#it's some premium bullshit

[see-arcane]

I want an animated Draula partially because animation elevates the "brooding in the dark fog under the lamplight/moon/rain". Which is something that Jack Seward does and I want to see that man brood on the asylum rooftops in his dark coat and the wet cobbled streets and hunching over his lancet and chloral, while monologuing about the bleakness of life and of fleeting hope and loneliness leading him to cruelty and how hateful returning home is to him and pondering what would make him not avoid the pit of hell and of the madness inherent in mankind. NOT Dracula. STOP stealing his thing and giving it to Dracula (my telekenisis blasts everything across the room)

Sadly yet another case of 'Dracula is only such a #cool character in pop culture because HE KEEPS BEING GIVEN ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS' INTERESTING TRAITS'

[inexplicably-spookified]

so true tumblr ads putting straight up porn on my feed

[navvigating]

has anyone else been getting jumpscared by random ad audio while scrolling through tumblr app? i dont even see the video, just the audio comes and stops my heart for a second

[snowflop]

lord forgive me for what I must do *starts reinstalling feh*

[ashitomarisu]

Dumbass me did not realize Spotify updated to play the music video (if available) for almost every song.

So as soon as I hear 36°C, I get nostalgia and emotions from a pre-pandemic time. Then, there's Shuka's most POPULAR song...

(I can handle the song but NEVER ask me to watch the MV ever again).

[comradecowplant]

What the fuck, Geoguessr is fucking completely paywalled now??!? Google maps is 90% of the game, so excuse me if I'm not feeling my usual charitablity for labor compensation of devs. Boo!!!!!!!! 😠😠😠

[seat-safety-switch]

With the ever-present rush towards convenience, so many sit-in restaurants are becoming take-out-only instead. Let's be honest: none of us really want to go outside and talk to people in order to get food. Just flip that app and bingbong® yourself a drunk order of fried treats for only $25 in fees.

Pizza Hut was one of the first to abandon the pull of large square footage, throwing millions of nostalgic red plastic cups into industrial grinders in a mad rush to stop bleeding so much goddamn money all the time. Today, those cups are worth $250 on eBay, so they look pretty stupid now, don't they?

The problem with all this is, in the time of our foreparents, it was real hard to fake the existence of a restaurant. If you went to a Pizza Hut, it was a real-ass physical building. It probably had not been copy-pasted together by a bunch of Taiwanese scam artists using Google Image Search fifteen seconds before you appeared. That was more of a Taco Bell thing. Nowadays, you can't be sure. Computers treat bullshit the same as any other kind of shit, so sometimes you'll be ordering from a completely imaginary restaurant. Feels weird, doesn't it?

As with many other cases in my adult life where I figured out everyone was just faking it, I decided to try and make some quick money. Papa needed a new engine, you see, and Slant Sixes don't exactly grow on trees anymore. With just a couple wonky Excel spreadsheets and a glob of code the size of Upper Tonawanda, I was in business with Switch's Fun-Time Pizza, an entirely non-fictitious restaurant whose address happened to be at the same place as a Pizza Hut.

Folks would pay me money, and then I'd quickly pay Pizza Hut to have a pizza ready by the time the delivery guy rolled up. Nobody seemed to care that the box said the wrong thing, and soon I was collecting fat stacks of money for doing nothing at all, just like the platforms themselves. This went on for a few weeks, fattening my bank account for slaughter. Until the first complaints came in, that is.

Yes, friends: it turned out that the local Pizza Hut had hired someone who wasn't very good at washing their hands. Soon, I was handing out big-time refunds on behalf of a massive international corporation, except I was doing so out of my own ill-gotten profits. My rickety, strung-together bullshit engine made entirely out of spreadsheets and chewing gum simply could not comprehend the idea of a refund, much less one for a weak human phenomenon such as food poisoning. Soon, all the money was gone.

Have I learned something from this whole experience? Yes. The most important thing in food service is to wash your hands thoroughly before (and after!) handling the customer's meat. The second most important thing is to charge at least a hundred percent premium over your supplier, to leave room for little hiccups such as this.

