#it's so weird because there actually are ideas in there that could and should be explored

[oldtvandcomics]

A thing I haven't seen pointed out anywhere re. 2024 Doctor Who Christmas Special: The whole creating a star as an infinite energy resource thing. THAT'S THE EYE OF HARMONY. Was the Very Evil Corporation trying and almost succeeding in creating an Eye of Harmony?! Because that would be... kind of important to talk about???

[bunni-v1]

Having a laugh at the thought of instead of Mistletoe, Outer Ring has a different tradition that instead of kissing under a mistletoe they fight(MistleFoe)

I imagine reader has no idea that their tradition is completely different from what most people know it as and is trying everything they can to catch Lighter underneath one, much to Lighter’s confusion(if he even notices readers attempts).

Once they actually end up underneath one, Lighter tries to protest the fight but is silenced as reader just grabs him and kisses him?? As reader pulls away Lighter just stares dumbfounded not really processing what happened, but once he does his whole face just flushes as he tries to keep his cool while also figuring out what that was for???(not that he’s complaining ofc)

That shit is so funny. Oblivious x Oblivious is my favorite honestly. It’s like an awful game of cat and mouse where he’s trying to outsmart and dodge you and you’re trying so hard to get him under the fucking mistletoe. You don’t even notice the pattern of fights going on around you, all you wanna do is kiss that stupidly handsome mug of his.

He’s good at dodging it when you’re around, not wanting to have to fight you. But god you’re making it so hard when you stalk him like a wildcat, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, only to be thwarted when he practically runs through doorways to avoid it. It kinda stings a little, because why wouldn’t he want to kiss you? Are you not good enough to kiss? It doesn’t deter you, but it does make your heart ache a little.

Meanwhile Lighter is so fucking confused as to why you want to fight him so badly. He thought things were going good with you two, why do you wanna catch him under the mistletoe? If you wanted to fight him you could just ask (he wouldn’t say yes), but why were you going about it in such a roundabout way? Your quirks were usually cute but this was just weird…

Unfortunately for Lighter, you always get your way with him. He allows himself to let his guard down for five minutes, and then your pulling at his sleeve with a smirk pointing up at the mistletoe. Since you technically won, he was going to give you what you wanted, albeit a little reluctantly. He didn’t know why you wanted to fight him so badly.

“Y’know, we don’t gotta do anything, this tradition is kinda stupid anyway,” He tries one last time to negate you, but you pout at him so cutely he can’t help but give in.

He turns to find a better place to tussle than the tiny doorframe of Cheesetopia, but you grab the edge of his jacket and tug him back. He has all of three seconds to be confused before you’re tugging him down for a sweet kiss. Not what he expected, but he wasn’t complaining as he kissed you back.

You leave him hot and bothered when you pull away, a self satisfied smirk on your face before you turn and saunter away. His face is bright red, and all he can do to calm himself is press his hand to his mouth and look at Kasa with a desperate “What the fuck?” kind of look.

She smiles at him, shrugging, “Maybe you should go after them…”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

[meanbossart]

some questions about du drow and his blood magic sorcerer stuff (because i'm so damn curious about lore and sorcerer is one of my favourite classes haha). how did he become a sorcerer? did bhall create him that way and only grant him access to those powers later? did du drow just... not realise he had them until he joined the cult of bhall? did he suddenly stop being a sorcerer after he was infected with the tadpole? does he still have access to those powers but he just doesn't use them? does he still use them but not to the same caliber as before? i can understand not having them after being killed by bhaal and subsequently resurrected by withers, but if they are cut off at a different point, what causes that?

i think that's all the questions i have... sorry if they're too many 😅

(Technically there are indirect spoilers for A Novel Experience in this answer but I don't think its particularly egregious. EITHER WAY I figured I'd mention it.)

I guess sorcery is something bestowed upon him by matter of being a God's spawn, but there's no solid answer here and in truth, it's anyone's guess! He was born with these powers and had a vague but progressive knowledge of their existence as he developed. As I've mentioned before, DU drow killed his foster mother and partner at the age of 10 or 11 - he is not supernaturally strong now (well, I mean that he's only as strong as you would expect a 6'5", 250lbs man to be), and he certainly wasn't back then, either - It was thanks to his sorcery streak that he could take them out at all and swiftly. From that point on, he also had to escape the Underdark all by himself, where said powers probably came in clutch.

I believe that as DU drow grew older, a mixture of forgetfulness and aversion played a role in him pushing the thought of it out of his mind. He did not practice his powers at all as a teenager and focused entirely in what his body was physically capable of doing and enduring - he was often hungry, hurting and lonely, whatever weird blood magic he spurred up as a child, bore no relevance now. In truth, his powers are pretty useless for any purpose besides quickly killing something or healing himself.

It's worth noting too that this sorcery thing is purely in service of lore; DU drow is not a character that I play table-top with and so, his sorcery isn't supposed to function exactly like it would in a game. He has a blood magnetism/molding type power based closely off the Blood Magic's homebrew additional spells. He doesn't have cantrips or domain over any other type of magic like a caster character normally would.

DU drow can only do the following: Hemorrhagia: An AoE spell that draws blood out of a creature's orifices by forceful, magical means until either the caster's concentration is broken or all affected creatures perish. Ineffective against undead or constructs. (Based on the 6th level spell Haemorrhage from the aforementioned homebrew)

Universal Recipient: The human body is like a balm, and DU drow is but a pile of meat-putty; The blood and flesh of others can be absorbed to quicken the healing of small wounds, retain the vitality of the caster, and even regenerate the function of body parts. This also makes him immune to all blood diseases, but not to all blood conditions. This is actually a passive. (Based off of "Theft Of Life".)

(I have a desire to expand upon this but my other ideas are currently irrelevant and/or undercooked. So I'll leave at that for now.)

This is based on his theoretic conception (literally a piece of meat slabbed off of a dead god), and should also explain how he would have been able to survive infancy, childhood, and later, Kressas's experiments.

Upon joining the Bhaalist temple, DU drow would come to better understand and utilize his powers, but it was often more of a threat/punishment used against his own followers rather than something ever employed against victims. He always preferred getting up-and-personal with targets and sacrifices rather than resorting to sorcery, though naturally he still enjoyed the benefits of being Universal Recipient at all times.

DU drow does not recall ever possessing these powers following his brain being scrambled and the tadpole inserted. I can also tell you right now that triggering them by accident is impossible - his rejection of Bhaal as well as his death at the temple, however, did not nullify them. Once again, Universal Recipient does remain in-effect, but the benefits enjoyed by someone who's unaware of how that power functions is far too subtle for DU drow to chuck it up to anything outside the normal range of weirdness that surrounds him. As far as his friends and himself are concerned, he just heals really well sometimes.

Thanks for being curious about it! I had been holding onto this for so long, LOL. I'm glad to finally have a reason to get into it.

[vengefultakeover]

Daemon: Surprise Guest (3)

NOTE: This is the newest edited version of this story

I let my eyes drift open after having spent the entire night with Max. The now open windows let in a much light as possible now that Max was inside a body. Safe to bask in the beams. I found him standing out in the living room, looking out at Crystal Cove and wearing nothing but a tight pair of underwear. I sit down on the sofa and admire him while he enjoys the warmth.

Eventually, he joins me, slipping his hand over my thigh while getting comfortable on the coffee table, "I'm really starting to enjoy being human." He leans his head on a hand, eyes glowing a beautiful green.

"Starting to?" I chuckled.

