#it's not the closest one which is also fine but not as fine

[dreamerdrop]

Oh God, yeah. During the war, Julian is basically going full into survival mode. He's pulling away from people, he's keeping his mouth shut, he's basically letting himself turn into a hollow shell that just looks like him because everything is so exhausting and he doesn't really... have it in him to be himself anymore.

I feel like I personally give kind of a pass to most of the characters on DS9 being jerks about Julian being obviously autistic for the sole reason that... one of the things I like about DS9 is that they're all pretty messed up in one way or another. Miles is allergic to voicing emotions and sentiments out loud (despite Keiko's best efforts, but she's also not great at it herself), Jadzia is shown constantly to have a REALLY inappropriate and poorly timed sense of humour, Kira is... Kira, and her issues mean that Julian's issues basically rub against each other like sandpaper.

Garak is interesting in how his dynamic intersects with Julian being autistic though. Garak seems to delight in Julian doing things like being blunt, infodumping, etc. Garak is someone who would drive ME a little nuts IRL because his specific brand of enigmatic behaviour would wreak hell on my lack of self esteem and inability to trust my judgement...

But for Julian, it seems to be a huge part of the draw. I think, in part, it's because Garak does seem to recognise when he's pushed too far and then, in his own weird way, often... relents a little.

Like in Cardassians, on the shuttlecraft. Julian basically says, very bluntly, "Garak stop talking in riddles this is serious and I don't want to play games anymore" and Garak immediately goes "alright fine here I'll talk as plainly as I am comfortable with".

Or, in an odd way, the scene on the Defiant during... season 6? Where Garak is basically insulting Julian over his augmented status. That scene is a little rough, even with the knowledge that this is effectively flirting for Garak, but. There's something in it that actually stands out to me as Garak trying to relent a little.

Specifically, his comment about Julian being a Vulcan. Julian is sensitive about his augmented status. Garak knows this. Garak insults him over it, and then towards the end of that little spat, saying "you're not genetically engineered, you're a vulcan", it kind of... reads as like, Garak trying to steer the conversation back to something playful, something that isn't actually attacking Julian.

(And there's obviously a lot to be said for how Julian is somewhat smiling to himself at the end of that scene.)

I think there's something similar to that in his dynamic with the others. I don't think any of them really have particularly good social skills, honestly. Jadzia comes closest but her levels of extroversion and enthusiasm mean she's often putting her foot in her mouth too. (... oh that's why she and Julian make good friends, they both have the party autism.)

Thing is, I think if Julian ever actually said to any of them "hey that actually kind of upsets me could we not" and they realized he meant it, they would apologize and mean it, but because everyone on that station is messed up and lacking in social skills, they all kind of constantly end up battering against each other with poorly timed jokes and insensitive remarks and dismissal of trauma and none of them ever figure out how to address any of it.

Narratively, though, Julian's trauma gets brushed over more than almost anyone else's, and that DOES piss me off about the writing. Even before we get to the augmentation aspect (which is taken seriously as traumatic for exactly ONE episode), a lot of the time Julian's issues just... get kind of tossed to one side.

Character wise, I think Julian is the type to focus on other people's issues so he doesn't have to acknowledge his own, but the way the show itself often ignores those issues does REALLY grate on me.

Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.

He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.

And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.

He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.

He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)

[suzukiblu]

WIP WEDNESDAY GAME

Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from @kedreeva.

It’s WIP Wednesday! This week’s theme is [ REDACTED ]. No, I will not be explaining what any of these WIPs have in common. 💛 Who knows, maybe we'll all find out together! 💛💛

Here’s how it works:

I will post the file names of five WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.

Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!

Multiple requests are fine, but please send them in separate asks. Just a little easier for me to fill them that way, and also easier for people to read through the WIP tags smoothly later.

