#it's okay I'll manage

[no-one-hears-me]

I love having a social life and doing fun things but the amount of work I do to prepare sucks sooo bad

[soulhunterrr]

I haven't been active for so long and I'm confused

[sersfandomthings]

wanderer

(referenced from that one shot in the 3.3 interlude quest)

[lacecap]

song about something you'll never be forgiven for. beepbox link here, and a singalong under the read more :''-)

starting point "…so don't look back" i took your hand and led you astray into the light i fear i might have made a fatal mistake walk in a straight line walk in a straight line i couldn't ask i only hope that sinners are saved but in all honesty, my honor keeps me somewhat afraid walk in a straight line don't dare look behind ♫♫♫ i had a dream we tried to reach the finishing line but in the silence still the time we killed had come back to life walk in a straight line walk in a straight line the signs had merged into a single "end of the world" where every undead thing was damned to sing "esrever ni gnos a" walk in a straight line …tell me that you're fine ♫♫♫ walk in a straight line (walk in a straight line) don't dare look behind (don't dare look behind) tell me that you're fine (something that had died) you're still breathing right? (are you satisfied?) walk between the lines (how to save a life) don't dare look behind (change the ending line) reach the end this time (tell a little lie) bring me back to life… ♫♫♫ if i'd look back and held the hands that led me astray into the light i'd proudly cry "this is my final mistake" walk with me this time walk with me this time i should have asked i know the answer's somewhat cliché but was it worth the price and worth the pain? you're fading away— walk with me this time bring me back to life… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if you'd look--

[birb-catto]

To summarize Alberu's Korean arc experience thru an Isekai title:

“In another world to save my crazy dongsaeng who got kidnapped by a god and wow this bastard is a transmigrator along with his swordmaster who's secretly a grandpa which I never really expected and oh I also became a tiger monster because of some god and I am now a part-time shampoo commercial model!”

(With how much the Korean arc emphasized the Dark Tiger's lustrous and majestic mane every time he shakes it, you'd think Alberu became a shampoo commercial model in another world 🤣)

[albatris]

my mental health n paranoia are finally consistently managed enough that I'm considering top surgery!!!!!!

[osamusriceballs]

Kinktober Day 25 <3

Iwaizumi x striptease

Warnings: NSFW, fem reader

Words: ~ 1,4 k

Kinktober Masterlist II -> Next day

"You're so fucking hot."

A low groan escapes his lips as his hips arch into yours while you straddle his lap. You continue to kiss his neck, your hands gently resting on his shoulders to maintain your balance on his muscular thighs. Athletic trainer? You almost snort. He looks more like an athlete himself. Iwaizumi's hands are restless, alternating between gripping your hips to sensually thrust into you and exploring the curves and contours of your body.

"You too," you sheepishly look up and smile at him, your cheeks warming as you admire his attractive face up close. The intense eye contact continues for a few moments, with both of you remaining silent, only the sound of your soft breaths filling the room.

That is until you can't resist any longer and begin to squirm on his lap. "Come here." He tilts his head and easily connects his lips with yours, much to your relief. You feel yourself melting into the kiss, savoring the soft caress of his lips against yours and the gentle increase of pressure. You moan as his tongue grazes your lower lip, silently requesting more access, to which you eagerly oblige by parting your lips.

Your passionate make-out session is suddenly interrupted by the loud music coming from the closed front door, undoubtedly from the new neighbors next door. You pull back slightly at the noise, just enough to notice a slight frown on his face, and he sighs deeply while squeezing your hips. Since the new neighbors moved in next door, they've made a habit of playing loud music every Saturday night, making you feel like you're in a crowded club. Their music is usually energetic and intense, probably used for home workouts, but tonight's music is different. It's a slow, sensual melody that makes you want to sway your hips as you cling to Iwaizumi.

You both exchange glances while the music plays, and his initial frown quickly dissipates along with your disappointment of the music ruining your sweet moment. "Dance for me?" He suddenly breaks the silence with a gleam of excitement in his eyes, his happiness evident as he gazes expectantly at you. "Really?" you hesitantly ask, feeling somewhat perplexed by the unexpected request.