"You know what I mean." He leans into me, pushing be back onto the cushion in the same positions we were in the night before. We kiss as my hands slide along his abs and then around his waist, pulling him closer to eliminate the space between us.

"What?" I ask as he pulls away.

"I think I should find a permanent body." He pushed his bulge against mine, looking at me as his eyes return to the normal color.

"Permanent?" I scrunch my face slightly, we were having so much fun hopping from body to body.

"I think I want to create an identity now that I'm free from the island. You know? Not just Max, but like Max the human. Someone you want me to be if you wanted - I owe you so much for helping me survive. You have no idea what you've done for me." He pushed his head onto my shoulder and I felt him breathing, his heart pounding in his chest. Was he nervous?

"Really?" I was blushing. "Well, if it's going to be someone new, I think we should really consider who it should be. But I shouldn't be the one who picks. You should decide what your future is." I push my hand through his hair and we cuddled there, staring at each other.

"When I was back on the island, there were a lot of snobby college kids who thought they were better than the rest because they came from money. The one's who were specially invited were just part of Mondavarious' plan to accumulate power and wealth. I guess technically it was Scrappy, but that's the past. I'm here with you, now, and I'm loving every second of it. I feel more free than I ever have."

"What did I do?" I shrugged.

"You were kind to me." He responded.

We were listening to each other's heartbeat when there was a knock at the door, one that sounded pretty aggressive. I slid out from underneath Max and ran to look through the keyhole. The man on the other side was handsome in a blue varsity jacket. I could have sword I had seen him before, but I couldn't put my finger on it. He looked gruff, and something about him made my cock stir.

Max came up behind me, grabbing my waist and taking a look through the peephole. His face dropped and his eyes flashed green before he calmed down and they became Alex's brown. I was confused, but I played along when he pushed me behind the door and opened it, keeping me out of sight.

"Hey, man, I got a call from one of your neighbors about seeing a creature lurking outside the building? It's tall, purple-ish skin, have you seen anything like it?" The man's voice was so familiar that I realized who it was and why Max was afraid. It was Fred Jones.

"Nah, man, just the normal stuff around here. I go running often and I think I would have seen something like that." He flexed his pecs, taking on the personality of Alex which was actually really hot to witness. Max was playing it off, even laughing the way my asshole neighbor used to when he thought he said something slick.

"Alright," Fred sighed, "take my card, if you see anything please don't hesitate. I'm Fred Jones from the Jones detective agency."

"I know who you are."

"You do?" Fred squinted.

"Yeah, I have a TV. I remember you from back in the day. What was it, Mystery Company or something?"

"Mystery Incorporated," Fred rolled his eyes, "please let me know if you see anything weird."

"Will do." Max started to close the door, but was suddenly stopped by Fred's shoe.

"Hey, do you mind if I come in for a drink of water? I've been chatting with all the neighbors and I am parched." He started to walk inside, but Max immediately extended his arm and held the door to prevent Fred from entering.

"Hey, bro, you can't just do that." Max pushed him back and as he stumbled back Fred caught my eyes peering through the hinges. Fuck.

"No worries." Fred dusted himself off and readjusted himself before walking towards the stairs. As Max closed the door, I rushed over to the window and looked down at the parking lot. Sure enough, the mystery machine was parked in the lot with its faded paint. Fred appeared from the entrance and had his phone up to his ear.

"Yeah, I think it's here. There was something weird about this one apartment," he leaned against the van, "no, I'm not - listen with the Daemon Ritus gone and this creature wreaking havoc doing who knows what we have no idea what is actually happening. Anything that solves the mystery, right?" He looked up at our window and I threw myself backwards to avoid being caught. Max was there to catch me in his arms.

"Thank you." I said with a smile. I dusted myself off.

"I'm sorry. I think I may have caused some trouble." Max had this apologetic look on his face that was super cute.

"No need to apologize. I know you said you wanted something more permanent, but I think we might need to get you a new temporary skin." I said, going to the kitchen and pulling out the jar. There was now a couple layers of tape around the lid for extra security. We were going to need to find a new body, but this time we were going to have find them.

We enjoyed ourselves as we got dressed for a night out in Crystal Cove, putting on our best club attire. Max's body had a closet filled with clothing meant to show off his sexy body and I had thrown something together from my own closet, making sure to leave the top buttons undone to show a little bit of my chest.

"You look nice," Max said, unbuttoning another button to show a little bit more and sliding a finger inside the shirt, "now let's go have some fun."

The music was loud and I involuntarily nodded my head as we walked in together. I had been here before, one of my favorite local hangouts with a wild history. The back parts of the building was a local mine shaft that had closed down and eventually the city sold it after some drama with the buyers and it became Crystal Cove's hottest spot for the gay scene. I like coming in during brunch for the drag shows.

"Can I get a gin and tonic. He'll have a - " I looked over at Max who was already dancing in spot, " - two gin and tonics plus a tequila shot. That's for me."

"You brought a friend tonight?" Mel was a very talented bartender and they tossed the glasses and bottles around like it was nothing. They quickly poured the tonics and then dressed the shot glass, covering the rim in salt before pushing the lime slice onto the glass. I passed Max's drink to him and then slid my card to the Mel.

"On the house. I'm glad you're seeing someone." They winked at me and then walked over to help another club goer. Max bounced from side to side before chugging the drink I have him. I took the shot, trying to save face, and when I looked back at Max he was making a face at the glass.

"What is this? It's disgusting." He put the glass on the bar top.

"I forget you're new to alcohol." I chugged my own drink and just as I put the glass back on the bar Max took my hand and spun me out onto the dance floor. He pulled me into him as we started grinding on each other with the bass bumping around and odd looks abound as this hunk danced with this tall chub. His hands moved into my waistband and I could feel his finger pushing against my ass as I pulled at his back, my fingers getting knotted in his fishnet shirt.

We were still looking for a new body, but we took the time to enjoy each other until we both saw someone watching up. He was sipping from a thin black straw at a booth at the edge of the building. He smirked when we both looked over, a signal. Max went over first, he was, after all, controlling that sexy body. I reached inside my cross body bag and pulled out the covered jar containing Alex and waited for Max to give me the signal.

"He wants both of us." Max came back and whispered in my ear with a grin, took my hand, and brought me back to the stranger. I was in awe as the stranger took us into the back, the cave and all of its mine shafts were still lit and was now used as a hook up spot. The man spun to face up when we reached a corner, pulling me into a kiss. I was taken by surprise, but his lips were so soft and I eventually started easing my hand around his waist. Max slid his hand around our waists and then the stranger kissed him. I took a moment to grasp the jar in my bag and then felt it slip into the dirt below. I used this as an excuse to start unbuttoning the strangers pants.

"Oh, fuck yeah." He said, pushing his groin out obnoxiously as Max continued to make out. Max stepped away for a second and let me take the lead. He took the jar and disappeared into a dark corner to open it. When the stranger went to look, I swallowed his cock and he closed his eyes to moan and enjoy the feeling of my wet mouth. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Max's convulsing body as he swallowed the protoplasm. The stranger was now too preoccupied, shoving my head onto his cock until I was choking, to notice the monster appearing from my neighbors chest. Before he could scream, Max let out a deep breath of green smoke and laid Alex's incapacitated body in comfortable position. I could feel the stranger's cock throbbing as I forced his cock farther down my throat, pre dripping inside of me. I continued to suck even when Max pinned him against the wall, ripping his shirt open and shoving his claws deep into his chest to rip out his protoplasm. He pushed it into the taped up jar and held up his body as he continued to throb in my mouth. After tightening the lid, he pushed himself inside the stranger as his cock continued leaking inside my mouth.

