#it's set in rome paris and new york

[checkeredflagggs]

Picture Perfect

pairing: logan sargeant x fem!photographer!reader

summary: logan’s girl travels with him as his personal photographer

a/n: I’m still working on the next Lando piece but I was out watching the northern lights last night and this one pretty much wrote itself

a/n: also and as usual I’m throwing timelines and official schedules and actual facts of races in the garbage. Living my best delulu life where Logan got the actual chance he deserved

305girl

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305girl: my boy, my boy, my boy how I love you so…congrats on your first f1 race baby!! Despite everything you did so well today 🩵🩵🩵

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user1: that’s our American racer!!

↳user2: you did good today Logan!

oscarpiastri: first race down 👊🏻🧡 many more to go!

↳logansargeant: congrats osc! 🩵 we did it!

↳305girl: my racer boys!! You’re officially formula racers 💚💚

↳oscarpiastri: good to have you here for this — maybe you’ll get some photos of me next time

↳logansargeant: nope! Contractually only able to take my photos

↳oscarpiastri: seriously?

↳305girl: yup

↳user3: this is the best thing ever

user4: 🙋🏾‍♀️ new American fan - who is 305girl? Help?

↳user5: haha 🤣 she’s Logan’s girlfriend! They’ve been together for years - childhood friends I think!

↳305girl: correcto! Best friends since I threw down against some bullies for him

↳logansargeant: my knight in a sparkly pink skirt and mud stained tights

↳305girl: you know it!

↳user4: oh my god that’s adorable

alex_albon: congratulations on your first race Logan!

↳logansargeant: thanks Alex! Can’t wait for more

↳alex_albon: absolutely! We’ll come back stronger next time

305girl

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305girl: my boy looks so good in red I had to continue the theme featuring Paris and my darkroom

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user5: oh my god 😍🥵❤️ red is definitely his color

user6: Paris looks good on Logan!

↳305girl: you know it!

oscarpiastri: taking notes…📝

↳logansargeant: of what? My best colors?

↳lilyzneimer: 🤨 oh?

↳oscarpiastri: umm…🏃🏻‍♂️💨

↳305girl: let’s leave the boys to it, shall we?

↳lilyzneimer: let’s

↳logansargeant: hey!!

↳oscarpiastri: what??

user7: ok but where did you get the darkroom from?

↳305girl: it’s in our apartment in England! It was just a short trip to Paris during the break

↳user7: that makes so much more sense then what I was thinking

↳user8: …did you think that she just set up a dark room in a Paris hotel room?

↳user7: leave me alone!!

logansargeant

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logansargeant: when the artist becomes the subject…thank you Miami! You were good to me this weekend! And a big thank you to my girl — I love you

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user9: somehow this post called me single in about 100 different ways

↳user10: same! 😭

↳user11: proof that if he wanted to, he would

305girl: my handsome man…I love you too! But when did you take these?

↳logansargeant: I’m a man of many talents!

↳305girl: evidently! I guess I’ll have to let you be behind the camera more often

↳logansargeant: only if you’re the subject 🩵

↳305girl: 🥹💚🥰

user12: congrats Logan! That’s our American points scorer!

↳user13: red white and blue baby!!

↳user14: woohoo!

alex_albon: show them how it’s done Logan! Congrats!

↳logansargeant: congrats to you too! Thank you

↳user15: Our Williams boys!

305girl

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305girl: when in Rome (New York)…pizza is a must! And thank you Logan for your patience (and eventually your sweatshirt) while I got that lovely shot of the moon

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user16: I don’t know who to be more jealous of…305girl for being his girlfriend or Logan for having her as a girlfriend…

↳user17: the bi answer is both

↳user18: the ace answer is him cause that pizza looks supremely good right now

↳user16: 🤣🤣

logansargeant: oh I know that all of “my” sweatshirts are just on loan till they smell like me

↳305girl: you know it!

↳lilyzneimer: that’s a good answer!

↳oscarpiastri: …I’ll pack some of mine up for you

↳lilyzneimer: thank you!

user19: you guys are so cute together!

↳user20: they are!!

↳305girl: thank you! We’ve been together for nearly 7 years now

↳user20: oh my god! So long?

↳305girl: well…I had such a crush on him I talked my parents into letting me move to England with him so…

↳logansargeant: awwww…you had a crush on me?

↳305girl: obviously babe

↳logansargeant: enough to move to England?

↳305girl: I’ll go anywhere you go

↳logansargeant: 🥹🥹🥹

alex_albon: I don’t think pizza is an approved part of our diet plan…

↳logansargeant: shhh…don’t tell anyone

↳305girl: don’t worry alex_albon. I got him to work it off

↳alex_albon: really? In my comment thread?

↳305girl: don’t even 😂🙄

↳logansargeant: she made me carry ALL of her camera equipment

↳305girl: boyfriend privileges!

305girl

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305girl: oh to be back on British soil…Silverstone? Done ✅ A round of golf with 2 pros and their boyfriends? Done and done ✅

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lilymhe: it was so good to catch up with you!

↳305girl: it was! I’ve missed you in the paddock

↳lilymhe: 😓😓 don’t worry! This just in, I’m gonna abandon everything just to travel with you

↳alex_albon: ummm?

↳logansargeant: ummm?

↳lilymhe: i said what i said!

↳305girl: best day of my life!!

landonorris: you muppets!! Where was my invite??

↳alex_albon: must have got lost in the mail

↳305girl: didn’t even send it

↳landonorris: 😨

↳305girl: you stole Oscar from us! So we’re taking Alex from you

↳landonorris: no! You can’t do that!

↳oscarpiastri: so we’re not friends and not hanging out later?

↳landonorris: no! We absolutely are!

↳alex_albon: does our friendship mean nothing to you then?

↳landonorris: i give up

user21: girl are you just not gonna mention the absolute dressing down that you gave James?

↳305girl: I’ve been Logan’s biggest defender since we were 7. That’s not gonna change now

↳user22: girl he was running for his life

↳305girl: 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ not my problem

user23: ok but who won

↳lilymhe: me

↳alex_albon: me

↳305girl: me

↳logansargeant: definitely NOT me (or Alex let’s be real)

↳alex_albon: mate…

↳logansargeant: I’m not gonna lie on the internet

305girl

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305girl: are the stars in my eyes 🤩🤩 cause of Logan or that night sky? The world may never know…(it’s Logan! He won me a giant Pikachu at the arcade 🥰🥰🥰)

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user24: oh to have a boyfriend that would fly you around the world and win you giant Pikachus…

↳user25: water is wet. Fork found in kitchen. Me sleeping on the highway tonight!

logansargeant: 😊😊😊 anything for my girl

↳305girl: awwwww thank you baby

oscarpiastri: the real question is how long it took him though

↳305girl: not long at all! he is shockingly good at skeeball

↳logansargeant: shockingly?

↳305girl: babe I’ve taken you bowling before

↳logansargeant: not another word!

↳305girl: 🤭🤭🤭

alex_albon: logansargeant you’ve never won me a giant Pikachu

↳lilymhe: funny I was gonna say the same towards you!

