#it's not my responsibility to inspire you by making my suffering aesthetically pleasing

[auntie-doom]

You are loved. You don't have to have easily packaged, cute, or pleasant symptoms. You are loved.

People on the internet treat autism like it's some cute, childish thing, but like, autism and the trauma that comes with it have literally lead me to severe alcoholism, anger issues and a criminal record.

This post goes out to autistic addicts and autistic people who have personality disorders and autistic people who have hurt people during meltdowns and autistic people who have been in trouble with the law and autistic people who have been diagnosed with every mental illness under the sun only to find out it was autism all along.

You are loved. Your trauma and your reactions to it do not make you a bad person.

[cancerjupiter]

astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 1)

neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.

neptune in the 1st house

tends to be the kind of person who waits and sees, but your outward behavior doesn’t begin to describe what goes on inside. you feel connected to your environment because you’re aware of subtle energies, you pick up impressions from others they’re usually unaware to be giving. you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of knowing (beyond a verbal level) what others’ unconscious motivations are, what’s hidden behind their civility. you tend to be very idealistic, preferring to live in harmony: peaceful non-demanding relationships and quiet and aesthetically pleasing surroundings. you choose to think kindly of others, whether they reciprocate or not; your sensitivity gives you a natural compassion. you can be most charming, often whimsical, sometimes romantic, and usually empathic. you seem approachable and often receptive to a degree others find startling and deeply gratifying (if not a little scary lol). you want life to be perfect for yourself and others, and your desire for a better world can be channeled into artistic creative pursuits, social work, or mere daydreaming.

you often struggle with personal identity. you may be so open to others that you pick up their moods without realising it. you tend to mimic, unconsciously, the strong characteristics of the last person you were with. don’t become an emotional sponge; define your emotional boundaries and accept it is necessary for your growth to establish a firm identity. another thing i noticed about you is that you guys don’t mind suffering; no, i’m not saying you don’t hate it (everyone does!) but you seem to accept it when you don’t have to. you put others first and feel that it’s best to sacrifice your own well-being than to be responsible for someone else’s suffering.

there’s almost always a strong awareness of and interest in spiritual energies with this placement. you may actually be psychic, whether or not you’re comfortable with the ability. you may deeply religious, although not conventionally since institutions don’t satisfy you; you feel at home with a belief system you know, from personal experience, exists. your lack of interest in the real world can lead you into seriously bad habits like drug abuse or eating disorders and due to your dislike of physical activity, this can quickly damage your (often sensitive) health. alternatively, this placement can also lead to arrogance, depending on the sun and midheaven placements/aspects.

neptune in the 2nd house

you tend to be idealistic with the use of money and personal resources, not terribly attached to them. you look at them as temporary and although sad to part with something you own, you can let it go where others simply cannot. there’s an indifferent attitude towards finances, income and etc. some of you are v generous and will give things away to people who can truly admire it, believing nothing truly belongs to anyone. this outlook satisfies you greatly, making you easygoing but also easily being taken advantage of. this sort of gives you a fairy-tale attitude towards your money - it’s either always there when needed, or simply one of the world’s idiotic, materialistic preoccupations. you may be unpractical or simply forgetful with resources; not willing to sit down and figure what’s the best buy and choosing to go with intuition. purchases usually go by what you want rather than what you can afford (my friend has no idea how much is on her bank acc and doesn’t care to figure it out. she just doesn’t care lol). you should actually read the small print in contracts and not trust just anyone with your money.

alternatively, there may be a strong tendency to overvalue material things (neptune = beliefs in the house of money and possessions), specially if there’s an earth emphasis in the chart, making you inclined to putting great care and time into upkeep. you usually want your things to look aesthetic™️. 

there’s also a strong creative tendency; it may be expressed in various forms but it will certainly be inherent. you need at least periodic access to music and inspiration, including the outdoors where you can soak up peace and serenity. since the 2nd house also relates to sensual pleasures, you probably expect these to provide a kind of ultimate ecstasy. in short, this placement forces you to face up to your tendencies to create illusions about money, possessions, sex, or creative pursuits. don’t expect more from them than they can provide.

neptune in the 3rd house

on one level, this placement can confuse and scatter the brain, giving it vagueness and disorganized thinking. sometimes, however, the mind exhibits uncanny insights into the subtleties of the environment. you sense the hidden nuances and meanings behind what’s being said. what you miss in terms of precise analytical ability, you can by being able to view the big-picture more clearly. there’s a danger to this however; your desire to view what’s beautiful and ideal around you can give a kind of selective perception in which only the good is seen and what doesn’t fit into that is ignored.

you don’t usually feel comfortable expressing yourself through normal channels of communication. what you have to say can be better demonstrated through dance, poetry, song, or picture (painted or taken). there’s often a shyness in the early school situation, which manifested in mental illness (my friend has dyslexia and this was a hard time for her) or simply confusion.

since this house also rules siblings, there may be some sacrifices to be made in relation to them; they may be a problem or have difficulties. since neptune fuses the boundary between the self and others, you may feel you’re responsible for their problems or everything which happens in the immediate environment (also ruled by the 3rd). if you don’t have siblings, you probably longed for the companionship of it, an idealized vision of what a sibling is. i also noticed this neptune placement showing exceptional ability as teachers - specially working w children who have learning difficulties. they can understand ways to communicate with and understand the child better than anyone else.

neptune in the 4th house

i have this one and it’s a loaded position: an unconscious planet in an unconscious house. to feel safe in a secure nest is fundamental, though that’s often quite unconscious. your idea of haven includes a lovely home, w lots of food and someone who will take care of your needs. there’s an assumption that the mother, early home life and emotional security all need to be perfect. that is, all needs will be met with ease, and there’s no upset or disappointment in these areas. the mom or other primary caregiver, is supposed to be there when needed, regardless of other commitments. the illusions connected to the 4th house (remember, neptune refers to illusions which must be exposed and released) are deeply intimate; and any threat to them is profoundly threatening to you.

neptune in the 4th generally has to overcome the strong need for the nurturing parent to not only be perfect but to continue being so into your adulthood. you have great difficulty separating from them; you may never fully do it. it doesn’t matter if they actually lived to your expectations, for their importance is in your head - the parent you idealized or pretended they were. sometimes, however, this desire focuses on the home rather than the parent. in this case, the childhood home was either perfect, or mysterious and elusive. you can react by trying to re-create the exact same nest.

with this placement, nurturing yourself becomes the ultimate value, a way to find supreme satisfaction. you can also make the most amazing caretakers and companions. your need to nurture others is a complicated expression of your own hunger to be taken care of; you give too much and eventually become resentful when no one appreciates your (not asked for) sacrifices. you might also project neptunian traits onto your parent; they may be v spiritual and loving, vague and confusing, or even absent, so you were left w only a fantasy of what they could - and should - have been. they might have also been a victim (similar to pisces moon) and you might’ve felt obligated to save them. 

you feel like caring involves being swallowed up completely, and it’s something you either constantly yearn or are terrified of. you also feel if your (unrealistic) emotional security needs aren’t met, you won’t survive the disappointment (you did, and you will again). neptune in the 4th can make the most patient and loving parents, w a strong sense of their emotional bonding and spiritual responsibilities. you will do more to create an ideal parent/child relationship than anyone else and constantly remind others of how important it is to strive to be the best parent one can be.

neptune in the 5th house

this combo leads to a definite charisma, an aura of charm and power and importance (timothee, angelina, mlk, drake, etc). it’s a strong indication of some kind of acting ability, though it may be used as a teacher or a salesman rather than on stage. you’re likely to work in some area where applause and respect can be immediate and experienced personally. you need this; neptune undermines the self-confidence so you depend on others’ feedback to measure your worth. this can be a deadly dependency because even the highest praise and respect can truly fulfill the yearning to be loved unconditionally, only provide a temporary high, making you forever vulnerable.

some of the illusions related to this placement include the need to have perfect relationships and children, and the perfect artistic creation. whenever one expects perfection, they’re doomed to disappoitment, although the process of disillusionment may be needed to rethink your outlook on life. you may expect your love life to provide a complete sense of fulfillment. you can make a v romantic partner, the type to love cheesy romantic things and music, who can surround your lover with utmost affection. however, you might also expect them to sense your wishes and always meet them; or expect yourself to always be sensitive and caring at al times, regadless of your moods and/or needs.

you need to re-evaluate your tendency to romanticize lovers instead of seeing them for who they are. you may also harbor illusions towards children, your own or all, which hamper your ability to deal w them realistically and effectively. there’s a difficulty in developing a strong sense of self-worth, or maybe fancying yourself to be far more important than you really are. this placement is associated w a great deal of inspired creativity, however, and if other chart factors support it, it indicates exceptional artistic talent. with humility and self-awareness, you can use your magnetism to uplift those who have lost all confidence.

neptune in the 6th house

w this placement, neptune is in its polar opposite, since 6th house relates to virgo and neptune relates to pisces. this house is about the world as it is and how to manage it in a day-to-day basis. neptunian energy is the opposite: it yearns for and seeks to unite w the cosmos, which transcends this world. how can these two work this out?

when they’re well integrated in the chart, you can dream of neptune while using the practical 6th house skills to plan and organise the dream you wish to make true some day. it can direct the neptunian energy to envision something better, prettier, more creative and inspiring. without this, the 6th house is merely a housekeeping unit - a drive to organise and plan, but for what purpose? neptune supplies it with purpose and the house repays it with practical skills, usually related to some artistic work.

however, if the energies are at odds, there is the need to dream vs. the need to be practical and realistic. you feel a strong need to busy yourself w details and make everything as efficient as possible, tidying up and even criticising others (negative virgo energy). you may expect far too much from others and yourself, never able to say “no” when more work is piled on you. another expression is not being able to keep your shit together; you forget, are disorganized, feel tired and drained of energy, get sick often, or feel generally unfulfilled. my friend, for example, often seeks jobs for its glamorous aspects, only to get swamped by details and routine. 

[reviewting]

The Silver Skates

Hello! Hello! Hello! We stan period drama in this house, so when I found this movie at midnight after my vaccine shot, I wasted no time watching it. I mean, come on! Who is going to pass up the opportunity to watch an aesthetically pleasing movie? The only complaint I have for the movie is the ending is too short to my liking ehehehe. I just want to see more! Let's skate into the review ;)

p.s: this is the first Russian-speaking movie that I've ever watched and it was a great ride. I might need to find more Russian period drama films after this.

Score

Storyline          : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (7/10)

Plot                  : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (9/10)

Pace                : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (8/10)

Acting              : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (10/10)

Rewatch value : ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (10/10)

Storyline

Matvey is the son of a lamplighter, he works hard trying to make honest money for his dad's treatment. His dad is suffering from TB and judging from the way he coughs (a lot), it's not looking very great, either. You know what they say about period drama films and coughs, the odd of survival is zero to none for the coughing party.

One day, Matvey has to deliver a pie (in 20 minutes on foot) to a rich guy's house but is late because there's a roadblock. He stood up for himself when being treated poorly by the boss and that made him getting fired. At least he stood up for himself, kudos to Matvey. Anyway, because his dad is sick, Matvey needs money and need it quick. There's this doctor in Germany that can save his dad's life. While trying to find a job, he came across this group of pickpockets. I was kinda suspicious but turns out they're a good bunch, especially Alex (love him). Well, as good as thieves can be.

The first day he joins the group, they make him jump into the balcony of a rich family and caught by Alisa, the daughter. There's a little incident but everyone was safe. Anyway, Matvey and Alisa meet again at a skating ball party where Alex and Matvey are trying to steal every shiny thing from the partygoers. Alisa knows about this very calmly blackmailed him into helping her with something. After this encounter, the story of love and friendship begins.

Characters

I like Matvey, a lot. He is responsible, loyal, and just overall a good human being. And husband material, I might add. At some point in the movie, I said to myself, I want a husband like him. Like, damn. He's so good to Alisa, I want to cry. Yo, tell me where to find a husband candidate like that!

Alex, the chief of thief is odd but overall an awesome human being. I think he's cool and he cares about his friends. He taught Matvey the art of pickpocket and is the one that has faith in him first.

Alisa is a very likeable character too, she just wants to learn science and become a scientist to help people and I'm all for that. I loooove her voice so much, it's so soft and calming, wow. Her dad was kinda a dick at first but I think deep down he loves his daughter.

The prince, Arkadiy, is complicated. He is supposed to be the villain in the movie, but I didn't think he was evil enough to be a villain until I watch the last 30 minutes of the movie, at least. Also, he never really hurt Alisa, I just think that they're not a good match.

All in all, I love the cinematography, the cast, and the plot. I like the skating and thieving aspects, it was so fun to watch. The storyline itself was okay, since I've probably watched too many romeo-and-juliet-inspired movies. Please watch the movie!

Where to watch

Netflix

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Morality-Focused Frameworks Of Discussion As Acts of Control

This is a post in response to a larger conversation I’ve been having with @eshusplayground. I have a perspective that I think would be really relevant to the conversation but I also don’t want to derail the specific focus of the following posts she’s been making recently.

(Trigger Warning For Abuse Discussion and Brief Mentions of Rape)

---

So I’m in the Hellraiser fandom. More specifically, I’m a Pinhead/Kirsty shipper.

For those of you that don’t know, Pinhead is a demonic torturer from hell who’s design is inspired by the BDSM community. Characters who open a magical puzzle box have unknowingly given themselves away to his violent underworld community of eternal torment and depravity. Hellraiser is a film about romantic and sexual horror, and there’s quite a lot in there about abuse and trauma. Kirsty is a traumatized person, and in my personal opinion, very likely a CSA victim.

And I ship these two characters together.

So the subject matter of my particular fandom is extremely intense and niche and complicated to navigate, although YMMV (I have no trouble with this franchise, but I cannot really handle GOT or American Horror Story, for example). After I grew interested in Hellraiser and integrated into it’s fandom, my perspectives about the way we have conversations about villainous characters started to have a major shift.

I often see people have these intense conversations (and arguments) about where a particular character exists on a moral scale, with the subtext (or outright text) that if they tip too far one way or another, they can be rendered unworthy of their own subgroup of fans within their own fandom. People who love those characters or find them shippable are then subject to moral judgements.

So how does one apply such logic to a psychosexual torture demon?

The answer is you can’t.

The frameworks people online use to have these discussions do not make any sense when talking about my fandom. Hellraiser is a dark horror fairytale presenting disturbing, surreal images and behaviors in order to discuss complex and difficult experiences and perspectives. The monsters within it, like Pinhead, are more metaphor than anything.

Now, my follower count is too low and my fandom is too niche for me to really be on the receiving end of a lot of the cruelty that manifests online about the moral validity of the fiction I enjoy. That said, between the anti-kink TERFS and the younger folks involved in purity culture on this site, I can imagine exactly what it would look like. You know what they would look like.

“You’re an Abuse Apologist!”

“You’re an Abuse Fetishist!”

“You’re reinforcing sexism!”

“he’s an irredeemable torturer, you’re probably okay with literal real world rape lmao uwu”

“This is bad kink representation and you’re complicit in the abuse real men do to women because you like this!”