"Hmm. The music is perfect for this." He grins, his expression so tender and affectionate that you give him one last peck on the lips, pressing your lips against his long enough to elicit a groan from him before you finally get up.

Your movements are initially stiff as you're not quite sure how to proceed, but as you notice his leg bouncing in anticipation, you decide to go with the flow. You're convinced that you can't go wrong; Iwaizumi has adored, praised, and cherished your body so many times that you can't imagine him ever being disappointed in anything you do.

You slowly dance to the music, gently swaying your body while maintaining eye contact with him. You do a little twirl, just enough to let your skirt flutter a bit, earning an approving hum from him. "Always so fucking pretty for me," he runs his hands over his pants and takes a deep breath, his eyes tracking every movement of your body.

"What should I take off first, Hajime?" you ask, batting your eyelashes as seductively as possible. His leg stops bouncing at your question, and he quickly licks his lips before leaning forward ever so slightly. "You're letting me choose?" You feel a shiver run down your spine at his expectant gaze, your body growing warmer as you stand before him, swaying to the music.

"Your shirt. I think it would look better on the floor." He grins, watching as you shift your weight from one foot to the other, slowly reaching for the hem of your shirt. "You don't like it, then?" You ask with a teasing smile, and he immediately shakes his head. "No, I love it! It's my favorite color on you." You raise your eyebrows at his statement, mentally noting to wear this color more often.

"Oh? Should I keep it on, then?" You let your hands fall to your sides, ensuring that you continue to sway to the music and let your hands wander down your sides.

"Baby," he groans in frustration, his hands caressing the fabric of his pants once more, and you decide to give in. You bring your hands back to the hem of your shirt and slowly lift it. You expose inch by inch, his gaze fixed on the movement of your hands as it trails down your chest, leaving your upper body clad only in an almost see-through lacy bra. Once you've finally pulled the shirt over your head, you hear his breath hitch. You know how much he adores the bra and the matching panties, that's why you chose to wear them today to surprise him - the perfect choice as it seems.

"What next?" You ask, your voice slightly higher pitched than usual, conveying how hot and bothered he's making you feel with the way he watches you with his bright green eyes, much like a predator eyeing its prey, ready to devour. "The skirt." His response is so quick that you know he thought about it while you were undressing, but that was exactly the effect you aimed for: to stimulate his imagination and to make his mind go crazy. You sway your hips just a bit slower, maintaining eye contact to intensify the tension while you unzip your skirt from the side, making sure to caress all of your exposed skin. The fabric falls down to your feet as you pull it over your hips, leaving you in a matching set of lace, almost bare in front of him. You don't feel the cold at all, not when Iwaizumi's gaze is so fiery and intense. The bulge in his pants is clearly visible, and you're relieved that the dark material of your panties hides the damp spot, which is nearly invisible from the outside.

"The bra next?" you tilt your head while you speak, your fingers fumbling with the cups of your bra as you wait for his response.

"Not yet. I want to savor you a bit. Do a twirl for me, love." You hold your breath for a moment and quickly nod, presenting your body from various angles as he watches attentively, his cock almost throbbing at the sight of you dancing so seductively only for him. Only for his eyes.

You keep your eyes on him when you bring your hands the the clasp of your bra, and this time he does not interfere. You fumble just for a second with it before you manage to unhook it, your body shivering in excitement. You let the fabric run down your shoulders, the movement feeling like a caress, and you find yourself wishing that he would finally touch you. That he would run his hands down your shoulders and kiss you and show you how much he loves you.

The bra joins the other clothes on the ground, and you let your hands roam along your body, touching yourself softly while you dance to the music. "You can't even imagine how sexy you look right now, love. So fucking sexy." He runs his hand through his dark hair, swallowing hard and raking his gaze over your body. He sounds so turned on, lust evident on his face, the tension in the room almost unbearable at this point.

