#it's really convenient isn't it that i always end up going through it alone

[h3ck]

but see the thing is i'd drop anything and everything for you or anyone but i'm alone when i'm breaking down

[dolche-tejada]

You know, I think this ending would have been slightly less of a fucking disappointment if the heroes hadn't been so unfairly favored by Horikoshi compared to the villains. I mean, seriously

Deku destroys every bone in his body multiple times throughout the story and is warned that if he continues, he'll permanently lose the use of his limbs ? Everything's fine, his body's just got used to being reduced to a bloody pulp somehow so there's no consequences for him. In fact even when he literally loses his arms to Shigaraki, he gets them back two minutes later thanks to Eri because guess what ? Her horn still works even when cut off from her body. How convenient.

Gran Torino gets his ribcage obliterated by Shigaraki ? Don't worry guys, he'll survive that despite his old age and injuries, and this to have no particular role in the plot afterwards.

Bakugo dies heroically trying to buy time before Deku arrives ? Lmao, did you really believe it ?? No of course not, Edgeshot just uses his last-minute Deus Ex Machina to save his life at the cost of his own and- Oops nope he's fine too, my bad !

Hawks murders a criminal fleeing for his life in cold-blood ? The best Hori has to offer is him completely free and in charge of the HSPC.

And no, losing his quirk isn't a real consequence for him because not only it literally played a major part in saving the world with Vestige!Hawks raising an insurrection among AFO's quirks, but also because his quirk has always been the element through which people exploited him.

Endeavor abused his family for years and completely destroyed his eldest son ? No jail time and no media backlash for that, the only blame he received was due to the heroes' failure to stop the League during the Raid Arc.

And don't even get me started on this bs about facing hell or whatever for what he's done : He's literally free and wealthy ; he has Rei, Fuyumi, Shoto, his sidekicks and Hawks on his side ; and all the difficulties he's apparently going to suffer are off-screened.

Deku had to sacrifice OFA and his future hero career to save the world ? Guess what, Bakugo invested all his time and money to make him an Iron-Man suit and now he can still be a hero with everyone else.

There are plenty more examples of this but I think you get the idea. Now let's take a look at the villains' ending :

Toya is now a piece of charcoal kept artificially alive for the few years he has left, unable to move a finger, and whose few minutes a day during which he can stay awake will be spent talking to his father who abused him as a child.

Toga, a literal teenager, killed herself to save Ochako and because she knew it's still better than rotting at Tartarus her whole life.

And not only did she die but she did by bleding to death. Let me repeat for those who have trouble grasping what I've just said : In a manga where the heroes can survive having their heart blown to bits, being impaled Kakyoin-style or smashed against buildings like a fly on a windshield, one of the main antagonists died of a fucking hemorrhage…

As for Shigaraki, after learning that his very birth and all the tragedies of his life have been orchestrated by AFO, after all this development and narrative promises about him being saved in the end... Deku just kills him.

Because despite all his speeches about saving him, it seems like the best our MC could do was beating him both physically and mentally until he crumbles to dust…

Compress on his side is apparently locked up for life and kept alive by machines too.

A begging Kurogiri tried in a desperate attempt to save Shigaraki, only to be unceremoniously blown up by Bakugo and dying off-screen without anyone giving a shit, including Aizawa and Mic.

And Spinner will now spend the rest of his life struggling with the extra quirks inside him that affect his body and mind, while having to cope with the thought that his boyfriend best friend and companions have either died alone or are locked away for life in horrifying circumstances.

Clearly not the same as with the heroes...

Now don't get me wrong, even if they suffered just as much from the consequences of their actions or the plot as the League, this ending would still be a disaster in terms of writing but AT LEAST it wouldn't reek that much of hypocrisy.

[tetsuissohot]

☆summary. an argument leads to a sloppy and wet apology.  

☆warning/tags: 18+, fem!reader, angst to smut, curse words, tittie sucking, fingering, penetration, ends with fluff, mention of cum, unprotected sex 

☆word count: 2.8k

☆a/n: please note that English is not my first language, and I am also dyslexic, so there may be some mistakes. However, I do my best to minimize them.

please support your creators! Reblogs and comments are really appreciated!

Shut Up, Darling.

It wasn’t typical for you and Kento to argue. In truth, he wasn’t home much anyway—most days you barely managed a quick "Good morning" before he left, so there wasn’t even time to pick a fight. But today—today your patience finally snapped. Like every other day, Kento had left for work before you woke up, and by the time he got home, you’d already eaten dinner and were lying in bed. He hadn’t even bothered to respond to your texts, where you simply asked if he was okay.  

That silence hurt. After all, he was your boyfriend of years, and yet he felt distant, like a stranger. You felt ignored and neglected. The pain of it all, especially coming from him, stung deeply. When you did talk to him, it was like speaking to a machine, one that repeated the same, emotionless phrases—"I’m sorry," "It’s my job," "You’re right." Yet nothing ever changed.  

“Why are you still awake, sweetie?” Kento asked as he stepped into the bedroom. His blonde hair was disheveled, his tie hanging loosely around his neck, and the first two buttons of his shirt undone. He lingered by the door, looking at you with mild curiosity—you were usually asleep by now.  

You set the novel you’d been reading down on the nightstand and glanced up at him. “I was waiting for you.”  

Kento raised an eyebrow, still standing by the door. “Waiting for me? You should’ve gone to sleep. I told you I’d be late again.”  

You sighed, sitting up in bed, your patience already thin. “That’s the thing, Kento. You’re always late. Every day, you leave before I wake up and come back when I’m already asleep. I don’t even know what’s going on with you anymore.”  

He ran a hand through his messy hair, a small frown forming. “You know it’s work. We’ve talked about this.”   

“Yeah, we have,” you shot back, voice sharper than you intended. “But talking doesn’t change anything. I feel like I don’t even exist to you anymore. You don’t answer my texts, you don’t check in—it's like you’re a ghost in your own home.”  

Kento's gaze dropped, his hands slipping into his pockets as he stepped further into the room. “That’s not fair. I’m doing everything I can for us. My job—”  

“Your job,” you interrupted, your frustration bubbling over, “isn't an excuse to completely shut me out. I’m not just some background noise you can tune out when it’s convenient. I’m your girlfriend, Kento. We’re supposed to be a team, and I feel like I’m in this alone.”  

He exhaled deeply, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the conversation. “You know I love you. I’m sorry, I just... I don’t know how to balance it all.”  

“You always say that,” you muttered, fighting to keep your voice steady. “But nothing ever changes. What are we even doing if we don’t make time for each other?”  

There was a long pause, the room heavy with unspoken words. Kento’s jaw tightened, and when he finally spoke, his voice was low but firm. “I don’t know what you want me to say. This is how things are right now. I’m doing the best I can.”  

You looked at him, your heart aching. “I don’t need perfect, Kento. I just need you. And lately, it feels like I’ve lost you.”  

Kento’s face hardened, his calm demeanor cracking as he stepped further into the room. "What exactly do you want from me?" he snapped, his voice rising in frustration. "I’m breaking my back out there every day for us, and all you do is sit here and complain about how I’m not around enough!"  

Your heart pounded in your chest, anger bubbling up. “Complain? Complain? You don’t get it, do you? I’m not asking for much—just for you to act like you care, to show me that I still matter!”  

His eyes narrowed. "You matter? You think I’m out there working insane hours because you don’t matter? This is what I’m talking about—you’re never satisfied!" His voice was sharper than you’d ever heard, each word like a blade. “I can’t be everything for you when I’m doing everything for you!”  

You stood up from the bed, your hands trembling as your voice broke. "And I didn’t ask you to do all of this at the cost of our relationship, Kento! I’m tired of feeling like I’m talking to a wall, like you’ve already checked out of us!"  

"Jesus Christ," Kento muttered under his breath, his fists clenching at his sides. "Can you just—" He suddenly stepped forward, his presence towering over you. His voice dropped, cold and cutting, he raised his hand and aggressively, but not in a hurtful way, he squeezed your cheeks. "Just shut your fucking mouth."  

The words hit you like a slap, and for a moment, you froze, stunned by his outburst. Before you could respond, he closed the distance between you in one swift movement, pulling your face with his hand and crashing his lips against yours in an aggressive, forceful kiss.  

His hand left your cheek, now both hands are sliding behind your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled you even closer, deepening the kiss. There was a desperate edge to the way held you, like he was trying to communicate something he couldn't put into words. His lips were demanding, a raw intensity that stole your breath.   

At first, you were too shocked to respond, but the heat between you grew undeniable, igniting something primal in the pit of your stomach. Slowly, your body responded on its own - your hands finding their way to his chest, feeling the tension beneath your fingertips. His kiss softened, shifting from anger to something more fervent, almost pleading. You could feel his heart pounding, his breath shaky as if he'd lost control for a moment and didn't know how to find it again.  

Your lips moved together now with more rhythm, the urgency still there but tempered by something deeper, more vulnerable. His thumb brushed over your jaw; a surprisingly gentle touch that made your knees feel weak.   

You leaned into him, letting the kiss consume you both, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you. The world seemed to blur around you as the kiss deepened, his body pressing against yours, grounding you in the intensity of the moment.   

The anger that had been in his kiss moments ago was now replaced with something else desire, maybe. Or perhaps even an apology, though no words were spoken. Finally, when you both broke apart, gasping for air, his forehead rested against yours. The tension between you crackled in the air, but the anger had dissipated, leaving something raw and real behind. You could still taste the kiss on your lips, the weight of his emotions lingering in the space between you.  

Your heart raced, torn between anger and the raw intensity of his touch. He finally spoke, his breath hot against your face as his eyes bore into yours. “Kindly, shut up, darling,” he whispered, his voice laced with both anger and something deeper, something almost desperate.  

He didn’t wait for you to speak – he just told you to shut up after all; his hands grabbed your hips, and they traveled under your pajama pants, his fingers digging into your skin.  He guided your body closer to the bed – his breath was unsteady, just like yours “Shit-” he groaned in a low husky voice. He pushed you down on the bed, your body slightly jumping from the bounciness of the mattress – you gasp, you were mad at him, but your pussy apparently wasn’t, your clit was already on fire with just one fierce full kiss, and the girl wanted more than just a kiss, shit – you could already feel your heart beating in between your legs.   

Kento didn’t waste time and got on top of you, his knees trapping you beneath him, his hands next to your head, before he got closer, he looked you up and down – God, you looked so good in your pajamas. He leans down, his hot breath hitting your neck, one of his hands leaves the spot next to your head and moves under your shirt, traveling up and down your stomach; his lips meet your body again, and he leaves soft wet kisses in your neck as he hums. They’re low sexy hums, the sound of his voice almost makes your ears orgasm if they could. “Kento...” you softly huff his name.   

“Shh, darling,” he says against your neck, his breath tickling your skin, your body shivers and you can feel your panties slowly getting soaked. He kisses your neck again “I’m sorry sweetie-” he whispers in between the wet kisses. The hand on your stomach travels further up, and he takes hold of your boob and squeezes it, your nipple grinds in the middle of his fingers, and you gasp - “I didn't mean to be rude to you, I’m just tired.” he says before kissing your temple. The sound of your gasp and your heavy breathing, the feeling of your boob under his hand and your hard nipple between his fingers makes something inside of him grow – and in his pants too.   