Now, setting aside the fact that the canon lore context of Pinhead involves him having a human soul brainwashed by a monster god to become what he is, and is also in a roundabout sense “redeemed” in canon, I think most people utilizing this kind of framework would assume that I believe Pinhead can be redeemed in the way online Discourse (tm) means it, because that’s how we talk in fandom about the villains we really like.

I do not want to redeem Pinhead. I don’t think he even needs redeeming. I don’t even see value in that conversation at all. Redemption is not a concept that makes sense for what he is, or what he could become as a character. The framework of Pinhead as a Real-World-Equivalent Human Male Abuser who Cannot Be Redeemed From His Actions would inevitably dominate all conversation, regardless of the fact that it is inherently incorrect and detrimental to real, robust literary analysis of the narrative he exists within and how brilliantly it actually interacts with male on female abuse as a subject. By nature of it’s gross oversimplification and misrepresentation, It ruins the potential for greater, more nuanced and complex conversations.

And that’s the thing: my engagement with this particular story and it’s characters has a lot to do with the potential in the narrative to examine how trauma interacts with love, desire and gender politics. Hellraiser has a very unique way of exploring that kind of subject through a storytelling aesthetic that appeals to me (horror/fairytale, gothic romance, etc).

This is about to get personal, so strap the fuck in.

I am the victim of gendered abuse, in that I had an emotionally abusive step father and sexism was absolutely a factor in why that manifested the way it did. I am also a second hand victim of gendered abuse, in that my biological father was a serial stalker and rapist, and other male abusers (or just self-centered family members) caused severe emotional destabilization in my childhood. I grew up viewing adult men as unstable, selfish children. My family endured a lot, and I came to resent the men in my mother’ life for not taking on the role of protector and nurturer when she needed them most. I had discovered the great lie of traditional masculinity: in the face of real crisis, grown men were not protectors. They did not hold together the domestic space. They abused or faltered and abandoned us. This was a repeated pattern among several men in different roles. I was often left picking up all the pieces, taking on roles as a child that these men could not. I had to have strength they did not.

My experience of desire for romantic intimacy with men and men in roles of stable, nurturing authority now inherently involves a jumbled emotional soup of fear, pain, and a deep longing that comes from a place of feminine vulnerability, a desire to be taken care of instead of being the caretaker.

The narrative of Hellraiser pushes a lot of buttons for me. It speaks to my own trauma experiences in a very specific way. In an effort to further that conversation, I’m trying to create a piece of art (a fic) inspired by the deeply personal feelings this film gives me.

For me, Pinhead represents the Jungian shadow masculine, a simultaneous mix of fear and desire, the potential for suffering and pleasure, and everything in between. These experiences are inherently intertwined for me. And Kirsty’s experiences mirror many of my own.

In other words, in order for me to get out of Hellraiser what I get out of Hellraiser, Pinhead has to be exactly what he is, and everything that he is. Which includes monstrosity. Which includes the potential for change. His place in the narrative must fully, truly embody this conversation I need to have with masculinity, which inherently involves painful, scary things.

Anybody demanding that I either denounce my interest in him as morally offensive because he’s a monster in the full sense of the word (and not just the aesthetic one like what is currently trending in Monster Boyfriend fandom), or force a traditional redemption arc upon him as if he were a real life human person who must repent for his real life sins, are essentially saying that I am not allowed to engage with this work of fiction in a way that is transformative for me. And that’s very unfortunate, because honestly, I think my perspective is so much more dynamic and has so much more to offer.

This is not just about basic catharsis. This is not even a power fantasy about emotionally transforming a powerful (white) dude, or “bad boy” fantasies, both standard arguments for villain stanning that feels like it has never truly represented me or the complexity of my experiences and interests. This is a full-on conversation and act of self expression I want to have through art about the experience of fear and trauma when dealing with men as a woman who desires men.

And I don’t think a person has to be traumatized in order to want to engage with this type of fiction. I want to be clear that my experience is not a justification for my interest (I do not need to justify myself), it is an example of a perspective that gets erased by the framework of these conversations.

To me, the framework of moral validity for enjoying fictional villains and monsters and whatever you please feels incredibly stifling to the complex, dynamic ideas and analysis that I want to engage in, because I, and many people I know, are consistently pressured to structure their thoughts with this framework as the only acceptable baseline of discussion. This is so ubiquitous that when people I’ve known have tried to engage in ways that diverge from that framework, the responses they get are outright confused or direct the conversation right back to the original framework they tried to avoid. Complex conversation gets steamrolled.

Somewhere in the conversation we were all having about acknowledging and discussing abuse and oppression, and acknowledging troubling patterns in media which reinforce the normalization of abuse and opression, some people decided that there was a very serious moral discussion to be had regarding the mere act of liking things which involve dark subject matter and complex, or even monstrous characters. They now argue that there are very clear cut, simple moral frameworks for A) telling stories and B) enjoying stories, and most importantly, that this moral framework is a valid justification for the social treatment and silencing of certain people.

A framework, by the way, which I think is actually not functionally a framework, because like the toxic American fundamentalist christian groups it’s thinking is structured from, it does not account for the vastly diverse moral landscape within it’s own space. There is no objectively consistent body of knowledge anybody is working from, because morals are derived from the human experience, which is inherently subjective.

Interestingly, no where does this have more of an impact than with marginalized people, and people like me, who want to express something deeper and more meaningful in the conversation about abuse and oppression than what this framework really offers us. To be honest, The more I see this kind of conversation making the rounds, the clearer it becomes that it’s a means of control and power game playing. It’s not about morality, but about how morality can be leveraged in order to silence truly diverse and nuanced perspectives and uphold people’s sense of self-comfort. It is a means of supplanting more convenient and easily digestible understandings of these highly complex subjects that require more intensive, thoughtful engagement, especially when it gets challenging. This kind of rhetoric absolves people of making room for complex and diverse experiences, and reinforces an (at face-value) easy to follow set of moral rules of how we are all allowed to think and feel.

The implication of all of this is that if we all adhere to the One True (alleged) Moral Framework of Fandom Engagement, then we will somehow come out on the other side with all the Good People having a Great Time having Squeaky Clean Fun. And I don’t think I should have to tell you at this point how stifling and disturbing the implications of that kind of mentality really are.

 Quite frankly, I think a lot of us are very tired of constantly speaking on other people’s terms.

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 Haikyuu!! Week 2020 | Day 3 』

· Sept. 27th → Irresistible Force ·

Characters: Karasuno team

Prompts: A. favourite team + B. crossover/AU

Tags/warnings: Haikyuu!! (anime), PG, fluff, crack, a teensy bit of angst (because who doesn't love a sad superhero backstory), headcanons, AU, superheroes, HaikyuuWeek2020

A/N: Again, I love all the teams and didn't want to pick, but life is cruel, so here I am. This is headcanons about my fav team (Karasuno) in an AU (superheroes). I was thinking of a Hero Association, kind of like in 'The Boys'? But less corrupt... Maybe more like in 'One Punch'? I think you get me.

All of my Haikyuu Week 2020 posts will be SFW, but I have NFSW content on my blog if that butters your biscuit. Feel free to check it out! Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ Imo~

Karasuno / Superhero Association AU

×

☆ Sawamura Daichi ☆

Powers: nigh invulnerability, super strength, enhanced healing

If he's not the ordinary cop that somehow befriends the heroes I was tempted then he's definitely the leader of the superhero group

Kind of like Superman in the old-school Justice League, just not as OP lol

Looks damn good is spandex those thighs *sweats*

Cape!! so ✨majestic✨

Probably wears dark-ish, neutral colours with a dash of blue

A bit serious. Not the kind of hero to go around making quips all the time, but will make light of his own suffering like Captain America

Takes younger heroes under his wing like the true Dadchi he is

Strong moral compass. Unbreakable

Won't hesitate to lay down his life for others

Who am I kidding. He's basically Captain America with a cape

Poster-boy for the Hero Association

×

☆ Sugawara Koushi ☆

Powers: telekinesis

A soft, pearly aesthetic with his suit, hair and skin. Lots of white and silver

A favourite among the ladies he's just too pretty, damm it T T

Very plucky and adorable

People in the vicinity will literally faint when he goes all serious to concentrate and use his powers

Has a duo move with Daichi where he literally throws him like a missle YEET

Has the most followers on Twitter and TikTok and his fans can be pretty nuts

Has a perfume line named after him and models for the adverts

Will smile like an angel right before bringing a building down on top of you fuck, I find this one really funny

×

☆ Azumane Asahi ☆

Powers: regeneration, enhanced stength

Kind of like Wolverine or Deapool but, like, much, much softer on the inside uwu

Wears green and black

Messed up big time back in the day and dropped off the grid out of guilt some people died :(

Was convinced to come back when his old teammates finally found him again because they needed his help in a crisis

Literally shed tears of relief when heroes and citizens alike welcomed him back instead of hating him mah heart *sniffs*

Can withstand seemingly anything and fully heal within a matter of days

Doesn't know the full extent of his powers himself. How exactly do one test it? 🤔

Still has to psych himself up for a fight, though big softy, really

×

☆ Shimizu Kiyoko ☆

Powers: electrokinesis, flight

Powers like Storm from X-Men, and kicks ass like Wonder Woman

Refuses to wear a revealing suit, but looks bomb af anyway

Kiyoko = absolute queen

One of the most powerful heroes, but doesn't throw her weight around unless she's kicking bady-guy booty

Stella gynamast, and has mastered several martial arts

Can literally throw a guy three times her size, all without any strength powers Tanaka: 👁👄👁

Somehow has perfect hair all the time secret superpower??

Is active on the political stage as a human rights activist, headlining women's rights yes, yes yes

Will strike you with lightning for sexual harassment

Comes up with really good mission plans

Is a soothing balm for Tanaka when he loses it

Black and gold aesthetic✨

Asymmetrical cape! super fashionable

Poster-girl for the Hero Association

☆ Tanaka Ryuunosuke ☆

Powers: fire generation and manipulation

Tanaka brings the heat literally

A bit of a chaotic-good, but what's new there?

Can get out of control if he loses his focus, so his friends have to keep him grounded Kiyoko is a literal angel when that happens

Kiyoko: Sun's getting real low...

Bonus points if you get the reference

Is terrified of hurting innocents if he gets out of control

It rarely happens, but if he loses his self confidence, his powers don't seem to work

Shouts cringy lines at the villains before roasting their asses lmfao

Wears a black and orange flame-retardant suit, and actually looks pretty fine in it 😌👌

Literally head over heels for Kiyoko just imagine it. Biggest hype man

×

☆ Nishinoya Yuu ☆

Powers: animal metamorphosis, enhanced speed

Think Beast Boy from 'Teen Titans', but less green he's more likely to be yellow or orange, lmao

Handy in lots of different situations. Very versatile

Incredibly cheeky and joins in with Tanaka's cheesy jokes and one-liners

Absolute maniac, but the people love him, especially schoolkids lmao

Has his own energy drink flavour, and he's STOKED about it

Yellow and black suit, kind of like his hair

Has a surprisingly large following of fans

Laps up the attention, but it doesn't really go to his head

Quiet and serious when he's on a mission/fighting

☆ Hinata Shouyou ☆

Powers: self replication, super speed, levitation

His powers took a while to properly manifest, which left him feeling isolated as a teen

Was pretty lost until Ukai helped train him

Got into a fight with Kageyama in an alleyway when he first met him MET HIM IN THE STREET, LMAO

Argues with Kageyama a lot at headquarters, but they work together like a dream when taking down bad guys

Has a heart of literal gold precious baby

Is contantly amazed when he helps significantly

Was inspired to become a hero by his idol, the Little Giant and it's his dream to inspire someone else 😭😭

Uses his replication ability to confuse the bad guys ULTIMATE DECOY

Levitates around the room when he's excited like Aang from ATLA, hahaha

Wears an orange, white and yellow suit with little wings on his heels cuuuute

×

☆ Kageyama Tobio ☆

Powers: water/ice generation and manipulation, breathing underwater, superhuman reflexes

I was tempted to give him fire/ice powers like Todoroki, but I didn't want to detract from Tanaka

Has problems focusing his powers, and can be quite turbulent in the heat of battle

Finds it hard to work well with others initially, but really makes an effort

Has hurt people close to him by accident before and never wants to do it again it would tear him apart

Becomes a power duo with Hinata when Ukai helps train them, even though they don't seem to get on well at first

Broody boi on the surface, but a cinnamon roll deep down

Wears a dark blue and deep purple suit that has fins to assist in underwater escapades which are his forte

Freezes Hinata's feet to the floor when he pisses him off or anybody's feet, tbh

Can dodge almost anything because of his reflexes don't ever try to punch him. You'll look stupid

Is surprised by the number of people in his fan club especially the number of women asking to marry him??

×

☆ Tsukishima Kei ☆

Powers: telepathy, superhuman intellect, mind control on weak-willed individuals

Prefers to outwit his enemies rather than getting into a brawl

But his self-designed gadgets and tech help him out if he has to a bit like Tony Stark, wink wonk

Sometimes makes you question if he's really a hero or not Tsukki, please

Doesn't take orders well

Baits villains by insulting them and getting the better of them with his words it's hilarious

Comes up with good plans, but improvises well with whatever he's got

Probably wears suits over his spandex most of the time fancy shmancy

Is prepared to die to protect Yamaguchi waahhh

×

☆ Yamaguchi Tadashi ☆

Powers: invisibility, force fields, teleportation

Susan Storm with added teleportation, lol

Often finds it hard to value his powers because they're not as visually strong and impressive as other people's

Rather than squaring up to a battle, he often has to 'hide' from it by literally going invisible

But he gradually becomes aware of how vital his powers can be, and learns to control them and make them as advantageous as possible

Is a highly important and valued member of the team

Soft bean that gets nervous and throws up before a fight

But he's hella determined and won't back down

Honestly, just wants to protect Tsukki and make him proud PROTECT HIM

×

☆ Yachi Hitoka ☆

Powers: size manipulation

She can shrink and enlarge herself and objects she touches at will, including other people

Sometimes shrinks really small to avoid social situations she doesn't want to be in samez, honey

The clumsiest and least experienced on the team

But she tries her best, gradually getting to grips with her powers

Sometimes uses her powers by accident, like when she's nervous

Once touched a watermelon slice on the refreshment table and accidentally blew it up to the size of a car Hinata, Kageyama and Noya fully dug in with their faces 😭😭

Nearly passed out when Daichi, the literal god of the Hero Association, told her she had great potential

Don't worry, Yams teleported and caught her

☆ Ukai Keishin ☆

Powers: laser vision, metal mimicry

The has-been hero who lost his enthusiasm for hero-ing and retired some years ago

Was really cool back in his hayday. Big hot-shot with a fan club

Has been working as a convenience store attendant to pay the bills and is bored out of his mind but refuses to admit it

Was convinced to get back in the game when he found Hinata and Kageyama fighting, both struggling with their abilities. He broke up the fight and agreed to coach them

Doesn't do much of the flashy hero stuff anymore, but will occasionally get stuck in when he's needed must protecc his children

Is only, like, ten years older than the other heroes, but they treat him like some fossilised sensei out of Natuto, or some shit

Tbf, he has the back problems of one 😭😭

×

☆ Takeda Ittetsu ☆

Powers: power absorption

Transferred from being a hero to hero management after having having issues with the effects of his powers he has a conscience :(

He felt guilty and responsible for permanently taking the powers of others, even if they were criminals

It was like removing a piece of their souls it kind of broke him

These days, he makes sure nobody knows about his powers, so it can't be used against him

He helps in any other way possible

He would only use his powers again in dire circumstances he knows he'll eventually have to

Is generally chipper and good natured, though

If he was ever captured by a villain, they'd probably send him back because he talks too much omg, hahaha

Helps gather info for the team and direct them on missions and in fights

Gives bomb inspirational speeches ✊

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[xylune]

FFXV Ardyn fanfic

I’ve been replaying Final Fantasy XV since things have settled down and I’ve had the chance to get all the additions and episodes. An idea for a canonverse AU hit me last night and I started working on it this morning, but for some reason, I just had to start writing a scene that won’t happen until later in the story...if I maintain the inspiration enough to keep at it.

