#it's ok we're doing it lmao full send

[kuiinncedes]

lfkdjdjgkdf

[writersdrug]

Heyyy I hope your doing ok! Wanted to send this tiktok cuz it reminded me and made me think of bartender!Simon and hope it makes you giggle as much as it made me!! 🤭

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8Rx8F9q/

This is perfect lmao, but I imagine reader replacing things during his shift while he isn't looking.

He's busy pouring a tap, listening to Mike talk about his new promotion - you sneakily swap his corkscrew off of the Prosecco bottle for a pink one, stuffing the old one into your server apron as you pour waters for your table. You're gone just as Simon walks over to the POS.

He pulls the next ticket from the printer - three Tequila Sunrises. He looks behind him at the table in the far corner; three middle-aged women. Makes sense. He grabs the glasses and a jigger, pouring in tequila, then grenadine - he drops the jigger into the wash sink and reaches for the champagne, popping off the corkscrew-

He thinks he's gone insane for a moment, as he stands there and stares at the corkscrew in his hand. It's pink. It's... pink. Has he gone insane? Did Price order new corkscrews - and why the hell would he get pink ones?

He slowly sets it down on the countertop, then finishes pouring the champagne into the glasses. He tops them off with orange juice and sets them on the end of the bar with the ticket, right when you appear.

"I'll grab those in a sec." You say, snagging a glass and filling it with ice. You look at Simon with a furrowed brow. "Everything alright?"

He's looking around the area behind the bar, hands on his hips. "Lost somethin'."

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling. "What was it?"

"Don't worry 'bout it." He says, turning back around. He pulls the next ticket, just as you go rummaging inside the bar fridge. "What're you doin'?"

"Someone wants a ginger beer." You say, grabbing a can and pouring it into the glass. Simon grunts, heading to the opposite end of the bar for the bitters. You take the moment to swap his bottle opener for a pink one, stuffing his into your pocket. It clicks against the corkscrew, and you manage to grab the sunrises and disappear from the bar before Simon comes back.

He's putting together an Old Fashioned when some bloke walks up to the bar. "Can I get a Corona?"

"You openin'?" Simon gruffs out.

"Yeah, we're waiting for a table." The man holds his card out. Simon takes it and starts a tab - he grabs a Corona from the bar fridge and shuts the door, grabbing the bottle opener and popping the lid off.

"Lime?"

The man huffs. "No thanks. Nice shit, though."

He furrows his brow as he hands the man his drink. He watches him walk away with a confused grunt, then goes to put the opener away-

It's... pink.

He holds it in his hand. He's definitely going insane. He looks down at the corkscrew, half expecting it to be back to normal, but it's still the same Barbie pink. He slaps the bottle opener back against the fridge with a frustrated growl, folding his arms over his chest and taking a thorough look around the bar.

There's a pink pen, complete with a pompom on the end, right at the POS. Both jiggers have been replaced with two others, except they're a rose gold and finished with a glittery sheen. The bar spoon, the shakers - even the fucking strainer, for Christ's sake - they're all fucking pink.

He looks around the pub, eyes narrowed as they scan the crowd, until they land on you; leaning against the server station, facing away from him. Clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

It's you. It's obviously you. He's a bit frustrated with himself for not getting it straight away. Your server apron is full and heavy with the evidence. He watches as you run off to one of your tables, your apron clanking as you walk. He scoffs, turning and grabbing his next ticket. He'll just have to catch you in the act.

Surprisingly, you don't make it hard for him the next time.

You come back when there are no drink waiting for you, no tables that need water... you just stand at the edge of the bar, flipping through your server book like there's something interesting along the lines of smash burger med no onion and tom soup lg. You tap your pen against the bar, eyes occasionally flickering to Simon.

He passes a pint to a patron at the bar. "Need somethin'? You don't have any orders in."

You shrug. "No... just bored." you say, scribbling something in your book. Your apron is so stuffed full of his bar tools he could laugh - you can't even hide yourself behind the bar without your pockets knocking into the wood - but he bides his time. He wants to catch you in the act.

He turns to the POS, pretending to close out a tab, keeping a close eye on you. You continue staring at your server book for a few seconds, making sure he's actually focused on something else. You quickly reach into your back pocket and pull out a handful of pink, glittery pour caps - you shimmy behind him and try to snag the ones off of the liquor bottles, hastily replacing them for the pink ones with a smile on your face; but you know you've fucked up when the stolen goods in your apron clank loudly as you knock into the bar counter.

"Absolutely not." he snaps, turning around. You shriek and abandon the pink caps, trying to scurry back out from the bar, but Simon catches you by your apron strings. He pulls you back, and your server book goes flying from your hands.

"Let's see what we got, hmm?" he spins you around, keeping two fingers hooked into your apron.

You laugh hysterically. "Simon, wait-!"

He starts grabbing things from your pockets and depositing them onto the top of the mixer fridge. "Christ, ya fuckin' thief-" his bar spoon, strainers, shakers, even his fucking peeler. Several pink replacements also get pulled out, your crimes laid bare on the surface next to you.

"'N wot the fuck is this?" he asks accusingly, holding up another bottle opener - not pink, but it has a Bob Ross paining as the background, and "Po da licka" written in cursive on the front. "Wot's that even mean?"

You're laughing, pushing against his arms and chest as he pulls your pockets inside out for good measure. He's secretly relishing in it, peals ringing in his ears as he dives into the water of your happiness - it feels good to make you smile like that, even if he hides his delight behind his mask and hard eyes.

You manage to wrench yourself free, and he barely misses a swipe at the apron strings on your back before you scurry off, disappearing somewhere back into the restaurant. He stares after you, a smirk on his lips and... surprisingly, his cock chubbing up beneath his pants. He's thinking about chasing your around he bar again, and this would have been the He huffs, folding his arms over his chest and staring at the items on the counter. He wonders where you even got all this shit, but he has to admit - you got him good. He can't even be mad.

The patron across the bar chuckles, leaning over to look at the evidence with Simon. "Am I invited to the wedding?"

Simon glares at the man; he has half a mind to grab the soda gun and spray him with tonic water, but he simply gathers the items off of the counter and drops them into the sanitizer sink. "Only if I'm invited to your funeral." he grunts out.

[decaf-lesbian]

updates on the current situation (5/6):

85 dead and 134 missing (confirmed). over 200k people lost their homes, with around 47k of them in shelters and 153k at a relative's/friend's house. over 1.1 million people affected in 385 out of 497 cities. thousands of people across the state have no water or power supply, and we won't have those for at least a couple weeks. it hasn't rained in the metropolitan area but it has in the southern cities.

the main tv channel, Globo, finally acknowledged the tragedy properly but we all know they're doing it only because they have to. when it was still raining and flooding everywhere, they literally only reported the Madonna show in Copabacana. they would speak about RS for 10 minutes and her show would get 30 min. honestly, nothing wrong with the show or anything (frankly i'd love to be there and not just because we're currently underwater) but they should've been more sensible. this is one of the worse catastrophes in the history of this country and they basically said "okay we hear yall we just want to see Madonna first ok then we'll talk about whatever yall are going through". and just now they're sending reporters to talk about us. i might be overreacting but this feels so fake and like they don't actually care about us, even if they do.

anyways, it makes me happy to see everyone in the community helping each other. there are so many volunteering that some shelters had to formally announce they have more than enough to help and this makes my heart so full. ofc there are terrible people everywhere (and there a LOT here) but the good ones are stronger. i was struggling to see humanity but it's here, in every volunteer and rescuer and anyone who's taking their time to help in any way or another, be it sheltering friends or donating. we the people are the ones who are actually doing the most so yeah this is also a huge fuck you to the government who's not even doing the bare minimum 👍

sorry i ranted a little to much on this one but i had a lot to say lmao good night

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

beef with wasps

f!singer x andrei svechnikov

warnings: mentions of anaphylactic shock/severe allergic reactions, swearing, light joking of near death (to be clear: nobody dies in this), some fluff

liked by gracieabrams, rolemodel and 836,217 others

ynofficial: on behalf of y/n - she is conscious, well and in great hands. she told me to spare the details on what happened, but does want you guys to know that after suffering a wasp sting earlier this afternoon, she was rushed to the ER after going into anaphylactic shock. she gave us all quite a scare and will be in overnight for observations, but doctors are positive she'll make a full recovery

S x

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gracieabrams: thinking of you and wishing you the best recovery! <3

fan1: who tf is s?

fan2: that must have been terrifying, so glad she's ok now

fan3: sending love

reneerapp: ❤️❤️

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liked by olivia_dejonge, haleyluhoo and 921,375 others

ynofficial: they gave me so much fucking adrenalin i have a rocket up my arse rn and he's just gone to the vending machine bc im so hungry so im taking this opportunity to tell you guys that i almost died today but im ok and the reason theres no selfie is bc i look like a pickled dick rn and as charles boyle once said life is a party and im the pinata xxxxx and he did get me flowers without me even asking so im vv in love rn

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fan4: sorry you almost died?????

fan5: babe what did you think anaphylactic shock was

fan6: does the adrenalin also increase the meme usage

fan7: so she almost dies AND reveals she might be in a relationship??? my heart is breaking twice tonight

fan8: ok but the flowers???? she's got a real one there

fan9: i mean i'd like to think if you almost died your partner would get you flowers...

fan10: lmao you'd think so wouldn't you

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, madisonbaileybabe and 926,174 others

ynofficial: back home! i'm now on house arrest because "there aren't any wasps inside" (we have beef with their butts now). needless to say, it was scary for everyone, but as you can see, miley (the cat) is the only one unbothered. i'm currently typing this from under a human giant and i'm loving every second.

i'd also like to take the opportunity to apologise for my loopy instagram posting and let everyone who purchased tickets for the phoenix show know that they will be refunded. again, i'm incredibly sorry for any inconvenience!