You bite your lip and bring your hands to the hem of your panties to finish the show, but Iwaizumi moves quickly and catches your wrists before you can pull them down. You stare at him surprised, your eyes widened while you wordlessly let him pull you towards the bed until your back meets the soft mattress and he hovers over you. His hands go to your ankles and spread your legs, your core throbbing at this action, aching to be touched when he makes you feel even more exposed in your current position. Your jaw drops when he leans down and presses a kiss on your stomach, his teeth grazing at the lace of your panties, and you squirm under him when his hot breath meets your skin. A grin adorns his lips when he pulls the material back, just enough until it loudly snaps against your body.

"Just lay back and let me do the rest, love. I'll take care of this myself."

[cookinguptales]

I will preface this by saying that I am doing better now and am no longer in any immediate danger, but a few days ago I was in genuinely a sort of dangerous place where I was barely eating any food and what I was eating wasn't always staying down. Nausea meds and cannabis have helped a lot with that, but in the early days, the doc was threatening me with the emergency room if I couldn't keep more fluids in me.

I think I really must have seemed extremely sick because my parents, who love me dearly, were kind of at the point where any time anything sounded remotely good to me, they were like YES, WE HAVE THAT and they would get it for me.

So I would ask for couscous at 3 am (because we all go to bed stupid late here) and be sitting in bed like a tiny imperious princess and my beloved father would be like

and anyway I might've gone mad with power, a bit.

Like he straight-up made me cornbread earlier. :')

[deoidesign]

.

[esaari]

happy pride 💖

[potionwine]

Thinking about Margrace as Joshua's name post-Phoenix Gate.

Mar-grace.

In FFXVI the Undying choose their own names (Cyril explains this in-game), and many of them have names drawn from Final Fantasy XII, including their leader 'Margrace' himself, from Al-Cid Margrace. The page for Al-Cid notes that Margrace is likely an alternate form of the title 'margrave', an old title for military commanders on the border.

That aside. This is the name chosen (by the boy himself?) for the boy who should have rightfully been known henceforth as 'Your Grace', 'His Grace'.

Grace (style of address), from the Oxford English Dictionary:

With a possessive adjective: a title of respect, esp. for a person of royal or noble rank. Frequently (in 'your Grace') as a form of address. Now archaic or historical. Formerly (in England until the reign of Henry VIII and in Scotland until 1707) used for a monarch or prince; now replaced by Majesty or Highness. Even so, "Majesty" for the sovereign of England was not used exclusively; it arbitrarily alternated with both "Highness" and "Grace", even in official documents, until "Majesty" finally became the official style to the exclusion of others (source).

Grace (other meanings):

1. Divine favour, benevolence, or providence bringing about worldly benefit or advantage. 2. A person's lot, destiny, or fate; luck, fortune. 3. The quality of being pleasing; attractiveness, charm; esp. (in later use) refined elegance of manner, expression, form, or movement, esp. regarded as natural or effortless; gracefulness.

Whatever the etymology of margrave, the name Margrace in-game is probably meant to call to mind the meaning of 'mar' as in damaged, spoiled, ruined. All the grace that ever belonged to his family, his home, his birthright—marred, of course.

Mar+Grace, the last heir of the oldest unbroken ruling dynasty in the Twins at the time of the opening events of the game**.

The living ghost, carrying the desecrated corpse of his legacy in his new name. Introducing himself by his humiliation: "Hello, I am Margrace", "Hello, I am the ruined dignity of my house." "Call me Margrace", "Call me the wreckage of one fallen from divine favour." "My name is Margrace", "My name is blemished fortunes and diminished nobility".

It's appropriately brutal and dramatic for such a character, especially since the game is frustratingly silent on how Joshua personally feels about the loss of his duchy which is a rant for next time.

