#it's upsetting and I don't know how to process it

[wisteria-lodge]

why is Dramione so popular and do you think it's problematic?

I. PROBLEMATIC SHIPS

(scroll down if you just want to read about Dramione)

First thing is, I don't think any ships are problematic.

There are lots of ships I don't *like.* There are ships that squick me, or mischaracterize one of the characters in a way that annoys me, or that I think are boring. But saying something is "problematic" implies that I have an issue with it's existence, and don't think that anyone should ship it ever. And that's just not ever going to be the case for me.

Like okay. I have a really strong dislike of any relationship where Character A is "saving" or "fixing" Character B. (In my head I call them Life Coach ships.) I think that's an unhealthy dynamic that breeds resentment and also doesn't work. You can support people, but in the end they gotta fix themselves. BUT. I'm ALSO aware that fixing/saving the bad boy is power fantasy, and power fantasies are fun, and cathartic, and important. Maybe it's nice to read about Lucius Malfoy or whoever responding to that sort of attention the way you wish your father or partner responded in real life. People are messy, and complicated.

To take an extreme example, I know that some people who've been raped stay away even from sex pollen and fake dating, and others actively seek out non-con, even romanticized non-con, as a way to process and deal. Basically, I think people tend to seek out media that is good for them (or at least comforting) and backspace out of media that actively hurts them. You probably have a second of disgust where you're like, ugh that's a thing? But you're not going to read a whole Snape/Hermione fic if the premise upsets you.

I bring up Snape/Hermione because teacher/student is a huge squick of mine. Doesn't matter if they're both adults, or if it's more of an apprentice thing. It's a scenario and a power dynamic that I do not like. BUT. I understand the appeal. The premise of a lot of Snamione fics is... okay, here's this powerful, intelligent, well-dressed guy who is extremely buttoned up and repressed, who doesn't give anyone the time of day. But there's something about YOU (not your prettier friends/classmates) that gets under his skin, and now he's obsessed, wrapped around your little finger. Oh and he's damaged, so he *needs* you. That's a power fantasy. And like, irl you're generally pretty powerless as a 17 year old girl, especially when interacting with men in positions of authority.

Also, like, historically? A lot of fantasies have operated under the heading of "I know it's wrong, but I still can't resist." The fact that something is wrong, is a societal taboo, well - that's a very easy, safe way to get an adrenaline rush, and up the intensity of the fantasy situation. Even the stuff people always bring up when they talk about problematic ships - underage, incest, slavery au but it's framed like it's hot, idk. They're forbidden societal taboos for really good reasons, but I don't think it's crazy to be interested in the big red button that says DO NOT PUSH.

Like how about this. In my experience, actors who play villains tend to be the sweetest, loveliest people you've ever met in your life. And I've always wondered if it's because they kind of have to unpack all the dark, sticky, destructive, perverse parts of themselves on a fairly regular basis (and then have a good outlet for those same feelings.) Everyone has parts of themselves that are not "nice" and not "proper." I think fiction is a fantastic place to air those out.

II. DRAMIONE

I am absolutely not surprised that Dramione is so popular. First, Hermione gets shipped with everyone - for a long time she was the character everyone projected on, and while that's less the case now... she's still the most important female character, and she's a *good* character. She's intense, and goes a little extreme with the problem solving. She's good at observing people but not great with people. She misses social cues. She's compensating like crazy. That's good (relatable!) stuff.

And Draco? He slots into the worldbuilding in an interesting way, he's got a *great* backstory, he's arch and a little bit of a shit, but he's also sensitive and squeamish about violence. I also think he taps into that "oh shit I was WRONG" feeling that is such an important part of adulthood. Hermione is also just going to be the walking embodiment of that feeling for Draco, so he's going to feel some kind of interesting way about her.

I think Draco is fun to ship with any of the Golden Trio, because they've all got that martyr streak and Draco is a survivor, so they clash in interesting ways and end up balancing each other out. Draco and Hermione especially are both very politically orientated people, so they're a good ship for exploring worldbuilding, wizard world reform, or pureblood politics. I also think Hermione has a feminine, girly side that she feels a little guilty about exploring - and spending five minutes around aesthetic, fashion-conscious Draco is going to give her permission to do that. They both have a streak of practical ruthlessness that I think they would respect in each other. Draco can be... a little lazy, so passionate driven people are good for him. But then I think he would be a nice control for Hermione's workaholic tendencies. Ultimately I think they're actually very compatible.