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fan11: and you expect me to believe that human giant in the photo is NOT svech???

fan12: he also likes cats

fan13: and in her other post, it was signed off with 's'

fan14: girl don't apologise

fan15: is he ok?

ynofficial: bit teary but we're recovering!

fan16: NO SVECH DON'T CRY EVERYTHING IS OKAY

andrei_svechnikov37: ynofficial you almost died i'm not letting you go that easily

fan17: SVECH HELLO

liked by ynofficial, devonleecarlson and 57,931 others

andrei_svechnikov37: the family emergency has made a full recovery! (thank fuck) i also wanted to come on here and say that i'm unbelievably proud of this girl, and hilariously in love with her

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fan18: crying happy tears this is adorable

fan19: SVECH STOP RUINING MY STANDARDS

fan20: i love how she's wearing red in the last two pictures

ynofficial: shh he hasn't caught on yet

fan21: i've only had y/n and andrei for a day (officially), but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

fan22: am i the only one who wants to know how long they've been dating?

fan23: no!! i do too

ynofficial: you're making me blush

liked by andrei_svechnikov37

fan24: y/n is so precious and idk who andrei is but i love him just for this caption

fan25: svech is definitely a cuddler

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liked by andrei_svechnikov37, sydney_sweeney and 1,028,285 others

ynofficial: i can't find the right words to express how happy and grateful i am to have you in my life, so i'm just going to settle with i love you so fucking much that sometimes i can't breathe because of it, okay?

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fan26: is andrei the inspiration behind out of my misery?

ynofficial: yes

fan27: you guys make me sick in a good way

fan28: wow you've got taste y/n

andrei_svechnikov37: saying you can't breathe is a bit too soon

ynofficial: LMAO I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

andrei_svechnikov37: i love the love though

fan29: y/n i can't-

fan30: how long have you guys been together?

ynofficial: one and a half years!

fan31: y/n not being overly mushy on instagram and casually announcing she's dating an nhl player is my favourite part of this year so far

[glazedsnail]

Fanficcy

We're closing in to the end (not yet there's like at least 4 parts left lmao)

Misery Loved Company

ShanexOCFarmer (♀️) 18+ / swear words/substance misuse/explicit/suicide ideation/mention of abuse/Blood/injury

I know a good fanfic writer links her parts but I don't feel like it tonight I dribbled tea on my chest and that's tea that'll never end up in my belly.

Look at my family waiting for the jellyfishes. I'm taking Jas with me and there's nothing you can do about it.

Look at us all purple fresh and then there's goober with brown hair smh.

(I have a full folder of screenshots that can last me until I actually play the game again) (I had purple hair/green eyes combo before even knowing the existence of Shane this was truly meant to be)

‘Ok she’s back. Thank you Maru.’

‘I’m back?’

‘The hematoma isn’t new, do you recall when it might have happened?’

‘What do you mean I’m back?’

‘You dozed off a little, Maru got the blood needed. Fern, do you remember anything?’

‘Yes, I mean, yes. I fell face first. What’s this? How do you know my blood type?’

Harvey sighs, I’m obviously being difficult. Maru is softly laughing, removing the empty perfusion bag from the stent in my arm.

‘We have your medical records, on top of having a bank of universal donors if you want to know everything. Now can you answer MY questions? Fern?’

‘My medical records?’

‘When did you fall? Was that before the cut? Do you feel nauseous?’

‘Last night, or early this morning I’m not sure. I’m sorry.’

‘You are in a safe space, alright? Maru thank you again for the stitches. If anyone’s still outside let them know she’s fine.’

The young nurse starts walking towards the door.

‘But no one is allowed in until I say so, is that clear?’

She nods, getting herself ready. 

‘Ok Fern’ Harvey starts ‘I’ll keep you in tonight for observation. But tomorrow we’ll have to send you to Zuzu city for an MRI, alright?’

‘What about my arm?’

‘It was deep, but the shards missed any major arteries or tendons. You’ll get some blisters from the boiling water but’

‘Wait a minute, how do you know?’

He chuckles.

‘Wow you were really out weren’t you? You told us about the glasses and the tea and all.’

‘And all?’

‘Actually that was pretty much it. Do you want to keep the pieces of glass Maru extracted?’

He casually hands me a porcelain bowl with glistening small bits of glass, bloodied gauze, and a pair of tweezers. 

‘I, huh.’

‘I’m joking’ he adds, replacing the bowl on its tray. ‘There’s a bell if you need anything during the night. Anything urgent that is. I’ll phone Gus, see if Emily can deliver you some dinner. Craving anything in particular?’

‘I’m not hungry.’

‘The fusspot special then. Fern you’ve lost a lot of blood, you need to eat. I’ll be upstairs, ok?’

He disappears behind the curtains and I hear the door closing. It’s odd to have a friend turn on their bedside manners…

I feel so silly. Everything hurts so much. And I’m terrified of the town speculations.

Marnie did see it happen, she’d be able to help me dismiss any rumours. Then again, this is the perfect opportunity for her to confirm her narrative. That I’m way too unstable for Shane. 

What a thing to say. Coming to my house, waste my tea, drink my juice. Question my sanity. Forbid me to see her nephew. Nephew who made it clear he didn’t want to see me anyway.

I fall back on the large pillow with a sigh. The stitches are already itchy. The hospital gown is thin like toilet paper. The duvet is too thick. The perfusion stent is uncomfortable. Wait, hospital gown? How long was I out? Where are my clothes?

I’m too upset.

And hungry.

I pass my hand on my tired face. I try to remember what happened and what was said during the panic. I think about Vincent and Jas. Way to traumatise a generation. I carefully touch the bump on my forehead. “I’ll take you to Harvey’s in the morning.” He said. I scoff. Right. I didn’t believe a word he said anyway. That whole date was an absolute disaster. I had no fun, no laugh. Nothing. I faked through the whole ordeal. Comfortable arms? Soft lips? Warm smile? Kind eyes? … I slap myself. Left hand against my forehead.

‘Ow, ouch, oh what a fucking idiot’ I wince, folding myself over in pain. I never want to see him ever again.

Someone knocks on the door and doesn’t even wait for an answer to open. I assume it’s Emily with my food. ‘Ugh Emily I’m so happy to see you. I hope you brought something good, I’m starving. I have so much to tell you, you’re… Oh. It’s you.’

The curtain opened and out appeared Shane, holding a box.

‘What are you doing here?’ I ask, crawling back under the duvet.

‘Emily told me she had to deliver this to the hospital. I knew it was for you, so…’

‘Very professional of Emily I see…’

He puts the box on the bedside table and grabs a chair.

‘I’m not going to beat around the bush, Fern. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left so abruptly last night.’

‘It’s ok, no sweat.’ I lie.

‘It’s absolutely not ok. It’s never ok. Especially after… the time we spent together.’

My thighs tense up at the reminder. I try really hard not to look at him, lest I see his lustful eyes and sleazy smile on top of me, his sweaty body all over my naked skin.

I shiver.

Well that was an exercise in futility.

‘What do you want.’ I say in the coldest tone I can while my brain showers me with millions of images of me and Shane completely naked. 

Hardly appropriate. ‘I mainly came to see how you’re doing.’

‘I’m fine.’ I cut short

‘Do you mind telling me what happened?’

‘Ask your aunt.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You heard me.’ I’m bitter. Who wouldn’t? ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, Fern. Did Marnie come to visit you?’

I scoff. How dare he?

‘Shane, please, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining, ok?

‘At least look at me.’

‘No.’

‘Fern, I’m sorry I hurt you. Leaving you there, in the chicken coop I… Well I panicked. I simply panicked. I don’t have any excuses other than I fucking panicked. Remembered how and why I was being so… rude to you in the first place, and seeing how we were now, it just…What if in the end I’m just… reverting back to that jerk… Fern, look at me!’

‘You know there’s a bell I can tug at to get Harvey down.’ 

‘You wouldn’t do that.’

‘Try me’

‘You wouldn’t bother anyone to get rid of me, one, you’re too polite, and self conscious. And two, for some reason I can’t understand you.. Like me? Still?’

‘So you came here to insult me, I see.’

He carefully grabs my heavily bandaged arm.

‘Did you… do that yourself?’

‘I said ask your aunt.’

‘Did SHE do that?’

I chuckle, what an idiot.

‘Yes, actually. She came in and said “if you touch my nephew again I’ll cut your arm, worthless farmer!” and did this to show me she wasn’t kidding.’

He laughs, the bastard.

‘Fern’

‘It’s not that far from the truth, you know.’

He stays silent, dumbfounded.

‘W-what?’ He stutters after a moment. I finally look at him. He’s out of his Joja uniform, making me realise how long I did pass out. He looks even more tired than usual. And worried. His cold hands are cradling mine, softly rubbing it with his thumbs. He brings it to his lips and kisses it. His other hand reaches my hair he tucks behind my ear.

‘Nasty bump there.’

