#it's possible i am asking too much from my laptop lol

[robo-dino-puppies]

dragon age: the veilguard | neve gallus 5/?

[bontentrio]

ATEEZ STUCK IN THE FRIENDZONE

ot8 x gn reader

summary: they are down bad for their best friend

tw: mostly fluff, maybe angst. also alcoholic drinks and being drunk in yeosang’s and wooyoung’s. parts. (+ possible spelling mistakes since english is not my first language!)

a/n: friends to lovers > any other tropes lol also requests are open rn!!

part 2: hongjoong + seonghwa | yunho + yeosang | san + mingi | wooyoung + jongho

HONGJOONG

hongjoong felt helpless. he didn’t know if you were messing with him on purpose or if you were genuinely clueless to his feelings, but he is sure he’s about to lose his mind. how much more will he be able to take of your soft touches on his skin? or how close to his face you would get when you wanted to show him something on your phone?

everything would change if he just closed the distance between you two. or if he said those three dangerous words that had been appearing in his mind every time he saw you. three words. one kiss. or both?

“joong, are you with me?” you asked suddenly, pulling him out of his thoughts. he blinked rapidly and nodded “something about buying a new laptop right?”

you hummed in response, shoving your phone in his face while scooting closer. “i think i like this pink one, it’s so very cute, but do you think it will be able to take all the digital material for class and all my sims expansions? or should i just go with the boring one that has more storage?” you asked, looking at him. it took everything in him to not kiss you right then and there, so instead, he bit his lip, pretending to think about it.

“i mean, you can always personalize it with stickers so it’s less boring” he suggested. your eyes immediately widened, not having thought about that option. “hongjoong you are a genius! i can’t believe it didn’t cross my mind”

“i know you like the back of my hand y/n” he said in a whisper, but you heard him nonetheless.

“that’s why you’re my best friend, you always complement me” you said, smiling and returning to your seat beside him, as you started purchasing the ‘boring’ laptop.

hongjoong never wanted to bang his head against a wall more.

SEONGHWA

“so he told her that she was the crazy one! can you believe that, hwa?” you asked, crossing your arms as you walked beside him. you have been rambling non stop about what happened to one of your friends and her now ex boyfriend. “bold of him to accuse her of being crazy when he was the one that cheated with her cousin” he answered, turning his head towards you and smiling.

“right, thank you! that’s exactly what i told her!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms in the air dramatically. “i swear guys are so dumb these days”

“the dumbest” he said, chuckling.

“not you of course, you are always the exception whenever i talk about men and their stupidness” you said, patting his shoulder lightly in a friendly manner. seonghwa’s heart skip a beat. he wanted to be an exception, he wanted you to realize his feelings so bad and for you to reciprocate them.

“trust me, i would not be friends with a dumb man” you continued, now grabbing his arm and leaning your head against it. “i genuinely think you are the only exception”.

he was about to start jumping from joy, were you about to realize how meant to be you both are? how you both were each other’s ‘exceptions’?

“i think you’re an exception too” he said, testing the waters as he stopped in his tracks, causing you to lift your head up to look at him. you smiled, and he swore his heart stopped beating for a second.

“of course i am! that’s why we’re best friends, hwa!” you exclaimed happily. in contrast, he internally screamed, hope slipping through his fingers slowly.

YUNHO

it was a sort of tradition to have game night every week in order to de-stress, followed by a slumber party of two. you would bring snacks and drinks, and yunho would provide the tv, playstation and games. it was the perfect arrangement.

tonight was no different: you were lying on the coach with your legs resting on top of yunho’s lap, as you quickly pressed on the buttons of your customized controller that he had gifted you for your last birthday. meanwhile, he played with his spider man joystick, silently cursing whenever he got hit by enemies.

“noo yunho i’m down! come and revive me!” you groaned when your character died. he chuckled in response “you are really bad at this game, y/n”.

you playfully hit his arm and rolled your eyes “i would be better if someone covered for me instead of running off!” you said. “i was getting supplies!” he complained, making his character bring you back to life. before he was done though, another player killed him. “what were you saying about my gaming skills, baby?” you asked, playfully.

yunho.exe stopped working, as every time you called him that nickname. he knew that you were just being friendly, but he couldn’t help how fast his heart would start beating each time. for you, it was just a word. but for him? the nickname meant everything: hope. hope that someday you will use the nickname in a way that would trascend friendship. hope that someday, you will realize his feelings and reciprocate them.

maybe if you used the word often enough, you would soon realize it.

YEOSANG

the first time you kissed was a drunken mistake. you both took one too many shots at san’s birthday party, and one thing lead to another and you ended up straddling his lap as you hungrily kissed him. despite his *very* drunk state, yeosang was over the moon, hoping this would change the direction of your friendship.

he realized how wrong he was when he woke up the morning after with a text from you that said “i hope that last night doesn’t change anything between us, i’m sorry”. he knew you were probably spiraling into the worst case scenarios, so he thought it would be healthier to just leave it there, for now at least. “we’re still friends, don’t worry” he texted back, hating himself for being a coward.

the second time was a dare at some party you attended of a mutual friend. he was the designated driver, and you knew he would have a hard time dragging his drunk friends back back to the car, so you offered to stay sober with him. he told you that it wasn’t necessary, earning a warm smile from you as you replied “that’s what best friends are for”.

the music was loud and the place was filled with drunk people, some making out in corners of the room, others engaging in incomprehensible conversations. yeosang and you were gathered in a circle with your friends as you played some sort of truth or dare game. it was mingi’s turn to spin the empty bottle of beer, having just finished his dare. to your misfortune, it landed on you.

“truth” you answered, earning groans from your friends, complaining about how ‘boring’ that option is. “y/n you picked truth last time! it’s dare time” mingi said in between giggles. “ugh fine, dare then i guess” you said, rolling your eyes as a smile creeped on your face.

“i dare you to kiss someone from this circle” he said, quickly glancing at yeosang, who immediately paled. you blushed, meditating your options for a moment before turning to your best friend. “we kissed once and remained friends. please don’t let this change”, you said, crashing your lips against his.

and he was, once again, over the moon, choosing to ignore the last part of that sentence.

SAN

“sannie!” you exclaimed, running up to him and throwing your arms around his neck. his arms immediately wrapped around you, holding you in place as he hid his face on your neck, inhaling your scent in discretion. it’s been too long since he last saw you, felt you near him. “i missed you so much, san! tell me everything about the tour”

you spent the afternoon talking about his adventures while on tour, showing you pictures of different places and telling you funny anecdotes of his members. each time he finished a story, you would smile so big and radiantly he found himself trying to control his heartbeat from racing. you also told him about how you were doing, of course! he wanted to know every new detail in your life, even though he knew many of the updates since you both regularly texted.

“i missed this” he confessed, before adding “i missed you”. your eyes softened at his words, taking his hand on yours. “i missed you too, sannie. it’s hell not being able to see your best friend every day as usual” you said. unbeknownst to you, you had just broken his heart a little with that last part. he just nodded, giving you a small smile.

on tour he felt your absence in words he couldn’t describe, always reaching for you when you weren’t there or aching to just grab his phone and call you. so, he decided he had enough of that. he was determined to tell you his feelings.

“actually, i bought something for-“ he started saying, but got interrupted by your phone vibrating beside you. “sorry, hold on” you said, before picking up. a smiled immediately appeared on your face, lighting up your whole aura as you talked back to whoever was on the phone with you. san couldn’t be more in love with you.

“sorry sannie, i have to leave. i thought my date cancelled tonight but apparently will be able to make it on time. so i have to leave right now to get ready for it” you explained.

his heart broke once again, letting go of the silver necklace he had bought for you. maybe another time, or maybe he was already too late.

MINGI

you were starting to get annoyed, and mingi knew it. you stood in front of him, crossing your arms as you looked at him questioningly. “i just don’t understand why you won’t let me read your songs”, you complained.

mingi sighed in response, leaving his notebook on the table beside him. “because it’s personal, y/n”. you rolled your eyes in annoyance, not believing a single word that came out of his mouth. “oh so now it’s personal? wasn’t it also personal when you, without my knowledge may i add, read my diary?” you argued back.

“that was different and you know it! i literally didn’t even know it was your diary” he said. “plus you forgave me for that!”

on normal circumstances, he would let you read his song notebook as many times as you wanted, hell, he would even sing/rap the verses for you. but ever since he realized that the meaning behind those songs revolved around you, about how you, his best friend, were his main source of inspiration, he decided to never let those songs see the light of day. unless until he was ready. what if you were repulsed? what if you decided he was creepy and distanced yourself from him? he didn’t even want to think about those scenarios.

“yes i did, but that doesn’t change the fact that you still read about my deepest thoughts and-“ you started saying, before your eyes widened and your voice started stuttering “wait. do you- do you actually not trust me? do you think i would leak the songs to the media?”

mingi honestly couldn’t believe what he was hearing. or worse, what you said next: “is this also why you’ve been avoiding me?”. mingi felt like punching himself, had he been avoiding you unconsciously? he knew he started keeping his distance a bit more, not replying as quick and not visiting as often as before. but he thought the changes were not noticeable by you.

you stared at him, tears forming slowly but surely on your eyes, as you tried so hard to keep them from falling. mingi was looking down, too lost on his thoughts. you waited a few moments, before muttering a low “i would never do that to you, mingi”.

he realized you were gone when he heard the door closing behind you.

WOOYOUNG

“if looks could kill, that guy would be long dead” yunho said, wrapping an arm around wooyoung as he smiled teasingly. he huffed, not taking his eyes from you and the random guy that had been keeping you entertained for longer than appreciated.

you were just getting drinks from the bar, but a random guy approached you suddenly and stole your attention before wooyoung could do something about it. you didn’t look uncomfortable, so it’s not like he could just walk up to you and steal you away. you weren’t even “his” to steal to begin with, his official title being “my bestest friend in the whole world” as you would say. a title that he, in fact, despised.

“you can always intervene you know? i mean they were supposed to get you a drink” yunho pointed out before sipping from his beer can. wooyoung looked at him. then looked back at you. his decision was made the moment he saw the man reach for your waist.

“love, what’s taking my drink so long?” he asked as soon as he approached you at the bar, stealing you away from the man and wrapping his arm around your waist instead. you turned to him, unknowing of his true intentions “oh my god woo i forgot! here it is, i’m sorry”

but wooyoung’s eyes didn’t leave the man, who immediately averted his gaze. “i didn’t know you had a boyfriend” the man said, glancing back at you. “he’s actually my best-“ you started saying but wooyoung interrupted you.

“boyfriend, yes. i think you should leave” .

JONGHO

jongho felt your arms wrap around him from behind the coach, pulling him back and stilling him in his place. he looked up at you and smiled softly, as you looked down with the same kind of smile. then, both of your attention was drifted back to wooyoung, who was dramatically telling a story about how hongjoong almost lost his laptop again.

“correction: someone stole it the first time, i didn’t lose it” hongjoong pointed out, earning a laugh from you. as cheesy as it seems, jongho truly believed that it is his favorite sound.

actually, you were his favorite everything: favorite person, favorite singer (despite only hearing you sing in the car or shower), favorite cook. the sound of your voice and laugh was his favorite, along with the way your face expressed clearly how you were feeling at the moment. to him, you were an open book, his favorite book.

the only problem was that he wasn’t sure if he was yours. yes, you were closer to him than with the rest, often confiding in him with your deepest secrets. you built an irreplaceable bond with him, one that he was truly afraid to break if he told you about his feelings. so for now, he settled with enjoying the skinship you offered.

getting too entertained by the dramatic scenery displayed in front of you, neither of you noticed mingi looking at your small, almost unconscious, interactions.

“hey how come we never get to hug you without getting kicked, jongho?” mingi asked, making everyone take notice of the way you were hugging and resting your head on jongho’s, as he traced his fingers along your arms.

“best friend privileges” you answered, noticing the way jongho flinched while he tried to think of a quick way to answer. what you didn’t know, was that your explanation made him want to scream. “oh really? isn’t it because-“ mingi started teasing, only to be interrupted by jongho abruptly standing up to kick him jokingly as he screamed, trying to block what he was trying to say.

he was willing to die with the secret that he had fallen deeply and stupidly in love with his favorite everything.

[hivemuthur]

Nothing's New - Ch.6.

viktorxfemale!reader explicit!

AU modern era, lovers to enemies to lovers, getting back together, angst & smut present

Ch.1. | Ch.2. | Ch.3. | Ch.4. | Ch.5.

word count: 8,8K (sorry!)

warnings: angst, unsafe sex, dacryphilia, spanking, d/s undertones

tag: #nothings new

author's note: It's Sunday where I am lol. No real notes, just thank you for coming with me on this journey, it's very weird to bear your soul like this and people reacting well, never happened to me before. Moments like this, I love internet. @rennethen beta read 🖤

Cross-posted on AO3

—

It took a long time for you to part on Sunday evening. You stood in the hallway, arms wrapped around Viktor, his arms wrapped around you, and only the sound of breathing surrounded you both. He pulled away first, placed a hand on your cheek, and said, “Think about everything. And let me know.”

You nodded, and a question—the answer to which you so desperately needed—was resolved before you even mustered the courage to ask.

“Come on Friday. I’ll text in the meantime? Or call?”

“I would like that,” you admitted with a relieved sigh, and Viktor offered you a kiss on the forehead. When you finally stepped out through his door, he lingered in the frame until the lift swallowed you.

The week passed in a diluted blur of working, eating, and sleeping, interrupted by little earthquakes in the form of Viktor’s messages and brief calls. Nothing with significant push or pressure—just simple, casual chats that let you know he hadn’t forgotten you, and made sure you wouldn’t forget either. And each one made your face beam in a way that earned you silly and curious “Who is that?” questions, until you were red-faced with a juvenile blush.

It happened every time your phone buzzed. You’d be in the middle of scanning through data, only half-listening to a coworker’s offhand remark, when you’d catch a glimpse of his name on the screen, and suddenly, the rest of the world blurred at the edges.

I am convinced my students are attempting to end me. I asked one of them to justify their methodology, and they said, “I just had a feeling.”

A barely suppressed laugh slipped out before you could stop it. You masked it with a cough, ignoring the glance your colleague shot you from across the table.

Another time, you’d been elbow-deep in paperwork, eyes dry from staring at the screen too long, when your phone lit up with another text:

I hope your day is going well. Eat something before you get grumpy.

You scoffed but still reached for the protein bar you’d left untouched beside your laptop.

And then there were the messages that made your stomach turn weightless, that left you pressing your lips together to fight off a giddy, ridiculous smile.

I dreamt of you last night. It was... pleasant.

It was impossible to focus after that. You stared at your screen for a full five minutes, rereading the words like they might change or disappear. Your mind whirred with possibilities, until the sound of your name snapped you back to reality and you scrambled to act as if your brain hadn’t just short-circuited.

Not once had he asked what you were thinking. Not once had he pushed beyond a sweet Goodnight call in the evening and a Good morning text when you woke up. It made the days more bearable, but it also made new questions rise. Is this trust already? Or just caution?

You faltered on Wednesday, when there was no message to greet you. And then no message to remind you to drink water.

You told yourself it was fine. That he was probably just busy. That this wasn’t some sort of test. But by lunchtime, the silence had settled too deep, turning over thoughts you didn’t want to examine. What if he’d changed his mind? What if he was waiting for you to make the next move? Or worse—what if this was a quiet way of pulling away? Your sanity was wearing thin.

You weighed your options, over and over. If you texted and he didn’t answer, would calling be too much? If you called first and he didn’t pick up, at least you could still send a text after. But would that make you seem desperate?

It took another ten minutes of pacing before you finally pressed the call button, cringing at the way your heart was thundering in your chest. The dial tone felt impossibly loud. One ring. Two. Three—

“Hello?”

And just like that, the breath you hadn’t realised you were holding slipped out of you. “Hi! Oh, um… why are you whispering?” You blurted out the words in a rush, voice pitched higher than you intended.

There was a pause, followed by Viktor’s voice, low and steady, tinged with quiet amusement. “I’m in the middle of a lecture—”

“Oh shit, Viktor, I’m so sorry!” you gasped and started to whisper yourself, as if the class could hear you. You winced, clasped your hand to your forehead and hoped that Viktor didn’t hear the sound of the slap.

“—but I am happy to hear you,” he continued smoothly, the warmth in his tone easing some of the tension gripping your chest. “Let me call you after?”

And he did. And you talked about nonsense until Jayce caught Viktor twirling his hair, hunched over his desk like he was trying to hide.

This was your week—full of insignificant, annoying events that conglomerated into something called life, interrupted by small Viktor moments. And for Viktor, it was small you moments.

And even though a massive weight had been lifted off your chest during that session of helpless sobbing on the couch, nuzzled into Viktor’s neck, you still feel a pang of guilt each time you replay the events of last weekend in your head. It’s hard to pinpoint where it comes from, but it’s ever-present.

Now that it’s Friday, finally, you write it down on a piece of paper filled with bullet points for later this evening. Absolutely convinced you won’t use it, you still write every single invasive thought down—just in case you gather the courage to tell him.

Before leaving, you make a few critical last-minute decisions—hair up or down, skirt or trousers, or a dress? Makeup or none? Take extra underwear, or not tempt fate to make a joke out of you?

