#it's not really poetry but it isn't not poetry either
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i never related to the phrase 'i feel like a raw nerve'. i understood it, sure. we can all imagine the pain. the thought of anything brushing up against something so exposed and vulnerable, it's not something anyone would like to think about for long. when i was a child, i learned that there was no space for my own emotions. it was always about my mother, or my sister, or anyone but me. it was unsafe for me to share my feelings, because they were dismissed, infantilized, deemed as less important. in response, i shut down. i didn't allow myself to feel. it was better to swallow the pain and smile and listen to others instead. now, as an adult, it's become my main coping mechanism. a way of surviving in a world that brings endless suffering, but beauty too. i don't allow myself to be open to any of it. i do not feel, like many say, 'like a raw nerve'. i feel like a closed door with a hundred locks and deadbolts with no keys to be found. i feel safer, that way.
the thought of opening myself up, of finding the keys and unlocking the door, terrifies me. it scares me to death. it seems so silly. they're just feelings... but when you've been taught that what you feel doesn't matter, feeling anything at all becomes suffocating. it feels like drowning.
i'm in therapy now. i've tried to work on myself plenty of times before, started something, got better, and still fell off the cliff time and time again. most people would quit. i almost quit. most days i still want to quit. but i'm here, and i'm breathing, and there's no time like the present. so, i'm in therapy. again. this time, it's more intense, more grueling. it's multiple days and longer hours and more therapists than i have friends. i knew it would be hard. of course it would be hard! you're expected to open yourself up, to unlock the door and spill everything out that's been trapped there. it sounds logical, it is logical, but knowing something and actually experiencing it isn't the same. and for the first time in what may be more than a decade, i'm understanding the phrase, 'i feel like a raw nerve'. here i am. exposed and vulnerable. here i am. open and scared. here i am. feeling like a raw nerve.
#words#spilled ink#spilled thoughts#poetry#written words#ruby shards#mine#it's not really poetry but it isn't not poetry either#i don't know if this makes sense but i cried for the first time at therapy today in 4 months#once i started i couldn't stop#and now i feel absolutely awful#so i needed to get it off my chest somehow
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one-sheet yuri zine using a poem i made from my old roommates' autostraddle queer word magnets. will share a printable version soon. photo of the original poem on our fridge below the cut:
#zine#ink drawing#traditional art#poetry#yuri#It's sad but that doesn't mean it isn't yuri. I hope you can understand the vision.#ALso this isn't an advertisement for the autostraddle magnets. I didnt even know where they came from#We just had words like Bisexual Bob and Knot and Taurus on our fridge and then I sat in front of it for 3 hours and made a poem from it#this has been sitting on the backburner forever because iwas moving and didnt have a scanner but im glad to share it im still proud of it#portfolio#i really can't content warn for this sorry i don't even really know what i was going for either
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I dont play genshin anymore so idk as much as i used to But would wataru be a furina main...
I WAS LITERALLY JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOWWWWW
I still think he'd be a Venti main because that just. It just Feels Right to me but he'd have Furina on his team
When she joins your party she does a little Wataru pose and when you change her from pneuma to ousia she's also super dramatic about it and life is a stage soooo many of her voicelines are about the opera and stage directions get mentioned and she's so Sooooo much to me
Look at her go and her strike animation are also so good in one of them she dramatically puts her hand on her forehead and feigns hurt and it's just. It's so fun she's so fun (and then there's all the angst but pssst)
#I don't think he'd necessarily main Furina but he'd have her on his team def#idk ventis playstyle seems like it'd fit better with him#Fontaine is such a dramatic nation it's so good I love it so much#they're like the anti-Inazuma#Inazuma was dark and serious and purple and then there's Sumeru which isn't dark at all but it's still kind of serious#Liyue isn't dark anymore but it's a little serious still it's ok the same level tbh#and then Mondstadt and Fontaine just. at the whoooole othsr end of the spectrum they are the drama they are the poetry and the theater#culturally they are almost the same but mondstadt drinks more and fontaine eats more#and the people of mondstadt don't know their archon is their favourite bard from the tavern three blocks away#the people of Fontaine are very aware of their archon being the lady from the opera house but both of them are more or less celebrities#I think those two either get along Really well or not at all#deoends on the time#<- german and a history enjoyer the associations can not be undone anymore#cobalt🐍
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Do you have favorite actors for the various roles in "Cyrano de Bergerac"? I would love to hear your thoughts!
I do! I actually rambled a lot about this while I was watching the different productions I could get my hands on (I tagged it "Cyrano de Bergerac" and "I talk too much").
My favorite productions are the one with José Ferrer and the one with Benoit Solès, and those actors make the best Cyranos in my opinion. Though that's probably something in part beyond the actors' choice, their dynamic with their respective Roxane and Christian are the best ones, I think, and I find how Cyrano moves around these two particular characters at the core of a good Cyrano characterisation.
José Ferrer's use of his voice, which is arguably Cyrano's true most characteristic feature, is unmatched imo (although McAvoy does a very good job with this too), and he manauvers very well several of the different aspects of the character, such as his playfulness, his shittiness and longing. By the end of the play you believe he is the most beautiful man on Earth. Cyrano, however, is a bit pathetic (not just in a "pathos" way), and I'd say Ferrer gives off an air full of dignity very fitting of many scenes, but that eats almost entirely this aspect of Cyrano; Benoit Solès manages this very well, while also playing well with some of the other ones, such as the playfulness, the longing, the pain and the despair. Both Ferrer and Solès are hilarious, tender, a bit shitty, vulnerable, playful and sad. Albeit neither of them portrays 100% what Cyrano is, I think both come pretty close in slightly different flavours, and by the end of the play one ends up being terribly fond of them.
My favourite Roxane is Clara Huet in the production with Benoit Solès, but Mala Powers in the 1950 film is a close second. I think they portray wonderfully Roxane's spunk, and her mix of honest playful cheerfulness and her haughtiness, her intelligence and wit, and how much like Cyrano she is.
I've not come to love for now any Christian as much as I've loved Ferrer, Solès, Huet and Powers, but again I think the Christians in the 1950 film and the Solès productions are very very good. I love the dynamic they have with their Cyranos, especially the one Christian and Cyrano have in the 1950 film, enhanced positively by the added scenes (they actually work so well in showing their developing as friends, their deep love and care for each other!). I don't want to expand too much on this to avoid spoilers (beyond the already known 'Christian dies' ones I mean), but some things they do with both these Christians are a thing of genius, and both feel vulnerable, kind, ready to fight and truly desperate at times; I like when they do that.
There's an Italian production which has a Cyrano I truly enjoy as well, despite how they dumbify him more than I usually like my Christians. His mix of anger and deep pain when he discovers Cyrano's feelings for Roxane were so well made, and his physical presence makes you identify who Christian is even before the play starts.
The Podalydès production has two different Christians. The one in the version on youtube isn't bad, but @ride-a-dromedary likes Éric Ruf a lot. I actually adore him based on the clips and gifs she's posted of him, but I haven't been able to find the version with him online, so I can't know. But he truly seems one of the best. Based on what little I've seen, I love his intense gazes and subtle gestures.
I'm not entirely sold on any Le Bret, De Guiche or Ragueneau yet.
