#it's okay to be scared of the dark

[plusfuckingultra]

Hey, I know the dark can be scary. We can sit here together. Even if I can't make the scary go away, it can be less scary when I'm here with you, right? Even a little? I'll always be here. No matter what. Nothing's gonna hurt you. They can't hurt you here. I promise. Hardships are more bearable when someone you care about is here to help support you through them. I have you now. It's gonna be okay. I love you. Try and get some sleep, hon, you'll need it so you can keep being strong for me. I love you.

[love-vermeil]

meows cutely at you (ao3 linked)

[dootznbootz]

Menelaus rambles a lot about not only Helen, but also Hermione. About how she used to say Olive like "Olifs". How she lost her first tooth running too fast and running into a low branch while out with Helen. How he'd sometimes wake up to Hermione leaning over him and poking his face to say, "Dad, can we go see the horses?" even though it was barely daylight. How she was much nicer waking Helen and how he thinks Hermione did that on purpose because she found "dad's face funny". How her favorite color was every color.

And Odysseus listens.

And he thinks about how his son only had a few teeth coming in when he left, teething on everything. How he could only say one syllable with his babbles. How his son needed balance to stand but Odysseus was so proud that Telemachus was very good at rolling over. How his son loved pulling at his and Penelope's hair.

How his son would be talking, walking, maybe even lost his first tooth by now. And he doesn't even know if he'll ever know his son's favorite color.

[queenerdloser]

i just finished dark heir

[furiousgoldfish]

I wrote a very pained, depressive and dark post, even maybe too dark for this blog, but I ultimately decided to publish it, just because this pain has always been invisible in me, and I want to be able to say something. If you're going to read it, there's a lot of mention of death and contemplation of suicide in it, and a lot of painful emotion. Maybe someone will resonate with it and find words to describe their own pain. I also want to note that even though every word of it is true, I am most of the time completely dissociated from this, I'm not actively thinking it, and it came out now because my parents are actively trying to find me and disrupting the life I've tried to make for myself.

What my parents did to me is worse than death, they erased me. When I escaped I didn't know who I was, I had no hope to survive, I didn't think I was worth anything, I felt ashamed to even exist. I was suicidal, i thought I'd be dead within a month even if I don't do it myself. I didn't think I had it in me to survive, to be alive, to be anything. I was a less than a ghost, I didn't even have memories to remember of who I once was because there was no warm memories, only violence, blame, guilt, shame, pain, terror. I was supposed to be a person, and they put me in a state where I knew nothing about being a person, only property and a target, it was my entire life. I was told I deserved this, I was a monster, there was never anything else that is correct to do to me, but hurt me. I thought it was my job to be endlessly harmed. They knew I was suicidal and didn't stop. The only reason I didn't kill myself was the dissociative disorder that functioned like a suicide prevention measure, I physically could not have done it because I have been split into pieces and one of the pieces prevented me from doing it. I would have died otherwise.

What would a quick violent death be compared to this? A fucking blessing. I was slowly tortured until I was willing to kill myself in order to end it. They didn't want to dirty their hands with my murder, they planned on torturing me until I did it to myself. I had an intense drive to survive despite everything, and even that was getting erased. My basic instincts were being erased by the amount of pain I was in. My personality was gone, I didn't even have a personality, it was all overwhelmed by pain and desperation to both survive and end it all, I walked trough life looking death in the face the entire time, it felt so close, so close to me, like it would claim me any second, but I had to stay stoic, calm, me staring down death had to be invisible, I couldn't let it show. It shouldn't have mattered to anyone what I was experiencing. I was torn between life and death, stuck in constant anticipation of it and it couldn't have mattered.

Take a person, any person, imagine them having a life, family, friends, interests, hobbies, desires, dreams, loved ones, support, community. Now imagine that same person isolated, everything stripped away from them, and them being hurt until they can no longer remember anything they wanted to live for. Even their basic instinct to survive is stripped frm them as pain is too large for them to be able to sustain themselves, there's no longer anything in this person's life worth living for, nothing they remember about who they were, no warm thought they can think about themselves, and they're repeatedly told they deserve this, they've wanted this. Until there's nothing of them left.

