#it's not my humour and it didn't actually move me as much as some of the other films

[hankscorpios]

it's a rare year where I've actually seen all of the best picture nominees so here's my ranking:

1. Banshees

2. TÁR

3. Top Gun 2

4. Women Talking

5. Elvis

6. The Fabelmans

7. EEAAO

8. Triangle of Sadness

9. Im Westen nichts Neues

10. Avatar 2

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[angelicblondie]

what about luke castellan x ballerina!reader but she had to give up ballet when she went to camp and he like finds her dancing in the forest one night. maybe when he’s a little busy with like backstabbing everyone but yk🤷‍♀️

(like meet me in the pale moonlight or tomorrow never came coded like ughh😩😩)

wait...i adore this. as a dancer this made my heart actually jump for joy.

every night, luke was plagued with dreams. the not good kind, more specifically.

it started a few months ago. the deep ancient voice of a titan long imprisoned would echo through his mind, urging his darkest desires of revenge and shameful need for power to the forefront of his thoughts. he was angry, angry at the gods for ignoring him and all their other children. he wanted to stop this system, he was full of bitterness.

so the voice in his head was appealing. he knew that it probably wasn't morally good to listen to the evil titan kronos, but then again, if it all ended up with the system of the gods abolished, he could live with that.

but anyways, the point is, dreams invaded the peace luke found in his unconscious state, and sometimes, it was too much. sure, he agreed with the titan, but he wasn't ready to abandon home and betray his friends, not when they were the only ones who accepted him. he couldn't do that, no matter how much to words appealed to him.

so, when the hermes cabin felt suffocating, and his mind was reeling, late at night, luke would venture off into the woods.

luke felt at comfort with the odd eeriness that filled the late night air - he didn't jump or flinch at the sounds of leaves crunching or bushes rustling - he felt at peace with the scary.

that was, until he saw footsteps in the mud.

curious, luke followed the trail, until he reached an more open area of the forest, and he leaned up against a tree, taking in the sight in front of him with pure curiosity.

there you were, wearing grey sleep shorts, a black tank top, and a pink cardigan, dancing in the middle of this forest.

you seemed to be in your own world, sneakers planted in the ground as you did some simple plies, and luke watched, transfixed by the sight. your hair was tied up by a pink ribbon, and you had the most peaceful expression on your face, not one luke had ever seen before.

you were relatively new to camp, only having arrived in the past year. you were quickly claimed by your mother, aphrodite, and gained a fast group of friends and a positive reputation. luke and you hadn't talked much - sure, he gave you your tour, and the two of you had got on quite well, but once you got claimed, he didn't have much time to talk to you, given the rapid enthusiasm of your siblings.

he didn't know you were a dancer, a good one in fact. you elegantly pranced around, your feet moving quickly yet gracefully. luke was mesmerized - he had never really seen anything like it, like you. you seemed so free - so unburdened by the struggles of being a demi god. just you, alone (kind of?), dancing - luke guessed like every other demigod, you had found your own way to feel normal in this crazy world.

eventually, your eyes caught luke, and you stumbled back, imidiatley flushing. gods, you were mortified!

"l-luke? what are you doing here?" you exclaimed indignantly.

luke remained leaned up against the tree, the corners of his lips tilting upwards. "was on a walk, happend to come across you."

you huff. "how long have you been there?"

he shrugs, standing up straight. "not long." he walks forwards a bit, closer to where you stood. "you dance?"

wasnt it obvious? you thought, but awkwardly twiddled your thumbs. "well, used to, i guess. cant really anymore, cause....you know." you say, your voice somewhat shy.

luke humed in recognition. "yeah, the whole demigod thing doesnt help. wouldnt be fun if a cyclops showed up to a rectial, huh?" he said, the dry yet teasing humour in his voice elicited a giggle from your lips. "guess not," you agree softly, your eyes twinkling happily.

luke, feeling a little bashful, rubbed the back of his neck. "uh, your really good by the way. i feel a bit bad interrupting, you were in the zone."

you bite your lip, feeling a bit embarrassed. "yeah well, theres never really time to dance anymore, so i guess whenever i cant sleep i come out here to." you look him up and down. "is that why you're out here? you cant sleep?"

luke hums. "yeah. nightmares," he simplifies, his thoughts being brought back to the reason he left his cabin.

you blow out a breath of air. "hate those," you mumble.

luke observes you. "you enjoying camp?" he asks, changing subject.

you smile a little, nodding. "yeah, its different then what i thought it would be. it actually been really great, my sibling have been super welcoming," you say, your voice sounding so genuine and enthusiastic it was hard for luke not to smile.

his lips quirk up, eyes filled with a bit of mischief. "yeah, well, camp'll do that for you."

you bite your lip, almost as if you were contemplating your next words. "y'know, i haven't seen much of you since i got here. you must be busy."

luke chuckles a bit. "why, have you been looking for me?"

his flirty words heated your cheeks and you let out a nervous laugh. "no!" yes. "i was just wondering."

luke poked his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "right, right."

you talked for a little longer, before luke escorted you back to your cabin. you thanked him with a quick kiss to the cheek before running inside, and luke walked back to his own cabin, distracted from the overbearing titan in his dreams, even if only for a little while.

[libraryofloveletters]

Portugal Pretenders

Virgil Van Dijk x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fake dating, the boys love to tease virg, past players make an appearance, takes place at robbo's wedding (I just made up random dates, forgive me if it's not accurate lmao), begging for a favour, wedding softness, some teasing, alcohol and the consumption of, a few awkward moments, julia and thiago are their biggest fans, some nsfw humour, virg doesn't know how to use an iron, some childishness at the end, all around sweetness.

Word Count: 7.9k

Author's Note: okay, I've come back to bring you all a new virg fic, since you've been living in my inbox, asking for it. hopefully you like it as much as I do.

---

"And this one's for you," Andy says, passing the light green envelope over to Virgil, catching his friend on his way out. "You've got a plus one, make sure you bring that girlfriend of yours you're always talking about."

Virgil nods, a smile on his face as he takes the invite from Andy. The panic fills his head, slowly moving down to his chest as he walks out of the training centre.

Andy's wedding was coming up in a few weeks. The boys have known about it for months, and as much as Andy insisted to Rachel that they don't need actual invites, she still sent them with her husband to be.

The defender finds himself driving home, thinking about how on earth he was going to find someone to join him at this wedding.

See, the thing was, the boys thought he was seeing something. That wasn't a total lie, as he was seeing someone but it ended as quickly as it started. He wasn't sure how to tell his friends that it was over and it spiralled, coming up with random details to tell them every time they asked about this non-existent girlfriend.

He didn't think Andy would go as far as giving him a plus one.

Virgil pulls into the driveway, opening the envelope as he reads the invite.

Celebrating the marriage of Andy Robertson and Rachel Roberts.

Rehearsal Dinner: July 2nd, 2022 at 7pm

Wedding Ceremony: July 3rd, 2022 at 3pm - Evening Reception to follow.

Join us in Faro, Portugal!

The rest of the details were on the back of the card, the invite was white with green accents to match the envelope. Must be their theme, he thinks, making a mental note to see if he has anything green to match.

He gets out of the car, putting the envelope in his pocket when he sees his neighbour, y/n, pulling into her driveway. He waves to her, the woman smiles at him as she pops her trunk open, a million bags waiting to be taken into the house.

"Need some help?" He offers, crossing the lawn to her driveway.

You smile, nodding. "Sure. Thank you, Virgil."

Virgil starts taking the bags out of the trunk, carrying them over to the front door as you unlock it. "I'm surprised you're home so early." He says.

"Keeping tabs on me?"

"No," he shakes his head, cheeks red. "I meant.. I usually see you come in late."

"Closed the clinic early today, we've got a staff party tomorrow, hence.." You gestured to the bags. Virgil nods, helping her carry them into her kitchen.

The two of you were on friendly terms, Virgil often helped you out around the house if you were busy. Despite being a footballer, he tended to take care of the yard work and you stopped by to make sure were in order at his place if he was away for a match or pre season training.

"How about a cup of tea?" You offered and he smiled, "you sure? I don't want to be a bother."

"Not a bother at all, make yourself at home. It's the least I could do to thank you for your help."

"It wasn't much help, I only carried the bags to the kitchen." He chuckles, sitting on a stool by the counter.

You shrugged, "still. It would have taken me like, 12 trips to get all of them, you used your big footballer muscles and did it in one."

Virgil smiles, watching as you filled the kettle with water and took two mugs out of the cupboard across from him; one with little flowers along the rim of it and the other a red mug Liverpool logo on the front.

"Surprised you have that," he says, you drop the teabags into the mug. "What? This?" You nodded to the red mug. "It'd just be wrong not to support the local team." You two laughed, you referred to Liverpool as if it was a rec league team.

You two are there in silence, you leaned on the counter as you stood across from the footballer. The man looked around while you looked at him, counting to yourself quietly. Once Virgil hears your whispers, he looks over at you with furrowed brows.

"What are you counting?"

"Your wrinkles," you say nonchalantly, pointing to his forehead as you count each one. Virgil rolls his eyes playfully, swatting your hand away. "You okay?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"You sure? I mean, you usually can't see the wrinkles on that big forehead on yours. So unless you've aged drastically since I've last seen you, I'd say you're worried about something."

"Is that your official diagnosis, Dr. L/n?"

"Yup," you nodded, smiling at him as you crossed your arms over your chest. "100%, now tell me, what's on your mind?"

"Well," he sighs as he starts. "I was invited to a wedding today."

"And? Is it for an ex or some cousin you hate?"

"No, nothing like that. It's actually Andy, you know, Robbo?"

You nodded, shutting the stove off when the kettle begans whistling. "He finally put a ring on Rachel? Good for them, tell them congratulations for me."

Virgil smiles, "I will."

"Wait, so if it's for Andy, what's the problem? I thought you two were good friends."

Virgil makes a face, wondering if he should really tell you what's bothering him. "We are, I uh.. I need a date for a wedding."

You laughed, "that's what's worrying you? C'mon Virgil, you're a footballer. You're handsome, you're young..ish- regardless, it shouldn't be too hard for you to get a date."

He rolls his eyes at your comment, "yeah well, easier said than done. Especially since I've - never mind."

"Oh no," you turn to face him after pouring the water into the mugs. "You're not going to leave me hanging like that! What, since you've..?

"Since I've been telling the guys I have a girlfriend. That's why Andy gave me a plus one, I really thought he wouldn't do that."

Your brows furrowed, you were beyond confused now. "Okay, you've officially lost me. You're nervous to ask her to be your date? Or - oh my god! Is she a married woman, Virgil?!"

"No!" He laughed, shaking his head at your outrageous suggestion. "I'd never date a married woman, in fact, I'm not dating anyone."

You were getting the milk from the fridge when what he said finally processed. You turn to face the man, "so wait, let me see if I got this right. You've been telling them you're seeing someone but you're not actually seeing anyone?" You say, looking for some clarification. Virgil nods, avoiding your gaze.

"Why would you lie to them?"

"I really didn't mean too! It wasn't a lie in the beginning. I was seeing this girl, she was cool but we didn't want the same things so it just sort of.. ended? They kept asking and I don't know why I didn't want to tell them the truth but I wasn't sure what to say so I played along and now, well, you know where I've ended up."

You sigh, unsure what to tell him. You didn't even think there was advice to help someone who's gotten themselves into such a position.

"That's a messed up thing you're in, dude." You added the milk to his mug, handing him the one with the flowers. Virgil nods, stirring the spoon in the mug.

"Do you have sugar?"

"Mhm hm," you turned, reaching up into the cupboard to get the sugar from the middle shelf.

Virgil watched, admiring you; not only on a surface level but deeper than that. He likes spending time with you, even if it was something as simple as a chat across the lawn. You were beautiful and kind, funny and smart, your humour was witty and you were charming. You could talk yourself out of a crime if need be - you were exactly who he was looking for.

Seems his lies have sent him in your direction; imagine if he hadn't helped you take your bags in today.

You turned to him with the sugar, you could feel him staring at you but he was sitting there, elbow on the counter with his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he smiled at you.

"What?"

"Will you be my date to the wedding?" He asks and you laugh, taking the top off the sugar jar.

"You're not serious."

"I am, what are you doing in 3 weeks?"

"Probably work, but I can't be your date, virgil."

He pouts, much like a child when they're told no. "Why not?"

"How would that work?"

"It's fine, I'll handle everything y/n. You just need to pack your bags and get the time off work. Hotels, flights, everything we need there, I'll take care of."

"Wait, the wedding isn't here?"

"Portugal," he says, doesn't miss the slight raise of your eyebrows.

"I've always said I'd go back to Portugal, even if it's just for a short time."

"See," Virgil says, "it's like my lying led us here, this can be a good thing for both of us. I'll have a girlfriend for the weekend and you get to visit Portugal again."

You can't help but laugh at his justification. "Please," he says, "I'm begging you now. I'll own you big time." His hands clasped together under his chin as he looked at you with big, brown, puppy eyes.

"Like season passes to your box at Anfield big time?" You asked, a raised eyebrow. Virgil laughs, nodding. "Exactly like that."

"You've got a deal then." You tell him, he smiles. "Perfect, I can't thank you enough."

"Mhm hm, now drink your tea before it gets cold."