He pulls away and once again, takes a good look at you, his gaze is full of hunger and desire, his right hand, the one that wasn’t touching your boob, leaves the side of your head and pulls your shirt up to your neck, exposing your naked torso and your hard nipples. His gaze drops from your face to the hand squeezing your tit, his other hand now traces the side of your stomach, and his fingertips gently brush your skin – it tickles, and you can't help but contract your body at his touch and let soft sounds escape your lips.   

“Let me show you how much I care, sweetheart," without a warning he gets closer and takes one of your nipples to his mouth – as instinct your hands that were grasping on the bed clothing, now grab the hair in the back of his head pulling him closer – he groans, the sound is muffled.  

He nibbles your hard nipple, his tongue contours the firm tip leaving a trail of saliva all over your breast, the hand on your stomach takes hold of your other tit, and he squeezes it and holds it firmly – you have to bite back a moan. He starts sucking on your nipple like his life depended on it. The only sounds in the room were his muffled groans, your soft moans, and the wet sound his mouth was making – the sound of the friction of his mouth sucking your peak was music to your ears. But he couldn’t leave your other boob untended, so he went from one to the other, a line of saliva following from one nipple to the other.  

While he starts working on your boob, one of his hands slides under your pants, and his finger teases your wet pussy through the fabric of your soaked undies. “Let me apologize to you~” he whispers. Your breath catches and before you know it his hand slides under your panties, his fingertips start playing around with your wetness, and they slide between your folds, your labia hugs his fingers “Sweetie you’re so wet, I didn’t mean to make your cute little cunt cry with my harsh words” he muttered, his hot breath against your areola.   

You bite your lower lip as you suck up the moan you were about to let go, your fingers interwinding with his hair even more.  

His middle finger starts sliding up and down your pussy, adding more sound to already wet noises coming from his mouth and tongue on your tits. After teasing you enough, he slowly slides his finger inside you as his thumb caresses your clit in soft circles “Oh, Kento~” he chuckled at your little moan as his tongue played with your nipple, his teeth brushing against it.   

The tent in his pants was big and tight, so tight that the zipper on his pants is screaming for help – he keeps his focus on you, on the way your vagina feels around his finger and how your wet clitoris contracted under his thumb, he presses the finger harder against you, in response, you squeeze your legs at his touch and trap his hand in between your thighs. He chuckles again and pulls away from you. Your legs loosen again.   

He makes eye contact as he pulls your pants down. The sight of you like that drives him insane, a small smile forms at the corner of his lips, and he takes a deep breath as he starts to unbutton and unzip his pants – his gaze never leaves your eyes, even when he pulls his cock out. His cock is so hard that slaps his stomach. Your eyes travel to his member – God, you really want his fat dick inside of you more than anything.   

Nanami holds his big balls with one hand and strokes his thick length with the other, the precum helps his strokes become smoother “Shit-” the word escapes his lips. He lets go of his members and gets down so he can kiss your neck again.   

“Can I fuck you? Let me fuck you, sweetheart. Please let me fuck you, baby.” he pleads as he gently bites your earlobe. “Please... let me show how sorry I am.” his tongue licks your ear in and out.  

“Please... fuck me, Kento” you beg. He doesn't waste any time in positioning himself between your legs, he pulls your thighs closer to him, the way he grabbed them was aggressive and a little painful – you like that. He strokes his dick again and slaps it on your wet panties, teasing you through the fabric. In other circumstances he would’ve taken his time with teasing you like that – sliding his tip up and down your soggy underwear, grinding you before he finally gets inside of you. But, right now, he didn’t have time, so with his wet fingers he slid your panties to the side and slowly made his way in. “You’re so tight and wet, sweetie. Fuck-” he groans.   

He places his hands next to your head and starts slowly thrusting you, his balls hitting you in the process and making a sloppy noise.   

Your hands move to his back, gripping the fabric of his blue button-up shirt. Your moans start coming out louder and with more frequency. The way his cock fills you up makes you ecstatic.   

His thrusts become faster, harder. “I’m so sorry sweetie.” he gulps and buries his face on your neck again, taking in your scent. “You were right- your pretty kitty feels so good, baby” he bites your neck.   

With each thrust you cry out a moan against his shoulder, with each thrust the loose ends of his jacket brush against your belly, with each thrust he kisses your neck or bites it, with each thrust he groans near your ear and his hot breath sends shivers down your spine, with each thrust his balls slap your skin, with each thrust your pussy get tighter around his fat big cock, with each thrust his movements become sloppier, the wet sounds louder – your back arched, your body grinding against his, the fire on your clit burning, the electricity in your body growing and your eyes rolling to the back of your head.  

“Do you forgive me?” he asks, his voice a low growl against your soft skin.  

“Yes- I forgive you, Kento” you cry out, and finally, your whole body shakes underneath him, at the same time all of your four senses come out more alive than ever you also lose them. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart” he apologizes, because he’s not stopping even if you're too sensitive.   

When your orgasm is over your body is so sensitive that his touch hurts. But soon enough he fills you up with his cum “Oh- that’s it, sweetheart, take every drop of my cum” he growls loudly. His thrusts become slower until he finally stops and, still inside you he collapses on top of you. The moans suddenly stop and the only sounds are your heavy breathing.   

“I love you so much, sweetie” he mutters.  

As you start to play with his hair you mumble “I love you too”   

“God... I missed you so much – I missed this so much”   

You sigh “Me too”  

Gently he pulls away and sits up in front of you, his dick leaving your cunt.   

He looks down at your pussy and watches his cum dripping down your pussy. With his fingers he starts pulling the hot liquid back inside of you – you gasp again.   

“Kento....”  

“Shh, this is my apology gift for you. Now take it, darling.” 

This was my first time writing smut like this! So please bear with me!!! Tips are accepted!

Masterlist

[sqgeism]

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 | various blue lock boys x gender neutral reader

love mail — bllk guys as reverse romance tropes :P mostly stupid unserious (and probably ooc) fluff :] the multifandom is really kicking in cus i don't remember ever doing anime for this account... hi bllk fandom

SEISHIRO NAGI - TOO MANY 'BEDS'

sleeping over at nagi's for the first time made you nervous, even if you two have already been together for a while - the idea of possibly sharing a bed made you a little anxious.

that fear was quickly squashed as you see nagi had... pillows everywhere. not just like couches or chairs, spots on the floor and counters had them too. anywhere is a bed if nagi tries hard enough.

you eventually fall asleep on his bed just because he insists it's the nicest place, and he actually wants you to enjoy the night while he takes the couch. doesn't really matter in the end, you wake up with him cuddling you and a pre-made excuse on hand that he got tired of the couch, and wanted to be comfortable too. (cuddle with you)

MIKAGE REO - 'KIDNAPPING' A 'MAFIA BOSS' (random rich guy)

you don't know how you've gotten here. well, you were pretty sure you were dragging your best friend by the wrist - and maybe your hand slipped in a crowd, and you grabbed the first wrist you made contact with. okay, so maybe it's your fault- but come on! how were you supposed to know? (look behind you)

reo blinks. the only reason he let it go this far was that he thought you were cute, assumed this was some elaborate plan to get him alone and ask for his number, but the dumbfounded (and slowly turning to panic) expression on your face was saying otherwise.

he pats your shoulder, his other hand digs through his pocket and he looks at you. he's smiling, for some odd reason. for a guy that was dragged around by a stranger, he was calm. did he just wink at you??? "call me." he says smugly as he hands you a business card and walks away. (he starts spam calling nagi about how stupid he must've looked and probably should've asked for your name first or anything else)

KAISER MICHAEL - DIVORCE OF CONVENIENCE

you and kaiser lowkey were just better off as friends. yes, he cared about you, but wasn't able to do anything more romantically. figured divorcing but staying close was the best option, and it was. you and him were too different, had different life plans, likes, dislikes, room temperatures.. that was always an issue with kaiser. (he always slept in a room that was awfully warm, you didn't like it 💔) even with the divorce though, you two are still close. nothing can change how kaiser feels about you in regards of being the best person in his life.

ITOSHI SAE - TRUE HATES KISS

shidou hit you in the face with a ball. why it was becoming sae's problem was beyond him, but you weren't waking up and the others were beginning to panic. (for some odd reason no one thought to bring you to a clinic or something)

you and sae have always hated each other, grumbling profanities about skills in blue lock, appearance, or anything alike. he remembers something you said once; "kissing you and getting punched in the face would probably be the same thing." a random thought, and honestly really stupid now that sae thinks about it, but it would be funny.

nobody questions it when sae walks up to you seated against one of the bleachers barriers, unconscious and still. then, he kneels down infront of you and presses his lips against yours. it isn't even a long kiss, it was a peck at most.

you gasp for air dramatically and the others jump, while rubbing your lips—you frown—noticing sae's deadpan stare and a weirdly familiar taste of strawberry. "ugh, strawberry?! gross." "you know my chapstick??"

ITOSHI RIN - DATING YOUR 'ENEMIES' SIBLING

sae pissed you off to a great degree. because your brother was yoichi, and you just hated the guy for being good. yoichi is your twin, after all. whoever that guy trashtalks or is against, you hate them too.

and when he introduced you to rin, it kind of didn't click to you that he and sae were related, you were just enamored with how pretty he was that you failed to realize they shared the same last name.

surprise surprise... when you two started dating and getting real close, you come to notice his baby photos have an extra person.. the same ugly face and pink hair you've been hating on. after initial shock, you decide that your love for rin is stronger than your hatred for sae.

it gets worse when rin tells you about his history with his brother. :p

BACHIRA MEGURU - TOO HOT TO CUDDLE

that doesn't stop bachira.

he's got you wrapped around his strong arms and legs and even if you whine, he isn't letting go. he hasn't had freetime ever since he entered the bluelock program and a little bit of heat is NOT stopping him from being with you.

he makes you a nice, cold bath in the morning though </3 it's his apology, please forgive him.

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE - NO ONE IS CONVINCED YOU'RE DATING

fake dating a model for convenience is overrated! kunigami IS dating one but no one believes it. he talks about you all the time, has you on his ig posts (but unfortunately no photos together 🥀), stuff like that.. but no one believes him. some people think he's a fan, which.. no, he is not. he's your boyfriend AND a fan, get it right.

and that's the funny thing. you do the same, have him on your posts, talk about him often, but because your worlds and fans are so different.. they kind of don't believe it. you two are never seen together due to busy schedules, so everyone thinks it's some kind of elaborate joke. it's really odd.

he had to post you, asleep on top of him, in his football jersey with his hands in your hair to prove it.. you're surprised at such a BLUNT hard launch but he had to prove to the people somehow

ISAGI YOICHI - LOVE AT FIRST HATE

b4 you and your boyfriend were lovers, you two HAAATED each other. this started back in middle school, you were playing volleyball and he was playing soccer.. somehow, your volleyball and his soccerball slipped from your controls and towards each other.