(also like. Hermione likes quidditch players. and if her crush on Lockhart is anything to go by... she also likes pretty blonde men who dress all snappy.)

[yanderes-galore]

Levi Ackerman romantic concept, please?

I'll try, sure! I just hope I got him accurate.

Yandere! Levi Ackerman Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Death/Murder, Isolation, Stalking, Paranoia, Fear of loss, Kidnapping, Dubious relationship.

I feel Levi is easy to misunderstand as a yandere.

He tends to hide his emotions so many may think he just doesn't care for others.

In reality, he's far from that.

Levi struggles to express care because of who he is.

He's known as humanity's strongest soldier, he's been forced to learn how to fight, and he feels responsible due to that reputation.

He's had people die under his command, he's used to losing those he's close with.

Which is why when he finds an obsession... It's a struggle for him.

Levi seems like he'd be more likely to be a protective yandere.

He looks like he'd be possessive and his actions can be read that way.

However, he mostly fears losing you than actually being upset over affection.

Not that he doesn't get jealous though.

Levi most likely meets you as a fellow Survey Corp member.

Which is another reason he hesitates on getting close to you.

In a way his yandere behavior is similar to Erwin, he doesn't want to be attached and often denies his obsession or feelings.

Except it's less about personal goals... and more about the fear of him sending you off to your death.

I understand I write a lot of AOT yanderes as 'protective', yet the environment they're in tends to push that.

Everyone here fears losing those they love, which makes them intense yanderes.

The thing with Levi is while he's protective... He seems like he either doesn't care about you or comes off as controlling and possessive.

Sure, maybe his actions stem from his want to keep you safe...

But that doesn't mean him isolating you is a good thing.

I imagine Levi's obsession starts as... indifferent.

At least, it seems like he is.

Levi wants to see you as just another soldier under his command.

He's aware expeditions have a high mortality rate when it comes to Titans.

Getting attached should not be an option, he even lost his own close group during the Female Titan situation.

He tries not to think much of you.

He oversees your training, he watches your ambition...

He hates how you're managing to make him warm up to you.

Levi would find his feelings towards you distressing and frustrating.

Even when you manage to prove yourself as a Scout, Levi still hesitates to get close to you.

Imagine Levi's your captain yet he's always harsh on you.

To him, distancing himself is the best way to avoid the pain of loss.

It's the reason he's so emotionless.

In reality, those that know him can see how he's truly feeling in his eyes.

You don't understand why he gives you extra cleaning or extra harsh training lessons.

Levi does it to test you... and uses it to distract himself from his feelings.

He does care about you, that's the annoying part to him.

If he's used to, he fears he'll get attached.

Considering the feelings he's processing... He fears he may already love you.

Levi likes to 'look out' for his obsession.

During camps or just at the main base of operations, Levi likes to know where you are.

He tells himself he's your captain, that's all he should be.

If he was anything else... He couldn't let you go out beyond the Walls anymore.

Levi tries to hold off his obsession for your own good.

Unfortunately... It doesn't work as planned.

Levi would rather you think he hates you than admit he loves you.

He feels that way you're safer.

I don't think he'd confess unless backed into a corner, honestly....

For example, if his obsession was being reckless and challenged him when he declines a mission...

He may just back you up when you ask 'why'...

Then he'll tell you that you've been driving him mad....

His sudden confession would take you off guard.

Levi would probably even be blunt with it, saying he essentially loves you before ordering you back to your quarters.

You make Levi lose his focus.

He can't stop thinking about how easy it would be to lose you.

It's dangerous.

I feel his obsession is even worse after he loses his squad.

He's lost people right before his eyes before.

He keeps worrying that will happen to you.

If you knew him enough, you could read the troubles look in his eyes.

If you didn't, it just seems like he's targeting you.

He wouldn't kidnap you, but he would hold you back on missions.

You may protest, but Levi never listens.

He's your captain, you're meant to follow his orders.

He doesn't like to confront his feelings as that would mean admitting he loves you... and admitting he could lose you.

Levi grew up mostly alone.

Him loving someone romantically never came to mind until now.

He knows he shouldn't, but nothing he does will suffocate his feelings.

Levi shows irritation to most other people, yet even more so when they're around you.

It's hard to tell the reason for it sometimes.

It could be jealousy, which would explain why he's so tense when you're smiling and laughing with others.

It could also be him getting anxious about others when you're training or on missions.

Even if you're careful... others around you could easily get you killed.

Titan Shifters give him even more of a headache.

In terms of if he'd kill for you, it's complicated.