↳alex_albon: 😑😑

↳logansargeant: sorry! Only the loml gets that privilege

↳305girl: 🥺🥰

user26: ok but are we gonna talk about how good this girl is at photography?? Like I came for Logan but damn im staying for her

↳user27: finally!! Like I love her Logan posts but literally everything else on her page is 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

↳305girl: thank you!!

↳user27: I’m gonna need a 30 page PowerPoint and an entire YouTube series on how you do it

↳305girl: on it! 🫡🫡

305girl

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305girl: Logan…this year has been insane in the best way possible. It has been a dream come true to watch you achieve your dream and to have the chance to be by your side for all of it? I have no words on how special it was for me. Congrats baby! This year was only the start of a long and successful career for you 😘💋💚💚

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logansargeant: babe…

logansargeant: I can’t find the words on what it means to me that you’ve been by my side this year. I don’t think I would have done as good as I did if I didn’t have your unwavering support and love. It’s been a long and sometimes difficult year but it was made infinitely easier knowing that yours would be the first and last face I see everyday. I know it was selfish of me to drag you through this rough schedule across the globe but I am so extremely grateful that you said yes when I asked. I love you

↳305girl: oh baby💚💚💚

↳305girl: believe me when I say there is NOWHERE I’d rather be than right next to you.

↳305girl: and let me tell you something — there’s only one other question you could ask me that would have gotten a quicker yes than when I agreed to follow you around the world

oscarpiastri: Congratulations! We did it Logan! One down and many to go!

↳logansargeant: that we did! Couldn’t ask for a better guy to do it with either

alex_albon: it’s been a fun year! Now let’s go rest and recharge cause next year is gonna be ours!

↳305girl: yes it is!!

↳logansargeant: couldn’t have said it better myself!

[archatlas]

How Andrés Reisinger Brought his Digital ‘Take Over’ Series to the Physical Realm

Andrés Reisinger‘s now-iconic Take Over series quietly blossomed on a sleepless night ‘as a simple exercise of creation‘. Curious about the booming potential of Artificial Intelligence, the Argentinian artist began experimenting with his dream-like digital imagery, but this time at the scale of cities. In less than a year, what started as a personal artistic project quickly grew into show-stopping collaborations for physical iterations in cities like Jeddah and Miami and with brands like Hourglass Cosmetics in New York City and Golden Goose HAUS in Venice.

The series, which transcends geographical boundaries into the virtual plane, takes place in major international capitals such as London, Rome, Paris, Tokyo, and New York City, engulfing their historical architecture in surreal pink and white drapes, each one more playful and pleasing than the next.

Speaking of context, the distinct designs for each iteration — digital or physical — quietly reflect the cultural landscape in which they blossom. ‘Just as in the digital version, the physical ones speak of their hosting cities too,’ he says. In his digital series, furry Take Overs are found in colder cities like Amsterdam; inflatable patterns are set amid the sleek streets of Munich; voluptuous and sweeping drapes are cast upon the desertic planes of Dubai; and so on. Even for his real-life piece in Jeddah, the artist seems to recall traditional clothing or textiles with frilly edges bordering each layer of fabric. ‘Rather than a literal inspiration, I would say they are nods and interpretations of their cultural spirit that are reflected in small, almost imperceptible details of the installation,’ elaborates Reisinger.

[gyustarzzi]

ateez taking you on vacation

★ hongjoong

- Paris, France - takes you on an expensive date - will beg you to go on a night walk to see the beautiful lights, probably the most beautiful city you've ever seen - way too many photos for you to count - probably took a photo of you without you knowing and has it as his lock screen

" Isn't it beautiful tonight? "

☆ seonghwa

- Bora Bora, French Polynesia - the trip was originally for just the group but when he found out he could bring you along of course he couldn't say no - gets a two-bedroom premier beachfront villa estate (WHICH IS HUGE) - you guys go scuba diving and reef discovery with the other members - will dare you to do parasailing, which you both end up doing and let's just say it didn't end well. you get hit in the face by a bird

" I dare you to do the parasailing, if you do it then I'll do it "

★ yunho

- Rome, Italy - you guys go to a lot of historic tours through Rome (Colosseum, Roman Forum) and art-filled institutions (Vatican Museums, Galleria Borghese) - yunho takes way too many photos of you and him during your trip - you guys almost get lost in one of Roman's catacombs, but don't worry you guys get out soon...somehow - probably will go back next time you go on vacation

" Oh shit..I think we're lost Y/N '

☆ yeosang

- London, England - he probably would go back bc he loved the city so much - takes you everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE (it's his only time to spend time with you all day) - can't stop fangirling over every photo you take of yourself - probably proposed to you at the top of The London Eye, if not then he would just kiss you

" Since you've been around I smile a lot more than I used to, and that's why I love you "

★ san

- Tokyo, Japan - goes to a lot of anime stores and buys way to much stuff - you guys not only go to Tokyo Disneyland but Tokyo Sea Lif Park!! - get to play with cats at Hogoneko Rafu Space and you guys end up adopting a ragdoll named mocha - not only do you get to spend time with San for a whole week, you also get to go home with a sweet kitty!

" She's perfect for us, let's adopt her! "

☆ mingi

- New Zealand - there are so many things to do in New Zealand so of course he would pick to go there - you guys would go to the glow worms cave, which you find so pretty but mingi is afraid they will fall on him (they won't) - you also get to take a tour around the Hobbiton movie set, mingi's treat - you do a lot of more fun stuff during the week you have together (Shotover River Extreme Jet Boat Ride in Queenstown, Waitomo Caves & Te Puia in Aucklund)

★ wooyoung

- New York City, United States - the members were on tour in america and one of their stops was new york city - you ended up flyng down there and surprising wooyoung at his hotel - you guys do a lot of sightseeing: the statue of liberty, summit one Vanderbilt, and you went on a cruise - at night you and the members would go out and have fun...maybe get drunk

" This view is amazing, it feels like I'm about to fall "

☆ jongho

- Sydney, Australia - you've always wanted to go to australia, so jongho decided to surprise you on your birthday - you spend a whole week there going shopping, sightseeing, playing in the water with jongho and having the best birthday ever (Darling Harbour, Queen Victoria Building, Sydney Opera House, etc.) - at the end of the week (your birthday) all the members, and your friends surprise you a birthday cake - you end up with the cake smashed into you face. wooyoung definitely didn't do it..

" You got a little something on your face "

[placeholdercornerworks]

In a fit of inspiration at @searivermountain 's , @idanit 's and @a-case-of-the-ace 's AU posts about Jeeves and Wooster living in their respective countries, here are my two (albeit rough and unpolished two cents) about Jeeves and Wooster if they were living in the Kindgom of Italy.

I'm rewinding the actual OG setting by a decade or so as such, we're talking of the turn of the century here, 1898-1912.

First, a few setting points:

• I imagined them living in Turin, initially this was because it tied well with other plot points (Such as chuffy owning his seaside vacation houses(?) on the coast of Liguria and still being able to put Rocky "abroad" in France). Historically you could explain it by saying his parents moved there shortly after the proclamation of the Kingdom of Italy in 1861 because they saw it as a reason of prestige, perhaps some aunts followed suit, so on so forth.