--

The week of the wedding arrives faster than expected, you had been in prep mode all week; getting your hair and nails done, trying to pack whatever you think you'd need for a wedding.

A celebrity's wedding isn't different from a normal one, is it? Is that what a footballer is? A celebrity ? Can you call it a celebrity wedding- Your thought was interrupted by a knock on the door.

It's Virgil, a big smile on his face despite it being 8am. "Why are you so happy?" You asked upon opening the door.

"Oh, good morning to you too, sunshine. Are you ready to go?" He makes a face, chuckling. He starts carrying your luggage out of the house as you make one last walk through, assuming you had everything and things were in place for the few days you'd be away.

"Yup, all set." You notice he was putting your suitcase into his car. "You're driving?"

"Yeah, I figured it'd be faster than an Uber."

"We've got," you glanced at your phone, "4 hours before our flight."

"I know, it's fine." He waves you off, shutting the trunk before opening the passenger side door for you. You lock up and walk over the lawn to his driveway, getting into the car.

It was a short drive to the airport, the music played quietly and Virgil hummed as he drove. He glances over to see you typing away on your phone. "Who are you texting so early?"

"Playing the possessive boyfriend already, Virgil?" A raised eyebrow as you looked at the man. His cheeks flush red and he shakes his head. "I'm kidding," you rested a hand on his knee. He looks down and you move your hand. "I was just replying to some work stuff, I've never left them for so long."

"It's only 3 days, they'll be fine. Plus, don't they know you're on vacation?"

"Not really," you set the phone on your lap, "I told them I had some family stuff, couldn't exactly explain that Virgil Van Dijk was asking me- no, begging me, to be his fake wedding date."

"Technically," he points a finger at you, "it's a real wedding date, you're just my fake girlfriend."

"Technicalities, Virgil."

He laughs, pulling into the parking lot. The two of you head into the airport and after checking in, the woman sends the two of you down a hallway that seemed like a dead end.

You didn't travel often but you knew this seemed.. sketchy to say the least.

"Where are we going?" You asked Virgil, the man opens the door for you and leads you right onto the tarmac. There's a plane a few feet away and you turn to look at him, dot connecting in your head. "Private?" You asked him another question.

He nods, "figured I'd spoil my girlfriend," he jokes, smiling at you as you two walked over to the plane.

You sat across from Virgil, checking your phone for the millionth time since you've left home. "You know, they won't be able to reach you when we're in the air, I'm sure they'll be fine."

"I know," you switched it off and set it down before the plane took off.

The two of you were eating breakfast, a rather large spread for being in the air and considering the flight was barely 3 hours.

"So," you set the fork down on the plate, "get me the details, who's gonna be at the wedding?"

Virgil takes a sip of his coffee, "well, Andy and Rachel obviously."

"Obviously," you chuckled.

"Thiago, Jordan, Millie, Adam and their wives, Ox and his girlfriend, us and then Trent."

"What, Trent doesn't get a plus one?"

He shrugs, "I don't know, I don't think he's seeing anyone right now. Plus he's in the states, he said he's coming but we have to see."

You nod, the two of you chat a bit more. Virgil updates you on a few matches, how they think they're going to do, what it's like being captain. You tell him how the clinic is doing, how you're liking it so far compared to when you used to work at the hospital. Just small details that might come up in a conversation with his teammates.

Once you landed, Virgil collected your luggage and you were off to the hotel. It was a short walk to the venue from the hotel, the two of you put your stuff away and decided to go for a walk, grabbing a coffee before heading back to the hotel.

The rehearsal dinner was in a few hours, giving you two more than enough time to get ready. "We need to get our story straight," he says to you when you come in from the balcony.

"What story ?"

"Our outfits," he says with total seriousness, "what are you wearing tonight?"

You shook your head with a small smile on your face, taking the two dresses out of the wardrobe to show him; a light blue dress with a halter top, the small white flowers going from the waist to the bottom hem and the other was a burnt orange that was backless.

"I figured the blue was a bit more family friendly, classy enough without being too dressy," you hold it up to yourself to show him. He nods, "yeah, good. It's pretty."

You hung it back in the wardrobe before turning to him. "What are you going to wear?"

"We need to match." He was already searching through his suitcase for the shirt to match your dress. "Do we really need to?" You sat on the edge of the bed, looking at him.

He nods, pulling out the baby blue shirt. "This is close enough, no?"

"Yeah, but why does it look like you've had it rolled up in the bottom of a box for like.. 4 years?" Your brows furrowed as you looked at the state of it. Virgil shakes the shirt, trying to rid it of the permanent wrinkles. "Do you not have an iron, Virgil?"

"I do, but uh, I forgot to iron it."

You shook your head, getting up to search for the iron you knew you saw. You find it in the drawer in the wardrobe, handing it to him. Virgil spreads the shirt on the bed, plugging the iron in before fiddling with the settings. He looks between the iron, the shirt and you, a bit clueless before attempting to iron the shirt.

He works on the sleeve, making it worse than it was before, you watch as he helplessly works at the shirt. You figured maybe you were making him nervous in some weird way so you excused yourself to the bathroom to unpack your makeup and hair stuff.

When you came back, 7 minutes later, he was still working on the same sleeve. Your lips pressed together, arms folded over your chest as you watched.

"What?" He asked, glancing at you.

"You're terrible at that. Do you not know how to iron?"

He sighs, "it's been years since I've had to do it, I usually just get my stuff dry cleaned."

You smiled as you walked over, taking the iron from him and putting him out of his misery. "If I leave you to iron this, you might take the whole 3 hours to finish it. Why don't you go shower or whatever you need to do, I'll do it for you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go. Before you ruin the shirt," you shook your head, switching the setting from wool to cotton. You wondered how he ended up on wool to begin with. "Thank you," he smiles, walking into the bathroom.

While he showers, you finish up on his shirt and hang it on a hanger in the wardrobe. You also looked for his pants, ironing the 3 pairs of dress pants he had brought as you didn't know which one he'd be wearing.

Virgil returns to the room post shower, white towel wrapped around him that sat right below his hips, and you had just shut the wardrobe after hanging up his pants. You turn to find him behind you, your eyes fixed on the man; the water dripping down his chest, down to his stomach and it stops at the towel wrapped around his waist.

"You're staring, y/n." He says, you can hear the smirk on his face before your eyes meet his face.

It's not like you've never seen him shirtless before, he used the pool in his yard quite often, not to mention the glimpse of him you catch in the media or what the Liverpool account posts.

Clearing your throat, you blink a few times before speaking. "I uh, I ironed your pants as well, I wasn't sure which ones you were gonna wear so I ironed all of them."

He smiles, "thanks."

You nod, excusing yourself to the bathroom to shower. You shut the door, back pressed to it for a moment before going about your routine. You weren't sure how long you were in there but you had showered, done your hair and you were mid way through your makeup when there was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Virgil calls from the other side of the door. "I need to fix my hair." He says and you open the door for him, concealer all over your face, hair pinned up with the robe wrapped around you.

He smiles when he sees you; you look so.. well, beautiful but there was something else, a domesticity of sorts. The two of you getting ready in the same bathroom, there's some intimate in the way you were seeing each other right now. Moving in silence as you both did your own thing beside one another.

You break the silence, "how did we meet?"

"We're neighbours..?" His eyes meet yours in the mirror, confusion all over his face.

"I mean if they ask, your teammates. What did you tell them?"

"Oh," he says, wrapping the hair tie around his hair. "I told them we met through mutual friends, my friend, Kevin. His wife knows you and we were all at the same party and we hit it off from there."

You hum, finishing up on your makeup. You were searching for your lipstick, "and how long have we been together?" You find the one you were looking for.

"Almost a year. If my math is right, it should be like.. 10 months?"

The lipstick in your hand, you look at Virgil with a shocked look on your face. "You've been lying to them for almost a year? How the hell did you manage that?"

His lips pressed together then he shrugs, which makes you laugh. "Okay," you nod, "almost a year it is." You turn back to the mirror, applying your lipstick.

Virgil watches as you do it, your hands steady while you go over your lips, pressing them together to make the colour even. "What do we think?" You asked, turning to him when you notice he's watching.

"Beautiful," he smiles, "truly."

"So cheesy," you chuckled, walking out of the bathroom to change into your dress.

The two of you head down to the venue a few minutes later, all dressed and ready to meet his teammates at the rehearsal dinner.

Before you walked in, Virgil grabbed your hand which caught you off guard. Your fingers interlocked with his and it took you a moment to realize why he did that; the two of you were a couple, of course.

It was already full in there, most of their family had already arrived and a few friends were scattered through the venue. You see a few of his teammates but Virgil leads you to the front, tapping Andy on the shoulder.

"Virg!" Andy smiles, pulling Virgil into a hug. "You made it," he steps back and sees you next to the man, his grin only widening. "You must be the famous girlfriend we hear about all the time."

"That would be me," you smiled, "I'm y/n, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, this is Rachel, bride to be." He introduces you to his fiancee. You smiled at her, the two of you exchanging niceties.

"It's nice of you to make it, Andy was saying how he was certain Virgil wouldn't be bringing you." Rachel says, her arm interlocked with Andy's.

"Well to be fair, Virg seemed a bit nervous to ask me to come but I wouldn't miss it for the world. I don't think I've said it but congratulations."

Virgil's heart skips a beat, it wasn't out of ordinary that someone called him Virg, but you've never had. You always called him Virgil, so to hear the nickname come out of your mouth, make him rather.. soft.

"It's my fault," Andy starts, "we did tell Virg to bring you around before but he always said you were busy with work. So I think it's fair of me to think you were fake."

You laughed, "I can assure you I'm alive and real, feel free to pinch me to confirm." Andy laughed at your comment, smiling at his teammate in approval of you. Virgil returns the smile.

"Anyways, make yourselves comfortable, we're going to start the rehearsal soon." Rachel tells the two of you, leading Andy off to greet someone else.

Virgil's hand rests on your lower back, the two of you sitting towards the middle of the chairs, watching as they went through the rehearsal. It was mostly family, his teammates were only there so they could all mingle and catch up as they had been on break for a few weeks at this point.

At some point after they were done the run through, Virgil suggested drinks and you followed him to the bar, his hand once again on your lower back.

"Virg!" You hear someone call for him, the two of you turning at the same time to see who was coming his way. Both Jordan and Millie were making their way over to the two of you.

"Hey," Virgil smiles at his teammates. "Guys, this is y/n, my girlfriend. This is Jordan and James."

You smiled at the men, "it's nice to meet you both."

"We thought you weren't coming," Millie says and Jordan follows up with a, "it's nice to meet you, we thought you weren't real."

"That seems to be the general consensus tonight," you laughed.

Ox makes his way over to the bar, seeing his teammate with a woman he's never seen before. "You must be Virgil's girlfriend, I'm Ox." He introduces himself.

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you."

"I can't believe you're actually here."

You turn to Virgil, making a face at him. "Why do all your teammates think I'm not real?"

"He wouldn't show us pictures," Millie says, shrugging. "I guess that's true," you nudged Virgil, "between Virg's practices and games, and then with my work, we barely get time to see each other and when we do, we're not on our phones."

Jordan makes a face, looking between you and Virgil and you instantly know what he's thinking. "No!" You laughed, shaking your head. "That's so not what I meant."

"What is it that you do, y/n?" Ox pipes up.

"I'm a doctor, an OB actually."

"Oh wow," Ox smiles at his teammate. "She's good, you've got good taste, big man. I see why she hasn't been around."

You smile, your phone buzzing in your hand. You excuse yourself, walking away to take the phone call. You can hear the boys talking behind you, you glance over your shoulder and smile at Virgil, the man's heart skipping a beat. Despite you not being his actual girlfriend, it did feel good to get the approval from his teammates.

Virgil hadn't even realized how long he had been chatting with his teammates, he went in search of you and found you just outside, chatting with Julia, the two of you talking about their kids.

"There you are," Virgil says, walking down the steps towards you. You smile at him, "I see you've met Julia." He gives the woman a quick hug before standing beside you.

"Yeah," you smiled at her, "I'm mad at you, you know."

"What for?" His brows furrowed, looking at you. He's wondering what he could have possibly done.

"You've been hiding me from her, Julia and I are best friends now."

The blonde smiles at you, "yes we are. We've already made plans to get lunch when we get back to Liverpool. I can't believe you've never brought her around before, Virgil." She tells him, her voice similar to the one she uses when she scolded her children, and or Thiago, when they misbehave.

"Oh well, I'm sure y/n's told you about her hectic schedule. Blame her, not me. I do hope you two have fun at this lunch." He laughs, his arm over your shoulder.

The rest of the night was quiet, everyone caught up with each other with their summer plans and you met the rest of the players and their partners over the course of the night. Eventually you two decide to call it a night, heading back to the hotel.

You were by the door, taking your heels off when you saw Virgil stop in the middle of the room, in front of the bed.

"What's wrong?" You asked him, walking over. You seem to realize what he's thinking; there's only one bed.

Not like they've taken a bed out of the room while you were gone but you two had been too tired and too busy getting ready for the dinner that neither of you seemed to register that there was in fact, only one bed in the room.

It didn't occur to Virgil when booking the room that you'd need a separate bed, you weren't really a couple after all.

"I'll take the couch," you tell him, not wanting him to feel bad for his slight mess up.