Quick explanation: This story will build off the “Dawn of the Future” book addition, taking place after those events. Ardyn is unwillingly revived and supremely unhappy about it. Noctis and company are left with little choice but to try and manage him, as he’s become virtually un-killable. Unfortunately, Ardyn is desperate to die and the choices are to either deliver further torment on the man or try and help him find a purpose in his endless existence.

Beneath the cut (provided it works as it should) is a sample of a scene in which Gladiolus and Prompto are trying to babysit Ardyn, and the situation is made worse when he believes he’s seen a ghost from his past.

"Hmm, first time here. Let's see what's on the menu."

Ardyn checked a sigh of impatience. His flat still awaited, but it was a good ways further into Lestallum and they had been driving all day without a bite to eat. Even he, who could not die, still suffered the pangs of hunger and thirst. Cruel twist, that. What purpose did it serve for an immortal to still require food and drink? It wasn't as though he could starve to death; he'd already tried that. Going without did make him sick and weak, though.

Ever polite even when killing someone, the former Chancellor gave an elegant shrug and flourished a wave of his hand. "By all means, after you."

Gladiolus waited for his smaller companion Prompto to pass through the door first, and then the big, tattooed warrior followed behind. Ardyn held the door open for them both, and then he joined them inside the building.

"Charming little place," he mused, casting a look around. "There, by the window. A perfect spot for us."

The pair looked, and Gladio nodded. "Yeah. Backs to the wall and we can see who comes in and out. Good call."

"Paranoid sort, aren't you?" Ardyn smirked at the black-haired kings guard. "I chose it for the aesthetic position, but you see—"

"I see what I've been trained to see for all these years," interrupted Gladiolus in a low, serious voice. "Don't act so surprised. You're a big part of the reason we all learned to do everything strategically, learned to treat every place we went as a potential ambush spot."

"Guys," interjected Prompto before Ardyn could respond, "who cares about that? We're here to feed our faces and get something hot and nice to drink. Come on, I'm fading fast, here."

Gladiolus kept his hard brown gaze locked with Ardyn's for a moment, and then he nodded. "Right. A meal, then Ardyn's old place, then a place to sleep for the night."

"That's a top plan," agreed Ardyn amicably. "I would offer my flat for the night, but the utilities, I'm sure, have been cut off by now. Not to mention, the place hasn't been given a proper cleaning since I was last there. Dust mites, you know."

"How do you even know it's still available?" asked Prompto as they claimed their table and sat down. "You've been gone for a really long time. They might have cleared it out and rented it to someone else by now."

Ardyn shook his head, removed his fedora and plucked up the menu sitting on the table before him. "I'm paid up for the better part of two years on rent. You see, I can be forgetful about some things, and while it's easy enough to get utilities turned back on if I'm away for too long, personal effects can be a bother to replace. The flat is mine until the end of the year."

"Huh." Gladiolus examined his own menu. "Why not just buy the place, if you had that kind of money?"

Ardyn's usual flair with speech dropped, leaving his tone flat and level. "Because I didn't intend to be here for longer than that."

The younger two men paused, and they exchanged a look with one another over the tops of their menus.

"Oh dear, have I made you uncomfortable?" Ardyn's smirk came back, though it lacked humor. "How tactless of me. Still, you asked."

"Enough talk of suicide and death," insisted Gladiolus.

"I don't believe either of those two words were—"

"Or insinuations of the subject," interrupted the black-haired man, his squared jaw tightening. "We've talked about this. Remember the agreement."

"Yes of course, but the point remains that I was asked a question, to which I merely answered with honesty." Ardyn turned to the freckled blond seated beside him. "True, Prompto?"

"Well, yeah. That's a pretty valid point."

"All right, whatever," huffed Gladiolus. "Let's just drop it and get on with the eating. I'm starving and we're burning what's left of our daylight."

Ardyn could have ordinarily thought up a few snappy quips in response to that, but the inadvertent turn of the subject matter, however brief, reminded him again of his misery. His thoughts twisted back into the same dismal questions he'd been asking himself since the day of his unwilling return to the flesh.

How was he to maintain what little he had left of his sanity, knowing he had endless days and nights ahead of him with no end or purpose in sight?

"Hmph. No rest for the wicked," he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

Ardyn glanced sidelong over the top of his menu at Gladiolus, and then he pointedly focused on the text again. "Just thinking aloud, friend. Hmm, the Nebula Salmon Melt looks rather appetizing. I think I'll try that. What say you?"

Gladiolus scowled—not at Ardyn this time, but at the menu. "Everything looks pretentious to me. Iggy would love it."

"No meat and potato sub, then?"

"No cup o' noodles, either," added Prompto glibly.

Bless the speckled pistol specialist. Even though he clearly shared an understandable grudge and mistrust against Ardyn, Prompto's sociable nature compelled him to join in on some good-natured ribbing. Ardyn rather liked the lad for that.

"Knock it off," warned the big man. "Don't poke the bear when he's hungry, got it? I'm not in the mood."

"Yes, Prompto," Ardyn nudged the blond beside him with an elbow. "Do be careful. Now, Gladio—"

"I've told you not to call me that," reminded the kings guard with a frown. "Only friends and family are authorized to use the short version. You're neither. In fact, you're still at the top of my shit list, so cut the familiarity crap."

"Of course, Gladiolus," revised Ardyn politely. "I forget myself at times. Now, as I was saying, have you noticed the menu items on the other side? They have several items of a meatier variety."

Gladiolus flipped his menu over and looked. "Huh, you're right." He peered at the menu for a moment, and then he frowned, and he looked at Prompto. "What's 'prosciutto'?"

"Beats me, dude." The blond spread his hands helplessly. "I bet Noct or Specs would know, but I'm just as uncultured as you are. Ardyn, do you know?"

He did, but the older man's patience was quietly wearing thinner, and Gladiolus' rudeness wasn't helping. "It's meat."

Gladiolus' tiny smirk suggested that he was picking up on Ardyn's veiled frustration. "What kind of meat?"

"From a dead animal."

"No shit. What kind of animal? What part? Must be pretty special for such a fancy name."

Now Ardyn could feel his precious control slipping, and the daemons within him were trying to push to the surface. He spoke through his teeth, with a smile. "Why, the most delectable of both. A human ass."

Prompto sputtered, coughed and put his camera away. "Okay guys, time out. Let's just ask a waitress before you two eat each other. Hey, I see one over there. She's cute, too! Not as cute as Cindy, but real pretty. Uh, actually, I'll just go straight to her and ask. Don't kill each other, okay?"

For a moment, gold-amber eyes remained locked with dusky brown ones. Gladiolus was the first to look away, and he covered up whatever disquiet he felt by turning his attention to their companion, who had left the table to speak with a server.

"Him and the blondes. He's got a real thing for them. She is cute, though."

Inwardly glad for the distraction from his own annoyance, Ardyn followed Gladiolas' gaze across the room, to the bar area. Prompto was chatting with a fetching young woman wearing a uniform apron over her clothes. No matter the horrors he'd seen or the darkness he lived in, Ardyn could still appreciate beauty in all its forms. Women were certainly no exception, so he examined her with as much interest as his companions.

She had her back turned to him at first, but he noted that she had a pleasing form with delicate curves. Small of build, of average height, she had her hair gathered into a ponytail at the base of her neck.

The color of her hair caught his attention the most, provoking a little pang of nostalgia within him. It was certainly blonde, as Gladiolus said, but it wasn't a yellow tone like Prompto's or a platinum shade like the queen's. Most would consider it an unremarkable color blonde, almost a neutral tone between white and yellow, pale and with just enough highlights to lend a faint touch of gold.

Ardyn knew this particular hair color well, for he'd run his fingers through strands of it just like that, many times in the distant past. He'd always compared it to pale wheat, and he'd always found it to be the most interesting variation of that hair shade. Even the density of the waitress's hair was the same, though the length was greater than the hair he'd once touched.

She then turned, and Ardyn Izunia was treated to the interesting experience of feeling his body go hot and cold all at once. He couldn't say it was a pleasant thing. He couldn't move, and his breath halted in his lungs, lodging somewhere in his throat on its way out.

Her face, sweetly, softly rounding a bit where the cheekbones met the jaw, softening her features there before tapering down to a gently curving chin.

Her brow, pale and fine like the hair on her head.

Her nose. Her lovely, pert and perfect nose.

Her lips, pouty with a slight upward curve at the corners, sweet and generous with both kisses and smiles.

Her eyes. Colors of blue and green, forest and sea harmonizing together, creating a beautiful, soulful color made even more expressive by the downward tilt of the outer eye corners. There was wisdom in those eyes, made ancient by an abiding love and devotion to the gods, and to the light. There was compassion there as well, and laughter.

A collection of words describing his dead betrothed kept spinning in Ardyn's head, and a part of him realized he had reduced this poor girl before him to a collection of body parts, comparing them to his lost love's bit by bit, because he simply could not believe what he was seeing.

Everything about her, every part of her, was an exact copy of the woman he would have married, had fate been more kind. Down to every detail, as far as he could tell from this distance. He had eyes like a hawk though, and he could even see that she had the exact same faint little freckles on her cheeks and nose, in the exact places he remembered them. He used to kiss them lovingly when they spent afternoons together, so he'd memorized them all.

Gladiolus was talking to him, in his rough voice. Ardyn could hear him, but it was faint as if coming from far away. There was a ringing in his ears, and it drowned out his companion's questions. For a moment, Ardyn wondered if he'd gone deaf, but then he heard the waitress's voice. Even that was identical to the one he remembered. She even had the same accent.

Every other voice and every other sound in the cafe faded into the background as the fallen healer focused on the sound of her voice.

"—cured ham," she was saying to Prompto, smiling. "It's quite popular. You can assure your friend that it doesn't come from a human's ass."

Prompto then pointed at the table they'd claimed, and Ardyn was overwhelmed with a sudden, immediate rush of panic as the waitress's gaze flicked to him. He quickly looked away, turning his head so hard that his neck popped in the process. He closed his eyes, willing himself to calmness.

He was imagining things. Seeing things that weren't there. It wouldn't be the first time. His beloved Aera couldn't possibly be there, serving sandwiches and coffee in a cafe. She was dead. Not only that, she was lost to him forever. When he'd let go after the defeat of Bahamut, thinking he could finally rest, he thought he was going to be with her. She wasn't there, though. There was only darkness, and then...he found himself in the flesh again, in pain, in Noctis' throne room.

He only got to see his beloved for a moment, and she wasn't there waiting for him like he'd thought. Perhaps he'd only hallucinated her after all, and they couldn't be together in any form because of the sins he'd committed.

She wasn't really here, in this establishment, offering sandwich advice. It wasn't possible.

"Hey, what's with you?"

For once, Gladiolus's aggressive barking was received with gratitude, because it startled Ardyn enough to anchor him back to reality...somewhat.

"So sorry," he managed to verbalize, "but I need fresh air. Be right back."

She was coming. He could feel her presence, hear her dainty steps like the thunder of an approaching storm. Ardyn Izunia abandoned all pretense of grace and manners, snatched up the fedora he'd set on the windowsill, crammed it on his head and made his egress as quickly as he could without using his warping abilities and causing a scene.

"What the hell did you say to him?" Prompto looked from Gladio to the door Ardyn had just vanished through.

"Nothing. He just spaced out all the sudden." Gladio was frowning, appearing just as lost as Prompto. "He looked like he saw a ghost or something, if you ask me. You went over there to talk to the waitress, and then he went still as a statue and turned about five shades whiter. All I did was ask if he was okay."

Prompto scratched his head, looking through the window and leaning a little to get a better view. "I see him. He's by the street lamp. He's just standing there with his hands in his coat pockets and his head down."

"Prompt, I swear I didn't do anything. We watched you talking to the waitress, and then he flipped."

Prompto combed his fingers through his spiky hair—or as much as he could before the stiffening product in his locks stopped him. "Damn. Well, who knows with him? Why was I the peacekeeper here, anyway? Ignis is better at this than me."

"Because Noct is stressed as hell and right now, he needs Ignis at his side as his advisor and his hand."

"I know, I know," sighed Prompto. "This is kind of a vacation from babysitting for him and Luna. I...I guess I'll go out and talk to him, see if I can figure out what's up before he blows a gasket. She's gonna come bring us some water in a sec, but if we're not back inside would you order the drinks?"

"Fine. What do you want?"

The blond shrugged his slim, bare shoulders. "Just the usual green soda. I don't know what Ardyn wants."

"He needs a tall glass of calm the fuck down," grumbled Gladio.

"I don't think they serve that here," Prompto answered dryly. "He said something about coffee earlier."

"The last thing that guy needs right now is caffeine."

Prompto threw his hands up. "Well, I don't know! Tea or something? He likes tea, right?"

"Guess it couldn't hurt. Go on; I'll hold the fort."

Ardyn had calmed himself enough to risk another look inside, but Prompto came out and tapped him on the shoulder just as he was about to try and confirm what he thought he'd seen. To his chagrin, the older man jumped a bit, and he turned to face Prompto with a frown.

"You, boy, should avoid sneaking up on me that way."

Truthfully, Prompto was no "boy" anymore. He and his friends were now nearly of an age with Ardyn. At least physically. He couldn't help but still think of them all as youths though, for compared to himself, virtually everyone alive on Eos was just a babe.

"Sorry, I was worried about you."

The casually and honestly worded response gave Ardyn pause. He knew the core of Prompto's concern was rooted in Noctis' expectations of him, naturally. Prompto's concern was more in letting his friend and king down than any true care for Ardyn's well-being, but it was nice to hear someone say that without hesitation, all the same.

"You saw her too, didn't you?" He was hardly aware of what he was saying. The words spilled out without conscious thought, but Ardyn realized that he did need confirmation from someone.

"Saw who?"

"The girl."

Prompto blinked, and there was a rumble of thunder overhead. He glanced up at the sky briefly, then flinched when a drop of rain landed on his nose. "There were a few girls in there, man. Can you be more specific?"

Growing more agitated, Ardyn grabbed Pronto by the shoulders. "The girl. The one you were speaking to."

Prompto's hand inched toward the holster where he kept his gun, but he didn't draw it. He regarded the ancient warily, his fair brows hedging with alarm. "Whoa, slow down. Do you mean the waitress?"

Aware that he'd just inadvertently made Prompto feel threatened, Ardyn relaxed his hold, though he didn't release it. "Aye, the waitress. Blonde, fair of skin, eyes like the color of a lagoon. Voice like bells."