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

WIP names:

Clark panic-adopts his teenage clones (( chrono || non-chrono ))

the one where Kon's soulmark isn't fake (( chrono || non-chrono ))

we are so pleased with this Match (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Match and Kon and the time magic made them do it (( chrono || non-chrono ))

love is being stupid together  (( chrono || non-chrono ))

snippet from “Clark panic-adopts his teenage clones (yes, including the supervillain one)”:

Thirteen follows Martha into the kitchen. Match does the same, mostly because he has no idea what the hell he’s supposed to be doing right now, because Superman didn’t leave him any orders and hasn’t come back yet. Duplicating Thirteen’s behavior, unfortunately, is the closest thing to useful intel that he has in this situation. 

Martha fusses Thirteen into a chair at the kitchen table. Thirteen looks bewildered about it, which is the only possible rational reaction, so Match can’t even consider him an idiot for it. Jonathan gestures him towards one of the other chairs, and Match literally cannot remember anyone ever implying he should sit down for anything but a medical examination or something transportation-related. Ever. 

It’s presumably an order, though, without Superman here to be giving any of those, so he sits. Unfortunately it’s directly across from Thirteen, but better than “next to”, he supposes.

[sepublic]

The Titan paralleling Adam from the painting and not God is interesting to me, like it really emphasizes in the end that he was a mortal, just some guy, and the forebearer of other mortals; His direct descendant is ‘immortal’ in a lifespan sense but still very capable of dying and even human, for lack of a better term. One could say the Titan committed a ‘first sin’ by trapping the Collector, which then hurt her descendants (because being Bigender, the Titan would also be Eve wouldn’t she?) when the Collector was left vulnerable to Belos’ manipulations.

I think it emphasizes that the Titan is not God, she’s a flawed mortal, even after the comparisons to God and Jesus and whatnot with Luz’s resurrection; Because the reference are ultimately tongue in cheek, and about exploring the positives of Christianity and embodying the compassionate spirit, without being an actual official Christian and all of the other baggage that Dana criticized in Belos.

It was about Luz living the closest thing she can to her fantasy for a moment; But it can never truly happen and it shouldn’t, and she’s quite fine with that, after the guilt from the time loop Philip called ‘destiny’ and King’s existential crisis. Hence why Luz has to make being a Chosen One happen, rather than the Titan deciding it for her before Luz was born. There is no higher entity imbuing meaning or laying out destiny, the time loop was just temporal physics preventing a paradox, things just happen without any grand purpose or design to it.

Likewise, given my analysis on TOH expressing Dana’s relationship with Christianity, this could also be a nod to that; Dana having a complicated relationship with the idea of God in her life, and the Titan being a way to explore that. And fittingly it’s reiterated in the idea of a mortal reaching out to understand the connection there.

[taylor-richardson-has-questions]

On and off since I was 14 I've been questioning my gender identity. For small periods of my life, I lived as male but for some reason always came back to my birth gender. I think it's because of what i think those closest to me will think. I've always been worried about my family not taking me seriously or thinking I've flown completely off the handle bars.

But I've never truly lived as the gender I feel that I really am. Yes, I've cut my hair mega short, knowing very well that I'd be gendered as male (which secretly is what I really want) and I've worn gender affirming clothing, maybe not as often as I would like, but enough to make myself comfortable.

I've always been afraid of exploring my gender identity further than that in fear of my family's opinion mostly. But now that I'm nearing 30 in just a few short months, I realize that I don't want to conform to what I think other people think I should be.

I want to be me and for the past 15 years, I've only been dappling in exploring the gender I feel that I am. This is something that I always come back to thinking about and I'm done thinking about it.

So, this blog is for me to be the authentic version of myself. Let me formally introduce myself.

My chosen name is Taylor. I'm 29. I just recently started using He/Him pronouns. I love Harry Styles. I also enjoy to read all different kinds of books. I write novels and song lyrics on my free time.

I like my coffee black. I also really like pizza and true crime documentaries, but also shows like "Everything Now" , "Heartstopper" and "Atypical".