You end up in a dress, with no makeup, your hair gathered into a loose updo, and a wishful-thinking extra pair of knickers stuffed into your purse.

You walk to make yourself less giddy. You stop to buy some food for later, glancing nervously at your watch, only to see that you are, in fact, too early. Sitting on a bench to read is futile—you just end up staring at your phone, willing the time to pass.

And when you finally, finally buzz his door, it’s like last time—you are immediately let in, without him checking the intercom. But this time, you almost run to the elevator, jabbing the button over and over for the doors to close and carry you upward. When you step out, Viktor is already waiting by the entrance to his flat, greeting you with a quiet, sweet, “Hi,” as soon as he sees you.

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out at first, not even the breathless hi yourself you’ve prepared. The week of waiting, of uncertainty, of second-guessing every moment—was it real? Was he real? Or was this just a fragile illusion, something too good to hold? The part of you that has spent too long in doubt tugs at your resolve, asking if you’re just imagining the warmth in his voice, the way he’s looking at you like he wants you here.

But then his fingers brush against yours as he plucks the bag from your hand, and the heat of his touch travels up your arm, quieting the noise in your head. The doubts don’t stand a chance once his hands slide up your thighs, wrapping around your waist, anchoring you to him. Your back thuds lightly against the door as he kisses you. You don’t even get a proper look at him before his mouth is on yours, his hand pulling your updo apart, fingers tangling into your hair.

Your palms clutch at his shirt and slide up his neck, pulling him closer. He muffles a quiet ah against your lips when you tug his hair and nip at his lower lip. His hips press into you, your chests flush together, and he breathes in deeply, catching up with your scent—the one he’s been missing for five days.

When he finally pulls away, he says again, “I said hi.”

“Hi yourself,” you reply, smiling sheepishly against him. You brush your thumbs over his beauty marks, and his eyes flutter closed. Your foreheads touch. Viktor looks relieved.

“I missed you,” he says, feeling stupid for admitting it—five days is nothing compared to the six months you spent apart, yet it still felt like agony. “You smell nice,” he adds, nosing at your neck, his lips curling up at the sensation of goosebumps rising under his touch.

“Thank you,” you whisper, dumbfounded by this unfiltered flood of affection. Viktor chuckles, realizing he’s overwhelming you. He moves away, and you would protest—if not for the fact that he’s still holding your hand. You squeeze it tightly, letting him lead you into the kitchen, where you watch him make tea.

“So,” Viktor starts, setting a cup in front of you before taking the seat opposite. “How was your week?”

“I—” Horrible. A blur. A very long blur. Long. Painful. “Painfully long,” you finally huff out with a chuckle, feeling the warmth of a blush creeping up your neck. You lower your gaze to your fidgeting fingers, and soon, in the periphery of your vision, Viktor’s hands creep in, cradling yours across the table.

“And why would that be?” he asks quietly. You don’t have to look up to know his eyes will be hooded and his mouth quirked into a sweet smile.

With a pained sigh, you pull your hands back, stand up, and in a heartbeat, you’re kneeling between his legs, resting your head on his lap, arms wrapping around his hips.

“And whatever is that for?” Viktor giggles, startled by your clinginess, unaware of the quiet, pathetic truth that you feel safest like this—between his legs, wrapped in his warmth. You breathe in the scent of his clothes and whisper, “You smell nice too. I missed you too.”

He places a hand on your head, fingers threading gently through your hair, and you inch your hands toward his belt. Slowly, his palm comes to rest over yours, halting your movement. When you lift your gaze to meet his, Viktor almost melts into a puddle at the sight of you—kneeling at his feet, eyes pleading—but he has to ask, “What is this about?”

“I just really missed you,” you say quietly, fingers twitching at his fly. “May I?”

He studies you for a moment, swipes his thumb over your lips and says a breathless, “Yes,” reinforced with a nod. And then his eyes glue to your fingers undoing his belt and tugging at his pants to slide them down all the way to his ankles, to finally discard them. And then—

Viktor’s breath hitches, but you cannot help yourself. You press your face to his boxers, breathing in his scent and it’s a gesture so full of adoration, he whimpers despite himself. You unroll his waistband and kiss him softly with your mouth open, leaving a slick trail all the way up from his base to the tip. He is still soft, his skin is warm and silky, and he shudders at each and every one of your pecks.

You slide his underwear down and make your way up, starting by kissing his knee, up his inner thigh, to finally take his balls into your mouth and hum at the contact. Viktor’s fingers curl in your hair, his legs straighten out in front of him, head falls back, and he gives out a deep, long moan.

It’s almost crushing to feel so worshipped. You’re being so gentle with him—it reminds him of your first time together. Back when things were easy, full of possibilities. Now, things are a little harder, but the possibilities keep slipping back in, one by one, with each passing minute.

He sags in the chair, eyes glazed, and cheeks reddened when he looks down to you—rubbing your face against his cock with reverence that makes him want to pull you up and kiss you until you can’t breathe. And you hum, and kiss and lick off his pre-cum for the longest time before you give him as much as an actual proper lick to his underside, tracing the prominent vein with the tip of your tongue. And Viktor twitches and writhes under your touch, his cock resting heavily across your face.

When you finally take him into your mouth he shudders, his legs jolt and he scolds himself for acting like he’s being touched for the first time. But after a second, he decides he feels safe enough—to let you touch him like this, to give you this power over him. And as if you catch that split-second hesitation in the way he tastes, you release him with a quiet pop and ask gently, “Is this alright?”

“More than alright,” Viktor slurs, his thumb sweeping over your lip again. The string of drool connecting his cock to your mouth now clings to his hand. He leaves it. “Please, don’t stop,” he adds, a blush creeping beneath his shirt.

With a smile, and God help him, another hum, you take him back in, placing your hand on whatever you can’t fit into your mouth. Viktor sighs, the sensation of being enveloped in warmth flooding over him, when you do something that nearly makes him come on the spot­—your hand flattens at the base of his cock and you push him past your throat, releasing a fresh wave of spit to drip down his length, while you gag, and the sound makes him go insane. He looks down, and oh, there it is—the first tear you shed today as you disconnect from him to catch a breath and stroke him with a slow movement of your wrist.

It’s a small tear that dries out somewhere in the middle of its journey between the corner of your eye and your chin, but it’s there nevertheless and Viktor commits it to memory. So when you kiss his tip again and open your mouth for him, he cradles your face and gives you one, languid roll of his hips. He stops to ask, “Can I?”

Your eyes flutter open, then closed, then open again. You nod, mumbling a sound as close to yes as you can manage with your mouth full, and you hope Viktor won’t retreat because you don’t want to lose the feeling of his hands cradling you and the feeling of his cock pulsing between your lips.

And, oh God, he takes it as it is. And he gives it back to you, with another thrust, careful and slow, his mouth falls open and eyes are fixed on yours. You see the vein in his neck pulsing, and you take your quick breaths through your nose each time he retreats to push back again. His cock keeps hitting the back of your throat, gently, just a touch, just enough to make your thighs clench and your knuckles go white on his thighs.

And you watch him becoming progressively prettier and prettier as sweat pearls up on his forehead and his mouth loses restraint with all the sounds he is giving you. “My good girl,” he keeps whispering. “Fuck, you are so good,” falls out next. “I love you so much, I missed this so much,” is your favourite one and makes your heart jump all the way up to meet the head of his cock in your throat.

He pants out your name, his grip tightening and the last thing that tips him over is when he sweeps your hair away from your neck to gather it in his fist. And he sees them, his own fingertips already yellowing on your skin, a faint memoir of bruises that were once there, from when he had forced you to look him in the eye while you admitted to still loving him.

“Oh, fuck,” is all Viktor can say as he spasms between your lips and spills himself inside and over, even though he wants to tell you how amazing it feels. How amazing you are, how amazing it is to fuck your mouth. How amazing it is that you shed another tear for him and that you swallowed almost all of his cum, and to convey it, he pulls you up just as he wanted earlier.

And you sit across his lap where he is still warm from your touch. And his mouth is on yours, and oh, it’s almost like the first time. The taste of him still lingers heavily on your tongue and he sucks on it with love and care and gratitude, humming and licking into you, caressing your hair and your shoulders. He kisses you like you are worthy of redemption. Finally his head falls into the crook of your neck, skin clings to skin, as he mutters, “Thank you.”

"You taste just as I remember," you say absently, the words bouncing off the shell of Viktor’s ear. Just when he thinks he cannot possibly come undone any further, you take him apart.

"What have I done to deserve this?" Viktor asks weakly, and you huff a quiet laugh at how dramatic he’s being over a blowjob. You take his face in your hands, guiding his gaze to meet yours.

"There are things I have no idea how to tell you. But you deserve this every day," you whisper, resting your forehead against his.

Viktor sits there, dumbfounded, with you perched over his naked lap, foreheads touching, his pants and underwear crumpled in the middle of the kitchen. And as if your thoughts have seeped from your mind into his, understanding dawns.

"Is this your way of repenting?" he asks, trying to catch your gaze.

You say nothing, only scrunch your nose.

"Hey, look at me, please," Viktor says firmly, his fingers tilting your chin up. The warmth of his touch is steady, grounding, but not forceful. His eyes search yours, full of something unknown. "What are you trying to atone for?"

"For… everything," you sigh, pressing yourself down until you sag against him, your body moulding into his like you could dissolve there. The warmth of his skin on yours should be comforting, but it only makes the ache deeper, and you wince at your inability to express yourself.

"And yet, there is nothing," Viktor replies without hesitation. His fingers remain at your chin, keeping your gaze locked to his, as if he won’t allow you to look away, won’t allow you to slip into this spiral.

"Viktor—"

"I do mean it," he interrupts, his voice unwavering. "I do not want any of this. We start anew, sins not forgotten but cleansed. We learn, and we start over. Nothing to repent for."

"But—"

His other hand tightens around your waist, a small squeeze that grounds. "What do you feel?" he asks, softer now, but still insistent. "You have to tell me."

You hesitate. The words feel thick in your throat, soaked in self-doubt. "I—" You inhale sharply, then admit, "I feel shame. Or guilt. Or both, all the same."

"And whatever for?" Viktor presses, patient, his thumb brushing idly over your skin, a subconscious motion of reassurance.

"For how this went before, Viktor," you say, voice strained. "I see it now, and I just can’t—"

His brows pull together in concern, but he doesn’t let you trail off into silence. "What do you need to get over this?" Ever the problem-solver.

You huff out a mirthless chuckle, the sound brittle. "I don’t know. Punishment?" you say, half-joking, half-serious, but the weight in your chest doesn’t lighten. A punishment seems fitting. The insistent heat of tears pricks at your eyes, and you try to blink them away.

"I don’t think you deserve that," Viktor says immediately, voice firm, as if the thought alone is ridiculous. His hand moves to swipe the tear from beneath your eye while he does his best to remain unaffected.

"Hey—" He moves in by an inch, your stuttering breath fanning over his face. "I really don’t," he murmurs, quieter now, more to himself than to you. His grip tightens, like he needs to keep you close to not break. "We’ve changed, and it’s alright. Oh, God," he exhales, as his thumb swipes the tear from your cheek and his expression shifts from worry to adoration in an instant.

Your brows furrow, confused. "What?"

A flicker of hesitation crosses his face. He swallows. "I have my share of shame in me as well, love."

Your stomach twists at the admission. "What? Why?"

He exhales sharply, pressing his forehead to yours. His voice drops lower, as if he is giving away his best-guarded secret. "I… seem to enjoy it when you cry," he admits. "Not in the sense of enjoying your suffering," he clarifies quickly, "but somehow, being cried for, or in front of, makes me feel… loved."

"Oh, Viktor," you whisper and pull away, your hands moving instinctively to cup his face. His skin is warm beneath your touch, the sharp angles of his cheekbones softening under your fingers. "I am doing a terrible job with love confessions if you have to seek confirmation like this," you mumble, a self-deprecating huff of a laugh dancing under your nose.

Viktor shakes his head, pressing his forehead against yours again, unwilling to let you part. "I disagree. I felt just as loved a minute ago." Then he exhales, long and slow. "I think… it’s just a byproduct of everything," he says carefully. "A change." He pauses, then asks, voice softer, "Does it repulse you?"

"Of course not," you answer instantly, faster than a blink. Your thumbs brush over his cheekbones, gentle, reverent. "You could never repulse me."

His eyes flutter shut for a moment, like he’s soaking in your words, like they’re something sacred. When he opens them again, there’s a softness in his gaze that crushes you completely. "The feeling is mutual," he murmurs.

He studies you for a moment longer before speaking again. "So tell me—what do you need to overcome your shame?"

And you hesitate again. It still lingers. Creeps up to coil somewhere around your throat and you can’t possibly bring yourself to say this, can you? The most obvious stupid cliché. Not because of the act itself, but because of the nature of it. Because of the reason for it. You crave to shed it, to start anew, to get all dressed up in your fresh new skin, old one feeling to tight around your bones. But this is Viktor. And of all people, he’s the one you would ask.

So you lean in to whisper your undisclosed desire straight into his ear. "Spank me."

Viktor stills, his mouth falls open, and he covers it with his hand. Not in shock—just to think. He doesn’t let the moment linger, as his brain works fast. He cups your cheeks and sweeps his thumbs under your eyes. Takes a deep breath.

"This is your wish?"

You nod, lowering your gaze and fixing it on the space between you, but Viktor tsks at you. "I will need you to use your words for this and all the way through. Is this what you want, for sure?"

"Yes," you answer, quietly, but audibly enough for Viktor to accept.

"Alright," he says firmly, then smiles and places a kiss on the corner of your mouth, sweet and lingering. "Will you pass me my pants?"

You huff out a laugh but scramble up from his lap, helping him get roughly dressed—underwear left in the kitchen—when he leads you back to the bedroom. And it’s all so very sweet. He leans on you, just like last time. Kisses your cheek and neck all the way through. You manage not to look at the empty spaces this time.

He leads you to the bed, where he sits down, and you don’t know what to do with yourself. Holding your hand, he guides you to sit beside him. Without question, you do, heart all the way up in your throat.

"Alright, let’s go over this, yes?" Viktor states, as if this is a project. Safety rules, roadmap, scientific approach. He gives your thigh a gentle squeeze and smiles softly. "I will check how you are doing constantly. If you tell me to stop, I stop immediately. If, for whatever reason, you don’t feel like you can tell me, you tap my thigh three times. If you don’t like it, we never do this again. If you do, we will explore. What do you think?"

"You don’t think it’s weird?" Do you think I’m weird is truly what gnaws at you, but you can’t bring yourself to ask it. You just look at him, waiting, excited and scared.

"Of course not. Peculiar, at best," Viktor smiles again and places a flurry of kisses on your face. "Do you wish to continue?"

"Yes," you answer with more confidence now.

"Then lay across my lap, please," he says, leaning back, hands still on you—grounding and reassuring.

Air gets momentarily knocked out of your lungs when your belly presses across Viktor’s thighs. He runs a hand down your spine, finding himself strangely excited about this. The trust he asked you for last week now lay splayed across his knees—he couldn’t help but think. All he has to do is indulge you.

His hand slides down, cradling your ass. He lifts the skirt of your dress, draping it over your lower back, and runs his fingers under the hem of your underwear. Gently, soothing you with soft sounds as he does, he pulls your knickers down to your knees. Your face burns, heat prickling across your skin in goosebumps with every touch—nails grazing over the inside of your knee, up your thighs, stopping at your core. He palms your naked skin and hums once he realises you are wet.

“Good,” he murmurs, playing between your legs for a while. Your mouth parts and eyes close, while you give him quiet gasps. He spreads the wetness onto your ass cheeks and cradles your bum one last time before starting. And then, without warning, the first slap lands—firm, of medium strength—but still, you yelp in surprise.

The sensation is alien—it both hurts and doesn’t. With the mild pain comes something else, something fleeting, but you can’t quite grasp what it is. Warmth spreads across your skin, and you dig your fingers into Viktor’s thigh.

Viktor, however, receives something entirely different. Nothing flees him—something grows. Both between his legs and in his chest. He has to take a second before he asks, “How was that?”

“Good,” you reply immediately.

So he continues. Another slap echoes through the room, and Viktor watches as the imprint of his hand whitens against your skin before dissolving into pink a second later. How pretty it looks. He checks in with you again. And again, you encourage him.

Slowly, slap after slap, each one interrupted by Viktor’s questions, you feel lighter, warmer. A strange feeling of relief washes over you. At some point, your skin begins to sting, and even that is welcome. Your mouth loses restraint, and you moan each time Viktor’s palm connects with your ass. Your back arches, ribs pressing into his legs, and you feel a drop of slick rolling down your inner thigh.

So debauched. So pretty, Viktor thinks.

He can’t help himself and runs his fingers down between your legs. Gasps at the wetness pooling there. “More?” He asks, voice breathy, eyes completely transfixed on your reddened skin and he almost drools at the sight. All his doing. His hand did this. This, and the drenched state of your cunt, it’s all him.

“More,” you say weakly. The burn feels good. You feel the doubt seeping out with the warmth radiating from your skin. With each touch, something inside you feels lighter. Bigger. Like there is more of you and less of whatever had been gnawing at you.

