#it's rly like.. idk like i said it's touching that ppl want to be my person whether that's friendship wise or whatever

[piplupod]

sometimes i think maybe it's a good thing i'm so traumatized and fucked up mentally and emotionally bc then i never expect ppl to be kind or even just plain old nice to me, so when they ARE kind or nice i feel overwhelming gratitude and almost a sense of awe HFDSJKL like... i dont know if i would have had this appreciation for each little piece of kindness if i wasn't the way that i am. but also i know thats kind of an absolutely wild way of thinking about this LMAO

[ca-suffit]

what are your thoughts on lestat/gabrielle bc parent-child incest is always abuse yet sometimes it feels like fans treat that r/s and akashastat as jokes, maybe bc they can’t recognise female abusers or bc they don’t understand abusers (i.e. lestat) can be and often are victims of abuse themselves.

I already know this is gonna be a rly long reply bcuz there's a lot to talk about to answer this.

gonna put it under a cut for what the topics are. don't click if u don't want to read about incest and abuse obviously.

first, as I've said in other asks here and there, fandom does have a lot of problems with criticizing at least white women in fiction bcuz it's too much of a mirror held up to what fandom spaces are usually made up of to begin with. this is also why darker topics become jokes. it's all a way to create distance for engagement, whether the distance is not to look at urself or maybe ur own trauma (it's usually both here). I've seen a lot of this in the book side of the fandom over the years. it's also why lots of stuff is focused on surface level words ("it's gothic fiction," "they're all monsters") instead of any in depth exploration.

secondly, not to sound like a shitty book person, but incest *is* a major part of gothic fiction. the intention *is* to be repulsive, horrifying, and taboo. ppl should obviously take care to avoid topics that u find overwhelming and might harm ur mental health, but otherwise this *is* part of the genre.

lestat and gabrielle also....don't rly get that much into it tbh. the fandom makes it sound like more than it is. idk if the show is gonna make it more but I doubt it. although there was a dig about it in the trial script that I never saw anyone mention btw

"if u want to kill ur lover, or fuck ur mother, it'll have to wait."

I personally find the shifting power dynamics between human life and vampire life to be rly interesting. I don't think it's something the books explored enough tbh. bcuz lestat and gabrielle are the only vampires who came from being a human parent and child to the child then becoming the vampire parent to his own fledgling vampire mother.

it's clear in their human life that their parent / child boundaries are fucked and tbh that's the worst part for me. especially bcuz the fandom doesn't want to explore that bcuz ppl don't like to criticize gabrielle, as mentioned above. her life is awful so ppl give her a pass a lot. but she starts off as the human parent and she's a p bad parent in a lot of ways tbh (cuz she never wanted to be one).

anyway. I always saw the vampiric era incest as a metaphor for their broken relationship otherwise. like I said before, the fandom makes it sound worse than what even happens too. they never fuck each other. at most they kiss and think or say things that are inappropriate about each other's bodies and their feelings towards it, but modern day stories have had a lot more brutal depictions of incestual relationships between mothers and sons tbh. not saying that to downplay it or say "get over it" or w/e but just to touch on that, cuz it does get weirdly annoying here about it sometimes. ppl act tough about their love of "gothic fiction" all day for other topics in the books that are rly more graphic than this, then act like this is the one thing that goes too far? It's fucking weird, although I have theories about why that happens too.

back to the point tho. they're kind of a "failure" mother and son in life, so that's how I tend to read why this happens in the first place. lestat wants a mother and gabrielle wants to be a man (she directly tells him at a point "u are the man in me").

this is from TVL, before he leaves for paris (when they're both still human)

"I tried to take her in my arms. She stiffened at first but then I felt her weaken and she melted against me, and she gave herself over so completely to me in that moment that I think I understood why she had always been so restrained. She cried, which I'd never heard her do. And I loved this moment for all its pain. I was ashamed of loving it, but I wouldn't let her go. I held her tightly, and maybe kissed her for all the times she'd never let me do it. We seemed for the moment like two parts of the same thing."

after he makes her a vampire, they're kissing each other a lot in that first night. lestat saved his mother from dying and created his first vampire, which he wasn't sure he could do, and she isn't sick anymore and has more freedom than she knows what to do with. she's no longer his human "mother" either. he mentions a lot in these moments that there's no hesitance when they kiss each other like there was before. bcuz they're both happier in their individual issues and this is how they can express that as vampires now. he feeds her blood from his mouth later on in their first night and it comes across like more of a nurturing action than something weird and sexual.

so there's obviously incestual themes present but, to me anyway, this always felt a lot more sad than anything. like they don't know how else to meet each other's needs so they do this as vampires to act out a type of intimacy that otherwise they don't rly have still?

but ya. lestat did not become who he is from nothing. both his parents were abusive in different ways and akasha abuses him too. he constantly has vampirism forced on him against his will and tries his best to ignore how it makes him feel, especially about his own body. he has a lot of trauma attached to how he looks too and it's a whole thing. gabrielle and magnus tap into that in ways too.

fandoms don't rly like to look at cycles of abuse bcuz it's easier to say someone is just "bad" than to feel like maybe ur a bad person too if u sympathize with them. that's why ppl here are working hard to usually make any of these characters either the abused or abuser, depending on which side they relate to the most. it's almost always a combination of both in everyone tho.

[youremyheaven]

okay so i'm so the anon who brought up how freaky solar men are up & i thought abt how i wanted to go abt this like i was orig. going to continue my spiel and outline every single kink i saw as a pattern but ... i just want to be concise + this is an astro blog i don't want to get too graphic on here so here's me wrapping it up (sorry this one is anti-climatic):

so at the root of it solar men go into sex - honestly any situation in their lives - asking themselves 2 things.

how can i have fun here? & how can i maximize on said fun?

how & will this feed into my ego?

it's an oversimplification of solar men but i think thats the gist of what drives them in any situation. so you can use that logic to apply to whether you'd think a solar man would be into smth sexually or not. like for e.x. solar dom men tend not to be munches in the bedroom (sorry girlsss 😭). but it makes sense as to why when you apply the logic of them being ego & pursuit of happiness driven. and if you do meet a solar man who does like eating their girl out ask them their reasoning for it and i swear their reasoning will somehow fall into this logic too (e.x. "it's fun for me" or "it makes me feel like im the man")

anyway with that being said there's only one other kink they rly lean into that i do want to elaborate on bc it's fun! it's roleplaying. they're so fun in this regard they like to play up certain scenarios (typically a power imbalance dynamic at play in it too) and they rly like it when you dress up for them; again there's also this air of unserious fun to it too like they just don't take themselves too srsly. like my fav memory w my latest sun dom ex was the time when the mid-autumn festival rolled around (he's chinese) and i asked him how he wanted to celebrate since his family was back home so it would just be him & i so he came up w the idea that i dressed like a bunny and delivered him his "mooncake". this is context for those who don't know (how he explained it to me so if this is botched i'm sorry omg): for chinese ppl there is an association b/w rabbits and mooncake during mid-autumn festival; jade rabbits often delivering them. anyways to make a long story short, i ended up picking up a box of mooncake for him and when i showed up to his place he had a whole bunny lingerie ensemble laid out for me so you can put two and two tg and figure out how that went 😂