That's way easier to do if you position yourself as an upscale luxury restaurant, such as Lord Switchington of Canterbury's Refined Palate Pizza Parlour For Bourgeois Assholes Only, which will be launching this weekend in the very expensive neighbourhood next to mine. Hopefully their Pizza Hut is a little bit better at keeping the bathroom soap dispenser stocked.

[midnite-c6]

hear me out — nam-gyu is actually soooo icky. i don’t care what anyone tells me. he’s a icky icky man. he’s so fucking mean too. he thinks of women as possessions (he’s sooo misogynistic. you can’t convince me otherwise) like what do you mean women are their own person and can control their own lives?! no…. they are possessions!

additionally, he is sooo convincing with his words — he can get anyone to trust him quite easily (especially if they’re naive) and he’s taking full advantage of that.

honestly nam-gyu probably has anyone naive trying things they were always against. he has such a way with words when it comes to getting anyone to open up or doing what he wants them to do. he'll give them everything they need to get them to say yes even if it means making promises he doesn't even plan to keep or fulfill.

also, no one can convince me otherwise that this man doesn’t have a thing for trad wives. he definitely likes the idea of codependency and the fact that someone clings to him like a second skin (but let’s be honest, he definitely doesn’t make it out to seem like he likes it — it’s always constant degradation from him: “stupid bitch, can’t ever do anything for yourself, huh? i have to do everything for you”). also likes the idea of baby trapping, because you can’t leave him ♡ but 100% does not like kids.

i also can see him fetishizes the FUCK out of lesbians (once again… this man is ICKY) and i definitely feel like if he was the type to get into a relationship with someone who is bisexual (or closeted lesbian. specifically if he coerces them) he would exploit the shit out of it. bro definitely has a premium subscription to ph. constantly doom scrolling to find something he hasn’t watched yet (specifically lesbians or threesomes (two girls, one guy) it’s definitely one of his biggest fantasies. he is soo gross ♡)

he would probably likes giving some naive, lightweight (never done drugs before) drugs that he knows they wouldn’t be able to handle just so he they can take advantage.

I AM GOING INSANEEEE. i am clawing and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.

warnings: 18+, DARK content, dubcon, baby trapping

bro i am so sorry i haven't let this out to the public sooner, this is so good and factual fr 💔 like this guy is an misogynistic incel honestly, idfc what anyone else says, u literally can see it in the show how he treats se-mi. he's a meanie.

THE PH SUBSCRIPTION IS SO REAL. also, forces or not, makes u watch porn with him, the disgusting ones like heavy bondage/bdsm, prolly whilst sticking a wand vibrator on ur clit in a setting that's intense BUT wont make u cum so its pure torture..

guys has anyone done se-mi x reader x nam-gyu ? like hello? hello????? ITS RIGHT THERE prolly would watch u & se-mi whilst he's cucking himself. or he's right in the middle of the action, both ur pussies rubbing on his dick.

also, i love nam-gyu corruption kink, to someone whos absolutely clean, pure, law abiding citizen, prolly doesnt even know half of the kinks or stuff u see in pornhub, BUT THAT'S WHY NAM-GYU EXISTS!! to teach you allat, to corrupt u :^

i just dont feel like hes a good person at all, in smut mindset, and in fr the character, hes those toxic bfs who's only "strong" cuz u're just a lil bit weaker than him. and if u try to leave, nuh-uh, u can't, u wanted a child to begin with right?

"fuck you mean, 'i'm leaving you'? bitch please," he scolds, pumping another load inside- straight to your womb, "you wanna be a single mom?" you shake your head immediately, you were on birth control.. but maybe not... oh no! "then don't bullshit me with saying you're 'leaving me'... you know you love me." let's just hope he'll be a good dad... (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

if anyone needs a fluffy lovey namgyu smut this aint the place.. jk, i would prolly post one too heheh <3 also, now i wanna make a full on incel!nam-gyu x reader smut mannn

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

Today's Horoscope

Capricorn ♑: It's Saturday, you should be doing drugs and alcohol. As fast and as aggressively and irresponsibly as possible.

Aquarius ♒: Is there a middle ground with you?? DAMN! It's time to try some mindfulness meditation. Walk into a corporate office and join their facilitated breathing seminar.

