#it's stronger than looking at a picture of the place or person or thinking about it

[queerstudiesnatural]

funny how powerful a smell can be. it can really bring out so much emotion

[chuluoyi]

✎ protect

- gojo satoru x reader

the word “protect” now means so much more to him

genre: soft and playful gojo, sugary dump fluff, pregnant!reader

note: anyone craving some soft gojo? :3 based on a suggestion by an anon who needs a soft gojo a while back, thank you!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

When he was 16, Gojo Satoru thought that protecting other people was a pain, and didn't take it seriously.

Later, when he realized that even non-sorcerers deserve to live their lives in peace, he dedicated himself to becoming stronger so that he would be capable to protect them more. However, even then, he didn't perceive their worth as significant.

But when you entered the picture, that measly, glorified word suddenly became so much more.

Usually people would only care about whether he had succeeded his mission or not. His formidable reputation as the epitome of strength means no one is genuinely interested in his wellbeing—no one after Suguru, to be exact—until you did.

After a whirlwind romance of attraction and banters, Satoru reached the conclusion that he wanted you, the only person left who actually made him feel like a human, to stay happy and safe. He would do it with his own hands, even if it meant reshaping this cruel world to be kinder for you with him as your shield.

And the word “protect” gained an entirely new meaning years later, when he rested his head on your swollen belly—the place where his new cherished treasure was growing.

“When will he come out~?” he asked in a whiny tone and a blissful smile, even though he clearly knew the answer.

You shook your head with playful resignation, unable to conceal your smile. "In three weeks. Now help me get comfortable, you dork."

He helped you turn over and fetched a pillow to place under your aching spine. Then, with a mischievous grin, he lightly poked your belly with two fingers, eliciting a yelp from you.

"Don't poke me! You're poking your child!"

To that, Satoru merely threw his head back and snickered like the dumbass he was. He then tenderly rested his hand on the taut skin of your belly, gently massaging it, smiling with ardent happiness.

"Can't really believe it," he sighed, brimming with the purest sense of contentment. "A mini Gojo, huh... You're really doing a honorable work."

A child of his and yours. He had always wondered how he would be after seeing him firsthand—would he laugh just like he had been doing now, or will it be the first instance that move him to the point of shedding tears? One of the reasons he eagerly anticipated his son's birth was just to discover how he would react.

Seeing the weight of his baby growing within you, making you rounder and fuller, stirred a deep well of warm emotions in him with each passing day though.

"I am," you retorted cheekily, rolling your eyes. "In fact, you should be revering and worshipping me for carrying your spawn."

He merely hummed in a childlike manner, feeling his baby move around under his touch. You were about to roast him again with something funny when he leaned down and planted a kiss on your tummy, whispering to it.

"Please come out already~ Papa wants to meet you!"

Your heart swelled with warmth at that moment. Gojo Satoru was many things, but he wasn't typically known for his softness—he was often seen as this all-perfect being, and so witnessing him acting purely on his human emotions brought you a sense of happiness.

“Who do you think he’ll take after?” you mused.

“Hmmm. Me, obviously. He'll be hot just like me!” he quipped proudly, and you playfully smacked him on the arm.

Satoru caught your hand and kissed it tenderly amidst his grin. "But I want him to have your personality. I'd hate to see him be a show-off."

"So you do realize that you're actually a menace."

He laughed out loud, patting the generous swell of your belly again with a smug look on his face.

"I know, but I'm your menace, and that's all that matters."

And when his adorable son was born less than three weeks later and you passed out due to sheer exhaustion, Satoru vowed by everything in the heavens and the earth that he wouldn't spare anything to protect you and his child from this curse-filled world.

Epilogue - on the night of the birth -

“Satoru—” you panted, grimacing, head jerking back as your womb throbbed and pulsed in order to bring forth your child into the world. “I… feel like I’m going to faint…”

Worry etched his face as you leaned on him. “Hey, hey… Calm down sweetheart, relax and catch up on your breath, okay? Don’t worry, he’ll come out soon.”

Somehow his words rubbed you the wrong way.

“Hahh—this… is because of you! This happened because you shoved your stick into me! You horny bas—aahh!”

“Well, hey! Last I remembered, you begged me to put it into you! And I'm not—pfft—”

“Then what are you?!”

“Hmmm, nothing but a man who got you pregnant, sweetheart~”

“If I bleed out and die, it’s going to be your fault, you evil, wretched sorcerer!”

[feline-insolitum]

i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go

LOOK AT HIM!!!

most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing

you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him

but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it

you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.

and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!

i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.

maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place

i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.

that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him

this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.

after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.

this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?

and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown

i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written

[edenmemes]

baldur's gate 3 starters (part 1)

part 1 / ? .

❝ a less trusting person might think this all sounds very suspicious. ❞ ❝ you say all the right words, but i’m not sure you mean the right things. ❞ ❝ i know somewhere quiet. somewhere intimate. somewhere we can…indulge in each other. ❞ ❝ eugh, don’t be nice to me. it makes me want to be nice back. ❞ ❝ we needn’t be enemies. there’s plenty of those to go around already. ❞ ❝ there’s a steeliness to you, an unwavering tenacity in the face of, to be frank, quite dire odds. ❞ ❝ even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will. ❞ ❝ i appreciate anyone that opens a conversation with threats of bodily harm. ❞ ❝ oh, you know me - ever the optimist. i’m trying to focus on the positives. ❞ ❝ i’m not easily impressed by people, but you’re stronger than i gave you credit for. ❞ ❝ there’s an air about you. something alien. ❞ ❝ loosen the grip on your pride for one blasted moment, won’t you? ❞ ❝ it’s been a long time since someone stuck their neck out for me like that. ❞ ❝ there’s something odd about this village. people skulk around like they’ve something to hide. ❞ ❝ you know, if you want to spend time with me, you only have to say so. ❞ ❝ i want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. what you see. ❞ ❝ what’s better than a devil you don’t know? a devil you do. ❞ ❝ you must know that you’re…that you’re very special to me. ❞ ❝ the gods are nothing if not vindictive in their vengeance. ❞ ❝ stay with me a while, will you? day will come all too soon. ❞ ❝ here’s my little treat with their cheeks all flushed. ❞ ❝ i am terrified. i will not claim otherwise. ❞ ❝ my apologies. i’m not quite myself yet. i had the strangest dream last night. ❞ ❝ we didn’t die today. tomorrow, perhaps. but not today. ❞ ❝ leader’s need to make tough decisions. we do what we must. ❞ ❝ i think that unknowable powers come with unknowable consequences. ❞ ❝ i’ve had a lifetime’s fill of watching little men puff themselves up with grand titles. ❞ ❝ in these times, all we can trust are the blades in our hands. ❞ ❝ it’s not easy to turn away from one you once loved. ❞ ❝ much has been promised to you, hasn’t it? but what has been taken from you? ❞ ❝ damn it all. i can do nothing right - not a damn thing. ❞ ❝ every instinct i have tells me that nothing’s changed. that i’m still just a means to an end. ❞ ❝ do not speak of a story you only know the half of. ❞ ❝ i dreamt every night that you’d come back to me. that somehow it was all a nightmare dawn would undo. ❞ ❝ when the time comes to strike, you must take it. for there may be only one chance. ❞ ❝ your eyes. there is pain, endless and deep. but also devotion - blazing like the sun. ❞ ❝ you’re adorable even when you’re teasing me. ❞ ❝ i don’t need your help, and i don’t need your pity. ❞ ❝ i’m more than what i was. and i’m not afraid of anything any more. ❞ ❝ i said exactly what i meant: i love you. you should never, never doubt that. ❞ ❝ this is all like some sort of terrible dream. but it’s real, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ there is no redemption. can’t you see? it is too late. ❞ ❝ i don’t know that it was brave. i just know that it was right. ❞ ❝ you took those bastards down like it was nothing. it…was amazing. ❞ ❝ they underestimated me. so they paid the price. ❞ ❝ we fight, we die, and we just hope that when our time comes, there is someone else to take our place. ❞ ❝ unfortunately for me, you’re my friend. rescuing you from mortal peril is my right. ❞ ❝ what did you think i was going to say? 'oh, come here, i'll kiss you better'? ❞ ❝ flowers are so overrated. they're bright, gaudy, and almost never make good poisons. ❞ ❝ i’ve been lied to, my whole life. and i was gullible enough to just believe it. ❞ ❝ you know, i never pictured myself as a hero. never thought i'd be the one they toast for saving so many lives. and now that i'm here…i hate it. ❞ ❝ you know, i feel a connection between us. like we're two souls walking the same path. ❞ ❝ the forgiving sort, are you? you should be careful. plenty would take advantage of that. ❞

❝ it’s as if god made you just to ruin me. ❞ ❝ perish the thought. every word i said was nothing less than true. ❞ ❝ you have a manner of irresistible desperation about you. i like it. ❞ ❝ i got my eye on you. you got the look of a troublemaker. ❞ ❝ i’m starting to think you’re my guardian angel. ❞ ❝ it seems you know me better than i know myself. ❞ ❝ you…you have no idea what you’ve done. ❞ ❝ they say madness and genius are separated by but a hair’s breadth. perhaps the same is true of madness and stupidity. ❞ ❝ oh, it’s you. don’t you get tired of telling people how to live their lives? ❞ ❝ good morning! thank you for not killing me the other night. ❞ ❝ when the time comes to strike, you must take it. for there may be only one chance. ❞ ❝ it is good to savour the moment of victory - but pace bg3 syourself. our fight is just beginning. ❞ ❝ i was too hasty to judge you. i thought you were witless, gutless, unimpressivably bland… ❞ ❝ yours is the first happy face i’ve seen in a good while. ❞ ❝ when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair – that’s when you’ll come knocking on my door. ❞ ❝ thank you, my friend. maybe we’ll meet again, in another life. ❞ ❝ you’ll regret sticking your nose in my business. ❞

[fandoms-x-reader]

Shy But Mighty

Oneshot

Requested By: @fernstarsblog

Summary: Lucifer gets surprised by how strong you are.