now with that wrapped up i acc wanted to touch on the last ask you answered: hearing your type now i do not recommend a sun dom man for you actually. sun men def play it cool and i'll be honest they're the type to bully/tease as flirting and i find that the kind of women that best respond to the super cocky, kind of a bully style of flirting from solar dom men are saturn dom women (who dish it right back to them) and lunar dom women (extremely receptive & thrives in passivity). just as claire put it. your type acc sounds more along the lines of a venus dom man (they're simps & tend to worship - they just don't have that external tough guy thing going on imo) combined w smth else. i remember you saying you had a mercury dk do you mind sharing the nak/sign it's in? that could probs help w figuring out whats best for you

oh my last thing do you think solar dom men tend to be drawn to working as commercial pilots? if so why do you think that may be? bc as i was writing this i realized all of my exes were either commercial pilots or up in the corporate ladder. working corporate for them makes sense i feel like i've seen that somewhere but it's the pilot thing i'm curious abt

damn 😳😳😳

Yeah I def can't stand Saturnian men (mainly Anuradhas) and idk any Solar men but while they sound 🥵🥵 they're not for me as you said

I swear my type is a Venusian man who will worship me 🤤😤😩😭 I think I really like the idea of a big serious tough guy that others are intimidated by but who is a complete sweetie with me. Having a partner that is socially respected and taken seriously is vvv important to me (probably bc I have Venus in 10h) I do see the effect of my Mercury DK bc I love to flirt and tease and I love the smooth talking type of guy, I really value emotional & literal intelligence in men but beyond that Mercurial men are horny little rabbits and that kind of puts me off. I want a Venusian man who will be more refined about that sort of thing??? My old friend is with a Bharani Moon guy and honestly I want what they have. He puts the shoes on her feet, carries her bags and feeds her even?? Like that guy loves to give and is a complete simp (idk anything else about their relationship so idk what the downside of all this Venusian affection is)

When you said commercial pilot I stopped breathing 😳😳😭😭 because I only know one person who is a pilot and he's Krittika Sun 😩😩😩 I think Sun dominant people both men and women are drawn to the top of the hierarchy, they need to be the best at what they do, they won't settle for anything less than that and all the Sun dominant people I know are extremely ambitious and hardworking. With flying, they're literally on top of the world and in the air, that's as Sun dominant as it gets. Maybe that's a simplistic take but I think they're drawn to the high life and doing something that only a few get to do. I think all benefic planets kind of create a sense of elitism and exclusivity in its natives (I know Sun isn't widely considered to be a benefic but it's ...The Sun...) our solar system revolves around the Sun, life on earth centres the Sun. The natural most comfortable place for a Solar person is at the top of the ladder, they don't feel like they "belong" anywhere else. The Sun is used to being needed but the Sun doesn't need anybody or anything, if ykwim?? Probably why Sun natives dgaf about anyone or anything lol

[straycalamities]

Oh my okay I've got several... no I've got plenty of questions abt Truffula Flu lol

So... I'll ask all I remembered I wanted to ask, I hope it won't be too much..

1. Why guns aren't allowed in camp Entre? Maybe I skipped few posts, but I didn't see explanation for this one

2. About zombie mutations. Is they're really become stronger or is it just Rocky and Entre become weaker cuz of their illnesses?

3. Swags mod said that Swag would probably leave camp and die somewhere in quite place, while trying to survive. Why would he leave people that he cares about? Im a little bit dumb and don't exactly understand his planned ending 8(

4. There was a moment when One-ler tried to convince Bitter to put him out of his misery, but he escaped that. And I was curious, if he actually killed him then, would Entre blame himself for that? And if so, would it be worse then he blamed himself when he killed Bitter by his own hands?

5. After Rockys planned death, would Swag blame Entre for this? I mean, emotionally shocked, blame him again about this apocalypse stuff, that Rocky wouldn't die if he wasn't infected and etc.

I hope I made myself clear cuz I dunno how to put some questions ughh😭😭

And again Im sorry if its too much questions!

PHEW THAT IS A CHUNKY LIST. i love it

1. guns are loud and the infected are drawn to loud noises so if you shot a gun you’d be ringing the dinner bell basically. i feel like maybe we touched on it directly? but if i’m wrong it’s probably bc it’s a common thing brought up in zombie apocalypse stories so we might’ve assumed ppl just Knew why none of them used or wanted to use a gun

2. they do become stronger! i actually have a whole list of mutations (and more can be added as ppl come up with them! it’s open lore basically)

i made a whole google doc explaining the actual truffula flu and the symptoms, risks, etc (content warning for if you’re sensitive to medical discussion?? i don’t know how to word it but i wrote it like ur typical online disease info page. also content warning for zombies bc. it’s entirely abt zombification.)

rocky and entre being weakened definitely didn’t help their situation but yes. it’s mainly bc the spiky zombie is faster and stronger than ur typical sort

3. this is kinda hard for me to answer bc i’m not the one who originally wrote it. i don’t rly know why it was planned for it to go like that. i guess out of irony? i know the original plan was for swag to be the sole survivor at the end, but that kinda clashed w other plans so it was changed. so maybe this was the compromise to that

i will say tho that. things had been discussed since that post was made and his story goes differently than was broadcasted. howso? you’ll just have to see :)

4. yes, entre still would’ve blamed himself because ultimately: this is all his fault. regardless of who dies how or where. they wouldn’t be in that situation if it weren’t for him. especially if it’s connected directly with the infection. especially if it’s right in front of him where he can’t ignore it

he wouldn’t have been AS devastated by bitters death if he weren’t the one that had to kill him tho, because the thing is: that was the first time entre had directly killed someone who was still “alive” (unless i’m forgetting some obscure shit i did or said idk it’s been over a decade) and not only that, it was someone who was still his friend despite what he’d done? and even more layers: he had worked so hard to get bitter to come out of his shell prior to the infection and actually be his friend and then this happens. and he has to be the one to end it. bc he was pressured into it

so honestly entres descent into immense self-loathing and all that would have been Very different from how we saw it if someone else had taken care of bitter

