#it's so crazy to me. i don't even think it's been a full 4 months and now i've already got merch and dvds it's the main thing i think about

[bodywhorror]

it is hilarious to me that i didn't really vibe with my first watch of the whole evil dead trilogy and now months later i'm in campbell hell

[coveted-covey]

a/n: minors please don't interact. blank and ageless blogs are going to be blocked. 🚶‍♀️ this was supposed to be posted a month ago but I got stuck 1.6k words in. literally that one bake off meme except it went like "started writing it. had a month's long block. but here it is now so bon appetit." ...anyways!

cw: Cove and reader are 23 (step 4 age!), established relationship, making out, some s*xual tension (note sure if this cw is needed), multiple mentions of alcohol and reader drinking/getting drunk, slightly OOC!Cove, but I totally see him doing it if push comes to shove and so here we are… or maybe I’m just projecting! :D this is also not beta read. but either way, enjoy! let me know if I missed anything else in the tags.

Word count: 2,016

You're 97% certain that you're going crazy. 

That or there's something in the air, but whatever it is you realize that you don't really care. Nothing comes close to the urgency that is Cove James Holden.

With spasming hands, you grab ahold of his hair as you try to breathe in between the small gaps that you afford yourself. When that becomes insufficient, you press yourself further into his personal space.

“[Name], w-wait–” Cove gasps as you bite his lower lip. “Let's go inside first–” 

You stop your assault of his mouth, replacing it with your gentle thumb instead. Cove’s brain is short-circuiting and your rapt attention at his lips is absolutely not helping. You giggle as you tug his lips down with your thumb. “Your lips are so swollen, baby.” 

He lets out a groan of half-embarassment and half-wantonness. “I shouldn't have let you drink tonight.” Realizing that he should use the opportunity of you not pressing your own to his lips as of yet, he quickly grabs his keys from his pocket then opens the door of his apartment.

The low creaking of the door captures your attention, then you dangerously swerve as you snap your attention back to him. “Ahh, here it is! Homeee~” you drawl.

He grabs your waist as you almost bump to one of his floormates passing through the corridor. “[Name], be quiet,” he mutters lowly then quickly apologizes to the old lady, cheeks reddening. If it could go any redder at this point, that is.

He leads you inside and you lean your full weight against him. He didn’t even stagger. You would have marvelled at his strength if had you been paying attention, but alas you were briefly distracted by the little to no light that welcomed you as you stepped into the threshold.

“It's so dark here. Why is it so dark?” You whine. 

Cove shuts the door then puts down your bags beside his shoe rack. He wordlessly flicks the light switch on then turns to you. “Sit down here for a second.” 

“Hmm?” Your eyes blink at the blue lounge chair he's patting. When you make no move, he gently sits you down then moves to take off your shoes.

You stare at him, eyes slightly unfocused. “Hey…”

“Yes, [Name]?” He looks up at you from the floor and you giggle.

You lean into his ear. “You look good kneeling.”

“God.” 

Cove looks up then mutters something underneath his breath. He closes his eyes shut, lips in a deep frown and brows furrowing despite the bright blush on his cheeks. You're going to be the death of him.

A beat passes.

He clears his throat. “I’m gonna help you change your clothes and then I’m putting you to bed, okay? Come on,” he gives you his hand to help you up, but you lightly swat his hand away.

“Nooo, I want a piggyback ride!” 

Cove tries to think back to the first time you got yourself this inebriated. Except nothing comes close to mind. There was that one time your parents let you have wine on your 18th birthday, but that was in the privacy of your own home, and you were not allowed to stay up with Cove with just the both of you. With all things considered, then, this would be the first time. He has half a mind to call the Last’s but didn’t, considering the both of you are full-grown adults at this point and he’s capable of taking care of you tonight.

He is… right?

Your head lolls a bit to the side, then leans back next to his head. “You’re so warm,” you hummed as you tightened your arms around his shoulders.

“You are, too. I’m gonna put you down now, ‘kay?”

Your lips tremble, your intoxicated mind irrationally offended with the thought of him going away from you. You hiccup. “Are you mad at me?” Another hiccup. “Don’t let go, please?”

“[N-name], are you crying? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!” he tries to look at you, but human heads can only turn up to a certain angle. “I won’t go away, I promise. I’m just gonna let you down on the bed.”

You sniffle, nodding despite Cove not facing you. “Okay…”

You feel what you can only assume as his mattress beneath you as he deposits you down onto the soft covers. You come face to face with his worried face as he examines your countenance with his hands on both sides.

“Don’t cry,” he swipes his thumb at a stray tear, his heart breaking at the sight of your red-rimmed eyes and trembling lips. “I think you’re underestimating your own importance in my life,” he lets out a sad chuckle. “I’ll never, ever, let you go out of my own accord. You’re it for me. My soulmate, the love of my life. I’ll spend forever loving you if I could. So don’t cry, okay? Honestly you would have to be the one to decide if you get sick of me at some point, and only then will I consider leaving you. But until then—and God knows leaving you, ever, is not what I would want—I’m yours.”

He ends his speech with a tender kiss on your forehead.

Being reasonably touched and rightfully overwhelmed at your boyfriend’s reaffirmation of his love aside, it seems like the alcohol is affecting you so much worse than you would have liked. It’s getting embarrassing and sober you would definitely hit yourself upside the head with how ridiculous you’re reacting.

You start sobbing.

“Waaaahh, I love you so, so, so much!” you wail as you bury your face on his stomach, hugging him in a vice grip. Cove can only hug you as tight as your positions can allow him, rubbing your back soothingly as he tries his best to calm you down.

A couple minutes of uncontrolled sobbing and you getting helped by Cove to get cleaned up for bed later, you’re now snug under his covers, waiting for him to come back from the kitchen to get a fresh glass of cold water.

“Here you go,” he puts the glass on the sidetable and you sit up to drink it. You gulp down the refreshing water in no time.

Having calmed down from the blindsiding, alcohol-driven, emotional outburst earlier, you can only look at him sheepishly as you are hit with sudden clarity. “I’m sorry for the, uh, sorry for being unreasonable earlier. I’m 100% blaming the alcohol,” you laugh lightly. You try to ignore the urge to pinch yourself out of embarrassment.

“Are you feeling better now?” he gives you such a heavy look that you can’t help but find the texture of his covers particularly interesting. Great, now you’ve disappointed him.

 “Yes, yes, I do. I’m really sorry about earlier, I was probably being a bother. I’m not sure I will swear off alcohol completely, but I’ll try to keep it to an ultra reasonable amount and not end up being completely hammermpgh—”

Cove leans forward and takes your lips against his own, shutting you up and pushing you back down on the bed in the process. “Don’t misunderstand, you can do whatever you want as long as you’re not totally endangering yourself and I will take care of you, but it seems like we’re still not seeing eye to eye in one crucial thing.”

Your head still reeling from the kiss, you can only open and close your mouth like a silly guppy. “W-what—”

“You’re not being a bother to me. Not ever,” he frowns, peeved at, and saddened by you downplaying yourself. “You never have to apologize for the things that I do for you because I love you and you’d do the same thing for me in a heartbeat.”

“But I—”

The rest of your sentence was interrupted by your beloved boyfriend leaning in once again to capture your lips in another searing kiss. “None of that,” he murmurs from above you, and your heart starts to race at the palpable tension between the two of you. “Do you understand, [Name]?”

You take in his state from above you, his eyebrows furrowed, pupils dilated, cheeks rosy pink, and lips deliciously swollen. You gulp as you feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

“I-I do. I understand.”

“Good,” he whispers lowly, and you’ve never wanted to shriek so hard in your life. You try to look back in your whole relationship with your neighbor-turned-friend-turned-best friend-turned-childhood sweetheart-turned-boyfriend and try to pinpoint a time he was ever this… this… this INTENSE and HOT and you want to faint.

You think you are going to faint.

Presumably contented from your response, he finally pulls back and you’re left trying to settle your breathing. Before he can step away to get to his side of the bed, however, you abruptly sit up to grab at his sleeve.

“Wait.”

He stops, looking at you with questioning eyes. You almost balk but steel yourself, eyes glinting with newfound (and undoubtedly short-lived?) confidence. “Are you seriously going to leave like that?”

“Like what?” His wavy eyebrows rise and the edge of his lips curls up in a familiar way that basically told you that the jig is up. “Like what, baby? And for the record, you did look good underneath me.”

You can almost feel your ears blowing out smoke out of embarrassment. Did he just—

Well, two can play at that game.

You brace yourself harder then hit him with, “Well, if I looked so good, why don’t you do it again?”

He looks away, and you see the traces of his flush from his ear to neck becoming more and more vibrant.

Ah. There he is.

“A-aren’t you tired?”

With an unexpected gracefulness of a predator stalking its captured prey, you lean in close to his ear. “Not for you, I’m not.” Then you give him the most seductive look you can muster.

 He bites his lip and your eyes follow the movement. You watch as the gears turn in his head debating whether to be responsible and make you get some rest, or to give in to your temptation and give you what you want.

Breathing out shakily, he gently removes your grip from him and puts your hand on your lap. You look up at him in confusion. He smiles apologetically then gives you a tender kiss on the lips. “You need rest, [Name]. You had a long flight coming home.”

You huff and pout, conceding. “Okay… but I want my cuddles.”

He laughs softly at that. “And cuddles you will get.”

Cove then turns the overhead lights off in exchange for lampshade. Once settled under the covers, he also turns the remaining source of light off, and you immediately draw yourself to his warmth. His arms reach around you to pull you in closer. You sigh, content.

“I missed this. I missed you.”

Cove hums then gives you another affectionate kiss on the top of your head. He smiles as he pays attention to how perfect you feel against him, like two puzzle pieces finally being connected after so long of being apart.

“I missed you too, more that you’d ever imagine.”

You laugh lightly at that, giving a soft peck at his skin in front of you. Cove giggles, ticklish. “Not everything is a competition, Mr. Cove Holden.”

“Alright, alright,” he giggles, squeezing you closer to him. “Get some rest, [Name]. I love you.”

You smile to yourself as tiredness catches up to you and your eyelids become heavy. “I love—” You let out a small yawn that Cove also catches. You share another soft laughter, like two lovers sharing secrets under the blankets, a couple finally reuniting after a while of being apart.  “I love you, too.”

And with that, the two of you go into a peaceful slumber, with you vaguely thinking of getting back at him in the morning for not giving in to you earlier. Maybe he’ll be in for a surprise…

[em-harlsnow]

the ages of shameless characters does nothing but drive me crazy, so I'm activating some detective skills to figure them out throughout the seasons. also - im ignoring the years or times that the seasons came out, just going by what the show says.

First off: Mickey - bday is 10 August 1994

Season 1: 16, because...

he's not in it much, he doesn't speak much, but we know two things - he's a teenager and he's under 18 since he goes to juvie. He's in juvie for some part of three seasons, so I think it's safe to put him at 16.

Season 2: 16 for a bit, then 17, because....

it's now summer, and Mickey comes out of juvie. I think he turns 17 that summer, because when he goes back in, people are wearing coats more so I assume it's getting colder, so it's past august.

Season 3: 17 for half, 18 for the other half, because...

it's summer at the start, so Mickey's been in juvie for like 6/7 months. he's still 17, because he didn't go to prison at any point. by the time he marries Svetlana, I think he's 18. I don't know how old you have to be to get married in Illinois, but I'll say 18 because American laws confuse me more than anything else. either way, again, people are wearing warmer clothes around the time he marries her, so he must be 18.

Season 4: 18, because...

it's winter, the whole way through. There's no way it's the next year, since Ian is still underage according to Mickey (altho there's a possibility he meant under the drinking age of 21, but I don't think so). So Ian's been gone for a few months, maybe like 5 since it could be Jan/Feb and he must have left Autumn time. Therefore, Mickey's 18. The whole time. Summer hasn't come, so his birthday hasn't passed.

Season 5: 19, because....

it's summer for the first part. Late summer, since the last half is in wintery time based on everyone's coats. We can assume that Mickey has his birthday either between season 4 and 5 or right at the beginning of season 5. So maybe he's 18 for like 5 seconds. But for the majority and the end, he must be 19.

Season 6: 19/20, because...

he's only in it for one scene (diabolical). I can't tell what the season is really, because there aren't many coats being worn at the start, and then loads at the end. It seems unreasonable that a whole spring and summer have been skipped, doesn't it? although, maybe it's possible. There are also some days when it seems really hot and some where it looks cold, so I have no idea. I don't know what the weather's like in Chicago, sorry. So he's either 19 or 20 when we see him. Most likely 20. Either way, he went into prison when he was 19, unless the trial was really long and lasted from winter to august, which I doubt.

Season 7: 21 (when he appears), because...

we have two episodes (again, very sad). it starts in the summer based on the t-shirts without jackets everyone wears. by the time ep 10 and 11 hit, it's colder. it's hard to tell at the end, since they're at the border or approaching the border and the further south you go the hotter it gets, and it's very sunny when mickey goes across. If season 6 really is that winter and they skipped the summer (which now makes more sense), it's the following summer, going into autumn. so, august has probably passed by the time we see mickey. so he's 21 now.

Season 8: 21, 22 by the end (even tho we don't see him), because...

no mickey (rude). we can still assume his age based on the seasons and other characters. it's summer again! I'm guessing it's the year after?? since it looked like season 7 was approaching autumn? that also means Ian and Trevor were dating for around a year, and I didn't realise it was so long to be honest. anyway, if it's summer again, at some point throughout mickey turns 22 (alone, in Mexico).

Season 9: 23, because...

one scene with mickey! it's still summer, the same summer as before I think, because there's no way the Gay Jesus thing lasted a full year. it looks like it's a direct continuation from season 8. by the last ep, Ian is wearing a hat and an undershirt under the prison uniform, so it's autumn-y time. so, mickey's either already 23 when we see him, or about to turn 23. by the end, he's definitely 23.

Season 10: 23 at the start, 24 by the end, because...

it's summer when Ian comes out of prison. I'd put it at early summer, since Ian says it's been less than a year of being in prison. so at the start, mickey's still 23. by the wedding, it's 'supposed to snow', so I guess it's full on winter. so august is passed, mickey is 24, and finally had his bday when he's with Ian.

Season 11: 24 at the start, 25 at the end, because...

summer again at the start based on all the t-shirts. early summer, because by ep 10, mickey goes swimming or does something in the pool, because I'm not convinced he can swim, which you aren't gonna do in the autumn/winter, right? by the last ep, there are more coats, and it's their anniversary so it's 'supposed to snow', so it must be winter time. so he's 24 at the start, 25 at the end.

In conclusion, Mickey is way younger than he seems (im not talking about Noel, he looks the age he's meant to be, he just seems older). Also, Gallavich has been together for 9 years.

Let me know if you disagree with any of this, I think I'll do Ian next! I don't know if this was obvious to everyone else and I'm just slow, but this is gonna help me loads when I'm figuring out weather seasons and ages for fics lol.

Shameless needs to deal with its shitty timelines. It was much better at consistency in the earlier seasons.

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #44 | 8.29.24 ๋࣭⭑

why did august feel so long and so short at the same time

And hot girl summer finally comes to an end! Can you all believe we're already getting into September? That's..... crazy.

Before I get into the devlog this month, I want to make a small announcement! It's a bittersweet one, but overall, I do think it's more exciting than anything.

Crescence is FINALLY CLOSE TO GRADUATING!!!!

It's crazy to be able to say this. For anyone who's an OG fan of Alaris, you'll know I basically started game development at the same time I started my Ph.D. program. It's been a wild ride having to balance game development throughout this entire journey. Funnily enough, when I started Alaris, I saw many game developers say a game that was around the same length as Alaris would take about 4-5 years. So at the beginning of my program, I remember thinking, "Ahh... So even though it sounds so intimidating to work on something for 4-5 years, that basically means by the time I finish my Ph.D., I'll be done with Alaris, right? Might as well start then! If I'm going to spend those 4-5 years getting a degree, might as well also use that time to make a game :D"

*Graduates before I finish Alaris alosjdfliasdifj*

inserts a little fanart montage of recent fanart players have made to break up the text

Anyways, it's crazy that I've been on this journey for both parts of my life as long as I have. Both my dissertation and Alaris have equally tested my sanity, but words can't describe how rewarding it is to see the finish line finally in sight for both projects.

