#it's the worst movie adaptation ever
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Ella Enchanted (2004) Sucks #2: A reminder that Prince Char was whitewashed
Char's description in the book:
He looked just like his father too, although the sharp angles of King Jerrold's face were softened in his son. They each had tawny curls and swarthy skin. I had never been near enough to the king to know whether he also had a sprinkling of freckles across his nose, surprising on such a dark face.
Just imagine for a moment what it would have meant to get a book-accurate Char for a second. I'm talking how he looks AND how he acts, because the movie screw that up, too.
Sweet, kind, considerate, dutiful Char who is Ella's friend-turned-lover being played by a person of color in 2004. The description is vague enough that there's no specific race (by some close reading, my guess that the closest to matching this description would be a mixed-race black man, although as a kid I'd pictured him Latino just because that's the community I grew up around). But just imagine how beautiful that could have been, what kind of impact it could have had.
Instead we got the douchebag idiot whitewashed Char that's a copy and paste male love interest from 75% of romcoms. I hate it so much.
#ella enchanted#char#prince char#ella enchanted 2004#ella enchanted remake campaign#gail carson levine#let's crowdfund this thing#it's the worst movie adaptation ever#ella enchanted 2004 sucks#my ella posts get no notes but idc i need a place to vent
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If Harry Potter and Twilight and Percy Jackson are all getting seasons and seasons of TV series someone can throw funding at one movie to give us the real Ella Enchanted--where ogres EAT PEOPLE and that's bad, Ella's best friend and confidante is a wise, smart middle-aged-looking fairy not some weird creepo elf man, Ella wins Char over with her humor rather than being Not Like Other Girls, Char is sweet and kind and involved in ruling his kingdom rather than an actual idiot, and THEY TREAT THE CURSE LIKE THE SERIOUS THREAT IT IS TO HER INSTEAD OF A JOKE.
What I desperately need is a proper movie adaptation of Ella Enchanted. With banister sliding friendship and Ella refusing to marry Char when ordered because she knows her curse could be used against him
The 2004 movie can go die in the pits of hell
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Okay the big one: IC characters reacting too...The Eragon movie
This honestly needs a whole structured little react book to answer fairly. That’s why it took me so long to figure out how to answer this. But, until I get to writing that properly, here’s a little rundown 😂
ERAGON wants to know why he’s blonde
ARYA wants to know why she’s blonde/ginger and wants explanations for literally everything else also
RORAN is angry because “this isn’t how this happened at all!” referring to joining the army and the conscription scenes. Eragon agrees.
ANGELA is obscenely amused and munching on popcorn.
MURTAGH doesn’t hate his character portrayal ENTIRELY, but wants to know why the FUCK the scar is on the side of his stomach and basically just a little paper cut of a sword wound compared to what actually happened. He also wants to know why it has two curves and why he was put in a cage.
NASUADA wants to know what’s going on with the strange ceremonial headgear in one of the scenes
AJIHAD find his portrayal accpetable
ORIK wants know where the actual f**k he and Hrothgar are
The TWINS are only in the special edition I believe and are very unhappy about it
SAPHIRA wants to know why she has feathers and why she grew in a half second and why her scales are not shiny. She will half-accept her personality in the film, though she thinks they could have captured her much better.
ORRIN is just here for the drama.
#the inheritance cycle#the Eragon movie#Eragon#arya#orik#murtagh#ajihad#nasuada#orrin#angela#character reacts#badly represented characters and bad adaptions#I cannot fully hate the movie though because even though it’s the worst adaption of a series I’ve ever seen#It’s the reason I read the books in the first place
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There have been approximately one billion stage, film, and TV adaptations of THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO, and most of them (save for the 1998 French TV miniseries*) fail in exactly the same ways for most of the same reasons. The new 2024 iteration, by Matthieu Delaporte and Alexandre de la Patellière, is no different, and about the only thing it has going for it is that it isn't AS actively offensive as their ghastly THREE MUSKETEERS adaptation last year.
(* The 1998 French TV version fails instead because it stars Gérard Depardieu, who was and remains a massive creep.)