I think the German musical has a decent Ragueneau in vibes, and the 1990 French film does as well. I found his poem made song for what I think is a Spanish production (I'm not sure if it's a fan creation based on the Spanish production), and while I've not been able to find that production online, the song works well in vibes too I think.
The German musical's Le Bret in vibes is very good. He encompasses well his deep love and worry for Cyrano while also being done with his shit. They truly feel like close friends. The 1950 film kind of combines Gaston de Castel-Jaloux and Le Bret into one character, which sadly changes Le Bret's dynamic with Cyrano a bit, but that's a very good Le Bret as well. The one in Solès' production is pretty good too. He has my favourite delivery of the scene in which Le Bret chastises Cyrano for risking his life sending letters.
De Guiche is complicated. I think productions often make him too pathetic and laughable or too bad, so bad it makes the last act kind of not make sense. The 1950 one, the 1990 French one, the Kevin Kline one and the Solès one are all good, but I am not passionate for any of them either.
And basically that's it!
#I'm sorry for such a long reply‚ it wasn't my intention. In fact I tried to keep it short but oops#As an extra I'll say that the Japanese film based on Cyrano‚ Life of an Expert Swordsman‚ has a quite good main trio#The Christian character is pretty‚ noble and kind. The Roxane character is smart and well-versed in poetry and a writer in her own right#I loved when productions enhance these aspects of these characters#Kline isn't a bad Cyrano‚ but he is a bit too unbelievable to me. He is too pretty being too old. I already don't like these characters#being old because it makes it lose some sense (they're idiots in part because they are young) but he is so fit for a ~60yo which is like...#Really? The nose? A young man with the same traits is more believable to be self-conscious and think himself unlovable I'd say#I like that Kline comes off at times as a bit cruel and violent and I think it works well with how he is a lot of fun#But at times he is so much fun it ruins the mood‚ although this is a problem of the production in general and of it being based#on Burgess' translation‚ which is something I could ramble about on its own and that makes me kinda mad#I think Depardieu on the other hand falls short on being fun. He tries so hard it isn't funny and it often feels a bit pathetic to me#but not in the way Cyrano is meant to be. On the other hand‚ I felt Depardieu was too full of himself in this film and was too aware#of being he protagonist. The thing about Cyrano is that he doesn't think he is#All in all‚ the more I watch this film the less I like it and his portrayal of Cyrano. I also don't like their Christian and Roxane#(although she isn't as bad as the Klein production of Roxane‚ who is for me among the worst)#I'm not sold at all on the 2021 Roxane either‚ and this Cyrano is so much the dashing tragic hero that he isn't funny#which is one of Cyrano's main characteristics. So I don't like the 2021 Cyrano a lot either. But that's not due to the acting‚#but because the musical does a poor work at being an adaptation of the play and its characters I'd say#The worst Cyrano out of the ones I've seen is perhaps the one in the Italian production I've mentioned that had a Christian I liked#Their Roxane was awful too but iirc Le Bret was good and Ragueneau was decent#I'm not into the Podalydès Cyrano at all. One of the Cyranos I enjoy the least I must admit. But at least he isn't that Italian one#I conclusion‚ and I always feel kinda sectarian‚ everyone should watch the Benoit Solès version#The José Ferrer film is popular enough not to mention#I talk too much#Cyrano de Bergerac
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I had 1 (one) good day of like 'oh yeah, I'm a human and I know how to talk to people' and immediately after it was followed by my brain doing it's Shit.
#dear brain- shut the fuck up#'Kris why do you consider yourself the craziest person in any room you're physically in'#because most of those people don't have hallucinations and delusions.#they don't hear voices.#they don't dissociate so hard that they lose grip on reality#they don't cry because they're not sure if something is real or not and because they know the fact that they're questioning it...#whether or not it is a delusion or a hallucination- or really their the fact that they're questioning reality at all is bad#I say 'I believe xyz and I know it's not real' and people think that's Well Adjusted of me#or they're not sure what it means to believe something and know it can't be real#but it's how I have to live because trying to keep my foot too firmly in either door#the delusion isn't real. or that it doesn't exist at all-#caused me so much distress when I was younger#but sometimes. sometimes I open my mouth and a new delusion comes out and I only know I've been delusional based off of the horror#or confusion on people's faces#and because I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now#and I don't run in Mad Pride circles anymore#and I make sure I get enough sleep and I make sure I get enough to eat and I stop and I breathe and I make sure I get movement#I do All The Healthy Things just to have a fucking base line that allows me to mask#because I couldn't always.#and do you know how much I fucking hate that i have to do *so* much just to still believe there's a siren living in the train station#and that sometimes I can't take the train home because I know i'm not strong enough to avoid her song#but if I said that outloud everyone would just think I was writing poetry again#look at the metaphor- it's a little on the nose don't you think?#I am a Well Adjusted Crazy now. Did my time in the white rooms and the couches. If my therapized self was a human- it'd have graduated#it'd have a degree.#I guess in many ways... it does.
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Translated by George Lang
Another interesting genre occasioned by death is the epitaph.
#tumblr blaze#poetry#french poetry#this is a really lovely translation!#poetic translation#it can be hard to do poetic translation in a satisfying way but this keeps the rhyme scheme and the general meaning#the meter isn't far off either#ivan goll's headstone#epitaph#death#myron mumbles
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How about headcannons for fae Nightmare are fav Winter King??
You're in a relationship with two Nightmare's, really.
The first Nightmare is the King. Overwhelmingly powerful, aloof, wickedly intelligent, stern but with a strong sense of justice, (privately) very caring and gentle. This Nightmare is the one you spend the vast majority of your time with. He flirts like a courtly prince... he ballroom dances with you on glittering midwinter nights, he reads you poetry by dwindling firelight. He gifts you the finest gowns and furs, matched only in craftsmanship by his own, he puts crystal necklaces around your neck and silver rings on your fingers. He kisses your knuckles and takes you on long romantic horse rides, he has a winter flower garden made for you, he wraps his cloak around your shoulders when you're tired. This is the Nightmare that has been tempered by hundreds of years of rule. The man he shows the world; the man he wants to be, for you.
... Then there's the other Nightmare. The one underneath. The one that never recovered from the wound to his skull, nor the betrayal he felt after.
That Nightmare is furious. Ragged. Desperately tired, hates everything but you. Wildly possessive - barely holding back from clawing out the eyes of anyone who looks your way. Starving for your love, but absolutely terrified of what that means. Wants to sink his teeth into you and never let go.
Generally, the first Nightmare is excellent at covering up the second, he's had centuries to practise. But you catch glimpses. That's the Nightmare who sees a courtier aggressively flirting with you at a feast, and takes them outside to beat them within an inch of their life and leave them bleeding in the snow. That's the Nightmare that drinks a little too much wine and won't let go of your wrist all evening. The Nightmare who draws you like he's trying to capture you forever in the paper; the one who pulls you closer to him in the middle of the night. The Nightmare that stares jealously at people who make you laugh, only just covering his tracks and laughing along when he realises he's being intimidating.
He's very gentle with you. He'll never raise his voice at you.
He's got a surprisingly playful side. For all his gloomy seriousness, he seems to take quite a bit of joy in teasing you. The other skeletons are jarred by the sight of you teasing him back - that's a luxury no one else in either kingdom can afford.
