#it's okay cuz' this blog is open for all discussion and opinions :⁠^⁠)

[bsd-confessions]

☆From: @biscuits-corner ☆

Oh boy.. this sure is something..

Bare with me for a second, (personal opinion :P)

First thing to consider here, is if they know or not ◉⁠‿⁠◉ (short story: after finishing season 1 I thought he was cool and um..(I was 13 ok? I thought any long haired dude is pretty) but ofc after learning the truth I had to self-reflect 😔) now tell them :D

If they already do however, you might wanna try some of these:

-check if your friend's in that bad of a place (for example I read fanfics when I felt like I wanted to see the other side ��, no regrets it was written by a 12 yo, Aku and Gin saved me :3; Mori got locked up for being weird; super funny, 100% recommended)

-show them the manga version if they haven't already (his hair pulled so tight mf looks so goofy 😭)

-gaslight them into thinking that they just like his colour palette/outfit (excluding the pants tucked in his ugly boots (if anyone likes to do that irl, cool. Mori just can't pull nothing off, ok? He's a fkn DISAPPOINTMENT [personal]))

-if they like yosano or dazai, remind them

-try lobotomy/j

- tell them that someone out there (me) thinks that they're an absolute loser cuz' they really saw that beautiful man, Fukuzawa yet they chose the p3do 🙄

<3

(whew ;; sorry for the long rant)

[shdwtouch]

🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. || accepting !

okay. this is one of those things that, surface level, I am okay with. but the more I think about it ? the more ???? I get lmao and that thing is DNIs

like. fandoms, age range, etc ? that all makes sense to me. I feel like those are fair boundaries we experience in our every day life. but then its like. DNI if you follow / interact with xyz. and I'm just ???? (AS A NOTE: set and communicate your boundaries, please ! this is incredibly valid and not what I'm frustrated with. make no mistake, your boundaries SHOULD be respected, no matter what. I just have a lot of mixed feelings about DNIs that involve specific individuals.)

I keep rewriting my thoughts cuz I know this is going to be... a controversial topic. and I think the issue arises when it becomes a "me or them" situation. its an ultimatum, you can either interact with me OR them, not both. and I'm just... I guess I don't understand the thought process for people ? like ? I'm not that person, and most likely I only know / follow them in passing, so... why am I a problem ? why am I the point of contention in your dislike of another individual, you know ?

I have folks blocked. I even blacklist their URLs. but, in general I don't think I would judge someone based on their association with another person. I mean, depending on what that other person did. (lets use tr*mp as an example. I would v much judge someone who supports him.) like. there are plenty of people on this site that I do not like. but unless someone is blatantly on me, talking about those people, interacting with them in a way that makes me feel unsafe... I'm not going to avoid them just cuz they are associating with people I don't like ? just blindly being like me or them doesn't make sense to me at all. you are actually assuming the character of people based on who they choose to interact with !

and its also like. there are receipts. usually, if someone is in a DNI its cuz they've had a callout written on them. at that point, you take what you are given / know and make the best judgement you can. but in the case of "DNI if you interact with random joe blog #45" and then you don't say why its like... ? what is the problem here ?

also like. please. do not say you are willing to discuss / disclose why someone is in your DNI unless you are actually of a mental state to do so. the amount of times I've gone to folks like hey I noticed you added this person to your DNI and that folks can ask you about it ? and asked genuine questions, only to have them be upset talking about it or even upset with me for asking questions like... please. take care of yourself. you don't need to explain yourself to anyone, but similarly you need to be prepared for people to be like ???? in that case. if you offer explanations then I will ask until I am satisfied, and maybe that isn't a good way to approach it... but you also just can't expect people to take you at your word, even with receipts. there are two sides to every story, and in my experience... most personal DNIs, I'm sorry, but they're all based on petty drama, misunderstandings, etc.

I'm losing steam so I feel like I'm not making very clear points, I apologize. at the end of the day, I'm just ??? at DNIs. I will respect yours, but I will also be like ??????? and want explanations if you're willing to supply. I hope that what I've written isn't complete nonsense lmao but like I said. tl;dr I'm just ???? at DNIs

ALSO I JUST WANT TO ADD: I am so, so, so open to hearing folks thoughts (as long as they are politely presented uwu), especially those who employ DNIs including specific people ! like, why do you employ them ? what is your thought process ? I am genuinely curious to what your experience is ! and I think it would help me sort out the mixed feelings I have, cuz (again, two sides to every story) I only have my perspective, which doesn't have the need to use DNIs. like, I imagine for some folks it really is a matter of escaping abusers, stalkers, etc and seeing those names can be triggering. so yeah, I'm open to hearing your perspective !

and again, reiterating. set and communicate your boundaries, and put your foot down when they are crossed. that is not what I am criticizing, and I do my utmost to respect the DNIs of those I follow <3 even if your boundaries don't make sense to me they are still valid and deserve to be respected !! that is not up for debate.

[coralsgrimes]

To a certain extent, I understand the interest, I get why people speculate and obsess over this Ben and Julianne thing, how it can feel like a moral stance to call her/him/them out etc. But… are you really a fan if your sole focus and energy is on critiquing him? Genuinely, is it an enjoyable endeavour? From the outside looking in, it’s seems like a lot of negativity. In good faith, what is the benefit to running a blog like this? Is critiquing more enjoyable that appreciating, is that it? 🤔

Never said I was a fan? I'm fan of the DRamA lol Waiting for the Del Toro show tho cuz it seems like one of the few good choices he made lately...

I guess I find there is nothing to appreciate Ben for anymore? He is very bland and then you start to notice his need to be constantly praised, the very questionable choices he made the last two years and absolute lack of accountability. But thats just my negative opinion right? Sooo THEY BOTH been playin the game IN FUCKING PUBLIC and enjoying it is the least I can do now, locked at home ;c seriously if u so private just take it privately or else everyone will see it...

Last time I've been so much into shit was the Chris Evans fandom meltdown over Jenny Slate. Good times. Made couple quite popular memes... Anyone remembers that time? 2016 right? What was the one blog about him? Something with castle or kingdom I think. And OH fun fact bout that time. Our Benny Boy was tapping 20-something yo model/s back then... And being very friendly with Chris D'Elia. Sad that he made sure to erase most of his connections to him last summer... wonder why that could be?

And I hope you understand it's a joke right? I mean him no harm cuz beside all the shit he seems like nice guy who got caught up in the Hollywood tar pit. AND another of my bad negative opinions; the freakin very sexual fan creations of him all over internet are borderline sexual harassment, but thats okay cuz its fandom?

Hough is a joke in her own rights and i have personal hatred towards her, won't discuss it... and she lied to me cuz ive tried to be kind to my body but my endo only got worse

And thanks for asking me nicely lol I've got two very unkind asks too, sooo kudos to you good anon <3

AND LIKE NO ONE DISCUSSES THIS SHIT HERE (except one blog which i love for their unbiased opinions) SO ITS FREE MARKET... and i really got all of this shit from twitter, timestamps all from yesterday, wasn't even looking. Just some of the biggest fan accounts made me aware. I have a feeling it will only get worse from now on, it's not obsessing anymore, it's not hidden. All is in the open and our fairy queen all but confirmed.

[clickabletale]

Guess who’s back? Back again-

I thought I was done with this but alas I found out @wolfwarrior142 who apparently unhid her profile after mines came back and got some anon hate over this. 

I hadn’t touched her Tumblr after my reblog since I did mine’s publicly on my blog which I thought was enough to illustrate how bizarre her response was and after her posts disappeared, and I thought that was that so there was no need to talk about the matter. 

Until now where I checked her account from my reblog and saw it was up to see this new text post. The reblog feature was disabled so I will have to reenact it here. 

I only ask, whoever is sending her messages, please stop. That doesn’t solve anything and from how insane her posts and logic are, it’s not worth the issue and it isn’t your place to tangled with it. 

This will be (hopefully) my last message. I say hopefully since I don’t know what will happen after so I keep in mind what could change if something new comes out. 