"Um...okay. Your speech has ah...really gone old school all the sudden. And that's a pretty intense description..."

"Just answer me!"

Prompto nodded convulsively. "Yeah, yeah! Of course I saw her, dude. I was the one that pointed her out in the first place!"

"So...she's real. She's really here."

The smaller man's eyes were almost bugging out now. "Well I sure as shit hope so, because otherwise I was standing there talking to thin air about human ass sandwiches."

If he weren't so bewildered, Ardyn would have laughed uproariously over that. Under current circumstances though, his sense of humor was crippled. Nonetheless, he tried to at least put on a facade of calm for the sake of his companion. He removed his hands from Prompto's shoulders, taking a step back to give the other man space.

"Ah, well. Begging your pardon, friend. I was merely...startled. She looks very much like someone I once knew, and well...this is rather embarrassing, but I feared for a moment that I was hallucinating. Hence my asking you those odd questions."

Prompto's "fight or flight" stance relaxed a bit, and he shifted from foot to foot. "Oh. Yeah, I can see where you're coming from. I mean, after what you've...well, it's okay."

Prompto gave the taller man an awkward pat on the shoulder. "She's real, you're not seeing things and the rain is starting to come down. Let's go back inside for some chow, okay?"

"Splendid. Do let's. After you."

Ardyn tugged his hat brim down a little lower, waited for his companion to go back in, and then peeked through the window furtively. The rain was coming down faster now, streaking the glass and spoiling his view. He couldn't see the waitress, but she was in there.

"Pull it together," he whispered to himself.

The girl was real, and she definitely shared some traits with his lost love, but surely his mind had tricked him earlier. He saw through the eyes of a grieving heart, and he was clinically insane. He could make it through a quick meal without going completely off hinge...he hoped.

[off-in-the-moors]

It is not the responsibility of art to be morally instructive. It is 100% YOUR responsibility to research something if you know you are a sensitive person, take responsibility for your self. Art does not need to be some clinical sanitized morality play, get over your weird Puritanical obsession that all art must conform to your specific world view. Either engage in challenging works or stick to children’s cartoons where you can feel ‘safe’.

-

Dear Anon,

I’m truly confused by this. I have no idea what are you referencing and what “inspired“ you to send me this “ask“. But I will do my best to give you something.

(It only took me this long to answer, bc I don’t log in very often.)

Let’s start with your assumption of me.

I’m not a sensitive person, in any meaning. I actually love reading and engaging in media that’s morally questionable or straight up morbid and disturbing. Some of my favorite thing are: paintings by Goya and Beksiński, folklore/mythology (in it’s most unchanged form), “Perfume“ both film and book, Hannibal tv series, true crime, to name a few. Your assumption that I’m just “a girl obsessed and only enjoying modern cartoons“ is insulting.

I actually do agree with you that art, in any form, isn’t responsible to be morally instructive, but every work of art is made to send some form of message, be an obvious one or hidden between pages. In my opinion, authors and writers should be aware of what message they want to send with their works and what messages they are sending with what and how they’re presenting.

On your “It is 100% YOUR responsibility to research something if you know you are a sensitive person, take responsibility for your self“ this is also true. But on the other hand, given media should provide you with some kind of warning and not a third party entity. For example, if I pick-up a YA book from a bookstore, bc of its synopsis or someone (be a person I know or a creator) recommended it to me, I don't expect "spicy" scenes or blatant a*use of a character by its love interest or just "torture p*rn" scenes in it but here they are. With no warning. Is it my fault? Partly yes. Is it the media's fault for not giving me any warnings? Also yes.

Even with researching "warnings" isn't that simple. When it comes to books, the only way is reading reviews or recommendations. With reviews, they're either positive and say nothing book related or are negative and full of spoilers. Recommendations nowadays most of the time don't even give you what the story is about, just "it has x, y and z in it", let alone "warnings". From my own experience, they either don't tell you about "unappropriated" stuff (be r*pe, d*ug a*use, a*use, etc.) or they down play them and in worst cases, excuse it or say "it gets better/it's addressed in the next book/later in the series".

But if you feel the need to micromanage everything you engage in, go for it. But most people don't and a warning would be nice.

(This of course doesn't apply to thing and character's actions deemed "problematic". If said stuff is well handled and addressed, it's perfectly ok to portray it. But again, if it addressed and/or showed as wrong, and not ignored, excused, or played as a joke.)

I don't know from where you took the "your weird Puritanical obsession", bc 1) I never petitioned for that in my posts, and 2) I'm actually against censuring and sanitation of media.

Now, on to what "inspired" you to write this.

Again, I have no f-clue. So here are my best guesses:

If it's about Pathologic: I only have problem with people forcing their politics, modern sentiments and opinions/interpretations on to something they don't fully understand, because they're from a different cultural climate. An American can't fully (or in some cases, refuses to) understand something made by Europeans (in this case Russians) for Europeans in mind. I don't want to mix myself into the fandom discourse/drama, because I don't care what people think or how they interpret stuff, even if it's taken from something minor or from nowhere with no support (or even is debunked) in canon. I don't care if people like or hate this one character. Just don't police people for liking things, you don't like. Nor do public shaming or send people on those you don't agree with. You don't like a pixel man on platform shoes? Fine. Just don't bully and attack people who do.

If it's about my post about B*rdugo's adult book: I will admit, the wording and presentation wasn't the best. I was writing it from a place of strong emotions, but I'm still standing by my opinion that some things should not be presented with graphic details in a book without any type of warning. Here we could have a discussion about trigger warnings in books, hers response to the idea of putting them on her book and what is consider "too far", but this isn't about that. I actually have a lot of problems with B*rdugo and her fan-base, besides that. Her use of Russia, it's history, religion iconography and culture only for aesthetic and not doing proper research (she called her series "Greg's trilogy") or showing any respect for it (with characters, how are not main and secondary characters, a Slavic stereotype); her portray of dyslexia and how the fandom likes to use it as a joke in relation to this character; or people shielding her from any form of criticism with "She's is xyz, so she can write this". But I don't care about her and her works.

I stopped reading YA books, because I can't stand them any longer and their "handling" of topics, with people holding up every-single-one as "the best book ever written", not because of the quality or story but because the author is xyz, and spitting at every book written before 2000s. I'll get flag for it but YA novels are the Pulp fiction of our times (of course not all, but most of the popular ones are). I stopped trusting people recommending them to me, because 90% of the time, I'm just disappointed by them.

If it's about K and TRC: I already said so much about this. Margaret isn't aware of her audience, she writes for herself (which she admitted on a podcast) and refuses to change it to please anyone. She created and killed K for two reasons: to further Ronan's character arc (to be used for teaching him to dream better and a (not working) foil of him (or Adam... or Gansey)) and as her weird catharsis of killing everything she hates (who she apparently was; "fratty boys and chortling men") personified as one boy (and yes, boy, because this fandom likes to forget he’s only seventeen, the same age as the Gangsey. If you excuses their actions, like Ronan and Adam’s racist jokes or Gansey’s toxic behaviors towards Adam with “they’re just teenagers”, why K is excluded from being a stupid teen?). With Jordan, it's now obvious that she has a bias of suffering/dealing with your trauma (and addiction) "in the right way", of which in her eyes, K wasn't. She could not create K or she could not make him a harmful stereotype of a Slav, but she did. In a book targeted at 13-18 year olds, we have a drug-addicted boy committing a public s*icide and being demonized and forgotten by everyone.

But I'm done with this fandom, I never had a place in it. TRC fandom is 80% P*nch with a 1% being about K, but even this little corner is "too much" for the stans. I left for a reason, the only thing I regret is not apologizing for my out-burst. If someone who knows what I’m referencing is reading this, I’m truly sorry.

So, yea. I hope, I addressed your issue, Anon.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 9

back at it again, and its time for the shadowplay arc, HELL yeah

oh I'm so excited i love this arc lets DO this

oooh its nightbeat and quark!! way before they become relevant, which is so cool

‘one of those recepticon fanatics’ lmao imagine if they were...the recepticons. just doesn't have the same ring to it 

god i fucking love all the politics of mtmte. i love how they’re talking about the senate here before we really get to See how bad they were (we heard a bit about it from whirl a few issues ago, and now here)

love how nightbeat is pretty much agreeing with the decepticon ideology here, even if its clear that he isn't Actually a decepticon - it just drives home the fact that, in this story, The Decepticons Were Right About A Lot Of That Stuff (or at least, they had a reason other than ‘destruction’ for rebelling). 

AND THEN THERES RUNG!!!!!!! WITH HIS MODEL OF THE LOST LIGHT....god i fuckgin LOVE the continuity in this story bc the first time reading this ur like oh ok rung is old yea makes sense...but then later all the time travel stuff happens and then its like OHHHHH 

damn poor rung nightbeat can rlly tell he's lonely just by looking at him vbhjdkdfhbjsjkdf geez. also nightbeat that's ur mystery stick bf from the future js!!

quarks extreme POV on all of the stuff is so interesting, and makes so much sense bc of Course he would think that as a non-combatant scientist who, due to his functional value in current society, wouldn't really benefit much from a revolution - in fact, he’d probably lose a lot. and that’s the sort of thing where you’re like, ok well think about everyone else dude, have some perspective - but at the same time, quark did suffer a pretty terrible fate, so his fears weren't entirely unfounded...augh, its so fascinating...im sorry I'm not gonna shut up about space robot politics this Entire time

HOW did nobody notice that dead body before now

ratchet spray-painting the hands he stole from pharma to match his own paintjob is like...kinda gruesome if you think about it hvbhsjkdfbkjdf

i love rewind sooo much oh my god 

he rlly stashed rung’s comatose body in a wheelchair behind the bar hbkjdhfbshjkdf rewind 

rewind and chromedome’s tag-team explanation....ough hhhhh THEM 

wait a sec, rewind, you have medical records in your database? that is, at least according to regular medical laws, very illegal lmao. my favorite long-running theme in mtmte: the fact that hipaa and osha laws on cybertron are either basically nonexistent, or just universally disregarded 

what the actual fuck is up w/cybertronian time units. that shit is wack as hell 

ooh i love how chromedome looks different in the flashback - no shoulder tires! - that's a cool detail

how come prowl just said ‘minute,’ rewind was busting it up w/all the wack ass fantasy time units just a second ago. geez

also goddd i love the scenery of pre-war cybertron, its SUCH a cool setting like, visually and aesthetically and politically

like, i adore details like the sign in the bg that says ‘everyone’s shape serves a purpose.’ really adds to the ‘society on the precipice of civil war currently controlled by an increasingly-desperate faction who are doling out propaganda like crazy in an attempt to maintain their image and control over the populace’ vibe

good ole murder mystery setup. love it!

pre-war prowl is such an interesting character. actually prowl in general is such an interesting character...I kinda wrote him off during my first read of mtmte (and even a little during my second readthru) as just this dude who’s an asshole (espec bc my prev tf experience involved watching tfa as a kid, and this prowl is very different from tfa prowl lol)...but prowl is SUCH a multi-faceted and interesting character, even in the relatively little we see of him in mtmte 

plus it was interesting to learn later that prowl was one of the characters that jro wanted for mtmte and didn't get, and MAN i wish he got prowl bc I would've loved to see what jro would've done w/prowl on the lost light, that would've been amazing. like, just imagine the arc he would have...I have no idea what that arc would BE, but I know it would be awesome. plus I’d be really interested to see how prowl would factor in, relationships-wise, amongst the crew of the lost light. so much potential!

anyways. I'm in a very talky mood tonight it seems. its currently 4 am so that kinda explains it. ok, moving on!

chromedome and prowl bantering....in their own morbid forensic-cop way...

skids bvhjdbsfjasf. speaking what we’re all thinking: is prowl gonna keep showing up in mtmte despite not technically being part of the cast??

swerves drawing of prowl lmaoooo

AND THEN REWIND IN SOME OF MY FAVORITE MTMTE PANELS....fuckgin cracks me up every time god. rewind was rlly about to flip their entire ass table just to demonstrate that prowl is a serial table-flipper...and then he cant even make the table budge and he just stares at his hands like ‘how could you betray me like this’ hvbajkhhsfdhksdf PEAK hilarity

drift hvbshfdjbasdfj his forcibly cheery expression even tho he’s being harassed by rodimus, who is a big whiny toddler w/drift lmao 

rodimus is the type of guy who, upon drift not replying to one of his texts, would post a whole twitter thread being all like ‘these days u cant trust any1 to hav ur back...u think u kno someone and then they just ghost you...(1/14)’

again, rewind, HOW and WHY do you just Have medical reports, oh my god, somebody please call a hipaa agent I’m scared, 

ratchet interrupting the story to give a quick medical PSA....that's Such an on-brand thing for Me to do that I feel like jro is assigning me ratchet kin as I read this

also, hey, its sonic and boom, those two decepticons from delphi! nice little continuity there

AND HERES ORION PAX SUPER COP

can’t believe idw made my dad optimus prime into a cop. smh. shouldn't be that shocked tho, I feel like half the idw characters are cops

orion rlly hit them w/the omae wa mo shinderu arrest strat

orion: I cant believe you're beating this guy up. anyways, now I'm gonna beat YOU up,

when ratchet puts his hand over drifts mouth and then gets spray paint on drifts face bhjdfsvsdjhfgbjdskf

pre-war ratchet and drift ;_; ratchet’s little inspirational speech...the fact that he tells drift that he’s special...the fact that drift remembered all of this even after 4 million+ yrs...it gets me bro it GETS me

ALSO the layers in the fact that drift then goes on to become a well-known murderous decepticon...so this little scene of him and ratchet in the past gives a lot of context to ratchet’s general attitude towards drift - ratchet clearly feels at least somewhat responsible for all the blood on drift’s hands, since he saved drift’s life way back in the day

the whole relinquishment clinic thing is such cool worldbuilding, bc of course that's the kind of thing that would develop in a society of robot aliens who are only allowed to work within the rigid confines of their alt mode 

I love the whole matrix thing bc its kinda like being the pope or st but also you have a ton of political sway, so its a super important position, so of Course the corrupt senate would want full control over that power, and would assassinate the current prime to try to get their own guy in 

god vhbhjsdkbgshjdf rodimus is such a dick lmao poor drift

HHHHH I love that the cybertronian version of an autopsy is taking the dudes body apart into the smallest components and laying them all out. that's so fucking cool

hmmmm chromedome maybe you should Not be interested in mnemology, how about that,

oh god. time to start being sad about op and senator shockwave. oh god

senator shockwave more like senator sexy 

also the first time I read this I thought I had just missed his name and like halfway thru the story I went back and scoured the pages looking for it hbvhsjdfbshgfdsbj then I was like oh ok so we’re maybe supposed to just know who this guy is from another comic? but NOPE it was very deliberate and I only realized very close to the end that they were setting up some sort of reveal

its funny bc normally I'm not a huge fan of stories where politics play a huge role but I fuckgin love it here, the politics and worldbuilding is all so interesting and also balanced out with a healthy dose of cool sci-fi hijinks, so

lmao there's chromedome being obsessed w/people making the ‘pfft’ sound 

also wow yet more hindsight, maybe you Shouldn’t be so interested in the Institute, chromedome, 

OHHHH shit I forgot abt the red alert stuff happening at the same time as this :( :( :( 

AUGHHH what a fucked up situation. god 

oooof i gotta continue now!! what a solid issue, I love the shadowplay arc

[zombriekid]

The Devil Takes Care of His Own 2/?? [Alastor/Gender Neutral Reader]

Series: Hazbin Hotel

Chapter Name: Miscommunication 

Chapter Summary: miscommunication runs amok at the hasbin hotel and you’re at the center of it all 

The Has-been Hotel is... you honestly don’t know what you were expecting when Niffty described the place but it sure as hell wasn’t... all of this.