5. nah i don’t think swag would’ve like actively started pointing fingers at entre again at that point. like deep deep down swag can’t ignore that this IS entre’s fault and this WOULDNT have happened if not for his mistake, but…swag realizes in the story that it’s not gonna get them anywhere if he keeps holding on so hard to those facts. like if he keeps berating and belittling entre as payback for everything what’s actually gonna get better for that? nothing. all it does is give him temporary catharsis and even that gets cheaper and lasts less time every time he does it

entre wants to fix things so earnestly and tries and swag sees that and wants to help because obviously he also would like this to be undone or at least, cured. and they can’t help each other if they’re at odds. and so even if it’s really hard on him to lose rocky like that, i think at that point it’s just chalked up to “this bitch of a situation” and not “entre did this”

not forgetting the fact that at that point, entre is going to mean a LOT to him because of how their relationship has deepened. so he’s not gonna turn on one of the only ppl he has left

thank you for the questions!! 😊

[seongminiz]

yess hehe i figured it’s not a full cb but maybe teasing it? i need to watch rtk soon but im bad at like finding time to do stuff that requires my attention span if u know what i mean🤕🤕

possessive bf minhee… hmmmmm.. i’m soooo unoriginal but thinking about sitting on his lap at like a frat party or smth.. thinking about maybe wearing a longer skirt and he can fit his arm underneath to tease u.. maybe even dipping his fingers inside ur cunt.. no one else is rly paying attention cuz they’re too busy drinking n chatting and committing their own acts of debauchery (??? idk if i used that word correctly)… kinda into edging rn so im thinking about him making u beg to cum but ur so torn cuz.. like it’s soo public🤭🤭 also throw in that maybe he saw u flirting with someone else or being flirted with.. like taeyoung or serim…

- 🧁 anon

aaaaaa sorry i fell asleep :3 i hope its not a cb too ngl , they need to rest n i hope if starship wants them to drop an album they'll wait a little after rtk .. at the same time tho , if they have a cb too late after rtk ends the hype will have died down already so idk what the best option is :( bc as much as i hate the fact they have to participate , rtk is bringing them a lot of new attention (see : the concept film having like 1 million views in just 4 days or something) n tbh same i decided i wont watch the full episodes , i'll just watch crvts parts on twt/yt 😭 i cant be bothered to keep up with it lmao

now , to the good part of this post („• ᴗ •„)

ur like genuinely insane in the most positive way possible bc ?!!??!!??? idc if its unoriginal (is it tho) idcccc this idea is so good :(( n he'd soooo do that bc someone has been flirting with u (lets say taeyoung bc . yea why not .)(im having a little taeyoung brainrot moment)(wait I DIDNT EVEN SEE THE LAST PART WHERE U SAID TAEYOUNG OR SERIM STOPPPP WHY R OUR BRAINCELLS CONNECTED) but u r either too clueless to realize n r treating it as a normal friendly interaction , or ur flirting back bc u know how minhee gets when hes jealous n the whole time minhee is just acting like hes fine with it (when hes actually just thinking how to get back at u for it) . after a while the party kinda dies down n theres less ppl n ur kinda just chilling while sitting on minhee's lap when he slips his hand under ur skirt , at first u dont rlly think abt it , hes just brushing his fingers along ur thigh, but then he starts touching along the hem of ur underwear. u r kind of alarmed bc even tho theres less ppl than earlier , u r still in public ?? but minhee doesn't rlly care - n maybe u dont care that much either , considering how the thought of getting caught (especially when taeyoung literally just sat down right beside you) is making u wet :3

(srry not that good im still kinda hungover oopsie)

[broodsys]

ive been thinking about this a lot lately and kinda just wanna say it somewhere.

that said, feel free to just scroll on by bc this is heavy. also super long? i just- needed to get it off my chest, kinda.

cw: sexual assault, alcohol and drug use

so, in highschool there were these two guys who were in my friend group but i wasn't rly friends with, we'll just say L and N. L had an obvious crush on me and kept trying to get me to date him even tho i had a boyfriend and he knew my boyfriend - once i ended up going on a date with him bc my autistic ass thought he was just trying to hang out, lmao. anyway, it was awkward, esp once my friends told me uhhh no that was a date? u just described a date.

N was a lot more chill but also kinda... he was nice and all, genuinely nice, but he was also one of those no no i'm not sexist i'm an equal-opportunity hater haha! guys. so i wasn't rly close with either of them

but when i went to college they were the only two ppl i already knew and i was rly overwhelmed about being all alone on campus at first, so i ended up spending quite a bit more time with both of them, in and out of school. and it was fun when it was the three of us! they were amusingly raunchy and we talked a lot about related subjects and went on walks together and idk, it was nice. this was before i realized i was trans but i think it fulfilled a Just One Of The Guys need i had at that time

got p close with both of them, esp L. ended up at his house by myself quite frequently. and, well, we drank - this being before i realized i had a unrelated liver disease. and by this point i was out as trans and my family was AWFUL about using the right pronouns and i had no in-person connections who used the right pronouns and i was... p desperate for validation. while also using both alcohol and weed quite heavily to cope

so, yknow... hang out with someone who calls me 'he', talk about gender shit, sigh and go along with the eight million dumb YT videos he wanted to show me, but whatever, i got free liquor and it was smth to do, right? i was even able to lean into being a system around him! that was super validating.

so, surprise surprise, we ended up becoming kinda fuckbuddies. and i was okay with that - p open that i wasn't interested in a relationship but like, sure, we can fuck around. so we did. usually drunk. usually quite drunk. but that was okay because there was still consent going on

but i had one very clear, very explicit boundary. and once he started to cross it - i called him out on it and he pushed back and i had to tell him to stop several times. it wasn't like... aggressive? just very, very coercive. took me a long time to accept that it was still a form of rape. hell, i still struggle to type that out, i want to add caveats to it. but it just was. and that was the big change for me, when i realized he wasn't actually going to respect my boundaries. still hung out with him for a while after that and we had sex a few more times while i was processing my feelings about everything and trying to accept that he was in the wrong and i had a right to be upset

but after that, i just started feeling rly shitty on the walk home whenever i left him. there were subspace/subdrop issues at play, too, which was another brand-new discovery for me, and no aftercare ever, but it was... yeah. it was bad.

still, took me a while to break off the relationship. i was actually at a conference for a school thing when i did it, because being around ppl who saw me as a man, who respected me, who treated me kindly... it totally changed how i saw interpersonal dynamics. like, that whole experience was a MASSIVE wake-up call for me. so that was when i cut him out of my life

now, oddly, this story isn't about L. it's about N.

afaik, N had no idea about any of this. but a while ago, idk probably over a year now, he sent me a nice text mentioning that he didn't know why we'd fallen out of touch. and i usually delete texts after a while but i still have that one. sometimes i want to reply - not telling him the details, just like 'yeah so me and L had smth weird and i didn't want to put u in a position where u had to choose' but also just- memories, yknow? i associate them together very strongly bc the three of us spent sm time together

but i still feel kinda bad. kinda miss N. i saw him become a better person while i saw L kinda become a worse person. i just feel... idk. torn? ultimately i gotta take care of me because no one else can, but i think about him quite often, and about that text i've never replied to. and i also spent time with N alone, and it was just chill. he never tried to fuck me. when i slept over he let me have his bed and made sure there were fresh sheets and everything. he watched me play videogames at his house and let me spend forever on character customization and made sure i had vegetarian food to eat. he was nice, without any strings attached. and we talked about, shit, everything. once we walked for hours and hours - p much the entire night - just talking. he rly opened up to me a lot, and i opened up to him - not about everything and not about anything with L, but about a lot of other stuff. it was an important friendship.

and i just... i regret losing that a lot. i've been thinking about both of them a lot recently. part of it is just coming head to head with things i was using weed to repress now that i've been sober for a while, granted. bc i've been thinking about a lot of things in my past recently.

relationships are messy. but i regret that a good friendship got stained by a bad one.