I was finally able to come up for air, stroking his hard cock as Max slid inside his new husk. His cock pulsed in a strange way once I saw the creature's feet lift off the ground and dissipate inside the stranger. His eyes opened and they were the bright green I was getting used to seeing. His leaking cock suddenly exploded as Max stole the climax and moaned out in bliss.

"Let's get out of here." I said, wiping my mouth. Max pulled himself together while I checked on Alex, hoping he would wake up and assume it was a wild night and cough it up to drunken stupor. We headed to the stranger's place, our old apartment no longer a safe haven due to Fred's investigation.

Fred tossed his phone into the van and jumped into the driver's seat. He pushed the back of his seat all the way down and stared at the peeling fabric on the roof of the vehicle. With an eye roll he dozed off and waited for night to come.

The sky was dark when he opened his eyes and the street was quiet except for the occasional drunkard or Uber driver completing their final trips for the night. Fred reached over and grabbed his bag of tools, pushing it onto his shoulders and then stepping out of the van to look up at my apartment complex. Lock picking came easy to him now that he had done it so many times, a skill he learned on the road to compensate for the fact that people thought he was just the dumb himbo face of Mystery Inc.

The door clicked open and he closed it to make sure no one would witness him breaking and entering. With a flashlight, he opened drawers and cabinets, making sure to put everything back in its spot. The search was fruitless, the Daemon Ritus was no where to be found and Fre had no idea where me might get his next lead until he saw the sketchbook left behind by the occupants. He flipped through the pages and tore out the rough sketch I had drawn to help Max communicate. This was his next clue and now Fred knew that this purple daemon had an accomplice.

[gh0stofstarman]

A Ramble about X-Men

I’m a pretty big Marvel comics fan. I’ve had a Marvel Unlimited Subscription since the pandemic and I’ve pretty much run the gamut of heroes. Avengers, Iron Man, Captain America, Captain Marvel, Ms. Marvel, Squirrel Girl, Fantastic Four, Peter Parker Spider-Man, Spider-Gwen, Miles Morales Spider-Man, Spider-Girl, Quasar, Thor, Eternals, Hawkeye, Howard the Duck, What if?, Deadpool, I could go on forever. And I can pick a run for each of these characters that I specifically clicked with a certain author and the themes they chose.

Except X-Men.

Which is ironic, because I love the X-Men shows, the characters, their major themes, their designs, their movies. Heck it’s not like I haven’t read most of Claremont’s run and beyond.

But I’ve never had a run that actually fully clicked with me, and I kinda wanted to ramble about why. No idea if this will be a series or whatever.

Chris Claremont

Admittedly I’ve never really been one to seek out every single spinoff of a series so most of my experience with the “golden age” of X-Men is with the mainline Uncanny X-Men rather than stuff like the New Mutants. I know it’s sacrilege in some circles not to go in full chronological order with the spinoff series bouncing between but I’m just not that way.

Anyways while Jack Kirby and Stan Lee created the blueprint for what would define X-Men on a fundamental level, Chris Claremont would be the author who made the heroes popular. Storm, Colossus, Wolverine, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Banshee … Sunfire, Thunderbird … okay not all of them stuck. But Claremont would write iconic stories that are beloved and I love as well such as the OG Giant Size X-Men comic, Proteus, Days of Future Past, God Loves, Man Kills, and the Dark Phoenix Saga. Stuff that truly gets to the heart of the X-Men fighting against discrimination and hate, proving they deserve a chance to live as they want.

Then that should settle it! I like Chris Claremont, then! These are the most iconic storylines that means I love the most iconic incarnation of the X-Men.

Not really.

Chris Claremont founded a lot of good ideas that would be the springboard used by other authors in years to come. But it’s not as though his stint was as brief as Lee/Kirby or Roy Thomas.

16 years.

And most of what I mentioned is spread far across the first 8.

So what about the bits in-between?

Well, if I had to describe the majority of Claremont’s writing as X-Men outside of these storylines is that it’s kinda a roulette wheel.

This was back in the day where you had to have some bonkers concepts to hook the reader in. Vampires, sci-fi tech, aliens, gods, demons, etc. And most of the time Chris chose a random one to analyze the X-Men under and reevaluate how they can be used for the X-Men’s explicit purpose of fighting against discrimination and promoting equality and diversity.

Which often leads to those aforementioned storylines where they build on this very well. X-Men vs Televangelism does go out into creating weird devices to mind control people but it’s all in service to the team’s message. The bad future the sentinels create in Days of Future Past can easily be seen as a dystopian future where discrimination is normalized.

However sometimes Chris can’t help himself and adds more layers of insanity to the plot, to the point the message kinda gets lost in the mix.

Here’s an example.

X-Men go mysteriously missing, only for Beast to find them working at a circus freak show. Interesting. Leads back to the idea of them being demoralized and treated as freaks rather than real people.

Beast does some snooping around, finding that Magneto is the mastermind behind this. Perhaps he’s trying to humiliate the X-Men and get them to give up their hope for equality seeing how humanity makes fun of them while also getting revenge because he’s the bad guy.

They fight Magneto but are bested in combat. It’s then revealed that Magneto, after being turned into a baby in a previous comic did want revenge, so he took the X-Men to his Antarctic base to … mentally regress them into babies and torture them with a nanny bot.

Huh?

And I’d be lying if I said this sort of weird progression isn’t a repeating theme.

X-Men go to space to fight aliens; makes sense because all the other heroes were fighting aliens so they gotta prove they’re on the level. Alien fighting leads into them meeting Xenomorph-like aliens that slowly transform the X-Men into them; drama is created. X-Men escape but still are transforming, so Storm befriends a space whale and then becomes one to cure everyone; buh?!?!

Like I feel like some of these stories increase the insanity progressively but they go a little step too far. Sometimes it’s just out of nowhere like when demons kidnap the X-Men even though they were never hinted before to care about them, and somehow age up Magik to an adult. Or just Storm becomes a vampire suddenly even though last issue there was nothing even slightly referencing vampires.

It’s kind of a curse because X-Men is constantly trying to get bigger and bigger under Claremont but sometimes you’d prefer it just to take it slow and get back to the more straight forward connections to fighting oppression and discrimination.

Ironically it causes me to appreciate the more mundane moments that aren’t trying to be huge plot twists one on top of each other. Stuff like Kitty Pryde and Storm hanging out, going to Japan and getting to know Wolverine better, Nightcrawler trying to socialize more, and just Beast’s witty banter.

But even that can be a little fumbled at times because well,

Chris Claremont is a straight white guy.

And there’s nothing wrong with that at all. But you can tell he has hang-ups trying to write about race or women because he doesn’t really have those experiences. Therefore, sometimes when he tries to write soliloquies and romances (which is pretty common), sometimes it can fall flat because of his perspective.

There is a lot of romance and relationship drama in X-Men, which is understandable and needed for the narrative. But so much becomes either bland, unintentionally problematic, or just too brief to make any true impact.

I’d say the biggest exception is Jean/Cyclops because they’ve been established for years and it’s very clear they care about each other. However, Jean dies in Dark Phoenix (at least that was the intent of the time) so a lot of the time the series bounces between other couples.

He later meets and then marries Madelyne Pryor, who is noted to look nearly identical to Jean. However that just makes things awkward as Madelyne often plays the role of “Not-Jean.” It at least has an interesting through line of him working through his grief, but little time is actually given for Madelyne’s own agency to break out of “Not-Jean,” which makes it really awkward when it’s revealed she’s a clone of Jean and Jean was alive all this time. So … what was the point?