The thing is...

If I want to graduate this semester (which I so, so, so, so, SO desperately do), I have to write my entire dissertation (about 60k words) in about..... a 1-1.5 months, haha.....

On the bright side, it's feasible (Crescence says delusionally). On the not-so-bright side, it's going to test my sanity. And if there's a 5% chance I'll be able to make those deadlines and graduate this semester, that chance goes to 0% if I try to balance Alaris on top of that.

Which means...

I'll be taking a two month break from Alaris development, which is the first time in all of development that I'll be taking a break that long. For those who have followed me on this journey, you may know I've worked on my firstborn baby almost continuously since I first started this project. While I've balanced other games during development and sometimes taken short breaks where I don't make as much progress, I've never just Not Worked on Alaris. So it's a bit terrifying to imagine two months not working on Alaris at all.

But graduating this semester is important to me, and at the end of the day, as much as I love game development, it's very much my hobby. I don't talk about my IRL obligations on here too much, but I do have them, and finally getting my Ph.D. degree is one of my biggest IRL obligations and priorities.

So it's with tears in my eyes that I say Alaris will be on a break until the end of October. I'll still be around to answer questions (thank you to everyone who has been sending them in and showing sm curiosity and love for the cast!), and the Patreon will still be up for those who want to play Druk's beta. But aside from that, I'm taking a Full Break on Alaris so that I can buckle down and focus on the final stage of my degree :')

I know this may come as a disappointment to some of you, especially those who have followed me for a while and/or are eager to see the full game release. It pains me to have to step away from Alaris for such an extended time, especially since the weight of full game release does weigh on me with each day lmfao. I want this game out just as badly as the rest of you, and especially because so many of you have trusted me with your money, time, and support, please rest assured that this decision didn't come easy. It's my biggest hope that when I return to game development after finishing dissertation matters, it will be full steam ahead now that I'll no longer have degree obligations hanging over my head.

With that out of the way, let's go into this month's devlog! I'll try to make it as juicy as possible for you all as a thank you for your patience and support while I Get That Degree <3

Thankfully, this past month was much more focused in the writing department! While there was some small editing happening in Fenir and Druk's routes, it was minor changes compared to July. Most of my attention was on Kuna'a, and I'm very excited to say that the first draft of his route is OFFICIALLY FINISHED!!!

THAT MEANS ONLY ONE ROUTE IS LEFT FOR ALARIS TO BE WRITTEN!!!!!! It is so crazy to finally reach the last stretch of script writing. While I'm sure there's much editing to be done, the idea of having the base drafts finished is honestly hard to believe considering how endless script writing has felt.

A sneak peek of Kuna'a's route to celebrate

With how plot-centric the last three routes feel, it's also rewarding in a different way to officially write out a lot of the main plot details into the script, instead of just dropping bits and pieces here and there.

It makes me sad to pause Alaris development right when we're getting into the last meaty bits and pieces, but hopefully this just means when I return to development, I'll be hitting the ground running after missing working on the game ^^

Art has also been making lots of nice progress this month! I finished about half of Druk's CGs and our current CG counter is.... 25 out of 54! Which means we're just about reaching the halfway mark with CGs as well ^^

One of the CGs was so hot, it broke my iPad and almost lost ALL MY ALARIS ART ASSETS!! ha!! ha!! ha!! That was a fun part of this month!!!! Anyways, this isn't the CG in question (that one would be too spoilery to show, though it is on my Patreon for those who want to see it, heh), but this is a CG that I'm particularly fond of that I finished recently---Sneak Peek!

What lipgloss do you use, my man

CGs, aside from sprites, are the last main art assets that need to be done for the game. So knowing that they're just about at the halfway mark really shows that we're getting into the last stretch of the game's development!!

Finally, in extremely exciting news, we launched Druk's beta recently! WHICH MEANS..... HALF of the routes are beta coded for the game!!! WHAAAAT!!!!

Obviously, I'll be going in later to fix up some things, add in more sprite expressions, the CGs, etc. at a later time for these routes. But the fact half of the game is basically coded is so surreal...... I remember when these updates were just me telling you I was still writing and that was literally it LFJALSDJF.

Now, we're here on our third route to be beta tested!!!

everyone thank @minthe-drawings for drawing our beefy boy in all his beefy glory

Druk's beta will be up for a while since I'll be on break from development, but if you'd like to play his beta, sign up for Hydra on my Patreon!

This month, we've also started including drabbles to the Patreon for free members. So if you don't have funds to support through paid tiers but would still like some extra content, I've started writing drabbles that are free for anyone following my Patreon to read ^^

Finally, as one last thank you before I go on my break, we recently reached this milestone on itch.io!!! Y'all have downloaded Crescence games 100k times and played my games over 200k TIMES.... (we technically reached 200k plays a while ago, but I wanted to wait until the downloads number was a pretty 100k).

not to mention the other milestones we've hit. thank you all for your support ;_;

It's crazy to even see this kind of number on my page.... I remember I used to see other amazing devs post these kinds of numbers and I could only dream that one day I'd be able to experience that kind of engagement. And so seeing that number for myself.... it's just really humbling to know you've all supported me for this long and to know I've reached the amount of players that I have <3 Thank you as always for the support and love you've all given my games. One day I will reward you all in kind and release Alaris....LFMALSDIJF

For market research this month, I have been trying to play Fields of Mistria in the small pockets of free time that I have. March and Eiland my beloved. But what I really want to highlight this month is...

No one is surprised that I am, once again, telling you to support @ravenstargames

Lost in Limbo is a phenomenal dark fantasy VN that just released their demo and went live with their Kickstarter. The team is made up of some of the kindest, funniest, most hardworking, and talented people that I know, and I can't recommend the demo enough. The cast is diverse and has so much character (I literally love every character). The writing is beautiful, and the art is absolutely stunning. It's the team's first game, but you wouldn't know it from how polished, immersive, and breathtaking the demo is! Please consider supporting the team, whether it's playing the game or backing the Kickstarter. They deserve every ounce of success they get, and if you're a fan of fantasy and stunning storytelling, you will LOVE THIS GAME!!! Envy stans RISE!!!!

That's all for this month (and for the next two months.... wah.... don't forget about me everyone...)! Hope everyone stays well and warm as we enter fall, and I'll see you all in November <3 I'll miss you all dearly (I say this as if I won't still be around to answer asks), and hopefully when I return, I'll be making my debut as DR. CRESCENCE!!!! \o/

[lunatic-pudge]

General Medic Headcanons (Requested by poker_face_12)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am happy to be putting some TF2 stuff out. It was feeling wrong giving Postal so much attention and not TF2. I'm also thinking about writing some stuff for Duke Nukem. I know there's not really an audience out there but he and Nick from L4D2 have been holding me in a chokehold recently

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SFW:

-My baby boy, Medic, I feel like I don't give him enough attention.

-I promise, he isn't as crazy as you think he is. Maybe. He does care about his teammates, he'll never admit it though. Always trying to make sure they take care of themselves. Sometimes it can feel a bit preachy, but he means well, truly, he does. You just gotta look past his "I'm the doctor and know what's best" attitude. But he tends to neglect listening to his own advice, like the hypocrite he is

-I'm 85% confident he has a jar of lollipops in his lab. He sometimes has to use them as a bribe, and other times as a reward, but they're actually for him cause he has an insatiable sweet tooth. That sweet tooth of his will be the cause of his downfall also. He get rather excited when Pyro bakes, cause homie knows how to make some amazing hard candy and cakes. Pyro has even made Medic a cake for his birthday, and now Py gets special treatment when in for checkups and experiments

-Loves traveling. He's a nerdy German tourist and would clear out a gift shop if given the opportunity. When, he has time, he likes to go out and travel a bit. He's so nerdy when he's out and about, it's adorable. Probably takes Heavy with him as well cause why not

-God, this man would be petty for no reason. Also very good at holding a grudge. Ain't no way this man gonna forget what Scout did to him 3 years, 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days ago. He will forever hold that against him. I think Medic is just being a drama queen, but that's just me. It can be hard to make it up to him. The best way is to spoil him in desserts. Only then will he CONSIDER letting the grudge go.

~

~

NSFW:

-Medic is one horny merc. Practically ready to have a little bit of fun. He's very good at hiding it, though. It's dangerous, man. Once you sleep with this man, you'll never be the same (the medussy be crazy)

-I also wouldn't out it past him to have some rather intimate moments with each merc. Nothing full on sexual, but it most certainly borders on that line. I blame it on him being fine as fuck. He really is one of the most attractive mercs (they all are but work with me here), and combine that with the German accent, not even someone like Spy could fight the charm Medic has

-Also one kinky motherfucker. This man is willing to try almost anything and everything. Some of his kinks are doctor/patient roleplay, blood, needles, BDSM (huge sadist with a little bit of masochism in him), bodily fluids, thighs (especially think ones in thigh high stockings), high heels, whips, restraints, biting/marking, and sounding to name a few.

-Man's a freak and I love him for it

-He's very much a dom, rarely will he ever be a sub. When he's a sub, he's such a brat. He likes to be so defiant cause he lives for the punishments he'll recieve. He knows the type of games he's playing. Sly bastard

(That's all I got for now. Will post more when I get ideas)

[1000roughdrafts]

another request here! could i please request a fic with pregnant!reader (writer's choice for which winchester brother is the dad!) where the three are en route to a new case and are in the middle of nowhere when reader goes into labor and ends up giving birth in the impala? 😊

Warnings: pregnancy, birth, swearing, canon-level arguing between the Winchesters

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Full disclosure, I've never given birth so please forgive anything that doesn't make sense lmao

Having spent the last few weeks on the road, case after case with no space from each other, I had to admit that the three of us were starting to go a little crazy. Sam and Dean had been at each other's throats over the pettiest things since my six month mark in this pregnancy.

Sam would yell at Dean to get his feet off our bed, and Dean would yell at Sam to lighten up. Or they'd argue about who takes what role in hunts. Tonight, I try to just ignore them to focus on packing, but it proves difficult when my name keeps getting brought into the mix.

"I said no, Dean! We're not taking the case," Sam growls, slamming his book shut. "It's at least a days drive from here, if not two and with Y/N so deep into this pregnancy," he lets out a breath, glancing over at me with wide eyes, as if the realization of my quickly approaching due date has just hit him. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

Dean tries to shake the frustration out of his body by punching a pile of clothes into his bag. He aggressively grips onto the next pile and looks up at Sam, face tight, "so we make a couple of stops along the way to make sure everything is alright," he chides with a shrug, the bag ripping slightly as he shoves that pile into it. "Damn it," he says under his breath.

Sam scoffs with a glare in his eyes, "do you even know how many hospitals we pass to get there? None! Not a damn one!"

Dean shrugs, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, "we'll take the scenic route then."

Frustrated, I raise my voice about theirs, "okay! Can you both please stop talking about me like I'm not here!" I shout, my voice shaking with anxiety. They both spin around, shock in their eyes as they meet mine, as if they completely forgot I was still in the room with them. Dean bows his head, "I should be allowed to have a say in this considering… oh, I don't know," I say, pretending to be amused, then raise my voice, "I'm carrying the baby! And I'll be damned if I spend the next 4 weeks of this fucking pregnancy being treated like I need to be bubble wrapped!"

"I'm just trying to protect you," Sam says sheepishly.

"And I'm telling you I don't need protection," I snap. His eyes widen, and head hangs slightly. He takes a few careful steps my way. Softening my voice, I add, "Sam, I'm tired of all the fighting, and I'm tired of being treated like I can't do anything for myself."

He lets out a long, almost unwilling, sigh of agreement. "I get it," he says softly. "I guess I wasn't thinking… we were… he-" he stutters, letting air bounce between his lips when he knows there's really only one thing he should be saying, "I'm sorry. You're right."

"Thank you," I sigh, ignoring Dean's smug smile.

"Oh, don't act like you're any better, Dean!" Sam sneers.

"Stop!" I say as Dean rolls his eyes. He grabs his bag to head for the door, muttering that he’ll be in the car before slamming the door shut behind him.

Sam scoffs, looking around the room with a blank stare. "He's been such a jerk lately," he says, looking back at me.

"He's probably just scared, Sam," I say, brushing the hair out of his face. "I mean, you know how he is. And our lives are about to drastically change. Who knows what hunting will look like when we have a child to take care of. I mean, life is already so dangerous for us, and now we have to protect something so defenseless. That’s terrifying."

---

The cramping starts a few hours away from our destination when we stopped at a gas station for fuel and food. They were mild at first, going away as soon as they started, giving me a long enough break in between pangs to forget about the last.

"Okay, so apparently the victims all have missing hearts," Sam says in a long sigh, scrolling through news articles on his phone. He looks up with a puzzled expression, "we thinking werewolves?"

I grit my teeth as another pang hits. It's almost like I could feel every groove and line in the road. Clearing my throat, I add, "but it wasn't a full moon, was it?"

"No," Sam says in a soft whisper, "but maybe-" a shout rips through me from a cramp, interrupting Sam and he turns to look at me.

The last thing I see before clenching my eyes shut are Dean's eyes flashing back at me through the rear-view mirror.

"Yeah," I lie, my breathy voice giving me away and I yell out again when Dean drives over a bump. I throw a hand to my belly, rubbing the area that hurts. But it's all hurting now, and then nothing again. I take quick breaths. Anxiety riddles me. Did something happen to my baby? I wonder. My eyes open and my heart just pounds.

Dean pulls the car off to the side of the road with a screech when I yell out again, my hand gripping tight to seat in front of me. The second the car has slowed enough, Sam jumps out to get into the backseat with me.

Dean uses the steering wheel to push from to turn my way, "what's happening? Are you okay?" Dean asks while Sam races to unbuckle my seat belt.

"Of course she's not okay, Dean!" Sam growls, his eyes full of worry. I can hear them bickering with “I told you so” and “yeah well if you’re so smart” in the distance. My ears ring, and I'm too tuned into the frogs croaking in the swaying trees.

A tight ache hits me again and my body jerks forwards as a scream lets itself out of me.

"I think the baby is coming," Sam whispers to Dean with wide eyes.

"No shit," Dean mutters, throwing his door open to come to the backseat. He opens the door, using it to prop up his arm as he looks in.

"No, no, no," I cry, shaking my head. "It's gotta be Braxton-Hicks, it has to be-" I plead, tears streaming down my face. "It's too soon," I say anxious as all hell until another wave of pain takes over, and Sam grabs my hands in his.

"It's gonna be okay, Y/N," Sam says, gently squeezing my hands. His eyes pan up to Dean, getting his attention, "we gotta get her pants off her," Sam says quietly, and I groan.

Dean rushes into action, taking my back in his arms to lay me down on the seat. Sam works fast to get my clothes removed, but slows when the ache hits again.

Sam’s eyes widen when he realizes how close we are to holding our baby, and he rushes to remove his jacket, placing it on the seat between my legs. I prop myself up on my elbows, bringing my feet onto the seat to bend my knees and open my legs. Never in my twenty-nine years of life did I expect to be pregnant, let alone give birth in Dean’s car with the damn Winchester brothers delivering my baby, but here we are.

The cold hair nips at my naked skin, but it’s easy to push past the discomfort of that when it feels like a fucking fire was started on my lower half. Sam holds his hands on my thighs as he encourages me, reminding me to breathe and push. The irritability in me adds to the fire, and I want to tell him to shut up, but I don’t. I can’t see Dean, but I know he’s probably as scared as I feel right now, given how out in the open we are. He keeps a firm, but comforting hand on my shoulder as I push, offering words of encouragement here and there, his focus more on the world around us, scanning for danger. 

Dropping my head against Dean’s arm, I let out a groan as I push, the pain almost unbearable now. I could feel the pressure and burning of each one, and after what feels like hours the pressure increases to the worst pain I’ve felt yet.

I squeeze Dean’s hand probably harder than I should have, but suddenly a weight feels like it’s been lifted from me, and I’m washed with relief of the sweet sound of my baby crying. My arms fail to hold me any longer and I fall back against Dean. 

Sam chuckles as he holds our baby, wrapped up in his jacket, close to his chest. With Dean's help I'm able to sit up, still using him as a back rest.

"It's a girl," Sam says with a big smile, tears welling in his eyes. He hands her to me, and I'm overwhelmed with love, joy and exhaustion.