The post went like this

Anonymous asked:

don’t you feel stupid now for attacking someone over their opinion publicly, now you’re gonna hide? hypocrisy, hypocrisy~

wolfwarrior: I’m assuming you’re the dumb bitch who made that post (or their friend). Just gonna say that you shouldn’t post your dumbass ship hate in the ship tag. For one, it wasn’t even valid hate. You made it sound like you never watched the fuckin show. Also, just to make things clear, I’m not mad that plance didn’t become canon. I was sad, but I figured, oh well. It ain’t my show, it’s not the end of the world, they’re just fictional characters, and there’s no point in getting worked up over it. And then this dumb bitch drops by, tags the goddamn ship tag (even tho its common knowledge for anyone with a brain to be a decent fucking person and not do that, regardless of whether or not they like the ship), and makes a dumbass post while whining that oh boo hoo, poor me, I’m gonna get attacked. Yes you will, you dumbass, because you’re being a moron and an asshole for no reason while literally begging to get shit on. I know you probably get your rocks off to people calling out the dumb shit that you do, but I still wanted to call you out for being antagonistic. Legit, tagging any tags for a ship and then shitting on the ship opens you up to being shit on for needlessly being a bitch, and we have all the right to for you coming into the tag and acting that way. And you or someone else said in another anon message that I’m being “toxic,” but nah, I’m not. I’m just calling you out for being an antagonistic asshole who has no regards for decent tagging, and then I left. I said what I wanted to say, and then I left. I could have picked apart your post, because you made piss-poor “points,” but that was pointless because I knew you wouldn’t have cared if a plance fan had debated with you. I at least wanted to point out your poor decision to tag the goddamn ship names, you dumb fuck. Sorry that I didn’t roll over to you being an asshole and be nice. I’m not gonna do that, and I shouldn’t have to when you were being an antagonistic bitch while crying that “I’m afraid of getting attacked for this.” And I wasn’t attacking you, or at least not extremely. I’m just calling you out for making dumbass choices, and you didn’t like that. Oops, not fucking sorry. Also, I love how you say I’m being a hypocrite for “running.” I blocked you and that other fuck because I didn’t want anymore comments from you popping up in my notes. I said what I wanted to say and was done, because if I hadn’t I knew it was gonna further the argument. Also cuz I was about to go into class for 4 hours and didn’t want to be distracted by your dumbasses. But no matter what, at least I had the decency to actually say my opinions in public where my name was visible. I wasn’t afraid of doing that, cuz I meant what I said and wanted to be publicly honest. Apparently you can’t tho, and neither can the person who sent that other message if it wasn’t you, cuz both are anonymous. You’re too much of a little bitch to show your actual name or use an alternate account to send a message, so you send it anonymously instead. Its never looks good for you when you send anon hate. I try my best to never send anon messages unless it’s not antagonistic, because if I’m gonna say it, I need to make sure I’m confident enough to say it with my url showing. Otherwise, I’m just being immature by sending anonymous hate. But obviously you don’t care about being an immature little bitch who is too much of a wimp to send hate directly to someone with your name showing. That let’s me to know that I’m not the immature one here. Also, if you decide to continue to be immature and send anon hate, I’m not gonna respond further. This is the last response you’ll get from me, because antagonistic babies like you aren’t worth more of my time. Have fun hiding behind disguises and crying about being shit on even tho you 100% asked for it.

First off:  I’m assuming you’re the dumb bitch who made that post (or their friend). Just gonna say that you shouldn’t post your dumbass ship hate in the ship tag. For one, it wasn’t even valid hate. You made it sound like you never watched the fuckin show.

So just gonna say, I didn’t send these. When you went dark, I left it at my reblog. Simple as that. I also don’t know a “friend” you’re talking about. I talked about this to my mutuals but I didn’t see them involved in this at all after the topic went dead. The only one I know who was involved with the post was princessbuttershitz I think? (I can’t with the name, I’m sorry XD) I had not known this user until I saw they joined in and reblogged my post on some stuff I hadn’t talked about, but for transparency that is it. They don’t follow me from what I can see or talked to me further than that so it’s just whatever. 

And second, how was my post ship hate? Flat out tell me? Did I call Pidge a horrible person for Lance? No. Did I demonize the age gap? No. Where did you see hate in that post when all I talked about was doubting Plance being canon, talked about the “development” in comparison to Lance’s romance with Allura and rivalry to friendship with Keith? Please tell me with highlights, I’d like to know.

You also say you don’t care Plance wasn’t canon (good for you, I hope you still enjoy it regardless.) and that it wasn’t something to get worked up over. I completely agree, however, if you did believe that why did you bother to respond so hostile like you did? That doesn’t sound right, you said you shouldn’t get worked up over those things right? Especially my post was only a few sentences talking about doubting Plance was going to be endgame, not as the ship as a whole. (Catch me repeating that here.)

Also I have seen the show since 2017-2018. I got into it and it got me through a hard time, I was there for a lot of the seasons. You can see it on my archive. So a big statement you make there. 

Moving on-

“And then this dumb bitch drops by, tags the goddamn ship tag (even tho its common knowledge for anyone with a brain to be a decent fucking person and not do that, regardless of whether or not they like the ship), and makes a dumbass post while whining that oh boo hoo, poor me, I’m gonna get attacked. Yes you will, you dumbass, because you’re being a moron and an asshole for no reason while literally begging to get shit on. I know you probably get your rocks off to people calling out the dumb shit that you do, but I still wanted to call you out for being antagonistic.”

Guys. I implore you to read my first post. It is the lightest thing I have made. I made it to just be upfront about my opinions in a respectful manner in words than how many other fans would recycle argument to make the ship or characters look bad. 

Also with the parentheses, what if it was a Plance shipper who actively made content whether it be theories/fanfics/art/etc. and made my post, you would attack them the same? I sure fucking hope not. Jesus.

I didn’t want that to happen since I genuinely wanted to treat it like a discussion instead of another poorly made ship insult like people on Twitter did back then. I could’ve gone harder and made it pettier than I did but that would delegitimize my argument.

Once again, besides your tag claim, how was I antagonistic in my post? It’s on you to prove it since you’re making the claim. Shouldn’t be hard to prove if you insist it this much. 

My blog is open for people to see and the only person who has made this an issue is you, no one else in the notes. Only person who I can think of is Swindle94 but they were at least more mature than you.

Legit, tagging any tags for a ship and then shitting on the ship opens you up to being shit on for needlessly being a bitch, and we have all the right to for you coming into the tag and acting that way. And you or someone else said in another anon message that I’m being “toxic,” but nah, I’m not. I’m just calling you out for being an antagonistic asshole who has no regards for decent tagging, and then I left.

Once again focusing on the tags. Okay, upfront. So? If I was attacking Plancers with that tag on, that would be valid. All I did was say “hey plance being canon? i disagree, here’s why.”

I’m sorry but if a few sentence post gets you riled up like that, I don’t believe you don’t care. You obviously do. Especially when you replied publicly to this anon. That is your fault.

Also, yes, you are being toxic for responding like this. I had no insults to the Plance community or the ship in my first post. You charged head-on with no regard and decided to belittle me instead of either ignoring or talking it out like the others. Which is a toxic mindset, using insults to defend your fictional couple. So don’t try to have both, it’s not gonna work.

I could have picked apart your post, because you made piss-poor “points,” but that was pointless because I knew you wouldn’t have cared if a plance fan had debated with you.

Link to my replies to two others who reblogged my post: https://clickabletale.tumblr.com/post/190254499687/swindle94-thats-not-what-i-meant-i-shouldve

https://clickabletale.tumblr.com/post/190254645477/i-shouldve-used-another-word-for-it-while-they

Honestly, if you did pick apart my points instead that would be fine and I welcome it. Would’ve been better than your first response. I’m just gonna say you aren’t going to because you know you can’t.

I at least wanted to point out your poor decision to tag the goddamn ship names, you dumb fuck. Sorry that I didn’t roll over to you being an asshole and be nice. I’m not gonna do that, and I shouldn’t have to when you were being an antagonistic bitch while crying that “I’m afraid of getting attacked for this.” And I wasn’t attacking you, or at least not extremely. I’m just calling you out for making dumbass choices, and you didn’t like that. Oops, not fucking sorry. Also, I love how you say I’m being a hypocrite for “running.” I blocked you and that other fuck because I didn’t want anymore comments from you popping up in my notes. I said what I wanted to say and was done, because if I hadn’t I knew it was gonna further the argument.

Once again, to anyone who wants the original post it is here: https://clickabletale.tumblr.com/post/190247521977/i-remember-i-was-scared-to-say-this-back-when-the

If I’m being antagonizing in my words, let me know where please and thank you. 

And you only worded your post in an attacking manner (you did, throwing insults fast. Don’t tip toe around it, you fired at the most minial shit.)

Also not sure about the running comment? I don’t recall calling you a hypocrite on that, I don’t know what you mean by that.