I love the book, although I haven't read it often because it's a project — well over a thousand pages, full of what appear to be tangents and aren't — but nearly all the adaptations try to boil it down to a simple-minded, contrived drama about wrongful imprisonment and lost love, discarding most of the novel's sprawling melodrama and changing its narrative center of gravity, and by the end I always wonder why they bothered.
MUSKETEERS benefits most when screenwriters keep their grubby little fingers off the plot beyond whatever condensation is needed to fit the running time. To make MONTE CRISTO work as even a 2½-hour movie, I think it might need a more dramatic restructuring of the story.
#hateration holleration#movies#alexandre dumas#le comte de monte cristo#the count of monte cristo#matthieu delaporte#alexandre de la patellière#their 2023 three musketeers adaptation might be the worst ever#with the arguable exception of tossed-off sanitized cartoon versions
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i never told you this but i actually watched the warriors (movie) and while the concept album is incredible, the movie literally sucks lmao
#like... no offence lin honey but why would you even want to adapt such a shitty movie#what was the reason behind this#there is not a single character in the movie that i like all of them literally suck#no one is even interesting#well maybe except cyrus but we all know what happened to cyrus#and luther this little crazy motherfucker but that's only because he makes me laugh#mercy wasn't actually that bad but compared to the musical mercy she's literally nothing#ajax is my favourite warrior but movie ajax is a fucking asshole and a rapist??? wtf?#fox didn't even have personality and they just killed him off so early lmao no one even asked about him which is hilarious#also what was the reason for them to take mercy with them like it doesn't make any sense to me#in the musical she wanted to be a warrior too so she just decided to follow them but in the movie...?#she didn't have to go with them like? what??#what the fuck was that?#this movie is so bad it's actually hilarious#and i only had fun because i found out they took a lot of quotes from the movie and used them in the songs and that's fucking awesome#but that's it#like#that was the worst thing i've ever watched in my entire life and i fucking love the musical#i love that lin and eisa gave them all personalities and made them interesting and likeable#and the whole gender swipe thing works very well here so yeah#yes i am a hater mind your own business#warriors#lmm#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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Uh oh guess who watched the Goldfinch again and was immediately sucked back into the void
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
#it’s always been my favorite#I was a fan *before* the movie thank you very much#but I adore the movie it’s so bad#worst adaptation ever#I love it#the goldfinch#donna tartt#theo decker#boris pavlikovsky#theo x boris#boreo#popchyk
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its always incessant funny when media stans see a fandom critiquing the horrid racist, transphobic shit in a media or its creator and they react to this by making a blog "dedicated to celebrating x media or character" and then the entire blog is literally....... nothing but them complaining about people who critique their favorite media.
It was excruciatingly funny to see the one stan realize, in real time, exactly what they were doing when I pointed this out to them lol.
Like, do you really love that media, or do you just hate people who see the flaws in it and aren't afraid to talk about it?
If you have to make an entire sideblog dedicated to hating on people pointing out the bigotry in your media or media creator instead of actually celebrating what you genuinely like about that media..... what, exactly, are you doing?
You might wanna take a step back and actually see if what you're doing is actually something worthwhile.
Is your "[media]enjoyer" sideblog going to actually talk about what you personally find enjoyable in the film and celebrate the fandom, or are you just going to lie about and complain about people in the fandom talking about the creator's racism and transphobia?
#flatland#flatlandenjoyer#lmaoooooo#if I had two nickles...#these people really don't even actually enjoy the things they claim they do they just get mad when other people don't worship them#or more specifically these people refuse to engage with the actual source material and would rather#worship and shitpost about THE worst adaption known to man that they insist is full of interesting deep political themes#then refuse to ever actually say what those themes are or what they actually like about the movie#other than the fact its absurdist humor#here's a theme for you about the 2007 flatland movie:#it fearmongering in the background about vauge enemies in the East or whatever#is literally just an example of Ladd Ehlingers xenophobia and militant racism at work!#He views all enemies as having to come from somewhere Outside and Different to himself#the government of flatland might be bad but GET A LOAD OF THOSE SCARY FOREIGNERS AM I RIGHT?#Ladd Ehlinger couldn't talk about the politics in the book because to do so would be to attack his own views#so to him they don't exist and women's biggest enemies is themselves instead of the patriarchy
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People insulting fanfictions is even more aggravating when movie adaptations can be thousand time worse than the most OOC fic, like THEY never saw canon (it looks they don't even get a summary of canon, but just had a list of the characters' names) and yet they are paid and (worst) praised for it.