‘See, I ended up at Harvey’s without your help’

He bites into his lip and looks down. We stay silent for a while, his hand rubbing mine, and I feel terrible to play with him like that. I, probably, didn’t need to bring Marnie in the conversation, when he’s already confused. ‘I broke a glass, in…Hum, in anger. And instead of, you know, doing the sensible thing like going to the hospital, I spend too long trying to fix it myself…’’ 

He softly kisses the bandages. I remember him seeing the wound and asking what I did, in the panic of it all. I kinda see where he’s coming from. But I’ll never admit it.

‘So’ I start ‘ What did Gus prepare for me?’

‘I actually don’t know, I just grabbed the box and left.’ He hands me the warm lunch box.

‘No notes this time?’ He dares say, in a laugh.

‘Like you’re in a position to make jokes. Aw! Some fried mushrooms and eggplant parmesan. Nice.’

‘So, does he know your favourite too then?’

‘Only one of them is my favourite’ I say, biting into a mushroom. ‘I’ll let you guess which one.’

‘I’m a terrible cook but I’m willing to try.’

I almost choke on my mushroom bite. Who said anything about cooking what for who now. I sigh.

‘He also packed some cookies. Do you, erm. Do you want to join me and grab some?’

‘You don’t want me to leave you alone? You won’t ring on Harvey?’

I laugh.

‘If anything happens, know that I have the power to make him come down in an instant!’

‘What pyjamas do you think he wears?’

‘I can ring to find out.’ I joke, extending my arm to the chord.

He laughs, timidly, and smiles at me. I smile back. I can’t fight it. I shuffle slowly to the side and pat the bed.

‘Come on. Let’s have a cookie sleepover.’

He chuckles and joins me.

‘Aren’t you cold in that gown?’ He asks, looking at me out of the cover, before lifting it for himself. ‘Oh shit that’s heavy duty stuff.’

‘Yeah I barely need the gown at all, it’ll make me sweaty.’

He laughs, locking his eyes into mine. I feel myself breathing heavily, looking back at him. He softly caresses my cheek, my neck, reaches my shoulder and undo the first knot of the hospital  gown. He sighs, breathing heavily too.

‘Harvey could hear us’ I say in one whisper, helping him put the box of food aside and get rid of his belt.

‘I’ll have to keep you quiet’ he says in my ear. I shiver, let him devour my neck, climb slowly, delicately, on top of me.

‘Watch for the stent.’

‘I’ll be very careful, the softest.’ He slowly inserts himself inside of me with incredible ease. He tries to conceal a groan as he feels my wet inside surrounding him, ready for him.

He breathes heavily against my neck. I grab him, letting him fall completely into me. He moves ever so slowly, making me taste every inch of him in a delicious soft dance, punctuated by his breathing and low growl.

‘You ok baby? I’m not hurting you?’

I shiver.

‘N-no’ I whisper back ‘This feels..Ah..Great.’

I fail at concealing a moan. Shane softly covers my mouth with his hand.

‘Shh. You’re gonna get us caught.’ he whispers directly in my ear, moving with the only goal of making me explicitly squeal.

He’s enjoying it. This is outrageous. I’ve never been so turned on in my life. 

‘That’s my good girl.’ He looks at me, still covering my mouth, moving his hips to overwhelm me, forcing me to stay silent. I try to keep my muffled whimpers as down as possible.

‘Shane…’

He kisses me with such intense softness. I grab the back of his head, kissing him back. My eyes are getting wet from the multiple sensations, the edges of pleasures Shane is balancing me on. The risk of getting caught, the self-inflicted restriction of making any kind of noise, while subjected to the creaking of the bed, the wet sound of our bodies merging, and his slow breathing against my skin. 

I lift my bandaged arm to him.

‘Ha shit.’

‘Are you ok?’

‘Yeah I’m sorry ah.. No, don’t stop… It’s only my arm. I almost forgot why I was there.’

‘Almost?’ He replies, kissing all the free skin he can find. ‘Then I’m not doing a good job.’ he laughs, moving inside me, making me yelp.

‘Shane!’

‘Shh.’

‘You certainly are enjoying yourself’ I say between gasps and heavy breathings. ‘Are you not?’ He asks, attacking me with a stronger thrust.

‘Fuck, Shane!’

‘I said: “are you not?”’ I yield, like I’m able to do anything else. ‘I am…’ I grab him by the back of his head, locking him with my legs. ‘ I love feeling your hard cock inside my warm pussy.’ I feel him try to conceal a spasm. Despite it all, it seems I know how to get the upper hand.

‘Fern…’ 

I’m overstimulated by his slow passionate fuck, the low sound of his whispering voice.

‘F-Fern.’ he repeats, slowly moving between my legs.

He buries his head in my neck. I bite into his shoulder. Tears fall down my temples as I conceal a scream, barely. I hear him growl, feel him tremble, feel his warmth covering my walls. 

‘Fuck Fern I’m sorry.’

‘It’s ok… It’s ok, don’t worry. No please stay… stay inside of me…’ 

‘I couldn’t…Control anything I’

I laugh

‘Shane it’s fine. Come don’t worry.’ I grab him back to let him fall on me, give him some rest. He works on getting his breathing back to normal, I play with his hair, feeling my heart pumping in my chest. I try to process how we came at the same time, like two stupid romance protagonists. I laugh to myself. After a while, disappointingly, he slips down next to me.

‘Are you gonna leave?’ I try to sound completely disinterested whatever he chooses. After all, about an hour ago I said I didn’t want to see him ever again. Then I saw him again, and invited him on my hospital bed, made him comfortable in between my legs, cried at the overwhelming pleasure he inflicted on me I… I need to stop and reevaluate my convictions. ‘No, unless you want me to.’

‘I guess you got what you came for.’

‘Fern’ He shuffles against me, moving his fingers delicately on my tender skin. ‘I know you don’t believe that of me.’

‘There’s been precedent.’

‘I had no clue this would happen’ he simply says, now kissing my chest ‘It’s certainly not why I came here.’

‘Then why?’

‘I still haven’t had any of those cookies for starters’

I slap his shoulder, failing to push him off the bed. He has no right to make me laugh.

He gains back his composure and sits up. ‘First of all, I wanted to check on you.’ He grabs me in his arms, making himself more comfortable on the hospital bed. He accidentally pushes his shorts, all with belt and set of keys, off the mattress. It all falls in a loud repeating clink of noises. We both brace ourselves, keeping an ear out for “old man Harv’” running down the stairs. Nothing. Fortunately. We both sigh and he continues. ‘When Caroline ran into Joja she was white as a sheet. She was shouting for Harvey. I was trying to calm her down and help her find the doc but then she said your name.  I let her there, and took off. As stupid as it was of me. She was panic stricken, about something that happened to you. I was so scared.’ I see his eyes shifting left and right. The memories of this afternoon are mixing with distant ones. Distant memories of hurt loved ones he’ll never be able to process. He wasn’t there. He couldn’t be there. It haunts him. I grab his shaking hand.

‘And then I saw everyone outside the clinic. Jas ran to me, crying. Penny’s hands covered in blood. I tried to ask what happened, Jas was crying on my shoulder. I got no answers. I had to run in. This.. rush overrode every sense in me, telling me I had to see you now, just in case.’  He’s trembling. I realise he’s having some sort of PTSD episode. I catch him, pulling him towards me.

‘Take a deep breath, Shane. You’re fine. I’m fine. It’s ok.’ I cradle him in my arms, swaying side to side, softly humming. ‘I did tell you about Jas’ parents.’

I nod, feeling the tears gathering in my eyes.

‘And you did the best you could. For her, and for yourself.’

I tightens my arms around him as much as my injury and this stupid stent allow me. ‘I’m fine, Shane. Look at me. All I’ll get is a stupid scar. We’re all fine, ok?’

He removes himself from my arms.

‘I’m sorry, I…I’m not sure what happened.’ He says, wiping his wet eyes.

‘You’ve had to process so much on your own, to keep strong for others, on your own.’ I recall Marnie’s words from this afternoon, asking me to leave Shane alone, for his own sake. Is she right? Would I bring him down? I’m in such a better place than ever before, that’s got to count for something, right? I don’t want to die anymore.

‘Fern?’

‘What?’

‘I said “how’s your arm?” You’re rubbing it.’ I didn’t even realise I’ve been doing that.

‘It’s ok. Harvey said it looked fine. He even asked if I wanted to keep the shards but he was joking.’

He laughs ‘That’d be kinda cool.’

‘Right? And he just threw them away.’

‘What if he actually keeps everything and has a collection box or something.’

‘Shane that’s so gross’

‘I know but imagine, everything that’s been inside someone’s body! A Pelican Town time capsule, a keepsake of some sort.’

‘So, he’s got shards of glass from me, what else?’

‘Well, I’m not sure how well pumped stomach content would keep.’

‘Oh of course, that night…’ 

I look to the side, to the empty bed in the corner Shane was occupying that night I stumbled upon him on the cliff. Harvey had done a great job preventing Shane from falling to alcohol poisoning. I shudder at the idea of what could’ve happened.

Shane grabs my chin, turning my head to him instead of the empty bed full of bad memories.

‘I’m fine.’ he says, knowing exactly what I was thinking about. ‘I mean, not…”fine”, but, I’m ok.’ he quickly adds, laughing. 