I like indie, folk, country and pop music. I don't have a favorite color. I want to travel to England one day. I like all kinds of art. I'm single and ready to mingle with everyone.

And mornings are my favorite part of the day!

I have two cats. Their names are Freckles and Bella. They are my world ❤️ I'm currently in the process of getting my grade 12 (I dropped out of school when I was 16 or 17) and I plan on going to UBC to study Fine Arts.

I'm a pisces. My birthday is in February. I don't have much friends, but I hope that changes :)

That's pretty much all there is to know about me! I hope I can get to know you too! I'm always down to meeting new people. So don't be afraid to message me!

Best of luck and all the love,

Taylor

[ashironie]

reblogging bcs i have a lot of thoughts

i fucking HATED how Jon treated him s1, we also have to remember that before we see ANYTHING of Martin straight from the horses mouth, we see him from Jon’s pov. And Martin probably wasn’t very good at his job, but that’s reasonable since he transferred from the library to an archive, he most certainly didn’t expect to be in research 2.0. Martin has no clue how to do his job and he couldn’t let anyone know that because he wasn’t even supposed to be there. The reason i started liking Martin was because i hated Jon, and the reason i hated Jon was because he was mean to Martin. My thought process was thus; Jon’s an Ass to Martin for really no reason, so I’m going to like Martin to spite Jon

Now, i too sorta dislike s5 Martin, when i first listened i found him to be really whiny and kinda ungrateful. During my relisten a lot of the problems i had with him were lessened because i was just so unuse to this new Martin, and before, he would do everything I would, but now he was a lot different, which gave me whiplash. it’s like expecting the driver in a car to take a turn and then they just don’t, you can’t blame them but there’s a sense of wrongness in your stomach. Now again most of these problems i had were fixed when i relistened, knowing what was going to happen, and that was my main complaint with s5 in general, expecting a turn and the driver just keeps going straight

Now going back to s1 (since i realized i didn’t explain my point very well). When ever Jon talked about what Martin did it was heavily biased, and whenever we hear Martin talk it’s around Jon. Around the person he doesn’t want to get in trouble by. We heard in the beginning of s5 tapes that Sasha and Tim were a lot different then when being recorded in s1, so obviously Martin (with a more easily identifiable reason) would also be a lot different. Then when everything went down and he dropped the act a little, we do know he was still acting. The tapes we get in s3 before the Unknowing are the closest thing we get to him being genuine, and even still he doesn’t want to admit how much of an asshole he is.

Now it’s fine if you don’t like Martin, he’s specifically written as a very complex person, and that means that sometimes people just hate him for no reason. But I dislike the criticism that his personality was very touch and go, it’s just that we didn’t know what was actually going on in his head until end of s4 and s5.

Now my defense of why I like Martin is;

He has a very heavy faun response, which same, and that aspect makes him really interesting to me. Being manipulative and having a heavy faun response are the same, but are seen differently.

i detest the idea that he is never in the wrong or that he’s just a sweet cinnamon roll. Martin, early on, just follows the lead to anyone who makes it seem like they understand even a little, then does a full 180 into thinking he knows what’s right and wrong without any input from anyone. Then realizes that, he really doesn’t know, nobody does, and he still thinks he knows better more often than not, but he recognizes this in himself. There is no ends to anyone’s character arcs in TMA, they still grow and struggle with the same things, but they find new solutions and new problems. And i think all of that is really interesting! It adds to the tragedy, it’s fine if a character dies when they are finished atoning for whatever narrative sin they have be set up with, but it’s tragic when they never get to! They are told what they need to do, and try to do it, but die before they can. Sasha died before she could be anything but a memory, someone who almost just haunts the narrative. Tim died in a noble way, but ultimately pointless one, as we come to find out. He is still just as angry, and he still didn’t bring the two people he wanted to save back from the dead. He didn’t win, even if he and everyone else thought so. He could’ve healed, but he killed himself before he could. And Martin tries like hell to figure out how to listen to people without only listening to him, and he fails a lot, a LOT a lot. But he died before he could just relax. Jon was the same, he got too deep and thought that, with enough time, he could figure out a way, not out of the hole, but closer to the surface. And he would’ve, if given the time. But he was dragged back into the same bullshit by the same man and by the same fear.

sorry that one was a lot longer but yk.