Lucifer never would have expected this power to come from you.

You were such a kind and caring person. And you tended to act a bit reserved.

Not only that, but Lucifer tended to think of humans as a weaker species.

It was nothing personal, it was just that demons were built so much taller, larger, and stronger.

So, it was only natural for him to think that he would be stronger than you.

-

The two of you were in his study, sitting across from each other at his desk.

Lucifer had a bit too much Demonus that night - granted, it was because of you encouraging him to keep drinking.

This was one of the rare nights that Lucifer had you all to himself, so naturally, he wanted to enjoy it to its full extent.

So he continued to drink away while enjoying conversation with you.

Then - you decided to challenge him to an arm-wrestling competition.

A small smirk formed on his lips as the words left your lips. There was no way you could be serious, right?

You - a mere but very adorable human - were challenging him - one of the seven rulers of the Devildom - to a contest of strength?

Lucifer tried to politely decline. He didn’t want to hurt you.

“Are you scared of losing?” you asked him in response.

Lucifer’s eyes widened slightly at your question but then they glowed with a mischievous glint.

There were a lot of things that Lucifer had control of in his life, but his sin wasn’t always one of them.

And telling a very prideful demon that they weren’t doing something because they were scared was a terrible idea.

Lucifer’s smirk turned into a devilish smile as he leaned forward, his raven black locks falling slightly into his eyes.

He placed his dominant arm upright on the desk, before telling you, “Fine, if you want to embarrass yourself that badly.”

You would have scoffed if Lucifer wasn’t playing right into your hand.

–

A week ago, you had been cleaning things in your bedroom when Belphie stopped by to ask you a question.

That’s when he noticed you moving your heavy furniture around like it was nothing. 

Belphie was stunned at first, then suspicious of whether you were really a human or not.

He dragged Satan into spying on you with him and when they both witnessed your strength, they had decided that you couldn’t be human.

Satan confronted you about it, and the whole scenario made you laugh. 

You explained that you worked hard for your muscles and that you were just really strong.

Belphie, of course, then wanted to challenge you to a feat of strength.

He was the one who came up with the arm wrestling idea. 

But, when you beat him quicker than either of the two demons in the room believed should have been possible, Satan wanted a chance as well.

He blamed Belphie’s loss on the fact that he was the seventh born. Obviously, the fourth-born would be much harder to beat.

Or so he thought, until moments later he was wearing the same defeated expression.

Belphie and Satan sat in silence for a few moments after, trying to comprehend how they were weaker than you.

But, then Satan’s eyes lit up with excitement. “We could use this against Lucifer,” he stated.

Belphie was, naturally, immediately on board. “That’s it! He’ll be so embarrassed when he loses a contest of strength to a human,” Belphie added.

“And we can sneak in and take a picture of his expression when he’s embarrassed and post it online for everyone to see!” Satan continued, the two of them looking like kids who had just discovered the greatest treasure.

“Hold on,” you stated, unsure if you were completely on board with the idea.

You would be the one who was putting themselves on the line here, so you had a couple of questions.

“First, how do we know that I can beat Lucifer? I’m strong but he’s the first born for a reason,” you told them.

Before they could answer your first question you continued to question, “And, we’ve tried to take a picture of Lucifer before. He always catches us in the act so how do you plan on pulling it off this time?”

There was a moment of silence before Satan said, “Demonus.”

Belphie’s eyes lit up again. “We just need to get him to drink enough of it, and then his strength and awareness will be down. So you can win and we can take the picture,” Belphie agreed.

You pondered the idea for a moment and your two friends looked at you with hopeful eyes. 

You let out a small sigh, already knowing the assignment that was given to you.

You nodded your head and watched as they got large smiles before moving to get everything you needed to pull this off.

-

Even though it was all a scheme, you were really enjoying your conversation with Lucifer.

You were somewhat grateful that you had the job of making sure he drank plenty of Demonus.

But, the time for talking was over. Now, it was time for the second part of your job.

You moved forward as well, placing your hand in his gloved one, giving him an innocent smile.

On his mark, the match started and you watched as his expression turned from confidence to confusion to slight panic as you began winning the match.

You had a smirk on your face as his hand hit the desk and Lucifer looked at you in bewilderment.

*FLASH*

In his moment of defeat, Lucifer had let his guard down just as you all had planned.

He didn’t notice that Belphie and Satan had snuck into the room to take a picture of his grand defeat.

The three of you quickly left the room, knowing that your scheme was sure to make the eldest angry, Demonus or no Demonus.

“We got it!” Belphie told you as the three of you ran for your lives. 

Funnily enough, Lucifer wasn’t angry until you posted it online, on multiple different platforms, from multiple accounts.

By the time Lucifer managed to get them all taken down, practically the entire Devildom had already seen the picture.

The Anti-Lucifer League received a very long lecture from Lucifer after that and you each had your own proper punishments.

But, Lucifer would be lying if he said that your strength didn’t impress him.

He could have any excuse as to why he lost that match, but the truth of the matter was you were so much stronger than he would have imagined.

And seeing that strength put to good use did happen to spark his sin and make him smirk as he watched you in action.

After that day, whenever there was something that involved physical strength, Lucifer would take the back burner and suggest that you help instead so that he could see your display of power.

He won’t admit it, but it excited him to see you looking so powerful.

But, if you ever needed a reminder of who was really in power in this relationship, he would be more than happy to show you.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲’𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

✯charles leclerc x female reader

✯seeing charles become a father was your happiest day, especially knowing he’s your daughters absolute favourite person

✯no warnings, quite cute and wholesome

✯here is a little dad!charles post, i love dad charles so much you have no idea. obviously i made it so that his daughter is bilingual, so there will be french and english swapped back and forth! i feel like this isn’t good but idk anyway enjoy <3

When Ella was born Charles thought he could never have a day where he’d feel as elated and as whole as he did, he felt those exact feelings the day he married you, and again when you told him you were pregnant. Although he knew this feeling all too well, it only intensified having his baby girl here with him and watching her grow and learn as she got older.

You loved watching the father and daughter duo play, laugh and of course cuddle up on the couch together after a long day, but nothing beat seeing her reaction when he got home from race weekends. Ella was learning to speak english and french of course, you were far more english speaking than Charles having moved to Monaco for him, but your knowledge of the language was stronger than it had been when you first got here.

“Maman?”

Looking towards the living room you smiled seeing Ella sitting at her favourite spot, colouring a picture for her dad. She had his eyes, and his hair too, not to mention a smidgen of his attitude. They were carbon copies of each other.

“Yes my love?”

You set aside what you were doing to join her in the living room

“What time is daddy going to be home?”

“I think he should be here very soon ma belle”

She nodded before showing you her drawing

“Pensez-vous qu'il aimera ce que j'ai fait?”

You smiled rubbing her cheek gently with your thumb, her eyes looking up at you with the slightest hesitation behind them

“oui mon bébé, il va l'aimer”

At your answer she smiled placing it back down onto her drawing table before double checking to make sure her work was perfect. A habit she had when it came to making anything for Charles, who was more than happy to hang all of her artwork in his office, the bright colours always contrasting against the dark oak that lined the walls.

Ella cleaned up her mess, organizing her markers in colour before the sound of a car locking outside had her running to the window looking outside to see if she could spot her father.

“Papa! Papa!”

From outside, Charles saw his baby girl looking at him from the window, the excitement on her face causing him to smile as he waved at her, blowing a kiss to her

“Maman, we have to go to the door!! Right now come!”

You laughed as she grabbed your hand, pulling you to the front door, waiting patiently as you unlocked and opened it. Ella was quick to run out and down a few steps, giggles leaving her lips as she got closer to her dad who was quick to pick her up and hold her to him.

“Ella Bella!”

“Papa tu ma’s manqué!”

Charles laughed rubbing her back

“I missed you too ma chère, were you good for maman?”

Ella nods her head quickly before looking to where you’re still standing by the door

“Devrions-nous aller voir maman?”

“Oui!”

On the way up to you he placed a few kisses to Ella’s head, every moment he got to spend with you two would always be special to him, Ella was getting so big now he wanted to savour every minute of her still being his little princess.