Viktor gives you three more slaps, and when your thighs quiver with the last one, his hand comes to rest at the base of your spine. “How is that?” he asks, admiration seeping into his voice.

“I think it’s enough,” you reply in a small voice. His hand returns to your bum, a gentle caress spreading from the tops of your thighs to your hips. Slowly, you rise from his lap, only to straddle him and wrap your arms around his neck.

“Thank you,” you breathe into his skin. Viktor pulls you close, inhaling deeply through his nose.

“Thank you,” he murmurs in return. “Please, lie down on your stomach. I’ll be right back.”

You blink in quiet question but obey. Crawling onto the bed, you curl up on your side, fingers ghosting over the heat still lingering beneath your dress. When Viktor returns, the soft tap of his cane against the floor announces him, and you wonder how he got all the way to the kitchen without it.

“I said on your stomach,” he says gently, placing a hand at the small of your back. You roll over, propping your head on your crossed arms.

“Good girl,” he coos before exposing your reddened ass. The mattress dips on each side of your knees and once again you feel Viktor’s hands on you. Soft, gentle. Callouses gliding over your tired skin with care and love. He presses his face against your cheeks, holding them firmly, hums in appreciation, making your toes curl and your back arch, belly pressing into the bed. Then his mouth joins, as he licks you with a flat tongue. Lips grazing over you, the trail of open mouth kisses spreading all the way from the crease of your ass to the small of your back. You press yourself into him and bury your nose in the sheets, trying to muffle your whimpers.

 And then comes the coolness pressing against you, making you wince at the first touch. A cold compress.

“Shh, it’s alright,” Viktor whispers. His free hand comes to thread gently through your hair. You feel safe. Whole. That sense of belonging blooms within you again—stronger this time—and you are so, so glad it’s with Viktor. You sigh and close your eyes.

He lies beside you, his hand running up and down your spine. When you blink, your eyes meet. “How are you feeling?” he asks, and he looks so in love your heart is about to burst.

“Very good,” you say quietly, offering him an honest smile. You turn onto your side to face him, the compress slipping off. “Better. Empty and whole at the same time,” you murmur against his mouth, kissing him with reverence. “You?”

Viktor thinks for a second before answering. "Knowing you trust me enough to let go like this makes me feel irreplaceable," he says finally, and you are left speechless. Because he is. And it feels great that he knows.

“It’s all very new, isn’t it?” you ask finally, and Viktor gazes at you, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“No,” he murmurs, pulling you closer, your name falling softly from his mouth. “Nothing’s new. It’s still love.”

You nuzzle against his neck and sigh, your eyelashes tickling his skin. The last question gnawing at you slips past your lips before you can catch it.

“Do you hate me less now?”

Viktor scoffs, outright appalled. He pulls you back by the neck, forcing you to look at him, his eyes full of intent as he replies simply, “No.”

Your heart beats only once before stopping entirely. Then Viktor’s expression softens, and he speaks again.

“I never hated you. If anything, I only love you more.”

And your heart resumes beating—hard and erratic. You wrap yourself around him, letting out a shuddering breath. “God, how can this be so good now when we’ve fucked up so badly?”

Viktor picks up what you’ve put down. “Change is inevitable. Sometimes abrupt. Maybe this is where we were supposed to be to get here, miláčku.”

Oh, God. There it is again—dragged up from the pit you were hoping to forget. The one thing that once felt most dear, a treasure Viktor gave freely, only to let it slip into someone else’s hands. Now it’s tarnished, dulled with grime. It doesn’t sound sweet anymore. It tastes bitter, feels wrong. Feels like it doesn’t belong to you.

Your heart drops again. Your voice shrinks to almost nothing as you push him away and plead weakly, “Please, don’t call me that again.” Tears are already pricking at your eyes, and you wonder when you became so quick to cry.

“Wha—Why?” Viktor chuckles, trying to wrap his arms back around you, but you keep your distance, splaying your palms flat against his chest in quiet defiance. And then he sees it.

“Oh, darling. It never happened, I promise you. The note, I—”

“What do you mean?” you ask, as if you don’t already know. Your brows knit together, a tear clinging to your lashes. “It was on the note,” you try again, your voice frail with disbelief. Your lips press into a tight line, and Viktor looks so remorseful that you fear what’s coming next.

“It was on the note,” he says carefully, “because I was fully lying to you.”

It’s so quiet you almost don’t hear him. Your eyes flick between his eyes and his lips, your mouth parting—but nothing comes out. A couple of imaginary pins drop on the floor, the sound echoes in your head.

And then a sob slips through as you blink rapidly, trying to hold back the tears. “No. Viktor, I thought—”

“I’m so sorry.” He tries to cradle you, but you resist. “I knew it was horribly wrong as soon as I saw you that day. I regretted it in an instant, and oh,” he murmurs, pulling you against his chest. He holds you tight through this last, stupid display of jealousy, doing his best to reassure you.

“I would never. I would never call anyone else that. You are the only one, I promise. It’s all yours. Please forgive me. Miláčku, please forgive me,” he pleads, pressing his face into your hair, into the crook of your neck.

You don’t respond—not with words, not yet. Your breath is shaky against his collarbone, your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt like you need something solid to hold onto. His heart hammers against your ear. You know he’s afraid.

Viktor shifts, pressing a kiss to your temple, lingering like he’s willing you to believe him through touch alone. His hand cradles the back of your head, his thumb brushing small, rhythmic circles at your nape.

“Please,” he whispers again, softer now, like he’s running out of words, running out of ways to reach you. “I promise it’s yours. Forever.”

“How do you know it’s forever?” you ask, voice hollowed out. That would be a gift too good to be true. Yet. You dare to have your hopes up.

Viktor winces. Your body grows pliant against him. He hooks his leg over your hip bone and nestles you close, his arm wrapping under your waist, his palm resting between your shoulder blades. His other hand cradles your cheek, his face inching closer. Your noses press together, and when Viktor speaks his quiet truth, your lips brush.

“Because loving you isn’t a feeling that fleets,” he murmurs, pouring the words into you. “It’s a condition. And I will carry it with me always, no matter what happens between us.”

Your breath hitches, and you shudder. You squeeze your eyes shut, searching for something—anything—to say. But instead, you press your salty lips to his, not in a kiss, just a press. Just to steal a breath from him.

“Come back to me,” he coaxes, his knuckles paling against your skin. “Miláčku, come back to me.”

And Viktor doesn’t really believe in any higher form of consciousness controlling the universe. The only thing he believes in is the void, that we scream into like an echo chamber, questions bouncing back to anyone who’s asking. That we only get one life and have to make the very best of it. He doesn’t believe in God, that he has called upon too many times already in the spirit of figurative speech. But if there was one thing he would pray for, it would be this.

To tether himself to you, bind himself to something real, something beyond the desperate loneliness he’s learned to live with before he’s met you. He’s been waiting and waiting for this love to fleet, and it never fucking did, no matter how hard he’s been trying to squeeze it out of himself. So, instead of praying, he offers himself to you, tries to prove in the only way he knows how that he is yours, that he will always be yours—with his needy hands that chased away your shame, with his loving eyes so honest they pierce right through you, with his hot mouth that needs, needs, needs to suck on you so his lungs could expand, and his heart could beat.

And as if gears slowly begin grinding against each other in your head, you give it all back. You kiss him—deep and messy, snot mingling with drool. Viktor sighs in relief, the taste of your tears on his tongue sealing something unspoken between you. He murmurs sweet things between breaths, hands tangling in your hair, legs hooking you closer. And he needs, needs, needs to show you how much he wants you to come back. How nothing else could ever compare. How the thought of anything else is harrowing and empty.

“So we start over,” you slice through his thoughts, stating more to yourself than to him, as if the matter has nestled in your head securely only just now.

Viktor nods brushing his nose against yours and whispers a quiet, “Yes.”

“Yes,” he says again as his shaky fingers begin to unbutton your dress. “Yes,” he breathes when his thumbs brush under your breasts and palms twitch to cup them. “Yes,” comes another murmur when his tongue meets your skin, tits squeezed together so he can lick between them, and then a moan escapes him as you slide your hands to the nape of his neck and tug at the short hair there.

Your back arches, excited and willing when the sensation of his tongue on you mingles with the sounds he makes echoing in your mind, and you breathe out a needy plea, “Do it again.”

Viktor cocks a brow, hums into your skin as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, and asks a playful muffled, “Which one?"

“Oh, God, both,” you whine, squeezing your eyes shut and buck your hips against thin air, Viktor’s knee too far for you to reach. Your fingers pull at the base of his skull, and Viktor chuckles, a flush creeping up his body underneath the layers of clothing when he sinks his mouth into your breast and obeys—letting out a quiet, wrecked, “Oh, fuck,” somewhere around your heart.

His thigh finally, finally, comes to your salvation, sneaking between your legs and pressing on your core with a quiet obscene squelch. The thought of a wet stain he will get to see there makes his cock twitch painfully against the half-assed job you did of buttoning up his trousers earlier on. You breath grows short as you rub yourself on him and when a stuttered whimper escapes your mouth, Viktor huffs, “Please, do it again,” through a sharp exhale.

You tug at his hair, forcing him to look at you. "Give me a reason," you whisper in a strangled breath.

Clearly, you have no idea what you’re asking for. The cry that escapes you when his knee retreats is, to say the least, embarrassing. The sound transforms into a quiet gasp, when his hands leave your chest, one finger slides through your slit and Viktor hums, so, so pleased with you, “Baby, look how wet you are.”

“So wet for me, my girl,” he coos, and he sounds almost too grateful as his lips come back to kiss you, and a gush of cold air fans over your nipples. He palms your sickly heat, grinding the heel of his hand against your clit and you blink rapidly as your eyes roll back in your skull. Your hands fumble blindly to unbutton his shirt in a need press yourself flush against him.

And you do a very poor job, jolting and pulling at his buttons whenever Viktor’s hand parts you and his fingers tease your entrance, so his other hand comes to help you, undoing what you can’t with an ease that has you huffing. It’s annoying that he can do two things at once, while you clearly cannot. Your sulking doesn’t last very long, because as soon as his naked chest is free to be roamed, you leech yourself to his collarbone and suck a red glaring love mark into it.

Yours. All yours.

And Viktor slips, figuratively and literally, as his head instinctively falls back to grant you full access to his neck and his two fingers push inside you, where you are so, so hot it almost burns him. As if the mark on his neck wasn’t red enough, you bite on it, trying to muffle a groan. Viktor has nothing to muffle his groan on, so you can feel it crawling up his throat and vibrating under your lips.

When his fingers push in further, the only gesture you can muster is to hook your hands over the waistband of his trousers, mouth choking on his neck. You pull his pants down and he hisses as the material hooks over his cock before it springs back to slap heavily against his lower abdomen. You try to distract yourself by sliding your palms flat up and down the slope of his sharp hips, but it’s futile once Viktor buries his fingers knuckle deep and curls them brushing the sensitive spot within you. He twitches as you moan. Precum leaks out of his slit. No thoughts cross your head, only impressions. Only want and need.

You can’t decide which one it is—want or need—when your fingers wrap around his length and rub whatever weeps at the tip all over the head. He’s silky and heavy in your hand as you trace your favourite vein with the tip of your finger.

“Oh, God,” Viktor whimpers to the imaginary being again, pumping you with a stuttering rhythm of his wrist. Feeling every crevice of your cunt, he pulls you in for a kiss and you no longer know where he ends, and you begin. Attached by the mouth, his hand deep inside you, your needy wanting hands on him, just drawing gasps and moans from each other.

He has to retreat to pull his pants further down and has an audacity to chuckle when you whine in protest. His hand leaves you drawing a wet sound and your thighs fall back together with a sticky smack. “So impatient,” he hums, while doing a shitty job of undressing himself, kicking off one leg of his pants, while the other still entangles around his calf. He hooks his freed leg over your hip, takes his cock from you and aligns it at your entrance. You are completely wrapped around each other—leg pressing on leg, arms hooked around necks, fingers adding to already damp hair.

“Do you want me?” he asks, pressing his cock against your clit, hard. You tie up into thousands of knots, trying to suck him in by the force of your sheer will when you see the question is honest. He really wants to know. Eyes pensive, hooded, mouth parted. So you kiss this mouth, bite his lips until he hisses and breathe into him, “I want you, fuck, I want you.”

A silent moan rips through him, as he enters you, inch after painful inch until you can feel every ridge, every vein, every pulse of his cock against your walls. At this point you are just clashing mouths and teeth in something that once was a kiss. He fills more of you than was empty as you lose control of the clenching and unclenching of your own muscles. A quiet ah falling from him dies in the sound of a slap as your hips slot together.

He stills for a moment, buried deep, and you swear you can feel his pulse inside you, thrumming in time with your own. Chest to chest, forehead to forehead, he exhales heavily through his nose, his grip on you tightening. And then he moves.

Your mouth falls open so wide your jaw aches, breaths intermingle, brows knit together. Viktor's hands anchor around your ass as he thrusts into you, slow and deep, each movement pounding the shape of his cock into your core. You arch against him, offering yourself, giving him everything you have. Your fingers twist in his hair, and the moment you tug, he groans—a low, breathy sound that coils something filthy at the base of your spine as your skin slaps against his.

And Viktor feels himself melting against your lips, inside you, as your walls squeeze tighter and tighter around him. He loses control of his hands—they just roam, fisting at your dress, kneading the soft flesh of your thighs as he sinks deeper, hitting a spot that has you gasping hiccupped breaths straight into his mouth. He pants, struggling not to be the one who falls first, trying not to look, not to think about your clumped eyelashes, the tears that he is fucking out of you. He tries not to think about how every slap of his hips against yours must echo across your poor ass, how pleasure and pain must be bleeding together inside you.

But it just feels so fucking good for you. Every roll of his hips is a reminder of how his fingers sank into your skin not long ago, heat pouring out of you in waves. You don’t move anymore—it’s only Viktor’s sloppy, determined thrusts guiding you toward the edge. You cross your eyes to focus on his parted lips, the beauty marks dusting his cheek and lip, and when his breath fans over your face, you let your lashes flutter closed, surrendering to it. Letting it build, slow and aching, every deep stroke tightening the coil inside you until you’re cramping around him.

“Fuck,” Viktor pants as you curl into him, whining his name into the crook of his neck, fighting the urge to bite down on his tendon. Your thighs squeeze tight around him, and your cunt grips him like a vice, milking him as you finally break apart. You spasm and clench around him, neck wrenched and jaw tight as you try to catch a breath through your silent shout and it’s almost impossible for Viktor to move in the tightness you’ve created. His sweat drips onto your cheeks, and, at last, he can stop holding back.

He curls his arms around you and rolls you over, pressing you down with his weight. Adding gravity to every snap of his hips, his stomach cramps more and more with each desperate thrust as he fucks you through the aftershocks, chasing his own undoing. His mouth hangs open against yours when he holds you tight enough for his fingertips to whiten, bruises already threatening to bloom where he grips. “I’m so close,” he whispers on a breath, and you thought it impossible, but you clench even tighter at the sound of his strained voice. And when he cums, it’s with a wrenched-out grunt, his head buried in your neck, his body trembling against you.

A few stuttering jolts of his hips, spilling his seed deep inside you, and the sensation of being filled, of being utterly his, has you moaning one last time, spent and breathless. Eyes unseeing, mouth touching mouth when he falls on top of you and just stays.

And then, nothing, for a moment, only your damp stomachs rising and falling against each other.

Until Viktor is the one to move first. He pulls out, his cum spilling from you onto the sheets with a wet spurt, and rolls onto his back, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow. A shuddery breath escapes him as he presses a hand to his chest.

“Viktor?” you say softly, gliding an open palm over his stomach.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what—” he croaks, then pulls you in, guiding your head to rest against his chest. His heart pounds beneath your ear, his breath uneven, and when you lift your chin to look at him, you catch the glistening trail of a tear slipping down his cheek, barely visible.

And Viktor has no idea what came over him. He has no idea whether this is a stupid way of paying back his debt to you or is it just a surge of affection that he cannot hold in, but it feels strangely freeing to pour all this fear into a wet breath. Or maybe his fucked out brain just can’t keep up with the bliss, he doesn’t know.

Gently, you tug his arm away from his face, nuzzling into him as you whisper, “It’s okay. You’re okay.” You press a soft kiss to his lips, and he exhales shakily, like he’s been holding something in for far too long. And to come undone like this is completely unlike for Viktor. You are fairly sure you’ve never seen him cry before, though you’ve heard the legends. And now they all come true, before your very eyes and even though you feel nothing close to arousal watching him spill his emotions over, the feeling you do have in your chest is about to make it burst, nevertheless.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, kissing you back through an embarrassed chuckle. “I guess something is new after all.”

“Don’t apologize, please,” you whisper, nuzzling your nose into the hollow of his cheek. “I love this.”

Viktor offers a smile and a squeeze to your neck. Wordlessly, you fall into each other, arms tightening, bodies entwining. The roam of your hands slowly dying to settle on each other’s hollows. The scent of sweat and warmth heavy between you, intermingling, blending—just as you do.