**Footnotes:

In the Year 860 (Prologue year/Phoenix Gate), Rosaria is about 260 years old (est. Y600). Older, if you count from the time of the Rose Alliance (est. Y550). The Rosfields have been on the Rosarian throne since the inception of the duchy in Y600, and prior to that House Rosfield was already known to be the chief of/the preeminent house of the Seven High Houses that united to found the duchy. House Rosfield has held ruling power for 260-310 years at a minimum.

For reference, England's longest-reigning dynasty was the Plantagenets, who held on for 300+ years. Rosfields aren't doing half bad!

Veldemarke would have been older had it not been overthrown by Barnabas; therefore Waloed is the youngest nation state at the time of the prologue (only 17 years old). Also we do not know much about the governance of Veldemarke, although as a 'kingdom' it was likely some type of monarchy.

Sanbreque was formed 100 years after Rosaria, and at any rate is not actually a hereditary monarchy. The Holy Emperor is voted into office by his fellow Cardinals, likely the five who form the Council of Elders. We are also explicitly told that Sylvestre 'won his throne' in 865; there is no indication either way that his predecessor emperor was a Lesage. The wording suggests the throne is not Sylvestre's by lineage or birthright. How this is supposed to relate to the concept of Sanbreque having a 'crown prince' (Dion) is unclear and contradictory, since an emperor by election should probably not have the authority to unilaterally decide on the succession of the throne, and his issue—legitimate or no—should not automatically be in the line of succession.

Dhalmekia is a republic with elected officials.

The Iron Kingdom apparently has a royal family, but nothing else is known apart from it being impotent and sidelined by their state religion.

The Northern Tribes likely do have hereditary rule, and Jill is referred to as a princess, but once again little is known.

Ergo—and I am ceaseless in this propaganda—Clive and Joshua are really, properly posh! Absolutely baffling that Anabella would allow anyone to put down the pedigree of her sons when they are so blue-blooded precisely because she is! For someone with such entrenched ideas of blood purity she should not stand for it, no matter how she feels about her eldest.

[bruhstation]

@verypsbfan019 gotta love it when two people ruin not only each other’s lives in some sort of twisted codependency but also everyone else’s

(a bit of comment under the cut)

now that I’ve caught up with the last part of the hawin lake saga, I must say that woah! despite its (minor) flaws this could be the best ttte horror fanfilm I’ve ever watched....! I’d like to give a few comments

I’ve watched the first four parts of the saga months ago so seeing this hour-long finale not only tell a story but also tie everything together - from dane and hawin’s relationship to the accidents in series 5 - is quite satisfying. part I-III built up the feeling of something amiss, part IV introduced the main antagonist, and part V revealed every single important thing the audience needs to know.

we get to see dane and hawin’s backstory when dane was still alive, the reveal that hawin isn’t as innocent as he is and that dane isn’t "purely evil”. the author did a good job giving dane and hawin depth and making certain characters in the story die not just for shock value, but also show how much of a force dane is. there’s always this feeling of unease whenever he’s around instead of making you go “oh great, not this guy again”

I also like to note that at the beginning of part V, dane was revealed to be 1020 without an exposition of some sort, but by using the camera angle to show the number on his tender just as he’s leaving his shed. it’s also worth noting that the paintwork on dane is rather more shoddy and jaded compared to that of hawin’s, putting in more weight to their conversation later on about how dane feels jaded and believed that hawin was merely there just to replace him.

also technically dane gets to talk in part IV but I like how the direction the voice acting of dane went. most villains in ttte fan films are either full on demonic sounding with gurgling sounds or edgily maniacal and full of laughter. but dane's voice is soft, tender, yet I can feel the absolute vitriol and sadness he has for hawin. dane, especially when talking to hawin, sounds so heartbroken and betrayed, so angry and vengeful. in a way, his voice humanizes him yet makes him feel more threatening. a person who is calm is harder to read compared to a person who is very open about their emotions. it also fits him very very well. he has always been a soft spoken individual when he was still alive, so it makes sense that he still talks like that even when he’s angry.

though I must say that the end scene where hawin sacrifices himself to calm dane down is a tiny bit anticlimatic and some parts like the jumpscares are questionable in terms of whether they’re really necessary.

it's been a while since I genuinely liked a ttte fanfilm villain. overall, it’s a great series, and part V, railspin splitspace, is a great end to a saga. 8.7/10

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

(book to show, show to book, the meta continues)

Season 1 episode 3 [Is My Very Nature That Of The Devil]

- Louis: *tries to read*

Lestat: *bla bla bla*

Louis: "if you don't shut up and leave me with my books I'm going to start a social commentary and ethics conversation"

Lestat: "... Never mind. Let's go hunt."

