#it's some premium bullshit

[see-arcane]

I want an animated Draula partially because animation elevates the "brooding in the dark fog under the lamplight/moon/rain". Which is something that Jack Seward does and I want to see that man brood on the asylum rooftops in his dark coat and the wet cobbled streets and hunching over his lancet and chloral, while monologuing about the bleakness of life and of fleeting hope and loneliness leading him to cruelty and how hateful returning home is to him and pondering what would make him not avoid the pit of hell and of the madness inherent in mankind. NOT Dracula. STOP stealing his thing and giving it to Dracula (my telekenisis blasts everything across the room)

Sadly yet another case of 'Dracula is only such a #cool character in pop culture because HE KEEPS BEING GIVEN ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS' INTERESTING TRAITS'

[gayvampyr]

when I properly learn to code & program im going to create a free site for finding homework answers that allows other users to contribute as well. im sick of this paywalled bullshit

[navvigating]

has anyone else been getting jumpscared by random ad audio while scrolling through tumblr app? i dont even see the video, just the audio comes and stops my heart for a second

[snowflop]

lord forgive me for what I must do *starts reinstalling feh*

[woundedheartwithin]

This is complete bullshit.

Do not buy this shit, I’m so serious. That’s $152 USD in fucking DLC on top of the $70 base game (the job set that it says I purchased was the preorder bonus, so idk what the cost on that is).

That’s a total of $222.

And DON’T FORGET that new game plus, a base game feature or free update in almost every AAA release to date, is only included in the $20 master vacation bundle add on. The industry will learn from this, and this shit will get worse.

Stop. Buying. DLC.

[adharastarlight]

Dear teachers setting work on microsoft, some of us cannot afford this!!!! please use accessible programmes, like google's equivalents for instance

[thecowboyghost]

you should 1000% get into hockey. it will ruin your life. but in a fun way.

i mostly understand the rules and stuff now which is good but i have unfortunately gotten invested in the habs (doing so so bad rn and all injured) and the leafs (cursed and also pretty injured) so. ruining my life a bit

[ashitomarisu]

Dumbass me did not realize Spotify updated to play the music video (if available) for almost every song.

So as soon as I hear 36°C, I get nostalgia and emotions from a pre-pandemic time. Then, there's Shuka's most POPULAR song...

(I can handle the song but NEVER ask me to watch the MV ever again).

[shift-shaping]

s2g if the union doesn't go hard enough on this contract I'm going to throw a bag of poop into the bargaining room myself

[nimthirielrinon]

Infernally hot take but I don’t think foods which cater to dietary needs (coeliac, ibs, allergies, etc) should be more expensive than the big-standard “normal” variety foods :/

Like, if it genuinely costs more to make (economies of scale, more thorough cleaning required, whatever) then there should be government subsidies and audits and shit to keep the price about on par with what an average person without specific needs would pay.

[comradecowplant]

What the fuck, Geoguessr is fucking completely paywalled now??!? Google maps is 90% of the game, so excuse me if I'm not feeling my usual charitablity for labor compensation of devs. Boo!!!!!!!! 😠😠😠

[nottsangel]

oh oH OH but i need matteo, theo and enzo to be extremly frustrated and jealous when they noticed that we do bring home some guys!! like they're trying so hard to act nonchalant and like they don't care at all BUT they're secretly seething and plotting how they can stop us from getting any because how dare we?? we have three premium dicks at home, we don't need mediocre dick from the street heLLOOO

new girl au — in which you live with theodore, mattheo and lorenzo

“you gotta be quiet, okay? my roommates are fucking annoying and i really want to avoid them.” you whisper urgently to cedric as you slowly turn the creaky handle of the front door, carefully opening it and swiftly dragging him inside. from the kitchen, you hear theo, mattheo and enzo’s loud voices, overlapping as they chat and laugh uncontrollably, the noise echoing through the apartment.

“go that way.” you whisper again, pointing as you tip-toe nervously toward your bedroom while tightly gripping cedric’s hand to guide him. you hold your breath, tense with anticipation, desperately trying not to make a sound. and you think you’ve succeeded— until you hear mattheo’s nagging voice.

“so you’re not even going to introduce your new friend to us?” you groan in frustration, slowly turning on your heel before forcing a bright, yet clearly fake smile. “oh! i didn’t know you guys were home.” “bullshit.” theo mutters under his breath, making you roll your eyes in sheer annoyance.