It’s grandiose in both concept and execution, a towering beast of red brick and daunting spires and white marquees lights that draw the gaze up, up, up all seven plus stories until you’re gawking at the luminous, colossal eye nestled at the tippy top of the building; an amalgamation of various parts, such as the rusty boiler of an old locomotive on the left side and the splintering ruins of a ship smashed into the right, it’s as if the architecture had whipped up a variety of blueprints, couldn’t decide on which one to use, then hurled them at the wall to see what stuck. Each individual structure stacks on one another at such awkward angles, not enough to topple over but sufficient to deceive your brain into thinking that it will.

The sort of anxiety that you get when a cup sits dangerously close to the edge of a table.

Niffty skips from one foot over to the other in an energetic, repetitious fashion until they both carry her closer to the grand double-door style entrance, and with a flourish of her skirt she twirls around until she’s gracing you with a toothy grin. “This is it, Newbie!” The declaration is made, and you feel the skin around your mouth pull into a smile of your own before you can even think about it. Her joy is infectious. 

“Cool!” You respond, “umm... I’m gonna kinda stick around until you can get inside, is that okay?”

Her grin quickly drops and her brow pinches, though neither are done out of disgust or anger or any sort of negative reaction. If anything she merely looks confused. Then she asks her favorite question: “why?”

“Cause- I dunno, what if it’s locked?”

“But.. it’s a hotel. Why would it be locked?”

“I don’t- friggin know! Look, I just.. have to make sure you get inside safely! For my peace of mind.”

Something clicks in her head, you can tell by the way her face slackens, the way her eye widens a fraction, and how her already open expression just... opens up more. What this all means you can’t say for sure but you’re hoping that it stems from the epiphany of self preservation and survival instincts, or rather her lack thereof. You can’t afford to worry about her well-being after this. Got an un-life to live and all that.

A smile, tiny in size but genuine in nature, blooms on her face, and warm, fuzzy relief swells in your chest at the sigh; seems the little lady finally gets it.

“You should come inside and meet everybody, Newbie.”

...

Or not-

That’s-

You-

That’s not- the response that-

“W-why?”

The giggle she emits is light and airy, girlish- not quite like a child’s or even a teenager’s yet akin to. Like she knows something that you don’t. “I think you’ll like them, hell you might even become friends!”

“I don’t need- I have friends-” the rest of the statement disconnects from your voice due to the emotional and mental whiplash you’re currently suffering. Because this is not the direction you were anticipating. The direction you were hoping. A moment of clarity to break apart the cloud of teenage hormones- to bridge the gap between childhood and adulthood in her head so that her sense of self preservation might serve her better in the future! That’s all you’re wanting.

Accountability from her. Not an assessment on how pathetic she finds your existence.

But then her smile slips into something a little more somber and the wind in your sails- that is the ire in your throat- immediately deflates. “Please?” She asks.

Hear that? Those are your heartstrings being tuned and plucked and strummed by a diabolical mastermind forever trapped in the body of a teenage girl. Under your breath do you curse the softness in your chest as your feet begin pursuing her prints.

____________________________________

There’s something off about the hotel’s entrance, and you’re already aware of what that something is for it lacks any semblance of subtlety and tact. 

The walls don’t match.

That is to say there’s quite a large patch that coils around the doors from one side of the moulding to the other, with the jump between textures and slightly off-coloring of the material a harsh sensation. “Repairs from an intruder” Niffty tells you; “a big ass red flag” is what you’d call it.

The youngen grasps one of the dusky doorknobs and you have just enough time to note the twin stained glass panels on either door before she shoulders one of them open- oh fuck, these doors are so much bigger than her!

That’s too goddamn endearing.

Crossing the entrance’s threshold and into the foyer doesn’t leave you with any flesh wounds or broken bones, which is a normal expectation otherwise, yet still that doesn’t embolden even an iota of morale. Just makes the oxygen in your lungs slip through pursed lips.

The interior’s lovely, though.

It has a particular aesthetic to it, a sort of old timey feel inspired by early 1900s Hollywood- gold trimming glistens in the low light around the wall’s seams, a wombo combo of creepy eyes and apple silhouette patterns smatters across the wallpaper and windows and furniture, and varying yet complimentary shades of red- some orange based, others with purple undertones- as far as your eyes can see. Chipped marble statues stand tall along the length of the rich, ruby red rug, and both design choices run down the walkway between your feet and the front desk. Safe to say the rest of the establishment follows this decorative draft.

It’s all very gaudy- not something you would’ve chosen.

Niffty announces her arrival with the verbal enthusiastic accompaniment of a “new friend”, which makes the skin on your face heat up, makes you feel coy, however, then her declaration is only met with the ripples of her voice bouncing from wall to burgundy wall, and the silence (emptiness) becomes baffling.

And a quick glance around the space the two of you occupy yields no other results, it’s just the two of you.

Empty.

Obviously there’s electricity in the building, you can easily point out the amber light sources and random puffs of cool air from the air conditioning, so it’s nearly safe to say that this hotel is functioning. At least somewhat.

Don’t most, if not all, functioning hotels have... tenants? People checking in? Employees, managers, a friggin cock roach?! Life?

Why keep the lights on if no one else is here? No one else except... you and Niffty. Why would she bring you here? Knowingly, of all things, given how she spoke of this place with such familiarity. Unless...

No.

Your eyes find her red, curly locks- she wouldn’t- and the hairs on your arms rise with the pebbling texture on your skin- she wouldn’t- and, oh, how the comprehension of age old adages such as “stranger danger” and “curiosity killed the cat” spreads in your chest.

You had no reason to trust her four hours ago, and you have no reason to trust her now.

Seems like her self preservation isn’t the only one that needs fine tuning around here.

Slowly, quietly, you lift your leg and just as discreetly lower it back down behind you, and you mirror this silent shuffle on your right, back and forth, until the tips of your fingers caress a cool, grainy surface. The doors.

Feel for the doorknob- “huh, is no one here?” she mumbles- a metallic globe nestles into the meat of your palm- “that’s weird”- your fingers fold around the bulb- “I was hoping that- what’re you doing, Newbie?”- the knob turns, not by you. It’s not you. You’re not twisting the door open.

The doorknob is moving and it’s not because of you.

A sensation of lofty weightlessness replaces the solid slab against your back, a flurry of butterflies erupts in the pit of your stomach, and the visual of Niffty standing amidst dim lighting slips into the recesses of your peripheral as you fall backwards with the retreating door. However, a pair of hands immediately clench around your biceps and from that point of contact you can physically feel their arms expend force to halt your body’s natural inclination to follow the pull of gravity.

“Whoa there!” Someone says from behind- the owner of the hands and your personal savior, you’re assuming. And judging by the higher, decidedly more effeminate pitch of the voice, your pillar of support is a young lady.

Brief peek up through your lashes confirms all suspicions and you’re, like, ninety five percent sure you’ve fallen in love.

A young gal, somewhere in her early twenties, is staring back at you with her groomed brows creasing the impossibly pale skin of her forehead. But it’s the way she’s looking at you, the manner of which you’re able to meet her lovely doe eyes, is what leaves you weak in the knees.

She’s hunched over you. Spine bowed, shoulders raised, neck craned, spun gold tresses spilled around her face kind of hunched because she’s taller than  you by a significant amount.

You’re ready to go ahead and propose.

“Umm, hi there,” the (hopefully) future Mrs. Newbie says through a lopsided grin, “are you okay?”

This next moment of stupidity will hound your psyche later on tonight until the only thing that lulls you to sleep is the sheer exhaustion of socially awkward-induced anxiety, however in the meantime there’s no stopping the response that jettisons out of your mouth. “I need to call heaven because they’re missing an angel.”

“... what?”

“I mean my legs must be broken cause I’ve fallen for you.”

____________________________________

Over a glass of water, serviced by an individual whom you can only describe as a winged grump cat- and was, supposedly, here the entire time you were questioning a child’s integrity- is where you apologize to the blonde hotel owner, Charlie; she attempts to wave it off with a flick of her wrist but this doesn’t suffice, not for you at least.

“No no, I’m really sorry- it’s just...” at a momentary loss for words, your index fingernail lightly scrapes into the grainy pattern of the bar. “I’m fairly new here so a lot of things are still pretty jarring.”

“Guess that explains the meat suit, then.”

This astute observation comes from her companion, a long-legged fellow by the name of Angel Dust who’s currently scrutinizing you with his sharp, mix-matched eyes; at a whopping seven foot something this guy looms over everyone in the room with all four arms laced over the tuft of white fur billowing out of the plunging collar of his suit. Bug-based, you think, like an arachnid maybe but with six limbs instead of eight.

“-arachnids are not insects because-”

Nope, none of that, not gonna have an episode spice up your (less than) stellar first impression.

“Yep, been here for about a month now. I’d like to think I’ve adjusted well enough but, ya know, still get thrown through a loop sometimes. Like this hotel for instance! Never would’ve thought that friggin Hell would have one, no offense.”

On a bar stool to your left pipes up Niffty; “is that why you thought I was gonna attack you, Newbie?”

Naturally you’re utterly unprepared for her rather perceptive question, cause she can determine your, a total stranger’s, apprehension but not an aggressor’s intentions when their teeth are poised around her noggin?

Well, no sense in denying it now, you suppose.

“Sorry about that, Niffty.”

“Oh no worries!” She giggles, “it’d be pre-etty stupid to blindly trust someone like that.”

A few beats pass with the two of you staring at one another, her donning a toothy smile and you puckered lips, and shortly after you disrupt the unofficial contest with a single nod of your head and a “fair enough” tacked on to the finale.

Turning back to Charlie, you tell her that the offensive essence of your statement about her hotel didn’t really make itself known until just now, and apologize for your insensitivity once more. “I guess I just didn’t think anything like this was plausible, but here I am drinking complimentary tap water in a lobby of a hotel in Hell.”

“’Complimentary’, my ass.” The winged cat, Husk as you were told earlier, grumbles under- his? that voice definitely sounds masculine- breath.

“Okay, just tap water then. I’m drinking tap water in-”

“I-it’s okay, Newbie!” Charlie interjects, palms raised and fingers slack. “You’re not the first one to doubt the Happy Hotel, though I do appreciate your apology.”

... want some of that non complimentary tap water to wash down that foot, self? Jesus, if you didn’t feel like shit before then boy howdy do you feel it now; way to trash her gig like that.

“But I believe in this project, no matter what anyone else says, and if I can help just one demon find redemption here then everyone else will believe too!”

FUCK, you really just shat all over this literal-but-not-really angel’s dreams! God you’re such-

Wait.

Wait wait wait... rewind that, what did she say?

“Redemption,” you stress the word, “whaddya mean by that?”

Her mouth blinks open repeatedly not unlike that of a fish before she quickly clears her throat and continues. “Umm.. rehabilitation? To fight against the overpopulation issue?” She must see the lack of recognition on your face. “The entire reason for this hotel?”

Unfortunately for her nothing is distinguishable, not one bit of information or even hearsay within your recollection to mend the rift of miscommunication here, and you explain as such.

“Isn’t that... why you’re... here? To be rehabilitated?” She asks.

You shake your head, “I was just escorting Niffty home so she’d get back safely. This is the first I’ve even heard of your project.”

“Yep yep! Newbie here saved me from some guy that was trying to kidnap me, said he wanted to use me as bait against the bossman, can you believe that?” Niffty scoffs, chased by a large, arcing roll of her one eye. “Completely clueless. But thanks to our new friend here I didn’t have to do anything!”

Angel Dust, apparently with a desire to be a part of the conversation once more, emerges into your line of sight from your right and levels you with a somewhat twisted sneer; lots of fangs, this one, hopefully he’s not a biter.

“So... what? You lookin’ for reward money or somethin’?” He jeers, and it takes some exertion of personal willpower to not clench your hands out of irritation.

Doesn’t mean it’s not showing on your face, however.

“No dude, just seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

“Tch, ya think we’re really fallin for that crock of shit?”

“I don’t care what you think?” Your tone is calm, steady, no need to act like a jackass even in the afterlife- a concept that has obviously eluded this guy’s notice. “That was my reason for helping, ‘s not my problem if you don’t believe me.”

In your peripheral you can see Charlie’s silhouette veer a little to her right/your left; it’s a slight tilt in her neck that seems to tip her center of gravity, drawing her blonde hair over her right shoulder in a curtain of pale gold, however it’s her eyes that capture your absolute, full attention. Round and unblinking, they probe into you with such vigilance that your stomach churns from the intense concentration, except it’s done in a way that brings a sort of glossy haze over her round, pretty face- like she’s looking at you but she’s not seeing you.

Normally you’d be flattered by such an attractive person outright staring at you, openly, but uhh... right now? Yeah, no you’re not, you’re actually feeling pretty anxious right now.

Guess Angel Dust is tuning in on the same wavelength as you because he says her name in the form of a question. And, still with a far away vog clouding over her features, she merely discloses “I need to call Vaggie” then treads towards the building’s entrance.

“... what?” Is all you can get out in this disorientation.

“Vaggie is Charlie’s girlfriend,” Niffy whispers behind a cupped hand.

Which doesn’t actually answer much of anything for you, nevertheless you appreciate her effort and thank her for it.

Then your left pocket comes alive with rhythmic tremors, a clear indication that your phone is receiving some sort of outward correspondence. Ah, a text message from... oh no.

Text from: The Boss

“WHAT. THE FUCK. DID YOU DO, NEWBIE?”

“Oh fuck me.”

____________________________________

a/u: no beta, we post (and die) like men... until i actually go back and review it. y’all this chapter was gonna end much further down the line but it’s already long enough, and though i’m not inherently happy with the outcome i am proud of myself for getting it out by my self imposed deadline! btw the reader’s assertion of the characters’s gender identities is there only cause these are characters we know so it makes it easier on me; if any of them didn’t follow a binary based identity then i wouldn’t identify them based off of their biological sex. like, reblog, comment, and all that great jazz cause engagement means everything to content creators, and thank all y’all for taking the time to read my jargon <3

tagged: itz-kira (i gotchu boo)

[ober-affen-geil]

Hey im a lesbian and can i just say that i want to bring ‘asexy’ back sooo much. Im attracted to women, but not men, and i feel like theres a solidarity between lesbians/aces/aros in the sense of lack of heteronormative attraction. And i just think that using words like squish/asexy normalizes aesthetic/platonic attraction/love/etc. Idk if im explaining myself well, but i think asexual culture/words are so niche but also super useful!!

Hey anon! Happy Pride! Thanks for reaching out. You probably didn’t mean to, but you have inspired a small rant lol.

