#it's so wrong and so right at the same damn time
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anything for love (but I won't do that) | l.howlett
Summary: you wake Logan up real early in the morning and he isn't too happy but for you, he'll do anything
Warnings: none that I can think of
You were always on the go, Logan knew that when he started dating you. What he wasn’t prepared for was the constant early morning wake ups.
“Logan? You sleeping?” You whispered, knowing the man was a light sleeper.
“Mhm. Go back to bed, bub.” He grumbled and pulled you closer, resting his head on yours.
“Can’t. Brain won’t let me.” You complained, relaxing in his arms as he groaned.
“Close your eyes and shut up. That’s normally a good place to start.” That seems to get you to sleep again or so Logan thinks. The peace lasts for about ten minutes before you roll over in his arms to face him and press a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose. “I love you but fuck off and go to sleep.”
“Your morning voice is hot. Should use it more often.” You said bluntly, running a finger over his beard as he opened one eye to glare at you. “What? You don’t like me complimenting you?” Logan just huffed and rubbed his eyes tiredly with the arm that wasn’t under my head.
“It is 5:30am. No. No I do not want compliments right now. I want you to turn your ass back around and let me cuddle you until it is an appropriate time to wake up. Understand?” Logan mumbled and you just looked at him before nodding when he raised one of his eyebrows, signalling that he expected an answer. You rolled back over to face away from him, letting him pull you closer as he buried his face in your neck and pressed gentle kisses there. “Just stay in til 7 bub, that’s early enough.”
“But Logannnn… brain needs something to do.” He huffed and let you get out of bed. “I’m gonna grab a book. That should keep my brain busy right?” Logan just grumbled back some kind of response and rolled on top of you when you got back in bed, his head resting on your stomach.
You rested the book on the top of his back, one hand holding it while the other fell to his head, running your fingers through his hair, only removing it to turn the page. The book kept you busy for a grand total of 4 minutes and 43 seconds (Logan was counting), before you realised that you had reread the same sentence 4 times and not taken any of it in. Now, you resorted to styling Logan’s horrendous bed head into his usual wolverine ears.
“Baby. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you?” Logan looks up at you, half-annoyed, half-amused. He huffs and sits up, glaring at you through half lidded eyes. “Alright, I’m up. 5:37. What do you want to do?” He watched as you thought it over for a few seconds before smiling.
“Let’s go downstairs and make hot chocolate and watch a Christmas movie!” Logan was quick to cover your mouth with a stern look.
“Just because I didn’t kill your ass for getting me up early doesn’t mean everyone in the damn mansion will take too kindly to your yellin’. Just… let me get changed and we’ll go downstairs alright?” You nodded eagerly, pulling on your own slippers and dressing gown before standing at the bedroom door, waiting for Logan. “Alright, let’s go.”
You were snuggled up under fluffy blankets on the sofa while Logan made you a hot chocolate in the kitchen, grumbling about being “dragged out of bed” and then being “turned into a fuckin’ maid to make hot chocolate”.
“Bub? You want cream and marshmallows on your hot chocolate?” Logan listened out for your response and frowned when he didn’t hear one. He huffed a sigh of annoyance before storming into the living room and seeing you curled up in his shirt and your dressing, bundled up in fluffy blankets, snoring like crazy with drool dripping down your chin. “You have got to be fucking shittin’ me!” That was the day Logan realised he would do anything for love but never again would he entertain your claims of not being able to go back to sleep and he would certainly not be getting out of bed at 5:37am to make hot fucking chocolate.
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Dividers: @coolcatsgraphics
#logan howlett x you#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fluff#logan x reader#hugh jackman#james logan howlett#logan wolverine#logan howlett fic#logan howlett x reader smut#lo#Spotify
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𓅨 The Endless’ Adventure with Animal Control: Chapter One
The Endless’ Adventure with Animal Control: You are being courted by Morpheus, one of the seven Endless. Then you get stood up on your date, and find out the shocking reason why.
Warnings: None.
To Note: Morpheus x Reader, Destiny = Russian Blue, Death = Sphinx, Dream = Mainecoon, Desire = Bombay, Despair = Exotic Shorthair, Delirium = Bengal.
Word Count: ~3.4k
Masterlist | Next
Apparently, having an Endless ‘court’ you means being showered with attention, gifts, and being treated like royalty while visiting the Dreaming. A quick Google search makes your situation clear. Courting is basically dating with the intention to marry, the step before engagement. So, you’ve essentially told Dream of the Endless he could court you and potentially marry you. Wow, you really have a knack for getting yourself into situations!
On the bright side, you enjoy the intimate time spent with Morpheus as he shows you places within the Dreaming you’d never imagined. Despite all the ethereal beauty and wonder you gaze at, Morpheus always keeps his eyes on you. That makes you feel special, beautiful, and seen—a first in your life.
It’s also an ego boost for the Endless to watch you fawn over his creations, as there’s nothing you don’t find awe-inspiring or amazing.
Morpheus’ courtship sweeps you up in a romantic swirl of magical dreams, picnics, and strolls, making you feel like you’re living a never-ending fairytale. But fairytales always end, right? You don’t think it’s going to crash and burn; you’re just suspicious of how well things are going in your life. Nothing has ever been this smooth and easy for this long. You’re suspicious, to say the least. That’s how you find yourself absentmindedly stirring muffin batter while lost in thought.