I believe there's a special place in hell for those who pretend to adapt a book, betraying its spirit, its themes and its characters (everything, in fact, except the characters' names).
#this is about the 2024 count of monte cristo movie#which is the worst adaptation of this book ever#but i know it's a relatable feeling#movie adaptation#film adaptation#book#fanfiction#the count of monte cristo#le comte de monte cristo
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I will never forgive Dracula (1979) for what they did to Mina.
#dracula daily#dracula#dracula 1979#re: dracula#look at how they massacred my girl!#the most blatant case of character bastardization i've ever seen!#book fans go off all the time on how the 1931 movie made her into a one-note damsel in distress#or how 1992 had her fall in love with the villain#but at least those versions had SOME likeable qualities#1979 mina said she hated jonathan to his face!!#the real mina would never!!!#i get irrationally angry everytime i think about this movie#worst dracula adaptation by far#dracula adaptations
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For those of you who are like me and are sad that Dracula Daily has concluded for the year and are looking for more Dracula to fill the void: I present to you Dracula: the original living vampire
This adaptation of the classic we have come to know and love is probably the WORST I’ve ever seen! It’s so bad that I thought about turning it off multiple times but was so bad that I needed to know what happened.
So first things first. This takes place 100 years after the original story and by original story, I mean the one they made up for this. So a rich nobleman’s wife dies on the day of their wedding and he goes on a killing spree of all the women in the town that looks like her (redheads)
Now 100 years later the killings have started again and it’s up to Detective Amelia Van Helsing (yup Van Helsing is a woman and a detective in this) to solve the case.
So here’s the cast
Amelia Van Helsing - Detective/skeptic/redhead
Renfield - police captain/Amelia’s boss
Jonathan Harker - chemist/occultist
John Seward - police mortician/lab assistant
Mina Murray - solicitor/Amelia’s girlfriend
Dracula - British nobleman/secret vampire
So there is no timeline in this and the visual clues are all over the place.
It takes place in a gothic style town and everything is grey or black or brown.
All the women are wearing mid calf skirts but modern jewelry (Mina spends most of the movie in a see through nightgown with a big modern watch on her wrist)
They have telephones and lamps but also rely on candles and lanterns a lot
No one blinks an eye at a lady detective or the fact that the two women are living openly gay so it’s pretty progressive
They are able to run blood testing and can separate different things from blood samples
All the photos are sepia toned and look like long exposure from when cameras were invented
The only sign we see outside is in French despite everyone speaking with terrible British accent’s including Dracula
Also they live in the shadow of a gothic castle which turns out to be Dracula’s
So while Amelia is investigating the murders of all these redheads and worrying that she’s next, Mina is Dracula’s solicitor and is showing him houses around the area. It turns out that she is also a secret redhead who dyes her hair blonde because she used to get teased. So she gets targeted instead of Amelia and turns out to be the exact double of Dracula’s wife who died.
After Mina gets taken, Amelia and Jonathan go to the hotel where Dracula is staying: Hotel Carmilla. And they walk into a room to find that Dracula has turned a bunch of redheads into vampires and they are just in this room draining guys of blood and the only sound is really loud slurping. Oh man, it was so loud and ridiculous and amazing.
They kill all the vampire brides and all the guys they were draining who may have also been vampires…. It’s unclear.
Amelia gets bit by Dracula but doesn’t consume any of his blood.
Mina does the whole “if you let her go I will stay with you by choice” monologue and then stabs Dracula in the heart and her and Amelia tackle him and knock him into a sun beam. It’s nice to finally see Mina get a bit of agency
It ends with Amelia safe at home and turning into a vampire with absolutely no emotion
All in all a terrible and hilarious movie. I don’t know if I recommend it but I needed to share it with everyone else.