And even though all of this looks hurried and disorganised—your dress half undone, his pants tangled around one leg, brace slid down from his knee, shirt twisted around him, cold compress melting away, dampening his sheets—it feels right. And as you rest against him, your heart slowing in tandem with his, you think of how this is both familiar and new. How you’ve shed the bad and kept the good. How it’s all very fucking new and exciting and frightening, but it’s good, because it’s with Viktor.

At some point, the sun has set as you both drift into sleep. Heavy breaths, calm, bodies still half-clothed. Your dress has rolled all the way up, exposing your lower half, and Viktor, with sleep-ridden hands, pulls it down before throwing a blanket over you both. No dreams interrupt you, only the damp cloister of your shared aftermath.

He’s closed his eyes a second ago, and when he opens them again, the night has turned into a blue morning. No sun yet, but the dark already pales. Carefully, he shuffles from between your legs, pressing the soles of his feet to the wooden floor, blindly reaching for his cane. Then, takes a long breath. His knee is aching—a faint, but present feeling. Slightly annoying. Managable.

He discards his pants to the floor, the outline of the fly buttons pressed into the skin of his calf after clinging to it the whole night. He glances over his shoulder—you, fast asleep, hair clumped into a tangled mess spilling over his pillow. Mouth open, soft breaths coming in and out, the faintest sound nestling in his mind. His hand hovers over your cheek as he dusts away a stray eyelash. Moments pass as he just looks.

Quietly, he stands and expands himself into a slow stretch. Breathes out long and heavy. Then, half-naked, walks toward the kitchen. And there—his underwear on the floor. Two cups resting on the table. He puts his cup in the sink and reaches for yours—half-drunk tea, a once-wet, now dried-out ring left behind. He smiles.

Nothing’s new, comes the thought.

He drinks your cold tea and puts the kettle on.

[doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou]

Oiled Paintings

> melissa schemmenti x fem!reader

> requested? nope.

> content/warnings: mentions of arson, R is a closeted french

> a/n: this idea just came to me in the shower 🤷🏻‍♀️ let me know if anyone wants another part lol, and please tell me if the french here is okay enough 😭

“Alright, alright! Hush now!”

Teaching 8th graders the sense of art can either be a joy or a pain in someone’s ass—your ass, to be precise. Fortunately for you, it was both. There were days when the transitioning children were calm, and there were days when they reverted back to their kindergarten selves.

“All of you are required to bring aprons for our next meeting,” you told them as you wrote down a list of things they should bring. “You can also bring spare shirts, preferably dark ones, to top off your uniforms.” You reminded them gently as you watched most of the students write down what you listed on the board.

As you were watching them, a hand shot up from the side. “Miss, what are we doing at our next meeting?” Iya, a bright student who always helped you discipline her classmates, asked.

Giving Iya a smile, you crossed your arms and leaned back. “Remember our last lesson about paintings?” Your students nodded their heads. “Well, we’re going to do oil painting at our next meeting.” You topped off the list with a title that said OIL PAINTING.

A series of wohoo’s and yey’s were met with your announcement. Since you started teaching them how to properly mix paint, they’ve been waiting for an activity that consisted of paint, being dirty, and, of course, being free to paint whatever they wanted to. Raising your hands, you motioned for them to quiet down. “Alright, quiet down. I know everyone is excited—especially you, Jake. But before you leave, I just want everyone to know that I will need you to write what topic you are going to paint, just so we can have it as clean as possible. Just leave it with your last teacher for today.”

Right as you wrapped up your announcement, the bell rang, and the students began to stand and pile up outside the door for lunch. “Good job today, guys! Let’s go.” You gave them their signal to go.

As the last student went down the stairs, you went inside your classroom and prepared your laptop bag to go towards the teacher’s lounge on your floor. Yet, when you entered the lounge, you were met with a balloon on your face.

What in the hell is happening?

You swatted the balloon away and observed the room; it was full of decoration, and Mrs. Microft’s name was printed on a tarp just above the windows. As you read the small words below Mrs. Microft’s name, the information hit you. The elderly math teacher, who somehow harbored a disdain for you, was retiring. You scratched your nape and decided that the woman deserved to be wished off with peace, which included you not showing your face to her and watching it scrunch up with a frown.

Where am I going to take my lunch?

You thought as you travelled down the building with a frown. Not really paying attention, you bumped into Jacob, another 8th grade teacher, who somehow has not even shown his face in the 2nd floor lounge since he began teaching at Abbott. You weren’t even sure he knew your name.

"Hey, Y/N!” Well, he certainly did know your name. “Where are you going?”

Giving Jacob a nervous smile, you held up your lunch bag. “A place for lunch.” This had Jacob raising his eyebrows in curiosity. So, you decided to ease his mind and answered the unasked question. “The 2nd floor teachers are having a farewell party for Mrs. Microft, and since the woman clearly hates me—” You and Jacob walked down the stairs towards the 1st floor lounge. “I decided that stressing her with my face was too much, even for Satan’s cousin.”

Jacob nodded his head as you told him what happened; he didn’t even know that he was leading you to the 1st floor lounge. When you stopped talking, both of you were faced with the lounge’s door. “Well, we’re already at the front of the 1st floor lounge; you can take your lunch here. Although I would warn you—” He opened the door and motioned for you to step closer. “Mr. Morton takes his lunch here, so if he bothers you, just turn your head in another direction.”

Stepping inside, you nodded your head at Jacob. You weren’t really sure as to why he would warn you about Mr. Morton, because the science teacher is a softie towards certain people, and that includes you. "Sure, Mr. Hill, thank you for the heads-up.” The first person you saw inside was, of course, Mr. Morton, who stood up and walked towards you.

Crossing his arms, Mr. Morton raised an eyebrow. “Well, well, well. Look at who the bird brought in.” A minute went by, and Jacob had his breath on hold as he watched Mr. Morton eye you up and down. Yet, as you reciprocated the action towards Mr. Morton, the science teacher gave you a smile and a pat on the shoulder, then went back towards his seat.

Jacob released his breath and huffed before taking your shoulders and guiding you towards his, Janine's, and Gregory’s table. “I knew this seat was going to be taken soon!” He motioned for you to sit down in between him and Janine.

The moment you sat down, Janine was all over you like ants on sugar. “Hi! I’m Janine, Miss Teauges, but you already know that—I'm one of the second grade teachers.” To be honest, you didn’t even know her name, so you were grateful that she said it. “This is Gregory, the first grade teacher. He was a sub before being permanent; apparently, he just waited for the students to warm up to him before telling Ava he wanted to apply for the position permanently." You noticed that Janine waved her hands a lot when she told a story. Gregory tended to just listen to her, even when she spoke over him.

Ah, he’s in love.

However, on the other table, Melissa and Barbara can tell you were getting irritated at Janine’s incessant babbling. And before you decide to stand up and leave the room, Barabara chooses to intervene. "Ah, Janine. I doubt Miss...”

Turning your head and giving Barbara your attention, you replied. “L/N. Y/N L/N. 8th grade teacher, arts.”

Barbara gave you a nod and continued. “I doubt Ms. L/N is interested in how Gregory decided to apply for a permanent position.” With this, Janine gave Barbara a tight-lipped smile and leaned against her chair. Giving Janine a glance, you offered Barbara a grateful nod. “Oh, I’m Mrs. Howard, kindergarten teacher.”

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Howard.” You gave her a blinding smile and turned to the other teacher beside Barbara. “And Mrs.” The redheaded teacher beside Barbara looked at you with a raised eyebrow and smirked.

“Schemmenti. Melissa Schemmenti. You call me Ms. Schemmenti, capisce?” Melissa—Ms. Schemmenti pointed at you using her fork, making your eyes widen. Giving the redhead a nervous smile, you dug into your lunch box and grabbed your lunch.

Giving her friend a glance at her odd behavior, Barbara cleared her throat and turned back to you. “So, Y/N, why haven’t we seen you before? How many years have you been working here at Abbott?”

Tearing your gaze from Melissa, you gave Barbara a smile as you unpacked your lunch. “Ah, I’ve been here for five years. I teach 8th grade art, so I always spend my time in my classroom.” You finished explaining before taking a bite of your chicken salad.

Melissa watched you as you took a bite of the chicken out of your salad and scrunched up her nose. “Is that Parisian Chicken Salad?” The redhead leaned her back against the table while scrutinizing your lunch.

You finished chewing the chicken before giving her a reply. “Uh, yes.” You gave her a frown while taking your water bottle out of your bag. “You French?” With her assumption, you choked on your water and coughed. Fortunately, you didn’t spit any of it on the table or towards Janine, who watched you banter with Melissa.

Shaking your head frantically, you replied. “No. I just... like French food.” Your answer made Melissa purse her lips and turn her back to you.

Noticing the change in the atmosphere, Jacob asked. “So, Y/N, you didn’t answer Barbara’s question completely.” This made you look at Jacob with gratification in your eyes. As you were about to answer, Mr. Morton beat you to it.

"Y/N, are you down here because of Mrs. Microft?” Mr. Morton asked you without looking up from his phone. The information brought up made Melissa look up from her phone and towards you with an eyebrow raised.

Clearing your throat, you nodded sheepishly. “Uh-huh. Apparently the teachers upstairs are throwing a farewell party for her.” You glanced at Barbara and Melissa to see their reaction. Both of them harbored a shocked expression at what you said. Giving a shrug in their direction, you continued. “Yeah, and because Mrs. Microft doesn’t really like me—” You leaned forward. “She always frowns when she sees my face.” You leaned back. “I thought I'd give her the day and leave her alone.”

Mr. Morton waved your worries aside and scoffed. “If I were you, I wouldn’t give that old hag the satisfaction of having a peaceful day.” Now, he turned his phone off and leaned back against the couch, then looked at you. “Remember that day when you found your paint brushes cut to pieces and broken into two?” You nodded at this.

Remembering that day, you walked into your classroom to find all of the paint brushes that the children had used the day before were either broken or ruined to oblivion. After cleaning the brushes up and wiping your tears while doing so, you talked to Ava to let her see the CCTV tape just outside your classroom, but she told you that the CCTV cameras didn’t work on the second floor. The talk only lasted for five minutes before Ava kicked you out, and Mr. Johnson found you crying in the janitor’s closet. That’s how you formed a bond with the janitor; the whole day you spent your vacancies with him, learning why and how the songs in the panel box were only from Boyz II Men. Though you didn’t get to know his first name that day.

“What does it have to do with Mrs. Microft?” Jacob gave Mr. Morton an exasperated look. The question also made you frown until you pieced it together.

“That fucking bitch.” You slammed your fist on the table, shocking Janine and Gregory and making Jacob jump.

“Woah there, language, missy.” Barbara waved her hands towards you in an attempt to calm you down.

“Je brûlerai ses affaires, puis je la ferai regarder du deuxième étage.” I will burn her things down, then have her watch it from up on the second floor.

“And you tell me you aren’t French, french fry.” Melissa gave you a smirk, putting her chin on her hand and watching you flare up with anger.

Choosing to ignore Melissa’s teasing, you packed up your lunch without finishing it and stood up. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” You asked Mr. Morton. In return, he gave you a shrug and went back to his phone. Letting out a scoff, you stomped towards the door to leave.

“Where are you going?” You heard Jacob shout as you grabbed the door handle.

“To burn her things down.” Then you left. Although you did try to close the door brusquely, the latch didn’t let you.

As you left, you didn’t notice Melissa’s gaze towards you turn from interest to pure adoration. But Barbara, knowing her friend, noticed everything. Yet she let Melissa turn to face her fully before giving the redhead a light kick on the shin. “What?” Melissa whispered.

“You like her.”

This made Melissa frown and give Barbara an incredulous look, then replied. “Given how she responded to the information that Mrs. Microft was ruining her things, I do like her.”

Shaking her head, Barbara gave Melissa a playful smile and leaned towards the redhead. “You like like her.”

Barbara’s sentence made Melissa shake her head frantically. “No! I just like her as a future friend.” But Melissa’s reply only made Barbara’s grin widen.

“That’s what she said.”

Protecting French Fry (2)

[seafoamreadings]

once again i am having a ridiculously busy summer, lol

accidentally got some extra jobs but need the money because i have some major electronics i crucially need to replace (which by the way, you can help out with by purchasing a reading from me or just providing a tip/gift). eg in mercury retrograde i bricked a laptop by accidentally plugging in my scooter charger like a fool -___- and my phone is getting elderly and starting to have some concerning battery trouble. anyway neither of those are cheap. i do make some money from this work here, but typically not enough for these kinds of things. SO for the month of may my goal is to stock up the queue as far in advance as possible so that i do not spend much time writing horoscopes in june, july, and august. the posts i make here help me too, so so much, so i don't want to stop them entirely during this period.

then i will be closing private readings and no longer queuing much if anything. i will start that in june (not sure what day, but the 1st is a sunday so that may be convenient) and re-open in late august or possibly even september. of course i will keep everyone posted on these decisions.

letting you all know in advance so you can get any private readings etc you want before then! i will still be a little bit active here, i can never really quit lol, so asks and such are welcome although i reserve the right to not answer them (i will probably just take a long time to answer.)

paid content such as that offered on patreon will continue as normal. any readings purchased before that time but incomplete at that time will also obviously be finished, too.

thanks for being here, i appreciate that some of you can only stick around for the free content and i am just delighted that i get to share anything at all with you <3

[moonsgemini]

seeking arrangements - iv

summary: With just two days left of before the wedding the celebrations continue. Going to a bachelorette & bachelor party when you’re a fake couple might cause some issues. Especially when Lola can’t seem to stop taking tequila shots & the liquid might have given her too much courage.

warnings: escort!rafe x oc, alcohol, angst, insecurities, fluff, thomas (he deserves a warning), shitty family, kissing

wc: 5.1k

an: I’m gonna be real I kinda hate this part, I feel like I lacked in every aspect lol. But it is done, & there’s two more parts to goooo. ALSO HELP I cannot get my comments to work. Like I can’t reply to people or comment on other peoples posts. It’s on in my settings I’m pretty sure so idk what I’m doing wrong.

series masterlist - previous part

“What’s on the agenda today?” Rafe asked before taking a bite of his bagel.

Lola was sitting next to him squinting at her laptop. She may have had the week off from work but she couldn’t help but try and catch up on some pieces that needed to be read. She hadn’t felt focused enough the last few days to try and squeeze in any work because she’d been so anxious. After the engagement party and the boat day she felt a lot more relaxed. Rafe managed to put a sense of calm over her.

After they got home from the party they spent the rest of the night in bed watching another movie. This one was Rafe’s pick. He made her watch The Godfather, but they didn’t really pay too much attention. Lola kept asking questions during the film and of course Rafe answered all of them. Never once did he get upset at her for talking during the movie, something Thomas hated that she did. The conversation ended up leading to them talking about everything. Rafe opened up a lot more to her and she felt closer to him.

It scared her because it meant that even if they continue to be friends after this she’ll never have him in the way she wants. When this whole thing began Lola was unsure about it because what if she got caught but she never thought that there’d be a possibility she’d fall in love with the guy. Of course it had to be Rafe that she reached out to, the most perfect guy.

“Ummm we have the bachelor and bachelorette parties today. Girls are going to one bar and guys are going to another,” She turned to him giving him a weak smile. This is the first time they’ll really be separated from each other.

Rafe groaned, “I have to be with those frat boys all night.”

She threw her head back laughing, “They aren’t that bad. Well except for you know who, he’s that bad.”

“Oh they are that bad sweetheart,” He took a sip of his coffee before continuing, “Except Harry, he’s been pretty decent. I don’t know why you ran with these crowds.”

“Please I only saw them when we came here because they’re all my sisters friends or Harry’s. They met them in college.”

“Explains why you and Tabitha are the coolest,” Rafe smirked at her. She rolled her eyes playfully turning back to the laptop in front of her.

“So that’s why my ears were ringing,” Tabitha said as she walked into the kitchen.

“Good morning to you Tabs,” Lola grinned watching her cousin pour herself a big mug of coffee.

Rafe chuckled, “Went a little too hard yesterday?”

“Possibly,” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the supplies for a bagel.

“Hey you better be able to go out later I’m not doing that alone,” Lola scolded.

Tabitha sat in the seat in front of her, “Relax I’ll make it. Takes me back to college, drunk every weekend.”

“Okay so what am I supposed to do with these guys for a whole night?” Rafe was not excited at all for the bachelor party. Ever since the boat conversations he’s been trying to avoid them. Everything was a dick riding contest to them.

Tabitha waves her bagel around, “Just get drunk, talk about sports too.”

“Getting drunk does sound promising,” he shrugged.

Lola laughed, “You can also talk about finance, you know they love that stuff.”

Tabitha nodded her head, “I’m always having to tell Andrew to shut up when he starts giving me financial advice.”

“I definitely don’t need financial advice. Sometimes I’m glad I don’t have many friends. The less friends or people close to you the better,” Rafe shrugged.

“You two really are made for each other,” Tabitha said looking between the two with a playful grin.

-

Lola had come up with a plan. Maybe it was a stupid plan and would end horribly or it could go amazingly. She was going to go out and take a few shots to earn that liquid courage before ubering home if Rafe was back and then try to seduce him. She couldn’t stand being around him and not be able to touch him.

Of course they did subtle stuff to convince her family, but it was never enough. When he’d place his hand on the small of her back to guide her around the engagement party her body felt ablaze. Her fingers itched to run through his hair and pull him closer. They hadn’t kissed since the boat and her lips ached for his. She missed his soft touch, the things he would make her feel with something so simple as his hand on the back of her neck.