‘Can you stay with me a little longer?’ I ask, nuzzling into his chest. ‘I don’t want to be alone in this room.’

‘You can always ring for Harvey to come down’ he answers with a grin. ‘Yeah, you know what. I might. He seems like a good cuddler. Good night, Shane.’ I reply, turning my back on him and covering myself with the heavy blanket. ‘Don’t forget your pants on the way out.’

He laughs, I feel him shuffling down, lying next to me. He passes his arm under my neck and intertwines his fingers with mine. I’m too stunned to say anything. His other arm is resting on my waist, his hand on my chest. His leg pushes mines to insert himself in between.  I hear him sigh, and he kisses the top of my head.

‘G’night, baby’ he says in a soft whisper.

I’m, err, surprised? Pleasantly surprised that is.

I can’t help but feel bitter. I should have told about Marnie, about what she wants, what she knows, from his own mouth.

I didn’t say anything, I let him make love to me. Ha! Let him. Like I didn’t want it as much, if not more. I let him weaken me, make me laugh, remind me that I fell in love with him. He genuinely seems to not know about Marnie’s little visit. It wouldn’t be his choice. If he didn’t want me around he wouldn’t be spooning me right now.

But perhaps Marnie’s right. I can be a bad influence on him. All my talks about trying to be together and see, were they just to serve me? I don’t know properly why I fell for him. The only certain thing is that I want him happy. Do I want it enough to let him be happy without me? What if his happiness is kept at bay because of me? Every day he’d look at me and know that I tried to kill myself once. I can’t possibly bring him any good.

I can’t choose for him.

He holds me closer, as if to calm my troubled thoughts.

‘Good night, Shane.’ I finally whisper back.

[timperi-fan]

Hello!

Just want to say I’m absolutely loving ILITAYH so far, it’s so cute!!

For the spoiler question, I was wondering if that broken mirror outside Timmy’s house has any significance later in the story? (My brain is going crazy with theories)

Thank you for your amazing work and for pioneering this ship, I never thought about it until I saw your page and then read the story. Now I can’t STOP thinking about it.

@far-from-fran :

Hi, hi! 👋🏾

Thank you! Thank you, thank you so much! >////<

*Squee* Thank you so much for asking! Ok, so the mirror is a hint that Irep is stalking Peri, and has been for a while. I picked a broken mirror, because, well, I wanted Peri to check his appearance, but I thought it would be boring for him to just poof up a compact mirror. So, I figured, why not do a bit of foreshadowing? UwU Peri was in an alley anyway, it wouldn't be weird for there to be a mirror that someone threw out. People throw out old junk all the time. So, I thought it would be cool if Irep poofed in a broken mirror for Peri to look at himself with. Because:

1. Irep is sending bad luck Peri's way. To be clear, the date was going to go bad either way. Irep didn't do anything to effect it. That was all Peri's doing. :)

2. Irep wants to play into Peri's image/identity problems, by giving Peri a distorted image of himself.

3. Irep just wants to taunt Peri, not that Peri knows that. (Yet. 😉) Irep is (going to be) placing little clues around Peri fuck with him. An, "I know what you've been doing." type thing. Basically, Irep wants to drive Peri at least a little crazy. And, to be very, very smug about.

@msnihilist :

I'm actually the one who added the detail of the mirror being "ornate," inspired by the gothic architecture of Anti Fairy World.

When I started ch.7, I paralleled the broken mirror scene by having Peri look at his reflection in a nearby window.

ch.6:

ch.7:

I think the "bad luck" thing is fairly obvious, lmao. Irep is in the fic's character tags and the main antagonist for season one, so I don't think it's a secret that he's going to show up at some point.

I like the symbolism of Peri seeing his broken/unclear reflection when he thinks everything is fine, and then when he sees his reflection clearly, he can see that he's actually a mess. He's seeing his situation in full now and it's not looking good, haha.

Fun fact, Fran is actually the one who had the idea for this fic / the ship. I became a co-author over time, but she definitely had the idea! She talked about it during one of my Twitch streams and I immediately loved it, it's what got us talking more and more often, and now we're besties!!

Fran is the TimPeri founder 🥺 So based of her, honestly.

I do get credit for posting the first Timmy/Peri fic to AO3, though.

Thank you for the ask!!

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 23 !!!

I'm back batchers rip my sleep schedule lmao but nothing can stop me from watching tbb

I've got my skittles and my tumblr and disney+ and I'm ready to go 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x03

this entire planet looks like it's made of spice

nervous imperial you're not fooling anyone my dude

Tawni Ames 👑 shoutout to the queen herself Tasia Valenza 💕

CORUSCANT !!!

CROSSHAIR 🥺🥲😭💕❤ I missed you sm (I watched s1 hours ago 🤫)

another Kallus parallel 👀

regs will always hate tbb lololol

Rampart 🔫😁(me, I hate his guts)

32 rotations... 32 ROTATIONS I- 😫

the empire are bitches and we don't negotiate with terrorists

the memorial wall 🥲 (we're gonna pretend it isn't a bunch of random letters hehe)

a few behind Crosshair literally say: sdflkphi, dkniihqaz, aweututn, qqhgouer ~ anyone know more aurebesh than me who can explain this pls ??

he called him by his name !!!

CODY CODY CODY CODY 💕💕💕💕👑👑👑👑

Cody's face when Crosshair mentions the jedi 😭

the only two without their helmets on !!!

FLASHBACK TO THE FIRST BAD BATCH APPEARANCE IN TCW 👀

"mmhmmmm" ~ battle droid, bro 💀

"Dooku was right in the end" real

"We always get shot down when we travel with regs" 👀

"How unfortunate... for you" ~ someone else said this and now I can't find it 🙃 anyway I'm pretty sure it was Crosshair idk

the droid high five lmaooo

clever boys 👑

Crosshair and Cody team up will never fail to make me happy 👌

"I've beaten clankers with far less" tbb mention 🥲💕

Cody trusting Crosshair 🥰 "you do make things interesting" I'd love to see early Cody + tbb missions pretty pretty please 🥺

my mans doesn't even flinch !!!!!

I can feel his smirk when he blows up the tank hehe

Cody has a jetpack and still went nah Ican make that jump 😂 I mean he did but still

Cody complimenting Crosshair 💕

WYLER AND NOVA OWN MY HEART FR

droidekas !!!

Wyler r.i.p my love 💔

There is just something about clones vs droids ya know

Crosshair and Nova silent communication I love it 👌

Cody screaming for Nova and Crosshair pulling him away 😭😭😭😭

r.i.p Nova my beloved 💔

Crosshair's discs !!!!

backflip !!!!

knife knife knife knife knife- 👀

Crosshair calling for Cody to help 🙃

KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE-

Crosshair putting the puck in Cody's hand - bro at first I thought mans was too injured to move the way he was like 'throw it for me I can do it from laying down in this spiral staircase' and he makes the shot and stands up 2 seconds later and is back to committing war crimes ?? Crosshair you dramatic bitch 💀

"nice throw" "nice shot" 🥰🥰🥰🥰

notice how the tk troopers got captured so they send clones to get them out.... 🙃

Mina Bonteri 💔

"peace was never an option" devastating

the clone music when Cody reasons with Tawni 😫🤧

Crosshair following orders but also saving Cody from having to kill Tawni

the Crosshair music 🥲

"so much for peace" 💔

"put her body in the square" but I can imagine how gentle he would have been with her body... do you think he left his helmet off so the people could see his face or did he cover his face for that

Ok I want to go full english teacher for a moment I'll do it in a few eps watch this space 👀

Crossy and his lil toothpick 💕 (he just murdered someone)

the clones did the dirty work now more tk troopers arrive 😡

Cody's whole speech 💔😭 "we make our own choices and we have to live with them too" knowing he's thinking about everything he's done and thinking he killed Obi-Wan... what if I screamed into the abyss ???

Crosshair not being able to sleep 😫

Rampart doesn't even know their names 😡

OKAY do we think "gone awol" means Cody has actually left or is he awol the same way Wilco is??

COME ON CROSSHAIR JUST LEAVE THE EMPIRE ALREADY 😫

hehe thank you for coming to my 2am tbb rewatch (again hehe) 💕 sorry it's late again if you saw any spelling miatakes no you didn't 🤟

[finniestoncrane]

i was inspired by your recent posts, also I'm not sure if you've answered one like this before?- but headcanon request of all the Eddies and who is a 'grower' or a 'shower' and anything else you'd like to add on about their cocks 😇