Also cuz I was about to go into class for 4 hours and didn’t want to be distracted by your dumbasses. But no matter what, at least I had the decency to actually say my opinions in public where my name was visible. I wasn’t afraid of doing that, cuz I meant what I said and wanted to be publicly honest. Apparently you can’t tho, and neither can the person who sent that other message if it wasn’t you, cuz both are anonymous.

I did, my original post. I did so in a way that explained my thoughts in a non-insulting manner. 

You just came in unloaded and wrong, you should just step back to think before replying so people will actually listen and reason with you and no think you are insane.

At least your honest I guess? But that kind of backfired if you hid your profile after. My post is still up, with your words for anyone who wants to see it. Even linking right here. 

And once again, I don’t care to message you since you did block me and dipped. I left it at my reblog with responding to you and talked about the isssue on how dumb it was to get angry over since the only one who seems to be this angry over it, is you.

I don’t want anyone coming for you, and I will say again if anyone intends to: don’t. That doesn’t solve anything so don’t come to belittle her. 

You’re too much of a little bitch to show your actual name or use an alternate account to send a message, so you send it anonymously instead. Its never looks good for you when you send anon hate. I try my best to never send anon messages unless it’s not antagonistic, because if I’m gonna say it, I need to make sure I’m confident enough to say it with my url showing. Otherwise, I’m just being immature by sending anonymous hate. But obviously you don’t care about being an immature little bitch who is too much of a wimp to send hate directly to someone with your name showing. That let’s me to know that I’m not the immature one here. Also, if you decide to continue to be immature and send anon hate, I’m not gonna respond further. This is the last response you’ll get from me, because antagonistic babies like you aren’t worth more of my time. Have fun hiding behind disguises and crying about being shit on even tho you 100% asked for it.

Once again, wolfwarrior142. I don’t care to see you or send things like this. I don’t advocate those messages or hate to you, I want it to stop if it keeps happening but you don’t have a smoking gun in this. 

You obviously have some issues and you aren’t arguing them rationally, and you are advocating for attacks over the smallest shit being a tag about disagreeing two fictional characters were gonna bone. How do you justify something so ridiculous? 

So no matter how much you try to say you’re not a toxic fan if you go out to insult people over their opinion or the tags or whatever when it’s not inciting hate against the ship or you don’t bother to show how it’s hate or debate it.

That is toxic. You can’t spin it around. 

So that is it. I hope this is the last. I’m still in disbelief at how insanely she reacts and justifies her behavior. This is not okay, nothing about her response is okay. It’s a shitty thing to do and I hope you don’t do this to anyone else, that’s all I gotta say.

[whenimgoodandready]

What is this? Who is that in that picture? And what is “Miraculous Ladybug”? (researches through my Tumblr blog archives) Well, apparently I’m a young woman who has a social media blog that writes these reviews (and rebloging interesting posts for other things) for a French children’s animated show and points things out along with expressing my opinion on each episode! Okay, I don’t remember watching this episode, but I’ll see it again and go through the rest of my reviews to help refresh my memories (rewatches “Oblivio” again, reads through the previous reviews and checks out the shows wiki), Okay, so here’s what I discovered:

*Oblivio-So I found the English dub of this episode and get this, this Ladybug and Cat Noir are costumed superheroes who wake up in an elevator with no memory of who one another is or what had happened before and they detransform as teenagers in front of each other! Ladybug is this clumsy French-Chinese baker girl named Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Cat Noir is this sheltered rich male model guy named Adrien Agreste and not only do they have amnesia, but their Kwamies, which are these “bugmice/genies”, have amnesia too! I read that this wasn’t the first time they had a “reveal”, but the last one had their eyes closed for an owl villain named “Dark Owl” (and he was their principal?). Marinette looks really cute and Adrien looks adorable as well.

They get out of the elevator and after going through their bags and pockets discover their identities and realize they need to stay away from this supervillain (that person in the picture) named Oblivio who can erase people’s memories and is the one responsible for all this. Marinette and Adrien try to call their parents for help, but Adriens father, a fashion designer named Gabriel, isn’t answering and to my horror, it was cuz he’s the major supervillain, Hawk Moth, who creates these supervillains to get Ladybug and Cat Noirs miraculouses (those magic earrings/ring respectively) and give him God-like powers! And his son doesn’t know about it along with him not knowing he’s a superhero! Shocking! Marinette, however, gets in contact with her mom and she lets her know about Ladybug and Cat Noir which makes her realize they need to keep their alter egos a secret and fight Oblivio. Problem? They don’t know how to transform and use their powers! Womp! Womp! Womp! Despite that, they pretty much handle everything with quick thinking and analysis. Hmm, smart kids!

One of the Kwamies, the black cat looking one, Plagg, is a lazy and stinky camembert cheese obsessed fellow who was all, “Screw this I’m outta here” and leaves the kids and the other Kwamie, the cute ladybug looking one, Tikki, to fend for themselves. What a selfish little........thing. Oblivio almost catches the gang, but Marinette uses a skill that was almost like Ladybugs power, “Lady-vision”, and they send Oblivio away. Lol! What a dumb villain.

Marinette and Adrien believe they’re a couple from one another’s pictures on their phones and I read that there’s this “love square” where it’s just the two of them along with their alter egos and here’s how it goes: Adrienette:one sided secret crush on Marinettes side, Ladynoir:one sided open crush on Cat Noirs side, Marichat:strictly platonic and Ladrien:mutual secret crush. Oh God! This is so frustrating! Everyone’s stressing out about it from the comments I read! And the two don’t even know about their own secret identities out of safety reasons! This is Season 3 and they still haven’t figured it out yet! What!? How do they keep this show going!? Is this what’s keeping the ratings up!? I also found out I’m all for Adrienette cuz, they can’t be superheroes forever! It was cute however that they got to fall in love with each other all over again ღ. They’re such a cute couple. I see that they’re very parallel with each other too. Are these two written in stone!? “Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste, Forever”!? Cuz they’re like, two halves of a whole fated couple!

Marinette researches through her phone (like how I’m trying to remember with all this) and finds a video depicting what occurred before the elevator incident and sees that as Ladybug, she drew a picture of a phone and a turtle next to it as a reminder, so she goes through her contacts and finds a turtle pic with the name Fu, Master Fu. He’s this hundred year old Chinese man who’s this “guardian” of the Miracule Box and is the one who gave Marinette and Adrien their miraculouses when Hawk Moth first showed up. He lets them know about who they are and how to use their powers, so Tikki transforms Marinette into Ladybug while sadly, Adrien is stuck without Plagg :(.

Later, Plagg comes back after a guilt trip of “psychological harassment” from seeing Adriens posters all over Paris (Lol! They’re literally signs) and transforms him as Cat Noir. As they battle Oblivio with their enhanced flexibilities and reflex’s that they forgot how to use, so they just do the dodge and shield moves. Ladybug reads through her instructional manual on her yo-yo weapon that pretty much does everything (like Cat Noirs baton) and finds out she has to destroy the weapon the supervillain has and purify the hakuna matata akuma that transformed them into a supervillain. Huh, who knew butterflies could be evil? Not to mention it’s Season 3 and Hawk Moth still hasn’t defeated them yet! He did come close, too close, but thanks to Ladybugs “good luck” power, they always come out victorious! However, he finds out that they’re “love” for each other could be their downfall! Don! Don! Don! You know, from what I saw in my research, they’re love is mostly what gets them in trouble, this is gonna be a toughie for young hormonal teenage superheroes.

Oblivio is defeated and it turns out, they were Marinette and Adriens best friends, Alya and Nino, respectively. Alya is an aspiring journalist who blogs more about Ladybug than I do and is a fox superhero named Rena Rouge and Nino is a hip hop cultured D.J who’s Alyas boyfriend and also a turtle superhero named Carapace (wait, there are two turtles?), except they know their identities compared to the other two heroes. They got akumatized cuz they snuck off during a field trip to play a babyish app game on their tablet and they got caught and humiliated and due to that negative emotion, Hawk Moth targeted them and turned them into Oblivio to make people forget their incident and spread villainy. Before the final clean up with the Miraculous Ladybug power that fixes up all the damages that have been done, Ladynoir shares a kiss and then, BOOM! Instant mind erase! They go back to their old feelings for each other. Marinette was embarrassed that she kissed Cat, but hey! It’s not like it was the first time from what I discovered *cough*”DarkCupid”*cough* whereas Adrien was thrilled, but sadly forgot about it again! Lol, sorry kid.