"Shh, shh," I coo before kissing her on her small forehead. "It's okay, we've got you," I whisper. Tears fill my eyes and I can't help but to sob as I look down at her beautiful face. I rock her in my arms, and her cries quickly calm, turning into whimpers. Tracing the features on her soft face I'm mesmerized at how beautiful she is.

Looking up at Sam, my tears continue to fall, but I wear a smile, "we just had a baby!" I say, almost in disbelief. I continue to rock her for a while, as if it were just me and her. Then I feel Dean's hand tap my arm.

I turn to look at his red eyes, then back at my baby, "do you wanna meet your uncle?" I say in a baby voice before looking up at Sam with a silent request to help me hand Dean our baby.

Dean strolls around the Impala to stand next to Sam, taking my daughter in his arms so carefully. He holds her tightly against his chest, eyes crinkling at the corners as he sways with her. He holds his hand over her head to protect her from the wind, bringing his lips down and plants a kiss on the top of her head. "Well, aren't you just a little cutie," he says, then looks over at Sam, "must not take after your daddy," he jokes. "Ha, ha, very funny," Sam says flatly, but smiles. Dean clears his throat after a pause, "do you know what you're gonna name her yet?" Dean asks, and I glance at Sam hesitantly. "Well, I was thinking Mary Y/M/N?" I suggest, and their jaws drop, but their faces light up. Sam takes a few steps towards me to kiss me hard. "It's perfect," Sam says.

~~~ A/N: Y/M/N = either your mom's name or whatever name you want to put here :)

If you liked my story, please remember to heart, comment or reblog. Or if you'd like, you can add yourself to a tag list here if you wish :) Thank you for reading!! :)

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[gracelaurie]

Lover | Patrick Wilson x Fem!reader

(SEQUEL)

previous part click here CHAPTER 1 // CHAPTER 2

Summary : You and Patrick had a one night stand a few months ago. And now you’re 6 months pregnant. You don't expect to meet the father of your child because you’re a woman who prefers to be alone. But fate said otherwise, you meet again with the father who made your stomach grow big.

And you stupidly didn’t know that he was an actor.

Warning : smut, fingering, rough sex, unprotected sex, p in v sex, breeding kink.

It's been 6 weeks since the birth of your twins. Of course Patrick which the father of your baby…has his responsibility, not only focusing his attention on your babies but also he takes care of you.

He took a full 1 month off work after you gave birth. You feel safe with him, in his house in New Jersey. You decided to stay with Patrick because you realized that taking care of two twins born in your own womb was more difficult than taking care of your uncle’s baby twins.

Your belly started to shrink, but not completely. You don’t really care about your appearance, all you think about is your children. In the last 2 weeks, Patrick has started shooting for the Conjuring 4 film project.

You don’t blame him for that. Patrick was actually worried about leaving you alone to work, but you tried to convince Patrick that you were fine and you could take care of your children at home. Although sometimes Patrick likes to come home late at night, even coming home the next morning.

You try to understand and don’t want to burden him. After all, you are both just dating, not yet a married couple.

That night, as usual, Patrick came home late. You are just overwhelmed with taking care of your two babies who have difficulty sleeping and keep crying. but exactly at 11 o'clock they were fast asleep. and a few minutes later Patrick knocked on the door and you found him looking very tired.

“How’s the twins, hon?” Patrick asked then he walked towards the baby box and saw that your babies were fall asleep.

“It’s good that you see them when they’re calm and sleepy, not when they crying loudly.” You said and then Patrick kissed your forehead softly.

You quickly made him some tea as he sat on the sofa.

“Very tiring day, huh?” Patrick muttered then started to turn on the TV which displayed the latest news. “You must be very tired looking after our twins. I’m sorry, I wasn't here just now...”

“Patrick...” you replied, handing him the still warm cup of tea and sitting next to him, “you’re also tired from work and I would understand that.” You unbuttoned the top of Patrick's shirt so that Patrick wouldn't get hot.

“Would you still understand if I was forced to act in a romantic scene and kiss the lips of someone else?”said Patrick while lowering his head. You can see how frustrated he is.

You held his hand, “Patrick... you are a professional actor, that is your job. I don’t have a problem with that as long as you can keep your heart for me.”

“That’s not it,” said Patrick, looking straight into your eyes, “I feel I’m no longer be professional for doing that scene. The director said that I no longer have chemistry with Vera on screen. That’s a bad thing.

“...the kiss scene was re-recorded continuously because I couldn’t do it well. Even though the genre of the film is Horror, I couldn't do it.”

“Why?” a stupid word somehow comes out of your mouth even though you already know the answer.

“I’m getting more and more crazy about you,” said Patrick honestly. He looked at you with a pitiful face, “I’m too pushy to work even though I still want with you here. I...”

Patrick touched your cheek and rubbed it, “I love you.” a sentence that he had never said in a long time and finally said it.

You froze. You don’t know how to react. When you started to open your mouth, Patrick continued, “I really love you. I want to quickly finish the last film in the Conjuring trilogy so I can...”

Patrick stopped. He felt his mouth pulling him to say the next sentence. You raised an eyebrow, “so you can what?”

“So that I can,” Patrick mumbled, his voice getting deeper, his eyes darkening, “I can marry you, have all of you.”

You felt his lips meet yours. He kissed you gently then over time his kisses got hotter and Patrick’s mouth became more aggressive.

Patrick carried your body towards your bedroom. He kissed your lips then laid you down on the bed. You felt his soft hands slowly open your nightgown to admire every inch of your body.

“You’re so beautiful, hon,” Patrick couldn’t stop kissing your body. He kissed your belly, a belly that has given birth to his baby twins. He kissed your chest, then your nipples, he moved up to kiss your collarbone.

He inhales the scent of your musk perfume and you feel his breath rising and falling around your neck, “I've been waiting for this for a long time...” his left hand holds and squeezes your butt, while his right hand grabs your leg to move your body position.

He took off your panties slowly. You can feel one of his fingers on your clit and he rubs it. You’re moaning. And then Patrick starts to insert his two hands into your cunt while his thumb now takes over rubbing your clit.

He starts playing with his finger which controls your cunt. Your cunt is so wet, it soaks your sheets. You continued to moan, then you felt his tongue now rubbing your clit with fast movements. You moan louder as his tongue begins to lick your cunt deliciously.

“Patrick…” you said in a low voice. You couldn’t stop moaning because his tongue was moving faster and faster in your cunt, “Patrick, please...”

Patrick stopped, and he saw that your cunt had soaked almost half of your sheets. Patrick started to open the buckle and then the button of his trousers roughly, and he was now kissing your neck hungrily.

You groaned in pain as he started biting your neck. Both of your hands are now trying to unbutton Patrick’s shirt as his big hard cock now enters your wet cunt.

You can see Patrick’s perfect six pack body in front of you now. Patrick hugged your body, while speed up his fucking movements.

“I will fill your belly with my baby again,” said Patrick in a rough and deep voice. His blue eyes getting darker, looking at you with a look of hunger and lust, “I will make you suffer again because you have to carry my baby for 9 months.”

You shed tears because you felt his huge cock going in and out of your vagina with increasingly fast movements. You felt his breathing getting faster and rougher in your ear, “you understand that, hon? I will give you my baby again in your stomach.”

You nodded slowly. And then he smiled and kissed your lips, “good girl,”

Then he turns your body around, and now the position is doggy style. He inserts his hard cock into your cunt. He’s now riding you while both of your hands are held by him.

You moaned louder, then you felt his lips kiss the back of your neck gently, then slowly you felt his hand strangle your neck.

“Patrick...”you moaned in a low voice, his penis going in and out of your vagina from behind, “Patrick, I want to cum.”

Patrick’s hands squeezed your butt and hit it, “Wait, hon.”

He squeezed your ass, speeding up his movements making you even more overwhelmed and you groaning in pain but it was all worth it after you both cum together. He’s really cum in your wet cunt.

You’re both tired. Patrick takes out his cock then you can see his sperm is still spilling even though he has put it inside.

He laid his body and yours at the same time. He hugged you warmly from behind while both of your bodies were covered by the blanket now.

“That was amazing,” you said.

Patrick kissed your neck gently and tightened his embrace, “I love you, hon, I really love you.”

You smiled, “I love you too...” then you both drifted off to sleep in a sparkling night.

—

[the-other-art-blog]

I had been debating about posting this or not, but I'm going to because this fandom is getting on my nerves even worse than in the last 2 years.

And just to be clear before anyone accuses me of anything, I invite you to spend one minute on my blog. My favorite book is AOFAG. Even when I am highly HIGHLY critical of Benedict for being an absolute jerk for about 70% of the story, Sophie Beckett is the greatest character that Julia has ever written. She's everything that's good in the world 🥹 and her strength saves this story. Benedict has awesome moments and he apologizes in the end, which is rare in JQ's books, so, he has that on his favor + an incredible love confession that Luke T will absolutely nail (I still think JQ cannot write class-difference stories but whatever) Show!Ben is everything book!Sophie deserves and is going to make the adaptation so much better. I can't wait to see that.

I need Sophie in my life.

I've also written many stories about benophie and posted a lot of love for them for the past 2 years.

And you know what I have also seen in those 2 years? Benophie stans being vile, aggressive, rude, and simply put, absolute bitches. They claim to stan Sophie because of how kind she was despite her circumstances but when the news of s3 came out, they turned into full-time haters.

Now that the antipolin blog published something about the actors they like (they even lied about Claudia Jessie!), NOW they are cutting ties with that account and publishing what seems like "PR statements" (loved how a fan called this on tw) saying that the admin of that blog does not represent them. TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE. AND FALSE. Forgive me for not believing you but that blog repeated the same lies you were all saying.

A few months ago, an account on tw posted something like "I have never seen a Benophie being hateful or attacking Polin." Obviously, Polins began replying with ss of the anti blog and other crazy stans. And I didn't see any big account of Benophie come out and admit that that was wrong or cut ties with those problematic people.

For 2 years,

You called Nic an alcoholic and lazy when she posted about Champagne Fridays.

You called Luke Newton ugly every chance you got.

You cut him out of promotional photos and bts or you put something on his face, even when the photos were shared BY HIM. You use HIS photos where Luke T appeared to throw hate at him.

You made tasteless and aggressive comments about the actors and Polin for 2 years, and whenever someone called you out for that, you claimed it to be a joke and that we lacked humor. It even happened on Benophie week 2023 by the account that organizes it!

You claimed that Nic had access to the writers' room, force s3 to be hers, and purposely took SA's screen time and promo opportunities. Nic had to come out and ask all of you to stop sending hate. The unfairness of promo/screen time for Kanthony was not something Nic or Luke did, blame production for that.

You say her activism is performative cause it would kill you to admit that she's doing something good that other actors have ignored so far.

There was not one single post made by the Bton accounts or JQ that did not contain hate toward the actors/ship on the comments, even today that Benophie season is confirmed.

Even a few months ago, I published a few posts about s3. They were positive posts about Pen's makeover and how important it was for me, and this is the kind of messages I got:

Was it from a Benophie? I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me. Also, this is the only one I ss, but I got at least 4 of them after this post (x).

Those very people who are crying right now that Benophies is being associated with the anti polin bitch were spreading the same rumors that she mentioned. And they never showed remorse!

Don't come now and say it's just ONE antipolin blog that spread all the hate. She's not talking to herself either, those anons are real because her posts have likes, so she definitely has an audience. I've met them. Unfortunately, every group chat or discord channel about Benophie is not a safe place for anyone who enjoys Polin.

And yes, I know there are equally disgusting people on the Polin fandom that I have also blocked cause they keep attacking Marina, they claim Pen is a saint when she made big mistakes, and they have also spread rumors and insulted fans and actors like Simone Ashley and Ruby Barker, not to mention the people who are obsessed with LukexNic and attack his gf. Like seriously people, you all need to be institutionalized. There is a big HUGE problem in that fandom too, but right now certain benophies are acting all innocent when I have been here also for 2 years witnessing their hate. No! I can't.

I also can't stand that most of them are loving Cressida because the patriarchy forced her to be an absolute bitch. But Pen is the antiChrist.

Some of them even justify Richard's neglect and abuse. "Richard couldn't leave Sophie with anyone else," "Richard truly loved Sophie." Seriously people.

I know most of them will ignore my post, block me even or come to my inbox to insult me. And I don't care. I haven't seen any other person admitting how hypocritical they are being.

If this offends you, I will assume you participated in the 2-year tantrum against Polin.

That's it. End of rant.

Sorry to be so negative but this really pissed me off. That statement! The nerve!!!! Ok ok, now I'm done.

Next, I will post much more positive, lovely Benophie stuff. These people are not going to ruin Benophie season for me.

[ayahimes]

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

hi friends ! i know i'm a bit late with my post but i still wanted to post something regardless . 2023 had been one of the hardest years of my life thus far outside of the rpc , and even in it to be honest . i lost some good friends but gained some too . i've gotten to know so many of you on a deeper level and bonded with a lot of you over shared interests . so many of you have been patient with me on this blog because of school and for that i am immensely thankful ; i know you all followed because of your interest to write and i do apologize for not being able to fully deliver that due to my busy schedule . however , i do want to allot some time this year to be better about my time management . i honestly can't wait to see what this year brings !

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐘𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

@diaboelic : courtney . one of my best friends . i know i can write essays on why i am so happy to have you in my life but i promise i'll condense it . it's so crazy to me that we've been friends for almost two full years . it's wild because it honestly feels much longer . i know we're both busy making big moves and even if we don't talk every day i am always rooting for you . you're so down to earth and somehow understand how i'm feeling without me having to say it . please keep sending me fanart and spamming me with ig reels . i take forever to look at them sometimes but i love them !! also , im sorry you lost your streak in duolingo but i still think you're ahead of me by like 4 days everytime i do it . COURTNEY - SAN WA WATASHINO SUKINA HITORIDE ( i think this was right but probably not lmfao ) . i can't wait to hopefully explore japan with you . fingers crossed it's this year haha

@visionhcld : b , i will always write nice things about you no matter what . you've been my friend for like .... what .... this would be 6 years ?!!! GOD . you've seen the best and the worst . crazy to think that we made it !!!!! i love you so damn much and i am so lucky to have you in my life . i know we don't write a million active threads atm or talk every day like we used to , but i assure you it doesn't change our friendship . i love being able to pick up where we left off like nothing ever happened tbh . some people don't have that and tbh , i'm so fortunate to have found that with you . we have a ridiculous amount of inside jokes and years of history to pick apart but i leave you with one . jejota !!!

@fairesky : shado . we found each other through the funniest circumstances but i am so happy we did . you have been one of my closest friends these last two years and through you i met some other amazingly wonderful people ( cough leon cough ) . your kindness is immeasurable and i have truly learned so much from you because of it . you've taught me how to be nicer , how to be a better friend , how to care for others in a way i'd like to be treated , and just overall improved my life the last year with your presence . i love you so much and i'm really happy to have gotten to know you better over the course of 2023 . who else will i be an absolute simp with if not you haha

@iirath: essek , i know you're already aware but i am so damn happy to have gotten to know you better over the last year , even more so the last few months . i enjoy talking to you about life and getting to learn about who you are beyond the surface level . you're honestly SO tilt proof ( lmaoooo ) and surely never get mad when we play league . SURELY . thanks for speed running stardew valley with me and letting me run around not knowing what to do while you carry our farm to its greatest potential . you really have become one of my good friends and please know i always look forward to your good morning message in the server with the tired cat emoji haha

@shokutsus : LEON !!!!!!! ayaki will always reign supreme and have the best ship name . i will fight anyone who says otherwise . okay but let me just say i fucking love you dude . i know we haven't had a chance to have our tea talks on fortnite the last few months but i admit , those were some of my favorites . you've helped me through some really tough times and been there for me as a friend when i needed someone the most . i really enjoy thinking of the wildest plot lines for our characters while sleep deprived and playing fortnite ( tbh crackabella and anakin lore was big brained of us ) or discussing with kaine and courtney which part of the centipede we'd be . weird shit but i laugh typing it out lol . okay but fr i want this year to be the best one yet for you !! ps . send more pixel photos