• To elaborate on Rocky, the equivalent of them going to America in S3 of the show would be Bertie residing in Monaco and Jeeves doesn't get sent to scout New York for Rocky's aunt, but rather Montecarlo.

• To move back to Turin, while gents clubs similar to the drones did exist in Italy at the time, it would have been much likely for them to meet at a cafe since many known groups in Italy organized in such way (e.g Varied well known turn-of-century writers often ruinited at the Giubbe Rosse in Rome and the "Macchiaioli" artists often reunited at the Caffè Michelangelo in Florence)

• The Ganymede however would have operated in a way closer to that of gents club.

• Bertie, such as his standing commands, is gonna get promptly shipped to study law at the University of Turin cause I swear it's lowkey a recurrent fact with many of the wealthier authors I studied, it was "the thing" much.

Now, before I get onto miscellaneous trivia and ramblings and such, my two thoughts on their alternative names.

• The direct italianization of Reginald is Rinaldo, which I'd be keen on keeping (alternatively Raimondo has practically the same etymology and derivation), for surname, upon learning that Jeeves derives from Genevieve, which was the patron of Paris, I've decided to give him the surname Parisi, for the sake of the assonance.

• For Bertie on the other hand, the direct italianization of Betram is fucking Beltramo and I am in fact not keeping that so to remain on something similar sounding, he's Bernando now cause calling his Alberto keep the Bertie bit feels weird. As for surname, I'm similarly going of assonance, but with his original surname and as such I'm calling him Vistarini.

And now, miscellaneous trivia, lo and behold!

• Newts, or more specifically, a specie of newts known as the Italian Crested Newt, is more of a thing in central to southern Italy, so Gussy hereby has a thing for eels here in Italy, which were more common in bodies of water in the North.

• Bertie being interested in aviation!!! It was very much the next new thing so he'd often muse to Jeeves about his curiousity towards the inner workings of this jolly contraptions, tried to operate a plane once, crashes it in 50m, but if you were to ask Jeeves he'll succesfully find the right guy with the right plane to give him a ride to give Bertie aerial photos of the city he's much excited about.

• Jeeves seemingly knows every literature known to man and he's ready to counter-prove or counter-quote a statement with an appropriate literary quote. This is more instinctive musing but I feel like Bertie would often make paragons to the plays of Alfieri and Goldoni, or alternatively, Latin stuff and he'd surely have studied it majorly in uni.

• Additionally I think it would be highly funny to have Jeeves and Bertie discuss Parini, il giorno specifically.

• God blast d'Annunzio also cause Tuppy would 100% be keen on comparing is love-unfilled existence to the banes of a d'Annunzio protag, he thinks himself the next embodiment of Andrea Sperelli and Bertie is just "Heh, silly Tuppy"

• This applies generally but lots of theatre going involved, they have stayed over in Milan before to catch premieres at The Scala and one of this baboons surely said they were gonna find themselves a girl like Eleonora Duse

• The cast of the drones routinely gets dragged in honor fencing duels over this or that offence or this or that woman and Bertie is frequently dragged in under the excuse "Oh, come on, the other party has never seen me before, you can go in my stead!", he miserably fucking fails and on the other hand this is another venture in which jeeves excels

[no1tolerateitfan]

i sit and watch you reading with your head low...

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welcome to my girlblog!

colette , fifteen (taylor's version) , january capricorn , she/her , american-french-spanish , bilingual , tennis , soccer , estj , pinterest girlie , uptown girl , middle child , cabin 10 , ravenclaw , thought daughter , matt girl , hector forts wife actually

im a girl who loves...

pasta , shoes , fancy dresses , swans , jane austen , fashion , affirmations , grwms , hector fort , fruit salads , history , rome , mason thames , christmas , picnics , brandy melville , spain , navy blue , pink , snow , music , reading , winter , ivy leagues , fc barcelona , evermore , romcoms , coffee , emma chamberlain , models , concerts , any march , period films , the idea of motherhood , adam brody , traveling , brunettes , vogue magazine , nyt games , staying in , autumn , birthday parties , rhode , my family , the sturniolo triplets , france , doing my hair , learning new words , making new friends , nara smith , daydreaming , piercings , my boyfriend , being on dnd , shopping , matcha , setting goals , vanilla everything , summer roberts , real estate , concerts , stuffed animals , girlbloggers , healthy lifestyle , makeup , flowers , animals , halloween , starbucks , early mornings , etc<3

fangirl favorites

spotify deep dive;

gracie abrams , taylor swift , olivia rodrigo , sabrina carpenter , chappell roan , madison beer , lana del rey , clairo , billie eilish , lizzy mcalpine , noah kahan , maisie peters , laufey , role model , phoebe bridgers , harry styles , reneé rapp , mitski , tate mcrae , cas , paramore , boygenius , beabadoobee , niall horan , conan gray , billy joel , the neighbourhood , fleetwood mac , ethel cain , marley brown , arctic monkeys , abba , the cranberries , alessi rose , mazzy star , zach bryan , chris stapleton , ariana grande , avril lavigne , mckenna grace<3

film files;

little women , la la land , the princess diaries , lady bird , 10 things i hate about you , 13 going on 30 , pretty woman , 27 dresses , the devil wears prada , scream , when harry met sally , call me by your name , 500 days of summer , how to lose a guy in 10 days , notting hill , runaway bride , clueless , priscilla , a rainy day in new york , midnight in paris , corpse bride , the perks of being a wallflower , black swan , dead poets society , harry potter , narnia , enola holmes , beautiful boy , pride and prejudice , the notebook , the proposal , mamma mia , dirty dancing , grease , the parent trap , white chicks , ella enchanted , sixteen candles , she's the man , miss congeniality , my girl , the virgin suicides , the edge of seventeen , the amazing spiderman , mean girls , legally blonde , thirteen , breakfast at tiffany's , girl, interrupted , twilight , uptown girls , star wars , heathers , old disney<3

tv show archive;

grey's anatomy , gossip girl , gilmore girls , the oc , one tree hill , one day , friends , derry girls , baby , pretty little liars , anne with an e , how i met your mother , the office , criminal minds , supernatural , tsitp , bones , the flash , outer banks , suits , stranger things , you , the crown , emily in paris , satc , agggtm , jane the virgin , the vampire diaries , scream queens , supergirl , killing eve , glee , teen wolf , b99 , boy meets world , dawsons creek<3

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please please please reach out to me if we have the same interests , need to chat , or wanna be moots, i love meeting new ppl and being able to interact with you guys. my sideblog is @vani11alattes , if you wanna check it out! xoxo💗

!! dni if you are nsfw , 18+ , a mature themed blogs , racist , homophobic , misogynistic , and rude. this is a safe space for myself and others, do NOT ruin it by being oppressive !!

^if you are over the age of 18 and a girlblogger you are exempt from this

i am catholic , pro-palestine , and do not support russia. i don't typically talk about these topics, but if you don't agree with my views and beliefs , simply do not interact with me. thank you!

[fancyfeathers]

And Then There Were None (Yandere William James Moriarty /w Author Darling Masterlist)

Thinking about William with an author darling again but after she escapes and basically challenges him to find her, quoting him when he was talking to Sherlock saying…

“Catch me if you can, Professor Moriarty.”