“Hey, uh, Y/N?” Matthew chitters, his head cocking to the side. “I think you’re over-stirring the batter…” You blink out of your tumultuous thoughts and glance down at the bowl. Damn it.
“It’s banana muffins,” you mutter, trying to hype yourself up. “They’re forgiving… right?” Matthew has no idea if banana muffins are forgiving, as he doesn’t bake, but he remembers that over-stirring muffin batter is a kitchen no-no.
“No idea, but sure, they’ll taste good either way,” the raven replies from his perch on the window sill. You installed a little bird perch for him after Morpheus began courting you. Matthew cocks his head further at you while you spoon the batter into the muffin tray. “So, you’ve been really lost in your thoughts lately, Y/N. Something wrong?”
You don’t reply at first, choosing to collect your thoughts while spooning dollops of batter. With a more than necessary drawn-out soft sigh, you finally reply:
“I feel like I’m in a fairy tale,” you explain almost numbly, realizing that admitting your thoughts out loud makes them true. “A stupid Disney fairy tale where all my wishes and dreams come true.”
Listening to your softly spoken words, Matthew is confused by how down you seem about those words. You’re happy with your life, right? It sure seems like it with the way you smile when Morpheus is with you—you practically glow! Clearly, everything isn’t fine in reality.
“What’s wrong with that?” Matthew broaches, ruffling his wings. “Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Fairy tales come to an end, Matthew, and I’m starting to wonder when mine will do the same.” You reply with a shrug, setting aside the now empty bowl and grabbing the filled muffin tray. “I’m not going to pretend that this is going to last forever. Nothing in my life has ever been without problems or heartbreak.”
“What exactly are you saying? Things are going too well between you and the boss man?”
“Pretty much,” you say, putting the tray in the oven and setting the timer. “I mean, do you know what it means to court someone? It isn’t dating, Matthew.”
“Uh, you’re gonna have to clarify for me because I have no idea what courting even is…” the raven responds sheepishly. You lean back against the kitchen counter and stare out the window.
“It means you get to know someone with the intention of marriage,” you explain to the raven, feeling silly for even saying the words. In what dimension would an Endless want to marry you?
“Wow, boss, you’re really going for it,”
Sitting on the park bench where you’ve spent countless hours next to a certain brooding man, your jaw clenches and fingers grip the worn wood tightly. Morpheus is never late. In fact, it always seems like he waits for you to arrive. He’s always careful never to have you wait on him and extends every chance he has to spend more time with you. So why isn’t he at your meeting place today?
Perhaps something has come up in the Dreaming, and he had to tend to that incident first? No, Matthew would have come to inform you of such an event. You spend many of your waking hours in the raven’s presence, and he keeps you well informed about what’s going on in the Dreaming. They wouldn’t leave you sitting all by yourself on this bench wondering...
“Maybe I was right,” you softly speak to yourself, thinking back to the conversation you had with Matthew about how your life is a fairy tale. Perhaps this is the great end you’ve been expecting? No, Morpheus wouldn’t do that to you. He dotes on you like a loyal boyfriend and worships the ground you tread! If you and he were going to end your relationship, no doubt it would be an explosive event with anger and tears. Not this nothingness. “They wouldn’t do this to me, they wouldn’t do this to us.”
You repeat those words in your mind, trying to convince yourself that nothing is wrong and that, for once, Morpheus and Matthew are distracted by something to miss your bi-weekly date at the park. Tonight you’ll enter the Dreaming and hunt down Lucienne to find out what happened. An Endless hellbent on courting you like a queen wouldn’t ghost you.
Sighing in dejection, you rise from your seat and stuff your hands in your pockets. Clearly, your date is going to have to be postponed. So you turn and slowly begin walking back towards your home, trying not to let your mind turn upon itself. Following the winding path, you pass a group of children kicking around a soccer ball and a pair of gossiping women. The pathway bends around a group of trees that obscure the rest of the park, and while you glance at a flowering bush, a cacophony of birds and breaking branches startles you out of your inner thoughts. You look up in time to see a black mass of ruffled feathers shooting directly at you and take the bird straight in the chest.
Obviously, you fall on your ass with a less-than-graceful yelp. While your palms sting from rocks and gravel digging into your flesh, you grunt and shift into a sitting position as the black bird rights itself.
“We’ve got a MASSIVE problem, boss lady!!” Matthew thunders from where he’s still perched in your lap, feathers askew and very ruffled. You blink at him in surprise, wondering why the hell he would be pulling such a stunt in broad daylight around the public. But before the flustered raven can tell you exactly what’s going on and why it’s such a huge problem, your phone’s ringtone goes off.
“Hold that thought, let me get off the ground and check my phone. It might be work…” Moving Matthew so he’s perched on your shoulder instead of your lap, you pull yourself to your feet and slip your phone from your pocket. The moment your eyes glance at the screen, your brow furrows. “Why on earth would they be calling?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you!” Matthew all but shrieks in your ear. “The boss is a cat again!” Dear sweet Jesus, not again! At least the animal shelter has your number on file and is calling you. Accepting the call, you hold the phone to your ear while speed-walking home.
“Hello?”
“Hello! We are calling you to inform you that we have picked up your cat Morpheus after he was found at the scene of an accident with other felines. We suspect that someone might have been trafficking purebreds given the conditions he and the others were found in. We’ll give him a once-over before you take him home.”
Well, no wonder he hadn’t shown up for your date!
Never mind that, brain. Morpheus is a cat again and possibly mixed up in animal trafficking? You need to get over to that shelter pronto!