That was me, but from the start. I didn't get to experience having a life, family, loved ones, interests, dreams, community, or any of that first, I didn't get to know how it was to have any of that! From the very start it was pain and being told that this is all there is, and that I'm stupid for ever thinking there would be anything more to life, that it is in fact, only terror and death and I'm a weakling for not taking it better, everyone else is dealing with this just fine. Shame and guilt were the only traits I could have, I didn't know anything further about me. Nobody knew me because nobody saw me being abused. Nobody could know I was worthless, it had to be my private hell. I would have to live only to the point where it was decided that it was enough and I had to die, or until the point where I couldn't take it anymore and take my own life, even though I so strongly didn't want to, even that basic desire was tempered with and overwritten by pain.

Who would want a life like that? Life of not only being aware that nobody cares about you, but everyone around you is willing to inflict pain on you until you wish to die, but can't. Where crying and screaming is forbidden even when you can't breathe from the amount of pain you're in; you're not even allowed to cry out. You fight with yourself every day on how badly you want to die and why you can't, and it doesn't help, you get lost in magical thinking in order to escape from the hell you're in, but you're brutally reminded of it every time you interact with anyone, when they find you hiding under the bed and dreaming. You don't even know that you're supposed to have loved ones, be safe, be unharmed, that life is supposed to be different, that you're not alive only to be a target, that you're worth anything. You don't even know that you're supposed to have more freedom in life than to choose the manner and time of your death, this is all that's dealt to you. And now, live, see how far you can get before you die. Would anyone choose that? Would anyone decide to be born into a life like that? Wouldn't you choose not to exist at all rather than be put trough that? To be erased and then having to keep on living while thinking you in fact, deserve death, and should do it yourself, and you know if you do die, it won't matter, just like your life didn't? Because people around you regularly nearly kill you and then laugh about it like it was a funny joke? They humiliate you for how ugly you look close to death? You're scared that your last moment will be humiliation for how unseemly your corpse looks and you're hoping you'd be able to die alone, to not be berated as you're dying.

Death is nothing to me compared to this. Waiting to die is worse than death. Endless anticipation of pain is worse than death. Having everything about you erased by pain is worse. Not knowing anything about yourself except that you are incredibly shameful existence and that you need to feel guilty all of the time, is worse. Watching people around you receive care and warmth while you're stuck watching death in the face silently, pretending it's not happening, and trying to not have anyone's attention on yourself because someone noticing means more pain, more shame and guilt. It's worse. Kill me any fucking day. But this will always be worse. Every time I face the reality of my life I wish I had died in the womb, at childbirth, I wish I had died when I was 1, 2, 3, 5, 10, 12, any time before I experienced all this. It would have been so much less pain. It would have been so much easier on me.

And I've already given up on ever having a place in anyone's heart, because at this point, I don't have it in me to make people love me. I have nothing about me that is other people find worth caring for, I made peace with it. There will be no loved ones, and thats fine. But at least then I should get to live my life alone the way I want it. I should find joy in being who I found I am, and doing what I want to do. I should get to do things that give me a little bit of pleasure and enjoyment, and I should be safe, and death should no longer come knocking at my door, staring me down like I owe it something. If I can't even have that, then to hell with everything. What is the fucking point of anything if all my life is a continued slow torture until I can no longer bear it. I have nobody to bear it for, nobody would be harmed by my death. But I also don't deserve to die, because I want to live, and this should be mine. Who the fuck dares to try and take this away from me again. I want to fucking explode. If I have to make my own justice then how do I do it. I literally just want to live. And I see other people having at least that much secured for them. Why can't I at least have that much. I am seriously asking for the bare fucking minimum.

[lasshoe]

Incorrect Ted Lasso + The Parent Trap (or an AU where Rebecca follows Ted to Kansas)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

[crescynnt]

Chosen had a good heart from the start

Back in the Flashback episode, when we're given scenes of Chosen and Dark terrorizing the internet, with Chosen slowly seeing the error in his ways as Dark pursued his dark path (pun intended?).

But notice how Chosen only destroyed inanimate objects. The Yahoo! page. The wall. He never directed his attacks on any of the creatures.