"oh, here." you both say at the same time. and while you serve his soccer ball, he kicks your volleyball.

you both took that to great offense for some reason.

then you two hated each other, spouting nonsense that either one would never make it to the big leagues.

now your names are on billboards and top players of your respective sport. out of spite, and personal motivations.. personal motivation being spite.

meeting again by coincidence in some big celebration for sports prodigies, he says he's surprised you made it this far, you bite back with an insult of the same caliber.

you two snuck out to make out or something :p

[ooooo-mcyt]

Grian is a character who has been immensely isolated, I think.

From the start of Third Life, Grian's deal with Scar immediately separated him from the rest of the server in a way that was always really palpable for me. You can feel the strings being cut between Grian and the rest of the server, especially the ones he'd formed bonds with before the deal with Scar, the longer he's with Scar. Of course, Grian isn't entirely alone, he has Scar, after all. But there's a gap there, isn't there? It's inherent to their deal. Sure, Scar didn't really actively use their deal often, but there's distance in subservience, even if that subservience was mostly theoretical. Which isn't even mentioning the gap in trust. Grian didn't trust Scar (nor should he have, scar did betray him, even if scar backtracked after the fact), and he didn't let Scar trust him either (grian was always talking about leaving, after all. he might have done it, if he'd lost his first life earlier, but by the time he did i don't think he thought there was anywhere for him to go). Grian was cut off from the rest of the server, and there was always a gap between him and his teammate no matter how much they may have grown to care about each other.

In Last Life, Grian had a large team to start, but he wasn't much less isolated. The loyalties within The Southlands were flaky at best, and they were honestly doomed from the start by the gimmicks of the season. Between the Boogeyman and the unique rule mandating red names leave their alliances, trust was just harder to build during Last Life than in most seasons, and most of the bonds Grian may have built were cut through the first time he turned red. In the end, Grian killed two of his former teammates, watched another die, and just drifted away from the last one, because the alliance was never built to last. Honestly maybe it was never a 'real team' to begin with, in terms of solid loyalties. The closest I'd say Grian actually had to a solid companion was actually Joel, but even then, it was off and on with the fluctuating lives, and was technically always built on convenience. That's a gap that's hard to bridge.

Grian started Double Life with high hopes. He seemed to find the idea of soulmates exciting, even romantic, in a lot of ways, and I think you can really feel how much he liked the concept in his first episode. But it's not what he imagined it would be, clearly. I think the biggest issue was how disinterested Scar seemed in soulmates. The universe tied Grian to someone and they'd prefer an allay or panda to him. Grian didn't feel seen or heard by Scar, Grian didn't feel like Scar even wanted him at all, hell, one of the first thing Scar does after finding out they're soulmates is imply he doesn't want to live with Grian. So Grian goes to BigB, who he likes, and who he felt wanted by in his first episode. But the societal expectation to stay with their soulmates made it hard, added a wall between them that made it hard to fully feel like Grian had someone. Grian eventually killed BigB- he didn't mean to, not really, and he was distraught, feeling guilty and alone to a painful degree.

Then there's Limited Life. Grian had a solid team in Jimmy and Joel, and they worked well together, sticking as a loyal team until the end. But Grian expressed, on a number of occasions, feeling almost like..a third wheel? He was the last person to join the team, and the least integrated into the 'bad boy' persona (sure, grian still joined in the first episode, they were a well established team, but 'bad boys' was joel and jimmy's bit, and grian was brought into it as an afterthought because he was there and didn't have a team). It's not like Jimmy and Joel excluded Grian, but he couldn't have missed the way they both always seemed to hold each other closer than they did him. And then Jimmy and Joel died, and Grian was alone. He tried to join up with other teams, but it was late game, and he was never a real member of the team, just the stray they took in out of convenience, or maybe pity.

Secret Life was the only time Grian didn't even have anything he could pretend was a real solid team in the beginning. Grian spent several episodes completely alone, and he didn't handle it well, isolation weighing on him, making him a bit erratic and a bit desperate. Grian tried to coax Scar into an alliance, but Scar never took the bait (a pattern with them in some ways). Grian practically clung to Joel when his task bound them together, no matter how clear Joel made it that Grian wasn't wanted. Eventually Grian practically begged to join Cleo and Etho, trying to convince them even after they'd agreed, like Grian couldn't fathom being welcome anywhere, like he expected to have to convince them he was worth tolerating. And..roomies were nice, maybe the most well integrated team Grian's had, though I think the fact that they formed so late relative to typical life series alliances still added a layer of distance, because Grian can never just feel really and truly like he's welcome and belongs anywhere.

Wild Life was another good-ish attempt. Grian got a day one alliance with Skizz and Mumbo, and it was solid enough. But from the beginning, there were cracks. Mumbo specifically held this mixture of resentment and clinginess toward Grian. He accused Grian of 'cheating' when Grian left to collect things, he personally holds Grian accountable for almost every bad thing that happens to them because of wild cards, he accuses Grian a few times of manipulating the wild cards while they're active in ways that hurt them (like getting upset at grian for rerolling food when it was actually on a timer), he asked Grian to give him and Skizz lives and was suspicious when Grian didn't, he told Grian at one point that Grian "doesn't need friends", just Mumbo, when Grian stops to talk to Gem and Joel. There was a wall between Grian and Mumbo from the start that lasted pretty much the whole time. Skizz, on the other hand, was great, comparatively. But he lost lives quickly, and Grian rapidly started feeling like Skizz was on his way out. In the end Grian outlived them both (and then was blamed for their deaths when it literally wasn't his fault). Grian attached himself to Joel and Gem, and they accepted him, but again, it was late game. They were a team, and Grian was the vaguely tolerated growth attached to them.

Over and over, in every season, there's some distance or wall between Grian and his team (usually not actually his fault), and often he loses what little companionship he does have, forced to chase after another team that can never do anything more than tolerate him because he's an outsider they're taking in late game. Grian has been so isolated in the Life Series, and that's absolutely tragic, because Grian is such a social person who badly wants a connection, almost desperately wants to be tied to someone (whether by his own efforts or by fate, he'll let the universe tie him to someone with no agency in it and he'll be happy for it, as long as they want him) who actually fully likes and wants him and will stay with him long term.

I'm just so insane about Life Series Grian.

[brayneworms]

c'mon, baby, you're my best fix | sampo koski

kinktober day three: dry humping

word count: 2.4k

content: dry humping, gender-neutral reader, silvermane guard!reader, hatesex elements, sex as stress relief, semi-public (alleyway), reader has been drinking but isn't implied to be intoxicated, dom!reader + sub!sampo (but he's implied to be a switch), elements of sadism + masochism, degradation, coming untouched.

♪ love in a trashcan - the ravenettes.

kinktober mlist | regular mlist

The biggest fucking lie anyone had told, ever, had come out of Sampo Koski's mouth that afternoon:

C'mooon. I can be good.

You know for a fact that this is a lie, because through no will of your own you have become quite well-acquainted with Sampo Koski, and if there's one thing you're sure of is that he has a physical aversion to doing what he's told.

He had been told, for example, the following many times: Leave me alone, Koski. You're a fucking creep, Koski. Stop conveniently walking by my workplace the very minute I finish my shift, Koski. No, you can't buy me a drink, Koski.

And yet he shows up anyway, like a bad penny, like a dog someone hadn't reprimanded harshly enough and had come sniffing around looking for scraps. Maybe you're too nice, but you sort of doubt it. You think it's more likely that Sampo likes when you talk down to him, which is a whole other can of worms that you're not remotely interested in opening.

"I get the feeling you're mad at me," comes that familiar simpering voice, sliding home into the booth opposite you. Sampo slumps forwards against the table with his face squished against his open palm, grinning that ever-present crescent-moon smile. Cut-jade eyes glimmer out at you through the half-light of the tavern. They always seem to be glittering, despite the absence of any real light. "It's this nagging feeling!" he continues gleefully, even when you glare at him. "This annoying but rather persistent voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that when you tell me to leave you alone, you actually mean it!" He gives a hearty laugh, toying with his flask of ale, and peers up at you through his stupidly thick lashes. "Still, I know it can't be true, considering what happened the other night."

Stupid alcohol. Stupid Sampo. Stupid, stupid you.

One day of weakness. Being a Silvermane Guard was never exactly easy work, but most days tended to be less harrowing than the one you'd had. Every lead you'd chased had slipped through your fingers, and your shift had ended abruptly when the brother of a victim you were seeking justice for had elbowed you to the ground in frustration and spat on you. Your superior wrestled him off you and told you to clock off early.

You supposed she was being kind, but it just made you feel more useless than ever. Boiling with anger and with nowhere to put it, you stormed to the nearest tavern with the intention of drowning your sorrows. Two cups of mead in, you'd gone outside to clear your head, and there he had been, lurking around like an alley cat, sharp eyes lingering on everyone who walked past. No doubt looking for his next easy target. You clear your throat pointedly, and he spins around. Surprise quickly melts into familiar delight.

"Captain, my Captain!" he trills, slinking over as he was wont to slink everywhere.

"Not a captain," you remind him for the fortieth time. "Why are you loitering around here, Koski?"

An affronted hand to his chest, as though clutching imaginary pearls. "Oh! Did they outlaw that, too? Going to cuff me and sling me in jail, hm?"

"Don't fuckin' tempt me," you grumble, tipping your head back against the wall of the tavern. "Can you hurry up and commit a crime in front of me, or something?"

Sampo grins. "Rough day?"

"You're not helping," you snip back, slightly unfairly. He isn't really doing anything more than hanging around being irritating. He slinks closer, slinks like he always does, like it's the only way he knows how to move. Oozing around like a toxic slime, draping himself against the wall just in front of you, arm braced against the brick behind your head.

"I could, though."

His forwardness is hardly a surprise. There isn't any danger of missing his meaning in the sleepy droop of his eyes, the lazy smile curling at his lips. Sampo is an incurable flirt to each and everyone—the thing is that most of the time it's part of the con. You know a few Silvermane Guards who have fallen into his charm and his bed that cut him a lot of slack where they really, really shouldn't.

Sampo Koski has friends everywhere, and that's what makes him so dangerous.

You know this. You have done for a while, especially because he'd been trying to worm his way into your bed for about as long as you'd known him. You resent the thought of him having any sort of power over you, though. There's no denying that he's attractive, and you've often wondered if he would be able to put his money where his mouth is, for lack of a better phrase. But handing over that amount of control to someone like Koski is just incurably stupid.

Because then you're trapped. Every time he'd catch your eye afterwards, they'd glimmer, and you'd know he was remembering your moment of weakness, inviting you to remember it too. Every time his eyes would rake down your body you'd know he'd be recalling when he'd seen it devoid of clothing, sweating, trembling. Every time he'd look at you, he'd know he'd already won.

Really, there's a very simple solution. Don't let him win.

"I bet," you breathe, meeting his eyes for once. You can see them widen slightly, his lips part in surprise before he makes a recovery from this most minuscule slip of his mask.

"Ohoho?" He lets out an irritating little laugh. "Gosh. Must have been a really rough day."