@rosahope : fae , thank you for becoming one of my good friends this year . i'm so blessed to have met someone as grounded as you and i don't tell you enough . i know i'm too much sometimes and impulsive af , but you are my voice of reason and i appreciate it so damn much . you've helped me think outside the box and take things one step at a time . you're one of the realest people and i always welcome your honesty even if it's not something i may initially agree with . tbh i think that's what makes you such a good friends because you're transparent with me . i really am so happy for your big moves with your new job and i am always rooting for you no matter what !! you'll always be my chibiusa and my jessie <3

@prettyguardian : niniiiiiii . firstly , thank you for coming into my life and being such an amazing friend . i admire your tenacity , your creativity , your openness , your vulnerability . the list goes on . you've been there for me when i sought some direction in my life and for that i want to thank you . i know we have yet to write more aerti things but please know i will always gladly write them with you . you've helped me heal with ff . i know that sentence may sound silly at some level but it is a big thing . really !! your friendship has only added improvement within my life and i can't wait to see where it goes this year . sending you all the good vibes for 2024 !!

@cybrvce : light !!!! i'm so fortunate to have gotten to know you more over the last year and actually write with you . your characterization is truly amazing and i'm always impressed with everything you write . yes im slow as molasses but i promise it doesn't mean it's because i don't care !! i just want to write for you when i'm at my best because i want to give you quality writing !! thank you for being patient with me though . you're so kind <3 i'm genuinely so excited to start this year with your friendship !!

@deadn30n : LOOK HERE ALEXANDRA . YOU MADE IT ON THIS LIST BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A GEM . i know we only recently became friends but in that short amount of time we bonded by playing league for like 5 hours straight lmfao . thank you for feeling comfortable enough to ask me for advice and direction though . it means a lot to me more than you know !! also i am here to write yone and kai'sa mutually fangirling/fanboying over each other . that thread is so cute and i am excited to see where it goes . ALSO I'M A NOOB AT XIV SO YOU'VE BEEN WARNED . heck im just bad at all video games lmao . but i look forward to playing them with you !!!!

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

i can't write about everyone , but i can sure as hell tag you all . please know that even if we haven't actively written it doesn't mean i don't want to . i still support you as a writer and creator and enjoy seeing you on my dash !! i have hopes that maybe we can write some day ! but i know we're all busy or overwhelmed with things outside of the rpc so there's obviously no rush . and if we have written or talked then please know that you have truly made my experience here something amazing . i was always a bit scared to come back to such a big fandom , but so many of you have welcomed me in writing ayaka and given me the opportunity to explore her more . so thank you <3

@zaihuos , @autymns , @wcvensouls , @enjomo , @todestochter , @yizao , @ungest , @raikuro , @tealsteel , @sourcewater , @dcndrohime , @rikyos , @nekasu , @meropidas , @scarletooyoroi , @viaetor , @abyssin , @crownlcsking , @raytm , @iedolon , @noctumsilenced , @noctuafought , @capravulpes , @liightbringr , @chiheru , @foliarlight , @mercyburned , @apocryphis , @anostos , @theoneandonii , @gonguji , @sinspast , @mellodiies , @pietys , @knghted , @dualisume , @artificeheart , @erabundus , @momijiba, @supportingfire , @cloudhymn , and honestly all of you .

[matchingbatbites]

Love Grows - Part 5

This part is from Steve's POV, just a little treat for y'all. We'll be back to Eddie in the next part. Also, I've actually done a little planning and this fic looks like it's going to be 10 chapters, which means we're officially halfway through! I'm so excited to share the rest, and I'm glad you've all been enjoying it so far!

Ao3 | Part 1 | Part 4 | Part 6

July 4, '85

Over the last few years, Steve has learned that he’s good at protecting people. He can hold his own in a fight, for the most part, and he can take a hit better than anyone else in their group. When he and Robin get captured by the Russians, his only thought is to keep her safe, to keep their attention on himself so they don't even look twice at her.

He gains a few hits to the face - plus his third concussion in as many years - and loses a few fingernails, but it's worth it when Robin is able to walk away, fairly unsteady from the drugs running through their system, but otherwise untouched.

And Steve is- Steve misses Rosie. As he sits on the bathroom floor, waiting for his nausea to settle, his sweet baby girl is the only thing he can think about. It still amazes him just how quickly she became the light of his life, the absolute center of his world, and now he worries that he’ll never get to see her again. He worries that he won’t be able to apologize to Eddie for not coming back that night, that he never called. 

He hopes that Eddie won't think too badly of him for disappearing for a few days. It’s not Steve’s fault, and he knows it, but Eddie has no idea of what’s been going on in the background of Hawkins, he wouldn’t know why Steve has just vanished. That thought alone is almost enough to make him sick, and probably would if he hadn't just spent the last few minutes emptying his stomach into the nearby toilet.

He’s glad, though, he knows that he’s left Rosie in good hands just in case anything does happen. He knows that Eddie and Wayne will take care of her if he doesn’t make it out of this mess.

Robin starts talking, the room stops spinning, and they throw questions back and forth, trying to see if the drugs have left their system. When Robin asks him “Are you still in love with Nancy?” Steve finds himself answering with a genuine, honest “No.”

“Why not?” she presses, and brown doe eyes flash through Steve’s mind. His head drops back against the bathroom wall as he thinks about silver rings and a teasing smile. 

“I think because I found someone who's a little bit better for me.” 

Steve had always kind of noticed Eddie in school - hard not to notice him, honestly - but had never really interacted with him until Rosie. He had been the first person outside Steve’s little circle to show an interest in the baby, and he didn’t judge Steve for trying to raise her on his own, even offered to help even though he didn't have to, even though he didn't even know Steve. 

And at some point in the last few months, Steve has gone from never speaking to Eddie, to having a full-blown crush on the guy. 

It only gets worse every time he sees the metalhead - when he brings Rosie by the shop while Steve is working, or when they hang out after Steve’s shift, Rosie asleep nearby while something plays on the tv. Little moments that only add to the quickly growing affection he has for the older man.

“And it's crazy. Ever since Dustin got home, he's been saying, you know, ‘you gotta find your Suzie. You gotta find your Suzie-’”

Robin cuts in with a confused “Wait, who's Suzie?”

Steve sighs and pushes a hand through his hair. “Some girl from camp, I guess his girlfriend? To be honest with you, I'm not 100% sure she's even real. But that's not… That's not really the point. It doesn't matter. The point is this person, you know the one that I like, it's somebody that I didn't even talk to at school. And like, I know why, we didn’t run in the same circles or whatever.”

He rubs his forehead and winces at the throb of pain behind his eyes. “It's stupid, I mean, Dustin's right, it's all just a bunch of bullshit anyways. Because when I think about it, I wish I had known them sooner. First of all, they’re hilarious. Like, so funny. And they’re smart, but not like, book smart. They’re smart where it counts, and they’re one of the most creative people I’ve ever met, like super multi-talented. You know, they’re honestly unlike anyone I've ever met before.”

Steve waits for some kind of remark, but Robin is silent, to the point that he asks a soft “Robin? Robin, did you just OD in there?”

A soft sigh, followed by a “No. I am still alive.”

Without thinking twice, Steve scoots forward and slides under the wall to join her, ignoring how the motion aggravates his nausea as he sits upright again. Robin’s face scrunches in disgust as she says “The floor's disgusting,” and Steve huffs a laugh.

“Yeah well, I've already got a bunch of blood and puke on my shirt so… What do you think?”

“About?”

“This person?”

“She sounds awesome.”

And Steve pauses, thinks maybe this once he could be honest, be open with someone about this. He loves Robin, she’s become his best friend so quickly, and if he can’t tell her about himself after the last few days, then…

He replies softly, “Yeah, he is awesome.”

Robin’s jaw drops at the admission and she sits up straighter. “He?” 

Steve nods and shrugs a shoulder. “I always kind of… noticed guys. Like, been attracted to them. But he’s the first guy I’ve ever wanted to actively be with, to date.” 

“Is it Eddie?” she asks, blunt as ever. “Because every time he comes into the shop you get this dopey look on your face, and I’m like 80-percent certain that you stare at his ass whenever he leaves.”

Steve slides down the wall a little and wonders if Robin can see him blushing under the blood smeared across his face. “I- Yes, Rob, it’s Eddie. Didn’t think I was that obvious about it.”

"Don't worry, you're not. Not to anyone who isn't gay, at least."

Steve pauses and blinks at her, asks a soft "You too?" and gets a nod in response.

Robin looks like a weight has been lifted from her, and when she tells him about Tammy Thompson, Steve just beams at her, ignores the ache in his face as he starts to rag on her because really? Tammy? Robin could do better, and he tells her as much, and they're both a giggling mess when Dustin and Erica find them.

July 9, ‘85

It’s a few days after Starcourt when Steve notices something interesting. 

He doesn’t have a job anymore, and though he has been looking for a new one, he’s been loving the extra time he’s had with Rosie, getting to actually spend full days with her without the worry of having to be somewhere, especially while he’s still healing up. It’s a good thing too, because the baby has been extra clingy since he returned from his unexpected kidnapping, with no sign of wanting to let her dad out of her sight any time soon.

Right now though, she’s crawling around the house, going from room to room, occasionally calling out a loud “Ma-ma?” as Steve slowly trails behind her, curious as to what she’s doing. She works her way through the most used rooms, and even smacks her hands on the glass patio door and peers into the backyard. Whatever she’s looking for must not be around, and she seems to realize it as well. 

Her face scrunches up and she sits on the floor, looking dejected, and when Steve goes over she looks up at him with wide eyes and reaches out with a watery “Dada…” The sight makes Steve’s heart ache and he picks her up with a soft “C’mere, nugget,” and carries her up to the bedroom. 

He nearly drops her when she yells “Mama!” and starts wriggling like a worm. Steve turns, sees her reaching desperately for the pictures taped to the nearby wall, and huh. He tugs a polaroid free from the collection and hands it to the baby, and he’s surprised when she settles down and starts babbling once it’s in her hands. Steve stares down at the photo, just a simple, silly one of Rosie and Eddie. And Steve suddenly has a theory.

That's how he finds himself at Eddie's place, Rosie propped on his hip as he unlocks the door with the spare key the Munsons gave him (and god, if that doesn’t make him feel things, that they trust him with a key to their home). He steps inside as Eddie looks up, and Steve sees that the older boy is sitting on the floor, surrounded by pages and pages of what appear to be D&D notes. Rosie lets out a “Mama!” and starts wiggling as soon as she sees Eddie, and Steve carries her over and hands her off to the surprised metalhead. 

“Please don’t tell me I was supposed to watch her and forgot,” Eddie says as he pulls the baby into his arms and hugs her. Steve smiles and shakes his head, sets the diaper bag on the couch before settling on the floor next to Eddie, being careful to not jostle any of the pages.

“Nah. She kept crawling around the house looking for ‘mama’. I figured she was talking about you, and I’m happy to see that I’m right.”

Eddie blinks in disbelief and pulls Rosie back a little so he can look at her. She babbles happily and pats her hands on his cheeks, then squeals in delight when Eddie blows a raspberry into one of her palms. Steve’s heart swells at the sight, as he watches how Eddie interacts with his daughter, sees so clearly just how much they adore each other.

“Mama, huh?” Eddie mutters and presses a kiss to her other tiny hand. “Never thought I’d be someone’s mama.”

Something in his voice makes Steve pause. He hadn’t even thought about what Eddie wanted Rosie to call him, he just thought her automatically associating Eddie as mama was… cute. "If it- if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm sure we can teach her to call you something else-" 

He's cut off when Eddie yelps out a sudden "No!" as he pulls Rosie close and squishes his cheek against hers, an affronted look on his face. “No way! I’m mommy now, fuck you!”

Oh. 

Steve isn’t expecting the bright spike of desire that shoots through him at Eddie’s declaration, and fuck that’s something he needs to think about later and not when he’s sitting right in front of the object of his crush and his infant daughter.

Eddie seems to realize what he’s said at the same moment Steve does, as his face flushes bright red and he immediately averts his eyes. Steve clears his throat, can feel just how warm his own cheeks are as he looks down at the papers around them, desperate for a distraction.

“So, uh, what’s all this for?”

“Uh, D&D stuff,” Eddie replies as he sets Rosie in his lap. She whines for a moment before realizing that he isn’t going anywhere, that he’s just setting her somewhere comfortable, and she settles into him as he distracts her with his ringed hand. “I’m working on the big campaign I plan to run during the school year. Lots of parts, lots of things to have in order.”

“Tell me about it?” Steve asks, genuinely curious, and when Eddie launches into the intricacies of the story, he listens, enraptured. He finds that he’s at his happiest during these moments, when it’s just the three of them, enjoying each other's company and simply existing together.

And like an inevitable fact of the universe, a puzzle piece slotting into place, Steve knows in this moment that he wants this for the rest of his life.

Tag list:

@luciana-rowan @bidisastersworld @little-gae-shit @thehumblefigtree @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @estrellami-1 @shrimply-a-menace @anaibis @livelaughlexa @vampireinthesun @zerokrox-blog @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @idea-less-author @thegingerrapunzel @stevesbipanic @electrick-marionnett @tuesdaycats @seths-rogens @flustratedcas @qomrades @artiststarme @death-the-elf @itsanarrum @linkydinky06 @jaywhohasthegay @aboredowl @maya-custodios-dionach t @eerielake @smolbasilboy @freyaforestafay @gleek4twd @gayngerthings @newtstabber @lucasrightarm @huskysarelife @i-must-potato @thegingervulcan @novelnovella @ryebread375 @stardustonpages @trensu @otaku-bell-livemotto @thev01dd @demolvr @hellfireloserclub @beenovel @anzelsilver @f1ct1onwh0re @ravenphoenix94

[bbokkie]

For The First Time

Scenario: You're rambling something to your boyfriend, you soon worry about being too annoying since he hasn't said anything to you whilst you chattered. You looked at him, only to be met with loving eyes and a love-struck smile. >_o

"It's just like seeing her for the first time again.."

Characters Included: Chamber, Yoru, Phoenix

Disclaimer: This will be in a Headcannon with Oneshot type of form

(hi schnookies i tots forgot u guys haven't eaten anything for the past month sowwy, here's expired food for u<3)

Song: For The First Time - Mac Demarco

Chamber - Vincent Fabron

- Chamber really likes when you ramble, I know this man can go on and on about something-- his looks, or his guns so he loves seeing his loved one ramble on about something because for one, he loves hearing your voice and two he gets to stare at you while all kinds of emotions appear on your face that he oh so loves.

You both sat down on a chair while you told him about your day, the mission you had was crazy, almost life threatening which made the story much more fun to narrate and interpretate.

For the first few minutes into your story, Chamber responded well with jokes and laughter, everything went well! After a few more minutes, you never really noticed him not responding back until you paused to drink water. You realized that you might've been annoying him, with worry in your system you looked at your boyfriend.

Your eyes met with his, his cheek resting on his hand while his eyes deemed soft and warm, his lips curved into a soft yet telling smile, eyebrows softened. Looking at him, your heart ached! You looked at him with a gaping mouth as your cheeks flushed with red.

"What's wrong, mon cheri?" He asked, slightly worried. You closed your mouth as you shook your head. He laughed. "Don't let this face ruin your beautiful storytelling." He said softly. "Trust me, I'm listening with full intent! It's just that the storyteller is such a sight for sore eyes." He chuckled. You looked away with a bright red face. The man laughs again.

"Pardon, do continue. Also, turn your face back to me, I really like looking at something while listening."

Yoru - Ryo Kiritani

- He convinces himself that he doesn't like listening to anything, or anyone to be exact. He hates having to just sit down and listen, ew.

- But.. he adores your voice, he hates listening but you, you were an exception. He could listen to you anytime. Even he's wounded and you're scolding him, he wouldn't be pissed off or annoyed, he'd just be happy he lived to hear you.

It's lunch time, the two of you got your food and sat down in the empty cafeteria.

Sitting down, you then started small conversation. "How was your day?" You asked. "Shouldn't you know already, you've been following me around all day." He said with rolled eyes. "Okay? If I don't follow you, you'd think I'm dead or in a white van." You fired back. He sighed in defeat, or cockyness.

He then asked how your mission was yesterday, he heard from Raze that your mission yesterday was funny and lighthearted unlike most missions.

When he asked you that your eyes widened and sparkles replaced your pupils. It's not everyday your boyfriend asks you about your day. With a skip of a heartbeat you explained the details of your day.

Of course, usually after 4 sentences or so you shove a spoonful of food into your mouth, saying words with a full mouth while making hand gestures only to swallow the food and repeat what you said.

In Yoru's pov, he drifted into his thoughts mid story. Whilst staring at you, he remembered when he fell for you. It was just as simple as a stare when he knew he fell. Before he knew it, his heart ached. It quickened and it started hurting, in that moment he realized something, he was irreparably in love with you.

You realized that your boyfriend hasn't said a word about your story. You stopped for a moment. You though to yourself, "That bitch definitely teleported away to fuck with me."