“anyway, this is cedric. now, if you guys don’t mind—” “cedric, huh? welcome to our glamorous house. make yourself at home.” lorenzo says in the laziest, most indifferent tone, not even bothering to look at cedric.

then mattheo chimes in, his voice dripping with mocking amusement, “you’re like the fifth guy he’s had to say that to this week, so he’s a bit tired of it already, y’know.” your eyes widen in surprise, and your lips form a thin, displeased line while feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“what!? that— that’s not even true! cedric, don’t listen—”

“yeah, she’s fucking a guy in there like every night. we’re barely getting any sleep these days.” theo adds with a derisive chuckle, sarcastically winking at you as he takes a sip from his drink.

“and she doesn’t just fuck guys from outside these walls, if you know what i mean. but i’m sure she told you.” lorenzo smirks cockily, a self-satisfied and arrogant expression plastered on his face. at this point, you see red as you glare at each of them with narrowed eyes and your jaw tightly clenched, while cedric stands awkwardly by your side, giving you an uneasy and uncomfortable smile.

“uhm, hey… guys. nice to meet you. it’s— it’s a nice apartment you have.”

“cedric, you can go to my room. i’ll be there in a bit, okay?”

it’s dead silent as you’re glaring daggers at the boys, your arms folded tightly across your chest, before you finally hear your bedroom door click shut. “I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! what the FUCK is wrong with you guys!? oh my god, i’m so done with—”

“relax, baby. it’s just guy banter, alright? you clearly don’t get it, but he does.” lorenzo explains nonchalantly with a smug expression, but you know he’s full of shit, seeing right through him. you furiously storm towards them and slap each of the boys angrily on the back of their heads.

“ow! what was that for?” mattheo asks, wincing in pain and rubbing the back of his head. “are you fucking serious?! you guys are cockblocking me, you dumb fuck.”

“calm down, piccola. you know we love you, hm?” theo comments teasingly, tightly wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close, planting a quick, playful kiss on your head.

“this isn’t love! pull shit like this again and i swear to god, i’ll kill each one of you with my bare fucking hands.” “yes ma’am. got it ma’am. please kill mattheo first, ma’am.” “oh fuck you enzo.”

ੈ♡˳

reminder: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. ty! ♡

[seat-safety-switch]

With the ever-present rush towards convenience, so many sit-in restaurants are becoming take-out-only instead. Let's be honest: none of us really want to go outside and talk to people in order to get food. Just flip that app and bingbong® yourself a drunk order of fried treats for only $25 in fees.

Pizza Hut was one of the first to abandon the pull of large square footage, throwing millions of nostalgic red plastic cups into industrial grinders in a mad rush to stop bleeding so much goddamn money all the time. Today, those cups are worth $250 on eBay, so they look pretty stupid now, don't they?

The problem with all this is, in the time of our foreparents, it was real hard to fake the existence of a restaurant. If you went to a Pizza Hut, it was a real-ass physical building. It probably had not been copy-pasted together by a bunch of Taiwanese scam artists using Google Image Search fifteen seconds before you appeared. That was more of a Taco Bell thing. Nowadays, you can't be sure. Computers treat bullshit the same as any other kind of shit, so sometimes you'll be ordering from a completely imaginary restaurant. Feels weird, doesn't it?

As with many other cases in my adult life where I figured out everyone was just faking it, I decided to try and make some quick money. Papa needed a new engine, you see, and Slant Sixes don't exactly grow on trees anymore. With just a couple wonky Excel spreadsheets and a glob of code the size of Upper Tonawanda, I was in business with Switch's Fun-Time Pizza, an entirely non-fictitious restaurant whose address happened to be at the same place as a Pizza Hut.

Folks would pay me money, and then I'd quickly pay Pizza Hut to have a pizza ready by the time the delivery guy rolled up. Nobody seemed to care that the box said the wrong thing, and soon I was collecting fat stacks of money for doing nothing at all, just like the platforms themselves. This went on for a few weeks, fattening my bank account for slaughter. Until the first complaints came in, that is.

Yes, friends: it turned out that the local Pizza Hut had hired someone who wasn't very good at washing their hands. Soon, I was handing out big-time refunds on behalf of a massive international corporation, except I was doing so out of my own ill-gotten profits. My rickety, strung-together bullshit engine made entirely out of spreadsheets and chewing gum simply could not comprehend the idea of a refund, much less one for a weak human phenomenon such as food poisoning. Soon, all the money was gone.

Have I learned something from this whole experience? Yes. The most important thing in food service is to wash your hands thoroughly before (and after!) handling the customer's meat. The second most important thing is to charge at least a hundred percent premium over your supplier, to leave room for little hiccups such as this.

That's way easier to do if you position yourself as an upscale luxury restaurant, such as Lord Switchington of Canterbury's Refined Palate Pizza Parlour For Bourgeois Assholes Only, which will be launching this weekend in the very expensive neighbourhood next to mine. Hopefully their Pizza Hut is a little bit better at keeping the bathroom soap dispenser stocked.