“Welcome home baby”

You smile bringing the two of them in for a hug, only pulling back to press a kiss to his lips before ushering your family into the house and out of the humid summer air. Once the three of you were inside Charles put Ella down so she could run to get her drawing, allowing your husband to pull you in for another kiss, this time keeping a hold of you

“How about you? You miss me that much too?”

Laughing you nodded

“Of course, always do Char”

Charles brought his things to the bottom of the stairs, not wanting the haste of unpacking at the moment, he’d get to it later, or you’d beat him to it as usual, always more than happy to let him and Ella spend time together.

“Papa come here please!”

Kissing your cheek, Charles walked to the living room where Ella was waiting, a smile on her face as she held out the drawing she made

“Wow! Did you do this yourself?!”

Ella beamed at the surprise in his tone

“Yes! Made it for you papa!!”

“Je l’aime tellement mon bébé, c’est magnifique! Merci Ella, je t’aime tellement”

“Je t’aime papa!”

Charles smiled as Ella jumped up and down, wrapping her little arms around his neck as she giggled, happy her father loved the drawing she made. As you watched the two of them your heart grew, there was no love that would ever match how Charles felt about his baby girl, and one day you’d hoped he’d feel about another little Leclerc running around.

If there was anything Charles was better at than racing, it would be being the best father to your daughter, and the best husband to you, there was no doubt about it.

[astrow0rldx]

PAC: Messages to your mental health 🌑

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

yoooo everything came out creepily clear. take what resonates tho & use your intuition to pick a photo.

Pile One:

｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ

(OVERALL: Queen of Pentacles & The Empress. also: 2 of cups, Ace of Swords, three of pentacles, & the star.)

Self worth, Self Value. A lot of you are trying to find & embrace your femininity. Be grateful, live in gratitude. Be grounded, be responsible. "Don't be a Lady, Be a Legend." Focus on building the life you want because you deserve it. Your beautiful, Your safe and secure, Your everything you need.

I could see that your probably focusing on a connection, could be platonic or friendship, but any type of bond in your life. You might have something you want to know about them, and need some clarity. You might want to build with this person, a connection, a goal, anything. Have Faith be Optimistic.

It's not saying this is a bad part so if this has not happened YET, if theirs a person in mind you might need to talk about, and build with them on some type of plan you guys have going on. Let them know information.

Bonus; I picked an artist that came in my mind & shuffled:

Of all the ones Of course I'd want the one who doesn't want me Of all the thoughts Of course I'd think that you'd know how to love me

But damn, I wish you did Oh, what I would give Just to be in your possession But I won't influence Or try to convince You, that I'm the right decision

(Heavy Taurus & Libra energy)

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Pile Two:

｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ

(Overall: 8 of swords, Judgement. & King of Pentacles, Five of pentacles, Wheel of fortune, The Chariot, Strength.)

Overall you stressed out & you need a blunt. lmao.

By the picture you picked & the cards, you need your bag. and your probably feeling a lot of lack in your life. you feel like material will make you fulfilled & secure. your trying to have hope but what you need to do is use that Chariot & Strength energy. Chariot don't fall to obstacles, neither as Strength. You can get it if you want to.

I see that overall is the 8 of swords & Judgement. So you may be, what should I call it. Delusional & Heavy Anxiety. Stuck in your overthinking, floating in your anxiety and judging yourself & everything around.

Instead build on your insecurities so you can chase the security to make you feel fulfilled. Not trying to scare you, but their may be entities around, or just energy like people in your life that don't want you to enlighten & grow. mentally, emotionally, financially. They want you to be stuck in fear & judgement. An emotional frequency that's scientifically stronger than Love is Authenticity. So if theirs a certain college path, or some type of path or thing you personally want to uniquely do, do it!

..... my username is literally astrow0rldx. So I'm going to refer you to your astrological chart. Look at the house of your Uranus for what you should be different in & revolution. If your feeling stuck & need some more strength and responsibility, look at the house of your Saturn for where, but how to express it in your daily routine is the planets or signs in the 6th house. And if you want to know what you should become in this life, look at the house of your North Node for your life purpose, your Sun for where to find your identity, your chart ruler or rising sign for the big bingo on the outlook you should have on it. and your Midheaven/Planets on the 10th house that everyone talks about, which is how people are going to see you, as a place in this world. your reputation in society.

I shuffled:

Can't stand it, backhanded They wanna see us fallin' apart You know that I love you So let me into your heart

Let me into your heart Do you really love me? I'm gon' get you, girl, ahh

Girl, you really got a hold on me So this isn't just puppy love

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Pile Three:

｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ❤｡･::･ﾟ❤,｡･::･ﾟ

(Overall: Five of Swords & Hanged man. & Wheel of fortune, Nine of wands, Ten of cups, Death, & Ace of swords.)

So my stomach dropped before I pulled your cards. Are you guys emo's, or am I talking to fellow witches. Are you down rn, cold, resentful, vengeful? Casting spells, ready to kill or something.

Your feeling competitive ready to fight & go to war. Has there been an ending, some news you got. HMMM.. very dark pile. for some people, could be the complete other way around where your the victim in the situation. and your feeling defeated, defenseless & that fate is just beating you down.

I shuffled:

OMGGGGGGG! The music video looks just like the photo you picked- ummmmmm. Motels could be literally significant. Very dark music video, prostitution, casual sex. Money, drugs, Sex trafficking, Kidnapping.

What do you mean? Oh, oh When you nod your head yes, but you wanna say no What do you mean? Hey, yeah Better make up your mind, what do you mean?

You're so indecisive of what I'm sayin' Tryna catch the beat, make up your heart Don't know if you're happy or complainin' Don't want for us to end, where do I start?

First you wanna go to the left, then you wanna turn right (Right) Wanna argue all day, makin' love all night (All night) First you're up, then you’re down, and then between ('Tween) Oh, I really wanna know

You're overprotective when I'm leavin' Tryna compromise, but I can’t win You wanna make a point, but you keep preachin' You had me from the start, won't let this end

[cepheustarot]

How does your crush see the relationship with you?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Your crush sees that you can behave distantly with him, cautiously, somewhat closed, do not show your feelings first, are not the initiator of actions and you are one of those who does not or very rarely takes the first steps. Perhaps this is because you have recently met each other and you need time to open up to a person and get used to him, it is also possible that you are closed people yourself who need a lot of time to trust. Your crush understands this and does not rush things between you, acts slowly and carefully, it is important not to alienate you and it is important that you feel comfortable first of all. In general I can say that your crush has plans for you, they are really sincere in their feelings and gradually their feelings only intensify, become stronger towards you. They see you next to them, they see you in their lives, they are already thinking about joint plans because they can be somewhat dreamy natures. They also understand that rushing into a relationship will not lead to anything good, so they take their time, carefully show their feelings so as not to alienate you away and hurt you and not to hurt themselves. They also believe that your relationship may have potential, you can make a good and harmonious couple.

Pile 2: Your crush sees that your relationship is filled with passion, a lot of strong feelings prevail and they have a feeling that you are attracted to each other, you are attracted like a magnet, they want to be with you as long as possible, see you as often as possible and for this they are looking for any opportunity to meet with you, write to you or talk. I can also say that they are the kind of people who give as much as they receive, that is, in a relationship they manifest themselves no less and no more than you, for them it is like an equivalent exchange. If you take the first step, they will meet you halfway and make the next one, if you don't show your fellings, then they will too. I can say that they do not hide their feelings but show them, they can very noticeably hint or speak directly about them, they can show their care and love through actions, touching you, talking about personal things. However, as I can see, an unpleasant situation has occurred between you, which has hurt this person and now they are in great sadness, offended, very worried about it. It is important to show them that you still value your relationship and you care about the person and his feelings and then everything between you will gradually get better.

Pile 3: As I see it your crush does not have strong romantic feelings for you yet, they are rather at the nascent stage, your crush may feel a slight sympathy but nothing more. They can also consciously keep their distance and not cross the line, not talk to romantic and deep themes, because it's too early for them or it's not a priority yet. But in general, they treat you well, they are comfortable and have fun with you, they like your company, they like to discuss and share their thoughts, they like to talk with you for a long time about some topics. I can also say that they are easy-going towards you, i mean if you say that you would like to visit a place or buy something, they will immediately offer you to go with them or buy what you so wanted. And although they keep their distance and try to keep romantic hints to a minimum, they also do not close themselves from this topic, that is, they still allow the opportunity to enter into a relationship with you, they look closely at you as their lover. And here there is a high probability that you will have mutual feelings for each other.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

[kiryoutann]

𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 ::: 𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐀

TEMPLATE CREDIT. GENSHIN IMPACT MASTERLIST.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Childe is quite affectionate, if not, very affectionate.

He almost met the requirements for the five love languages—almost; the man failed in the quality time department, obviously. But he's a good lover. Opening and holding the door for you, only leaving after making sure you've reached the safety of your home, and giving gifts even on the most ordinary Monday.

"You look good in that dress, babe." "Let me see that pretty face." "Good morning, angel," and a whole bunch of other sweet nothings he said to you. Oh, how he loved to hold you on his lap, burying his nose in your sweet scent while ignoring the stack of documents that demanded his attention.

B = Babe (What would they use as pet names? Do they use them a lot?)