You looked beside you only to be met with your boyfriend with his chin on the table with a goofy smile and soft eyes. Within seconds, he realized you were looking at him and his back immediately straightened and his cheeks flooded red. You two sat there in silence. He held his hands out before teleporting away.

It took you a few seconds but you bursted into cackling laughter. That shit was so loud, wherever Yoru teleported to he heard it and his ears BURNED.

Phoenix - Jamie Adayemi

- Bro LOVES conversation with you. He'd literally do anything for you to even engage with him even though you two are dating. Honestly, he sometimes forgets you two are dating, even to this day he's still a little shy around you, and does over the top things to hopefully impress you. And every time you two start conversation, he's always lost into something, you.

The two of you sat on a patch of grass, you two were having a little cute picnic date! He first asked how your day went, a simple conversation starter. Without much thought and with a clap of your hands you started rambling about your day.

- I would like to think when Phoenix gradually loses his focus on a conversation he begins to drop from full blown sentences as replies to bland and hopeless "Mhm's"

You continued to talk about your day when you slowly realized that his replies were all sloppy and almost tired "Mhm's". Concern and worry filled your body so you decided to check up on him.

You looked to your side only to see him lying down on his stomach, two palms out and his chin in the middle, eyes soft and filled with love and a goofy, wide smile. You giggled at the sight. Phoenix quickly realized his girly ass action and straightened before laughing with you. "Do I have that much an impact on you?" You laughed.

"Yeah, you've got a pretty face and voice. How could I not be distracted?"

(nahh u got phoenix giggling and kicking his feet 🫶🫶 anyways girlie pops and slaybossers i hope u enjoyed ur monthly BANGERR!!! MAKE SURE TO SMASHGHH THAT LIKE BUTTON AND DESTROY THST GODDSMN SUBSCRIBE BUTTON SO I CAN PAY MY MORTGAGE !!)

[athena-swords]

🌼🌼 PICK A CARD 🌼 🌼

Disclaimer : don't come to me if it doesn't resonate I am just chanelling ok and those who don't have autumn just take September and October month

🍂 The Upcoming Autumn for you 🍂

Here are your piles

Pile 1. Pile 2

Pile 3. Pile 4

Pile 1

Hii pile 1 hope so your 2023 is going good let's see what is happening for you this autumn.

if you are away from your people you gonna met them again and lemme tell you it's gonna be a bash

I am seeing a ending perhaps something you thought will end in a beautiful thing didn't ended like you were expecting

Lots of amusement park or fair or just new energy be ready for crazy companies

you will be making or planning to make a long time investment probably related to your career (think and think carefully before any decision)

Windfall money and unexpected coming projects or just your plate being full

Song chanelled: October,what makes you beautiful and O O Janne jana.

Pile 2

hii pile 2 let's hope you all love the fall season as much as I do now let's get into your reading.

Well you could get to know that someone you considered as close friend or fam has been going behind your back and saying not so nice stuff about you.

You could have been seeing many red flags in a group but we're not leaving so your guides showed you their real self in a harsh way

You could feel fatigue or just down this season(seems like your guys are not a fan of it haa).But don't worry there will be some good news for you

you guys should definitely go check pile 1 you will find some messages for you in there.

the advice for you is that go out and keep a balance don't expect situations to magically work for you gotta show some efforts honey

Songs chanelled:Allah maaf kare, strawberries and cigarettes, team by lorid

Pile 3

Hii pile 3 hope so you are looking up to yourself ,enjoying the days let's look what you have for yourself in autumn yaa

lol did you get your hands on a book you wanted to read for a long time I see you will make a very cosy space for you .

And procastinate in there and will end up doing all the work in deadline dates as please do little bit and don't pile them up

Could go for hiking or just mountains or you could even live there but for some reason I saw snowfall(do you wanna see it once)

Lots of planning and analysis about something all over you somehow will want to feel productive,you will introspect about all the stuff you have been doing and want to do

You could have a new crush or neighbours too....ok byyy hope you liked your reading

Songs chanelled:te amo ,tere hone laga hoon,cruel summer

Pile 4

Hii pile 4 whats happening my babies all of you are going through some shit anyways let's look into it yaa

You all may be going through some kind of rejection and you may have been feeling that now all of your plans are kind of no use??

Anyways the good news is there are other options which are better abd available to you so don't be so much into the grief that you ignore those ones

There might be some old friend or family trying to conntect you again

You could get some clarity on something you have been confused about for a long time

I see that you will work on more of your masculine energy and will take the room

Just a small advice to not over work yourself and trust people who you know wants your well-being

Songs chanelled:Aao Milo chalo,snap,Leyla.

Okay so take this as my comeback pack I would try to not just ghost every platform love you all alot please enjoy every day🕊️🕊️✨✨

Har Har Mahadev

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #38 | 2.27.24 ๋࣭⭑

How is it already almost March omfg.

Anyways Happy Valentine's Day month!!! This year, I was swamped with work, so I didn't get a chance to make Valentine's Day art. I did make a Valentine's piece last year though.

BUT we did have beloved @magunalafay make these Valentine's Day cards this year for the community!!! <3 If you missed it, well Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

She made these as a gift, and I love her very much. Maguna u r so talented

This month was pretty busy for me, but I'm super happy with the progress made this month ^^ I feel like I've started the year off in a pretty good groove after it being all over the place for a hot second, yay!!!

This past month, Etza and Druk's routes. With the revamped demo finishing its revisions, it left a lot more time for me to focus writing on full route development.

If you missed the announcement, I FINISHED Etza's first draft!!! YAAAYYY!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!

That means 4/6 routes are finished in terms of the base writing, which is so exciting to MEEEEE. I've always seen Etza's draft as The Milestone because with their route finished, it would mean the four Central routes are done writing. And to me, while there's a good chuck of writing left, we are nearing the end of it.

There's only two routes left and that means it's about ~100k words which is CRAZY compared to when I had ~300k to write (:cries:). Even if that sounds like a lot, once I start chipping away at those routes, that 100k goes into the "double digits" aka 90k...80k... etc. and that makes me want to pee my pants

We also finished editing Druk's route, yay!!! So we reached a lot of milestones this month ^^

We are nearing the end of the Vui background commissions. It's very bittersweet; I'm so used to mentioning him in my devlogs now </3 There's only like 3(?) more BGs left for him to make, and then all of the BGs for the game will be finished. Very Wild! I think Alaris will have 25ish BGs, and they are all Stunning.

It's been a while since I showed you all a BG, so I'll give you all a preview of one I just got in!

Isn't it cozy? Guess whose house hehe

I personally have been doing a lot of sprite work this month to finish the final art assets for the demo. I added some expressions to Druk and Aisa that I'd been procrastinating (I don't even know why I was procrastinating them). And I finally finished Mom and Kimura's updated sprites! Patreon already saw them, but I'll show the new versions here too ^^

Preview of Mom (left) and Kimura (right) updated sprites. Now everyone's sprite styles are cohesive YAY!!

Aside from sprite work, much of my "art" time has been on finishing up/putting together the last of the screens for the GUI. Specifically, I got THIS BABY up and running. She is my crowning glory.

Memory Screen to Replay Unlocked Free Time Dates

Oh my god.... You all have NO IDEA how much of a pain this was to code. There is a transparency gradient going on in the left and right B&W previews (courtesy of community programming angel feniks/shawna).

And then the effort to have the Titles and Descriptions of the Previewed Date change tilted me on Multiple Occasions. But we finally got it to work thanks to bestie @siyo-koy pointing out I just coded one stupid "if" statement wrong LJAFSLIEFJIEJ. But the effort was WORTH IT because I'm so proud of her!!! I hope you all like it too as a way to relive Free Time Dates. I had a lot of fun with the Titles and descriptions.

I also put together the Stats and Affection Screens

Preview of Personality Stats & Affection Screens

So I coded both of them a bit differently from each other. The Personality Screen shows you a breakdown of your traits so far. Think of it like a pie graph! So in the preview picture, your choices indicate you are 33% Brave, 16% Charismatic, etc. I felt like this was a more natural way to portray personality rather than how many bravery points you've collected so far!

And then for Affection, it works in a more traditional way, where it counts it based on how many you've gotten out of the total amount you can get. This way, as the story progresses, how close you are to the person reflects how much your relationship as developed!

I've also added little descriptions underneath each that change depending on the percentage. So for example, if you have gotten 82% of the affection points for Kuna'a, the description of your relationship might change as well hehe

Other than that, I've mainly focused on getting the demo together. We released the beta demo earlier this month (? LOL). And the feedback has been so kind!!

A lot of this month was spent polishing so that the demo can be ready for early access and eventually public release. I updated sprites, made sure music crossfades with each other so that transitions between soundtracks feel smoother, I added/polished all of the screens I needed to (e.g., Memory Room, Full Credits, Cleaning Music Room, Adding Stats Screens), and I FINALLY as of yesterday added the Voiced Lines!!

One thing I added in the Extended Demo that I'm really happy with is the use of Extended Pronouns (courtesy of Angel Feniks). Below is a preview of how it works now!

Preview of Extended Pronouns Function. Credit to Feniks

Basically, you can choose multiple pronouns for yourself, including custom pronouns (e.g., xe/xem, fae/faer, etc.). On top of that, you can choose how often you'd like the pronouns to alternate (e.g., every line versus every scene) and what kind of terms you'd like to be used for you (e.g., neutral vs. masculine vs. feminine)!

Overall, the demo is getting closer and closer to release!!! Early Access will hopefully be ready by the end of this week or next, so if you all would like access to it, please feel free to subscribe to my Patreon for this upcoming month! Available to Wyvern tier ($5) and up.

I didn't have any time to really play any games this month because I was drowning in work LMFAOSLJIEF. I did play the Threads of Bay demo by @lavendeerstudios and it was GORGEOUS! Very cute game with lovable characters and charming visuals. Andrew, I will have your number

Every other section was really long, so I'm going to throw it here even though it's not market research. But Intertwine recently hit 600 ratings, which is crazy. Thank you for still enjoying that game even if it's not one that is my main focus anymore. I'm really happy people still like it :on the verge of tears:

Anyways, this has been a long devlog. Here's to continuing to Ball in March. Hope you all have a great rest of your month, and I'll talk to you soon! <3

[msnanu]

Life Twist 12 | JJK

⏤banner by the talented and sweet: @archivedkookie ❣

⏤summary ❧ After an enormous loss in your life and breaking a long relationship with your now ex boyfriend, you decided you needed a life twist. So you move into a new country to try restart your life and seek for your happiness. What you weren't expecting was someone like Jungkook entering into your life as soon as you got to Seoul.

⏤𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 ❧ jungkook x female reader

⏤𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 ❧ fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, 4 years age gap (reader is JK's noona)

⏤𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ❧ mature language

⏤𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ❧ 10.2k+

⏤ author's note❧ It's finally here! 😌 - I'm so sorry for delaying this for such a long time, this past month has not been easy for me. When I was getting back into writing my beautiful furry friend decided to cross the rainbow. It took a while for me to feel better honestly. For now this will be the last chapter of Life Twist. I might continue it or not, I'm open to write some drabbles for this couple if requested. I loved writing the story of this two lovebirds and I hope you loved it as much as I did 💜 As always, don't hesitate on leaving your thoughts on the story, it makes my heart warm everytime I read your comments. FYI - I'll be working on new ff's! Love u guys and thank u for the love you gave to this story! 🥰 

"So, you're saying he was totally unfazed about Minho?" says Aria sounding genuinely surprised while Emma added "Like, you did not even sense an ounce of jealousy coming from him?".

The three of you were in a corner of Taehyung's apartment talking or more like whispering about your little encounter earlier today with Minho and JK at the gym's exit. The rest of your friends - including Jungkook - were just a few meters away from you so you couldn’t be too loud with your conversation.

You shook your head and continued "I don't know how to describe it. I’m telling you, he was like another person, not the Jungkook I dated. I mean, for God's sake!" you exclaim shouting in a whisper to your two friends "Last time he saw Minho he kept glaring the shit out of him and now the two of them were acting as if they were friends!"

"Well, I'll be damn. I didn't think he could change this much in four months. Seems like therapy is doing its job" added Aria while taking a sip of her gin tonic.

"And how do you feel about all of this?" said Emma looking at you curiously.

You groan loudly, throwing your head back. "Ugh. That's the thing. I don't know. Every time I see him, I want to jump right on him" you say while watching Jungkook talking to Yoongi on the other side of the room and the girls giggle at your honesty.

"I just-" you stop yourself thinking how to voice out your thoughts correctly "There's a part of me that is full of fear. We are in a good place now, I mean... look we are in the same room, we are not pulling each other’s head off and everything's okay"

"But?" 

"But I'm still in love with him, so madly in love that it drives me crazy. I'm so fucking whipped!" you exclaim while sighing and rubbing your temples.

Both of your friends look at you with worried faces, you're clearly too stressed with the whole situation.

"You know I wasn't rooting for you to fix things up with Jungkook in the first place" starts Aria without any filter as usual.

Auch. That was harsh. But you know Aria means well and she's the type to give tough love.

"But that was Jungkook from four months ago, the guy that couldn't even stand to see someone looking at you. This Jungkook-" she says moving her head in his direction "The one that is doing therapy - even though we know he never was fond of it - in a way it feels like he's a whole new person. He is still the same goofy Jungkook we all knew but I think everything that happened with you made him more mature and maybe - I'm saying just maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to give him another chance" she finishes giving you a sweet smile.

"I can't believe I'm hearing that coming out from your mouth, Aria" said Emma with an amusing tone.

Aria loves Jungkook like a little brother but since you two broke up, she sided with you. There wasn't any bad blood between them at all, but she made it clear that she wasn't happy with how Jungkook had treated you.

You were frowning for a while and seeing that you were awfully silent, Aria's comforting voice caught once again your attention "At the end, it's always gonna be your decision, Y/N. And whatever you decide, it's gonna be okay, we'll be here for you."

"I just don't want to feel any regret, I don't want to make the same mistakes again and again" you mumbled, while nibbling on your bottom lip "What would you do, guys?"

"It's too personal, sweetie. But if you want my opinion, if I were in the same position with Hobi, I would give him one more chance."

"I would too,” said Emma.

It's not like you don't want to give it another go with Jungkook. But it would be your very first time coming back with an ex-boyfriend and the thought of getting back with him and the possibility of your heart breaking up again, terrifies you. Even though, deep down, you know your heart is still with him, you never retrieved it. How could you? You never loved someone as much as you loved him, as you still love him.

And before the wheels in your head starts to work and roll, Aria's voice speaks up again. “That doesn't mean you have to give him a chance tho" she says running her arm around your shoulder and squeezing you a little bit "Maybe you need some more time for yourself, and things might clear up for you on its own"

"Or maybe you just need to go with the flow and relax a bit, don't stress that much overthinking everything,” said Emma.

"That's for sure, you need to calm down, sweetie" added Aria.

"Yeah, I think you're right... I should relax and go with the flow" you repeat - as if it was an easy task for you to do.

And that's the last thing they advised you before you moved on talking about Emma and Joey's honeymoon since they were going soon on a trip to the Maldives.

"Ahhh, Jungkook-ah, stop with the puppy eyes, you're gonna give me a headache" Yoongi teases the youngest, wiggling his brows. Jungkook rolls his eyes although a soft grin spreads on his lips, clearly knowing he got caught staring at you. There's no point on denying it. He doesn't want to be creepy, but you look so beautiful, you always do and it's getting harder for him not to drool over you every time you're near him.

"I can't help it, hyung"

"Did you two talked again about... you know, your relationship?"

"No. We talk about anything but that" the maknae simply responds with a soft smile plastered on his face, reminiscing every single conversation he shared with you these last few days. Just talking with you makes everything better.

"And you're... fine with that?" he asks slowly, sounding confused and surprised at how calmed Jungkook is acting about you and your relationship.

Jungkook gives him a slow nod as he says, "I'm happy of being part of her life again, hyung."

It's obvious that he wants to be with you. But after being apart from you for two months when you broke up and not being able to talk or even see you, he knows that he has to appreciate that you're back in his life, even if it's not in the way he's yearning. If he wants to get you back, he knows he'll have to be patient.