Sleeping next to him at night was the hardest. He slept shirtless and it was incredibly distracting. There had been moments where she’d wake up to his arm around her, his nose tucked into the back of her neck. Rafe knew what he was doing, he’d blame it on him doing it in his sleep. He was really like half asleep and she just looked so cute and soft laying there he couldn’t help himself. If she moved away or anything he would have pulled away but she never did.

He was very disappointed that he wouldn’t really get to hangout with her tonight when their time playing boyfriend and girlfriend was almost over. He’d rather spend the day at the beach with her than drinking with a bunch of guys he didn’t know.

He was sitting outside on the deck going through his emails while thinking about the girl that was inside. Lola insisted on making margaritas for them to pregame. They didn’t have to leave until six so they had time to just relax. Lola came out with glasses and a pitcher of the alcoholic drink.

“Woah there cowboy, we’re gonna finish all that?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Well we can try, or it will just go to waste.” She smirked shrugging. Sitting down next to him she began to pour the watermelon margaritas into the glasses. He smiled at her just looking at her. Rafe liked watching her just do stuff.

“What?” She asked with a nervous laugh. His blue eyes made her nervous because when he looked at her she felt like he was actually looking at her. Not the girl everyone thought was weak because of her breakup. Not the girl that lets everyone walk all over her.

He shrugged, “Nothing, just like looking at you.”

She looked away from his tense gaze, a small grin forming at her lips. It was hard to deny the fact that he didn’t have an effect on her, “You’re too much.” she said because it was true. Everything about him was so overwhelming.

“So Rafe what’s your next job after this one? Or should I say who is your next job?”

He adjusted in his seat. Scrunching his nose as he looked out at the backyard, “Uh no one right now. I-I don’t know I’ve been thinking of retiring.”

“Woah really?” She looked over at him a bit shocked.

“Yeah this week has given me a new perspective you could say,” he took a drink from his margarita.

“How so?” She asked her voice quieter now.

He shrugged, “I guess I just realized I want more. I don’t want to be a paid companion anymore, I want to be just a companion.”

Butterflies of hope flew around in her stomach. Lola’s delusions were starting to get the best of her. Maybe it’s because of me, she thought. Rafe takes her silence as not a good sign.

He feels like maybe he had said too much and scared her away, “Uh so I’ll probably try and get myself out there more. Ya know when we get back to the city. Find a girl finally go on dates.”

The butterflies were crushed at those words. Find a girl. Those words hurt her but she couldn’t show it. Rafe could read her better than anyone even though he’s only known her for a month. Her furrowed brows and the way she couldn’t look at him gave her away. He knew what he said hurt her, maybe he had been reading everything wrong.

She cleared her throat to try and get rid of the lump in her throat, “That’s uh great Rafe. I-I think that sounds great.” She smiled at him the best she could. Lola started chugging the rest of her margarita not really in the mood to sit and drink with him.

He watched her with concern. Rafe wanted to shove his words back into his mouth to get that pretty smile back on her face “Lola I..”

“I-I’m gonna go and get ready now. I’ll see you in a bit okay Rafe,” She gave her another fake smile before walking back inside.

“Fuck,” He muttered rubbing his face out of frustration with himself.

The whole time Rafe felt like he thought he knew what she wanted. She had even asked to just be friends after this. He didn’t want to overstep and tell her the real reason why he wants to give all this up. It was because of Lola, he wants her by his side. He liked the way she made him feel and he loved the person he brought out in her. He loved protecting her from people who don’t deserve her.

-

Lola was beginning to think her plan was going to end horribly. Especially after what he had said. She felt like things were maybe going somewhere with him. She has had more fun the whole week than she’s had her whole life. And she knows it’s because she’s had him by her side.

She looked over herself in the mirror. She felt hot, she felt like she could go through with her plan to seduce Rafe. Yet it wasn’t enough because that voice was still in her head telling her that he doesn’t like want her more than a friend. Or even possibly more than a client. Her outfit consisted of a black mini skirt and olive green long sleeve that had a small pink bow in the middle of the square neckline. She also wore black boots that made her legs look longer, her makeup and hair were done. She felt amazing on the outside but on the inside her insecurities were starting to take over her thoughts.

Rafe had been in the shower while she changed into her outfit. They hadn’t spoken much since he came back to the room. Things seemed a bit tense, a sort of unspoken tension between them.

Lola was switching purses to one that would better match her outfit when Rafe opened the door to the bathroom. He stepped out in nothing but a light blue towel around his waist. His chest and stomach still slightly damp from the hot shower. He had been looking down at his phone. Lola looked up at him from where she stood and gulped at his appearance. He was not making this easy.

“What should I wear? I’m guessing polos and khakis is the bar dress code,” He smirked putting his phone down and going to his side of the closet to look through the shirts he brought. He glanced back at her and stopped skimming through his shirts. He wished she didn’t look so incredible, how was he supposed to spend the night away from her when she looked like that.

He looked her over his eyes moving slowly taking in every detail, “You look unreal,” he said once he met her eyes.

Lola gave him a shy smile as a blush creeped up her neck, “Thank you, and uh you should just wear a button up and some black pants. Casual but nice.”

He just nodded his head only half paying attention. Rafe couldn’t concentrate when she was standing across the room looking like his future wife. He snapped out of his thoughts at the word wife. She was really doing something to him if he was thinking about marriage. He looked through his shirts and decided on a green jacket and black carhartt pants. Grabbing his clothes he went back into the bathroom to change.

Lola felt like she could breathe again. Having to watch the muscles in his back flex as he grabbed his shirt was too much. Especially since his skin was sun kissed from the day before she just wanted to run her hands all over him. He walked out of the bathroom and she clenched her fists. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“You look handsome,” Lola said as she started to think about all the women that would get to see Rafe tonight. Jealousy took over her as she thought about how she couldn’t be by his side all night to show people that he was with her.

“Thank you sweetheart.” She was going to kill him.

“Alright lets go,” She sighed and began walking out the door.

“I’m not going go drink tonight so I can drop you off and even pick you up,” Rafe said following behind her.

“Okay, you decided on not drinking?”

“Yeah I just don’t really feel like being drunk with a bunch of people I don’t know. I also want to make sure you’re safe,” He shrugged and opened the front door for her.

Lola turned to him before walking out the door. Standing almost toe to toe, he was much taller than her. She was feeling intimidated but she tried her best not to show it. But like always he could read her so easily. He could see the her fingers twitch and her breathing pick up a little more.

“You’re kind of frustrating Mr. Cameron,” She said with a sigh, her eyes squinting teasingly at him.

“What am I doing?” He asked pretending to be clueless.

She ignored him not wanting to answer him, “Come on we can’t be late.”

The drive there was comfortable quiet. The tense atmosphere from earlier now gone. Rafe pulled into a parking lot on the main street and parking. He had been struggling since he first saw Lola. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

There were a lot of people on the main street going to the different shops, restaurants, and bars. It was a popular area in the summer. Rafe walked around her to walk on the side closest to the street, and hgrabbed her hand so he wouldn’t lose her in the throngs of people.

“Where are we going?” He asked her following her lead.

“The girls are going to Porter’s and the guys are going to Birdie’s. Porter’s is right there,” She pointed at a bar a few shops down, “And then Birdies is across the street.” She pointed at another bar on the other side of the street.

“Ah so we’re close to each other,” Rafe smirked liking the idea that she’d be close by in case she needed anything.

“Mhmm I think all the girls are there already.”

“If you want to leave early for any reason call me okay? I’ll be right over,” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Okay Rafe,” She smiled. Once they got to the front of the bar the bridesmaids immediately spotted them since they were all sitting on the patio out front.

“My favorite couple!” Penny shouted as she saw the pair walk up.

“Took you guys long enough. I wonder what you guys were doing that made you laaaate,” Tabitha said teasingly.

“Tabi!” Lola exclaimed.

Penny turned to Rafe, “Hurry and let your girl go so we can get drunk!”

“Alright alright,” Rafe said and turned Lola to face him. He cupped her cheek, “call if you need anything. Have fun and be safe.”

“Always,” She said breathlessly because his eyes kept going down to her lips. She knew what was coming and she couldn’t be more excited.

Rafe leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips, he didn’t want to do too much since they were in public but he wanted to show everyone that this was his girl. He pulled away only to go in one more time, she smiled against his lips.

“Rafe,” She laughed pushing him away playfully.

“Sorry babe couldn’t help myself,” He shrugged with a lopsided smile that made her want to kiss him a million more times.

“I’ll see you later,” She squeezed his hand before pulling away to walk onto the patio.

“Bye,” He waved at her and all the other girls who had been watching them.

“Byyye,” They all said in synch with laughs

Tabitha turned to Lola as she sat down next to her, “Girl that man is obsessed with you.”

“I really hope so,” She laughed. The girls not knowing the way she really meant it.

“Okay ladies lets drink!” Penny said clapping her hands, “Tonight in honor of me we’re having tequila!”

“This is going to be the best night!” Olivia laughed excitedly.

-

Rafe arrived to the bar the guys were at, he walked inside and spotted the group around a table in the back. He walked over and Harry immediately spotted him.

“Rafe! Dude you made it,” Harry said getting up to greet him.

“Of course, just had to drop off Lola.” Rafe walked over to the empty seat between Mateo and Josh. Thomas say directly in front of him.

“Hey what’s up man,” Josh greeted followed by the rest of them Thomas only nodding at Rafe to not some completely rude. Rafe found it amusing how much he pissed Thomas off. He liked it.

“I’m gonna go get another round. What are you drinking Rafe?” Josh asked him.

“uh just water, I’m driving tonight.”

“Shoulda ubered man.”

-

It was nearly midnight now and Rafe wanted to leave. He had bern having a good time for a while but now all the guys were pretty drunk and he just wanted to be with Lola. He hadn’t heard from her all night which he took as a good sign. The guys were playing pool now, some of the single grooms men were flirting with some women at the bar.

“You ever miss that?” Harry asked him as he lined up his stick with the white ball.

“What? Flirting?”

He nodded his head, “Yeah like picking up girls at bars.”

Rafe shook his head, “Not at all. I like Lola a lot.”

“I feel the same about Penny. Guess it’d be bad if I didn’t since we’re getting married,” He laughed patting Rafe on the back.

“You guys are sooo whipped,” Thomas laughed.

“And what about it?” Harry slurred.

Thomas shrugged his hooded eyes meeting Rafes, “The same boring girl forever? The same average pussy forever? noooo thanks.”

“I’m convinced you’ve never actually talked to a woman. I think you just like women who don’t like you,” Rafe shook his head with a smirk.

“Hey all girls love me. Look at me,” He stood straighter and smirked. Rafe wanted to hysterically laugh but he held it in. He started to feel a vibrating in his pocket. He pulled his phone out and saw Lola’s name across the screen.

“Saved by the bell,” He said before walking away to a quieter area, “Hello?”

“Rafeyyyy,” Lola sang on the other end of the line.

He shook his head with a fond smile on his lips, “This is him. What’s up sweetheart?”

“I’m ready to go Rafey. I wanna see you,” She said breathlessly.

For the last few hours the girls had moved to inside the bar where they drank too many shots of tequila and danced. Penny even did karaoke at some point. Lola was actually enjoying herself and she might have enjoyed it too much. She was definitely drunk by now which meant her plan to seduce Rafe sounds like a very good plan.

“God he’s just so hot,” Lola said her chin resting in her palms as she leaned on the bar. She was currently talking to the bartender and Tabitha.

“He is incredibly hot,” Tabitha agreed, “You should see him, he’s like one of those stone statues of the guys with the abs.”

Lola laughed loudly, “he does look like that. Beautiful. You know he’s a really good kisser.” Her brain started to get even fuzzier as she thought of the kisses from earlier.

“Call him girl, get your man.” Tabitha encouraged as shebsaw the look in her cousin’s eyes.

“I will,” That’s when she had decided to call him and let him take her home.

“You’re drunk huh?” He asked with a teasing tone.

She faked a gasp, “I would want to see you even if I weren’t drunk thank you very much. Especially when wow,” She sighed dreamily, “Especially when you look the way you do tonight.”

Rafe had quickly and quietly bid goodbye to the guys as he all but sprinted out of there to get Lola. He knew she was drunk and he didn’t want her to go outside by herself.

“I’m coming sweetheart, did you have fun?”

“Very much of it,” She smiled to herself.

“I’m outside now,” He as as he was getting closer.

She squealed, “Coming!” She hung up the phone and ran outside before Rafe could even made it to the walkway up to the bar doors.

She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him tightly, “Missed you.” Lola nuzzled her head into his neck breathing in the smell of his cologne.

“I missed you,” He had hugged her back and was stroking her hair with one of his hands, “Let’s get you home babe.”

“Kiss?” She asked looking up at him with those doe eyes. How could he say no? He was eager to do anything for her, to please her. He was there to fulfill all her needs how could he ever deny her?

“anything for you,” He mumbled leaning down and kissing her. He wanted it to be a soft kiss but when her fingers went into his hair and tugged him closer he couldn’t hold back. She kissed him hard and he was of course going to reciprocate. Their lips moved together in perfect synch yet a little messily. She wanted him and it wasn’t just because she was drunk.

Rafe was reminded of what she had been doing earlier when he started tasting the tequila on her tongue. He pulled away and kissed one more time softly, “Let’s go home.”

She nodded her head in a dizzy trance. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Lola wrapped her arms around his waist and happily hummed. She was practically leaning her whole body weight on him and it wasn’t even phasing him.

“So how many shots did you take huh?”

“Ohhhh just a few. And a couple tequila sodas.” She laughed.

They reached his car and he helped get her in, making sure she didn’t hit her head. He buckled her in, she just watched him with a dopey smile. Rafe jogged over to his side.

The ride was once again filled with comfortable silence. Mostly because Lola had fallen asleep. Rafe heard her light snores and smiled to himself. Once they got back to the house Rafe rushed over to get her. He ended up having to find her house key and then carry her inside.

He was glad he didn’t drink tonight because he gets to spend the night taking care of Lola. Once he’s walking through their bedroom door the girl in his arms starts stirring awake. He laid her down on the bed as she opened her eyes. Squinting as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Rafe you brought me up,” She mumbled and sat up on the bed. The sleep had sobered her up a bit. Enough to remember to take her makeup off and brush her teeth.

“Of course I did. You need anything?” He sat next to her rubbing her back.

“I’m gonna wash my face,” She mumbled rubbing her eyes, “Can you get me water and ibuprofen please. It’s in the cupboard on the left of the fridge.”

“I’ll be back,” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her head. He went downstairs to get whatever she needed. Rafe also took it upon himself to make her a grilled cheese and bacon knowing she hadn’t eaten since earlier in the day. The greasy food will help her feel better in the morning.

Lola washed her face and brushed her teeth. Feeling more sober and clean. She hadn’t drank that much in a while and now that she was older it hit her harder and worse. She went to her dresser to look for pajamas. Her eyes lit up when they came across the small floral tank top and matching boy short underwear. They were long enough to be considered very short sleep shorts. The part of her brain that was still a little drink was screaming at her to pick that set.

Her plan from earlier coming back to her. She didn’t think twice and grabbed them going to change. Lola looked like she was barely wearing any clothes, just what she wanted. If Rafe felt something for her then he would make a move on her or not reject her if she tried first. And she was almost positive that he did feel something for her. She fixed her hair a bit and put on some more lotion and deodorant.

“I brought you food too,” Rafe said as he entered the room. When she heard him shut the door she stepped out of the bathroom.

He looked up at her and froze. There she was standing in front of him in practically nothing. His hands were itching to touch her. The curves of her body and her pretty bare face were doing too much to him.

He cleared his throat and looked away going back to pulling the covers back, “I uh made you a grilled cheese and some bacon.” He motioned to the food on her nightstand. She smiled at him and mumbled a thanks. Lola walked over to her side and sat on the bed.

As she ate Rafe put on a movie for her before he went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. While he was gone Lola was giving herself a pep talk. She could do this, she’s almost 100% sure that he won’t reject her. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. She quickly finished her food before he came out and got herself ready adjusting her pajamas and her fixing her hair.

He stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but sweatpants. Lola took a deep breath as he sat down next to her.

“You feel better?” He asked looking over at her.

“Yeah I am, thanks for the food.” She turned to lay on her side, holding up her head on her hand.

He mimicked her position, “You’re welcome, how did your night go?”

“Hmmm it was good. The girls are crazy. I miss you though wish I had you by my side,” She said trying to give him her best puppy dog eyes.

Rafe swallowed hard, “Yeah? I missed you. What’s tomorrow’s plan?”

She shuffled closer to him, “Tomorrow we have family brunch and then rehearsal dinner. Then it’s the big day.”

He reached forward and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, “Easy last couple days then.”

She sighed deeply, “mhmm can I ask you a question?”

“Always.”

“So do you make all your clients feel like this?”

He tilted his head questioningly, “Like how?”

She shrugged looking at the white sheets under her, “Like they’re the only girl in the world.”

Rafe’s heart had started to pick up speed the closer she got. He didn’t know what game she was playing but it was a very dangerous one. He looked at the tv afraid that if he looked at her any longer he would do something he would regret.