Definitely: doll, babe, baby, angel.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Childe is the biggest cuddle bug, and luckily doesn't have much free time for it (or else the man will forever demand it from you, as if he's eternally glued to your hip). Enjoys being the big spoon in the middle of a chilly night, naked. When you question him about how he remained alive, all he says is, "Darling, do I need to remind you where I come from?"

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Childe is quite good at cooking, but it's mostly Snezhnayan food. I always picture him in the kitchen, wearing a crimson or navy blue apron and flipping whatever is in the pan with a proud smile. Though he makes an effort to clean as much as he can, there is always a dusty spot that remains unattended. Still, he found the window and table wiping to be pretty enjoyable!

E = Emotion (How are they with showing emotion in public versus private?)

I think, by default, Childe is a pretty empty person if we put aside his dark desires and ambitions. In public, he looks like a chill guy. He is cold and full of discipline towards his subordinates. Childe is quite respectful of his fellow Harbingers and those he admires; keep a little distance and minimize conversations with some strange people (for example: Dottore). However, to his family, closest friends, and his significant other, Childe is as warm as the sun and wears his heart on his sleeve.

F = Flirt (How do they flirt? Are they smooth or awkward?)

Oh, he's a smooth flirt, alright. He knows his potential and maximizes it. Usually he squeezes three or four or more in his private time with you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Childe really gentle with his lover. God, I can't imagine the canon him being a violent person (despite his crazy hobby of wanting to fight any breathing creature within his radius). Would massage your feet if you asked. He kissed your ankles in an attempt to make sure there wasn't an inch of you left untouched by him. Treats you like a tiny little bird. Even if there is a moment where he's rough, you can bet it will, ahem, leave more pleasure than pain.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Childe loves hugs! However, I can't say he gave a warm hug. Most of the time, he does the initiating, and hugs from behind are his favorite thing to give.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Long enough for Childe to say these magical words. He had many considerations: was what he felt more than just admiration? Will his confession burden you? Anyway, despite his playful and easygoing persona, Childe didn't say these words carelessly.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

With his confident air, you'd think it would take a lot to make Childe jealous. Wrong. Whoever he considers to be stronger and more worthy than him, Childe turns into a green-eyed monster. But, there are some people who don't know their place that makes him sometimes… feel the need to emphasize his relationship with you.

In the first case, Childe might pout all day or sulk like a child. However, in the second case, he will show warning signs to the poor person by resting his hands on your hips or even a hug from behind while resting his chin on your shoulder. Oh, and that triumphant grin on his face when he knew the signal had been picked up.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Childe's kisses were of many kinds. Short kiss. Soft kiss. And kisses full of desire and longing every time he came back from a long mission or a tiring day. He likes to kiss you on the lips, knuckles, and neck. He loves receiving kisses on the lips, cheeks, head, and the tip of his nose.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

We know the answer to this one!! He is very. Very. Good. With. Children.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Unfortunately, Childe is an early bird, thanks to his job. There's not much you can do in the morning when he's on a work day other than watch him leave. You figure that comes with the job and loving the man. On his days off, he will make sure to spend more time in bed with you, either by cuddling or sleeping through the entire day.

But don't expect him to be as understanding if it has to do with your job. This ginger-haired devil will try his best to keep you in his arms and weigh you down with his body in the hope you'll change your mind about coming to work today. He's super dramatic when you don't.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Childe had irregular working hours, which meant most nights he came home late and you were already asleep. However, on days where he can go home early, he makes sure to take a bath together before going to bed. He's a light sleeper, by the way! Every time you turned around and moved away from him in your sleep, he made sure to pull you close back to him.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Childe had many considerations about the things he held close to his heart. There are some things about him that he fears will change your perception of him. It took him a few months into the relationship to reveal a stupid little secret, and that too was delivered and disguised as a joke. After making sure the foundation of his relationship was stronger, he would then tell the things he only dared to whisper when night fell.

P = Propose (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

At first, I thought Childe was the type of person who would propose about two or three years into a relationship. However, now that I think about it, marriage is also a very, very big thing for him. He has no problem committing, but if we're honest, marriage never crossed his mind until he met you.

It would take quite a while if he wanted to propose marriage. Because apart from the nature of his job (and the possibilities that accompany it), Childe is quite sensitive to rejection. He'll have to make sure you're also on the same boat regarding marriage before he dares present you with the ring he bought somewhere in Mond.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I don't think he's the type of lover who has the ability to remember small details about his significant other. Sure, he remembers your favorite food, your choice of flowers, and the songs you used to hum; However, he's not the type to go into too much detail.

Despite that, Childe gave you the best things he could get. So, even though he sometimes forgets things you've mentioned before, you can surrender yourself completely to him because you know, Childe will move heaven and earth for you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The night he realized he loved you, as the world turned more colorful than ever. However, if Childe fell in love with you at first sight, his favorite memory would be the first time he laid eyes on you.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Childe is quite protective, but (thankfully) not so much that you feel suffocated. He is quite secretive in protecting you. Always sweep his gaze around scanning for possible dangers in every place you visit. Not to the extent of ordering his subordinates to follow you, but he can always be sure and will go to any lengths so that you don't get hurt.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Childe is a good lover. However, gestures of affection are more about big things such as giving gifts, inviting to romantic dinners, and basic things that couples usually do. As I said before, he doesn't remember small details very well; but he makes sure everything he gives you is the best.

He may have trouble remembering what kind of ring you like, but you can bet your money he'll buy the shiniest one to adorn your ring finger. His effort can be seen from the way he gives the best, the most luxurious; while small and simple things like a picnic in the park, a walk around the lake are more your thing.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a partner?)

It's the fact that you hear how horrible he is – that he's this bloodthirsty warrior and all the gossip about how he's the Tsaritsa's weapon, and yet you only see a lovesick, little pomeranian puppy swinging his tail happily every time you look at him.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

This pretty boy knows he's all that. It's so unfair how the effort Childe puts into his appearance only consists of washing his face with just water – showering – getting out of the shower with wet hair, and letting it air dry (how can his hair stay fluffy with so little care???). He only used one perfume that Tonia gave him (and mind you, he's been using it for YEARS). And... that's it. All set to take on the day.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?

He would die without you. That's enough said.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Childe did flirt here and there, but surprisingly, his only love experience was having a tiny schoolboy crush on a girl back in Snezhnaya when he was six years old. After falling into the abyss, his teenage years were filled with all the trouble he managed to cause – the fights he managed to be a part of before his father handed him over to the Fatui. Clear records of exes.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

??? I can't think of anything other than Childe doesn't like partners who are.. possessive. He was a young man who still loved traveling and exploring the world, and the thought of having a partner who intended to confine him to one place forever sounded hellish to him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Childe is either a lightsleeper or a very heavysleeper, there is no in between. On weekdays, he can jolt awake from the slight noise from the kitchen. But, he sleeps like a hibernating bear on weekend or when he has overworked himself. Childe likes to sleep on his stomach, shirtless. Snoring varies in intensity from light to moderate.

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[ivesambrose]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 💋

1. 2. 3.

Applicable to your future spouse/soulmate/partner ❤️ we're all connected either way xo

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com with your name and query 🌙

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Picture 1 (red rose bouquet)

I heard the lines, "I've got a burning desire for you baby." From that Lana Del Rey song.

You look sweet, soft spoken, well mannered, adorable, probably like a squishmallow to them and yet you can pretty much kick someone's ass if needed. You give them a, "looks like a cinnamon roll, could probably kill you." Vibe.

In their eyes your beauty not only lies in your face but also your determination, passion, it's about drive it's about power we go hungry we devour.

You're equal parts free spirited and equal parts razor sharp. Sometimes you just know exactly what to say, when to call someone out and when to be more compassionate.

You come off like an open book but it seems far from the truth, there are parts of you so hidden they crave to know yet can't help but be magnetized by the allure. So if you wish, they'd let you keep your secrets as long as you have an honest heart towards them.

Your magnetism, charm, beauty, loyalty, intuition, sensuality, voice, eye for aesthetics, literally everything is what sets you apart in their eyes. They know nobody can replicate the essence you have they wouldn't care anyway.

Picture 2 (colas with cherry)

Something about you is so eccentric they can't put a finger on it even if it's almost obvious. Your mind, body, face, hair, even your language. Could very well be that you have a cultural difference between them.

"they know so much, they know too way too much. I'm actually turned on."

You likely educate yourself a lot on different topics, different cultures, might be a polyglot too. You may have the most strange yet straightforward take on things, you could literally dip chips in icecream and eat them and honestly, they love it.

They love how weird you are in the best ways possible and they never want you to change.

They also see the side of you that can give really practical advice and be super caring and observant. They also really love the way you put certain outfits together or just your aesthetic in general.

They think of you when the most peculiar thing pops up like, "oh look a fruit bat. You know how likes fruit bats?" "Oh *insert name* would have liked this flower." "They would have loved to visit this place with me!"

If and when they're apart from you they think of how anyone would love to get close to you and honestly they get a little jealous.

Little snippets of you exists in their everyday life and more.

Your outlook, your perspectives, differences, your body language, facial features, feisty spirit, knowledge, assertiveness and "Ya I got this!" Attitude sets you apart in their eyes.