He shook his head, turning to you. "No, it's fine. I'll take the couch, you take the bed."

You glance at the couch next to the window, it was spacious - that's if you were under 5 foot. There's no way he'd sleep comfortably if he did manage to fit on it.

"You know what, we're both adults. We'll sleep together." You tell him, his eyes widening at your words. "Not what I meant," you smack his arm. "We can both fit on the bed comfortably, no need for either of us to suffer on the couch."

"You're sure?" He asks and you nod, "of course, but hands to yourself mister." You pointed a finger to him, making him laugh.

Virgil raises his hands, "I swear I'll be on my best behaviour," he says, watching you walk into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

--

The sun peeks through the curtains, waking you from your sleep. You shut your eyes, trying to get a few more minutes but you can hear the shower running and then shuts off followed by the bathroom door opening. The smell of Virgil's body wash fills the room and you sit up, rubbing your eyes.

"Mornin' sunshine," he smiles at you, sitting on the edge of the bed. You yawn, stretching as you try to wake yourself up. "What time is it?"

"10:27," he looks at the clock, "how about some breakfast?"

"Yes please," you get out of bed, fixing the comforter as you walk to the bathroom. "Lots of coffee please," you smiled at him, shutting the door.

Virgil orders room service while you shower, you return to the room just as it arrives. The two of you sit on the couch, eating breakfast in comfortable silence. Virgil grabs his phone, "Andy sent over some pictures from last night," he shows you a few photos that the groom to be had sent.

"Those are cute, send them to me."

Your phone buzzes on the bed and you look over at the clock, "shit, I've got to do my hair." You set the cup down on the table and walk towards the bathroom. "Do you need the bathroom?"

"No, I'm good." he tells you, "do your thing."

You walk in and walk back out, leaning on the door frame. "What are you wearing today?"

He smiles, "don't worry, I ironed it and put it in the closet."

"Properly?" You asked, walking over to confirm.

"Yes," he shook his head, watching as you took the shirt out to confirm that he did in fact iron it properly. "Wow, good job. Big upgrade from yesterday."

"Watched a YouTube video," he says, making you laugh.

You leave Virgil in the room, off to shower and then to start on your makeup and hair as you weren't 100% sure what look you wanted to do. Virgil left you alone, letting you get ready in peace. He could hear the music playing, your humming accompanying the melody.

He thought to himself that it was something he could get used to, that his house would feel so quiet and empty without you humming.

The line between real and fake seemed to be getting blurred more and more as the time went by.

"Virg?" You called for the man, he got up from his spot on the couch. He had been ready for some time, you still had an hour before you needed to leave. "Yeah?"

"Can you zip me up?"

You stepped out of the bathroom, hair pulled over your shoulder with your dress on. He smiles, nodding as he walks over to you; the sage green dress hugged your body in the right places, it was as if the dress was made for you and only you.

Virgil's hand rests on your waist, the other holds the zipper and gives it a soft tug, pulling it up to the top. The hand holding the zipper now turns into fingers trailing down the curve of your spine, coming to rest on the other side of your hip. "There you go."

Turning around to face him, Virgil's hands remained on your hips. "Thank you," you look up. He nods, "you look.. wow."

You can't help but laugh, straightening his shirt. "You look pretty wow yourself."

Virgil lets go of you when you take a step back, walking to the vanity to put your jewelry on. It takes the two of you half an hour to gather the last minute things you needed, assuring you were ready before heading out for the ceremony.

It's a short walk to the venue, everyone was being ushered into the church to take their seats while the bridal party was lining up to walk in when you two arrived.

The weather was beautiful, the sun was out and the church was full with their families and friends; they couldn't ask for a better start to their wedding day.

The ceremony was short and sweet, Andy and Rachel exchanging vows and promises, everyone was beyond happy for them.

Most of the guests were now outside, the doors to the church open as everyone was heading out.

You stood next to Virgil by the stairs, letting him block the sun from your face as you checked your phone. You hear the footsteps before you hear the voice. "You're actually here, you're real?" The Scouse accent thick, Trent.

"I am real," you looked up, smiling at the man who looks like he's seen better days. "You must be Trent."

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you. Excuse me." He says, covering a yawn with his hand.

Before you two could speak, Andy was calling the two players over for a group photo. You stop Virgil, standing on your tiptoes to reach his collar, his hand on your hip you keep you steady as you fix it before sending him on his way; a small act of intimacy that you'd only find between a couple.

You had been checking your emails, something you knew Virgil would complain about if he caught you doing it yet again. You were so caught up that you hadn't noticed him calling your name. When you do, you look up, making a hand motion as to ask him what he wants. He waved you over, pointing to the spot in front of him. Your brows furrowed, still unsure what he wanted as the dots didn't seem to connect. Virgil realized as much, pointing towards the photographer and then back to the spot in front of him.

Only then did it click what he meant.

You head over, joining the other girlfriends and wives in the photo. Andy and Rachel were front and centre, the rest of you around them.

"Alright everyone, squeeze in a bit more please!" The photographer shouts, showing you all with his hands to move closer to each other.

Virgil moves you from beside him to in front of him, his arm over your shoulder and your hand instinctively reaches up, fingers interlocking with his.

The photographer gives everyone a moment to situate themselves, "perfect, alright everyone look here! Smile!"

A few moments later, you were all allowed to move. Andy and Rachel were off to take some more photos, there was only about 30 minutes before the reception which wasn't too far from the church.

Everyone makes their way over, waiting for the official entrance from Andy and Rachel as Mr and Mrs Robertson for the first time.

You were sat next to Virgil, Jordan and his wife, Rebecca, to the right of Virgil and Thiago and Julia to your left.

Andy and Rachel were having their first dance, the whole venue was quiet as you all watched the two of them, wrapped up in love and giggling as they whispered to each other mid dance.

You wiped the outer corner of your eye, blinking a few times in an attempt to save your makeup. Virgil turns slightly when he hears a small sniffle. He sees your watery eyes, smiling to himself and leans in to whisper to you; "are you crying?"

"Shut up," you whispered back, turning him back around with a small nudge. "Weddings make me emotional."

The evening was quiet, dinner consisted of everyone chatting, Andy and Rachel made the rounds to say hello to everyone who they didn't get a chance to talk to at the church. Eventually they reopened the bar and the dance floor, everyone started making their way around, mingling, drinking and dancing.

You were replying to a message when Virgil came over, two shot glasses in hand. He passes one to you, "to Andy and Rachel," he says, tapping his glass to you. The two of you down the shots, tequila, based on the after taste.

"Okay, let's go dance!"

"I don't dance, Virg."

"It's a wedding, you have to dance!" He takes your phone from you, putting it into his pocket and grabbing your hand. "Virg," you groaned, the man ignores your pleas and takes you to the dance floor, spinning you around.

Before you know it, the two of you are giggling and dancing, his arms over your shoulders as he hugs you from behind, swaying to the music.

"I'm gonna get a drink," you tell him and the man lets you go while nodding before shimmying his way over to Trent, who looks like he was about to fall asleep in his chair. You laughed, leaving Virgil to bother Trent as you walked to the bar.

You had barely made it to the bar when someone shouted for you. "Y/n!" You see Thiago off to the side, "can you take a picture for us?"

"Sure," you take the phone from him, he and Julia standing together, arms wrapped around each other as they smiled, then Thiago kissed her.

Sometimes you wonder what it'd be like if you had a stable and loving relationship like theirs.

"I thought you got lost!" Virgil says, walking towards you. You shook your head, handing the phone back over to Thiago. The Spaniard then turns, passing the phone to Virgil. "Okay now you come in, let him take the picture."

"Are you sure?" You asked, Thiago was already pulling you into the photo.

He nods, you and Julia on either side of him, the 3 of you smiling as Virgil takes the photo, the camera flashing. Thiago steps out, letting you and Julia have some together, his wife telling him something about they have enough pictures of them together. You laughed, the two of you smiling for the camera.

"Do you want one together?" Thiago looks at Virgil, who then looks at you and you shrug, waving him over. Virgil hands his phone to Thiago while Julia replaces him by her husband's side.

Virgil's arm over your shoulder, your arm around his waist, the two of you smiling while Virgil pulls you into his side. "Alright Virg, give your lady a kiss." Thiago says, smiling.

Your 'boyfriend's' cheeks are red, a flush he can blame on the Portuguese heat or the liquor but you know the real reason. "Come on man, what are you waiting for?!" Thiago says, laughing at Virgil's shyness.

"Leave them alone," Julia tells her husband, rolling her eyes at his childishness.

"It's fine," you whisper to Virgil, turning to him a bit. He looks at you, whispering back, "you sure?" You stood close, the air between you two charged with a mixture of tension and anticipation.

"Mhm hm," your hand rests on his chest while he leans down, you tip toe a bit, meeting him half way when he kisses you.

But as your hand found its way to Virgil's cheek and your lips met against each other's, something shifted. What was meant to be a quick moment blossomed into something real, something raw. When you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, a shared realization dawned upon them.

The kiss may have been staged, but the feelings it stirred within were undeniably genuine.

As you glanced at each other, a silent understanding passed between you and Virgil. This fake relationship may have begun as a charade, but perhaps, just perhaps, it held the promise of something more.

Thiago grinned, "perfect. The picture of love," he says, handing the phone back to Virgil. You smiled, your own cheeks now flushed and red. You reached over, your thumb brushed over his lips to wipe away the lipstick left behind. Virgil's arm wraps around your shoulder, the two of you chatting as you join Thiago and Julia for a round of shots.

The night wrapped up just after midnight, everyone waiting at the front to wish Andy and Rachel well, seeing them off as they left before everyone else headed to wherever home was after that.

Virgil's jacket over your shoulders while you walked back to the hotel. Despite the humidity earlier in the day, there was now a slight chill in the air.

"Did you have a good time?" He asks, opening the door for you. "I did," you walk in, waiting for the elevator to your room. "Thank you for bringing me."

"Thank you for coming, you really saved my ass."

It hits you in the moment that this was in fact, fake. You were doing him a favour, you weren't a couple, you never will be. Just a good friend helping him out in a tough situation.

When you returned to the room, Virgil announced that he's gonna go take a shower while you got ready for bed. The two of you moved in silence, you sat at the vanity taking your makeup off while the sound of the water running filled the room. You had to remind yourself that this wasn't real yet again.

All the feelings felt over the weekend were just for show. Certainly Virgil didn't feel the same way you did.

The steam filled the bathroom, Virgil lets the water run as he stands there. The kiss was real, the moments you shared were real, his feelings for you were real.

How the hell was he used to bring it up without it being awkward?

The shower shut off just as you were about to get into bed. Your phone bus is on the nightstand, and you reach over to grab it. There's a notification from Instagram.

juliavigas tagged you in a post. - 2mins ago.

You opened it, checking to see what she posted. There's a few photos from the wedding. Some of her and Thiago, the venue, one of you and her, as well as the one with you, her and Thiago. She also included the one in front of the church, Virgil's arm wrapped around you as you all smiled.

Virgil finds his way to the bed, sitting next to you. "What's so interesting?"

"Julia posted some pictures," you show your phone, letting him scroll through the pictures. "I guess everyone will think we're together now." He looks at the one in front of the church before handing the phone back to you.

"Wasn't that the whole point?" You ask, setting your phone on the nightstand.

"I guess so," he shrugs, the two of you sitting there in silence, the tv playing quietly in the background. There's a million thoughts going through his head at this very moment.

As he looked over at you, in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, Virgil couldn't help but admire your beauty, the way your eyes sparkled with a warmth that mirrored a flickering flame. It was in shared moments like these that he felt a pull, a force pulling him closer, urging him to take that leap of faith. But as the silence went on, Virgil felt the weight of his hesitation, suffocating him with its embrace.

How could he confess his feelings when the fear of rejection spun around in his mind, an unwelcome shadow over his every thought?

He glances at you once more, your eyes meeting in a brief exchange, Virgil felt a sense of longing wash over him, a wave of emotion threatening to consume him whole.

Still, the words remained unspoken, trapped behind the barricade of his uncertainty.

He had to take the leap of faith, he wouldn't know if he didn't try.

"What are we?" He blurts out, breaking the silence.

You turn, looking at him with a confused expression. "What are.. what do you mean?"

"Well.. we.. we kissed, so like, are we.. what are we?"

"We're not in high school, Virg. A kiss is a kiss, no?"

His smile fades, your heart breaking the moment you see that. He nods, turning his attention back to the tv. "Yeah, no. Of course."

"I'm kidding," your hand rests over his on the bed, "if you're asking me if I like.. if I like you, then I'll only answer if you put it into a note, like high school." You raised your eyebrows, making him chuckle.

"Yeah, okay." He nods. The topic was dropped, the tension lifting slightly.

--

The next morning, you and Virgil leave bright and early, heading to the airport for your flight back to England. The plane had barely taken off and you were still not fully awake, nursing your coffee as Virgil's fingers drummed on his knee.

"Dude," you groaned, "I have a headache, it sounds like you're playing a gong right now."

He stops tapping on his leg, brows furrowed and lips twisted in a weird expression. "Can you play a gong? Is that what it is?"

"I don't know, you know what I mean." You tell him, leaning your head back, eyes shut. You barely got all but 3 minutes of silence before Virgil speaks up again. "Do you have a pen?"