“I’ll be right over as soon as I get home,” you promise before ending the call.
“Boss lady to the rescue,” Matthew sighs in relief. “I’ve been trying to bust him and the others out for at least two hours, but I got chased off.” The raven explains. “You have no idea how despondent the boss was when he realized he was going to miss your date. Thought he was going to start crying… can cats cry?”
“No idea and I do not want to find out.” You muse, crossing the street and setting your eyes on your front door. You unlock the door and throw yourself into your home, searching for your car keys. “Stay here while I handle this. It shouldn’t take long since they’ve dealt with him before.”
“Well, yeah,” Matthew agrees, coasting to his perch. “But what about his—” you’re already out the door, the wood slamming shut behind you. You know Morpheus isn’t in any danger of being neutered by the staff, but you do know he isn’t too keen on being touched and prodded while being examined. The last thing you want is for him to get injured a second time while in cat form… which makes you wonder how the hell this happened a second time!
Your boyfriend has a lot of explaining to do. Boyfriend. Gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip, you stare at the red light holding you in place, wondering when you began to think of him as your boyfriend. It makes sense; he is courting you. Has been for several months. But you’d never put a name to your relationship like that, just worried that things were going too well.
“It was a cat that got me into this, and a cat that will probably get me out of this,” you sigh to yourself, pressing the accelerator when the light finally turns green. The only question is, how long are you going to have to wait this time? Hours? Days? Are you going to wake up in bed with him naked again? You wouldn’t complain about that if it did happen again. But seriously, Morpheus really needs to stop getting stuck in cat form because once was excusable but twice is just ridiculous. Especially for an all-powerful Endless.
While you aren’t feeling as stressed as you did the first time entering the animal shelter, you’re still jittery about the idea of an Endless confined in a feline form. Trotting up to the desk, you give the receptionist a smile and tell her that you’re there to pick up Morpheus.
“He’s in back with the other five cats. Follow me,” she says. You do as told, following the receptionist to the back of the clinic and to a room marked ‘holding.’ The moment the door is opened and you step inside, your eyes zero in on the large form of your boyfriend currently sulking in a corner while a gorgeous Bengal bounces off the walls with energy near him. They couldn’t be more opposite! Letting out a breath of relief, you take a step forward, ignoring the dark-bodied Sphinx that trots up to you and sniffs your jeans.
“Morpheus?” you call softly, not wanting to spoil his mood further. Azure eyes settle on you, and in less than a second, the Black Maine Coon is launching himself at you. “Oh jeez,” you exclaim, awkwardly catching the flying form of your boyfriend as he latches onto you with his nails and instantly begins rubbing his face everywhere he can. “Mor—Morpheus, is this… is this really necessary?” you question, pulling away from his nuzzles. A rumble sounds in his body.
They must know you are mine.
You have no idea what he’s talking about, let alone who ‘they’ are. Perhaps the other cats? Your eyes glance around the small room as you hug Morpheus to your chest to support his weight. Obviously, there’s the energetic Bengal and the dark Sphinx, but a black cat with the most peculiar golden eyes lounges on a table observing you while what you think is an Exotic Shorthair lazes about. Finally, your eyes catch sight of a looming body perched on top of a bookshelf, glossy blue-gray fur shimmering in the light while an eyeless gaze stares into your soul.
Holy fuck.
“Family,” you whisper faintly, realizing what this is. The whole Endless family has been turned into cats. Destruction is clearly not here, he’s been missing for a long time, but the six remaining siblings are all accounted for. “How—how did this happen??”
I am afraid we cannot speak of what took place, beloved.
Morpheus’ words draw your gaze from the sightless, but not unseeing, Destiny. You look at him with panic in your eyes.
“Morpheus, Morpheus I am not—” You cut yourself off when a worker pops in.
“Hello! You must be Morpheus’ owner! We’re so glad to reunite him with you after the accident. We haven’t been able to identify the owners of the others, but they are obviously well-fed and cared for…” You speak before you can think your words through.
“They’re all mine,” you blurt out. “The cats. I mean, I’m not a crazy cat lady, I just… love cats…” You ramble as your face heats up, but the worker doesn’t even blink at your claim. The Sphinx obediently sits at your feet, looking up at you. The Bombay gets to its feet, stretches, and jumps down to the floor to get closer, and the Russian Blue, who has been the most aloof, gracefully leaps to the floor and joins the Sphinx. Clearly, they know you and are comfortable with you. “It’s complicated.” You finally sputter out.
“Just means a little extra paperwork, but we are glad to see that they have a loving home to go back to,” the worker replies. “We were real worried about a bunch of families missing their cats.”
“Nope,” you say in a high-pitched voice, cringing on the inside because you clearly need to calm down. “All mine, and clearly I need to make sure to fix whatever they used to get out.”
“I’ll go grab the paperwork and get the cardboard boxes ready. Hang tight,” she says, leaving you alone in the room with six of the most powerful beings in creation, all stuck in cat form.
“Someone better start speaking because this is above my pay grade,” you state, turning back to gaze at Morpheus’ siblings. This is not how you pictured meeting them. You never expected to meet them in the first place! “I—Let’s just be clear that I am a mortal human, and I do not play around with supernatural bullshit on the regular.”
That is understandable; this must be quite a shock for you, Y/N. You look down at the Sphinx, hearing a gentle female voice coming from that direction.
“Great, so I have no idea who is who except I can guess who is Destiny.” The Sphinx blinks at you, and you could swear you receive the cat version of a smile. Meanwhile, Morpheus is still rubbing his face everywhere he can reach.