Riddler Dicks

Riddler Headcanons you have asked me the exact right thing at the exact right moment lmao ok so i did this ages a while ago with so few riddlers so this is a nice excuse to go back over it and go into some detail >:3 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: suggestive duh it's COCKS

arkham

ok so he is definitely about average, maybe an extra inch in length

6-7 inches probably, doesn't look much different flacid to hard

definitely veiny though, and with a slight curve up

and his balls are huge, good at making a slapping sound

and he has entirely unruly pubic hair

dano

i think he is hung like a fuckin horse, like 8 inches and thick

something about those tall nerdy boys, they're just always hanging

he also has a pretty head, all pink and shiny

and his balls are cute? do you know what i mean

like they're so round, so spherical, so adorable

zero year

we're rockin with 3 inches while stiff here and i am into it

he's got a lot of hang-ups about it but i. love. it

pretty little dick surrounded by a tuft of flaming red hair

balls that are small but red and smooth

and he ruts like a wild animal, so he puts a lot of effort in

unburied

little bit below average but it's fine cos it looks fuckin amazing

an impressive grower though, like that shit is dinner and a show

it curves to the right, and he's prone to wagging it around

and it tastes so good, like he puts effort into his diet

because he likes getting those four inches slurped on

btaa

4-5 inches, and he's proud of it

he gives me short stature, short dick, short king energy

and he's so talented with his cock, and his mouth, and his fingers

so you never really realise that he's just average

cos baby girl is far more impressive than most

telltale

5-6 inches with a nice thick girth

he's not going to brag about it, like he does with everything else

but he knows it looks good and feels good

especially when paired with his amazing tuft of grey pubes

(also his balls are long, gravity comes for us all)

twojar

he's got 7 inches of primo dick, but he's thinks that's enough alone

so he hasn't bothered to learn how to use it properly

interestingly enough, carpets do not match the drapes

they're much darker, same with the skin tone of his cock and balls

but hey you're not in it to feel something with him, just to look

btas

i am giving don juan five inches of gorgeous and talented meat

he's good with it, of course, and it's nice to look at

thick, uncut, tidy pubes, nice balls

but he could make you cum with a smile and a compliment

so it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things

young justice

baby boy. is a full on breeding stud. with neverending capabilities

a definite shower, thick, long, twitches when he's hard

the tip is always slick with precum the instant he's aroused

his pubes are interestingly not shaped or trimmed

and he is pretty clumsy with it, so it might be painful...

gotham

like everything else about him, it is long and skinny

but also very pretty, and pleasant to look at, and strangely cute

PLUS he has very tidy pubes, immaculate presentation

and he is very careful, or hesitant, because he's a timid thing

and so is his dick! because it's a definite grower

[superfallingstars]

Hey, for the playlist ask thingy, what about:

What Peter would listen to

Remus trying to find a job

What you think the weird sisters would sound like if they existed

send me a playlist prompt!

Omg sorry it took me a billion years to get to this. The problem with making playlists is that there is basically an infinite number of songs in the world and I'm always like, well maybe there's a better song out there that I haven't heard yet and I should listen to just one more song/album/artist/etc. But that's the devil speaking. Anyway these prompts were so fun and I really really enjoyed them :-) also I wrote SO much

First up is Peter! I already have a Peter playlist (it's kinda on the silly side, aka it's rat-themed), but for this, I tried to focus more on what he would listen to, rather than songs that describe him (or rats). Since Peter is evidently very impressed by showy, tasteless displays of masculinity (aka James and Sirius), I imagined he would listen to – PROGRESSIVE ROCK! Prog rock at its best is like, really incredible musicianship and composition, and if you can buy into the drama it can be really good. But at its worst, it's just tasteless and pretentious and you're like, wow these musicians are so far up their own asses that they can't even tell that their extremely technically impressive guitar solo sounds like garbage, and also did they even listen to these lyrics, cuz they suck. And I went for specifically, like, late-70s-early-80s prog rock, when it started to get really overproduced and bad. Sorry I just kind of reamed prog rock in this paragraph I swear I legitimately like it… You can only hate something this much if you're intimately familiar with it. I should also note that I chose some of these songs for their lyrics ("The Logical Song" and "The Very Last Time" both are REALLY great songs for Peter's personality and friendship with James, respectively) and some of them are even good. They're not all bad. But they're mostly bad. Anyway! Please enjoy my garbage! 

Track list:

Supertramp - The Logical Song: "The questions run too deep / For such a simple man / Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned / I know it sounds absurd / Please tell me who I aaaam!!!"

Utopia - The Very Last Time: I love you Todd Rundgren. "Nobody sees how you treat me like dirt / Nobody knows just how badly a man can hurt [....] It's the very last time you will get on my case / It's the very last time 'cause I won't be a fool no more!"

Yes - Roundabout: this song is literally good

Rush - New World Man: man I hate Rush. But this is rather tolerable. "He's old enough to know what's right / But young enough not to choose it / He's noble enough to win the world / But weak enough to lose it / He's a new world man"

Yes - Parallels: sucks

Kansas - Point of Know Return: sucks

Asia - Heat of the Moment: sucks but it's a classic

Yes - Leave It: sucks even more than the last Yes song, which is really saying something

Electric Light Orchestra - The Way Life's Meant to Be: We're ending on a good note imo. They don't make concept albums about time travel like they used to! But really I put this on here because it made me giggle. "...I wish I was back in 1981 / Just to see your face instead of this place / Now I know what you mean to me / Ooh, and I wonder, yes I wonder / Is this the way life's meant to be?" lol. lmao even

Ok onto music that is good!

Next prompt was Remus trying to find a job! Gah I adored this prompt! That being said I kind of just made the saddest playlist ever LOL. I'm really fascinated by the time in Remus's life between the Potters' deaths and his employment at Hogwarts. Wtf did he do all those years? How did he get by? Since this playlist is about that time in his life, it's full of songs about the meaninglessness of life and just generally feeling lonely and empty and disconnected. And also working. FUN. Again I admittedly poached a lot of songs on here from my (very bloated and unfinished) Remus playlist. As far as genre goes, I like the idea of Remus having a pretty eclectic taste. But I tend to lean towards things that are lo-fi, scrappy, and less polished, as well as things that are a little jangly or jazzy (basically what I'm saying is that The Cleaners from Venus are theeee Remus band of all time). I'm going to try to restrain myself with the commentary this time

Track list:

Yo La Tengo - Everyday: One of the most depressing songs of all time imo. "Looking to forget tomorrow, looking everyday." Yeowch!

The Cleaners from Venus - Wivenhoe Bells (II): Like I said the Remus band of all time to me. Jangly, jazzy, lo-fi, + incredibly catchy songs about everyday English life

Even As We Speak - Nothing Ever Happens

Fleet Foxes - Helplessness Blues

Pavement - Here: "I was dressed for success / But success, it never comes" 👍

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now: obviously

Nick Drake - Been Smoking Too Long

Galaxie 500 - Cold Night

The Dismemberment Plan - Come Home: The more I listen to these guys, the more I'm convinced that they're one of the best bands ever, as well as being the rare math rock band with good lyrics. Very literary.

Mount Eerie - Moon, I Already Know: I can recite this whole thing like some devastating prayer. Remus song of all time. Moon, I already know I'm small on the ground I roll around and feel menacing mountains And all depths of sorrow dwarf me All towering terrors are mine to cower below I know, I know, I know already So don't look at me like that and then Duck behind clouds I know I'm small and that I have no idea I know, I know, I know Let me be dumb again Let food drip off my chin Let me think you're a light Please please let me sleep through the night unknowing Let me close eyes. Ok I'm gonna throw up and die

Ok this was probably the most difficult prompt for me – I really had no idea what The Weird Sisters would sound like. But if there's any area of music that I'm familiar with, it's mediocre 90s alternative rock, so let's get to it. In the movie, The Weird Sisters are made up of members of Pulp (hi, Jarvis Cocker) and Radiohead, so I decided to start there. And I think Britpop is a natural place to start for a UK band that was big in the 90s. But I wasn't really feeling it with the usual culprits – Pulp was too sweeping and dramatic... I thought Oasis would be more "rock," but frankly, they were just too annoying. I wanted something a little more power pop (a genre that I can only describe as sounding like Disney TV show theme songs. Or, like, Stacy's Mom). And while tapping through related artists for small Britpop bands I've never heard of, I came across the song "1 Time, 2 Times Devastated," and I was like – THIS IS IT. Exactly the kind of mediocre 90s rock/power pop that I was looking for. (Also sorry that I keep saying mediocre I just can't imagine that The Weird Sisters are very good LMFAO! Idk wizards have not convinced me that they have a cool youth culture! Sorry bout it!) Other than that, I thought "Girl From Mars" by Ash was also a good fit. The rest of the playlist is mostly early Radiohead songs (they've got that Britpop feel, but they're a little messier and unpolished. And solidly mediocre) and the more up-tempo Supergrass songs (there's this sort of bouncy piano + drum thing they do that I quite like).

Track list:

DM3 - 1 Time, 2 Times Devastated

Ash - Girl from Mars

Radiohead - Just

Cud - Robinson Crusoe

Supergrass - Tonight

Radiohead - Anyone Can Play Guitar

Supergrass - Moving

The Stems - At First Sight

Radiohead - Thinking About You

Supergrass - Richard III

Anyway this was probably more specific than anyone would ever want but idk man. What I lack in media taste (what with my enjoyment of Harry Potter and other mediocre children's media) I make up for in, um, media taste (pretentious music nerd).

Thank you so much for the ask. Please send me more music asks I beg. There's like a 20 business day turnaround but like, I love making playlists, and getting to infodump about music is literally my dream. I hope you enjoy the playlists :-)

[crinkled-emotions]

ok ok ok here we go. Lemme set the stage... Hangman is late to class (which nEVER happens right?? jk yes it does). He comes running, literally running and frantically eating his microwaved breakfast, into the classroom right as Maverick starts lecturing. Then Pete is like "kk fam we're doing aerobatics maneuvers today so suit up ASAP." Hangman tries to scarf down his food, Bad Idea #1, then go up in the jet and do all sorts of crazy shit, Bad Idea #2.

BOOM. TUMMYACHE.

(I have had too much coffee this morning but tbh I regret nothing)

......w*termelon s*gar

*sobs* watermelon... s*gar... I'm fine.