I feel like she has 1920 vibes even if it is set in the Victorian era, but she is based on Agatha Christie and she lived in that era. To me she develops his femme fatale personality in her boost of confidence after outsmarting the Lord of Crime, regaining her former self and then some. I’m just imagining her sitting in her hotel room in one of those Hollywood Star robes with the feathers and silk, and she is eating breakfast or having a smoke while reading a newspaper and the top story is still about the disappearance of a famous author, she has not only successfully hidden and fooled from the Lord of Crime but all England…

She has really out done herself this time.

I genuinely think after a bit of fun messing around in London, running circles around William with the help of few her author friends who are just having a blast out of this, she would put herself back to work, looking for inspiration for her next book. She probably travels off to other countries looking for inspiration and soon the books come funneling out but with no clue where the author is…

A tale about a serial killer during the Venice Carnival

A story about a murder in Moscow during the freezing Russian winter, isolating the protagonists from the outside world.

A missing person case in Mexico City during Día de los Muertos.

A book about murderous woman in the Cook County Jail using their looks to get away with murder.

A mad man in a small town north of London loosing his mind due to exposure to mercury.

A murder of a new money family during a party in New York City.

The mixture of all of these books and the author’s disappearance from the public eyes makes her all the more popular. No one has seen her since she first went mission, not even her entail disappearance not even her publisher who has only been getting telegrams, letters, and packages from her, from whatever city she is in then, Vienna, Rome, St. Petersburg, Paris, Cario, Chicago, Dublin, and so on.

Meanwhile William is reading all of her novels in his little free time, and trying to find her becomes a side dream, after all he still has his goals as the Lord of Crime and if he follows every step she takes he will never get anything done.

He hears the talk on the street about her latest novel and his students talk about how they have to read a book of hers for their literature class and ask Professor William if he is really married to this genius author who is both infamous and famous, and if he actually knows where she is. William just smiles and looks at his students…

“I think you should focus on your assignment rather than press me about the state of my wife and I, yes?”

Can he even call her his wife? He hasn’t seen her since that night at the opera.

She told him to catch her and he didn’t…

He was so confident that he could because he has before…

Maybe that is it, do what he did before.

She is sitting at a cafe in Perros-Guirec, France, enjoying a cup of tea with a friend of hers, another mystery author who she is visiting, when a newspaper is thrown on their table with the headline of a murder based on her books…

Just like those murders all those years ago that brought her to William, scaring her into giving up writing.

He is finally making his move and she gave him the material to do it.

She looks up at the stranger who handed gave her the paper, both confused and frightened, he is just an ordinary looking man, but he smiles at her as he hands her a business card.

“My boss asked for this edition to be personally delivered to you. He would like to meet with you if you have the time, that is.”

“W-wha?”

She watches as the man walks off, leaving her and her friend alone. How did anyone find her? Not even William has even found her yet. She looks over the business card, turning it over to look at the back and she nearly screams in horror at what was written on it, but manages to keep it in as she is in public. She drops the card and her friend picks it up and reads it over and his eyes widen as well and he looks up at her as she just sits there in shock for a long moment before…

“I need to go back to London…”

A few days later, William is sitting in the drawing room of the Moriarty Estate, reading the paper himself, when Louis walks in with a letter, giving it to William saying this came for him. He reads it and it simply tells him to meet the sender at the last place they saw each other, it is not signed but it doesn’t have to be…

He recognizes the hand writing, it’s his darling’s.

He goes off to the opera house and to the opera box he met her at last time and she is there, sitting there alone, clutching that business card in hand.

“Dearest-“

“William, you are a crime consultant… I would like to hire your services.”

Her voice sounds terrified, a first for her in a long time. She hands him the business card to read and he sees the back first and he is immediately filled with rage…

It would be a shame if those murders were placed on you, it would certainly gather attention.

He looks up at her and she just looks terrified, angry, sad, and so much that it’s almost overwhelming for her mind to handle.

“You are being blackmailed, yes?”

“Correct, he wants to hire my writing services, but of course they are not for sale so hire is a bit of a lie, demanding my cooperation would be a better word...”

He flips the card over to see the other side with the name as she continues…

“…Charles Augustus Milverton, practically controls the news media, if he has me in his hand he would have control over all forms of media publishing… I know what this will cost me, and honestly you have nothing to loose and have everything to gain with having me again and I promise not to disappear again if you deal with him.”

“Presumably you want him dead?”

“Preferably.”

“Do any of your author friends know about this?”

“Yes, they all know about the blackmail, some of them have been blackmailed themselves by him but not to this extent… I… I am doing this for them, I do not want them to be silenced with their writing or their words… but I will not come back to you until this is done.”

“Then consider it done, my dear.”

He bends down to kiss her cheek before leaving the box and she sits there in silence again for a few minutes before the door to the box opens again and another man comes to sit down next to her.

“You are a truly remarkable actress, you performed your role perfectly, I do hope our partnership can continue on to deal with this Lord of Crime.”

A smile comes across her face as she looks up at the man next to her.

“Of course, after all the enemy of my enemy is my friend, Mr. Milverton.”

She is no fool, she knows William did not buy her act and was merely playing along, he knows she has no intention of going back to him, but where is the fun in ending the game early?

And why would she call him on his bluff and end the chase she has been winning?

Sometimes the cat lets the mouse run to enjoy the chase that much more.

[princess-of-the-corner]

One critic I have for Miraculous: it's set in Paris, but for all they use it most of the time it could be set in Rome, New York, Budapest, London, Tokyo, or any other city on two sides of a big river.

I don't ask a great level of details from fanwriters who have other things to do, but making Miraculous is literally these guys's job and all they give us of Paris is the Eiffel Tower (Tokyo has two similar constructions), the Louvre (pretty sure all the cities I have mentioned have equally impressive art museums, in addition to Rome being an open air archaeological museum in continuous expansion), and the occasional fashion show (London got their fashion week too). We don't get all the other museums. We don't see Notre Dame de Paris. The Catacombs are ignored, and so the Pantheon. Paris is the birth place of Savate and Parkour, two skillsets our heroes could use, but the latter is barely mentioned once while we have Anansi who, to martial arts buffs, is clearly a Muay Thai practitioner.

Sorry for the rant, but I get to see Paris more in salt fics...

I mean I don't care that much because like.

Miraculous isn't set in Paris because they wanted to show off French buildings or culture to the outside world.

Miraculous is set in Paris because it's made in France by French people who are writing their own culture into it casually.

[saveugoodmadam]

My hcs for all the newsies' careers when they grow up

Jack works as a steady cartoonist for Pulitzer and an artist for Medda's theatre, as well as a few other projects here and there. He's quite well-off and famous enough so he uses his money and status to give quite a lot of support and awareness to homeless and employed kids, eventually setting up a charity called the Santa Fe Organisation which helps to fund the dreams and futures of poor New York kids. When he retires he and Davey both go and live in Santa Fe.

Katherine lives in a small house with Davey and Jack, and continues to climb the journalistic ladder. She does a lot of publicity-raising for current issues but is also the first to report anything her old friends are currently doing. Eventually she becomes extremely prominent and famous in journalistic circles. She doesn't follow Jack and Davey to Santa Fe, instead choosing to stay in New York to pursue journalism until she can no longer do so.