Looking back on my reviews, I changed it throughout the years. Starting 2015, I wrote these reviews by using those Ladybug emojis as the frames and by the second season, I used bigger ladybug pics as frames and then in this season, I used these prettier ladybugs and added in pictures! The more I researched this show, the more I grew to love it! It has all my favorite things:Paris, France, cats, cute characters, bright colors, nice music, comedy, adventure and interesting plot lines that gets darker the more I watch it! I even found out I collect their action dolls and play with them on my Eiffel Tower lamp. There’s even a web series and movie of this show and I wanna see all of it! I even wrote a mini fanfic about this episode plot and it was really funny. It was practically the first 30 seconds of this episode! Wow! I really am a writer! I also found out I met some new friends on here that love the show too and we discuss our thoughts and feelings of it like this one blogger @vulpineveritas whom I first show these reviews before the public as feedback. She’s real nice and you know what? I-(the Miraculous Ladybug power takes effect and restores my memories) Whoa! What happened!? (looks through my amnesiac written review) Aw man! Now I have to rewrite this whole review with my up-to-date mind set! :P.

[table-top-romulan-playing-games]

Movies I have seen so far in 2018

A few of these arent new movies, just ones ive watched for the first time in 2018. I felt like doing this cuz I really love watching movies and felt that it might be a good version of those "good things" jars, but instead it's movies I saw. Some reviews are short, mostly cuz I didnt really have much in the way of opinions, but I did have something to say.

Just incase you havent seen them. I have tried to keep them spoiler free, but if you dont want even vague non spoiler spoilers, the list of movies is as follows; 

The Grand Budapest; The greatest showman; Jumanji: out of the jungle, King Arthur: legend of the sword, The Black Panther, Shape of water, Thor Ragnarok, the Emoji Movie, the Good Dinosaur, Jurassic world, Incredibles 2, Hotel Transylvania 3, Ant-man, A Wrinkle in Time, Lara croft: tomb raider, Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2, Spider-man homecoming, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged), Captain America civil war, Avengers Infinty War, Deadpool 2016, King Arthur the one with kiera knightly, Deadpool 2, The Nutcracker, four realms, Venom, Love, Simon, Ready player one, Aquaman, Solo, a star wars story, Ghost stories (2018), Wreck it Ralph, Ralph breaks the internet, Goosebumps 2, Hidden figures, The meg, Pacific Rim, Pacific rim uprising, Wrath of the Titans, Mission impossible: fallout,Oceans 8, The Breadwinner, Mune, Operation Finale, The House With A Clock In Its Walls, Bad times at the El Royale, Outlaw king, Gnome alone, Journey to the center of the earth, Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, Vvitch, Ex machina, To all the boys ive loved before, Extraordinary Tales, The Golden Compass, Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil, Dragon heart, The black klansman, Robin Hood 2018, The Princess of Thieves, First Man, Bohemian Rhapsody, What we do in the Shadows, Overlord, For the Love of Spock, Next Gen, Small Foot, The Spy who Dumped Me, The Nun, Kin, Crazy Rich Asians, Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse, A simple favor, Predator 2018, Rampage, 47 meters down, 2036 Origin Unknown, 2001 A Space Oddessey, The Martian

The grand Budapest hotel - good, great visuals. I enjoyed it.

The greatest showman - wonderful music, actual circus parts were good, the rest was boring. Its really short, and I felt it focused to much on the drama in pt barnums life, too much focus on a silly fuax love triangle, not enough on the acts themselves. I went in hoping to see the acts interact and actually be presented as the forefront. The beginning showed this magnificent scene with the acts, with this wonderful musical number that made me tear up. But then, it was just about Barnum and his kids being boring most of the time. The songs and musical scenes though? Absolutely wonderful, magnificent, stunning, and entertaining. Zendayas and Zac efrons characters duets? Beautiful, I loved the song and choreography. I just feel like the emphasis should have been on the circus itself. Hugh jackman. Needs. To. Do. More. Musicals.

Jumanji: out of the jungle - hilarious omg I laughed my ass off!

King Arthur: legend of the sword: wtf was this movie bro? I mean. I have a new song in my cars playlist, but wtf.

The Black Panther - IT WAS SO COOL! I loved the visuals and the storyline. Shuri is my favorite genius and I can’t wait for more Black Panther

Shape of water: absolutely beautiful omg

Thor Ragnarok: you mean that was the actual movie, that tumblr wasn’t just fuckin with me, like, those were real ass scenes that were filmed?

the Emoji Movie: bad, forgettable, literally did not remember watching it till a friend asked me.

the Good Dinosaur: literally a children's movie, idek why I watched it tbh

Jurassic world: THE HUBRIS OF MAN! THE INDO RAPTOR! BLUE! They made... An indoraptor. Not just any raptor, oh no, that's not enough for the hubris of man, its an indoraptor. What's an indoraptor you may ask? Well it's when you mix a raptor, with the indominous rex DNA. But Cotie, didn't the indominous rex already have raptor DNA? Wasnt that the whole thing that it was a t-rex with raptor DNA? Yes, yes it was. But this one is different, it's smaller, it's smarter, it made to obey commands like a war machine, it's the I N D O R A P T O R! So it's just a super powered velociraptor? Yes, yes it is. So what makes it special? THE HUBRIS BEHIND IT!

Incredibles 2: awesome! I loved it! Those flashing scenes really were no joke though. I don't have epilepsy, but damn those scenes were hard to look at. But I absolutely love the fact that edna babysat jack jack for a night, and gave him a super babysuit. I hope we get to see more of the other superheroes helping out the incredibles!

Hotel Transylvania 3: it was a good movie. Its the only Adam Sandler movie series I can stand, but it was a decent movie. I like the introduction of the van helsing family, and the whole premise. Plus I love the message that its possible to fall in love again.

Ant-man: "in like the Flynn" niiiiiiiiice Tangled ref! "ANT-THONY!!!!" Ok that was a fun and hilarious movie. I fucking love the three wombats, especially Luis omg. Also I love Scott lang relationship with his daughter and that he was the driving force behind his motivation. Also not gonna lie, I kinda watched this one so I could go see Ant-man and the Wasp, but I liked this one too.

A Wrinkle in Time: FUCK ITUNES NOT WANTING TO WORK DURING THIS MOVIE! ok but Chris Pine as a Dad? Awesome. "Happy anniversary, if only you'd dissapear too" wow, these high school preps are viscous. Also I love the little kid calling out grown ups for being pieces of shits. Also this movie was adorable and heart felt and I loved the mix of fantasy and science that made it a science fantasy movie omg.

Lara croft: tomb raider: ok but the girl who kicked Lara crofts butt in the beginning has me gay as Fuck man. "OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!" OK calm down Nicolas cage.

Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2: omg that was indeed another real marvel movie I had just seen. I can't believe the stooges are a space family that just, does stupid things. I love them all. 

We gonna start some parralels; a wrinkle in time - a movie about two siblings trying to find their dad who has been lost for 4 years. They get him back through the power of love; Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - a daughter finds some adverturing stuff to lead her to her father who had been missing for 7 years. Tries to get him back by killing men. Doesn't, and then kills more men; Gaurdians of the Galaxy volume 2: a boy finds his father after 34 years, but turns out he is a huge fucking jerk, also finds that Mary poppins was his dad after all, but then both Mary poppins and jerk dad died, with varying degrees of mourning from Boy.

Spider-man homecoming: omg so many second hand embarrassment scenes but it was so good! I laughed my ass off at the ending omg tony no. But also, that awkward moment when ur dates dad threatens your life and he actually meant it...

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Dude. Duuuuuuude that end credit scene. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. That movie was just as hilarious as the first ant-man movie omg! It was fun and incredibal and I'm so happy the 3 combats were there. I was losing my shit over the baba yaga stuff!

Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged): god, I'm 9 minutes in and I hate this movie... 13 minutes in an ur telling me this could've been avoided if marvel hadnt turned two Romani (from what I remember of mutant canon) characters into, not only human expirements instead of mutants, but voluntary hydra agents. -sighhhh-... 20 minutes in and why, why Tony, just... Tell the team, why do we gotta have lazy 'i dont wanna communicate' writing bullshit...Jarrrrrviiiiissssss my boy T.T... Did they really just try to make dissimising female characters and using their achievements as a sort of 'my horse is bigger than yours' as quality character writing? God this Bruce/Nat romance is so forced... Oh no, Ultron fucking appeared, why does he sound like a bad Tony stark impression? Ultron is fucking annoying... Fuck man, the plot with the twins have arrived, and I hate it... -mentions Wakanda- thanks for reminding of a better movie I could be watching... God, the acting is either way too dry, or way too ham... Wow... Clint is... The most mature person in the movie... Wow, the scene where Nat reveals she is infertile, is worse than I thought it would be, and I knew it would be awful... Hour and a half in, still bad... Though ultron is now acting like a c h i l d... Oh no, now we creating Ultron 2.0 this time its Jarvis... Please discuss it with the team, pleeeease... Annnnnnnd U didn't... Fuck... I'm so tired, 1 hour and 31 minutes and the team is fighting... Thor coming in for the jarvis Saaaave! Yassss vision with the worthy of the hammer! Okay the battle scene with ultron was pretty cool. Still dont like the movie over all.

