#it's sorta his personal lucky charm

[habitual-creatures]

*furiously rubbing eyes, trying to read the note and open the bag*

"I'm sorry if you don't want to read this. it's mostly just a precaution. in case i don't come back, from the whole... yknow fixing the rot thing."

[The next line is scribbled out aggressively]

"Even if Evan was being an absolute bastard"

"Even if things go wrong, I want you to know you don't have to try to be useful or helpful to be appreciated. You don't need to do anything. Jo, DIS, Jester, and I, and everyone else in the house all care about you. If Evan can't see how much you're worth to all of us-"

[Another crossed out line.]

"he's just fucking stupid."

"then he needs to shut up and let the people that actually care show it.

Anyways, I just wanted to put this into writing or something before things might get crazy on my end.

In case something DOES go wrong, I want you to have this.

- Kev"

[Inside the bag there's a necklace. In specific a dark blue evil eye necklace. Like this:]

[Another note comes with:]

"I don't know if you're superstitious person not, but I wanted you to have this. I have three. I think originally I bought them for me and two of my old friends... I must've never given them to them. So, I wanted to make sure you and Jester got em. Sorry if this is sappy. Just been something I've wanted to make sure I did. Here's to hoping it goes over well, alright?"

[moomine]

Dad swansea and reader x daisuke established relationship

black friday | daisuke

author's note: this is based on the q&a where the devs said swansea was a sneakerhead lol. i love love love the concept of dad-swansea sm!! it actually maybe sorta kinda has me brainstorming another series.. thank you for the request! (cover image credit)

summary: (daisuke x f!reader) (modern au?) The semester is over and winter break has just begun. You and Daisuke met on campus and have been dating for a while now. When it's time for him to finally meet your dad, Swansea, he insists on getting him something for the season.

word count: 2,661

warnings: no trigger warnings (all fluff here)! all characters are 18+

now playing: Drugdealer, Kate Bollinger - "Pictures of You"

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

The mall was a bustling hellscape. Packed like sardines, people pushed and shoved as they tried to meander from place to place. The line for the shoe store wrapped around the corner, down a long, wide hall, and into the food court. You stood side by side with Daisuke, your coat rustling as you hugged yourself. A cold draft blew past as other customers came and went through the grand entrance, each time causing a shiver to rake through you harshly. Daisuke, who was previously twisting his silver rings out of an anxious habit, stopped and began running his hands up and down the length of your arms. The friction of his hands sent waves of much-appreciated warmth throughout your body. You looked up at him, a grateful smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

“Thank you,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Of course. It won’t be so bad once we get ‘round the corner.” Daisuke peeked over your head and past the line, peering ahead to see how much longer it would take. It was moving at a snail’s pace, and all he could think about was empty shelves. In the nightmare of worst-case scenarios running rampant in his mind, the sneakers he had been keeping a watchful eye on for months were already sold out. Daisuke’s brows furrowed as he caught his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing at the soft skin absentmindedly.

“Maybe we should have gotten here earlier,” you observed, glancing around at the line of people as it only grew larger. You turned back to your boyfriend with a sympathetic expression, features softening as you reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to do this. Y’know that, right? My dad will be happy just to meet you at all.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I absolutely do.” He laughed nervously, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and using his now free hand to run his fingers through his hair. “You’re, like, the most important person in my life. Your dad has to like me, he just has to. If he doesn’t I might straight up disappear. POOF! Daisuke’s gone, vanished into thin air.”

“You gotta relax. He’s gonna love you, I know he will,” you replied, leaning into him for a little extra warmth.

Daisuke held you tighter and shook his head apprehensively. “I just gotta make sure. I really, really want to make a good impression.”

“And you will! You wanna know how I know?” you asked, shifting under his arm so you were facing him. The line moved up and so did the two of you.

He nodded, eyes filling with admiration as his gaze fell from the line before you two to your face. God, he loved your face. No matter how hard he tried, he could never understand how a guy like him got so lucky. Daisuke knew he was a pretty good-looking guy, but you were gorgeous. Must have been his charming personality and impeccable sense of style.

“I know because you’re kind. ‘Cause you have a good heart and you care so much. My dad’s a good judge of character, he’ll see that.” Daisuke opened his mouth to protest, but you raised a finger and pressed it to his lips before he could. “Hey, I’m not finished. So what you don’t know what you want to be yet? You’re ambitious and talented, and you’ve got time. Don’t stress about that, ‘kay? He won’t care, I promise.”

“Can I talk now?” Daisuke asked, your finger still pressed against his lips. 

“You may,” you replied with a playful grin, your hand dropping to your side once again.

“I know I technically don’t have to, but I’m gonna get these shoes and impress the pants off your dad,” he stated, all proud until he had the chance to process what it was he had said. “That didn’t come out right…”

You laughed, taking another step forward as the line continued to move up.

-

A couple of weeks had passed since Daisuke bought those sneakers. Finals season came and went, ushered out by the frantic wrap-up of the fall semester and the introduction to winter break. It was early December when the two of you finally drove back home, meaning it had finally come time for your boyfriend to meet your parents. 

The entire way there Daisuke was a nervous mess. That anxiety only intensified the moment you were leading him to the front door of your family’s home. On top of the gifts he was already carrying, Daisuke had insisted on still carrying the bulk of your luggage inside as well. With one hand he held his presents to your folks, and in the other, he used to pull your suitcase behind him; your backpack was slung over his shoulders. He said it was about chivalry or something like that. As you stepped onto the front porch an onslaught of barking erupted from just beyond the door. 

“Lucy! C’mon, old girl, that's enough!” your dad, Swansea, shouted from inside the house.

You turned to smile at Daisuke only to notice his attention was busy elsewhere. He looked down at the gifts in his arms, biting at his lips. After a moment he noticed you had stopped and his gaze drifted back to you, offering you a timid smile of his own. You reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, keeping it there as you began to rub small, comforting circles against the wooly fabric of his coat.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you whispered in a soft tone.

Daisuke looked down at the gifts in his hands, then back to you with a quick nod.

Now with his approval, you unlatched your keys from your belt loop and unlocked the door. As it swung open with a familiar groan, Lucy, your elderly border collie, came stumbling up to the doorway as she barked an excited ‘hello’. The dark patches of her fur were speckled with long, white hairs and her eyes held a little gray in them. She breathed heavily from her mouth, panting with her tongue hanging out. She looked from you to Daisuke, just as excited to see his new face as your well-known one.

“Hi, mama.” You knelt to her level, petting her head with one hand and scratching her chin with the other. “I’m home!” you shouted into the house.

The smells of garlic and onion wafted from the direction of the kitchen. Daisuke closed the door behind him, looking around the entryway with a curious eye. It dawned on him at that moment that he was standing in your childhood home. Over the course of your life, you had walked in and out of that very entryway countless times —going to school, coming home from your first job at that local coffee shop, leaving for prom or practice. 

“Took you long enough,” Swansea called back as he made his way from the kitchen to the two of you. “I was startin’ to worry you wouldn’t make it in time for dinner.”

Swansea stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a red apron that read ‘Kiss the cook’ tied loosely around his torso —one of the many stupid Father’s Day presents your mom had gotten him over the years. You stood up quickly, racing to him with open arms. He eagerly took you into a tight hug, his clothes and skin smelling faintly of 3-in-1 soap and motor oil.

“Haha. How about a ‘welcome home’ or ‘I missed you so much’?” you said sarcastically as you pulled away from him.

“Welcome home, kid. I missed you.” Swansea’s normal gruff tone of voice was much softer as he spoke to you.

Daisuke stood awkwardly by the front door, still carrying your belongings as well as his own. You glanced over your shoulder with a wide smile and motioned toward him. “Oh! Dad, this is Daisuke. Daisuke, this is my dad.” You took a step back, allowing the two of them to get a better view of one another.

His eyes shot from Lucy, who was now lying at his feet, and toward your dad. Almost too quickly, Daisuke let go of the suitcase and took a long step toward Swansea. He extended his hand, ready to shake, and adorned a toothy smile. The gifts along his other arm wobbled as he reached your father, which he clumsily saved from falling at the last minute.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, sir. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Daisuke said.

“That so? Looks like you got a lot on your plate, son.” Swansea took his hand, holding it firmly as he shook it. Daisuke did his best to match his grip, almost squeezing too hard. Swansea motioned with a nod to your luggage still on Daisuke’s person, along with the gifts in his arms.

“What this? Nothing I can’t handle,” your boyfriend replied, almost smugly. “These are actually for you. Well, and your wife.”

“I think we’re gonna go take my stuff upstairs,” you butt in, looking between the two with a slightly worried expression.

“All right then. Your mom’ll be home soon, dinner’s on in fifteen. I’m makin’ paella.” Swansea turned around with a skeptical look. “Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect. Thank you, dad!”

-

Once the two of you were upstairs, it became incredibly clear that Daisuke’s anxiety had intensified greatly. As the two of you walked through the threshold into your room, he let out a quiet sigh —both out of relief and distress. Over the semester, your room had become closer to a memory and now, as you returned to it exactly as you had left it, it had become an almost nostalgic sight. It was exactly as Daisuke had imagined. The pale blue walls were littered with band posters and pictures of you with friends from high school. You had everything you’d expect in a student’s room. In one corner, snugged away and smothered in soft blankets and pillows, was a full-sized bed. In another were a mismatched desk and dresser. Daisuke could easily see you sitting at that desk, engaging with one of your many hobbies or finishing up some assignments. The visual managed to make a small smile creep onto his lips, but it faltered quickly when he heard Swansea on the phone with your mother just downstairs.

“He hates me, I can already tell,” Daisuke said. He carefully set down your luggage as well as the gifts, tucking them away nicely on your desk.