I am Death, and I am pleased to meet the one who holds my brother's heart.
“Do Endless even have a heart to be held?” you wonder aloud.
Not a physical one. This time, the voice is suave and silky, drawing a low rumbling growl from deep within Morpheus. He pulls away from your neck, where he had been furiously rubbing his scent, and settles his gaze on his sibling.
Do not meddle with my beloved, Desire. Desire, the gorgeous Bombay, doesn’t even bother to bat an eyelash at the hostility in Morpheus’ voice and words.
Oh big brother, must you be so protective? It’s not every day that we get to meet the one who currently holds your attention. You can’t help but flinch at that wording. Hold his attention. Is that all you’re doing? You’ve heard bits and pieces of Morpheus’ past lovers, and by far, you’re the plainest. But you also know about Desire and their love for stirring shit up in the family.
“Desire, I presume?” you ask, stroking Morpheus’ body in an effort to calm him down before a full-on cat fight breaks out in this room. His hackles are already raised.
A pleasure. You must meet my twin; we’ve been ever so curious about you. Twin. Despair, the Exotic Shorthair, who is almost as sulky as Morpheus but barely makes any effort to move from where she lounges. That must mean…
“So you must be Delirium,” you surmise, turning your gaze to the Bengal that’s exploring the room and getting distracted by every little thing she comes across. “I didn’t exactly expect to meet you all like this, but I guess this is what was in the cards?” Your eyes glance down at the silent, eyeless Russian Blue. It’s a little creepy to look at him, but you can’t deny his beauty. Which is odd to think because he’s currently a cat. A cat with no eyes.
This is as planned. That’s a relief to know. Destiny, after all, sees everything. But still, how long is this going to last?
“Okay, and how long should I expect you all to be like this? If you can even tell me about that…”
Not for long, beloved. Morpheus reassures you, only taking solace in the fact that you won’t be subjected to his sibling’s noxious presence for very long. A few days at most.
“A few days, I can do that,” you breathe out, steeling yourself for a few tense days before everything returns to normal. You hug Morpheus to your chest for comfort, which the Endless certainly is pleased about, until the small cardboard boxes arrive to package up the cats for transport.
Morpheus’ ears go flat on his head, and a soft rumble emerges from his throat. Desire slips far away from you, clearly understanding what’s going to happen. Destiny, Death, and Despair wouldn’t care about being shut in the cat carriers, but Dream, Desire, and Delirium are probably going to be another story!
“The quicker you get into the carriers, the faster we can get home, and the faster you can get out of the carriers,” you announce to the cat Endless. The cardboard carriers are lined up, and you’re happy to see that Destiny and Death don’t hesitate to walk over and climb in one—they’re sensible enough. Desire glares at the boxes in disdain but ultimately sulks over, calling for his twin at the same time. All that’s left are Dream and Delirium.
Delirium is still bouncing off the walls and playing with every little thing she can get her paws on before getting distracted by another object… and Morpheus is still covering you in his scent and refusing to ease his claws out of your shirt.
“Morpheus, my love, box,” you chide him while peeling his claws from your shirt. “I need to get Delirium into a box before she gets out of the room and we have to chase her down.” Your boyfriend couldn’t look more pathetic than he does when you place his massive body in the extra-large box and close it up. Sighing, you stand up and look at Delirium.
She’s currently pawing at the space beneath a storage cabinet. Something has caught her attention.
“Delirium?” you call, and the Bengal turns towards you, revealing one blue and one green eye. “It’s time to go to my home. You can play around there as much as you want.” The youngest Endless blinks at you, and for a moment, you think she’s going to ignore your words and go back to bouncing off walls… but she runs over to you, full of energy, and launches herself into the box with an excited meow. “Thank you.”
With the six cats boxed up neatly, a worker helps place them on a rolling cart to make transport easy. Of course, you have to fill out paperwork for each of your five new ‘cats,’ but with Morpheus already in their system, it’s not that long of a process. While you finish up the last bits of paperwork, the cats are loaded into your car, and with a profuse apology on your part, you scurry to your car to get the Endless back to your home.
Date Published: 11/13/24
Last Edit: 11/13/24
Masterlist | Next
#dream of the endless#the sandman#dream of the endless x reader#the sandman netflix#lord morpheus#dream the endless#dream the endless x reader#sandman x reader#morpheus x reader#morpheus
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Good, right?
Sukuna x Reader Oneshot | Modern/College AU (i guess) | 777 words
Summary: You and Sukuna have been sent to gather the necessary ingredients for some cooking class. And now you're in an empty storage room. By yourselves.
He kissed me. He fucking kissed me.
You throw your arms up awkwardly and freeze. You can feel his lips against yours, warm and gentle. You don’t know how to react. No, you know how to react. You should push him off immediately. There is no universe in which you’d want Ryomen Sukuna kissing you. Except maybe this one.
He pulls back just barely with the most shit-eating grin on his face. So, naturally, you push him away. But what does that mean now?
“Oho, you’re only just now pushing me away. Why? Because now I know you like it?” he asks, smug as hell. “I absolutely did not like that,” you say, rolling your eyes and looking away.
But taking your eyes off him was a mistake. Because now he’s kissing you again, catching you off guard a second time. But this time his hands are on your hips and he presses his chest against yours. He’s warm and that warmth spreads through your body causing your eyes to flutter shut. You barely realize it but he’s kissed you multiple times now. Your awkwardly placed arms have come to rest against his. But once you feel his skin you’ve got enough presence of mind to push him off. And he lets you, stumbling back slightly with a laugh.