Captain America civil war: not as much fighting as advertised. Too much 'we arent going to sit down and communicate' trope. Honestly I was too bored and tired to really actually pay attention to closely... All I got from it is the russos need to learn what a get along shirt is and be better film makers.

Avengers Infinty War: wtf, what the fuck, was that. That was some fuck right there. You are telling me thanos was really able to get the soul stone like That? And the mind stone like That? And all that other bull shit? Y'all Russo better be ready to have thanos ass kick in the next avengers movie. But damn that was some shit that happened.

Deadpool 2016: I loved every bit of the movie omg, it was everything I hoped for out of a deadpool movie.

King Arthur the one with kiera knightly: That uh, sure was a King Arthur movie? Way less weird than King Arthur Legend of the sword. Merlin didnt cast magic, and arthur was a Roman, but guinevere is a kick ass archer, soooo acceptable...

Deadpool 2: THAT WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS I LOVE DEADPOOL SO MUCH! god I love this movie, I would die for dominoe.

The Nutcracker, four realms: such a cute af movie omggggggggggggg. I loved Captain Phillip the nutcracker soldier and the gold highlight they put on his lips 💓

Venom: listen. I did no t see this film for quality. I saw it for the symbi ote ok. Ok. I lov it. But blease for the love of god.... Y.... Did...... The......... Symbiote........ Take the shape of a sexy comic book lady..... When........ The same sexyness could have been achieved by letting the symbiote be big beefy orc like lady....

Love, Simon: I'm not one for these films... I dont like these films... They are teary eyed wholesome cake frosting that make my cold gay heart sick... That being said... I relate, I relate so much... Also... If I was in simons shoes and the blackmailing weasle Martin outed me? They would still be scraping him off the pavement... That is all.

Ready player one: it wasn’t as bad as some of the things i heard about it on tumblr, but its not one I will watch again.

Aquaman: "show off, heh, I could've just pee'd on it" is the exact quality line I want out of my films. Also that was soooooooo awesome! I loved it! More Aquaman!

Solo, a star wars story: Not bad, but not great, it kept on plot really well, not memorable but I won’t knock it. I still say the actor playing Han Solo looks photoshopped and not real.

Ghost stories (2018): awful... It was slow and boring, and I didnt like it... I rented it through itunes and it glitched part of the way through and I stopped being able to see the picture. Even after I got it working again I still didnt like it... Though I did like the message of "dont be a bystander", but the whole this was boriiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggggg.

Wreck it Ralph: okay, technically I caught the beginning like 4 or 5 years ago, but I finally actually watched it and it wasnt bad. Will go see the sequel.

Ralph breaks the internet: WAYYYYYY better than the emoji movie, also, I really loved the princesses scene, the bright colors, and following Venelope through the internet... Also.... Ralph........ WTF..................... Also............................. that Stan Lee cameo.................................... Heartbreaking............

Goosebumps 2: Mr. Chu and his Halloween obsession is me... Stones appearence had me dying omg... Also where tf r ppl getting these awesome super cool Halloween stuffs!

Hidden figures: IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING! omg such a great movie i fucking loved it. Couldnt understand a WORD of math that went on, but damn girls, calculate that shit.

The meg: listen... Listen... The trailer looked stupid... And ridiculous... I just... Wanted to know how bad... And it was bad... But it was incredibally enjoyable omg... I loved it... In all seriousness, it was actually a pretty beautiful movie when it came to marine life and the wonder behind it, and it was anti shark culling for fins, and it was very clearly "not all sharks are bad, they do as they do, but megalodon is about to fuck our shit up."... It was also fucking hilarious... My favorite character was meiying, the little 8 year old in the movie... The love plot wasnt forced and they way they did it the two leads were not having it and had actual chemistry... Just... Also the dog... The dog does not die... Pippin lives... The wedding is not ruined... Also the shark ate a billionaire soooooooo... We good meg... We good...

Pacific Rim: yes I know, I took a long ass time to watch this movie... But Listen... Explody robots and monsters... Hannibal chau... Look... I just... Sometimes take a long time to watch movies... You wanna know how long it took me to watch Merlin BBC? I watched every episode as it came out and then put off the last episode for 5 years... Listen...

Pacific rim uprising: ok I watched the first one so I could watch the one with my boi John Boyega in it.

Wrath of the Titans: wtf kind of movie... Like really what the f... Since when is zues ever responsible and wise.

Mission impossible, fallout: I liked it. It's an action movie. Saw it for my birthday, kinda interested in the other mission impossible movies now. I appreciate the advance tech and the obviously stupid impossible shit.

Oceans 8: Listen, i have never been interested in the Oceans franchise, i dont want to see crusty men steal things, but lads, im gay. Extremely gay, just, shamelessly gay.

The Breadwinner: holy shit that was a good movie.

Secret of the Kells: eh, it was a good movie. Not my favorite, but it was good. I mostly just like the animation.

Mune: Guardian of the Moon: dat was a cute movie, and also i loved Munes Design, he is a little fawn

Operation Finale: Wow, that was an amazing film, absolutely superb. Not at all like the trailers. Seriously, what is it and trailers where everything has to either be an high stakes action movie or a romantic comedy? but this film, spectacular.

The House With A Clock In Its Walls: A Neat little movie. Corny, but i liked it. like, its a kids movie in the same way A Wrinkle In Time is, but this one was little less disney-fied in the way that they needed to have this overarching lesson of empowerment, and more “this is a kids movie to enjoy, like Halloweentown”

Bad times at the El Royale: neat movie, somewhat engaging, kept losing focus at the slow parts... Liked the Chapter title cards... Can't remember who that "important person" was supposed to be.... I think I may have missed it...

Outlaw king: I liked it! Way better than Braveheart! Also.... Cpine was not that naked.... Butt....

Gnome alone: weird, didn't like it, like a bad combo of Mean Girls and Coraline?

Journey to the center of the earth: I said old movies were gonna be on this list now didnt I? Also this movie was awesome and I wish the book was real too.

Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy: Nice!!! I had been meaning to read the book before I watched the movie, but I've packed my book away soooo, MOVIE. Also out of all thw sci fi movies that have destroyed planets, this is by far the only good one.

Vvitch: it was okay... By the middle I was kinda wishing it would go faster. But it was okay.

Ex machina: I'm not done with the movie yet but it's so fucking creepy holy shit... Also "its kinda non-autistic" in relation to "aware of her own mind and mine"???? Wtffffffff.uggggghhhhhhhhhh ewwwweeweeewewweeeewwwwwww the talk about giving the robot a sexuality is so grooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss he gave her a working vag and hearing him talk about fucking the robot was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Mmmmmmmm no, did not like.

To all the boys ive loved before: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Also that sibling relationship was..... Relatable.

Extraordinary Tales: tales based on Edgar Allen Poe and holy sweet Jesus I loved it, it has multiple different art styles per story and I loved them soooooo much!

The Golden Compass: okay but how could you end on that cliffhanger and not at least put out another movie????

Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil: based on Basque folklore which I know nothing of, but it looked neat. It's also originally in basque but netflix has the English dub over. AND HOLY SWEET JESUS I KNOW THIS MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY BUT THE VOICE OVERS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Dragon heart: I didnt like it, there were better movies I could have seen, I'm not gonna reach for this one again...

The Black Klansman: Damn, I might very well be speechless. That was a Fantastic Movie, came at you like a bag of Bricks, and the ending when it went straight from a cross burning to the 2017 neo nazi rallies, to trumps “good people on both sides” speech, to everything that happened in 2017. The movie did NOT fuck around with anything. God Bless.

Robin Hood, 2018: Antifa film of the YEAR! Yeah Robin, Be a Class Traitor to the ruling class, Spread Wealth, Down with the 1%!

The Princess of Thieves: OMG Kiera Knightly as the daughter of robin and also a kick ass archer that causes trouble!!!! Loved it!