I asked Hangman what he thought about this and dude pretended to be dead and I was like well damn that's a vibe but also- dude, the world's not gonna end... or is it?

Anyway it's nearly midnight but my little brain says you didn't work today use your noggin for something useful and here we go!!

No listen I'm thinking of that one story about the jet, and the puke, and it all- I won't share the whole thing. It's on youtube. Sorry Glen lmao. (time stamped link!)

-

Despite being in the US Navy, where scheduling was key, things tended to be a little up in the air a majority of the time. The Daggers had come to rely on some very basic facts that would get them through everything mildly unstable or the rapid changes in their day to day lives;

The first, Rooster was the mother hen of their group and according to Maverick, he got it from his dad. For a man who had once upon a time almost punched Hangman for making a comment about his two fathers, he was incredibly docile a majority of the time and tended to have advice or a hug for those who needed it.

Phoenix always started the day by throwing an arm over Bob's shoulders at breakfast and stealing his hashbrown from his plate at breakfast because she wasn't quite hungry enough for a full meal but she was indeed hungry enough to eat them every morning. He'd started asking for extra in the queue and the kitchen staff found it hilarious.

Payback and Fanboy, once an inseparable duo, had now roped Bob in with them and the three of them spent a lot of time tossing a football around or talking about something nerdy. Bob preferred Red Dwarf to Star Trek and apparently Fanboy had never heard of Red Dwarf so they were watching that in their spare time. Payback, ever the supportive pilot, always made the drinks and snacks for their viewing sessions.

Lastly, Hangman was never late. Ever. Not even to a doctor's appointment on the other side of base, or to a gathering at Maverick's a few weeks back when he had a dentist appointment right before. Rooster asked him about it once, the first time they went through TOPGUN, and Hangman had shrugged, claiming he'd been raised that being late was never a good look.

-

Yawning, Maverick stood near the lecturn and reached for his paperwork, grimacing.

"Why are we still doing roll call? What are we, twelve?"

"Thirteen, actually Mav, I think I'm getting my first chest hair," Rooster deadpanned which earned snorts of laughter. Maverick sighed, leaning on said lecturn and grimacing.

"Bradley, please, now is not the time to be talking about your delayed-"

"-I'm sorry I'm late, sir. I had to- never mind."

Hangman came rushing into the room, some kind of microwaveable burrito in his hand as he took his seat at the front of the room. Maverick watched him for a moment, shock written on his face, and then he cleared his throat.

"Don't worry about it, I hadn't said anything important yet. Uh, okay, so if the email didn't send last night, a recap of what we're doing today-"

"-what email?" Phoenix asked, confusion on her face, and Maverick blinked for a moment.

"I can't tell if you're fucking with me or I didn't send it right."

He looked to Bob for support but Bob shrugged, staying silent.

"Alright then... I guess we'll go over it. This morning we're getting straight into hops, we're fixing some manoeuvres I wasn't so sure of last week, and then the rest of today we should be- Bagman, you wanna give yourself a moment to breathe before you choke on that poor burrito? What'd it do to you?"

Maverick had been watching Hangman out of the corner of his eye since he came in, surprised to find him scarfing down his breakfast. The younger aviator blushed, tentatively putting down his burrito.

"Sorry, sir."

"Mmhmm. Okay guys, off you go, get your pre-flight checks done and let me know if you need anything. Bradley we'll talk about your sass later."

"Sure thing, Mav."

-

Honestly, the breakfast burrito hadn't even had time to settle as Hangman scrambled into his flight suit. He could hear Bob struggling with his zippers as usual and glanced over his shoulder at Rooster, who was humming along to whatever song was in his head.

"Hey, mom, you wanna help Baby on Board into his baby grow?"

"Suck a fat one, Bagman, I don't see you getting into yours so easy," Bob replied dryly, yet he extended his arms for Rooster to help him. Rooster huffed at Hangman, but chose not to respond. Hangman grimaced, feeling his stomach cramp, and put his ass back on the bench for a moment to recover.

"Oh shit, you're gonna blow chunks before the hop?" Payback scoffed as he rounded the corner from his locker, heading to the exit. To Hangman's surprise he was actually talking to Fanboy, who was bent over the sink and not looking so hot.

"Man, those fuckin' 'ritos, I swear to god I get sick every time I eat them."

Hangman's body temperature suddenly dropped and he shivered, swivelling toward the sinks in the locker room.

"Hey, Fanboy, what did you mean?"

"I was super hungry this morning but I got to breakfast late enough that there were only burritos left."

Oh, fuck.

-

"Okay, split into two teams. Coyote, I want you to spend some time working with Rooster today, you and Hangman are completely in sync but you and Rooster seem to be ever so slightly out."

"Yes sir," Coyote replied easily, navigating back toward Rooster's jet.

"Hangman, today I really want you to focus on communicating with... everyone, really."

His stomach was cramping again, and he could feel bile building in his throat. He swallowed it down, one eye on the air and the controls while he frantically searched for the puke bags. He'd just restocked them, he was sure-

"You got that, Hangman?"

He didn't have it, but he agreed anyway.

"Yes sir, I got it. Hey, do I get bonus points for taking out Rooster?"

"Sure, why not."

"What- hey! Mav!" Rooster protested. The Daggers could hear Maverick laughing.

"It'd be nice for you to be quiet for five minutes, so sure, you two compete against each other first. The first person to get tone wins, we'll wait over here."

"Fight's on!" Rooster called, clipping his mask on properly. Hangman furrowed his brows, chasing him through the clouds. They were matched neck-for-neck, but then Rooster pulled the move Maverick had taught him and let Hangman pull up to his tail, trying to get tone. Right at the last second he pulled up and settled behind Hangman, tone sounding immediately.

"God damn it," Hangman hissed whilst the others cheered. He could hear Rooster laughing through the comms and swore, ripping his mask off to catch his breath.

"Alright you two, knock it off. Hangman, sounds like you just earned yourself 200 push ups."

The rest of the Daggers cackled. Hangman winced, pinching the bridge of his nose as his stomach grumbled.

Oh, hell, seriously-

"Alright, everyone invert, we're going to-"

His stomach cramped and then he felt the bile rising again, but this time it was coming up. Reaching for where the sick bags were supposed to be he found nothing and cursed himself, one hand navigating his jet while the other covered his mouth just in case.

"Who is that gagging? Is everyone good?" Maverick asked. When the other Daggers called back that they were okay, Maverick cleared his throat.

"Hangman, I think you should go back to base, yeah? Get back on solid ground."

"S-sir, I- Mav-"

Too late.

-

"Guys, I'm so- fuck- I'm so sorry."

"It's not the worse we've seen, but your jet is out of commission for the rest of today at least."

The ground crew peered into Jake's jet, matching grimaces on both of their faces at the splashes of puke all over the controls and his seat. He was still sitting on the wing, a bucket in his arms as Maverick watched from the ground. His hands were on his hips and his aviators were staying over his eyes, but neither of these things hid the concern on his face.

"How long have you been feeling sick?" Maverick asked, shielding his face from the sun with his hand.

"Uh, think it was the breakfast burrito. Fanboy wasn't so hot either."

He buried himself back in the bucket, puking up what little he had left. Maverick grimaced, watching the rest of the Daggers coming over from where they'd all abruptly landed to see what was going on.

"Did anyone else eat the breakfast burrito?" Maverick asked them. When they all shook their heads, he facepalmed.

"You're all excused. Jake, get down from there, I'll take you home."

"Mav I'm not going anywhere until the wing stops spinning."

"Fair enough. Scoot to the edge, you can pretty much slide on to Rooster's shoulders."

"Hey-"

"-what-"

"-shut up you two, just work together for once. Rooster, go and stand by the wing."

"Yes sir," Rooster huffed, Payback going over to give him a hand. Hangman passed the bucket down to Coyote who seemed mildly disgusted and then scooted to the end of the wing. He managed to slide down, wrapping his arms around Rooster's neck. Rooster caught his legs but then proceeded to pretend to drop him. It was enough to rekindle the nausea and Hangman buried his head into Rooster's shirt. In seconds it was damp and he couldn't believe he'd just puked on his frenemy. He was never going to live this down.

-

[ftm-radio]

hey everybody...

...and to celebrate, I want to play an ask game!

I have a pinterest board full of images (currently 786, jfc) that give me gender envy for whatever reason. All you have to do is send me an ask with any number from 1 to 786 and I will find the corresponding pin and share it on this blog.

Might be something cool, might be something weird or embarrassing. Who knows! That's part of the fun. tbh I barely remember what's on here at this point so this will be an interesting game for me, too.

if you don't want any part in this and don't wanna see it, that's ok! It's within your right to be a party pooper 💙. I'll be tagging everything so you can go ahead & block/filter this tag

#trans bday 2023

aaaaand you should be all set! 😊👍🏻

There's more info & disclaimers, please give these a read before sending anything!

💀 i tried to put this under a cut, but tumblr is dumblr 💀

in no particular order...