[trickstarbrave]

.

I feel like other adopted kids and foster kids constantly long for their bio families whenever I see them talking abt their struggles online. And I guess maybe it’s bc I wasn’t directly adopted but became a ward of the state but was basically always raised by my grandparents (who I am not biologically related to, my mom is adopted)

Past a certain age I never really missed my dad. I am completely over it. I used to get sad but I think I mostly wanted a father to feel normal and have all those “father daughter bonding moments” described by other ppl. I have my grandpa who I often call dad bc he’s the only father figure I’ve had, and I think that’s more than enough. I guess I also missed my dad himself but I’ve forgotten most of the memories ZTFXVXGJBJB

My mom talking abt getting in touch w her bio parents and I do not know how to tell her I don’t rly WANT to meet them bc they’re strangers. I have never at once felt like my grandparents weren’t my real family. My uncle is like my older brother, and tbh my grandparents have been more my parents than my mom ever rly was (not entirely her fault she is deeply mentally unwell and had substance abuse problems, but fails to recognize that was why she lost custody of me and was never really a full parental figure). My mom has even said I’m “the kid they actually wanted to adopt” instead of her and yeah that was. Weird to hear. But I guess that cements we simultaneously have a sibling body and mother and child bond with the sibling one being being strong since she views me as the spoiled youngest sibling. I don’t think I’m necessarily spoiled for that reason I think it was more so bc my mom had serious psychological issues that were effecting me and I nearly died multiple times as a baby and continued to be sick the rest of my life. Then again my mom was also disabled as a baby. I don’t know if I can trust her judgement that she was not spoiled considering her parents have bailed her out hundreds of times and made excuses for her to my uncle and I. So

Anyways that was a tangent this family is my real family. I don’t wanna blend with my dad’s and not just bc his mom is crazy and I don’t wanna meet my mom’s bio family but I guess I will if she really wants me to. Doesn’t mean I need to have a relationship w them. But I don’t really have any desire to. Maybe that’s also the autism or mental illness for me idk

I’m really afraid to like, say it around other ppl who grew up not w their bio family bc idk I’m afraid I’ll get accused as ungrateful or trying to trample on their feelings. Or that I am actually a freak and no one else feels like how I do bc my situation is so weird and convoluted or that I don’t “count” and “wouldn’t get it” bc my bio mom WAS still technically around

On a side note oh my GOD I just realized in grade school when they asked me to meet a woman in the office and she asked me a bunch of questions abt my problems at home that was a social worker. I was being interviewed by a social worker. I think I was actually being interviewed bc I missed a lot of school, came to school w random bruises and scrapes, was underweight, and didn’t react much when getting hurt. None of those were from abuse or neglect tho I was just chronically ill so I missed school and had trouble putting on weight, have a weirdly high pain tolerance, and had poor spacial awareness so I often bumped into things or fell down (I think i still do actually). I literally had no clue until now when I remembered that while writing this post VHCGUVFCHVVHVHBJ HELP

[highseraphs]

I know you said you’d be cooling off on using this account — but I would still like to hear your thoughts on cahciua! For me she ended up being one of the most interesting characters of the expansion, I need a second playthrough to comb over everything.

Nah ur good! I'm still using the acc, just posting stuff occasionally. But yeah I think she's rly interesting too :) I'm not one of those ppl who go super indepth & are organized about characters like some other ppl do in this fandom, at least for this game, but I think from a black person's perspective she's very interesting! (Just saying imo, her and erenville are black-coded)

Idk I felt like I could name some women/moms in my life who are similar to her. Even my own mom in a way lol. Ik she's not a perfect mom but I also acknowledge that no mother is. Heck, I feel like as a person of color, my mom is also (thankfully) very loving towards me but is also someone who does not lead me through every life experience and wants me to explore things on my own, even if it's frightening to do so. A little more hard-nosed than Cahciua but still lmfao, she's just so loving towards Erenville and it really touched me to see that.

Also omg???. Can I just talk about how she named Erenville!? I love that she named him after mallards, she has a lot of trust in him that he'll do the right thing. That he'll end up where he needs to be. At least that's how I see it. GAHGH that made me cry, so many scenes with her and erenville in living memory got me sooooo bad.

She's a pretty tragic character! I assumed she was dead when we meet her in heritage found and having it be confirmed be confirmed just made me feel so, so much for Erenville. His pain is so difficult to witness throughout the rest of the expac, her trying at least any way she could to ease the pain obv shows that she does not want him to suffer. Like some people act like she wants to hurt erenville and it makes me really mad!!!! Obv she'd struggle to present her situation to him! Like that doesn't make her a bad mom holy shit lmfao.

She's so sweet to Erenville, she absolutely loves him! Shes a really solid character. it really kinda irks me that people demonize her so much given the fact that we have worse mothers in the game that have VERY, VARY racist overtones with their character a.k.a: Athena 🙄 and people wanna not only make fun of her Erichthonios, her son!!!!!! for weathering her abuse, but also call her a girlboss even though she's absolutely despicable!

[neonstatic]

i'm having a tough time w physical touch lately. well, i don't like hugs as much anymore. to the point that sometimes, i'll go for a hug and realise that, well, i was better off without it. it might be bc i'm full of upset feelings and i'm thinking abt them more than i am feeling them, so now i'm just all out of wack. i, who normally welcome hugs from anyone and am known for giving great hugs, am now repulsed by it. i don't mind holding hands or a touch on the shoulder or a peck on th cheek or even a rigorous head rub, but i don't want arms wrapped around me. like my ladyfriend's told me, it seems i prefer embraces on my own terms. i give the hug but i don't get hugged. it's starting to feel a lot like that lately. i even spent last week dodging hugs from ppl i usually love hugging cus it just doesn't feel right. i hugged my nephew goodbye and tbh the discomfort still sits w me days later. i'm abt ready to give up on hugs altogether.

why am i thinking abt hugs so damn much? well, i'm an overthinker. but it's bc at work, my fave coworker (who happens to also be my friend) is a touchy woman and she always greets me w a hug. we hugged in front of a coworker, a middle aged man who is chummy with us both. he joked that he was feeling like an orphan bc he got no hugs and my friend gave him one. i just stood on the side bc, well, i didn't even rly like hugging her at that moment, and i didn't want to hug someone again so soon. he looked at me expectantly. i just giggled (i was nervous!) and went back to working.

we had a lil back and forth joke abt him having to fill out a form to officialise our hug contract but a bit later, he asked more srsly: do you not like hugs? do you only hug girls? and well, no! my best guy mates, i give em sweet hugs too. so then i said, "well, ykno, there's a certain level of... friendship..." and then i think he got real sad cus he gave me his back and "said yeah yeah i get it" and now i feel terrible

and i've been thinking it over since 3pm like omg it bothers me! and one hand, i don't like the man that much. we're on friendly terms but. he's kind to me and he does his job well and he's a great coworker to have but idk that i like him as a person, so i don't want to hug him! he reminds me of my dad: he's the very religious, socially conservative, preachy type of man and it Repulses me! i feel that he's already v lucky to have my politeness and friendliness......