First Man: dude that movie was incredible, it read like you were seeing snapshots of his life, not completely invested, but as though you were a spirit looking at memories. I kinda liked it. I loved the silent scenes that filled the viewer with anxiety, like a realization of the gravity of what was happening. Omg. Good film A+

Bohemian Rhapsody: OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH OMGOMGOMGOMG MY QUEER HEART IS RESTORED AND THEY SAID BISEXUAL!!!!!

What we do in the Shadows: that was an enjoyable movie. I didn't quite like the reality show format but it was funny!

Overlord: That was a great movie! it had decently fast pacing, which is good that it was only an hour and forty-eight minutes long... They Plot-Ex-Machina’d alot of the movie, like the wounded soldier feeling fine for the main firefight, then remembering he was supposed to be wounded all of a sudden. I watched it with a friend who saw one character, turned to me and said “He’s cute, i hope he doesnt die” one (1) second before a landmine went off. Also, Ghouls created by science rather by supernatural means.

For the Love of Spock: -cries like a big baby-

Next Gen: screams of anti-tech ideals... Also.... Damn...... They are channeling the "addiction to iPhones" angle man, like, villianous angle...

Small Foot: Not bad, At least it was a Short movie, or at least it didnt feel like it was dragging on. The Songs were great though, I actually liked them and at least they were written for the movie and not like, a song that already existed...

The Spy who Dumped Me: I rented it through iTunes and it gave some Ukrainian nuts swangin in my face...

The Nun: it was okay, but let maurice theirult be a lesson; u see some creepy haunted shit, you grab a cross and you walk away. You dont go back to play hero, cuz then you get possessed.

Kin: there is a line in the movie that says "you got a decade of bad decisions under your belt" and I feel like that sums of this movies plot points...

Crazy Rich Asians: that was so gooooood! I don't normally go for romcoms, but ppl had been praising the film, and I actually liked it. I'm glad I saw the majong scene explain before I actually watched the scene, because it felt a shit ton more powerful.

Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse: AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! the animation was TOP NOTCH, like, omg!

A simple favor: I didnt like it... It tried to be both a thriller and what seemed like a parody of a thriller.

Predator, 2018: I kinda liked it, it was a mindless action movie, and the ending left it open for a badass sequal. I havent seen the other predator movies so I have no idea if this is in faith for the series, but im guessing yes.

The Martian: It was cool and chill, I liked it, also Mark Watney cussing out a government agency via a hundred thousand dollar communications outlet is.... Mood.

47 meters down: 2hrs of one woman having an absolute panic attack and being right to worry about sketchy diving boats.

2036 Origin Unknown: kinda what I feel like 2001 a space Oddessey wouldve been like if I had actually watched that movie... Oh shit the Borg!

2001 A Space Oddessey: Have I ever told y'all that I dont like Kubrick or his movies? His movies are the epitome of that pretentious art school boi style that just does too much and tries to pretend it's more than it is and sweet merciful god why is this one 2 and a half hours long! I'm 40 minutes in and I have a head ache from the over ise of classical music and boring slow pace of the movie. 2001 a space Oddessey is 2 and a half hours long and only has 1 hr of actual relevant film... The other 1 1/2 is just unending, weirdly colored space shots, two color inversion shots of planets and eyes, theremin and flute noises, and classical music set to nothingness

RAMPAGE: a 30ft alligator showed up about an hour and 10minutes into the movie and the first reaction was "well that sucks" and it killed me on sight. The movie is awesome! In am so glad I picked this as my last movie of 2018.

[seesarahaccomplishstuff]

Therapy today helped a bit.

I told my therapist how I’ve been having intense breakdowns since Monday and haven’t been doing okay.

She asked what happened and I told her how I thought the childhood stuff wouldn’t bother me because it was so long ago, but it’s so frustrating to see how much my parents fucked me up. And now there’s this huge list of ways I’m broken that won’t stop growing. And it’s my entire personality. And more people are leaving and that triggered my anxiety, and someone that I’m trying to trust massively crossed a boundary that made my rejection issues even worse.

So she nodded and said “you have a lot to work on. And you really jumped all into it, which is really great, but you’re going to feel like you’re losing for a while. It’s going to overwhelm you a lot. And it’s going to feel easier to lock yourself in your room and off yourself.” (Which I didn’t expect her to say, but she’s right) So I said, “I just don’t fully see the point in trying to fix 30 years of broken.”

“What’s wrong with your personality?” “It’s all fucked up. Everything I do is codependent.” “Sure. Give me an example.” And I couldn’t think of one offhand, so I said, “the thing I realized the other day was I do something for someone because I care right? Which is fine. But also when people are stressed about their situation they get mad. And when that happens I get snapped at and shoved away. So I help to avoid that too I think.”

She was not sold on that. “You used to buy dinner for friends a lot. You did that so you wouldn’t get in trouble?” “No. I did it because I like when people do nice things for me and they don’t always make sure they can eat so I do it so they feel cared about and are healthy.” “That’s just being kind. When you would pay a bill for them they typically pay it right back. So is that codependent?” “No. They need help so I help and they pay it back.” “The times you did it when you didn’t have money to spare. (Which I argued and she called me out lol) The times you let them blow off repaying- that was codependent. You do have a lot of codependent tendencies. But kindness is inherently codependent. You can’t rip apart any time you’ve shown someone kindness. Your biggest codependency issue is not holding boundaries for yourself.”

“You need to repeat the phrase ‘People treat you the way you’ve taught them to treat you’.” “My friend used to say that to me at least once a week.” “Yea well, they’re smart and we’ve covered that you needed to listen to what they’d tell you more than you did. You also need to remember that you don’t control other’s emotions. And other people don’t control yours.”

“People think you’re manipulative and controlling. That’s what they’ve taken from your behavior. You can’t control that. You know it’s not what you intended. You know you’ve been improving for many months. I know you have. But you made them feel a certain way and their opinions didn’t change. You can look at that and acknowledge it and re-examine your behavior like you are. But you can’t change their minds. And their feelings don’t make you that person. So fixating on it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

And then she asked me if I was doing all of this for me or them and I told her I’m having a hard time prioritizing myself. That it pisses me off when people pull the “great pain means great growth. You’ll look back and smile” bullshit. Because the way this feels is terrible and I hate it. So, I know I can’t change anyone’s view of me, but I’m doing all this to try and be who I wanted to be for people who had to leave because of my behavior. And she accepted that.

I also have to start some EDM... pretty sure it’s 4 letters. It’s something to work through past trauma. She said she’d send videos to watch. My alanon group leader asked if she did that sort of thing last week so I guess that’s just where we are. Wait lol... edm is music lemme actually Google the acronym so I seem less ignorant. EMDR, damn dyslexia. Anyway. That.

But basically, I need to really work to not shred myself when I’m low. It’s gotten bad. I also need to start on my books that came yesterday. 2/3 are here. She wants me to try and list my codependent behaviors. I also need to start painting and journaling again. I like this outlet and it’s easiest for my brain, but the way I was doing it all in my watercolor notebook was really therapeutic. It’s just been a bitch of a week.

I’ll be fine and I feel less like having a breakdown or dying. I think I know another thing that is really fucking with me through everything, but I don’t feel comfortable posting it here right now I think. I also can’t do anything about it.

Last night in alanon a woman said “when one door closes another one opens, but the hallway is hell.” And like, yea. Fuck dude. I took a psych class once where the teacher had a gazillion psych type degrees and would open the class with us getting to ask about mental health shit. And one kid asked if it was possible to change personalities. And he said “sure, but you usually see it following a trauma where it rewrites your thought processes. Because it’s hell to do otherwise, and a lot of people can’t handle it.” And I get it now. I thought he meant habits and comfort zones. But it feels like being handed a pile of shards that used to be your brain and given a timelimit to reassemble it. But half the pieces are trauma copies and you have to figure out which parts are imposters, but they actually fit better than the pieces that should be there. And if you fail you lose everything.

Anyway, that’s where I am today. I queued a couple posts last night so you might see random downers, but what I’m thinking of doing is only reblogging positive stuff, and queueing negative stuff that resonated for like, 7am. And I say that because sometimes I rescroll my blog to recount the day or previous day to either feel good with the good posts again or reevaluate the things I’ve said the day before. Since with my mood they don’t always apply still or I may have a totally different approach at that thought. And I do that when I go to bed around 2. So at 7 I won’t be seeing negative shit right before bed. Cuz I’ve fallen asleep and woken up bitter the last few days.