Davey is a high-brow lawyer with very clear morals- he is almost always found arguing for wrongly accused innocents and against corrupt people. He helps Jack to set up the Santa Fe Organisation and retires with him in that same place, but never really gives up his lawyering even out there.

Les grows up to be a journalist and works closely often with Katherine to write articles. She works as a massive industry contact to launch him into the business in the first place and it grows from there. He often takes trips to visit Jack and his brother out west and retires to the same town.

Crutchie becomes a dancer for Medda's theatre and rises to huge prominence in Europe and the USA for pioneering wheelchair dance. He meets lots of prominent figures but is keen to shine a light on the rotten underbelly of their dealings if he sees fit to. He never loses his wit, charm and love of chaos, but this is what makes him a massive hit. He retires to Ireland, citing the reason as being it was his mother's country.

Race takes work at the docks helping to load ships for their voyages but has to retire early due to a back injury. He becomes the primary carer of the household and looks after his and Spot's twins, Brooklyn and Philip Conlon-Higgins. He often takes trips to see his friends around the city as he misses them a lot.

Spot works as Katherine's secretary, at first hiring a nanny for her and Race's daughter but eventually being able to let her go when Race becomes primary carer. She has most of high society wrapped around her little finger at every function she goes to and she absolutely revels in this information especially when getting Katherine new stories. She and Katherine retire on the same day, having made a pact to do so, and she and Race move to Rome for their retirement.

Specs and Romeo both run Specs' parents' bakery together after his parents retire, and both adopt a daughter, a newsie called Pins.

Henry finally achieves his dream of owning his own deli with help from his friends and runs it with JoJo and Mike. It sits just across the street from Specs and Romeo's bakery and the two work in a story of symbiotic way to sell both meat and bread to the people of New York.

Albert works in Jacobi's for a while but eventually goes out to sea as a sailor with Finch.

Buttons and Splint both get married and make their living as dressmakers.

Mack moves back to Scotland with Stray and Elmer and they work as shepherds.

Pips becomes the leader of the Brooklyn newsies, then leaves to work for a department store in Paris.

Tommy Boy joins up for the first world war and is sadly killed in action. Ike also joins up and survives, he ends up working in the deli with Henry, JoJo and his brother.

Mush works at the bakery for a while, then he and Ritz both join a touring circus group and end up being co-opted into a few of Crutchie's performances over the years.

Splasher becomes the leader of the Manhattan newsies (and is succeeded by Pins), then replaces Mush at the bakery.

[justforbooks]

Richard Serra, who has died aged 85, was a remarkable cultural figure – a sculptor who belonged to the generation of American minimalists, was associated with process art and made experimental films, yet evoked something of an earlier, more heroic age. The critic Robert Hughes described him as “the last abstract expressionist”.

Although this statement stretches the point, Serra’s interest in the processes of sculpture led him to some extravagant gestural acts that belie the severity of his grand public commissions. Weight and Measure, made in the early 1990s for what is now Tate Britain, exemplified his austere side, with its massive steel forms designed to counter the building’s overbearing classicism. However, some of his other works, such as the twisting, “torqued” structures installed at the Guggenheim in Bilbao in 2005, are positively baroque.

Curled around an existing sculpture, Snake, that was commissioned for the museum’s opening in 1997, these steel works, dominated by ellipses and spirals, articulate spaces in which the gallery visitor can wander. They are monumental enough to take on Frank Gehry’s grandiose architecture, but, with their patinated surfaces and curved forms, also have an intimate, sensual quality. Above all, Serra’s sculptures create a remarkable interaction with the public and a strong experience of gradual discovery – hence the installation’s title, The Matter of Time.

His works have proved popular with curators, but are not confined to museums. They have appeared in settings as diverse as the Tuileries garden in Paris, the Federal Plaza in New York, and the Qatari desert, attracting responses from intense admiration to a public inquiry. One of his sculptures, Fulcrum, was put up in 1987 at Broadgate outside Liverpool Street station in London. It manages to combine monumentality with fragility, made of weathered steel plates that appear to support each other precariously.

He was born in San Francisco into a family that provided a foundation for his later career as a sculptor in metal. His father, Tony, who was from Majorca, was a pipe-fitter in a naval shipyard. His mother, Gladys (nee Fineberg), who was the daughter of Jewish immigrants from Odessa, used to introduce her son as “Richard, the artist” and was, later, touchingly enthusiastic when he began to make his way in New York. Serra himself laboured in steel mills during his time as a student and subsequently, in 1979, made a compelling film, Steelmill/Stahlwerk, about German workers in the industry.

Serra began his studies in 1957 at the University of California in Berkeley, graduating from the institution’s Santa Barbara campus with a degree in English literature. He followed this in 1961 with a three-year course in painting at Yale University, New Haven – a period in which he also worked as a teaching assistant and as a proof-reader for Joseph Albers’s book Interaction of Color (1963). At Yale he encountered such luminaries as Philip Guston, Robert Rauschenberg, Ad Reinhardt and Frank Stella, before winning a fellowship that took him to Europe in 1964.

In Paris, Serra was profoundly impressed by the sculpture of Constantin Brâncuși, but in Florence the following year he continued to paint, producing coloured grids in timed conditions controlled by a stopwatch. It was only with his first exhibition, at the Galleria La Salita in Rome in 1966, that he made a definitive move away from painting, filling cages with live and stuffed animals.

After moving to New York in the same year, Serra initially survived by setting himself up as a furniture remover, together with his friends, the composers Philip Glass and Steve Reich. Serra’s artistic development at this time was rapid, moving from experiments with rubber, fibreglass and neon tubing to the metal sculpture for which he became renowned. He soon began his long-term association with the Leo Castelli Gallery in New York, in whose Warehouse annex he was photographed in 1969 throwing molten lead at the wall with a ladle.

In the same year Serra refined this procedure by splashing the metal against a small steel plate stuck into the corner of Jasper Johns’s studio. The “castings” produced when the lead cooled down were rough, expressive forms, but this project also inspired Serra to create more impersonal pieces, in which metal sheets were wedged into the angles of rooms, leaned against each other or pinned to the wall by lead pipes. His emphasis on objective phenomena – mass, gravity and other physical forces – can also be seen in his remarkable experimental films.

In Hand Catching Lead (1968), the hand is in fact the artist’s but it is shown disembodied, trying to grasp rather than cast pieces of falling lead, which it drops or misses altogether. The repetition of this fundamentally pointless act gives the film a serial quality, akin to the celluloid process itself.

Serra’s engagement with the cutting edge also led him to work with the land artists Robert Smithson and Nancy Holt. In 1970 he assisted them with Spiral Jetty at the Great Salt Lake in Utah and, after Smithson’s death in 1973, Serra helped to complete Amarillo Ramp in an artificial lake in Texas. His own site-specific sculptures included Spin Out: For Bob Smithson (1972-73), in the park-like surroundings of the Kröller-Müller Museum at Otterlo in the Netherlands. Here the three converging steel plates interacted with each other and their environment, exemplifying Serra’s aim that “the entire space becomes a manifestation of sculpture”.

