thinking about hot chocolate, too. 

[protags-fic-blog]

Can you write more headcanons about the amnesia boys? What do you think shin is like when he replaces the bass player in heroine’s band?

Actually, I've got a playlist coming out for this exact thing soon! It's a bit of a long post, but I hope you enjoy all the same :) (and there's a bit more than headcanons, which is why it took a while. thanks so much, this really made my day!)

———

Amnesia Memories - Joining the Band

Shin

after he gets in the band, it’s great

criticism of course, all the time, but you know it comes from a good place

improving for each other

practicing for fun? it’s more likely than you think

tried to teach you chords

you quickly got the hang of it… he even gave you the compliment of ‘not bad’! But… you forgot everything by the next time you practiced

Now… Because the rest of the boys don’t join the jamboree, I’m gonna take some creative liberties. However, they all appear on CD covers with instruments…

Toma

While we see him with an electric guitar of some sort in the covers, I think he’d be more likely to play acoustic guitar

Casual strumming. He lets you try your hand at it and ignores all the bad notes

Camp songs. For work outings you’ll beg him to bring the guitar

When he’s a little mad he’ll play his electric guitar

He sometimes plays as ambience when you’re both relaxing

Arms wrapped around his waist, head on his shoulder, and he’ll look back at you… or, you’ll sit in his lap, and he’ll play around you

Kent

In the CD cover, you can see him playing the drums. Good at percussion in general.

Find him mindlessly pulsing a tempo when he’s working

Lets you use his drums. You realize very quickly that these things are more difficult than they seem.

If you complain about not being good at percussion, he probably would buy you a tambourine or castanets

If you practice singing with him, he’ll be sure to keep you on beat

Ikki

Duets. So many duets omg. Yall are cringy.

If you’ve seen 10 Things I Hate About You… you know the scene where he sings ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’. That’s Ikki.

If you play any instrument, you might try and get him to play… you quickly realize why he chose singing. Basic piano, sure, but he can not play anything more complicated than that

karaoke nights are common dates. they’re private, so no one will bother, and they’re fun for the both of you

Ukyo

Backup vocalist moment

Lots of duets with this man too

But both of you prefer listening to the other sing alone

Humming a lullaby as the other is about to drift off to sleep

I feel like he would either be talented at a lot of instruments or none of them

Actually shy about singing!! The first time you caught him, he had headphones on and couldn’t hear you

———

And for a bit of a drabble (since you specifically requested Shin <3)

———

The first time you performed in front of him was an utter disaster. You tried to keep your cool, but it was no use. Anxious sweat seemed to leak from every pore, and his eyes didn’t drift from you the entire time, only making you wish to melt in to a puddle even more.

It wasn’t that you hadn’t performed in front of a crowd, but he was there, and for some stupid reason, that made all the difference. You wanted so badly to impress him, though you knew the best you would get was a ‘not bad’.

When your voice broke on the first measure of song, you knew you weren’t even getting that much. You came prepared for the worst, already on the brink of tears from embarrassment. You could hardly hear Shin’s feedback over the cacophony of voices, but the look on his face was enough to tell you he wasn’t exactly elated.

You knew he meant well, whatever it is that he said, but you weren’t prepared for criticism. So you ran off, knowing your best shot of privacy was in the bathroom.

You locked yourself in a stall and wailed the whole night. Even when the tears stopped flowing, and your head started throbbing, you stayed hidden.

When all the muffled noise outside died down, you heard Toma call from far away. “Are you in there? Come out so I can get you home!” he yelled, probably from the entryway.

“Go away!” you yelled back. You didn’t want to see either of them. Not in this state.

There wasn’t a reply, and you couldn’t hear any movement through the brick walls that divided you, but you knew they were gone.

It wasn’t till your less than fortunate bout of amnesia that you even considered singing in front of him again. And really, it was either that, or leave the band. Your friends pleaded, begged, prayed for you to stay. You, on the other hand, pleaded, begged, prayed for a bass player who was better than Shin to step up to the plate. Nobody did.

You knew it was selfish of you. It would be great to spend more time with Shin, but in this particular situation, it was a solid no from you. But you were outvoted, of course. There was no denying the talent and dedication.

You considered feigning strep throat, but it would be no use. You could guarantee that you would forget that you were supposed to be sick. Utter defeat. It left a bad taste in your mouth. You couldn’t tell him that.

Rehearsal. Your legs wouldn’t stop shaking, your heart would only beat faster. This was completely out of character, but feeling eyes on you the entire time certainly didn’t help. Every time you looked back, he seemed completely engrossed in his bass, but you knew he was looking at you! This was driving you insane. Everything was thrown off. You didn’t want to say it was because of him, but it kind of was. You just weren’t ready for it. No surprise that when rehearsal was over, you ran for the hills.

You heard him call for you, and your instinct was, unfortunately, to stop. It only took a moment for him to catch up to you either way. “I don’t want to talk about it,” you started, looking down at your feet as you continued to walk.

“Idiot, I didn’t even say anything,” he refuted.

You restrained from rolling your eyes. “It’s not like anyone can stop you from speaking your mind. It’s fine, I’m prepared,” you said, though you knew that was a blatant lie.

He gave you a brief smile, then he opened his mouth. You were sure it would ruin the moment, positive that you would humiliate yourself again, but no. “You’ve improved a lot since your first concert. The band’s gotten better too.”

You turned and pouted at him. “You’re just using this as an excuse to compliment yourself,” you said, poking his chest. He bent forward. “And if I am?”