You open your eyes, reaching over to dig through your purse next to you before fishing out a pen and handing it to him. You watch him as he uncaps it, scribbling something down on the napkin in front of him, sliding it over the table to you with the pen.

'Do you like me? Check yes or no.' The two little boxes labeled yes and no under his question.

You smile, shaking your head at his childishness and the fact that he took what you said seriously. You picked up the pen, checking a box and sliding it over to him.

The yes was checked, Virgil glances at you with a cheeky smile before picking up the pen, flipping over the napkin and writing something else before sliding it back to you.

'Will you be my girlfriend?' the same yes and no boxes drawn under the question.

Your answer was yes but you wouldn't give into him so quickly. You picked up the pen, chin in the palm of your head thinking as if it was the hardest question of your life. You can see Virgil shifting nervously in his seat, and it's as if you can hear him overthinking his decision to ask you.

To put him out of his misery, you check a box and slide it back over to him.

There's a sigh of relief when he sees you've checked yes. You toss the pen at him playfully, shaking your head. "You're so cheesy."

"You said to ask it in a note!" He says, folding the napkin and putting it into his pocket.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it!" You laughed, the man shook his head and unbuckled, leaving over the table. His hands cupping your face, smiling at you before he kisses you.

Your hand interlocked with his, stretched over the table when he sat back down. "How about when we get back, I take you on an actual date?"

Your thumb brushes over his hand. "Not sick of me yet?"

"Could never get sick of you, y/n."

--

taglist: @thesnailus @alwaysclassyeagle @lettersfromvenus @mehrmonga @callsignvenus @kmc1989 @valentinehrts @pulpfixion @ironmaiden1313 @candacels @muglermami @leclerces @yuoluver @themandaloriansdiaries

[thinkingotherwise]

Hello! I read your post about Sugishita with a talkative reader. So, could you write for Hayato Suo with a reader who's talkative? Like, she's so passionate about talking that she explains every little detail perfectly. (I'm the chatterbox of my class and I've gotten scolded many times but I'm shameless.)

With that, the reader is also stubborn af so she needs a reasonable argument otherwise she ain't gonna be convinced.

The reader loves fairness. She can't stand if anything unreasonable is happening in front of her.

Oh well actually, if you want the reader can be gender neutral. I just asked like three requests at once. 💀 If you want you don't have to do it all! <3

As an introvert, I'm in awe of every person who is talkative, or as you called them a "chatterbox" - I know I could never.

Hayato is just so fucking majestic.

Hayato Suou x Talkative! reader

You were a very passionate person, who couldn't stay in silence for longer than a few minutes. The words had just always easily flown out of your mouth and it sometimes could get you in trouble. However, your words also helped to get you and others out with their problems. Growing up it was tricky to find the perfect balance of your talkativeness and the patience of your classmates, teachers, or even neighbours.

It was a little hard to find a person that could keep up with you, or at least didn't mind your ramblings. Hayato was perfect for that. Not only did he humour you during your rant sessions, but he also effortlessly kept up with your heated discussions.

You could spend hours upon hours talking about something and when he caught the wind of those times he would prepare some tea and snacks. That would make your discussions more comfortable and you would feel like your passion for talking was encouraged.

Hayato didn't mind your ramblings finding them amusing and informative. He couldn't also fathom how you could talk so much that during your logorrhea (stream of words), you'd change topics so much. Once, you started talking about the dinner with your friends you had the day before, going through the dilemma of whether pineapple should be on pizza, and finishing with sudden fun facts about different types of paint, with many more in between. It was still a mystery how you ended up completely detached from the first thoughts you shared.

When Hayato had his agility and martial arts skills to back up his testing words, you depended only on your phrases. You were an expert, and could easily out-talk anyone that started an argument with you. Your boyfriend thought it was pretty amazing how you could stand up to anyone with only words.

You used your talent for talking also to stand up for others, not being fond of some people putting down others thinking they were above them. "Excuse me, but it's not what I wanted." You heard a voice from your side from a woman, that previously stood in front of you in the queue. You were in the cafe with Hayato in the middle of ordering some desserts for yourself when she cut in and pushed you to the side. "I'm sorry, but that's what you ordered, Miss." The cashier said trying to be calm about the situation. "No, I wanted it with more milk and not this poor excuse of milk but the oat milk." She articulate it even more smashing the cup on the counter and spilling it. "I'm sorry Miss but you didn't inform us about it when taking the order, we confirmed it with you and you didn't say anything about the different type of milk you'd like to use. If you want we can-" The cashier said starting to get nervous as she fiddled with her fingers.

Your eyes widened when the fussing woman cut off not even listening to the barista. You were boiling all over and Hayato seeing that placed his hand around your waist and moved it in circles trying to calm you down before you could join the argument. "Of course, I did, you're just not listening to me. If you can't do your job correctly, then I don't know why you're still working here." The woman continued pushing the cup over the counter and into the cashier. "Miss, please listen-" "I'm not listening to someone so incompetent like-" She cut off the employee again and you had enough.

You pushed away from Hayato and heard him sighing in amusement as he knew what was about to happen. "Okay, that's enough." Your voice cut in firmly and the woman looked at you scowling. "Miss, you're clearly out of it, if you think you can be mean like that to someone who's working harder than you." "What? You're such disrespectful little-" You didn't let her finish just like she did with the cashier and continued on your own. "It's a fact that I can tell even without knowing more about you than what you've just shown everyone here. I was after you in the queue, I heard what you ordered, and now that told the barista she got your order wrong, and even doing such a thing." You motioned to the employee who tried to wipe the counter and her uniform from the spilled drink.

"You're the more disrespectful one. And I beseech you to shut your mouth and think twice before trying to make someone's life miserable just because your is." You finished with fire in your eyes making the woman frown and gasp at your rant. "OMG! I can't stand someone like that." She said waving her arms around before turning away and leaving the place. You sighed and felt Hayato moving towards you and moving his arms around you trying to calm you down. You showed your claws and he had a wide grin on his face, proud of you for standing up for someone else.

Tags: @misticbullet

[wandafiction]

Supportive Friend

Warnings: G!P Reader, WandaNat X Reader (Platonic), Description of Injury, Bullying, Self depreciation, Panicked Peter Parker, Best Friend Peter Parker, Angst, Fluff and Humour.

"Miss Wanda! Miss Natasha!" Peter runs through the halls of the compound stopping at every door to open it, taking a look in trying to find the couple. He didn't care if he interrupted importing meetings or not, what was important is he found the two of them. 

"Miss Wanda! Miss Natasha!" He slides along the shared kitchen floor, catching himself on the counter to stop himself finally having found the two of them. Natasha was standing behind Wanda with her arms wrapped around her waist while the Sokovian cooked for the two of them. 

"What's wrong Pete?" Natasha removes herself from Wanda, quietly making her way in front of Peter who is waving his hands frantically as he tries and regulates his breathing. 

"Pete, I need you to breathe and tell me what's going on bud." Wanda had moved the pan she was using onto a different hob, turning the cooker off as she gently cups the boy's cheeks to get him to look at her. "In and out Pete. What's got you in such a panic?" 

"It's….it's...I…." Peter is sucking in harsh breaths working himself up as he tries to tell the two women what's going on. "It's Y/n." 

"What about Y/n?" Natasha and Wanda are both as concerned as each other, never seeing Peter as panicked as this and it having something to do with you made them panic. 

"She….help…" Peter couldn't say anything more, instead choosing to grab the women's hands and start leading them to his room. 

The moment the door opens they both gasp at the sight of your bloody and beaten face, struggling to take your own top off. Wincing with every little movement you made. The sound of the door hitting the wall makes you jump, moving further away from where the sound came from as your eyes close tightly shut cowering away from the people who have just entered. 

"She won't let me help." Peter looks down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers. "Can you please help her?" 

"Of course we can Pete." Wanda places her hands on the boy's shoulders gently guiding him out of the room as Natasha stays frozen to the spot, her eyes glossing over at the sight of you in front of her. 

"Please help her Miss Wanda." Wanda nods quickly, bringing a hand up to cup the boy's face. 

"We will, I promise but I need to know what happened." Wanda's voice is gentle with no sign of anger towards Peter and he visibly relaxes when he realises he is not in trouble. 

"She...she. Flash was being flash and had stolen some of my worksheets. You see I do some of my work for my spidey suit at school, I have permission from Mr Stark to take the work with me, and flash ripped it from my hands at lunch and ripped it up. Y/n, she, uh, she pushed him and told him to pick on someone his own size. I mean she isn't that much taller than me so that sentence doesn't actually mean anything."

"Peter, you're rambling." Wanda smiles a little knowing that Peter can ramble for days if you don't stop him. 

"Sorry Miss Wanda." He bows his head, but Wanda pulls him into a hug knowing he most definitely needs one. 

"So tell me again. What happened?" 

"She pushed him. He, uh fell, but he was quick to get back up and try to hit her. Of course no one knows she is an avenger so when she caught his fist it made him even more angry. She shoved him back down, grabbed my hand and led me out of the cafeteria. I thought that was the end of it. But after our last class today when we were just about to walk down the stairs, Flash came running up behind us and pushed her. She fell down the stairs Miss Wanda. She hit the wall a few times and the metal of the bannister. She hit the ground hard, Flash took advantage and got a few kicks to her face and stomach, shouting about how she had embarrassed him in front of everyone. She just let him hit her, she didn’t even try to fight back and me and some other students had to pull him off of her. I had to get MJ and Ned to help me bring her to the car, she could hardly hold up her own body weight. I, I, there was so much blood from her nose Mr Stark is going to kill me. It's all over the back seat." 

"No he won't. You were helping a friend. Thank you Pete. Why don't you head to her room and get yourself cleaned up. I will come and get you when we are done here." Peter nods quickly before looking up at Wanda with fresh tears in his eyes. 

"She would let us help. We got her to the car but as soon as we went to see her injuries she pushed us away. Why won't she let me help her, Miss Wanda?" Wanda looks down at the boy sympathetically.

"I can't answer that one for you Pete. Maybe you need to have a chat with her once she is all healed." He nods before quickly giving Wanda another hug before walking away and heading to Y/n's room, while Wanda re enters Peter's room closing and locking the door behind her. 

"I've got you, arms up slowly for me." Wanda turns to see Natasha helping to take your top off for you. Your eyes are closed as you slowly lift your arms just above your head as Natasha’s hands guide the thin shirt off your body, chucking it to the floor behind her but deciding to keep your sports bra on.

"Hurts." Your voice cracks as your leg bounces up and down trying to distract yourself from the pain, as Natasha’s fingers trace the cuts and bruises on your face before moving down to your torso.

"I know honey, I know but I've got  your top off now we can assess your injuries." Natasha turns her head to look at Wanda with worry filling her features. “Can you sit behind her Wanda, to support her while I do this?”

“Mhmm.” Wanda slowly moves into the bed, sitting herself behind you, sitting on her calves as she gently pulls your body back to rest against hers. Her arms rubbing up and down your arms to try and give you any form of comfort. “She fell down the stairs Tasha.”

“Okay. uhm.” Natasha clears her throat trying to stop herself from crying when she places her hand on your bruised ribs and sees your body flinching away from her. “Honey, I'm going to have to take your pants off too, so I can see if there are any injuries to your legs. Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” It comes out as a whisper as you turn your head to hide it in the crook of Wanda’s neck as Natsha slowly and with all the care in the world takes your pants off for you. 

“Oh, honey.” Wanda takes a quick glance down to your body and legs, a few tears building in her eyes when she sees the multitude of bruises on your ribs, stomach and legs. “Okay, I don't see any deep cuts, just a lot of bruising. I'm going to use some cream that will help with the swelling and bruising okay?”

"Nice boxers." You laugh as Wanda points out what's printed on your boxer, wincing slightly as you laugh.

"Don't make me laugh, it hurts. I'm just trying to be a supportive friend." You shrug as Wanda giggles. 

"Well I'm sure Peter would be flattered to know you wear spiderman boxers." You huff out a small laugh before looking at the older woman behind you.

“I'm sorry, I just got so mad.” You choke out as you finally let the sob you have been holding back escape.

“Oh sweet girl you have nothing to be sorry for.” Wanda wraps her arms around your shoulders, making sure to avoid any bruises as she gently pulls your body closer to hers. 

“I shouldn’t have pushed him. You told me to never let my anger get the better of me, and I did. I’m sorry Wanda.” Wanda shakes her head lightly bringing her hand to your face to tilt your head to look at her, as Natasha leaves the room to grab what she needs.

“Sweet girl, you were defending your friend. You did nothing wrong. We are not mad at you, we just hate seeing you get hurt. Peter is really worried about you, and I'm sure MJ and Ned are too. He said you didn't let them help.” You shake your head biting at your lip. “You’ve not told them.”

“No. They will think I'm a freak and then I will have no one left and I will be all alone. It’s better that they don’t know. They would hate me.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, you are not a freak. You are unique, it makes you a 1 in a million and there is nothing wrong with it. If you don’t want to tell him that's fine, but I don't think he will hate you. I don’t think any of them will.” You snuggle into Wanda more, the older Sokovian being like an older sister to you from the moment you joined the avengers a few years ago after Natasha had rescued you from the red room with Yelena’s help.