Why did I like that????
“What the hell is wrong with you?! God, you’re so weird.” He just rolls his eyes. “I guess you are too.” “What are you talking about?” “You’re over here kissing one of the bullies you claim to despise so much.” “You’re kissing me, and I don’t even like it!” you say with a huff.
He deadpans. “You’re gonna tell me you didn’t like that? After how many times you let me kiss you? With my hands on your waist. I saw how your eyes flutter closed, you know.”
Damn it.
“I was in shock.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, maybe the first time. Just admit it,” he says, stepping closer with the same smirk. “It’s okay if you like it. I’d actually prefer it that way.”
You sigh, closing your eyes (a mistake you haven’t seemed to learn from) and crossing your arms.
“Of course you would, but I don’t mPH-”
Yeah, he’s kissing you. Again. You catch yourself melting the tiniest bit before you pull away. And of course, Sukuna noticed. Your clue for that is that his grin somehow got cockier. Bastard.
“Are you insane?” “Possibly. No more insane than you.” “I don’t go around kissing random people!” “I only do it if I’m gonna enjoy it. And I’m thoroughly enjoying this. As are you,” he says, leaning into you more.
You panic on the inside about how good feels pressing you against the shelves and-
“Back up!”
He obliges. With a smirk, of course.
“You know, repressing your emotions isn’t a good habit to get into.”
You just roll your eyes. You aren’t even trying to, you just want a moment to accept them for yourself. Or reason them away so you can pretend this never happened at all. Is that so wrong?
You sigh, turning towards the exit.
“Listen, I want nothing to do with you. You and your group just get off on terrifying people who are already a little scared of you. Ew.”
You couldn’t hear the quiet footsteps he was taking over your rant. So when his warm body is suddenly right up against your back you gasp. And when he snakes his arm around your waist you stop breathing. And when his chin ends up on your shoulder it takes everything in you not to make an embarrassing noise.
“Wh-”
You have to cut yourself off because you can barely trust your voice. You can feel his smirk on your neck. You swallow.
“What are you doing?” you whisper. “What does it feel like? Good, right?”
You just about short-circuited after hearing that. Some noise of shock and disapproval came out of your mouth but Sukuna just laughed. After some sort of button-mashing quick-time event in your brain you finally get the presence of mind to try and take control of the situation.
“We’re taking too long. We still have to grab some flour and get back to the demonstration.”
There’s a moment of silence where you’re praying Sukuna will show some mercy. And he does. He actually backs up. Well, of course, he’s laughing the entire time, But a win is a win.
“Fine. I let you off for now. But you know I’m not forgetting about this. It’s only a matter of time until you have to face this again. I’ll make sure of it.”
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reblogs and comments appreciated
#sukuna#ryomen sukuna#ryomen x reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna fanfic#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujustsu kaisen x reader#sukuna x reader#jjk fanfic#jjk oneshot
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"Until you..." part. 8.
Hiromi Higuruma x reader.
Until you came into his life, Hiromi Higuruma had occasionally considered making a change within himself—mentally, emotionally, and physically—but he had never taken the idea with the seriousness it truly required.
Until you came along.
And now, here he was, tossing and turning in his bed, the blankets strewn about at his feet and tangled between his legs. Low grumbles and muttered curses escaped him as he rubbed his hands over his face, almost violently, and made a faint, barely perceptible pout.
“I just want to sleep. God, please help me sleep…” he whispered under his breath, attempting once more to close his eyes, only to open them twenty-eight seconds later.
He stared up at the ceiling, once again thinking about how, indeed, your presence had changed so much in him. So much so that he was making a mental list of the things he considered wrong in his life and that he might change.
But part of him thought this whole situation was rather ridiculous and amusing. Who would have thought he’d be planning to alter his routine, his habits, his surroundings, even himself... just because he’d met you?
But it wasn’t a joke, not in the slightest. In fact, he took it as a sign that he should do it. It wasn’t that he thought of you as “ridiculous and amusing.” No.
No.
Not at all. That would be the last thing he’d think. He felt that way about himself—about how he was feeling now and how he wanted to change because of your presence.
Reflecting on it more deeply, something he was reluctant to do out of fear—fear, obviously, of discovering the truth—he realised it was entirely because of you. Thanks to you. Because of you.
For you.
Hiromi had come to realise he had good qualities, clear values, and “positive” things. But putting it all on a scale… What weighed more? His good or bad traits? His good or bad habits? Was he worth it? Could he be “someone important”... to someone?
Could he… be the right man for someone?
For you?
He swallowed and turned over in bed, his charcoal-coloured hair becoming even more dishevelled. He found himself curling up into a small ball, feeling more vulnerable than ever. And, at that moment, two tears escaped his eyes.
“What should I do, God? What do you want me to do?” he thought, his hands covering his eyes, ashamed at the idea of crying again.
And the answer appeared in his mind, clear as the first glimmer of dawn, like a light at the end of a dark tunnel, like a choir of angels in the midst of an infernal storm…
Don’t be afraid. Make the changes you deem necessary. Do it for yourself.
And it was at that moment he opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling—frightened, yet euphoric at the same time. His heart felt as if it were about to leap from his chest. He sat up in bed and then let his legs dangle over the side.