The 1970s was a difficult decade in Serra’s life. In 1971 a worker was killed in an accident during the installation of one of Serra’s sculptures outside the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis. His five-year marriage to the artist Nancy Graves ended in 1970, and his mother’s suicide in 1977 was followed two years later by the death of his father. However, in that decade he also met his future wife, the art historian Clara Weyergraf, with whom he collaborated on Steelmill/Stahlwerk. Clara was also to play a vital role in shaping his sculpture, as well as giving her name to Clara-Clara, a powerful, curvilinear work that was installed in the Tuileries garden in 1983. The history of this piece exemplifies Serra’s problems in making site-specific art, since it was originally intended to feature in a show at the Pompidou Centre, but at a late stage was deemed to be too heavy.

Clara-Clara’s travails were minor in comparison to the controversies surrounding Tilted Arc, a sculpture 36 metres long, set up at the Federal Plaza in Manhattan in 1981. Condemned for being intrusive, a magnet for graffiti artists and even a security risk, it was eventually removed in 1989, four years after a public hearing in which a majority of witnesses had advocated its preservation.

Despite this setback, Serra’s career continued to flourish. He had two retrospectives, in 1986 and 2007, at the Museum of Modern Art in New York, which also devoted a permanent room to his monumental work Equal (2015), as well as major exhibitions at home and abroad. He showed frequently with his gallery, Gagosian, in London, New York and Paris, most recently in 2021.

In 2001 he received a Golden Lion for lifetime achievement at the Venice Biennale, in 2015 the Légion d’honneur in France and, three years later, the J Paul Getty Medal.

During his latter years, Serra became heavily involved with public projects in Qatar, above all the four steel plates, rising to over 14 metres and spanning more than a kilometre, erected west of Doha in 2014. Known as East-West/West-East, the work engages spectacularly with its surroundings, the gypsum plateaux of the Brouq nature reserve in the Dukhan desert. Serra himself described it as “the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done”.

He is survived by Clara.

🔔 Richard Serra, artist, born 2 November 1938; died 26 March 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[johnwickcaretaker]

The High Table is Down

We won. The Adjudicator has accepted my job offer, and will be running a whole new kind of organization. One centered on righting the wrongs the High Table wrought for so many years. We'll fight only for peace, and die only for love.

Thank you to every last person who fought and died to set us free from the bondage of the High Table. In Osaka, in Berlin, in Paris, in Rome, in Casablanca, in New York, and all around the world. Thank you so much, especially to @vindegramont, @sofiaal-azwar, and @shimazu-akira. I'm proud of every one of you. Stay close to each other, and remember that we did this by trusting one another even through disagreements.

In the coming era, we'll have talks. About who the new leaders should be, how the organization should be structured, how to deal with the High Table loyalists who still live, how we can restore the Continentals... But talking isn't really my thing. I think I need to rest. Finally rest... I'm safe, don't worry. I just want to go home and cuddle Dog, and finally stop getting shot. See you in a bar or a coffee shop somewhere, on a better day.

[GIF is not mine, it's from a Quora response here]

[OOC: blog author is going out soon and might be out for the rest of the night, but feel free to keep discussing the rebuilding efforts/new government until the "canon reset" tomorrow! I've had an extraordinary time roleplaying with everybody. I think I'll do this again at some point in the future. This is truly one of the most creative and wholesome fandoms I've been in <3 - @thewhumpcaretaker]

[myimaginarywonderland]

For anyone that wants some race recommendations for FE, here are my top 3 race recommendations (as a JEV and chaos fan) from every season. (I am also biased for many other drivers which you will see.)

Season 1

Of course you have to watch the first race (Beijing). First race of the series, Nick Heidfeld flip (literally.) Just the opportunity to actually watch the first race of a racing series shouldn't be passed up.

Next, is Buenos Aires because watching Antonio (Da Costa) win that race in that car was like a fever dream. Actually that was the moment where you realised that there was so much possibly for many drivers in this series.

And lastly is the first London race with Sam's (Bird) home win and another JEV podium. To watch a driver win a home race is always special.

Season 2

Mexico because Jérôme won (outliner wins.)

London finale (both race definitely.) The Buemi/DiGrassi rivalry was incredible the entire season but the double header? Wow.

Season 3

Omg Berlin. I loved Felix (Rosenqvist) when he was at FE and that Mahindra area was just so beautiful.

Montreal. When JEV finally won it was like a long time coming and the start of an era.

The first New York race. I am a Sam fan and that entire double header was just beautiful. Truly a great track.

Season 4

Santiago!!! Omg the Jeandré race. The records that were set here, the start of JEV's streak, everything about this race. This is iconic.

Mexico! Daniel (Abt) finally won a race and it was great. Also that atmosphere at the track could not be beaten.

The last one is though but for me as a fan it would have the be the last race when JEV fully won the championship. But the second Hong Kong race or Berlin deserve just as much attention.

Season 5

Marrakesh! Jérôme and Mahindra had everyone cheering for them that race. Literally such a beautiful heartwarming win.

Listen I am critical about rain races but I just can't not talk about Paris. That podium had my heart. And as the first genuine rain race you have to watch it.

Again, there are so many great third picks here. Rome (nearly the Lotterer win) could be it or Santiago? Or Bern?

Season 6

Diryah (the second race.) I miss Alex (Sims) soo much.

The third Berlin race. This is complelty biased because I loved all the drivers on that podium and we had a driver win at his home race. Listen, that Berlin 6 race final was cursed but it was also fun.

I would add Marrakesh just to escape the Berlin hell. But again, I also think there are so many great other races like Santiago with Max (Günthers) first win.

Season 7

Again biased pick but the first Rome race! A JEV win with a chaotic race.

The second London race! Alex Lynn! The man, the myth, the legend.

I would say the second Mexico race because I adore Edo.

This season is meh mostly because of the qualy format affecting racing negatively.

Still has bangers though.

Season 8

New York first race! Nick Cassidy finally winning a race. Also I love New York as a race so biased.

The second Rome race. Again Rome often offers great racing and I especially loved the second podium on that double header.

I think Monaco is great because you have both championship fighters on the podium in 1-2.

Season 9

Hyderabad! JEV win!

Cape Town! What a wonderful first race we had there.

Monaco has to be here because you had all three championship fighters on the podium (also I adore Nick Cassidy and think he should have won that championship because I am petty like that. )

Bottom line is there are so many great races in FE and every single one is worth watching because of the fun and unpredictability. Add to that the clear lack of one front runner or even a true top of the grid and you have potential for genuine great racing.

Please if you have the time watch all the races for yourself because every single one (even the ones I dislike) deserve your attention.

[changingplumbob]

Just curious, have you heard of the "Hidden Cats in (blank)" game series?? They're really cute games where you find a bunch of cats in different locations, like New York, Paris, London, etc. They're not long games but they're pretty relaxing and there's loads of them in the series. Thought you might like them c:

There's also a "Hidden Cats in Spooky Town" which isn't yet available on console (says Oct 24th, I think, for PS) but I think it's on steam already! Looking forward to that one.