I honestly think that’s the most frustrating part about aces/aros/aroaces being infantilized and dismissed and outright made fun of for using words to describe our experiences; because if allos would get their brain out of the gutter for more than two seconds* it would be very obvious that those words apply to allos too.

“Squish” is not a word that does not apply to allos. It basically just means a friendship crush. But “crush” usually has both romantic and sexual connotations, so we came up with something that was a variation on the theme. Straight people can have squishes on other straight people. Queer folks can have squishes on straight people, and allos of all shapes and sizes can have squishes on people, even if they technically fall into the category of “people they could be sexually/romantically attracted to”. It just means you like that person and think they’re neat!

I’ve gone on a rant before about how the Split Attraction Model actually applies to everyone in my opinion too; it’s just that allos, especially cishet ones who never really have a cause to examine themselves at all, don’t seem to have to put as much thought into their identities as aces and aros do.

And like, honestly it’s interesting you send this to me today because I’ve been thinking about this recently, but “asexy”. It may have something to do with me being afab and being raised in an environment/culture where “looking good” equals a lot of positive things, but personally I like the days when I’m dressed up. My presentation varies widely on the “masculine-feminine spectrum” (which is a lie anyway but I DIGRESS) but when I really take the time to put myself together I feel good. It makes me confident and powerful, and I’m a big fan.

But when I’m suddenly confronted with the fact that there are people who are looking at me and sexualizing me? And I don’t even mean in an “objectification” way I just mean “looking at me and finding me sexy”? I want to claw out of my skin. 

The reminder, and the disgust in response, that I am being measured and considered for something that I want no part of, is something I think everyone can relate to, actually. Anon you point out the lesbian/ace/aro solidarity and I think that’s certainly true; as a result of lesbians being in a culture that sexualizes and commodifies women’s bodies and puts them in a world that is not only heteronormative but patriarchal as well, lesbians probably know the feeling I’m describing intimately. And straight women, I’m sure, know that feeling as well.

But it’s something I’m also sure straight men would understand if they were put in a situation with gay men; if they had their power and control and privilege pushed aside for a short while they might have a taste of it too. And not to silence voices, since most straight men are not as obtuse as we make them out to be, a lot of them, if they really thought about it, could probably come up with a situation like the one I’m describing. It just likely wasn’t as uncomfortable for them because they had the confidence and security to say “no” and trust it would be respected.

My point is that feeling, that awful, prickling discomfort of the realization and reminder that “that person Wants me in a way that I don’t want them”, even if it’s not acted on by the other person, is not something that is unique to the asexual or aromantic experience. 

So to silence our voices, to bully and shame us into obscurity and to brand us with the dunce cap of “cringe culture”, in my opinion does a great disservice to everyone involved.

*I am aware that most allos are not, in fact, raging sex beasts who are slavering 24/7 over the idea of doing the nasty, and I am also aware that I am speaking from a position of an unfortunately deeply puritanical culture that sexualizes even minor physical contact and shames us for mere thoughts that for the most part are not actually sexual in nature. Yes, allos are suffering for that even if they don’t know it. Please also be aware that I as an aroace suffered having to unlearn it in myself and am still suffering from how it affects the allos around me on a daily basis so I feel I am entitled to a little snark.

[addytheheartbreaker]

Facts about Tenshi (my 1010 oc)

If anyone who haven’t read my Wattpad story “Sing me to my Melancholia” you can go through here to read it because there are a major spoilers about Tenshi before I could finished the next chapter soon.

Here are the facts of Tenshi:

Tenshi is made up of 3 different old 1010 models, Addy was the one who design his body by fusing all three 1010 androids into one while her favorite hacker Jefferson (one of my ocs) was responsible from building his body.

He has 2 separated hands both if he needed it. One is a normal and plain looking 1010 hands and the other has nails painted with black nail polish alongside with silver rings.

When I designed Tenshi, he was supposed to have piercings especially putting green hoops earrings but decided to reject the idea until I changed my mind to put piercing when he was wearing that has piercings include.

Tenshi is also supposed to have his rainbow eyes changing into different colors based off his emotions but decided to reject that idea for a reason.

From my previous post before, Tenshi has a soft spot for cute and tiny things that sits adorably on his huge hands. He’ll become obsessed to get tiny cute things for himself. His attraction to adorable things might be influence by Addy.

He can eat electricity around the environment. Since Vinyl City is a high tech city, he can consume electricity around the place draining its power (either from machines or someone with lightning powers). His favorite food is the mini Qwasa.

He loves cats, most preferably kitten. He even owned 2 kittens; one kitten is his favorite gray kitten name Fluff while the other is a white spotted kitten belong to Addy named Marshmallow (Named by Addy)

Similar to one of my ocs, Nicol the Wild Dog, who has a gothic punk theme angry bad boy persona but was a sweetheart in person. To Tenshi’s case, he is a silent badass guy persona when performing on stage and on public but behind it, Tenshi is actually a very wholesome person who is kind, playful, childish and a gentle giant type around children and elder people.

To 1010′s point of view to their older brother Tenshi, they all view Tenshi as a “Perfectionist, Badass and Independent 1010″ and most of all a “Better version of Rin” even though Tenshi appreciate the compliment but isn’t happy to know about it.

Rin was jealous of Tenshi because of how Zimelu, Haym, Purl-Hew and Eloni followed Tenshi as if he is the real leader of 1010 and Tenshi is the better version of Rin that makes him overshadowed the white android. However, Tenshi is also jealous of Rin too because firstly, Rin is the better 1010 model version of the old 1010 model that had been forgotten and discarded then secondly, Rin along with the other 1010 members are famous and brighter than Tenshi that would also overshadowed him too.

Tenshi’s hobbies are studying or gathering information, training, watching anime and cartoons, playing video games that Addy liked, singing and dancing (mostly, doing the 1010 dance routines) and lastly drawing or doing handicrafts.

Tenshi has multiple talents since he is a perfectionist android.

Tenshi is Addy’s android assistant and bulter. Which mean, he is the 5th Doll Addy had owned.

He loves reading real horror stories and there is a time when he read and narrating privately.

He suffers multiple mental disorders and many major mechanical problems due to his fusion of three different 1010 models makes it difficult for him despite he is durable, waterproof and unbreakable.

Tenshi and Cyber (New oc, Addy’s AI assistant) are best friends, Cyber would always inside Tenshi’s software along.

He always change his voice. Since he is an android, he was able to uses his voice box to mechanically change his voice whatever he wanted to sound like or to find a fitting voice to sing with the song choice that he would perform which is why he prefer to be silent if he isn’t in a singing performances.

Tenshi has so many fangirls because of his singing and dancing performance. With his singing voice (which he had changed) and dancing performances pleasing them because he perform so sexy, seductive, cool and badass.

There are times when his fans thought or mistaking him that Tenshi might be a 1010 member despite Tenshi is an old 1010 model and he does not belong to Neon J anymore.

His favorite aesthetic and theme is; E-Boy fashion, Lovecore fashion, Emo and Gothic Punk theme, Bad boy theme, Soft boy theme and K-Pop inspired fashion.

Below is my inspiration and ideas of what I described Tenshi’s voice sound like

Facts about Tenshi’s voice:

Okay, I wanted Tenshi’s voice to be the same voice as 1010′s voice actor  Muhammad Zulhilmi, but I kinda wanted his voice to be a deeper and sexy voice because I wanted my 1010 oc to be an older version of Rin since he is a old discarded 1010 model.

So here are my inspiration of what I imagine his voice sounds like in detail;

Tenshi’s voice sounds like an older version of Rin which is mature, smooth talking and deep tone that sounds so similar to 1010′s voices. Tenshi speaks slowly, husky and raspy but people could hear and understand his sentence clearly. Tenshi’s mannerism and tone, he speaks so alluring, seductive, sexy and tempting but has a hint of gentleness, softness, timid, sweet and kind sounded like he was speaking so lovable and playful to a lover, soothing yet childish a child and polite sounded to an elder person. Finally, his main tone besides before is rather sounded exhausted, calm and quiet due to how shy and an ambiverts person who switch different personas.

Voices who I am inspired to imagine Tenshi’s voice:

Andrew Kreiss the Gravekeeper from Identity V (Tenshi’s voice mannerism way of speaking)

(Here a video below)

Corpse Husband from Youtube, You can find him there (Almost what Tenshi supposed to speak and the voice tone. Please don’t judge me because I can’t get over to this guy’s very deep voice)

Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle movie (Similar to the first one but exactly the sweet, polite, quiet tone and smooth talking type of voice tone)

[gothamdetected-a]

an idiots guide to gotham.

sim, i hear you say, what the hell are you doing? it’s gotham. everyone knows gotham. batman’s hometown. arkham asylum. what more is there to know?

surprisingly, a lot. 

for example, did you know that the it has been described as "Manhattan below Fourteenth Street at eleven minutes past midnight on the coldest night in November." which i think is one of the coolest descriptions of an aesthetic ever. thanks dennis. anyway, there’s a lot more to this city and it’s mad confusing history than first meets the eye, so in true sim fashion, i’m here to whoop dc into shape and attempt to make sense of it all. in the immortal words of coldplay “oh take me back to the start.”

as a geography nerd, i’d like to begin way way back. like continent forming era. star wars’ a long long time ago has got nothing on this. because really, why is gotham so plagued with crime and corruption? why is it perpetually cloudy and gloomy and dark? why is this tiny patch of american coastline continually the stage for insane events while everywhere else around it seems perfectly fine and chilling. 

it’s because of cthulu. 

well, kind of. seriously. apparently trapped beneath the actual earth of gotham is a lovecraftian-esque being who’s been chilling for 40,000 years. yeah, bet you didn’t know that. it even takes to calling itself “doctor gotham” after long enough, but that might just be a writer taking the piss out of dr manhattan, which honestly, im here for. so there’s some ancient slumbering god just poisoning what will become gotham, with it’s “evil essence” or whatever. there is a native american tribe who lives in the area - the miagani. in a croatoan-like fashion, they mysteriously disappear one day: no one knows exactly what happened to them, but there’s speculation of black magic and an insane shaman who goes all caesar on them and tries to develop a tyrannical rule, but they seal him in a cave and flee only to be slaughtered by a neighbouring tribe/a mysterious natural disaster. already this place is giving off the Not Good Vibes.    

some time later a bunch of colonists arrive, one of whom is named hiriam arkham. he tries to build a chapel, but it ends up being the site of a murder and so that idea is abandoned. the colonists later accidentally open the cave and release Deacon Blackfire (nasty shaman man), who is fairly immortal, definitely a shithead, and also becomes a batman adversary and a black lantern corp member/zombie in a few hundred years. fun. the colonists are never seen again. wonder what happened there.   

so the ground keeps being corrupted and drawing the nasties to it. one of these nasties is a norwegian mercenary, captain jon logerquist, who lands there circa 1635 with his crew, feels the heeby jeebies vibe and goes ah yes. this is where i shall settle. utter weirdo. so suddenly we have a city being formed - you guessed it, gotham city, also known simply as gotham. and everything is fairly chill for a while. the city is known to be a hideout for ruffians and smugglers, has a fairly higher proportion of stabbings and burglaries, but other than it being a bit of a lawless wasteland, it’s not, you know, any stranger than other pre-civil war american towns. at some point war for independence ( 1775–1783 ) rolls through, and there’s a fairly large battle that is long and bloody and doesn’t look like is going to be won so the founding fathers decide to do something extra stupid, and summon a bat-demon. yes, literally, a bat-demon. that they think will help them turn the tides of the battle. instead they realise it can’t be controlled, panic a bit, and end up trapping it beneath gotham, nice and snuggled next to fucking cthulu’s cousin. so gotham is now especially Cursed, and also starts gathering a large number of bat colonies in it’s underground cave system, because they’re all coming to worship this demon thing or w/e. 

next step is the civil war ( 1861-1865 ), and this is the first time we get a cobblepot in town - colonel nathan cobblepot to be precise. a couple of generations happen, and the town is growing into a city - at this point five of the families truly “found” gotham as a metropolitan and industrial hub, building bridges to connect the islands and forging the path to gotham as it is today. these five families are the cobblepots, the elliots, the crownes, the kanes and the waynes. these eventually become known as gotham’s oldest lineages, and it’s wealthiest, forming the future of gotham high society. however the cobblepots eventually end with penguin, and thomas elliot gets salty and becomes hush ,and the kanes and waynes decide to start dressing up as bats so it’s more like a cautionary tale than anything. 

around this time (1870), ra’s al ghul builds wonder city beneath gotham’s old town, and around a naturally occurring lazarus pit under the city. wonder tower becomes a spectacle of the gotham skyline, their equivalent to the empire state or big ben. eventually the project is abandoned, especially after mysterious disappearances, rumours of madness and strange sounds of rioting emerging from the nearly completed project. also occurring in this decade is the conversion of arkham manor into the elizabeth arkham sanatorium (which would later become arkham asylum) under the then heir, amadeus arkham. elizabeth commits suicide, a serial killer murders the rest of the family, save amadeus, who then goes mad and begins dabbling in the occult and experimenting on patients, eventually becoming one himself. despite all this, arkham asylum remains open, setting the scene for this to be one of the most tragic and fucked up buildings in america. 

another generation goes by and the wayne family produces solomon wayne, who will eventually become an incredibly important figure to gotham, partly because he is a judge and has a courthouse named after him and all that, but mostly because solomon wayne is the man who hires cyrus pinkney. who? you ask. literally the man responsible for gotham’s fucked up architecture. solomon wayne commissions him to create what he calls “gotham style” around 1890, and pinkney, heavily influenced by both cubist/surrealist design and the gothic revival, is the bastard who ensures everything has a gargoyle slapped on it and that gotham cathedral could literally be home to dracula. every inch of the city is covered in hidden meanings and mysticism, because, if you haven’t already guessed, pinkney was a bit nuts, but solomon wayne seems mighty pleased by this and it does actually boost gotham’s industry and cause people to relocate to it from the surrounding area. pinkney’s final piece de resistance is the statue the lady of gotham (officially named Justice opens her eyes to the world ) in the gotham harbour, yet another new york parallel. 

however as a result of booming capitalism and continued gentrification, gotham develops extreme poverty, with several areas of the city, specifically around the docks, the bowery and the narrows, becoming slums. crime levels continue to rise, and many writers take inspiration from chicago and new york mobs in the 30′s and 40′s, drawing parallels and creating organised crime, mafias and gangs. families like the maronis, falcones and thornes begin to take over the city, shaking down businesses for “protection” developing protsitution and drug running rings, importing weapons etc. gotham becomes seen nationally as a dark foreboding metropolis, where the ultra-rich one percenters drink champagne in their ivory towers while the poor of the city suffer and die. city planners also take this opportunity to go absolutely nuts, and build bomb shelters, underground highways, crazy sewer systems, you name it. after all, no one cares right? it’s gotham. by the time the cold war comes to a head, the city is literally riddled with layers of alleys and tunnels and walkways, all over burdened by the watchful eyes of giant bronze statues and stone grotesques.

then, thomas and martha wayne appear, and really start trying to change the city. they develop philantrophic interests, help to create the monorail, encourage the other wealthy elite of the city to care about the rotting corpse of gotham. change is slow, but it happens. the city starts to brighten up, vaguely, and the waynes become heralded as gotham’s saviours, becoming more than a household name. of course, they get shot, in an alleyway, by joe chill, and that same night batman is born. it takes him like 20 years to actually appear in the city, but boy when he does appear, he goes ham. this isn’t a batman meta tho, so i’ll keep it light on his backstory and involvement. 

batman tackles corruption in the city, purging the gcpd, bringing criminals to justice etc, all while bruce wayne makes his lauded return and begins trying to change things in the same way that his parents did - investing in the city, creating public services, developing grass roots projects in the worst affected areas of gotham. however, this city is quite literally Cursed and it all goes very wrong very quickly. 

first, ra’s al ghul unleashes the clench (also known as Ebola Gulf A virus) into gotham high society, and through the contagion storyline, a LOT of gothamites die. i think it’s like 40% but don’t quote me on that. the whole city is quarantined, but batman manages to save the day! hooray! wrong. the second disaster happens in the cataclysm arc - a 7.6 richter earthquake (although in my professional opinion this should probably be measured using the mercalli scale because you have to take into account the density of population etc in the area, but whatever, dc don’t study earthquakes like i do :/). as a result of these two events happening literally within months of each other, the entire city is declared a “no man’s land” by the US government. most civilians are evacuated, it is cut off from the mainland by destroying bridges and creating a military blockade and left to literally rot. no central government is applicable, no services are available, and very quickly gangs take over, carving up the city between them. imagine the purge but never ending. that’s gotham. huntress and oracle and the remaining scraps of the gcpd try to keep some kind of order, while bruce fucks off to petition the government into not being dicks and fixing the city rather than abandoning it.  eventually, he comes back, batman battles a lot of people, luthor donates enough money to save the city and gotham is rebuilt and repatriated as part of the us. 

then the next big events include: 

• henri ducard as ra’s al ghul tries to cover the city in fear toxin after teaming up with scarecrow. the narrows is especially targeted. 