Pisces ♓: Every time you do some bullshit it sticks to your skin like garbage stench. You're swimming in garbage get out of the garbage.

Aries ♈: I can't even look at you right now, because you're glowing. You're beautiful. Goon a little more for me baby. I'm blind. You're blind. We're all blind.

Taurus ♉: Now's a good time for pastries and desserts. Just have a ginger ale afterwards to settle your tummy.

Gemini ♊: Soon you're going to hear an Ariana Grande song from a passing car. Hear the way the Doppler effect distorts her voice. That's your role model. Doppleriana.

Cancer ♋: Put on a hospital gown and sprint through a seafood market, cackling as loud as possible. Not for your benefit. It will kick off a butterfly effect that could save the world.

Leo ♌: You stink, and it's sexy. Get on those apps. Get the premium subscriptions. Get someone to smell that stank. It's time to fuck.

Virgo ♍: A cold shower won't fix you, but it'll do something. Freeze, baby. Freeze. Be one with the body of the universe by being cold and uncomfortable.

Libra ♎: Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. Pushups. P

Scorpio ♏: Go have some "boy drinks". Root beer, actual beer, bourbon. Now is not the time to be a pretty princess. Don't you dare trim that bush.

Sagittarius ♐: We're basically on the opposite side of the year from Sagittarius season but I don't care-- this is your time. Carpe the shit out of that diem.

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Niconico Premium Exclusive ☽ 10th Anniversary Sadistic Radio Mini Drama Translation ☽ Fireworks by the Sea in the Otherworld

Original title: ドS吸血ラジオ ～Resurrection Night 10th Anniversary 朗読ミニドラマ～ 「あの世浜辺で見た花火」 Voiced by Midorikawa Hikaru (Ayato), Toriumi Kōsuke (Shuu), Konishi Katsuyuki (Reiji) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (mini drama runs from 01:10-07:20)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This mini drama was performed live during the DL 10th anniversary event on Niconico back in 2022! During the introduction, the voice actors were talking about how happy they were to perform together again instead of alone in a recording booth, which was really wholesome. And honestly, having the three brothers fawning over you... oh my (♡´𓋰`♡) Thank you to @otomeheroines for requesting!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

01:10 [Fireworks go off in the distance.]

Ayato: These fireworks are huge! And they’re spherical! Awesome! Actually, why are they spherical? You don’t know either, do you, Pancake?

Reiji: They were invented by a famous pyrotechnician from the Edo period (1). This should be common knowledge.

Shuu: [To you:] Hey, you. Don’t act all impressed by the fireworks and tell us what’s going on here.

A: Yeah! You invited me to watch the fireworks with you. Why’re there three of us here?

[You explain the situation.]

A: Huh? You invited all three of us? I know nothing ‘bout that.

R: Me neither. [To you:] If anything, this should be attributed to your thoughtlessness. Did you just decide to invite the general public to our date?

S: This is some bullshit. If this is a quadruple date, I’ll pass. I don’t care about these children’s antics.

R: Why, Shuu, heading home already?

S: Yeah. Not only are the two of you bothering me, but the fireworks and Ayato’s yapping are so loud that I can’t hear my music at all. I’ll go home and sleep.

A: Great, that’s one rival down! And she has no eyes for Reiji, anyway. Pancake’s all mine! 

R: How regrettable, Ayato. It is quite pathetic for you to be under the impression that she chose you.

A: What? You pickin’ a fight with me?

R: Who knows? [To you:] Either way, I prepared iced tea for you. Could I interest you in drinking it with me on that hill over there?

A: Wow, Reiji, you’re just doing however the fuck you please, huh? That’s totally like you.

S: Hold on. If the two of you paid attention earlier, I haven’t said a word about letting you do with her as you please. Don’t misunderstand.

03:29 R: [To Shuu:] Well, well. I thought you were going home, but it seems as though you lust after her after all.

S: I changed my mind. Even if I tried to sleep, I’d have nothing to lay my head on if she’s not there.

R: She went through all this trouble just to watch the fireworks. There is no way she would go home with you without having properly seen them.

A: I know, right? Shuu, you know jack shit ‘bout the minds of women.