Oh my gosh no I had not! Oh and some are on a sweet sale! Cats and colouring, sounds perfect for when my brain is too tired for sims. Normally I just do bejeweled 3 but this looks more fun. Fingers crossed it might help me get back in to my jigsaw puzzles I've been abandoning. I'm off to Rome y'all to find cats! Just as soon as I figure out my new spreadsheet set up...

[futurebird]

I read a lot of sci fi. Whenever some novel set in the future starts listing of cities or nations to show that an event is global I like to consider what the places included on the list say about how the author imagines the future.

Tired: New York, Hong Kong, Tokyo, L.A., London, Berlin, Jerusalem, Rome, Paris and São Paulo

Wired: Halifax, Dakar, Lagos, Santiago, Chengdu, New York, Kyiv, Tokyo, Bangalore, Cape Town, Lima, Shenzen and Seoul

Inspired: Halifax, Dakar, Lagos, Prescott, Chengdu, McMurdo City, Kyiv, Christchurch, Bangalore, Tennery Lima, Shenzen and Seoul

[youre-drinking-embalming-fluid]

Some Thoughts About Assassin's Creed: Unity

Since I finally upgraded to an actual PC from my work laptop, I'm playing AC Unity for the first time after rerunning Brotherhood, Revelations, and Rogue for hours. It feels fundamentally different from the older AC games, so this is my word dump to get my thoughts down.

Arno, as a character, doesn't feel much different from ACII Ezio or Connor - he's headstrong, brash, and rarely forward-thinking. He gets himself into situations and has to pull himself out of them, or be pulled out by his allies. Physically, though, he represents a HUGE change for me.

Arno moves like a capital-A Assassin. He's catlike, glides between balconies, leaps across rooftops and in and out of windows. Even AC Brotherhood, which I believe has some of the best parkour of any AC game, cannot hold a candle to Unity.* And Arno's movement is what really sets it apart from the older eras.

Altaïr is fairly clunky - a product of being the first game, I think. His climbing, fighting, and assassination technique is textbook, if repetitive. Ezio is crafty, making use of new technology like the hidden gun and hookblade. He's fast and dextrous. Connor is incredibly strong and agile. Edward and Shay are brutish assassins, more suited to open combat than stealth. Edward, Shay, and Connor are all capable fighters, able to take down any number of soldiers in a fight.

Arno does none of this. Despite having only one hidden blade (the first since Altaïr, iirc), he carries out double assassinations - both on level ground and from the air - with grace and deadly accuracy. Previous settings - Rome, New York, etc - create paths for our assassins to follow, rewarding our keen eyes with exciting parkour sequences. Revolutionary Paris is built to provide freedom of movement ANYWHERE, allowing Arno the ninja to move anywhere and take any opportunity provided.

This leads to the customization section. Previous games offered very linear upgrade trees - from unlocking them by progressing through Altaïr's story missions to crafting your own in AC III, Black Flag, and Rogue. Arno is the first assassin who feels fully customizeable, able to switch from a stealth focus to a range focus to a bruiser in seconds.

I love the newfound freedom of Unity - not just in terms of movement but also style. And that's why it is my favourite AC game - so far!

Shoot me a DM if you ever want to play Co-op! My gaming friends are mostly FPS and RPG people but i do really want to play these missions :)

--

*admittedly I have not been using any mods, though i have seen some remarkable AC Brotherhood parkour mods that really level up the system

[marleysfinest]

mate you already know im coming in here for Ony but fuck im also gonna be a bit cheeky and say could I get it for the letters -- wait for it -- V, A & L

BABY I GOT U!

nsfw, minors dni

Onyankopon

V is for Voyeur - What does Onyankopon like to watch his partner do?

god, what doesn't he love watching you do? from the mundane everyday tasks of watching you do your skincare routine and making a coffee, allllll the way to relentlessly sneaking in while you shower. he knows that he almost can't handle it, but he can't stop himself. something about the way the water runs off your fingertips, the floral, sweet smell of your soap clinging to the air, the way the soapy bubbles look as you lather yourself everywhere. you put on a show - of course you do - making sure you focus on those areas he loves to see most. you're not even drying off before he leaps on you and throws you into bed.

A is for Aphrodisiac - What always turns Onyankopon on?

Ony is a simple man with simple pleasures, and his head is always turned when you wear a deliberately provocative outfit in front of him. you don't always want to out and out ask for sex - where's the fun in that? - and so, sometimes, you pick a skirt that's a little tighter to show off your curves. you wear a bra that really does the business underneath a low cut dress, and simply you flaunt yourself in front of him. who is he to resist?

L is for Lingerie - What kind of lingerie does Ony like to have his partner wear?

Ony is a big lingerie man. so much so that he's taken to buying you a new set with every new city he visits. paris, milan, rome, new york - you have a set from everywhere, and he can tell you in a heartbeat where each set is from. he isn't fussy; sometimes a simple lacy number says it all, but he's particularly a sucker for the diamante details. they just look so pretty against your skin, and he loves seeing them glint as he's fucking you from behind.

[thepixelpenguin]

Mario Kart Tour: Oxford Foray

Told you this page would be random.

I think an underappreciated aspect of Tour's city track design is their atmosphere. They don't just tour recognisable landmarks in a believable layout, they really capture the city's character! From New York's dazzling nightlife to LA's casual appeal, Singapore's extreme extravagance to Sydney's energetic simplicity, Vancouver's splashes of colour and natural beauty, Amsterdam's effortless harmony with canals and nature alike, Rome's ancient architecture with comfortable life on top, Madrid's modern bustle with impressive history underneath, Athens' proud (and hilly) past and Bangkok's humble yet hopeful future, and Berlin's seamless integration of all eras: they're all accurate as far as I can surmise. There's only a few that I think don't quite hit the mark. Paris’ modernity is smothered in quaint romanticism, though what else could one expect, Tokyo has little of its maximalist flair, but perhaps the graphics limited that, and then… London.

I'm certainly biased, it being my home country and the only city on the list I've seen for more than a day, but it seems to only hit the beats of its most recognisable icons: laudably no doubt, but the city isn't just its imposing imperial riches! What strikes me about London is its fast-paced mishmash of cultures that fill in all the gaps between the great British statements like water running over cobbled streets: history and novelty around every corner! The course gives me the impression of the former but not the latter. 

I'm not sure I'm qualified to rectify this, but I can make up for it with another English icon! My hometown has its history, but not enough to base a tour around. My current homestead, however, is undeniably culturally significant, and it's not just that. I hope I did well to convey the place as storied and not just interesting, but inviting, a genuinely fun place to stay for a day or a year. That's how I feel about it at least.

HERE WE GO

1: Our foray begins on the left side of the picturesque High Street, between Queen’s College and the Examination Schools. It’s a noticeably wide street (and a noticeably wide gothic limestone starting gate with a waving chequered flag to boot), with a cobbled dividing strip, and plenty of buses to crowd the way! As the road narrows and items are collected, there’s a right turn into the Covered Market, which has three narrow lanes to choose from, and a few opportunities to weave between.

Out of the market is a sharp right turn down a walled alley, with the lovely Exeter and Lincoln colleges adjoining. This is before a huge 180 turn with another item set around the Radcliffe Camera, an impressive dome in the middle of a big communal square. Having lost its fence, at that, so if you’ve got a mushroom and are prepared to miss out on items, the shortcut is worth it! Racers continue north past All Souls College and the Bodleian Library to reach the roundabout connecting Broad Street and Holywell Street. Remember the Bridge of Sighs to your right.