Charles Xavier has so many love interests but often times he comes off as a jerk. Moira MacTaggart, Liliandra … even at one point Jean herself but everyone buries this for good reason. He comes off as very manipulative both to his partner and the X-Men. Charles is very unsympathetic to Moira’s predicament in raising Proteus. Liliandra he’s willing to bend over backwards for even if it means that he’s breaking his own morals in the process. And we don’t talk about Jean. However this would mostly be used by other authors to analyze how good of a leader Charles is, and more of his flaws. Meanwhile, Chris Claremont normalizes his behavior and rarely calls him out on it.

Colossus and Kitty Pryde.

What can I say about them? Colossus is an adult, Kitty Pryde is still a kid. It’s gross, but Chris wants you to really know they love each other more than a brother-and-sister relationship would. And they even point out it’s creepy, yet they still do it anyways.

Wolverine is entirely a whole other can of worms that I could write about separately.

Ironically some of the relationships that aren’t confirmed because of the times but are implied like Mystique and Destiny or Storm and Stevie are actually a lot better and written with much more nuance. However again nothing is confirmed and could be left to interpretation such as with Storm and Stevie. After all they do try to pair up these characters in straight couples … problematically but still.

Ultimately I feel like Claremont does have a lot of good ideas but the execution of them is where the ball is dropped. I would never call his run bad but I’ve never really felt compelled to return to it. I can’t deny the impact it’s made by any measure. However, returning to the originals just makes you wonder, how did some of this lead to Claremont’s X-Men being held up as an absolute gold standard comic?

I don’t know this was a long rant and I dunno if I’ll do it again. If you liked this let me know

[bloodyinkandquill]

Venomshank x hawk-hybrid pet Reader

ok i actually asked katz-ke for help on this one because like the last one i had no ideas sorry requester, however they helped and gave me some good ideas that definitely gave me more motivation and ideas for this one in general, so thanks again katz!!! you’re amazing i adore your stuff id anyone here doesn’t know who they are go check them out, anyways onto the hcs

- How did you end up here? No genuinely you went from a pet to a deity to instead dating said deity, you’re out here living some simps dream

- You’ve always had an unusual power, hybrids weren’t rare, winged hybrids were on the rarer side, usually only stemming from receiving a blessing from one of the deities, but you were, and on top of being an avian you also could transform into an actual hawk, which was basically unheard of, you also had a rather unique coloration when in bird form, darker then your average hawk with an interesting pattern on your wings

- Which is how you ended up one day in your hawk form, chilling and enjoying being a bird, what? It’s nice to escape the responsibilities of adult life for a little while and you can eat bread a shit, you were chilling when suddenly another bird flew up next to you, at first you thought it was a crow but that didn’t seem right, a raven? No it wasn’t that either, it seemed an odd mix of both corvids but larger and, almost a dark green rather then black, but living in Crossroads you see odd shit a lot so you didn’t dwell on it

- Well that bird seemed to want you to follow it a few minutes later and it lead you to a dropped container of fries, aka the jackpot, you happily started eating them but noticed the other bird wasn’t doing anything, you shrugged it off, probably just already ate its fill and was letting you have yours, after eating you did some sort of appreciative dance, you weren’t fluent in bird language let alone weird corvid language so you hoped it conveyed your thankfulness, you were about to fly off when suddenly the bird changed into a demon, no that’s not it, into one of the Swords

- Holy shit, was all you could think as he scooped you up and started flying away with you but now in his demonoid form, alright this was happening, you must have intrigued him as a bird if he was taking you somewhere, you just let it happen and pretended to still be a regular old bird, maybe if you seemed normal he’d get bored and let you go

- Nope you were now in his temple in a, rather fancy, bird cage, this was not on your weekend itinerary, for a few days it went that he or one of his temple workers would feed you and give you toys and enrichment, you could sort of fly around the cage but it wasn’t big enough to transform back and therefore display you were not a bird, least Venomshank seemed kind enough

- After a few days stuck inside the cage he appeared and said, basically talking to himself, that he should let you out for a good fly, the second he took you out of that cage you transformed back into your demon form with an almost traumatized look on your face as you turned to look at him and his horrified expression, after a conversation he was apologetic about taking you as a pet since he didn’t really you were a demon not an actual bird, you said it was fine but gods you missed having arms

- From there you agreed to live at his temple, you had nowhere better to live and he was offering a free room in exchange for taking care of the birds that resided in the gardens surrounding it, this was one of his smaller temples but it was surrounded by gardens and therefore lots of birds, he’d stop by and check in with you and the rest of the happenings every once in a while, he slowly started to check in more and more until one day suddenly you were dating, you weren’t complaining you just weren’t fully sure how you got there honestly

- Oh my gods you never knew the wonder of preening, you’d never gotten close enough to another demon to preen your wings when in demon form, and definitely not close enough to a bird to preen you in bird form, however now that you had someone who had wings in demonoid form and could also become a bird, he knew exactly how to preen you in both forms and it was heaven, you of course preened him back which he was thankful for, with not seeing Sword as much as when he was a kid he didn’t get a chance to be preened as often so he was so thankful to have someone to help him preen again

- Maybe you didn’t quite have the corvid bird brain of gifting shiny things but you still did have a slight bird brain to the point that you did enjoy collecting and gifting small trinkets and sparklies, and Venomshank being some weird version of a corvid had that instinct but stronger, so you both end up gifting each other small things you find, especially when you go flying together in bird form, which is basically your go-to date, if either of you notice something interesting while flying you’ll dive down and grab it, give it to the other who turns demonoid for a moment to put it in their pocket then back to bird form, luckily the items don’t disappear neither of you know where any of your stuff like clothes or items go when you go bird form but you mutually agreed not to question it

- With the flying dates you also enjoy flying through one of the regions or preferably Crossroads and finding the tallest building around and flying onto the roof to look at all the beautiful lights at night, maybe you’ll switch back to demonoid form but sometimes you prefer to stay as birds where everything looks so much brighter and shinier to your bird eyes, its beautiful and it’s nice knowing that you two are maybe the only two people to ever see the views with a demon brain but bird eyes

- With living in his temple you went from a regular room to the best room in the temple, technically speaking it’s supposed to be his room but before you he almost never spent enough time in that temple to need to use the room, so it became yours and his, which does mean it’s full of a few of his things, which with your slight bird brain only means one thing, nesting, on the floor you set up a nest big enough for both of you to fit in full of pillows, blankets, clothes, and some of the items you gifted each other, and on the desk and actual bird nest, slightly comfier, still sized to fit both of you but this time in bird form, it’s less used but still nice to have

- Since he’s well, Venomshank one of the swords he has to leave for occasionally weeks at a time, which makes you more thankful for the nest to have something with his scent and feathers in for when your missing him, once he returns from his duties you’ll be in that nest for at least the next two days together, not that you mind but if anyone walks into the room they’ll see a mess of feathers and the occasional body parts making so many freaking cooing sounds

- Speaking of cooing sounds both of you make bird noises in and out of bird form, it’s more common in bird form but it’s still not uncommon to coo or squawk in demonoid form, you coo and trill with each other, make squawks and chirps, sometimes it sounds like a gods damn bird sanctuary when you’re both around, you also can sort of communicate with the bird noises which is nice as well