Killer has his stray cats. Nightmare has his beloved horse, the eighteen-hand beast that bites off hands and kicks in heads. She has an obvious soft spot for you. Only you and Nightmare can mount her.
Nightmare also has some (equally beloved) massive hunting hounds who resemble dire wolves more than dogs. They look terrifying and vicious, coming and going from the castle as they please, often disappearing as a pack into the wilderness for days. When Nightmare isn't around, alongside the usual trio of Killer Dust and Horror looking after you, you'll have some massive fluffy good boys as excellent bodyguards.
Nightmare can be... difficult. He isn't very good at expressing himself; he lies about how he feels to make you feel better, getting the truth out of him is getting blood from a stone. He's a romantic, he wants to look after you, he wants everything to be about you. He's happy when you're happy and his own wants are far too messy and scary to unpack. Gifting you another set of sapphire earrings is much easier than admitting he's massively insecure and just wants you to stay in bed with him all day, cradling his skull and telling him you care.
... All that being said... you will never know loyalty like his. Many people say they would 'wait a thousand years' for their partner.
He actually would.
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jackson!ellie falling for the girl with spectacular music taste. what does she think when passing by your open window? shit, is that the sick habit? rad. but it has trickled into a myriad of genres, now having an eclectic accumulation of records thanks to you, and your midday music sessions. on patrol, she thinks about you. in those abandoned record stores, she thinks—and dedicates time to you, fitting a couple inside her backpack she had graciously made room for. either to listen to them while daydreaming in psychedelic hues, or to give them to dina so she can deliver them to you. darkening your doorstep unannounced feels a bit invasive, and besides, you know dina way better than ellie knows you. confrontations are daunting; what would she even say?
she had no time to figure, since dina—in all her matchmaking glory—thought getting ellie out of her garage for something besides patrol duties for a change, and into your place, would ease her up to you. the path that leads there is precipiced, crowded with nerves. her cheeks are lovingly dimpled when you nudge her in the shoulder. “you never told me you play guitar!” ellie never expected you to be the epitome of romance poetry: all smiles, warming up in no time, so punctual in the eyes, she wonders what details you like about her. “u-uh, yeah. not too serious about it though,” she humbles herself. hand concealed behind her head.
yet, of course, dina never lets ellie be so soft-spoken. “come on! nobody, who isn't serious about music, writes their own songs. play something for us!” nudging with her voice from across the room.
ellie so badly wanted to punch her friend in the shoulder then. god, she shuddered at the encouragement. but, she couldn't deny you; when it was you, handing her the guitar long forgotten about from your closet, she had to indulge with a soft smile. thereon, when ellie was consumingly focused on tuning that hollow body of wood, she missed all your subtle stares of her face, or her freckled hands, whatever intrigued you to contemplate. after she played one of your favorites—receiving compliments from you for even knowing that song—you had to tell her all about your introspects. fortuitously, dina left by then.
“you're really good at it,” you said, gentler than the music of wind, with your head in her criss-crossed lap, and satin-shine eyes locking hers. anyone could tell she has been waiting for something as transient and calming as this. “you should write me a song, hm?” laying her palms on your face so delicately, afraid this moment could shatter. “would love t—i mean, yeah. sure.” still doesn't even know what to say!
the moment lives forever in the song she wrote that following night. it had to be captured; you need to know how much she fucking cherishes it.
this was meant to just be a little something something but i turned it into something i'd cry to. #kms.
#⤹𓍢ִ໋aestras footnotes#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fluff#jackson!ellie#ellie tlou#lesbian#sapphic#ellie x reader#ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie williams fic#ellie williams fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#ellie williams x fem reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#loser!ellie#elliewilliams#tlou2 au#tlou2#ellie williams tlou2#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams blurb
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Okayy so I’ve done something similar but I wanted to see it from someone else but it’s Creepy pasta room head canons !!! I don’t mind who you do but I would love to see Jack’s most of all !! Thank you <3
Creepypasta room headcanons
A/n: At the beach rn with family.. sighhh I hate the beach (._.) BUT I LOVE THIS REQUEST !!! LMK IF YALL WANR A PART TWO (^_-)☆
Includes: Jeff, Ej, Toby, BP and Nina :333
Warnings: None
「 ✦ Jeff ✦ 」
🔪✮ MESSY ASS ROOM and it does NOT smell all that great tbh 😭😭
🔪✮ Has zero shame about it too, you come to hang out in his room he'll just kick stuff to the side and shove stuff off the bed casually.
🔪✮ Posters all over the walls, most of them are of bands he enjoys (He stole most of them 💀)
🔪✮ Jeff has a knife collection so he has a little setup for them :3
🔪✮ ALSO!!!! Side headcanon he fucking loves MSI (The song "This Hurts" by them is literally him chat)
🔪✮ There's a window in his room by his bed that you can use to get to the roof of the manor, it's actually got a pretty damn good view too
🔪✮ Has a mini fridge in his room beside his bed that has drinks in it
🔪✮ Mostly energy drinks and Pepsi with like, a singular water that'll never get drank.
🔪✮ Probably doesn't have sheets on his bed.. the mattress is full of mysterious stains
🔪✮ Musty BEAST (I love him)
「 ✦ Eyeless Jack ✦ 」
👁️🗨️𖤐 Jacks room doesn't smell all that great either.. he keeps all his organs to munch on and such in there.
👁️🗨️𖤐 There really isn't much there tbh, just the essentials to have in a bedroom.
👁️🗨️𖤐 A bed, a wardrobe, chair and a desk with an old computer on it..
👁️🗨️𖤐 Oh and a few shelves with one big window that he usually keeps closed ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ)
👁️🗨️𖤐 His flooring is a grey-ish carpet and his walls are painted black
👁️🗨️𖤐 Kinda boring, ik 😭
「 ✦ Toby ✦ 」
🪓☆ Chaotically clean room, bro is a maximalist to the extreme (^o^)
🪓☆ ‼️‼️ He yearns to collect ‼️‼️
🪓☆ there's a few shelves with trinkets he's collected over the years on them (≧ω≦)
🪓☆ Posters, banners, stickers, drawings and records littered eevveryywhere on the walls and ceiling of his room (maybe this is just projecting because thats witterly my room ☝️)
🪓☆ Has the glow in the dark star stickers on his ceiling for sure
🪓☆ His room is MUCH bigger than the other proxies, has everything he needs and more
🪓☆ I mean, he has a little couch in there that has a big stuffed animal on it and a bug blanket (His hyperfixation is bugs, if you couldn't tell /silly 🪲🪲 )
🪓☆ He spends a shit ton of time in his room because it's genuinely super cool
🪓☆ Has a Tv mounted on his wall in the corner !!
🪓☆ Oh and he has a guitar in his room that he l can't play, he just thinks it looks cool o_O
「 ✦ Bloody Painter ✦ 」
🎨꩜ VERY CLEAN ROOM. AND VERY PARTICULAR ON HOW HE KEEPS THINGS.