He stood, and with slow but steady steps, turned on the light in the small living room. Rummaging through the papers, he found a small notepad and a pen. “Damn, this is real,” he muttered aloud to himself.
Almost running in his nervousness, he went to the table and sat at the edge. With trembling hands, he wrote:
“Things I want to change about myself.”
And he felt that his world, in that very moment, had indeed changed. He had taken the first step. Thanks to you. Thanks to your existence. He found himself writing item after item, planning everything, and his trembling gradually subsided.
Another list. “Things I want to change about my flat.”
Yet another. “Things I want to change about my office.”
“Things I want to learn.”
“Things I want to do.”
“Things I want to improve in.”
And from the early hours of dawn, where the stars adorned the beautiful night sky, to when the first rays of sunlight began to seep through the windows, Hiromi Higuruma was planning, researching, and making changes.
When he finished, he decided it was finally time to prepare to go to work. And he did so lightly, feeling more at ease with himself. Happy, expectant, with a faint smile.
And until you came into his life, Hiromi Higuruma had occasionally considered making a change within himself—mentally, emotionally, and physically—but he had never taken the idea with the seriousness it truly required.
Until you came along.
#fanfic#higuruma hiromi#hiromi higuruma#hiromi higuruma x reader#hiromi jjk#hiromi x reader#jjk#jjk headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk higuruma#jjk x you#higuruma hiromi x reader#higuruma x reader#jujutsu kaisen higuruma#jujutsu higuruma#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x yn#fanfiction#x reader
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thoughts while watching episode 2! ☆
summary: necessary amount of love for jinx, unnecessary amount of child hate lmao
oh my baby girl i love u it's ok don't be sad please
jinx focused episode let's gooo
me: omg was that a flash of powder?!
*rewinds*
me: ...who the fuck is that.
me: oh no. oh no. this kid is important enough to make it to the intro, jinx is going to take care of this child isn't she. that sure is... a choice
oh no the kid is here
ugh for me personally the only thing worse they could have done is make her pregnant or have a baby. i hate storylines like this im so sorry. it's different when the parent-child relationship is like the main focus or the premise of the show/movie (the mandalorian, the last of us, the walking dead game, silco taking care of powder who's the main character), but when a random ass child shows up years late to the party and needs someone to take care of them and the child character has no previous connection to the audience... i really dislike that in stories im so sorry. leave jinx alone
also, in what world is jinx ready to be a mother figure to anyone lmao she's very much stuck in a child-like state herself half the time. this is not what she needs, we both deserve better
i like the child's design though
honestly, i hope arcane makes me take all that i just said back, but we'll see
jinx i love you
her voice is so good, the voice acting is sooo good oh my god
does she kinda have a different vibe or is it just me?
honestly thought she would be doing a lot worse than she is. good for her!
don't get me wrong, i get that from the orphan's point of view jinx just saved her life and she's clearly super strong, what else is she supposed to do than follow
what i'm saying is that i personally do not want jinx to take care of a child right now. i want this to be about the sisters. the fact that i don't like this is on me, the writers can obviously do whatever they want with their story buuut.....
sevika<3
can't wait for her and jinx to team up
wait does sevika even know that jinx was the one who killed silco?
i don't know what's going on with viktor and whatever he's saying here is not helping
did she though?
everything viktor does now is so slow. the way he speaks, the way he moves...
im not a jayvik girlie but i imagine that those who are felt rly sad after this scene
ekko my boy! the biker mouse from mars can speak?
my brother: he really does look like one
i literally facepalmed and my brother groaned
ekko please ditch this creature you're better on your own
shut up. you're not cute, you're not funny.
i should probably clarify that heimer is my least favourite character in the show, i kinda have no patience for anything he does 😂
i literally said DO IT JAYCE out loud
this made me laugh
same, ekko, same.
can we talk about the way he's holding the cup lol
it's also kinda funny and kinda sad at the same time that this is probably his first time tasting tea
SHUT UUUUPPPP
i screamed
vi? nooo, what the hell 😫 i thought it was the bad guys after her but no it's VI? don't hurt jinx like this, don't hurt me like this
the animation is making me feel like i'm the one who can't breathe damn
hasn't my girl been through enough?? stooooppp
this looked really cool though
there's no way those were the only two times he saw her cry
also, she's insane, blinking and getting even closer. i am obsessed with her
YESSSHHHH
after getting her ass kicked by vi and jinx repeatedly in season 1, i have a feeling this is a battle she's finally going to win 😆
the whole-body movement she did here, so cute, i love her so much 😭
GET JINXED OMG!!!!!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙
holy shit you can always trust arcane with fight scenes
my brother: no one does fight scenes better than arcane.
me: i know right?! that was so good! best scene in season 2 so far!
brother: yep.
oh wow ok. girl, 1st of all, ew. 2nd of all, that thing was like 80% machine what was there left for you to eat? 3rd of all... this begs the question, what do these people eat, exactly? do they draw the line at cannibalism but everyone else is fair game? huh.
i doubt the people in piltover eat like this
no, let's not do that<3
what is he, jesus? this is a bit too much.
#arcane#arcane season 2#jinx#sevika#viktor#ekko#not my brother thinking ekko's name is AJAX 💀#silco#mine
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hilarious that with each new day that passes a new bit of dirt from JD Vance's past gets discovered and plastered over the internet...it's almost as if this is why presidential campaigns have always announced their running mates well before the convention...so that if glaring issues with a candidate came to light quickly there would be time to replace them on the ticket before they were officially locked in...it's almost as if certain things in political campaigns were done for a reason, donald...because the very same critical failures had happened before...but no i'm sure you and your guys attempt to recreate a fantasy version of history while ignoring all the reasons that history was a disaster will work this time...because you are built different and the 10000th time trying fascism will work like a charm...