You remember the day she found out about you being intersex. You had been changing after just getting out of the shower trying to relax after a training session. Usually you are more careful about changing, making sure to get a private cubicle. But on this one day all of the cubicles were taken, and you thought if you were quick enough no one would walk in while getting changed in the public changing room. Well you were wrong because the moment you pulled your boxers down Wanda came strolling into the room with her gym bag slung over her shoulder. 

You weren’t quick enough to grab your towel and put it in front of you, and when you heard Wanda’s bag drop to the floor and her apologise over and over again for walking in without making sure no one was already in the changing room. It wasn’t that Wanda cared if people got changed in front of her, that's why there were a few different changing rooms so people could decide where to get changed. It was more the fact she knew you used the private ones and she had now discovered the reason why. What surprised Wanda the most was the way you had managed to quickly get changed, the only indicator it was safe for there to turn around was when you walked past her muttering an apology. 

You avoided Wanda like the plague after the incident, fully expecting her to turn around and call you a freak and every other name under the sun. whenever she entered a room, you left, whenever she tried talking to you during team bonding you kept your answers short and avoided eye contact. It got so bad that she stopped trying to talk to you and assumed that because she had walked in on you, that you found a disliking for her. 

You felt bad because you and Wanda had become so close. The incident happened only 6 months after joining the Avengers programme, Natasha having helped you get settled. It was never a secret that you and Natasha were like siblings, and that you only ever felt comfortable doing anything during team bonding with her. It was also not a secret that her and Wanda were a couple. When it wasn't you snuggled into Natasha it was Wanda. You and Wanda had talked a couple of times here and there but nothing more than small talk. 

Until one night you had a nightmare. You went straight to Natasha's room, knocking softly as you held in a sob but allowed the tears to flow. When Wanda was the one to answer the door you wiped your tears away trying to pretend nothing was wrong but of course she had caught you crying. She let you know Natasha had been called on an emergency mission but you were more than welcome to come in. It took you a few seconds to step into the room, and when you did you broke down the nightmare replaying over and over again. Wanda pulled you into a tight embrace, moving the both of you over to the bed where she lowered you both into. She held you, sang sokovian lullabies to you until you fell asleep. She stayed up to make sure you were okay. 

And now she was your other sister, just like Natasha. You didn't trust anyone more than them. They were your people.

So when you started avoiding Wanda, they both noticed.

It wasn’t until you were pinned against the wall by her girlfriend, the one and only and highly terrifying black widow that you revealed the truth. Natasha knew of your not so little friend, having many a mission with you where you had to be patched up and you only trusted her to do so. So when you told her that you didn’t want Wanda to think of you as a freak, she hit you around the back of the head calling you an idiot, dragged you down to her and Wanda’s shared room and locked the both of you in until you talked it out. 

“Your thoughts are loud sweet girl.” You giggle into Wanda’s shoulders with a shrug.

“Sorry. You really think Peter will be okay with it if I tell him.”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself.” You sit up straight, the sudden movement causing you to hiss in pain as you bring your hands to your ribs, your eyes looking in the doorway where you see Natasha standing with a very timid Peter. He has his hands over his eyes and his back turned to you.

“Peter, you can look. I'm still in my bra and underwear.” He turns around peeking through the gaps in his fingers letting out a breath when he sees you telling the truth. You and Peter had become quite comfortable with one another, you usually training in a sports bra and leggings so it isn’t anything new to the two of you. Apart from the fact he had never seen you without pants or some form of legging his eyes travel down a quick second, before quickly flicking up to look you in the eye.

“How are you feeling honey?” Natasha was the first one to break the silence that had taken over the room, you giving her a tight lipped smile and a small nod in reply. She waves the cream in her hand as she walks towards you. “Do you want me to do it, or have you got it?”

“Pete.” Your voice is quiet but your friend takes a step forward. “Can you do it? And I will explain everything as you do?”

“Yes, of course. Uhm, only if you're sure.” he takes a step towards you fiddling with his fingers.

“I wouldn't have asked if I wasnt.” he quickly nods giving a small thanks to Natasha when she hands the cream off.

“Get Friday to come and get us if you need anything okay.” Wanda stands up, joining Natasha’s side as they both prepare to leave you and Peter to talk.

“I will. Thank you, both of you.”

“Yes thank you Miss Wanda and you Miss Natasha. I didn’t know who else to go to.” He rubs the back of his head nervously as you let out a small giggle.

“How many times have they told you Pete to just call them Wanda and Nat.” he quickly nods, giving the two women a shy smile.

“Right, sorry. Thank you Miss, uh, Wanda and Nat.” They both giggle before turning to you in silent question and when you give them a small nod they turn to make their way out of the room closing the door behind them.

They stay at the door for a few seconds to make sure you are both going to be okay, both of them laughing when they hear Peter’s voice go up in pitch when he asks you why you have his Spider-man Boxers on.

“They’re comfy. And they’re mine not yours.” Wanda and Nat decide they don’t need to be there anymore, leaving the two of you to talk as they head down the hallway to the shared kitchen to finish making the food that had long been forgotten. 

“You have a what?!” Is the last thing they hear echoing down the hallway both with silly smiles on their faces. 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

[confusedemiposts]

✿"so you're a girl?" ✿

Genre: fluff? Humour? Platonic mostly

Warnings: slight slander, touchy (Dazai) mentioned flat chest(Dazai), Tanizaki siblings, grammar mistakes

Notes: headcannons, probably oc, afab reader,referred to with she, reader is similar to haruhi from ohshc,I'm ashamed how long this took me,sorry if this shite I don't write often😭

Summery: You are the newest members of the Armed detective agency but (mostly) everyone thinks you are a boy, not that you really care about what gender you are perceived as its not like you were hiding the fact you are a girl but you just roll with it. How do they react and find out you are actually a girl?

Ranpo

the first the one to know

the moment he met you he knew

stared blankly at you than continued eating his sweets

didn't really care that much that no one else referred to you as a girl

Didn't find it important enough to make a big deal out of it

Dazai

When meeting you he stared at you for like one minute

watching your every move and observing your features

He quickly came to his conclusion

"That's a girl alright"

But didn't say anything and continued to refer to you as a guy

You know how he's quite physically affectionate?

Like jumping Atsushi and honestly just being close to people

He's definitely like that with you...

..but more touchy😰

waiting to see how long till you tell him you're a girl

once you're sick of his antics you tell him

Will act so surprised 💀

"My my your a girl?"🙀

"I couldn't have ever known! Your just so flat-"

SMACK

He got a deserved slap

Will whine about it

Asked if you can start wearing skirts and dresses

Yosano

One of the firsts to find out

it was after your first dangerous mission and you had to have a checkup

I think she'd have to read your file to add the checkup to your medical file and saw that you were a biological female on the file

During the checkup she asked about it

When you confirmed you are a girl she asked if you had any preferred pronouns

I love her

you said you didn't really mind

Would refer to you as a girl from then on

More girlies for the office 💪

Atsushi

took him a few months to find out

Always thought you were just a guy who's very in touch with his femmine side

Oh boy

Too be honest I'm not even sure how he finds out

heard you talking about periods with Yosano

He didn't suspect a thing

Thought that you were really knowledgeable about female anatomy

Poor boy wasn't taught anything so he actually wanted to learn too

Either asked you or Yosano

Honestly as I write this I still have no clue how he finds

Maybe the man just never finds out😭

I think he'd only find out either from Kyouka or accidentally seeing you change

Will grow nervous and awkward after finding out

Feels bad about any things he thought might have been inappropriate that he might've talked to you about

It will take him some time to treat you normally again

Kunikida

my boy was definitely the last to find out 😔

like how he didn't know Dazai was in the mafia he didn't know you were a girl

did get suspicious a few times

he overhead you ask Yosano for a tampon/pad

He thought he heard wrong

But then everyone was suddenly referring to you as she

"Are you talking about y/n?" 🤨

was absolutely flabbergasted when he realized you weren't a boy

"HES A SHE???????"

Had to look at you several times

he just thought you were a feminine guy😭

shocked to the core

had to sit down and process this Information

asked you why you never corrected anyone when they called you a boy

when you said you didn't care what gender you were seen as he went

"Oh"

"very well then"

Struggled with refering to you as a girl for a bit but corrected himself each time

Only change in behaviour afterwards is that he treated you more politely

Hes a gentleman at heart 🤷

Tanizaki siblings

Naomi

Naomi knew early on

was surprised when you both liked similar things

straight up asked

"are you a girl?"

when you said you are she goes

"Are you a crossdresser?🤨"

when she heard your reasoning she was fine with it

She decides to take you after work to see how you look in dresses

Junichiro

Found out the same day as Naomi

when Naomi said you guys were going somewhere alone together

"Okay-"

Then he thought it was a date

was going to kill you

Naomi told him you're a girl

He just stood there

🧍

"What"

Bro had no idea

Not even a single suspicion

Didn't believe it at first till he heard it from your own mouth

Kyouka

didn't take her long to figure out

after a case together you walked by a store with cute plushies in the window

A bunny teddy caught Kyouka's eye

You saw it and said it looked cute

she would have thought nothing of that comment since Atsushi would have said the same thing

but for awhile now she has been growing suspicious of your gender

Especially when she saw you use the female bathroom

But she doesn't know how to bring it up

Rather quietly she asks

"...y/n.. I've been wondering...are you a girl?

When you say yes she has a lot of questions

Asking why you didn't correct anyone or just why in general

Hearing your reasoning she'd understand but a little puzzled

Just saying you definitely bought her the bunny afterwards just to see her cute smile

kenji

Took a very long time

Honestly I don't think he would find out

He wouldn't care about your gender

He just likes you in general

He's so sweet

Always like

:D

Sorry I'm getting off topic

I think he'd find out only through Kyouka

"Ohh Mr is a miss?"

Still treats you the same

Fukuzawa

When you joined the agency he didn't question your gender at first

He knew because you probably needed some sort of identification to join the agency or something

but when everyone was referring to you as a guy he was absolutely confused

Had no clue what to refer you as😭

just said your name instead of any sort of pronouns

My man is trying his best

You noticed after awhile he never used any pronouns on you

So during a conversation once you made sure to say you are a girl

Glad that you told him but he got into the habit of just saying your name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Should I do PM next?

[wilzy-woo]

Ikemen Vampire Suitors ideal type in my eyes 👀 (also sorry if it seems more aimed at girls I tried to make it GN 😭)

Starting off simple with everyone's favourite (or not) sugar daddy COMTE 😍

• Thinks confidence is really hot and he DEFINITELY likes a little bratty type

• Likes independence but LOVES it when they need help just so he gets to look all snug, he doesn't say anything (he might) but just looks at you with his smexy smirk

• Doesn't care much for looks but loves it when they get dressed up OR LIKE THE KIND OF BEFORE SHOWER MAKEUP

• I think that he NEEDS them to be honest like he would hate the "they told me not tell anyone..." Like he doesn't care he would want ALL OF IT spilt to him whether it's serious or not

Next is the love of my life (he wouldn't like me at all)

• He wants an extrovert. I don't care he NEEDS an extrovert. May think he doesn't but Ugh he just does

• Wants someone to stand up for him, he may be able to stand up for himself but he just really appreciates when someone would do that.

• Someone cleverrr I can't stress this enough he wouldn't be able to stand someone who isn't interested or knows a thing or two about science or anything for that matter. He WANTS the "erm actually" person

• Needs someone who loves snow. It's a weird thing but I can just see him loving a snowy date in his delusions

Pookie bear Vincent (am I the only one who isn't a fan of Vincents route? Like it was painfully slow 😔 I mean don't get me wrong I love him but I didn't feel very attached)

•Loves a sweet girl, needs someone to protect and love omg can you imagine someone timid meeting Vincent UGH IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

• Needs their love language to be physical touch, he just screams it

• Wouldn't mind someone bad at art so he could help them with it if they are interested but would PREFER someone who is good at it so they could do cute little dates together

• Wants a very Smiley person like someone who smiles or laughs at the stupidest thing, broken humour type of person

Now Theodore is different his route WAS SO GOOD I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME even if it was a bit weird and k!nky at some points 🤨

(Why does this photo look massive)

• Chill anyways ALSO wants a bratty person, wants pretty much the opposite of Vincent he finds it such a turn on when they give him a dirty look or roll their eyes at him UGH

• I just know he likes a busty person (ass and chest for girlies) 😔 He seems like that type of person to nonchalantly slap their ass (honestly I'm not a huge fan of that but he would probably do it)

• Definitely likes the weird yappers, the ones who get distracted from one subject they were talking about and moved onto a completely different one

• Likes the observers! People who could just analyse someone easily based on the way they are sitting or talking

UGH MY HUSBAND (this might be biased towards me but I'll try 💔)

(this photo makes me do unspeakable things)

• Wants them to be independent but not TOO independent, he wants them to depend on him for things but also have that nice balance of independence

• Also loves yappers, he's the listening type so being able to listen to their voice for hours on end would be so good for him. He doesn't care what it's about just as long as he doesn't have to pitch in much he's fine with it

• LOVES when someone is indecisive and asks for HIS help with choosing something, knowing that you think he has the best decision making compared to the others is such an ego boost

• Loves someone who isn't afraid to share their opinions. Finds it such a turn on when their mouth is faster than their mind and just says stuff that doesn't even make sense

Arthur oh Arthur let down your hair...I'm not even sure if this is accurate I never finished his route I got bored halfway through 💀

•NEEDS someone humorous, CRAVES IT someone who can take a slightly rude joke and give him one back

• Needs someone with 100+ rizz...no seriously he would find it so funny if you went up to him and said some pick up line with that certain face

•Wants someone who would put him in his place when he does something wrong like overworking or doing something risky ass gambling 💀

• LOVES when their love language is acts of service, something simple like bringing him a coffee when he's writing and sitting down with him in silence, every now and then he'd ask you for ideas or something, just being helpful would make him fold.