🎨꩜ Don't mess with any of his shit without permission first and you'll be fine 🙏
🎨꩜ Has some of the normal (Ones that he doesn't use blood in, he keeps those safe.) paintings, drawings and sketches he's made on his wall behind his easel in the corner of his room :33
🎨꩜ I also think he likes to write!! So maybe some poetry is on his wall as well in that little corner ^_^
🎨꩜ Almost the entirety of his back wall is window which he loves
🎨꩜ HAS PLANTS !!!! 🌱🪴
🎨꩜ Has a nice desk to draw on with a comfortable chair. Theres a nice smelling candle on it with a few books and a lamp (●^o^●)
🎨꩜ Also owns the most??? Comfortable?? Blankets?? EVER????? Amazing textures, NO SHERPA <(`^´)>
🎨꩜ Has a drawer thingy dedicated to his art supplies (Which is also very organized, btw)
🎨꩜ HE HAS A RECORD PLAYER. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.
「 ✦ Nina ✦ 」
🪱ᰔ SHES A SCENE GIRL!!! ROOM IS SCENE!!!
🪱ᰔ Like holy shit it's so colourful ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
🪱ᰔ LOTS and LOTS of homemade stuff stuck on her walls along with various other things, there's stuff everywhere
🪱ᰔ Now you already know she owns a gir blanket and a gir backpack, like cmon (灬ºωº灬)♡
🪱ᰔ Collection of stuffed animals !! Some on her bed and some in a hanging net in the corner above her bed
🪱ᰔ Has LED lights and there's no windows in her room
🪱ᰔ Has a nice desk with a computer on it and trinkets, her keyboard lights up rainbow ☆´∀`☆
🪱ᰔ Her wardrobe and closet are FULL. She has like, so many cool clothes, belts and accessories
🪱ᰔ Convinced slender to let her paint her walls funky and cool !!
🪱ᰔ Soooo her walls are purple and she painted on with a smaller paint brush cheetah print all over them :3 (She's an icon and I love her dearly)
𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞
ᯓ★ 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐲
#asks open#creepypasta headcanons#this was actually so fun#I LOVEEE this idea#creepypasta fandom#Room headcanons#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta#jeff the killer hcs#jeff the killer headcanons#jeff the killer#x reader#ticci toby headcanons#ticci toby headcanon#ticci toby#toby rodgers#eyeless jack headcanons#eyeless jack#eyeless jack hcs#bloody painter headcanons#bloody painter#bloody painter hcs#nina the killer#nina the killer headcanons#nina the killer hcs
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what about a bsd chart for falling in love?
i can't help falling in love with you
Dazai is prone to falling in love at first sight. He sees a pretty girl, or a handsome guy, and does everything in his power to get their attention. It's different when you come along, though. You fly under his radar for a while; it's not that you're not his type, it's that he doesn't realize it at first. As he gets to know you he realizes more and more how much he likes talking to you; how attractive he thinks you are; how much he relishes in your attention. You know his reputation and try to steer clear of his charms, but you're not entirely successful. You vow not to tell him, though, because you don't want to get your heart broken. That makes the surprise of his confession all the more potent. It's proper, it's sincere, and it's real.
Akutagawa is more surprised than you are when he confesses. Love isn't something he thought he'd have the pleasure of experiencing. His life has been difficult, its been deadly, and its been dark, but meeting Atsushi made him more thoughtful and less violent, and then when he met you he felt like he was experiencing something brand new. It was exciting. It was confusing. It was beautiful. You liked him as well, of course, but you vowed not to tell him because you didn't think he had romantic interests and you didn't want to make him pull away from the little friendship you had developed. His confession is a pleasant surprise.
Poe falls in love easily. All it takes is someone being nice to him and showing interest in his writing, and he's done for. For you to regularly read his stories and genuinely praise and critique them, and for you to enjoy spending time with him even if it's spent doing nothing--it means the world to him. He confesses to you via poetry. He writes you a lovely dramatic poem about a lonely man who meets a person who brightens his world. It's obvious it's about you--his nervousness and shaking hands gives it away. You're so excited. You liked him too, a lot, but weren't sure if you should tell him yet. You're glad he took the decision out of your hands.
Nikolai and Fyodor are similar when it comes to love. They are best friends, after all (according to Nikolai anyway). They have a philosophy that some think is... wrong or outdated, but it works for them when they want to get you. It goes like this: they see you, they want you, they get you. Literally. Either of them would lure you in and capture you. He'll explain his grand love for you, and even if you escape, he'll find you again and again. He'll wear you down until you love him or it kills you. Whichever comes first.
Sigma, having only recently become a person, doesn't know what extreme emotions feel like. When he starts to fall in love with you, he thinks he's sick or dying because of the way his heart rate increases, and the way he gets shaky and nervous when you come around. He thinks you may be using an ability on him. He doesn't confront you right away, because he really doesn't want to think you'd hurt him--he really, really likes you otherwise. You're so kind and thoughtful and helpful. You don't use him and leave him like others in his life. Once he finally realizes that he's in love with you, it weighs heavily on his mind and stays there. Should he tell you? Do you feel the same? He needs to think on it a while longer...
Oda falls in love with someone very sweet and gentle. The world is a disturbing place with awful things happening every day, and you aren't nearly as aware of that as he is, and he wants to keep it that way. He wants to protect you. To take care of you. To provide for you. He knows he wont be able to do these things without connecting you to the dark part of the world that he works in, so he refrains from confessing. It's the best way to keep you safe. When you confess to him, though, he doesn't have the self-restraint to deny you. He warns you of the dangers, but tells you he wants out, and he'll get out for you. He makes a plan and you're part of it.
Atsushi having had such a dark and violent childhood is a late bloomer when it comes to love. All the other kids in the orphanage were basically his siblings, and he went straight to the ADA after leaving there, so until you come along he's never really had a crush on any real life person. He's thought people were pretty, sure, but that feeling was nothing compared to how his heart races and his knees wobble and his mouth wont cooperate with his brain any time you're around. It becomes extremely obvious to everyone that he has feelings for you, including you after a certain point, and you just think he's so damn sweet. You ask him out finally when you realize he likely wont ever be brave enough to ask you first. He nearly faints he's so excited, and nervous, when you bring it up.
Junichiro falls for someone soft and sweet and nervous after his previous relationship ends. He liked dating people bolder than him, but after a certain point it became too exhausting keeping up with that type of person please for the love of god don't tell everyone you're his sister like Naomi did. When he starts to fall for you, he's very upfront. He tells you he thinks he's falling, and you tell him back. He says he'll keep you updated after he has more time to think about it, and you say the same. You end up spending more and more time together, slowly creating an orbit around the two of you, making a space in your lives for each other. It happens so gradually and so on-pace with one another that it feels completely natural being with him.
Bram may not be the first to fall in love, but he does tell you he intends to court you before you ever reveal your feelings to him. He thinks you're pretty, and he likes when you're around, and you seem to like coming around since you're with him a lot, so he very casually tells you he would like to court you and you very happily accept his offer. He very, very quickly realizes you're something precious and special when he starts thinking about you romantically, and not long after beginning to date he tells you his feelings are very deep. It's a shock but a definite win for you.