• steph accidentally starts a gang war after going through batman’s stuff unsupervised. for a while black mask rules gotham.

• hugo strange convinces the gotham city council to let him have old gotham, which he converts into arkham city. eventually wonder tower explodes and the “city” is shut down, cut off from the rest of gotham. 

• scarecrow successfully releases his fear toxin over gotham via the cloudburst system. most civilians have already been evacuated, but the city is thrown into ruin and chaos.   

these are just the biggest points though, and the ones which help to tie film, comics and games together. my favourite part of gotham i haven’t even talked about yet. but i’m gonna. here we go. 

gotham is chronologically removed. 

obviously time progresses there, but there is a immense sense of timelessness. gotham does not move on with the rest of the world. there’s a huge mash of different eras and styles. there are airships in the sky and maglev monorails on the ground, people use typewriters alongside touch screen laptops, buildings are either twisted gothic nightmares or glistening modern skyscrapers. the time frame that should be obvious from the setting is completely ambiguous. and it’s brilliant, because really it means that the time is not important. it could be set anywhere, anywhen. gotham looks almost the same in the 40s as it does in 2020, and it means that batman and these events can be slotted into pretty much any decade. batman can be born in 1939 or 1969 or 1999 and it still all works. it’s a mash up of modern expressionism and constructivism and art deco and gothic revival and surrealism and space-age futurism and industrialism and honest to god i could literally talk about this all day. but i mustnt so i shall stop now.  

basically the tldr here is that i have a fetish for urban decay, gotham was fucked from day 1 due to some bullshit evil god beneath it, and literally house prices must be so low, because who the hell would want to live there. 

[sophielovesbooks]

10 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @thewalkingnerdx so first of all, thank you so much! <3 I really enjoyed reading all of your answers to your questions. Your WIPs sound super interesting! And as a general rule, I often take ages to actually reply to tags, but I ALWAYS love being tagged and simply respond when I find the time, so please don’t stop tagging me, I really appreciate it! :)

Rules: answer 10 questions, ask another 10, then tag 10 people.

1. Do you have a writing routine? 

Hm, not really, but I love to do my writing first thing in the morning. So when possible, I just get up in the morning, get some coffee or tea and sit down to write for an hour or two. (The downside is that I often struggle to get into a writing mood later in the day, and if I have something else to do in the morning, that often means no writing for that entire day…) 

2. Talk about the first story you've ever written!

Heh. Oh God. I started writing pretty much as soon as I could write! My first stories were little “books” that I made by folding the paper in a special way, with drawings and only a few speech bubbles with the very few words I could write, and I guess it evolved from there. In one of the first, I “wrote” about a little witch flying around on her broom, I think? Oh, and I wrote my first novel in third grade (80 handwritten pages, haha), and it was a typical horse story! 

3. Music on or music off?

Usually off, because it distracts me too much. I also often mumble the words out loud while writing. But sometimes I listen to a particular song in the beginning to get in the proper mood for a scene. 

4. What is the aesthetic of your current Wip?

Very pastel. Soft tones. Sunrises and sunsets. Shooting stars and constellations. Beautiful beaches. Two girls holding hands for the first time...

5. Something you're particularly proud of? (Could be a character arc, a scene, a plot twist, or all of that)

The general fact that I’ve already finished 4 proper novels in my life. The last time this happened was 5 years ago, so I’ve been struggling with finishing something for a while now, but the fact that I wrote 4 complete novels as a teen makes me proud and gives me a bit of hope sometimes. 

6. What is a genre you'd never touch?

I can’t promise that I’ll never touch them, but I’m really not a big fan of Sci-Fi. And of historical stuff. 

7. A piece of media that inspired you a lot? (Could be a book, a movie, a TV show, a podcast, literally anything)

Definitely the Dublin Murder Squad series. In my opinion, Tana’s writing is perfect. (And Alice Oseman’s books, such as Radio Silence, have also been really inspiring.)

8. A writing rule you always follow?

This is not a hard rule, but I’ve always written my novels in order, starting with the first scene and ending with the last. That’s not the only way to do it, of course, and a lot can be said for other methods, but it seems to work that way for me. Another rule might be that I always plan first, write then. For example, when I was 14, I spent 6 months planning a novel, then 6 months writing it. 

9. A writing rule you absolutely despise?

“Kill your darlings”. Maybe I’ve misunderstood it or something, but my dad once explained to me that I should cut out anything I was particularly proud of and thought was especially good and I was just like: “What the heck?! No! Why would I do that”

10. Finally, imagine you are a published author. You are at a convention, and a fan is praising your work. What are they telling you? 

Oh my God, imagining this situation feels like such hybris! But I hope that they would tell me that they could relate to my characters? And since I’m writing queer YA at the moment... it’d be great if it ever helped anybody in figuring out their identity/sexuality. 

These were really good questions and will be hard to follow up, but I’ll try: 

1. Which of your characters would you most like to have as a friend?  2. Where do you usually go to write? 3. Why do you write? (A tough one, I know) 4. A trope you hate?  5. Which genre do you most like to write?  6. Do you write only original work or also fanfiction?  7. If you could switch places with one of your characters and live their life instead of yours, would you do it? If yes, which one and why? 8. Do you think characters have to suffer for a book to be good? 9. Planner or pantser? 10. If you plan your stories, where do you plan them? In a special project folder,a word document, a physical notebook...?

I’m tagging… @augustinianseptember @writer-cj-blackwell @writing-with-tea @stardustscribes @bettsican @bisexual-in-progress @leave-her-a-tome @waterfallwritings @para-di-siac @miss-nerd-alert

No pressure, of course, but I’d be interested in ya’ll’s responses! :)

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, DIANA! You’ve been accepted for the role of DIANA. Admin Rosey:  There is a freshness and charm that Daphne brings to everything - her interviews, her conversations, her reasoning. This decision was not at all an easy one because both applications highlighted different aspects of her that we love and adore. But ultimately it was this voice, this distinctly Daphne voice that brought the decision to a close. She makes you fall in love with her that much more. I can't to see what she does when you bring her to life on the dash!  Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Diana

Age | 21

Preferred Pronouns | she/her/hers

Activity Level | y’all know, but I’m about to graduate college + be unemployed for a bit, so I’ll have writing time.

Timezone | PST

How did you find the rp?  | Div Stanning since 2017.

Current/Past RP Accounts | Castora’s account.

IN CHARACTER

Character | Daphne Adèle Allard / Diana

What drew you to this character? | Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Daphne knows this, even if the crown she wears is a halo of thornless roses – and she fucking loves that halo, no matter what the cost is. What draws me to Daphne is that even though she’s an impeccable pickpocket, even though she loves power, and even though she’s got plenty of vices despite her cherubic features,  Daphne loves. She knows what it’s like to suffer (even if it’s not like what others have gone through) and she wants to do something. She wants to help, but how much of that is her ego and how much of that is genuine is ambiguous. There’s that line between a good person and someone who does  good deeds that’s very blurred when it comes to Daphne, and that fascinates me. She looks like someone who would get chewed up and spit out by the mafia, but her light shines brighter. In some ways, she’s like an anti-Marie Antoinette; she’s got that aesthetic, but she’s too bright to do a “Let them eat cake” moment (even though I know she didn’t actually say that) or play peasantry at a fancy cottage. She’s privileged and beloved and smart enough to know how to combine the two.  I also find it fascinating that she almost wishes that she was that princess in an ivory tower – so everyone could be safe – and that while she embodies a little of that trope, she’s this really interesting reversal, where she’s both the princess and the dragon. There’s this interplay between the corruption of power and the trope that the people who don’t want power are the ones best suited for it; Daphne is not as angelic as she looks. She wants to save. She wants to be a heroine. She is hesitant of the power she wants to wield because she knows herself too well. But at the same time, there’s nothing wrong with wanting power. Power and goodness is a zero-sum game, especially in Verona. There’s also something relatable about Daphne that I really like, as her experience with getting bullied is reminiscent of my own. She’s incredibly beautiful, incredibly rich, incredibly powerful, and incredibly adored, but she’s still relatable, or at least, knows how to manage her image so that she comes across as aspirational and human, as well. Also, I adore that she’s 31. She’s got some naivete, but she’s a grown-ass woman with her own ambitions. In addition, her mob name is my name, and I’m shallow.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | (1)  A CROWN FOR YOUR PRINCESS – Daphne doesn’t look like it, but she’s got ambition. Right now, she has not let the fact that’s sees a member of organized crime taint her. She is deified, but there is yet to be blood on her hands. I think it would be interesting for Daphne’s mask of heroism to be pushed when she has to do something truly horrible, truly unforgivable in the name of the Capulet’s. Her desire to do good with her desire to get (and keep) her power at war with one another is interesting to me, and I think pushing her to define her moral compass (or lack thereof) and figuring out where she wants to go in the mob power structures could be interesting to play out. (2) A HEART FULL OF LOVE? - Daphne is a lover. She wants love. She wants it to be real. But she’s also engaged to a man that she doesn’t love and is fascinated by Renzo to the point that he’s described as her Achilles’ Heel. Beau can help her get everything she wants – on the paper, they are a fairytale couple – but he doesn’t inspire passion in her yet; at the same time, she would be upset if he were to step out on her. I think it could be interesting to see Daphne’s own feelings for Beau become more real and have to deal with the implications of real love. Because Daphne wants power. She wants to be a heroine. She wants to be adored. But all she’s let the world see is a mask, a symbol. Not a real woman. And it’s impossible to love a symbol; you can be cherished and adored, but never truly, heartbreakingly loved in the way that she wants to be. (3) O, DEATH – Something about Daphne’s bio that fascinated me is that it describes Beau as an Apollo figure whom Daphne sees more like Hades – a man of death, of isolation, and of riches. She’s darkness where there is light. But Daphne is more of the same – she is Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, but she has her own affair with the darkness inside of her. She is a Persephone and her own Hades. She knows she’s capable of great horrors, and that she could destroy Verona if she wants to. It would be interesting to see Daphne be pushed to that darker place where she wants the city that she adores to burn. People want to destroy beautiful things. Daphne and Verona are both beautiful, and ripe for rot.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | (Devastatingly) yes.

IN DEPTH

Please choose between the interview or the para sample (or both, if you like!)

In-Character Interview: The following questions must be answered in-character, and in para form (quotations, actions written out if applicable, etc). There is no minimum or maximum limit for your response - simply answer as you would if you were playing the character.

What is your favorite place in Verona? She smooths down her hair, subconsciously rearranging the artful brown curls. Daphne doesn’t need to double or triple check in the mirror whether her lipstick is perfect or her eyeliner is crisp. She knows her angles. She knows herself. And she agreed to this interview. Not to talk about her love life, but to talk about the shelter she had just joined the board of. “I’m a Verona girl through and through,” Daphne laughs. “You’re a Verona native, too – right, Signora? You know that this city can be a lot, putting it mildly. And you know I’m just not being facetious when I say that it’s hard to pick a favorite spot. Hmm…but if I had to pick, I’d pick the Castelvecchio Bridge. For so long, it was a symbol of unity in our divided city. My parents used to take me on long walks around the city when I was little, and I remember stopping and looking out over the river. I just have fond memories of Verona at that bridge. And it’s so horrible what happened – the explosion. To have that bright for the city get taken away, it’s just horrible. I’ve been working with the Verona’s Children Relief Fund to help civilian parents who’ve lost their jobs due to the explosion. They’ve been working with families hurt by Verona’s mob war for over a decade, and really, they’re work is incredible. For example, Carlotta Alberti. She’s a single mother living in Borgo Roma with the cutest 12-year-old ever. Give me a sec –” Daphne pulls out her phone and shows the interviewer a picture of her posing with Carlotta and her son, Leo. “The warehouse Carlotta worked in was damaged during the explosion and it hasn’t been rebuilt. She’s got bills to pay. She’s got a kid to provide a future for. Through the Relief Fund, we’ve managed to set Carlotta up with an entry-level position at Falco & Company that has full benefits and room for her to grow.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

Daphne grits her teeth. She knows the interviewer means no harm with this question. It’s a chance to show that she’s vulnerable and that even though she’s been blessed to the Heavens with fortune, good looks and renown, Daphne Adèle Allard still has it in her to be a woman of the people. And a woman of the people is good, and kind, and loving, and doesn’t think badly of others. Still, the first thought that pops into her head is Beau. Arrogant, useless, cold-hearted man, Daphne thinks, careful not to let her absolute frustration with her husband-to-be show on her face. “That’s a hard question to answer,” Daphne starts. “Not because I haven’t made mistakes. God knows that I have.” Her heart thunders. Daphne Allard could never escape the feeling that she was on the precipice of destruction – not of herself, but of destroying others. “It’s just that I’m a perfectionist, you know? When I do something, I need to do it right because people are counting on me. A mistake is a ripple that can turn into a tsunami.” The interviewer nods, seemingly embarrassed at having to draw attention to the fact that Daphne avoided her previous question. “But if you had to say?”

Daphne only smiles. “Not coming back to Verona sooner. I love France with all my heart, but Verona is my home. I was away for quite a while. There’s this French saying – Petit a petit, l’oiseau fait son nid. Little by little, the bird makes its nest. And I really want to make my nest here.”

The lady nods. “So, are you excited for marriage then?” “You have no idea.” You really don’t.

“Have you talked about kids, yet?” “We’ve discussed it,” Daphne responds coyly.