- He gives you a necklace or earring, with just one of his feathers, it takes you a moment to realize it’s his shiniest best feather, not quite a proposal but more of a promise ring, you wear it with pride and do the same finding your best feather to give him in exchange, he puts it in his hat and somehow when in bird form you now both have a feather, not attached to you but buried into your feathers so it doesn’t fall out, of each other’s, he has one of your hawk feathers and you have one of his… corvid feathers, neither of you understand the logistics of how that works but again you have up questioning it

hope this is good again thanks so much katz-ke for the help!! this was fun to write once i got into the groove of it honestly, alright i made a deal with myself once i wrote this id let myself reread a fanfic i love so im off to do that toodles

[joeloverture]

ok, more on this because apparently i have to say all of this. if responding to it makes the hate worse i honestly could not give less of a fuck about it than i already do. i am here to express myself so u best believe that is what my ass will be doing!!

this is gonna be a bit long and a bit winded bc ive been keeping this close to my chest for a while.

i genuinely don't fucking write for an audience. if i was writing for an audience you'd have never seen me post fair's fair. you'd have never seen me writing flesh currency! i write what i want. when i'm horny. when i want to make other people horny (i guess?). when i feel like it. when im healthy enough to do it.

no my fics are not the magnum opus. no they arent being strung up in the goddamn louvre. that isnt what im trying to do. i juice joy out of my fanfic writing and am KIND enough to put it on the internet for others to enjoy if they so wish. nobody is holding you at gunpoint to read my "shit writing".

fanfic writers either dont post enough or they post too much you really, really gotta pick one.

i spent like 5 months on hiatus in debilitating pain and was in and out of the hospital for a few weeks out of those months. i couldnt even write a goddamn diary entry. you have no idea how happy i am to have my creative voice back.

its... my winter break. of fucking course im writing lol i dont have anything else to do!!!! there's nothing else id rather be doing because i actually like this!

id rather write as a hobby than crank out anon hate, personally. maybe that's a me issue?

then, a bit more on identity and the role of identity in all of this

ive had to start counting the amount of anons i get with hateful slurs in them. since coming back i've been called the r slur. the f slur. the c slur. the b slur. everything in the fucking book. not only is it uncreative, its regressive.

y'all either dont like me because im annoying or blatantly showing autistic traits or outspoken abt being marginalized or bc you dislike my writing or because you have absolutely nothing better to do (the latter of which is particularly pathetic)

regardless you are weaponizing my identity to either try to terrorize me in general or drive me off of this site. think about how weird that is.

also so many of these asks are laden with an undercurrent of ableism. like, oh my god, the disabled girl is posting a lot ! woah! holy shit! call the fucking news outlets!

oh my god, the disabled girl is showing autism traits on main!!!! should we call autism speaks? should we invite sia?

this isnt even me defending myself, i feel no obligation to defend myself against these fuckers. i just did want to arrange my thoughts for the dash. sometimes talking helps me compose that sort of thing.

[kitts-mechanix]

Thank you! And yeah, Megatron becoming an Autobot....I don't know, that just feels weird and rushed to me, talk about becoming the very thing you vowed to destroy....

Oh....my....gosh....I can't....Megatron going crazy and hurting Starscream (who wants to die at this point) because he enjoys it and is basically a psycho. If Starscream turns into an actual serial killer it's all gonna be Megatron's fault....

I've always wondered what the Seeker Trine family dynamic was like before Megatron took over, a friend and I have been tossing around some ideas but I definitely think Megatron fractured the siblings' relationship, mainly thanks to Starscream internalising that abusive behaviour.

Yeah, Shockwave and Soundwave kinda get tossed around a lot too. What's really sad is that in one G1 episode Starscream had the chance to ally with Shockwave, but then he subjected him to the same ridicule Megs did to him, and he basically ruined their chance to become allies. Poor Starscream can't have relationships with anybody.

Ahhh oh my gosh thanks 😭It's complicated and something I'm still developing but basically I want Starscream to not just experience love, but learn to give it too. He doesn't treat Arcane as well as he should and sometimes he kinda takes advantage of her/dishes out his anger on her, but he also like that she cares for him so much even though he's stumped at the idea of unconditional love. That and he's afraid she'll hurt him like everyone else has, and he just can't take that. I love thoughts of Starscream limping into the medic bay and Arcane hurries over to him and starts fixing him up and talking to him and he just feels....heard? Appreciated? Like whenever he gets hurt....she comes and heals him.

Star can be a bit tricky to write for XD I need to see him interacting with more people. And thank youuuuuu! I really want to write it and I'm tossing around some ideas with a friend, but it's gotta be slow burn (I know the IDW version will be slow burn and really messed up, but even with my G1 version I don't want to be instant).

And I sometimes worry that I project too much onto Starscream as well, I mean just watching him getting beaten up for laughs is hard. I'm really happy to be talking about him btw! I could spend all day analysing him, I think he's a fascinating character!

I just had a huge realisation yesterday and I wanted to share this after going through some pretty horrible stuff over the weekend: Something I've always asked myself ever since getting into G1 Transformers was "why do you like Starscream so much even though he's a narcissistic bully? Why are you, someone who is a victim of narcissistic abuse, taking comfort in a narcissistic character?" Well, I think I finally figured it out. Because Starscream is also a victim of that very same abuse. I mean, he's beaten, called names, bullied, unappreciated, abused, and put through the wringer…and he internalised all that abuse because he knew no other way. He had no one to turn to, and the few bots who did support him, he treated like dirt. Once he had that freedom and power, he abused it and became the very thing that abused him. I have no doubt he was always self-centred, selfish, had a huge ego, etc. before all that but honestly? I think Megatron's abuse caused him to turn out the way he did. I could have turned out that way and it's a little scary, some of the parallels I'm drawing with him.

@ichbinmeltdown wrote a great analysis on Starscream that I want to share here:

"Megatron was abusive as hell to Starscream. He treated him horribly, and I legitimately almost cried a few times watching it. There's an episode called Starscream's Brigade that introduces the Combaticons, and I think that perfectly demonstrates the cycle of abuse. The entire world is against Starscream at pretty much every turn throughout the series, but none more so than Megatron. Every word out of his speech synthesizer to Starscream is to berate him, and he's constantly throwing him around, beating him, even ripping out his speech synthesizer in a scene from a previous episode (Hoist Goes Hollywood, IIRC). His own teammates don't like him, and even his brothers- Skywarp and Thundercracker, going off of the idea they're brothers- just... allow Megatron to abuse him. (Not to get into headcanons here, but I personally believe that Megatron's abuse fractured the Elite Trine's family dynamic. They are still brothers and love each other, but they're all too afraid of Megatron to really... stand up for each other as they did in the past.) And Starscream seemed to just snap in this episode. He treated the Combaticons poorly, and even when teaming up with Shockwave, he subjected him to a lot of the same ridicule and torment that Megatron put him through. He failed to realize Shockwave was the one of the only bots who would give him a chance- and unfortunately lashed out at him, which ruined his chances of Shockwave ever being a true friend and ally to him. Once Starscream had finally gotten a taste of power and not being under another bot's boot, he too became the very thing that he lived in fear of. And that really is how the cycle goes- when you're finally free from abuse, it can be tempting to overcompensate and take back all the power you were robbed of, at any cost whatsoever. Starscream, like D16 in Transformers One, snapped up this opportunity."

And the sad thing is, I've seen this in real life and I've internalised some of the abuse I've dealt with too. I'm not proud of it. Like the Seeker Trine, my own family dynamic has been fractured by similar abuse. I know there's traces of narcissism in my behaviour too, and I'm NOT proud of it. Maybe this is why I can forgive Starscream for being a narc, because I can see a little bit of my own personality/attitude/behaviour in him. Maybe it's because I know where it came from, I get why he acts that way and it's not just random and out of the blue. Maybe it's because--and I know this is a bold statement--I don't think he would do some of the stuff my own family did to me (blah blah blah he's a fictional character).