S: What? I know enough but I don’t bother telling you about it. I’ll play along with your provocations, though.

A: Well then, you’d better prepare to lose. I’ll prove to you all right here that I’m the best.

04:12 [The scene changes. The boys are going to try and appeal to you.]

Ayato: Bet you’re enjoying making us fight over you, huh, Pancake? You’ve no right to refuse me. Just be a good girl and become mine. You can tell me ‘no’ all you want, but you know full well how your body responds to my fangs.  Be honest and tell me you want me so badly it hurts. I’ll have you in ecstasy before you know it.  So choose me, Pancake.

[Ayato kisses you.]

Shuu: Heh. You have no composure at all, Ayato. What’re you doing, trying to lead her on like that? [To you:] You know you’ve been head over heels for me from the start. I won’t let you get away now. So just be a good girl and confess your love. Lose yourself in me. I’ll make you feel so good you won’t be able to think about anything else.

[Shuu kisses you.]

05:20 Reiji: [To you:] You have a strange talent for winding vampires around your finger. I’d say you are a femme fatale. I wonder how far you will go to tempt us. What does it take to satisfy you? I have lived for many, many years, and yet this is the first time someone has pulled at my heartstrings like this. However, I am not used to being at the receiving end of such temptation.  I shall have you at my mercy next. 

[Reiji kisses you.]

05:56 A: Hah. You’re both way too subtle. I’m the clear winner!

S: Come on. There’s no way she’ll be swayed by such childish words. It’s clear that she’s going to choose me.

R: She cannot make a proper choice if you keep pressing her like this. 

[To you:] Please, answer according to your true feelings.

A: [To you:] You can’t live without me, and I’m no good without you either. You know that, right?

S: [To you:] You’re at fault for making me crazy about you. You’ll be a good girl and take responsibility, won’t you?

R: [To you:] I cannot accept any other outcome than you ditching those two for me. We have spent so much time in each other’s company. Does that not count for anything?

A: It’s Yours Truly, right?

S: You choose me, right?

R: I am the only viable option.

[You make a run for it.]

06:50 A: Huh? She’s running away!  Hey! Slow down, Pancake!

S: Don’t think you’ll get away after leading me on like that.

R: Good grief. How very unladylike, running across a sandy beach like that.

[You keep running as fireworks go off in the distance…]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(1) The Edo period is a period in Japanese history that ran from 1603 until 1868, characterised by the Tokugawa shogunate (the military government) which was centred in Edo. Edo is the former name for Tokyo, which was the de facto capital of Japan in this period as opposed to Kyoto, which was the historical seat of the Emperor (and therefore the official capital) until 1868.

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

FINALLY a sensible explanation to why almost no one uses guns in modern magical settings. It is not because bullshit magic shields or anything like that, it simply is because the amount of premium "special" bullets you would need to produce is simply not economical given how many of them you will need in some cases.

Jumping settings it also explains why Space Marines constantly go into melee given how much goes into producing bolter shells - apparently they can't aim for shit so sending them in punching is just more efficient in terms of supplies.

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Cringe, Autism Parents stuff, drunk mention, infantilization)

So I don't have a degree in Graphic Design, but I do have a sense of general aesthetic. I figured that it's April. Let's rate, and potentially verbally tear apart and drag through the mud, some autism shirts and graphic designs, and I'll probably do a part 2, these scores are only semi-arbitrary: First up is this:

Already off the top, I am confusion because it seems to read "I wear puzzle cousin autism awareness". Sounds like whoever made this was drunk.

Puzzle pieces, ew.

The red, yellow, green, and blue look like the shades you'd see in elementary school, so that seems pretty infantilizing.

Autism Awareness, I am very much aware of my existence.

Final Score: 0 out of 10. Designer, go home; you're drunk.

Next we have this:

This one already has a slight advantage over the first because it's at least coherent in terms of the message.

Elementary school colors, but make it extra tacky.

Puzzle pieces; don't try to bullshit me by putting the autism awareness banner over it, I can see the other indents that make them puzzle pieces.

Once again, I am well aware of my own existence.

At least it's a smaller design.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10, and that's being generous.

Next one's not a shirt, but it still counts:

No blue so thank God for that.