"I'd prefer it to get rougher."

Sampo's mouth splits into a wide grin, one almost fanatical in nature. "I should've pegged you as the type!" he gushes. "Why would anyone be nonsensical enough to join the Silvermane Guards unless they secretly enjoyed a little pain? Between you and me, Captain, I don't mind it either."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" you sigh. "Only a real masochist would so frequently try to get under my skin."

His lashes flutter. "I'm trying to get under much more than that, Captain."

You grab him by the front of his shirt and drag him down the alley beside the tavern. In the dusk light, the two of you slip into the shadows almost immediately, and you follow the narrow path down to the back of the tavern, where the noise of the street outside is quietened to a whisper. Sampo giggles behind you.

"What an exhibitionist you are," he says slyly. "I should've expected it from you, I guess. I guess—"

You plant two hands on his chest, shoving him back into the brick wall, and kiss him. His words flutter to a halt and he stifles a yelp of surprise against your mouth before his eyes squinch shut. His hands aren't shy, flying up to grip your waist, and you press yourself flush against him. He makes a whimpery noise into your mouth as your knee slots itself between his legs, pushing up. He runs hot, you can feel it even through his clothes, and it's a welcome immersion from the perpetual algidity of Belobog.

He grunts as he pulls away, and you take in the slightly glazed look in his eyes and the high colour in his cheeks with a tinge of gratification. "We don't have an awful lot of time," he says pseudo-apologetically. His hands fly to his belt, fingers working nimbly at the buckle. "I'm due somewhere in twenty—"

His voice stammers to a halt when your hand clamps down over his, stilling his fingers. Sampo blinks up at you, puzzled; the penny hasn't yet dropped, you suppose, even as you patiently pry his fingers away from his belt.

"What are you doing?" you ask bluntly. Sampo's lips part and he looks at you as though you're quite delusional.

"Ah... ahem?" He laughs nervously. "Is that a trick question?"

"No," you answer easily. "What are you doing?" Off his bewildered look—which you take the time to enjoy, considering how little you get to see anything but smug ostentation on his face—you shrug. "Oh, I see. That's what you thought this was? I take you into some... secluded little alley, and I get you off?"

Sampo's mouth drops open. "I—I would've—"

"Let's not delude ourselves," you interrupt, and push your knee up between his thighs again. He makes a high, shaky noise in the back of his throat, tipping his head back against the brick wall. "D'you really think you've earned that?"

"Hm?" Sampo swallows hard, the juts in his throat flexing. "I—"

"All you do is hang around bothering me," you hiss. "And you think... what, one well-timed innuendo is all it took for me to change my mind? If you want to get off, then get off." Your knee slides against him, the stiffening in his trousers, and he makes a rather pathetic noise.

"You're not serious," he gasps, cheeks flushed scarlet. His sleepy eyes are wider than you've ever seen them and trained frantically on you. "Come on, Captain, you can't mean that. W-what would you get out of it, even?" He tries for a smirk. "I promise, if you let the reliable Sampo get his hands on you, you won't regret—mmfph?"

Your fingers slip under the stupid windows flaring over his hips, gliding over the skin there. He runs so warm, and it's ridiculous considering Belobog's perpetual winter, as you curl your fingernails into the skin of the small of his back 'till it dimples and drag his hips painstakingly over the flat of your thigh.

This time, sweet as music, he doesn't talk. His mouth drops open and he lets out a shivering moan, gloved hands scrabbling on the brick wall behind him. "You really are serious," he says in disbelief even as his hips roll absently against your leg. A strained laugh escapes him as—finally—a painfully scarlet flush starts bleeding into his cheekbones. "I always knew you Silvermanes were crazy."

"Mm. Not all of them," you say quietly. "But I am. I'm pretty crazy."

Sampo shudders, one that worms its way slowly through his whole body, and then he drops his head against your shoulder. He smells nice, like smoke and mint, his hair soft as it brushes your skin. His hips move languidly against you, stuttering occasionally, unsure—until you flex the muscle of your thigh against him. A whimper breaks free, high and whiny like shattered glass.

"You're so cruel," he groans even as his body drags against your leg. You underestimated how overwhelming it would be; his breath in the hollow of your neck makes the skin there hot and clammy, and when he moans it goes right in your ear. You're certain he's exaggerating to get your resolve to weaken. Nobody actually sounds like that.

And you can feel him, hard and hot as a brand, pushing up against your leg. You shudder almost imperceptibly, because yes, yeah, you're wondering how he would feel inside you, but you can't—not tonight, you promise yourself as your teeth grit. Tonight isn't about that.

It's about winning.

"Please," Sampo grits out, turning his head so you can see slices of his moonstone eyes through the sweaty locks of hair. "I—nngh, oh—I want inside of you."

"Take it or leave it, Koski," you say, a bit too breathlessly for your liking. He shivers with a sulky noise, and the whole time, even as he talks his hips are rolling against your leg. He picks up speed as sweat starts rolling down his skin, as his hands scrabble over the brick and then fly out to grab your waist and haul you closer. His strength is ridiculous—but so is yours. You let yourself be pulled, feeling his mouth and teeth against your ear, the breathy noises spilled across your jaw.

"Oh—please, I'm close." His eyes blink up at you, wet and deceptively innocent. The look on his face is almost heartwrending. "I need you, anything—your hand, mouth, anything, I don't care, please—"

"You're going to cum in your pants against my leg like the dog you are," you spit, your hand fisting in the hair at the nape of his neck. He yelps, the flush on his cheeks darkening, eyes fluttering shut. "And you're gonna be grateful you even got that much."

Sampo moans, broken and high; his hips stutter against your leg as his hands curl into your waist so hard you're sure they'll leave bruises. But under the pleasure is a certain frustration, a sobbing sound as he cums and it sets your blood alight. You shiver with the delight of it.

The seconds that follow feel like victory.

Sampo peels away from you, stumbling back against the brick wall behind him. He's scarlet all the way down to his chest, his mouth agape and eyes wide and glittering with unshed tears as he uncomfortably adjusts his pants. They're dark and it's night, so he can probably get away with them until he gets the chance to go home and change, but the thought of him walking around in soiled underwear thrills you.

You probably are actually crazy. Sampo's annoying, but he's quite perceptive.

He clears his throat, shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "Well. Erm. That was..." He swallows. "The great Sampo really got himself in a rather sticky situation this time, didn't I?"

"Poor choice of words," you supply, and he winces, flushing harder.

He clears his throat. "Like I said, I, erm, have somewhere to be. Nice catching up, though." He puts two fingers to his temple and flicks them into the air in a mock salute. You watch as he spins lazily on his heel, rolling his shoulders as he starts his walk back down the alleyway.

"By the way," he added, pausing a few feet away. "I certainly hope that wasn't your way of trying to dissuade me." Your eyebrows raise, and he grins; his canines are sharp, and you can see them flash when his lips peel back. "Well, be serious: once you feed a starving dog, it doesn't leave you alone, does it? It comes back for more. Maybe it even follows you home."

He leaves you with that, one last lingering look and an implication that has you burning more than anything that transpired in the last ten minutes.

You get the altogether not unpleasant feeling that this will be far from the last you see of Sampo Koski.

[waywardwhispersblaze]

about Vi's ending

So, I get that a lot of people are unsatisfied with Vi's story arc in Arcane. I feel unsatisfied too. Here are some of my reasons. I wrote this as a response to another post initially, but I wanted to elaborate a little bit more.

So we know that the question the writers had for Vi was "what would happen if Vi had no one left to protect?"

"she would fall in love" is a lovely answer. I don't hate it, but it does feel like the bare minimum they could come up with... and even that had to be stripped for time. For instance, what does she want to do for a living?

That's not a random question. Her lore in the game tells us that she ends up working as an enforcer. Arcane makes it difficult for her at the beginning (you know, the enforcers-killed-my-parents thing), but we all expect that it's coming regardless.

I know a lot of people here never liked the idea of Vi becoming an enforcer. Not me. Give me Enforcer!Vi! Just make it a story, instead of skipping over it.

They had her join the enforcers in s2 act I for all the wrong reasons (guilt + fear of losing Caitlyn + thinking violence is the answer to her problems), which is not a bad thing, that's expected at this point of the story. They did skip over her motivations and left a lot to read between the lines, and that's frustrating in itself but that's not the problem. My problem with it is that it doesn't go anywhere. How does she feel about working with them in the end? Now that she's no longer blinded by her rage towards the Chembarons and Jinx's actions? Is it really just for Caitlyn's sake? Is there room in there somewhere for wanting to be a protector to the city, like Grayson did, if she even cares about that at all? (it makes sense that she doesn't in Arcane, but what about in the future? she's still a protector at heart, even if she has no family left) If she does, how does she reconcile that with what the enforcers are to the Undercity, does she genuinely think she can do some good? I could answer some of these with "oh well, she does end up as Caitlyn's partner so I'm just gonna go with 'yes' for convenience". But I wish Arcane had answered this for me.

What about the enforcers, how do they feel about her? Do they respect her? How would she interact with them in the future? Her only friend there, Loris, died at the end of S2 (I'm annoyed about that. not mad, not sad. Just annoyed), so she's effectively alone.

I suppose the root of the problem is that I watched Arcane with the expectation that Vi would end up as a Piltover champion by the end of it. That's not an unreasonable expectation considering her lore, but I can accept that Arcane just wasn't about "ending" character stories or bringing them to their lore counterpart. That's fair. Even within the story of Arcane though, where she ends up isn't fully satisfying. She's physically in Piltover, but mentally she's in a place where she doesn't really belong anywhere except with 1 (one) person, and we still have no idea what she wants to do with her life (outside of banging Caitlyn that is). Don't get me wrong, I love caitvi! I love what they did with them as a pair! But I have so many questions about Vi specifically that are unresolved.

Maybe that's the point. Arcane's ending is an open ending after all. But Caitlyn had a story arc outside of her relationship with her. Jinx had a story arc outside of her relationship with her. Even if their overall stories are not over, the Arcane story does leave them both in a place where they have grown from what they went through and even if we never see them again, we can feel like their story had a proper conclusion. Arcane doesn't leave Vi with a conclusion outside of her romance arc. Or to be fair, maybe it is a conclusion, just no one that I like / was hoping for. I sort of get that her not being able to grow was the point (to further Jinx's development. A lot of their scenes together were always more about Jinx's development and framed from Jinx's POV, which is a different complaint and an entirely different post). Not having agency at all was the point. But where does she go from there? Genuine question. Her character arc doesn't feel finished.

A lot of my frustrations would be soothed over if we had the certainty of having spin-offs. But 1) nothing is ever certain, 2) if something's coming, it's probably far in the future, 3) if and when it does come, there's no guarantee that Vi wouldn't be more than a background character.

Unfortunately, the general feeling I get from the writers' interviews is that they do feel like they really did get her where they wanted, so I'm not particularly hopeful that they have more stories to tell with her. Outside of being Caitlyn's partner that is.