“You don’t know that. My dad’s just like that with everyone at first, but he always warms up eventually. I promise.” You sat on your bed, pulling your shoes from your feet and tossing them in different directions.

To keep himself from pacing, Daisuke took a seat beside you before flopping back into the comforter. The plush blanket quickly engulfed him as he rested an arm over his eyes. With a little laugh, you laid down on your side next to him, caressing his face with your hand. It felt soft against his skin as you cupped his cheek. His arm fell back to his side as he leaned into your touch, letting out a content sigh at the comfort that alone brought him. His eyes trailed over your face with that same lovesick adoration he normally harbored while looking at you —a stare that said more than he ever could with words. He knew he would never get tired of looking at you. 

“It’s going to be okay,” you finally said, pressing your forehead against his. “I love you.”

His eyes fluttered shut as he tried to melt into you. Like it was second nature, Daisuke tilted his head ever so slightly to the side and closed the gap between the two of you. Sparks of electricity tingled against your lips as he kissed you softly. Abandoning their posts, his hands found their proper positions —one on your hip and the other along the back of your neck— and pulled you closer. You couldn’t help but smile against his lips as he kissed you, your chest becoming light at his touch.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, keeping his forehead against yours. “I love you too,” he breathed, sounding far more relaxed than before. “So much.”

His gaze met yours once more, and it looked like he was going in for another kiss. Just as you felt his breath against your cupid’s bow, there was a knock at the door, followed by the sound of Swansea clearing his throat.

“C’mon, get your asses up. I’m makin’ you set the table before your mother gets home. I want it to look nice for her, understood?” Your dad looked between the two of you with that questionable face Daisuke was starting to become accustomed to. He then turned around, shaking his head from side to side.

-

Dinner was a surprisingly quick affair. To nobody’s surprise, Swansea’s paella was a hit —other than a couple of gripes from your mother who had grown sick of the dish. She fell in love with Daisuke from the first second she saw him, and she only loved him more when he got comfortable enough to talk. After everyone was finished eating, Daisuke insisted on helping clean up and he did so happily. While your mom stepped outside to smoke a cigarette, Swansea, Daisuke, and you sat in the living room as your dad began to open his gift.

Swansea tore into the wrapping paper, eyes going wide when he saw the brightly colored shoebox beneath. He looked up from the present in his hands, and his gaze fell to Daisuke with an expression of pure disbelief.

“Son, I-” he started before promptly getting cut off by you.

“Just open it, dad.”

Daisuke shifted beside you as Swansea discarded the rest of the wrapping paper. He leaned forward, elbows resting on either of his knees as he bit at his lower lip. Swansea ran his hand along the top of the box and slowly opened it. After lifting the tissue paper and getting a proper look at the sneakers underneath, Swansea turned to your boyfriend again.

“These aren’t easy to come by. How on earth did you get them?”

“I, uh- well, we camped out for them. [Name] told me you had been checking out a pair online for a while, and I thought I’d save you the effort,” Daisuke responded, running a hand along the back of his neck. “It was totally worth it. I got a super good deal on ‘em and everything.”

“Thank you.” Your dad just nodded with the faintest smile on his face. Although his words were simple, cut, and dry, it was obvious to you and Daisuke alike that he was truly grateful.

“Of course. I’m really happy you like them,” Daisuke said. He was practically glowing, beaming with pride as he looked from Swansea to you. He mouthed an oblivious ‘hell yeah’ in celebration.

Later that night while you were getting ready for bed, Daisuke ventured down the upstairs hallway toward the bathroom. Along the way, he passed your parents' room. Through the crack in the door, a narrow stream of light illuminated the otherwise darkened hall. Daisuke froze in place as he overheard your mom and Swansea talking from inside.

“So, what did you think of him? He’s just a delight. Isn’t he, hun?” Your mom questioned.

“Who? Daisuke?” Swansea replied. The springs within the mattress groaned as he eased himself into bed. “The boy seems like a good man. I like him for her. She needs someone who’ll help her loosen up. Poor girl is too damn high-strung.”

Realizing he probably shouldn’t eavesdrop, Daisuke rushed to the bathroom with a look of pride on his face. Your dad liked him. Better yet, Swansea thought he was good for you. That was a better gift than anything he could have hoped for.

[bigbootyshortboi]

(Prologue) Stinky Showoff

(I will continue Andy at some point, I promise! I just wanted to do something different today, and this is one of my fav gifs, sooooo... time to use it!)

(Also, just like last time, idk the person in the gif, mxm fart fetish warning, yadda yadda, was originally gonna be a one shot but I got really invested with lore so now this is gonna be a story LOL)

Honestly, I've lived a pretty good life so far. I finished high school with decent grades, and I still have a few close friends in my life, not many but enough to keep me happy. Started college and got lucky to be roommates with one of those friends, Jacob. Well, partially lucky. I've honestly always had a thing for Jacob, so it's a bit hard living with him when it feels like I'm constantly holding a secret from him, but at the very least at least it's someone I like and not some whack-job so... I'll take it. We've been staying here the whole semester, and nothing crazy has happened, I've been a little distant from him so that I don't accidentally do something stupid, worst cases have been me maybe staring a little too long when he's in his underwear chugging milk at the fridge in the morning, but he usually is too busy gulping it down to notice me staring at his body. The weird thing is... he also seems distant from me, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. Sometimes he seems so excited to catch up with me and talk, but then his face just scrunches up, and he suddenly bolts out as fast as he came. Maybe he senses I like him and just wants to play nice with me so that I don't think he hates me or get my feelings hurt. I wouldn't be surprised. He's always been very sweet with me. I'm honestly the only one in our friend group he never teases... well, at least not meanly. He also used to always carry my lunch for me in high school when I was on cruches (i sprained my ankle at P.E.). Honestly, I think little things like that are why I fell for him, but seeing how he's acted so far in college, it's hard not to feel like he only sees me as a sorta-friend in his inner circle.

On the bright side, we won't have too many more awkward encounters for a bit. With the semester ending today, we're both packing up to go home. I think Jacob said he had plans with Diane and Damien, 2 people in our group of friends, twins to be exact, to head to their "family condo" or something, I don't know I guess they're filthy rich or something and just wanna have a small college vacation. I'm probably just gonna head home and lay in bed for a week, I know my fam is out of town so all I have going for me right now is some alone time at home... or at least, so I thought

riiiiing riiing, riiiiing riiing

I had been silently helping Jacob fold his clothes so he could pack when his phone started ringing on his bed.

"Hey, is it alright if I answer that, I feel bad just making you slave away with my stuff, haha." He gives me a sly smile. He isn't plotting anything he kinda just always has a 'smug' look about him. It's part of his charm.

"Yeah, go ahead." I say, continuing to fold his underwear. God, it's taking way too much willpower to not shove one of these straight into my nose. Sure, they've been washed, but with how much he works out.... god, I need to stop thinking like this. He's my friend, my perverted fantasies can wait for when I'm home alone-

"Yeah, what's up?" I hear Jacob say into his phone. "What about him?... Oh, I didn't know he was coming... well, how was I supposed to know? You never asked me to-.... s-shut up!" I see Jacob blush and look over to me with his last statement, I'm not sure what to make of it, but considering his mannerisms, it's probably Diane. She is the only person who knows how to fluster Jacob, and honestly, it's so fun to watch. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine to see them go at it. "Fine I'll put it on speaker hold on-" I watch Jacob stomp over to me, he stands to my side and puts an arm around my shoulder, relaxed. I tense a bit at his touch, not expecting it, but I don't move. He lifts his phone up infront of us and puts it on speaker, and I hear Diane's voice

"Y'all there?"

"Yeah," Jacob says

"Ty?"

"Y-yeah, I'm here." I say

"Okay, good, so, Ty, I'm assuming you from Jakey about how we're staying at the condo with everyone, right?"

"Well, I heard about you two and Damien staying there, yeah"

I hear her get frustrated on the other end of the line. "Jacob, you SERIOUSLY not only forgot to invite your own roommate, but also failed to even mention the rest of the group was going to be there?"

Jacob's voice gets slightly irritated next to me, I hear him release a breath before speaking. "Dude, how was I supposed to know? All you asked me was if I wanted to come stay with you two during break. I didn't know the whole gang was coming. Also, you never told me I was supposed to talk to Ty."

Diane groans, but then I hear a small chuckle from the line, it sounds like Damien. "To be fair, Jacob." I hear damien speak "She did say pack the essentials" this triggers a laugh and response from Diane "True and we both know there are some things you'd HATE to live without-"

Jacob gets flustered next to me and turns the phone off speaker, putting it to his ear. "Can you two chuckle nuts shut the fuck up" Despite the speaker being turned off, I can hear their laughter blasting out of the speaker on the phone, I can't help but giggle, which causes Jacob's face to get even redder as he grips the phone tighter "Can you two dorks just tell me who all is gonna be there, clearly I didn't get enough of the memo..."

Jacob walks into the bathroom to continue their conversation, and I continue packing for both of us, I guess I'm going on a trip? I never really said yes, but considering all the arguing and the fact I never really got to respond... I kinda have to? I'll talk to Jacob first, though... he seemed kinda upset... I hope he isn't sick of me or something, maybe that's why he never asked me to come.

[30 minutes later]

Jacob walks out of the bathroom, and I hand him his suitcase and backpack. "All done!" I smile up at him proudly, he looks down at the stuff with wide eyes and then looks back at me

"Ty, you didn't have to finish everything for me, you still have your own stuff to do-"

"I already finished it" I interupt him. "Besides, I offered to help in the first place, I really don't mind doing stuff for you."