“I think I like only making you feel that way,” He mumbled as he continued watching the movie.

“Rafe?” Lola asked in whisper.

“Yeah?” He finally turned to her and she was a lot closer than before.

Instead of answering him she cupped his face and leaned in kissing him softly. Slightly hesitant in case he didn’t want this, but then he cupped her face and pulled her in harder. She sighed satisfied with his response. Rafe felt like his lungs were going to explode, she was so suffocating in the best way. He grabbed her thigh and pulled it so that she was now on top of him. The very minimal clothes they had on made them be even closer.

Lola tugged on his hair as she arched her back slightly to get closer to him. Rafe ran his hands all over her, touching wherever her could. This was much better than he imagined. Yes they’d kissed a few times but it was never just them and it wasn’t like this.

When Rafe’s lips moved down to her neck he came to a realization. She had been drinking earlier and he’s pretty sure she’s at least tipsy still. He pulled away gently resting his forehead against hers.

He cleared his throat and quietly spoke up, “Sweetheart I can’t.”

Lola pulled away a little. Confusion taking over her features, “I-I thought you..” Her face flushed in humiliation. Had he read his body language wrong? Had she interrupted his words wrong?

“No no Lola I want to, but you’ve been drinking and I think you should be sober. I don’t sleep with drunk women,” Rafe tried to reassure but his last sentence made her nauseous.

She sat back farther, “But it’s me Rafe. It’s not some random client that paid for you.”

Rafe laughed softly not really reading the tension in the room. He thought she was just messing around, “Babe you paid for me.”

Lola rolled her eyes and got off of him, “Yeah you’re right, I’m really tired.”

“Lola,” Rafe said knowing something was wrong.

“Rafe I’m tired can we just not,” She mumbled as she tucked herself under the covers. Her back towards him so he couldn’t see her biting her quivering lip. Had Rafe just been doing all of this and acting this way because it was his job? She couldn’t blame him but Lola swore she saw something between them for just a split second.

Rafe watched her for a few seconds before turning off the lights and laying back. He had fucked it up somehow and he was going to do everything possible to make it up to her.

He had to fix it.

-

tags: @rosal1nd , @magicwithaknife , @f4ll-for-you, @hotch-meeeeeuppppp, @loveu-always , @weareatthebadlands

(if you would like to be tagged or removed let me know!)

(also if you already asked me & I missed you I am so sorry pls send another message)

[lynyangell]

1, 9 and 14 for the fic ask game for Stolen Moments if you don't mind :)

If I don't mind?? PLEASE. Thank you for giving me a chance to yap!! I will always love yapping about this series

For Stolen Moments:

What inspired you to write the fic this way?

It was an accident in a way lol. I wrote "It Matters to Me" as a standalone. Then I wrote an early version of "Like We Never Loved at All" as a companion piece. Then early versions of a few others ("How Far?", "Bleeding Love" and "Things We Lost" I think). This was all 15+ years ago. I randomly opened the files on my laptop and picked it up again... and the ideas were just there. I had all these thoughts about the subtext between them and what could have been their backstory at different moments. And then in listening to music I kept having ideas about how this song just *fits*. And it all just snowballed!

9. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Actually, yes! I have an incomplete version of Stolen Moments based on FMA03, too! I hope to finish it someday, give Royai the fix-it they deserve there.

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from this fic?

Thank you for asking that question, from the bottom of my heart, sincerely. IRL I am a mental health counselor. One of my favorite sayings is "everybody has their own shit". What I mean by that is that everyone in the world has their own traumas (big, small, in between in doesn't matter) that make up the lens through which they see the world.

And that's okay.

It's different for everyone, but we literally all have that lens. Finding a lifelong partner with whom you can share that lens, when you can look through it *together* and share one another's perspective, when they allow you to look through their lens in return... there's so much hope and healing available in that. It takes an incredible amount of vulnerability, but I believe it is genuinely possible for anyone who is willing to put the work into it.

If Roy and Riza can learn to do this in "Stolen Moments" (and I genuinely hope it feels realistic and possible that they do) then I think the rest of us can in the real world. It takes a lot for them to become vulnerable with each other. They each have hard work to do on themselves, individually, and they learn to support each other through that.

It's all about the hope and healing. I hope that readers will learn that those things are possible for them, too. *cue me ugly crying and hiding in a corner, thanks*

[inconsideratekidney]

11/8/24

hey y'all

what the fuck. um. yeah, what the fuck.

what are y'all's plans for the next 4 years?

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i truly hate when professors ask basic questions like we're in elementary school. why are you babying me before you treat me like a well-respected researcher?? we're asked a dumb easy question, dumber than what we should already know, then we're asked to do something way out of our experience and what we should be expected to know.

this happens to me in multiple classes and i'm still so shocked

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today is friday i know, but i have been catching up on a lot of work things n such. i have also finally had time to sit down and play the sims, on my laptop and tablet, and i feel more calm now. my grades have finally improved (not that i've bumped up some of those failing grades bc my prof hates everyone and doesn't allow resubmissions), but we still have like 4 weeks, so i just have to keep it up now. i'm feeling better, and would like to continue to do better.

picking classes for next semester feels like a doozy, i'm dropping one of my majors to make it a minor and that means i'll graduate next next spring? ew. gross. i have to fix that or something.

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i created some of my friends in the sims and myself, all in my eyes of course. i didn't want to do it based on pictures, i just did it from memory. i made everyone based on how i see them and myself as how i want to see myself...they came out pretty good, i want to keep going making more, but so far i made people i know the best. we'll see where i end up. i might just end up making a house full of interpreters....lol

i have so many ideas for what to build--i focus more on building, but creating sims is fun as well, just not my most favorite--i want to build so many complex things, but it's so hard to start and my computer can barely handle it.

i'd love some ideas for what to build, for example, right now i am planning on making a house that technically has one room, but has split levels. i've seen youtube shorts on them and i've pasted the video below if you're interested, but they are so interesting even if every video i see they always forget a bathroom. i love doing challenges as well, like the plumbella challenge, and there's another one similar. they generate random style, color, theme, etc. and give you rules and a specific amount of money you can use. you also always get one setback, like you can't use cheats, or you can only use certain items from one pack or just base game, or that you have to do it only from birds' eye view... they are all so fun. i also want to finish making my mansion i am currently working on. it's so big and it's so hard to fill every space...

i also wanted to build a beach house, one of the videos i've also linked below, based on a reference i saw. it reminds me of where my family goes on vacation--those big beach houses we never stayed in cuz they're so god awfully expensive. they are so cool to look up on zillow or other rental websites. like big dream homes. i'd love to build a beach home eventually.

videos:

micro apartment 1:

https://youtube.com/shorts/RlauAXoxtls?si=DKH1FTDpkCid3Gv5

micro apartment 2:

https://youtube.com/shorts/kbdseYjig4s?si=Z-mbMA1OrnbwFdo7

coastal house:

https://youtube.com/shorts/VKC0h-6sSeI?si=LpiDh13v2yj1jbC5

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i type "i" way too much. all i do is talk about myself and reflect on myself and how much i talk. obviously, this is my blog, but i always feel that i overshare and should shift my attention to more pressing matters. alas, i am in my existential identity stage of life--early adulthood, so i don't feel all too bad. and for the possible 3 or 4 of you reading, i'm sure you're used to this and you're still choosing to come back, so i can ease my anxiety on that one. i still talk about myself in general way too much. i harp on this because i know other people are experiencing life for the first time as well--i'd love to let others have thr spotlight whenever possible. although, i do take way longer to process my life happenings than most it seems, so i prefer to process in my own way. i enjoy having a platform to share my insanities on. i do still get sick of myself, though.

anyway, my point is anxiety ruins my life and it affects me everyday whether it is desired or not. (see what i did there i eliminated every possible "i" i could have used in that sentence and then i used many "i"'s in this sentence cuz i like being self-aware and illuminating my hyper fixations like the freak i am.)

it is also apparent that reading can be much more enjoyable when the author isn't constantly saying "i did this" or "i did that." sentences and ideas can be easily digested by using the third person, or even an unidentifiable "it." when something happens and you mess up and want to apologize, what do you say?:

"I'm sorry I upset you."

or "I'm sorry you are upset."

one is more self-aware and puts the blame on oneself, but isn't the other as well? regardless of what one person does, the other could be upset by that specifically or not. you could alternatively say:

"I'm sorry what I said/did upset you."

or even "I'm sorry you are upset because of my actions."

which sounds better? which is most "correct"? which one feels more authentic?

i experienced this first when my mother told me i had to say "I'm sorry I upset you." it pissed me off because i didn't do anything crazy (in my eyes) and she still got upset, but in those situations, you have to do what your mother says even if her asking you to reword and acknowledge you upset her upsets you in the process...

see what i did there again? i used "you," i love writing. oftentimes i still use "i" because it is the most accurate statement. why else would i do it? i could sit and write more and more about things that happen and affect me, but not using "i" defeats the purpose. you could think i am talking about something else totally different. it's more short and concise. why say many word when few word do trick, amirite? and with that this section is concluded with the idea that my emphasis on myself is the whole reason i sit down and write a blog. (ew, not me starting with "and" writing about something trying to be more formal. ew.)

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lol. lol is the best word for my life. it's the easiest thing to use. so simple, when there aren't emoji options -> lol, when the setting is uncomfortable -> lol, when i don't know how to end a sentence without a period -> lol, when i want to appear less rude or direct -> lol, when i don't feel like you can tell i'm making a funny -> lol, when you're making a funny -> lol. it's simple.

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anyshways, how is everyone's day going, how was your week?

this week had some things happen...but first trans woman for the house!! yipee!! i hadn't heard much else so far tbh.

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i almost didn't post this blog again, but since i started it and really did a good chunk of it, i have to post it now. i'm still behind on my work and am scared for the weekend tbh. i have to do a revision of my draft paper and send it to my prof who won't change the grade, but will give me feedback before the final paper is due....yipee...so generous of her.... i stg everyone almost failed or actually failed the midterm and did poorly on the draft paper as well. she just doesn't give a shit. no extra credit offered, no resubmissions, virtually no support for any of us failing. -_-

i hope to pass this class with a decent enough grade, but mainly just to pass the class is my goal.

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it's late, but i want to play the sims again. it's so much fun and i love it. it's truly a game i keep coming back to bc of all the different aspects of it. i hope if i get a new computer it doesn't reset my data... cuz it's different on every computer i'm pretty sure. it's different if it's on steam compared to just my computer, so i'm nervous. i could download all of the sims i made and all houses i've made, but i want the progress of this one family i have.....oofie, we'll see. i'll look it up.

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tldr:

wtf

basic questions

picking classes

sims and building

grammar and creative writing

lol

how are you?

annoying prof

sims!!

anywho, goodnight and toodaloohoo,

kD :p

[posallys]

h\Hey Taylor! I always see you post about university and such, and I was just wondering what all you do? I know you're studying biology, but you talk about some other things too. I was also wondering if you had any tips? I'm also studying biology but I'm a few years behind you. All the best!

Okay so this semester I'm taking orgo, ecology, advanced micro (which is just 6 hours of lab and no lecture), and cognitive neuroscience, as well as doing independent research with the worms I was working with over the summer <3 I'm also the TA for one of the intro biology classes at my school, and I'm a tutor, so I tutor all of the intro bio, intro chem, calc 1 and a little 2, pretty much all of the psych classes I've taken, stats, and a few of the lit classes I've taken. That's about 9 hours a week, and it's a service through the uni so they just book an appointment and tell me which class they need :) I'm also the main tutor for both of our intro bio classes (intro molecular and organismal), so I do a twice-weekly remedial "lecture" for an hour. i am. so fucking busy lol OH AND ALSO the chair of the psych dept just asked me to be on their hiring committee because they're trying to get a neuropsych person in, and he was talking to my research supervisor abt how she stole me from the psych dept, and wanted my input on the new hire so they don't keep loosing every single person with an interest in neuro to the bio dept since my school doesn't have a real neuro major.

as for tips...vocab is your best friend. even if you don't know what's going on, look at the prefixes, suffixes, etc because they'll tell you!!! learn them!! for example, anything with -ase at the end is most likely an enzyme....and enzymes are proteins that help catalyze biochemical reactions. so if you see the word "lactase" and you had no clue what that was, you know off the bat it's probably an enzyme (-ase), and if you can see that 'lact' is the root of lactose....well, you can logic your way to the fact that lactase helps you break down lactose! know your vocab I literally cannot stress it enough. also ESPECIALLY for chem when you get passed gen chem. the words are there to tell you what the thing is....they're not random. they actually mean something.

literally go to lecture. even when you don't want to. get up and go. and don't be on your phone. don't try to take notes on your laptop, either. do it, bare minimum, with an iPad, but if you still get distracted by notifications then use a notebook. who cares if you're the only one...you'll also be the only one who can draw diagrams, models, chemical structures, etc. plus writing literally activates parts of your brain involved with memory retention while typing does not. don't use the laptop!!!

oh i also mean this in the nicest way possible, but don't do bio if you're not super into it. because you'll hate it and all of the effort you have to put in is going to make it feel like hell. and if you find yourself hating labs....i hate to break it to you but you probably shouldn't do bio because most of the jobs on the market involve bench work in some way, shape, or form, and if you can't sit through a 3 or 4 hour teaching lab you're probably going to want to die when you have to get a real job after you graduate. in my schedule right now I have 16 hours of lab a week, and I love every single minute of it.

ask for help! i can say this as a TA but genuinely everyone wants to see you do well. go bug your TAs and your profs and yeah you might feel like you're being annoying but who cares! you learn by asking questions so if you have them, ask them. i think all of my profs are so fucking sick of seeing my face, and yet I'm still in the dept way too often bugging them while they're in between classes and meetings lol

along the same lines...literally everything is about connections. go talk to your profs. even if it's not with questions. "oh, hey, I thought this part of the lecture was cool, could you maybe tell me some more about it?" things like that. after all if you want to go to grad school of whatever kind, they're the ones that are ultimately going to help you get their. they're how you get research opportunities, rec letters, maybe they even pull some strings to get you in classes that are full/you don't have prereqs for, etc if they like you enough! some of my profs ask me for input on their classes too. like my micro prof, who's my academic advisor. i had him for regular micro last semester, and I saw him while doing research over the summer and he had 3 or 4 ideas for our advanced micro lab class this semester. he asked me what I liked best....guess which project we're doing.

learn how to read papers. it's hard. you're gonna want to scream and cry and rip your hair out. you're not going to understand 90%+ of what they're saying when you start. highlight words you don't know and look them up. ask profs (yes. again. talk their ears off when they have time to listen to you) for tips because it really depends on the field, what you want to get out of the paper (i.e. are you looking for methodology to model, are you doing a follow up to their conclusions, do you need their results as background). I'm reading three papers right now and I understand nothing! it sucks it's hard as an undergrad. I want to yell but. I'm taking notes and trying to break the info down into smaller pieces and. i think it's working :)

okay i'm just rambling but!! hope this helps :)

[mistvy]

Hi, I love your profile and sims! I’m ‘kind of’ new to the sims world! I’ve been playing since 2018, but not religiously. I just wanted to ask about your mods folder (sorry if it states somewhere on your profile these kind of questions aren’t allowed, i’m new to tumblr too and still understanding how it works). Feel free to ignore this question if it’s not allowed. I understand that by having lots of folders within the mods folder it can make the game lag. I just wanted to ask how your mods folder looks? As I want to keep mine tidy and be able to find certain cc easily. I’m also in the process of buying a pc as I am currently using a macbook and have so much cc it’s starting to not work… If you have any tips or suggestions with having a pc (if you have one yourself) and how your set up looks, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!! 🤍

Hello angel! I am more than happy to assist - though I'll tell you right now my mods folder is my greatest shame lol! I organize by category and I try not to put folders in my folders - for me personally, I have quite a bit of cc and keeping things as "free" in their respective folders as possible has helped me greatly with avoiding duplicates, especially if you bulk download like I end up doing a lot of times. My folders are fairly organized - I have one for build/buy and then for CAS I have a few different folders to help keep them more organized, one for skin details, makeup, presets, tattoos, etc.

Honestly - just don't do what I did when you get your pc and download and throw things into folders and try to make it organized afterwards because you'll make it 100x harder on yourself! My mods folder is the most organized it's ever been but I'm still ashamed of how messy it is lol.

My setup was a wedding gift from my husband, I gamed on a laptop previously and trust me I get it because it was fighting for it's life every time I turned it on!! I don't know much about computers but I'm more than happy to share my specs with you!

CPU: Ryzen 5 4500 - 6cores/12 threads @3.60GHz

GPU: MSI Ventus XS OC GTX 1660 Ti 6GB

RAM: 16GB (2x8GB) @3200Mhz

Storage: 1TB NVMe SSD - 1500MB/s and 2000MB/s read/write speeds

PSU: Enermax 500W 80+ bronze

(I have no clue what any of this means - but it runs my game and all my cc with no lag so I'm happy!)