(no, I don't think they "don't care about" or "hate" her character by the way. That's twisting their words beyond recognition)

So that's why I can't feel fully satisfied with Vi's story. I still love Arcane. I'm still looking forward to seeing more of the Runeterra universe. But as someone who really liked Vi's character from the start, I'm left with crumbs. Hints of what could be, but never the full picture, and more questions than answers. And that's disheartening, to be honest.

[ippilulu]

This version of Slipping Through My Fingers is so insanely Caleb-coded that it isn't even funny when I'm having a Crisis about it alone in my room anymore

Here are some of the lyrics that make me scream to myself silently every time they play because the feels cannot be contained anymore (I love his character SO much (and my poor friends have to listen to me info-dump about him every alternate day because I discover something new)):

Do I really see what's in her mind?

Each time I think I'm close to knowing

She keeps on growing

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table

Barely awake, I let precious time go by

Then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling

And a sense of guilt I can't deny

What happened to the wonderful adventures

The places I had planned for us to go?

Well, some of that we did, but most we didn't

And why, I never know

It's the fact that the person who grew up with you now feels that you have grown into something beyond them- and even though you know this, can feel it in your very bones (some of which aren't the same anymore), it hurts when they look at you like you're a stranger.

"I wonder... When did you turn into someone I hardly recognise?"

If they can't find you in the wreckage of a life you've created for yourself, then who can? Who would bother? You've spent your entire existence dedicated to one person only, and now they tell you that you've... killed the version of yourself that they knew?

How much must that hurt... Ugh just imagining it makes my heart squeeze.

This is not a MC-hate post btw. I love MC and she was totally justified in her reaction- hell, if I were in her shoes my reaction would be even worse.

It was a betrayal from her end as well. In a single moment, she lost the two people she had known the longest- in a world that seemed so unknown and turbulent, they were her constant. And as much as I love Caleb, both him and MC let their relationship develop in a way that always had her relying on him (she was already trying to reduce this back in the main story pre-explosion). And yeah, he liked it, but it must have led to a lot of issues later when he was gone. Dealing with all that in the midst of your grief... It hurts really bad. You have to deal with the sadness, of course, but also the unexpected anger that the person you'd leaned on had let you become this way- that you had let yourself become this way. Even if they never said it, you realise you'd become overly dependent on them- perhaps turning into a burden in a way. And then managing to figure it all on your own while managing everything else is a Task.

And after MC's handling everything (badly, I might add- homegirl was always throwing herself into situations), suddenly she meets him again. How happy must she have been- how angry she must have been. If he'd been alive all this time, why did he never contact her? Why did he let her suffer all this time alone?

And anger at herself, too. After all, who is she to demand he come back to her as soon as he was alright- when he was clearly dealing with things of his own. Wasn't this what she wanted? For him to live his own life?

But then why does it hurt so much? Where does she place all these messy emotions?

Of course they'd go to the most convenient target, the one who'd always had both arms open for whatever she had to give- her once childhood best friend, now Farspace Fleet Colonel, the one who despite everything even now, refused to tell her what was going on (bro pls just communicate 😭😭😭)- Caleb.

Ahem. Now back to Caleb 🧍‍♀️

Yeah, he's looked after her as he grew up, but he was still a kid too, just a few years older. He's made mistakes (like the time he locked her in the attic- which is the only one I remember off the top of my head now), he's messed up. Despite it, he's tried to make sure she always knew his heart behind all his actions, the one that convinced her that he loved her and would always be by her side no matter what.

And now for that person to tell you that that part of you (that still existed within you, according to you- after all it was such a big part of you that it might never die even if you tried) was gone, what did that make you? Who were you now, without your successful and all-encompassing devotion?

I also strongly believe Caleb must be suffering from atleast some memory loss effects from the Toring chip- I'm not sure what memories they could be, but something. So to imagine the fear he must keep buried deep within himself, as a self-appointed keeper of memory to be losing that very essence of yourself... It would scare the heck out of me, tbh.

And in a way, MC was telling him that those memories he'd treasured of their childhood together (of their past before, the one that she didn't remember), they didn't belong to him anymore- because he wasn't that Caleb anymore. It's like snatching the anchor off a ship, leaving it to drift off aimlessly for who knows how long.

I'm so so glad that they make up slowly, awkwardly after the events of the main story- both of them deserve it so much. Because both have changed, both have turned into someone the other doesn't recognise ("I feel like... I don't know how to take care of you anymore.") and now together, intentionally, with both hands and willing hearts- they can reach out to the other and meet them in the middle. They can learn anew. And this time, they'll make sure to never leave the other's side.

(Whether that's as romantic partners or platonic, is up to everyone's individual preferences. I just really love the way their relationship was written!!!)

Tldr; I just really love Caleb, man. Him and MC's relationship is so well-written, and they deserve some PEACE INFOLD PLEASE 😭😭😭

[ambernotember]

People Watching, Conan Gray Cut people out like tags on my clothing / I end up all alone, but I still keep hoping / I won't be scared to let someone know me / Life feels so monotone, but I still keep hoping

The Archer, Taylor Swift I've been the archer, I've been the prey / Who could ever leave me, darling / But who could stay?

Feels Like, Gracie Abrams We almost got away, we cut it close / The city's getting loud, if I choke / It's only 'cause I'm scared to be alone / Been trying to work it out, you should know

Afterglow, Taylor Swift Why'd I have to break what I love so much? / It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say / Hey, it's all me, in my head / I'm the one who burned us down / But it's not what I meant / Sorry that I hurt you

Is It Over Now?, Taylor Swift Let's fast forward to 300 awkward blind dates later / If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her / You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor

Labyrinth, Taylor Swift I'll be getting over you my whole life / You know how scared I am of elevators / Never trust it if it rises fast / It can't last / Uh oh, I'm falling in love

Alone Again, Alyssa Reid & P Reign 'Til now, I always got by on my own / I never really cared until I met you / And now it chills me to the bone / How do I get you alone

reckless driving, Lizzy McAlpine & Ben Kessler I don't love you like that, I'm a careful driver / And I tell you all the time to keep your eyes on the road / But you love me like that, you're a reckless driver / And one day it will kill us if I don't let go

Same Boat, Lizzy McAlpine But if there was ever a chance to tell you / That I think about you every single day / I don't know if I could take that chance

To The Mountains, Lizzy McAlpine I'm trying to let go / I think it could help being alone / And I'm trying not to let you make me cry / I've spilled too many tears / And I think I deserve to be alone

Love is Letting Go, Ashe & Diane Keaton You know I wanna hold you close / But sometimes love is letting go / The moon won't ever tell the sun that it can't rise / And if there's one thing that I know / Love is losing all control

okay, Avery Lynch & ROSIE I know each time / You feel this way / It's like the walls / Built to be strong / Can't keep you safe

Throw Me to the Wolves, Leah Chris I've come to the conclusion / That love is an illusion / And most of me is used but I allow it so I'm used to it / And I'm only ever wanted when it's convenient

Love Me for Me, Ruby Mac Let the mask fall off the shelf / Let the world see the real me / I want you to love me, love me / For who I truly am / Not the perfect picture painted / But the flaws in my hands

Stick Season, Noah Kahan So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad / That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad / No. I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh / You once called me "forever" now you still can't call me back

Northern Attitude, Noah Kahan If I get too close / And I'm not how you hoped / Forgive my northern attitude / Oh, I was raised out in the cold

How Come You Don't Want Me, Tegan and Sara I can't say that I'm sorry / For getting so ahead of myself / I can't say that I'm sorry / For loving you and hating myself / I had nothing to show you / I had nothing to hold you down / It's killing me to walk away

Lived in Heart, Rachel Spring Now I'm a lived in heart / I used to be an empty room / You fill me up / I'm all the way in love with you

The Art of Losing, American Hi-Fi Can't you see it's killing me / I'm my own worst enemy / Knock me down I'll keep on moving / It's the art of losing

invisible string, Taylor Swift And isn't it just so pretty to think / All along there was some / Invisible string / Tying you to me?

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark, Fall Out Boy I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see / That you're the antidote to everything except for me / Through a constellation of tears on your lashes / Burn everything you love then burn the ashes / In the end everything collides, my childhood / Spat back out the monster that you see

Why Am I Like This?, Orla Gartland Oh, it's like I'm looking down from the ceiling above / Never in the moment, never giving enough / Let's go out and shout the words we never said / I got my mistakes on loop inside my head / Inside my head

Cherry, Harry Styles I, I confess / I can tell that you are at your best / I'm selfish so I'm hating it / I noticed that / There's a piece of you in how I dress / Take it as a compliment

Volcano, Maisie Peters Oh, you got away with it / You crossed then burnt the bridge / Oh yeah, you did, and your friends said nothing / You pulled a lot of shit / I sat and bit my lip

Painkillers, Gracie Abrams I almost liked the way you fooled me / To make me feel like this would last forever / But twice a night, I'd wake up sweating / To sleep without you here would do me better

When I'm Older, Ashe Maybe when I'm six feet / Underneath the concrete / I'll know what it's like not to want you, yeah / Maybe when I'm older / Maybe when I'm older / I'll know what it's like not to love you

I Will Remember, Train Did you ever get drunk because of love / Did it put you in a funk when it was over / Did it pick you up high, knock you down low? / Did it make you wish hard that you didn't know / Are you still going hard 'cause I am / Better by far, because of them

Love and Memories, O.A.R. Didn't you / Love me faster than the devil / Run me straight into the ground / Drowning deep inside your water / Drowning deep inside your sound

I'll Never Get Over It, Sydney Rose 'Cause if you hated me, maybe then I'd hate you too / I'd brush it off, find someone new / I wouldn't want to wish the brown eyes to turn to blue / A color that complimented you

Undone, Nick Wilson How can I fall without falling off the edge / Cause I've seen how this all ends / And I can't do this to myself / I dive with my eyes closed

Bad Things Twice, Carly Rae Jepsen I had a vision I had to run away / Let's play this thing over / I wanna go back in time

Blush, Matt Nathanson Just between you and me / Part of me will always be in love / We're better off no doubt / What's it matter now?

If It's Time, Hayden Calnin To be honest it’s never the time / To be honest I’m terrified / A little moment in the back of my mind / So more distance / But I’m feeling it’s alright / If it’s time for leaving us behind

Somebody Loving You, Coleman Hell & La+ch Happiness is new to me / Try my best not to believe / All those lies I used to / But it takes time to get used to / Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody loving you

someday, Lexi Jayde How you think you know somebody / The only person you look for at a party / It's crazy how you're all I think about / Called you first before my friends / Told you all of my regrets / You're the only one I needed when it was 3 AM / It's crazy how I can't call you now

Hello Darling, Jake Scott Why are you still pretending you're fine? / Keep your feet moving, push it all aside / Darlin' just slow down, darlin' rest those eyes / Come let me hold you and make it alright

Time, NF That's when I look at you and tell you I'd be better alone / Just the pride talkin', isn't it? 'Cause both of us know / I'm the definition of "wreck" if you look into my soul

Light On, Maggie Rogers Oh, if you keep reachin' out / Then I'll keep coming back / And if you're gone for good / Then I'm okay with that / If you leave the light on / Then I'll leave the light on

The Bottom, Gracie Abrams 'Cause I'm no good / You could do better / You should walk out / It's now or never / I took the most that you could offer / I'm gonna drag you right down to the bottom

[linkspooky]

Hey. Long time follower here. Your metas, your discussions of "bad victims", your nuanced view of heroes and victims, your favoritism towards "losers"...not only did you heavily influence my own writing and my own favorites in different medias (I'm entirely blaming you for me being a Makima stan) but you helped through an extremely dark time in my life. I don't think that you just made me a better writer, you also sort of saved my life. I'll always be grateful for that.