Louis in that white suit is daaamn fine.

Oooh, so the conversation about only eating the "evil" ones starts there. Louis munching on that cat kills me every time.

- Oh, hello Antoinette. Love that we go from 19th century violinist Antoine to 20th century music hall singer Antoinette. Very nice change.

[Louis] "'This ain't your kind of music.'

[Lestat] 'You can pretend you're a vegetarian. I can pretend the fool.'" - part of me thinks that Louis meant by that "this is Black music, a Black folk band, and you're still a white boy, even vampire that you are".

Lestat schooling everyone about music, sassing everyone and playing the piano divinily, absolutely delicious. And then Louis' absolutely fond little smile, even when he's arguing with Lestat, he just loves him so.

- Ah! [Daniel] "Yeah, you know, I gotta say, it's not so much the minute details, Louis, rather the total rewrite that's giving me pause here." - that's the part. That's the crux of it. That's the character development of Louis who's done rejecting the depth of his feelings for Lestat and the role he's played in his own tragedy, regardless of Lestat's abuse, and ready to accept it and talk about it.

Love Louis' face relistening to his 1973's words versus 2022. The face of a man going "ah shit, I really was messed up back then".

- [Daniel] "'Fuck the 'Wolverine Blues'. Ken Burns can choke on the footnotes. It's the abused-abuser psychological relationship I'm talking about.'

[Louis] 'I do not consider myself abused.'

[Daniel] 'I mean, usually when you're a little too close to it, the abused still loves the abuser, but you flipped it completely on its head.'

[Louis] 'I'm not a victim.'

[Daniel] '50 years later, you talk like he was your soulmate, like you were locked in some fucked up gothic romance. Why?'"

First: Daniel's a petty bitch and he's getting to the bottom of this business whether Louis works with him or not. And Louis is equally petty and bitchy, answering Daniel by reading part of his own memoir and mocking him.

Secondly: well, yeah, it is a gothic romance, that's the genre. But it is a Contemporary Gothic romance. Contemporary Gothic expands on Classic Gothic. I wrote an essay about Contemporary Gothic using the movie Only Lovers Left Alive last year, I need to translate it from Spanish to English so I can share it. But I feel like I could reuse part of this essay to talk about IWTV book (inscribed in Classic Gothic) versus IWTV show (tending towards Contemporary Gothic). One more essay idea to develop later. Let's table this.

Thirdly: my little Loustat shipper heart is very happy.

And fourth: hey, Danny boy. Remember that conversation in a dozen of sessions because that will come in handy to explain a looooooot of things... Devil's Minion fans gleefully cackling in the background. And Armand isn't even in this scene. Talk about irony. And foreshadowing.

[Louis] "'This is the odyssey of recollection.' The tapes are an admitted performance. This is the premise of our interview. Half a century later, allow me my odyssey. [Daniel throws the tapes in the trash] Now who's performing?"

Louis being heartfelt but still hiding beneath his veneer - you know when he starts to be honest, or as genuine as he can at this point, when he starts to drop the accent. I swear I'm going to stop raving about Jacob's voice work at some point, but it's such an important part of the character, of who Louis is and how the audience can understand Louis, that it deserves an entire essay of its own.

And then Louis sasses Daniel and sets the tapes on fire, because that's not a performance at all, that. Pot meet kettle.

- [Louis] "Rigged to burn, Daniel" - foreshadowing...