We’ll see. I have lots to do today. I’ve been off twitter so no children have reminded me to do my taxes. I also have to get a new phone today so I’m fully out from under my mother. And I have insurance stuff and inspection cleaning to tackle. It’s only 1 and I’m ready to call it a day.

I hope what my therapist said helps anyone else who is struggling. I like hearing the lines that have stuck with patients and really helped them. So when it doesn’t fuck with me I’d like to be open about what I discuss in therapy. I always used to think it’d solve so many of my problems if I could send my friends zoom links of my sessions since I’m so bad at expressing myself lol. So this is also a bit of an exercise for me to be more outspoken about my feelings (if this bothers anyone you can send an anonymous ask) And therapy isn’t accessible to everyone so maybe it gives someone what they need to go forward a bit in their struggles. (Alanon and CoDa are free and on zoom now though! Definitely look into it if it applies to you!)

There’s a line in a bts song. Idk which one honestly, Ik it’s in the BE photo book though I can post a pic. It comes to mind because my friend would write it a lot when they first heard it. And it’s something like “sometimes we get to know that broken is beautiful”. My therapist today said “you are broken, everyone is. And no one is as broken as they think they are.” I hope one day this feels like a beautiful moment in my life and not the purgatory it feels like. I hope I grow enough for it to be worth it.

[citrus-feline]

going on facebook is always awful cuz ill want to share something with my dad but then see his most recent post is talking about “commie liberal shitheads” like. dad. is that what he thinks about me? he is definitely at least semi-aware of my political views. he’s accused me of being a communist in highschool back when i thought there was a point in talking to him about issues (but hes not going to change his mind). i dont get it either because he will get livid when i say that capitalism in its current state in america is ruining us despite being one of the people affected most by it. i grew up like hating late-capitalist ideals because i saw what my dad went thru and the hardship he endured trying to raise 3 kids all by himself when he was already having money issues. he grew up poor in a house with 5+ kids in it. is it just conditioning where he trusts a system that is so against him? he only just recently finally got a job that pays fairly for the amount of hardwork he does and his reaction to that isn’t being thankful to his hardwork or even his company, but making posts on facebook about how much he loves the president :/. dad... you’re opposed to raising min wage..... like....... he deserves the money for the work he does cuz hes like a genius with the machines he works but dude. go back 50 years and a job in a similar environment would be min wage. im happy he is getting more money but i wish he would like thank himself or his company instead of someone who perpetuates late-stage capitalism despite all of its harm.

generally i actually think my dad is okay but then i look at what he’s saying about people like me and it upsets me. i once made a post about how older people are so unsupportive to newer generations and he got so mad!! but im expected to see his posts that i can easily apply to myself and just be okay with it. im not gonna fight with my dad cuz like even the possibility of being told to move out will be really hard of my mental health and he takes care of me but........ i wish he was more respectful....... say what you will but the meanest i am to conservatives is when im venting about upsetting things i saw in the news on this website. when it comes to actually talking to people with different views i am really kind and understanding, and even on here i’ve experienced that. i’ve made angry posts before with keywords that attracted conservatives and have gotten angry asks about it before and my response is almost always “im sorry i upset you with that post, i was venting. but i am happy to have a conversation with you about this stuff.”..... i have only like once ever had someone take me up on discussing things in a mature way and separate from a personal post but i like to think that the way i handle it is respectful despite my own disbelief in those types of politics.

him going off on facebook is so bizarre to me because i’ve seen him fight with people in comments before. i’ve heard my sister (who is much stronger than me emotionally) address his posts before only to get into arguments where she will avoid visiting us for months aside from popping in after work or something. and she barely does that anymore. i dont get how he is so happy to keep making such rude posts on a platform that everyone he knows will see. i post on here knowing that maybe one or two people i know in real life will see it, if even that. and THAT makes me nervous! i’ve deleted plenty of posts i was typing up mid-rant because i realized i didnt want people who know me personally to see that! like i know looking at my blog it seems like “oh she doesnt have a filter” but i do!! like once a day i will start writing a vent post only to delete it all without ever posting because i realize it could cause some kind of misunderstanding or bitterness between me and the people i care about who check my blog.

all “bleh i hate capitalism” aside, i don’t understand the disrespect at all. i just dont. i can theoretically look at very conservative people as a group and be bitter about that, and i do sometimes, but i usually try to be mindful that people have opinions for their own reasons and i have to remember that everyone’s experience is different. despite people saying things i disagree with, i still respect them as people and i’m willing to talk about things gently. i much prefer a mature conversation about more heavy stuff as opposed to being yelled at. a mature conversation can lead to things being learned, on both sides. being so vocal about your disdain for people who you could potentially have an actual conversation with upsets me. i go off about politicians and stuff on here but for real if one of them talked to me, one-on-one, i would absolutely still be respectful despite everything i dislike about their policies and behavior as someone of power. the only time i wouldn’t treat someone with respect is if they not only treat me disrespectfully but reject my attempt at keeping things civil. and even then i would give multiple opportunities in an attempt to keep things calm and respectful. when i discuss stuff with people who i disagree with, i listen to them. lots of the time i feel the same about the issue at the end, but hearing a point of view is important. brushing all people who disagree with you away is just in bad taste in my opinion. because there are people who will not believe in what you do but also show respect despite that. there are people who will listen, even if they are secretly a little upset about what you’re saying. conversation is important in any kind of society and for one so polarized in political beliefs like ours i think it should be a requirement to show SOME kind of respect.

it just upsets me how i wont even be heard with some people, like my dad. people who are so stuck in their beliefs that they refuse to even consider looking at them critically. i know the stuff i align myself with isn’t perfect. i know some things people who are head-speakers for in the political groups i openly say i agree with aren’t always exactly what i think. and i know that lots of things won’t be treated as serious as i want them to be. focus can easily be put on things that i think should come later compared to what i care about. i know that “liberals” aren’t perfect. a lot of kids i went to school with were heavily and openly liberal and generally i agreed with them but now and then they would go too far with something, or even just be one of those people who are so up in arms about political stuff that they don’t have any real personal experience with (which is fine, i just wish they wouldn’t act like it was them being attacked instead of the actual people suffering from the real-life issues). i know my beliefs, MY personally beliefs, aren’t perfect. i used to have a lot of trouble realizing something i believed in was not what i thought it was, but now its kinda normal for me. my beliefs for lots of stuff is fluid, but of course because its me, i usually end up aligning with most “liberal” ideals (but, again, theres stuff i disagree with in those groups too). i will ride in my dad’s car where the radio is still on a political station he listens to and some of the stuff they say makes me sick because i disagree with it so much. and i like to think that my dad doesn’t believe all of that. but i dont know because whenever i’ve tried to figure out i’ve just been called a communist who hates freedom, lol. he’s not open to conversation which is really weird to me. cuz like. things change?? opinions aren’t static? people are able to look at things from different angles. its not that hard imo? maybe its just cuz im overly-empathetic but like. i dont... get how its so hard for people to put themselves in others shoes... thats what i primarily do when talking to people about stuff where theres any sort of disagreement. lots of the time ill put myself in their shoes and still come out feeling the same about the topic, but its still important to do that kind of thing to at least get SOME kind of grasp to why they believe what they do.

im not sure why im making so many long political posts lately compared to usual but i feel like this is important stuff to talk about... i dont expect anyone to change their views on shit just reading a post where im getting my frustrations out, but if anything is questionable, i want people to know that i AM open to talking about it personally. if you approach me with respect, i’d be happy to talk to you about stuff. it’s something i practice regularly with non-political stuff in my relationship and with close-friends when something touchy comes up. lots of the times core ideas aren’t changed but we all come out of that stuff with a bit more understanding of the other person and why they think what they do. people aren’t perfect and you will disagree about things. that’s why it should be handled respectfully. if i reacted the way my dad does to people trying to make conversation about more serious things, im pretty sure i wouldn’t have nearly as many friends, lol.

