#i will say the primary thing that inspired it was killua & gon

[lacecap]

song about something you'll never be forgiven for. beepbox link here, and a singalong under the read more :''-)

starting point "…so don't look back" i took your hand and led you astray into the light i fear i might have made a fatal mistake walk in a straight line walk in a straight line i couldn't ask i only hope that sinners are saved but in all honesty, my honor keeps me somewhat afraid walk in a straight line don't dare look behind ♫♫♫ i had a dream we tried to reach the finishing line but in the silence still the time we killed had come back to life walk in a straight line walk in a straight line the signs had merged into a single "end of the world" where every undead thing was damned to sing "esrever ni gnos a" walk in a straight line …tell me that you're fine ♫♫♫ walk in a straight line (walk in a straight line) don't dare look behind (don't dare look behind) tell me that you're fine (something that had died) you're still breathing right? (are you satisfied?) walk between the lines (how to save a life) don't dare look behind (change the ending line) reach the end this time (tell a little lie) bring me back to life… ♫♫♫ if i'd look back and held the hands that led me astray into the light i'd proudly cry "this is my final mistake" walk with me this time walk with me this time i should have asked i know the answer's somewhat cliché but was it worth the price and worth the pain? you're fading away— walk with me this time bring me back to life… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if i'd look back… if you'd look--

[mimzilla]

Hi there! Three questions: What things do you think Gon and Killua need to work on respectively before they reunite? Do you think they are keeping in touch? And how do you hope/imagine their reunion and post reunion bond to play out?

I’m going to append this other ask onto these three questions, because it links up with the third one pretty neatly!

tl;dr: This is so long I’m dying Squirtle

Actual tl;dr: Gon’s had a failed coming-of-age story arc, and is at the beginning of a new one about who he wants to be. Killua’s arc focuses on his dependence on other people’s approval, so he needs to develop an identity separate from what others need from him. I think they aren’t actively not talking to each other, and I hope Alluka knocks some sense into these ridiculous boys.

Mild warning for minor post-ending-of-the-anime manga spoilers.

Busting out the big guns right at the start, huh? I’m doing my stretches. Let’s dance.

Gon is really interesting to think about, because his ‘hero’s journey’ is… done. He had a goal, struggled to overcome insurmountable odds to meet it, did overcome them through determination and sacrifice, and returned home in the end. So now what? He’s lost his Nen, which Hunters are said to need in order to truly be Hunters, but having taken the exam he’s also a Hunter for life. He’s landed in a grey area, not quite a Hunter and not quite a civilian. And I certainly hope he doesn’t just do the same stuff over again, because that would be kind of boring.

What I want for Gon is for the narrative to explore his story as a coming-of-age arc, because while his hero’s journey has reached the end of its circle his coming-of-age story has only just hit its climactic point. These stories follow a different arc, where the protagonist starts out suffering an emotional loss that compels them to journey in search of answers; they struggle through obstacles that contribute to their maturation; and in the end, their greatest obstacle is to overcome their own perspective on the question they’re asking.

Gon starts out with a very obvious emotional loss: he learns that Ging chose to leave him behind on Whale Island. The answer he’s seeking is to the question “What is it Ging is searching for that is more important than me?” He matures both in terms of his strength (learning Nen and developing his own fighting style) and in terms of encountering/being confronted by worldviews different from his own (e.g. meeting all his friends for the former, the Troupe truly loving one another and Pitou being more than a mindless killer for the latter). He doesn’t overcome the climactic last challenge, in fact he fails rather spectacularly. He can’t let go of his own perspective on the world, and as a result he hurts both himself and his most intimate friend.

As far as I’m concerned, that’s a good thing. It’s brilliant. The series builds a stunning structure of Jenga blocks atop Gon’s black-and-white perspective that wobbles (the Troupe love each other) and has new pieces added to it through the story (the Greed Island players killing each other is an expected part of the game), but doesn’t topple until he’s faced with a truth almost impossible to carry that kicks his foundation out from under him.

It’s really hard to actually accept and believe that the people who hurt you aren’t purely malicious. I don’t want to get into real world examples all that much, but suffice to say that ‘good’ people are capable of doing evil things and people with intensely bigoted views are also fully able to feel genuine love for others. It doesn’t mean they’re secretly actually not bigoted, or their views should be discarded as superfluous to who they are. It just means they’re people. Cruel people are still fully people.

Continuing on with the anime talk…

So Gon’s tower of metaphorical Jenga blocks has fallen. The prospective climax of his coming-of-age story falters and falls into a valley. Soon after, the climax of his hero’s journey… is abruptly handed to him. He doesn’t find Ging, Ging’s just there. Neither of them are ready to meet this way, for good reason; according to a standard story structure, Ging flat-out shouldn’t be there yet. Gon’s not ready to meet him, hasn’t completely faced the challenge of finding him, hasn’t come into his own. It’s jarring, out of place. It’s doesn’t match up to the structure of a hero’s journey.

But as another obstacle in a coming-of-age story, it’s perfect. Gon has seen enough of the world and learned enough to approach the question “What did Ging leave me in favor of?” anew. And here’s Ging, able to answer it directly.