Jacob just nods at this, clearly grateful. He's never been the best at letting people help him, or saying thank you. I never really noticed it before, but I'm usually the only person he lets help him with stuff.

"Hey, Jacob?"

"What's up?"

I look down at the floor, a little nervous to ask this, "Do you not want me to come?"

"What? Why would you think that?"

"Well, you seemed a little upset and-" before I could continue, I heard a... gurgling sound? Some weird rumbling... i think... i think it came from Jacob's stomach? I see him scrunch his face in the same way he does when he's about to dodge me and go somewhere else

"Look- *gurgle*" i heard him mumble a faint 'damn it' before sighing "Look Ty, I need to go do something real quick, but I promise you I'm okay with you coming, I was just mad at those two doofuses for assuming I'm some sort of psychic. You're my guy, and nothings gonna change that, k?"

I nod "K..." honestly, I'm not convinced. Jacob's not really the type to dodge conflict, but seeing him do his face scrunch and then dodge me once again basically confirms to me he doesn't want me there. He'll probably be too stubborn to admit it, though, so... I'll go. I'll just be sure to not bother him while I'm there, it's the least I can do.

I watch Jacob bolt out of the room and into the hallway. While picking up my own suitcase, I heard a faint rumbling sound outside followed by a yelp of some kind. I hear some dude yelling "EWWWW" and another going "Gnarly!"

It's not hard to tell they're a bunch of bro's. One probably ripped some ass and that was probably the sound I heard, the thought honestly getting me a little hard. That's the one downside with Jacob, I've never heard him rip one. At least Damien and the other guys in our group let loose sometimes. I'd trade not having my fart fantasies fulfilled to be with him any day, though. Considering the trajectory of my life, though, probably not gonna have either.

ppprbrbrbmrmmrmtt

I hear another faint rip, followed by a clapping sound (probably a highfive) and a "You're sick dude." Sounds like the guys who live 2 doors down from us. I bet the rips are way louder up close, it's honestly impressive I can hear it in here. Maybe I should get to know them better next semester... then again, I head both of them react, so it must be one of our other neighbors ripping ass, shame, guess I won't get to meet this awesome blaster.

[15 minutes later]

I hear the door creak back open and see Jacob waltz in and toward me, I go to speak, but I feel his (slightly sweaty) wrap around me first, my face nestled into his chest as he hugs me. He then pulls away and looks down at my blushing face.

"I mean it dude, you're my guy, sorry about that it was an... emergency. But really, I was so excited I got you as a roomie, and I'd love to be able to hang out with you more... I feel like we haven't gotten much of a chance here since we've both been so busy with school, this might be a good chance for us to get comfy together, whaddya say?"

Hearing this made me grin, although I had to contain just how giddy it made me to see how genuine he was being about wanting to hang out more. "I'd say... I'm packed and ready to go! You driving?"

"Pfft, always" he flicks up his keys and starts twirling them around his fingers. "Ready to go?" He lifts up his arm and a wave of his sweat smell lingers to me, I watch as he peck-bounces at me, signaling for a response with that goofy grin on his face, he always pulls shit like this and it always makes me laugh and turns me on at the same time

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ready... stinky ass showoff. "we both chuckle at this. He holds the door open for me, and we both walk out, and as he shuts the door, I can hear him mumble a "You have no idea...'

(The way I was originally gonna have this just be mostly farts and like a one-day thing, and then suddenly, I created an entire narrative in my head- like OOPS, lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading. There will DEFINITELY be more of both AndyxReader and JacobxTy in the future, and I'm both nervous and excited to continue writing LOL. One day, I'll figure out how to do a little to no narrative story and just let the men rip in peace trust)

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon

Slasher!Josuke with Nerdy Darling? (Based off Scream)

Darling is a Horror Movie Fanatic, as she’s seen them all, from B Films, Foreign, Classics, Silents and the more Recent ones

Reader comes off as a Geek, but she doesn’t really care if people like her or not (She even works part time at the local Video Store) she’s kinda a loner as she has no friends at school

Reader is sorta based off Randy (I loved him in the Scream Movies and was upset that he was killed off in the Sequel) as she takes pride in her Horror Movie knowledge

If Darling has a Stand, maybe it’s called ‘Mortician’ (Based of the Band known for their songs based off Horror Movies) maybe she affects her surroundings like a movie based upon the 3 simple rules she makes? (If you break the rules you get injured or attacked, but if you don’t break them nothing happens)

Josuke gets a crush on Darling after they were grouped together for a school project and realized Darling is pretty cool (She even tutors him so his grades don’t slip since she’s a straight A+ student at their high school)

However Josuke noticed Darling only shows interest in Horror Movies and Slashers, so what better way to get the girl of his dreams than by becoming a real life slasher himself?

I’ve been watching Slasher Movies on loop, including delicious plot twists so what if Darling is Kira’s daughter? (She doesn’t know about his hand fetish or about him being a serial killer) She doesn’t have interest being in the spotlight like her dad (This can be scrapped if you want)

Ooh this is so interesting I had to start writing. I ended up writing a prologue.

I'm going to set the main part of the story a couple of years post DIU (mainly to age up) but the prologue takes place just before with reader being 14/15.

Still thinking about the stand. Possibly being a stand that almost looks like a phone dangle charm on her phone that sometime gives out rules in the form of a text for a set amount of time (anywhere from an hour to 24). It's one of those self destructive stands (not literally but it's always screwing with darling).

Really loved the Kira daughter idea, writing that darling knows and is actively trying to hide it after his "death". In a way she ends up paralleling him with her need to hide it as it previously ruined her life back in marioh cho.

If you have any more ideas please let me know as I am really invested.

(Also an odd fact, my dad's bday is the same as Yoshikage kira's)

Sins of the father prologue

(Yandere Josuke X female Reader)

Warnings: mentioned abortion

You looked at the address you'd written down before knocking on the door. Your lucky your friend had offered up the cover of a sleepover to your grandparents as they'd be furious to find out what you were doing, but you needed closure on the matter.

There was a car in the driveway so you knew he was home so you knocked on the door again. Who exactly? Your father.

You'd never met him in person as from what you knew him and your mother had been at odds over the idea. So the most he did was sign his name on your birth certificate before the relationship had ended. About a year after your mother had visited him to try and rekindle the relationship only to disappear.

You snapped out of your thoughts when the door opened. He was definitely the same man that your mother had stashed photos of.

Blonde hair, blue eyes and sharp features.

He was probably wondering why some random middle schooler was at his door.

“Mr Kira?” You asked.

“Yes, that is me,��� he told you. You looked oddly familiar but he couldn't quite put his finger on as to why. You quickly held out a paper bag, you'd gone to the effort to buy him a castella cake as a sign of good will.

“My name is (Y/n) Kira, I was hoping we could talk” you told him. He took the bag but he had a scrutinizing look.

“Is this about your mother's disappearance? I already told your grandparents all I knew” he asked.

Of course he lied, he simply told them that she'd left his house. In truth she never had but back then the villas hadn't been developed yet so no one was around to discredit his claim. Yet your grandparents had not believed such a claim.

“No, I wanted to meet you” you said and immediately he began to close the door before you wedged your foot between the door and the frame.

“I'm not asking anything of you, after this we can just go our separate ways… I promise” you said, desperation in your tone.

He sighed before opening the door again.

“Just this once, if I ever see you here after I'll call the police” he warned you as he stepped aside to let you in.

You came in and left your shoes on the shoe rack before following him into the living area. You sat down on the cushion behind the low table.

“Tea?” he asked.

“Yes please Mr Kira” you responded with a nod. You looked around as you waited. This was definitely one of the older houses in Morioh cho. tatami mats, sliding doors and hanging lights. Probably made around the 50s/60s like your grandparent's. Most of the houses in the town now were around tenish years old at most.

Soon he brought some cups and a teapot before sitting down himself and pouring the tea.

“So why did come here? I thought your grandparents would have been completely against you coming here?” He asked.

“I found some of my mothers belongings. After reading her diary I was hoping to get your side of the story, if you're comfortable with that?” you told him.

“Well I suppose you should know” he said with a sigh. Your gaze was just like hers and a small part of him was terrified by that, that dead woman's stare haunted him.

You rummaged through your school bag before grabbing out a piece of paper full of questions you jotted down.

He told himself to think of this like how he would any other interview. The sooner he answers your questions the sooner you'd leave.

“So first off, mom wrote down that you two were in the same homeroom in highschool when you two met” you said.

“Yes, she was seated next to me. I hadn't realized she'd had feelings for me til Valentine's day” he told you.

“Why'd you accept?” You asked. Now that was a hard question to answer. He'd been shaken after killing Reimi, a girl from the same school. He'd tried to keep his urges in check. After your mother had confessed her feelings to him he believed that if he'd had a partner maybe he'd have no need to ever do it again and she happened to have a lovely pair of hands. His eyes couldn't help but drift to yours. They were quite pretty too, he noticed the light polish on them and spoke up.

“I thought the schools had a no polish policy” he told you. You rolled your eyes, you'd painted such a similar shade to your skin hoping no one would notice.

For a while you continued to ask him questions. Until you inevitably asked why he and your mother broke up.

Another tough question, he had many reasons. He'd realized that his plan to keep his desires in check wasn't working, not to mention your mother's pregnancy had caused issues. He'd swore up and down he'd worn protection. At first he believed your mother had cheated but that was disproven. He never heard the end of it when his mother found out. She believed her son wouldn't have ever done something like that and demanded your mother have an abortion if true. In truth he'd silently wished for the same but your mother was headstrong and was determined to keep the child.

Eventually he'd decided to break up with her and at least fill out the birth certificate but that was it.