Picture 3 (strawberries dipped in cream)

You know that song by Isabel Rosa "you're so pretty it hurts, baby I'm yours..." That came to my mind.

You've gone through a lot of pain, you likely mask that with humour or channel them into your creativity, you're rather jovial, full of life and idiosyncraticities but underneath that you've gone through deep loss and turmoil. But you haven't let that make you a bitter person.

You're healing and yet you heal anyone you come in touch with. Honestly my chest feels heavy and my throat is tight, they want to hold you and just make you pain vanish.

They see you as being a lot stronger than them emotionally and mentally. They know you wouldn't judge them harshly and that being around you feels perfectly harmonious.

You're irreplaceable.

They're aware sometimes you need your space but regardless they want to be at arms reach for you.

Your faith in yourself and whatever you believe in, your goals big or small, your friendliness, your humanity, playfulness and creativity is what sets you apart in their eyes.

[haru-dipthong]

Ep3 of my Utena fansub is out!!

This episode's translation discussion:

でも私、人が大勢いるような場所は苦手なんです。なんだか、みんな同じような顔の人に見えて、怖いんです。

But I feel it's hard for me to deal with a place where there are so many people. Somehow, they all start to look the same, and that frightens me. (from ohtori.nu)

But I’m not comfortable in large crowds. Everyone’s faces start to blur together. It’s quite frightening. (my translation)

If you’ve seen all of Utena, you know the real reason why crowds trigger Anthy’s trauma response. I think the phrase 同じような顔の人に見えて is less about the fact that they all literally start to “have the same face” and more about the fact that they’re seen as one mass, losing their individuality and becoming a mob. Based on this read, and on the visual that happens later (pictured above) I decided to go with “blur together”. I’m sure no one will ever really notice this tiny detail, but I’m hoping if I can make as many translations that are similarly informed by the themes of the work as possible, it’ll be a stronger translation for it!

あのねー、こう見えても僕は健全な女子なの。

Look dude. Despite how I seem, I’m just a normal girl.

I really wanted to preserve the hilarious contradiction present in the Japanese where Utena is saying they're a normal girl while still using boku. They’ve got one foot on the accelerator and one foot on the brake of their gender with this line — ending it in a feminine なの particle.

Courier: 桐生会長からです。 Utena: え？僕に？

Courier: From the student president. Utena: What? From him?

Although Utena’s Japanese literally means “For me?” I think that English phrase sounds quite feminine in the context of receiving a gift. However, Utena is using their masculine 僕 pronoun, so the Japanese doesn’t sound nearly as feminising as the English literal translation. I decided to change their reaction to be “From him?” because it’s less feminine, and because the gendered implications in this scene and following scenes are more important than the literal meaning of the words.

甘えん坊だな、わが妹君は。

Ah little sister, always fawning over me.

A difficult translation. 甘えん坊 is often translated as “spoiled” but in this case it’s meant more as someone who sucks up or craves attention of their parents (or in this case, brother). Also, Touga is using some extremely pretentious vocab here, the possessive わが which is very old fashioned, so I wanted to get some of that pompousness into the translation as well. I think “fawning over me” was a great find that fit really well!

Touga: 想像以上だ！

Touga: Even more beautiful than I imagined.

I almost made this “You’re even more beautiful than I imagined”. The reason I didn’t was because I think Touga here is almost not even talking to Utena as a person. He’s so deep in the objectification vortex that he’s talking about them to himself, like they’re a piece of art.

-----

Thanks as always to @dontbe-lasanya for their amazing editing!

For all released episodes so far, go to this link:

[herejusttosufferalong]

Ok here's my working theory. I just feel like getting it off my chest as I've been so confused about so much since the PT ended - like I just really haven’t been able to get my head around what happened with L. I would love your thoughts!

I do believe/agree with everyone's perception that L may have had feelings for N for a long time (maybe a spark since the beginning, and a fire since season 3). I don't know if I think N had a crush on him too, before or during season 3. They clearly have love and amazing chemistry. He sparkles with her and looks at her like she’s the love of his life. She sparkles with him too, but she also sparkles with everyone and even alone.

I don't know what happened during or after season 3 between the two of them (if anything did), but we know they ended up apart last summer and L found distractions (from his breakup with J, maybe from his feelings for N) in HBS and then, eventually, a budding relationship with A (of whatever kind it is). Maybe he even started to like A, and maybe he thought it could really go somewhere, who knows? He then sees N again at reshoots in December, and then the PT starts in January, and his big feelings are still there/get stronger as they spend time together again.

What I haven't been able to make sense of is how come, with these big feelings, he not only stayed with A through it all but also brought her around to different locations during the PT, where he was with N (and flirting with N) - because it seems to me that A's presence all but guaranteed that nothing would actually happen with N, so why would he want that outcome if he in fact wants N (and if N was available)? It seems clear that he doesn't have the same big feelings for A as he does for N. I also haven't made sense of how someone who seemed soooo sweet and lovely and doting and soft on the PT with N could be with, and return to, such a (seemingly) vapid situation with A, where he seems not only miserable but almost like a completely different person than he showed us during the PT and how his costars describe him to be (and he's also been treating A more poorly than he treated N - at least publicly).

Now, JD has been in N's orbit for at least 2 years - he's been in productions with Louisa, Laurie, and Dylan (at least). I also remember photos showing that he was at CW's wedding in October, so he's clearly been an entrenched part of the friend group for some time (the fact that they more recently followed each other on insta doesn’t mean they didn’t know each other before). So let's *assume* for a second that JD and N are actually together now (and that that's what the pap pictures show us). He seems to mesh well with who N is and her friends/lifestyle. What if N and JD's friendship had been blossoming, with more one-on-one time, turning into a mutual crush, then turning into something more at some point. What if L knew about this because it was taking place before/while N and L were on the PT together. If N and L are BFFs, N could have talked to L about what was happening with JD. And this would explain why L - to protect his heart - kept bringing A around on the PT (despite not seeming to enjoy her presence there) because he didn't want to be single while watching N fall in love with JD. 

Everyone wonders why on earth L brought A to the London premiere (especially given what ended up happening with pap-gate, which I personally don’t think L planned/knew about) - but you know what, JD was there with N's friends too! Maybe L knew that JD would be there, and he knew how shitty that would feel, so he also wanted to have someone with him too (hence A's presence). But remember the conversation on the red carpet, where they're asked for dating advice, and N kind of pointedly says, "wait for the right person, you're worth it" and L looks uncomfortable. Maybe that was N subtly expressing concern about L’s situation with A, as his BFF and not because of any romantic feelings she has for him. But of course, if L had unrequited (probably not communicated) big feelings for N, it explains his discomfort and also his subsequent behaviour with A - carrying on with her after pap-gate (Milan, LA, GQ/Soho House, bday in Italy), while looking miserable, as a continued distraction from his heartbreak over N. It could also explain why he let everything with his public image kind of go to shit (both because he was sad and also because he was still protective of N).

I agree with everyone that by the end of the PT, N started to return L’s heart-eyes and that of course remains confusing. But she's such an effusive and loving person, and she was so proud of him/them for their season and PT, and nostalgic that their big adventure together was ending, that maybe she was feeling so much love for L, her BFF, but not *in love* with L. (Her heart-eyes for Luke T at the London premiere is an example of how she can be so loving with her male friends.)

An imperfect theory, but it's the only one I've landed on, after being confused for months, that helps me to reconcile the L we saw in the PT (N's version of L) with the L of the summer (A and SoHoe’s version of L) - the latter of which has frankly confounded me! - because his summer  behaviour can then be explained as a symptom of his unrequited love (for N) and heartbreak (a Sad Boy Summer).

Does this means that L is (in Suffer’s words) still biding his time and waiting for the end of N and JD?

(Of course, big caveats to all this, we don't know anything! We don't know for sure N and JD are together, or what the status really is/was between L and A. This is all my perception of things from what they show us publicly, I’m just trying to make sense of my own confusion about L.)

this is all opinion 😔

[joocomics]

ಬ fuck buddies: part two

part one | part two | part three

pairing: fuckbuddy!yangyang x f!reader x loser!winwin

genre: angst wc: 1.8k

contains: friends with benefits trope, jealousy, bickering and miscommunication, toxic relationships, dirty talk, gets a bit smutty in the end

“a little bird told me that something interesting went down in my kitchen minutes before the party.” yangyang speaks up without feeling the need to look at you as you walk into the room with drinks for the two of you in hands.

upon hearing these words, on the inside, you instantly picture winwin and how you cuss at him; how you punch his chest and tell him to fuck off for thinking it was a good idea to open his mouth about this even after you told him not to. on the outside, you exclaim with the most unbothered surprise you can fake.

“oh? who is it about?”