If you’re looking for a good Dracula movie, I suggest The Invitation. Both of these movies are on Prime
#count dracula#dracula daily#dracula#re: dracula#Dracula: the original living vampire#worst movie ever#bad adaptation
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Why Ella Enchanted (2004) Sucks #1
In the book, Mandy is a middle-aged woman (fairy) with frizzy hair and a double chin. In the movie, they cast Minnie Driver as Mandy who decidedly does not fit that appearance whatsoever.
I'm going to saving up other reasons why the way they portray Mandy sucks in the movie, but I just want to sit and focus on this. Hollywood erased a central figure in the book who was a middle-aged woman and replaced her with a pretty face. No room for older woman figures mentoring and caring for young women here! No, no, no! We need PRETTY people! I mean, what's the POINT of eternal life if you have to spend it looking like an ugly old woman? BLECH. No, replace her with pretty! We must save our audience's eyes and give them Minnie Driver instead!
I don't even get what the point of this is??? I mean, Mandy isn't the protagonist but they STILL refused to give an older woman a kickass role and help inspire young girls with her wisdom. I guess she didn't fit the modern aEsTHEtiC they were going for because ew, a woman over 30??? That's OBVIOUSLY a crime.
#ella enchanted#ella enchanted 2004#ella enchanted 2004 sucks#it's the worst movie adaptation ever#ella enchanted remake campaign#no hate to minnie driver
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Been doing my annual re-read of The Dark is Rising (yes I do not read it at Christmas, I realise this may upset some of you) and naturally enough this has dragged me back to the godawful movie adaptation of it, and two things have jumped out at me this time around:
God, the Signs are boring. Like, they clearly tried to make the Signs visually distinct instead of the same circle-quartered-by-a-cross, but then they don't actually bother differentiating them in the script, so I can't tell which of their redesigns are supposed to be which. It's possibly one of the only actually creative changes they made, and the script kills it as much as it kills everything else. Also, this movie is like Dragonball Evolution in many ways, but especially in the realm of 'revealing something about the protagonist at the end of the movie that both wasn't in the source material and profoundly fucks up the timeline they've been trying to establish.
Somehow I only caught now that the Ginny Girl Stanton was named Gwen, which is... a choice. Look, there are three Stanton daughters in the book - Barbara, Gwen and Mary. I'm not going to claim any of them are especially well-developed, it's one of the problems of the Sequence, but Barbara at least has a personality. Mary has something plot-relevant to do in this book (which they can't include because for reasons lost to me they put the first beat of the most obvious character arc in the book at the end of the movie). Gwen is the literal definition of 'Just There'. I'd ask why the hell they named the younger girl character Gwen, but I think we all know it's because everything about the Stantons is supposed to be the Weasleys from Harry Potter, which is an adaptational decision that only gets worse with age.
#the dark is rising#I remain firm in my assertion that this is the worst movie adaptation I've ever seen#even infamously bad movie adaptations don't hold a candle to it#it has been 17 years since this movie came out and I am still finding new reasons to hate it
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sometimes i think about how much i love the world war z book and get so very angry about that travesty of an adaptation
#zombies#it's legit the worst adaptation of anything ever#not saying it's a bad movie due to that#it's a bad movie for other reasons relating solely to my taste in zombie media#but good fucking god how do you take a slow creeping anthology of different people surviving the end of the world#and turn it into shooty mc main character saving the world in the dumbest way possible#they were SLOW ZOMBIES#not INVINCIBLE SPEED MONSTERS#they were EASILY VINCED THAT WAS THE POINT#it wasn't ABOUT the zombies it was ABOUT the indomitable human spirit and the power of community#god i'd kill for a proper adaptation in a tv show
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okay so my bob dylan thoughts are this: he's a huge pretentious phoney who pretends to be a world weary truth telling troubadour because he thinks it's funny to trick people and also he thinks he's better and smarter than everyone else. At the same time he IS a world weary truth telling troubadour and a once in a generation songwriter. and then also at the same time as that he's a smug petty asshole. Timothy chalamet appears to be playing it completely straight, like he's playing bob Dylan the character, the very top layer that all the talk show hosts in the sixties thought he was, so basically the exact same energy as his stupid Wonka movie just with more flannel
#also in case it's not clear I love bob Dylan easily one of the greatest musicians of all time#just he's also a piece of shit lmao#and a poser#anyways they should scrap this movie and just adapt Joan Baez's memoirs#OH and speaking of Joan Baez that is some of the worst casting I have ever seen#where is her nose????? And her big sad beautiful eyes???????????#Baez nation we gotta rise up and boycott this movie
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I'm not a "new musical theatre style music" person. Never have been.