“It was complicated, in honesty my feelings for her washed away and when we found out she was pregnant, both our families had a feud over it. We decided it was best that I wouldn't be in the picture… I also wasn't ready for a child in my life” he explained, his eyes gazing upon his tea.

“Thank you Mr Kira” you thanked him, you knew these were hard questions so you appreciated that he gave you the answers. At this point he couldn't help but have questions of his own, as he couldn't quite figure out what type of person you were.

“May I ask you a few questions of my own? nothing too personal” he asked.

“Of course, it's only fair after all that I've asked you”

“What after-school club are you in?” That was probably the best way to gauge the person you were.

“Oh I'm in a book club” you replied, that was the same club he'd been in when he was younger.

“You like to read?” He asked.

“Kinda, in truth it was the only club that gave me privacy. My media interests are more on movies but reading the original sources are always fun” you confessed.

“Any plans after highschool?” He asked.

“I'm not entirely sure, I do want to do university but I'm unsure of what course to take” you told him with a sigh.

“You'll figure it out in time, I only decided what I was going to do during my last year” he told you.

It wasn't long after that you left. To go to your friend's to watch movies over the weekend. They had a large collection of horror movies that your grandparents would never allow you to watch.

Unfortunately your life would never be the same after your father's true nature became public news. Forcing you and your grandparents to have to start a new life away from Marioh cho.

[kimberleysong]

OK TIME FOR DOKI DOKI VILLAINOUS CLUB RAMBLES✨(idea by @enigmatic-prismatic ) ok disclaimer I don't personaly play/watch Doki Doki thoroughly I've only seen lil bit of their personality and bit of spoiler

Maxwell-monika

Well I imagine he be the leader with his charms✨ so it'll be easy to gather around member and stuff

Error-sayori

They're the only villain who's like you know sorta happy go lucky?? If ya know what I mean- when I first saw error I didn't even know theyre a villain- they're just so adorable jajaj

Courro-natsuki

No reason- I wanna make courro a flipping tsudere man just cause XD it'll be interesting ngl

Mag-yuri

Man.... QUIET NERD GUYY🫵✨ man even though I didn't know ddlc much but when I first saw Yuri I love her man- jajaj

@angelfandomfan @darkkara @meowstival

[cosmiischillin]

I feel like this is silly but this came to mind and it’s the Gloomsquad’s favorite animals

Ruby: Cats. She is totally not bias. Not at all. This isn’t because she owns a cat. She also just finds them playful and misunderstood by people who think cats are little jerks or signs of bad luck. Plus Doom is always around her.

Skull: Personally he is fond of birds due to the fact that non-monster ones can still be just as intelligent as humans. On the other hand, he can be iffy when it comes to monster birds like Poe and his brothers.

Misery: Rabbits. Sorta ironic with the whole lucky rabbits thing and the fact she is a sentient bad luck magnet. She collects dust bunnies because of it too. There’s only one she doesn’t like and kept his pink foot as a personal good luck charm.

Iris: They love bugs. Totally not because she owns a gigantic pet worm turned moth. They would do the most not to kill one when they get in the mansion. One time they took care of a praying mantis named Lilith that they set out into the wild.

Jackie: Dogs. Not only does she own a garden full of Pumpkin Puppies but she sees them as great guardians and protectors. She gives all of her puppies names too and accepts all of the puppy piles.

Frank: Ferrets. He thinks of them as long furry noodles. Honestly all furry noodles are his favorite including otters, weasels, and minks. He didn’t really grow up with pets so seeing fur noodles fill him with seratonin. Though he would get a hedgehog because he calls them squished spiky ferrets.

Len: Rats. They remind him of little punks and troublemakers. He also finds the memes of them dressed up funny. He can emphasize with lab rats seeing as his whole family began as an experiment. His love of rats will extend to opossums too.

Halo: She would say she loves all animals. Some include Sheep, Koalas, Manatees, Snakes (Specifically the Ball Python), Lemon Sharks, and Red Pandas. Basically, it’s too overwhelming for her to pick only one.

[z0mibite]

being lukes personal cheerleader —

sorta kinda not really implied fem!reader but not explicitly stated, reader wears a skirt, implied that he can pick reader up, pda, couple NSFW hc at the bottom. really messy, I did this in under 15 min

Wearing his jersey 24/7, he literally buys you five pairs just so you can wear it everyday

Sitting in during practice and training, Pilar only allows it to appese Luke, of course, much to the dismay of Stuart and the other team members.

Will jog over to you for a quick kiss

Laughs when Stuart yells at him to get back to training

Eating lunch with him in the lunchroom

Prefers to have you sit next to him rather than across from him

Will tease you by offering you some of the food on his fork, just to down it at the last second.

PDA GALORE

He shows you off partly because his people say it's good publicity, party because he loves making others jealous.

Almost zero privacy, he is Luke Davenport

Obviously you go to the games

He makes sure you have floor seats so he can steal a kiss when halftime is called.

He'll pull you out of your seat after he's won so you can go to the back with him

Calls you his lucky charm

Will protect you from the paparazzi

Gets beyond angry when they get to pushy/aggressive with you around

He will break a camera if they lay a hand on you

NSFW below the line

The skirt stays on

It fuels his ego to see his team colors on your body when he fucks you

Loves recording you on your knees for him

Will 100% fuck you in the locker room if he ever gets benched

Angry sex (not hate sex)

Will give you a gentle slap on the ass as you walk by him

Doesn't care if people stare as he borderline makes out with you in public

He's not openly jealous, but he will make you scream for him with his teammates in the next hotel room over if they try anything.

[nonaonann]

Giving Some of my own Traits (and one of my siblings') to These Dorks Just cuz:

Dick Grayson

Has the urge to grab/buy anything blue (it's like a crow instantly getting their interest piqued by something shiny).

Puts Nesquik strawberry syrup and Nesquik banana milk powder into Fruity Pebbels, Lucky Charms, etc.

Will pour ungodly amounts of sugar into Cheerios and corn flakes (one of my little siblings does this and it's horrifying to watch).

Will unironically say "diddly darn" and "frickity frick frack".

.

Jason Todd

Has an insecurity about cartwheels (Dick told him to do one when he was still Robin, and then laughed at him, and Jason still doesn't know why).

Prefers to tea to coffee.

Made up his own writing system because he was paranoid of people reading his diary and finding out his secrets (he doesn't have a diary).

.

Cassandra Cain

Has disproportionately small hands (Tim and Steph tease her for it).

Never really looked at herself in the mirror too closely, and then did and realized she has a small collection of really faint freckles on her face (like, you wouldn't be able to see them unless you were five inches away from her face).

Will sit in corners in complete darkness, unintentionally (sorta) scaring whoever passes by when they realize she's there.

.

Stephanie Brown

Forgets about her moles, and then sees one and tries to scratch it off before realizing it's a mole and not dirt or something. (Recently discovered she has a mole under her ear.)

Will buy something just because it's purple (she's so like me fr).

Laughs in the middle of panic attacks and just says no to herself in the mirror.

Loves taking candid pictures of her friends and family. (Also the one who people go to take pictures and videos of them for things like social media because she WILL explore those angels and get low to the ground if need be.)

.

Timothy Drake

Somehow always gets holes in his socks (and is bullied relentlessly for it by the people who are supposed to be his siblings).

Asks the most random questions. (Once asked, "Do you think if we both simultaneously exploded randomly, our intestines would get tabgled?" while cuddling with someone.)

Found a random hex nut and put a string through it and wears it daily as a necklace.

The person people go to for photos, but in the way people go to JC Penny's for photos.

.

Duke Thomas

Will look at a tree and say, "Bob Ross would so love to paint a tree like that."

Shows movie trailers to his family and then says no when they ask if he wants to see the movie together with them.

Likes to deny the obvious and say something outlandish because he thinks it's funny. ("Are you making waffles?" "No, I'm dancing and seeing visions of scary roosters.")

.

Damian Wayne

Will take a single question about whatever comic he's reading right now as an opportunity to lore dump everything about it, from the first chapter to the most recent.

When he was younger and new to the manor, he would dig up worms and look under rocks for bugs.

He occasionally gets a favorite animal fact and shares it with everyone regardless of if they ask.

[khaosinfo]

the boys of the love house . named mockingly by the students of the elysian field university because every student who has lived there has become corrupted, five students has decided to move in to test this wild rumor. yes, that is the reason. definitely not because student housing is very limited.

eric chase.

faceclaim: danny griffin.

taking up biology, with plans on becoming a doctor.

versatile. he will be a bit uptight going into it, but push the right buttons or get him drunk enough, and he will be your little submissive slut.

eric is a brash control freak who thinks that the world will end if things doesn't go his way. which is sorta understandable once you find out about the high expectations put upon him by his mother since his birth. anthony keeps him in check, much to the relief of their other house members ... and eric's annoyance.

anthony kyle.

faceclaim: gavin leatherwood.

taking up film, with dreams of being the next big movie maker.

would prefer to bottom. but he will top you if you can convince him enough.

anthony is very breezy and friendly, though he can be a bit sassy and sarcastic if you are close enough. which is why it surprises people that he is eric's step-brother. but anthony has attributed his easier personality to his mother ( his real mother, not eric's ) who grew up with a free and artistic heart. he didn't really choose to be his brother's official babysitter. but no one else knows him enough to do it.

hunter heaton.

faceclaim: nico greetham.

taking up fine arts, with dreams of making the best masterpiece.

bottom. non-negotiable. the biggest slut you will ever know.

what's there to not know about hunter heaton? if he tells you that he is an open book, you better believe it's true. because everyone in this goddamn university knows who is he, what he is ... and what could get him to kneel in front of you. "the song of the flesh," he calls it. i would say there is an interesting backstory behind this promiscuous personality ... and you might be right. but that's a story for another day.