"You know, I bought her a ring before we broke up" suddenly Jungkook confesses, sounding almost proud of himself which catches Yoongi off guard and JK sees it by the way Yoongi's lips part.

"A ring, like- an actual engagement ring?!" he asks right away.

Jungkook nods, pursing his lips in a deep thought before saying "Yes, I was gonna propose in our first anniversary but then all hell broke loose and there went my plans with it" 

"Wow. I didn't expect that."

Yoongi was actually the first person to know this. Neither of his other hyungs knew anything about the ring, not even Jin or Jimin. It's the first time he feels like he can properly talk about it without crying his eyes out. And even though Yoongi is not the most open person in terms of feelings, Jungkook always felt comfortable voicing out his thoughts with him.

"Maybe it was for the best, even if I had to go through an unbearable pain." says JK while he sees Yoongi frowning "Maybe I needed to go through all of that to become a better person, not just for her, but for me as well. She deserves the best version of me. I just wish I hadn't made her suffer in that process."

Yoongi stares in silent at Jungkook with a sense of proud and the youngest frowns while saying "What?" 

"Nothing. It's just...you are all grown up now" says Yoongi pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jungkook snorts finding very amusing Yoongi's reaction. "Hyung, every time I see you, you say that same thing."

"Because it's true! You've grown up so much!" he exclaims, smiling as Jungkook grins taking a sip of the glass of wine in his hand "Well, at least you already have the ring for whoever you'll end up with."

Yoongi sees JK gulping while he fights that lump that is stuck in his throat "That ring belongs to her, hyung. I know it'll end up on her finger sooner or later" he says, wanting to sound as hopeful as possible.

"You sound confident, Jungkookie."

"I-...I just know we'll end up together somehow, I have that feeling, you know?" he says softly, taking another gulp of his glass of wine.

Yoongi nods, listening to JK's words carefully before asking "And you'll wait for her no matter what?"

"Always. She's worth it." Jungkook responds quickly, without a single ounce of doubt.

A few minutes later you were on Taehyung's big balcony, watching the stars illuminating the beautiful night sky. After gulping down what would be your second glass of wine, you were feeling warmer and relaxed. You could hear your friends' voices from inside, hearing Jimin and Yoongi's all-time bickering made you smile without even realizing.

"How was your physical therapy session, noona? Everything okay?" a soft and well-known voice resounds from behind pulling you out of your little world.

You turn around, your heart fluttering and your face feeling hot at the sight of your ex-boyfriend smiling at you. A thousand butterflies swirling inside your stomach.

Fuck. I love you I love you I love you - your mind is repeating non-stop. How is it even possible that such a gorgeous human being exists?

You purse your lips, trying to play it cool. "It was good" you respond after a while "It was actually the last session today, so I guess my hand is finally recovered." 

"Oh! Really?" says Jungkook with an enthusiastic tone "Let me see how it looks."

Your eyebrows furrow for a moment. He gets closer to you, taking your hand in his and looking at it, as if he was some kind of doctor and for some reason it makes you giggle. He looks down on you and suddenly you stare wide-eyed at him because of the proximity of your bodies. Jungkook notices how nervous you seem to be, he knows that look on you, he tries to hide his amusement but fails miserably when you see a little twitch on his lips.

And you can't stop looking at his lips. You are mentally screaming, throwing hands at yourself thinking how fucking weak you are when it comes to this man in front of you.

"I missed seeing that look on your face."

"Wha-What look?" you stutter a little bit. 

Fuck. Keep it together, Y/N

"The one that you had every time you were checking me out" he shamelessly says.

You stumble back a little bit as he tries to hold back a laugh. He always finds you adorable when you get flustered.

"You know, sometimes you're too cocky" you say trying to sound as unaffected as possible even though you know you're failing miserably.

"Maybe, but I also know you, Y/N. And I'm sure you were thirsting over me" he giggles before taking a step closer to you and making you freeze in your spot, then he leans in and whispers at your ear “And just to be clear, if it were for me, I would be kissing you since the moment you set a foot on hyung's apartment."

Chris voice is heard getting closer to both of you, Jungkook steps back a little with a triumphant grin on his face seeing how flustered you are. You gulp all the saliva that has collected in your mouth, touching your hot cheeks and trying to compose yourself to not look suspicious to your best friend who's now approaching.

"So, you two lovebirds, are you already back together or you're just busy flirting with each other?" said your best friend with a mischievous tone in his voice.

Is he fucking kidding?  You are sending daggers towards Chris with your eyes. Him and his inappropriate comments. Jungkook just giggles and shakes his head at his hyung.

"Oh- okay I-I just wanted to tell you something" says your best friend stuttering at first a little scared when he sees you looking at him as if you wanted to murder him "As you know my birthday is coming soon."

Jungkook and you just nod your heads waiting for your best friend to continue, since it is no news for anyone. Chris has been blabbering about turning 31 for the last month or so.

"I really wanted to do something different this time, so I rented a nice place in Gangneung right in front of the sea, for all of us to have a little weekend get-away."

"Wow, that sounds cool, hyung. I'll be there" Jungkook quickly replied. 

"I assume I don't need to ask you anything, if you are not there, I'll kill you with my own hands" says Chris towards you trying to sound intimidating.

"Oh!" you feign fear putting your hands over your chest with an exaggerated ironic tone "I'm so scared!”

"I'm so scared" repeated Chris in a mocking tone and you punched him in his arm.

"Fuck" he hissed grabbing his arm "That hurt.”

"My hand is good as new now so don't test me, Christian" you threaten your best friend as he sticks his tongue out to you and you repeat his actions.

Jungkook just laughed at the scene in front of him with you two bickering as always. Sometimes you two seemed to be younger than him.

A few days later you found yourself at the gym again releasing endorphins and also observing your ex-boyfriend from afar while you are running on the treadmill.

It's not like you are a creep and you're just staring at him. You were minding your own business when you came across with your ex-boyfriend form, standing next to the benches. Jungkook looked visibly uncomfortable with some girl next to him that was clearly flirting with him. His doe eyes kept glancing towards your way as if he was mentally pleading for you to help him.

After seeing over the next few minutes that the girl wouldn't give up and leave him alone you thought - okay, I should probably help him - yeah, it's not like you're jealous or anything, he would help you too if you were in the same situation, right?

You stopped overthinking and you walked with determination towards Jungkook and that girl.

"Hey baby, are you ready to go?" you said grabbing softly Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook's doe eyes look right at you and a smile grew on his face while tugging you close to him. "Yes, gorgeous" he said. The girl in front of you widened her eyes, you could see how embarrassed she felt as Jungkook happily introduced you "This is Y/N, my girlfriend."

Girlfriend. You did not realize until now how much you were missing him calling you that way.

"Oh" the girl said giving you a nod "Nice to meet you. Sorry. I should go."

The unnamed girl disappeared quickly and when she was nowhere to be seen you realized Jungkook still had his arms around your waist. He must have realized too because while clearing his throat, he took his arm back and scratched the back of his head saying "Thanks, she was clearly flirting with me but didn't get the hint that I wasn't interested."

"No biggie, I could see a mile away that you were uncomfortable, I'm glad I could help."

He smiles sweetly at you and you're having such a hard time trying not to kiss him right now. Such a beautiful smile he has.

"Are you leaving already Y/N?" he says waking you up from your trance.

God. I hope he didn't notice me drooling over him again.

"Um, yeah in a bit, I have to finish my routine, but I guess in about ten minutes I'll be done with it.”

That sounded natural. As if you weren't spacing out thinking on a hundred different ways to bang him.

"Great, I'll take you home."

"No need, Kook. Don't worry about it.”

Kook. Oh, how he loved when you called him that nickname. He hasn't heard it in a while. It made him smile instantly.

"I wasn't asking, noona. You helped me, now I want to help you. Don't be stubborn" he said softly nudging his arm with yours.

"Okay, I guess" you said giggling.

Twenty minutes later, you are on the passenger seat of his car, giving him your new address since you realized that he didn't even know where you moved in.

Yes, you had moved out from Chris' apartment a few weeks ago. Although you were very comfortable while living with him and he made sure to let you know that you could stay with him as long as you needed, you really wanted to have your own place. Plus, even if he said that you weren't, you knew that somehow you were disrupting his life. 

He couldn't even have a proper date with Irene at his place because you were there, though you tried to go out with Emma and Aria as much as you could to give them as much alone time as you could.

As Jungkook parked in your building entrance he said "You are living really close to my place now, it's a walking distance. Cool"

"Honestly this is the best area out of all the apartments I went to check."

And it really was. It's not like you were looking for apartments near his place on purpose.

He nods. "And you have security at the entrance, that's relieving."

"Yeah" you say chuckling "That was essential for me and one of the main things that helped me deciding on this apartment." 

He smiles and says, "I'm glad you finally found your place here."

For a moment, you feel like you are already missing him even though he's right next to you. You don't want him to leave. You don't want to go upstairs alone to your apartment.

It's not weird if you invite him in, right? You are cool with each other, it's not like you can't control yourself. But maybe it would be weird for him? Ugh, you hate yourself right now. Fuck it. You'll just go with the flow.

"Do you wanna come upstairs for a drink? I'll give you an apartment tour." 

That definitely took Jungkook for surprise. But his smile grew from ear to ear.

"I would very much like that, yes" he said.

"Great, let's go then."

As soon as you entered your apartment building, the concierge - Kim Jin Hyuk - greeted you both and you introduced Jungkook. You told the concierge that JK should be included on your list of 'frequent guests' from now on, so he took JK's information to prepare his access card. 

Jungkook heart felt warm to know that you wanted to include him in the frequent guest list, even if it was a small gesture. Day by day he could feel you getting closer to him and opening a little bit more. 

If you were part of the frequent guest list, you were given a special card to be able to pass the access control system installed on the building entrance without having to wait for the concierge to call the owner - in this case you - and ask permission for the guest to be able to go upstairs. Of course, the card had to be also used on the elevator which would only take that person to the floor that was assigned to that card.

The security on this building was something else. And after the sad events with Ethan on your previous apartment, you were decided to move in into a place that made you feel secure in every sense, and this was it for you.

"Wow, this is amazing" said Jungkook as he entered your living room.

It's a four-bedroom apartment, a little bit bigger than Jungkook's but it shared a pretty similar vibe. And you were in love of every space on it. Specially the living room, it was big, with a modern marble fireplace - yes, a fireplace - and had a large window with beautiful views of the city. It was an amazing part of the apartment where you liked to spend most of your time in.

After giving him a tour for every single room, you finished in your bedroom with the huge en-suite bathroom.

"The shower is pretty big" you suddenly said, giving Jungkook a sheepish grin.

He smiled too. He knew what you were hinting on. The first time you slept together he had teased you saying that whenever you moved in together you would need a bigger shower. Another thing he missed about you. Your constant teasing. "Mmh, not so sure about that, maybe we should try it out." 

"Oh, I actually tried it with Chris and Irene" you responded with the most natural tone.

"Huh?" says immediately Jungkook with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, the first time I came to see the apartment they came with me and we tried it, Irene was like 'OMG this shower fits like four people' and she made us all - including the real estate agent - get inside the shower just to prove her point" you chuckled while reminiscing on that day and thinking how fools you've must look when you all were inside the shower.

"OHHHHHHHHHHH" Jungkook says as if he finally understands what you're talking about. What was he thinking you were talking about?

"Oh my God!" you exclaim giving him a punch on his arm "Jungkook did you think that I had a threesome in the shower with my best friend and his girlfriend? Are you out of your freakin’ mind?!"

You are both laughing nonstop until he says "Sorry! It's just that the way you said it, it sounded so bad."

"Such a dirty mind you have in that pretty little head of yours" you say shaking your head and still giggling.

"When it comes to you, yeah. It kinda ends up always in that same part of my brain" he said smirking and making you blush.

"Stop it!" you say as you start walking towards your living room with him following your steps behind and still laughing. 

Afterwards, you shared a few drinks and talked about random things, as always. It felt good. Like old times. But in the end when the night came, he had to go home, and you were left all alone in your apartment.

You were now laying on your bed, with your eyes on the high ceiling. You could hear a storm unraveling on the outside. As it was starting to rain, you felt the urgent need to talk with your dad. 

"I saw him a few hours ago but I still miss him a lot, dad. I miss us. But I'm not sure what to do. I wish you were here to help me; you always said the right words" you say as a sigh follows your words.

Suddenly a box that was on top of the closet falls, scattering on the floor all the things that were inside of it.

You had seen that box too close to the edge of the closet a few days ago but you were too lazy to grab a chair and move it to a proper place where it couldn't fall.

"Fuck. I knew it was a matter of time for that to fall" you whispered as you got up to gather it.

When you started gathering everything, your attention gets caught instantly to certain picture. You pick it up and can't help to smile at the sight in front of you. 

It was your first picture with Jungkook. The one he took when you went for a hike when you were staying at Hobi parents’ cottage. And it hits you like the lightning that you just heard from the outside.

You want him. You love him.

"I got your message, thank you dad" you say looking up and quickly getting out of your apartment without thinking for a second. 

You ring the bell of the apartment once. A few seconds after, Jungkook opens the door and as he sees you standing in front of him, his face lights up with a huge and welcoming smile on his face until suddenly he realizes you are soaked and his eyebrows furrow as he looks at you with worried eyes.

"Bab- Y/N are you okay? You shouldn't be outside with this storm. You're soaking wet."

"Oh" you mumble and chuckle while looking down to your clothes "Yeah, I forgot to bring an umbrella."

"Did something happen?" he asks quickly.

Yes. I love you. You were right. We are end-game. I'm sorry it took me all this long to accept it. I was scared. That's what was going through your mind, but you didn't say anything.

You shake your head, and your body moves on its own going straight into hugging him, enveloping his huge body to yours "Please, hold me" you simply say, and it doesn't take him more than one second to hug you back tightly.

With your nose pressed against his chest, you notice his shirt smells just like him, his favorite fabric softener, and that amazing cologne he always wears. That Jungkook scent, the one he always holds, the one that smells like home. 

"Kook," you murmur while you look up to his doe eyes, "Can we please talk?"

"Of course, Y/N" he gives you a small grin as he drags you inside his apartment "Come with me. I still have some of your clothes in my closet, you should change the ones that you have now, you'll catch a cold if you don't." he says, a worry flashing in his eyes as you just nod and follow him.

A few minutes later you were already changed into one of your summer dresses, you didn't even remember that you had left it here. Sitting on his sofa, right next to each other, he decides to speak first.

"So…what do you want to talk about?" he asks lowly as you suck in breath, heart racing against your chest.

Being able to see and talk to each other these last two months, for a moment it had made too easy to believe this chapter with Jungkook was closed when nothing was forcing you to read it. But now it was too late to pretend everything was fine. It wasn't. You couldn't be his friend. You didn't want to be his friend. You needed more.

"You were right, in the end. About you and me, we should be together, we—" you caught yourself, your heart heavy. "I cannot do this anymore; I can't pretend that I'm okay. I don't want to be without you. Since that day when we broke up, when I broke up- I've been trying to convince myself that it was the right thing to do, that I didn't love you anymore, but I can't keep lying to myself or to you."

His eyes looking straight to yours. Sparkling with hope and so much love. His eyes always tell so much.

It was the first time you'd brought up your break-up fight in the past four months. It had been ugly, and shameful for you. You never screamed at each other before that day, but the events unleashed by Ethan and Lina plus Jungkook's lack of confidence, turned into the biggest fight you had. Coming to think about it, that day you both did things you weren't happy about. And you, unlike Jungkook, you hadn't apologized not even once to him.

This was your opportunity to both heal and move on from the past. If you had a slight chance to build up again your relationship, having a sincere talk with him was the best way to start.

"Y/N, I..." He hesitated for a second, but when he spoke again, he sounded more self-assured. "I was wrong back then. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry, too, Jungkook, I..." you said looking down and remembering your actions that day you felt ashamed of yourself "I never actually apologized for slapping you on the face that day and-"