Even when I was doing voice lessons, I'd steer towards the golden age or jazzy musical theatre songs. My voice teacher would have to drag me kicking and screaming towards adding anything new musical theatre to my repertoire. For a while, the most modern song in my book was I Know The Truth from Aida, and I wouldn't count that as new musical theatre style since I mean more the Pasek&Paul or Joe Iconis type.
And now I have an audition coming up for a small production of a show in that style and I'm supposed to sing a song in a similar style. And I'm looking at all my sheet music like... let me do some Cole Porter... or Gershwin... at least Sondheim please...
#look i do have SOME newer musicals in my book. but like i said. kicking and screaming.#i'm probably gonna end up doing 'I Think That He Likes Me' which is not IN a musical it's just new musical theatre style#as part of a songbook for some writing duo that i can't remember the name of and it's 2:45am so i can't care enough to look it up.#and it's the only one in my sheet music folder that i'm like 'ok. this is TRULY the right style' and i know it's good in my voice#and it's a cute song and i do like it and it definitely fits the overall vibe of the show#and though i haven't sung it in like 4 years i still remember 90% of the words and have time to study it before the audition#but while trying to find that song deep deep in my folder i pass by other songs i just love so much more#and i'm like ahhhhhhhh why#and i'm not even like 'god i hope i get it' (see A Chorus Line. that's more my type) i truly don't care if i'm cast or not#and yes i can technically audition with any song i could ever want it's just suggested to do the same style#but i know the entire creative panel who i'll be auditioning for and the last 2 times i auditioned for them i sang the same song#only because it's a GOOD song that fit both shows i was auditioning for (Can't Stop Talking About Him by Frank Loesser)#(perfect audition song since it's short at like 28 bars and you can pick the tempo and do a lot of character stuff)#(but see this is what i mean. like 1/3 of my entire sheet music folder is golden age musicals. then half is 60s-90s.)#(and then the last chunk are the few new-ish musical theatre and some pop music.)#(if i took performing more seriously i'd have a wider range but this is truly just for fun and just for me. so i do what i like.)#i don't want to go in for a 3rd audition with the same creative team and doing the same song. especially since it doesn't fit this time.#so once again. dragged kicking and screaming. over to new musical theatre territory. unwillingly.#if i get cast we'll have to see if the show itself even grows on me since honestly i think there's maybe 2 songs i like in it.#it's definitely not the worst new musical theatre style show but it's also not one that drew me in.#ok wait while looking through lists of 'new musical theatre' shows to find one i actually like (i think just Legally Blonde sorry guys)#(every other new musical in the last 20 years that i like did something interesting with the music like Come From Away)#i ended up finding out that apparently 13 was adapted into a netflix movie? when did that even happen?#i mean i don't care for that show either but i thought i was at least up to date on movie adaptations.
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me bc (one of) my fav book series is becoming a tv show
#please don’t ruin it please don’t ruin it please don’t ruin it please don’t ruin it please don’t ruin it please don’t ruin it#i think tv show adaptation are so much better than movies#anyway#live laugh love scythe by neal shushterman#i like to think that scythe is the outcome of unwind#i LOVR unwind it’s like top 3 for me#i will never forgive my english class for choosing to read i am the messenger instead of unwind#WORST BOOK IVE EVER READ#i love neal shushterman’s books#they are amazing
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