There's something I want to ask. You answered to another ask that you don't regret reading MHA because focusing on what doesn't work about it made your writing stronger. Do you feel the same about Homestuck? Or about the more disappointing parts of Tokyo Ghoul (and, while we're being candid here, Avatar?).

Thank you for your compliments they're very encouraging to read.

At this point this blog is becoming the bad victim lovers support group where we all hug each other and cry over how MHA is treating all of its bad victims.

HOMESTUCK: Honestly, my main problem with Homestuck is that ACT 6 was so long and uneventful full of characters not doing anything that by the end of it the only character I was invested in was Vriska. ACT 6 also did go out of it's way to kill my enthusiasm for everything I liked in ACT 5, especially John Vriska. I've never seen a comic throw out all of its previous development that the audience was invested in and like everything that was foreshadowed - oh wait My Hero Academia. Unfortunately Vriska is an all-time-fave so I still write Homestuck Fanfic about her to this day. I used to like think the finale of Homestuck was one big "meh" but after years to reflect upon it, I do like Vriska's arc ending on a final note of Terezi searching for her in the void, possibly forever, and the ambiguity of whether they'll reunite.

TOKYO GHOUL: I remember being mad about Kaneki getting a happy ending that he didn't earn. Kaneki was a character that really frustrated me for a long time, but I came to realize that if you like remove Kaneki from his group of codependent enablers he's actually a really interesting character when he's alone. So he's a character I love to explore in fic, even if I disliked what they did with him in canon. Also, Tokyo Ghoul killed off its biggest victims Furuta and Rize in a really cruel way, but it didn't kill off every single victim so it just disappoints me instead of making me sick to my stomach like MHA does.

ATLA: I actually think the Avatar the Last Airbender ending is fine. Which like, isn't saying much because I think the Season 1 finale and Season 2 finales are some of the best things ever put to television. The worst sin that the ending does is number one lack of foreshadowing in earlier in the season and number two rushed plot points. Aang not wanting to kill the Fire Lord makes sense. I think the reason a lot of people criticize this and call it an ass pull is that it's not even BROUGHT UP until the finale. Vash the Stampede is pacifist and one of my favorite characters, but it's established from episode 1 that Vash is constantly up against people who want to kill him and he either has to run away or find a way to fight back nonlethally. Azula's insanity and mental instability could have been a thing, but it's not foreshadowed at all so all it ends up doing is conveniently nerf Azula for Zuko, and also being ableist. The worst problem is while there are epic fights it doesn't feel like an ending, because everyone's character arcs are 3/4ths of the way through. ESPECIALLY ZUKO's. Like people say Zuko is acting out of character in the comics, but I think Zuko is the only person in character in the comics because that's how Zuko without a proper end to his character arc would act. It really feels like they had plans for a fourth season that they didn't get, and their solution was to cram an entire season worth of development in everything post the eclipse on season 3. The fact that Azula is left as such a hanging thread is like proof of that, and the fact that Azula's last shot in the series is just her crying and screaming with like no follow up afterwards is something I've been bitter about for fourteen years.

I could write an entire post about how Zuko's redemption arc is unfinished though. It's like the same problem as Catra. I like both characters and I'm glad they got redeemed but they crammed in the entire redemption arc into 1/2 of the last season and that simply wasn't enough time.

[woodchipp]

Thank you for spelling out your character development, Aubrey! You really needed to because you didn't actually have it in the first place, but the game needs to pretend as if you did!

"I felt like everyone abandoned me... and abandoned MARI too..."

I'd like to note the way Aubrey phrases this line. Mari is tacked on at the end of the sentence as if she's an afterthought.

Considering how self-centered Aubrey has shown herself to be over the course of the game, it reads more as "Everyone abandoned me, goddammit! oh and there's that dead girl too ig"

It's very subtle and intricate writing when your characters rant about their foibles to the audience as if they're standing in a confessional.

"After SUNNY stopped coming to school..."

Which he did on a whim, apparently. Nowhere in the game is it stated or implied he was homeschooled or granted some special exemption.

Also... the writer... totally... isn't... overusing... ellipses...

"I just wanted to go through the photos, because... well... I guess I just wanted to see everyone happy again."

It always circles back to Aubrey and what she wants. It didn't occur to her to leave Basil's things alone since going through the album might bring up some painful memories for him. No, all that mattered is that she wanted to "see everyone happy again," even if that makes those same people miserable now.

Aubrey is an asshole.

"All of our memories together..."

Because the giant "BASIL'S MEMORIES" on the album's cover wasn't convincing enough for her, apparently.

I have already touched on this in other posts, but for the purposes of this one, I have to reiterate.

1) Aubrey's immediate reaction to a perceived slight was to basically disown her close friend of God knows how many years (even though she had no reason to blame him, nor did she let him explain himself) and make a conscious choice to start harassing him. Because that's what strong friendship is, isn't it?

2) She conveniently doesn't specify other "things like that" she called Basil, which implies she might have called him something way worse than "creep"

As you should.

You won't get to do anything about that, though, because the story is going to shift its focus to Sunny in a few minutes anyway.

Peak writing!

And now she's turned on the waterworks because the game's running short on time allotted to her "character arc", so we need to pity her as fast as possible.

I find it funny how the fact Aubrey nearly killed Basil back at their old hangout spot the day prior is not directly brought up or addressed by her at any point of her rant. Her sudden breakdown would have made more sense if it came after her admitting how guilty she actually feels about the accident because she crossed a line or something like that. Nothing of the sort happens, and all we ever get is a vague "What I've been doing is worse than what BASIL did"

BULLYING PEOPLE IS NOT A "MISTAKE". IT IS A DELIBERATE DECISION YOU MAKE.

FUCK YOU.

(also, Sunny taking a few steps back instead of trying to comfort his friend like Hero and Kel speaks more of his character than the game ever could)

"I'm going to acknowledge I'm a shitty friend, but you're not going to see me develop! What do you take me for? An important character?"

"sorry I didn't put my life on hold to keep you all from turning on each other because I'm this group's singular braincell, apparently :<"

Yes, they don't deserve an asshole like you as a friend.

Sunny and Aubrey are both friends no one deserves, actually. One is so unreliable he walked out on his bestie when said bestie was at his most vulnerable and the other harassed her friend for four years just because she assumed he wronged her

Hero's argument to convince Aubrey she does care about her friends after all omits the fact she stole one of her friends' property and then bullied said friend because of it.

Love that no one gives a shit about Basil in this game.

And you couldn't say this while you were talking to her in the church on Three Days Left because...?

>>"We should all be here for each other!" >>Sunny is due to move town the next day

fucking lmao

And that's it! Aubrey's redemption is official!

Except it literally took a single poorly-written rant. And a hug.

Because that's peak writing.

143/10 once-in-a-lifetime masterpiece would absolutely kill my sister because I couldn't watch the TV for as long as I want again

[its-been-rose]

Honestly, i always love myself a good messed up slasher. Especially when they work in pairs (Scream, anyone?)

But when it gets to the story of Killer Frequency, I always just keep wanting to pull Marie aside and go "Yoooooou! Put that boy through so much trauma! And then JUMPED?!"

And like in your art, I doubt this is just a spur of the moment thing, like she's been training for this! Imagine as a young child waking up and your mother teaches you to whistle, not because it's a fun little skill but bc you're gonna use it to terrorize then murder people with.

You are compared to a father you've never even met and somewhat care but also don't care for because it's an image presented to you via your mother who you love so much you'd do anything for.

You are taught to use a knife, probably. Something just tells me this isn't their first instance of killing someone, especially Marie. I mean do you remember Mrs. Loomis in Scream 2 when Randy is talking shit and she MAIMS him? That's Marie all the way.

There's just... so much to say about Marie. Like what was she even planning to do after this fact?

THISSS!!! ALL OF THIS!!!!

I don’t think this was the intention, but her jumping off Whistling Point at the end seemed to me like it was something she’d planned the entire time, like she’d planned it to be a murder-suicide from the get go. I think in reality it was probably just a very serendipitous coincidence that’s where her running from the cops took her and she took the easy way out due to the convenience. I’m just a sucker for drama and having her basically planning a 20-year long suicide plan is pretty dark.

But either way, she completely threw Henry to the wolves. Obviously she told him to run but what parent wouldn’t be like “don’t go after him he had nothing to do with it it’s me you want”??? Like girl you’re just gonna orphan your son?? Who looked up to you so?

I do not doubt for a single second that she raised Henry for that night and that night alone. Literally nothing else mattered. She absolutely screwed him over and let herself believe she was doing the right thing. If you think about the game for more than five seconds the real tragedy becomes obvious.

I totally agree with you that Henry did it less because he loved his father and wanted revenge for his death but more because he loved his mother who loved his father and wanted to do right by her. Like some of my own relatives passed away before I was born, and I was told stories about them, but I don’t feel a connection to them at all. I feel connected to how my parents felt about them. Like one of my parents lost their brother (my uncle) but i feel worse for them losing their sibling than i do for myself losing an uncle, if that makes sense. I can definitely see Henry thinking something along the lines of “yeah my dad was killed and it sucks and it’s not fair I never got to meet him, but look what his death did to my mom, it destroyed her, and it’s all their fault she’s been miserable for 19 years”

Yeah, Marie taught him, raised him, to be this. It should be a parent’s worst nightmare for their kid to turn into a monster, but she encouraged it. Completely unfair. And yeah I mean we know from Clive’s tapes that Whistling Night wasn’t their first foray into murder. They’d been chasing down stragglers for a while before then, could have been anywhere from months to weeks to days before.

As for what her plan was after the fact… I don’t think she had one, to be perfectly honest. This was all that mattered. I mean like- she even revealed her identity and the identity of her son ON AIR, so it would be way harder to go into hiding anyway. To me that says she didn’t really plan ahead. Just be perpetually on the run?

[midnightsunnyday]

The Contract

Diavolo: so then, I assume everyone is caught up on the rules of Extream Chessmaster: Sudden Death Edition, yes?

*everyone groans*

Diavolo: I'll take that as a resounding yes! Now then, as for the teams, Lucifer and I will be--

MC: hold it one second, mister! *pulls out a fancy slip of paper*

Diavolo: *clears throat* "And so, in the event that I, Lord Diavolo, current and acting prince of the Devildom, randomly proposes a game or event that threatens the continued health, longevity, and sanity of mortal life, hearby pronounce the human known as MC 100 free "Claim Lucifer" cards for their assured well-being, lack of death, and overall fair chance of competition." Huh. How curious.