- [Louis] "I barely had the energy to hold a book. My libido was not what it'd been. I understood the indulgence. I let it happen." - why are you such a liar, Louis. Stop fucking lying, Louis.

On a serious note, Louis' eating disorder emerging from his identity crisis, the clash of his religious upbringing with his new reality colliding with his lifelong depression... Who made that guy so relatable. But notice how there's a slight part of Louis' new diet here that's in direct reaction to Lestat's refusal to hear him and talk to him. They each punish each other for their perceived failings by acting in the way that'll hurt the other the most, even if that way hurts them too. Louis by letting himself starve and losing his energy when that's all Lestat wants him to do, Lestat by having several affairs and flaunting them, even when he explicitly says "I do everything for Louis". By the way, that little throwaway line? Lestat being genuine and fully honest about his feelings and motivations but playing it as a joke. If Louis had been hearing he'd have caught it and maaaybe we could have avoided some of the drama. Maybe.

- Oh, the whole Antoinette seduction scene is fascinating. Notice how Lestat barely looks at her? He only has eyes for Louis. And Louis cannot stand his gaze, he has to retreat. Says he understands, but then leaves in a huff. Disasters.

[Louis] "'So you didn't kill her.'

[Lestat] 'No. She has talents.'

[Louis] 'Aren't I enough?'" - excuse me while I go scream.

[Lestat] "We're communicating so much better now." - baby, no. That ain't communication. You two are still talking two different languages.

[Lestat] "Of course. Of course. Of course. As long as you come home to me." - that's way too many "of course", 'Stat. Maybe add a couple dozen more to reeeeally make your point that you're not bothered AT ALL by the idea of Louis seeing other people. Hypocrite...

- Welcome to WW1. Business, racism, capitalism, and the fantastic Miss Bricks. Can't wait for Tom Anderson to get eaten, that guy rubs me off the wrong way. Gotta love that Louis' standing up for himself. Aaaaand hello Jonah. Oop, Lestat's already staring and going insane with jealousy. Meanwhile Louis doesn't even remember he's got nieces. Looots of little crucial hits in this scene, between the poker game, WW1 come a-knocking, Loustat's fuckery and Louis' getting further and further away from his human family.

- [Jonah] "'Ain't aged a day since I seen you last.'

[Louis] 'That's the moonlight lyin' is all.'" - hi, Nicholas Sparks called, he says that line belongs in The Notebook and he's claiming copyright for it.

[Jonah] "'And most of why I signed up is I kept hearing something about something they call 'European sensibilities'. They care less what you look like or who you're lookin' at.'

[Louis] 'Yeah, I got someone.'

[Jonah] 'I figured as much. No ring on your finger?'

[Louis] 'Not a woman.'

[Jonah] 'Well, what's he like?'

[Louis] 'He's... a lot. It's not perfect. But we kind of have this agreement.'"

Yeah, believe me, racism and homophobia are very alive in Europe too. Though... The roaring twenties are right around the corner and that's a decade I would have loved to experience in Paris.

Hey, look! Louis has come around about his sexuality, is that the first time he comes out willingly and peacefully? Yey, progress. Also I love that he has explicit permission from Lestat to have his own affairs, but he feels uncomfortable about at it at first. But still goes for it 'cause you know. Gotta show Lestat he ain't bothered. Should have fed first tho, stupid. Also, Lestat overhearing Louis calling him "a lot" and "not perfect" > direct parallel to Claudia hearing Louis calling her a "burden" to Armand in s2. Louis is so good at being casually cruel to and about those he loves.

[Louis] "'Good fit, this uniform.'

[Jonah] 'Well, it's the moonlight.'" - sorry, Nicholas Sparks on line 3 again, he said that moonlight line is actually too sappy for even The Notebook. Said we can keep it, he doesn't want to pay our dentist note.

- Daniel Hart's music is fantastic.

- Ah, Lestat's jealousy crisis. Aw, the domesticity. Ooh, wait, love how the memory changes. You can see Louis struggling to remember which memory is accurate.