harley heaton.

faceclaim: tom holland.

taking up anthropology, with dreams of exploring the world.

versatile. will be happy to be whatever you want him to be. his partner's satisfaction is always a priority.

harley is a lot like his brother, hunter, in some ways, with some saying he's lucky he didn't get the same promiscuity ( haha ). where his brother is an open book, harley is open arms. a friend to everyone, harley has this uncanny ability to charm everyone to his side. many has tried to crack the code of his endearing personality, but no one has truly cracked it. he is just a naturally friendly guy!

henry heaton.

faceclaim: kit connor

taking up creative writing, with dreams of becoming a well-known writer

bottom. his sexual experience is little in comparison to his brothers, but it's in his nature to obey and be eager to learn.

being the youngest of the heaton siblings, henry has always felt like he's playing catch up with his older siblings. always afraid of being left out, always afraid of not being as good as they are. but he is hoping that this would finally change once he is in university. he can finally make someone of himself without being in their shadows.

patrick moreno.

faceclaim: froy gutierrez.

taking up psychology, with dreams of helping people.

versatile. sexual encounters with him requires a certain level of passion and trust. but he will be the best lover you will ever know.

living with four other people who are already related to one another, patrick expected that he will be the odd one out in the house ... which isn't really a bad thing since he likes the quiet and the isolation. but apparently this is a bad thing, according to his housemates, and they have made it their mission to get him outside.

sebastian "bash" harrison.

faceclaim: michael evans behling

taking up music, with dreams of playing for the world.

versatile. his love language is acts of service, and this extends to having sex with him. he will happily fulfill all your wants.

a dear friend of the chase-kyle family, it's quite obvious their impact is on him-- carrying the personality akin to anthony's laid back and friendly attitude, while carrying just as much pressure as eric from his own parents. and the fact that he took up music instead of law like they said, doesn't really help him at all. still, he remains just a chill dude who wants to play music, hoping someday he could do it to a crowd of thousands one day.

[unholycourier]

5, 16, 23, 58, 66 for Quinn!

Sorry this took me a bit!! But thank you for the ask yippeee!! 🥺🥺

5. What is their highest skill? Their lowest?

Quinn is very intelligent despite how he portrays himself, as well as super charismatic, so his highest skills lie within medicine, repair, energy weapons and speech and barter! his lowest skills? explosives and guns. he definitely just never bothered to learn his way with explosives, but with guns he’s just like “well it’s not making everyone within reaching distance explode into ashes. don’t want it.” ( he still carries Lucky for emergencies tho. it’s a pretty gun )

16. What is their biggest regret?

Oddly enough Quinn doesn’t have any big regret, nothing that keeps him up awake at night. The closest he has to a form of regret that he thinks about often is that he try to stand up sooner to what he himself perceives as a “pity party” on Boone’s end when he progressively tells him what happened with his wife and the eventual murder of innocent / harmless civilians, which was information rewarded to him by being nice to the same soldiers he’d killed for supplies.

23. How do they feel about physical touch / affection ?

It’s kinda 50/50 with him. Of course, general touch wise, Quinn is fine with it, but will more often than not push people’s hands off of him since he has some self perseverance skill and would like to not be sucker punched ( not that he suspects everyone wants to punch him, he’s just very enemy-making-prone ). If he knows the person well enough, he doesn’t care otherwise. Affection wise, he wasn’t the most physically affectionate to the men he bed when he was frivolous prior meeting his eventual husband. No reason he wasn’t, he just didn’t care to be given he was there for one thing. The one person he found himself actively seeking touch and affection from, as well as returning the favor to, is his eventual husband.

58. Do they believe in luck? Do they have a good luck charm?

Given he is simultaneously lucky enough to evade death but unlucky enough to sustain at least four different instances of head injuries ( and has a whopping in-game state of 2 luck ), Quinn thinks luck is bogus. Which might be hypocritical of him, given his necklace with nightstalker teeth and sunset sarsaparilla bottle cap is sorta a “lucky charm” for him.

66. Describe their eyes

They’re warm like olive oil and sweet like honey, but still they are sharp however not piercing, inviting onlookers forth like the illusion of an oasis is to a man shriveling of thirst. There is a certain unknown wildness to them.

[theskeleton117]

1. Before they got executed, they went by Osiris, but have since forgotten that along with a lot of stuff before their execution

2. They were already a few hundred years old by that point because lambs live REALLY long in my fic

3. Not very long. They were in a rush to get them executed as quick as possible due to the fact that they do understand how to escape prisons already

4. Plenty of people, actually. They used to be one of Narinder’s 3 companions that he had that would go around with him. The other 2 were Forneus and Ratau. During this they'd mostly take on things that Shamura wouldn't let Narinder do, and Lamb did have to get their hands dirty sometimes

5. A lot of people. None of them were lambs, at least not until they'd be able to get their memory back from then, which may happen in the fic. Instead it's usually cult members. They actually feel responsible for those deaths since most of the cult members that die in the fic are killed

6. Never really thought about this, but I do imagine Lamb did have good parents. Maybe they also had history with the Old Faith too, who knows

7. A small town just off from the big lamb city that most lived in. Far enough away to not be super influenced by the city but still close enough that it wasn't too much trouble to get there

8. They were actually trained by Shamura, and more notably, Narinder, how to fight in both their respective ways. Narinder fights a bit more unorthodox-ly than Shamura so that's why I add that little extra part. And also ofc they were together for longer

9. They were caught wrecking an Old Faith city (Although they never took down any civilian buildings, which I find very important to mention) and the 4 witnesses were sent to capture them alive

10. Well, Lamb after the execution had a personality switch. Let's just say being put on a pedestal like that gave them a little bit of an inflated ego. In fact, I gave him Ruri as a way to bring him down a notch

11. So, they regenerate like how time lord in doctor who do (look it up if you don't already know) so their notable features change, but their first and my favorite regeneration always had the gauntlets on

12. Once again, this changes due to regeneration, but post regeneration, 6 foot. Despite this, Narinder still calls him short

13. I'd say they kinda have a twink build idk

14. There's actually red in there in every regeneration

15. Depends on the regeneration. Here's an image of the first (credit to @/p4r4n0rmal-exe) for the art

16. No, but the lambs are kinda their own thing, so it's kinda a fictional species

17. Same as you'd use hair for ig

18. Lil bit

19. Nope, although some others who were tortured may have had some of those, but they're usually not supposed to have even been tortured so the lucky ones and Lamb specifically didn't have that

20. Check image in 15

21 & 22: just gonna list off each regeneration's pronouns here since assigned sex with lambs is sorta nonexistent. Pre-execution = They/them. 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th regen = he/they. 3rd regen = she/they

23. So, depends. Not the actual, regular lamb way, since that requires two lambs and doesn't work how regular reproduction systems work, since it's magic based instead of biological, however Lamb does have someone who he sorta considers his daughter (her name is Menta), but that came because one of his exes specifically created something that would allow him to make an artificial life form which he intended to use to kill Lamb, but ofc as you can probably tell, he only got the creation part down, the "having her kill Lamb" part didn't work out. This part of the story could be it's own post so we'll cut it here

24. Menta only ever met Lamb when she was already 15, so she just calls him Lamb

25. Yep! See image on 15

26. So, while it isn't visible, I'd like to think they have a small charm on their neck underneath a layer of clothing throughout their regenerations. Specifically a charm of a cresent moon colored red, as when they were executed, the moon turned red, since that was part of a prophecy (one of many) in my AU, and the red cresent became a symbol of rebellion during the executions

27. Maybe. Not sure on this one

28. Narinder. This is exclusivly pre-execution, as post execution they were too different from pre-execution to be seriously interested Narinder

29. Yep. Ruri fills that spot. She and Lamb met at a festival in an old faith town while Lamb was disguised, and they fell in love over the course of multiple visits. Ruri was also hired as a mercenary to mess with Lamb's cult at the time as she didn't know it was him, and she was masked the whole time too. Eventually everyone's masks came off, and Lamb understood that she was doing what she had to to make a living, letting her stay at the cult

30. So, excluding Ruri and Heket (Both of Lamb's spouses) I'd say it'd be this old wolf follower named Harlan(For now. Still haven't finalized the name). He actually used to be in Ratau's cult before it ended, and now is in Lamb's by Ratau's order

31. So, most of their past has gone forgotten by them due to issues with with Narinder's resurrection process, but I imagine that Lamb has a lot of secrets that he doesn't share with anyone

32. During the beginning of the cult, no. By this point, he's enjoying this too much, barely thinks of the old faith members as people, etc. After Ruri joins, however, he becomes a lot more merciful. She's his reminder that the members of the Old Faith, even the bishops, are more than some heartless creatures to slaughter

33. Depends. He'll mostly be truthful to people he cares about, but early on, depending on the economic state of the cult, he'd be more than willing to scam you out of as much as he needs to keep the cult afloat

34. I'd say it's more quick, but he makes sure to pretend to trust you if he doesn't;. I feel like he generally is able to read people's trustworthiness a bit better than most, but if he senses something off about you, he would not let you know

35. Pre-exectuon would be Narinder’s apprentice, like before. Post execution would be Outlaw, since Darkwood has a lot of those and Lamb really feels like the type

36. Quite the opposite. He's terrible at cooking. Like, burnt the water type bad

37. Anything he can't do or needs multiple people to do he lets them do...like cooking

38. French fries. Feel like that's the best fit for him

39. Yep

40. He asks followers when they join if they're ok with their corpses being used for that in the event that they die during already tough times. Essentially, he rarely practices it, but will do what's needed to keep his cult alive