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? When in doubt, pivot to the wedding – Daphne had learned this at a young age. Everyone adores a blushing bride. “This is a ‘I need to check my privilege’ moment, but can I say planning a wedding? There’s so much that goes into it. Finding a good venue, good security. Finding a dress when you’ve got curves is not as easy as Say Yes to the Dress makes it look. Beau and I are trying our best to plan a sustainable wedding. We haven’t announced the list of charities yet, but we intend to do a no-gift policy. Instead, we’d like to ask our friends and family to donate to an organization on the yet-to-be announced list.” Beau and Daphne had discussed no such thing….at least, not in earnest, but no one needed to do that. “Okay, but in all seriousness – one of the hardest things I’ve been asked to do is forgive. I was bullied a lot as a child because I dared to be fat. I looked different from the other girls at school, and they let me know it. I remember every taunt, every oink made behind my back, every time someone tried to put me on a crash diet. It took a toll on my self-esteem. Every insecurity I have got magnified. And I really hated those girls. And hate really hurts you; generally speaking, it hurts you more than the other people. Since my engagement, a few people who were not the nicest to me reached out to see how I was filling out my bridal party.” “Seriously?” She asks. “Seriously. For them, the past didn’t matter. But for me, it did. I couldn’t look in a mirror for a year, and even though I’ve moved on, and I love myself and I love my life and I found someone who loves me for me –” Oh, how she wishes that were true. “ – There was still this resentment in my heart that I struggled to let go of. Forgiving those small deep cuts when there’s no apology, no remorse, nothing, was difficult. But I had to do it for myself. Those girls – maybe they’ve changed; I’m an optimist who thinks people are capable of that. Perhaps I’m a bit old-fashioned? Regardless of who they are, I don’t have to go back to being that sad, lonely little girl because they messaged me.” She pauses and adds,  “I’m lucky, you know, that these are the extent of my problems.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? Everyone and their mother wants to know the answer to this. Daphne has been answering this question for years. The Allard family had long ties to the Capulets, but Daphne was not going to go about advertising that or her own role in the mob. “The rivalry has been going on for years. There’s a lot of wounds on both sides,” Daphne starts. “I want peace for the people of Verona who’ve been caught in the cross-fire.” That’s why I am an emissary for the Capulets. To help, she thinks. I am a relatively high-ranking Capulet emissary because I want to be. She thrived in the darkness, in the cold, just as much as she thrived in the light. A lie. She shone in the darkness, but she craved the light. How badly Daphne Allard wanted to be bright, and shining, and good. “I’m just thinking about the Festival of Love,” Daphne starts, subtly pointing fingers at the Montagues. “So much chaos that didn’t need to happen.”

Extras: If you have anything else you’d like to include (further headcanons, an inspo tag, a mock blog, etc), feel free to share it here! This is OPTIONAL.

Her favorite movie is Amelie

Daphne patronizes numerous charities, but has no set one up in her own name yet. She wants to set up something that could help with homelessness in the city.

She is a Virgo (born August 29th)

Daphne is an ENFJ

She enjoys watching Bon Appetit videos

PLAYLIST (as in, a playlist Daphne would have on her Spotify account)

La Vie en Rose by Edith Piaf

Pavane for a Dead Princess by Maurice Ravel

Primadonna by Marina & the Diamonds

Petite Suite by Claude Debussy

Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

Spring (Four Seasons) by Antonio Vivaldi

Waking Up Slow by Gabrielle Aplin

Elegie by Gabriel Faure

Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley

Mother Goose Suite by Maurice Ravel

Non je ne regrette rien by Edith Piaf

[whetstonefires]

hey for the 40 questions thing, 9, 10 and 28??

Okay first of all, massive props to you for sending a signed ask, that’s so rare, I did the hugest double take at your not being a Nonny. 😂💗 Anonymous asks are fine and all when people are being pleasant, but it’s always a little weird because my brain flips back and forth between treating all anon asks as being from the same faceless entity and being perfectly aware that the sender is a person, may or may not be the same person as any previous ask, and may even have a name I recognize. Internet gothic.

9) Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Oof. Quantifying that is...tricky, especially if I consider all my Cirque segments as separate fics. Disqualifying those, and everything that never made it to post-ready because it defeated me in the borning....

But A Walking Shadow is sort of Earth-3 adjacent but my battle with it is the battle with the compulsion to try to hew close to canon even after very deliberately tossing it out the window in chapter 1 on the grounds of ‘too goshdarn depressing, everyone is alive at all times.’ Stg the Titans death rate is so wild, after they got the go-ahead to start just making characters up they were allowed to kill people basically whenever, because nobody else needed them for anything.

And special mention should go to the 10k ‘chapter’ of my 5+1 AU collection fic that I finally posted just recently, after several years ago it decided that it wanted to be a full-length novel. But Self (I said) I Don’t Want To Develop An Entire Economy And Political History For The FFVII Setting So Cloud Can Make His Adopted Big Brother Be In Charge Of It! So that has kicked my ass pretty thoroughly. For about four years. 😂 I finally forced the opening (where Shinra collapses and small Sephiroth is abandoned in Nibelheim and Mrs. Strife finds him) to be done, and posted that.

But the thing is, neither of these would have expanded in the way they have and managed to destroy me so thoroughly were they not, in certain ways, extremely easy to write. So they seem like they can’t be the real correct responses.

So I guess the winner is that Red Hood And The Outlaws 10K fic I still owe to an anon whom I can’t consult about specs or anything because they made the request anonymously. Because I had to read Lobdell’s vol 2 run to fulfill the request and as some of you will recall, this process slaughtered me. I cannot with Lobdell. After great suffering I ran aground repeatedly on the shoals of Brainzarro.

NONNY IF YOU’RE STILL OUT THERE PLEASE CONTACT ME I’M VERY SORRY FOR BEING OVER A YEAR LATE, WE NEED TO TALK.

10) Which fic has been the easiest to write?

 Ooh, this is hard to assess for similar reasons. Sometimes stuff that took less effort wasn’t actually easier as-such, as a task, I just chose not to do it as well or as thoroughly; does that count?

Chaptered stories are inherently harder, of course, but generally the reason my chapter fics got so long in the first place was they were extraordinarily easy to write, and a great deal of them happened without too much suffering on my part. Either because the premise posed no significant complexities, or because I found it perennially inspiring.

Eventually that sort of progress always hits a wall, though, at least if you’re me. And you have to do the Work part. (This is pretty universal afaik.) I have several one-shot AUs to which continuations have been requested and in many cases sketched or begun, but not finished or posted because in addition to fleshing out the worldbuilding I have to grapple with questions like how much further I can take this concept without abandoning the particular tone in which I told the first part, and whether the tone or perspective I used is in fact the chief draw and so there’s no point.

This I eventually determined to be the case for ‘the tune without the words,’ the one where Jim Gordon runs into post-Under The Hood Jason at a bar, thinks he’s a traumatized veteran, and tries to recruit him to the GCPD.

There’s a plot there about Police Officer Jason, and the batfam reactions and interpersonal drama and whether and when and how Jason would fuck it up, and the identity porn of Batman knowing that Officer Todd Peters is the Red Hood and finding that telling Jim and not telling Jim seem equally unconscionable...but it’s not the same story as that scene in the bar. It’s the story that happens next, because of it. So I cut the bar scene loose from its hypothetical plot and posted it and it’s been quite well-liked.

But it’s certainly not the easiest, even though most of what’s in the posted fic went together fairly readily iirc, because giving up on making the subsequent story happen was such a fight.

...

What is ‘easy?’ What is ‘a fic?’ Watch me perish yet again at the intersection of epistemology and ontology. There are no simple questions there is only doom.

28) Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

OKAY THIS IS A DIFFERENT DIFFICULT. At least I’m not being asked to pick my Most Favorite, I’m so bad at favorites, I have to deduce my own favorite tea from behavioral cues.

I’m in the for-me bizarre position that more than three people whose fic I really enjoy are like, friends of mine and might see this. I cannot say any of them, the ones excluded would be Excluded, which I cannot do. So strangers only! Semi-randomly selected from my catalogue of faves!

Okay, let’s see. First one...AO3 user elanor_pam. We technically share no fandoms but I read their stuff for some reason (someone’s AO3 bookmarks I’m sure) and they just. They have really good sentences. I wind up caring intensely about whatever the story is about even if I have literally no idea what it is. And dialogue that’s just that really sweet balance of stylized and naturalistic. 

I’m following their fantasy webcomic The Path To Timbala, which is really good so far and also I’m doing the art historian/birdwatcher thing I do with like astolat where it’s like ‘hmm, yes, I recognize that theme/story element/aesthetic preference/pacing trick from [fanwork], how interesting to see it unfiltered through anyone else’s worldbuilding!’

Second. Mm. Slightly arbitrarily and on almost opposite grounds, Persephone_Kore, who hasn’t updated in like four years but contributed to a majority of my favorite fics in the Girl Genius fandom, which is not a crowded one, and wrote a couple others solo. Good combination of humor with pretty faithful characterization. Good rhythm in sentence composition, which allows for humorous asides without breaking narrative flow.

Third...hm, I’m gonna pick metisket for the distressing ability to drag my guts clear out on almost any topic. But especially fullmetal alchemist. Mostly I like that one AU where Al is dead and Ed is homicidally insane. But like, constructively.

None of these people are still writing fic and the webcomic just went on hiatus for six weeks, I am useless as a source of recs, have a nice day. 😂💞

[eshithepetty]

wholesome mp100 things:

(Because I really like to ramble about this show and I just thought I'd compile some things I appreciate about it):

Bottling up feelings? Nuh uh, bad idea, better have realistic and well paced development of you opening up more and learning to accept your emotions, kiddo.

Self!! Respect!! Not just learning it in a 'oh, I love myself, flaws and all' way, but the actual process of trying really hard to actually be proud of oneself, even when it's hard to see yourself as anything but terrible. It's all in the gradual changes and small moments of taking your own feelings into account!!

An actual adult? Actually acknowledging?? How actually fucked up all the shit the kids of the show have to go through is??? And going out of their way to lessen their weight of responsibility, and to protect them and offering them comfort, like,,, yes please!!!

'Huh...? You want? World domination?? What a ridiculous concept. What are you even going to do with that? People need other people, dummy. Honestly, you're acting more childish than the actual children here.'

Everyone!! Is!! Equal!! Yes, you may have god-like powers that could literally fling me into the stratosphere and I might be an actual sewer rat incarnate, but as people?? We all still long for the same validation. We all have the same rights. We're all human.

Not?? Sexualising any of the female/kid characters? Tbh, I don't really feel at my best giving points to a show for this, since it shouldn't be that surprising in the first place, but still, and I think this is easily overshadowed by all the thirst Bones has for Reigen, but that's the thing! They're putting all their (tbh not that creepy really and in character) fanservice into one grown man and that's!! Really great! Thank you Reigen for being our sacrifical lamb

On the subject of not sexualizing kids, Tsubomi, Mob's crush, while being portrayed as very pretty, is not sexualized at all either, and Mob's fantasies about her entirely consist of them just,, doing stuff like holding hands and walking home together?? Not even kissing or anything like that??? It's just so innocent and cute, gosh... also the fact that Tsubomi and the rest of the girls aren't stereotypes, but have their own lives that don't revolve around the boys and interesting personalities that are very distinct from each other, even if they don't get as much screentime as the boys :> (also, Tome being a protagonist in the Reigen spin-off manga!!)

Dealing with anxiety and dependency and manipulation/abuse, when you're an adult?? I honestly can't say I've seen too much of anything concerning this anywhere,,, Serizawa is so good

And all the adults for that matter!! All the villains! Their redemption arcs are all about intergrating into society again and learning to have a realistic worldview and all around getting well rounded as people. That's pretty inspiring, imo!

Also, Reigen, an adult, realising that he was being unfair to Mob, a kid, and specifically saying he was 'caging him in', instead of using excuses like 'trying to protect him" and trying his hardest to fix his life and mistakes before confronting him, and when he does, doesn't expect Mob to accept or forgive him or want to be friends with him again?? And tearing up for the first time on the show just from being a called good person by him,,,? That was honestly so tearjerking and pure and that arc made me feel the full range of human emotion.

Speaking of Reigen, the fact that all of his friends, for the longest time, are a bunch of middle schoolers, and that he has basically fathered them all is such a funny, yet heartwarming and also a bit sad and complicated thing, all at once, to think about.

The body improvement club!!!!! Super supportive and protective jocks, the absolute opposite of toxic masculinity. Thank you ONE for bringing us this gift.

The fact that every one of Mob's friends would likely kill, or at least give a very stern lecture to anyone who ever tries hurting him is amazing and sweet. The same goes for Mob, a big pacifist at heart, putting his strict morals on hold and fighting just for the safety of his friends, and sometimes even strangers or enemies. They're all just so protective and I absolutely love it,,,,

By the way!! Mob!!! I love that he's not a stereotypical cinnamon roll protagonist who is always pure. Like, he has his dark moments. He has hurt people. Sometimes, he's geniunely scary. But the fact that he's so aware of his faults and how much damage he could inflict, and thus tries so hard to better himself every day and to always stay on good morals, and always strives to understand and help people above all else, even through all the suffering he's gone through and all the power he posseses, is what truly makes him so kind and lovable. He's just.... grown so much. I'm immensely proud of him <3

Power of friendship, but done right, because they don't use bonds as some convenient power up, but rather primarily as a tool for character development, that, in turn, helps them become better and more stable and capable people ^^

The fact that the protagonist getting stronger in this show doesn't mean them gaining more power or becoming more book smart, but instead entails them learning to better understand people and to let others understand them as well so that confrontation can be as civilized and nonviolent as possible and become a better tool for helping everyone involved improve themselves is such a direct yet nuanced way of presenting how solutions can be made to real world problems and conflicts, and it's just such a different aproach to the usual shonen aesthetic of power being the defining factor on deciding who wins or loses.

In fact, a lot of the time there is no clear 'winner' of a fight. Sure, we certainly get to understand which side is stronger physically, but the impact those factors play into the characters' mental states and development is usually very removed from those results. A character technically winning can result in them plunging into a meltdown full of self loathing. A character losing often brings a very positive change in their life. Those experiences change the characters in different ways than just winning - positive or losing - negative.

The message that you don't need to be special! Everyone is fundimentally equal, so you being more or less special than anyone else is just flawed as a mindset. Reaching for the top is alright as long as you remember that the thing that matters the most is just trying to be kind.

Mob being widely recognized as autistic in the fandom!! A lot of characters having the capability to be seen as neurodivergent, actually. But even if it isn't intentional coding from the creator, all the messages about how people expressing themselves differently doesn't make them any less human or valid, how conventional isn't always the best, how being empathetic can manifest in wildly different ways and also the reoccurring theme of dealing with trauma etc. are still very much there and impact the narrative and characters a whole lot.

How the story was even able to become so popular, despite the nature of ONE's art!! Also, how the anime creators decided to stay faithful, even tho they had the opportunity to change the art style to something more conventional and not go as hard as they did, but nope, they admire and respect the source material and clearly have so much passion for this project, putting all kinds of talent and creativity and effort into every episode!!! They seem like they're having a lot of fun with it, and I'm very glad.

(Feel free to add more!!!)