“try to guess.”

winwin’s face is still present in your mind as your heart clenches from time to time. the truth is, you don’t regret what happened between the two of you - you liked it, a lot. your only goal was to provoke winwin, to tease him, you didn’t expect him to unleash this new unknown by anyone side of his. one minute he was being his usual awkward self, and the next he was completely unpredictable and suddenly you couldn’t help it - you wanted to see more of what he’s capable of.

but on the other hand… you wish you could turn back time and not give in to the temptation so easily, because yangyang is the one who matters to you.

as you put down yangyang’s drink on the nightstand beside him you use the opportunity to take a quick peek at his face. he looks too calm which puts you on edge. you wonder how much exactly do you mean to him? the number of girls he hooks up with is higher than the number of guys you sleep with; you wonder if there’s a possibility of someone taking your place as his new favorite?

you erase the on going messy thoughts in your head and name the first person from your mutual circle that you can think of:

“johnny?”

“no,” yangyang drags out the word with a certain laziness to his tone, and that makes him seem like he’s getting bored of the way you insist on playing this game. “not even close.”

“i give up,” you sit down on the bed next to him and lean back against the cushions. as you wait everything to go downhill from here, you bend knees to your chest to at least feel comfortable in the heated moment.

what exactly are you giving up? hiding what really happened that night before the party, or… yangyang?

the question shoots through your train of thought so quickly you almost miss it.

but can you really ever give up on yangyang? maybe in another life, but you doubt you can do it in this one.

“i told you you’re not allowed to fuck any of my friends.” he speaks up after a pause of silence. “this was the only condition we had.”

“that’s not true,” you disagree, “we also said that we’re never going to act jealous and ask questions about other people we sleep with.” you resist to turn to him which is good, because you wouldn’t have enjoyed seeing that scornful laugh he makes after hearing you out.

“this isn’t jealousy, sweetheart.”

“then why do you care so much that i slept with him?” you ask, and your heart quickens as the seconds without an answer go by. “because it’s winwin?”

yangyang remains silent for a moment just staring in a blank dot on the wall. in comparison to him, you can’t stop staring at the chair placed in the corner to hold a pile of clothes. it makes you wonder how many girls have tossed their skirts and messy underwear there. you hate the idea of this and that’s why you never use that chair.

“you don’t know him like i do!” yangyang’s voice grows stronger. his hair tumbles down as he looks at his lap while the motions of his hand emphasise his frustrations. “you let him fuck you once - good, now he’s practically in love with you, and you’re only gonna make a fool of him, because he’s already obsessed with you and you hate when people obsess over you.”

“oh, please! don’t pretend to care about his feelings.”

somebody craving my love and attention to the point they can’t think of anything else sounds nice right now, you think to yourself.

you know the reason behind yangyang’s anger, and the words are stuck in your throat, threatening to come out any minute now. you wonder if you’re going to succeed in keeping them in. the idea of putting him in his place is tempting.

“i do, because he’s a good loyal guy.” his tone fades down to normal again. “and you… you’re me.”

you gaze into his face. yangyang tilts his head slightly in your direction, because he can clearly feel the cold intensity in your eyes that are suddenly focused on him after avoiding him for so long.

for an unknown reason there’s a spark in his gaze. like he’s proud of what he just said.

“do not compare me to yourself. we’re not the same.”

“c’mon, we’re like two sides of the same coin, y/n.” a lazy smile slowly spreads on his lips. one that doesn’t convey joy, but an annoying confidence. a smile that says: i’m aware of things that you’re not.

“bullshit,” you scoff, looking away.

your heart starts racing, and your mind starts overworking with all the things you want to say to him, but also with the enormous pile of things you still can’t find a way to explain to your own self; how are you going to tell him things you don’t even know the answers to? you discreetly press a hand to your cheek and realise you’re getting hot from your sudden infuriation.

a good loyal guy like winwin, or any good loyal guy, cannot be with a girl like you.

there’s one thing you know for sure though.

“who knows, you might be right, but there are a few things in which we obviously differ from each other.” you quickly put on a mask that hopefully gives you the look of someone that’s not that affected by this conversation. “confidence, for example. you hate the fact i hooked up with winwin only because you’re scared of people finding out that i went to fuck a loser like him instead of you. they’ll start talking and ask questions. is yangyang that bad in bed? why would she suddenly jump on winwin’s dick an—“

“you do have an imagination, i’ll give you that.” yangyang cuts you off.

“i’m over this.” you put an end to the conversation, and you’re just about to jump off the bed when yangyang’s hand pulls you in. “what do you want?” you mumble with a frown.

“kiss me,” he utters.

“i’m not in the mood,” you turn your head dismissively to the other side.

“baby,” he speaks again even more softly; almost in a completely different voice. “listen to me.”

you know it’s not a good idea, but you look back at him and allow him to run his hands along the bare skin of your arms.

“no one can have what we have.”

there were a few times when you’ve told yourself the same exact thing. it sounds so much better when he says it though - more real.

“and you can’t have what you share with me with another person,” he continues as his one hand goes up to cup your cheek. “same thing with me, even if i try i’ll never find in another girl what you keep on giving me.”

yangyang pulls you closer until you lay your head on his chest. his arms wrap around your figure, and you breathe in and out slowly. the sudden embrace loosens you up on the instant and your heart’s banging goes back to normal.

“let’s not complicate things, yeah?” this question makes his warm voice suddenly ring with a demanding colder thrill. it’s suddle, but you’ve known him for so long that you always notice things like that in his behaviour.

after he doesn’t hear a response from you, yangyang forces your chin up so he can look into your eyes and get it himself. you nod as his finger keeps your head up and soon enough his lips press against yours. how do you resist him?

kissing him always helps you to calm your mind, even when he’s the reason for it to be anxious in the first place. however, there’s one little conclusion that you came to; looks like you’re making progress…

yangyang is wrong about you. you are good and you are loyal, just for the wrong person. yet… here you are, deepening the kiss, because you’re not able to fight against your own true feelings.

after you adjust comfortably on his body, his hands begin to roam freely underneath your oversized tee and your familiar skin, warm against his palms, gets him excited. he takes it off so he can trace every inch without restrictions.

“that’s always better,” he utters close to your mouth.

a sharp breath slips from your lips when he swiftly switches the position by laying you on your back. your hands suddenly hang in the air when he locks your wrists together between his fingers.

“i already want to fuck this pussy again,” he says under his breath while sliding his free hand down your stomach. “just the way you want it.”

the thought of him inside you has you feeling a bit dizzy with the way the tip of his finger brushes against your clothed clit. it’s true, he always fulfills your desires the way you want, but you can’t stop your brain from going back to that experience with winwin… he’s the one who showed you that you can have your desires fulfilled in new exciting ways, and the most pleasing part about it is how unpredictable it felt with him; last but not least… how it felt that he performed the way he did because of you. you’re the main cause for his unrestrained self, and it results into him fulfilling your cravings the way you need them to be fulfilled.

you know you’re all that occupied his mind before and after that… and you know you still are, and you like it.

“come in!” yangyang shouts on top of you, but his eyes look at the half-open bedroom door.

you didn’t even hear the doorbell ringing from being completely lost in your own thoughts. your brows furrow questionably for an explanation, but you quickly receive one when winwin’s voice spreads throughout the apartment.

yangyang’s eyes bling with a daring smile while yours stare at him with lack of understanding.

“thought you’d like it if he comes over to hang out with us,” he says continuing to hold your hands together. “you’re friends now after all.”

! please do not repost, copy or translate my works

! please keep in mind that english is not my first language. i apologise for any mistakes i’ve might missed

[holylulusworld]

Designed by pain (1)

Summary: Broken hearts are hard to put back together. 8 years ago, Dean lost something he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Will he get a second chance?

Pairing: former AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader; Arthur Ketch x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, implied break-up, time jumps, strong reader, Dean being a douche (implied), unplanned pregnancy

A/N: This was an alternative idea for the first chapter of my Bucky story: Monster-in-law masterlist. I decided to use it for a story with Dean.

Designed by pain masterlist

Designed by pain (Prologue)

One night of passion, a life-long responsibility. The words you wrote echo in your mind. It’s only a few days since you left Dean and the house, but you are already falling apart. 

You spent the better part of the drive back to your shared home being scared of the future. 

Having a baby so soon into your relationship wasn’t in your plans. Neither was it to raise the child alone. Even though you know, there is no way you’ll not love the life growing inside your body.

“Fuck, what do I do now?” You slam the door shut behind you and immediately sink to your knees. You choke out a sob and hide your face in the palms of your hands. 

Six days and Dean didn’t even try to call you, nor did he come home. 

He’s over you already, and Lisa will take your place. Maybe it never was your place. You were only a placeholder until she came back into the picture.

You grit your teeth and huff. “Fuck you, Dean Winchester.” Something breaks inside of you, and you don’t know if it’s a bad thing. 

The part of you loving Dean unconditionally already starts to fade, and the bitch in the back of your mind taking over whenever you got hurt wins the upper hand.

You straighten your back and look at the woman in the mirror staring back at you. You smirk and put your hands on your hips. “I guess this means we are going to leave and start all over again. Don’t worry little bean,” you lovingly run your hand over your belly, “we are going to fucking rock this…”

One last step and your new life can begin. This is it, the point of no return. Your life with Dean is over, and you are not even sorry anymore.

You gave him time and space to realize what he was about to lose. In the end, you and his baby weren’t important enough to him to even try to talk things out.