I'll be opening my inbox & starting this game today (the 14th) but technically my trans birthday is tomorrow. we're playing early because I'm impatient and also it's almost 800 pins, guys! I'd like to see as many of them as possible so my inbox will stay open through the 16th as well.

when you do send in asks, please be patient because I will be scrolling through almost 800 images and trying to remember how to fucking count 😫🙏 in addition to trying not to be on my phone all day.

anon will be on!

you can send multiple numbers in one ask, just, y'know, be reasonable. like no more than 8, alright?

you can send as many asks as you want, the more the merrier! (not to sound desperate but please send asks lmao)

while my inbox is open, if anyone sends other messages and stuff I most likely will not respond to them! just FYI. <3

none of these images are explicit, if anybody is worried about that. idk, just wanted to make that clear just in case!

95% of these images were found just by scrolling through pinterest. they are not mine & so I have no clue whether or not they were stolen or reposted, so that's my big disclaimer. ✌🏻😔

if anybody wants me to share a link to a shirt or whatever: no ❤

That's all I can think of, so here we go! 🥳🏳️‍⚧️

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

finally have time to continue my rewatch and its the bob episode

this episode really raised my expectations for the show in a way it never delivered so idk that there'll be much to say unless i see random stuff that ended up tying in later

now that the show is over i kinda feel like this episode was unnecessary lol it should have been a half ep if all it was gonna do was push guel back to space. it should have been an episode where the audience is made to sympathize with the plight of earthians more given what was to come and from what we see in the episode itself, but from the posts i saw around the internet between when the episode aired even up until now, a lot of people did not care for the earthian struggle and some even called them stupid. i'm sure that's just a ton of outspoken reactionaries but i wish they could have done more with this plotline

instead we get this idiot full on stockholm syndroming over his abusive father. guel could have had a clean break from everything. hell, he could have continued being a shitty capitalist but yknow maybe not be a war profiteer.

anyway, this ep marks our first opening change with eri's silhouette finally revealing her datastorm form

i love nika's character but lol i'll always side with norea on this issue. nika's idealism is noble, but it just doesnt work irl. and her saying that dawn of fold is causing suffering is so laughable when spacians and the benerit group are literally foaming at the mouth for profit at each new conflict on earth that they can provide weapons to

sabina-sama, my beloved

yea amerikkka sucks, norea, i agree

lol capitalists are so goddamn stupid

the depressing thing about this line is how so many things work like this irl and capitalists don't care that eventually profits will come down to a trickle becuase they'll jump on to the next big thing to get them high profits as quickly as possible

lol this is so dismissive to the suffering of an entire planet these evil ass people just left to rot

i didnt remember that they have kenanji in this scene telling rajan what a bad idea it is to send benerit group brownshirts to attack earth. i guess it's supposed to paint him in a better light and make him seem "reasonable" or "moral" or whatever but lol no

literally everyone pretty much until almost the end of the show

i wish we'd gotten more interactions with sophie, like a flashback of her on earth with these kids would've been nice

ok i guess i forgot the fight in this ep is cool, but lmao the prodoros doesnt even have a kit at all!!!!!!! so like what was the point

damn comrade olcott rules

oh huh thats kind of interesting. whatever that thing olcott's wearing looks an awful lot like the headpiece suletta and miorine wear in the timeskip to communicate with eri. i'm guessing it's some kind of gund tech since that facilitates the use of his prosthetic arm?

*secelia voice* kashtanka woof woof

can the novels please give us more info about this lmao like we're just never going to know why the hell notrette created quiet zero

i'm really never gonna feel sorry or bad for delling, like ok you were sad your wife died and you were a controllling freak

ok sure it's finally revealed to us why he came up with this ridiculous holder system but how dumb do you have to be to do this?

i said it in an earlier post as part of my rewatch, things could have gone soooo badly for miorine. guel was physically abusive, how was that leaving your daughter in "safe hands"? someone could have become the holder and literally raped her or something

anyway i hate delling and i'll forever headcanon that even though maybe they're on amicable terms in the end, miorine probably never fully forgave him

ok on rewatch i guess this episode was better than i remembered it being. like standalone, its definitely a good episode imo, but mannnn i really really wish it ended up tying more into the actual plot than it actually did. i just really sympathize with dawn of fold lol and instead they just got kinda brushed off as being pawns of the SAL's big plan to just rearrange who was profiting off weapons sales lol

ok might do ep 16 tonight too, not sure yet

[clearbun]

look at that, I'm capable of making a half decent pinned post!

artist, writer, and crafter (with too little time in the day for anything)

we absolutely love getting asks and dms, we don't bite! we just have extreme anxiety that makes replying a little harder than it is for most people <3 patience means a lot

main fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Persona 5, Danganronpa (especially SDR2), Ace Attorney, One Piece (still watching pre-timeskip I'll catch up one day 🙏), and lots of other things that I don't want to spam space with, if you've seen us rb stuff related to it we're probably brainrotting over it at some point!

Links:

@and-im-fine writing blog! I post bits of wips here, and eventually links to finished fics too <3

@living-avarice other writing blog specifically for my Greed Lives AU longfic

Greed Character Playlist: YouTube Music / Spotify I add to it every so often and have lots of fun with it so you should go listen <3

we use the tag #dol-talks for most of our general talky posts, "#my art" for our art, and #vent-ish for vents and complaining

system related info under cut:

We're The Aerie, a fictive-heavy DID system! chances are if we've shown that we're into something, we've probably split an alter from it at some point (aka the "I know we joke about having the entire cast of fullmetal alchemist in here, but we really don't need to keep splitting guys from there whenever we're stressed it's ok" system)

some of the alters you might see around:

🪙 Greed (he/him, old because. homunculus. but maturity wise around my 30s probably): the host with the most, that's me! <333 I love talking to people so much and need attention to survive pretty please send me things it makes me so happy <3 I'm the one who runs the writing blogs! I love making content about my source so much <3 oh you can also call me Dol, it's both a "normal" alt name for me and our general name right now (but if you don't specify you're talking to me I'll assume you're talking to us as a whole)

🦾 Ed (he/him, late teens): co-host! bit of a mixed source because I fused with a fragment from the last host at some point (Greed note: he wasn't fronting at all before I started typing his thing, he didn't trust me to do it LMAO)

🤍 Kim (he/she, 34): ex-persecutor, part time gatekeeper, full time diseased

🃏 Ren (he/him, 19): caretaker for our littles and teens, he has a hard time using words and normally talks with emojis and pictures! he absolutely loves people

🖍️ (little): not including her name for now, but we reblog things with #🖍️ when they're meant for her! if you send us things you think she might like you'd win gold stars in so many peoples books

...and more! we'll at least use emoji signoffs if not names too if it's someone specific talking and they want to identify themself <3 feel free to send asks for anyone you see unless they specifically say they don't want it!

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E10 "Despite Yourself"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

wow first time the android dint have a bass sfx XD saru's tendrils - oml when he covers them is kinda cute i like owosekun's hairrr vulcans with weapons powered? bruh r we in mirrorverse we're in mirrorverse. 100%. yup. it was obvious from the end of last episode esp with 2 DISCOs showing mhmm. yeah these cuts need improvement still but alright bring it DISCOs turn for mirrorverse antics. lets go. haha this ep writen by someone named "sean cochran". zefram? jkjk tribble backk so cute give me one i wonder what its name is

ok this spinning scene of lorca and burnham and saru talking is spinning way to fast for too long how long are we going to keep spinning. its actually making me busy and hte cuts are not consistent in momentum so it didnt feel seamless it sholdve been takien in one shot and the camera needed to stop WAY sooner. thats how you wouldve actually shot a scene of that type. but "idk" ig, im just a mortal 😭 OK STAMETS. NOT ME SENDING PEOPLE 10 METRES AWAY FROM A TAP OF A FINGER sylvia saying "oh my god" then resuming like nothing happened was such a fast tone change i see those piercing marks on doc's ears. i always get this thoght of, whenever i see that on someone, im like BRUH PUT THEM BACK IN some of these camera ratios, rule of thirds, etc., are like. not done great? idk the eye is not reading the shot how it should a lot cuz the entity is not in an advantageous spot onscreen. tyler is going THROUGH it. damn. i think tyler's actor does well with representing traumatic fear oh interesting. i love these tactile sounds like the sound of the device tyler is wearing on his hand to control the ship's arm i like lorca's rbf XD

shit. poor tyler. thats never ok. her violating u like that. ugh. this makes me uncomfortable oh interesting. oo his klingon inflections are so good oh shit this is a weird scene its such a MIX of implications i like the acting i it actually it felt actually kind of complex, though the idea is simple nice this was actually decently shot. i like the way tyler's hair sits on his head haha looks nice nice swoops man these inconsistent camera transitions (one pose in the last cut, but a diff pose in the other) tylers acting doing p well actually his emotional expression is p decent yeah good ash x burnham is still an f no for me feels so empty it prob always will to me oo the gore effects of the cuts on hishand from the broken glass look relaly good faceless emperor. im so curious who.