I hope this helps and please don't hesitate if you have any more questions! xoxo

[thaliatimsh]

hiiii can i get 5, 10, 11, 16, 17, 19, 25 for the fic writer asks :>

HOHOHOOHO thamk you for asking sorry it took me a hot minute to get back on my laptop:

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

LOL i love how everyone has asked me this do i come off as so bitter? i sure do lol. anyway another peeve of mine is really naff ~foriegn language~ bits esp. as like. rubbish sexy talk. people making a character go oooh ma petite chou-fleur in the heat of the moment shfgdjshds fuck off

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

this is a tough one! when i go hunting for fics i normally start w my Fave Character Tags (... treavor pendleton, george hodgson ao3 pages saved to my phone bookmarks smhhhh). probably dishonored fic is my fave to read actually? bc people do so much fun stuff with The World :^)

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

normally they come from a spoken line in the text of the fic! or sometimes a bit of description... or something from the canon. like the working title for a different kind of man was "stained glass". the fics in the takes two to quarrel series were all named for lines in the fics, except for imperfect life which i lifted directly from canon text (and the series was named for a line in imperfect life)

nlwib's name comes from that one line of wallace's in game thats like - "I must prepare the mourning garments. His lordship has never looked well in black.". i often think that if i was gonna do a cleanup re-write i would just call it in black, but i did start posting it nearly eleven years ago and my Style has evolved since then lol

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

HFJSDKFHKS SEE MYSTERY MAN PART 2 in which I accidentally uncovered the history of one of the rl officers of the franklin expedition and have since seen real life Scholars talk abt things that were literally lost to history until i connected a bunch of dots on accident while trying to find out what early 19thc. eton was like. for a fanned fiction. me @ franklin scholars: get on my level wankers lol

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

TOO OBSESSIVELY and it never ends well. i am trying to hold back on this bc. drac your fics are too niche your majesty they'll kill your self-esteem your majesty. never 4 get that the only comment i got on nlwib chapter 15 was "shame it wasnt gay" :/

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

i don't really Edit edit? things come and go as i write, then i'll get a version i like and probably give it a once-over in the ao3 preview to look for typos.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

i don't really listen to music while i'm writing bc i get too distracted! either by lyrics or A Good Bit in instrumental music lol. but sometimes I'll play a single song on repeat through the entire thing like a deranged animal. i think the last nlwib chapter was written to Paris 1919 by John Cale on repeat for abt 40 hours lmao

this is the questions btw

[rrxnjun]

okay (cracks knuckles) ik whipping out the laptop means serious business for people our age, so thank you bar🥺 and you answering everything made me emotional so lemme reciprocate......yes I like u, more now

Yes they both are your only smuts and not so explict at that and being non explicit is again wholesome for me and hence more delusion inducing. I love both the type of smuts though, explict because oof it's hot and detailed and it makes me distant enough to not get too attached but if it is emo or angsty then I am doomed. Smut makes me go like ew the characters did the bad and dirty stuff and are not so pure and angelic ewww (for me to not live under their skin XD and be sane). I like smut without plot for sure but verrrry short in length, just for giggles yk, and not like 10 chapters of pure fucking (idk how ppl do that😭), then I need plot because where is the buildup and story and feelings. Implicit because it makes me yearn when I am in the mood to not be sane and detach from reality. But I get your point, usually people feel that way i guess, i m weird and horny bxdjnf.

And oh you did NOT like Liebestraum, whyyyy >:( if i may ask (omg sweet(est) anon let me kiss your feet snjhdd) but thanks so much for actually putting it up here (online friends and meeting ur tumblr anon 3 times irl?????? U live in a movie??? R u not real??? I feel it's possible). And oh OH OH, this is why OMG i get it now!!! because ur own feelings are resembled in Jisung's monologue and summer feels like THAT for you, it felt more real to me. As I said I was born in summer and rain, so it's like a part of me, an essence of mine, to feel and connect so much with the summery blues, so that and ur own resemblance made it suureal and easy for me to connect so deeply (i am SLIGHTLY dramatic) Because yk how usually with y/n fics, I resonate or try to at least with the y/n's feelings or imagine from a 3rd pov but this made me feel what Jisung was feeling throughout as my own feelings 😭🥹🥹, I felt like I was left behind without that last meeting instead of Jisung GODJDJSJSJSJSJ, please I will cry, I even told my roommate about this fic and Liebestraum and everything so randomly (she doesn't even follow kpop now and has only read bts fanfics in the past ), please let me kiss u :3 (My fav season is actually the transition from winters ending to spring to summers (spring is kinda short where I live and fall is even shorter otherwise it would have been my favorite too) so yes basically summers approaching because they are not as hot and I don't have to shiver all the time and I see the sun but to an extent that is pleasant) I feel like where I live it gets super duper hot in summers so ppl lean towards winters more.

And no by ur carrd being cute I didn't mean JUST the template but what you wrote, that was cute, u r cute. And IKR, ik so many 03 liners irl because of class but online? They do not exist. One year older? Yess, one year younger? Tons but same age? NAH . And oohh cool, I just completed my bachelors and now I feel lost, gonna go for Masters Clinical prolly but yes idk what I will do after that either and I dread research and therapy even so yeah maybe diagnostics lol. (I am ahead of u, but probably gonna take a break this year, let's get at the same level then :D). You make me wanna re-test my mbti it's been a while ;)

And I am probably gonna read Potential or the self sabotage one, Chenle yes, I rarely find good stuff about him. Wish me luck, I saw people sobbing in your asks regarding Potential 😭. (Thanks for not getting mad but it's understandable even if u do)

I do not listen to Dominic but I will check that song out, for you, to try n feel what you said <3

Let's be friends, can i try sliding into your dms time to time🤸🏻‍♀️

hihihi happy to hear u like me more now 🫶🏻 i like you too 🤭🤭

AHAHA okay i get you but also i definitely read smuts that made me delusional before... this one smut i read i cannot stop thinking about it IT WAS PWP TOO 😭😭😭 sigh. Yeah 10 chapters of pure fucking is not really my cup of tea either. Its like when the smut count in a fic goes past 2 im like well this is too much isnt it🤨 (and then i realize real ppl fuck and im just being a virgin.)

I will tell my friend u wanna kiss her feet /j HAHAHA yeah we met last october for the first time!! She lives in a country next to mine so periodically we take turns and take a train to each others capital 🥰 it definitely feels like a dream like wow life didnt end at 17 i am 21 now and meeting online friends and travelling and wow. And yeah kinda!! Also i feel that i dislike most of my angst for some reason ??? And i dont really know why if im being honest TT its like maybe i feel a bit pretentious ?? I have no idea its a whole thing 😭😭 but once again i feel very honored that you connected so deeply with a work of mine 🫶🏻 its still baffling to me haha. TELLING UR ROOMMATE IS ALSO ANOTHER LEVEL WHAT

omg i actually dislike spring but also like it at the same time ?? I was born in spring! but i dislike the unreliable weather but also theres something abt seeing the sun after months of winter that cures ur depression a little doesnt it😭😭 it gets crazy hot in summers here too!! Like next wednesday its supposed to be 36°C 😀😀😀😀 im gonna d*e. I would say i prefer winter to summer but i think u couldve guessed that from my previous reply HAHA

DJDJS me? Cute? 🤭🤭 no, YOU are. but you are SOOO right i see so many 04 liners online its crazy. Most of my mutuals on here are 04-05 liners it makes me feel OLDDD. Omg thats so cool 😯😯 i think clinical is too far from my abilities LMAOO but then again idk idk. When i was little i wanted to do psych because of clinical but then i got into uni and realized how difficult it is and how i am a gifted child burnout so :// and i feel like therapy isnt for me it would burn me out too much. I was thinking of art therapy perhaps ?? but the easiest way to get emploeyed would be school or educational psych here so we'll see maybe ill go for that ?? tell me what ur mbti is after!!

AAAA self sabotage i dont really like either (i seem to dislike a lot of my work LMAO) but potential is one of my most fav fics ive ever written 🤍 i didnt really think it was THAT angsty but i kind of treated it as my therapy session lmao so...,.,,. Yeah maybe thats why. hope u like it! I am very proud of it,, it was a spontaneous work of mine but im happy with how it turned out :,)

what kind of music do u listen to?? :oo i am a HUGE dominic fan no one underastands the sunburn album the way i do </33 hope u like it if u listen to it:)

LETS BE FRIENDS !! u can slide into my dms any time altho i am uhh not really as active on this blog lately ((since i made my other one this has been collecting dust. Shame on me 😭😭😭😭) but i will try to get back to u asap !! (Or we can talk on discord?)

[dreaming-medium]

You know, for the first time in a very long time, I find myself invested in a series. For the past 5-6 years until now, I’ve been having a mental struggle which has been affecting many things including my attention span which has gotten worse over the years. I haven’t been the book lover I was years ago and although it sounds dramatic, it makes me sad.

Your works and writing style has always been one of my favourites but I’ve always avoided series’ because of said reason. I’ve only been reading your short fics/oneshots so far. But I’ve been making an effort to try and improve my attention span because I truly want to enjoy reading really long, lengthy books like I used to do.

I do not regret starting Animals Without Direction. I swear when I saw it had 30+ chapters, I thought that I wouldn’t last. Maybe, 10 chapters at most. But I got so hooked, I read it up till the last update in a single sitting (also losing sleep because I read everything until 6am). This feels like a big milestone for me and I absolutely can’t wait for the following chapters. Like I’m literally impatient 😭.

I always look forward to your works, whether a random fic, a kinktober update or another chapter release of AWD. I’d marry your writing if thats even possible. Anyway, thanks for reading my dramatic ahh ask and thank YOU for literally existing ily

-Lynn

I want you to know how much this message meant to me, really. Like, I stared at this with my mouth open. Maybe it’s because I went through the same thing with reading, but hearing that my writing helped someone with this really swept me off my feet.

I also lost my love for reading all throughout college, for about four years I couldn’t read or write anything, I just didn’t have the mental capacity for it.

I’m so so so happy that my silly little fic can help overcome a huge mental hurdle for you 💖

Finding a fic that you binge read until the early morning is such a uniquely amazing experience. As much as I hate losing sleep, I LOVE finding a story that I can’t wait to read what happens next.

It blows my mind that my fic provides that for readers, really. I try to write as if I’m speaking out loud during a d&d session.

Even in small moments, I try to consider details like sights and sounds and tiny things that really adds to a scene and makes it more important. I’m over the moon happy that it comes across.

I am so so so happy and proud of you for overcoming this hurdle. I hope that it’s a precursor to a long, happy reading binge!

I will update soon! I really do apologize for the wait!

I suffered a really major back injury last week, actually. I injured my spinal cord at the gym (I pushed myself too hard, my fault completely. Changbin would be so pissed at me)

I was on the rowing machine and I was using my back muscles more than my legs. I stretched my spinal cord and injured it so bad I couldn’t stand up from the machine.

Has nooooot been an easy recovery process lol

So I haven’t been able to sit up correctly in a chair or bed to write on my laptop. The next chapter is almost done! I’m trying to write on my phone but I feel like the quality isn’t the same lol

But it’s coming, pinky promise 💖 I’m starting to feel better and be able to walk around

Much much love for you 💖💖

[astrxealis]

what if i actually got to. streaming (again?)

[laurieelaurel]

I saw your requests are open and I wanted to ask if you could write something about the brothers accidentally standing MC up on a date. Like they forgot or had something else to do and just missed it and left them there. Then idk maybe they’re reminded about the date later by someone and figure out how the ending goes?? Sorry if that’s not a good explanation, I’ve never really sent a request before but if you write this I am looking forward to seeing it! :D

Getting stood up on a date

Brothers x gn!reader

No worries, and what an honour to have your first request! Sorry again for the slight delay - my laptop died :,)

Warnings: slight and implied violence in Satan's, not very angsty because I'm a softie and I need happy endings

Lucifer

For the first time in forever, he isn’t drowning in paperwork. This man can finally take his well earned break, away from all the prince’s childish games and his brothers never ending quarrels. 

For the first time in over a week he can afford to lean back and tune the rest of the world out. Maybe he would take a quick trip away from the HoL so he wouldn’t be thrown surprise paperwork?

Settles for a well earned day of doing absolutely nothing. Makes himself a cup of tea and goes to bed early for the first time in a very long time.

What he’s forgotten however is the date you had scheduled. How ironic is that. The reason why he worked so hard to clear his desk was to make time for you and yet all that work had burnt him out so much he forgot to go

Meanwhile you’re sat awkwardly at a table for two in cafe lament. It really wasn’t like Lucifer to be late so you were getting really antsy, still not getting a response to your texts

It’s about an hour after your agreed time that you realise you’ve just been stood up. Did something important come up? He promised he’d have all his work done before the date… 

Lucifer wakes up bright and early the next day, feeling refreshed and… oh shit

It is only 5 am when he comes knocking frantically on your door, his eyes searching your tired face for any signs of hurt

Apologises profusely, head in his hands as he can’t bring himself to face your hesitant gaze. How terrible that he’d left you hanging there with the expectation that you’d be enjoying a date together for diavolo knows how long. 

He’s determined to make it up to you, how does renting the entirety of the amusement park to yourselves sound? How about going to Godevil Chocolatier? He’ll do whatever it takes to make you feel better, to let you know that you never deserved to be left hanging.

Mammon

He was literally a block away from the cafe when he heard a familiar voice… and not the good kind.

When he looked over his shoulder he paled, eyes meeting 4 other pairs of very angry witches. 

Sprints straight through the crowded city street, bowling over every pedestrian in sight. Takes every back alley and short cut possible, cutting through the occasional store. This group of witches is strangely persistent in their chase, their demands for their grimm never too far away. 

While all this is going on, you’re still waiting on the patio, puzzled at all the commotion in the square. You ask a group of students you recognize what’s going on and they tell you that apparently there’s a maniac getting hunted down by at least 5 angry witches after cheating on them all at the same time. They were close enough with their speculation huh. What a weirdo you think to yourself, send Mammon a text joking about the situation.

>> careful, I hear there’s an asshole who got caught cheating on 5 different girls at once

>> he’s being chased down to the ends of the earth by witches so maybe you’d be able to give him some pointers lol 

He doesn’t even read the texts, leaving you alone with two servings of pastries. 

At some point it becomes too embarrassing to stay, the customers seated near you clearly able to tell you’ve been stood up, and you order some boxes to take home the food.

The second you open the front door, Mammon is there to meet you, tears in his eyes as he sputters out a few sentences you can’t quite understand

To spare the both of you from the prying gazes of his brothers, you go to your room to talk. “It was me!” he blurts out the second the door closes behind you “I was the asshole. The one running around downtown I mean. And an asshole for leaving you like that too”

Deflated and so incredibly ashamed of himself. He could defend himself saying it wasn’t it his fault but he knew deep down that it was still his fault. He chose to cheat 5 different witches out of grimm, he had no room to complain when they inevitably came after him. His only regret is that it had to be today and it had left you feeling alone and humiliated

Give him another chance, he isn’t above begging for it, and he promises he’ll truly let you feel as treasured as you are to him

Levi

He’s been looking forward to this movie date for WEEKS MC. It’s marked on at least 6 different calendars on his various electronic devices! There was no way in hell he was going to miss it.

He stayed up all night to be able to guarantee two tickets with seats next to each other, and you actually accepted his invitation! You both made it bright and early to the theatre before too much of a line was formed and Levi decided it was his time to shine, offering to go buy you both some snacks from the concession stand.

 You’re more than happy to stay behind, waiting in the comfortable darkness of the theatre as levi does what he needs to

That would be if things went to plan (and things most certainly did not!)

Some schmuck took it upon themselves to cause a scene today of all days, and somehow Levi has now somehow found himself stuck in the growing crowd. The time until the start of the movie only got closer and closer as his annoyance started to grow faster and faster. 

For the first time in 2 whole months, Levi accidentally summoned Lotan through sheer irritation, causing a huge mess in the foyer while you and everyone else in the theatre remained unaware.

You’re starting to wonder just what the odds of Levi bailing on you would be, checking your DDD about every second now 

You’ve been sat awkwardly with no date and no snacks for about 15 minutes when the doors of the theatre are thrown open dramatically and a dark figure runs over to your seat

There are more than just a couple things you have to tell him off for when you notice just how… dishevelled? and panicked he is - hold up why is your hair wet??

“I-I’ll explain everything later!” he whisper-shouts, eyes hesitantly meeting yours

 “I’ll make it up to you and - oh no, how long did I leave you for?” he moans, eyes darting around nervously, “This was all my fault and I… I’m not deserving of your forgiveness but, argghhh!”

“-It’s alright Levi, it really is - the movie was something you were looking forward to as well though, so how about we just watch? You only missed a few minutes after all…”

>> the rest of the movie was great, though getting out of the half flooded theatre at the end was not…

Satan

It really isn’t like Satan to forget things. As disorganised and chaotic as his sin might be, he likes to hold himself higher than that, keeping all his underlying rage hidden as he shows his gentlemanly facade to the world. 

That being said, that rage bubbling away under his skin is still there, and it would do all the lesser demons good to keep that in mind when approaching him. 

Apparently the one standing before him didn’t get the memo, snarking away in front of him, as if being part of the exchange program would save him from that ugly side of him. 

With little more than a second to rethink his actions, Satan lunges over the library table and violently grabs the demon’s throat.

Snarling incoherent curses and profanities, he shoves him against a nearby bookcase, his mind screaming for his rage to be let out

.