Lucifer: how curious indeed.

Barbatos: that does look to be your handwriting, Young Master.

Lucifer: and your signature.

Diavolo: indeed they are. Though I'm not sure if I recall ever writing such a thing *smiles mischievously*

Mammon: oh, well isn't that convenient, then? Show em, MC!

MC: *pulls out tape recorder* *in Diavolo's voice* um, testing, testing. Is this thing working? *laughs* I always wanted to try that! Anyway, this recording acts as further verbal clarification that I, Lord Diavolo, current and active prince of the Devildom, did in fact write and sign the "Claim Lucifer" contract for MC under no threat of violence, lack of mental clarity, or under the influence of any substance. There, is that all? What do you mean there's more?

Diavolo: *pouts* well, that can't be fair.

MC: *fast forwards recording*

Mammon: I still don't know why you need Pridy McPrideface in the first place when ya got me, but fine! I, the GREAT Mammon, current and active Avatar of Greed and one of the seven lords of hell, blah, blah, blah, hearby announce myself as acting witness to the "Claim Lucifer" contract to avoid future denial and dismissal.

Satan: while I, Satan, Avatar of Wrath and one of the seven rulers of hell, act as signatory.

Belphegor: hm? Oh, right, what they said.

Beelzebub: and I'm also here.

Satan: now then, I need you all to sign here...and here...and here...Beel, stop drooling! And...done! There. The contract is now approved.

MC: thanks guys.

Mammon: *spats* yeah, whatever. You both owe me!

Diavolo: was all of this really necessary?

MC: *mumbles* considering how much of a brat you are, yes.

Diavolo: pardon?

MC: nothing!

Belphegor: trust us. The more grief Lucifer goes through the better. And there's no one Lucifer griefs over more than MC.

Satan: indeed. They're like a walking hazard sign. Surely he'll pass out from the stress alone.

MC: hey!

Satan: and so concludes our little meeting. Have fun...Lucifer.

MC: *ends recording*

Beelzebub: oh, yeah I remember that *drools* Those donuts were delicious.

Leviathan: so the Anti-Lucifer Leauge strikes again!

Asmodeus: leave it to Satan and Belphie.

Lucifer: *glares* Pridy McPrideface, was it?

Mammon: eek!

Barbatos: regardless, that is indeed the Young Master's voice.

Lucifer: it would seem so *frowns* Though I don't think I care that the entirety of my free will has been lessened to that of a slip of paper. Or how any of this is legal without my presence!

Mammon: eh, don't worry about it.

Asmodeus: 100 free "Claim Lucifer" slips, hm? There's no telling what one could do with those.

Leviathan: right? Imagine what would happen if they got into the wrong hands? Especially Asmo's?

Asmodeus: hey! I'm the sweetest and fairest capture you could ever have! My 100 step spa routine is to die for!

Leviathan: a 100 step spa routine? Sounds more like torture.

Diavolo: you are aware that I could just revoke all of this, yes? After all, I am a prince.

Lucifer: that would be appreciated, yes.

MC: true, you could. But then I'd never speak to you again. And can you really handle that? Can you?

Diavolo: preposterous.

MC: hm? What was that? I could've sworn I heard someone.

Diavolo: you wouldn't.

MC: ...

Diavolo: ...

MC: ...

Diavolo: ...Darn it! Lucifer, just...go.

Lucifer: *sighs and walks over to MC's side* honestly, I can't believe either of you.

MC: yay! I knew these would come in handy. Ready to win, buddy?

Lucifer: not particularly.

MC: aw, come on. It'll be fun.

Lucifer: hardly *smiles maliciously* Though not as fun as what I plan to do with one of my 100 free "Make MC Do As I Say For A Day" cards.

MC: ...I don't recall agreeing to those.

Lucifer: is that right? *pulls out a fancy slip of paper*

MC: "And so, in the event that I, MC, current and acting representative of the entire human race, use one of my 100 "Claim Lucifer" cards--" Oh, come on!

Belphegor: looks like Lucifer had this planned from the beginning. Typical.

Satan: even when he looses he wins. It's infuriating!

Mammon: hey! Just why the hell is he the only one with those cards, huh? Fork em over!

Leviathan: that's right! No monopolizing over MC. This is a democracy!

Asmodeus: yeah, what Levi said! I think.

Beelzebub: it's ok, MC. We can hang out whenever you want.

Belphegor: you're being way too nice about this, Beel.

MC: aw, thank you, Beel. You know, all of you could learn a thing or two from your younger brother. Frankly, I don't think I care that the entirety of my free will has been lessened to that of a slip of paper. I'm a human being not an item! And isn't that what matters most?

*silence*

Belphegor: ...no offense, Lord Diavolo, but I don't think I'm in the mood to play games anymore. Not that I ever was.

Satan: you're right, Belphie. In fact...Lord Diavolo, how would you like to negotiate a contract? Concerning MC, of course?

Diavolo: concerning MC, you say? Barbatos?

Barbatos: it would seem that your schedule is conveniently clear for today, Young Master.

Lucifer: how fortunate. As is mine.

MC: I don't like where this is going.

Mammon: eh, don't worry about it.

Asmodeus: ooh, ooh! I want 500 MC cards! No, one million!

Mammon: you're not thinking high enough! I want a quadrillion! Times 500 quadrillion!

Solomon, walking in with Luke and Simeon: hello everyone, sorry we're late, we--

Mammon: yeah, yeah, can't talk bye!

*everyone rushes out of the room*

Luke: uh, where is everyone going?

MC: to sign my life away.

Simeon: should we...be concerned about that?

MC: possibly.

Solomon: I suppose we should all try to stop them.

MC: YOU SUPPOSE?

Luke: can someone please tell me what's going on?

Simeon: we'll...tell you when you're older, Luke.

Luke: no fair! You always say that!

[songmingisthighs]

Genesis

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. xxvii - scuse me

fashion mogul!mingi × reader

buy me coffee ?

things aren't always what it seems but when even the truth is left unheard, what can people do? one musn't lie but what if the lie is more accepted than the truth? the scariest thing in this world isn't monsters or demons. it's people with no agenda and time to waste.

To be quite honest, you knew being alone at night was stupid. Not that it was very dangerous or something, it was just amplifying the loneliness. Sure, some people might revel in being alone, but you had to admit that you were slowly getting tired of being alone. Or maybe it was that you were tired of beinv alone again. Three years and an engagement later, you wouldn't have guessed that you'd be going to the convenience store you used to frequent with your ex by yourself. The road used to be filled with lighthearted teasing and nearing the end, wedding planning is now cold breeze and crickets.

But, you had cravings. Bean had cravings and you didn't stock up because the cravings differ from one day to the other. So the broken heater of the convenience store couldn't stop you. It wasn't like it was too cold either, it was just slightly uncomfortable. Bean had wanted to eat something warm anyways so it shouldn't be an issue. And yes, you really do heed into Bean's cravings. Once, bean craved ice cream and jjajang at the same time. It wasn't that weird but maybe a mango ice cream was a bad choice. You didn't even know what bean wanted until you got to the convenience store and immediately craved spicy jjamppong ramyeon with cheese, egg, and sausage. You wondered if Bean will still have the same questionable palate once it's born. Then you wondered if bean shares the same palate as its dad. Not that you wanted to think about him much because obviously, he has yet to make up his mind while still trying to drown you in presents. You were running out of people to give away the presents he still left you and while it seemed mean, you didn't want your anger to be resolved by items. Maybe your friends were right, maybe you wanted Mingi to make a decision to approach you first. And maybe you should've been straightforward with him and tell him the answer you needed instead of playing this chicken game. Besides, it was bad enough that you left him all alone in the hallway of your apartment at 11 pm while needing to pee. To be quite honest, you felt bad for that and you would apologize. If he'd come to you.

The whole Mingi train of thought took up only until your food was cooked. As soon as it was done, you immediately focused on eating, enjoying the taste and warmth that spread all through your chest. You ate the whole thing with such gusto, feeling your mood getting better that peaked once the bowl was empty and you have cleaned up all your trash. With a satiated craving and a full belly, you walked out of the convenience store So of course, you thought you were going to end the day perfectly what with your craving satiated and belly full. Though, you were slightly concerned that your baby was floating in spicy ramyeon broth but that was just a regular odd fear that was washed away easily with the cold night air.

"Excuse me," You turned to see two women jogging towards you.

Considering that it was nearing midnight, you should've been more nervous and cautious of any interaction happening. But for that same reason, because it was nearing midnight, you think you should help your fellow women who might be in some sort of trouble, no matter the complexity and size.

"Yes?" You answered as soon as they reached you. The two women looked at each other momentarily, before turning back to you, "Do live in that apartment?" you followed the finger of one of the girls who was pointing at your apartment building. You nodded in affirmation to them, assuring that you actually do, "Yes, I do," as soon as you said that, you could see their eyes light up happily. "That's great! Do you know the girl who's dating Song Mingi the fashion mogul?" the other immediately asked. It was a rather odd question and the furrow of your eyebrows seems to only make them more intrigued. You immediately got a weird vibe from them so you did what you thought was right and tried to escape as quickly as you could. "Uh, I don't know what you guys wanted or how you even know about the apartment, but if this involves anything weird, I don't want to be part of it. So..." you tried to turn around and walk away but they went around you and blocked your path. One girl grinned happily while the other stared at you with furrowed eyebrows, "Oh, she so does, she's probably friends with her," she said excitedly, hitting her friend's arm continuously. You wanted to say no, but you didn't want to give them hints or anything that could make them think that you were actually helping them.

However, before you can do anything, the girl whose arm was hit by her friend stepped forward as her eyes widened, "Oh my God, forget that, Hyemi, this is her! She is her! Didn't you see the leaked pictures from that blog?" All of a sudden, you felt your stomach drop and your instinct was triggered. Your hand flew to your stomach as if you were trying to protect your baby even though there was no proof that your baby was even being targeted. "You're so right," when the excited girl took a step closer to you as well, you immediately raised a hand at her that she simply grabbed to pull you closer, "We have so much to ask you,"

They weren't even treating you like a human being, using you to get answers on Mingi because they thought that you were personally involved with Mingi which was so wrong on most levels. The questions they asked were rather invasive too. For example, since when was it okay to ask a complete stranger what Mingi usually does as his shower routine? Does Mingi take a bath often and when he does, does he use bath bombs? What is Mingi like at home, what does he wear or does he even wear anything? And worst of all, has Mingi really been with men?

"Really, I can't help you with this, I need to go home," as hard as you can, you tried pulling your arm out of their grip as your eyes tried to find a way to safely make your escape. The only thing you fear is truly your baby being in danger from you trying to escape them. But no matter how much you tried to pull away, they kept bombarding you with questions you didn't have the answer to. You were damn near crying at that point and the sliver of people who passed by were no help, they simply looked at you who was in trouble and decided to not give a shit. So much for you trying to help someone. You couldn't stay and let them do whatever they wanted because that will just encourage more shitty behaviour on their part while preventing you from developing an effective way to get rid of assholes like them.