This is up to personal preference, but to me, the person-first language is giving "I need to be reminded that someone is a person."

Puzzle pieces. Ew. Don't BS me, I can see them.

Walk down Autism Lane. (it's right below the word LOVE) Sorry, but we don't allow ableists on Autism Lane; you need to be a premium member and to be a premium member, you need to not be a dick.

The pumpkin disturbs me for some reason, and not in the Halloween way; I mean, it just straight-up disturbs me.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10. Bury it in a shallow grave.

Just found this one:

It's easy on the eyes at least.

No tacky elementary school colors.

No puzzle pieces.

The bunny's cute, but this also seems very infantilizing.

Person first language is a no for me.

Why are all of the is lowercase, but the others are uppercase?

Final Score: 5 out of 10. Not great, but not terrible.

Here we have simple:

Elementary school colors, but credit where credit's due; it's not terrible on the eyes.

Why is blessed on there three times?

One big-ass puzzle piece.

"Autism blesses" Yes, because being bullied by my peers, being indirectly told who I am is wrong, having the worst time making friends, always feeling like I'm never truly part of a friend group, being confused when some adults got mad at me, not having anyone to play with at 4 years old is an absolute fucking blessing. /s And that's the tip of the iceberg.

"Fun", "Sweet", "Cute".....it's the infantilization for me.

Final Score: 3 out of 10. No further elaboration.

Then there's this monstrosity:

I call this color Patronizing Paraprofessional Blue, aka the tackiest shade of blue ever.

It looks like something one of those older white suburban millennial moms would wear. Like something a Karen would wear to one of those autism walks or one of those social skills teachers who talk in that slowed-down patronizing kindergarten teacher tone with that fake-ass smile, no matter how old you are. You know the one I'm talking about, right? Yeah, they'd wear this.

Puzzle piece. Light It Up Blue. Ew.

We all know what organization this supports.

Final Score: -10 out of 10. Burn it.

Let's get in a good one to counter that abomination of a shirt and end part one on a higher note:

Nice simple design with a black background.

No tacky elementary school colors.

Identity-first language.

Really counters the....what the fuck would it be called? The UwU autism parent thing? ("I am his voice, he is my heart," "See the able, not the label," etc,.) It counters that.

The light sparkle around "a bitch" is chef's kiss.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. Perfection.

[shirakinagi-san]

I just wanted to take a second and apologize to my followers who have been overwhelmed by how many posts I'm reblogging involving Luigi Mangione and america's broken ass health insurance "system"

There's a few reasons with the first of which being, as many of you know, I have multiple auto-immune conditions, and seeing an Insurance CEO get his come-uppance/ karma for allowing hundreds of thousands of people with the same or similar genetic diseases to die from lack of care and medication is very poetic and justified to me, as a dark-humored and jaded millenial/gen X

ALONG with that, the fact that the NYPD is trying to claim Terroism is SO BEYOND unconstitutional. In saying it was "Terroristic", they essentially claim that CEO's are in the same position of power as government officials, which, last I checked, they're normal citizens, not politicians.

Not ONLY that, but I'm also from MD, and Luigi and I actually have friends of friends in common. I've never met him personally or spoken to him, but I know people who have, or have at least heard enough about him from THEIR friends to know something stinks here.

So yeah, I'm not stopping until this fraud-ass trial is over, and even then, I'm not gonna stop posting about the bullshit American oligarchy happening in this shithole country.

I'm over being scared that my insulin pumps and pain medication won't be covered anymore because some un-credentialed Schmuck at CVS decided that an insulin-dependant diabetic doesn't need insulin to live.

I can't work full time due to my heath, so I have state medicaid. AND even if I could be full time with standard insurance, most of my genetic chronic health issues would not be covered by these money-hungry corpos since it's all pre-existing. Either that or they'll charge me so high of a premium i'd go bankrupt(trust me, i've looked). Until there's a change, I'm not stopping. I'm tired of being shown that people don't want me to live.

I don't believe Luigi Mangione did it, but whoever did has my gratitude.

Deny, Defend, Depose.