Gon’s emotional collapse at the end of the Chimera Ant arc is beautiful (narratively speaking…) because it functions as a new coming-of-age story’s beginning. He knows what it’s like to be a Hunter, has experienced its joys and agonies for himself. He can answer the question he started out with, and does form the bond with Ging he’s sought from the start. But his story doesn’t end, because he hasn’t come of age yet.

He befriends Ging… but that’s all. The validation and intimacy he chased after isn’t quite there. He doesn’t even feel much drive to stay with Ging for long, and says the only thing that could convince him to chase Ging for any longer would be being able to feel how powerful a Nen user Ging is, which Gon can no longer do. Meeting Ging doesn’t truly conclude either of Gon’s arcs, and Gon is now home again, where the hero’s journey both ends and begins. Because Gon went through his emotional crisis, he has the tools to recognize the new question before him.

We know that Ging has accomplished great things. He’s restored sprawling ruins and uncovered who knows how many historical secrets that might otherwise have been lost forever. Satotz looks up to him as an inspiration and a mysterious figure within the Hunter Association. He’s influential enough to be partially in control of the Hunter Association (until he peaces out, anyway). He also acts like an asshole to basically everybody, is hugely manipulative, and makes the two people with the closest familial ties to him chase his footsteps to prove themselves worthy of his respect.

Gon, with his new perspective, faces a new question.

“Do I want to live my life like Ging has lived his?”

That sure was long-winded, wasn’t it? Phew. It only sort of answers the question, too. Whoops. Moving on…

There’s a character trait among Aristotelian tragic heroes that if one wants to sound smart is called “Hamartia” and if one wants to be understood is called a “fatal flaw”. I’m not going to adhere exactly to the fatal flaw as it works in Aristotelian plays, but suffice to say that a fatal flaw is a trait the hero possesses that leads them to their own downfall. For example, Gon’s black-and-white worldview is a fatal flaw that leads him to his breakdown.

Killua’s fatal flaw is basing his own self-worth on being important to other people.

Killua never really struggles with specifically not being an assassin. He just decides to stop. The ground-in bloodlust and mechanical killing instinct that rear their heads on rare occasion seem quite firmly within his control. It’s something else that’s held over from his childhood and the way his family raised him: being used as a tool.

Writing that first bit took a bit out of me, energy-wise, so I’ll just cliff notes this one, maybe...

Killua is, shall we say, in the habit of thinking of himself as something useful to other people

Even as powerful assassins, the Zoldycks largely just do what whoever hires them tell them to do

Illumi’s needle is a direct example of this

His goals from the start have just been “Escape his family” and “Help Gon achieve his goal of meeting Ging”

His second goal has now been achieved: he helped Gon meet Ging. This is one of the reasons playing into his decision to leave, since staying would get Gon mixed up in his primary goal of escaping/getting rid of the other Zoldycks. Alluka’s... “supplanting”? That’s not the right word for it but whatever, Gon in Killua’s priority list is emblematic of this

His helping Gon is different from his doing what his family tells him because he actively wants to help Gon. Just wanted to make that point

All the same, his affection for Gon is part of what keeps him in this self-destructive mindset

That Alluka can directly empathize with this mindset, having been held captive and literally having magic powers that depend on other people making wishes, means (I hope) that she and Killua together can have some adventures and grow into their own autonomy

Were I to posit a coming-of-age story question for Killua to be searching for an answer to, it would probably be something like “Separate from what other people need from me, what do I want to do with my life?”

 As for the other stuff-

I don’t think they’re keeping in touch, at least not regularly, but I think they definitely do both have an understanding that they can call on each other for help if they need it. Gon references what Kite tells him - that whatever changes have happened, they still are and always will be friends. And friends help each other when it’s needed! Killua does his tsundere thing and makes a fuss to Ikalgo about Ikalgo so much as thanking Killua for his help, because to Killua it’s not something that even needs saying. Of course he’ll help his friends. This no doubt still holds for his friendship with Gon. So maybe not sending each other weekly updates, but I also don’t think they’d deliberately avoid speaking to each other.

I’d say that both Gon and Killua agreed to split up with the understanding that it wouldn’t be the last time they’d see each other. Whether either of them have an outright plan to link up again and travel together indefinitely, it’s hard to say; I kind of doubt it, mostly because there hasn’t been much discussion for either of them on practical long-term plans. Killua has escaping his family, but he’ll need something to do after that as well. Gon’s back on Whale Island doing homework (bless his heart), and now that he’s met Ging who knows where he’ll turn his eyes next.

Personally, I really want Alluka to play an important role in getting Killua to a place where he can be totally secure and happy with Gon again. Partly because she’s already proven herself capable of asserting herself and setting him straight, partly because she needs some good ass character development herself (and her establishing independence would be huge in helping Killua establish HIS), partly because she has that great line about letting Killua go play with Gon again once she’s had her fill.

It’s kind of hard for me to say what exactly I want their reunion to be like because it relies so heavily on what they do in the meantime, and there’s not much to work with there yet. I love drama, so some dramatic circumstances and tension would be nice. A big ol’ emotionally cathartic payoff when they see each other again.

I guess I can’t really offer anything concrete in the way of their post-reunion bond, firstly because it’s hard to imagine them interacting in a way that’s really different from their canon relationship, and secondly because if I start going down that road it’ll be fanfiction city, baby. And I live there, but if we’re talking about stuff I actually consider canon… who knows! I’m looking forward to it.