41. He's only considered it once, but finds it boring, since it's all the pain without the fight that he enjoys. Even more opposed to it after Ruri joins

42. Only if necessary, like if they pose an actual threat to other followers

43. Try to convince them, but will let them leave after a week

44. Favorite would be the gauntlets, which he always has on. Least favorite would probably be the hammer because I imagine it being to unweildy and unnatural to him

45. "I ain't wasting resources on keepin' your dumb ass alive after, but if you want to get sick and die, it's your body" -Lamb if he were ever asked about that by a follower

46. Fall, due to the fact that it's still cold but he doesn't have to deal with snow yet

47. Nah, but he does somewhat like some other warm colors that blend with red

48. He doesn't like it, exactly. He tries to stop it from happening to his followers just for their sakes, but understands death comes for all, even those who are "immortal"

49. Since he can't die to them, he uses all of them, including ones that would normally kill in any dosage

50. Lamb can use the crown to basically make any item he can understand, meaning he can turn it into a revolver type gun, which were rare at the time but still available

50 Lamb Questions

1. Does your lamb go by any name other than The Lamb? If so, what?

2. How old was your lamb when they were sacrificed?

3. How long was your lamb held captive by heretics before their sacrifice?

4. Did your lamb kill anyone prior to their first death? If so, who?

5. When your lamb mourns a dead loved one from their past.. who is it?

6. Who raised your lamb?

7. Where was your lamb raised? A village? A prison? Constantly on the run?

8. Did your lamb have any specific skills pre-sacrifice?

9. How or where was your lamb caught?

10. How did your lamb feel with their head on the pedestal? Afraid? Relieved? Angry?

11. Does your lamb have any notable or unique features?

12. How tall is your lamb?

13. Is your lamb petite? Curvy? Fucking jacked?

14. Is your lamb’s wool pure white?

15. How does your lamb prefer to keep their wool? Short and shorn neat? Wild and untrimmed? Be honest are there branches in that bitch?

16. Do you base your lamb on any specific species of sheep? If so, which?

17. Do they use their own wool for anything?

18. On a scale of one to ten how floppy are their ears?

19. Do they bear any traits of forced domestication? Is their tail docked? Was their ear tagged? Do they have scars from being shorn (and nicked) against their will? Were they ever painted with or assigned a number rather than a name?

20. What do their horns look like?

21. Was your lamb born male, female, intersex, or do you have no opinion on their sex at birth?

22. Does your lamb use pronouns other than they/them? If so, which ones!

23. Are they capable of having children and would they want to have children?

24. If they were to be a parent or are, what epithet would they have their child use? Mom? Mama? Dad? Baba? Nony? Abba?

25. Do they wear something other than the canon cloak?

26. Does your lamb wear jewelry or makeup?

27. Is your lamb flirtatious?

28. Did your lamb have any partners pre-sacrifice?

29. Did your lamb take any followers as a partner?

30. Who is your lamb’s second in command or closest follower?

31. Is your lamb ever honest about their feelings or past? With who?

32. Is your lamb merciful? Did they ever refuse to spare someone? If so, why?

33. Is your lamb trustworthy?

34. Is your lamb quick or slow to trust others?

35. If your lamb could pick a cult job other than leader what would it be?

36. Is your lamb a good cook?

37. Does your lamb let cult members cook or heal or do they restrict them from certain duties?

38. What is your lamb’s favorite food or dish?

39. Does your lamb eat meat/fish/eggs?

40. What is your lamb’s stance on cannibalism?

41. What about their stance on torture?

42. Would your lamb ever kill a cult member?

43. How does your lamb deal with dissenters?

44. What is your lamb’s favorite weapon? Their least favorite?

45. Would they ever let a follower embrace their dark desire to eat poop?

46. What is your lamb’s favorite season?

47. Is your lamb’s favorite color something other than red?

48. How does your lamb really feel about death?

49. Does your lamb use substances? Are substance banned from cult grounds?

50. Freebie! Tell us any headcanon you want!

[silverskyy]

4, 6, 7, 8, 25, and 30!

Thanks! Taking inspiration from you, I will be answering these both for my Tav Robin and my Durge Woe. Looking over everything I wrote here good god I cannot and will not shut up, thank you I'm advance for your patience as I ramble. For everyone's sake here's a readmore

4: If your Tav was a companion, where would they be found?

Robin is a city kid, grew up in the fancy parts of Baldur's Gate, doesn't hate nature but has had basically no experience with it either. So this whole "finding yourself stranded in the wilderness" thing is, uh, Not Ideal. You would come across her in the area by the ruins above the ancient crypt with Withers, specifically in the twisting vines. Her foot is trapped and she's trying to cut herself free without getting her hands caught too. It’s clearly not going well—the voice lines you hear as you approach are something like “Come on…damn it no!” and “You're lucky I never learned to conjure fire” and “Mystra give me patience”.

For Woe I am literally writing a fic with my partner's OC as Tav that includes companion Durge Woe, so I can answer for that canon with 100% certainty. You first meet Woe on the Nautiloid during the fight at the helm. They do not join your party at this time and they do not speak with you. They show up during the opening cutscene out of nowhere and bury their fist in a fiend's head—a passive insight check (super low DC) makes clear this person is dangerous and only not attacking you because they saw the fiends first. You can actually get them in your party on the beach where all the dead fishermen are, near Shadowheart. They're examining the corpses but are more present than on the ship and will join you without a fuss if you explain that they're in danger of ceremorphosis, since they don't remember shit about getting infected.

6: What companion are you platonically close with?

Gale is Robin's platonic wizard husband! She aaalmost romanced him, but as a cleric of Mystra finding out he fucked her goddess was just enough of a turn off for Wyll feelings to win out. They are absolutely both nerds about magic together and there was no way in hell she was letting him blow himself up. Her relationship with Gale vs her dedication to Mystra was the biggest part of my RP with her actually—what do you do when the goddess you've devoted your life to is not evil, not worth full repudiation, but is clearly wrong about something important and even admitting that feels like a betrayal of your beliefs? Struggling with that and then doing Shadowheart's quest was rough for Robin let me tell you.

For Woe it's sorta romantic/platonic with Lae'zel. They got to her act 2 romance scene and care about her a lot as a fellow determined fighter. The reason the romance ended was ooc bc I had decided to go with Astarion but the in-game rational was quite strong. Lae'zel's romance progression has her challenging you to a fight. This scene triggered right as Woe was deeply struggling with the fear that they'd lose control and hurt their companions after [redacted for spoilers]. They couldn't risk that happening to her and turned her down, which ended the romance. Woe felt really bad about it though and tried to be extra nice to her going forward; coincidentally we ran into signs of the gith right after so Woe was fully supportive of going to the creche and Lae'zel's whole deal there, even if that ended poorly too, oops!

7: Romantically close with?

Wyll 😍 This man swept Robin off her feet! We met him with the tiefling children and I knew right away she had a crush. She's a romantic too (although she did have sex with Astarion and Lae'zel bc they asked and she was a little caught up in being popular for once) so his whole deal kept charming her over and over. The hardest parts of their relationship were her trying to convince him to put himself first—we broke his pact with Mizora and had him become the blade of avernus—even when it would hurt her. Did she want him to settle down in Baldur's Gate with her post-game? Absolutely! Did she recognize that, at least for now, that wasn't the type of life he wanted? Also yes. So he's mostly off in the Hells with Karlach, she occasionally goes with them to fuck up devils, and even though they aren't together all the time they make it work.

Also just gotta say my piece about how I'm a little salty the Baldur's Gate noble background doesn't give you any sort of extra something with Wyll. His leaving had to have been a big deal, at least for the nobility! But even if just in my head I think they ran in the same circles when they were younger. It was many years ago and they weren't friends or anything so she doesn't recognize him off the bat, but there's an aura she's drawn to and when his name was revealed she fully was like Wyll Ravengard??? (also now this is just me musing but Robin is transfem and didn't start to transition until relatively recently so that could be why Wyll wouldn't recognize her either 🤔)

We've chatted a bit about Woe's romance already but there's always more to say! Woe romanced Astarion, but before there were any feelings involved he was just their murder/fuck buddy. The biting was sexy, he acknowledged the fucked up nature of their Urge, and he could kill really good—a perfect match. They really didn't have more intimate feelings until act 2 (regardless of Astarion trying to prompt that earlier) and by then...act 2 was an extremely hard time for Woe due to [redacted for spoilers] and they weren't in a place to delve into all that for a while. Once the two of them got together for real though they were so stupid 😆 I said it before—two middle schoolers in their first relationship. I haven't actually finished my Durge run so I can't say how they handle Astarion's personal quest or how things shake out post-canon but I doubt they'd encourage him to ascend and I hope they manage to make it a mature, lasting relationship.

8: who are they suspicious of?

For companions, not really anybody for Robin? To be suspicious of Astarion implies it wasn't obvious he was bad news from the start (they became friends eventually but come on, the man tried to attack her). And her relationship with Shadowheart was strained for a while, but Robin tried to be diplomatic about the Shar stuff. There are bigger things to worry about than your companion's distressing politics when you're relying on each other to stay alive.

As for NPCs, Robin actually wasn't suspicious of the Emperor...until act 3. I distinctly remember her opinion turning when he offered the astral tadpole, like there was a specific line where she thought "oh, you genuinely think being an illithid is inherently better and don't have the perspective to understand why I disagree". Even then she wasn't suspicious per se, she had a good faith reading of his support so far, but then throughout act 3 he got so blatantly manipulative that her opinion soured quickly. The only tricksy NPC Robin was suspicious of from the jump was Auntie Ethel. I didn't know anything about her so this was full RP—that lady asked in the Grove if we needed help and Robin went lol no bad vibes here I'm fine actually goodbye!