I didn't mean for this to turn into a long rant, so

TLDR: I finally figured out that part of the reason I love and relate to Starscream so much despite him internalising some of the abuse I went through, is because he was the victim of that same abuse.

[dykedvonte]

Can you talk about trans!Curly a little bit more? I'm curios if you have any headcanons and the like

-💀

It's just such a thing in my mind because it adds a truthful sadness and differing aspect to mouthwashing.

If Curly was trans it adds the horror of the horribly selfish thought he could have easily been in Anya's situation. It could've been him but it wasn't and he so conflicted on the pit it put in his stomach that brings and the shameful relief it wasn't. In this scenario he is friends with Jimmy for a long time still. Jimmy likely knew him pretransition. Maybe he gave Curly weird looks then, maybe they never stopped after, maybe they seemed meaner. They are guys now, bros, both of them are. He doesn't really have to worry what those looks mean anymore, Jimmy just has that face with him sometimes. It's recontextualizing a lot of things for him that he was in denial about or too ashamed to admit. How naive he was being and how he let that get another person hurt.

Specifically with Anya, it's he knows the dread and fear she's feeling. He can understand it because he had to live with it for a good portion of his life, he knows it cause he still does, just in a slightly different way. It makes him think of all the times he's been alone with Jimmy, all the times he's been way more drunk off his ass and not remember the night, Jimmy was always with him the next day. Makes him think of the comments he would laugh off both because that's what guys do but because that part of being a girl says to laugh so Jimmy doesn't do something. It's the selfish realization that he was never safe and he's uncertain now too. Mad at himself for forgeting that feeling, espcially since for a long time he would've been considered the only woman on a crew (with all that implies) for a long time.

He should've taken those blinders off, step back into that position for just a moment and it's so much more painful that Anya likely came to him because he should've gotten it. Those thoughts don't leave his mind after the crash when he's in an even more vulnerable position than she was...

[laugtherhyena]

Control over time

[hsslilly-blog]

huntclaire divorce au. everything is exactly the same but wait i was going to make a joke here but i’m actually very invested in this

[cescalr]

Oooh, definitely glee for the fandom asks! <3

Always with the hornets' nests with these ones, I see! Though i don't think there's a fandom out there that isn't in some way a hornets' nest once it gets large enough... hm. Alright. I'm just gonna be as honest as i can be about this, and tag accordingly.

Glee:

my favourite female character: augh. argh. ouph. so difficult. so hard. Since I'm working off of half-remembered show and half recently-rewatched show... its a tossup. Mercedes, Santana, Quinn. Probably Mercedes. She did nothing wrong ever in her entire life <3 well okay maybe except that one time she smashed kurt's car windows (but it was a banger song, though). Can't say Santana because of the Biphobia TM and other things like excessive use of bigotry-based insults, and Quinn. Oh god girl. Cheating is not cool! Funnily enough! So I find them really interesting but 'favourite' is hard to say. Mercedes. Mercedes for sure <3

my favourite male character: Blaine sam blaine sam blaine sam yes. I am imitating ripping petals off of flowers and coming to a conclusion based on which is the last name i said. So I guess that means Sam! But really this is a tie.

my favourite book/season/etc: Mannnnn idk. I don't like shows for seasons as-a-whole. Also i could not tell you what happened in any given season if you held a gun to my head. I'm not good at that. The only shows i know 'seasons' of are Buffy and Teen Wolf because i've watched them like 100000000000 times (exaggeration) for various reasons (mostly fanfiction research).

my favourite episode (if its a tv show): I can tell you my LEAST favourite episode (blame it on the alcohol, thank you Kurt king of biphobia! this is a persona foible it's not the worst episode in the show. by far. by far. it's kind of an average one. I'm just angry at it.) BUT er. Favourite? Idk. Genuinely some of the earlier Kurt-centric stuff was really well done (his convo with Burt... <3) and the Quinn giving birth accompanied by bohemian rhapsody was obviously iconic, but if I'll be honest I couldn't name any episodes of this show (other than That One previously stated, anyway). And yeah most of the time they were named after song titles and No i don't remember those song titles either. I'm just so bad at this. My memory is that of a goldfish's being haphazardly bounced around on a sieve.

my favourite cast member: it would be really funny if I said Demi Lovato [she counts!] but the truth is N/A: i don't know these people !!! They are strangers!! (i don't. follow celebrities. at all. I couldn't even name most of them. They're just people doing a job and their lives are irrelevant to me beyond their ability to perform that job well. I do not need to know where they live and what coffee they drink. Stalker shit tbh. I'm kind of a very private person myself, so rpf-adjacent stuff just... creeps me out. I've never watched a single cast interview in my lifetime and I'm not about to start!)

my favourite ship: Difficult to say! Grave and obvious lie. Blam. It's blam. Quintana is a close runner up though Santana really needs to stop dating people who cheat on the regular (I'll accept Quinn has grown enough not to do this by the time a Quintana coupling would be viable - and satisfying in terms of character arcs - narratively speaking).

a character I’d die defending: Blaine Anderson did something wrong for sure but like Kurt did it first so shrugs. Cancels out. Bad for each other! Case closed!

a character I just can’t sympathize with: genuinely don't remember if I had one of those the first time around because I was like 10 and just didn't pay attention if I didn't care, but Terri and her racist self take that 'prize' this time, alongside the obvious predator in the room [original choir teacher. Sandy? I forget his name immediately after hearing it. He doesn't deserve to be remembered]. Also JBI is just.... a yikes character all around. I mean, he's a blatant stereotype for one, in a the people who wrote this person don't like jews kind of way. Unfortunately common stereotype too, for the era, so not only is he that, he's also lazy. Just a one-note pervert who's the butt of various antisemitic 'jokes' you've heard from era-peer shows a million times over, tired and awful and a sour reminder of bigotry that continues to this day. Really regrettable character who's lack of redeeming qualities was probably purposeful. (I know Rachel and tina are also jewish, but this comes up very rarely and mostly only when santana needs to say something kind of fucked up, as is her modus operandi, for 'comic relief'. Tina's jewish-ness wasn't even canon for several seasons, because she didn't have a surname or a family or anything resembling complex character depth for several seasons. The one time I really remember Rachel's religion being important was when she was pressuring Kurt into believing in some kind of god, which??? don't do that. Bad example. Trying to guilt trip a friend into faith sucks. I take back what i said earlier Mercedes did that too. Boo. Girls try again that was a bad showing all around. Though i have no idea why Kurt went the acupuncture route as his 'secular' option but i think that has to do a lot with the writers doing literally no research ever once in their lives (you can tell they don't by the way they write the football segments of the show, which make no sense according to football fans who watch Glee, of which there are numerous because real life isn't like fiction where you can only like music or sports. Most of the kids in my school year were doing the most of everything ever if they were the 'popular' ones - we do that differently; popularity isn't really based on who know know; for some bizzare reason literally everyone knew who I was? Even people I'd never spoken to?? - but more about like... how much you can do, I guess. Overachievers, but I'm not saying that negatively; these people were generally - generally - very nice, and surprisingly chill for people who had no spare time whatsoever. I'm not entirely sure when they slept; A* across the board, at least one sport, at least one instrument, several extracurriculars, parties every weekend, dozens of friends and an s.o. . Eh? Way too much going on. Scary lifestyle! Impressive burnout rate, probably. Er. Tangent! Back to the scheduled programming).) There's uhhhh there's a lot of bad characters on the show, but i'd say Sandy and Terri and her equally but more loudly racist sister are truly completely irredeemable ones. Like they're not interesting or anything, they're just there to be narrative annoyances (which, in the case of Sandy specifically, is insane. Arrest that man!!! He has actively sexually assaulted minors!!!).