Tachihara definitely thinks you're hot and he can tell that you like him--those Hunting Dog instincts and modifications are pretty handy--but he doesn't consider his own feelings for a long time. He leads you on, in fact, giving you attention to make you fawn over him, and then he acts cool like nothing happened, brushing you off and not making plans with you. When you try to move on, stop giving him attention, try to find someone else who's interested in you, he notices, and he hates it. It occurs to him then that he's jealous and he realizes aw fuck, I've gotta tell them how I feel.
Mushitaro is so prim and proper and charismatic--it's hard not to fall for him. You're friends for a long time without thinking much of him, but eventually one day you just realize and it starts bugging you. You may try to distance yourself to see if the feelings will go away, but they wont. While you're distant he misses you desperately and starts to puzzle together his own feelings. Eventually he comes to your house and confesses on your doorstep, saying he misses you and he cares about you so much and he at least needs to know why you're ignoring him. It feels dramatic and straight out of a rom-com.
Ranpo, as I've said before, knows as soon as you do, maybe even sooner, that you have feelings for him. Yours definitely develop before his, but he picks up on it quickly and decides that he wants to date you to see where it goes, and he makes the decision to stay with you long-term after only a couple of dates. There's no confession on your part given that he just knows, but from him the confession is sweet while still being matter-of-fact. "I've fallen for you, as I knew I would. Let's keep dating until we're sick of each other, 'kay?"
Mori lives a double life and you have no idea. If you knew he was the head of the Port Mafia there's no fucking way in hell you ever would have talked to him or gotten to know him or fallen for him or confessed to him, but you didn't know that. To you, Mori was the handsome man in a doctor's coat who came into your store every week. He chatted with you more and more each time he came in, and finally you were brave enough to give him your number, to text him, to ask him out to coffee. He say yes every time, going along with it, and only after you'd been casually dating for some time did he tell you who he really is and well, fuck, you were just about to tell him you were in love with him, so you've both got bombs to drop tonight.
Chuuya plays it so cool that you don't assume he has any sort of romantic feeling for you, but your mind is completely hung up on him to the point of you thinking that you need to be rejected already so you can move on. You tell him as much when you confess, trying to play it off as a joke when you say "dude, I think you're really hot, can you reject me so I'll stop wondering if I have a chance?" He laughs, smirks, and says "I don't think I will, actually. I'll take you to dinner tonight instead." You're flustered, unsure if he means it or not, but oh boy does he. The date goes really well, actually, and he asks to see you again, and scolds you for thinking he was out of your league. "I'm just a guy, I'm not that special."
Kunikida may seem high-strung, and yeah, he is, but there's something about him that just does it for you. Maybe it's that he's so responsible, maybe it's that he's incredibly kind and thoughtful, or maybe it's everything. You don't know, it's hard to explain, and explain you must because when you try to confess to him he asks you why and what did he do to deserve your attention? He ponders your confession for a few hours in private before he reaches out to you. You expect to be rejected, but he accepts your offer, saying you were a shock and he's trying to have a few more unexpected experiences.
Fukuzawa likes you as a person but refuses to acknowledge you romantically given your age gap. You have to confess before he'll think about you in that way. It doesn't go smoothly--you're very quickly but politely turned down. It doesn't make your crush go away, though, and you notice that Fukuzawa seems a bit skiddish around you. When you finally get fed up and ask him why he's been acting weird ever since you asked him out, he admits that he's been thinking about you a lot and thinks that maybe he made a hasty, incorrect choice the last time you spoke about this...
Ango may not be the first to fall in love in your relationship, but once he's in love he's obsessed with you. It all starts like any office romance with a new transfer from another department. He's told you're talented and promising, but he doesn't believe it until you start actually lightening his work load and making his job easier. When you start casually calling him cute and flirting with him, he doesn't know what to think. It's unprofessional, but it's also exciting and he doesn't exactly dislike the attention. When you're off the clock and ask him out on a proper date, he says yes with only minimal hesitation. It's the best decision he's ever made.
#ask answered#bsd x reader#bsd headcanons#ango x reader#ango headcanons#akutagawa x reader#akutagawa headcanons#atsushi x reader#atsushi headcanons#bram x reader#bram headcanons#chuuya x reader#chuuya headcanons#dazai x reader#dazai headcanons#fukuzawa x reader#fukuzawa headcanons#fyodor x reader#fyodor headcanons#kunikida x reader#kunikida headcanons#junichiro x reader#junichiro headcanons#mushitaro x reader#mushitaro headcanons#poe x reader#poe headcanons#ranpo x reader#ranpo headcanons#sigma x reader
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after learning that sukuna canonly speaks in an elegent and poetic way and uses old japanese terms (that sadly gets lost in translation) i can’t stop thinking of him being a literature or terminology professor😖 like this man would say romantic things to you out of nowhere and you’re like “what?🥴” and he says “what? what’s the big deal🤨”
no bc picture sukuna with glasses and a coffee in one hand, wearing an awfully smart outfit, his passion for jujutsu replaced with passion for literature, a tall mf who has an unapproachable aura in every way possible
his classes are by no means, for the weak. high demand, but high results. meaning, if you successfully endure and manage to grit your teeth through his assignments and harsh, but reasonable critique, you will have attained something very valuable from the experience, because this man expects nothing but the best from students who sit through his classes and want to learn about the art of literature + poetry
so many college students develop a crush on him, despite his difficult personality...
his lovelife is rather stagnant, however. literature professor!sukuna is too careful about who he brings into his life, being mostly uninterested in romance and the turmoil it brings to a person. he isn't fond of the idea that he could be potentially swayed so easily by one singular person. how awful would it be that your entire mood could depend on one individual? he was pretty content with spending the rest of his life as a single man, so be it.
but really, nobody is immune to the nature of falling in love... it can be something that happens at the snap of one's fingers. or it can be gradual, like a slow but firm tug that pulls you in closer towards someone. it can occur almost violently, and you might find yourself thrashing frantically against the net that you've gotten tangled up in. or, it can occur in a way that is as elegant and gentle as how one handles their most beloved books, flipping through each page without leaving as much as a crease behind...
for sukuna, all the boxes can be ticked off. falling in love with you, a fellow professor, was like experiencing all of these at once. the realisation hit like a bolt of lightning, when he caught himself... smiling? when he was reading an email of yours. he had to take off his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose for that one. there was no way. it happens this quickly?
it's hard to say whether he fell in deep from the start, or if happened more like sinking slowly, helpless, in quicksand. either way, it didn't matter whether he tried to struggle or not, he was only plummeting further.
it only hurt him when he tried to distance himself away. it only hurt him when he tried holding himself back from contacting you. it seemed like everything he did in attempt to quell the thrumming in his heart, only came back to hurt him.
it started off as emails between two professional colleagues. but eventually, it developed into polite follows onto each other's social media accounts. and almost inevitably, personal numbers were then exchanged after much talking in dms. it was very funny, seeing his empty shell of an instagram account, no posts or even a profile picture in place. such clever and well pronounced prose coming from a colourless account.
let's not get into the moment where he first experienced your touch. when handing him a novel, you brushed fingers with him, and sukuna felt a strange tingle that travelled down his spine.
many instances come- where an overwhelming desire to pull you close to him by the waist, grasps him by the throat. the conflicting compulsion and urge to wreck you, but also having the need to treat you like he would a fragile butterfly.
he goes out drinking with you, one evening. already a dangerous move.