• (EXTRA) would laugh if you failed your English GCSES

Mozzy Mosquito is that you 🤨 (I've never done his route so I have no bloody idea 💀)

•WOULD FOLD IF THEY COULD SING. Not like one of those strong voices or rapping NONONO he wants a Lana Del Rey, Alex G and the Florence type of singer , someone with a soft sleepy like voice! He would literally be in love

•CRAVES FOR CONFIDENCE he just thinks it's so attractive for someone to be confident. Like for them initiate conversation and WON'T BACK DOWN (even when he's being a bit of arsey introvert)

• Craves praise. Needs it. Needs someone who praises him and supports him all the way, someone who will get him out of music block by just being there to share ideas or sit there with him for hours telling him if it's good or bad

•Would prefer an introverted lover, he needs someone who is calm and collected and loves it if they come home from an outing and go straight to him groaning and ranting about how much they dislike people

I finished the first chapter of Jeans route I'm sorry if this is inaccurate I literally just go from what I saw of him from the other routes I've played (which isn't a lot ,😭)

•Though he's more of a listener he would also want a listener partner, to be able to sit there in comfortable silence in each others arms. However there will obviously be conversation it would be quiet and would last hours, something deep and personal to the both of them

• would love love love someone with soft slim hands. I don't know why he just seems like the type of person to be obsessed with those types of hands

• Needs someone patient and soft spoken, someone to be able to let his tough exterior break but by bit. A soft voice and reassurance looks like it would get him head over heels

I also haven't played Sebs route I'm sorry 😔

•Probably wants someone who is capable of doing what he's capable of, a helping hand and someone he can rely on without messing up

•Someone who wouldn't mind if he was busy a lot doing something for the mansion as he is the 24/7 working butler 😭 someone patient and doesn't mind sitting in silence just holding eachother after a long day

• Prefers an ambivert, definitely wants to be able to have balanced conversations where they can be bothered listener and talker

• that's all I can think of 😭

I'm going to leave it here and do the other six in another part 😭

[chiefdirector]

Talking | Tim Bradford | The Rookie

Act One | Chapter 16

I’m in a&e (er for my American friends) so y’all are getting a chapter early

"So, Detective Bradford, what evidence led to the arrest of my client." Wesley asked, pacing back and forth, arms crossed behind his back. He looked at (Y/N) expectedly.

They had been going over trial preparation for the last hour or so. In exchange for his services, (Y/N) brought a take out for them, as well as Tim and Angela. The other two had retreated into the kitchen to have some beers so as to not bore themselves to death.

"The operating detective arrested Mr. Smith of the claim of him being found holding the murder weapon over his dead fiancé."

"That proves nothing. Could he not have just picked it up in the heat of the moment? It must have been pretty traumatic for him. People act irrationally in moments of crisis."

"He could've but he didn't." (Y/N) rebutted, leaning further into the couch. "He practically confessed."

"There's no "practically" about it, detective. Either there is hard evidence that my client did this or you have arrested an innocent man going through one of the most terrifying things that one could experience."

(Y/N) flicked through the case file she had been given to build her testimony around. The acting detective hadn't been all too thorough as they were sure it was a clean cut case. Letting out a small "ha!" She smugly presented Wesley with a sheet of paper. "Here you will find the prints we ran on the gun. Only one set, belonging to Mr Smith. Any more questions?"

"No more questions at this time," he said, finally sitting down and reaching for the beer Angela had brought through to him a little while back. "You did good. Just keep that energy up and you'll be fine."

(Y/N) sighed, "You think? Court was never my strong suit."

"Yeah. I'd challenge you in the courtroom any day."

"No thanks. This was hard enough." (Y/N) laughed, leaning her head back to look into the kitchen, watching Tim and Angela bicker about something. "You wanna call them through or should I?"

"Actually," Wesley stood up, "I should probably get her home before something stronger comes out. You know how those too get."

"Oh god, don't remind me."

It didn't take long for Wesley to gather Angela up and make a quick departure. Once Tim had closed the door behind them, he made his way back into the kitchen where (Y/N) had begun to clear up. Dishes were stacked up high in the sink and bottles littered the counters.

"God, how much did you drink," she said, turning to face her husband. "It looks like the remnants of a brewery made a home here."

"Hardly any and not nearly as much as Angela, I always forget how much that woman can drink." Tim moved forwards, pacing his hands on (Y/N)'s hips, bringing her body into his. Softly he kissed her, "Leave all this for tomorrow."

"And what will we do now," she said, leaning in to kiss him again.

Quickly, he moved his grip on to hold her waist. Swinging one arm under her legs, he picked her up bridal style, moving towards the bedroom. "I can think of something."

- - - - -

"You look happy," Angela teased as she walked over to (Y/N)'s desk. "Too happy."

(Y/N) didn't look up to respond to her, knowing the direction Angela wanted this conversation to go. She didn't want to humour her friend but she also knew that if Angela wanted to do something, it would happen. "Can I not be happy? Is that against the rules?"

"Not at this time in the morning you can't." She said moving round the desk to lean over (Y/N)'s shoulder, now whispering. "Somebody got laid."

(Y/N) let out a breathy laugh. Shaking her head, (Y/N) continued to type. "And someone's trying to live vicariously through me. Having a dry spell, are we?"

"Not at all. But as much as I like talking to you about this, I have a suspect on the store robbery; his name is Damian Barrett. I'm sending Harper and Nolan to bring them in..."

"Right, okay? What do you need from me?"

Angela smiled,  "Nothing. I just wanted to say 'hi.'"

"Bullshit," (Y/N) leaned back in her chair, finally turning to face Angela who had decided to perch on the surface, "Also, that isn't a chair."

Lopez rolled her eyes as she got down. "I do have a reason for coming here though. Patrice is on my case about this wedding."

"And Patrice is...?

"Wesley's mom." She took out her phone, scrolling through her messages to show (Y/N) "This is just from last week. I need help."

"Don't ask me, Tim and I almost eloped. A lot less fuss and mess." (Y/N) smiled as she absently played with her rings, "I say go to the courthouse and throw a party or something after."

"You're wedding was lovely. How did you do it?"

"I didn't have much to do with it. It was all Grey and Tim."

Angela raised her eyebrow, "Sargent Grey? Sargent Grey as in the Sargent Grey who works here and was your boss helped plan your wedding?"

"Yeah," (Y/N) said, smiling as the memory came back to her.  "Grey nearly lost his head when I mentioned eloping. Something about how it would be a 'tragedy' and that it would happen over his dead body."

"Great," Lopez sighed, moving back towards her desk. "You are no help."

"Hey," she laughed, "You asked me!"

- - - - -

It was only mere moments after Angela had returned to her own desk did she approach (Y/N) again, this time her easy-going demeanour had hardened into something more serious. She had their shared case file tucked under her arm. 

"Harper and Nolan found our friend and put in interrogation. He's waiting on us. Seems like bad news, but like I said, he's only a suspect and we have got nothing concrete. We're going to try for a confession," Angela said, taking off, not leaving (Y/N) to question her any further.

With a small sigh, she got up to follow Angela to the interrogation room. She was going to let her take the lead, it was her case after all, she only came onto the case as a consulting detective. Besides, by the looks of the case, (Y/N) thought it may be an easy win.

Act One | Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Tags: @xceafh  @kmc1989  @buba424 @salty0cracker @iamasimpingh0e @malindacath @agentred27

Tags are open :)

[uninformedartist]

So I watched the 1st 2 eps

Spoiler-ish ahead.

Um not gonna say much in case a fan nukes my account but to be vague its not bad its just meh. For the 1st 2 episodes, if I didn't watch the pilot & knew nothing of hazbin it would feel like these characters are thrown at you, you got to know them to some degree before watching the show. The humour or lack there of is boring, that one scene of Niffty & Vaggie gave me a chuckle other than that not 1 laugh, so to me its a fail on the comedy department unless you find dick, fuck, shit, ect funny. Its red oh so red & the camera (and flipping sound effects) annoyed me to no end, like I got dizzy at some parts cos its just that obnoxiously red & the camera is moving here & there. The animation & character models... ooh boy but I won't complain on that cos I can see these animators & editors were on crunch time, poor souls.

The songs I didn't like, one part Niffty says she doesn't like a song & I agree with her. None of the songs were a hit for me, they're nice but not spectacular so for a musical thats bad. The voices are ok, tho

💀 my SOUL I HATE VALENTINO'S VOICE! He 1st starts off with some sexy accent (I cant say Spanish cos it aint it) and halfway it goes back to an American accent then back to that sexy accent. Who directed him cos I know the VA isn't bad it just his voice direction is all over the place, sighs.

I got more to say but waiting till the actual eps drop.

[skeleton-mischief]

Y/N who can see Dust!Sans papyrus. Papyrus, aiming to fix Dusts loneliness, lures her to him. (This can take place in a bad sans trio universe where dust just hops AU’s for funsies)

Ohohoho I appreciate the specifics, it helps me with knowing what you want. This'll be fun :-]‼️💥

Be warned, my silly ass actually has a fun interpretation for Papyrus when it comes to Dust and him. And for the sake of some plot hole answers, I'll give you a little treat when it comes to soulmates being involved. So, hopefully you'll like this take on it!

Hm. Something is wrong, very wrong. Where is he? Where is he where is he where is he where- no. no. This is normal. Paps always had a strange way of disappearing occasionally. His magic must be low, he hasn't dusted anyone in awhile. He has Saint and Killer, which keeps him company at least. Sure, Killer is a pain in the ass, but it's better than being alone. It's not like he needed to constantly hear his brother scolding him, but he feels a little emptier now. That's a whole part of his soul. One speck of his dust leaving his soul is a rare occurrence, a rare one indeed. Pap wouldn't use this to disappear somewhere though, right?

...

Where the fuck is he? It's getting awfully more uncomfortable for him when it's time to sleep, he can't focus on anything other than him. His one true companion, the one last remains of his own universe. For fucks sake he's been even confronted by Nightmare about what has been bothering him. Saint knows. Of course he does. Saint can tell that the absence of-...someone is affecting him. It's not like Paps doesn't appear every now and again, when his magic is strong. It's a small perk for his brother, especially since Dust is usually the only one who can see him. Killer asked him about his brother too, but he couldn't stop himself from walking off when he did.

Where is he? Why has he been gone for so long? Why? Why why why why why wh-

.....

He wants him to come back.

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Lately, you've been having strange dreams. Or... hallucinations?? It always happens at night, and you swear that it's not a normal thing for you to see a floating skull talking to you. Papyrus was his name. Ah- yes. That's a name that you haven't heard before, but it's pleasant. He's pleasant. Right now, he is talking to you about what used to be his favorite hobbies.

"Truly, I actually never could master how to cook spaghetti! It's not like it's my favorite food- that's dinosaur oatmeal- but everyone else likes it!! I always ruined it, but somehow my brother would eat it-"

"Brother?" You chipped in, interrupting his ramblings. He didn't seem to mind, his empty eye sockets seemed to somehow gleam when you asked. You were sitting up in bed, and he floated across from you with his gloved hands moving theatrically as he waved away an invisible line of thought. His mandibles opened as he grinned. He always had such a charming yet slightly off-putting smile.

"Yes, of course!! He's my older brother. He's still alive, actually! He goes by a different name nowadays, and he's...changed over time. But-!" Papyrus' skull leaned forward, his hands leaving a strange cold sensation that felt like icy air embracing your hands. You don't know why your chest made a strange feeling bubble up. "He's still a very kind skeleton. I wish you could meet him," He finished, his voice slightly softening from his usual boisterous tone. You smiled at this, tilting your head to the side as you humoured this idea. You wanted to know more about this skeleton and his apparent brother, but it's not like you didn't believe him. It's just that a part of you still clung onto the idea that you just happen to be having multiple strange dreams of the same skeleton with different conversations.

"Yeah? Well...what is he like? How much has he apparently changed?" You inquired, which seemed to cause Papyrus to hesitate. "Ah-...well. He used to be laid-back, happy. I remember how he happened to be quite popular and loved by others, with his charm and all. I found it irritating when he would prank me, spew nothing but lame puns, but nowadays I-....I miss those times. He's more...-"

One gloved hand waved slightly, as if he was trying to conjure up a description.

"Reserved now. He struggles with taking care of himself and connecting with others. He did something really...bad, a long time ago. He hasn't been the same sense, and sometimes it worries me. I think that someone like you could get through to him though!" "Why's that?"

Papyrus didn't answer quickly, and you didn't miss the slight spark of delight in his eyes. "I can just tell." He quipped, the hand that hasn't held yours now placed atop your head. If you were honest, it felt more physically present than before, as if his body started to solidify some more as his appearance becomes less hazy. "You're a good person, I think he needs someone to show him some of the good in things."