a character I grew to love: difficult to say because I tend to just make an opinion and stick to it. Also i don't remember who i liked at first and who i didn't, this show came out when i was eight. I didn't watch it until I was a little older than that, of course, but I frankly have spotty memory until my late teens, so! I'm not sure!! Quinn, probably. Pink-hair-era Quinn helped me understand her more, and seeing the moments of kindness hidden behind practical cruelty, when you understand her family and situation, makes things make a lot more sense. It takes a lot to get me to sympathise with a cheater, but I can see where Quinn was getting all turned around in her head about life because of her upbringing and socialisation, not to mention the profoundly negative impact cheerios had on her mentally and that the school's culture in general was not exactly a breeding ground for empathy and optimism.

my anti otp: can you tell (klaine). I don't dislike Kurt!!! Please let him have a fun chillaxed boyfriend in new york with his vogue friends. But also please stop attempting to control other people's diets thank you!! Thank you!! I'm of mixed feelings. Blaine and Kurt both did at least one bad, relationship-ending thing, and proved over and over again that they just weren't on the same wavelength in regards to life goals and ways of living it. They can't even share the same living space, which is kind of required for a functional marriage. I don't know, it just seems like they settled for their first proper, serious boyfriend even if that's not really the best match, and I... wish they'd just got to see more of life first, you know? They got married at like 20! Or something! I'm 23, I cannot imagine getting married at 20. That's a baby. Let them live first!

(same for Santana and Brittney, imo. I also don't really like them together because Santana and Brittney have very different ideas regarding monogamy, which is just never going to go down well in the long run. If your girl cheats on you like twenty times and tells you to your face its not cheating in her view of things, but you think it is, break up with her because you'll just make each other miserable. Brittney sort of seems incapable of feeling guilt but if she were, this kind of moral pressure would be Not Good, and obviously Santana isn't comfortable with the idea and doesn't have to be!! Just move on!!! Find other people!!!! Don't marry your first girlfriend if you've broken up like ten times this is simple!!!! Please!!!! But Klaine wins out over Brittana because - in my opinion, glee fandom please do not persecute me, I am known for this specific thing - I see... interactions that verge on abusive between Klaine that I don't see in Brittana. So. Oof? Ex; use of public perception to disguise attack; deliberately hurting Blaine in a stage-combat fencing match (you are not meant to make actual contact in these) and thus using Blaine's own dislike of making his difficulties common knowledge against him in order to 'punish' him. This is no good! Don't do this!!.[Also just to err vaguepost about a comment.... that is. not. what i would call passive aggressive. Physically attacking someone with a sword - no matter the type of sword, fencing foils hurt just as much, they're just not stab-you sharp... er, these days - is just straight-up aggressive.]).

Note that negative things stick in the mind better than positive ones; on a rewatch I may well alter my opinion!

But also I'm really, really stubborn. So it's not likely. Klaine.

[lucalicatteart]

A few little sketches of some possible school uniforms for mage schools/learning centers for magic/etc. :0c Though because Nanyevimi is so scattered and disconnected, it'd actually vary much more by region (like not everywhere would have a cultural concept of what a suit jacket or neck tie looks like lol), so it's probably unrealistic for so many of them to follow too many traditional Uniform Conventions from cultures in our world, etc. But, still, fun to mess around with designs, and think about which would be most fun to wear/what school you'd go to just based off the clothing lol~

[here-there-were-dragons]

as a general rule, on average, if americans consistently complain about a food being conceptually weird, gross, and scary, then it probably tastes amazing. or at least inoffensive.

this is because in my experience americans for the most part (give or take a few exceptions by region) think eating literally anything other than beef, chicken, bread, eggs, peanut butter jelly sandwitches, ketchup, and disgusting cloyingly artificial brown sludge soda is insurmountably weird, gross, and scary.

[4lexnilsen]

“why wouldn’t it be allowed?   is studying together forbidden in illinois now?”   playing dumb because it’s easier than admitting their friendship may not be as innocent as they insist,  alex can’t help but wonder how harry feels about all this.   sarah usually just rolls her eyes and gives him the silent treatment for a few hours.   they rarely fight because of his friendship with helena.   “thank you.”   blushing faintly,  he’s not really used to people complimenting his name and so it means even more.   “and that’s very sweet of you.   i,  personally,  really like it when you call me alexander.”   it makes him feel special,  like he means something to her because she can spend the extra seconds and actually call him by his full name instead of settling for the more common option —   alex.   “have you ever asked your parents why they went with helena?   i’m only asking because my parents,  for whatever reason,  decided to name us all in alphabetical order.   alexander,  bryce,  cameron and david.   that’s kind of weird,  isn’t it?”   he laughs,  shaking his head,  but figuring all families have their little quirks.   “is alfred like…   your dad’s uncle?”   he remembers her telling him,  the very day that they first met,  that she wanted to help others like her late grandfather.   he was a doctor,  she’ll be a vet.   and so he knows that alfred isn’t her grandfather as his name has popped up in several of their conversations,  and he’s very much alive.   but she always refers to him by his name so he has no idea whether they’re related by blood or not.  

“i’ll dedicate it to you.   for helena wayne,  thanks for suffering through the very first draft,  and all the other ones that came after it.”   it doesn’t even occur to him that he should probably dedicate it to his girlfriend.   why would it?   he hasn’t even told her that he’s writing a book,  afraid she will ridicule him.   “how do you know these things?”   very much impressed,  he gently squeezes her hand.   eyes twinkling with happiness.   harry is one lucky guy.   “have you ever been to italy?”   maybe he could save up enough money to take her there one day.   but she’s not his to spoil with trips to italy,  a voice of reason reminds,  causing his cheeks to flush an even darker shade of red.   “you have so little trust in me,  helena wayne.   i’d never let you face plant into the ice.”   he shakes his head,  holding her hand as she begins to skate on her own,  chest brimming with pride.   he even whistles in approval,  beaming at her.   “look at you go!   the next olympics are yours,  little cat!   where do i sign you up?”   teasing,  he’s grinning up until he hears someone call out her name.   they both freeze.   a wave of shame crawling up his neck.

he shouldn’t feel ashamed.   after all,  it’s not like they’re doing anything wrong.   can’t two friends go ice skating together?   are they not allowed to hold hands when letting go means one of them might get injured?   it’s not like they’ve been making out underneath the mistletoe.   sarah knows exactly where he is and with whom,  and so does harry,  right?   then why does he feel so weird?   his heart lurching into his throat,  blood buzzing so loudly that he can barely hear his own thoughts…   and since helena isn’t dropping his hand,  he only tightens his grip,  giving a reassuring squeeze.   he doesn’t join in on the conversation,  not up until his name gets dragged into it.   then,  he awkwardly lifts his other hand in a silent hello,  puts on his best smile and calls out,   “alex nilsen.   nice to meet you.”   actually,  it’s anything but nice,  but he can’t really say that.   relief washes over him when the guy doesn’t throw a fit and they can skate away,  faces flushed and hearts thudding.   he only laughs when helena speaks up again,  their hands still locked.   “what’s weird is,”   harry has friends in the first place,   “chicago is such a big city and sometimes it feels so small.   are we in trouble with harry now? does he know... you know, that we're here? without sarah? but yeah,  churros sound real good,  with dulce de leche sauce.   it’s the best.”