in a soft, but a little busy area in maybe a small, cheap restaurant where the two of you are residing. both of you a little tipsy, but not drunk. tipsy enough for lingering gazes. tipsy enough for the little unnoticeable but definitely noticeable touches. tipsy enough to bring out the vulnerability to seep out of yours and his eyes.
you and him, confined in a little cosy and invisible bubble… all and every noise that's made outside of it sounds muffled.
the tilting of your head as you look at him with a flirtatious smile, the reach of your delicate fingers approaching his cheek slowly, but then retracting because you're still unsure, because you're only tipsy.
and he, with his mellow eyes, grabs onto your hand before you can get away. why don't you commit? his searing hot palm clasps over your skin, and it captures you in every way possible.
and you're doing it again. you're batting your eyelashes at him, tempting him into doing something definitively irreversible. now that he's touched you, he can't compel himself to let go. you've done it now. there's nothing he can do to stop this.
your eyes follow as he reaches for his own glasses, still holding onto your hand, grip so firm yet so gentle. sukuna takes them off. carefully places them onto the table. the next order of events should have been so painfully obvious, but it still didn't fail in making your heart pound within your ribcage.
he kisses you so feverishly. he palms your jawline with great tenderness, bringing you in impossibly closer. so enraptured, so infatuated, so sweet. he holds your hand tighter, gliding his large thumb over it.
it brings him an intense amount of joy, touching you like this. it's addicting. and he never wants to let go again. he's a selfish man at heart, already claiming you as his internally, because you enthrall him and induce such pleasure like no one before. oh, how aggravating. but also, simply delightful.
it's time he brought you home. if you've caught someone up in your web, it's only right you take responsibility. will you consume him? or will he do it first?
after this string of events, sukuna is most definitely no longer a single man. having a lover around has its merits, and its disadvantages. but never does the bad outweigh the good, at least when it comes to you.
maybe he'll write an excerpt about you. a little free verse poem. beautifully worded, but incredibly abstract. nobody could guess how it all ties back to you. not even yourself, perhaps. but that's what sukuna intended. he's satisfied with keeping this secret to himself.
you'd think having such a mellow lovelife would also transfer the same softness into his lectures, and assignments. wrong. as a professor, he's still as prickly as ever.
#this didnt meant to be so fucking long bruh but i got carried away oopsiess omg#sukuna x reader#sukuna#jjk x reader#poe answers
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Hi Mr. Gaiman,
As an accomplished author with several books under his belt, how do you know that a story is a dud for lack of a better word? I have a million ideas bouncing around inside my head at all times, and while I consider them good ideas worth pursuing, how am I sure they will make a good story?
I ask this because I have been dwelling on something one of my professors said last semester. He held a seminar on poetry and got to the topic of fiction writing, where he stated that he had just recently finished a story he had rewritten several times over the course of multiple years. Now I myself write as a hobby with a faint imagining that someone might see it in the future, and I have written a dud or two, where the plot was poorly formed and the ideas behind it just had a flaw somewhere in the base concept. Perhaps this is my youth and amateurity speaking, but I was under the impression that given enough time and care, any story could recover from that stage so long as it had not been completed yet. Ideas would need to be reworked, concepts retooled, characters redrawn, but the very basic idea could still survive in a different format.
My professor disagreed, stating that he has destroyed 400-500 page novels that he has written before upon realizing said fatal flaw. He stated that the story was in a state that it could not recover from, and that many authors encounter ideas that seem good at the time, but stink later on to such a degree that the basic premise must be thrown out. This seems like a tremendous loss of work to me. As writing is an art form, it feels somewhat similar to destroying practice sketches and 'meh' oil paintings that showcase the artist's progress. An idea that stinks today might be able to work from a different angle later on in my opinion.
I suppose after rambling my question is now this: are some ideas and concepts just not worth pursuing? Are some story concepts flawed from the get-go and impossible to save, and is there a way to tell that before writing the whole thing? Is it even possible to waste that time as you're getting in practice for the next tale?This isn't something I ever really thought about before being told in sure tones that this is how things work by someone with a degree is this, so I figured I'd ask the professional author for a second opinion. Apologies for the length of the message, especially if this is one you've received before.
I have things that have stalled and a few stories that, when they were done, went to the box in the attic rather than to anyone who could publish them (there's a whole novel there I wrote when I was 21). But mostly because I was writing serial comics, failure was not an option, and if something did fail it had done it in public for everyone to see. And I learned that some things I thought were failures had actually worked really well.
Some people are afraid of failure. Some people are afraid of success, which can also be a good reason for junking books and never showing them to anyone. As long as you pronounce them irretrievably flawed and show them to nobody, you will never be judged for them or have to deal with either success or failure.
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my tommy headcanon is that he loves poetry. when he joined the army, he didn't bring much with him from home because his home was never really a home anyway. but he did have a couple poetry books that he, uh, borrowed (stole) from a used bookstore when he was teenager that he wanted to keep close to him. so he takes those with him and spends every night reading and rereading his favorite poems. he accidentally commits every line of every poem to memory by virtue of rereading them so often, and repeating them to himself whenever he was scared or sad or otherwise distressed.
fast forward, buck is sitting on tommy's living room floor rearranging his bookshelf and comes across one of those books. he says, "hey what's this?" and tommy rattles off a portion of one of his favorite poems. he's not even trying to be impressive, not in that moment, at least. but there's something about the sight of his boyfriend holding this beloved book in his hand that stirs something raw and emotional inside him. buck stares at him, open mouthed and awed, before flipping through and finding the poem tommy just quoted. if tommy wasn't falling in love with him before, he definitely is after buck kisses him and tells him to keep going.
it becomes a thing.
buck will randomly call out a book title and a page number, and tommy will recite what's on the page word-for-word. when tommy is late for work. when they're cooking dinner. when buck is in the shower. once, when they were having sex. he did it to be funny but was definitely not laughing when tommy pressed his mouth to his ear and whispered the filthiest poem he knew. there are other moments too. vulnerable moments. when they're in bed, when either buck or tommy has had a nightmare, buck will whisper a word and tommy will search his memory for a poem that has that word in it. he'll recite it, and this will go on and on until either the sun comes up or they fall asleep again.
after the breakup, tommy pushes his poetry books to the back of his shelf. when he sees, smells, hears, tastes, or feels something that reminds him of a verse, he tries to forget it. it's his own fault for wrapping something so impermanent in his permanent love for those books, but. well. that's a lesson learned, isn't it? too bad he learned it too late.
#tommy kinard i am going to give you depth if it is the last thing i do#tv: 911#jack.txt#otp: eye of the storm
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Good day moon! Okay I normally don't do asks when it comes to yandere cause it's not my usual thing but seeing the last post you made of Yan!Sunday and his darling, that one where he just desperately wants to have that normalcy in their relationship but couldn't ever have it because of what he's done, made me think of something rather angsty; like how the darling's backlashes against his affections would probably go turn for the worst as time passes on, they don't hate him in a sense because he's really trying hard to not make them hate him and they can see that his love is real (just really fucked up) but that deep urge to hurt the person who took their freedom away is still there, it wouldn't just go away just because he loves them so much that he wouldn't dare to break them. Oh that satisfaction on seeing Sunday looking so hurt after yelling at him, they know it doesn't make them any better than him but at that point, what else is there for them to lose? Maybe in hurting him so subtly, they may find some pity in themselves for him to actually give him some semblance of love but until then, all Sunday ever receives from them are either silent treatment or backlash
Such relationship could only thrive in the worst way possible and maybe Sunday knows that but even then, he still holds out that little (delusional) hope that maybe his darling will still love him someday
Sorry for the rant, it's just that I feel for Sunday but his method will never work and it'll just deeply hurt him and his darling in the end asgfjgsfg also if it's alright, I'd request this but I'll leave it to you with how you write it, be it an imagine or anything else since I'm fine with it!