"mirror disco". yess. ooo what do their mirrorverse selves look like SYLVIA. oml oh my god oml this is coo,ll oml SYLVIA LETS GO BEAT HER ASS. NOOOOO WHAT THE HECK HECK HELL HOLD YOUR HORSES?? WHAT THE CRINGEEEE oml please sylvia pull through lorca coaching her lmao WHAT THE FUCKGKKHKH O9H NMY GODDDDDD CHIEF ENGINNEERRRRR AND LORCA DOES A PASSASBLE SCOTTS ACCENRTTTTT????@?!??! YOURE FUKCING KIDDDIDNGGGG GET THE FUCK OUT OH MY GODDDDDDD/???? LORCA I MIGHT LIKE YOU MORE OML H GHGJAIHO THIS PREMONITION FUC KKKKKKKK lorca has a type of voice that sounds nicer when its quieter if that makes sense? it almost sounds strange when he yells? idk maybe its just me or maybe thats the way audio was edited oml the way saru was saying "well thats not very clever" was so emotive its beautiful oml their uniforms are oml so cool man the mirror badge man ill say not to be a shit but i love to always see this TOS/star trek root-type episodes where they reminisce on such a classic trope from og trek - but at the same time, i wihsh trek didn tdo it so much to just solely rely on TOS to make its relevance stronger, no matter how sensible that seems? while star wars feels preety big and expansive and busy with a lot of overlapping lore star trek is literally just "TOS, the expanded version" it feels so small. in that, nigh everyhing will forever and always just be/because of TOS. and i love tos. dont get me wrong, its my all time favourite forever. but trek i feel like never can develop significantly newer stuff? OH MY GOD USS DEFIANTTTT LOOK AT HERRR god i cant wait to see this ship design.. but yeah idk if people understand what i mean. that something so ideologically massive as trek is so small as a creative work in its "relevant lore". sure tng has its things, so does ds9, voy, ent - but it all comes back to tos. which is a double edge sword. a good thing. but also a bad thing. for if it were without tos, then much of trek doesnt really hit like that. yes be great hubby hugh love your mans ?? oh for a second i was like his eyes oh wow seeing sylvia with sstraight hair oh wow it compliments her head and face shape ngl she looks great in the armour. they all do ooh lorca in a leather jacket and black t shirt? okok works on him oooo sylvia lets GO GET IT YES KILL IT BRUH DO IT DO IT oo this dark lipstick works great on burnham oo i wonder when we will see sylvia really a captain

wtf. lorca for real? yo ujust did that to yourself? for blood? bruh we couldve done make up also yes of course, big runny red line down side of face. oooooooooooooooo MEAN BURNHAM lorca is an oddly good prisoner. hmMmmMM damn yall sass. ugh i really really really want more trek games. is he not human. is tyler not humnan. is tyler not originaly human. SO TYLERS A FUCKING KLINGON? i love his look of dejection hes relaly good at it. dude. hes a fucking klingon UH UHHHHH UHHHHHHHHHHHH??????????? DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HUGHHH??????? WHAT THE FUCK????? WAIT GAY COUPLE IS GONE DEAD NOW ITS OVER??/ WHAT I THOUGHT I THOUGHT STAMETS AND HUGH LAST LONGER? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? IM SO CONFUSED?? WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DID HUGH HAVE TO DIE ESP LIKE THAT? WHAT THE FUCK. what the actual fuck. its always the poc who dies. fuck you. idk. if he rly died or what. but fuck you. and trek still in the closet fuck this internalised homophobia. its been 6 FUCKING DECADES. GET OVER YOURSELF. KIRK AND SPOCK FUCKING EXIST. JUST COME OUTTA YOUR RAINBOW DOORS & BE DONE WITH IT. FUCK. (and no im not condoning invasion of privacy of one's sexual/gender orientation at all. i just mean if you said your gay. then own it. cuz trek has said it. its called seasons 1-3 of TOS, TAS, ST I-VI, AOS I-III. so own it. fuck.)

burnham does this role relaly well in a way she fits THIS mirror burnham more than her default. also damn lorca hahaha what i say, he gets kicked around a lot but its intersting that hes cap in this kind of role damn burnham you angery. i like this gold foil look on their armour. oo get him burnham get him get him decent choreo ooo ok ok yeah decent choreo oh yeah oooo nice i love this blade design oh shit burnham sonequa did well in her reaction to stabbing him. u can read the shock aand regret in her eyes forget klingons mirorverse starfleet is literally death. bat'leth? more like batshit. also this bridge oo whoa her bridge is on the bottom of her ship ooooo her warping oooo captain burnham but not how i thoughbt itd happen i feel like sonequa is better in this its crazy i feel like her as mirror self is better?

yes those HIGH boots sharp black and gold ugh. i love love LOVE the art department behind DISCO. hmm i feel like i see definite glimpses and glimmers of really quality stuff and quality delivery in this show but htey are very sporadic. spaced apart y inconsistencies and discrepancies. i think this sho wcouldve been much better ash and burnham - im sorry but who actaully, ACTUALY cares about them together. snoreeee s n o r e e e e e e um. lorca. is actually getting tortured. dude whta did i TELL yall. hes literally the one who gets pissed on fr fr 😭 damn. seeing lorca screaming. damn. id be surprised. but then again. he gets bashed all the time so. eh. ngl i feel like lorca gon die. but i wonder how.

damn.

[aspiringtrashpanda]

(CONTINUED maybe we're back on track if I didn't mess up my text splitting pls don't eat a part tumblr, I THINK there's 5 if I counted right??? im so sorry OP you're an angel for putting up with me and I'm starting to think I didn't give you an adequate enough heads-up) This fic is my baby, it has grown up with me, I’m literally sending Leaf to College at one point to project that life on 🤣 hey Blue Oak did it, so can she. (but Highschool first, can’t convince me anyone with the education of a 4th grader (or 8th grader tech, Ash is 10, she's 14 Let's Go-style where he was born during "protagonist years") will be allowed to be a Champ who wants in on how to run a region and detective work) schooling is a bit different in Pokeverse, you take Uni classes for fun, don’t need two years of an AA or AS Degree. Pokémon Toxicology, BioDiversity and Medicine re: using their natural abilities VS Organic Chemistry ANY DAY + Law Student-like internships at the League to learn Champ duties + fun bonus of Lance doing extra and involving his League with the Interpol.) "Where do you think you're going?" "Out." "Without doing the paperwork?" "You can give it to the intern!" "You are the intern." “I cannot believe this betrayal. This slight against me will not be forgotten.” “You mean just like how you didn’t forget the League duties you insisted on being allowed to do?” eyebrow raise “…well.” Lance is not exempt from bullying.

"You're the one wearing a bib!" "A what?! It's a cape!" "And it's on the wrong side!" "It's a cape! And it's elegant!" "It's tacky is what it is!" You're likely to find her complimenting Leon's cape just because of how offended Lance gets. Choosing a cape is a science. But nobody wants to hear a one-hour monologue on Cape Studies. Payback uwu. He's actually the reason she ends up having to finish Highschool. He's not giving an obviously emotionally tired 14 y/o Boring Adult Work even if she's eager to do it because SOMEONE needs to fix the atrocious state of the Kanto Region. (Lance was overworked, he's trying, but Indigo Season...what is wrong with all these citizens. It's ok, once she's ready they can split uuuh, the work between Kanto, Johto, The Orange Islands, and the Sevii Islands + G-Men Investigations so Lance doesn't have a heart-attack at his desk. But seriously, who gave him this much work anyways??? Not to mention running the League, the Gym Budgets, restocking Badges, employee paychecks, monitoring trainers during League Season, and the influx of tourists and establishing Pokemon Contests in KanJoh, etc.) So it's off to learn The Magic of Friendship with Ash and friends and falling victim to their puppy-dog eyes. (Occasional meet-ups during Kanto turn into full Joh-Hoenn adventures, and Sinnoh encounter when investigating with Looker about Team Galactic as Lance I presume is off training in Galar, he needs a break too.) So for Johto (*insert horrified look at the GS Ball because that's what you use to capture Celebi, she would know~ "well heck, guess I have to steal that when no one's looking.") And everyone going, "You know Leaf, I was a bit worried when we heard about The Incident but you're still you :)" Cue Leaf "oh...*laughs nervously.*" (That moment when you disappear off the face of the earth after The Incident, and re-appear to win the Indigo League and Clean House and don't know how to tell people you kind of regained memories of your past life and had an existential crisis. They're a bit come and go/the ones getting triggered upon meeting Steven in the Granite Cave episode was fun lol (not) *Gets to Ecruteak, sees Morty, books it the other way because she remembers his warnings to not chase after Celebi from The Other Timeline/Gameverse and does not need him seeing the many ghosts of her dead Pokemon clinging to her if they are.*

BLUE OAK DID IT, SO CAN SHE! This is gonna be my new motto for everything, whether it's relevant or not lmao. These Lance interactions are everything to me. I LOVE found family League shenanigans. So precious I want to cry. Okay I want to read this fic so badly. It sounds so heartwrenching and fascinating and I can tell you've put SO MUCH thought into it. Gimme. *Grabby hands motion* (actually though, i am happy to beta read if you ever consider posting!)

[beomsl]

Confession... I pretended to hate smut for idols and even tried to make myself feel bad for liking smut bc most of the kpop online friends I had hate smut (yet they liked fluff so???? Make it make sense LOL) 💀 I don't try making myself feel bad anymore bc there's honestly nothing wrong with smut 😭😭 but I do still pretend I don't like it so thag I don't get full on hate crimed 💀/hj

ok i understand how you feel cause smut is so frowned upon and it can feel embarrassing to enjoy it but just like you said it's like reading fluff but erotic version lmao, everything's fiction and it doesn't hurt anybody cause we're not sending the fics right to the idols to make them feel uncomfortable like c'mon this is even a +18 rated app. it's okay if you don't want to admit to your friends that you enjoy reading it cause if they won't approve it it's not even worth it, and as long as you're not hating on the writers just to seem "moralist" everything's fine no one judges you here <3

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