Martin is also stubborn. He was endlessly patient with Jon early s5, and the idea that he’s impatient the rest of the season i disagree with. He is just very careful with what he gives his time, maybe a bit to careful, but again with him over-course correcting. But he is still very stubborn, which i feel like is a good word between perseverance and determination. He knows that they will find a way to get everyone safe, as much as possible. He is too patient to believe the easy answer, and too persistent to allow everyone else to settle for that either. He does dumb things sometimes, but when has a tma character not? but is still fiercely protective of his people and ideals. if not a bit misguided at times

I'll be so honest with y'all, I always thought Martin was written to be an intentionally dislikeable character (like s1 Jon) for like character development or something, and then I was even MORE sure of that by season 5, and then they just kinda never touched on it and the fandom was all obsessing over him and it's like?? What do y'all see in him unless you relate to him omg 😨

[berrymeter]

idk if i should advertise comms on FA when i get back from the zoo or later... cuz i will be a little sploded from this whole Awake thing

[socksandbuttons]

something that took me so long to realize

when i didnt like a girl character with guy characters and then going 'clearly we dont need that' my response was originally getting the Aromantic definiton and going 'YEAH THATS MY GIRLS!!! AROMANTIC!' me now: no.... no theyre just lesbians.

NOW AROMANTIC DADS ON ANOTHER HAND-

[starlit-mansion]

the funniest thing about kellan is that he looks physically different in every set (by which i mean his hair texture and skin tone and overall look do not quiiiiiiiite match) but at no point does he ever look like oko

like absolutely i've been nursing a headcanon about kellan that his hereditary shapeshifting manifests less as physically morphing and more by him very easily fitting into a dovetail of what people expect of him and what he's trying to be that changes between different planes and situations, which is also why his color identity and mechanic function has changed so much over the sets

but it would also be. honestly really funny if he didn't look like oko because he never knew what oko looked like and so his subconscious half-fae shapeshifting never had anything to latch onto and manifest

[northersouth]

KaeMAYeus Week 3:

Lunch Break | Love Poems

I got struck with the initial idea for the Kaemaeus ship at the beginning of 2023. It started with the premise of Kaeya taking Klee by the alchemy table in search of Albedo, and Timaeus having to regretfully tell them he was still away on Dragonspine. To avail Klee's disappointment Kaeya would take her to get lunch at Good Hunter, on a whim inviting Timaeus to join them. It ends up becoming a regular occurrence, the two chatting about this and that over a shared lunch break. They find that they like each other's company, and over time go from acquaintances, to friends, to more.

Given that it's June, I got more than a little behind on this. I still had fun this last month, trying to do a bunch of pieces for my server's rare pair alongside my friends. Thank you to @throwaway-writing and @tittysuckersworld for nudging me into making the prompt list. And for participating in this silly little ship with me. ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

(Textless versions of the pictures below the cut)

[altruistic-meme]

why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!

[kakashihasibs]

I am so glad emergency vets are a thing

[coridallasmultipass]

Halloween costume hint:

(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)

[waywardsalt]

god i love how driving is the single most prioritized form of transportation and how despite that the infrastructure around cars still manages to be absolute dogshit sometimes and this extremely regular transportation i have to do almost every day can become distressing really easy

[bunnihearted]

🍓

[pumpking64]

.

[smallblueandloud]

i have now posted 49 fics on ao3. my next fic will be my 50th, which is very exciting!

...i think i want it to be bail organa time travels. if i can. which means i gotta... get back onto that