[elaemae]

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 6

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 5

I get really happy every time one of you guys like, reblog, or comment on my chapters, Thanks guys :3

CW: ANYTIME that MC is referred with male address or pronouns it's going to be color blue. There's also a shit-ton of cursing here.

You can feel your blood pressure ascending into the Celestial Realm (faster than a newly deceased good person) as this Azul Asheng-something mf drags you into his oh-so-fancy "Monstro Lounge" while you're just peacefully trying to fuck off from his dorm.

You were unfortunately curious enough to go poke your head into the mirrors leading to the dorms to see what they've got and use it as inspiration, but then this greasy-ass bitch sadly spotted you and literally hounded you to go in.

You would've socked him in the face for a second time but it turns out that he's a pretty important figure in this school.

You don't really wanna get in trouble for doing that.

(You may be able to do it to Crowley but you don't know if this attempted-bangle-thief has influential parents or something.. Crowley meanwhile, acts pretty parent-less for you.)

You are keeping an eye on him though.

If he tries any bullshit then he's getting his ass kicked.

Social hierarchy be damned.

You didn't rein in 10 demons, 3 angels, The greatest sorcerer in all of humanity and The literal fuckin grim reaper, (who're all constantly dragging you onto bullshit as either an accomplice or the baby-sitter) just for some dude in an Emo-friendly-cut-my-life-into-pieces college to best you.

• • • •

Jade did a double-take.

"..."

He blinked.

Azul is sending him SOS signals by blinking morse code at him.

Jade rubbed his eyes for a few seconds.

"..."

Nope, still the same.

Azul: *Blinking for help intensifies*

...Pft–

He bit his lip to stop his laughter from escaping.

Who would've thought that he'll see a day where his precious housewarden is having his face passive-aggresively squished and kneaded by a new student? And also, probably getting himself threatened based on the eerie smile on the students' face.

Azul should be grateful that floyd isn't here, lest he'll have two people on his hands that are more than happy to squish him around. He should be grateful there isn't anyone else around, really.. Lest the reputation he took so long to build crumbles.

Oh he can just imagine it at the top of his head.. The poor octo-mer will probably combust from embarrassment and maybe even go find himself an octo-pot that he can shimmy himself into.. oh how he misses those days...

(Elae: I'm just imagining baby Azul shimmying into a lil pot.. Ugh, so adorable I'm getting cute aggression.)

He does eventually step in to stop the student from treating Azul's face like a squishy piece of dough He took a couple of pictures ofc. he ain't an amateur, but not before almost getting his own face fall victim to the new students' hands.

• • • •

"You try this shit again and see what happens." You smiled at him as you squished his face.

He's still holding onto your wrists but he seems to have given up from escaping your passive-aggresive face massage. Instead, he seems to have settled in blinking so fast he can almost fly with his eyelashes.

This bitch really had the audacity to try and get you to sell your jewelry to him in exchange for a room in his frankly unimpressive dorm. (You have more than a dozen rich and powerful simps. A dorm in a college ain't gonna be enough to impress you anymore.)

"— I know that you must not have any money to pay but maybe we can compromise, it's gonna be hard for you and your friend (Yuu) to keep staying in the infirmary after all.."

"We can manage—"

"And my benevolence will not allow me to let some poor unfortunate souls be without accommodations... So what if, for a week of stay each, you give me your jewelry in retur—"

You got so pissed at the audacity that you almost strangled him but changed your tactic into a hateful squeezing the last second. (You can't be reported for physically violent behavior rn.)

He speaks as if the entirety of this college and its dorms can actually be worth even a single piece of the ring in your left hand.

But seriously? 15,000 madols (that's the price Azul told you) for one night of stay?? If you're gonna be paying that much money for a single room, then that room better solve all your problems, fulfill your greatest ambitions and then suck your imaginary dick afterwards.

Your annoyed musings were cut off when a hand tries to remove your grip from Azul's face.

You absent-mindedly reach your other hand, trying to deliver another kneading to a new victim.

• • • • •

Azul covers his face with his hand, embarrassed of how the situation played out.

It doesn't help that Floyd is cackling like a deranged maniac at him right now.

Thank goodness they're in his office.

"Can you stOp?!"

Poor bbg was so embarrassed his voice cracked :<

Hmph.