You tried to give him a look, but you know his secret—everything Shin did for you was out of love. “Well, I admit, the bassist is not bad himself.”

“Really?” he asked, cocking a brow. When you nodded, he kissed you then and there, and you laughed against his lips. “Not fair, not fair!” you giggled.

When he pulled away, he didn’t apologize for surprising you, or cheating his way in to your heart. “Well, c’mon. There’s practicing to be done,” he said, looking back at you with a smile. And you couldn’t help but smile back.

[skeppsbrott]

THE WINDS CARRIED US :: a playlist about being John Egbert, OR: a playlist about being 27, OR: a playlist about being John Egbert at 27

Happy Birthday John! It’s been a while since we celebrated, you and I, but I hope you are doing well. I have thought about you, recently, so I made you this playlist. It’s not a lot, but I hope you’ll find it enjoyable.

Your friend, Skeppsbrott

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE : I Was Once A Loyal Lover  :: LCD SOUNDSYSTEM : All My Friends :: THE DAVE BRUBECK QUARTET : Take Five :: MODEST MOUSE : Ocean Breathes Salty :: THE ACADEMY IS... : Sleeping With Giants (Lifetime) :: LOU REED : Perfect Day :: ARCADE FIRE : My Body is a Cage :: TALKING HEADS : Road To Nowhere :: THE POGUES : Sally MacLeanne :: HELLOGOODBYE : The Magic Hour is Now :: PAUL SIMON : Graceland :: COLDPLAY : The Scientist :: PETER PAUL AND MARY : Where Have All The Flowers Gone :: NOIR DÉSIR : Le Vent Nous Portera :: THE KILLERS : Human :: ALEXI MURDOCH : Orange Sky

Cover art by me, 16 tracks, 1h 12min, [SPOTIFY LINK]

This playlist is uh, quite a specific mood, I think. There’s less of a genre throughline as much as a thematic one, looking towards a sort of quarter-life restlessness I myself have been dealing with, where I have began to know the deligths and devastations of being an adult and struggle with the knowledge that I do not have as much control over whether I have access to them as I imagined I would. Sometimes a problem simply cannot be solved, which is frustrating and difficult.

Le Vent Nous Portera is the title track, though I took the liberty to translate it, a very suggestive and beautiful song that I’ve known for a while and still find new depths in. A lot of these tracks are from bands that have stuck with me for a long, long time - The Academy Is... was one of my favourite bands as a teenager, a lesser-known labelmate to Paramore and Panic!, Modest Mouse’s Good News For People Who Love Bad News is still one of my favourite albums ever. Hellogoodbye were deeply formative for me at the time, though this track is from a much later project, veering more towards easy listening and an adult audience. John and I are both ‘96 babies, which means that Death Cab, Killers and Arcade Fire (not to mention Coldplay) all fit into that timespan. I wanted to combine this with more dad-music elements, as well as an unexpected turn here or there, for contrast and specificity.

Much enjoyment!

[random-musings2002]

I am going to share some personal stuff with y'all, and feel free to click away if it's not your cup of tea. I just needed to let it out somewhere.

A couple months ago, I got a job offer from one of the biggest companies in the country, and dare I say, the world. That too in times of recession, when I can see a lot of my friends literally struggling to get a job. The pay wasn't a lot, but it was good enough for an entry level position. Granted, the role wasn't exactly what I would have loved, but I was thinking of this as a temporary situation anyway. And starting off in a company like that, even having that on my resume was definitely going to be helpful for me in the future. Needless to say, I was pumped.

I was supposed to start with a six month internship after the New Year. But before I received my offer letter, something unexpected happened. No, it's not what you think, they did not let me down.

I received information from a third party, that I would need to shift across the country, to a city that has much higher living cost than where I currently live. Which poses a lot of issues.

A, it means I have to move away from my loved ones at a very short notice.

B, a cross-country move isn't even that small a deal.

C, I am still a full time student. While my university will probably cut me some slack, I will still have to attend certain events in person. Which will be difficult since one trip between the two places takes a day and a half.

D, I won't be able to sustain myself there with the amount I would get from the internship. Which means, I am going to have to look for a side job, or ask my family for help.

Yes, I had agreed to relocation when I had applied for the job. But the locations I had picked them weren't even presented to me in this. Also, I was expecting to have to do the internship in the branch of the company that is in my current city of residence, and then move once both my training and my college was done.

You might be wondering why I am saying all this. See, the thing is, this involves a major decision point for me. I can either suck up to it and go, which will involve figuring out a lot of the issues I listed, or maybe not even figuring out all of it. Or I can let go of something that is most certainly a lifetime opportunity and reevaluating my entire life plan.

I have always been against the rat-race. The hustle culture repulses me. I know that because of my background and situation, I don't completely have the liberty to do what I want to, and at some point, I would have to make some sacrifices. But I have always believed that to me, what is the most important is having internal peace. The money, the esteem, it all came afterwards.

I have been desperately looking for a sign for the past few days. Something that will tell me what it is I am supposed to do. I don't know why, but I have been having this very strong feeling that this is happening for a reason, that there is a lesson, a deeper meaning hidden somewhere in all of this.

Earlier today, it occurred to me, what if this is my test? My test to prove whether all that internal-peace-comes-first stuff is actually something I am ready to follow through?

I know that if I turn this offer down, especially in the current situation of the world, then a lot of people are gonna judge me. Even the ones close to me. And that will be hard for me, because I am sensitive to that kind of stuff. But if I actually believe in what I am doing, I will at least be at peace with my decision.