"No. I mean, yes, we both—but I—" He cleared his throat. "I should have supported you. And I should have apologized before the wedding, I should have gone to Chris' hyung apartment and talk to you but I feared it would be unwelcomed. I know I said this before, but I'll say it again and as much times as it's needed. I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am."

You could feel the weight of his gaze on you, but you didn't move. You hadn't realized how much you'd needed having this talk with him. Even if he had already apologized on the wedding. Even that being totally honest, after the break-up, you couldn't stay resentful for long. You'd forgiven him long ago. But hearing him admit his faults was still a relief. Somehow it gave you reassurance.

"Thank you, Kook." You offered him a soft smile. 

"You know, for a moment, I thought that you would hate me forever for how I treated you that day, I was so afraid of you hating me, but you are such an angel-" His voice broke. He scratched the back of his head, then went on sighing. "I should have been there for you, Y/N."

The regret in his voice was painful. It sent your mind flying in all directions, down all of those roads you never dared to tread. You'd always been good at reading him when you wanted to. For the last few months, you'd refused to. But just then... just then, his walls were down. It was impossible not to see... not to wish...

Right then, seeing him this vulnerable you realized, you were tired of hiding your feelings.

"I still regret pushing you away" you said voicing out your thoughts once again.

This, Jungkook could find a way around. He could tell you it was fine and that you'd done nothing wrong. He could pretend he didn't understand that you were still deeply, shamefully in love with him. But his breath caught, and for a long second, he said nothing.

"Do you...?" He bit his lip. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure Jungkook could hear it. "I never stopped loving you, Y/N. I... You know this... If you want, that is, I want to... I want to give us another chance. It doesn't have to be now, if it's not the right time. It can be... if you need more time..."

Jungkook trailed off and looked away. The blush on his cheeks had deepened. He seemed so angry at himself for his embarrassment that your already heightened senses were sent into overdrive. There he was, telling you what you'd been wishing to hear again, and absolutely being himself while at it. So unapologetically himself, too, that you could have never even resisted even if you'd wanted to.

"I don't need more time" you finally said.

That was enough for Jungkook. His shoulders fell in relief as a smile lit up his face. You could've sworn he outshone the sun. It made you smile, too, but then a small, nervous laugh escaped you.

"This is not what I had in mind when I came over," you admitted.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. I left my apartment feeling like I was going insane, and you could always keep me from spiraling too deep. I just... I needed to be with you."

Your words struck Jungkook. He shifted, taken aback, his mouth open far before any words could come out.

"I don't want to spend another day without you," he finally said. “I know who I want to be. And I hope -” He takes in a breath, eyes shining with hope and sorrow and everything in between. “- I hope you’ll be there with me.”

You swallowed. There was that awkwardness about him, that feeling of not knowing what to do with his hands, or with himself sometimes... it emboldened you. Jungkook didn't want to force contact on you when you were so upset, but his unsure stance told you that he wanted it as much as you did. With this in mind, you didn't hesitate in scooting closer to him.

Jungkook's arms were wrapped around you in an instant. Everything that was weighing down on you no longer felt so heavy. You let your head fall on his shoulder, breathing him in, and the tears you didn't know you'd been holding back were now flowing freely. He didn't pay it any mind until your stilted breathing gave you away, and he pulled back to look at you.

"No, no, don't cry" he said with worried look while running his thumb over your cheek.

"I'm sorry." you said, wiping your eyes, smiling in a way you knew to be unconvincing. "It's just been... too much."

"It's alright." He gave you a little peck on your forehead while his hands had dropped to your waist, refusing to let go of you. "Feeling better?"

You nodded and leaned back into his arms. Just like that, it was like no time had passed between you two. The closeness, the intimacy, it all came back to you with alarming speed. You're so ready to seize this moment once and for all.

"I can't believe it's been four months" you said.

"I know. It feels like forever."

"In a way, yes... but it feels like nothing changed at all."

"It did," he contradicted you with confidence. "We've grown. We've learned. Specially me. This time, I know how to make this work."

"No screaming, then. Or doubting each other" you stated firmly.

Jungkook laughed softly, sending chills down your spine.

"It's a promise."

You stayed like that for a few more seconds, enjoying the closeness. But you wanted more. Jungkook's arms were safe, he was so warm, and he smelled so good that you couldn't stop yourself. You only had to raise yourself a little to get yourself a kiss - so you did.

Your lips found his without trouble, and your heart exploded when he immediately kissed you back, as if he had been expecting, hoping for this already. He was tender, but intense, just as you remembered. It felt like home. You'd missed him so much, too much, and it was driving you insane even as you didn't have to long for him anymore.

He cups your face in gentle manner, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "I love you so much, Y/N" he tells you. His beautiful Bambi eyes hypnotizing yours.

"I love you too, Kook" you softly respond, his smile growing wider as ever as you lean in kissing him once again.

Having his soft, pliant lips against yours was igniting a fire within you. Your kisses grew desperate, bold in their familiarity. Your hands were no longer cautious. You were tangled in his hair, traveling up and down his back, and Jungkook was pressing you against him with a resolve that almost took you aback. It was impossible to miss how Jungkook's body was reacting to this kiss. He'd always been easy to ignite, but you hadn't expected to be thrown back into that whirlwind so quickly and you weren't expecting to crave it so desperately.

His teeth dragged on your lip, maddeningly restrained. At the same time, his hand dropped down, brushing your bare knee. The contact against your skin made you gasp, and his hand, stayed there for a second before going back to your waist. No. You couldn't have that. His featherlight touch had made you wish that his long fingers would trace their way up your leg, straight to where you were starting to burn. And that's how you knew that you were too far gone. You weren't supposed to want reconciliation sex with your ex-boyfriend. You weren't supposed to moan so wantonly between kisses and brazenly open your legs for him, silently begging him to slip his hands under your dress and inside —

 Jungkook froze. For a split second, you feared you'd gone too far, too fast... but he was disheveled, eyes blazing, voice hoarse and tense.

"Are you sure about this, baby?"

That freaking petname. Dear God.

Right then, when you were so full of raw emotion and pent-up desire, denying yourself was not an option. You wanted Jungkook all around you, and you wanted not to feel this heartache anymore.

"Yes. Please."

That was all the encouragement Jungkook needed. His hand went up your leg exactly the way you wanted it too, hot and heavy and leaving a trail of fire. His mouth was now on your neck, nipping and sucking on your blazing skin just carefully enough not to bruise you, even though you didn't care, you just wanted all of him. You let out a whimper when his fingers finally reached between your legs, above the fabric of your lacy underwear. You moaned, encouraging, dropping your hands and twisting around so you could open your legs wider.

He was looking at you intently, no doubt absorbing the sinful image you presented. He reveled in your whimpers every time he pressed or caressed just the right spot - but he never stayed there for long, and the fabric between you two was only making you more desperate.

"You're so beautiful, so, so beautiful" he said.

But before you could answer, he was in contact with your hot, wet skin. His eyes widened, and even you were surprised at how easily his fingers slipped around, making you gasp, your body shocked awake. Fuck. You were so ready. You had been ready for all these months without him. And Jungkook... Jungkook was absolutely gorgeous. He always had that piercing look in his eyes that never failed to make your legs feel weak, but right then, with his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly parted, he looked obscenely divine.

After running his finger lazily up and down a few times, he slowly pushed it inside you. You were holding your breath, trying to hold on to every single second of this - but once inside you, he curled his finger just so you cried in delight, and then again when his thumb pressed on your clit, working you in a slow rhythm that was threatening to drive you insane. His other arm was around your shoulders, giving them both balance and pulling you closer to him so he could go back to kissing your neck. The steady pace was sending you one jolt of pleasure after another up and down your spine, finding place in your belly and curling up onto itself, more tense with each passing second.

But Jungkook had other plans. He removed his hand, but you didn't have time to protest before he knelt in the floor in front of you, a questioning look in his eye. You nodded without thinking, and his grin widened into a hungry expression that made your throat tighten. You wanted it so, so badly. Since the breakup, more than once you'd tried to imagine how Jungkook's tongue would feel again as it brushed against your most sensitive areas, and every time, you'd blushed and pushed the thought away.

There was no need for that now.

While you got used to the idea, Jungkook yanked down your underwear. It was the hottest thing you'd ever seen - Jungkook, down on his knees, his face between your legs and eager to please, always. You watched in awe as his tongue reached out tentatively, barely touching your already stimulated clit. You squirmed. He did it again, this time more slowly and firmly.  Oh, how you missed this. This felt good. Too damn good. His smug, glinting eyes were locked on yours, as he kissed all around your most sensitive areas, everywhere except where you needed him the most. He teased your exposed skin as if he had all the time in the world. It felt like heaven, but he was still refusing to give you the relief you—

The air was forced out of your lungs when Jungkook's lips latched onto your clit, sucking it with the same sort of leisurely care he'd been giving you so far. Fuck. It was nothing like you'd imagined these past months and everything you'd wanted. You couldn't keep up. His tongue and lips were doing wonders, sucking, licking faster, and faster, until you were a gasping, moaning mess, grabbing locks of his hair and pulling him closer against you.

Without warning, he buried a finger inside you. Your head fell back, eyes closed shut. This overstimulation short-circuited your senses and sent your whole world spinning. Jungkook didn't slow down, didn't let up, and once again you found yourself reaching for paradise, hoping for release from this delicious torture.

"Jungkook..." you breathed out. "Jungkook, please..."

That's when he stopped. Your eyes flew open.

You knew his game. Jungkook had always loved bringing you to the brink of an orgasm and no further time and time again, until you were sufficiently wound up and could no longer keep a hold on yourself. You'd always trusted him to deliver, so you only sighed in frustration, a frustration that was short-lived as you watched him wipe his mouth with his sleeve. Your heart stopped. Fuck, that was hot. All you wanted was to push him to the floor and ride him to oblivion right then and there.

Jungkook, however, always put up a fight. He always had a trick up his sleeve. He stood up, his arms now underneath you and lifting you from the sofa. He carried you bridal style the few steps that separated the living room from his bedroom. As you reached his bed, he didn't quite lay you down, but didn't quite let you fall - somewhere between gentle and desperate, considerate and wild, and the second you touched down he was already on top of you, kissing you fiercely, his hands all over your body, trying to reach as much as he could.

You were reeling. Jungkook's weight on you was numbing your good sense. You wanted to touch his naked body and feel his burning skin pressed against yours so badly that your hands found themselves under his clothes on their own accord, sliding up and down his back, grabbing his ass, pressing him firmly against yours, pulling, tugging on the fabric as if that would make it come off.

Jungkook's kisses grew hotter, deeper, until he broke apart for a second. You were hypnotized by the sight of him sitting up and taking off his shirt. You let your fingers catch on his waistband and pull down resolutely. Jungkook shifted to allow you to take off his pants, but you were greedier than that, hooking your fingers on his underwear as well. Everything came off, and just like that, Jungkook was stark naked on top of you.

You were gaping. Jungkook's arms were defined and his chest strong. He was fully erect, clearly yearning to take you, and your need was so overpowering that you almost missed the ravenous look in his eyes. And you couldn't handle it. You slid one of your hands against his chest and your other hand found him, hard and ready, and you were starting to return the pleasure he'd just granted you, when he pulled away carefully, as if it cost him his life. His voice was dangerously uneven when he spoke.

"I want you, Y/N. Now."

He didn't need to say it twice. You felt yourself almost aching with anticipation as he positioned himself between your legs... but he didn't enter you. He was instead grinding against you, basking in just how wet you were for him, this friction seemingly enough for him. You gave him a pleading look that made him smirk.

"You're not playing fair." He spoke. His hands slid up your legs, grabbed your ass, then continued their way up under your dress. He was lifting the fabric as he went, still rolling his hips against yours when he reached your breasts, at which point you had to lift yourself up to allow him to pull your dress off. His arms caught you on your way back down, his long fingers finding the clasp of your bra and undoing it in an instant.

Only then did you lay back down, this last piece of cloth disposed of as you did. He tossed it aside, never taking his eyes off of you.

"Much better."

You had to agree. After all this teasing, your nipples were reacting to the slight change of temperature and the feeling of freedom. Jungkook brushed his fingers against them, sending chills down your spine. Then he squeezed them softly before leaning down to catch a hard nipple in his mouth. You let out a surprised breath. Jungkook's warm tongue drew circles on your skin, his teeth dragging gently against it, alternating this attention between your breasts. And then he was grinding faster, still outside you, his breath heavy with pleasure against your sensitive skin. You couldn't take it. Your muscles were itching for relief and this throbbing emptiness was almost painful.

"I thought you wanted me now," you complained between moans. You were in paradise, but your body still screamed for him. This was not enough. It was maddening.

"And I'm having you, am I not?" Jungkook barely lifted his head as he said this. Your head rolled back when his mouth found your nipple again, this time sucking hard.

Now you were moving too.

"Jungkook, please... I want... I need..."

And then, only then, then he pushed in.

He went in slowly, allowing for the long-forgotten sensation of fullness to wash over you. It was almost enough to make you finish. You were expecting some discomfort after all this time, but your body was too worked up, so you wrapped your legs around him to pull him deeper into you without care. You both gasped. You could almost, almost taste the kind of pleasure that you needed. You rolled your hips once, twice, making him shudder.

"Fuck, Y/N..."

He shifted, leaning back to kneel between your legs, the sudden movement sending a wave of pleasure through you. Your ankles locked behind his back as he started moving, his thrusts shallow and tentative at first, but he gradually pushed longer and harder until you felt him just right, just in the precise way that made you lose control of yourself.

"T-there."

And then it was chaos, and bliss, and everything you had been so desperately craving. Jungkook was moving inside you with a delirious abandon that paralyzed you, the pleasure spreading to every inch of her body. You were being stretched and fulfilled and spread thin, and your control over your actions was slipping away fast. Jungkook was grabbing your legs, clutching you as his own pleasure grew. You wanted to touch him, too, so you reached for him. However, he wouldn't come to you, so you tightened the hold of your legs.

"Come here," you panted.

"I want to see you." His hoarse voice, also tinged with pleasure, only made you more desperate.

"I want—" The thought was disjointed. What did you want?

More. You just wanted more.

"Please, Y/N."

You couldn't deny him anything, so watch you he did. Sweat covered your body, your face felt hot, and your breasts bounced in time with his thrusts. There was no point in feeling self-conscious around Jungkook. Instead, you felt wanted, desired, needed, and it only made your own lust grow tenfold. He was also a glorious sight, his dark hair in disarray and his muscles flexing with the exertion.

This was too much, not enough, and the tension inside you was both growing and begging for freedom. Your legs fell to the bed, open as wide as you could, allowing you to touch yourself without shame. His hand quickly replaced yours, circling your clit in time with his thrusts. Jungkook was going in deeper now that he could move more freely, hitting that sweet spot within you again, and again, and again, with enough power to make you scream for him.

"You said no screaming...?" he said breathlessly in a teasing tone.

Incoherent sounds were being drawn out of you, and it was hard to answer among them.

"Idiot."

And the cheeky grin he gave you in return was everything. It was all you could do not to come undone then and there, the sensations hitting you one after another too fast to process. You were rushing towards your breaking point, and you could focus on little else beyond it. Your eyes clamped shut. You were all rapture and burning skin and he sensed it, his pace quick, wild, constant, his fingers also working on you without reprieve. All you could do was whimper, grab the bed sheets tight in your fists, and beg for mercy.

"Jungkook..." You were repeating his name, over and over. It was the only thing you knew. It was the only thing you wanted to know. "Jungkook, I'm..."

You screamed. Your body flared up in an orgasm so long-awaited, earth-shattering and mind-numbing that it hurt. Electrifying waves of pleasure took over your body, and you were pulsing, trembling, screaming, out of breath and gratified beyond all reason. Your muscles contracted firmly around him, heightening your pleasure and making him throw his head back in ecstasy.