[caatws]

Hopefully it's okay to step into the conversation about Gamora/Nebula/Mantis and vol 3. Sorry if this isn't concise but I think part of the problem is that it feels like there was potential for equal representation of women that ended up becoming an either/or scenario.

In vol 2 we get to know Gamora better and see more of her perspective. We also get to understand Nebula's viewpoint and see a change in the sisters understanding of eachother and their life with Thanos. Along with this we're introduced to Mantis. All of that made for the potential of vol 3 going further and developing in equal measure all three women. During IW Gamora got to shine and her relationship with Nebula was strengthened. In Endgame Nebula shined and we got a new start for the relationship between her and Gamora with Gamora also getting a decent bit of focus once time travel starts. In this Mantis doesnt get as much attention but there is still some growth for her in IW. Then the holiday special comes along to let Mantis shine and she grew in her confidence and powers.

All of this should have led to pretty equal footing for the ladies in vol 3, but it didn't. Nebula does get great development and stand out moments with the team but in a way it feels like it's happening because there isn't as much occurring with Gamora or Mantis. Partly because they don't give enough examination or credit to how much work Gamora had done for the team prior to her death and how it's been with her gone. But also because Gamora's arc after Endgame needed more focus. Then there's Mantis and as you mentioned her relationship with Peter doesn't seem to go anywhere and we don't get a lot between her and Nebula and especially Gamora. There isn't much set up for her wanting to leave the team at the end either.

Again I'm sorry for not being more concise but I guess my point is Gamora lead the team/family in a a lot of ways and vol 3 sort of presented like the current dynamics were how it had always been with exception of Peter pointing out she created the guardians. And Mantis spent years with Gamora and that could have been talked about. Nebula carving out her own place on the team was nice and important but it still could have been mentioned she had a place to call home and people to be family with due to Gamora's work and past/2014 Gamora could have had more exploration within all of this. And I think more could have been done with Mantis as this was going on.

( I will say I agree with you that Mantis going with Peter at the end would have been a nice touch. She really didn't get to know him as her brother. I would have loved Gamora staying with Nebula too. Let them spend more time together)

yesss of course it's cool for you to join the convo anon!!! i love getting to keep discussing our gotg faves together 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 and no need to apologize for not being concise! this blog is for ppl like me who cannot be concise when it comes to talking abt their faves <3 so you've come to the right place

and i agree with all that you're saying! i also find it surprising that gamora and mantis' relationship just seems to Not Exist in canon enough to be acknowledged that much in the holiday special or vol 3?? like girlies were living on the same spaceships together for 4 years, you'd think they'd have gotten to know each other pretty well and even become close friends, in the same way we could think of like gamora with rocket or drax, but canon rly said "idk lol"

i know we've talked abt it here before, but original gamora's influence on the gotg was definitely a big, gaping hole of content missing from vol 3 for me. like none of them would be together if it weren't for her, there would've never been a gotg without her bc she was literally the FIRST and ONLY one who cared abt keeping the infinity stone from ronan for quite a bit in vol 1! without gamora, no one would've been trying to save the galaxy!!!!

so to see the impact of her death not even rly be acknowledged much outside of peter and nebula grieving in their respective ways (and, again, the mcu trying to act lowkey UWU abt it, instead of acknowledging that she was murdered by her fucking abuser in cold blood bc he ""loved"" her) is just kinda like. james. kevin. babes. are we watching the same movies 😭 bffr...

[blueiight]

8, 11, 12 for spaceboys

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

every bro who thinks this show is a perfect analogue to their rl politics…or likewise that the show is mocking said bros bc theyre incapable of confronting the fact that fascists will use anything to justify their ideology & that there is an air of revanchism/reactionary sentiment in the text that the author presumes the audience/reader will think of as morally dubious (if not evil downright. think of the ‘i want to be a good friend, but not a master or servant’ speech. which i rly do think is the central idea of the text. but maybe thats me projecting too? we are all a bit of a hypocrite). i just feel like for some ppl this is their first anime that isnt battle shounen that theyre like OMG its #2DEEP4U like omggg. looking at tanaka’s other works or even at yang wenli’s character who serves as an authorial proxy + his own in universe character arc which i <3 in mind tanaka seems to be more interested in how mythology + historiography is constructed than he is rly the minutiae of political reforms and the precision of things (if the 50 billion people that seem to die in every space battle didnt clue u in alr). idk. maybe im stupid. but also ppl who take ‘hey, maybe annerose had any sort of feelings about her brother & having to take on being the retroactive justification for his conquest’ (like they even call her the mother of space or something to that affect?? thats a heavy burden for one woman to hold. she didnt even ask for this. reinhard didnt even do anything to frederich like he died .. no one had to free annerose) to be ‘ur calling annerose a bitch?’. it doesnt help that theres not enough textually of annerose, but the fact that a lot of her screentime / page time is ominously prescient warnings on the nature of power v. reinhard’s disposition is something??? sieg if my brother stops listening to you then my brother is lost.. is that not a sign of some complex feelings about her brother or at the very least, the man her brother has / could / and did become? also queer readings that try to divorce the militaristic elements when so much of the subtext is wrapped around nascent homoeroticism typical in military /‘ male ‘ dominant fields. thinking about kircheis being the most physically imposing but the most gentle, and while he is reinhard’s dead wife his bond with reinhard is also wrapped in a shared militaristic ambition of ‘taking space’. half of what i have is urs! paralleled to reuenthal & mittermeyer - mittermeyer being the only dude who could beat up reuenthal, them being reinhard’s shuangbi /twin stars/pillars bc of their skills in combat... could i have been married too, like mittermeyer? hell naw hilde + oberstein being outsiders in the empire bc they do not commandeer fleets. yang being ‘useless below the neck’ is a joke but its something.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

actually dont filter much cuz spaceboys fandom on here is dead but i refuse to go on certain platforms LOL

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

once again its dead on here idkkk. whats unpop v pop. despite being an OG in this spaceboy shit.. ik the way i liked reuenthal was unpop until nat & wiaw omg Reuenthal’s rebellion as a final act of loyalty + M.A.(S).D. thesis but fr evil seme reuenthal & boring self insert yang all 2018 by ppl who didnt even touch the OVA hurt my soul…what was they doing to my queens💔💔💔 there is no why u should like reuenthal thesis he should be killed with rocks but the ova did something incidentally (or purposefully?) thats haunted me for centuries. everybody likes reinhard and reuenthal in the wrong ways. anne rice interrogating the text fron the wrong pov voice

[ca-suffit]

I generally *don't* dislike devils minion as a ship. I like it even...But sometimes I think about blocking it even though there is good content i like to see on it.

But the tag is filled with people who hate loumand, people who try to put shippers down. I don't see that much hate even from loustat fans.

One of the things I repeatedly see that gets on my nerves is the "armand pays more attention to daniel in dubai then he does to louis" take.