The route continues up Parks Road, a leafy avenue with plenty of boost panels, before splitting around Keble College! If you continue straight forwards, you get an easy wide road, and a view of both the Natural History Museum and University Parks. However, if you take that subtle sharp left, you can find a potentially faster cut-through that’s a bit tougher to navigate. I didn’t even have to design this one!

Both options reconvene at the apex of St Giles, where a patch of off-road leads to an optional ramp, and the road broadens to quite a degree, leaving room for a ridiculous row of coins. The abbreviated straight ends at the Martyr’s Memorial, which now has just a humble patch of grass behind it instead of an entire church, just to improve the flow.

A quick left turn introduces Broad Street, which, you guessed it, also widens out, somewhat narrowed by some of the city’s numerous bike racks. However, this one has its right half covered in short wooden ramps, for the first half! These can be useful for some trick boosts, but more coins lay the other way. Items are given at the halfway point. Before reaching the roundabout at the end, there is a conspicuous diversion past the Sheldonian Theatre (which has no fence, to make way for the race) and through the library complex towards the Bridge of Sighs. Racers may either run straight through the gate (tricking as they go) or take the grated glider ramps to make it over the bridge!

The return to the start line via New College Lane and Queen’s Lane is a winding, narrow path, walled in by the historic namesake colleges. You’ll have to forgive them for not having karts running through their grounds. Nonetheless, navigate those chicanes and a final left turn (with a sneaky cut over the pavement) brings you back to the line. It’s a long one alright!

2: As in track 1, we begin on the High Street, though this time we forge ahead past the Covered Market, the traffic turning off before the Carfax Tower, until the course swerves into the Westgate Centre. In a strikingly similar manner to Coconut Mall, the route has two walkways either side of an optional drop with escalators, before a right turn into a more open area where the drop and escalators are forced. I swear it’s coincidental! The decor is distinct at least. 

After grabbing items wherever you may encounter them, exit the mall via another sharp right turn onto open road. Make use of its breadth before you have to navigate the Castle & Prison, which is exactly what it sounds like! A couple of narrow turns later, there is a brief anti-grav uphill to wind up the Castle Mound to a big glider ramp, from which one must avoid the dreaming spires of Nuffield College and St Peter’s College some random church, or grab some of the revolving coins if you’re daring…

Though you could just drop onto the street, the Ashmolean’s grand ionic forum is a perfect landing place, where one can drift around to jump down the stairs and find themselves heading onto Broad Street once again! This time, the route heads past the theatre and turns at the roundabout, so the other lot of ramps, this time occupying the left half, can be made useful. The lap ends the way you’d expect after turning at the roundabout.

3: Unlike both 2 and 1, we start our race on Cornmarket Street (under a long hanging sign of oil paints on wood, the closest I can get to putting a pub in a kids’ game), a place I would be remiss not to include, along with its clutter of bicycle parking. If there’s one thing you notice about transit in Oxford, it’s how many bicycles are in the way. However, if you can dodge around the racks, you may find some coins or even dash panels…

Anyway, Cornmarket is a simple, if not uninterrupted, straight, which racers take south, spying once again the Carfax Tower and then the Town Hall and impressive Christ Church. You know, the big one. The road continues down St Aldates with all its traffic, but soon turns left through the open gates of Christ Church Meadow! The next half of the lap takes place in greener pastures, first down a puddle-ridden southward straightaway with sparse items and Moo Moos spectating, then when the course meets the Thames and Folly Bridge, a more wide open snaking route with grass shortcuts abound! The riverside path remains intact, but still off-road.

After doing this eastward a while, the course drastically narrows as it winds its way northward strictly following the meanders of the Cherwell. Of course, there’s nothing stopping you from driving through the river itself, but the bumpy terrain and drag force balances any advantage of breadth. A wiser path is found by jumping onto a series of punts, which can be quite hard to aim for, but offer a trick each time. They’re not hard to come by in Oxford. This continues all the way to the Botanic Gardens, which can themselves be snuck through via a gap in the fence. Those wishing for a complete row of item boxes and, of course, the exquisite surroundings, can find themselves jumping over the pond in the south section before reaching the north, where a quick right around the fountain directs you between the greenhouses to reenter the river. The river, of course, does continue past the gardens, but who would want to miss out? Especially when that part of the bed gets so muddy…

When you’ve finally made it to Magdalen Bridge, you need only drive under it to find a wide slope up to the roundabout, which is drifted around before crossing the bridge to witness the lovely Magdalen Tower! We then cross the line - the line from the other versions, that is - before sneaking past the University Church to reach the road past the Radcliffe Camera. The Bodleian Library can now be dashed through for a guaranteed double box, if you can find the narrow entry! The rest is obvious: take Broad Street one last time, westward now, to reach the top of Cornmarket Street.

So how might these all fit together if they were given the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe treatment? Honestly, probably better than the individual courses! Lap 1 takes version 1, of course, but stops short of Broad Street, instead cutting through via Cornmarket to start lap 2, with version 2 taking over by way of a right turn at Carfax Tower. Lap 3 simply commences from the High Street and doesn’t bother with the whole Broad Street diversion: we’ve already seen it!

Oh right, I also made the music for it! You'll have to forgive Musescore's playback engine, they try, bless 'em.

It too had to be truly emblematic of Oxford, and besides the obvious historical, academic, fancy vibes, no sound reminds me more of this place than the echoing of church bells! And there are choirs in every college. So I ended up with a rather baroque piece, arpeggiated bass, change ringing, suspensions and all, which certainly suits the locale, but does NOT typically suit Mario Kart's encouraging energy. Heck, they almost always rely on synths, too, let alone their melody-first composition style that is entirely unfamiliar. How did I fit the mould? By focusing on intensity of Biblical proportions! If there's one thing choirs and organs can do, it's a ramp-up of DRAMA. With enough build and release, it's got the natural energy. Slap on a drum-beat and it ends up shockingly fitting. With all the zero inspiration I had to go on, I seriously surprised myself with this one. Judge for yourself!

Oxford is quite a convenient place to work with: most cities are so massive that you have to smush all the landmarks together and the layout doesn’t quite come naturally. But this place is already so compact, and packed with unmistakable buildings! Also, I know they’re trying to be flattering, but can you believe London saw not a drop of rain?! I think Oxford should be partially cloudy by contrast, providing a gentle rainfall, but with enough streams of sunlight to pierce the depressing grey… it could make the meadow look positively angelic!

Perhaps one day I’ll try my hand at Hong Kong Hustle to address Tokyo’s plight… or Shanghai Streets, I can’t decide! And then there’s one that is so easy to make that it’d be kind of funny just to do for the sake of it. We’ll see.

If anyone wants to take the names Rio de Janeiro Jaunt, New Delhi Journey, Moscow Scoot, Stockholm Swing, Cairo Cruise, Geneva Chase, or best of all, Brussels Bout, be my guest. And if any modders feel like 3d-modelling most of Oxford for me, I would love to give it a look :D