Chosen started hesitating when Dark redirected his attacks on other sticks.

And when he saw Dark's invention that could cause mass homocide, he freaked out.

He never wanted to hurt anyone else. He had no problem with destruction, but causing collateral damage to others was too much.

Bonus:

Dark is scared of explosions?

[llamaisllama777]

So, today's episode of the Lunar and Earth show has me slightly worried. Allow me to explain...

So, we know Rez is on earth and is after Lunar and Lunar's family and he's trying to corrupt Lunar or any family members of Lunar to cause Lunar to be corrupted. That makes me very worried.

So I see one of two things happening.

1. Lunar is left without his support system.

Two of Lunar's closest friends will be gone for who knows how long... and that will leave Lunar without his best friend and without his sister. So, if something bad happens to Lunar mentally speaking, like maybe he gets attacked by Nexus or Creator or Razzle, and he's not doing great mentally, maybe he starts having nightmares or starts getting paranoid about Rez. This will leave Lunar mentally defenseless... somewhat. I mean, he still has Sun, Moon, and Solar, but they're busy with their own issues currently. (Dark Sun, Nexus, Creator, Moon's mental health) meaning Lunar might be on his own here. A perfect target for Rez.

Or

2. Monty gets corrupted!

So, we know Monty wants to marry Earth. He admitted it to Sun and Lunar and even asked for their blessings. Monty really wants to marry Earth, but from what we've heard, Earth doesn't want to get married yet.

Monty is taking Earth on vacation.... I have a bad feeling about this.

I think Monty plans on purposing to Earth during their vacation, but from what we know.... I have a feeling Earth will say no.... for right now, at least. We know she loves Monty a lot, and he loves her a lot. They both care deeply about the other, but one wants to rush into marriage, and the other doesn't.

Here's what will probably happen...

Monty will purpose to Earth, but she'll say "not right now," not a no but a wait a while. Monty will agree, but he'll probably be embarrassed and afraid he may have ruined things with Earth. He wouldn't hate or be mad at Earth, but he'll be mad at himself.

Negative emotions = Rez

Rez will use Monty's hatred for himself to corrupt him and Lunar and Earth will have to try and save Monty but the Astrals will be trying to destroy Monty cause the Astrals believe anyone who gets corrupted is just gone.... I don't think that's the case. I think there is a way to save corrupted individuals, but the Astrals just don't know that. This will lead to a

"Lunar and Earth vs. The Astrals vs. Rez" arc

And while I think they'll save Monty, I do think it will cause a lot of chaos and negative emotions for everyone cause Monty is very close to almost all of the celestial family. All I can say is

Lunar, Earth....

BUCKLE UP!

Happy (Not-so happy) October!

[spirk-trek]

thought my man from iowa would be enough to ward off the tornadoes :(

[betterthanbatman1]

Screaming crying sobbing shrieking punching kicking yelling bawling weeping LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

[pencildragons]

i cant help but wonder if john is going to use his newfound projection abilities to save arthur next episode??? like we have only seen him use it the once, and while that was rlly draining on arthur's body, he was also kind of mirroring the kiy. i do think it would be interesting narratively if john Did have this ability but couldnt use it without the threat of mutual destruction (arthur's life and john's humanity) HOWEVER it would be fascinating if john, fuelled by much more selfless reasons than a power grab or protecting just himself, was able to project in some manner to help. because god knows an evil knife to the chest is NOT within your average medieval english barber-dentist-doctor's skillset

[i3utterflyeffect]

ok. a few more Plushies/selkie!hangmans before i'm done drawing them

[pwurrz]

being obsessed with yakumo is a job and baby i’ve never called in a sick day!!!!!

[pikkish]

For as much as I love Doom, I think we can all agree that modern Doom's writing is a bit of a dumpster fire of questionable choices and TAG especially so. So,

I'm gonna play Dark Ages when it comes out, and probably even enjoy it, too, but boy, do I have next to no faith that they're not gonna somehow totally screw over the story they themselves already established...

[corvos-yaoi-hands]

Do you think Emily ever had Corvo use dark vision to check for monsters in her room