"oh, sure. if that's allowed." with his girlfriend, she discreetly points out yet again. because she isn't so certain how SHE would feel about that and it kind of bothers helena. "alexander is beautiful. i like refer to people as their full names... that's what i was taught by my dad and alfred. it's a habit just instilled in me now." her family's butler, but she won't say that in fear it makes her sound too pretentious. he's more than that, he's family, but no one outside their family is going to understand it. fearful of being judged for it, despite how much alfred means to her. he's like the grandfather built in best friend she didn't get to have by blood. "and it's just unfair, to have such a beautiful handsome regal name and to not be referred as such." raven haired girl adds. "that's amazing. of course i want to be the first." that's incredibly fascinating, the fact he's taking off writing books of his own. his girlfriend must be so proud and enamored, if she cares. "mhm, there is actually. sfusato amalfitano and the limone di sorrento. they're highly prized lemons." helena grins, letting her hands go from his forearms, moving herself away to resort to skating freely on her now while holding his left hand. "and what? face plant into the ice when you over speed and throw me off?" this is a challenge she, for the first in her life, isn't so eager to take on. listening to him talk, about to respond until the sound of her name has her distracted.

"helena?" turning her head as they're passing back by the front entrance. the face belonging to harry's best friend. "colby? um, hi. what're you doing here? shouldn't you be at the lounge with harry?" feeling so awkward, caught, holding alex's hand... but unable to bring herself to let go in fear of faceplanting in front of everyone. "no," his voice slow, like he notices that too, the weirdness of the girl who is his best friends girlfriend holding another guys hand, "i'm here with my new girlfriend maisy. we're on a date. she's coming. so who's that?" not afraid to just openly come out with it, purposely trying to put her on the spot as he gestures to the guy next to her. none of your business, her first instinct to grumble; but quickly thinks how that'll make her sound guilty. "oh! my best friend. because harry didn't show, he was supposed to be here." putting it back to him with attitude, so in case he wants to go back telling him, then he can see it's his fault she's holding another guys friend. "anyway, we're off now. have fun, bye," waving goodbye as she's looking back forward to concentrate where they're going. "that was weird... i wonder if we should go try these churros, now?" before he rouses harry up and gets him to come over and ruins the rest of their night.

[sophieswundergarten]

I can't stop thinking about that Wing AU and Sticky plucking his feathers...

(Weird, angsty ramblings that might require some knowledge of bird anatomy to fully understand to follow)

(Basically, when birds grow feathers they start as "blood feathers" which are basically just little sacks of blood and growing cells. After this, they are "pin feathers", and the blood is all inside where it belongs, leaving the feather all rolled up and covered in this papery stuff that rubs off and leaves a fully grown feather. Also, Primaries are the big "pointer finger" feathers at the tip of the wings, Secondaries are the medium sized ones from the "wrist" joint to the "elbow", where they get smaller and are referred to as Tertiaries. That should be it :>)

Because, in real life, it's quite common in pet psittacines (Parrots: so, macaws, cockatoos, budgies, lovebirds, etc.) especially when they are stressed. And it can get out of control really fast and take a long time to train the bird out of even though it's very obviously hurting it.

And I just keep thinking about how young he was when he started being on TV. And for a while the fluffy little baby feathers were cute but an entertainment industry seeking engagement instead of connection demanded he grow up too fast.

And so the make-up/wardrobe department for any competition he was on started pulling some of the downy feathers. There weren't that many left at this point regardless, but they assured him it would make him seem more mature and appeal to a wider audience. And it would be fine, it wouldn't really hurt him, especially since he was growing in big feathers anyway.

So it went. With Sticky being so self-conscious and anxious anyway, he probably kept his wings tucked in tight behind him no matter what people thought about them.

He had never put that much consideration into how he looked, but now he can't stop thinking about it. He doesn't know why it's so important, but apparently it matters to people. He doesn't want it to matter. He doesn't want to be seen or recognised. He just wants to be left alone.

He starts fidgeting with the pin feathers that will one day unfurl into adult primaries, and even though he knows it's counter-intuitive because removing the casings will only free the feathers sooner, he can't help it. A few times he goes too far and starts picking at blood feathers, and even though the red coats his finger tips more often than he'd like, he still can't stop his hands from scratching and pulling and yanking as he grows more and more agitated.

And then he ran away

He ran and he couldn't keep his hands off his wings for more than a few minutes. Tugging and raking his fingers through the feathers in a futile attempt to calm down. The first couple of times, it's an accident.

The first couple of times he's so caught up in soundless panic and all he can hear is his own breathing, it's only later that he notices a small cluster of secondaries, close to his body and almost never seen with how rigidly he holds himself, are missing. Small pieces of the night sky littering the alleyway ground where he'd been hiding.

His wings are so dark in colour, not to mention unkempt after a few weeks hiding and running and flitting from place to place trying to find safety, that the other kids don't even notice anything wrong.

It isn't until a few days later, when they're all in the backyard attempting to practice their Morse Code, and Kate does something that startles him that they really see what kind of a state his wings are in.

Most birds, when scared or on edge, will carefully spread their wings. Maybe not a lot, but they are preparing to fly away or make themselves look bigger in hopes to scare off the threat. (I imagine Milligan having great big owl wings that he puffs up to try and guard the children when the Recruiters come after them in the maze)

But Sticky just draws them in closer to his body. When he is scared, which Constance would note is often, he holds his wings so tightly to his back that they seem half their size. This would be considered odd and in some ways handicapping himself or keeping him from being able to react properly.

But this time, as Kate wobbles unstably out of her cartwheel and lets out a shriek of laughter, landing on the ground right next to him, Sticky jumps. He starts off the bench he had been sitting on, hunching his shoulders and reflexively spreading his wings.

And instead of the fully extended mix of fully grown flight feathers and occasionally wayward piece of down the other kids have, Sticky's wings are a mess. They have a skeletal quality, with just enough plumage that when they are folded in it's hardly noticeable, but when they are extended it's clear there are significant gaps. The remaining feathers have the dull, stunted quality of someone who has been under an incredible amount of stress without nearly enough nutrients to fuel them, and indeed Sticky looks rather like a feral cat in that moment: Spooked and curling in on himself as if expecting a fight.

He quickly realises his overreaction, and then processes that the girls are staring at his wings (Reynie's eye did dart up, but quickly returned to looking at Sticky's face), so he jerks them back into a resting position. Though there's nothing particularly restful about how stiff his posture is, back ramrod straight and muscles so tight he's beginning to shake.

However, this is something that the others know he doesn't want to share yet. And he doesn't need to. Not until he's ready.

So, Kate grabs the flashlight from where it had fallen to the ground, a sheepish grin on her face as she apologises for scaring him.

Reynie suggests they all go inside, take a break and get something to eat before they begin again.

Constance glares at Sticky suspiciously, but right as she opens her mouth she seems to think better of her questions and simply shrugs.

And Sticky is grateful for his friends, grateful that he has these people who love him enough to trust him with his secrets, even though they don't know each other very well yet. So he follows them inside, and if Kate dumps a little bit more food on his plate, and Constance doesn't try to swipe his juice glass this time, and if that night (for the first time) Reynie shyly asks if the two of them could take turns preening each others' wings, when it's just the two of them alone in the room, Sticky thinks he might be able to trust them too.