When you felt your arm being yanked, you damn near screamed bloody murder, but you soon realized that it wasn't really your arm that was being yanked, it was the girl who was holding you. You looked up to see Mingi scowling at the two girls who stood frozen. "What do you think you were doing?" His voice was void of the usual lighthearted tone he used on you, this was not even the voice he used when he accused you of whoring around. This was... Assertive.

"I..." "We..." Both girls were nervous now, they hadn't expected to be confronted by Mingi because they thought that they were going to be the ones doing all the confronting. Idiots.

"I'm trying to be nice right now for the sake of this woman right here," he nodded to you which made your breath hitch, "But if you don't leave her alone, I'll make you regret it." With that, he turned you around and with a hand on your back, he guided you away from those girls.

Just as you were about to feel relieved that Mingi had stepped in, one of them screamed 'wait' and proceeded to grab you by the shoulder, almost making you fall. But Mingi's reflex was better than theirs as he immediately pushed the girl's grip off and stepped between you and her. At 6 ft, Mingi was a mountain that put the girls under his shadow. "I'm serious, I will press charges," he said sternly. You didn't see what he looked like completely, but you saw that he was glaring at them and his chest was puffed while his shoulders were squared. In all honesty, he kind of looked like a guard dog, protecting whoever or whatever it was he deemed needing his protection.

The message was VERY loud and clear as seen from how both girls immediately nodded their heads in fear. Only then did Mingi gently take your hand in his and walk you to his car that was parked just across the road.

"Mingi?" You called out meekly, afraid that he was still worked up. But when he turned to look at you, you were only met with his usual kind eyes and that showed a lot of guilt and a hint of embarrassment. "I can just walk to my apartment alone," you told him, hesitant to receive his kindness especially since he had just saved you after you ignored him for some time. But Mingi shook his head, even tugging you further to the passenger seat where he opened the door and motioned for you to get in, "No, you just experienced something traumatic from trying to walk home all alone, the least I can do is make sure you don't get followed even after you get inside your home," he said determinedly. You wanted to say no, send him home, and tell him thanks but no thanks. But, you don't really want that. Not at all, actually. So you smiled which surprised Mingi, "Thanks Mingi, that's really nice. Way nicer than the gifts you've been dropping off," you teased. At the mention of gifts, Mingi blushed and his hand flew to ruffle the back of his head, "Uh... Actually, I was just about to drop off a bouquet I got you, but I threw it there when I saw that you were in trouble," he said as he pointed to the road. True to what he said, you saw a bouquet of white and soft yellow flowers wrapped in baby pink and baby blue paper abandoned by the side of the road, the wrapper soaked by disgusting murky water, the flowers crumpled and some of the petals even scattered around dramatically.

The sight should've been sad, but for some reason, you laughed at it. Even more odd, Mingi was laughing along with you. It wasn't that you both were laughing at each other, but you were laughing at the situation and how unpredictably ridiculous it is.

Yeah, everything involving you two were absolutely silly.

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[wanderingmadscientist]

Okay, after watching End of Evangelion in theaters this past Sunday, I decided to do an analysis of the live action sequence in the film.

This sequence can perhaps be considered the weirdest part of the movie, as it doesn't truly fit in the plot, unlike the other weird parts.

So a quick rundown.

Taking a break from being in the sea of lcl where everyone is a singular being. We cut to live action of a man opening his eyes, taking in an empty movie theater.

Followed by a sequence of everyday clips.

Then we see people watching the early screening of Evangelion death & rebirth in theaters.

Followed by the voice actors who played Asuka, Rei, and Misato

Followed by three mannequins dressed up as Asuka, Rei, and Misato

Followed once more by people watching Evangelion Death & Rebirth, followed once more by an empty theater, then some fanmail to the Gainax team, and then we return to the regularly scheduled program that is human instrumentality.

Let us now take a look at the dialogue.

Shinji (voice): Hey… Misato (voice): What? Shinji (voice): What are dreams? Misato (voice): Dreams? Rei: Yes, dreams. (Screen text:  Do you feel good?) Shinji (voice): I don’t understand… I don’t really understand reality. Rei (voice): So, you can’t understand the gap between other’s reality and your own truth. Shinji (voice): I don’t know where to find happiness. Rei (voice): So, you can only find happiness in your dreams. Shinji (voice): Then, this isn’t reality… Because no one is here. Rei (voice): Yes, it’s a dream. Shinji (voice): So, I’m not here either. Rei (voice): You were trying to remake reality with convenient fantasies. Shinji (voice): Is that wrong? Rei (voice): You were using fabrications to escape from reality. Shinji (voice): Can’t I dream alone? Rei (voice): That would not be a dream.  It would just be compensating for reality. Shinji (voice): Then… where is my dream? Rei (voice): It is the continuation of reality. Shinji (voice): Where is… my reality? Rei (voice): It is at the end of your dream.

The dialogue seems to imply that the live action real world is Shinji's dream, a world where he doesn't exist. The truth is though, that it forces the viewer to confront the fact that Evangelion isn't real. It's a dream.

Now Anno has stated that Evangelion a consideration of Otaku, specifically the aspect of escapism, hence Shinji's common line in Evangelion, "I mustn't run away." While in Shinji's case it is meant as not running away from responsibility, in human instrumentality it also comes to mean not running away from the harsh pain of reality.

In order to further analyze this point, one must consider Anno's relationship with the fanbase. In an interview he has stated

For the TV series, we certainly ran out of time. We had no time for episode 25, so we remade it for the theatrical edition. The final episode, episode 26, was going to be that way originally.

Episode 26 was always meant to be the positive ending it was in the show, but because of the fan response, he was made to redo it to something darker and more gritty.

Another fact is that there was a live action scene cut from the film. In it we see the voice actors of Misato, Rei, Asuka, and Toji, playing their characters, living out their lives in a world where Shinji doesn't exist. Throughout this scene, we hear Shinji, voiced by Hideaki Anno this time, calling out to the characters, but they can't hear him. In the end, he remarks, "I'm not here." Anno is recognizing his own attempts at escapism through his work, and admitting that he too is an otaku, he is trying to convey to the audience that he is not attacking them, but trying to help them, as well as himself, with the problem of escapism.

The live action is therefore inserted not as a revenge against the fans, but statement to them, about learning to live in reality, while still enjoying the fantasy and dreams of such fiction.

[heich0e]

BACKGROUNDER - the one that got away!kuroo

note: hello!! if you're seeing this post, you probably clicked through from this fic, and if not... well that's ur own journey <3 this is a collection of posts from my #the one that got away!kuroo universe, which offer context to the main story but aren't strictly necessary—like... further readings, i guess. i contemplated how best to direct people here, and in order for you to most easily access this info, i settled for this post!! under the cut are all of the asks/text posts that ultimately culminated in the full fic, arranged in chronological order for your viewing convenience:

original text post: not to kill the vibe but kuroo tetsuro does give me big 'guy who isn't ready for marriage but then gets married to the first girlfriend he has after the two of you break up' energy for reasons i cannot quite put my finger on

> n to rub salt into the wound, you thought for sure you and kuroo would marry

you didn't think the breakup would stick. you always thought—or hoped, maybe—that the two of you would find your way back to each other when the time was right. but not even two years later (which feels so SOON, even though it isn't really) you see that he's engaged to a girl—a perfectly nice, normal girl, that you can't even bring yourself to hate because you know all too well what it's like to be in love with tetsuro. know what it's like to want a future with him. and you can't blame her for it, even if you resent her for being the one who gets it.

> after the wedding who do you go with? are you drunk out of your mind

you aren't invited. that stings. but you think it might have been worse if you did end up getting one of those beautiful, unnecessarily elaborate invitations in the mail. 

you run into kuroo a few months before the ceremony at a mutual friend's birthday party. end up talking. the wedding comes up accidentally more than anything—maybe someone else mentions it, maybe you ask, maybe he tells you like he's repenting for a sin he didn't commit—and he stumbles through an unbearably awkward explanation (that he doesn't even owe you) as to why you weren't invited. but you know even if he says it in nicer, easier to swallow words, gilded with white lies: it would be weird. it would be wrong. it wouldn't be fair to anyone. not to him, or to you, or to her.

you get drunk the night of the wedding and hook up with the guy you've been fucking for the past few months, who you're pretty sure doesn't even know what you do for work even though you've told him multiple times. all your friends are dressed up and celebrating, and you're throwing up in the hotel bathroom by 2am while the guy sleeps in the bed a room away—completely, blissfully unaware of what's happening on the other side of the wall, let alone at a glittering venue across town.

you envy him for it.

> does kuroo still love reader? does he love her?

he does still love reader AND love his fiance too. maybe in different ways. maybe his love for reader is like guilt. maybe his love for his soon-to-be wife is more like atonement. i don't think it took kuroo very long to realize what he did to you was, well, sort of cruel. i think he regrets it deeply and thinks about it often. in a fucked up sort of way it makes him better to his new partner, because he doesn't want to hurt someone like that again because of his own immaturity. it's unfortunate, but it's like she gets to reap all the benefits of the growth he experiences at your expense.

> Will it ever get better for you after kuroos wedding

of course it will. that's the really weird thing about heartbreak: life just keeps going. you feel like your heart has been cleaved out of your chest, but then you just... go to work. you do your laundry. you read a new book that becomes an all time favourite. you spend time with your friends and family. you go on dates. you learn all the lyrics to new songs. you celebrate holidays and birthdays. and one day you realize it's been years and you're in a totally different part of your life now, and the boy you thought would one day be holding your hand on your deathbed doesn't even know what the inside of your new apartment looks like. and you don't know what his looks like, either. and it's still sad, and hard sometimes, but all you can do is keep going. keep trying to find new happiness even if it's not the one you wanted. and hope that somewhere out there he has a new favourite book too. 

> think of Kai who was secretly pining for you during your relationship with Kuroo. Yet, he still doesn't have it in him to confess his feelings. So, he does the next best thing: he becomes your booty call. But when you slip during one of your hook-ups--when you moan Kuroo's name--he realizes it would never work out between the two of you. Your heart is so full of Kuroo that there's no room for him.

kuroo is so beloved by the people around him that i don't think there's a friend in his life who would EVER betray him like that—even if they did have feelings for you. even more than that, a lot of the friends that he introduced you to during your relationship (who you got close to) seem to grow distant after the breakup. even though it was his fault, really. even though you were their friend too. they just seem to naturally gravitate back to him, like belongings that are divvied up after a divorce. and there's no hard feelings. they don't dislike you, or even do it consciously, it just... happens.

you do definitely call out tetsuro's name when you're hooking up with other people though. it never ends well.

> sorry if u’ve already answered this but how long did kuroo and reader date?

they met in high school, and always had little crushes on each other but it never went anywhere. kuroo FINALLY confessed at graduation (he tried to be rly smooth like the shoujo protag he isn't and almost botched it) and they started dating at 18. they dated for a little over 5 years. broke up at 23. kuroo stayed single for a while before he started dating his (eventual) wife, and they got married at around 26. reader moved away from Tokyo when she was 28-29. and reader and kuroo are both in their mid-to-late 30s when the fic opens!!