- Elys
Hello Elys! Im so sorry it took a long time for me to get to your request lol, tons of things got in the way but I remembered this request for a while.
In any case, I feel you've summed it up quite well!
Sunday isn't harsh or as brutal as I imagine him. Unlike my [i have to self advertise here, sorry HAHA] soft yan!blade, Sunday most likely wouldn't even need a bit of working around to be a softer yandere.
He's so loving, it's painful. His love is like despaired poetry for a lover who is still alive, just further than their reach. I imagine his love to be very tender, even as a yandere, if he doesn't become even softer.
And it's hard to convince him he's wrong – mainly because he already knows. But rather that's a bit distorted in his view; instead he thinks it's a wrongdoing against your nature as someone who wants to be free, but correct in the context of the situation rather than actually understanding it is absolutely wrong in general. And he doesn't budge. He's stubborn, almost infuriatingly. And instead of getting angry, I imagine he rather looks disappointed or disgruntled, which somehow does more damage/strikes more fear than anger.
And it's still heartbreaking; frustratingly for both of you, not just yourself.
You lash out, you scream, cry, wail, argue, relentlessly push and resist against him. it's your only way of getting back at him, you're sure as hell you're going to strike the hardest that way. And you relish the hurt you see in the eyes of your captor, but something more sympathetic tugs at you when you see his lovingly sad eyes. It's this cacophony of guilt, frustration, anger, and utter despair at the loss of your freedom. Sunday feels all of it, aswell, and you want to be relieved that he does – if it weren't for the fact he still wasn't letting you go.
He continually withholds your freedom from you. That single injustice to you is enough to weather your patience over time – your anger only burns hotter and hotter, pushing away any semblance of sympathy or reasoning, and it only hurts Sunday more, until you realise what you're doing, and quietly give in to sooth him for the time being. Just a little. Until that little injustice starts bothering you again. It's a toxic cycle.
And it hurts even more when Sunday tries to find normalcy in your relationship; he's trying so hard to be your lover, to hold you gently and bathe you with care, to dry you off and still love you after seeing you bare. He wants to come home and see you smile, be happy, elated that he's there, just as he feels when he sees you. But that's not what happens. His delusions and flimsy expectations are shattered the moment he steps into the dimly lit room, your form refusing to even look at him. The silence is strangely stronger than his hopes.
Anyways, that's all i can think of at the moment. I love angst yandere sunday time.
#moonink#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr yandere#yandere hsr#hsr x gender neutral reader#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#hsr x reader#hsr x male reader#yandere honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail x gender neutral reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai x reader#yandere honkai star rail#hsr sunday x you#hsr sunday x reader#sunday hsr#hsr sunday#honkai star rail sunday#honkai star rail x you#hsr sunday x y/n#yandere sunday x reader#sunday x y/n#sunday x you#sunday x reader#sunday honkai star rail#yandere sunday x you#yandere sunday#yandere
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Jealousy, jealousy
Poly!Jegulus×Reader
I know it may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I was inspired and...this is the result.
Hope you like it 💗
English isn't my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.
Regulus Black was a possessive prick.
Or so Barty said.
“Merlin, didn't you notice the way he was looking at that guy ? The bloke is lucky he is still alive”
“Stop looking like a rabid dog, blondie is not even looking in Potter's direction”
“I swear you can't just curse a random dude for talking to Y/N, Reggie. He was just asking her about the books for Salazar's sake !”
So yeah, Regulus was apparently a possessive guy.
Then why hadn't you nor James ever noticed or even witnessed it ?
Barty and Evan always told you and James how Regulus would get fired up as soon as he noticed someone just as breathing in your and the Griffyindor's direction.
But both you and James thought it absurd.
Regulus Black ?
The always calm and collected headboy of Slytherin ? The guy with the stone cold stare and the stoic expression ? The same quite boy that liked to read and write poetry, looking at the stars and sleeping in on Sundays ?
Jealous ?
You and James had a good laugh.
If you had to consider one of you as the ‘jealous one’ most of the times that would've been James. The boy couldn't go a second without yours and Regulus eyes on him, pouting his way through it to get the attention of his partners, and sometimes sending dirty looks to people who were being a bit too insistent and pushy.
But it never got beyond that.
Other times it was you even. Having two of the most handsome boys in Hogwarts as your boyfriends was fun, until random girls tried to slip Amortentia in their cups at dinner, and a weird green concoction in yours.
Then it wasn't fun anymore.
The points deducted from your House were definitely worth seeing the two girls jinxed to puke slugs for a week.
So it was always either you or James. Never Regulus.
He was always calm, put together and, weirdly you must say, extremely affectionate.
So Barty's words didn't really make sense to you and your Gryffindor boyfriend.
Until that night.
Gryffindor had won a match against Ravenclaw. One of the biggest and toughest matches of the last three years (or so James said), so partying was mandatory.
For a night the Gryffindor common room was opened to everyone who wanted to have fun, relax, and possibly and most importantly, get wasted.
The room was full.
People from every house were there, the sound of muggle music filling your ears (David Bowie, was it ? Salazar, Remus sure talked a lot about that guy).
After getting a drink you spotted some of your housemates talking to Remus and Lily. Dorcas, Pandora, Barty and James were there too.
You walked up to them holding your, now full, glass of firewhisky mixed with some sort of juice. Courtesy of Sirius.
“You guys keep hogging my boyfriend here. I wasn't even able to congratulate him on his victory” You said, arms going to circle James’ neck, careful not to spill your drink, as you left a kiss in his lips.
“You did so good up there” you whispered on his lips before smacking another small kiss on them and letting go.
“Did I ? Must've been my lucky charms” he said grinning, hands still on your waist as he took in the sight of you in Gryffindor colors. A rare occurrence, happening only when the match was a big one.
In all honesty both you and Regulus would've rather died than ever wear red and gold, but James needed to know that the two most important people in his life were there for him, so you made an exception.
Well, that, and the jumpers you always stole from him that were too big on both you and Regulus, but they smelled of James and they were a lifesaver in the nights where you couldn't sneak out to pay him a visit.
“Speaking of” James lifted his eyes to look around the room, scanning it in search of a particular mop of ebony curly hair and stormy eyes “where's Reggie ?”
“Was talking with Evan at the drink table. Said he would be here in a minute” You answered, taking a sip of your drink.
“Good, I have to thank both my charms. Can't miss one” James said with a goofy smile, one that could only be considered lovestruck.
The same kind of smile that curled your lips, too.
“Don't think you'll have to wait for long” added Barty with a smirk on his face, trying to hide it with the rim of his cup as he took a sip.