Even if he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you any longer, he could’ve at least tried to be a father to his child.

Now you will be a father and mother to the bean growing in your belly. You’re strong and won’t back down, or cry over spilled milk.

If you look back at this moment in a few years, you will clap your hands and cheer for yourself. You’re stronger than Dean or anyone else gave you credit for. Everyone believed you’re only the cheerful and soft girl who loves to bake cookies and dreams of marrying the man you love.

A week ago, you were this person. 

Today you are someone else. An Amazon, who will take her life in her hands and move on from a man who never loved her…

The takeoff is both exciting and terrifying. You are flying to another country, to live on another continent. Your old life will be in the past, and you can only think about the future from now on. 

Holding your old plushie in your hands, squeezing it tightly you take deep breaths. “In and out,” you tell yourself to calm your nerves. Flying always makes you nervous. This didn’t change.

“How do you like first class, Miss Y/L/N,” your new boss asks. He paid for a first-class ticket so you could talk about your new position and the house he rented for you.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you give him a quick smile. Arthur Ketch is a very polite and charming man, but you cannot appreciate him at the moment. 

“I have to thank you for accepting our job offer,” he says and dips his head to watch you nervously run your hand over your belly. “How far are you?”

“Oh—” heat creeps into your cheeks. You should’ve told him that you were pregnant before accepting his company’s offer. “I…I should’ve told you.”

“Most of our employees are mothers and fathers, Y/N. We are a family-friendly company with family-friendly work conditions. And the boss likes you, and your reputation.” He smirks now and leans closer to look at your belly.

“Do you think he’ll like that I didn’t tell them about my pregnancy? I didn’t do it on purpose. I got to know about my pregnancy only a few days ago, and I didn’t intend to accept the job offer at that time.”

“You know that I’m the boss, right?” Ketch grins. 

“You are the boss now?” Your eyes round. “Since when?”

He shrugs. “I was the one behind the job offer. Robert Singer talked highly about you when we last met. From that moment on, I wanted you to work for us. If I told you back then that I was the CEO of the BMOL you would’ve never accepted our offer.”

“So, you tricked me,” you chuckle. “Lately all men seem to lie to me.” You sigh deeply. “Sorry, that was inappropriate. I didn’t want to…” You sniff. “Sorry.”

“You accepted my job offer because of a bad break-up I assume,” he pats your hand. “It’s alright, Y/N. London is the perfect place to start over. I will show you the town, and help you settle in. If you need help, I’ll be there. We care for our employees.”

“Is that a British thing?” You quirk a brow.

“It’s an Arthur Ketch thing,” he replies. “If you ask me, he’s a fool for letting you go. Sorry. Now I was the one saying inappropriate things, Y/N. You can punch me if you want to.”

“No, you’re right,” you hastily reply. “I gave him a choice, but he just gave up on us after meeting his ex-girlfriend again. The job offer was tempting, but I couldn’t imagine leaving the man I love. He made things so much easier for me. I got a new job and a new life. Maybe I should thank him for being the douche he is.”

“You deserve better,” Ketch softly says. “I know that we barely know each other, but believe me, he’s not worth a single tear. A gentleman should never make a woman cry or hurt her. Especially the one carrying his child.”

You give Ketch a sad smile. You’re embarrassed how easily he saw right through you. It wasn’t your intention to talk about your pregnancy and broken heart with your new boss.

“Y/N don’t worry. Everything we talked about today won’t leave this airplane,” he pats your hand. “If you need a friend, I’ll be there…”

Part 2

[katyspersonal]

who do you think fucked up worse…gehrman or maria?

This is an interesting question, and I kind of didn't think of it before! Time to take a closer look at their crimes I guess. Some of these will be held on the possibilities and 'safe assumptions' though and addressed for the full picture!

1) Both were involved in Fishing Hamlet massacre!

With Maria, we can conclude as much because she discarded her weapons in the well at the place specifically. Her version in the Nightmare realm, a Hunter again, is supposed to be what punishes her, and she is focused on keeping Kos/OoK away from rummaging through. Considering the nature of the Nightmare, as well as the Doll who has spiritual connection with her, it should come from her guilt and regrets rather than.. I dunno, discarding the hunt over natural 'character development' and just picking a cool place to forsaken her past!

Gehrman sleeps better according to the dialogue Doll has after you kill OoK and free it's soul, so if it tortured him so, I think it is safe to say he had to be personally involved too rather than stay back while his students did the job:

They both were involved with Byrgenwerth, following their quest for obtaining the eyes of the dwellers from their skulls, and I suppose cord of OoK?

The thing about this point is that the description is written as though it was Gehrman's curiosity which ruined Maria's "idealisation" of him, or WOULD ruin it had she learned of it! This makes me wonder whether she was really involved in Byrgenwerth all that much, or whether she was aware of the real purpose of Fishing Hamlet massacre beforehand? Her goal, within the Nightmare, is stated to mercy-kill us so we don't allow that curiousity corrupt us to the point of "rummaging through corpse" and similar things, further supported by her visceral attack being an embrace if it is lethal!

I am just saying that here the balance might slightly shift towards making Gehrman 'worse' than her. Maybe she was not aware that it all was not just killing "monsters" but also a pregnant mother with her divine baby, but "well you didn't ask :/". Maybe Gehrman deceived her to use her aid. Maybe he didn't think it would be a big deal for her seeing that Maria was also interested in evolution through talking with Great Ones, and assumed she'd be just as callous about which means to accomplish the goals with?

2) Both were grave-robbing, or at least okay with that!

This one is a little less obvious, but Tomb Prospectors were not the first to go to the Chalice Dungeons! ...It were actually Willem, Dores and Gatekeeper lol:

BUT ALSO it were Old Hunters! We can see the remnants of it by Old Hunter Vitus being one the summons in Chalice Dungeons, hear Gehrman encourage us to go into the Chalice Dungeons to become stronger as via "tradition" of the Old Hunters,

and the fact that one of the things that torture Maria (again, remember that Nightmare Realm is Hell that punishes) is a Chalice:

(A video ( x ) for a better look at the Chalice from a figure)

I'd say that it is not very nice to disturb the undead Pthumerians just struggling in remains of their civilisation! Interesting thing: we can conclude they are even staying there to protect the Great Ones or their remains!

There has been some sort of civil war between ancient great-ones-respecting Pthumerians and who late became Cainhurst nobles! Maria, ironically, fell onto the side of "entitled guys" descendants! But yes, I could see why bullying zombie guys to get more history and archeology relics from them might not seem like much for her at start. Experience in the Fishing Hamlet likely retroactively ruined this period of her life for her: delving into Chalice Dungeons was likewise 'not leaving the corpse alone'. The remaining Pthumerians were right having some honour and dignity. So, that came to haunt her in the form of Pthumeru Chalice. Gehrman is.. well he's here too I guess dfshfdhs

3) Both knew a little too much about Laurence's shady business and did nothing?

Old Hunters used to be friends with Healing Church's Hunters and even had their workshops located close to one another! Gehrman was friends with Laurence and Ludwig, who are both quite strongly involved with Moon Presence (Ludwig's sword and guidance, Laurence's affiliation being known since Byrgenwerth times), as well as the key figure in creation of Hunter's Dream:

This was most likely a bait-and-switch, seeing how the cord itself is still in the real Workshop, and not in the grasp of Moon Presence (unlike, say, Wet Nurse taking Mergo's cord)! I think the purpose of creation of the Hunter's Dream was to "buy time" for the research conceived by the scientists! Remember: Gehrman was known to have "madness of curiosity" that Maria resented, or at least would resent had she known! He might have been fully aware of what Laurence wanted to do and support it! My point here, that with such proximity, he must have known of all Laurence's crimes and agreed with them!

Maria was at least overseer of the Clocktower's Research Hall, which, again, was just beta!Choir.

This last line IS a bit confusing, because it makes it sound as though the nerds looking for the Eyes Inside and the Blood Ministers got split. Laurence and Ludwig make it weird, as Moon Presence is also an Eldrich creature and Ludwig is for sure full of eyes! What also makes it strange is that Choir, and then School of Mensis, are both upper echelons of the Healing Church, but Laurence is supposed to be above both of them.

I think this can be worked with! Let's say what if Choir formed after Laurence's death, which also happened after Maria's death, and Vicars after him were somewhat "powerless" and walked over by Choir and Mensis, only leaders in the name! But that still leaves the bit that the mentioned "division" happened after Choir was formed! Maria and Adeline, however, are locked to the existence of the Research Hall, so, the timeframe when doctors and blood ministers were 100% working together! We find the Eye Pendant that opens the access to the Research Hall in Laurence's hand, and human Skull of Laurence on the platform that hides the secret elevator to that Research Hall. Again, by the Nightmare Logic, they must be connected with Laurence's sins: he started this research, or sponsored it, or was overseeing it, and so on.

This point is not an absolute thing though, because one or both of them might be freed from guilt here. Maybe Gehrman was not as informed and agreeable as we could assume and Laurence did lead him around? Maybe Maria wanted but could not do anything being caught in the web of complicated connections, blackmail and risks for the people she cared about?