I understand they probably will happen in following seasons. But to think that armand was secretly in love with daniel the whole time in dubai is such a weird take to me. Do you think it has any base or is it just the fans trying to push their own narrative? Am I crazy to think that armand looked like he was completely in love with louis in dubai, despite their problems, and didn't really care about daniel outside of louis?

I get that they will get together in the future and i will support them and nod along when that happens. But they clearly didn't happen in season 2. There was just too much resentment on both sides and they both clearly cared more about louis. Am i crazy to think that?

I think first of all that ppl should relax trying to attack each other over which ships they like or not. it's pointless and everyone is with everyone else eventually so there's no reason to be going at each other about any of it. this was way less intense before the show aired bcuz everyone was white. now it's insane bcuz there's a lot of racist motivations fueling the protection or rejection of these ships. we can all just breathe (this is a general statement, not rly aimed at u).

secondly tho. I think the show has made a lot of things intentionally ambiguous. I can't say one way or another what armand is thinking bcuz the way he looks at daniel at times could read either way. he *is* focused on daniel in one sense bcuz daniel is *the enemy.* once armand was no longer rashid, he could more directly confront daniel and he did (not like being rashid stopped him fully anyway but lol). but there's times he's uncharacteristically gentler on daniel than louis is, like during the engagement mind-reading fuckery. I think it's meant to read as both, if u have awareness of DM. I don't think it's meant to be THERE there rn but a detail to notice and think is kind of fun (hard for this fandom to do tho, ik lol).

idk when DM is meant to take place in this universe, but I think there's something to be said about viewing all of them after 2x5. armand has remembered that entire thing the whole time and yet they're back here again. he'd otherwise erased both of their memories so neither one remembered the "fascinating" segment and he prbly figured the risk of louis thinking that again after so much time and in a different mindset was v low. but louis is still talking to the man he said was more fascinating as a stranger than armand had been for decades. and they're talking about lestat again. "ur going to teach me how to be fascinating" is prbly still in there somewhere. armand is always watching both of them bcuz he still wants to know what this means and why it happened.

it kind of mirrors jonah in S1. even tho louis doesn't explicitly tell lestat not to touch him, we learn that he lived to old age too. it makes claudia's death even worse but anyway I'm getting kind of OT.

but he definitely is v invested in louis too and is putting a lot into making the relationship look good. some of my fav parts are from some of those scenes tbh, when he's just smiling and recounting memories with louis in front of daniel. or even when he runs out as rashid to stop louis from attacking daniel again over claudia's diaries in S1, which now has more context knowing their history and louis' desire to not have harm come to daniel.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

ok this is just a random post abt me musing abt my sexuality and my attraction to people that are not women?

like. im a lesbian. point blank period, thats me. but to me, that not only includes women, but also the non binary spectrum. i just dont want men; theyre not for me, there 0 attraction there

and ive been thinking abt the nuances of that, and how vast the non binary spectrum is, cuz its literally everything that is not binary (men and women). and thats crazy btw like i love it, i love being genderqueer, i love that i have a community that gets it and is so diverse and beautiful and im gonna stop or imma get emotional. anyways.

in the last few days ive been thinking. abt amab individuals who are on the nb spectrum. and i think, before, in my mind (and this is genuinely something that im glad im working on btw), me being attracted to nb ppl who were amab was wrong? because to a lot of ppl thats just men (which is transphobic btw; idk why its so much easier to see afab ppl as nb and thats that, but then amab ppl its another thing? like thats weird, why is it like that?? we need to work on that, seriously)

and ive come to the conclusion, which is the logical one btw, that: if theyre non binary, then theres a chance i will be attracted to them. ofc theres nuances here n there, n sexuality n gender is vast n complex, n if u dont want to, dont put urself in a box that doesnt fit u, but yh!! like. for example: a bigender individual, amab. i would so crush on them (depending on my type n shit like that yknow, its not every bigender person ever lmao, my mind does have certain things it likes more here n there, but i hope this makes sense still). an amab person who is a demiboy or goes by he/they or whatever else; like thats not A Man, thats a person who fucking went through a gender self discovery journey, probably still is there just discovering shit abt themselves and theyre queer and they get it!!!! they know what its like to not be binary!!! and i rly hope this isnt fucking mind blowing or god forbid problematic to yall, cuz it shouldnt!!!

im a lesbian, and that to me means im not attracted to men. anything else fucking goes OBVIOUSLY. i rly hope this is making sense, i rly hope im not saying anything stupid here. if u think i said anything wrong or hurtful or if i should put any trigger/content warnings pls do tell me!!! this is just a post abt me musing abt my sexuality and finally working on this weird issue i was having which shouldnt even fucking be there!! my brain was just being dumb!!

i feel like ppl will do ANYTHING to tell lesbians that they are not, in fact, lesbians, and i feel like this will break those ppls minds. but yh. im a lesbian bitches. thats what i am rn, thats what i think i'll be for a long long long long long time. and yh. rly hope this makes sense.

edit: n i didnt even touch on intersex ppl yknow like. its so complex but its also rly simple, i feel like ppl just like to poke at this and make The Big Issue that it is but rly isnt. yknow??

[thechaosoflonging]

cute tings my besfwen during da 4 days we spent hanging out tog when he came back 2 ie:

when we were on da train he said “let’s make this more romantic” as he opened his bottle of chardonnay

when we ate w his frens in da pub he also said “how romantic” when he was sitting across from me sharing a bowl of chips but i dun rmb what da context/joke was lol

said he rly liked da matching phone case i got him n let me put it on for me him in da car when normally he heyts ppl touching his phone

grabbed me by the waist in the yaccuzi and pulled me onto his lap. he gave me a kith on my neck and we sat there as the sun was setting

took lots of photos of me in da yacuzzi/tiny house location & even a secret candid shot of me walking under sum pwetty lights which he said were v cute

lent me his tshirt 2 wear after his shower bc i forgot my sleeb shirt

was super respectful & didn’t try anything w me bc i’m aseagul but also we both slebt in our underwear

took a shower tog after da yacuzzi

da next morning he showered while i brushed my teeth in da bathroom idk it made me feel like we were living tog

told me i looked gorgeous in my swimsuit

let me lean on his shoulder in da yacuzzi and also on da bus ride from town back to his house

bought me ice cream even doe he didn’t want 2 initially

paid for an hour of pool

told me abt his work/living sitch/roommates idk he prob doesn’t open up 2 ppl abt dat stuffs in full detail bar his mom & his guy besfwen

showed me sm music & was telling me stories abt them & told me deep down how he felt abt old music vs modern music

was holding my hand, playing w my hair, held da side of my hand and did da scratchy ting he always does & sang/dedicated cute ass lyrics n moments to me

bought 2 deformed gingerbread man as a way 2 make me laugh & also bc there was 2 of us~

fed me gingerbread man as i was cooking tteokboki

told me he wanted to bring his lab coat n glasses into my crèche n do an experiment w my toddlers “o shit i didn’t bring my lab coat w me, i must come down w my lab coat & whoever is talking gets to wear the lab coat”