[kusunokihime-a]

¬ romance headcanons. Repost; do not reblog!

name:  Suigin Ryū nickname:  They don’t get used much but stuff like amagumo, egonoki, marshmallow, sugar, etc gender:  Cis female romantic orientation:  Panromantic sexual orientation:  Demisexual

preferred pet names:  She hasn’t really...had any? At least not that we can specifically recall. So she’s not really sure what she’d like over another, but she likes the concept, at the very least. Just little titles of endearment that are sort of a...reminder that the person cares.

relationship status:  By default, IN her default verse, she’s single, just to leave things open for new muse interactions. But she’s got a few ships floating around atm :3c Some are only semi-active or currently inactive, but a few are still being written somewhat recently/regularly! They’re all in their own verses unless otherwise plotted, but other muses are free to comment on them if they’d like!

favorite canon ship:  I mean...as an OC she doesn’t have a canon ship? Before Tumblr she was predominantly written with a friend’s Itachi, but that is in NO way any kind of requirement for any other muses - she approaches any new muse as a stranger, and things develop from there unless otherwise discussed ooc. So uh...I guess there isn’t an answer for this one xD

favorite non-canon ship:  ...I can’t pick a favoriiite xD I love all her ships, past and present, for their own reasons. One that’s currently near-and-dear to us is ObiRyū with @abyssaldespair. A few others that I’ve really enjoyed are ItaRyū with @despairinghxpe and MadaRyū with @masterofwar. But ANY ship - romantic or otherwise - is super important to us cuz tbh it still humbles us that anyone gives this dinky OC the time of day, let alone to forge bonds like that ;w; Tbh I’d just list them all but that’s kinda not...the point, lol

how ‘romantic’ are they?  HONESTLY more than she should be. Like...I talk about how reserved she can be about love and sex because her lack of affection growing up in default, but...she also has this nasty habit of latching onto people rather quickly. I guess it’s because she’s attention-starved, because once she gets to that point she ends up a bit clueless about where to go from there, and it’s...slow. But honestly if you can get to her, she’s ridiculously romantic. I think it’s partly because she loves to mother things so much, so she’s very...soft and gentle with people she cares about. I mean have you SEEN how mushy she is with Obito 95% of the time? She’s a medic: she cares for people. It carries over into ALL of her bonds. She likes to make people happy.

ideal physical traits:  ...she doesn’t really have things she...prefers? I mean you could point out the obvious trait of getting along with Uchiha fairly well, but that’s more in terms of personality than anything physical. Honestly she doesn’t really take that into account...? Only thing she can think of is liking dudes with long hair, but that’s not even a necessity, just something she enjoys xD

ideal personality traits:  I really...don’t know about this either, cuz she’s got ships all over the board? You’ve got super serious ones like Madara and Itachi, and then more relaxed, almost goofy ships like with Obito and Arashi. She can’t really put her finger on what attracts her to someone, it just...happens. I can’t even say people that aren’t assholes cuz lbr Madara’s a BIT of an asshole so...I dunno man, lol - she just...likes who she likes

unattractive physical traits:  Hasn’t really found any yet...?

unattractive personality traits: People that are cruel without reason. People who are bigoted. Stuff like that. She’s willing to forgive a lot if you have a justification...because every story has two sides. She’s forgiven a Madara, an Itachi, and an Obito for things they’ve done because she knows it was in search of something larger. Yes it was still wrong, and she wants them to do better, but she knows a past shouldn’t be completely damning when you’ve still got the future ahead of you to change.

ideal date: Honestly literally anything where you’re spending time with her. She doesn’t even have to be the focus. Just sitting in silence and reading in the same room makes her happy. While she’s not against the extravagant, it’s in no way a requirement. In fact, she prefers the simple, and the heartfelt.

do they have a type?  You mean besides Uchiha? Straight up I will admit she’s got a thing for tragic people. She’s a healer, a peacemaker, a protector. She sees someone with wounds on their heart, and she just wants to make them better, even if it costs her something only to get nothing in return. She thinks the sole purpose of her existence is to give, even in love. Give her a tragic boy, girl, etc and she’ll strive to make them smile, even if it brings about her own tears.

average relationship length: ...I mean...this is a bit hard to gauge because...none of them occur in the same verse...? And none really have clear...timelines. While I could go off real time, that would make some short on time but long on content seem a bit skewed. But none have ever really ended in character...? Some have either due to blogs deactivating/going on hiatus, or...because of fallout between myself and the other mun. Otherwise, she really only commits for the long haul. I’ve shipped her with Lolo’s Itachi literally since I started RP over six years ago. She doesn’t call it quits xD

preferred non-sexual intimacy: SNUGGLING. Just...being able to touch them in a soft, platonic way (not that beyond platonic is bad, by any stretch). But to her, there’s nothing better than just...tangling limbs with heads on chests and listening to heartbeats. It’s...a kind of affirmation that this is real. That they’re alive, with her, with her.

commitment level: HUGE. Like...yeah, she’ll test waters beforehand, in fact usually for a good while, because she doesn’t want to get into something without knowing it’s something that will last and be worthwhile. But if she comes to love you? She’s not letting go, unless she knows it’s for your betterment. She loves vehemently.

opinion of public affection: She’s down for it in certain amounts and levels. While she might not appreciate you full-on groping her in public, she’s down for hand-holding, hugs, kisses (pg, tho x3), etc. She’s not bashful about people knowing who she’s with, but she’s also conscious of the comfort levels of others...and herself (she might be a bit of a vixen behind closed doors, but in public she’s a shy, shy bean).

past relationships? ...is this where we list all the ships? *rolls up sleeves* OKAY. Lemme think, lol

ObiRyū with abyssaldesair; MadaRyū with masterofwar; ItaRyū with despairinghxpe; SebaRyū with rxvensdenn; RyūRin with noharin; NagiRyū, ShieRyū, and KazanRyū with ascxndinggg; GenmaRyū with flakclad; SasuRyū (sorta lol) with kyuuzuchiha; AraRyū with flamexroar; kinda ObiRyū with witheredblossom (they’re in their awkward stage lmao);, and KimiRyū with quiet-kunoichi! Tho I might be forgetting some. And these are just like...the most...developed? Some might be kinda like...WIPs, lmao

Tagged by: I stoled it from @staginstasis cuz I’s a thief :3c Tagging: Peeps that wanna do the thing :3

[jclifou]

BITTENFOOL. TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT BITTTENFOOL IS. CUZ WOW GR8.

THAT’S NOT HOW THIS GAME WORKS

;;you first bish

my opinion on;

character in general: Am I allowed to skip my speech about really only liking the 2017 LeFou yet? I’m just going to move ahead and pretend like you said yes. What I just cannot emphasize enough is the very human quality of the new LeFou; both he and the Prince really got a much-needed update, were given real personalities, and that shined through brilliantly! how they play them: I mean. Haven’t I done enough gushing? I’m pretty sure the first LeFou that I ever even followed was mywhataguy; I was pretty well dazzled by the quality, even from afar. I’m not kidding when I hail this blog as the source for all thing fanonically LeFou. There’s been a lot of heart and soul poured into this character, and a very genuine love for him on the part of the writer: it’s apparent even at a glance! Wholly worth the follow for that alone. Plus the crack is grade-A.the mun: An absolute honey! Would not be here still if he hadn’t been such a treasure. I can’t say enough good things about Max/Mani. Friendly, open, very easy to talk to, clearly intelligent, just. Mmmph. He really does have that je nais sais quoi.

do i;

follow them: Oui.rp with them: Oui.want to rp with them: O UI.ship their character with mine: Ho boy. Uhm. Yes. A lot. Fuckin’ judge me.

what is my;

overall opinion: Amazing man!, amazing blog!, amazing character! Totally senpai. Still blown away that I even get dignified by a response: I mean, I pretty much expect Max/Mani to be swamped 24-7 and have much higher priorities. I’m getting over my wide-eyed terror of speaking to him but you can still knock me over with a feather every time he responds to me.

AS MY DIVA COMMANDS

;;now i

my opinion on;

character in general: how they play them: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand now we come to see why Ren wanted to discuss Mani/Max first. I, ah. Okay, oh boy, where to start this one? I disagree with the way I play LeFou. I’ve done this one or two other times before, where I’ve started playing a character and realized I can’t really do them competently, and that as a fan of the character I’m writing, I disagree entirely with what I’m doing. That doesn’t mean I dislike it, just that I dislike it for/as that character. What usually then develops is me accepting the new character as what I call a “hybrid”–half-canon, a nod to my roots, and half-original, which stands as recognition of my inability to play the canonic character–and that can be seen on this blog, too. His name is Henri, and he comes to me much more naturally than LeFou does. And for what it’s worthy, I really love Henri!the mun: I dunno. I’m funny and nice and I can write a mean sentence, but I’m also lowkey kind of a mean, sarcastic, catty bitch. I like me!, but I’m not for everyone.

do i;

follow them:rp with them: want to rp with them: oh my god srs who tf would even want to lolship their character with mine:

what is my;

overall opinion: Lousy LeFou, great writer, okay person. 7/10, maybe 8/0 on a good day. ;)

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.