You and James shared a look of confusion.
Suddenly a voice spoke up.
“Hey, James. Nice match you had up there ! I think it was really thrilling-”
Cole Aleberstine, sixth year Hufflepuff, came to congratulate James as well.
You knew him seen as you had Divination together. He was a quiet and shy guy, and you were almost sure he had a crush on James.
Which was hilarious considering the whole school knew James was a taken man. A very taken man.
You never considered him a problem, he actually looked like he was terrified most of the time. His little infatuation with James was never acted upon.
You actually found it rather endearing.
But apparently not everyone thought the same.
The poor guy couldn't even finish talking when a louder than usual “Baby” was heard, and suddenly a flash of black hair and gray eyes was in front of the Gryffindor chaser, surging on his tiptoes, fisting James’ shirt in his hand and yanking the boy towards him in a hungry kiss.
James let out a yelp in surprise, and then proceeded to literally melt in Regulus' arms and at the mercy of his lips.
Oh, you knew that feeling all too well. The way Regulus kissed like he was starved, like it was the end of the world and only the taste of your lips could save him.
Yes, Regulus Black was a hell of a kisser.
And you were sure James was in heaven right now.
Being used to it, you didn't have much of a reaction (the butterflies in your stomach begged to differ), but the flabbergasted faces of your friends were pure gold.
Even Remus and Sirius, who were more than used to your and the other two boys' antics, were left speechless.
You let out a snicker.
When you turned around Cole was gone, no trace of him whatsoever.
Regulus then parted from James’ lips and turned his head, looking at the empty place that was previously occupied by the Hufflepuff.
The most imperceptible smirk peaked on his lips, like he had won the lottery or something.
Your eyebrows slightly furrowed.
What ?
And then it clicked.
The way Regulus was definitely at the drink table before Cole showed up and then, as soon as he opened his mouth, he stormed there like a fury, kissing James like his life depended on it, like he wanted to swallow him whole, like he wanted everyone to know that the Gryffindor chaser was his.
A grin spread on your lips.
Oh, Barty was right.
Regulus Black was a jealous prick.
And he made sure that everyone knew by claiming you and James.
And only then your brain realized that all the time he was extra handsy in public, which was very uncharacteristic of him, he was trying to literally mark the territory.
A part of your brain wanted to find it a little excessive, but the other, more prominent, part found it extremely attractive.
Barty sent a knowing look in your direction.
The obvious ‘I told you so’ written on his face made you shake your head lightly in complete disbelief.
“Damn, I must've been really good then”
Said James, who looked thoroughly snogged, lips plump and glasses crooked on his nose.
“You were alright I guess” Regulus said, trying to appear as unimpressed as possible, but the sweet smile tugging at his lips betrayed him.
James loved when Regulus was a little mean to him, all in good fun, of course, and it was entertaining for you to watch.
“I should start playing Quidditch too if this is the treatment we get from our boyfriend” you added, a playful offended tone in your voice.
“No need for that, my love” Regulus said with a proper smile this time, detaching himself from James, picking you up and twirling around once before kissing you softly but just as eager.
Funny thing ? You could still taste James on his tongue and it made your head spin.
His lips were like silk, molding perfectly with yours as you let out a content sound.
“Yeah, better not. I'd probably end up with a broken bone every two weeks”
You said chuckling and a little breathless, as he put you down gently, hands still on your hips.
“I already have one boyfriend with enough broken bones, I definitely don't need my girlfriend doing that too” he said as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“But- I mean, if you want to you can of course”
He added.
“I was joking Reggie, don't worry” you said smiling, endeared by him “I definitely like it more when my feet are on the ground”
“Pity” interrupted James “You would look so hot riding a broom with the wind in your hair” he stated, drinking from his cup.
“I'd say I ride enough things already, don't you think Jamie ?” you said with a smirk and a raised brow.
James proceeded to choke on the alcohol in his mouth, while Regulus’ cheeks tinted a splotchy red.
“Ok, enough” said Sirius, his face distorted in horror “there are certain information that we really don't need to know”
“Speak for yourself, Black. I wanna know everything”
Barty said, wiggling his brows.
Regulus threatened to make him bald for the rest of his life.
Laughter roared, and the night proceeded as smoothly as a party at Hogwarts could ever go.
#marauders#marauder's era#regulus black#james potter#regulus x reader#james x regulus#james x reader#sirius black#remus lupin#barty crouch junior#harry potter#polyamory#lily evans#evan rosier#pandora rosier#dorcas meadowes#marlene mckinnon
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Hot on the heels of my last list, here's my ranking of how good the Sinners are in bed
12. Gregor
Don't. Forbidden. Not allowed. No sex for bug man. Theoretically he's fine, but the risks of spontaneous mutation are too great.
11. Yi Sang
Maybe he's on the ace spectrum. Maybe he's just super depressed. Either way, he's not interested. He'll gladly read poetry with you, but physical contact isn't on the table.
10. Faust
Before you even get started, you'll notice that she's 100% checked out. Total dissociation. It's not trauma or anything, probably. She's just distracted by the group chat. Even if you can get her in the moment, it's gonna be super awkward knowing every Faust in every universe is judging your performance.
9. Sinclair
Is he even old enough?
Okay...so, i just confirmed he's 20. That said, I doubt he has ever even fooled around with anyone. He has enthusiasm, but that's about it. He'll fumble around for a while, apologize, and eventually, out of desperation, try that one thing he heard on the schoolyard (to disastrous results).
8. Ryōshū
She knows what she's doing...unfortunately. She's not one to ease you into things. DESOS (deep end sink or swim). You're not walking out of this intact. There will be scars, both physical and psychological. Don't stick it in crazy, is what I'm saying.
7. Outis
Outis is the exact opposite problem from Ryōshū. Super vanilla, missionary only. Thinks a light slap on the rear is "getting freaky." The only thing that puts her at the top of the "don't" half of the list is that sex is actually happening and no one is going to therapy over it.
6. Rodion
Is it possible to fuck sarcastically? She's good but she waaay oversells it. You're barely moving and she's throwing her head back and moaning like a porn star. It makes you super self-conscious.
5. Don Quixote
Like Rodion, but a bottom and sincere about it. You barely have to do anything, and she's completely incoherent with lust. She's had three orgasms before you get your pants off. The only problem is, with all that screaming and crying and squirming and begging, there's not a whole lot that she can actually do for you. Hey, at least one of you is having the time of their life.
4. Heathcliff
An attentive and passionate lover who is gonna make you feel special. Though he tends to be maddeningly gentle, there's still a hunger underneath the surface. Give him permission and he can really unleash the beast.
3. Ishmael
A dominant and assertive lover who knows what she wants and is going to get it. She likes some fight too, so you're both gonna walk away with scratches and bruises (though nothing like with Ryōshū). She's also excellent in the aftercare, very affectionate and snuggley. I could probably swap her and Heathcliff, so this was a matter of personal taste.
2. Hong Lu
He has memorized every single book on the subject. He knows things that you can't even imagine. His empathy means he knows exactly what you need before you even know it, and he can perform perfectly. The only drawback is that, despite his vast knowledge and flawless technique, it's still kinda rote and performative. Hell of a performance, though.
1. Meursault
Mersault.
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