#us politics#politics tw#i view the MAGA movement like this:#the conservatives have been desperately trying to jam a square peg into a round hole for a very long time#and they keep trying because one of these times its GOT to work! a very long time ago they heard the hole was more squarelike#so if they just TRY hard enough it will work!#failing to understand that the hole has become weathered and changed over time and the solution they are trying#will never work (if it ever did)#and then donald trump comes along and looks at the square peg#lobs one of the corners off and proclaims 'this is a triangle! THIS will work! I am so smart!'#and everyone around him is like 'whoa! this guy gets it! he's a genius and understands the problem! he's our savior!'#ignoring the fact that the peg is not a fucking triangle. it's just a deformed square now#so its still not going to work. and even if it WAS a triangle it still wouldn't work because THE HOLE IS ROUND.#it's the same damn peg but it looks a little different so everyone thinks its a genius solution that is DEFINITELY going to work#so they're all excited! they're FINALLY going to prove those idiots trying different types of oval pegs wrong!#they were right all along and it just took donald trump to see it! thank goodness he came along!#but that's just it-- he WAS just COMING ALONG. he was just walking by and saw an opportunity. he never spent time trying to make pegs#all he did was saw a crowd and took a chance to break an already failing peg even further#but because the people were desperate and it was different enough it seemed revolutionary#and now some of the conservatives--who can still see that the 'triangle' peg isnt a triangle are starting to look around#and see that elsewhere there have been some who have forced a triangle into the center of the round hole#and these people think well what if we ACTUALLY tried a real triangle?#and it does not matter to them in the slightest that it will never be the true solution to filling the hole#they just want credit for solving the problem#and so they are going to back donald trump and when the time is right put a real triangle in his hand#while the people trying ovals are busy arguing over the right type of oval#and once the triangle has been jammed into that hole...well...#it is going to be really really hard to force out#anyway thats a long and complicated metaphor and i probably should have just put it in its own post aaaaaahgh#long story short dont be a fascist triangle alright
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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it is so insanely frustrating for me to be the only person working who has an ounce of Disaster Thinking because it means I'm the only person who says "hey, this has a possibility of not going well, we should be ready for that" and get dismissed out of hand because I'm thinking too hard about things. And then that eventuality HAPPENS and everyone's like oh no how unfortunate. Yeah if only someone saw that coming and proposed a solution beforehand.
#alda rambling#Ok yeah I am riddled with the anxieties and a lot of the time I AM thinking way too hard.#But not at work! And also Im logical! We are working with PEOPLE I feel like its okay to be extra cautious-#-when things going wrong means people feel bad and potentially we have to send in a notice#Also boss I respect you but you're in the office#You do not have the same experience as the people who work the actual job all day every week.#So just fffffffucking listen to me.#'Hey this means i wont be able to step out unless someone else covers me.' 'Its NOT that big of a DEAL-'#I KNOW ITS NOT IM LITERALLY JUST SAYING. WE TALKED ABOUT INFORMATION SHARING IN THE MEETING I AM JUST FUCKING SAYING IT.#Ok I'm done. God damn. Mondays am I right
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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My (sorta) ex trying to be a jerk: "I bet if I locked you and your friends in a cabin together it would just end with all of you lazy sluts fucking each other in a big lesbian orgy in less than a day"
Me in my head: "Mmng,,, all my friends,,, fucking each other 🥰 💕"
#ok tho like is there something wrong with me?#is it weird to think about your friends like that??#bc like#ngl my first reaction was just like “damn how have I never thought of that fantasy before??”#is it bad??#like I feel weird and bad about it#bc I know (most of) my friends aren't like that#but at the same time fuck I just kinda wosh she was right I want platonic sex so bad#only done it like technically once or twice but it's so fucking nice#god... why did it take me so long to realize monogamy doesn't suit me... I crush on so many people literally all the time...#I really need to figure myself out I think...#personal#void#relationships#poly yearning#exes#exestential crisis#polyamory#might delete idk#hornyposting
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So glad I watched this anime, I love the main girlie. I too wish to be a jellyfish instead lmao
#my ass thought this would be like a Cinderella type where kuranosuke would be like a fairy god mother#proven wrong and right at the same time#i cannot wait to finish the manga#the ending song was so good too like shit damn#“I really want you ro realize you're gorgeous”#well damn okay#princess jellyfish#Princess Jellyfish#anime#Anime
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everytime i think im done ranting i remember something else LMFAO this one is extra long i hit tag limit god mf damn
#self#for instance.....my mom wants me to cut off everyone who is still tied to the school#and im so mad at myself for feeling a certain type of way when the campus manager called me not too long ago basically to tell me she doesnt#trust the girl who did this shit and she wasnt mad at me but was also mad at me for bringing her to her dads house#for reference we were trying to get a cat from the campus managers dads house LMFAO#and i honestly cannot wait to speak to her again and be like 😔 god dammit you were right like you were every single time#i just dont understand the wiring in her head to think the shit she says and does to people is normal and okay and how she doesnt realize it#is literally a mental health break. when i finally told my mom the first thing she said was shes probably off her medication#which.....probably isnt wrong sadly coming from someone who has borderline and very easily can lose it#but the difference is i dont give in to the urges to try to hurt everyone around me in every way i can#and me and her have said before that we thought she might also have borderline because we were very similar#but god damn does she love proving that if she has it its extremely severe or its something else entirely#on an honest note. shes incredibly narcissistic and i know her mom is part of the reason shes that way bc she was given princess treatment#her entire fucking life and then doesnt understand when other people dont treat her the same way#i hate rambling about this and i hate it that it is bothering me so fucking bad but like ???