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Niconico Premium Exclusive ☽ 10th Anniversary Sadistic Radio Mini Drama Translation ☽ Fireworks by the Sea in the Otherworld

Original title: ドS吸血ラジオ ～Resurrection Night 10th Anniversary 朗読ミニドラマ～ 「あの世浜辺で見た花火」 Voiced by Midorikawa Hikaru (Ayato), Toriumi Kōsuke (Shuu), Konishi Katsuyuki (Reiji) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (mini drama runs from 01:10-07:20)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This mini drama was performed live during the DL 10th anniversary event on Niconico back in 2022! During the introduction, the voice actors were talking about how happy they were to perform together again instead of alone in a recording booth, which was really wholesome. And honestly, having the three brothers fawning over you... oh my (♡´𓋰`♡) Thank you to @otomeheroines for requesting!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

01:10 [Fireworks go off in the distance.]

Ayato: These fireworks are huge! And they’re spherical! Awesome! Actually, why are they spherical? You don’t know either, do you, Pancake?

Reiji: They were invented by a famous pyrotechnician from the Edo period (1). This should be common knowledge.

Shuu: [To you:] Hey, you. Don’t act all impressed by the fireworks and tell us what’s going on here.

A: Yeah! You invited me to watch the fireworks with you. Why’re there three of us here?

[You explain the situation.]

A: Huh? You invited all three of us? I know nothing ‘bout that.

R: Me neither. [To you:] If anything, this should be attributed to your thoughtlessness. Did you just decide to invite the general public to our date?

S: This is some bullshit. If this is a quadruple date, I’ll pass. I don’t care about these children’s antics.

R: Why, Shuu, heading home already?

S: Yeah. Not only are the two of you bothering me, but the fireworks and Ayato’s yapping are so loud that I can’t hear my music at all. I’ll go home and sleep.

A: Great, that’s one rival down! And she has no eyes for Reiji, anyway. Pancake’s all mine! 

R: How regrettable, Ayato. It is quite pathetic for you to be under the impression that she chose you.

A: What? You pickin’ a fight with me?

R: Who knows? [To you:] Either way, I prepared iced tea for you. Could I interest you in drinking it with me on that hill over there?

A: Wow, Reiji, you’re just doing however the fuck you please, huh? That’s totally like you.

S: Hold on. If the two of you paid attention earlier, I haven’t said a word about letting you do with her as you please. Don’t misunderstand.

03:29 R: [To Shuu:] Well, well. I thought you were going home, but it seems as though you lust after her after all.

S: I changed my mind. Even if I tried to sleep, I’d have nothing to lay my head on if she’s not there.

R: She went through all this trouble just to watch the fireworks. There is no way she would go home with you without having properly seen them.

A: I know, right? Shuu, you know jack shit ‘bout the minds of women.

S: What? I know enough but I don’t bother telling you about it. I’ll play along with your provocations, though.

A: Well then, you’d better prepare to lose. I’ll prove to you all right here that I’m the best.

04:12 [The scene changes. The boys are going to try and appeal to you.]

Ayato: Bet you’re enjoying making us fight over you, huh, Pancake? You’ve no right to refuse me. Just be a good girl and become mine. You can tell me ‘no’ all you want, but you know full well how your body responds to my fangs.  Be honest and tell me you want me so badly it hurts. I’ll have you in ecstasy before you know it.  So choose me, Pancake.

[Ayato kisses you.]

Shuu: Heh. You have no composure at all, Ayato. What’re you doing, trying to lead her on like that? [To you:] You know you’ve been head over heels for me from the start. I won’t let you get away now. So just be a good girl and confess your love. Lose yourself in me. I’ll make you feel so good you won’t be able to think about anything else.

[Shuu kisses you.]

05:20 Reiji: [To you:] You have a strange talent for winding vampires around your finger. I’d say you are a femme fatale. I wonder how far you will go to tempt us. What does it take to satisfy you? I have lived for many, many years, and yet this is the first time someone has pulled at my heartstrings like this. However, I am not used to being at the receiving end of such temptation.  I shall have you at my mercy next. 

[Reiji kisses you.]

05:56 A: Hah. You’re both way too subtle. I’m the clear winner!

S: Come on. There’s no way she’ll be swayed by such childish words. It’s clear that she’s going to choose me.

R: She cannot make a proper choice if you keep pressing her like this. 

[To you:] Please, answer according to your true feelings.

A: [To you:] You can’t live without me, and I’m no good without you either. You know that, right?

S: [To you:] You’re at fault for making me crazy about you. You’ll be a good girl and take responsibility, won’t you?

R: [To you:] I cannot accept any other outcome than you ditching those two for me. We have spent so much time in each other’s company. Does that not count for anything?