4) Both are willingly involved in questionable practices (Maria with research, Gehrman with the cycle of Dream and Hunt)

This point I feel like transcends the morality a little bit, as it touches the matter of 'it is bad if you do it, but it is also bad if you DON'T do it'. I really love Soulsborne universes for having guts to say "you can't win, just pick your poison", but I think it is still worth addressing!

It is up to interpretation in which quantity Maria is involved with the Research Hall! Nothing states whether she founded it, joined in the research later, stepped in and turned the tides (ba dum tss) of the research, or simply was a caretaker/nurse/etc of the broken mess while Research Hall was getting ready for a bit of rebranding. She can be very guilty, or she can be barely guilty but in either case if that was her "redemption arc" that was a pretty bad way to go about it. ...or was it?

Fauxsefka turns people into Celestial Emissaries so they physically can't become beasts instead, and is even stated to be a hero / heroic researcher by Miyazaki:

First, I don't do Death of the Author (in terms of interpreting media I mean, not in terms of a style of writing)! Like, nope. Never. It is just not for me. Creator's word is the final for me; Fauxsefka is the good guy in the story, apparently, and it makes sense considering the fundamentally broken place characters are in! Maria has similarities with Fauxsefka: not only both of them have Cainhurst roots, but also both of them seem to favour 'Stars' line of evolution for humans!

Whereas other patients are afraid of the horrors of the Deep Sea, a concept Miyazaki could not get over well into DS3, Adeline desires them! Other patients seems to have gotten it right, and you can see one of them also clings to Maria mentally to "not drown"; Adeline "didn't understand"! The balcony that Maria wants Adeline to go to so she can forsaken the Deep Sea and seek something "happier" holds unique kind of patients who can shoot cosmic arcane spells:

Herself, Maria is associated with these lumenflowers: their petals are all over her boss arena, and the way to her lays through a much bigger batch of flowers, where Living Failures, other 'Stars' Kin are, whose song lyrics also feature lines 'ave stellar' and 'ave Maria'!

So, how this is different from what Fauxsefka is doing, who is stated to be as much of a good person as possible within this context and with the burden of her knowledge? Fauxsefka was doing more or less rinse-and-repeat practice, with maybe a few patients not surviving the procedure but we don't know what happened: maybe that person was already at the brink of death and she tried to make them live like this.

^ This guy I mean. Maria, on the other hand, is in the time period where the doctors and scientists were only testing the waters (BA DUM TSSS) (ok I will stop) and it was not SO certain what was at the stake, what were the alternatives, what was awaiting the humanity. It is even possible that the beasts problem was not yet bad to the point of "you'll either become a beast, be eaten by a beast or become a Kin, humanity is DONE for!" ! This was an unethical research at the cost of real people! The weight of Maria's sin here really depends on the interpretation, though

As for the cycle of Dream and Hunt, this is complicated and lingers on one's interpretation of what the purpose of the Dream even IS! Its existence provides two things: 1) a hunter who is immortal for the night, thus can sustain the beasts with efficiency like no other, but also effect the continuity of the night ( x ) and 2) supposed sustenance to the Great One Flora of the Moon, who holds the hunt as a concept!

I used to be a bit more set on the idea that if beasts are not sustained and hunted, they will simply overpower those who are yet humans and eat them! It is a self-feeding cycle of people needing to self-defend from beasts, thus having to consume the blood as urgent means of healing and power-up since beasts are too strong, thus risking to become beasts themselves because the blood they consumed during that hunt corrupts them. So, the Hunter's Dream would be a good thing, as it'd help to 'buy time' during nights of the hunt in which not only beasts are more active but Great Ones too! While the Dreaming Hunter holds everything together, the greatest minds of the Healing Church can efficiently study the ways to end beasthood, or ANY problem of humanity, once and for all! It is just better to throw the hunting resources on the Dream, so the scientists don't worry about the beasts and can focus on research. However, I almost forgot that:

This implies that had there not been Mensis Ritual ongoing, people WOULD have the chance to simply 'wait away' the beasthood problem. That, since Rom is not stopping Mensis Ritual but just conceals it, what really makes the inner beast within everyone who consumed the blood inevitably come out is Mergo's cry that draws the Bloodmoon close!

So yeah, the point about Hunter's Dream being helpful for the research of evolution still stands, especially under assumption that the deal with Moon Presence helped to bring more Eldrich Arcane close for "feeding" her. The point about how if the beasts are not hunted they'll simply eat everyone, though, is vague. It is safer to assume that the Hunter's Dream and Research Hall both are both example of hubris of man even if approached differently. Attempts to draw in something dangerous and horrifying, but it is "justified risk" because if you manage to 'tame' arcane/blood, sure, humanity will prosper!

Like... yeah, sure, there IS dangerous and undesireable nature of man that ruins everything and might or might not still linger in humanoids' genes after Loran. But did humanity ASK any of you guys to keep trying to fix it with so many victims and sacrifices? Like, was it WORTH it?

This point is closely tied to 'knowing Laurence's bad antics and doing nothing', yeah. Maria didn't seem to like blood ministration very much, as she disapproved of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint, but she also didn't even approve of blood antics of her own clan! I am not sure what would be her opinion on the Hunter's Dream had she lived to the point when it was created, just that she herself is not willing to ever hunt, so I am leaving this point aside. Is this just blood ministration that she opposes but proximity with a Great One Moon Presence would be something she can see the potential of? Or would she and Gehrman have a pointless cat fight about whose methods are better when they are both hubris of man? In both versions they are 'guilty'! Besides:

In the end none of THIS matters either and everyone was fooled ( x ). The blood offering is a blood offering in any way; whether it is through spilling blood violently during the hunt, or offering the blood's 'red' with how celestial Kin all bleed red. Moon doesn't care what paints it red, in the end.

___________________________________

My conclusion is: both of these characters fucked up almost equally! I think the balance shifts just a little bit and Maria is slightly better than Gehrman since she had some limitations set on how far she was willing to go. Her motivation was not in "curiosity" but strictly in helping humanity, even if in unfair ways, which is apparently not the case for Gehrman?

I'll say this though, NOW I am hooked on the idea of Maria and Gehrman being petty "rivals" ideologically (for as long as they could before Maria's own demons caught up with her). Especially since neither approach is better than the other and they are both cringe loosers! Again, lost comedy gold over Fromsoft making Gehrman's tender and warm feelings for her before and after her death plain. What is not lost, however, is the fact that the two should just kick Laurence and go home :pensive:

[truefakegirlfacts]

"C'mon, look at those tits!" said Megan. "Tell me you wouldn't turn back into a boy for the chance to play with those!"

"Oh yeah, absolutely!" replied Zoe.

Sophie stayed silent, still in shock at the direction the conversation had turned. When she had moved to the city, she had been so excited about the chance to meet more trans women. She was a bit surprised when her two new friends didn't care as much as her about being percieved exactly like a cis woman. They didn't hide some of their more male mannerisms and didn't always correct people who misgendered them. But after a few weeks of getting to know them, Sophie learnt to see the wisdom in this. It was stressful always worrying how others percieved you, and in truth she had realised that there were differences between trans women and cis women, and that was ok. Still, discussing which female celebrities and porn stars were hot enought to get you to detransition was, to Sophie, a step too far. How could they expect anyone to see them as women when...

"Soph? You still there?"

"Huh? Sorry, lost in thought. Did you ask me something?" she said, dreading that they might make her name some big-titted straight girl she'd willingly be the boyfriend of.

"C'mon Soph, a girl you'd detrans for? Don't tell me you haven't thought about it. Every tgirl does. It's ok."

Was that right? Was Sophie just being uptight? The truth is, when she saw a hot girl, she did have to suppress thoughts she thought were unfeminine. Were her friends just being open about a side of themselves that she kept hidden? Her knowledge of celebrities was terrible, but she tried picturing herself as the boyfriend of actresses from films she'd seen. She imagined the envy other men would feel for her. She felt a stirring inside her, and another under her skirt. Still, she couldn't remember any of these women's names. Her horny mind soon turned to girls she knew personally. She flitted through friends and colleagues, imagining herself with them as a normal straight couple, and when one caused a particular swelling down below, she couldn't help but cry out her name.

"Emily!". She Covered her mouth, shocked that she couldn't contain her fantasies.

"Emily Howell? From your work?" asked Zoe. "Yeah, I can totally see that! Fuck, her ass..."

"Dude, she's single. You should totally ask her! And she's always going on about how she loves tall guys! I'm pretty sure you have a chance!"

"Yeah, with how much she says that, I'm pretty sure she's dropping hints."

Sophie tried to think of a reason to disagree with her friends, but couldn't. The vision of her as Emily's boyfriend was a life she'd given up on, but a life that still called to her. She could have the kind of relationship she'd been taught to want as a small boy. She felt a desire to try and make this vsion a reality, stronger than the one that had driven her to dransition in the first place.

"Ok! I'll text her!"

"Woo! Go get her dude!"

"You gonna send her a dick pic? That way she'll know you've given up on the girl thing."

"No no, send her a video of you flushing your E down the toilet. Show her you're commited!"

Sophie's head swam with thoughts of what he was about to do, but he felt a hope for the future that he hadn't felt in a long time.