He's usually very controlled so I don't expect him to randomly kill another Scout or anything like that.

If he really didn't enjoy someone around you, he'd intimidate them or give them extra work to do.

What he kills are true threats.

That's Titans, or by the time of Season 3, other humans if they could harm you.

He doesn't care if you're unnerved by the sight of blood on him.

His blades are usually always covered in the stuff, he just bluntly reassures you what he did was the right thing.

Titan or not.

Levi is isolating with you, often monitoring you and intimidating those around you.

You can call him out on this, he'll deflect it.

You could even accuse him of being jealous and he'd deny it.

However, if you said he's being overprotective, he'd quickly shut you down.

Of course he's protective.

You've managed to break down his damn wall... which means you're stuck with him.

He isn't going to lose you like so many others, he'd die before then.

Levi will be manipulative if it means you'll stay beside him.

He'll order you to listen to him then say he knows what he's doing.

Even if it's him preventing who you talk to.

Levi probably hesitates to start formally dating his obsession.

You may become more of a target... yet at the same time.

He likes the idea of you being his.

If Levi manages to get you in a relationship with him, he wants you in his sight at all times.

He hates to admit he's paranoid but... He is.

Levi can sometimes be affectionate, pulling you close and occasionally kissing you on the lips, neck, or cheek....

It's not often, but he does find joy in giving you affection.

He doesn't need to kidnap you to make you his.

He just needs to isolate you and manipulate you.

He's quiet when you fight with him, when you beg him to let you go on missions.

Sometimes he does consider locking you in a room to keep you safe.

It would ruin your freedom, but Levi doubts anyone is really free.

Call him possessive, petty, selfish, controlling, overprotective, whatever you wish...

To Levi, what he's doing is right.

Even if it means locking you away for his eyes only.

You need to be off missions, yet also in his arms.

He'd keep you somewhere safe, perhaps underground.

He'd make sure you're comfortable, he'd take care of you....

You'll just need him, only him.

Then he'd never have to give you up.

He hates admitting it, but he can't lose anyone else.

When you fight, he calls you a brat and ignores your questions.

All you need to know is two things...

You're his... and he plans to keep you safe as your captain.

His orders are final, even for his beloved.

[savage-sinister]

have yall ever checked the comment someone leaves on a bookmark of your work? Not a comment on your fic, but a bookmark where theyve left a note. i think its worth looking, ive seen people say really sweet (and humorous) things in the bookmarks without ever leaving a comment.

Hey pal. <3 First of all, thank you. I can tell you're trying to cheer me up because you think I might be upset about the response/lack of response to my fanfics, and I appreciate it. You're a swell, warm-hearted person and I appreciate you.

Before I answer your question, I'm going to clarify something.

I know it probably looks from all the posting I've been doing that I'm maybe upset that my fanfictions don't get enough kudos. That's not actually the case.

First of all, I only post fic on AO3 at all becasue it's a convenient way to archive the writing my partner and I do. We have about 2 million words of Danganronpa and other fandom fanfiction that pre-date us posting on AO3. We started posting because Skype ate an entire longfic on us.

Second of all, given that I post fic mostly for wildly unpopular pairings in niche fandoms, my fic actually gets a lot of kudos and comments! My audience is great, and I'm so grateful for all of them. I have some repeat commenters that I love to chat with, and I love seeing the same names in the kudos list for fanfics in the same series! (I have about 15k kudos on about 1.5 million words of fic).

This isn't about my kudos, or my satisfaction.

This is about how I started a positivity post to make people feel better about "kudos ratios" and in the process I accidentally found out that a lot of people don't actually even bother to kudos fic they like. They just read it, enjoy it, and move on without ever telling the author about it. And that sucks!

And I've gotten more and more passionate about it as more and more people tell me to "shut up because authors are not entitled to praise." Uh, no, obviously, but if something gave you joy you can take one literal second to click a button and let the author know that happened.

So I'm not upset on my own behalf, and you don't have to worry about cheering me up.

That said, anon. I'm really sorry to tell you this.

My AO3 fics have a total of 2,588 bookmarks as for right now.

Exactly six of those bookmarks have comments of any kind. One of them is really mean 😂😂😂😂

That said it was nice reading the nice comments that were there.

Thank you again anon and have a great day <3

[emometalhead]

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[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[lunarharp]

"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.