- Arf, Louis being rejected from his own family house and then breaking down the door. Mamaw du Lac, Mother of the Decade, everyone. Poor baby. The curse of the vampire. Downward spiral getting worse. And then coming home and seeing Lestat entertain the regiment? And then the news about the Azalea. Nervous breakdown about to happen. Oh, Lestat flexing his powers. Love that. Notice the blood trail coming from his ear? It appears again when he saves Louis during the trial. He's not without his limits. Regarding his powers or his feelings.

[Lestat] "I heard your hearts dancing" - so first of all, awards for Sam, when? Secondly, brb, need to sob a little. And third, Nicholas Sparks on the line again, wants to know if the writer of these lines is available to come work with him.

[Lestat] "'This is not a life!'

[Louis] 'That's' cause you took my life! I got nothing! I lost everything! I lost my brother. I lost my family. 'Bout to lose the last fucking thing I care about.'" - where are the awards for Jacob and Sam for heaven's saaaaaaaake. Also, love how the music briefly stops between 'everything' and 'brother'.

- [Louis] "When your mother sees the Devil in your eyes, it's a hard assessment to abandon. Am I from the Devil? Is my very nature that of the Devil? I had hedged against the question, but now it completely overwhelmed me." - Lestat and Armand had that conversation a century earlier...

[Daniel] "Take a Black man in America, make him a vampire, fuck with that vampire, and see what comes of it." - thanks for the social commentary, Danny, don't even need to do it myself. Now eat those assholes, Lou.

- [Louis] "You said I'm arrogant? Maybe I am arrogant! [...] I'm a vampire." - okay, can I soliloque about Louis please? Have I said he's my favourite of the entire books lately? As someone who has been called pretentious more than once just because I know my own value and refuse to play stupid, that part, yeah, that part gets to me. Louis finally knows who he is and refuses to pretend he's less just to please others. And as a lesson that I've finally embraced this year especially too, I like that. I like that a lot.

Oops. Louis just started a civil war in New Orleans. Fun. Like Lestat says, it's not on Louis tho. He merely "provided them the excuse".

[Louis] "And that's why you and me ain't never gon' work. That's why you're always gonna be alone." - oooh man, that was harsh. And only half deserved. And cruel in that typical Louis way. Also, wrong. But you're gonna have to wait another century for that. Oof, Lestat's face as Louis leaves, the crumbling, the desperation oozing out of his entire soul, heart and mind...

- "I ran from the Quarter that night, ran to where the violence spread most wild. I stumbled through the streets like an irrational child who had tested his strength on the small bird and now asked 'can I make it whole again?' - Can I help you? Please let me help you. - Their faces ran past me like snow in a terrible wind, unaware that it was I who had brought this retribution. It was I who should pay for this sin. And then... [Help me!] one of those inconceivable moments where who you were before and who you would be forever after is marked in time. [Help!] A rooming house, now a fire trap. I could not save the Azalea. I could not save Storyville. I could not save the aunt on the wrong side of the wall, but I could save her. My light. My Claudia. My redemption."

... Brb, need to scream in a pillow. Oooof. What a tirade. Louis, Saint Louis, Saint Louis, bearing the weight of the cross on his shoulders... Selflessness being selfishness, trying to help to try to alleviate his own pain and guilt. Doing good things out of a need to feel useful or at peace with your own conscience is not a bad thing, you're still helping whatever your motives, but when it starts making you unable to see the people you're trying to help as people, and starts making you see them as tools to relieve your tortured soul and conscience, are your good actions still good? Or the pavement on the road to a very dark place? Guess we'll let Claudia tell us her opinion.

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[every-sanji]

[running-in-the-dark]

I have officially started painting the walls in the living room.

well, I've mixed/adjusted the paint and painted some swatches and put up masking tape and all that stuff. I'll be painting tomorrow. I'm so excited (to get started, but mostly that I'll finally be all done with evvvverything*)

*until I think of the next thing I want to do, and the next one after that, and -

[cranberrymoons]

.