A: It’s Yours Truly, right?

S: You choose me, right?

R: I am the only viable option.

[You make a run for it.]

06:50 A: Huh? She’s running away!  Hey! Slow down, Pancake!

S: Don’t think you’ll get away after leading me on like that.

R: Good grief. How very unladylike, running across a sandy beach like that.

[You keep running as fireworks go off in the distance…]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

(1) The Edo period is a period in Japanese history that ran from 1603 until 1868, characterised by the Tokugawa shogunate (the military government) which was centred in Edo. Edo is the former name for Tokyo, which was the de facto capital of Japan in this period as opposed to Kyoto, which was the historical seat of the Emperor (and therefore the official capital) until 1868.

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Cringe, Autism Parents stuff, drunk mention, infantilization)

So I don't have a degree in Graphic Design, but I do have a sense of general aesthetic. I figured that it's April. Let's rate, and potentially verbally tear apart and drag through the mud, some autism shirts and graphic designs, and I'll probably do a part 2, these scores are only semi-arbitrary: First up is this:

Already off the top, I am confusion because it seems to read "I wear puzzle cousin autism awareness". Sounds like whoever made this was drunk.

Puzzle pieces, ew.

The red, yellow, green, and blue look like the shades you'd see in elementary school, so that seems pretty infantilizing.

Autism Awareness, I am very much aware of my existence.

Final Score: 0 out of 10. Designer, go home; you're drunk.

Next we have this:

This one already has a slight advantage over the first because it's at least coherent in terms of the message.

Elementary school colors, but make it extra tacky.

Puzzle pieces; don't try to bullshit me by putting the autism awareness banner over it, I can see the other indents that make them puzzle pieces.

Once again, I am well aware of my own existence.

At least it's a smaller design.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10, and that's being generous.

Next one's not a shirt, but it still counts:

No blue so thank God for that.

This is up to personal preference, but to me, the person-first language is giving "I need to be reminded that someone is a person."

Puzzle pieces. Ew. Don't BS me, I can see them.

Walk down Autism Lane. (it's right below the word LOVE) Sorry, but we don't allow ableists on Autism Lane; you need to be a premium member and to be a premium member, you need to not be a dick.

The pumpkin disturbs me for some reason, and not in the Halloween way; I mean, it just straight-up disturbs me.

Final Score: 0.5 out of 10. Bury it in a shallow grave.

Just found this one:

It's easy on the eyes at least.

No tacky elementary school colors.

No puzzle pieces.

The bunny's cute, but this also seems very infantilizing.

Person first language is a no for me.

Why are all of the is lowercase, but the others are uppercase?

Final Score: 5 out of 10. Not great, but not terrible.

Here we have simple:

Elementary school colors, but credit where credit's due; it's not terrible on the eyes.

Why is blessed on there three times?

One big-ass puzzle piece.

"Autism blesses" Yes, because being bullied by my peers, being indirectly told who I am is wrong, having the worst time making friends, always feeling like I'm never truly part of a friend group, being confused when some adults got mad at me, not having anyone to play with at 4 years old is an absolute fucking blessing. /s And that's the tip of the iceberg.

"Fun", "Sweet", "Cute".....it's the infantilization for me.

Final Score: 3 out of 10. No further elaboration.

Then there's this monstrosity:

I call this color Patronizing Paraprofessional Blue, aka the tackiest shade of blue ever.

It looks like something one of those older white suburban millennial moms would wear. Like something a Karen would wear to one of those autism walks or one of those social skills teachers who talk in that slowed-down patronizing kindergarten teacher tone with that fake-ass smile, no matter how old you are. You know the one I'm talking about, right? Yeah, they'd wear this.

Puzzle piece. Light It Up Blue. Ew.

We all know what organization this supports.

Final Score: -10 out of 10. Burn it.

Let's get in a good one to counter that abomination of a shirt and end part one on a higher note:

Nice simple design with a black background.

No tacky elementary school colors.

Identity-first language.

Really counters the....what the fuck would it be called? The UwU autism parent thing? ("I am his voice, he is my heart," "See the able, not the label," etc,.) It counters that.

The light sparkle around "a bitch" is chef's kiss.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. Perfection.

[hyunjins-orange-slice-too]

reacting to chans insta

pairing: chan x reader

genre: fake texts

warnings: suggestive (maybe just smut), daddy chan

an: don’t ask me what this is, because idk. 😅 also, let’s not talk about the way the image looks in the text thread. the app i use won’t let me add a picture unless i pay for the premium version of the app which is some bullshit if you ask me. so i made that shit myself. anywhooooo. here’s whatever this is. 😘

masterlist

🚨reminder: this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