I don't have a good answer to this for Woe because they weren't suspicious of anyone. Everything was taken at face value with the underlying assumption that even if there did end up being a problem, they were super powerful and could ride it out. "I'm pretty sure I'm unkillable" says the amnesiac murder creature and everyone just has to go along with it. The only reason the Emperor didn't get his tentacles around them more is that first they didn't feel like they needed him (unkillable!) and later they hate being manipulated, so getting a whiff of that vibe from him ended things Immediately.

25: What arcana major best represents your Tav?

Basically all of my tarot knowledge comes from the persona games lol, so I did have to go to a website and research. I couldn't narrow it down to just one so we have a trifecta for each!

Robin is Strength, Justice, and the Star. Strength because she found out over the course of the game that she is a brave, determined, confident person. No matter how tough the journey got she never lost her belief in the party and their abilities. Plus she always tried to engage with people with good faith and compassion. Justice because she believes in being honest and taking responsibility for your actions. When I play a not actively shitty noble character I often incorporate their valuing bearing the weight of your choices. If you have power then you shouldn't hide from consequences, good or bad. Robin definitely holds that—she would approve of promising Nettie you'd take the poison. And then the Star because again she stayed positive and as a cleric I had to include something about faith and rejuvenation. She wants people to do better, she wants to heal, and she believes in the good of the world. Yes there is a lot of bad too, but if you look you can find hope.

Woe is the Hierophant in reverse, Death, and the Tower. As a group these give a sense of change, rebellion, upheaval. Woe's story (as is true I suspect for a lot of Resist durges) is about completely losing who they were via betrayal, throwing away the parts of that life that no longer serve them, and creating something new from the rubble. Even putting aside the murder connotations, Death in particular is just...obvious.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Tav?

I'm a mechanics nut so in that sense for Robin it's the Knowledge domain proficiency bullshit she could do. At base she had proficiency in every int skill except for investigation and nature (just bc she's part wood elf she's supposed to know trees??), plus expertise in arcana and religion and also proficiency in medicine as wisdom knowledge skill. And then for a channel divinity she could gain proficiency in all skills of an ability of her choice. She could know and do all the things!

As a character, it's backwards but I really liked her struggles with faith and how unresolved it all was. It was so interesting to play in the spaces around what the game gave me to see her repeatedly pushing down any feelings of disquiet because she couldn't afford to explore them. For example, you can have Gale pray to and get an audience with Mystra at the Stormshore Tabernacle, with no acknowledgement of if you're playing a religious Mystra PC. Robin had to sit there as her goddess completely ignored her in favor of giving a quest to her ex boyfriend who she had told to kill himself. It hurt, immensely, and she decided to not think about it because what could she even do? Idk I just enjoyed seeing the vulnerable side to this positive, caring, genuinely fairly stable and confident person.

For Woe I adore the shadow monk teleportation + mobility + cull the weak combo for running around murdering people nonsense. And then slow fall (modded to be like it is in DND where there's no damage) plus a ridiculous movement speed meant they can jump stupid far. Playing them is so deeply satisfying on a mechanical level.

As a character I love their determination and bullheadedness. They spent act 1 into act 2 flipping the middle finger to what they saw as the former occupant of their body, you snooze you lose bitch, my time now🖕 They eventually came to see their past as part of themself, but then the middle finger just turned to Sceleritas and Bhaal. And then also, they have the ego of a cult leader but not the pride? They'll lick a spider, they'll bite off a toe, they'll run around doing stupid shit, utterly convinced they're the most powerful and important person in the room. It made it so easy to justify non-optimal decisions because absolutely Woe would do that! They'll do anything if it strikes their interest or they're angry about it!

If folks want to ask more questions here they are!

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #46: “Lucky” | April 5, 2010 - 12:30AM | S05E06

We start this one off with a Kids Break. This time the kids are fully gothed-out. Tim’s trouble is that his father lost his job and now he resorts to eating his boogers as a meal replacement. This is especially disgusting and off-putting, so much so that when I watched this episode in VLC I bolted out of my chair to turn it off when the episode looped and this played for a second time. There might be worse Kid Breaks, but there also might not be. Hard to say! 

This one is one of my least favorite wraparounds: Tim has a “Musky Tusk” Necklace, which supposedly gives him good luck. You have to rub dead animals on it to activate it’s charms. They sorta dash this one off, being very disrespectful to their viewers. Hell, I got high for this one and not even that made me do smiles. They did get Ron Lynch to do a voice-over for a Musky Tusk pitch, which is the strongest part of the whole wraparound. I have a mild respect for them cutting to the closing credits early, but Space Ghost already did that, son. I hate how this one ends! 

Okay, sketches now. A sketch about Pierre using “dream cream”, a topical ointment you apply to your torso so you can have wonderful dreams. Pierre dreams that he’s hanging out with a beautiful boy and his dad. They have a cookout, where Pierre is slightly flirty with both of them. He only vocalizes his attraction to the dad, though. In one fairly dicey scene, Pierre hand feeds the boy various meats, including a hot dog. He’s also really pleased with the internet situation while looking at “sites for dads”, murmuring “megabytes per second must be in the billions!” Pierre’s dream eventually turns out to be a nightmare after the cream gets into his mouth, which you’re not supposed to let happen. 

This sketch actually wound up being a headache for Tim & Eric. The suggestively creepy things going on between Pierre and the boy in particular are a little squirmy. I always took the humor to simply be about Pierre being mindlessly inappropriate, and I don’t think the joke is supposed to be that he’s definitely a pedophile. He’s attracted to boys because it means a dad is nearby. That’s my take, anyway. But having a child present during a pseudo-sexual encounter is pretty eyebrow-raising.

This episode was actually briefly withdrawn from repeats because, I believe, the child actor’s parents weren’t pleased with the final sketch. I remember I actually attended an Adult Swim comic-con panel after this aired and somebody asked Tim & Eric why this episode hadn’t been rerun yet. Tim said it had something to do with being sloppy with paperwork, like they didn’t get a release signed properly or something. I vaguely recall Tim being asked about it on Office Hours and him saying something closer to what I’m alleging had happened.

My personal theory is that Tim & Eric were legally in the clear for the sketch, but just didn’t wanna upset the kid’s family and decided the moral thing to do would be to alter the sketch. So, they animated a disgusting-looking cartoon boy over the real kid to erase all traces of the child actor in the sketch. This is the version that is currently in circulation. It appeared on the DVD, and is streaming on Max. I managed to dig up a version originally sourced from Amazon, which apparently had the original cut available in HD for a brief moment. Thank piracy that it still exists.

This came back to haunt them in recent years. Pedo-panic got ramped up with shit like QAnon, and a lot of it was bogus and was wielded as a political tool. Sam Hyde’s fans in particular went after Tim & Eric, pointing towards stuff like this, and Steve Mahanahan’s child clown outlet sketches in particular. I was a fairly regular viewer of Tim Heidecker’s Office Hours, and I actually remember people calling in and trying to put Tim’s feet to the fire about this sketch. At one point one of them accused Tim of molesting his young neighbor; the kid who stabbed him while on drugs during the Tom Goes to the Mayor days. Tim actually hosted a special evening edition of his show to address this, when some Barstool Sports guy tried to pile on Tim and Eric for their child-clown related comedy.

Another recurring sketch: Lucky Duck, where Tim plays a downtrodden simpleton who winds up, through luck, getting minor upgrades during customer service situations. He’s served a large orange juice when he ordered a small, and the waitress lets him keep it. His economy hotel room is unavailable, so he gets upgraded to a regular room which includes a continental breakfast and complimentary orange juice. A very brief, seconds-long snippet of a would-be full-fledged third sketch showing him walking directly into a pool while a glass or orange juice sits in the foreground plays after the credits. This actually was meant to be a full scene, and can be found on the DVD (or on this youtube playlist).

The Lucky Duck bit is hysterical, but, uh, Tim is basically just playing a guy with downs syndrome. It’s extremely evident from his look. I sorta buy into the possibility that it’s almost a mistake. So many of Tim & Eric’s characters bump right up to the definition of being mentally disabled, but rarely do they actually read that way during shallow observation. I can envision Tim concocting this look, being drunk on laughter as it comes together, and that overpowering his sense of decency to not do it (or even think not to do it). Lotta people have been there, bro. I vaguely recall Tim referring to this on Office Hours and kinda tugged his collar as if he got away with something. He’s off scot-free, and I respect it. 

Last but not lease, this episode has the fairly funny Cinco Bro-oche, which is acted by the same company of men who did the eye-tanning sketch from whatever season that was. This one’s a bit of a rehash, in that all the same convoluted procedures for that are also required for this. It also involves installing a screw hole directly into your torso to screw the Bro-oche into. I do think this is the maybe the strongest version of this sketch. Such a pleasingly dumb concept, and little touches like calling the peace sign “the peace signal” really make me smile. 

Aside from the too-gross Kids Break, and the very lame wraparounds, this one has a lotta good in it. Lucky Duck and the Bro-Oche in particular are well-crafted, with the Dream Cream bit being a little sloppy, but with a lotta funny moments. That wraparound though is a Musky Bust.

MAIL BAG

I have to respectfully but strongly disagree with you about the Space Ghost room half episode. I thought it was hilarious and a much needed step up from the Gametap schlock. I loved everyone understandably hating the movie

I forgive you for disagreeing with me. I think I oversold my dislike of those bumpers. I liked 'em fine, really, and I wasn't being very generous by saying they were merely a cut above the GameTap episodes. They just didn't match my memories of the first time seeing them. It's more like splitting the difference between Gametap and an average episode of Coast to Coast. Plenty to like!