[seeinganewlight]

you deserve to be happy. remember to fight for that

[triglycercule]

guys i swear i'm not slacking off i actually have so many ideas,,,,,, SO many ideas none of you even know....... i'm just preoccupied trying to prove myself a real mtt fan by (FINALLY) doing my in depth analysis of the one i Hate.........

once i complete this peak will return... after all there cannot be trio without all three 😁😁😁

[catboydan]

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[saintcarrionn]

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[moe-broey]

Man do you think I should just start shit. Do you think I should just finally put my foot down. If you don't respect me, you don't get to say you love me. Ect

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

I love this scene because even after everything, the first thing Naesala does when he gets into the room is react in panic about Reyson and Leanne being unconscious. In that short moment, he just reacted on the instinct that he's always cared about them, despite how shaky things had gotten with Reyson a few years ago and how he was forced to do the things he did (including with the Laguz Alliance in RD).

If he was thinking logically and had a moment to process the situation, he might've stood back and pretended to care less than he actually did, as is usual for him. In this case he didn't hesitate to react and ran to them as soon as he walked in, because it was a knee jerk reaction.

If he sat back and thought about it, he would've known Tibarn was going to start making threats and trying to pick a fight, but his genuine desires overcame logic for just a second long enough for him fear for Reyson and Leanne. As long as the two of them are alive and well, he can continue putting on that mask and faking his way through it. If there's any chance they're in life threatening danger, he'll change course to make sure they're safe (such as refusing to fight Reyson when he was in service to the Crimean army, even at his own expense).

Since Naesala wasn't aware how badly the herons were being affected by the medallion, he wasn't aware in advance that they were in any danger. He doesn't know what happened here, so he walks in and suddenly sees them unconscious on the floor. For all he knew, it could've been life threatening - hence his instant response that didn't wait for his brain to register that he's supposed to be playing the bad guy. I think the only reason he could calm down and conclude it wasn't is because nobody else was panicking/grieving with the implication of a possible death.

(And fwiw, yes, he did have to technically sell Reyson to Oliver in PoR. If he didn't abide by something the senate wanted, Oliver could just make up some story to Lekain to get him to trigger the Blood Pact. Naesala knew he was being a snake to get the whole thing to happen, but he did technically have to go through with it the moment anyone from the senate wanted something from him)

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

Can't sleep brain too full of death

[magnusmodig]

rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !

╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?

||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.

So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)

Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)

The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.

[forcedhesitation]

I'm actually still pretty disappointed about the changes that were made to implicate a canon relationship between gortash and the dark urge. you are given so much choice in this game! so it feels shitty that they took away your choice to interpret that dynamic how you'd like.

I had a dark urge campaign that I started and no longer will finish because I don't want that to sully my character's romance with wyll. it angers me enough how wyll is given barely any material for not just his story, but also his romance. like it's so unfair that rather than new material added to wyll's romance, all I was going to get was lines about how my character had a relationship with a fucking fascist. load of shit that is.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

so i went to target with my mom today, and she said that this was her first time coming to target since all the ruckus. i stupidly assumed something happened in the area or like more store construction. but nah she meant the homophobic stuff she said that apparently target partnered with a gay satanist that's trying to force children into being gay??? by making shirts for three year olds that say "i'm queer" on them? (didn't see any pride merch for small children when i looked, btw).

anyways. it just made me realize that. my homophobic mom always brings kids into her stuff. she's not outwardly homophobic, but she's like "kids don't need to be exposed to sex at three years old" and i'm like??? that's literally not what queerness or pride is??? like genuinely i think some of the big homophobic propaganda out there is making it seem like we're trying to force kids to be gay. and that really freaking ticks me off. because any time i have discussions about sexuality with my mom (she does Not know i'm bi & dating a girl-gender neutral), she brings up stuff she's seen on instagram (my God she needs to get off she is being FED propaganda) where conservatives come out here saying that people are forcing homosexuality upon children. and yeah i'm sure some people are, but you never hear stories about parents beating their kids for being straight. or beating their kids for being cis. or kicking them out of the house or family. and it's just so sickening that this is the crap she's being fed. so now it's "gay people are a cult trying to force children into being gay" and that's. UGH. that's not it.

anyways it was kind of just disheartening to come to the realization that the common thread behind her arguments are always about how kids are being impacted by gay people (derogatory). she always backs up with stuff like "well i don't think man and woman relationships should be in children's media either" yet here we are. you can't just ignore the fact that relationships are everywhere. does the kid in a show have parents? well that's a relationship! that's not indoctrinating kids! oh but it is the second it's a gay relationship Got it. it just makes no sense. GOSH.