Jokes on you, even if he got embarrassed today he still got closer to your jewelry.

And now, he can 100% confirm that those ornaments aren't just for decorations.

The strong magic from your rings that were pressed against his face confirmed it.

Those things are definitely custom-made magical artifacts of the highest caliber.

Now.. How to get them...

• • • • •

You stopped walking, feeling someone's gaze on you.

Looking around discreetly, you didn't see anyone but you can still feel the eyes on your form.

Yeah no.

You continue on, ignoring the feeling of being watched, but not going to dark places or spots where you'll be all alone.

Time to check in on Yuu and their unwilling gang of window cleaners.

See if they're done already.

The sun is starting to go down, after all.

• • • • •

Mc... We're going to come find you.

Don't worry..

Please stay safe..

Please don't forget that we love you more than anything else in existence..

0u® |!gHt įN tH€ d@RkN€§$

← Pr. 5 | Chapter List | Pr. 7 →

EDIT: WTF WHY DID THIS CHAPTER GET POSTED?! I SAVED IT IN THE GODDAMN DRAFTS THIS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DONE YET WHAT THE HELL?!

Oh welp, ain't nothing I can do about it now..

Thanks for reading this far, readers☺️

Reblog or I'll bite ya ankles😈

@f0uerleafedcl0ver

@leviathans-tail-scales

@a-traveling-void-human

@xingyunny

@caprinaesprout (should I put you in the permanent tag list for this series?)

Tagging isn't working for some reason so I can't tag some of y'all. The usernames I tagged just fuckin disappearing.

Tumblr is messing with me rn.

You wanna throw hands, Tumblr??

[sgiandubh]

What do you think of the theme “we’re all adults here” starz is using

Dear Theme Anon,

That is a beautiful question and I think this is your lucky day: with a tropical night ahead (35C/ 95F - nope, that is not a bra size 😱🤣), we simply live at night, like Superman. So, while I am slowly cooking my famed (but tedious) Circassian chicken recipe for tomorrow night's semiformal dinner, it is with great pleasure that I am answering it.

Please excuse the length. I know what I am able to do when I really like a question and yours got me immediately interested. Thank you for that.

Funnily enough, I was just having a very enriching conversation this afternoon, with a very, very good friend, who is way more intelligent than I, so she has no desire to write any blogs on Tumblr. On the very same topic you raised, Anon. With her permission, I am going to sum up the gist of it (et merci encore à toi 😘😘).

Let's look at that pic again:

The Craigh Na Dun Fateful Dance of Love and Death is one of the most moving pivotal moments of the entire series. Tens of thousands of women have shamelessly cried all around the world, while watching this (haven't you? I know I have and did it with no grace whatsoever, but pinky promise: don't tell anyone else, please). And then watched and rewatched and rewatched to oblivion, with or without that Kleenex box and that Ben and Jerry icecream at the ready.

You know, it's exactly like Shakespeare writes in Romeo and Juliet's Prologue ( I hope I still remember it...): ' A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life'. Love and Death blended together is one of the most powerful narrative tropes that ever existed. So much so, that a guy named Denis de Rougemont even famously noticed that in French, a single letter separates l'Amour (Love) and la Mort (Death), with seminal implications for our Western World mentality, ever since the Middle Ages. For some mysterious reason, we seem to always be caught completely unguarded when exposed to such ultimate injustice.

Tragic magic. This is exactly what also made OL a cult series, irrespective of its (many) unjustified lengths, its (many) moments of uneven acting and its (many, way too many) bullshit pills thrown at an increasingly jaded and bitterly divided fandom. Life imitating Art was just an unexpected blessing and a curse, that much we shippers know, and I am not planning to dwell on it.

But how long can you continue to sell this product almost exclusively to women, all around the world, especially when you are faced with the prospect of a dragging/delayed merger & acquisition (never a good sign) and an increasingly dwindling number of subscribers (never a good sign, either)? I'd think not for too long, really, even if OL still is one of ***'s biggest success stories ever. How long can you pretend to sell a high-end content to 'premium women viewers', when you know very well that you chose to discard that famed 'female gaze', which turned the series' first season into an instant media phenomenon?