You felt your tongue click behind your teeth, a huff of laughter escaping your parted lips. Your ears tingled slightly, his words leaving your chest quivering for a moment as your grip became looser. "Well, thank you Papyrus," You let go of his ghostly hand after not saying anything for a minute, before you leaned back against the safety of your pillows. You rolled over on your side but still facing him as he adjusted himself to the side of the bed. "I haven't...I haven't heard someone tell me that in a long time." You finally settled on saying. Your eyes were hazy, and it seemed to click for Papyrus that you didn't want to explore that part of the conversation any longer.

He also noted the way your soul hummed through your ribcage, a special sight only he could see without complications. Who would've thought that you were his brother's soulmate? It was such a pleasant find, an accidental incident that not even Dust noticed. Thankfully, he caught it, saw the glowing of your soul from so far away. You were truly someone he found delightful to be around, and he knows that Dust would think the same thing, even if he would be stubborn about it at first.

He patted your head as your eyes started to close, his voice now a whisper. "Well, I'm glad that I was able to share my thoughts with you. Get some rest now, okay? I'll be back tomorrow, if that's alright with you?" "Mnh...yeah, that sounds...that sounds nice. Thank you again, Papyrus....Goodnight..."

"Goodnight,"

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Where have you been?!?" Dust couldn't help but shout, his hands gripping onto Papyrus' scarf and aggressively twisting it around. He had been collecting LV to try and get Papyrus back, only for him to now show up after a few weeks. "Do you know how confused I was? Worried?"

Papyrus didn't answer immediately, instead tapping his fingers against where his arms would be if he had any. Right now, he was still mostly transparent. He wasn't the only one though, with how Dust was trembling as his voice cracked slightly. He always fidgeted with his scarf when nervous. "I was spending time with a friend!!" He claimed with conviction. "A friend?" "Yes! And I think you'd love to meet them!"

Dust couldn't believe what he was hearing. A friend? From so far away? He was traveling multiple timelines, AU's, all to find Paps. And yet apparently that's where he has been this whole time? With a friend? He tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows squished together. He quickly tried to look indifferent, or at least more mad than he actually was. Papyrus wasn't falling for it though, he never did. "How did you even meet someone?" "Simple: I met them when I decided to travel back to where our timeline would be!" Papyrus was quick to dismiss, but Dust only frowned further.

"Why would I even want to? For one, we're always traveling, Pap. We're told not to get attached to anyone, you know this." Dust tried to rationalize, pacing now in his room as his hands kept fidgeting with the scarf. He's now resorted to pacing because he has too much on his mind, but he feels a cold touch to his head and it pulls him back momentarily. Papyrus has now drained some energy from Dust, his physical form more solid, visible to him.

"Brother. Please, I am aware. But trust me, this is for your own good. I really think that you simply must meet them, at least once." Dust felt Papyrus placing his other hand on his shoulder, his upper body slightly bent down to be more at eye level. Papyrus knows what will happen if Dust does meet you, but he wouldn't want to ruin the surprise. With the years passing of living with Sans, with who he is now, he's learned how to speak to him. He's no longer the easily swayed skeleton who would do anything on a whim. But, Papyrus isn't the same either.

"...Please?"

"....Pap,"

"....Do they really mean this much to you?"

"Sans."

Dust winced at the name.

"Yes, they do. I really think you'll like them."

"...Fine, fine."

Dust felt the cold touch of Papyrus when he wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tight with a giddy laugh. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Regret is not the right word he would use. No, regret would imply that he wishes that he never met you or something along those lines. No, he just wishes that he didn't meet you at this point in time when he's who he is now. When he entered an old timeline of his, he found that his soul felt instantly off. Not a bad feeling per say, but more...calm? He's never been too calm ever since the human fell all those years ago. But as his brother spoke, a white noise at the moment, he felt that he couldn't focus. His attention was pulled somewhere else, but Papyrus was able to help him with this.

You were prettier than he expected, but of course he couldn't say anything when you were at the moment losing your shit. Papyrus told him to teleport, a big mistake honestly since he's never been here, but Papyrus has. Papyrus, however, is not of this physical world. So when he teleported, guess what?? He fell straight from the ceiling, mid air. Thanks Papyrus, you're so much help. You had so gracefully been awake already, but you were in a separate room. You had run straight from the bathroom, your hair disheveled and your toothbrush hanging sideways from your opened jaw.

Sadly he couldn't admire you for too long before he had a toothbrush flung straight at his face and directly messing with his vision. Papyrus had to immediately drain him of his magic in order to become more translucent of reflected light and full bodied. Heourgh, he felt less energetic immediately, but at least the floor was quite comfortable. He didn't bother straightening up, not if it meant you'd throw something else at him. It's not a great first greeting with his soulmate, he'd apologize if he wasn't so tired. Papyrus was right, he would like you.

His soul was pumping, singing practically as he was able to feel the wavelengths of your soul. You didn't seem to fully notice, but he did. He noticed since his soul felt calmer, happier, and much more....in love? What a strange feeling, his soul is so used to the LV he has, the motivation, the constant distress and guilt. He's never felt so light, but maybe that's because he's lightheaded from teleporting and falling. You seemed to be calming down since Papyrus was there and easing your panic. Thank the stars he's here. He wishes he met you sooner, or maybe in a different timeline where he was...normal. Would the others accept this? Would they be considered your soulmates too? He's never been great at sharing. He doesn't want to drag you in the multiverse mess that is his life, but leaving you alone after this isn't an option.

Stars above you were so pretty. Your voice sounds like the pluck of strings tied to a harp, or a guitar. Filled with emotion, a world of thoughts and history behind them. He hopes you'll like him too. He doesn't want to be scary to you, but he knows that he is. He could be less mean? Maybe you like things that he likes, he can like things you like. He can try to be better if it means you won't find him scary, if you can trust him. Right now you were coming over to him, apologizing but clearly weary. Hey, at least you weren't dumb enough to get too close, he is a stranger after all.

He is so happy that his brother convinced him to meet you. Yeah, regret isn't the word he'd use. It's just going to be complicated. That's okay, he can wait, patience is a skill on his part. Even if things don't work because you don't end up liking him, he at least met you. This quiet in your presence has been so pleasant, still as a pond and soothing. He's thankful for at least this moment of tranquility deep within his soul. His brother already told him your name, but he doesn't want to be weird.

"...The name is Dust, I didn't mean to fall in your bedroom. Not a great introduction, huh?"

Oh would you look at that, he was talking! He doesn't do that often. He is suddenly insecure about the rasp in his voice. You don't seem to mind though, and in fact you smile. Oh wow. Your smile. You seem less scared, that's great. He'd do anything to keep that smile on your lips, anything at all... Too bad he passes out before you can respond. Great job, Dust.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Closing Notes: This took forever to type but I think I'm happy with it! I was busy, and a little unsure of how I wanted to type this. I hope you like this, vamp, you're so cool and this was fun. Don't be shy to ask for more stuff! I just wanted to write you a little more plot since you asked such a specific request for a skeleton hehe. Thank you :-)

[pongnosis]

ponggggggg bestie do you think yassen names his guns. DO YOU THINK ROSS NAMES HIS KNIVES. i think yassen would be a little averse to the whole naming thing considering hunter told him not to refer to his victims by names because it made them human. i feel like he would internalize that and think of his guns as mere weapons, as convenience, as tools and nothing more but still i'm sort of curious because some part of me also thinks he could name them. idk. he was petty enough to become an assassin just to spite him and the fact that he has a fav gun??? [it was a beretta right?] but this is also somewhat a useful tip. idkkkk im sleepy and feeling rambly and im making it your problem. also i bet gordon gives them the goofiest or the most poetic names. no in between. man's got a sense of humour but also has that shitton of history ping-ponging [heh] around in his head. anyways i think i'll go & try to catch some sleep. byeee <3

I think the only sentimental thing Yassen might have is the Fer de Lance, and that's one hundred percent headcanon, given that she might as well be a charter (or SCORPIA-owned) based on the information we got on her in Eagle Strike (look, I like ships, don't ship-shame!). I just really like the idea of Yassen having one thing that is his, and the unwelcoming looks of her, the tinted glass in the windows, and the name all seem like something he'd like. Everything else, especially his weapons, I think he has a very pragmatic approach to. They're something to be used and discarded if necessary, chosen based on the needs of the operation, and little else.

… except the Grach. I HAVE OPINIONS ON THIS ONE.

So. SO. Eagle Strike, page 49 in my version (Walker Books 2015 edition, from the box set, so who knows what the line originally said, but I've only ever seen the Grach referenced in fandom): "The gun was a Grach MP-443, black, with a short muzzle and a ribbed stock. It was Russian, of course, new army issue."

This is yet another enty in "Why Timelines Are, Like, Vibes Man", the ongoing saga by Ahorz.

The Grach MP-443 (wiki link) was developed in the nineties but didn't enter service until 2003, and while it was adopted as the standard sidearm, this did by no means happen immediately. It took YEARS for mass production to really start. For years after, there were - and still are - other Russian guns that were in far more common use and much easier to get a hold of for Yassen, who would presumably want to replace his gun fairly regularly to avoid inconvenient evidence.

Ignoring the timeline issue of exactly what year the books are set in (and whether the Grach was even in actual production by then), it seems like a very deliberate choice by Yassen. The Grach is not the best gun out there. It's not the most reliable, not the easiest one to find, not the most common (and more anonymous). It was, however, the new standard sidearm for the Russian military - the country that took everything from Yassen - and going out of his way to choose a weapon that most of the Russian military still hadn't been issued, one after the other to discard of when they became evidence, seems just like the sort of deliberately petty move he would like. A subtle 'fuck you' to his former home.

ALSO. I agree, Ross absolutely names his favourite knives. He'll rant about the bad ones if you get him going, but his favourite, most perfect knives, those get the adoring names. He's so the type to have an original V-42 stiletto in beautiful condition that he's named Rose.

[bowl-of-ramen-and-mushrooms]

Here's my cat being difficult,

And here she is posing,

ANYWAYS- I don't have ideas, pls give me some,

Here's an idea I had for the ai's escape with them but don'thave suitable bodies,

She could see the stars, glittering and bright above them. When had she ever taken the time to really look up at them, see their beauty without smog or lights.

Is that what those are?

What the fuck, oh shit she could swear again, shit, fuck bitch. What was she freaking out about again? Oh yeah, the mysterious voice in her head, that's what she's freaking out about.

I'm, what? In your head? You're in my head.

Was that Gummigoo? Why was he in her head? She brought her hand up to her head, trying to stave off the oncoming headache.

Oh, that's weird, I didn't move that arm.

Yeah, no, this is my body. You can't move it.

Someone touched her arm and she jumped, looking behind her to see. She didn't actually know yet, the person behind her vibed like Ragatha, but she couldn't be too sure.

"Are you okay? I think you're Pomni," the curly red haired woman asked, tilting her head. Definitely Ragatha.

"Fine, just fine. I'm either going insane or something fucked up," she grinned as the swear escaped her, which caused someone in the background to start muttering several curse words in very quick succession.

"Why would you think that?" She ignored Ragatha for the moment as a lanky purple haired man started cursing an invisible someone out. Okay, not just her and Gummigoo then, she does not envy Jax.

Aw, thanks mate.

She pointed at who she heavily assumed to be Jax, "I think I got a similar problem to him,"

Ragatha looked over her shoulder to the grumbling Jax, who was cursing and gesturing at nothing.

Okay, maybe she was a lot better off, or he was actually insane.

Is, is he just an animated talker? Or is, Caine, just able to be seen. Can I be seen?

She shrugged instead of an actual answer, getting a weird look from Ragatha.

"Why'd I have to be coupled up with you huh? It's bullshit- no I'm not going to censor myself!" Jax loudly complained, ruining the silent atmosphere of the still night.

She sent a glare his way, trying to deal with a headache herself and his yelling was not helping.

Oh, sorry Poms, should I be quiet?

No, no, I think it's the whole, here's another consciousness that's going to be shoved into my brain suddenly, she sat down, dangling her legs over the roof edge as she tried to organize her thoughts into what were actually hers, because she knew for a fact that some of these memories weren't hers.

Gummigoo seemed to be having a similar problem to her, and she could feel his presence in certain memories. Rummaging through them with care.

Sorry for the trouble Poms, I know this can't be the most pleasant to deal with.

She looked at Jax, who was still spitting curses and comebacks to a figure none of them could see or hear. It could be a lot worse, she could have Caine in her head, and he would surely give her a bigger headache than she had right now.

Glad to know I'm not the worst case, but I'm still sorry for snooping around in here, even if it's not purposeful.

It could be so much worse, she repeated the thought, looking out over the far away cityscape in front of them, have you ever seen a city like this? Your adventure was more wild west than anything.

A city huh, certainly much bigger than I thought they'd be.

It's so much bigger than it looks right now, she sighed, staring at it wistfully. I had an apartment, friends, family, I wonder how much time has pass-

There was a loud clang and a shout behind her, and she turned around to find that Jax had face planted in the dirt.

"WHAT THE FUCK! How did you even do that!" He yelled, getting up only for his arm to do a weird motion, "STOP IT-"

She laughed softly to herself, and Gummigoo too, apparently, eyeing the commotion with a gleam of humour in her eyes.