[icharchivist]

ahh... an early valentines day! the last event :0 before act 2!!! like i said, i'd do it before the new year! I’m so hype for a tenma and homare event it’s not even funny. they are some of my favs. i was so confused when they said masumi yuki juza and tasuku have worked at the actors cafe before but then later i realized like. there was probably an actor cafe banner and stuff. mostly i realized this bc i saw yukis outfit, went HOLY SHIT and then remembered!!!! this event!!!!! this event ran when i started a3en!!!!!!! i checked the poster for one day princess and i remember doing that event as well!!! i had the juza ssr for that event!!! crazy... oh speaking of event outfits i know this card was not a part of this event but yukis actor cafe card is one of my FAVORITES. i just think the yellow looks so good on him as does his hair in that card. when i was doing the event missions or whatever i remember he'd pop up and i was always like "ah wow... yukis extra charming in this outfit"

anyways actual chronological thoughts as usual.

homare: oh? you have barely touched your carrot salad, tenma. allow me to finish it up for you.

tenma: thanks, arisu. sorry for always making you do this

me, wiping tears from my eyes: homare you are so so incredibly loving.

its like man... homare u are so. i know why you thought you were incapable of building relationships but u are sooooo good at loving people it makes me feel crazy. anyways i feel tenmas pain. im also picky about food. this is why i learned how to cook. oh but back to my point abt homare like when hes dragging hisoka to the vday shift and hisoka is like "pick me up more gently, arisu" that got me. like wow he is just carrying him around. makes me feel emo but also makes me think. does homare have muscles. side note does everyone in a3 call homare arisu? ive noticed it from tenma and hisoka but am unclear if thats the case for everyone. if it is then it does indeed make a lot of sense why his name is alice in the group chat. whether its just a couple of people or everyone i think its cute anyways.

tenma going "making sweets will be a cinch." is so funny to me tho like I do not believe that tenma is anything other than an unmitigated disaster when cooking. same with homare. it seems like they went thru the process with minimal disaster but they would obviously not be good when left to their own devices lmao.

i do think its sweet that tenma seems to actually like make an effort to eat some of the chocolate that gets sent to his agency? instead of just letting it rot or whatever. idk. its nice. also love how often ppl (me) just forget tenma is super famous. like its really easy to forget. the lil test acting skits they did were so fun! i thought homare and tenma executed their prompt excellently. and taichi with fifanialpalpero tanaka... hes so funny. tsuzuru's writer brain making him lose his mind during it was also great. i bet citron would ace this kind of thing tho.

actual day of... the giant rose display for homare makes me think his publisher must love him. I rly want to know what homares published work is like since he does seem. somewhat popular. like thats so interesting to me.

man. it sucks that like. tenma doesn’t get to act though like :/ poor kid. doesn't get to give out the chocolates he helped make either like man. he went so far out of his comfort zone to do comedy for the summer troupe and u forget it bc it’s like. oh he does such a good job! but then it’s like… he can’t really do all these fun acting challenges the way everyone else can. like for the longest time he never rly super challenged himself to do improv before summer etc. but i also think a part of it must be like. did he ever really get the opportunity. any other troupe would've been like oh my god, thats TENMA SUMERAGI. also that part in act 1 where tenma’s dad punched him and we just forgot abt it. makes me feel crazy. 100% accurate to how middle schoolers / high schoolers would act about it though. it was at this point that i reread pt 26 and 27 of act 1 summer because my god... im going to cry about it for real. like tenmas SUCH a character im content to just see him bicker a lot of the time bc its fun and nice but hes also so. yeah... the way kazunari starts of the ch by offering up his opinions (and theyre good opinions!!!) and that like line of him being more confident in offering opinions will go through to sardine search... the way that tenma's like. mm. i gave my agents contact instead of my parents. whatever. and he also refused a movie offer. and the way hes like no worries i'll go talk to my dad. i'll be back for sure. and he ends up like convincing his father and talks abt his like one previous experience with stage acting and its like... oh this is just a kid who is trying his best to become a better person. gahhh. anyways i dont want to retread over past a3 stuff too much... though i definitely sent shorter asks back then, huh.... wonder how my act 2 messages will look like now hahaha. back to the actual event. hisoka that’s an INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED balloon object. that cake... at first i was thinking to myself like "how do i justify this as assassin training like its a wild skill but unless he was doing some crazy espionage why would he have this skill. well ok maybe thats enough actually some wild spy/assassin experience. alternately he worked in a murderous circus, an option i'm only presenting for the kinda rhyme and bc its funny to me personally" BUT THEN homare says "hm, hisoka did mention that he took a position as a part time balloon artist a while back" which i'd say is even WILDER than any of my conjectures about what his pre-amnesiac life was like because who, post-amnesia, chooses to do that as like. hmm well now that I’ve got no idea what to do with my life guess I’ll work part time as a balloon artist. gotta get money for marshmallows somehow. that's what you decide to go for???

ah and then tenma coming in to save the day with that rose idea!! they don't really touch on it but i imagine the crowds wouldve gotten WORSE with him showing up tho haha... i guess homares publisher brought a truly insane amount of roses. its so funny seeing ppl faint over tenma. such a contrast to his usual vibes. when he showed up though i genuinely thought to myself like in my head "ahh… he’s our reliable leader after all, isn’t he?" like oh my god. i'm not a member of the summer troupe. but tsuzuru going "you really showed us why you’re the summer troupes leader" made me be like :) hehe. we agree.

oh and then the cg!! homare giving tenma carrot cake was so sweet. it was just such a pleasant event and cg i think. their dynamic/relationship is so nice actually. it’s... just nice to see tenma being doted upon if that makes sense? like i think its great that he gets to be made fun of like. in a way i think that goes a long way in terms of making him be more comfortable but its also nice to see this as well. and izumi made everyone chocolate… how sweet of her!! i thought it was cute that tenma thought the chocolate was just for him lol... mb he thought it was a thanks for his rose save at the cafe? but lol. no of course she'd make chocolates for everyone. oh my favorite part though was when that last part ended and it cut to the app and i IMMEDIATELY recognized shoutai... was that ur bg music for the a3en server? thats so lovely. speaking of music i have been looping carry on (we'll be here when you get back) so much this past week. such a fun song. for act 2... i dont think i'll get through it in one stretch of time... so you’ll probably get multiple asks if that’s alright lol?

OMG YOU ACTUALLY DID IT! YOU FINISHED ACT ONE BEFORE NEW YEAr!! I'm impressed you really did amazing there omg!!

I'm so thrilled to see you were thrilled ahah. And yeah, there were a few events which were banner-only with the backstages being acknowledged in future story (for exemple, in Blazing Beach Summer, Juza and Omi are both seen using motorbikes. It's because there was a special biker banner for Tasuku, Juza and Tenma, and Juza's story was especially highlighted with Muku's freaking out about Juza taking up biking and Omi being a little uncomfortable because… You know…. Nachi….). The actor coffee thing def happened with those guys back then.