It’s about a half hour later than the time you’d agreed on with Satan and it’s starting to dawn on you that being stood up was actually an option.

Is it really though? You ask yourself; it’s a cat cafe, surely he wouldn’t miss out on this for the world!

That’s what you reason with yourself as you convince your brain to wait just a few more minutes because surely he was just running a little late, right? There’s no way he would have forgotten, right??

The amount of relief that washes over you as you see his figure pushing through the crowded streets is impossible to describe in words an- “wait why are you covered in blood?”

Satan???

“It’s all right, it’s not mine,” he explains, slightly out of breath

“Oh, thank goodness! I- Wait-”

“More importantly, I’ve been leaving you hanging for a while now, right?” He continues, ushering you into the cafe, “I can’t exactly do anything about the fact that I’m late, so I’ll just have to make it up to you now, and on our future dates if you’d allow me.”

Asmo

 Asmo promised to treat you to a night you’d never forget sometime and went all out with a reservation to the fanciest restaurant in all of the devildom. 

It was an overwhelming social experience, watching all the well dressed and classy demons of the land walking by, making you feel like you were sticking out. Being seated at the best table in the house was also scary alone, it was almost as if the waiters and chefs expect you to be of a certain tax bracket to even be able to breathe the same air as they do

What’s worse is that your date has left you out to dry here, the very obviously empty seat in front of you letting just about everyone else know you’d been stood up. 

You feel dejected and humiliated, unable to even just enjoy the expensive food with all the very noticeable stares and whispers 

Deciding to save what little face you have left, you get up to leave only a couple bites into your dinner, leaving the fancy building onto the cold rainy streets.

Oh yeah, it’s raining now, because comedic timing is a thing apparently

You decide to suck it up and run as fast as your fancy shoes let you, your mind just left frazzled 

About 10 minutes into your jog home you hear footsteps fast approaching from behind and just as you manage to turn around you’re met with a tackle hug from the one and only Asmo

“Mc!” he cries, ushering you under a nearby tree, “you weren’t there when I went in and I got so worried!”

“...Well maybe if you hadn’t been late and left me alone for half an hour, we’d be enjoying a nice dinner right now!” you yell a bit louder than expected, though your saltiness is very reasonable.

Asmo winces at your words, he knows he’d hurt your feelings and your trust but explains that he’d been trying to surprise you with a gift 

“Not that it makes it okay for me to just leave you hanging like that though - I really should have gotten this ready for the time we agreed on, but I hope you’ll accept it anyways.” He quickly adds, hesitantly offering you the slightly wrinkled bag he was holding, “I feel really bad for abandoning you like that, so please let me make it up to you, darling.”

Beel

 It’s pretty… no, incredibly easy to get Beel’s attention if you know what to grab it with - and it really isn’t a secret what it is. 

Food. Literally any kind of food out there would cause him to halt in his tracks. 

The hunger of the avatar of Gluttony is not to be underestimated, yet he chose to hold off on eating while shopping with you to share a lunch later in the day. He really went into the outing thinking he could hold off eating for a couple of hours and yet only a half hour in and he feels as if he might as well be dying.

He really couldn’t hold in his hunger this time, and excused himself to go raid the closest fast food restaurant before you returned.

You had just left to go to the bathroom and yet when you returned Beel was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t answering any texts and you had a sneaking suspicion of what had happened.

Feeling a bit bummed at being left alone, you wandered a bit before setting off for home with a heavy heart. 

You know how hard it must be for Beel to keep his impulses under control but it still didn’t change your disappointment as you shuffled home awkwardly. 

You were only a couple minutes away from the steps of the HoL when you hear a heavy pair of feet approaching 

You turn to see Beel rounding the corner, several large bags under his arms. Letting him catch up to you, he blurts out a quick apology before handing over a sizeable amount of food and gifts

You’re left speechless at the amount of stuffed animals and assorted trinkets he presents you as Beel guiltily avoids your gaze

“M’sorry about that MC… I really am…”

“...Beel, what is all this?”

“Some things to make it up to you! …But I know it doesn’t make up for what just happened so I was thinking we go home early and we can make dinner together. Whatever you want MC, so please don’t be sad.”

Belphie

Funnily enough, the reason why the avatar of Sloth was late to your date at the dreaded petting zoo was not because he was sleeping

Honestly if he had slept in that would have been easier for you to write off than this.

Somehow Belphie had managed to get caught up in another one of Satan’s pranks on Lucifer and this time, there were consequences (shocking, I know)

Just an hour before you had planned to meet, Belphie and Satan were caught red handed trying to change the cue of Lucifer’s record player with one that was hexed to ruin all vinyls it came into contact with

Why he was trying to pull such a dangerous stunt right before your date is beyond you, but obviously the plan went south and obviously this royally pissed Lucifer off

Flash forward to now - while you’re waiting outside the zoo, excited to see the devildom animals Belphie’s stuck inside, getting lectured and very much not on his way

You've been waiting almost an hour now in the heat for your date to get here and your patience is starting to reach it's limit.

No text, no nothing! You don't know if it's even worth risking what's left of your pride to keep waiting

But lo and behold, not a moment later, you spot a very disgruntled Belphie running straight towards you

Feeling pretty hurt, you don't exactly try to hide the displeasure on your face as you let Belphie try and explain what exactly he put you through

Belphie explains as quick as he can, pointing out how stupid he himself was to even risk getting caught by Lucifer

He knows not to show any of his own annoyance since he can admit he only has himself to blame

"I know it was really stupid and I don't have any excuses. Would you be willing to give me the chance to make it up to you right now? You will? That's great then! We should see as much as we can before Lucifer notices I ran off then :)"

"...You didn't just piss Lucifer off and then... run away, did you?"

Thank you guys for 300 followers!

[scumbagjaeger]

Rating: 18+! mdni

Me waking up at 5am with the most depraved thoughts about Jean, Connie and Sasha in a college AU that I will be turning into a full fic, here’s the rundown

Starts with Jean/Sasha with a dash of Jean/Connie/Sasha, and then ends with just Connie/Sasha, they’re endgame sorry not sorry (I love Springles) (it’s just because my friends tell me I’m just like Sasha and I am a fiend for Constance Springer)

First of all, you already know that they were all friends in high school, none of that awkward first meeting in History 101 thing

They can’t even remember how they met but Connie and Jean were those middle school bros with the snapbacks and jailbroken phones

Jean was asked to show Sasha around when she moved from the countryside in their freshman year of high school

Okay so now in college basically they all have the plan to just get laid as much as possible

Jk but they just want to party and be part of the crazy college scheme that they used to spend HOURS talking about in high school

“Guys… would you ever smoke weed?” —Jean at one point

Sorry this is still background but like I always imagine them growing up Midwest? I wanna say Chicago but deep down I’m thinking they grew up in like St Paul and they were all fairly sheltered oop

They go to college in Chicago for the big city life and they all apply together and they cry when they all get accepted

So yeah they’re trying to be adults now they rule!!!1!!! It’s so cheesy but they are 18 and suddenly they are like wow this adult thing is pretty nice 😎

Connie is kind of the rizzler?? No shock there but he is actually bringing so many women back to his and Jean’s dorm

The forms I had in college would be two bedrooms (with two beds each) and then a shared bathroom/fridge space?? So Connie and Jean are roommates and Marco is their suite mate in the other bedroom

Jean ends up having to stay with their suite-mate Marco because Marco’s roommate ended up dropping out after a day

Connie inadvertently cock blocks his friends but other while they’d pull as well??

Sorry Jean plays the sweet-romance game because he thinks he’s going to fall in love at a college party the first week 💀 and Connie swoops in making these ladies die laughing

He’s also just super affectionate with Sasha too like she’ll be rizzing up some guy and he’ll swing an arm around her waist “Sash we gotta host parties when we get our house together!!!”

He just means next year, the three of them plan on getting a townhouse together, but it’s enough to scare away the guy Sasha was talking to :(

At one point they have a mini intervention where they’re like “bro how do you do it????” And Connie’s like “what can I say, a rizzler’s gotta rizz 😎🥵”

I don’t think there would be much sexual interest or jealousy between any of them because they’re besties

Maybe in high school they had that drama about liking each other but they’re 18 now?? High school was so last year they are ADULTS remember

But idk maybe Sasha makes a comment about Connie cockblocking her, just an innocent joke, and he lowkey gets offended? “Damn my bad, I’ll let you cook next time ig”

So at the next party, Sasha meets Niccolo and of course they hit it off and Connie’s like okay why is this bothering me who gives a fuck, he ends up bringing a girl back to his dorm anyway so who cares LOL not that guy

Oh I forgot to say this but when Jean brings someone home Connie goes to Sasha’s and they literally share her tiny ass twin bed, usually drunk and watching some movie on her laptop, Ymir is normally in Historia’s room anyway so it works (but Ymir and Connie are homies too so she dgaf)

Anyway after her and Niccolo hook up, Sasha is super bummed?? The three of them are hanging out on campus and she’s like “yeah idk I thought we had something but our conversations just kind of fizzled out :(“

And Connie laughs? He’s like “lmao wait you talk to these people after you hook up with them??”

He explains that the whole point is that you go into it not expecting to ever see them again, that’s how he can be so bold with his flirting/jokes. It’s a HOOK UP not a MARRIAGE

And Jean kind of defends Sasha because he is also a big romantic and is constantly getting his hopes up? Poor guy

So one thing leads to another and (completely sober) Jean and Sasha decide they’re going to hook up???

It’s so awkward when they talk about it lol. Sasha’s like “man wtf how does Connie just not develop feeling for the girls he’s sleeping with” and Jean’s like “right that’s insane we should like, hook up and see” (totally joking) and Sasha’s like “omg yeah good one”

For half of their conversation, Jean can’t tell if she’s just going along with the joke

But it does make sense to them?? Like they will go to the party with Connie who will inevitably bring someone back to their dorm, and Jean and Sasha can pretend like they’ve just met and that they’re hooking up, then in the morning they go back to being friends

Unrelated but they’ve all definitely talked about their kinks before and Sasha hits Jean with the “S-step bro” and he whimpers

Also unrelated but Connie thought that the “Step bro, I’m stuck” things were the funniest shit in the world but that’s when they discovered Jean is bisexual, Jean included lol

Anyway the sex is good?? They are already so comfortable with each other, Jean makes sure Sasha is comfortable and that things feel good, she lowkey helps him with how to eat a girl out properly lol

Also Sasha has insane bedroom eyes and she doesn’t even know it? Her sex faces are unreal. Jean’s fucking her missionary style and he’s like “—this good?” And she lets out a breathy “Yeah, fuck, like that—” and he is like “bro don’t look at me like that or I’ll cum”

Afterwards Jean asks if they can cuddle and she’s like “wtf no? We’re supposed to not make thing a thing, we’re just friends again” and Jean is like “but we’d cuddle when we’re friends. We literally cuddled last week” and she’s like “damn you’re right okay c’mere”

The next morning Sasha’s like “omg! We did that! And I don’t want to do it again” and Jean’s like “wait WHAT” like he’s worried she had a bad experience and she’s like “No no no like I WOULD do it again but I don’t want to like date you!!” And he’s like “oh, good!!! Me too!!” And they high five

Jean goes to his dorm and Connie’s not there but Marco is and he’s like “Marco, I slept with Sasha and we don’t want to do it again 😎” and he’s like “what the fuck?”

Jean and Marco are also on the extremely slowburn train to romance-ville but until then they’re just homies, each other’s confidants

Marco tells Jean “I don’t know how you could hook up with anyone at all? Don’t you want the intimacy and love that comes with being with one person?” Because Marco doesn’t join in on their schemes, he also came from a sheltered childhood but he’s just so honest and sweet and we love our sweet boy

Of course Jean wants that too! He’s just a dumb idiot who thinks with his dick too much(‘: but someday he will learn and Marco will be there for him

Anyway idk about anyone else’s college experience but we had like four different card game variants of like “drink if you have the most unopened emails” or “drink if you are the last person to put your finger on your nose”

So of course they play that one time in Sasha’s room with their friends

“Drink if you’ve slept with someone else in this room” and everyone’s laughing, of course Eren and Mikasa drink, and Ymir and Historia drink, but then Jean takes a sip and it’s like SILENT

And Connie’s like “HEADASS get outta here, your fantasies don’t count” and Jean is looking at Sasha like bro help me

So then she takes a drink

And everyone is like hooting and hollering, but now Connie is silent

Jean’s laughing and telling them “yeah it was just a one time thing lol we’re just friends”

He’s lowkey hurt that they didn’t tell him?? He thinks it happened in like high school or something

They notice he’s upset and they end up confronting him after he avoids them bc we know Connie can’t deal with his emotions xoxo

“I just can’t believe you guys had sex without me??” He means without TELLING me but he’s upset yk. And Sasha’s like “well fine do you want to have sex with us?”

And it’s silent for like four minutes. Also they’re eating lunch in like Burger King so Jean’s mouth is full of a whopper burger as Sasha says this and he just freezes, and then slowly continues to eat

I feel like Connie is straight/has a strong preference towards women, but the idea of fucking a woman with another guy he’s totally down for yk, he’s definitely comfortable with himself and open to experimenting but something about Jean fucking THEIR friend Sasha fires him up??

He’s still the most experienced out of the three of them, never in a threesome but has watched enough of them lol, he even did extra research to prepare omg

He strokes himself off underneath Sasha, who’s being fucked by Jean

And Connie’s an ass? Talking to them like a little shit. “So this is how you did it without me last time, huh? I missed out on all this fun?”

I’ll save the big details for the fic so you have to read it sorry xoxo, but let’s say Jean ends up fucking Sasha’s mouth while Connie switches and begins fucking her? Like your classic Eiffel Tower shit

They definitely high five while fucking Sasha lol but she’s also loving it we know she’s a freak

I bet Connie would feel this weird possession about fucking Sasha? Like he sees how wet she got from cumming with Jean’s cock inside her and he’s like well we gotta out do this, I gotta show her how good I’m gonna make her feel

No warning just immediately rams himself into her, her gasp barely audible around Jean’s cock

And this is when he starts to like “hm I could get used to this”, just an idle thought he brushes off as he slaps her ass, grabbing the fat of it afterwards to thrust deeper into her

I bet they talked about it before, but Connie definitely is all “You gonna let me cum inside you, huh, Sash? Gonna be a good girl and let me fill you up?”

Jean’s already came in her mouth and he’s holding her, petting her hair and playing with her tits as she cries out, nodding and turning back to look at him

I bet Sasha’s fucked out expression is what sends him over the edge

They end up all passed out next to each other with Sasha in the middle, they’re too sweaty and gross to be comfortable but they promise to help wash the sheets and clean up/get breakfast in the morning

But somehow Connie and Sasha both wake up in the middle of the night (she elbows him accidentally), and before they go back to sleep he’s just kind of like, wait wait

And he slips a hand in her underwear just to feel the mess of his cum leaking into her underwear

Omg he’d slip a finger inside her, trying to push it into her again (fuck I love Connie too much someone needs to put me in horny jail)

She’d just kind of whine quietly, half asleep but wrapping her arm around him and shuffling closer, carefully spreading her legs further

He’d finger her for a little bit but her whines and noises start to get too loud, they’re too lazy to move to the bathroom or something so they put a pin in it

Connie does tilt Sasha’s jaw towards him and kisses her though? It’s like the first time he’s ever kissed a girl after sex so it’s kind of startling to him, it just seems too romantic and he can’t possibly feeling this towards his best pal Sasha??

But Sasha’s kissed guys after sex so she’s like whatever lol gnight dude

Things are fine between the three of them because Connie just compartmentalizes his emotions and Jean and Sasha have already fucked

But now when they talk about going to parties, Connie doesn’t really want to hook up with random girls anymore? And he gets pissy when Sasha mentions bringing a guy back to her place

But also Sasha picks up on that and she doesn’t even seem to care about the guys she’s hooking up with?? Jean can see it SO CLEARLY she’s using these other guys to distract herself from Connie

One day Jean shows up at Sasha’s door and is like “so when did you start liking Connie?”

Ends with Sasha crying to Jean about how she doesn’t know? He had a thing for her in their sophomore year of high school? They were each others first kisses? She even had a thing for him once in their senior year, but this is DIFFERENT she knows it’s going to ruin their friendship

Literally Ymir and Historia are there because they were just giving her shit for this too but now they’re comforting her

Jean just had the EXACT SAME conversation with Connie, even with the same tears, and Eren and Mikasa there to comfort him LMAO

But Jean doesn’t say anything about that, he just says she should talk to him about it (just like he told Connie to do) and she’s like lol NO

A couple days later though Connie says the most OUTTA pocket thing?? Something about a girlfriend??

In my mind it’s always Mina just because but idk we’ll see

Connie in an attempt to evade the confrontation of talking to Sasha about his feelings has decided that burying them deep inside himself is the way to go

And Sasha literally texts Jean and is like SEE?!???? He doesn’t like me it’s fine this is fine 🥲

And Jean is like THESE TWO DUMBASSES WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Cue him and Marco having to play matchmaker, maybe even fall in love themselves while they’re at it 😗

Idk how it’s gonna end ngl but if you stuck around this long you should tell me your thoughts via reply or ask