[void-tiger]

When you turn over an idea, an idea you’ve nurtured although you’ve seriously struggled with it for a long, long time, and consider cutting it loose because maybe the struggle just isn’t working.

But, then you realize it isn’t just a Self Indulgance, you really have woven it into the crux of Everything. It’s a linch pin.

And so you keep it.

[bigdumbbambieyes]

if your still doing the ask thing,

Disney! 🕊️🕊️

Billy wakes up early, as usual, and rolls over to press a couple kisses to Steve’s back and shoulders lazily, murmuring a soft ‘good morning’ against warm skin. The sleepy mumble that almost sounds like ‘morning’ he receives in reply makes him smile.

Steve’s never been a morning person and it’s as endearing as it is annoying - because Billy loves cuddling his sleep-warm boyfriend at dawn but he hates having to get the pretty boy out of bed when Steve has an early shift because he takes his sweet time getting out from under the covers. He’s grumpy as all hell the entire time, too.

Today, though, Steve has nowhere to be so Billy cuddles him for a few moments more before crawling out of bed to get his day started.

What he doesn’t expect when he opens their bedroom door and makes his way to the kitchen is El sitting at the table eating cereal.

Stopping at the entryway, Billy double-checks the time and yeah, it’s just after seven in the morning.

She smiles tight-lipped at him, her mouth probably stuffed with Lucky Charms, and he gives her a small smile back.

“You’re up early,” he hums, going over to the coffee machine.

“Mhm,” El hums in acknowledgement, stirring her breakfast around in her bowl, “Too excited to sleep.”

“That so?” He smirks, because Max had promised her girlfriend that the four of them would spend the day at Disneyland and El’s face had lit up like a Christmas tree when she found out they’d be going.

Tomorrow, that is. So, why El is up at the asscrack of dawn today makes no sense, but Billy’s happy for the company. El and Max are staying for a couple more days before they head back to Chicago.

And while the early morning departure they’ll have to make tomorrow will surely kill Steve and Max, it helps that he and Steve have a place in California now - even if the park is a road trip away. It’ll be worth it to see Steve and El’s reaction, though.

And, Billy’s also kinda excited. A little. He’s never been, either. Max had gone when she was younger but doesn’t remember much, so it’s sorta new for all of them.

“Why are you up early?” El asks, breaking him from his thoughts.

He shrugs as he measures out the tablespoons of coffee, dumping them into a filter afterwards, “I’m a morning person. I always get up this early.”

She hums thoughtfully before asking, “Wanna watch a movie?”

And he glances over his shoulder at her, lifting a brow, “Let me guess - something Disney?”

“It only makes sense!” She beams, bright and happy, and who is Billy to deny her anything?

Later that morning, when Steve finally makes his way out of the bedroom, his hair a mess and sleep lines pressed to his skin, he finds the three of them huddled up on the couch watching Sleeping Beauty.

He rolls his eyes with a smile as the girls say ‘good afternoon Princess Aurora’ in annoyingly perfect unison, stifling a yawn behind his hand as he shuffles over to the coffee machine.

Unable to help himself, Billy gets up from his spot to follow his boyfriend into the kitchen, giving Steve a proper good morning with a kiss and an offer to make him breakfast.

[moemoemammon]

So bear with me. MC sleeps like a rock. A bomb could go off next to them, and they don't wake up. Now, add shallow breathing, and they look like a corpse. You could mistake them for a corpse if you don't check their pulse.

How would the brothers (+ datables if you're not too picky hehe) react to the first time waking them up for school only to think they probably died in their sleep on day one??

Sleeping Like a Corpse!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

Lucifer didn’t think much of you when you arrived, now could he be bothered to personally make sure you peeled yourself out of bed in the morning. So naturally, he sent Mammon to go do it.

But when Mammon came back complaining about how you didn’t budge an inch, big bro realized he’d have to take care of it himself, like usual.

He figured slamming your door open would’ve done the trick, but you remain still. And as much as he wants to drag you out of bed by the ankle, he knows how fragile humans can be. He opts for giving you a vigorous shake, and.... you don’t budge.

He calls your name, nothing. He literally pulls you upright by the shoulders and jostles you around like a protein shaker bottle, but you don’t move, and- wait... are you breathing? MAMMOOOOOO-

“Haaah... It’s your first morning with us, and you’re already causing me trouble. If it weren’t for the warmth of your skin, I’d have thought you were dead. Perhaps I should give you an enchanted alarm clock, if you prove to be this difficult to wake every morning.”

Mammon

Tch, he seriously didn’t get why THE Great Mammon had to do this sorta grunt work! Why should he have to make sure a lousy human gets up for school? It’s not like he’s their babysitter! but we all know he’s a p*ssy so he’s not gonna say that out loud

But that means he’s gonna make sure you know how irritated he is! Mammon bursts into your room, calling you a ‘stinkin’ human’ at the top of his lungs, and... you don’t move a muscle. So his next step is to stomp over and rip your blankets off, and..... you still don’t move.

What the hell? It’s like trying to wake up Belphie! He leans in to try to smack you awake, when he finally notices how it...kinda...looks like you aren’t breathing.

Wait. Wait wait wait-! SURE he didn’t feel like having to watch you, but that didn’t mean he wanted you to die on the first night! Lucifer was gonna KILL him-! Did you die of fright or something?! He didn’t really mean all that stuff he said about eating you, you know?! Hey, snap out of it-!

“What the- You’re ALIVE?! I thought you died in your sleep, dammit! TCH! What’s the big idea, playin’ dead like that?! Ya tryin’ to get me in trouble?!” “-N-no I wasn’t worried about ya!”

Leviathan

Why does HE have to wake you up..? Sure, he has to go to school today anyway for the student council meeting, but what does that have to do with a human..? Couldn’t Lucifer have asked ANYONE else..?

Beyond annoyed when he enters your room. What’s he supposed to do?? Shake you?? Hit you with something???? Levi opts for awkwardly poking your side, and noticing how you don’t react. Great. Ugh... this sucked....

He tries again, then pokes the back of your head, tugs your sleeve, shakes your arm... then you roll over from the movement and he nearly has a heart attack. Not only because you surprised him, but because you.. wait, did you die?!

Stuck between “LMAOOOO ROFLMAO the human died on their first night! What a noob! #fail!” and “KDAKLFHLDSJFKL OH NO HELLO?????”

“WH- Ahhh... I thought you were dead. You know how long Lucifer would've lectured if if you died, right? He'd be so mad, i bet he'd even confiscate my D.D.D.! Normies like you are nothing but trouble. This is why a human shouldn't even be here..."

Satan

What a chore... This felt like more of a punishment than anything, and Satan hadn’t even done anything yet. Unless Lucifer already discovered the ink he dripped into his shampoo? Either way, he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in you.

But seeing as he got to hang around you in your most vulnerable state, wouldn’t it be funny if he put a curse on you? He was sure that whatever he chose would become a headache for Lucifer in some way, so the possibilities were endless.

Temporary blindness, backwards speech, rainbow colored skin, extreme bad luck, he didn’t know what to choose! Ah, and there were a few curses he wanted to use on Lucifer that needed to be tested out, so why not experiment on you?

He had plenty of time to pick the perfect one and- ah. Were you.. dead? Did someone beat him to the punch?

“Ah, so you’re alive after all. And here I thought I could harass Lucifer with knowing his human had died in their sleep. Well, it’ll have to wait, I guess...I was really looking forward to the expression on his face...”

Asmo

What? Lucifer was ACTUALLY letting him go in the cute little human’s room, completely unsupervised? What a bold move, dearest big brother~! There’s no way he’d pass up the chance to take a peek at your sleeping face! You were pretty cute, but he’d like to see if you were worth his attention.

That being said, Asmo creeps into your room like a sneaky toddler, and doesn’t hesitate to grab your shoulder and roll you over to get a good look at your sleeping face. Hmm... Not bad! 

So with that, he hops right into your bed unannounced, bouncing you around and giving you that innocent giggle of his. Aren’t you lucky? You get to be woken up by the endlessly charming Asmo-chan~! The first thing you’ll see is his gorgeous face, and you’ll be blessed with the perfect first school day! 

Why, there are hundreds and thousands of demons who wish they were as lucky as you were right now! He’s seen how they’ll fight tooth and nail for a chance to-..... hey, how come you’re not breathing..? Er, he’s not really into that sort of thing...

“Oh thank goodness! I thought you up and died before I had a chance to get to know you! You know how disappointed I’d be, right? Knowing I wasn’t able to explore the cute human living in our house... it’d be a tragedy!”

Beel

Surprisingly, he doesn’t mind that much. Having to go and wake you up reminds him of when Belphie was still around, so it’s familiar and feels kind of nice. What DOESN’T feel nice is that he’s missing valuable time he could be spending inhaling his breakfast, because you won’t wake up.

Hangry Beel enters your room with a bagel in his mouth, so you couldn’t understand what he was saying even if you were awake. Just know he’s calling your name and threatening to eat your breakfast. It’s your loss if you miss out.

Hm... You don’t wake up even after he shakes you, so he’s tempted to just leave. But he knows Lucifer will scold you if he returns downstairs without you, so he’s got to improvise.

It’s fine if he just carries you downstairs, right? He’s just tryin to eat man why can’t you- ...Beel is noticing a distinct lack of breath coming from you when he picks you up. Uhhh

“Oh, you aren’t dead. I was going to ask Lucifer if we could have you for breakfast too, but I guess that’s not an option anymore. He says hurry up and get dressed, and that you should give me your breakfast. Bye.”

Belphie

He’s in the attic, so same lmao.

Twins! Still gonna strangle and throw you down the stairs in the future tho

Couple goals amirite?