And OMG!!! this is when you started it!!! man, how it all comes back somehow. But i FEEL YA Yuki's outfit looks SO good. So so so good and charming.

Onto the thoughts!

AND GOD YEAH HOMAREEEEE. You're so right, it shows Homare's loving side so much. Like Homare is really always doing so much for the people he loves, he cares for them, he gives them so many words and poems to express his love, and most of all, he gives as much service as possible he can. And i think it also explains why he's so hard on himself when he can't be of help and it must mean he doesn't love enough, while it's just, he loves so damn much if it is what has him worry… He's just so good. so caring. RIP for your picky eating, at least it fits with Tenma just fine ahah

And DLKFJDf Hisoka's scene is so cute. Homare is really doing everything for this DIVA. Good question about Homare's muscles, i would assume he doesn't but i think he must have a descent built still? One of the later act 3's play Homare is a lead at is a ballet event and this requires a lot of body control to even manage, so i would suspect he's pretty descent still??? That said in Autumn/Winter camp event Tasuku does mention that his whole team is just as strong as a twing except maybe Hisoka, but Hisoka being asleep all the time means he's a wild card, and the rest of Winter is only good at psychological warfare. Schrodigner Muscular Arisu. As for the name i think it depends on people, i don't think it's that wide spread, and also there could be a case of his phone nickname influencing how people end up nicknaming him outside of it. But it's pretty sweet Tenma calls him Arisu too.

AND LMAOOOOOO. I totally agree as far as cooking goes. i would be inclined to believe Homare could cook well if he didn't make "artistic choices" on the way. And for Tenma i think he could have some rafined knowledgeable stuff (like how he lectures Yuki on cleaning the Rice in the first summer story), but he probably hasn't done anything too complicated ever. I believe they're disaster in the making.

TENMA IS SOOO GOOD, he's really trying his best for everyone. And i do love how everyone forgets that as well. Itaru has a minichat at some point about how he saw an Ad with Tenma in it and then came back home to see Tenma be silly and he mentions how much he forgot Tenma was this famous but how much he loved to see Tenma being the way he is in Mankai. Another funny "famous" moment is a Banri minichat saying he saw Tenma's face on a canned soda and found it so funny and wanted to support him so much he bought it, but when he went to the fridge to put his drink in it he saw a huge amount of those canned drinks with different name labels on them in the fridge, meaning others people at the dorm had the same idea. It's just. So funny to me that Mankai either forget he's famous or when they remember they're being so teasy about it.

Their acting this event was so damn cuteeee yes. they all did their best and that's amazing.

AND YEAH FOR HOMARE. He's really popular it seems and his work is really beloved a lot. I really want to see some of his work as well too. Tbh though i always keep thinking about my English Poetry Teacher in uni who went on to tell us that Real Poetry Lovers listens to and read poetry in language they don't understand only to try to feel the vibes from the sounds of it. I was bewildered to meet someone with this opinion IRL and it made me go "wait so the fact Homare is famous oversea as is hinted in have a great trip is… like….. actually realistic??? Poetic nerds are just like that???" it still drives me insane.

YEAH POOR TENMA. It's so sad to see that he can't just approach acting the same way as everyone else yknow? Mankai gave him a lot of opportunities at normalcy and at trying things he couldn't try out as a famous actors but there are still limits due to his fame and that's so sad. Mankai makes him feel so normal at times i wonder how isolating it must be when his past reality comes back and settles in. But yeah god. With what happened with his dad. fucking awful. And yeah i feel you for Tenma :( He went through a lot and his arc was just so. so damn good early on, and i think his story especially is one that works so well with the retrospective aspect of remembering just how far he's come. He's so. So good. I can't wait to see how your act 2 rambles shape up after all this :3c

YEAH HISOKA. Wait no "murderous circus" thE FURTHER AWAY OUR HISOKA FROM THE ONE WHO SHALL NOT BE MENTIONED THE BETTER WE ARE!!! I think though that, Hisoka is just very good at picking up new skills. I feel like the balloon artist thing is more recent but definitely because he's pretty good at picking stuff up from a longer time. And yes, money for marshmallows. …. and gifts, actually because Hisoka is so cute. In the valentine's backstage and in some birthday backstage Hisoka mentions he picked up some work especially so he can pay back the people who took care of him by spoiling them a little as well. Basically you can expect that the plushy he got Sakuya is bc of that as well. He's so good…. even if it's weird stuff to do!!!

TENMA'S PLAN WAS SO GOOD YEAH. I can imagine people snapped pictures on instagram/Twitter or something and the cafe got flooded. But yeah tbh, i'm so used to Tenma being both bullied (lovingly) by the Summer Troupe and him being respected for his serious hard work and his input on things that i totally forgot that he was like. THE Teen star people love because of other reasons it's so off from his vibes. I love that for him. But yes. He truly is our reliable leader. We're all honorary summer troupe members when we get to beam with pride over Tenma's development. Our Boy!!!

THE CG IS SOOO CUTE IMO. I guess Tenma&Homare make this good duo of, both famous people with established fanbase but who didn't get an opportunity to create deep friendships because of their difficulties with articulating their feelings and reading the room, so all they had is this fame and not much more, but now they have people to really back them up and they can bloom and improve on the stuff they struggled with. And with Tenma being his youngster and Homare still learning from the "put yourself in his shoes" advice, i could imagine Homare connecting to Tenma and dotting him even more thanks to that. Winter have similar storybeats to Summer imo but with the aspect of, it's been so long since they are going through their pain that it's harder to unlearn their coping mechanisms, while Summer can adapt and bloom as long as they're well guided. I feel like it shows in the Winter/Summer dynamics like, say, Azuma and Yuki's whole thing. And for Homare and Tenma it just, works so organically and sweetly and it's just so nice to see them interreact like this. And Tenma being doted on by Homare is so so sweet. (would make you forget Homare destroyed one of Tenma's bonsai in a backstage. By trying to help, but. yeah. Rip king.) And yeah for Tenma being made fun at making him more comfortable like, the boy really needed to learn from the catharsis of comedy didn't he.

Izumi is SOOO cute at that. Tenma is being cute at that but goodness.

AND HELPPPPP. Yeah personally i had Shoutai set up as my background music, with Unmask, Usotsuki wa Mahou no Hajimari, es no Yuutsu and Pride of the Knights kind of rotating after that. Shoutai was always the 1 song i always had though!

And omg! so glad you like this song, it's sooo catchy! i really end up looping it a lot too it's soooo so good.

And sure!! i def think you'll prob be better to take it bit by bit, even if by the end you end up making a quick synthesis of everything.

Of course i'm okay with many asks are you kidding me, i'm so excited about you starting act 2. I fucking love act 2 i want all of your thoughts. It'll be fun, i cannot wait :D please do send as many ask as your heart's content!

Thank you sooo much once again for the detailled message <33

it's going to be new year in about 10 mins for me, so, happy new year!! onto a new year and more messages hopefully ;D Wishing you well in the meantime <333

[kuiinncedes]

i went to see a friend on campus today for the first time since school endeddd :'')