Riddle me that: how to sell this product for a profit and expand that fan base while, at the same time, trying not to lose your loyal hardcore viewership?

This is ***'s first answer - I bet this will be followed by some more things, but let's see what it might mean.

On that poster, the focus is still on The Mythical Couple. Selling that good old famed, surreal chemistry - remind those old fans of that moment they felt all those feels (awww....). At the same time, try and create a need out of thin air - 'you need more'. More of what? Sex? Violence? Sexual Violence? Intrigue? Politics? Political intrigue? Ethics? Dilemmas? Ethical dilemmas? All of the above? None of the above? Stupid poster won't tell, but hey: buy me and I'll speak. Buy. Subscribe. We'll think of a way to keep you hooked - at least for the next season and a half. After all, Season Eight is a study in freestyle. After all, we conveniently leaked the info that 'Erself wrote the finale's script (why risk GoT's epic #shitshow?), so all is fine and dandy.

On par with our Mythical Couple, we have that sword. Oversized. Symmetrically featured. Action, with an intelligent twist - that is a finely wrought blade, after all. Uh-oh: that spells a new, more inclusive target. Male audience. 25 to 75, to be more exact , because the only promise the poster makes is a sobering one: 'more than fairy tales'- color me surprised.

After all, 'we're all adults, here'. Key operating words: 'all' (more inclusivity) and 'adults' (not like in X-rated, but more like in 'serious shite').

Well, then. That would require narrative chutzpah and bold choices. That would require a faster paced script, less of those never-ending side stories and borderline neurodiverse focus on irrelevant details (I am still not done with that Fiery Cross and not even ashamed of it, at this point in time) that do plague The Books. And throw rotten tomatoes at me if you wish (I don't care), that would require the end of that horribly robotic directing - we all know what the hell that means.

Will they be able to keep that high-maintenance standard? One thing I am sure of: when you treat your fandom like shite and drag along endless spells of Droughtlander without as little as a bone thrown in for diversion for months in a row, you'd better hone that blade, darlings and go for a kill. Bring it on. Bring that addictive spice back, stat.

It is my humble understanding *** wishes to create an OL universe. Wanna bet the farm that somewhere in their cartons they do entertain the possibility of (at least) a second season of BOMB? S and C cameos could be a breeze to arrange, after all ( we consider this in theory - I happen to think it could be more complicated than that). The story could be duplicated to oblivion - is it way too outlandish to imagine a season devoted to Mandy and Jem's story through several timelines?

[dreadwedge]

Sometimes as an entrepreneur when you people ask me what LEGFINGER is i can't help but laugh. I mean, it should be pretty self-explanatory, right? LEGFINGER is a finger, only it can be affixed to one's leg. "Leg. Finger. Leg-finger." See? No advertising tricks, no fine print, no bullshit. if you were to purchase LEGFINGER today, what you would get is exactly what it says on the tin: LEGFINGER – The Finger Of The Leg. What's this? You're still confused? "But isnt that what a toe is?", you are saying? Absolutely not. In no way, semantically, functionally, or legally is LEGFINGER a toe, and frankly, to construe it to be as such would be an act of blatant dishonesty. No, I'm not upset at you. It's alright, I get this a lot; let me clarify. The difference is simple: toes are, I think any reasonable person would agree, the fingers of the feet. On the other hand, LEGFINGER bypasses the foot entirely for a direct Leg-To-Finger-Connection™. Additionally, toes also lack many of LEGFINGER's quality-of-life features and premium content like wifi capability or the upcoming LEGFINGER Battle Pass. So, yeah, I think it's safe to say LEGFINGER defiinitely not just some measly toe. I hope that clears things up. Ok, let's see, I'll have a large corned beef on rye and a medium root beer. What's that now? "Do I want a pickle with that?", you're asking me? Ha! What do I look like, the founder of NECKTOOTH? Uhhh yeah I think I'll be wanting a fuckin pickle man. Actually, you know what? Sales are up this quarter; why don't we make it two. That's two of your finest half-sour pickles, a corned beef sandwhich on rye, and a medium root beer, got it? You sure? I don't like repeating myself. I'm literally the LEGFINGER guy in case you forgot.