Jungkook slowed down as you came, but once your body relaxed, he started pounding into you and pinching your clit more fiercely than before. You didn't have time to recover. You were being wound tighter again all at once, as if the coil within you had never subsided. You couldn't do anything other than enjoy the sight and let him do your in, until he pulled out so swiftly that you were thrown over the edge a second time. 

He looked at you, his gaze telling tomes of his plans to pleasure you until you pleaded him to stop. You broke the eye contact to look at his cock that was throbbing against your thigh.

"You like what you see?" he smirked, clearly full of himself and the way you gasped at his cock as if it was your first time seeing it. Before you could respond, he kissed you full on the mouth, his tongue slipping through your lips as he did so. You could still taste yourself on his lips, mixed with that taste of him that you could never quite forget since that night he first kissed you.

His lips pressed against your neck the moment his thick cock managed to enter you once again. You gasped, your fingers wrapping around his arms tightly as he nestled himself deep within you, the head kissing the entrance to your womb. Sparks of pleasure ran through your body. Your eyes widened; it just felt like you were thrust into a brave new world, where everything you had ever known ceased to mean what they used to.

He stilled himself for a moment, as if he was allowing you to adjust to the sheer size of him before he went any further. Your eyes fluttered closed as you started to feel like everything you had ever done led up to him, in this moment. Your lips parted in a voiceless moan as you gripped his arms tighter, your fingers sinking into his flesh.

"Oh baby," he whispered in your ear, his voice almost sounding like a moan as he brought his hand to your face to cup your cheek. "Please look at me..."

You opened your eyes, and he gave you that sweet, warm smile as if you had never grown apart. You couldn't help but smile back, finally realising that this was what you were missing out on all this time: a serene, placid love that accepted you for who you are despite your faults, despite everything you've lacked and viceversa.

His hips started moving again, sharp thrusts drawing hushed moans from you as you gripped his shoulders this time, eyes intent to keep their gaze on his. Your hands roamed downwards: down his back, his waist, his hips until you grabbed his tight bum.

You gave him a mischievous smile, and pressed his forehead against yours, laughing a breathy chuckle.

"You're such a naughty girl, baby," he said, his tone coloured with a playful warning as his hands cradled the sides of your face. "We're flipping."

Before you knew it, your back was pressed against his chest. Your limbs were sprawled out under you to support yourself on all fours, however any effort you made to hold yourself up was practically made useless by Jungkook's arm, which wrapped around your waist and pulled you even closer to him as his other arm held you both up.

Jungkook started thrusting again, wilder this time as his cock nudged deeper and deeper against your womb, grinding against spots you never even knew existed. He placed wet kisses all over your shoulders and the crook of your neck, stopping there for a moment as he nuzzled you there.

He stuck his neck out to look at you, hoping to see what you looked like as his cock pushed repeatedly into your depths. With your eyes closed shut as the pleasure overwhelmed you, you couldn't see how captivated he was as he gazed upon your face contorted ecstasy. An errant thrust went deeper than it should have, and you bit down on your lip to stop a loud moan from escaping,

"I wanna hear your pretty little moans again, don't hold back" he whispered in your ear, his deep voice almost sounding like a growling din as he accentuated his last word with a deep thrust back to the depths of your cunt. You couldn't take it anymore; you screamed to the high heavens, and he let out a breathy chuckle, evidently happy with himself and the way he could make you scream.

His fingers found their way around your breast again, toying with your nipple as he suckled on your ear, and you knew that you were going to come undone soon. Your cunt clenched around his cock, and he groaned as his hips jerked harder, faster against you.

"I know you're c-close, baby. I- I'm close too," he moaned, his thrusts speeding up as he became desperate to push you over the edge. "C-cum for me, gorgeous" Jungkook whispered, gripping you even closer to him.

With his last words, you gave in, your cunt spasming wildly around his cock as you threw your head back, another orgasm tearing through you as you screamed his name. The sound of his name coming from your lips pushed him over the edge, his arms holding tightly onto you as his cum spurted deep inside you. He moaned your name, and you felt another surge of pleasure come over you until everything faded to black.

For that instant, time stood still, and nothing was wrong with the world.

You were both sweating, gasping for air, thoroughly satisfied and drunk with pure joy. You were only aware of Jungkook moving away, reaching toward his nightstand's drawer to pull out wet wipes. You couldn't stop thinking how beautiful he is, how lucky you are to be with him here, once again.

This was Jungkook. Your Jungkook. The one you'd been yearning for, and you were never going to let go of again.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, seeing that you were spacing out. You took him in, his hair messy and humid from the sweat, his skin almost shimmering. Being that stunning should be illegal.

"Nothing," you answered truthfully. "I'm just so happy."

"I'm really happy too, baby."

Jungkook offered you a sweet smile and gave you a little peck on the lips, then walked away to throw the wipes in the nearest trash can. This gave you a full view of his perfect body. After what you'd just done, you would've hoped your desires would've gone back to where you kept them locked up - but there they were, alive and present, and if you had to be honest with yourself, you were ready for this new normal.

This new normal was better than the old normal, where you had to endure your pain with your aching heart alone. Everything was easier when Jungkook was next to you. It hadn't escaped you notice that tonight he'd barely let you touch him, at least not as much as he touched you. He'd been focused on you, wanting to make you feel the best that he could... It was a good thing, then, that you knew for a fact there would be a next time.

Jungkook caught you staring again, but you didn't look away. He just stood there for a second, seeming puzzled at your expression, then asked,

"You don't... you don't regret this, do you, noona?"

"Not at all," you answered quickly. "Do you?"

Jungkook came back to you, lying down and wrapping his arms around you. That was all the response he was going to offer, and that was all you needed. You adjusted your position to be able to hold him too and kissed him. He responded in kind, his lips soft and tender. His body against yours was like an oasis in the desert. All you wanted was to live in the sheer bliss of this moment for as long as you could. You were together. That's all that mattered. This way, you could pull through anything.

But the moment was over eventually. Jungkook broke the kiss, touching his forehead against yours, and gave you his boldest grin.

"So... what do you say you give us another chance?"

Your smile was the brightest he ever saw. There wasn't even a need to respond. He already knew your answer was without a doubt 'Yes.'

Something warm pressed itself against your forehead, waking you up. You turned around to find that it was Jungkook, his arm wrapped you as he smiled at you. Everything that had happened rushed back to your half-asleep brain, and you remembered blacking out wrapped in his arms.

"Did you sleep?" you asked him, sitting up as you looked around. In the night, he had clothed your torso with his shirt while he had remained bare chested. Show off.

He shook his head, sitting up with you to fold you up into his arms.

"I couldn't sleep. I was afraid you'd get away from me again," he admitted, looking down to hide his wistful eyes from yours.

Moving quickly, you freed yourself from his arms and straddled his lap, taking him by surprise as you cupped his face and kissed him, the passion of last night resurrecting with a passion.

You broke the kiss and looked at him with compassion. "I'm not going anywhere, Kook."

His smile broke out into a full grin, and his strong arms pulled you down so that your head lay down on his chest again. He held on to you, eyes tearing up with joy as he finally had what he had always sought to have.

"Except..." you uttered, and the grin on on his face turned into parted lips, waiting with a sense of dread for your next words.

"Now that the sun is up, and the storm is over... would you like to go over to Chris' birthday party get-away with me?"

Oh. Right. Chris' birthday is this weekend. Jungkook had already forgotten that Chris had rented a place in Gangneung for you to celebrate with him.

"Yes, yes!" he exclaimed, scrunching his nose with that bunny smile you adore, his heart swelling with relief and joy. "We should go to your place though to pick up your stuff for the weekend."

"Well then, let's get going! Let's re-introduce us to the world, my handsome bunny," you replied, a gentle smile forming on your face as a beautiful future you had once thought of imagining with him began to unfold.

You both scrambled to your feet, as you clothed yourselves and got ready to leave.

He looked at you with so much pride, as if you were the one to be shown to world with rekindled hope. You locked your arm into his as you walked to his car, taking a moment to sink in everything that happened in the last few hours.

You were finally together, as JK had always wanted. He was right; you were meant to be in each other's lives. Giving it much thought, you realized that you still wanted the same things that you used to, except now you wanted his hand in yours each step of the way. Try as you might, you just couldn't escape him. But in his arms, you never felt more free, and you never felt more loved.

Prev | Next?

[foressfaction]

:Ticci Toby:{A Rewrite}

CHAPTER 4

WARNING:: This story contains EXTREMELY triggering topics such as Domestic/Child/Substance abuse, Death, harsh language, GORE and dissociation triggers. This story mentions mental illnesses and disorders such as Depression, PTSD, ADHD, and Tourette's Syndrome. !!TICS MAY BE TRIGGERING!!

Chapter four

Later that night, Toby sat alone in his room, surrounded by notebook pages full of small doodles. Stick men and symbols, one that stood out the most, a bunch of circles and X's. He found it fun to draw, therefore obviously showed it. There was a knock on his door, glancing up, Toby hummed out a response. "Come in."

The door opened and Lyra stood in the hallway, stepping in to catch first glance at all of the little pages who Toby started to clean up, shoving it all back into the original journal he tore them from.

"Dumb, right? These d-d-drawings, am I crazy? Lyra, am I a freak."

Lyra's eyes widened softly as she got down to sit in front of him. "no no no you're not, who told you that?"

Toby turned and pulled something from his bag, the note that was slammed onto his back when leaving school. He unwrinkled the paper and held it out of her. Lyra's shoulders dropped, it seemed she too had the same reaction to the note as he did when he first laid eyes on it. Her eyes darted back up to him with an angry expression. "You're seriously going to let these kids bully you like this?" Toby just looked down with a huff.

"I've never been put with these kinds of k-kids, i c-can't blame them if they hate me, hah..i'm not exactly that likable."

Lyra was quick to correct him, grabbing his right hand. "Don't say that, Toby, you're the strongest, most lovable person I know, you mean so much to me..i…I can't bear seeing this happen to you." tears were forming in her eyes, her hand squeezing his.

"Here…" She held his hand up and mimicked something with her other hand. "I'm going to show you how to make a fist, okay." She moved his hand into a fist shape, making sure his thumb was rested over his fingers. "Make sure your thumb is always on top, if not, you'll break it." Her words were gentle, and so were her movements. She was careful about his jerky arms, keeping them down if he was going to accidentally hit her or himself. Lyra continued on with explaining the idea of fighting. She did take 6 years of karate before the family broke apart. "Your hands are weapons, don't ever use them unless you have a good reason..if someone hits you first, go crazy, kick, hit, bite even."

Toby laughed a little, it was a weak one, but he did laugh. The idea of biting someone was somewhat funny. "No but I am serious." She admitted, earning his eyes to glance back up, locking onto her worried expression. "Promise me you will stick up for yourself..if this progresses. The last thing I want to see is you hurt."

Her hand still laid over his now fist of a hand. Toby then made a fist with his other hand, showing her. Lyra nodded. "Yep, just like that." She lowered it. "I want you to be…violent when it's the time, but i also don't want to be blamed if you accidentally knock someone unconscious." She slightly joked, but it was also serious.

Toby looked down with a small hum. "Please, Toby?"

He looked up. "Don't hurt anyone unless they hurt you." She warned.

Toby just stayed quiet, but eventually spoke. "Okay, I promise, but wh-what about dad? When he hurts mom—" He was cut off quickly by her tugging his arm. "That's a different story…We're talking kids the same age as you,"

"But when he hurts you—is that an e-e-excuse to hit him?" Lyra quickly just pulled him into a hug once more, squeezing tighter than she usually would. Was this an attempt to shut him up? "Let's not talk about that yet…If it was an excuse don't you think i would've done something about this by now?"

She shivered a little, not letting go. "School will be over in just a few months..it'll go fast, i really hope you won't need to use these." She gestured to his hands, by which she just saw a few new blemishes that covered them.

"Are you chewing on them again?" Lyra asked with a sad sigh.

"mhh yes but- not as much as last year." The last thing Toby wanted were those tight straps of gauze wrapped around his hands to the point he couldn't even use them.

"Okay, get some sleep bud..like actually, get some sleep..it's starting to look like you got into my eyeliner again." she gestured to his dark circles that were beginning to get more and more noticable.

Toby nodded and sat everything that was once strolled out to the side by his night stand. Lyra left the room and closed the door.

Toby looked down to his hands, seeing the gnawing marks and small concrete scrapes from falling so much. His knees and elbows were covered in healing and recent bruises, who knows how many little cuts and scratches he had in total. He never could remember getting most of them.

At night his room would get pretty creepy. The whole night was the definition of paranoia. Toby would make out black shadows, deep whispers and even started to feel pressure on his bed like something was crawling onto it, or sitting on the edge. Toby would make himself as small as possible when he slept, in an attempt to not be woken up by his mind playing tricks on him.

Weeks would go by painfully slowly. Toby started to feel like he lived at school and only visited home. On this day though…He wished he never did come home.

•••••

[daegall]

[22:23]

pairing: bad boy bf!hyuck x (implied fem!) reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, party!AU, bad boy!AU, established relationship!AU, college!AU

warnings: alcohol consumption, reader gets drunk and throws up, hyuck has family problems + mentions of family feuds

word count: 610 words

a/n: AHAHA lets pretend i didnt dip for a month and that this was totally planned writing and not made on a whim in the bathroom GREAT anw . i think i'll be pretty inactive for the next few months bc school has been A BITCH and my mental health completely deteriorated aha. ANW ENJOY

networks/taglist: @neoturtles @knet-bakery @kflixnet @nct-writers @k-radio + @soobin-chois @markhyuckselca @jaehunnyy @justalildumpling &lt;3

The alcohol in your system is too much.

bad boy!donghyuck can tell as well, just at a glance of how your eyes droop sleepily, and how you sway slightly with a grimace. It's thrown you over the edge in just a second, as your stomach churns and you throw a hand over your mouth.

Donghyuck instantly follows you as your feet stumble across the room, bumping into all the dancing people in the party, hopefully leading you to the nearest bathroom. He knows what's about to happen next, and is definitely ready. He makes sure he's ready by throwing his cigarette away, shifting closer towards you.

Alas, you have found your way into a bathroom, throwing the door open as you stumble onto your knees next to the toilet bowl. You don't even seem to notice how Donghyuck closes the door, before kneeling next to you to aid you through your experience.

The next thing you know, you're throwing up. Your fingers grip at the toilet bowl and your face scrunches up at the extremely u comfortable feeling, coughing a few times.

However, what comes next isn't so uncomfortable, if anything, it's so very comforting, as Donghyuck has one hand gliding up and down your back, his other sweeping your hair from your face.

His gentle coos follow as you once again start throwing up into the bowl, mumbling words of encouragement into your ear. "That's it, let it all out," He whispers, "I've got you, pretty girl,"

After about 4 and a half minutes of sitting by the bowl, trying to focus with your mind spinning like crazy, you seem to sober up a lot more, wiping at your mouth as you slump against the wall.

"Sorry you had to go through-" you pause, gesturing to yourself up and down, "-all this. I know how excited you were for this party."

The sour scrunch of your eyebrows loosen when Donghyuck runs his thumbs gently over them, shaking his head with a small smile. "Don't apologize, baby, I was excited because you were coming along with me,"

And suddenly, you have the immense urge to cry. It seems too late for you to stop that, as tears start to form at the corner of your eyes, and you seem to gravitate towards your lover with a pout.

Donghyuck instantly catches you in his arms, cradling your head into his shoulder. "Hey, hey, don't cry! You're gonna get dehydrated!" You nod instead of answering with words, burying yourself deeper into his embrace as he coaxes you into relaxing and breathing steadily. You unconsciously sync your breathing with the strokes of his hand on your back, kissing your skin in between such loving phrases.

"You're really good at this," You comment, after noticing how your headache had almost instantly disappeared.

Donghyuck smiles at your words, his hold tightening around you gently. "I learned from my father while my mom was pregnant with my sister, and then I had to do it when my mom as a drunk,"

You grimace at the thought of resurfacing his broken memories of his troubled family, immediately retracting from his hold. "Shit, I'm sorry for-" "I just said don't apologize!" Donghyuck hollers out before you could finish. "I swear baby, all I care about right now is you, okay?"

He can finally smile once you nod, taking your face into his hold. Donghyuck's fingers are warm as they glide across your cheeks, leaving trails of warmth full of comfort and love, as his lips follow right after.

"Now, let's say our goodbyes to our friends, before going home to sleep early. How does that sound, pretty?"