#if youre going to decide that you can put our past aside period and move on then fucking do that and stop bringing the past up as a way to#hurt me and the people around you???? she acts like shes not done horrible fucking things to people. so sorry i wrote a letter that was very#honest at the time. so sorry that when you found out i apologized for it and said i regret it because 2 weeks after my apology i no longer#regret writing it. if its making school a living hell for you....theres probably a reason for that girlfriend#i am not the person who put that shit in your folder#though i seriously fucking doubt its actually in her folder shes probably assuming it is#and youre the one who made a complete ass of yourself to every educator that ever stepped foot in that building#that has nothing to do with me that you are a literal warning given to every new educator!!!! i havent even been in school there in months#yet IM the problem??? how am i the problem when i graduated in fucking january???? everything since then falls on you#AND YET AGAIN! MIGHT I MENTION! IT IS NOT JUST MY LETTER!!! THERES AT LEAST 2 OTHER ONES!!!!!#BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON SHE DOES THIS SHIT TO!!!!#god sometimes i sit back and realize that theres a reason she regresses as a person and i do not#im not going to sit still anymore and let someone walk all over me and she can thank herself for that#shes who taught me that blocking and running as fast as i can doesnt fix anything#so here we are bitch. youre not blocked and im sure youre sitting at home thinking about how youre right about everything
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So I'm getting in bed, and my Isabelle plushie gets moved around, so of course the lil bell on her... ponytail? rings with the movement. And I'm like "man I really like this sound, I wonder why it's so nice" and I shake her gently.
And then I realise.
It's because she sounds like fucking Iggle Piggle-
#seriously that sound she makes is exactly the same sound iggle piggle makes with his blanket#so I'm gonna assume the comfort stems from me subconsciously remembering iggle piggle and therefore simpler times#and In the night garden is so damn peaceful too (i mean it is the final show on cbeebies before it goes off air for the night)#(of course its gonna be peaceful. its part of the bedtime hour)#actually the bedtime hour always has had really peaceful and sweet cartoons#I'm pretty sure the adventures of abney and teal were like around that time. i could be wrong though#I only know the more recent cartoons they play because of when my little brother would actually watch live channels#the clangers is so silly but calm and moon and me is basically in the night garden but toys (and moon baby is the cutest thing ever)#and then it always ends with in the night garden. it's been like that for probably twenty years. the final show is in the night garden#also the bedtime hour song. nostalgic#right okay how did i get here reminsicing on cbeebies cartoons I'm not even sure#rambling
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the thing is. I've said many times that it'd probably be better if I didn't post on here so much, especially when I'm not doing so great. it does not feel good. but. when I don't, it just all stays inside my head and it feels so much worse for far longer, so I really just don't know how I would cope without this.
#I mean I used to write in my diary instead. but it's not the same. it's like talking to myself which is like thinking which is the whole#damn problem in the first place#I can't bother my friends every time I feel like shit because it happens so much#and they don't get it#except my best friend but I already message them too much and they have their own shit going on#it's either this or lie in bed imagining [current blorbo] and talking it all out with them and basically just. daydreaming therapy.#but that tends to not be great because then I get stuck and don't want to do anything else because I'd rather be there forever.#which. idk but it doesn't feel that healthy to me.#I juuust want to be normal it's all I want it's all I've ever wanted#and then people say being weird is good and they love me for who I am and it's so so sweet and lovely but. I don't mean that. I mean I feel#like I'm insane and there's something wrong with my brain and it's not the fun quirky bits that people love about me. it's the never ending#constant relentless bad thoughts that I can't make go away OR even the good ones really. like I'm. so fucking obsessed right now and all I#want is to think about Dan and Jenkins but if I'm not careful it takes over everything and I. can not stop.#so. yeah I'm. not gonna leave because I can't and I don't really want to and I'm sorry because that means I'll have to keep posting#dumb shit like this every time my brain gets stupid#😭
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i like the idea of mc and the brothers all sitting in the common room gossiping and talking shit together at the end of the week
#and it’s like the only time the brothers r all on the same page and not being assholes to one another#don’t get me wrong it definitely can happen and can end up with them all arguing and storming off BUT#it starts off good#lucifer doesn’t gossip he just sits and drinks wine and revels#unless he drinks a lil TOO much. then he’s talking shit and everyone has their attention completely on him bc damn this guy has shit to say!#prime gossipers tho are satan and asmo 100%#belphie is one on the dl he hears EVERYTHING bc everyone thinks he’s asleep#the thing is he’s just “oh was that something i should’ve shared with you guys?’’ like he’s just sitting on the biggest drama EVER and#doesn’t say anything bc he just doesn’t think to do so. but when he does >>>>#he says the most wildest shit so nonchalantly and acts surprised when others have a bigger reaction#anyway 🤝. i have every right to project onto belphie. we r one in the same#him: *sleeps all the time* me: omg he’s just like me fr ‼️#dang these tags r long as fuck i didn’t think i typed THAT much. anyway goodnight lol
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