Something that was really only diminished slightly by her own fingers twitching against her will.

[minhosimthings]

Vanilla Meat

Synopsis: In which your husband makes your weird pregnancy cravings.

Pairings: Husband!Minho × pregnant reader (fem duh)

Warnings: FLUFFY SHIT YEAH. Mention of throwing up, mention of food

A/N: One more drabble because I have writer's block rn. Absolutely cannot write another chapter. College is getting more work filled, so I'll try to update more often if I can! Oh btw, I took inspo from my cousin! She had really weird cravings when she was preggers and she told me some stories so this is based off of that!

Your mouth tasted so weird today. And you had no idea why. Oh wait you did have an idea. And that was the baby growing in your currently ravenous stomach. Being pregnant was harder than you thought (and your mom had told you) and now, at five and half months, your mouth started craving weird things. Thankfully you had a husband and said husband was a simp for you so he would basically make you anything you asked for, but not before giving you the biggest side eye ever.

"Kitten you ok?" Minho was leaning against your side as you bent over the toilet seat. Morning sickness had gotten worse since your fourth month even though your doctor assured you that morning sickness usually subsides by the fourth month. But then again, as I said, dear audience, you were a weird person. "Yeah I think I'm fine. I, uh, alright don't get mad but I didn't take my meds today." Minho sighed deeply at your words as he helped you get back on your feet. He knew you hated taking meds, pills especially since you didn't like the way they got stuck in your throat and you had to force it down although you enjoyed doing that with other things. Minho helped you get comfortably into bed and tucked the corners of your baby blue blanket in just like the way you like it. You smiled sweetly at him, silently appreciating your husband for doing so much for you. "Kitten please you've got to take those meds. I know you don't like them but I don't like avocado and you forced me to try them so now you're gonna have to pay me back." You pouted and furrowed your brows at his words. You tried to put on the best puppy eyes you could but you knew they wouldn't work on the sexy man standing in front off you, in a black turtleneck sweater with rolled up sleeves which made you kinda horny. Minho sighed again and cupped your face gently and said, in a tone unlike his normal one, "How about I make you something and then you take the meds?" Your eyes lit up at that as you did a tiny bounce and looked at Minho, like a child looking at the ice cream man. "Only if you take the meds though." Minho added sternly gently moving his hands to your aching legs. You thought for a moment before extending your hand out and shaking Minho's after which he placed a gentle kiss on your hand. "I'll make some japchae and order your favourite songpyeon ok?" "Actually baby?" Your voice stopped Minho as he made to get up. "Can you make me something weird?" Minho's face contorted into one of humour as he knelt down to your level and said, "Well of course your Highness. What delight would you like today?" You let out a tiny giggle and booped his nose. "I want meat." Minho was kind of taken back as he placed his hands softly on your belly and asked "That's it? Our baby is craving for dada's famous meat?" You tried to hide your mischievous smile and instead said in a playfully commanding voice, "Yes. Our baby is craving the best grilled meat in the kingdom. Oh and I would prefer if it was last night's meat please." Minho got up and kissed your forehead gently, but not before doing a tiny curtsey "Your wish is my command, Your Highness. Anything to go with the meat? Pudding perhaps?" "Can you also get me some of that vanilla ice cream Jisung left here last night?" Minho smiled and gently squeezed your hand before disappearing through the bedroom door.

He came back a few minutes (read : hours, since you were an inpatient and hungry pregnant woman) with a blue porcelain plate and your favourite pink bowl, which you expected was filled with ice cream. You pulled out your tiny bed table and settled it on the bedsheets as Minho put the delicious meat down along with the ice cream and to your disappointment, your packet of pills. You decided, however not to pull a face, and instead thanked your husband for bringing food to you. "Your welcome Jagiya. But you need to take the pills alright? Otherwise you can't see Doongie for a whole week." You let out a dramatic gasp at his words at his words and gave him a flying kiss, which he gratefully took. You took some of the slightly charred meat and picked up your ice cream spoon as Minho watched with curiosity, his cat like eyes wide open to form those cute star filled ones no one could resist. You then, to the horror of your husband, scooped some of the ice cream, put it on your piece of meat and then proceeded to put the entire thing in your mouth as Minho watched on very disgusted. He let out a very heavy sigh and said "Kitten, I know you're pregnant and I know all of your weird all cravings. And they've been normal usually like fish with mayo but kitten really? Vanilla ice cream with meat?" You looked Minho's cute frame and jut out your bottom lip to form a pout. "Just try It once Min. You'll like this I promise." Minho sighed again and said, "If I try it, because you've peaked my interest now, what will I get in return?" You thought for a moment and said "You can name our baby." Minho's eyes, now lit up with determination and excitement as he teased you, "Really kitten? Are you stooping that low for me to try your cravings?" You merely shrugged your shoulders and prepared another bite of the vanilla Meat for Minho as he took a deep breath and leaned forward, as if he was ready for combat. You gently pushed the meat into Minho's mouth and waited for his reaction, which, quite possibly, was the most adorable thing you have ever seen in your life. His closed eyes slowly opened and widened to form two big globes and mouth stayed closed. You couldn't decipher the expression on his face, but you knew it was the same expression he did whenever he ate pudding. "It's that good huh?" You questioned him. He was quick to shake his head. "That was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten in my life, well except for Jisungie's cooking. Im gonna go wash up, while you eat the rest of your definetly not edible food." You threw him a sarcastic smile as he got up and went downstairs. You happily ate the rest of your food, with the nice thought in your head that Minho was definitely going to make this for you again. You didn't have the heart to tell him the next morning, that you heard him call Jisung in the dead of the night with the words, "Dude you gotta try meat with vanilla ice cream."

Epilogue

"Hon how are you eating that?" Minho was laying on his pillow, watching you eat Oreos with pieces of raw fish. You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. "I mean it's what your twins are craving." "Alright then." You slightly smirked and turned your head towards Minho as he turned his head with the speed of lighting to face you. "WE'RE HAVING TWINS?"

[rubber-glovs]

Vent post (wow a 2 in 1!!)

I really want to talk about sfth with my friends, but they don't understand how my hyperfixations work for me. I was talking about sfth with my friend (who is currently being turned into a shark friend) and they thought I was weird because of how much I had admired them, wrote fanfics abt (characters, not rpf) and had photos of them. Like it's hard for me to talk about my interests, I constantly have to hold myself back from going insane and yapping about them so much because they don't understand. Same with my other hyperfixations. I talked about Grian with another one of my friends, and they just thought I was such a weirdo for caring so much about some blocks. It was as if they weren't even listening. It actually hurt me quite a lot. My hyperfixations control my life, I think about them all the time and everything is a reference. The fact that people think I'm weird for that, the people that I care about the most in the world, makes me so upset. I'd rather have no one to talk to about my interests than be told I'm weird again. I don't really like having no one to talk to about something that I am so invested and interested in because I make my own bubble of thoughts that I just keep to myself and wish I had someone to talk to about it.

I actually can't believe I'm going to talk about boy problems. It feels ridiculous, but this next part is about a guy. I don't want to go too deep into details about us but think of all those casual by Chappel Roan tiktoks. He loved me, and I loved him. He just didn't know I was trans. When I had the courage to come out to him, he stopped talking to me completely. We didn't have each other on any socials, so there was no communication. I tried to talk to him, try to start a conversation with him, but he'd always end it and quite literally walk away and act like a stranger. It took him a year to actually just talk to me. It felt nice but hated how I liked it. It brought back all these sweet memories we had and my love for him. I hated it. I still hate it. I hate it right now. It's the new school year/grade, and we have classes together, we are sat near each other in classes, and I really wish we weren't. In spanish/languages class, we sat together (we have a seating plan), and he moved seats away from me. He didn't sit next to a friend. He just moved away from me. I hate to admit that it hurt me. Additionally, he has so many red flags. He's a terrible person, yet I put it to the side because I love him. Saying or even typing the words "I love him" actually makes me feel so guilty. I fucking hate his guts. I hate my guts, too. I don't hate him because he started distancing himself from me. I hate him because he's such a bad person. And I hate myself for loving him anyway. It's been a whole year since the day I fell in love with him, and I wish that day never happened. I wish we just stayed friends. I wish we never sat next to each other in that fucking maths class. His name is poison to me. It burns my skin the second I hear it. It hurts my heart, and it stops besting because I know he's shitty and I know I am too. Everything I find with his name on it, I want to rip it apart. I hate that name because it's his. It's ruined so much for me because I have such a terrible problem with it. I want these feelings to go away before I rip my large intestines out like a party trick. I hate having feelings for him. He's fucking awful. I hate myself so much because I love this man. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate everything about him that I used to love. I hate his voice, eyes, smile, laugh, hair, humour and just fucking everything. I fucking hate him. I hate myself for loving him. It's something that lives in the back of mind, and it taunts me every time I see him. I wish I never knew him. I wish he was just a classmate. I really fucking wish he was just a classmate. I hate myself.

[sealochs]

Dear Ellie, how to find love in your thirties when you are tired of "putting yourself out there", frenetic dating apps, and just want a relationship that feels peaceful and soft? I'm fulfilled and blessed by wonderful friendships but I do also want a life partner and family in the near-ish future, and I'm beginning in to lose hope.

i am sending you so much love, anon. i know much of how this feels, although i wasn't in my 30s before meeting w. (i was 26), so i want to hold space for that difference. i also don't want to patronise you with reminders that you are whole & complete & entirely lovable without a partner; i trust that feels self-evident, & i always found it annoying when i was single & others would confuse my want for a partner with a need. wanting that kind of love is so very valid & not, i believe, a want which says anything about your sense of self-worth or independence.

but please don't lose hope. you already know how to love, & have others who love you, because you have these wonderful friendships. i feel wary of giving any specific, firm advice as such, because everyone is so different & i don't know you or your dating history, but i can share my experience in the hope that it's somewhat helpful?

i can entirely understand your dislike of dating apps, but after many false starts & similar periods of frustration, i did meet w. on one, & have friends who have similarly built wonderful, real & fulfilling relationships from an app match. if i am honest, i swiped right on w. when i was in a very devil may care, fuck it, swipe right on anyone & everyone who looks even halfway decent mood. usually, i was very very picky with who i swiped right on, & even pickier about who i went on a date with. i don't say this to insult him! his profile simply didn't tell me much about who he is: his pictures were old so he looked more boyish & awkward than he really is (imagine my delighted surprise when i turned up to our first date to find a very charming & properly grown Man); his replies to prompts had an odd tone that i now know to be his wonderfully earnest sense of humour; his entirely different from mine career has actually turned out to be a blessing of a contrast - instead of giving us nothing in common to talk about, we've found endless common ground in other areas that are less easily referenced on a dating profile, & we can still interest one another with stories about our work because there are so many dissimilarities.

all this is to say that i'm now a big believer in having a very open mind on the apps. all those people with perfectly posed photographs & witty responses to prompts? they're very good at the game, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're the person for you. if you're someone who wishes they could meet a partner "organically", it seems likely that the people who seem to be ~ bad at the apps are actually the ones you might get along best with. shoot that just okay, not very informative, bit awkward person a message! worst case scenario the chat is dead or weird or uncomfortable, & you block & move on without ever meeting them.

which kind of brings me to my other thought on dating apps, & indeed dating in general, which is that i think it helps to approach it as a bit of fun! as i say, i was fully in a fuck it i may as well mood when i met w. i was literally planning a slut era! i was all ready to go on as many first dates with as many people as possible! i was not looking for a relationship! then sod's law, my first date of this new slut era turns out to be the one. i am obviously not saying this will definitely happen to you, too, but i truly think the attitude helps. you can take the pressure off. swipe right, chat to some people, meet up for some low expectations drinks in a neutral place. worst case scenario, it's boring or weird or uncomfortable, but you can leave when you want & then you can block & move on. best case scenario, they turn out to be the one. & every scenario between those is pretty nice & fun. same goes for approaching someone irl, i think. if they don't engage, or do chat but turn you down when you ask them out, you can leave. hit the bricks! you'll never see them again! or you might get a date out of it, & that's an instant confidence boost even if the date itself turns out to be bad.

i don't know if that helps, & it may be that you have very good & strong reasons for not wanting to use apps again, but if you are open to it i do think they can be worth it. there are cons, which we all know, but there are pros too. everyone there is looking for the same thing, so you don't have the awkwardness of irl encounters & figuring out if someone's single and/or interested. if they've swiped right on you, they're at the very least interested in a chat. & there's also the way they allow you to keep it to the app for as long as you want, giving you time to figure out if you do want to meet up. with irl encounters, you kinda have to move faster because you know you likely won't see them again unless you ask to.

i'll say one final thing in response to what you say here about wanting a relationship which feels peaceful & soft. it is entirely possible that you could meet someone & it feels that way immediately. but do also be prepared to work for that peace & softness. sometimes the process of getting to know & love someone is awkward or confusing or thrilling or surprising or heated or wild or any & all of these things. it can take time & understanding & effort to find that peace & softness, which makes it no less wonderful.

mostly, i'm sending you lots of love, & willing you not to lose hope. delight in your friendships, invest in all of your interests, keep yourself open to the world, & give yourself permission to want. i am wishing so much love for you <3